#i don't see why you need to care about any of them''
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luckyladylily · 2 days ago
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So like, transandrophobia.
To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.
So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.
So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.
Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.
The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.
Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.
Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.
Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.
This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.
Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.
This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.
So in summary:
Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.
I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.
I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.
The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.
I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.
I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.
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rhube · 2 days ago
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Gavin doesn't smoke! No one smokes in DBH! They have envisioned a future where society has moved past this deadly and unnecessary habit! Why the fuck are ppl reintroducing it?? It's such a rubbish shorthand for Bad Boy. You don't need smoke breaks for people to go outside and talk! This is a trope that hasn't even been common on TV for 30 years! What are you doing?? Stop it! You know that would make his mouth taste bad to kiss, right?
There is also no suggestion that he engages in any kind of substance abuse - not alcohol, not smoking, not drugs, not even coffee! He's just about the healthiest-looking human in the game. He had the body of a gym-rat. My man is STACKED. That is a man who watches his diet! Counts his protein! He cares what goes into his body! You see him request ONE cup of coffee, and he doesn't even drink it!
AND WHILST WE'RE HERE, there is fuck all evidence that he is in any way related to Elijah Kamski. Sure, they are played by the same voice actor. A very skilled voice actor who makes them sound completely different, and he's animated by a team who worked hard to make the characters LOOK really different. They have different skin-tones, face shapes, hair and eye colours, body types and heights! These are not brothers!
Pitching up at my fic in which Elijah Kamski is not tagged saying 'I can't wait to see how you work in Elijah being Gavin's brother!' I'm NOT. I don't LIKE him. He skeeves me out. I will not be woobifying him for plot convenience because billionaire geniuses can solve everything. They can't. He's a canon abusive arsewipe and that IS what billionaires are like. He will be staying far away from all my precious babies!
Like... listen, I can deal with it. Some of my favourite fics commit these crimes. You do you. I have not rocked up to your comments to tell you you shouldn't. Just tag your fanon appropriately and don't show up at my fics expecting it of me. Fanon is NOT canon.
tfw "popular" fanon becomes so embedded in a fandom & discussions within fandom spaces that people just start treating it as the default and all interactions with others are coloured by this interpretation. have you considered that I actually don't subscribe to this take, which is nowhere in the source material? wait nvm, clearly not.
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gyaruhana · 22 hours ago
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Would you be willing to write about Thanos from Squid Game competing with a girlfriend who is very quiet and easily manipulated? Would love to see how he would protect her
Thanos/Choi Su-Bong - Easily manipulated!Reader Headcannons
Synopsis: thanos headcannons with an easily manipulated reader
A/N: i made two headcannons - one where he's a dickhead and the other where he's not so take your pick which you'd rather read !!
Warnings: Manipulation, HEAVY manipulation,
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In the games (Thanos when he's high so bad thanos):
he does manipulate you himself honestly
don't think you're safe from this man
silent threats masked with a baby voice to keep you on his side
doesn't trust you with anyone else so he keeps you close to him
makes you believe he'd keep you safe but, if it came down to you or him, he's letting you die.
super super touchy and always has an arm around your shoulder or he holds your face in his hands
maintains eye contact with you to make you feel like he cares when he's only using you
if he betrays you and you still survive somehow, he's quick to give you fake apologies and claim he didn't mean to
At some point, he takes his manipulation even further and starts using you for sex
Subtly tricks you into thinking you're a murderer by blaming you for the people he's killed and saying he wouldn't have had to do it if it wasn't for you
Isolates you from the others and makes you distrust them so you won't believe them when they say that he's using you
Myung-gi tried to tell you once and it made you question how Thanos really felt about you
His instinct reaction was to ask you if you really believed someone who had scammed so many people over him when he was the one who had 'kept you safe'
Basically guilt trips you
if you keep pushing his limits, he will hurt you
then he'll say it was your fault once again that he had to do that
makes you take his drugs too so you'll be even more naive to his clear manipulation
if you die before him, he'll have no remorse at all
He'll just look at you dead in the eyes before you do with a grin before waving goodbye as you get shot
Overall, manipulative dickhead that uses you for personal gain
"Do you really believe him over me? He's been a liar since before these games. I've kept you safe this whole time. Why would i lie to you?" he speaks with anger as he grips your chin in his hand. He was pissed you were questioning him. Maybe he hadn't manipulated you enough? Perhaps he needed to teach you a lesson about questioning him so he could put you back in your place. After all, he needed you if he was going to win 45.6 Billion won. "I don't want to do this to you but you need to learn a lesson,"
In the games (Thanos when he's not high so good Thanos):
worried about you honestly.
he likes to be around you constantly because he doesn't want you to be manipulated by someone
tries to tell you to not be so naive and just trust him
he doesn't trust anyone to not try to use you for their own gain in a game like this
protects you with his life.
If someone's talking to you, he's immediately by your side, his arm around your shoulder
He just wants to make sure you're not being tricked
typa guy who does sound sort of manipulative because he's always telling you to only trust him..
he doesn't mean to sound that way though he just doesn't want you to fall for someone's lies
super touchy
tries to get you to keep playing but, if you say no, he won't push any further and let you make your own choice
always ask you three times over about things he wants just to make sure you want it and you're not just agreeing because he asked
if you somehow get a private conversation without him around, he will immediately ask what they told you
If someone DOES try to manipulate you, he's on them so fast
will fight them and not hold back at all
overall, super caring and makes sure NOBODY manipulates you or else
"What are you talking about to my girlfriend here?" Thanos speaks as he walks towards you - his gaze on the man who had been talking to you. He didn't like it when other people would talk to you given your nature. He just didn't trust anyone's intentions with you and assumed everybody was out to get you. Better to be safe then sorry, he thought. He slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to him. It was a clear threat to the guy to make him back off and not even think about coming near you again. "Actually, I don't care. Just leave her alone,"
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creativepromptsforwriting · 14 hours ago
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Drabble List #12
75 prompts to write drabbles or longer stories.
"Everyone should be delighted to know me."
"Tick tock, the clock is ticking."
"What a fantastic idea!"
"Not going to destroy the world or anything."
"You're awful at solving riddles."
"That was a poor decision."
"Do you really think you can handle the truth?"
"I never thought I'd see you again."
"Why did you lie to me?"
"This isn't the end, it's just the beginning."
"You promised you'd never leave."
"There's more to this story than you know."
"I'm not the hero you think I am."
"Sometimes, doing the right thing means making tough choices."
"If you walk away now, don't bother coming back."
"I've kept this secret for far too long."
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"They'll never believe us, but we have to try."
"I can't believe you just said that."
"No one else knows, and it has to stay that way."
"Do you trust me?"
"We can't let them win."
"You have no idea what you're getting into."
"This changes everything."
"I thought I knew you."
"I've waited my whole life for this moment."
"You were the last person I expected to see."
"Why does it always have to be you?"
"We're running out of time."
"Do you think they suspect anything?"
"I've made up my mind."
"This isn't what I signed up for."
"How can you be so sure?"
"We can't afford any mistakes."
"You can't keep running away from your past."
"What are we supposed to do now?"
"Sometimes, the hardest thing is to let go."
"You know this isn't right."
"What are you hiding from me?"
"We have to stick together."
"I'm not giving up on you."
"There's no turning back now."
"I never wanted any of this."
"What if we don't have a choice?"
"It's time to face the music."
"You have to trust your instincts."
"Everything we've worked for is at stake."
"I didn't expect you to understand."
"This is our only shot."
"I'm not interested anymore."
"You owe me an explanation."
"We can't do this alone."
"I thought you were on my side."
"This is bigger than both of us."
"What do you have to lose?"
"I can't pretend anymore."
"You're not as invisible as you think."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"You're the only one who can help."
"We need to be careful."
"Are you with me?"
"No, this is enough."
"I don't think I can do this."
"Ok, so sue me."
"What a fine young man."
"This isn't about you."
"I know what I have to do."
"We need to find a way out."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's not as simple as it seems."
"I can't believe it's come to this."
"This isn't over yet."
"What's the plan?"
"Take me to court."
"There's no easy answer."
Drabble Masterlist
Have fun creating and writing!
If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰
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thisisntmyrightera · 3 days ago
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Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3
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Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.
Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language
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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻
The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.
The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.
Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.
But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.
Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly
If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?
Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know
Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..
To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind
Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave
Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.
I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.
Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little
Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again
The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.
She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.
Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.
That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her
I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers
Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment
Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure
She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers
Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true
Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile
Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile
''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''
Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled
Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down
Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players
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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.
The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other
''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze
There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair
Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him
There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more
No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head
Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room
''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath
Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me
Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed
As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.
You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes
I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor
Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it
''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other
Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it
This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate
Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor
Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath
Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly
''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again
What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared
Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room
What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath
What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses
The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset
What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor
This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside
No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it
'' 10..9..8..7 ''
NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell
''6…5…4…3''
PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..
''2…1…''
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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3
Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!
Tag List!
@kuureii @sann1e @sunflowers-are-heaven @bridellashiper @etta-huracan @cupiid1 @alianacelinecolux @juliexz @duchcess
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captain-kit-adventuress · 2 days ago
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I haven't read any cozy fantasy, to be fair, but because these posts are mostly talking about the fundamentals of good writing while the fundamentals of cozy fantasy are taking more of a backseat, I feel comfortable throwing in my pov. I agree with all of the above, but I think we should probably add on discussion of why tension works even when stakes are low.
Given all of the GBBO mentions, let's liken writing a story to baking. So what differentiates a cake from bread from a biscuit from [insert thing here]? Mostly ratios. Cakes and breads and biscuits are all made with the same fundamental ingredients, for the most part, but the ratios of each differ greatly between them, as do some of the techniques used. A more traditional fantasy is mostly plot-driven. That's one ingredient. Of course, you still need character and setting and all the rest, but because a traditional fantasy tends to use a big window into its world, you'll need lots of plot and worldbuilding in the mix. There is The Quest or The Prophecy or The Villain's Downfall or The Hero's Redemption or whatever, and these kinds of story tropes require a lot of moving parts to get to the end. Character is still important in a plot-driven book because it will enrich whatever that plot is, but the big window you're opening will swallow up the characters if you're not careful to get the other ratios just right.
But a cozy fantasy isn't like that. The window is much smaller, and so the ratio of ingredients necessarily has to change. Tension vs stakes is a great way to think about that ingredient mix, but when you're shifting your main base, you also have to shift the ratios of the other ingredients or it's going to turn out wonky. With a smaller window generally comes a smaller (though no less important) story. We don't see as much of the world in a cozy setting, so focusing too much on worldbuilding might crowd out the other elements in the story and overpower them. What tends to fit well in a smaller window is character. But if you want to create tension instead of stakes--and it is incredibly important to know the difference between the two, as the above post illustrates well--you can't rely on plot so much. Tension is all about character.
The reason tension works in GBBO is not just because the characters care about the outcome, it's that we bond with them and care about it also. We want it to go well for them. (Or at least, go well for our favourites lol.) So with bland, uninspiring, nothing characters, even introducing tension isn't going to work well if readers have no reason to root for your characters, and wanting to see good in the world just won't cut it. In the case of the fantasy coffee shop idea, why do we care that this coffee shop survives? What makes the character care? What is the thing (or things) that makes the character get out of bed every day to run this shop? It doesn't have to be a big reason, either. It's not like it has to be to honour the memory of their dead mother whose dying wish was to own a shop like this, it needn't be dramatic. But it does have to feel like a real reason this person would be so motivated.
A different cozy genre that does this well is cozy mysteries, and those are all about characters. We always know there's going to be a murder (or at least the appearance of one). So that part of the plot is taken care of. What the author of a cozy mystery must do, then--besides solving the mystery--is tell us why that murder matters. The only question an author needs to answer before writing a cozy mystery after they've answered whodunit is why they did it. And you can only do that through the people that are still alive. The worldbuilding may contribute to it, but the murder doesn't matter except as it relates to the ones who are left in the aftermath.
Something I've noticed in recent years is that some authors are starting to approach independent stories like they do fanfic. To some extent, that's fine because good writing is good writing is good writing. One of the biggest differences between independent stories and fanfiction, however, is that fanfiction doesn't need a reason to exist. You can write that cute scene with no stakes and no tension and people will read it because it's like a deleted scene from the original, and it has all of the canon to support it. The existing canon is the primary reason fanfiction exists.
Independent stories are not like that. They must have a reason to exist outside of "this is cute and I like it." We readers don't have access to the world in your head in any other way than through the published material, and it's an author's responsibility when writing independent stories to give us that access. You have to show us why we should care, and if you're spending too much time worldbuilding and plotting and dialoguing and not enough time making us care about the people in the story, we're not going to be any wiser at the end, and tension vs stakes vs anything else isn't going to matter.
Cozy Fantasy and Why It Doesn't Work
I think I am among many who feel like they should love cozy fantasy and have found it an incredibly lacking genre.
This newly branded "cozy fantasy" genre that has taken readers by storm since 2020 and while it is new that books are now marketed as cozy, the genre itself isn't new. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a great example of the genre before it was labeled and also how to make it work.
Cozy fantasy is defined by many as fantasy with low stakes. Fantasy aesthetic but less sword fights. On paper, it sounds great. But the execution has been less than stellar for readers like me. The lack of physical stakes has also impacted the emotional stakes of these books, creating forgettable characters with boring problems. As a romance reader, I find this frustrating. Romance is known for being a predictable and formulaic genre, the now defunct Romance Writers of America defined romances as needing happy endings, a term romances have continued to follow. Yet these romance texts manage to have low physical stakes (how to date your neighbor, how to confront your toxic friends, etc) while still maintaining high personal stakes that keep readers invested and begging for more. So I was initially confused why cozy fantasy authors struggle to write texts that connect to readers like me.
I think I have found the answer which is the genre is just here for vibes. It is all about aesthetic, not even worldbuilding that fantasy is known for as most cozy fantasy I read have so many problems as soon as you ask one question. It is hard to acknowledge that a genre that is pitched to work for readers like me doesn't work for many of us. Especially because occasionally there is one that works beautifully to my taste.
I often say my favorite cozy fantasies that are more contemporary are short and visual, which I plays into the idea of the genre being an aesthetic. The Bakery Dragon by Devin Elle Kurtz is a good example because it is a simple story that is given the perfect amount of pages and gorgeous visuals without dragging on when the message is very clear and easy to understand. Books like The Phoenix Keeper and Legends and Lattes have absolutely nothing for me, their very clear message hitting the reader over and over so the readers don't miss it and focusing on the aesthetic of worldbuilding rather than the reality of the fantastic elements within the world.
I guess my point is. . . I realize this genre isn't for me since I have realized it is more of an aesthetic than anything. .. .but I want it to be. Should I let it go and put my efforts elsewhere? Or should I keep exploring this new trend and find the hidden gems?
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aperrywilliams · 2 days ago
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A Bit Rougher (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: You and Spencer have been in a relationship for a little bit more than four months now, and the team doesn't know. One day, the BAU girls ask you by your mystery partner they know you have - even if they don't know who it is - and bring up a topic you are not so sure to share with Spencer yet: your kinky side in sex. What happens when the same Spencer puts a test on you on that matter?
Word Count: 6.5k (I'm not sorry)
Warnings: SMUT/18+/MDNI. Where do I start? Reader sleeps with Spencer (obviously). Talks about sex life. Mentions of tantric sex and rough sex. Mentions of some kinks like choking, spanking, and dom-sub dynamics. Clothes get ripped, Spencer calling you 'my girl' (oh God), masturbation (f receiving), fingering, kind of choking, dirty talk. Spencer does his best as a dom (soft!dom because it can't be any other way), penetrative sex, spanking, begging, more dirty talk, creampie (it really doesn't exist another word for this?), and aftercare. Spencer is the best boyfriend in the world. If I forgot something, please let me know.
A/N: This one was a request. I can't find the original message, and I don't know if the person who asked wanted their name here (I can quickly add it if they want to).
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The moment rays of sunlight peek through the curtain and hit my face, I turn to my back to avoid them, not ready to fully start the day yet.
Still half awake, half sleepy, I can feel a pair of hazel looking at me. I peek one eye open, and I see Spencer smiling at me.
"Good morning, beautiful," he rasps. And I don't know why such simple words have me blushing like a schoolgirl. Beaming, I return the greeting.
"Morning, handsome."
I get my reply with a lingering kiss on my lips, which I fully savored until a sudden thought came to me.
"What time is it? We need to get up."
Spencer, with his calm voice, shakes his head.
"It's a bit early yet. We have time. Also, you have some clothes here, so you don't need to go to your apartment before driving to work."
Smart me for bringing clothes to his apartment. It's an obvious decision, though, considering I have spent more nights here in the past weeks than in my place.
A devilish smirk makes an appearance on my face.
"So, we do have time, don't we?"
"Yes, sweetheart. We do," Spencer mumbles, scooting closer and peppering kisses on my face and then down to my collarbone.
Oh boy, this is what I call a good way to start the day.
-
How much time can you fool a bunch of the best profilers in the country, hiding your relationship with one of your coworkers? Spencer and I keep the count. The mark is set now in four months and two weeks.
It's not that we are embarrassed by what we have or anything close to that. It's just that things started so casually and naturally, and they're running so smoothly, so we want to keep it to ourselves as long as we can.
And by now? It's working.
We have also been careful about it. On our first nights together, we woke up early and went home for a shower and a change of clothes. After some weeks, we started to pack extra in our go-bag. Now, we have at least a change of clothes in each other's places. The second rule is never to get to work at the same time or on the same transportation. Spencer usually takes the metro even if I can drive and make time in the parking lot. Just one day, we did it, and we were so worked up in our making out session that we almost got caught by Morgan, who parked two cars away from mine.
Naturally, any form of PDA at work is completely off-limits. That's the toughest rule to follow. After all, we spend more time at the office and on the road than we do at home, so avoiding any kind of touch is definitely a challenge.
Despite all that, I can't help but feel happier every day as I fall deeper for Spencer. I often feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, constantly distracted by thoughts of him. Clearly, my behavior hasn't gone unnoticed, at least not by the three girls cornering me right now in the BAU kitchen.
"So, are you going to deny you're having fun these days?" Emily teases me while JJ and Penelope giggle in agreement.
"Where did that come from?" I say, intentionally diverting my gaze to the mug I'm filling with coffee.
"It's just basic observation, my dear," Penelope chimes in.
"Basic observation? I honestly don't follow you guys at all," I reply, feeling a bit overwhelmed by this unexpected Tuesday morning interrogation. This time, JJ steps forward with her evidence laid out right before me.
"We have all noticed the changes in you over the past few months—the giddy smile that lights up your face when you read a text on your phone, the new pep in your step, and how you hurry home every time we finish a case. Do I need to say more?"
"Busted!" Garcia points a mocking finger at me. I roll my eyes in fake annoyance. After all, they are completely right.
"Okay, okay. Yeah. I'm seeing a guy. Happy?" I confess, and Garcia squeals.
"Yay! We need to know everything about him."
Oh. That's dangerous territory.
JJ notices my discomfort and tries to ease it a bit.
"Penelope, I'm sure we'll know more with time. Right?" JJ looks at me, and I nod appreciatively.
"Okay. But the basics. Is the guy good?" Emily asks. A silly smile appears on my face.
"Of course he is. He's caring, fun, always attentive-" I'm about to start a rant about how my mystery man is perfect. But Emily's snort stops me at mid-sentence.
"What?"
"Emily is asking if he is good in bed!" Penelope clarifies, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Oh, Lord. What have I got into?
"Are you really expecting me to tell you about my sex life?"
The three girls nod in unison with no shame. Well, I guess I got my answer.
"Like if you haven't done it before. And for what it is worth, we all have said something about it more than once. That's why we created girls's night in the first place," Emily points eloquently, as always.
Touchè. They are right. I have said more than I would like to admit about my sex life. But now it's not that simple. We are talking about Spencer, even if they don't know it yet.
"Then? Is he good or not?"
I contemplate my answer not because I don't know what to say but not revealing more than necessary.
"I don't think good is enough to describe sex with him. The first time we slept together was amazing. The whole night was if you know what I mean. Since then, we have taken our time, savoring the moment, giving, and receiving a new part of ourselves when we do it. So, yes, sex with him is more than good."
"But it could be better," Garcia interjects, and I look at her baffled.
"How's so? Didn't I just say the sex is great?"
The three women nod in agreement, but I think I'm missing something here.
"Don't take it the wrong way, my lovely. We are really happy you are having fun and enjoying yourself," Garcia says, patting my shoulder. "But it sounds pretty vanilla to me. And it's not bad! Not at all!"
I frown, and Emily rolls her eyes, continuing Garcia's idea.
"What Penelope tries to bring here is what we talked back then about your last partner. Remember? The one who liked tantric sex?"
Oh. Yeah. I remember that one. It's not one of my finest choices, if I have to be honest. But it wasn't the guy's fault.
"Yeah. What about him?"
"You forgot how you complained about him being basically a statue? That you wanted it rough, and the guy never got the memo?" Penelope fills in, arching an eyebrow. My cheeks are flush crimson right now.
"I can't believe we are talking about this in the office kitchen," I mumble, embarrassed. "But that was different."
Emily scoffs. "What? Did you change your kinks now? What happened with the choking, the spanking, the begging, and all those things?"
"Emily Prentiss, can you please shut up? This conversation is too much for a morning in the office," I complain, shaking my head to try to cool my red face.
"Okay, okay. I'll stop. But if you are still into it - and I'm sure you are - maybe it's a good idea to share it with your partner. Healthy sex life and all that, so it doesn't happen what it did with the tantric guy."
"Well, thank you all for your concern. But I think I'm good. Now, can we please drop the subject?"
Luckily for me, the girls listened and changed the topic. By the time we leave the kitchen, I feel less embarrassed and ready to continue my paperwork.
But the conversation kept popping into my head from time to time during the day. My sexual preferences haven't changed 180 degrees, that's true, but with Spencer, it's different. I wouldn't want to bring something like that up if it's going to make him uncomfortable. Our relationship is still fresh, and I'm happy with our current sex life.
And talking about Spencer, I haven't seen him the whole morning. By the time lunchtime arrives, he doesn't come back to his desk, so I go with the girls and Morgan.
When we come back from lunch, I finally see him at his desk, concentrating on a pile of files. A smile creeps in my face. He looks so damn good with the crocked tie, messy hair, and shirt sleeves rolled up his forearms. This man has ruined me just sitting there. I'm doomed.
"Hey," I call his attention, and he turns his head to look up at me.
"Hi," he returns a smile.
"I haven't seen you around in hours. Are you okay?"
A frown appears on his face, but he brushes it off quickly.
"Me? Oh, yeah. Fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's just Hotch that had me checking and analyzing a pile of boxes with folders from old cases in the store office. That's all."
It makes sense. Spencer's fast reading is a blessing and a curse, and obviously, people tend to use it often in the office.
"I'm sorry, sure it wasn't a very entertaining task."
A shy smile creeps on his lips, and I have to use all my self-control not to pounce on him right now and pepper his face with kisses.
"It's okay. I'm already done, anyway. How has been your morning?"
"Oh. Mostly paperwork. As everyone. But I think I'll be done soon, too." Before continuing, I check my surroundings to ensure nobody else is listening. "Maybe we can go home early?" I suggest seductively.
The flush in Spencer's cheeks is endearing. It's like the ones I sported this morning when the girls were interrogating me. And they want me to tell this boy about my kinks? No way. I won't do that if it means he won't feel comfortable with me again.
"We could. But I'm afraid plans will have to wait," Spencer says as his gaze shifts from me to Garcia and the quick tip-tap of her heels, heading to the conference room.
Fuck. A new case.
-
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. But being stuck in the middle of the desert, looking for an unsub that seems to be a ghost? And I say 'ghost' literally because we are looking for a guy who is dead for the town records. No, this is not my idea of a 'normal work day.'
It's frustrating, and not only for the lack of progress. The heat here is like hell. The AC barely works, and everyone's mood is bitchy.
We are not making any progress by now, so Hotch sends us to the hotel for the night. Once in my room, I text Spencer, not with an explicit purpose but to talk to him for a while. But he doesn't answer my texts. Is he sleeping by now? Considering he's a night owl, I found it very rare. But maybe he's drained like everyone else, so I let it slide.
In the morning, after my shower, I'm checking my phone, and I don't have any messages. Has Spencer received my texts?
I don't want to sound paranoid, but it's like something is going on. At the precinct, I barely get a hello from Spencer. Okay. Maybe it's the stress. I don't give it too much thought, either. Not when we have work to do.
And boy, we have been working hard on this one. Some clues give us hope, but we're far from catching the unsub.
In the little spare time we have between interrogations and visiting dumping sites, I try to share moments with Spencer, but it definitely seems like he doesn't want to be alone with me in the same room, even if he doesn't say it or shows signs of annoyance or animosity towards me.
I can't tell why he is so distant, but it's starting to worry me. Did I do something? And it's killing me because the more I think about it, the more I miss him. A kiss, a hug, anything from him would ease the ache I'm starting to feel.
It doesn't help that he has been choosing to wear the sexiest clothes he has in his go-bag. Those tight grey pants that accentuate his ass, those button-ups with sleeves rolled up.
We have been here for six days, and I think I'm going crazy. I have been trying to be subtle and professional. But I swear that if one more day goes by without being able to feel Spencer's touch, I don't know what I'll be able to do.
It seems heaven has listened to me because we finally managed to catch the unsub, and we're on the jet on our way home. But I'm nervous. I didn't even want to sit next to Spencer like I usually do. I don't know why. What if he wants to break up with me, and I'm just dragging things out?
What the hell am I talking about? I don't believe I'm thinking clearly here. But this week has been so odd that I don't know what to think.
Maybe when we land, I can finally talk to Spencer and put an end to my overthinking. With that in mind, I doze off for the rest of the trip.
Once the jet is down, I'm starting to gather my things when I hear Spencer rushing out, saying goodbye to everyone.
Disappointed and frustrated, I leave the tarmac.
Maybe a full night of sleep in my bed isn't a bad plan after all.
But be that as it may, fuck you, Spencer Reid.
-
As if all that had happened wasn't enough, when I got to the parking lot, my car fucking didn't start. I knew I had to get it checked before.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
That delayed my arrival home for another 45 minutes.
Now, disappointed, frustrated, and with no car, I slam the door shut. The apartment is pitch black, and I have no energy to flick the lights on, so I drag myself to the bedroom. When I open the door, a yelp escapes my mouth when I see a silhouette of a man sitting in the chair I have in one corner.
I'm about to reach for my gun when the bedside lamp flicks on, and the scare turns to confusion when I see Spencer sitting there.
"What the fuck!"
"Hi," he says as if he hadn't almost scared me to death two seconds ago.
"Spencer! What are you doing here?" My voice sounds harsher than I intended, but Spencer brushes it off quickly.
"Waiting for you," he says matter-of-factly.
I'm officially confused. We were together an hour ago? He left without saying anything.
"I don't understand. The way you left the jet in such a hurry, I thought I was the last person you wanted to be with."
My words come out resentful, but I can't help it. Spencer's eyes soften. I averted his gaze as I dropped my go-bag, unholst my gun to set it on the safe, and sat at the end of the bed to remove my boots.
"Hey, don't say that. Of course, I want to be with you," Spencer says, standing from the seat and kneeling to help me remove my boots.
"I'm sorry, but it didn't show that way. You avoided me all week!"
Great, now I sound like I'm making a tantrum.
From his place where he knelt on the floor, his eyes met mine, and I don't know why suddenly I felt a shudder running down my spine.
"Sweetheart, you know we were working, weren't we?"
That condescending tone escaping Spencer's lips? It is something unexpected. But why does it make me kind of nervous? It's a type of nervousness that gives me butterflies in my stomach.
"I know! But- but then in the jet. And you left."
Why am I babbling? Since when did Spencer have looked at me with those piercing eyes?
He stands and offers me a hand to help me to do the same.
"Is my girl upset?" He asks when we are both upright.
'My girl'? That's new. Spencer always calls me by my name, a short version of it, or beautiful, or sweetheart. But thinking about it, 'my girl' doesn't sound bad at all.
"No! I'm not-"
"Oh yes, you are. Look, I wanted to prepare a surprise for you tonight, so I left in a hurry. I was thinking about a bubble bath, dinner, wine, and a movie. I even had the table done with candles ready to lit," he says nonchalantly, and I feel silly for thinking the worst scenarios all week.
"Oh," is the only thing escaping my lips.
"But now, thinking about it, maybe you don't deserve it. Not if you're questioning me like this," Spencer shakes his head in fake - I hope - disappointment.
Okay. Stop right there. What the hell is going on here? Why is Spencer talking like that? About me as 'not deserving' something? What's next? That I'm a naughty girl? - Uhm, I wonder how it could be hearing those words from his lips.-
"What? Why I-"
"Come here," he requests as now he is the one who sits at the edge of the bed and pats the spot in his lap. It doesn't sound too commanding, but sure as hell, I don't need anything more to comply. I need to know where this is heading.
As I'm at Spencer's reach, he pulls me by my wrist to land on his lap while his other hand cradles my face.
"Tell me, uh? Why are you upset?"
His voice drips like honey, and I start to feel hot here.
"I- I don't know. I just missed you, I guess."
"You guess?" He arches a questioning eyebrow.
"Yes. I mean, I do know. I have missed you," I confess, defeated. Oh yeah, now I'm the needy one.
"It helps if I say I have missed you, too?" he says, caressing my cheek tenderly with his knuckles. "I have seen you tense all week; that's why I thought I could do something special for you tonight."
I close my eyes, and for the first time tonight, I let myself enjoy Spencer's embrace.
I exhale a heavy breath as I get lost in his arms.
When I open my eyes, Spencer's are fixed on mine. But his look is not as sweet or reverent as it usually is when we are like this. No, this one is dark and raw. His pupils are fully dilated, and I feel like the breath leaves my lungs.
"Spencer-" I barely mumble.
"I know," he whispers, moving one hand to cradle my neck and bring my lips to his.
Oh God, what I have been craving for days is finally happening, and I can't stress enough how happy I am.
The kiss starts slow and sensual. But not far from that, it gets needy and messy, charged with all the pent-up emotions from the past days. If I had any doubt about Spencer's distance in the last week, this kiss quickly eased my anxiety.
My fingers go to undo the buttons of his button-up, but Spencer stops me with one of his hands, grabbing both of my wrists.
Why didn't I notice before how big and strong his hands are compared to mine? I mean, I always admired his long and deftly fingers, but this? Wow. It's new territory.
"But I want to touch you," I pout when he keeps hold of my wrists in his hand. The cocky bastard raises an eyebrow, contemplating my request.
"You will have to be patient this time and earn it, darling," he says casually, and as my eyes go wide, my jaw goes slack. These words have never come out of Spencer's mouth before. But why am I suddenly starting to feel hotter and more worked up? I blame it on sex abstinence.
"Please, I have missed you so much," I insist, trying to escape his grip to get what I want: undress him. But he doesn't budge, tsking his tongue.
"I already told you. You need to earn it. To my knowledge, only good girls get what they want, and I don't think I'm wrong, do I?"
Jesus Christ! I had never heard Spencer say 'good girl' before, and I'm sure now I'll be addicted to hearing it every chance I get.
"Spencer, please. I'll do anything. I promise. I want to be a good girl. I want to be your good girl."
Spencer's smirk tells me he likes my response, and I'm not at any ounce ashamed of sounding desperate.
He maneuvers me so that I am now on my back on the mattress. I watch his every move intently, and I get lost in his gaze, which screams lust and desire.
He kneels between my spread legs, staring at me intently as his hands move to the edges of my blouse. Just when I think he's going to work on unbuttoning it, he grabs it and rips it open.
A yelp escapes my lips at the raw sound and the view of buttons flying. Spencer doesn't seem fazed by his display of caveman style. And me? I won't mind if he rips all my clothes right now. His hands go to caress my breasts over the fabric of my bra. And then pull it down to free the skin. The cool air quickly stiffens my nipples.
Spencer leans down to suck one of them, twirling the other one with his fingers. A moan escapes my lips at the pleasure his touch is giving me.
"You like that, uh?" he mumbles, still with his mouth sucking and lapping.
"Yes!" I say, as my hands fly to his hair so I can ground myself in something.
After giving enough attention to both of my nipples, he helps me to get rid of the fabric of the ruined blouse and my bra. Now his mouth is sucking a hickey under my jaw, and I feel like I can faint of how aroused I am. One of his hands goes south and stills at the button of my work pants. His breath is hot in my ear.
"I'm going to take care of you. If I do something you don't like, just say it, okay?"
That's a sliver of the Spencer I know, and I can't even think of something this man can do to me that I wouldn't like.
"Okay," I manage to blurt when his fingers work on my pants, leaving me clad only in my panties in a matter of seconds.
Under his intense gaze, I feel exposed, but I also feel safe. There is no place where I would rather be right now.
"You're gorgeous. You know that?" Spencer says, trailing feather touches on my skin aflame with desire. "You don't know what you do to me, do you? I barely can control myself," he continues his praises, thumbs toying with the waistband of my panties.
I'm about to combust.
"Spencer, please."
"What is it, my girl?" he asks, kissing my neck as his fingers slide down my legs, removing the soaked fabric that used to cover my most intimate part.
"I - I need more."
"Are you already desperate for me?"
I can feel how his fingers trace soft patterns in the skin between my thighs, explicitly avoiding the spot where I need him the most.
"Yes! I am. I - I can't-"
I don't even care if I sound coherent at this point. I'm already so turned on and desperate that I can't be bothered by my lack of speech. Spencer still doesn't budge, though.
"I know you want to beg. And I know you can do better than that."
Oh God. I don't know how Spencer's words manage to make me more aroused, but they do.
"I need you," I croak, eyes pleading him to take me. I can feel his fingers ghosting my throbbing clit.
"I need you, sir. Please. You can use me whatever you want, but please, touch me!"
What the fuck? I just called Spencer' sir' and offered my body explicitly to him to use. And the bastard doesn't even flinch? Who is this guy in full control, and who am I acting like a pathetic submissive?
I don't have the answers, but honestly, I don't care. Did he want me to beg? If this isn't begging, I don't know what it is.
"I know you do, baby. Do you think I didn't notice how needy you have been all week? How have you tried to get my attention all these days?" Spencer's voice drops almost two octaves as his finger finally starts rubbing circles on my clit.
Just feeling his touch makes me whimper pathetically.
His lips ghost in my ear, and I can feel his breath heating the spot before his teeth nibble my earlobe.
A mewl leaves my mouth, and if I wasn't soaked before - which I was - now I'm dripping.
"Tell me, this is what you wanted?" His voice is commanding but feels like honey leaking on my body.
"Yes! Please, don't stop."
His movements are deliberate and precise, and when he buries a finger into my core, I can feel the coil in the pit of my lower belly beginning to form. My moans increase in number and volume.
"So needy, my sweet girl. Like that? That's how you want me to touch you?" Spencer coo as he watches me tremble under his touch, adding a new finger to fuck me.
His ministrations continue, but his free hand moves slowly from my cheek down to my neck, caressing the exposed skin with his thumb.
"Or maybe you want me to touch you like this?"
A mewl escapes my lips when he poses his open palm over my throat, not squeezing but seizing how much of my neck he would be able to cover with his huge hand.
"Yes! Please, do it. Please Spencer," I babble, feeling my orgasm closer and closer. And he complies. Applying the minimal pressure in my throat is enough to highlight all of my senses. That, plus the way his ring and middle finger pound in and out of me and his thumb toy with my clit at the same time, sends me to the edge.
"Spencer!" I scream as my climax washes over me.
I don't remember having an orgasm like this in a long time. My vision blurs and I feel like I'm floating on a cloud of pleasure that I don't want to come down from. I can hear Spencer's encouraging words in the distance as he helps me ride my orgasm.
"That's it, my girl. You did so good for me. See how good I can make you feel?"
With hooded eyes, I see Spencer sucking clean the fingers that were fucking me seconds ago.
"You taste amazing. I'll never get tired of it," Spencer says, with a satisfied grin on his face.
Still dizzy, I gesture for him to come closer. When he does, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for the most passionate kiss my current post-orgasmic state will allow. I can taste myself on his tongue, and it is like my sex drive reminds me I want more. I need more.
"Please, fuck me," I mumble between kisses, and I can feel the smirk forming on his lips.
"I just did that," he states when we part from the kiss. "Are you being ungrateful?" Is he joking? I hope he does, but I won't take the chance of not having his dick in me tonight.
"No, baby. I'm thankful for the way you have touched me tonight, but I want you to feel good, too."
Spencer looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Is that so? Are you willing to do what I want to make me feel good? It's not only for your benefict?"
"Yes! Whatever you want. I'm yours. Take me the way you want to do it. Whatever you want to give me."
I don't know at what moment I became this kind of submissive, but if I have to beg again to have Spencer inside me, I will do it without complaining. And considering he's still fully clothed, I don't know what kind of plan he has right now.
"On your elbows and knees."
It's simple, and the moment the words leave his mouth, I move quickly to obey.
Unfortunately, from this position, I can't see Spencer, but I can hear him undressing. When I listen to him undoing his belt buckle, I have to do everything in my power not to rub my thighs together in search of some friction. And Spencer notices.
"I can bet you're dripping again. Don't you?"
The anticipation is killing me. When I feel the mattress dip with Spencer's weight, I can't stop the mewl that leaves my lips. It doesn't help when he presses his body to mine, and I can feel his hard cock pressing my ass.
"Can you feel what you do to me? I want to fuck you so bad. I want to ruin this pussy." Spencer's voice is husky and low, almost predatory, and I can't wait to feel him.
While we've used dirty talk before, I think this is the first time I can feel it coming naturally from Spencer. I'm usually the one with the filthy mouth.
When I feel his tip teasing my entrance, I instinctively push my ass back, gaining a laugh from Spencer.
"Be patient, once inside there is no coming back." Before I can say anything in reply, I feel him push his cock between my folds, and the stretching is painfully delicious.
"Oh, fuck!" I yelp as I hear Spencer hissing when he bottoms it out. He is still there, grabbing my hips to keep me from moving.
"So warm. So tight. Made for me," he mumbles, leaning to kiss my shoulder blades.
"Just for you, it was made for you," I agree, in a new state of pleasure and urging him to move. Spencer pulls back almost completely, only to thrust hard again, setting a slow but deep pace.
"That's my girl, taking everything I give her. You wanted this, didn't you? I know you do. Fuck! So good for me."
Another thing I'm not used to is Spencer being a talker during sex. I mean, yeah, he's very vocal, moaning, whining, cursing, and so am I, but his words are now taking me there faster than I expected.
"Spencer, yes! Don't stop, please!"
"I won't, baby, I won't. Not when this pussy tighen me like this."
His pace quickens, and in the room, you can only hear the sinful sounds of skin hitting skin, our moans, and the dirty words escaping Spencer's mouth.
"Spencer, please, harder," I beg to him. I don't know why, but I want to go to my limit, and I trust Spencer. I need it. He's quick to deliver, and with every thrust, I'm entering into a new space of ecstasy.
He is pounding me harder, and my broken moans are testimony to the brutal pace he leads. I can feel him hitting in all the right places.
"Like that?" He asks, panting in my ear.
"Y-yes."
"I can't hear you, darling," the bastard demands, not faltering his thrusts.
"Yes! Fuck, yes! Like that! Oh, fuck-"
My voice cracks when I feel a sharp smack in my ass.
And I can't stress enough how good it feels and how it helps the ball forming in my lower belly to grow.
"What a sight. You should see how my fingers are red imprinted on your skin," Spencer says, amazed with his doing, not ever slowing his thrusts, and I can feel closer to a new earth-shattering orgasm.
"We need to even the score, right baby?" I can't even catch what he's talking about when I feel a new smack in my other ass-cheek. And then I lose it. I'm teetering to my end, and I need Spencer to fall with me.
"Spencer, I'm so close. Please, I need-"
"Are you going to come? That's what you're trying to tell me?"
"Yes! I need to cum, please-"
"I'm right there with you, my girl. Come on, cum on my cock. Show me how you fall apart because of me."
And I did. My orgasm crashes me like a freight train, screaming Spencer's name once and again until my throat goes dry. He keeps his pace, chasing his own end, and after three deep thrusts, he stills, and I feel him spilling inside of me, grunting as he does so. The feeling almost makes me cum again.
We stay in that position for a few moments, him inside me and trying to catch our breath. I feel like I'm out of this world, savoring the post-orgasmic euphoria of the best sex of my life.
Spencer pulls out, and I hiss at the loss of him. Carefully, he helps me turn over and lie down to rest my back on the mattress. I close my eyes, regulating my breathing, content and completely satisfied.
"Are you okay?" Spencer asks me, but I'm still lost in the haze of pleasure. I can barely acknowledge the moment he goes to the bathroom to bring a warm cloth to clean me up.
"Uh? Yeah. Amazing." My words escape before I can process them, but I'm not lying. And I can feel the tons of endorphins running in my brain right now.
"Are you sure?" Spencer checks again. And because I'm more alert now, I can see his worried eyes.
A tired smile forms on my lips as I turn to the side and bring a hand to his cheek.
This man just has fucked me senseless, and now he sees me with those panicked eyes as if he had broken me. And maybe he did, but in the best way possible.
"I'm fine, Spencer. I'm more than fine, actually. That was something else," I confess, caressing his jaw. He lets out a breath of relief, and his cheeks turn a shade of pink.
"So you liked it?"
"Liked it? Did you just forget how I was screaming your name just minutes ago?" A satisfied chuckle escapes Spencer's lips. "But I need to know something," I prompt, propping myself on one elbow to have a better view of Spencer's face.
"What is it?"
"Where did this idea come from? It's not like you woke up one day and said, 'Next time, I'm going to choke her and spank her,' right?"
"Well, yeah. It wasn't that kind of spontaneous idea, even though I have thought about it before," Spencer looks at me sheepishly.
"Yeah? Well, then?"
"I heard you. Talking with the girls the other day at the BAU's kitchen." I narrow my eyes, trying to pinpoint the exact moment, and when recognition washes over me, my entire face flushes.
"Oh, God."
"I know I did wrong. It wasn't a conversation for me to hear, but you were talking about your mystery man, and I - I don't know, curiosity got the best of me."
Spencer looks apologetic, and I feel kind of embarrassed right now. It's funny for two people that minutes ago were fucking like there is no tomorrow.
"Don't apologize. It's my fault for spilling those kind of things in the office kitchen." Wait a minute. "From what part you heard?" Spencer purses his lips in thought.
"The part when you admitted seeing someone."
"So you heard when I said I was happy with our sex life, right?" He nods. "Why did you feel compelled to try something different, then? I'm not complaining at all, but I don't want you to feel obligated to do something because of me."
Spencer shakes his head. "I don't feel obligated. I wanted to. But can I ask why you didn't tell me what you liked before?"
That's a valid question, and I don't want to make him feel like I don't trust him because it is not like that.
"It's just- I mean, I love what we have. And I'm falling for you even more each day. I don't want to lose that, and I thought maybe I would have made you uncomfortable saying those things. I didn't want that."
Spencer's eyes glisten with warm understanding. How could I have doubted that he would comprehend? One of his hands goes to push back a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"I love what we have, too. And you won't lose this or me if you share those things with me. I know I'm not the best example of a sharing person, but I'm learning to do that with you. And I want you to be happy and satisfied in this relationship."
"I really am. Seriously!" I quickly reply. God forbid Spencer from thinking I'm not happy and satisfied because it's far from the truth.
"And I'm happy to hear that. But there is no harm in experiencing new things, right?" He says, caressing my cheek.
"You really mean it?" Spencer nods and chuckles.
"It's not an altruistic offer, you know? I pretty much enjoyed what we did tonight." Only remembering what we did minutes ago brings a wide grin to my face.
"Sure you did. Okay. We can keep trying things. One condition, though."
"Name it," Spencer states, opening his arm for me to scoot closer to his side, which I happily do.
"I want you to choose the next kink to explore," I request, glancing up at him to gauge his reaction.
With narrowed eyes, Spencer is contemplating his answer. After a few seconds, his lips turn into a mischievous smirk, and he looks back at me.
"Have you heard about temperature play?" he asks, and I immediately bit my lower lip in excitement.
What can I say? This man is full of surprises, and I'm the lucky one who will experience all of them. I can't wait.
------------------
Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers
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kikidoul · 1 day ago
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── STRESS RELIEF.
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໒꒰ྀི ^ ⸝⸝ ^ ꒱ྀིა박성훈 x fem! reader content established relationship non-idol au college/university au ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content unprotected sex (stay safe!) petnames used kissing pussy eating fingering begging sunghoon being a tease and wear glasses (need this man so bad). . .!? 1445 — mlist.
note. this is just a reupload because i'm proud of this fic hehe and i believe in glasses sunghoon supremacy.
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Ever since you stumbled upon your boyfriend wearing a pair of thinly-framed glasses, you couldn’t get the sight out of your mind. As far as you were aware, it has been three weeks and it was still imprinted in your head, not having any intention of leaving you alone. You groaned, running a hand through your hair in a poor attempt of calming yourself but it was futile. The words reflected on the screen of your laptop don't make sense anymore, not when you’ve been on the same page for the past hour.
“(Name), darling, you need to take a break.” 
You looked up to see Sunghoon had entered your room. He was dressed comfortably; a white long-sleeved shirt with a pair of black sweatpants. And of course, he was wearing glasses that perfectly rested on the bridge of his nose. The sight of the accessory was enough to make you gulped. He chuckled at your silence and how you were shamelessly ogling him. He steps closer, stopping until he is before you. 
“What’s in your mind, pretty girl?” He asks, reaching out to gently cup your face with his hands. Your eyelids fluttered shut at the contact and you couldn’t help but leaned into his touch, shoulders sagging slightly. 
“Nothing, I’m just stressed,” you replied, savoring the way Sunghoon caressed your face with his thumbs. 
“Poor thing, do you want me to help?” He asks. 
You shook your head. “No, I can manage—” 
“Oh, I’m not talking about your work,” he interrupts, mischief seeping into his voice. You gulped when you recognized the familiar glint in his eyes and that was the only warning you got. 
Your lips were captured in a fiery kiss and you gasped, feeling yourself being pushed back until your back was uncomfortably digging into the edge of the table. Sunghoon had to lean down to kiss you, making him strain his back but he didn’t care. Nothing is important when it comes to pleasuring you. Without breaking the kiss, Sunghoon carried you in his arms, moving you to the bed where he gently laid you down on the mattress. The feeling of being in your boyfriend’s arms made you feel safe and protected; a feeling you had came to cherish. 
You made a noise of protest when he pulled away. You raised your head, desperate for his lips but Sunghoon moved, leaning his head back. 
“Hoonie, why?” You whined. 
He coos, leaning in to press a kiss on your forehead. “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m helping you to relieve your stress. So just sit back and let me do the work, alright?” 
Huffing, you obeyed and moved to lay in a comfortable position. You watched with bated breath as Sunghoon shifted down, spreading your legs apart. He easily pulled down the pair of shorts you were wearing, tossing them to the floor, leaving you in your panties. Your ears turned red when you realized you were soaked. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon, who arched an eyebrow. 
“Did you get turned on just from kissing? Or is it something else?” He grins knowingly, fingers tracing the hem of your panties before he slid it down, leaving you completely bare underneath him. No matter how many times you’ve done this, he couldn’t get enough of how stunning you looked. 
“I don’t know what you’re implying,” you replied, your face turning as red as a tomato with how he maintained eye contact, with the glasses still on as he teasingly ran his fingers along your clit, collecting your essence. 
“Really? But I’ve a feeling you know perfectly well what I’m talking about,” he hums, wasting no time in sliding two fingers in, groaning at the delirious feeling of your tight, warm walls instantly clenching down on the sudden intrusion. 
“Sunghoon—” You moaned, one hand gripping onto the sheets while the other gripped onto the pillow for dear life. You attempted to rock your hips against his fingers but he held you down, restricting you from moving. 
“P-Please, don’t tease,” you whimpered, looking at your boyfriend with half-lidded eyes. 
Being the tease he is, Sunghoon smirks. It was unfair with how attractive he looked at that moment. “Please what, baby?” 
“Please touch me,” you pleaded, and the smirk stretched wider. 
“But I am touching you. You need to be more specific,” he replied, moving his fingers in a scissor-like motion as he slowly open you, preparing you for what’s to come. Sunghoon wasted no time in finding your weak spot and he ruthlessly abused it, reducing you to a moaning and squirming mess. 
“N-No, want your mouth on me—fuck!” You gasped, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head when Sunghoon leaned down, running his tongue along your folds, followed by kitten licks. You let out a high-pitched moan at the double penetration; fingers and tongue. It was too much for you to handle and you could feel the familiar tightening of your stomach, a sign you were about to reach your climax, and then—
“What the fuck?” You raised your head, shooting your boyfriend the meanest glare you could muster. 
Sunghoon laughs, amused with your reaction. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you and you won’t be looking at me like that anymore.” 
He wasted no time in shredding his clothes, shifting to his knees as he still remained in between your legs. You tightened your grip on the pillow, biting down on your bottom lip at the familiar feeling of him pushing himself into you. You whined, getting drunk on the feeling of being split apart despite how you’ve had sex multiple times. When he was completely in, Sunghoon started at a languid pace, although he changed his mind when he heard the melodic sounds dripping from your lips. 
Blood rushed to your face as the bed rocked along with your movement. The room was filled with the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin. You were sure your neighbours will file a noise complaint tomorrow but that was the least of your concerns now. You arch your back off the bed when Sunghoon’s lips latched onto your neck, leaving butterfly kisses and hickeys behind. 
“Fuck, how are you always so tight?” He groans, lips grazing against your neck as he feels the way your walls spasm and contract at every rock of his hips. You whined at the cold frames of his glasses touching your warm skin.
“Hoonie, please, please,” you begged. 
“What does my pretty girl want?” He asks, moving his head away so he could admire your face. 
“G-Gonna cum, please,” you sobbed, hoping he would show some mercy. 
“Is that so? Could you keep your eyes on me when you cum, sweetheart?” He asks, and you eagerly nodded; wanting to please your boyfriend. 
It took your remaining strength to keep your eyes open. You pulled him down to kiss him, your tongues meeting in a passionate dance that only lovers would know. You panted against his lips as you reached your climax and Sunghoon was quick to follow suit. Both of you groaned at the feeling of him releasing in you. You laid in a pool of your sweat and other body fluids while your boyfriend slowly pulled out of you, eliciting a hiss at the sudden empty feeling. 
He got off the bed, heading to the bathroom to grab some clean towels to wipe you and him off. You were pliant, too exhausted to move an inch as Sunghoon cleaned you off. When he was done, he threw the now dirtied towels into the laundry basket with great accuracy. He grabbed a new set of clothes—his clothes, to be exact and assisted you in putting them on. Sunghoon had to move you away from the bed to get rid of the sheets, much to your annoyance but you knew he was doing this so he wouldn’t get scolded by you tomorrow morning. 
Once he was done replacing the sheets and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, both of you were finally able to cuddle together. You rested your head on his chest while Sunghoon drew circles on your arms. 
“By the way, I know you find it attractive whenever I wear glasses,” he commented. 
Your closed eyes snapped open as you turned to him at lightning speed. “What?” 
Sunghoon laughs, poking your nose. “What? Did you think I wouldn’t notice how often you kept staring at me? You’re not being subtle, especially with the way you stare at me.” 
“And how do I stare at you?” 
He grins, pulling you closer so he could kiss your lips. “Like you want me to fuck you.” 
“Sunghoon!”
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thesensteawitch · 3 days ago
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The High Priestess Wants You To Know This
(Pile 1→ Pile 2→ Pile 3)
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Hello beautiful souls!
This is a collective reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
If you wish to book a reading with me then checkout my:
Rate Card • Booking Form
Ps: You can also DM me in case of any queries. 🌈💛
Sending you love and light ✨🕯️
*******
Here is your reading!
Pile 1
Tarot Cards- Temperance, Two of Cups, Six of Wands, King of Swords, Nine of Swords, The Emperor.
The High Priestess wants you to know that people around you see your efforts and are grateful for your generosity. But what you skip to notice is that you do so much mental and physical work that you forget to relax. You are very patient with the results of your work, but your feminine side needs to be activated now. You can activate it by resting and eating well. Try slow dancing or yoga. Sagittarius, Libra, Cancer, and Leo can be significant. If you're a feminine reading this, then the high priestess wants you to know that you've been very patient when it comes to finding the one. You've never had a masculine support, due to which you sometimes overexert yourself by tapping too much into your masculinity. But I do hear that God is your masculine. While shuffling the deck, I saw in my third eye, “Luck is on your side”—New Moon in Sagittarius, and guess what? The exact card flipped out of the deck! What are the odds? You're divinely protected. Balance will be restored in any situation where masculines have hurt you or you couldn't rely on them. You'll receive the love of your life; just avoid falling into the trap of past people/manipulators. Remember your lessons because the high priestess is warning you that someone from the past may show up again or old wounds of masculinity may come up again. It's going to be a test, so make sure you act according to the lessons you've been made to learn. If you doubt yourself or are afraid that maybe you're the one who is wrong, then that's not true. I see stubborn, too-logical, and aggressive masculine energy around you. I do feel that you have even adopted these qualities or have absorbed these energies unknowingly as you were only focused on surviving. You can let that go now. You've come a long way. Please remember your strength. You're stronger and wiser than you give yourself credit for. This is the last battle with your survival self. Thank it for how it has supported you till now, but don't let it win. You don't need to worry about a thing, so just stay calm. You'll win in LOVE. You'll have that one person who gets you like no one. You've been wronged, so stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. You deserve someone who sees your soul, not someone who falls for superficiality. You've been around people who were full of themselves, and that is why their energies kept lingering around you, forcing you to think about THEM! You may have felt guilty or pressured or doubt your own actions. You may even have ended up gaslighting yourself. I really don't like this energy around you. The High Priestess wants you to consciously focus on yourself and bring your energy back to yourself. Your focus should only be on you. That's all. That's it.
Pile 2
Tarot Cards- Death, Two of Wands, Two of Pentacles, King of Cups, Four of Swords
The High Priestess wants you to know that you cannot avoid the change that is meant to happen. You can delay it but cannot deny it. You still think you've another option or another way while you're on the boat to a different reality. You cannot keep asking the questions regarding a closed door. It won't open. Accept where you are. Just let go of the past. You cannot go back for one last look. Wake up and deal with your emotions. For a while you do not need to do so much. Just take care of your inner world. You may be having weird dreams lately. Your dreams are pointing towards the new reality you're meant to enter. It's a way of your brain to help you release the past. You may even be having dreams about someone who has a lot to say to you, but they cannot decide or make a move. This person may also be confused. Someone here needs to step out of their comfort zone, and the comfort zone is avoiding making the necessary decision. You may be moving back and forth wondering what to do and what not to do. Just don't do what you've been doing all along. Maybe you need to take action toward someone or something, but you're so afraid to take it that now that thing/person is appearing in your dream. Some of you may be afraid to follow your purpose, as it may be the first time you're being given a chance to do what you want to do or what you feel called to do. But the wounds are stopping you or making you guess. The cards ask you to focus on healing yourself and prepare yourself for your purpose/calling. What you've left behind may have been good for a while, but for your further journey, it couldn't assist you. Accept the truth; accept the reality. Don't keep reopening the closed doors; don't make the same choices every day wishing your reality to change.
Pile 3
Tarot Cards- 6 of Cups, 10 of Cups, 7 of Swords, 4 of Cups, The High Priestess
Someone's waiting for you and your message. There's an age gap here, and they are manifesting you consciously or unconsciously. The High Priestess is being very clear about what's happening behind the scenes. Someone's sabotaged their friendship/connection with you. Someone may even drunk text you. What? Someone thinks about you a lot and the way they lied to you or behaved as if they didn't care. The truth is you overwhelm someone. They don't know how to behave in front of you. This can be a past life connection. This can be a secret admirer. They have a lot to say to you. This person can have strong earth sign placements. If there's anything missing in their life, then it's you. I also see that money matters to them a lot, and they are also very stubborn. You have multiple admirers! I feel divine is protecting you from someone so that you can meet the person you're meant to be with. Communication will come your way while you're working or doing your own thing. You and your future person are going to be on the same frequency. You'll be a perfect match. Okay, this stubborn person may even think that you're not receiving enough compared to the efforts you put into your work. This person is very materialistic, and they think they are the king, but in reality they are a page (naive). There's something very mysterious about this person. This stubborn person has never shown you their true side and their goals or about their financial situation. I confirmed with the cards who you're meant to be with, so you're not supposed to give this stubborn person a chance because there's manipulation or sabotage here. What you offer isn't enough for them, and they are always going to see you from their distorted lens. It's another person that the universe wants you to meet and be with. You'll meet them soon. If you were drawn to pile 1, then do check it out (I feel a connection). The stubborn person has made you cry oceans! You're about to receive whatever you expected this stubborn person to be for you or give you. You'll be receiving more than you have asked for because of how kind you've been to the old person. I also heard that the stubborn person's kindness was also calculated. I don't know; this person needs to do some healing. They may even be taking tarot readings on your connection. You, on the other hand, can look forward to a new journey in love and life. The cards are sooo clear in the end! They say it's time to release negativity, and nothing will come of this situation (no matter how much you try to make it work with the stubborn one). At the bottom it says, “A new romantic cycle begins!” Yayyy!
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miange1 · 3 days ago
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Dexter, Angel, Brian, and James with someone who has a baby face w/ a deep voice
head cannons, male reader, reader has high moans, brian is a freak, doaks is secretly a freak, being way too curious with someone, they don't realize it's cause they're turned on and have a thing for you, spanish speaking reader on angel, kinda based off me, reader can be shorter or taller i really don't care
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— didn't expect that out of you, by any means. you were the person who had called him to the crime scene, and since he had never really met you, he didn't expect to see that you're the one behind the call.
"There any blood?"
He meant to speak to angel, yet you answered right behind him and scaring the hell out of him.
"It's over here." He caught himself looking around, that couldn't have come from you? Could it? You had the face someone would steal a lollipop from.
"Uh..yeah, lead the way." He was so fixated on your face. Big, doe eyes your pretty soft lips parting at every 'ah..' of understandment. His mouth went dry even looking at you, why hadn't he noticed you before?
— When the two of you got together, it was very clear he had a thing for your voice. Especially whilst having sex, and he surely didn't expect your moans to be so high? Guess something made up for that pretty face of yours.
— Each time he was inside, he loved the way low groans turned into such needy and whiny moans for him. It turned him on when you talked him through, slow sex had him crumbing to you.
"Fuck..Dexter.." He thrusted inside slowly, taking in every single 'yes' and 'so good' Dexter himself wasn't at all a quiet person in bed, grunting and groaning along with you letting your own voices mix. He was so damn lucky.
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— Yeah, you creeped him the fuck out.
— He wasn't one to care on people's voices, but damn did you get surgery or something? He might have called you 'kid' or something if you didn't sound like death crawling from hell itself.
— He was told to go to you for some sort of files, finding you at your desk.
"You the one I'm looking for? I need those files." He couldn't lie, his heart almost melted at the way you looked up at him. Was his voice too rough? Did he hurt your feelings? Damn.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Holy fuck.. nevermind.
— He made a rule for you not to sneak up behind him and to randomly start speaking. Scared the shit out of him when you did that.
"Right, Morgan said the victim had put up a fight before she was hit in the head, and—"
"What happened?"
"Oh my God— never again! Never do that again."
"Hm? What did I do?"
— He weirdly liked your face. Well, the cheeks of your face. If you did something dumb you would feel his fingers harshly punch at the soft skin of them. It was cute, he wouldn't lie about that. Your face stretching out as you whined for him to let go. It made his day, it really did.
— Now sex on the other hand, he would never reveal that to anyone. He was a professional, but on his own he would think of it from time to time. The way you would moan out his name, making that voice of yours crumble just from slipping the tip inside of you. His head would be on your shoulder, his own voice soft and talking you through it. He did that on purpose, so his ear would be close to your mouth. He desperately needed to hear it.
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(he's so glorious i love him.)
— Debra was having another situation in which a witness couldn't speak English well, or understand it too much and he had been busy with someone else. So they called you over instead.
"Entiendo señora, haremos lo mejor que podamos pero por favor debe calmarse." Damn. He got distracted, drowning out the voice of who he was supposed to be listening to. Watching your face go into a look of understanding as the woman in the front of you hyperventilated, your voice so deep yet so calming as you rubbed her back and soothed her the best you could.
— He loved when you spoke spanish, whether it be small curses, or exclaims of excitement. He loved it all. But when you were speaking to him, he went all still. He could admire your voice from afar, yet right in front of him? No, absolutely not.
"Morning Angel," He froze up, snapping out of it quickly so he could at least muster up something back. "Yeah.." Yeah. Yeah? Was that the best he could do, jesus..
— Never had he expected to get with you. Let alone be able to fuck you. He was nervous at first. What was he supposed to do? He knew what to do, but he didn't at the same time. It was mostly a matter of being nervous rather than you being the first guy he's done it with.
"This feel good?" Paying attention to every single sound or movement you made, looking at you as if you were the light of his life. Your little 'Mhm' as he held your body close, going inside slowly and letting his hands squeeze at your hips and waist, soothing them.
"Oh, Angel.." Your accent made him shiver, his eyes fluttering shut and rolling back the more he thrusted inside. "Perfect.." He muttered, kissing your skin softly. "So perfect."
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— Overtime, he would develop a weird liking to your throat. Everytime you spoke, he'd pay attention to your Adams apple and watching it bob as you spoke. He just wanted to choke you.
— Though first hearing you, he didn't know whether or not to be surprised or turned on. He found you weirdly unique, obsessed with your voice and always gave you reasons to talk. He would learn about your interest, just to make you talk even more.
"Oh, and my favorite actor had played in this movie and I feel as if.." and blah, blah, blah..
"Mhm..yeah,"
— He was listening, he swore it! And if he wasn't listening he had gotten some sort of recorder, just so he make use of it later on.
His cock leaked the more he moved his hand up and down. Trying to force himself to be quiet enough so that he could hear your voice clearly.
"Fuck.." Imagining you riding him, moaning like you depended on riding him and like you absolutely needed him. Voice wavering to whimpers and high moans— hell, he needed that so badly.
— Next day, he'd face you like nothing happened. Greeting you with a smile as you walked through the station.
"Morning Rudy!"
"Morning.."
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itsnesss · 1 day ago
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𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | lee myung-gi (player 333) × fem!reader
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summary | the night before entering the squid game, Myung-gi shares a passionate evening with his girlfriend, hiding the truth about his impending departure
warnings | angst, smut, explicit content, p in v, implied abandonment
word count | 1.2 k
author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me thanks ᡣ𐭩
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You are sitting on the bed, watching Myung-gi as he takes off his jacket and carefully places it on the back of the chair. He has that serious expression that has been accompanying him lately, as if he were carrying an invisible weight that he doesn't dare to share with you.
"Are you okay?" you ask, breaking the silence.
He pauses for a moment, as if considering lying to you, but finally nods.
"Yes. Just... I've been thinking about a lot of things".
"Like what?" you insist, searching for his gaze.
He approaches the bed and sits down beside you. His fingers brush against yours, and his touch makes you forget, even if just for a second, the worry that has been growing in your chest.
"In us. In what I want for you, for me".
You frown, feeling how vague words only feed your doubts.
"Why do you speak as if it were a farewell?"
"It's not". Her voice trembles slightly, and for the first time, you see a glimmer of something in her eyes: fear. He leans towards you, taking your face in his hands with a gentleness that contrasts with the intensity of his gaze.
"I just want you to know how much I love you.
You don't respond. Instead, you close your eyes when his lips meet yours, warm and urgent, as if he were trying to imprint this moment in his memory. His kiss is different this time, full of a passion that disarms you and a sadness you don't quite understand.
When his lips leave yours, you barely have time to breathe before he comes back for you, this time with more fervor. You lie back on the bed, feeling his hands glide over your body, each caress laden with a desire that seems intent on erasing any distance between you.
"I need you," he murmurs against your neck, his voice hoarse, vulnerable.
Your hands roam his back, clinging to him as if you feared he would vanish at any moment.
"I'm always here for you," you reply, not knowing that those words will be the ones he repeats to himself over and over in the days to come. You unbutton your blouse and take off his shirt, savoring the sensation of his skin against yours. You bring his lips to your chest, and he kisses them with an uncontrollable passion that makes you arch your back in search of more.
"I want to see you," you murmur, not caring if it sounds like a request, as if touch and passion weren't enough.
He looks up at you with a restrained smile.
"What do you want to see?".
"Everything. Everything about you." You look at him intently, noticing how his pupils dilate as he understands your words.
He nods, a brief gesture that does not hide the surprise in his eyes. His hands approach your skirt, and slowly and deliberately, he begins to move his hands up your thighs. Your fingers grip the sheets, trying to hold your breath as his fingers brush the edge of your underwear.
"Is this what you want?"
"No" you say, without breaking eye contact. "It's not enough".
"It's fine" he replies, as if he already knew the answer. He kisses your thighs and steps back to remove your skirt and thong. His gaze travels over every inch of your body, without noticing his own clothes and how they slip off your shoulders.
"Say it". He keeps his gaze on your curves. "If you don't, I won't be able to..."
"I want to see you". Your eyes stop at his belt, which is halfway down his left hip. All of you. "You just uttered the last word when his fingers begin to unfasten the belt buckles."
The sound of metal is the only music in the room. Myung-gi leans back to take off his pants, and your eyes widen when you see he is only wearing his gray underwear.
"Don't stop," you encourage him. "I want to see you".
His eyes look at you with the same passion with which they used to look at you all.
"Just say it again."
"I want to see you," you repeat. "All of you".
He caresses the bulge that protrudes from his pants. His fingers slide lightly over his erection, a caress that makes your thighs tense without you being able to help it. He seems to read your mind, because his fingers move to the waistband of his underwear to remove them.
"Whatever you want" he says, and you need nothing more to understand the meaning behind his words.
It's as if a part of him were granting you a great concession.
His cock is long and thick, protruding from his pelvis like an arrow. Myung-gi doesn't take long to caress it, holding it with his fingers with surprising gentleness and looking into your eyes with a mischievous glint in his gaze. He slides his thumb over her pink bud, as if it were a challenge for you.
"Is this how you like it?" he asks with a smirk, as he starts to move his hand so that his erection glistens with saliva and his own secretions.
"I like you" you respond, trying to remind yourself to keep your composure. "That's what I like".
You put a finger on her lips, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do.
He quickly takes it, sucking your finger provocatively. He sucks at an increasingly faster pace, and your nipples harden as you remember the times you've let him do the same with your breasts, surrounding your nipples with his lips and sucking them so hard it felt like your body was on the verge of orgasm without having any idea why.
"Remember this," he says as he releases your finger. Remember me.
"I would never forget you," you reply. Unless you want something else. You looked into his eyes, your heart racing. "Do you want anything else?".
"Just you. Just this.." He tilts his head back and kisses you, with a furious and desire-filled passion.
You slide your hand over his cock, stroking it from the tip to the balls and back up slowly but surely, as if you felt in control of his pleasure. He moans in your mouth, a sensation as thrilling as it is terrifying.
"Fuck..." whispers. "Fuck".
"Do you like it?" you ask, kissing him briefly. "Is this what you want?".
He nods, without stopping the caresses on your breasts. Your nipples harden more with his caresses, and you can't help but arch your back a little to feel his fingers better on your breasts.
"That's it... that's what..." It seems like I can barely speak. "That's perfect". He steps away from you for just a moment to remove your panties. His gaze stops at your legs and his eyes widen.
"Do you see it?" he says, showing you his fingers. "Do you see it? You have some kind of fluids in your panties".
"I see it," you respond, blushing a little. Don't worry about it.
"That excites me more," he says with a smile. "I love that you like it". He caresses your thighs with his hands, with a softness in his fingers that makes your breasts harden no matter how much you try to breathe. "Do you want me to caress you there?"
"Where?"you say, pretending not to understand. "Where do you want to touch me?" You also have your hands on his erection, and the sound of his moans makes you wish he could hold out longer.
"There". He caresses your legs, moving his fingers up, towards your panties, before stopping at your se "I want to put my fingers here, feel you wet... and hot".
"It's one of your favorite fantasies" you say, smiling a little. You don't need to ask about that. You caress it with a slow movement of your fingers, knowing that you want more than that for him, but not quite knowing what.
"Do you want more?" you ask him. "What do you really want from me?".
"Just... just you" he repeats, without stopping kissing you. "That's all I've ever wanted". His fingers press against your sex, moving down with an increasingly intense softness. "This is just for us".
"Yes," you nod, kissing him. "All of this is ours". You took her hand with yours and brought it to your sex. Her fingers need no further invitation to move up and enter you.
"Ah..." You sigh, feeling the pressure of his fingers inside you.
"Oh, Myung-gi..." You can't help but moan, you can't help but feel lost in his eyes and in his caresses.
"Is this what you like?" he asks me, with his fingers on your sex and his erection pressing against your thighs. "Is that what you like?"
"Yes" you respond, feeling the pleasure grow in your belly. "Oh my God...!" Your fingers seek his shoulders, clinging as if you couldn't bear to let him go.
He keeps caressing you, his fingers moving in an increasingly intense rhythm. Your sex throbs to the rhythm of his caresses, as if trying to tell him something you can't say out loud.
"Do you want anything else?" he murmurs into your neck, with his cock pressing against your sex. Do you want to feel me there?
"Yes" you respond, feeling the pleasure like a wave growing inside you. "Yes... yes..." Your sex closes around his fingers, as if trying to keep them there, to have his hand inside you forever. "Myung-gi!"
He pulls out of you a moment later, his fingers slippery and stained with your fluids.
"Remember me like this," he says, as if words were the only thing he could do. "Remember me here". He takes your sex firmly, without delicacy, and thrusts it into you with a deep caress.
"Myung-gi!" Your legs close around him, feeling his cock so hard against your walls. "Oh... oh my God...".
"Yes" he gasps, pulling out a little before thrusting back in, deeper. "Like this. That's it... just like that..." He kisses you a moment later, his cock moving inside you with a rhythm that soon brings you to the edge of pleasure. "That's right. Only you".
"Oh, Myung-gi" you repeat, feeling the orgasm as a growing wave that will soon make you explode.
"Only you. Just for you". Your nails dig into his back with the effort to keep the rhythm and endure his movements.
"Just..." You can no longer keep talking. His erection inside you makes the pleasure so intense that you can't do anything but feel, you can't do anything but feel it inside you, each caress like a flame igniting in your body.
"Myung-gi..." The waves of pleasure begin to take over your body, making your thighs tremble and your fingers dig into his skin. "... Myung-gi, don't stop..." Your walls close around his cock with the orgasm, feeling your fluids spill over his erection.
"Fuck," he says, quickening his movements. "Fuck... I can feel you..."
You can't respond to him. The orgasm has you as a prisoner, you can do nothing but feel yourself coming on his erection with a muffled scream.
"Myung-gi" you repeat, feeling his fingers on your sex.
Myung-gi pulls out of you a moment after your waves of pleasure pass. His cock is covered in your fluids, and his fingers are as sticky as his thighs.
"I love you," he says, with a voice full of emotion, as if it were his last words. I will always love you.
"I love you too," you respond, feeling something inside you break with their words. I love you too.
He has just spoken them when he lies down beside you, wrapping his arms around you as if he thinks you might escape at any moment. His fingers caress your breasts slowly, with a softness as if he were incapable of touching you any other way. Your eyes slowly close, leaving you deeply asleep in his arms.
The next morning, you wake up alone. There is a note in its place, written in her hurried handwriting:
"Forgive me." Everything I do is for us. I love you."
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spriteofmushrooms · 2 days ago
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Au where wen zhuliu becomes jiang cheng's bodyguard
[on ao3]
The puppies tumbled over Jiang Cheng's lap, each trying to give him kisses. Their bellies were round with milk, and they still didn't know how to play like big dogs could. But that was okay, because Jiang Cheng would teach them.
"Little Love, Jasmine, Precious, be careful! You're going to fall out of my lap!" Jiang Cheng picked up each and gently set them down, but they kept returning. Frustrated, Jiang Cheng snapped, "No! Bad puppies!"
At the loud sound, the dogs flinched and looked around, seeming more confused than ever.
"Is something wrong, Jiang-gongzi?"
Zhao Zhuliu had recently joined the sect. He was tall and looked older than most adults Jiang Cheng knew other than the aunties and uncles who sold food by the docks. He always wore gloves and didn't smile. Because Jiang Cheng was a stupid baby, his mother had decided that Zhao Zhuliu would be his bodyguard. Jiang Cheng hated it. Only useless boys like Jin Zhen needed bodyguards.
But he did need help.
"We have to go see a-jie, but I can't carry them all," Jiang Cheng said.
Expressionless, Zhao Zhuliu replied, "I will carry two."
Jiang Cheng wasn't sure if bodyguards knew anything about dogs, so he picked up Little Love and showed Zhao Zhuliu how Jiang Yanli had shown him how to carry puppies. "They're really small and get scared easily," he said sternly, "so you can't move too quickly. You have to support their whole body, but don't hold them like a cat, because they might jump down and hurt themselves. And you have to be nice to them."
"I will," Zhao Zhuliu said.
Little Love and Jasmine were more adventurous than Precious, so Jiang Cheng handed them one at a time to Zhao Zhuliu. It was funny to see the wiggly puppies in his black gloved hands, but they seemed comfortable there. Jasmine even started licking Zhao Zhuliu's wrist.
Holding Precious like a baby, Jiang Cheng led the way to Jiang Yanli's courtyard where she learned girl things like illusion dances. Along the way, Jiang Cheng explained that these puppies were very smart, because they were farm dogs who protected sheep from tigers and yao. "The farmer said they think they're part of the flock, and sometimes when a sheep is taken they track it down, and they come back covered in blood because they're good dogs, and the sheep cuddle with them because they love them. We don't have any sheep, though."
After a moment of silence, Zhao Zhuliu asked, "Earlier, when you yelled, were you worried?"
Jiang Cheng could feel his shoulders curving in. "Yes, Zhao-shishu."
"Dogs can't understand Chinese, so they don't know why you yelled. You have to think like a dog. Puppies are still babies, and they understand even less than adult dogs. You're much older than they are, so it's your responsibility to show them how to act. How else could you have showed them what you wanted?"
Jiang Cheng slowed down. That was the most he had ever heard Zhao Zhuliu say. For the rest of the walk, he offered examples of how he could better train the puppies while Precious tried to eat his hair.
———
Father picked up Wei Ying even though he never picked up Jiang Cheng except three times. Wei Ying was crying over nothing and Jiang Cheng couldn't have his puppies anymore and Father was walking away. Two disciples Jiang Cheng couldn't recognize through his tears had already picked up his puppies and they weren't doing it right because nobody cared about his puppies at all.
Zhao Zhuliu knelt before Jiang Cheng. "Xiao-gongzi, do you trust me?"
Looking up through his tears, Jiang Cheng studied Zhao Zhuliu's face. He still looked old, but his expressions weren't as scary now that he didn't look blank all the time. Jiang Cheng didn't think Zhao Zhuliu hated him even though Jiang Cheng had thrown a tantrum when he was assigned a bodyguard, and he knew that Zhao Zhuliu knew about dogs, and even liked his puppies.
"Y-yeah," Jiang Cheng sobbed.
"I will find a flock for Precious, Jasmine, and Little Love to protect. They're going to have a lot of sheep friends, Xiao-gongzi."
"Can I visit them?"
"Zongzhu and Yu-furen will determine that," Zhao Zhuliu said.
Jiang Cheng knew what that meant. He cried harder.
"Xiao-gongzi," Zhao Zhuliu said, then started again. "Jiang Cheng, I will return as soon as I find them a home. I swear it."
Jiang Cheng wanted to say they already had a home, or that he would run away with them, but both would be petulant and stupid. He nodded. When Zhao Zhuliu gestured sharply at the two disciples, they brought the puppies to Jiang Cheng so he could say goodbye. "Be good, be good," he whispered, kissing the soft fur on their heads.
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great-septimus · 11 hours ago
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I want to add to this. I reblogged it before I actually thought of what I wanted to say, but it finally connected in my head. I agree with all of this, but it was mainly the realization that what the fandom calls his sudden "traumadumping", as funny as it is, is literally just him attempting to make Ren feel close to him without any real vulnerability.
He talks about his mom with Ren unprompted, and says he hasn't told anyone this before, and that's true- because he hates feeling pitied. He doesn't want to feel weak, but he does want to be cared for. He wants to be supported, by anyone, but most people would react to his hardship with sympathy that he doesn't need or believe he deserves or earns. So he instead opens up to Ren because he sees them on equal footing. They're on the same page, and he wants Ren to feel a connection to him even if it's entirely fabricated and calculated. It's partially due to habit because, y'know, Detective Prince mask requires him to do this already in general, but also because so much of his real hardship is locked up so seeking a real connection requires the melodrama.
For me, I had this realization remembering when he walked into Leblanc the first time. He sees Futaba and he says "You must be Wakaba Isshiki's daughter" and then after he gets chewed out by Sojiro, he starts talking about how he doesn't feel wanted anywhere. Then seemingly unrelated, he talks about his mom. It feels to me like he's trying to say "if you can care about Futaba, then you should care about me."
He hasn't had a support system, so the need for just someone, anyone to care, even though they don't know him and what he's done, is so strong. He hates being pitied because he doesn't see himself as weak, and he doesn't think he deserves sympathy, so why would he share anything more than necessary? The third semester is the inverse of this. Everyone knows too much, so now the care he craved for so long feels way too exposed. It's too vulnerable, and he never thought he would have earned it if he shared this much, even from Ren. So ultimately the trust he earned has the opposite effect, and now his prior "see me and love me" mask has been replaced by a "leave me alone and hate me" mask.
Just said something about this on twitter but out of everything in 3rd semester that’s meant to show the contrast between akechis behavior pre-engineroom and post-engineroom I honestly think this specific change in sprite expression does it best
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The first one looks directly at you because he makes this face when he’s trying to gain sympathy points / connect with whoever he’s talking to. Okay yeah he uses it when he was talking about his mother at leblanc and the bathhouse which definitely drew from a place real sadness but it was still a calculated part of his attempts to endear himself. And the second one is the exact opposite. It barely shows up and when it does it’s only for 1-2 (?) dialogue boxes a piece. It’s the expression he makes when he can’t immediately hide his emotions. The quick turning away / avoidance of eye contact is so you Don’t connect with the little hints of genuineness that manage to slip out for the two seconds that they last. Maybe so he doesn’t have to see your face if you do? Anyway. TDLR I just think it’s nice to focus less on his crazy talk and meangirlisms and acknowledge that they’re 100% also being used to rein in the fact that he’s progressively losing his grip on masking “the real akechi” from sight 100% of the time. At every point in the game he only wants his real self to be seen in tiny, entirely controlled sneak peeks, and only when he thinks it benefits him. agh
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joelsprettyprincess · 1 day ago
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Taming of the Shrew - Part 1
Pairing: dark!Arthur Morgan x f!reader Summary: After you finally call it quits on your on-and-off relationship with the outlaw, Arthur is forced to find a different way to make you stay. Series-wide tags: Toxic relationships, manipulation, obsessive behavior, smut, secretly unprotected piv, babytrapping, pregnancy, canon-typical violence, slight canon-typical misogyny. Wordcount: 3.3k A/N: I am very, very excited for yall to read this. It was so fun to write. Unfortunately I girlbossed a little too hard and it's almost 10k words. 😭So, this 'mini-series' will be split into 3 parts. As for accuracy, I did try, but the timeline is a little off. Just ignore that.. And what do we think of the series name?? Bonus points if you know the reference! I felt it was appropriate. Also, there is no smut until Part 2. Sorry! And as always MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Tags: @dandelion-ranch @i-will-give-you-love @amaranth-writing @heloixe
Part 2 is out!
“Just leave me alone, Arthur!”
These words flew from your mouth like bullets that struck him in the chest.
“Excuse me?” he said in a low growl, stepping towards you. You were both by his tent in his gang's current camp, and it wasn't exactly isolated. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kieran watching them curiously over by the horses.
You sighed, running a hand over your hair. “I'm just so tired of this.”
“Tired of what, exactly?” Arthur inquired dryly. He crossed his big burly arms and gave you an annoyed look.
“Everything, Arthur. The runnin’, the stealin’…the killing. I'm sorry, but I am not meant for a life like that.” You crossed your arms as well. A soft wind blew; inappropriate weather for the pressing conversation the two of you were having.
He came even closer. Those eyes…they were piercing yours with that discerning stare. “You say that like you've actually done any of it. I'm the outlaw, not you, sweetheart.”
You threw up your hands. “That's exactly the problem. If my daddy knew, he'd just about kill me, then hunt you down too. You know I can't…I can't…”
Arthur grasped your hand roughly, but you threw him off. You stomped away to where your horse was hitched, and of course he followed.
Arthur called your name, trying to stop you. Mary-Beth was watching you now too, but he didn't seem to care. Luckily most of the camp was out doing whatever it was this gang did for fun. Robbing, most likely, you thought, snorting.
“Quit the games,” Arthur spat. “We both know you're just gonna run back to me. You need me– and I need you. Don't leave.” 
“I most definitely do not need you, Mr. Morgan,” you snapped. “Why don't you go back to that Mary girl? I've seen them letters.”
A shadow passed over his face for just a second. “...Just go home. You are heartless, woman.”
You felt a little bad, but swallowed the feeling down. “I'm leavin', and I ain't coming back,” you cried, getting on your horse. “I've had enough of this gang's shenanigans. Don't come near me neither. I can't guarantee I won't let my daddy shoot you.”
With those cold parting words, you sneered at him and rode off towards Rhodes.
Regret sat like a pit in Arthur's stomach as he watched you leave Clemen's Point. Relationships were like a curse in the Van Der Linde gang. Inevitably they would be struck by death or divisiveness. Arthur had tried hard not to fall into the same patterns, but it seemed his loves were doomed from the start.
He paced around camp as he decided what to do. You and him had not been together long, only perhaps 3 months had passed since he first crossed paths with you at the saloon. 
You'd looked so out of place, sitting stiffly at a table in the corner with your maid. He'd watched you down a cup of brandy and immediately start coughing. It was clear you weren't used to the rough environment of a bar.
Arthur decided then, that he would show you.
And show you he did. You were initially attracted to his shadowy aura and western roughness, but spending more days with him revealed the genuinely caring man underneath. Arthur showed you so much of the world; he took you out for long horse rides through the forests, winding through the trees before making camp for the night and perhaps fucking before drifting off to sleep underneath the stars. 
He introduced you to a new way of life, one that was fading due to civilization, but exciting nonetheless. The first time you saw him shoot a man, you weren't sure whether to feel incredibly aroused or disgusted. Maybe it was a bit of both. Maybe the way of the outlaw was your path?
That is what you thought, until he brought you back to camp. It was a pretty bit of land, flat and grassy, but the people were something else. The men were loud, stinky, and violent, and the women were like men themselves. They all knew how to shoot, to steal, to survive. 
And you didn't. You were a wealthy girl; your father made his fortune in oil. You'd slept on a bed with silken sheets almost your whole life, and the closest you had come to a gun was looking at the ones your father had on display in his office.
Your mother was a society lady, obsessed with gossip and flirting with the help.
Both of your parents disgusted you, but you knew the privilege you had. You were their only child and therefore would receive a sizable inheritance upon your father's death. As cruel as it seemed, that was the only reason you tolerated them.
However, this was now threatened by your romance with one of the most wanted men in the country. Of course, you hadn't known he was wanted so badly when you first met. It wasn't until he had shot that bounty hunter that he'd told you the truth.
“I've got a price on my head,” he admitted to you while cleaning off the blood at a nearby stream. “A pretty big one.”
“How big?” you'd asked, sitting on the grass near him.
He dabbed at his shirt with a damp rag. “Er, about…five thousand dollars.” He mumbled that last part.
You whipped your head up. “Excuse me?”
“Five thousand dollars,” he repeated gruffly. “I know, I know.” He chuckled. “You can turn me in, if ya want.”
“Arthur,” you exclaimed, standing up. “That's…that's just so…who are you?!”
“Just somebody who's made a lot of dumb choices over the last 20 years. Listen, sweetheart, it's fine. I been runnin’ all this time and they ain't caught us yet.”
“Yet,” you said, then paused. “So…you killed a lot of people, then?”
He shrugged. “You really wanna know?”
“Good point.”
You weren't willing to completely submerge yourself in the pool of crime,  and Arthur couldn't quite blame you for it. He knew you were a society heiress, destined to hold luncheons, not revolvers. 
But that did not stop him from trying. Would not. That thing with Mary…well, he didn't like to think about that. It would not happen again.
Arthur jogged across camp to his horse…then realized that following you was probably not a good idea. You were angry right now, and you would cool off eventually, but right now you probably needed some space.
He sighed. Dutch was right. Women had so many needs. 
Arthur spent the rest of the day doing chores around the camp, plotting and thinking. And his thoughts got angrier and darker as time went on. Who did you think you were, anyway? Refusing Van Der Linde's most trusted associate? One of the most feared men in America? You were so uppity, with your silk dresses and thoroughbred horse. 
He slammed his axe down on the chunk of wood in front of him, frowning deeply and squinting his eyes against the sunset. Perhaps he should just tie you to his horse and bring you to Tahiti with the gang. Maybe then you would lose that damn attitude.
Arthur hit the wood so hard it burst into pieces, going everywhere. He grunted, then dropped the axe to the ground and trudged over to his cot. 
He could not pretend like your passionate declaration was unwarranted. You had seen the gang do violent things, things that made you think that being a sheltered rich girl wasn't so bad.
But the taste of freedom kept drawing you back like a drunkard asking for one more shot. You liked how the gang didn't answer to anyone but themselves, not dominated by any law or person or expectation.
It was a war of ideals, and his side was nearly out of ammo. Arthur really couldn't offer you anything but his love. It was no wonder you were running back to your parents. 
But his love was deep as an ocean, and as all-consuming as one too. After Mary closed the book on their romance (or was it just a fling to her?) forever, Arthur had been sullen and angry for a while. He swore he wouldn't let any woman make a fool of him again.
And then he met you. You, who was even richer than Mary, with twice as much sass and the same sweet Southern accent. You were drawn to each other like a ring of oil and a match. 
It was a love that was sure to burn and destroy.
Arthur slept fitfully, still angry at your rejection. He was hoping you were just caught up in the heat of the moment, but if you weren't, well…he would cross that bridge if he came to it. Tomorrow he would visit your father's manor.
After leaving Clemen's Point, you rode your horse back to Rhodes, fighting tears. That man! Arthur was an enigma sometimes. He was a stupid man if he thought you would really give up your life for him. No matter how handsome and broad-shouldered he was…
You were not returning though. You had a bad habit of pushing Arthur away, then coming back within a week. The two of you had an unpleasant cycle of affection: after you inevitably returned to his arms, he would act kind enough, then subtly become more obsessive and manipulative and suffocating until you’d had enough. He never chased after you too hard, knowing you would be back. 
And you always were.
Just before this latest rejection, Arthur had been angry because you didn't express much interest in learning to shoot.
“‘S not like we'll be sending you on missions or anything. Just think you should be able to defend yourself, is all,” was his reasoning.
“I thought you would protect me?” you had countered. He'd promised you wouldn't have to lift a finger if you stayed with him, that he would do everything for you.
“An’ I intend on doin’ that,” he insisted. “But it don't hurt to know how to use one. You see Molly? She don't know how to do much of anything, and you see how Dutch treats the girl. I don't want that for us.”
“It just feels like you misled me,” you huffed, smoothing off your riding dress. “I didn't know this lifestyle was so…so…”
“Well, newsflash, sweetheart,” Arthur said snarkily. “We survive out here. Ain't no oil money for us to fall back on. If that's the way you feel, then, just leave, ‘cause you obviously hate me.”
“Arthur!” you chided him. “You know I love you–”
“You sure?” he cut in. “It sure seem like you just came here lookin’ for a good time. I've bared my soul for you, and you can't even do this one thing for me.” He shook his head, disappointed.
That had set you off and caused you to take your leave, yet again.
But this time it was really going to stick. You were done running around with a criminal, especially since your parents were starting to notice how often you were absent. And if Arthur came around, well, you'd get your father to shoot him!
Arthur woke up early the next morning, still feeling annoyed from yesterday. The snooty look you had given him when you got on your horse pricked his mind like a thorn. 
He needed you…to behave. To submit. To love him. Violent feelings were coursing through his veins. This was different than with Mary. When she left, he'd let her go, knowing it was useless.
But you…you were different. You actually had an affinity for the lifestyle. Maybe you just needed…a little push?
He hopped on his horse and started towards your home. He was going to convince you, no matter what. Dutch was still talking about taking them to Tahiti. Arthur bet you would like it there, better than your stuffy manor, surely.
Arthur rode fast and hard. Usually he met you quite a ways away from the town to avoid anyone possibly seeing and recognizing you, so he'd only been around your home once or twice, which was north of Rhodes, near the Kamassa River.
He was really tired of this running around. You needed to commit, now, and stop the bullshit that kept spouting from your mouth.
A good bit of riding later and he slowed, seeing the stately silhouette of your manor. It always made him vaguely uncomfortable.
He hitched his horse nearby, then took up a position that would allow him to observe the front of the house without being seen. He just needed to talk to you.
Arthur was used to staking out locations for hours, so he settled in. You had never dared to sneak him into the house, so he wasn't sure which window was yours– but he would wait. Oh, yes, he would. You were not going to escape that easily.
After perhaps an hour and a half of watching the help come and go, Arthur finally saw you emerge from the house, alone. About time, he thought gruffly.
He hung back, waiting till you got on your horse and start towards town before quietly mounting his horse and following you.
Arthur waited till the path was isolated on either end, then easily rode up beside you. “Morning, sunshine,” he greeted you cheerfully.
You squeaked in surprise, then turned and looked. “Arthur?! What– what’re you doin' here?”
“I need to talk to you,” he said firmly. “You ran away so fast yesterday, didn't even give me time to defend myself.”
“Ain't nothing to talk about,” you replied. “We're done.”
“We ain't.”
“We are. Leave me alone.”
“This is what you want in life? Stayin’ in some giant empty home with cash to burn? No excitement or nothin’?”
“Maybe,” you said annoyedly. “What of it?”
“I know that's not what you want,” Arthur said firmly. “I gave your life meaning, and I'll be damned if you try to deny that!”
“You have no idea what I want, Arthur Morgan,” you snapped, riding faster. He kept pace with you.
“I know you want more than this. I know you love me…or at least, I thought you did. Maybe I'm a fool and you've just been using me this whole time. Is that it, princess?” he demanded.
“No, Arthur–”
“No, Arthur,” he repeated in a squeaky voice. “You always say that. I can't believe it! I've been such an idiot this whole time. You never loved me. You just wanted a– a chaperone. You women are such cunning creatures. I gave you my whole heart, and you just stomped on it.”
“Arthur!” you cried, feeling guilty and angry at the same time. “You know that's not true. You know I love you. But the truth is…if my father were to ever find out about you, he'd surely disown me, and cut me out of the will. How could I risk that?”
He snorted. “All you care about is money, huh? Listen to me, sweetheart. It doesn't matter if you get that inheritance or not. You'll be alone forever. You will never, ever find someone like me. No one else puts up with your bullshit like me. Maybe you'll find a nice enough banker, who'll give you a kid or two out of duty, maybe you'll live in this house and hold parties just like your mother. But you will never be fulfilled like you would with us. You'll be surrounded by fancy possessions, maybe, but you'll always regret not coming with me.”
“Arthur,” you said hoarsely, staring at the dirt path ahead. This is how he got you everytime. He knew your biggest fear was being unfulfilled in life. He knew, and he never hesitated to use that against you.
Arthur knew you like a priest knows sin. He'd listened to your confessions for days on end, and now he was using them to break you down.
“I…I…” It was difficult to articulate your thoughts. He was very skilled at making you feel bad.
Before you had a chance to answer, a shot rang out and a bullet zipped between you two. Your horse neighed loudly, reared, and you fell off with a shout. You fumbled, getting tangled in your skirts, trying to crawl away.
Arthur cursed, then vaulted off his horse to grab you and drag you to the nearest cover. He stowed you behind a large rock, then peeked over and started trading shots with whoever was trying to apparently kill him.
“Arthur Morgan!” a masculine voice called out. “Turn yourself in or we’ll be forced to put a bullet in you!”
“Who is that?!” you screamed, terrified. 
“Another damn bounty hunter, probably,” he grunted, switching to his rifle. “Just keep your pretty head down.” 
You covered your ears and cowered. A few shots later, and the only sounds remaining in the forest were your horse’s panicked neighs and Arthur’s labored breath.
He sheathed his rifle and wiped off his forehead, leaning his head against the rock. “You okay?”
“Barely,” you said angrily. “You see what I mean now? I can’t live like this, Arthur! I’m sorry! I can’t risk it.”
Arthur went silent for a bit, and you glanced over at him. He had his hat pulled down low to where you couldn't make out his expression. “I’m gonna see who was huntin’ me,” was all he said before getting up and going over to examine the bodies.
You had no desire to see any mangled corpses, so you stayed behind the rock while Arthur investigated. 
You heard a shout, then a sick groan. What the hell? You lowered your head even further.
Arthur came back a couple minutes later. “We’re clear,” he said. “Just some idiot who thought he could really capture me.”
He had blood on his hands and his shirt. That coupled with the sweat that was shining on his forehead, made him look kind of attractive to you. Wait, what? 
“He wasn’t quite dead,” was his explanation.
You shakily stood up, dusting off your skirts. “D-D-Don’t ever talk to me again, Arthur. I want nothing to do with this.”
Arthur examined you for a while, and you grew uncomfortable under his stare, but you looked right back at him.
He finally sighed and shrugged. “If that's what you want.”
You watched in disbelief as he got back on his horse and left, apparently riding back towards Clemen's Point.
What just happened? 
That little nymph. 
Arthur was internally raging, gripping the reins of his horse so hard it was sure to leave angry red marks on his palms. If it weren’t for that damned bounty hunter! He was sure he could have convinced you to come back.
This was going to require something more drastic. Something…serious.
He rode back to camp while he thought about it. Luckily things were pretty calm for now, besides those hunters. He hoped it wasn’t a sign of something urgent. Dutch and Hosea were working on locating some gold that apparently existed around these parts, and were opting for the long run instead of going in, guns blazing. That worked out for Arthur, who had no desire to leave you anytime soon.
The question was this: What would not only bring you back to him, but make you stay permanently? Hmm…some sort of pressing situation, obviously.
He couldn't threaten you; that would be a bad foundation for your relationship.
The untimely demise of your parents, maybe? No, you would most likely be sent to a relative’s house. 
Speaking of parents.
Arthur felt a good idea forming. He furrowed his brows in concentration.
Speaking of your parents…you had spoken about your fear of being disowned.
Would that push you back into his arms? If you had nowhere else to go, would you turn to him?
But under what circumstances would you be disowned? If he made an appearance on your estate, you would probably be disgraced but not disowned, and he would be shot on site with any subsequent visits.
He needed you so bad it fucking hurt. Even just the thought of never seeing you again made Arthur desperate enough to try even the craziest plan.
An inkling of an idea was taking shape…
Perhaps, instead of a death…maybe a birth?
End of Part 1.
90 notes · View notes
sugdenlovesdingle · 24 hours ago
Note
I am a slut for Hurt/comfort first “I love you” 🥺🫶🏼
Hope you’re having a fantastic day 🥰
Sorry this took FOREVER, but I hope you like it!
(I’ll post on AO3 after I've had some sleep)
----
"You could always come along. Half naked men are relevant to your interests these days." Eddie teased and Buck rolled his eyes.
"There is only one man I'm interested in, and I prefer him completely naked." he grinned at Tommy who leaned over the table to kiss him.
"Likewise."
"Can someone please remind me why I'm friends with you two again?" Eddie complained.
The three of them were sat at Buck's kitchen table, grabbing a bite to eat together before Eddie and Tommy were going to another fight in Vegas.
"I saved your life." Buck reminded him around a bite of food.
"I've saved your life." Eddie shot back.
"Free babysitting."
"Well with Chris still in El Paso, I don't think I'm going to be asking for your services in that department any time soon. If ever again..."
"Chris will come around." Tommy started sincerely, but there was a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "And I get you free tickets to fights and free helicopter flights to exclusive fights in Vegas and back. Which you could be more grateful for."
"I'm beginning to wonder if that means getting all the details on your sex life is really worth it."
"Hey, you don't have to come. I can always go with Evan and get my buddy to set us up with a nice hotel room on the strip." Tommy said turning to Buck. "The two of us, a king size bed, maybe a jacuzzi... Not leaving the room for an entire weekend..."
"And then you'll complain about about having missed the fight of the century when we get back." Buck reminded him but happily let Tommy kiss him.
"There will be other fights. A weekend in Vegas with you sounds pretty good. We could hit up the casinos. I'm pretty good at poker."
"I beat you the other day." Buck smirked.
"That was intentional." Tommy said with a wink.
"Why would you let him win?" Eddie asked, downing the last of his beer. "Why would you play with him in the first place? Mister over competitive."
"Hey!" Buck protested while Tommy just shrugged.
"I had my reasons."
Eddie narrowed his eyes.
"This is another sex thing, isn't it?" he held up his hands. "No, don't answer that. I don't want to know."
Tommy laughed and finished the last of his food.
"We should get going soon. We need to still drive over to Harbor from here."
Eddie nodded.
"But no more details about your sex life or you can go alone."
"Noted." Tommy said, getting up and putting their dirty dishes in the sink. "Don't bother with those ok? We can do them together tomorrow." he told Buck.
"Sure. You coming back here after then?"
Tommy smiled.
"If you want me to."
Buck stood up and wrapped his arms around Tommy's neck.
"I want you to. I don't care how late it gets, I want you here. And you better wake me up if I'm asleep."
"I'm not making any promises in that department. But I'll promise I'll be there when you wake up. Deal?"
Buck pretended to think it over.
"I guess I can live with that." he joked and the two of them shared another kiss, getting lost in the moment until Eddie loudly cleared his throat.
"Come on Tomás, we have a flight to catch."
Tommy reluctantly stepped out of Buck's embrace.
"The flight is me." he glanced at his watch. "But yeah we should get going." he shrugged on his jacket, grabbed his phone and keys, and with one more quick kiss and a promise to see Buck later, he followed Eddie out the door.
Buck sighed.
As much as he liked the fact that his boyfriend and best friend got on so well, he wouldn't have exactly hated it to spend his night off with said boyfriend instead of watching TV on his own.
He'd only known Tommy for a couple of months but it was getting harder and harder to remember what his life was like without him in it. He didn't particularly want to either.
Just thinking about Tommy made him smile like a teenager with a crush, but lately he was starting to feel like this thing between them was getting more serious. A deeper connection. Not just sex or romantic dates but also being content to just exist in each other's space.
Like spending the night watching the latest movie Tommy insisted he had to watch or trying out a new recipe with Tommy sitting at his kitchen table, keeping him company and being his guinea pig.
It felt a lot like love.
He was pretty sure Tommy felt the same, even if they hadn't actually said it yet.
He really wanted to though, but he was still waiting for that perfect moment. Maybe he'd tell him when they woke up together in the morning.
He smiled to himself as he scrolled through his DVR to find the documentary on bees he'd recorded earlier that week and got comfortable on the sofa as he hit play.
The documentary was interesting enough but still his mind kept wandering. He tried to remember the names of the guys fighting so he could check the score, when his phone suddenly rang in his hand.
He frowned at the screen, not recognising the number. He debated letting it go to voicemail but his curiosity got the better of him.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Evan Buckley?"
"Yes, this is Evan Buckley... Who is this?"
"My name is Laura Greenwood, I'm a nurse at Cedars-Sinai Medical Centre, and I'm calling you on behalf of Edmundo Diaz. I have you listed as his emergency contact, is that correct?"
"Yes, yes that is correct. What's going on? Is Eddie in hospital?"
"Mister Diaz has just been brought in following a car accident."
"A what?! Is he ok?"
"His injuries are non life threatening as far as I've been told." the nurse told him in a practised calm voice. "Are you able to come to the hospital?"
"Uh yes, yes I'm on my way." Buck told her, rushing around his loft to grab his stuff and put his shoes on. "Wait... Was there anyone else brought in with him? Is there a Thomas Kinard with him? Was he admitted too?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that sir. When you get here you can go straight to the ER and they'll take you to see mister Diaz. Perhaps he will be able to tell you more about any other passengers involved in the accident."
The drive to the hospital was a blur. Eddie was in a car accident... but he'd been in a car with Tommy. They'd taken his truck. So what did that mean for Tommy? Had someone crashed into them? Was Tommy alright? Was he even still alive?
He all but threw his Jeep in the first available parking space he came across, and only just remembered to take the keys out of the ignition and lock it.
The hospital was outside the 118's jurisdiction, so he wasn't as familiar with it as some of the others in the city, but he found the ER with ease after making himself follow the signs.
"But was there a Thomas Kinard brought in too?" he tried with the nurse who was taking him to see Eddie.
"Are you next of kin?"
"He's my boyfriend."
The nurse nodded.
"And are you his emergency contact as well? Or listed as next of kin anywhere?"
"I... I'm... No... We've only been together a couple of months... we haven't had that conversation yet."
The nurse gave him a sympathetic look and Buck knew what she was about to say.
"I'm very sorry, but I can't give you any information if you're not next of kin."
"Right... yeah... I understand..."
"If you know who his emergency contact is, they can update you... or tell us it's ok to tell you."
"C-can... I know you're not allowed to give me any details but... is he here? Is he alive?" Buck tried. "Please. I just need to know he's alive."
The nurse looked at him for a minute, weighing her options, then started typing on a tablet.
"Kinard? K-I-N-A-R-D?"
"That's right."
"He's here." She confirmed. "He's alive. They're working on him. That's all I can tell you, I'm sorry." She started walking again, and Buck had to jog a few steps to catch up with her when his brain had managed to process the information she'd given him.
The nurse pulled open a curtain around a bed and Eddie looked up from the magazine he was flicking through. He looked a little banged up but mostly in one piece.
"Mister Diaz, there's someone here to see you." she stepped aside and Buck made himself walk up to the bed and greet his best friend.
"What happened?" he asked after the nurse had left them to it.
"We got t-boned by some drunk idiot in an expensive sports car." Eddie told him. "Tommy got the worst of it. Have you seen him yet? I figured he'd be higher on your list of priorities."
Buck bit his lip. He was happy to see his best friend was ok, but he couldn't help but worry about his boyfriend.
"They won't let me see him. I'm not family, I'm not his emergency contact, I'm nothing. They called me because of you... All that nurse told me is that he's alive."
Eddie gave him a sympathetic look.
"Do you know who his emergency contact is? Does he have family in LA? Siblings?"
"He was born in LA. His dad still lives in the house he grew up in... But they hate each other."
"Ok so not his dad then."
Buck shook his head.
"He also has a brother but I don't even know his name." he rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't even know the name of my boyfriend's brother." he said dejected. "What if he dies? I don't know his family, I've only met a few of his work friends at Harbor, and I don't know any of his friends outside of work. Nobody would even let me know when the funeral is. I don't even know if he would want a funeral. I barely know my own boyfriend!"
He was spiralling and well on his way to a panic attack.
"Hey, hey, calm down." Eddie did his best to snap him out of it by squeezing his shoulder and making him look at him. "Tommy is not going to die ok? He's the one that called 911 after the accident. He had a head wound and they had to cut him out of the car because his leg got pinned. But he was bitching about his truck getting ruined and how it would take him ages to get it back in working order so he was definitely conscious when they got him out. "
Buck made himself take a few deep breaths to compose himself. Tommy worrying about his car was good. That meant he was awake and conscious enough to know what was happening.
"What kind of head wound? Was it bad?"
"Not as bad as it could have been." Eddie told him after a beat and Buck knew he was choosing his words carefully so he wouldn't freak him out. A move straight from the LAFD handbook.
"What does that even mean? There was no brain matter on the airbag?"
Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics.
"The idiot hit Tommy's side pretty hard. Almost flipped us over. We got knocked around the car pretty bad and he hit his head on... something. I don't know, it all happened really fast."
Buck nodded and just about managed to stop himself from shaking Eddie to give him more details.
"I think I passed out for a few minutes... because the next thing I remember is Tommy asking for my phone, well... more like demanding, because he couldn't find his." Eddie continued, scrunching up his face trying to remember more details. "I think he used my phone to call 911... but I don't know what happened to it." He looked around. "They haven't given me my stuff yet."
"I'll go find someone..." Buck moved to stand up but Eddie stopped him.
"The phone can wait. We need to figure out what we're going to do about Tommy."
"What do you mean what we're going to do about Tommy? I'm not family, they won't let me see him."
"I know... but maybe we can figure out a way around that. That nurse from before likes me... maybe if I flirt with her a little she'll tell me what room he's in? Or how he's doing?"
"Just how hard did you hit your head in the crash? I think you have a concussion. That's never going to work."
"Hey, I'm charming and sexy! I'm hot!"
"I've seen you puking up your guts after bad sushi and hungover and praying in Spanish on my bathroom floor after you decided to mix beer and tequila. You are neither charming or sexy."
"Well you try it then! Or maybe one of the male nurses will be easier to persuade."
"I'm not going to flirt with a guy to get info on my boyfriend!" Buck said exasperated and stood up. "I'm just going to calmly talk to the nurses again and explain the situation... maybe they can tell me who his emergency contact is. Maybe it's his brother and I can introduce myself and he can tell me how Tommy is doing."
Eddie mumbled something under his breath but Buck ignored him and went in search for someone who could tell him more about Tommy.
He was almost at the nurses station when he heard a familiar name.
"I'm here for Thomas Kinard. I got a call he was in an accident."
"Are you family?"
"I might as well be." Buck had a clear view of the man now but he didn't recognise him. "I'm his emergency contact. You called me."
"Name?"
"Sal Deluca. Salvatore."
The nurse typed something on her computer.
"He was in a car accident. Suspected fractured pelvis, head laceration, suspected broken ribs and open tibia fracture, as well as suspected ruptured spleen. He's in surgery now." She told the man. "You can take a seat here and someone will come update you when they can."
The man looked like he wanted to argue with the nurse but apparently decided it wasn't worth it and just sat down on a nearby chair and took his phone out of his pocket. He tapped the screen and put the phone up to his ear.
"Hey, it's me." he paused to listen. "No I haven't seen him yet. He's in surgery. Pretty banged up. He's gonna need help when he gets out. We can't let him go back to his place on his own." Another pause. "I don't know, Gina." A slight irritation in his voice. "We'll figure it out when the time comes." another pause and a sigh. "Yeah. I'll call you when I know more. Yeah. Love you too. Bye."
Buck watched him put his phone away and sit back in the chair. It was now or never. He took a deep breath and walked up to the man.
"Hi... uhm... you don't know me but...-"
"Look, man, let me stop you there. If you're the one that hit my buddy and want to clear your conscience now or something, don't bother, I'm not interested. He'll probably forgive you when he's awake, because he's an idiot like that, but don't come to me with that shit."
"What? No. Tha-that's not... I'm Evan Buckley. Tommy is my boyfriend."
The man sat up.
"You're Evan?"
"Yes... Has Tommy mentioned me?"
"Yeah. Hasn't stopped talking about you for the past few months. I feel like I know you better than my own wife by now."
"Oh... I uh... h-he hasn't told me a-about you..." Buck stammered.
"Of course not." The man rolled his eyes. "We've been friends for over 20 years, he's my both daughters' godfather, but he won't tell his new boyfriend about me." he continued sarcastically. "I guess he just wanted to make sure you're not an asshole like the last idiot he dated. Andrew really fucked him up."
"Y-yeah..." Buck agreed, not wanting to let on he didn't have a clue who Andrew was.
The man stood up and offered Buck his hand.
"I'm Sal. Were you in there with him?"
"No, my best friend was. They were going to Vegas to watch a fight." Buck explained and filled him in on the details.
Sal turned out to be easy enough to talk to once he'd decided Buck was alright, and the two of them talked about Tommy, the job, the 118, and the grudge Sal still held against Bobby.
After some time, a tired looking doctor came to update them on Tommy's condition and a nurse took them up to the floor so they could see him.
"One visitor at a time." she warned them.
"You go first." Buck told Sal who shook his head and pushed him towards the door.
"He's not going to want to see me, trust me. You go sit with him, I'll go update my wife."
Buck wanted to protest but Sal was already walking away and tapping his phone screen. He looked through the little window in the door and saw Tommy, looking way too small and frail for a man his size.
His leg was in a cast and there were various bandages around his head and body. He glanced at the monitor beside the bed and watched the lines move with Tommy's heartbeat before gently opening the door and going in.
He grabbed the chair from the corner of the room and sat down as close to the bed he could get. He watched Tommy's chest rise and fall with each breath and carefully took his hand in his.
"Hey... You scared the shit out of me..." he said softly. "I got the call about Eddie and I jumped in my car right away... And Eddie's fine, he'll be alright... But they wouldn't tell me anything about you. I didn't even know if you were alive." He brought Tommy's hand to his lips and brushed a kiss over the knuckles. "When you get out of here, we need to talk." he said and winced at how it sounded. "Not... not like that. I'm not breaking up with you. I just... our jobs are dangerous you know. And next time you get injured on the job... or just... anything happens to you... I want to know what happened. I want to be able to come see you without Eddie thinking he can flirt with a nurse and convince her to let me." He laughed a little. "You know that would never have worked."
The next few hours went by in a blur. Tommy woke up a few times but was way too out of it to have anything resembling a conversation, Sal dipped in and out of the room, and even Eddie had come by to check on Tommy.
The hours turned into days, and the days turned into a week. Tommy's condition had improved enough for him to be moved onto a regular ward and for the dose of the heavy painkillers to be lowered so he was awake for longer periods of time and more aware of what was happening around him.
And also getting more and more annoyed by the fact he couldn't move around as freely as he'd like, practically begging the nurses to get him a pair of crutches even if he was nowhere near well enough for that.
"Hey there sleeping beauty, welcome back to the land of the living. If you wanted to see me that badly, you could have just picked up the phone, you know? You didn't have to crash your car." Sal joked when he walked back into Tommy's room after updating his wife and checking in at work on day 8.
"You know me, always had a flair for the dramatic." Tommy replied and gave him a tired smile. "How are the girls? Evan said you went to call Gina."
"They're fine. Torey wants to come see her uncle T but we talked her down to facetime when you're feeling better."
"Yeah... when these bruises clear up... and the stitches come out. Or can be covered up somehow. I don't want to scare her." Tommy said, gesturing to his head. He was looking a whole lot better than when he'd first been brought in but the bruises were only just starting to fade.
"She's seen you first thing in the morning before you've had your coffee, she can handle a couple of bruises."
Buck sat back and let the two of them talk. He'd gotten to know Sal a little over the past week or so and he liked the guy. Even if he was still kind of intimidated by him.
But it was clear he cared about Tommy and Buck was happy Tommy had a best friend like him. Someone who would drop everything to be there for him. Someone who would always have his back.
Though it was also frustrating that between Sal, the hospital staff, Tommy's crew from Harbor, and various members of the 118, Buck had barely had a moment alone with him.
And he didn't need an audience for what he wanted to tell him.
"I promised Torey I'd take her up to see the lights."
"So save it for her next birthday." Sal argued and Buck realised he'd zoned out and didn't have a clue what they were talking about. "Or wait until she turns 21 and take her to Vegas."
"Oh sure. 'happy birthday sweetheart, you'll get your present in 11 years' I'm sure she'll understand." Tommy said sarcastically and Sal laughed.
"You know she'll remember. And then Bella will want to go too when she turns 21. So you better make sure you get back in that chopper so you can take my girls to Vegas when they're old enough."
Tommy groaned.
"When Isabella is 21, I'll be..." he shook his head. "I don't want to think about that."
Sal sat back in his chair.
"They grow up way too fast." he settled on. "Feels like only yesterday that she couldn't even wrap her little hand all the way around my finger, and now she's talking about inviting boys to her birthday party."
Buck did his best to focus on the conversation, even if he didn't know Sal's family, but he kept zoning out and his eyelids were getting heavy. He hadn't exactly had a good night's sleep at Tommy's bedside, and now the worst seemed to be behind them, the lack of sleep was starting to catch up to him.
"Evan." someone squeezed his hand. "Evan, hey, wake up."
"Wha-what?" he blinked the sleep from his eyes and sat up straighter. "I'm here, I'm awake. I'm here. Are you ok?" he searched Tommy's face for any sign of discomfort or even pain."
"I'm ok. But you just fell asleep sitting up. Why don't you go home to get some rest. in an actual bed."
Buck frowned.
"I'm not leaving you. I'm fine. I just... closed my eyes for a second. I'm fine now, I promise."
"You sound like my daughter when she doesn't want to go to bed." Sal cut in. "She's 8. And I usually pick her up and throw her over my shoulder and take her to bed anyway. So don't try me, Buckley."
Tommy laughed a little but then turned serious.
"Evan, you're exhausted. Why don't you call Howie to take you home. Just for a couple of hours." he pleaded. "I've got Sal here to keep me company, and all these wires stuck to me so they can make sure I'm alright... I'm ok now, I promise. It's your turn to rest now."
"I'm fine." Buck insisted. "I'll get a coffee from the machine later. I'm fine."
"Evan..."
"Tommy, I love you, but please stop trying to get me to leave. I'm not leaving until you are." Buck told him, and brushed a kiss over Tommy's knuckles to emphasise his point.
"Ev... I... You... Did you... mean... that...?"
"I'm not leaving you."
"Not that... the... other thing..."
"The other thing?" Buck mumbled and tried to replay the last part of their conversation in his mind. Tommy, I love you. "Oh... t-that... I..."
"It's ok. You don't have to explain. You're exhausted, I get it. It's fine." Tommy rambled.
"No, I... I... did.. do... mean it. I just... didn't... realise?"
"I'm going to... go buy some cigarettes." Sal said and got up, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.
"You don't smoke." Tommy pointed out.
"I'll start." Sal replied and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving the two men alone.
"Are you cold? Do you want me to fluff up your pillow? Do you want some water? Do you want me to go so you can sleep?" Buck rambled, fussing with Tommy's blanket.
"Evan... tell me... did you mean it? It's fine if you didn't. I can handle it. Just tell me. It's alright. We're just having fun, right? You didn't sign up for all of this. It's fine. You can just go. I'll call you when I'm better. Maybe we can go to that club you found online the other day. I mean, it's gonna be a while before I can dance again but... -"
"Tommy!" Buck interrupted. "Shut up. Please." he carefully sat down on the bed next to Tommy's hip and put his hand on his uninjured leg. "I did mean it. I just... didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. I wanted to make it romantic. Maybe a candlelit meal at home. Some music playing in the background, maybe a nice glass of wine... and then I'd take your hand..." he paused to do just that. "And I'd look into your eyes. And I'd tell you that these past few months have been amazing, That you have been amazing. That you make me happier than I ever thought I could be." he carefully leaned in to press a kiss to Tommy's lips. "And then I'd tell you I love you. I love you so much. And then in a perfect world, you'd say it back and we'd have the best night of our lives."
Tommy smiled.
"That sounds amazing. And I love you too."
"You do?"
"Yeah. It's kind of scary... I've never felt this way about anyone before... and definitely not this quickly... but yeah, yes I do love you Evan."
Buck leaned in for another kiss.
"I really wish we could do more right now. I wish I could hold you." he gently ran his hand up and down Tommy's good arm.
"I know... Me too."
"When you get out of here, I'm going to cook for you. All of your favourite foods. I even found a recipe for spumoni online and I'm going to make it for you." Buck promised. "It probably won't be as good as your grandma's, though, but I’ll settle for second place." he joked.
"I'm sure I'll love it. Because I love you."
"I love you too." Buck replied. "And I could really get used to hearing you say that."
"Good thing I'm planning on saying it a lot then."
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soldearestsoulmate · 21 hours ago
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Character + Prompt/Request:
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Sol x GN!Reader, for the beginning, then Sol and GN!Reader (spoiler. you break up)
One angsty torturing of Sol coming right up! pfff <3 (More could of been added to this...A continuation? Maybe Reader comes back...Even after all the red flags there, and suspecting what was done...What if they still come back? Only time may tell. lol)
Warnings: Attempted drugging with sleeping pills, manipulation, toxic relationship.
“Why would you put so much hope in me? Things have clearly never worked out for me!”
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Rarely he rose his voice at you, unless he really was affected by his emotions, which clearly he was right now.
You've heard him say this before though, done this before. Over and over again, things go well, then they fall, then you work to try to rebuild it all with him, for him.
You loved him, you did. Cared for him deeply. But everyone has their limits, and you finally reached yours.
"You're right...They haven't, and maybe it's a sign this won't work out after all." His eyes widened at your words. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out at first. Then he started to panic, you could see it clearly, he quickly grabbed your hands, with pleading eyes.
"NO! THIS WILL WORK! IT WILL! IT HAS TO! YOU'RE MY SOULMATE AFTER ALL! WE'RE MEANT TO BE!" You felt his hold tighten, it was starting to hurt...
"Sol...Maybe you've been wrong though? What kind of soulmate can't make their love truly happy?...Help them with their problems when needed most? Make them more happy than sad, and feel more love than sorrow? That's no soulmate...at least one you deserve. You deserve better."
"No no no please don't say that. Don't believe any of that. I'm sorry! I'm sorry I keep screwing this up! I keep making it hard for you, for us! But I'll try, I'm trying! I'll do better. I'll--I'll try therapy again. I'll talk to Hyugo and--"
"And what? We repeat this all over again? Sol...Please...You know we've been hanging on by a thread for too long...I love you, I really do but...I love you too much to keep making you suffer like this...I...I can't stand to see you hurt anymore...And I know I'm mostly to blame for it all..."
"NO! YOU'RE NOT! IT'S HIS FAULT! ALL ICHABOD'S FAULT! EVEN AFTER RIDDING OF HIM HE STILL--"
"...What?"
Sol let his grip go, taking a step back, realizing what he said. "I mean...I..."
"Sol...What about Crowe? What do you mean 'ridding of him'?"
"P-pumpkin...I can explain. Let me just--" Sol attempted to hold your hands again but you stepped back, moved away from him. Eyes widened in confusion and fear.
"...What happened to Crowe? Solivan, god help me if you did something to him--"
"Pumpkin please! I swear it's not like that! Just let me explain and--"
"Then explain right now what happened to him. Explain or I will call the cops." Sol felt his heart skip a beat and tighten from your threat. Yet he forced a smile, trying to act calm.
"Of course...But let me please make you a drink, some tea, it'll help calm you while I explain...Okay? Please..." Sol's pleading eyes never failed to have a affect on you...So you nodded and let him go get that drink for you.
As Sol left the room, he texted Hyugo, a simple text, saying "They found out." sent out and then he put the phone away to focus on you.
He went to the kitchen to prepare that tea he promised, but pulled out something he thought he'll never have to use again.
"...You just need some sleep, pumpkin. I promise you. It'll all be better soon." He softly said this as he mixed in the pills into your drink. Then looked at the drink in his hands. He knew this had to be done, but wished it didn't come to this again. "I'll make this better again. I promise..."
After a moment of making peace with this decision with himself, he made his way back to the room where you were at.
"Here you go, pumpkin. One warm cup of tea made with lov--" Sol froze as he entered the room, to see no sight of you. Then saw the window wide open, your one and only exit taken. He didn't even care about the cup of tea he dropped, that both shattered and spilled over his shoes.
All he was focused on now was running to the window, to look around outside, in hopes of seeing you but you were nowhere to be found.
"PUMPKIN?! Y/N!" His breathing quickened, his heart raced, he felt his panic rising more as he started to pace the room. Looking for a sign of where you could of went. He even flipped the house upside down for a possible chance of finding you, hoping you were just hiding but you weren't there. You were gone.
Then with trembling hands he grabbed his phone to try to call Hyugo but kept messing up. He was scared, not over you getting the cops after him though. He was scared of losing you, of you being away from him.
He wasn't thinking straight anymore. He left the house in a panic now to look for you, to find you and bring you back home. To make this all right, but you wouldn't be found...Not anytime soon that is...
So he'll just run, and search for you for hours, calling you out, begging and pleading for you to come back. All while he ignores Hyugo's panicked texts and calls...
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