#i don't really remember much of my dreams thou

[nightingale-prompts]

Finding Batboy

First| Previous | Next

Phantom

King

Fenton

Apprentice

Batboy

He just wanted to be Danny. Just Danny, nothing else.

But who was Danny anymore?

Danny was a 14-year-old boy who died in a tragic accident. Danny had a decent life with friends and a sister who he loved. Danny wanted to be an astronaut and loved the stars. Danny had an astrology phase that made him so annoying to everyone but Sam. Danny liked dogs and cats hated him for no reason no matter how much he loved them. Danny wanted to join the robotics club with Tucker. Danny still snuck into his sister's room when he was scared to sleep in her bed.

But Danny is dead. Danny has been dead for years now.

He missed being Danny.

Now he was Phantom.

No past.

No home.

No family.

But if that was true, what did that make Dick?

Just another person that he would have to leave behind. It wouldn't be long. History doesn't repeat but it rhymes. It can't last. It won't.

Danny flew to some abandoned factory located somewhere in Gotham. He hadn't really paid much attention. He just needed a desolate place to land. Somewhere even the ghosts have long abandoned.

Truthfully Danny didn't want to be alone. A part of him felt the urge to find that revenant that he had met. Something that felt familiar to him, someone that could understand.

But right now Danny wanted to rest and he wasn't picky about where. He wrapped his wings in a tight cocoon and plopped on the ground. His sleep was deep, more than he ever remembered having before, except once.

Danny walked through the halls of a spiraling tower that overlooked the Ghost Zone. The tower was decorated with stars and moons. Mist hovered just above the floor creating a icy blue carpet. Ghost sheep napped in corners. The scent of poppy and pine filled the air.

As Danny ascended to the top he met with a familiar face. Nocturne the ghost of dreams. The ghost's thick bridged nose reminded Danny of that of a sheep that matched his curled ramhorns. His red eyes with horizontal pupils reminded him of a demonic ram he had seen in a horror movie once. Danny could practically hear that line again: "Would thou like to live deliciously?"

It still gave Danny chills.

"Please refrain from making such comparisons." Nocturne said, his voice deep but soft at the same time.

Danny had gotten to know Nocturne some time ago. Apparently, he and Clockwork were close. They shared a high rank among ghosts as they were abstract manifestations rather then being that were once living like some. The hierarchy of ghosts was complex, and Nocturne was not someone to look down on.

"Nox, why am I here?" Danny said standing before the seven-foot frame of the amorphous ghost.

"You are spending too much time in the material realm. If you don't get time back in the realm to which you belong you'll go mad. It's already starting to happen. I stole your mind away for a bit to give you a mental break but your body is already starting to break down." Nocturne said waving a finger at him.

"My body and brain are fine Nox." Danny said crossing his arms.

Nocturne picked the boy up with one hand and held him at eye level.

"You are having trouble shifting are you not? Its not coming as easily as it should. The more attached you get to a form without the energy from our world to break it up the worse it will be. The Ghost of Time has already told me of the problem. You must stay here for the time being and recover. It is what's best. Mental weakness is the worst one can suffer and the remedy is sleep." Nocturne's breath smelled like warm milk and cinnamon. It calmed Danny's nerves and made his eyes heavy.

Clockwork had put him up to this. That old man...really was....annoying....Zzzz.

Back in the world of the living and awake mass panic has broken out.

Batboy is currently missing and Nightwing is not handling it well. The entirety of the Gotham Vigilantes team has been notified and is searching the cities of Gotham and Bludhaven.

"Have you searched the docks?" Nightwing asked frantically as he searched every rooftop in the city.

"I'm working on it. Do you really think he's here?" Red Robin said scanning every unit on the lot.

Red Hood didn't know what the BatBoy kid looked like other than the whole wings thing. If his little buddy Phantom could help it would help.

Although they had a slight resemblance Jason could see too many differences when looking at the pictures. Phantom had round ears, and silver hair that moved like fire and looked like a human. Batboy had long sharp ears, claws, pointy teeth, blueish-green skin, wings, and a white fluff around his neck. Clearly, they were different.

Batman searched the dark allies of Gotham as Signal and Orphan split up to cover as much ground as possible. Oracle searched every camera from the past few hours for the boy.

The good news was that Batboy was found. The bad news was who found him.

"Poor little Bluebird lost his fledgling and Batsy is looking for the lost pup. I should let them know that the little guy has been found! Ahahahaha!"

[seagull-energy]

BUCKLE UP, FOLKS, IT'S TIME FOR SOME BIG THOUGHTS ABOUT SEPTEMBER 29THS NEWSLETTER ENTRY! (this took so long omg, I got very busy) VERY long post incoming.

First of all, the entire barrow scene is INCREDIBLY creepy, but I want to highlight this bit in particular:

'What in the name of wonder?' began Merry, feeling the golden circlet that had slipped over one eye. Then he stopped, and a shadow came over his face, and he closed his eyes. 'Of course, I remember!' he said. 'The men of Carn Dûm came on us at night, and we were worsted. Ah! the spear in my heart!' He clutched at his breast. 'No! No!' he said, opening his eyes. 'What am I saying? I have been dreaming. Where did you get to, Frodo?'

Hey, what's happening here??? Is Merry being possessed by the unhoused spirit of a man of Arnor?? This is another one of those things that is just dropped in, never explained, and then moved past and it's REALLY SCARY.

-

Then, does this line remind anyone else of Macbeth? Specifically the scene where he sees the line of Banquo's descendants. Like, compare these two texts:

The hobbits did not understand his words, but as he spoke they had a vision as it were of a great expanse of years behind them, like a vast shadowy plain over which there strode shapes of Men, tall and grim with bright swords, and last came one with a star on his brow.

A show of eight kings, the eighth king with a glass in his hand, and Banquo last. MACBETH  Thou art too like the spirit of Banquo. Down! Thy crown does sear mine eyeballs. And thy hair, Thou other gold-bound brow, is like the first. A third is like the former. [...] A fourth? Start, eyes! What, will the line stretch out to th’ crack of doom? Another yet? A seventh? I’ll see no more. And yet the eighth appears who bears a glass Which shows me many more, and some I see That twofold balls and treble scepters carry.

Obviously it's not a one-to-one comparison, but the Vibes are similar. (The use of the phrase 'crack of doom' in the Macbeth passage is also interesting, although I think that's probably a coincidence rather than anything else) LotR obviously has other well-known Macbeth connections, but this is one I only just noticed. (I really hope this comes off as similar to someone else and I'm not just coming up with nonsense)

-

As soon as his back was turned, a dark figure climbed quickly in over the gate and melted into the shadows of the village street.

I LOVE THIS MOMENT because reading it for the first time, anyone's first assumption is that this is going to be a Black Rider, but (spoilers) IT'S NOT! What a brilliant little subversion!

-

Frodo, Pippin, and Sam decided to join the company. Merry said it would be too stuffy. 'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of the air. Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!'

If only they'd listened to Merry... I feel like Merry's practicality and good sense gets overlooked a lot. In these early chapters his status as 'most well traveled of the group' really comes across

-

Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits.

Words cannot express how much I love this description (and Strider's introduction as a whole)

-

There is an inn, a merry old inn beneath an old grey hill, And there they brew a beer so brown That the Man in the Moon himself came down one night to drink his fill. [...]

*The Cat and the Moon from the LotR musical starts blasting in my head*

-

And now... the Aragorn list... (my thoughts are in list format because otherwise I will just be pasting large chunks of the entry here, and I've already done enough of that)

what was he doing behind the hedge on the Road???

"I slipped over the gate just behind them." and there's the payoff to that spooky moment earlier!!! It goes from 'oooh a Black Rider might have followed them' to 'nope, it was actually just this dude who wants to help them' to 'OH SHIT THE BLACK RIDERS WERE ALREADY HERE' a little later. Good stuff :D

"a secret that concerned me and my friends" I'm curious which friends he means here. Probably the Dunedain, maybe the sons of Elrond as well? Anyway, it's a fun little note

Okay now I need to break the list format because WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT ARAGORN'S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE RIDERS

'[...] They will come on you in the wild, in some dark place where there is no help. Do you wish them to find you? They are terrible!' The hobbits looked at him, and saw with surprise that his face was drawn as if with pain, and his hands clenched the arms of his chair. The room was very quiet and still, and the light seemed to have grown dim. For a while he sat with unseeing eyes as if walking in distant memory or listening to sounds in the Night far away.

So uh, Aragorn doesn't just know OF the Riders, he knows the Riders. He's obviously speaking from experience here, and iirc this is never expanded upon. What happened between them? And when did it happen?

'[...]I am afraid my only answer to you, Sam Gamgee, is this. If I had killed the real Strider, I could kill you. And I should have killed you already without so much talk. If I was after the Ring, I could have it – NOW!'   He stood up, and seemed suddenly to grow taller. In his eyes gleamed a light, keen and commanding. Throwing back his cloak, he laid his hand on the hilt of a sword that had hung concealed by his side. They did not dare to move. Sam sat wide-mouthed staring at him dumbly.   'But I am the real Strider, fortunately,' he said, looking down at them with his face softened by a sudden smile. 'I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will.'

Chills. I love him. So much. Also, SURPRISE! It's art time!!

[ID: A digital drawing of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. He has pale skin and shoulder length dark brown hair. He is wearing a brown quilted vest, brown trousers, a cream shirt with puffy sleeves, and a dark green cloak. He is looking slightly down and to his left (image right). His left hand is resting on his chest and his right hand is resting on a sword belted at his waist. The drawing has dark, blue-gray lighting and the background is a rough blue-gray rectangle. /end id]

Andddd now for one more thought: there is no mention of him having a second sword, which implies that his ONLY WEAPON in these DANGEROUS TIMES is just the shards of Narsil. Unhinged behavior, I love that for him

Moving on from Aragorn now! (although I will have many more things to say about him later)

-

'[the Black Rider] seemed to make off up the Road, eastward,' continued Merry. 'I tried to follow. Of course, it vanished almost at once; but I went round the corner and on as far as the last house on the Road.'

MERRY. WTF. Okay so this is 1) extremely brave and 2) not actually a terrible idea in theory. Trying to find out where the Rider was going and what it was doing would be smart, IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE ENEMY'S MOST DANGEROUS SERVANTS THAT SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS

-

[Merry said] "I could hardly help myself. I seemed to be drawn somehow."

FORESHADOWING????? Actually looking at both this and the thing with the wights that I talked about at the beginning of this ramble, merry actually has a pretty strong link with the wraiths from the beginning, which is INTERESTING!

-

Okay I think that's everything I wanted to say. I'm so sad this took me so long to write because now there's been a whole WEEK of entries that I haven't talked about or done art for :((( Weathertop at least will probably get some love at some point, but rn my art brain is telling me to draw the entire cast of the musical so we'll see how I balance things :)

[aftgficrec]

Hey! I love your page and getting fic recs! Do you have any fics where Neil goes or agrees to go to therapy? I’m good with Bee or someone else as the therapist too. It can be canon or an au. Thanks so much! :))

I was pleasantly surprised by how much we found for you! -A

previous recs:

‘another life to live’ here

‘Oakland’ here (completed)

‘you’ve been locked in here forever (and you just can’t say goodbye)’ here (updated)

‘If it means protecting you (I’ll pay my dues)’ here (updated)

‘Interlaced’ here (updated)

‘Regrowth,’ ‘To Be Close With You Is To Be Close With Myself,’ ‘I took a breath and took the knife,’ and ‘flashes of intimacy’ ch 4 here

‘call me in the afternoon’ here

‘The Wild Fox Den’ and ‘Roses Grow Between Bone’ here

‘(My Heart) Pierced By a Pin’ here (completed)

‘The Sun Still Rises’ here (updated)

‘day by day’ here

‘the shuffling of cards’ here

‘Ain’t it fun’ here

‘Breathe, idiot’ here

‘Healing’ series part 1 here, part 3 here (completed)

‘The Fear of Being Known’ here

‘That one party’ series and ‘keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?)’ here

‘Affection can be shown in so many ways’ here

‘Ghost of You’ here 

‘Make This Leap (Geronimo)’ here

‘Tenuous’ here

‘There is Nothing You Can Say’ here (completed)

‘of ice blue eyes & twisted veins’ here

‘don't break the glass’ (completed) here

‘Bad Apple’ here 

‘Phantom Pains’ here

‘Therapy’ here

‘Birds of a Feather’ here (updated)

‘In which Neil had Aspergers and Andrew finds out.’ here 

‘For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry’ here (updated)

‘I Wanna Get Better’ here 

‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ parts 6 & 8 here

and more:

‘Ember’ here (completed)

‘leave the room (with a little dignity)’ here

‘Art Hoe’ here

‘Blame It On My Youth’ here (updated)

‘Black as is the Raven, He’ll Get a Partner’ (here)

‘Our body’ series, part 1 here, part 3 here, part 5 here

‘and all the roads will disappear’ here

‘crossed out’ here

‘Double Trouble’ series here

‘i had a dream (where you couldn't hear me screaming)’ and ‘hold me close, in fact bury me’ here 

‘Just closed eyes with nothing behind’ here

‘doubt thou the stars be fire’ here

‘SCAR TISSUE’ here

‘Lighter Fluid’ here

you may also like:

‘The Sound’ here

historians by cielalune [Rated M, 21508 Words, Complete, 2023]

He remembers when she didn’t smell of ash, but perfume. The times they’d play the radio to fill the quiet of the car, and she’d hum along. How she never missed a single exy practice, and cheered for him each time. She wasn’t all too different from Cass in the end. Just because she was dead didn’t mean she was buried. Five times Neil tries to come to closure about the person Mary Hatford was, and the one time he accepts who she came to be.

tw: heavily referenced child abuse, tw: heavily referenced rape/noncon, tw: heavily referenced csa, tw: heavily referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: sleep paralysis, tw: depressive episode, tw: flashbacks with blood & gore, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: victim blaming

Mommy Dearest by chronically_peach [Rated G, 915 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil doesn’t talk about his mother much but Andrew knows it’s a touchy subject for the redhead. After a session with Betsy Neil admits he’s been thinking about his mother and allows Andrew a glimpse into who Mary Hatford really was.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Pain of a Forgotten Face series by Rose_vine [Collection, 2 complete works, Updated 2021]

Part 1: Pain of a Forgotten Face [M, 3086 Words] Neil Josten is awoken by a face in his nightmares from twelve years ago, a face he barely remembers. When he tries to brush it off and go to practice, he realizes too late that some memories refuse to let themselves be forgotten.

tw: ptsd, tw: panic attacks, tw: nightmares, tw: hallucinations, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: blood/gore

Part 2: A Hand to Hold Me Back From The Cliff [Not Rated, 2132 Words] After Neil collapses on the court from a flashback from when he was younger, Andrew convinces him to go to therapy. This is his first session with Bee, and it is only Andrew at his side that gives him the strength to walk through the door.

tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

After the Beep by kanekei [Rated T, 1030 Words, Incomplete, Updated Sept 2023]

Neil works through his relationship with his dead mother by leaving her voice messages that she'll never hear. It’s healthy, Bee says. He can’t help but think having the Minyards as patients has skewed her perception of what that word means. The number you have reached is not available. Please leave your message after the beep.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced violence

The Foxes by akaashisramen [Not Rated, 3386 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023]

Trans Neil is on the run from his father and goes to his uncles house. His uncle promises him protection and allows him to play Exy as long as he goes to group therapy to process his mothers death.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: graphic nightmares, tw: implied/referenced torture

someday, we'll grow by nopunintended [Rated G, 2078 Words, Complete, 2021]

Andrew and Neil see Betsy for a couple's therapy session per Andrew's request.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Couples Therapy by P0tatonoah [Rated T, 2014 Words, Complete 2020]

I got a lot of comments (like 3 or 4) on my breakup fic asking for a part 2 where Neil and Andrew patch things up and live happily ever after… This is not it. But you can read it as an alternative ending if you want. 

tw: implied/referenced nonconsensual touch, tw: implied/referenced violence

NB: find P0tatonoah’s andreil break up fic ‘Home...?’ here

They sicken of the calm, they who know the storm by EdgySpaghetti [Not Rated, 3162 Words, Complete, 2023]

After storm there always comes the sun. People born into the storm, who growing up sees only black clouds and lightnings striking everywhere, just learn how to live with it, how to protect themselves from cold, wind and rain. They recognize the pattern, know that lightning will struck sooner or later and are prepared for it. What are those people to do when there is no more dark clouds? They don't know how to live in this environment, how to dress to not get too hot and how to prevent potential sunburnt. They never had to do that before. They're still expecting the lightnings.

tw: ptsd, tw: anxiety, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: anger issues

Can I finally stop running now? by gracefromspace [Rated T, 12110 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil is intrigued by a blonde baker with piercings, two therapy cats and strong arms.

tw: heavily referenced torture, tw: flashbacks with blood/gore, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: anxiety, tw: negative self image

can't blame it on my youth by PoolToast22 [Rated G, 2650 Words, Complete, 2022]

The one where Neil Josten is Fine TM. But he's also in therapy. And today Bee decided to ask him that question.

hold on to happiness by minyarday [Rated T, 551 Words, Complete, 2020]

"self esteem had never been something Neil cared about. when you are a runaway that don't even have a place to call home, you learn to prioritize certain things and forget others" only that now he has the time to think about it

I'll Come Back To You by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 6900 Words, Complete, 2022]

Some of the things he’s learned today feel like stories about someone else: Neil switched to playing striker at a tiny high school in Arizona. Aaron lives in Chicago with his wife. Andrew’s cousin calls Neil every Tuesday, because Andrew is too stubborn to pick up the phone himself. But other things are clear truths, even if they’re more abstract: Neil’s mother died. Andrew is safe. Neil was supposed to stay, but part of him is gone. - - - - It's about dreams, reality, trust, patience, and determination. It's about making promises and keeping them. You'll figure out the rest.

tw: car accidents, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced violence

I will help you swim by unojonex [Rated E, 11699 Words, Incomplete, Updated Oct 2022]

He’s slowed down, stayed in one place for more than a few months and it's all caught up with him. In his sleep, ghosts of his past haunt him. And they have no mercy. Dreams and imagination swirl together in a confusing mix of nightmares that don't go away, even when he's awake. -- basically Neil and Andrew getting together while also dealing with a lot of trauma

tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/refererenced torture, tw: heavily referenced child abuse, tw: suicide ideation, tw: graphic nightmares with blood/gore, tw: dissociation, tw: hallucinations, tw: panic attacks

But Touch My Tears with Your Lips by transjorts [Rated M, 4070 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2022]

Andrew is sitting across from him, expression neutral, fork in hand. He’d dragged the tinnes across the plate—purposefully, if Neil had to guess. Andrew has already cut the burrito up into tiny pieces and spears one morsel on the fork, lifting it to his mouth. “Hi,” Neil says. Andrew chews, very deliberately. “Do you feel better?” Neil frowns. “What?” Andrew eats another bite. “Did all that running make you feel better?” Neil sighs and glances down, noticing that his water has been refilled. He takes a sip. “No.”

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced sexual assault, tw: nightmares, tw: dissociation

let's just sit awhile by artiest [Rated M, 17291 Words, Complete. 2022, Locked]

Neil and Andrew don't have to keep fighting for their survival. They can settle now. It's hard, but they're trying. OR: During Neil's second year in Palmetto State, him and Andrew learn to take care of each other.

tw: severe mental health issues, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced torture,  tw: nightmares with blood/gore, tw: flashbacks,  tw: dissociation, tw: violence, tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: vomit, tw: alcohol abuse/alcholism

I could never give you peace by freshtaylorswiftduck [Rated T, 3407 Words, Complete. 2022]

Neil has both bad and good days. Today is a bad day.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: panic attacks

10 tips to stress less, without the tips by lumos_max [Rated T, 5404 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Fall 2020]

A lonely Neil lets his therapist bully him into checking out the clinic's support group without too much fuss, but little did he know he wouldn't be checking out the group that day, instead meeting a dramatic hunk of a man who drives a fancy car and forgets to wipe the cream off the corner of his lip. It's only fair that Neil tries to do it for him, right?

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

“God, I have my father’s eyes.” by perks_of_being_a_writer [Rated T, 673 Words, Complete, 2022]

This is based on Family Line by Conan Gray. In this short story, Neil is at a therapy appointment where he and Betsy dive into his parental issues. This covers Neil’s abuse from both parents (because, yes, Mary was abusive and a bad mother). This is Neil learning that it's not his fault his parents hurt him and accepting that he is loved.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

"There's blood on my/your hands." by markonasurface (idwir) [Rated T, 4667 Words, Complete, 2018]

The year after his 19th birthday, the other team decides to recreate the bloody locker scene complete with a ‘Happy Birthday, Jr.’ Instead of stuffing everything down, Neil has a complete freak out and sinks into a depression.

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks, tw: ptsd, tw: major depressive episode, tw: homophobia, tw: disordered eating, tw: vomit

Nothing is Safe series by hismiley16 [Rated T/M/E, Collection, 7 complete works, Updated July 2023]

Parts 3 and 7 recced here

Part 4: Written On His Skin [Not Rated, 11344 Words] The Foxes face the Ravens for the first time since Riko's death and things go as well as expected. Andrew is mildly injured on the court and isn't there to protect Neil when the new Evermore captain comes for him after the game. The team sees more than Neil ever wanted them to, including the ghost of Nathaniel he thought he'd buried in Baltimore.

tw: vomit, tw: bullying, tw: nonconsensual touch/assault  tw: dissociation, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced animal death, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

The Josten Anxiety Method by orphan_account [Rated M, 1721 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil talks to Bee about his anxiety.

tw: anxiety, tw: hallucinations, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Looking in the Mirror Never Felt so Good by Trimorphia [Rated T, 8693 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil Josten's journey to becoming a real person.

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Achilles Come Down by infernalstars [Rated M, 5017 Words, Complete, 2020]

Neil Josten was a liar before he was anything else. In the nest, sometimes his choices were between lying and dying. He’d had a decent amount of self preservation that he’d chosen the former. But now, being free, the world felt so heavy. He wished he’d chosen dying.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: graphic suicide attempt, tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: eating disorders focus, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: vomit, tw: depression 

prompt: Neil x therapy bullet fic by @sadboyayeron [Tumblr, 2020]

[maglors-anion-gap]

Fingolfin for the character asks!

I'm not beating the "never answers asks" allegations, am I?

[ask game] edited for "not a tv show"

Why I like them

DILF. I want to do indecent things to him. Um ok, serious answers only. I kind of just realized this, but there's maybe a parallel between him and feanor and manwe and morgoth. (mandatory disclaimer that I like feanor, I'm not comparing him to morgoth, and I dislike attempts to flatten him). In that fingolfin is willing to give feanor a second chance after, lets be honest, feanor screws the pooch. There's obviously some smart politicking going on with that forgiveness speech, but still. Compare it to manwe who believes strongly enough in mercy that he will give morgoth a second chance as well. I know some folks are kind of adamant that there's zero goodwill between feanor and fingolfin, but speaking from experience, shitty sibling relationships often contain that "we're not speaking but I'd still kill for you" (and he does, without a second thought). Just kind of obsessed with the loving your brother so much you dream up a better version of him in your head to forgive. There's more that I like about him, probably even more than this, but this is what's on my mind right now.

Why I don’t

I can't think of anything to put here, love of fingolfin is clouding my judgement. Opening invitations for you or anyone reading this to drop their quibbles with fingolfin. (I'm not holding a mallet behind my back, I promise)

Favorite scene

I have a hard time picking a favorite, but the one I'm rotating in my head right now is one he and fingon share: coming down into alqualonde, seeing the fighting, and joining in without asking questions. Do they think the teleri are trying to prevent the noldor from leaving? Do they correctly know feanor started the fight? Do they join anyway in desperation to leave valinor? Or is fingolfin simply willing to kill for the older brother who can barely stand him just because he doesn't want to lose another family member?

Favorite line

Come, open wide, dark king, your gastly brazen doors! Come forth, whom earth and heaven abhors! Come forth, o monstrous craven lord, and fight with thine own hand and sword, thou wielder of hosts of banded thralls, thou tyrant leaguered with strong walls, thou foe of gods and elvish race! I wait thee here. Come! Show thy face! (lays of beleriand)

Favorite outfit

Brain go brrr so I don't remember any canon clothing but nailsinmywall drew this picture of him in a massive fur trimmed cloak a while back that it's kind of printed on the backs of my eyelids. That's my fingolfin. He killed that bear himself ( <- to be read in the Ratatouille "with this thumb!!" accent).

OTP

I don't really have OTPs for fingolfin, per se? There are a lot of pairings I like for different reasons, and at different stages of his life. Silly plug for "over the unclear eyes of memory" which I wrote a while ago for trsb but still really like. Reembodied fingolfin/anaire. In my head, anaire is great, I love my anaire. And obvs you know "the room where they do what they don't confess" but I'll drop it here for any followers who missed it. Fingolfin/maglor inadvisable coping.

Brotp

I feel like brotp is such a weird way to phrase it, especially considering they're at each other's throats constantly, but feanor. Low hanging fruit, I know. I'm obsessed with how messy they are though. Otherwise maedhros - which is like, a political union for the ages, and kind of a screwed up thing where they both try to re-do the whole feanor&fingolfin thing but do it right this time (but they can't make it better because feanor's dead, and maedhros isn't feanor because he's the one kneeling for fingolfin, and fingolfin isn't feanor because he's himself but he's not himself because he's king and - haunts the narrative haunts the narrative haunts the-)

Head Canon

I don't care what jirt says. His eyes are BROWN. They are dark BROWN. Also: loves filing paperwork. Devastated when turgon leaves because fingon does not love filing paperwork.

Unpopular opinion

I think the fandom has drifted from "wow the charge against morgoth is so courageous, fingolfin is awesome" to "wow that is super depression-core and kind of a metonym for the future prospects of the noldor" to "... and this makes him less of a good person." which. I have issues with. Yes, ditching your responsibilities as king to commit suicide is not ideal. But, I don't think jirt lauds this as great leadership anywhere in the text (no one sings about it because it's so awful - if it was good, there'd be a song). It's like. Orpheus turns around because he's narratively bound by the audience's human urges of love. Fingolfin does what he does because he's not a person: he's the noldor's narrative rage and suffering and useless perseverance and spite and revenge. The only thing that chaps my ass more is saying it makes him a bad dad. At baseline I kind of hate the circular bad dad discussions but I don't think the solution is to cram more dads onto the list. And I have issues with "losing the fight with despair invalidates you as a parent." Like we already hashed this out with denethor and elwing, let's not do this with every other tolkien parent. And I think it super flattens the complexity of "you need to be a solid figure for your children" vs "you live in unabated misery and you have more interiority than just being a parent."

A wish

Reembodied, gets to see all his family again (and I do mean ALL), repair relationships, have a fancy beverage as a treat, etc etc

5 words to best describe them

charismatic, intelligent, steadfast, beefy, DILF (sorry, I'll see myself out)

My nickname for them

I shan't say - unless ? - no...

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Claimed

How Gore Mary found the best method of 'settling' her newfound daughter (Set in @idiotwithanipad 's Gore AU).

-

For as long as I can remember, I've loved to dance! Whenever I would finish watching a Disney film or one of those old musicals on a Sunday afternoon like Sound of Music or Wizard of Oz, I just wanted to spin and skip and sing forever! Why couldn't real life be like a musical? Why couldn't we just burst into a song and dance to express our emotions?! Surely everyone would be happier for it!

My dream life is now my reality! Perhaps I died from that mega headache I suffered and this is Heaven? Or perhaps I stumbled upon my very own Narnia? I dunno the truth and honestly, I don't give a flying fuck!

Just so long as I can keep dancing.

"Look at thee. Oh, how I love watching you take to thy heel, my darling girl." Mummy praises, bringing her hands together, "Thou dances like a child betwixt angel and nymph!"

Giggles escape my lips as I twirl again, hands above my head.

No one complimented my dancing back when I was...Back in my old home.

'Go do that in your room, you're in my way!' Said the woman who I called Mum but hardly ever looked my way, least of all with the love in her eyes that my new mummy has. Real Mummy, I should say. 'You look like a spazz!' The mean older girl I thought was my sister would say, pointing and laughing with her friends. The boy supposedly my brother would just try to trip me up. Dad...he enjoyed it, would sometimes tell me it was pretty...but never enough to pay for me to have real lesson. And then he died, so...

Shaking my head, I focus on my smile, which Mummy says is beautiful. That's good because I can't seem to stop smiling, hehe. I must be so happy. The past few days have been such a funny blur...

Was it days? I know I fell asleep at one point. But it felt like such a long sleep and as soon as my eyes were open, I was leaping back up onto my feet and tugging at Mummy's hands for us to dance.

Mummy's hands feel ever so sore. Hard, calloused, blistered maybe. It's hard for me to really...'see' what's wrong with Mummy. The world has turned so silly. A swirl of colors and shadows that often don't make sense. It would probably make me feel queasy if I wasn't so energised. A world of beautiful chaos.

The only shining, solid entity is Mummy. A tall silhouette of curves and strength and black locks of hair, surrounded by an aura of gorgeous embers. She is Hekate, Demeter and Hestia all round into one! My mummy: the Goddess, hehe!

I'm about to start my next performance for her when we're, rather rudely, interrupted by the strange fluffy beast. He growls for Mummy's attention.

"Excuse you, Mr. Floof, it's rude to disturb us, hehehe." I gently scald him.

It's not quite clear to me exactly what Mr. Floof is. Mummy's familiar? Servant? Or just her grumpy but oh so cuddly friend?

"Mummy, watch this-."

"Hush, child!" Mummy raises her hand at me.

A little stifled, I shrink, standing still. Mummy's tone is usually so soft with me that it's always a bit of a shocker when it suddenly turns harsh and strict. A sharp reminder to me of Mummy's position. This forest...this strange land, it belongs to her. She may as well be a Queen, though I've yet to meet any other subjects she has except for Mr. Floof.

Crossing my arms, I strain my ears to listen as the grumpy fluffy thing seems to be telling Mummy something, using grunts and possibly sign language with his paws. I really can't see much of him, though my mind conjures up a raggedy brown Direwolf like in Dad's A Game Of Thrones book. Or perhaps a Bear Man like Beorn from the Hobbit.

Mummy is humming as she listens; "I sees. Much appreciate this report, dear ally. I shall go 'vestigate it, I shalls. Silver, my dear?"

"Yes, Mummy?" I pipe, glad I've not been forgotten.

Mummy approaches and strokes my chin; "We must call for a teensy intermit of thy lovely show, little'en. Mummy has to go to work."

"W-work? Hehehe, what kind of work, Mummy?" Despite having studied gods and goddesses for years, the idea of one actually going to 'work' in their role sounded funny, and also intriguing.

A bony hand pats my head; "Nothing you needs be concerned with, swee'heart. It just be 'portent work that Mummy need to do to keep thee safe."

"Can I come? M-maybe I can help?" I offer, fiddling nervously with the velvet coverings on my hands.

For some reason, I feel oddly nervous at the idea of Mummy leaving me alone, like I'm some sort of toddler. But she's been at my side pretty much since my big headache stopped, and Mr. Floof picked me up and carried me to her feet. Fear stings my heart at the idea of her not coming back.

Mummy tuts and kisses my brow; "What a sweet offer, but you ist far too young for such toil, my love. Mummy would feel much better that you stay here and play. Our ally shall protect thee."

Deflated a little, I almost want to argue. But I know Mummy is right. I don't quite have the power that she has. Mummy has promised that I might have, one day, after many many many years of training. But that training won't come unless I can prove myself to be a good girl.

Which means obeying Mummy, always.

Letting out a sigh, I bow my head; "Yes, Mummy."

Her finger taps my nose.

"I shall return in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

"One and a half shakes?!" I plea.

Mummy laughs, raspy but true; "T'is a deal, my dancing angel. See thee soon."

There's a crackle of flames, a waft of thick smoke on sharp winds. And then Mummy is gone, her amber silhouette dissolved.

Close to me, I can smell that pungent scent of wet dog and slight burned leather.

"Wanna watch me dance, Mr. Floof?" I giggle.

A grunt is all I get in response. Dismissive and moody.

Following my nose, I feel my way towards him, colors and shadows continuing to swirl, but no clear beacon for me to focus on without Mummy here.

Finally, my hand finds his....mane?

"Hehehe, come on, you can dance with me! It's super fun!" I say, tugging at the matted fur.

A louder grunt. No, a grumble, followed by a swipe of his paw that lightly throws me back. Then a snarl, like a dog bearing its teeth, warning me not to try that again.

I huff and stomp my foot; "Fine! You don't have to be so mean."

A lower grumble, but he seems to settle. Tired. A worn out old working hound who only wants to rest. I feel a little guilty, but also lonely. Why did Mummy have to leave me? What's so dangerous out there?

I continue to hum and spin but it just isn't as fun without a proper audience. Pretty sure Mr. Floof doesn't care about my dancing. Is he falling asleep?!

With a great big sigh, I fall to sit on my backside on the grass. I've been awake for hours but don't feel the slightest bit tired. Oh, what I'd give to have my video games, or my books, or my tools to practice my craft. Are the gods okay with me not giving any offerings for a while? Or is Mummy the only goddess I need worry about?

Starting to get bored. Restless. My hands are flapping, hungry for stimulation. A thumping begins behind my eyes and I rub my hands over them.

Something thick and wet is caught on my palm. Strange. I'm not crying....What is that?

I sniff my hand. Kinda coppery, hehe...like...

My nose. It's coming from my nose, except it isn't snot, it's...Fuck. I can feel it under my ear too. How didn't I notice that before?

"Wha....What is happening?" I ask, reaching out my hand.

All the funny colors and playful shadows seem far less whimsical. I stumble forward, hand outstretched, because there's nothing...Nothing around me...I'm lost in the dark, I'm...

I wave my hand in front of my face. Nothing. Fuck, no, no, no..

As the truth smacks me in the head, the pain behind my eyes begins to intensify. Like a crack splitting straight through my skull. I jump back up to my feet, cradling my head in my hands.

For months, they'd been getting steadily worse. I complained to Mum, and she snapped at me to stop whinging and see my GP. Doc said I was probably just dehydrated. Sometimes, my vision turned blotchy, like little black dots hovering in front of me, then faded away. I hadn't mentioned that to him, seeing as I had my optician check up in April anyway.

How the fuck have I gone from seeing a few annoying black spots to losing my fucking eyesight overnight?!

Pain flares up, not just from my head, but from each and every bone in my body. My stomach is churning. I've only gotten high a handful of times before and come downs are always the worst; but this?!

What the hell have I been doing?! I...Did I hallucinate seeing a goddess? Some magical, grumpy beast? How long have I been out?

"H-help, hehehe? Is anyone there?! Hahaha."

What the fuck?! Why am I laughing?!

This the scariest moment of my life, I don't wanna fucking laugh!

"Please, hehehe, help me! I can't see! Hahaha. I think I need an ambulance!"

My cheeks are cramping like hell. My fingers touch the corners of my mouth. It's as if the muscles are paralysed. Why can't I stop smiling?! What's happening to me?! Where am I?!

A low growl approaches.

"J-Jess?" I call, daring to hope; "I-is that you, baby girl?"

Had she come to find me? If my mum reported me missing then she'd be the best one to track me down.

Another growl. Maybe a bit softer. A grunt? Less like a dog, more...ape-ish.

Fingers, hairy but very much human, tries to take my hand.

"N-no, no, who are you?! Who are you, what have you done to me?!" I demand, shuffling away, "A-are you keeping me here?!"

More grunts and rumbles, attempts to hold my wrists, my arms. The mute stranger tries to push me to sit back down.

"No, NO!" I wrench myself out from his grip and run.

There don't seem to be any shackles or rope or walls keeping me. There's nothing. I have no idea where the fuck I am.

Outside? I can hear owls hooting and critters scurring. I hear the leaves of trees rustle in the wind. Am I...Am I still in the woods I came in to do my ritual?

It's so hard to think clearly with this agony tearing through my head. All I can do is scream.

-

Oh, Husband, wherever you may be, is thou watching? Dost thou see what miracle hath occurred?!

Our little girl has returned! Praise be!

Never did I think I'ds have reason to sing my thanks to the stars again, not after fate in her cruelest form did cause my heart to harden so. But whether it be thanks to the Lord Jesus or the Queen of Heaven or to one of my darling's heathen gods, I be eternally grateful.

What a delight she is, John. I always knew she woulds have thy tinkling laugh, but she be so much more than I coulds have dreamed. Who gifted her with such pretty hair? And those eyes, oh they is as blue as the Summer sky. But most of all, she is but the sweetest little darling. Such joyful company, with as silly a way with words and stories as I, but also always wanting to help her mother. And how her eyes do fill with such sympathy and sorrow when she takes note of how my scars hurt me so when she wants a cuddle. How she managed to keep such a pure heart whilst being raised by cruel Winter sprites is a wonder.

But oh, John, it hath come at such a cost. She be such a fragile little thing. Blind as a bat, bleedin' that refuses to cease, skinny as a rake and, that which all my folk wisdom cannot explain, cursed to sleep for weeks on end! How I did weep and wail when she did not rouse for those first two morns. Took me right back to that darkest of days when you found our little'en in her cradle, her little chest still as stone.

Except this time, John, her chest did continue to motion ups and downs. Her pretty eyelashes did flutter as she dreamed. Every night there even be the slightest murmur from her lips. She only be sleeping, John. Not gone. Not a shell to rot. Our sleepy girl is all she be.

I did not expect her to rise again, fearing that I may has to search for another hundred lifetimes to find whatever I needs to break the curse. Till then, I lovingly placed her on the softest cornflowers and made sure she be tucked in, cosy as could be. Weeks past, both myself and dear ally kept our vigils. I sang her my lullabies and caressed her hair. Once I dids even catch dear ally curled around her, one paw over her shoulder as he snoozed. Such a kindly creature, deep deep down.

Then came the next rise of the full moon. When I bent down to lay a kiss upon our daughter's brow, after the setting sun, my bones did near collapse 'pon themselves when those sapphire eyes did open again. "Hello, Mummy." She dids say, giggling as if she hath not made me sick with fright, the cheeky little madam.

After conversing with dear ally, I cans only conclude that her spirit be tied to the moon's light. He did discover her on the last full phase. Only when it be at full strength, can it lend my little'en enough power to wake.

T'is awful, John. I will miss her so when she next lays down for her slumbers. But three nights be better than none at all.

I won't lose her again, dear Husband, to thee I pledge. I willst wrap her up, snug as a bug, and make sure nothing comes to harm her.

Hence why I am pained to leave her side in order to check for trespassers 'pon my woods. Mine ally did bring me troubling news of Living folk intruding past the treeline. Legends and warning tales, fuelled by centuries of mine and ally's presence here, have helped to steer people away. 'Spare the fools or the ignorant.

Four are stood in a clearing, gazing down at a spot of dirt and fallen leaves. They be silent as the grave. And then I do see, in how they do hold their hands at their fronts and bow their heads thus, this be just that. Near enough.

Two women, past my age when death took me, I reckon. A younger man and a maiden, maybe only a handful of years older than....

I squint, hovering closer.

The younger wench doth bare a striking resemblance to my little'en. Longer hair, more simple clothing, a harder look in her eyes.

"You ready, Mum? Arsenal are playing at six." The man one prompts, gruffly.

"Fuck sake, Bri, she was our sister." Tuts the maiden, though there's an air of humor to her response, as if she's not truly offended.

One of the older women throws them a sharp look.

"Kids, let your mum take her time! Brian, imagine if this happened to one of your girls!"

"Don't have to. Neither of mine are gonna be hippy freaks doing drugs."

"That had nothing to do with how Louise died."

The boy rolled his eyes; "So they say. Seems a bit of a coincidence to me though, brain aenyrusm ruptures after chugging a whole flask of magic mushroom tea. Nah, bet you if Mum had let them do a proper autopsy, they'd found some sort of link. If not that, then all her time hanging around those weird shops and inhaling that incense messed her up."

"Can you just save your fucking conspiracy theories for another time?" His mother scalds, and I see for the first time the urn she doth hold beneath her arm. "We're here to say goodbye."

"You sure you wanna do it here? She always rabbited on about Stone Henge." The maiden says.

Her mother shrugs; "She wanted a sacred site, she never specified which. Bloody difficult getting a permit to scatter ashes near there anyway. Old woman here was fine with it. Plus it's...where she is now, I guess. She's free. Just like she wanted."

"Karen-" the woman's companion tries.

"It's true, Aunt Sal. We all read her diary. Or 'book of shadows' as she titled it. She never felt like a part of this family, not since Dad died." The maiden shrugs, "Not that it was a surprise, she never made an effort to be part of it."

"Always in her room, talking to herself, or just being weird and embarrassing whenever she did show herself. Any wonder why there was hardly anyone at the funeral?" Her brother cringed; "This was another big cry for attention that blew up in her face...Or inside her head, I guess."

The man one laughed at his own joke and his sister smirked, struggling to suppress her own.

The pieces fall into place as I stare at the urn.

One who fell upon this land...The only maiden to have done so recently is....my little'en. And there she be. Her beautiful body, burned to ashes as I was and stuffed into a scratched vase.

"Anyone smell burning? Sis, did you drop a cigarette?" The man one asks.

"No I didn't. Could murder for one though. C'mon, Mum, let's get it done and leave her alone, like she fucking wanted."

The woman's knuckles whiten as she grips the vase close to her chest.

"I just...Just wish I'd known her. Just wish she hadn't been such a stranger to us. My own daughter." She sighs, sounding more tired than heartbroken.

Her friend grips her shoulder while her son reaches to pat her arm. They both console her, remind her it wasn't her fault, that she was a brilliant mother.

I listen to my embers crackle. A brilliant mother? Tush and flaps!

A thief be all she is! Stealer of little babies!

How long have they abandoned their wicked Fae forms and disguised themselves as regular folk? I peer at the 'mother', trying to catch a peek of pointy ears or hidden wings.

"Well. Goodbye, Louise. Hope you find peace, love, wherever you are." The kidnapper tips the vase upside down and scatters the ashes upon the earth.

At the spot where my little'en did take her final breath of life.

They all begin to leave, not a single tear shed among any of them. I've witnessed folk lay their dogs to rest with more harrowing grief.

How dare they, John?! How dare they steal our little girl to keep as their own, then disrespect her so?!

I'm about to launch a wave of my smoke at them, fuelled by a desire to throttle them with my magic, poison their lungs and burn their hearts out. One of my tendrils lunges close to the mother, the thief, ready to take my revenge after four hundred years when-

A scream. I hear it reach my ears on swift winds.

Silver!

-

"Artemis, Persephone, Pan, Hermes, Hestia, Demeter, Hecate, Apollo, Zeus and Hera," I rattle off as many names as I can, over and over.

Help me, help me, please.

The low grumble of the....thing near me keeps rising now and then, attempting to approach. Every time, I scream, and he shrinks back. Is he what took me? Blinded me? Or was he just the one left to guard me?

Hugging my knees to my chest, I sit and rock myself, pain throbbing through my skull.

This is Hell. This has to be Hell. Worse than any Christian Hell, worse than fire and brimstone. This must be what it means to drown in the river Styx, or be sent to the bottom of the pit of Hades where no light can reach.

Then comes a sudden rush of wind and the faintest orange glow in my lack of vision.

"Darling girl, what ails thee?" A raspy voice asks, "I'm here, sweetheart."

"A-are you talking to me?" I ask, looking in the direction of the voice.

The image from my shroom induced hallucination. The ember woman, the strange goddess. Fuck, am I still high?!

"Who...Who are you?"

"Silver, my love, t'is Mummy." The ember woman kneels down and the warmth she brings is the closest I've come to feeling anything except pain.

"M-Mummy?" I shake my head, face wincing; "Y-you don't sound like my mum, you're not..."

Even the silhouette isn't anything like Mum. Taller, stockier, different haircut. But the stranger's voice, even weaker and stained, is far softer than Mum's impatient snapping.

The shadow tilts her head, as if she's examining me.

"Silver, little'en, is your head causing thee great pains again?"

Was it that obvious? I nod.

"It...It feels like it's gonna explode. A-and my eyes...I can't see anything." My lip wobbles as I start to sob, along with the impulsive giggles, "Please, hahaha. I-I think I need an ambulance. A-and I need someone to call my mum."

"Shh. No need to fret." The figure reaches a hand out towards my head; "I has the best of remedies to makes it all better."

Frowning, I watch as strange shadows seem to swirl and form into slithering limbs around the orange outline of her arm. The smell of burning tickles my nose.

What the fuck-?!

I cry and stumble to my feet, palms raised.

"N-no, haha, stay away from me!"

"Silver-."

"What are you?! A-are you and that other thing working together? D-did you do something to me?!"

The smoke recoils and I can make out the woman raising her hands.

"We has done nought to harm thee, precious girl. Be not afraid. We only wish to take care of thee." She seems to move closer. Not walk...hover?

I shake my head again: "I...I don't need you to do anything, thank you, just...please take me to hospital. I need a r-real doctor..." my hand clutches at my burning skull.

"You be beyond the need of doctors now, my love."

"W-what the fuck do you mean?!" I stagger; "W-why won't you just let me go?"

"Because this be your home now, little'en. Your real home."

Okay so, whoever this orange lady is, she's crazy. Off her rocker. Found a teenager, high as a kite, alone in the woods and then took her back to Zeus knows where to....To what? Blind her, perhaps and then...make me her daughter?!

I should have known that going to summon ancient Pagan gods on a sacred site lost to time should have me ending up in my very own horror movie.

"You're nuts. Hahaha. You're...You're fucking crazy. Just let me go home!"

Turning, I run. I run as fast as my feet can take me. My boots don't fail me, as uneven as the ground often is.

Neither the woman nor the growling man-creature chase after me. This would be a relief if I had a fucking clue where I was going.

Annoyingly, the further away I get from the strange woman, the darker my vision becomes.

Wait....I giggle. Then turn my head.

Another giggle.

Did the first one seem to echo back to me slightly shorter than the second? I experiment, trying to distract myself from the pain. That must mean there's something there. Perhaps a tree? Or a wall? It's not very thin...

Isn't there a way that bats and dolphins use sound to see better than their eyes? Is it possible for me to do the same?

I don't want to learn that kind of skills. I want my normal eyes back. I wanna be able to play my video games properly. I wanna watch movies and see famous sites and sunsets and the moon...I want to see!

"Do you feel better now, Karen?" A familiar voice sounds close by.

I turn my head.

Aunt Sal? What are you...

"A little, I suppose. I've done all I can, I feel."

My feet freeze in place.

"....Mum?" I cry, reaching out my hand.

"Louise is probably throwing a hissy fit from the afterlife. 'I wanted a Viking funeral! You did it all wrong! You didn't play my favorite songs!'"

"Well, funerals are more for the living." Replies Aunt Sal.

"And no one wants to listen to fucking Evanescence." Brian. My brother. Cold and aloof as ever.

My family. They're here.

"Guys? Guys, I'm right here..." I try to feel my way towards their voices; "Mum, it's me, I'm here! I can't see but I'm here!"

"Feel a little guilty." Mum tuts.

"For the last time, there's nothing you could have done. You told her to see a doctor." My sister, practical as always to the point of emotional detachment. A step up from the Mean Girl I'd shared a bedroom with growing up.

"That's just it. She was my youngest. My baby." Mum sighs; "And I feel guilty because...I should be more sad. I feel like I should be tearing my clothes and all that stuff. I'm just...numb."

"It's only been a month. You might still be in shock."

"Hmm. Maybe. Just looking forward to going back to work and getting on with everything. And dreading having them all look at me as 'the mum of the little witch who died from magic mushrooms'."

Died.

I died.

The floor seems to disappear beneath my feet and I fall to my knees.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead.

I died, alone, in those woods...and my own mother is admitting to not giving much of a shit about me. Haha. Hahaha. I'd always thought she was just really busy with work or grieving Dad but...No. She just...says it. Holds nothing back.

"M-Mum...." I cry, just wanting her to hear me. Just one last time; "M-Mum, I..."

Something pushes into me. Then through me.

I scream as the pain in my head is doubled by the agonising discomfort in my torso. Tears stream down my cheeks as the voices of my family fade away. They walked through me. Haha, as in life, so in death, hahahahaha.

My hands reach for my face. My fucking smiling face. I want to rip it off. I want to pull my own tongue out to stop fucking laughing.

Just make it stop, make it stop, MAKE IT STOP!!!!

My hands start to warm again, as if a little fire had been lit beside me. I lower them from my face to see the shining glow of the strange woman again.

"I...Am I d-dead?" I ask her. Because if she can see me but they couldn't, then...

"No, darling girl. No." She assures me; "T'is all part of a great deception. Thou art brimming with life."

"B-but my mum-."

"That wasn't thy mother. Not in truth. Hear me, child. I be your mother. Your name be Silver Guppy. That....wicked wench dids steal yous from me, many years ago. You woulds not remember, you were just a babe in arms."

Mum....wasn't my mum? But that can't be right. I had her face, Dad's eyes. Everyone says I look just like my sister, despite being "the plain one". I've even watched the video Dad filmed of me in the hospital after I'd been born.

"That...That doesn't make sense...."

"I know, little'en. That why it be such a clever trick. Only Fae hands be capable of such convincing deceipt."

Fae? As in fairies? I would say I knew such things only existed in books or the hidden realm of gods and spirits but...if I'm dead then...that's where I am now.

Defeated, I hug myself tight and cry.

"Oh, love. Let it all out. That's it." The strange woman encourages, moving down close to me; "Forget about them, my angel. They was not worthy of a child as lovely as thee. You is safe now. Please. Let me look after thee."

Her hand is moving closer to me again. I gulp, tensing up.

"A-are you gonna...drug me?"

A slight laugh responds; "No, darling girl. No devils juice. No trickery. Just....a kiss. If thee be willing?"

A kiss?

I raise my head. Her eyes, two glowing tiny balls of flame, look back with fondness.

"Good girl." She smiles and leans in.

What touches my brow isn't a pair of lips. A set of teeth and leathery, wrinkled skin. I'm ready to cringe back before...

I close my eyes. The pain. It's gone.

Just like that.

Fingers as hard as the nimble branch of a tree strokes my hair; "All better, my love?"

"W-what did you do?"

"Told you. Just gave you the most powerful medicine there be." She taps my nose; "A kiss from Mummy."

Mummy. There it is again.

"Now open your eyes, little'en."

I shake my head; "I...There's no point. There's nothing for me to see, haha."

"Trust Mummy, darling. C'mon. Open them pretty eyes."

Taking a breath, I indulge the mad but magical woman. Slowly, my lids open, and I'm expecting the same darkness and faint glow of her mysterious orange aura...

I gasp.

It's back. My sight is back! Laughter, true and honest, erupts from my belly as I finally see where I am!

A forest. A forest that looks vaguely similar to the one I came to to do my ritual. But so much more beautiful! The sky has a beautiful pink tinge to it, same color as my fringe! The trees have ebony barks and shining silver leaves. It's like a forest on a whole other world.

And the woman...the stranger...Fuck, she's beautiful! I hesitate to believe she's even human. She has the body of a tall, stocky woman in her early forties...but gorgeous black locks that fall to her shoulders, a dress of sparkling black with an ethereal orange glow all around her.

Am I truly not high? Hehehe, I can't tell anymore. Is this real?!

"W-where am I?" I ask again.

"Told you, sweetheart. You is home. That be all the answer you needs." She smiles at me.

"...H-how did you cure my eyes?"

"Everything be hooked up to the brain, darling girl. If your eyes no longer work to sends it pictures then I shall sends them myself."

I'm not sure how that works but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

It's no longer dark. I'm no longer in pain.

"My love, you look famished! How about a sweetie?"

A...sweetie?

"I...I can eat?"

The woman smiles and holds out her hand. A slice of double chocolate cake materialised on her palm. My mouth instantly waters.

"...For me...?"

She nods. I dare to reach forward. I pick it up. The sponge and icing feels solid as the ground beneath my feet. Cautious but suddenly ravenous, I bring it to my lips. I bite. Fuck, it's real! How long since I've eaten anything?!

I moan in pleasure, knees buckling again. The woman chuckles as I devour the whole piece.

"Seems I has a sugary tooth to spoil." She teases.

My stomach flutters as I blush, suddenly feeling like a little kid, for the first time in....well. Many, many years.

"Oh...You dear little thing." The woman reaches to touch my face, wiping away some icing with her thumb; "They mades you grow up much too soon, didn'ts they. Much too fast...and much alone...Be that true?"

I duck my head. How did she know? Did she hear what they said about me?

"T'will all be different now, my darling. You will wants for nothing here. Whatever my girl wants, Mummy will provide."

I swallow the last morsel and rub at my arm; "Hehe, that's kind but you don't need to-."

"Is not about need, Silver, love. Is about want. I wants to take care of you. I wants thee to be a happy little girl."

I blink, "Why?" People never give for nothing. There's always a catch.

"Because that be what real Mummies do." She says.

Real...Mummies....

Real Mummies enjoy looking after their children, enjoy listening to what they enjoy and finding out about them. Real Mummies don't treat being a parent like a chore or an annoyance.

"Oh, look at the state of thee." The woman tuts, picking at some of the leaves in my hair. "And so much dirt on these here garments."

"S-sorry...." I say, instinctively, prepared for a scalding.

But the woman just tickles my chin.

"I do thinks it be time for you to be treated to some new clothes. What about....a pretty dress? Woulds thou like that?"

A dress? I've always been too self conscious after my eating disorder to wear a dress, other than simple cotton ones for Summer.

"What...kind of dress?" I dare to ask.

The woman winks; "Picture what you'd most dream to don, my love. Mummy will do the rest."

Closing my eyes again, for a moment, I focus. Something elegant but comfy. Nothing too preppy or pastel. But not too gothic either. Something to match my hair but maybe that could be a bit longer too? I'd wanted to grow it out...

Ember sparks swirl around me as I open my eyes. Looking down, I see the black and pink gown that's replaced my shirt and leggings and skirt. It's...It's incredible! Laughing, I follow the compulsion to twirl on my boots, letting the skirts flutter outward.

The woman claps her hands; "Oh, look at thee! As graceful as one of Lucifer's swans!"

The compliment is bizarre but feels accurate. It makes me chuckle again. I just want to twirl and twirl and dance in this beautiful forest...

"This is....This is so incredible!" I turn my head in time to see that we're far from being alone in these woods.

Animals are wandering all around. Red squirrels enjoying their acorns on the branches. Badgers poking their noses out their dens. Gorgeous white stags and does wandering out towards the meadow, completely at ease among the presence of ghosts.

And there's more. Fairies, good fairies, sit chatting beside the squirrels. There are people standing nearby, tall and lithe with pointed ears. Elves? What I believe might be two centaurs trot together in the distance...

I did not die. I just finally found my Narnia. My Oz. My Middle Earth.

"Is...Is this all real?" I ask the woman behind me.

She smiles; "As real as you want it to be, little'en. T'is your home. You only need to ask and it shall be yours."

It's all too good to be true. I want to cry again but this time with tears of disbelief and overwhelming joy.

There's a roar. A great loud roar above.

I crane my head and see the most magnificent sight. A great blue scaled dragon flies above the canopy, it's magnificent pointed wings overshadowing nearly the whole forest.

Clasping my hands over my mouth, the tears fall.

"No need to fear them, darling girl. Them beasts be perfectly tame. Woulds thee desire to ride one?"

I sob, laughing also; "Yes, yes, fuck yes!!" If this is a dream then I never, ever want it to end.

The woman approaches me. She reaches a hand to touch my lengthened hair, nearly longer than hers.

"Before we do, I has but three rules for thee to follow."

Three? I blink at her.

"W-what are they?" I ready myself to the downside.

"Rule one. That which shall be very easy." She smiles and strokes my face; "Is that you be a good girl and always do as I say."

A...good girl? It sounded dangerous to agree to such a concept. But...if in return it meant magic and dragons then....

I nod; "I will. I'll be good."

"I know you will. Yous already be perfect." She grins; "The seconds is, you do nots ever venture towards the big house."

"The...The big house?" I frown. Right. There was a big old house....

"It be full of those who despise our kind; those who practice the Old Ways. They wills not hesitate to cause you harm, my child. They will nots care for how young you be, they will show you no mercy. Stay within these woods or close to Mummy or Mummy's ally. Understood?"

I nodded, feeling a little confused. I thought no one was in that house except an old rich lady?

But I agree. What could I possibly want in that house anyway?

"And....rule three?"

Smoke began to billow around the witch as her ember irises shone bright.

"The most important of them! The one ye must obey without fail!" The woman's voice thundered with authority.

Quivering a little, I wait with my breath held back.

She smiles, the smoke dispersing; "Thou dost whate'er makes ye happy, every single day! Think thou can manage that, my lovely girl?"

Her hands reach for me in my shock at her little trick and....she's tickling me.

Breaking into a fit of giggles, I try to push her off but she's much stronger. When was the last time I was tickled? By who? Dad...probably....fuck it's been so long...

"Can thee, cheeky little wench? Can thee?" The witch persists, needling my sides and armpits with those fingers as I squirm.

"YES!" I cry out in laughter.

She wraps her strange arms around my middle, strong enough that my feet leave the ground.

"Yes what, darling girl?"

Breathless, I surrender the last ounce of resistance that was holding me back. Fuck it. Whatever craziness this is, no matter how wrong or twisted, it's a thousand times better than anything I've had. Anything I'll ever have.

I slump in her embrace, still giggling, wrapping my arms tight around the one shining beacon saving me from an eternity of darkness and pain. With two little words, I give myself and my sanity over to her.

"Yes, Mummy!"

[thetragicallynerdy]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @zombiethingy, thank you for the tag buddy!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope!

2. When was the last time you cried?

I can't remember specifically but I'm sure it was within the last week lmao. More definitively: the last time I talked to my mom (because I was sad and she is safe to cry with)

3. Do you have kids?

Nope! Aiming to keep it that way lmao

4. What sports do you play/have played?

All of this is pre-injury but:

Powerlifting (have competed once pre-injury! My fav sport I've ever done!!)

Rec dodgeball

Climbing

As a kid: soccer, baseball, all at like church leagues

Now: I hike :3 and sometimes do yoga. And sometimes weight lift but it hurts my brain so it's been hard to get back into

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Probably too often XD

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmm. I don't think there's really something that I notice first? Or if there is I can't think about it.

7. What’s your eye color?

Greyish blue.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings - I don't mind sad endings, but I rarely watch scary movies.

9. Any talents?

Many, but my most useless and favourite one is that I can peel a clementine (and sometimes big oranges) in one long segment.

10. Where were you born?

British Columbia!

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, the dungeons and the dragons, art, just getting into pottery, gardening/growing too many succulents, reading.

12. Do you have any pets?

Not right now! I typically have hamsters, but a really beloved one passed away this summer and it's been hard finding the energy to get a new one. Hoping to in December or January, though.

13. How tall are you?

Short enough that I can leave my very top cupboard door open and just walk under it

14. Favorite subject in school?

I haven't been in school for nearly a decade, but I took a pottery class at a community centre this fall that was so fun so we're going to go with that

15. Dream job?

For the government to pay better disability so I don't need to worry so much about finances and not being able to work a real job (alternatively, to make enough with really part time art that I no longer need to worry about finances and being able to work full time)

Thanks for the tag buddy!! If you feel like doing it, I'm tagging @lovewithagirl @nevershootamockingbird @bringinghometherain @thou-art-of-the-stars @yourlocal-charlatan @alfalfairy @yerbamansa @draculafemme @georgekirrin @ginbiscuit @ladythmpr @stillbelievinginfireflies

If you didn't get tagged but see this and want to do, please consider this your tag!

[nicosraf]

Hello. I adored your book. I was wondering if you could share a bit about your research/inspiration for Uriel/Kimah? I don't know much about Judeo-Christian theology and history. I was curious if this came from the Bible or some sort of folklore or if it was your own interpretation?

Aaa, thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed!

Regarding Uri-Kimah: it was all revealed to me in a dream.

(That's the short answer. The long answer, with spoilers, is that it's an interpretation:)

The Bible refers to angels as stars a couple times — Job 38:7 and Revelation 12:4, for example. Revelation 12:4 is especially relevant (Job too, but I'll get to that later); it reads that Satan took down 1/3rd of the stars with him, which most assume to mean angels that became demons due to his influence. So, angels are stars, angels are also weird abominations occasionally, and angels are human-ish sometimes too — I tried to spin these 3 things together and came to the decision that only some angels were physically stars, but which?

I was also thinking scientifically. I wanted to incorporate some aspect of real stars (like the silly lil inclusion of dinosaurs) and I thought a lot about the thousands of years of a dark universe. I wrote all this down, thought about it, then considered, "Maybe the first angels were stars."

Uriel. So Uriel is a bit fascinating to me. I looked through a lot of angel art while planning, and I noticed people tended to depict the archangels with almost consistent personalities. Uriel, to me, usually looked upset, or unhappy. (In comparison to Gabriel, especially, who looks very serene and kind and happy, most of the time.) He also was typically depicted with fire, stars, or the sun (including in Paradise Lost). I was especially struck by this stained glass of him:

I then thought maybe Uriel was one of the first angels or that he knew them.

In my outline, I vaguely wrote that there would be a confrontation between God and Uriel in Chapter 28 about Lucifer, then the first angels, who became stars. I wasn't sure what I was going to write really but, as I drafted, the story of the angels as stars started becoming clearer to me (ex. Michael telling Lucifer, on Earth, the parable about the stars). I started getting flashes of scenes and lines in my head (I remember suddenly imagining Uriel creating fire, and making the connection to his name "Uri" (light) and "-el" (of God). And then I thought that maybe there was no God for a while, and he was just Uri.)

I also started to understand Uriel as a jealous character, (everyone is jealous in this book) but where was his jealousy coming from? I thought maybe he had been in love once too.

A night or two before I wrote Chapter 28 (which I was stressing about), I dreamt about the story of "Uri" and this other angel, along with the other first angels who God turned into stars. After freaking out for an hour, I opened the (YLT) Bible I had, went to the book of Job, where angels were referred to as stars (Job 38:7), and then I stumbled onto Job 38:31: "Dost thou bind sweet influences of Kimah?" Kimah was apparently referencing a constellation.

I liked it, and Uri-Kimah sounded right.

[thenextbestidol]

[ Questions for the muse meme!

1: Whats her favorite type of cookies?

2: What does Ruby think of the industry?

3: How does Ruby view Kana / MemCho?

4: Can Ruby act? Has she considered acting before?

5: Whats a crossover verse you really enjoy with your muse, and what are some headcannons you have FOR said verse? ]

Thank you for the ask!

Send me questions you have about my character!

What is her favorite type of cookies?

Chocolate chips! She loves eating them with strawberries and yogurt.

2. What does Ruby think of the industry?

As Sarina and as a kid she used to think that it was a magical place where all your dreams came true. A place where you went and everything has magical, where you earned a lot of money and were surrounded by love and compliments the whole time. You know, typical view you have as a kid.

Now she knows it is a place where you have to be cautious, watch your words and who you talk to, a place where you are forced to use a mask and tell naughty lies to survive, with time, she has learned that she really has to be careful if she doesn't want to get in trouble. She still loves being an idol, but doesn't ignore how rough being in the industry can be.

3. How does Ruby view Kana/MemCho?

Despite her relationship with Kana starting with the left foot, Ruby loves and respects very much Kana and Mem, they are her two favorite people in the world. She thinks that they are very talented, wonderful girls who deserve the world and will always be grateful to them for being part of B-Komachi with her.

She wants them to be happy, and would always be there for both of them. They are also the last two people she wants to get harmed by her revenge plans, so she tries to not get them involved at all.

4. Can Ruby act? Has she considered acting before?

Not professionally, but she has a lot of potential! In the plays made in school, she would always get the leading role and perform very well. With some practice and dedication, she would be a great actress, thou I don't think she would be in the level of Kana or Akane.

She has considered acting, but once she has stopped being an idol, due to her wanting to focus on her idol career. Thou she wouldn't say no if she was offered to play a minor role in some movie or series.

5. Whats a crossover verse you really enjoy with your muse, and what are some headcanons you have FOR said verse?

I love roleplaying with @slayingblades! Currently, the two threads we have with Mitsuri and Tanjiro are two of my favorites! We are roleplaying in an Academy verse so not too much about the universe of Kimetsu no Yaiba (demons, breathing stuff, etc), but I would very much love to one day rp Ruby in that universe!

Some headcanons I have for a verse where Ruby is a demon hunter would be:

★ Her father is a Lower Moon (he got transformed after Ai got pregnant) who sent a regular demon to kill her mother and the kids.

★ Ai died but Aqua and Ruby got saved by their babysitter, Miyako, who was secretly a demon hunter with the mission of keeping an eye on the Hoshino family.

★ Miyako took Aqua and Ruby under her wing, the twins decided to be demon hunters at a young age and she trained them.

★ Ruby's breathing would be sound breathing like Uzui's, due to her being related to music.

★ She still had a previous life as Sarina Tendouji where she was offered to become a demon to get healed (pretty much like Muzan), but she died before taking the opportunity. She got reincarnated due to a demon blood art but doesn't quite remember her past life, at least at the beginning.

★ Eventually, she discovers that her father was responsible for her mother and Doctor Gorou's dead (she regains her memories after finding the doctor's corpse), and decides she is going to hunt him and kill him.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Greetings! This is not a request, not even a suggestion, but a gift (?) in form of sharing a poem. I still think with pleasure and gratitude of your Vergil fics, my mind immediately went there when I was re-reading Shakespeare's Sonnet 87. Here it is, an open door to angst: "Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing, And like enough thou know’st thy estimate. The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing; My bonds in thee are all determinate. For how do I hold thee but by thy granting, And for that riches where is my deserving? The cause of this fair gift in me is wanting, And so my patent back again is swerving. Thy self thou gav’st, thy own worth then not knowing, Or me, to whom thou gav’st it, else mistaking; So thy great gift, upon misprision growing, Comes home again, on better judgment making. Thus have I had thee as a dream doth flatter, In sleep a king, but waking no such matter." ^ this, this all haunts me. goodbye fksjdfgfdg

Look. I dunno if I'm crying because this is too beautiful or the fact that you read some Shakespeare and remembered of lil' ol' me and my writings - and then SENT ME A SONET AS A GIFT.

This is one of the most beautiful and heartwarming things someone has ever done for me. There are no words to express how thankful I am and for how flattered I feel for all this.

At the end of the day, I write for myself but also for everyone else who can find some solace in these words. Thank you, really.

Now, for that sonet, I hadn't read it before! I'm not from an English speaking country, so we don't really study Shakespeare and sonets and such - it's mostly a hobby for me, so I'm delighted to get to know something new ^^

Aaaaaand it's Vergil all over. Angsty, thinking he is undeserving of the person giving him love, releasing them from the shackles of staying with him (he's dumb 'cause he doesn't realize it isn't a shackle though - or, if it is, it's something his s/o chose willingly - cue in Arwen and the "I choose a mortal life" bit).

Now, now. I do think his s/o would answer with something along the lines of:

"Take this kiss upon the brow! And in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow - You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream." (Edgar Allan Poe, A Dream Within a Dream)

And go sort of "if we can't know where a dream ends and reality starts, and all is a dream within a dream, then it makes no difference if I decide to be with you, even if you deem yourself unworthy, for like hope, is it less gone if we are in a dream or in reality?" or something like that. Just a little possible interaction to haunt us between Vergil and his s/o ;)

Once again, thank you so SO much. You are too kind and I'm lucky to have you around, reading my works and appreciating my words. I hope to keep seeing you in the bibliothéque, you're always welcome <3

[echantedtoon]

Rules Of One's Soul Ch5 Realizing Feelings

(A disclaimer real quick in the story. Mak is not my oc and belongs to Mak)

A drip. A drop. A sprinkle. The water gently pouring down from the dark sky had started a little more than an hour ago, thunder and lightning waking him up every while due to his anxiety acting up to loud booming noises reminding him of THAT voice, but the emotional strain of the past few days had been too exhausting to put up with anymore and ended up with him falling into a deep sleep. Though the sleep was anything but pleasant. The hours of night revolved around visions of devilish smiles, heart attacks, and the deep laughing of a certain king of the past. But a ray of hope managed to shine through starting with a familiar little giggle and cooing. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday-

He was just putting up puzzles as usual. It had been a very surprising day when the King had picked him of all people to replace the former royal advisor and Duke after the king mentioned their 'accident', and he was more than flattered. His law keeping and skills for overseeing troups had finally caught the eye of the king it seemed.....Or so he thought. The king did not appreciate his skills in writing up legal paperwork, in laws, or even the actual puzzles he found out, as long as it got done when he wanted and if it was to his satisfaction. In the king's words, "I don't CARE how you get it done, do what it takes and it better be done correctly the first time, Duke. You know the consequences if you don't."

Luckily the King seemed more interested in the troups than the actual puzzles themselves. Thank goodness. But there was one thing that came with the job once the Queen had left. Royal advisor? Nope! Think of himself as a Royal Nanny....only he was forced into the role instead of hired. Oh! The King's son was always a troublesome little larva from the day he was born. But it became harder when one had to learn quickly how to care for a screaming baby or the King would storm over and demand he'd 'Shut the dam thing up before it woke the entire castle'. Taking care of a child was probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do in his few hundred years of youth. He thought it would get easier as he got older, but that proved to be untrue. He actually preferred it when Lancer couldn't run away from him and cause trouble, he would've preferred it if Lancer just stuck to him like glue begging for attention, but no. The child idolized his father and went out of his way everyday to try and please him....Which didn't always end up good. For either of them.

But this dream was about one memory in particular-

A little Lancer had ran up to him one day out of the blue squealing and babbling about something fun he did and he didn't really listen and mumbled something along the lines of 'That's nice. Thou should settle down now before thine father hears thou's screams."

"Oh. Ok, Wesser Dad."

The worm froze from what he was doing and finally looked down to toddler Lancer who smiled up at him innocently. "W-Wha...What didst thou calleth me?"

"Wesser Dad." He happily chirped before turning his head.

"Why?"

And his answer stuck into him more than any of the king's threats since that day-

"You my daddy, but smallwer than Daddy" He held his hands close together as to measure the size difference between Rouxls and King Spade. "Wesser than Daddy. Wesser Dad!"

The Duke just stared at the toddler wagging his tail, obviously proud at the name he came up with. Did-...Did he not know Rouxls wasn't actually his-...He wasn't Lancer's sire, much less blood related. But that didn't seem to matter to the three year old hugging his leg and looking up at him with more love than he deserved.

"I wuve you Wesser Dad!"

He couldn't stop himself from crying the glowing white tears from his eyes or his body from shaking with mixed emotions, and hold the precious little spade pup closer, he was fuzzy and warm and oddly giggly to the hug he was receiving.

"Do you think he's ok? Look he's crying in his sleep, sleep."

Wait a minute. That wasn't Lancer's voice. It sounded far too old and high pitched.

''Hmm. Perhaps he's having a nightmare. By the way he's clinging to you, it would seem so."

WHAT?!

He slowly stirred, and his eye opened from the darkness that was known as a deep sleep.The first thing he saw past the shadows was two black orbs surrounded by purple. With dead yellow eyes. Followed by a wide fanged smile. he just stared back.

"Well hello, hello.~"

What followed was the highest scream he probably made, sounding something like :'EEEEEEEEEE-". The figure invading his privacy fell backwards off the bed and crashed to the floor with a thud, when Rouxls pulled the blankets up his body to cover most of his body, both causing dust to spew into the air that turned the scream into a flurry of coughs for everyone present. The Poor Duke waved a hand to fan the dust away from his face and stared in shocked fear at the other two coughing figures. One was fuzzy and tall and the other was-....

"Jevil! You- *cough cough* What thy f*ck art thou doing within my shoppe?!" He yelled at the Imp that look up at him from the dusty floor.

Jevil gave off a series of high pitched giggles before pushing himself up and once again into the air. How the HELL could he even hover for so long?! The imp gave a devilish grin and held his hands out.

''But what fun, fun would it be if a surprise wasn't a surpise?~"

"I doth know! How about not scaring me within my home!?" His eyes went to the cat behind him who was giving the two a confused look. "And what art thou doing here?! I though I told thee not to cometh back?" He pointed accusedly at the cat.

Seam merely gave a chuckle and gave off the same calm face like the night before. "Actually, you said not to come in unsupervised. And as you can see I'm being watched by two people, so I'm nor really breaking your rule there. Now am I?"

Rouxls opened his mouth to argue...But closed it again. He scoffed and threw the blanket off himself before throwing his legs off as well. The Duke stood up and stretched his aching and honestly still tired body out, making a few bones pop within it. Behind him Jevil casually went to laying on his stomach and put his face in his hands as he watched the Duke. When Rouxls turned around he was met with a face of smiles and a simple finger wave from the smiling jester, he rolled his eyes again.

"What is it now?"

"Oh, nothing,nothing. Just waiting."

"For what?"

"Don't you remember, remember? We have a game to finish.~"

Rouxls turned back to the side and began towards a door on the far side of dusty room. "And I thought I said I wanted to take thou's 'game' slower," he spat without looking behind him angrily. His hand reached out and grabbed one the door before throwing it open and leaning have his body into the space behind. "Showing up in the morning uninvited and not wanted is nay taking it slowly!" He paused, before turning back around and giving him a look. "How did thou even get it here?"

Jevil waved a clawed hand like it was nothing. "The lock doesn't lock. The door was open the moment, moment we turned the little knob."

Rouxls hummed in a tone like he didn't fully believed him, before slowly going back into what was apparently a closet. The worm monster spent a couple more seconds in there probably moving around cloths? Seam couldn't tell as he was standing at an angle watching, but he could clearly see Jevil reaching into the fabric of his cape and pulling out a small box from the folds. To say he was surprised that Jevil was acting like this let alone even dared to leave his prison cell was an understatement, but he guessed finding one's soulmate would get one to do things they often didn't do In the name of love. Rouxls leaned back out with a regal looking uniform, that wasn't covered it dust surprisingly, and turned back to the duo with a still tired face though not as tired as last night. He seemed to have noticed the way Jevil was looking at him and the small box he held in his hands.

"What is that?"

The imp perked up at being addressed and held the box out for him. "A gift, gift for you!"

Rouxls rose a brow and looked down back at the box like someone was trying to give him something he already owned. Seam watched their reactions carefully with a neutral face. Jevil had little to literally zero experience in dating experience and after he told Seam what exactly happened upon his first attempt at- uh....showing Rouxls his true emotions towards him. Which may have been the reason the Duke was acting more irritated than giving off a similar reaction to Jevil, or it could just be because he was still tired and they sorta intruded and scared him out of his sleep. So, Seam sort of gave Jevil some advice of his own, granted he didn't really have romantic experience either, but he knew enough to know NOT to spontaneously kiss your soulmate out of no where and take things slow like Rouxls had mentioned earlier. Jevil hopefully would take the advice seriously. It seemed so when he asked the old cat what was usually considered 'romantic', and he remembered something about getting others deserts and candies??

Rouxls gave the box a suspisious look before looking back at Jevil and saying, "Open it."

Jevil flinched taken a bit back from the blunt reaction, but complied and opened the lid of the box and tilting it forward to show Rouxls the inside. Rouxls rose his brow at the familiar sweet smell and the sight of purple frosting with white sparkly sprinkles on top of what looked like was a vanilla naked cake, and topped off with a few star shaped dark candies. The Duke looked at the admittedly well done desert before his eyes and blinked before looking back up at the now nervous looking joker.

"Do you like it? Like it?"

He opened his mouth...but closed it a few more times before looking back at the cake with uncertainty. "I-....It's v-very lovely and thou lookest like you did a great job on making thine cake."

Jevil's face immediately lit up and his tail began wagging behind him. He giggled a bunch of those flustered giggles making his purple face flush a lighter hue. His hands flew up to cup his cheeks as he stared at the confused worm man, somehow having the cake hovering in mid air next to them. Rouxls gave a small smile at the situation, and stared back into the box.

"You r-really, really think so?"

"I- Well-..Y-Yes.*ahem* I...guess this is a good start to mine d- MMF!"

"Jevil!"

Rouxls was forced back a couple steps and toppled over and onto the ground with a soft thud. A force wrapped around his chest and neck added some weight to his fallen body as the imp had basically tackled the worm man...And speaking of Jevil. Clawed hands gripped the either side of Rouxls head gently while his face was gently pressed against his. He pulled back after a few seconds and the two just stared at each other. Rouxls mitch matched eyes staring into Jevil's black and pink ones-...Wait a minute. Since when was his eyes pink? He didn't get to ramble on that thought much longer before Jevil was yanked off of him by Seam. He held up Jevil in one hand and gave a 'Really?' look, to which the jester just giggled and shrugged at, in Seam's other hand was the box that had been previously floating. Seam sighed before looking down at Rouxls. The Duke didn't look scared, but more of a flushed shock as his blue face lit up a lighter color. Seam chuckled at that.

"Are you alright there friend? You two took quite a fast stumble there."

The duke made a whine noise and whispered, "Yeah...I-I'm good," in a squeaky voice. To which both the males laughed at.

Rouxls flushed more before clearing his throat and slowly propping himself up into a standing pose. He professionally patted his sides to rub the left dust off himself before bending down to pick up the dropped suit. He groaned at the dust bunnies stuck to it before inhaling and blowing on it, the air taking the dust with it.

"By the way, way. What were you dreaming, dreaming about?"

"What doth though meaneth?" Rouxls gave the imp a side glance, trying not to show too much of his flushed face.

Jevil's smiling face went to one of concern slowly and so did Seam's.

"You were melting and crying in your sleep....Are you alright?"

It took him a few seconds for his brain to process what they were talking about but he soon realized what. "Oh. That. Yes. I was just dreaming about Lancer.....Lancer?" His face shot up with a sudden look of horror as he turned to them. "SHITETH! What time tis it?!"

"By now I'd say it's about one or two hours before noon I believe."

"Fucketh me! I'm late!" A sudden fear shot through him as he realized what the Ex King Would've done if he had shown up late. He knew Lancer wouldn't even do anything like...he would, but the fact he left his boy all alone without notice made a rock of guilt form in his stomach. Quickly rushing past the two, he flew into what they assumed must've been his restroom before the door slammed shut behind him.

The two stared for a bit before looking at each other.

"Was it something I said? I said?"

"No. But you could have been more humble after giving him the cake," the cat said as lowered the jester to his feet, "What if he hit his head against something? We could've been in big trouble."

Jevil sheepishly shrugged before giggling. "My world revolves, revolves when my soul aches, aches for him."

Seam gave a chuckle at that. "At least you didn't throw any more heart."

Jevil gave a slightly offended look at that. "My Heart's Desire, Desire is nothing to be over looked, looked."

Before Seam could answer, the door slammed back open and a now fair amount of steam and a well groomed Duke walked out adjusting the last of what looked like the back of his hair. He still looked weary and hurried towards the other door behind the other two males.

"Where are you going, going?"

"I am lateth!" He was almost to the point of melting and ruining his suit. He didn't have time for any antics right now. "Lancer has been waiting for mine arrival for hours now! I shan't keep him waiting any longer! I needst to leave immediately!"

"In the rain, rain?"

He stopped and looked back over his shoulder at the two.''N-Nay worry. I k-knoweth a short cut to mine destination-" Just as we was about to summon up the familiar bright flash of light upon teleporting, a clawed hand grabbed his own. He flinched and looked behind him as the imp smiled at him in a knowing way. "What art thou doing? Lancer needs me."

"Then allow me to help, help a poor soul in need.~" He smiled wider.

Rouxls was just about to ask what Jevil meant, when suddenly his entire world toppled sideways. His body felt stretched and the world spun and blurred as the tightness of his body squeezed the air out of his lungs. His eyes stung and as soon as it came it was gone, as he was firmly replanted back on his feet in one second as the tightness released his lungs. He gasped and stumbled into a solid wall to his right. He coughed and hacked up air as his lungs refilled themselves, as he gulped up air he felt someone grabbing his shoulder and gently pulling him back up into a standing position. Naturally he wobbled a bit before getting his balance back, his legs felt like jello as he struggled. He took a moment to blink and look over his shoulder at the smiling.

"See, see? I got us here, here with plenty of time to spare, spare."

"W-Wha-...What did thou just do?"

He giggled. "A simple little teleportation spell, spell. Lot's of practice, practice from disappearing acts."

Rouxls blinked. He could teleport this whole time?! He opened his mouth....But decided against it and instead decided on looking around them instead. They were somewhere cold, very cold. He had to blink a few times but he managed to make out the outline of bars and ....stairs? from the faint light coming from above the stairs.

"Ehehehehehe. In a little freedom freedom you see.~ Only place I feel, feel comfortable for now."

Rouxls blinked but decided against questioning anything Jevi did at this point and instead opted for walking away from Jevil and towards the stairs in a brisk pass. Jevil gave a confused look but floated after him with a jingle of bells. This time he remembered to duck out of the entrance and knocked over a few abandoned plates still sitting there, and made a mental note to have someone come down here and clean up the mess. Jevil followed him hovering all the way up the stairs and to the closed doors of the elevator and watched as Rouxls reached over to press the button to summon said elevator and he stood there staring at the closed doors. He mumbled to himself and tapped his foot anxiously as they waited, Jevil oh so casually crossed his arms and leaned himself against the top of the anxious duke's head as the two waited there.

"You know, I could, could just take you up there myself."

"N-No. I'm perfectly fine with waiting for this."

"If you insist, but I can give you, you a much better ride, ride.~"

"Jevil! Thoust worm!"

The imp gave off a round of laughter at the Duke's now flustered face. Rouxls sputtered in annoyance and only didn't start going on a tyrade because a ding rang out before the doors casually opened. Grunting, he stepped inside and pushed the first floor button on the panel. As expected, Jevil hovered in after him and floated by his shoulders with a smug grin on his face.

"You don't look happy, happy."

"Thou's tactic's for this 'game' are quite questionable," he muttered scowling.

That sent the imp off into another series of laughter before hovering closer and slowly beginning to press his body against the duke's side. Rouxls promptly took a step aside and scowled more.

"Doth thou mind?"

Jevil gave a curious look. "You don't like, like my heart's desire for you?"

"No...." Rouxls paused for a moment, a flash of what looked like fear quickly passed over his face before he back tracked. "I-..I mean..." He visibly gulped. "I did say thou should not bulldoze thou's way head f-first I-into things." A strained grin. "I-It's unhealthy f-for thou to do. Ahehe...he..*ahem*"

Jevil's smile slowly disapated when he saw the frozen smile upon the duke's face, It looked forced and not a genuine smile like all. And...did the Duke's chest start rising faster? The two stared at each other for what seemed like forever before Jevil swung his body forward to point his feet toward the floor of the elevator and soon floated down to land on it, all the while keeping eye contact with the other man. Rouxls kept that strained smile upon his face as he continued to watch the imp.

"Rouxls, Rouxls. What's wrong?" He slowly reached a hand out towards him-

Rouxls flinched at the movement and his pupils shrank down slightly. Jevil froze at the action before swiftly taking his hand back, a look of realization crossed his sharp face.

"Are you..you...scared of me..me?"

Rouxls didn't answer- But he didn't need to, the few drips of slimy sweat forming on his forehead was enough to show what the worm was really thinking. Jevil opened his mouth again but a small dinging noise broke the silence and the doors opened. Rouxls made sure to make a quick exit while excusing himself, leaving the imp just staring at the empty space that used to be the duke.

[practically-an-x-man]

Prometheus x Corinthian Playlist Analysis (Part Three)

This might end up getting long (or longer), but I'm going to try and get this analysis wrapped up in this part, so we'll see how it turns out. Here we go!

Heart's on Fire - Passenger

Notable lyrics:

Well, I don't have many and I don't have much/ In fact, I don't have any but I got enough/ 'Cause I know those eyes and I know that touch - That last line... let's just say we're starting off strong here.

And then there's the repeated refrain of "oh darlin', my heart's on fire" which to me makes this song feel a bit like a call-and-response. It seems to me like the verses are from Prometheus' perspective, and the chorus is the Corinthian.

(also, this is completely random but the chorus of this song always makes me think of the river-baptism scene in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. It's in the same key and and everything)

The Light Behind Your Eyes - My Chemical Romance

More angst for you >:)

Notable lyrics:

Never let them take the light behind your eyes/ One day, I'll lose this fight/ As we fade in the dark/ Just remember you will always burn as bright - Corruption ending my beloved...

We'll say goodbye today/ And I'm sorry how it ends this way - More of the Corruption ending here...

Sometimes, we must grow stronger/ And you can't be stronger when I'm gone/ When I'm here, no longer/ You must be stronger - I read this line as Prometheus's perspective in reference to the Corinthian, and the way Prometheus' return to the darkness leads to his own slip back into it (and eventually would segue into the canon Sandman timeline)

Cradles - Sub Urban

Notable lyrics:

I live inside my own world of make-believe/ Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities - This would reference their status as dreams, particularly as nightmares, living in the "world of make-believe" that is the Dreaming

I love everything/ Fire's spreading all around my room/ My world's so bright - More fire symbolism to represent Prometheus, of course

Hear the children sing aloud/ It's music 'til the wick burns out/ Hush - Prometheus comforts the children from their nightmares, but there's no comfort once they lose their spark - once the "wick burns out"

Falling Away With You - Muse

This could be a bit more angst from the Corruption ending, I think. Let's check it out.

Notable lyrics:

Staying awake to chase a dream/ Tasting the air you're breathing in/ I hope I won't forgot a thing - The Corinthian's quite literally "chasing a dream" - Prometheus - but in the case of the Corruption ending, eventually all he'll have of them is memories

And I'll feel my world crumbling down/ Feel my life crumbling now/ Feel my soul crumbling away/ And falling away/ Falling away with you - Back to the Corruption ending, particularly the Corinthian's reaction when he realizes Prometheus has been sent back into the dark - that he's lost them

Stay - As Everything Unfolds - This is another one where there's not as much overt symbolism in the lyrics (which probably means I should've put it in the first part but eh, I'm lazy. I just really like this song, and there's a lot of intense emotion in it that I feel is reflected in the fic.

Every Night - Paul McCartney - again, less directly relating to the lyrics, just the idea that they meet up every night and develop a connection

Calypso - Suzanne Vega - the lyrics are a little tough to analyze for this one, given it's in first-person perspective AND deals with an entirely different Greek myth than the one I based my character on. However, the idea of Calypso (representing Prometheus) reaching out for a struggling traveler and helping him up to his feet was enough of a connection in my eyes, and onto the playlist it goes.

All Eyes - Imagine Dragons

First of all: eyes. Enough said. But aside from that,

Notable lyrics:

Where the people are awake, to chase a dream that isn't real/ And we pose to be something that we're not - Oh boy, so much here. The reference to dreams, and then the "posing to be something we're not", the in-between stage between full-dream and full-nightmare, the initial gathering of that spark...

Now, will the sun come up tonight?/ Because your eyes, they burn so bright/ I'm all you've got when you say that you want it all - Now the "sun" obviously would reference Prometheus, but as far as the "burning eyes"... I'll leave that up to you to decide. It is the Corinthian speaking to Prometheus? Is it the reverse, particularly in the Redemption ending? Who knows?

Burn Out - Imagine Dragons

Notable lyrics:

It's just another downpour, don't let it get the best of you/ It's only up from the floor, light everything inside of you/ Don't burn out, don't burn out on me - To me, this is the Corruption ending - "Find the light."

(and no, I did not think about how similar that is to "Beware the light" from Logan when I wrote it... whoops. My favorite fandom snuck up on me, actor and all...)

Icarus - Bastille

Notable lyrics:

Your hands protect the flames/ From the wild winds around you - This is Prometheus, of course, protecting the light and the dreamers from the "wild winds" of the surrounding nightmares

You put up your defenses when you leave/ You leave because you're certain/ Of who you want to be - I love this line in particular because it really could be both the Corruption ending or the Redemption ending - either leaving the Dreaming itself and choosing "who you want to be" in that darker sense, or leaving the act of being a nightmare and choosing to be a dream instead.

Two more songs! Almost done!

My Selene - Sonata Arctica

This is another song where it feels like just about every single lyric could link back to this story, and I'd absolutely recommend it! This almost reads as a personification of the story itself, but here's the thing - I'd never heard of this song when I wrote it, I only listened to it for the first time today!

Notable lyrics:

But until we unite/ I live for that night/ Wait for time/ Two souls entwine/ In the break of new dawn - Much like Every Night and a few of the other songs, this line mainly relates to the development of their relationship as they meet every night

Shadows they will fade/ But I'm always in the shade/ Without you... - And we're back to the Corruption ending, I suppose. There's also a line later on that reads "I'm still alone in the dead of night" that calls back to this one.

Hidden from daylight I'm sealed in my cave/ Trapped in a dream that is slowly turning to nightmare/ Where I'm all alone - LOOK AT THIS! Just look at it! I don't think there's a single more fitting line in this entire analysis, because this is just the entire fic right here! Or at least the Corruption ending of it!

Venial is life when you're but a dream/ The book is still open the pages as empty as me - This line is a little less about the fic itself, but the books In Lucienne's library do go blank when Morpheus is captured, so it still links to Sandman. And of course, the personification of a dream, which is the chief note of the story

This is my final call/ My evenfall/ Drowning into time/ I become the night/ By the light of new day/ I'll fade away - This would be Prometheus' descent back into the darkness, right at the start of the Corruption ending

Leave the City - Twenty One Pilots

I could put just about every lyric of this song into this analysis, which means it's really a perfect one to end on. And so rather than typing out all of the lyrics for you, I'd recommend that you listen to the song, look up the lyrics yourself, soak up the harmonies, and think about the themes of the story as you listen. Perhaps think of the Corruption ending as you listen, or perhaps think of the Redemption ending. It's a bittersweet and uncertain song, perfect for a story with two endings. And this is where I'll leave you.

And that concludes this playlist and its analysis! I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you'll consider either taking a listen or reading the fic itself (or, if you're feeling generous, maybe both?). Have a wonderful day, friends!

(Part One) (Part Two)

[itsonlyaurl]

30 - 35 for horrible questions~ ;3

A Jesseo Hello

30: What’s irritating you right now?My Mood for procrastination, I should work on my assignments but I am here just PrOcrASTInatING EveRYdAy. And maybe how I get a small headache whenever I eat a really sweet candy ;m;31: Does somebody love you?My family and Kane and friends?? JESs DO YOU LOVe ME :3c32: What is your favourite color?Full SPceTURm GaY- Pink33: Do you have trust issues?I think I do 🤔Sometimes I trust really easily, and other times I don’t 34: Who/what was your last dream about?I think I dream that I was supposed to snapchat Kane in the morning, but my internet was cut in the dream so I am unable to do so LOL what kind of dream is this 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?3 of my irl friends around april?may? I forgot 

Horrible Questions Ask Memeeee 

[misserabella]

W ♡RSHIP ME

EDDIE MUNSON X FEM! INNOCENT CATHOLIC READER

REMINDER THAT IF YOU FEEL YOU COULD GET OFFENDED BY THIS POST THERE IS NO NEED TO READ IT! I WOULD HATE TO MAKE ANY OF YOU THINK THAT THAT WAS THE INTENTION OF IT WHEN IT TRULLY ISN'T, I DEEPLY RESPECT ALL TYPES OF RELIGIONS! &lt;3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!&lt;3

Synopsis;; you didn't know what was happening with you, only that you wanted to dance with the devil under the name of Eddie Munson.

inspired by amazing writers such as @eddiemunsonhotgf and @dinodinodin0 ♡

CW;; references to the bible and church (also, eddie is not a believer and talks about his sinning and also is harsh about god, AGAIN DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY PLEASE), mocking of god, cursing, drug use, dirty talk, nipple play, teasing, smut, p in v sex, masturbation, dacryphilia, worshipping kink, god kink, overstimulation, a little bit of perv!Eddie, squirting, spanking, non protected sex (GUYS STDS ARE REAL, WRAP THE DONG UP), cream pie, finger fucking, chocking, praising, degradation, multiple orgasms… MINORS DNI!!!

(this actually got a little bit out of hand…)

Please, under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.

Word count;; 9k

†

“Pray to me. Worship me.”

To be honest, Eddie gave a absolute and incredibly huge fuck about ‘the above’. If there were rules any supposed God had put on a silly book then there was him to break every and each one of them.

It was easy really, look.

“Thou shalt not steal.”

Jesus, what the hell? And literally speaking. Come on, he was not really gonna die from lightning if he borrowed a couple of rings from the punk store, was he?

2. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

I mean… More than one mother he has already fucked, so there was that…

3. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

… Yeah…

4. “Thou shall not take the name of thy God in vain.”

God could suck his cock, honestly.

5. “Honor thy father and mother.”

Say what now? Didn’t knew her. And him? He could suck his cock too.

6. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”

Oh yeah, sure. No lies, blah, blah, sin!, blah, blah. He was always lying (justifiable). Even to himself, for fucks sake! If you went and asked him if he wanted to fuck you, will he say yes? Well, that was not a great example, but y’all get the point.

7. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.”

Would you count as one of your father’s goods? ‘Cause if that’s the case… He couldn’t really help himself. He was going to make you his any way or the other.

8. “Thou shalt not kill.”

Well, except for that. He really hadn’t done that…

Well, as he was saying…

9. “Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.”

With how you looked in that tiny little navy skirt and the way your tits pushed against your white catholic highschool shirt? He didn’t think he would be able to keep holy even in a normal day.

And lastly…

10. “I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any gods before Me.”

Oh, but he had one. You.

You were this kind of fucking angel sent from heaven. With your beautiful and silky hair falling to your back in waves, the prettiest and shiny eyes he had ever seen and rosy fully glossed lips that parted to sing along with the church’s choir. With that wonderful body of yours that he would absolutely go down on his knees to worship, you and those curves, ass and thighs that he so has dreamed of making a mess of with his lips.

You had the sweetest voice and personality he has ever known, always so caring, so giving and so sensitive… Oh god, his cock pushed against his black jeans every single time a tear would cascade down your cheeks when you volunteered for those in need, too overwhelmed as you prayed for them.

He wanted so bad for you to pray for him instead, down on your knees, with those pretty lips…

He was no catholic, he never was. But for you? Jesus, he would even enroll in one of those goddamn religious schools, cut his hair and go around like a goddamn prep church boy spreading God’s word if that meant he could stay as close to you as he could.

You had noticed, of course. Who wouldn’t? He was the black sheep amongst all those white ones as the pastor went on and on towards the end of the mass. He was there every Sunday, just to see you. And sooner or later your eyes had drifted to the end of the room and met his. He felt as if he could die a happy man there, when you gave him a sweet smile before getting back to praying.

To your eyes he seemed… Different. Different than any other boy you had ever met. What was comprensible since you were always surrounded by your very well mannered and stiff classmates. If any of them were there, they would probably start saying something about how people like him would end up being abandoned by god and in hell.

You could almost hear them and your father to stay away from his kind when the priest announced that all of you shall receive communion bread from your neighbor. You didn’t know why, but before noticing, you were drifting away from the crowd and towards the back with one of the hosts in your hands, towards him.

His eyebrows rose when he noticed that you were approaching him, no one had before. So he felt clumsy as he stood up from the wood bench in which he had been sitting for the last one and a half hours.

Your eyes met his when you were close enough, and he simply stared at you, at your soft skin, long lashes and cute nose. He was taken back when your hands rose from below and towards his lips. Your cheeks were pink and your eyes darted towards one of the angels carved in the wood walls. He then understood what was going on when he noticed the little bread medallion on your fingers. Fuck, he hadn’t done the communion, so was he not supposed to eat that?

His eyes went back to your expecting face, who was now looking at his indecisive one, attentive.

Fuck it.

He thought as he leaned down and took it with his tongue. You felt your face redden when his bottom lip brush against your finger tips, his brown eyes closing as he leaned back tall, looking down at you with a smirk.

“Thanks, gorgeous.” you slightly jumped on your spot. His voice was so… You couldn’t even describe it with words. What it did to you, how your whole body seemed to have been set on fire and your hands trembled as you nodded, unable to even speak up.

You both stared at each other for what it seemed to be hours on end before you could recompose yourself and turn around to head back to your sit on the front. You were flushed, and you softly slapped your cheeks to focus. And you tried, you really tried, and yet, there you were, sneaking peeks to the metal head every now and then just to find out that he was already staring at you, making you stupidly blush every single time.

Oh yeah, Eddie loved mass now.

The best day of the week was Sunday. No discussion. Maybe a common teenager would actually prefer Friday, but Sunday was the only day of the week he actually got to see you, so that’s that. He could understand his uncle’s confused gaze every weekend when he would tell him he was going to church, but it was fun anyways. He could even see smoke coming out of his ears trying yo understand why him would be going to mass every week.

But oh, well. Anything to get a glimpse of you.

He couldn’t understand it either. It was like an obsession, taking out the stalking shit. He just couldn’t get enough of you and your discreet peeks at him, of how every time you would come to him in mass when the host had to be given and of how you always seemed to blush around him. It was instantaneous, the connection.

Maybe it was true that opposites attract. But he couldn’t focus on that at the moment, his whole being was focused on you.

It was late at night and mass had just finished, everyone was saying their goodbyes at the doors and outside, going to ride back to their homes.

By now, he knew that you always stayed inside for a little bit more, maybe to help the pastor, or pray just one last time before leaving, who knows? He would just wait for you, anyways, blunt on hand and eyes on the wood doors.

The smoke burned his throat as he dragged a new hit from it, and the cold night’s air was hitting his face and blowing his curly hair. The sky was full of stars, but the only sight he would die for was you.

You shivered as you stepped out of the church, waving a goodbye to the pastor with one of your sweets smiles, which disappeared rather quickly when the cold air hit your bare skin. Your uniform was really not made for winter-like nights, and the thin sweatshirt that you had brought with you even less. You groaned when you remembered that today neither of your parents could come pick you up and that you had to walk back home. Good thing was that you lived nearby so it wouldn’t take you long.

You smiled to a few of the families that said their goodbyes, your eyes strolling though the plaza ‘till they met the more wooded part of it and at the same time, a pair of brown ones that stared at you, glistening under the fire of the blunt in between those soft lips that touched your fingers every Sunday. Your cheeks went hot pretty quickly as you looked the other way, your steps not waiting to start moving towards the street, but you stopped halfway, something inside you tugging the other way around. You fisted your hands and squeezed your eyes shut as you stood there, indecisive but knowing damn well what you wanted. Eddie’s eyebrows rose, awaiting for your next move as he stared at your back and silk hair. Surprise filled his factions when you turned around in just a mere second, starting to walk towards him still with your eyes closed shut. As if that would help you…

Cute.

He had to bit down a smile, still looking away and leaning in the tree on his side side while getting a new drag as you closed the distance.

He stared at you when you had finally come to meet him, your eyes darting away from him just to go back in less than a few seconds. He fought the urge to smile once again when he saw you try and say something, struggling to find a way how to start.

He was so close… So close that you could smell the earthy smoke —not truly knowing what it was—that surrounded him and his stupidly addictive cologne. Okay, breathe. You can do this. You can do this.

“Hi.” you stuttered, looking up at him since he was a few inches taller than you.

He smirked as he hit the blunt one more time before temporarily turning it off since he wouldn’t want you to be around the smoke.

“Hi, sweetheart.” he calmly said, slowly blowing off the smoke away from you, saving the rest of his blunt in his pocket. His mind was the complete opposite of his appearance, it was a mess. Holy shit, you were so close. And, fuck, you were talking to him. For the first time ever. This was a fucking dream.

Your cheeks burned when you heard the little nickname, a shy smile pursing your lips. Your brain was probably burning now due to all the thinking you were doing, trying to think about something to say to him. Hell, this was hard. “I saw you on mass.” you muttered, wanting to really kick yourself due to the stupidness that you’ve said. That was something he already knew.

Eddie smiled, giving you a chuckle that made your heart skip a beat. God you were so beautiful… “I know, I saw you too, gorgeous.” And he was high. What only made his infatuation worse. “Are you not going home? No one coming to get you?” he inquired you.

“Oh, yeah. I’m gonna walk the way back, my parents couldn’t come today.” you smiled to what he frowned.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart.”

“Why?”

“Why?” he inquired back, chuckling a little bit. “Beautiful girls like you shouldn’t walk alone at night, doll.”

You froze when one of his hands reached to brush back your locks from your face, making your stomach turn.

“We wouldn’t want any bad guy hurting you, would we?” you shook your head in response, to what he hummed. “That’s right… So, why don’t you let me take you home, sweetheart?” he offered you, cautious to not come out as a creep or something like that. He really wanted you to get home safe though.

“Would that be okay?” you inquired, making him smile.

“Of course, gorgeous.” he frowned when he saw you shiver, quickly getting rid of his jacked to hand it to you. “Take this too, I’m sure you are freezing with that uniform on.” you blushed when his eyes scanned your bare legs, your soft hands bumping against his more tougher ones when you muttered a little ‘thanks’ and pushed the warm vest on your shoulders. You felt like drowning, not only because it was absolutely huge on you, but because it smelled like him. With that woody string that you couldn’t really put your finger on.

He mouthed a ‘fuck’ when he saw you on his jacket, your innocent eyes staring at him as you melted on the denim. You looked so beautiful that it made a boner start to grow on his pants. But he pushed the dirty thoughts that filled his mind to the back of it and pressed his palm on your lower back. “Let’s go, beautiful.” he smiled at you as you both walked towards his van, which’s door he opened for you before getting on the driver’s seat and starting the car. Music filled your ears when the radio got turned on, only a whisper to your ears as you were so focused on the way his veiny and big hands gripped the wheel and manhandled it to start driving away.

He made sure you had your seatbelt on, but really didn’t mind to even put his on before getting to the road.

“Where to, sweetheart?” he inquired you, turning down the music a little bit as his eyes quickly found yours, nodding when you gave him your direction.

You both were silent during the drive, not an awkward kind of it, though, more like a warm one. Your eyes wandered around the messy van, which was filled with metal tapes, some beer cans, cigarettes that had stumbled out of the ashtray and notebooks and book on the backseats, which were clearly from D&D.

“You play the guitar?” you inquired when you noticed one red pick hanging from his neck, something you hadn’t been able to see since it has been hidden under his jacket.

He smiled at your question, his body shaking slightly when you leaned over him and picked the pick in between your fingers. The design was really beautiful. “I do, actually, I’m even on a band.” your eyes widened.

“Really? What’s its name?”

“Corroded Coffin.” you nodded. “We play at the Hideout from time to time.”

“How cool, I’ve never met someone who played the electric guitar, on my school they’re forbidden. They only teach us how to play the piano.” you sighed.

“Well, If you liked I could play for you sometime.” you seemed exited at his offer.

“I would love that! I’m sure you’re amazing.” he felt himself slightly blushing, looking at you with a little grin before shrugging.

“I guess I’m good with my fingers.” he chuckled when you only smiled wider, pretty shiny eyes shining under the moonlight and completely oblivious of the lustful meaning of his words. What an innocent girl. “Okay, how about I play for you…, If you play for me too? What do you say, hm?” he said, pulling over in front of your house and stopping the car to turn to look at you. “Do we have a deal, gorgeous?” he inquired while offering you one of his hands on a shake.

You bit your bottom lip anxiously. “Okay.” you muttered, talking his hand in between yours, amazed by how his rough fingertips stayed warm even in the coldest of nights and just how long his fingers were compared to yours. A lightning went down though your whole body when his free hand reached your face, thumb pressing against your bottom lip as his eyes took in just how perfectly sinful they seemed. He dreamed of someday tasting them, breaking them with his teeth.

“I can’t wait.” he whispered, your doe eyes staring into his when he flashed you a smile and pulled away. “Now, get home safe, gorgeous. Don’t keep your parents waiting.” you nodded, following his orders and getting off of the van, not before pressing a soft kiss on his cheek, a shy giggle falling off your lips.

“Thank you for taking me home. I’ll see you next Sunday!” you waved goodbye as you walked towards your door, cheeks flushed and a big smile.

He gave you a wave just as you closed the front door behind your back, his raised hand pressing against the tingling skin of his cheek, where your lips had rested.

She’ll be the death of me…

He thought as he stared his van once again.

And that was just the start of everything.

You and Eddie became close pretty quickly. Was he the best influence? Absolutely not, since he had found a way to take you to the last church’s bench just to keep you giggling and blushing all the way through mass.

He had even introduced you to his friends. They were really cool…, different. There was this little genius named Dustin, who along with his friends always played D&D Friday afternoons, Steve and Robin, who worked on the Film Store and were always discussing the best films of history, and Nancy, the sweetest yet fearless girl you had ever met. At first you felt like an intruder, but they seemed to like you as much as you liked them, since they started to invite you to your hangouts and always ask Eddie about you when they had the chance.

Your parents were surprised, if not astonished, at first when they met Eddie and your group. They were so used to those prude bible lover classmates of yours that it was a shock for them. But once they saw just how happy it all made you, they decided that they’d accept it only if you continued with your bible studies and went to church every Sunday, what you obviously weren’t planning on stop doing.

Something forbidden though, was having boys at home, even more in your room.

But the first time that Eddie knocked on your window a Friday night it all want to… well, Hell.

You were laying on your bed after having had a long bath and fully clothed on your flared night dress, reading a little bit of one of the books that Eddie had lended you: Lord of the Rings. He said that once you had finished the first one he would give you the second. You would lie if you said you understood something, if not anything. But you weren’t that far on the book yet, so maybe you just had to give it time. You were lost on the inked papers when suddenly someone knocked at your window, startling you. With widened eyes you turned just to see a smiling metal head waving at you and pointing at the window lock with a little smile. You quickly closed the book and walked towards it, unlocking it just to see the curly haired get in without making a sound.

“Eddie?” you clasped over your mouth when you found yourself speaking too loud, whispering when your lips parted once again. “What are you doing here!?”

“Just wanted to see you, gorgeous. Is that a sin?” he mocked you, wandering around your bedroom and taking every single detail in as you hurriedly closed and locked your door.

Eddie found himself mesmerized by your room, it was a complete opposite of his: clean, organized, pink…

You grasped away from his hands one of your teddy bears that he had took to inspect, his brown eyes back on you.

“You know you can’t be here! What if my parents found out?” he hushed you with a soft smile on his lips, hands on your shoulders.

“They won’t. I promise, alright? I parked the van one block down your neighborhood, they won’t even suspect. Never saw me climb in too, so we’re safe.” you seemed relieved, falling on your bed and him following, sitting on his book and pulling it off under him just to smile and look at you. “You’re reading it!” you looked at him.

“Well yeah, at least I’m trying. Everything is so confusing…” he let out a little chuckle.

“You know that if you need my help you just want to ask me, sweetheart. I can explain to you the lore in less than thirty minutes from all the times that I’ve read the saga.”

You giggled when he bumped the book on your head, making him let out a soft laughter too before he would make you blush —like always— by complimenting just how beautiful you looked that night.

Even though you always feared him getting caught by one of your parents every single time he sneaked in and, getting you grounded, with every new secret visit, that fear slowly disappeared.

Eddie made you feel good, and safe. He always talked to you about his day, giving you as much details as he could just so you could feel how being a Hawkins High student felt like. Of course, he took out Jason’s bullying and how everyone thought of him as a freak in fear you’d end up thinking about him the same way they thought about him, which was stupid, since you adored Eddie.

He was always the sweetest, always taking care of you, making sure you were warm every night after church, comfortable on his van’s seat… Making sure you had something to eat, trying his best to make you feel like the most important thing in the whole world… It made your heart beat pretty quickly when he would take your hand when you walked down the streets, making you go on the inside part and telling you to be careful with the rain poodles in case you’d go and slip.

He always let you hide on his chest when you watched scary movies with him on his trailer, and gave you his shirt and sweats —which were too big for you— to sleep if you ever decided to spend the night. He even lent you his bed and slept on the couch. He was a gentleman.

Or that’s what he wanted you to think. ‘Cause he really was no saint. He had to fought a boner every time you’d sleep over, or fall asleep on his chest after a long movie night, or ignore the way your tongue swirled around an ice cream, or how your tits bounced while running for him and pressed against his chest, or fight the urge to touch when while reading your little cotton panties would show under your night gown, or when your skirt would rile up a little bit too much exposing your perfect thighs… Fuck. He had had to go to the bathroom multiple times to masturbate and get it over with or else he would feel like going crazy.

He wanted you, really wanted you. Wanted to make you choke on his dick, to touch you over your panties in the last church’s bench while the mass went on, make you grind on him in the confessional, he wanted to hear you moan in his ear as he pounded in you in Steve’s bathroom while the others watched a movie downstairs, he wanted to mark your neck just so you would struggle to hide them from your catholic little teacher and friends. God, he was the devil, and you were that pretty little angel that he so wanted to corrupt all for himself.

He had dreamed about you, crying while being too cock drunk, begging for him to fuck you harder. He would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air and with cum in his underwear when he once dreamed about you calling him your god.

He felt sick. He was sick. Sick for wanting to hurt you, to cuff you to his bed as he ate you out over and over again ‘till you couldn’t cum anymore, for taking a knife and cutting his initials on your flesh only to lick clean the wound and then let you taste it on his lips, he wanted to fill you up with his cum and watch it drip out of your tight little cunt just to get hard again and fuck you one more time. He wanted to spank you so you wouldn’t be able to sit on your chair next morning, he wanted to choke you and hear your whimpers as he fucked you stupid.

He had even stolen your used panties from the dirty laundry once that he had sneaked on your bathroom under the excuse to pee, just to fuck his fist —once he was back in his trailer— with them and lick the crotch as he pleasured himself while fantasizing about it being your pussy instead. He had even risked waking you up while masturbating next to you in your slumber, for fucks sakes!

He wanted to hear you scream his name so bad… Hear you beg for him to do anything he wanted to you, to fill you up, to break you, to…

“Eddie?” you sweet voice filled his ears, pulling him away from his train of thought. You two were alone for the night in your house, your parents having gone away on a trip due to work and leaving you all alone, to what you’ve asked Eddie if he could stay with you since you were scared. After a couple of minutes, he was knocking on your door with all types of movies and snacks. And there you were, in your room, under the dim light of your lamp and the television, which played ‘The Exorcist’.

It was not the first night the two of you had spent alone in your room, he had slept over each time your parents were away just to keep you company and hugged you ‘till you had fallen asleep. But something was wrong that night. Well, you had been feeling kind of strange for a while now.

It all started a couple of weeks ago where one of your friends had come to school with flushed cheeks and a scarf around her neck, which was strange since it was not that cold yet. It was not ‘till recess when she had told you all about it and taken of her scarf to show her little secret. She was full of hickeys, something you’ve learned not too long ago. You didn’t understand what had happened ‘till she whispered about the weekend he had spend with his boyfriend on her house, while his parents were away for vacation. She had given all of you clear details about how she had gotten those and how his boyfriend had —and you quoted— wrecked the shit out of her. Even though you were quite lost, you knew that whatever she had done was a sin, since they were out of marriage. But when you told her so she just went and told you ‘As if you didn’t have a boy that you’d like to fuck too.’ Your eyes had widened at her words, cheeks flushing and confusion settling on your head when suddenly Eddie’s face came to your mind.

That day, you spent the whole school time thinking about it, fire on your stomach when suddenly you’d imagined yourself with your neck full of bruises just like your friends but this time being Eddie the one that had sucked them on you. Was then when you started feeling strange, your whole body flushing and a really uncomfortable tingle in your lower parts that had you awkwardly brushing against your chair from time to time, what only made it worse.

You thought it had gone away, but then you had met Eddie the next day in church and that feeling had come back to haunt you, worsening with the little strokes that his fingertips gave to the thigh where his hand rested. You had tried and praying it away, too embarrassed to even think about what that exactly meant and trying to erase your friend’s words out of your head.

Although everything went down hill when you woke up one night startled and with slick in your panties due to a very indecent dream you had had. You didn’t understood why, but you had taken the teddy bear that Eddie was always messing with and pushed it in between your thighs in hopes that it would stop that tingly feeling that so crazy was driving you, only to find yourself pushing against it when you felt good… Really good even. Even more when you went ahead and went though your dream one more time. It was Eddie, slowly kissing your neck, skin glistening due to his tongue and little open mouthed kissed and bites that he had given you, and not really knowing how, that same mouth had ended up finding its way in between your thighs and buried himself there. But you got scared as your stomach tightened and pushed it away, gasping for air with tears in your eyes as you grasped tightly your rosary in between your fingers and prayed and prayed over and over again. Although the pain never left.

You couldn’t even look at Eddie’s face due to the embarrassment that night after church, and prayed the whole day after that, scared that some demon had come to hurt you on your sleep.

What would Eddie think of you? What would God think about you?

You had tried everything. Everything to push it away, to forget about it.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he was drawing little circles on your bare thighs, your head against his shoulder and chest, your arms around his waist.

Yet there was it, that stupid feeling once again, making you all flushed and wet down there due to just a pair of simple touches from your best friend.

“Can you… Can you please stop touching me?” you inquired him with a soft and hurt voice, trying really hard not to brush yourself against your bed sheets for that relief you had felt once with your plush. No. It’s wrong. It’s wrong…

He seemed surprised at first at your words, but quickly pulled his hand away from your skin, worry on his voice. “I’m sorry, gorgeous, was I making you feel uncomfortable?”

Surprisingly enough, you whined when you felt the urge to ask him to touch you again, feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated and scared that tears started to form on your eyes. Eddie’s widened when he heard your little gasps and hiccups, being quick to stop the movie and turn to you, his eyes finding your teary ones.

“Hey…” his voice was filled with sadness as his hands cupped your rosy cheeks, his eyebrows turned and face worried. “What’s wrong, gorgeous?” his thumbs swayed the tears away as you cried, shattering his heart.

“I— I don’t feel good.” you muttered, making him worry even more.

“Why? Are you feeling sick? Does it hurt somewhere?” you nodded, crying even harder, your hands fisting his shirt. “Where? Where does it hurt?” he inquired you but you simply shook your head.

“I can’t… I can’t tell you.” and you truly couldn’t, what would Eddie think of you? He would hate you! He would leave you alone and then you two wouldn’t be friends anymore.

He looked so concerned he seemed pale. “Tell me where it hurts, baby, please?” he inquired and you only buried your face on his neck. “Please baby, please?”

You hid even more before you could mumble something his ears didn’t catch, your breath on his skin making him slightly shiver.

New tears damped his tee as you cried on his neck, him not truly understanding, taking your face in between his hands once more and away from his neck to try and understand as he tried to push away that lingering pleasure of seeing your tears.

“I don’t understand, sweetheart. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just… I just can’t make it stop!” you frustratedly whimpered, your thighs pushing together.

“What is it, gorgeous? You know you can always tell me anything, I’m here for you, okay? I’m here for you.” he promised, giving you a slight kiss on your forehead.

“It hurts very bad, Eddie.” and when he softly asked you again where you muttered a “Down… Down there.” your pretty voice came out as a whisper, but he was still able to hear it, his eyes drifting to your legs, which pressed tightly against the other.

“Down there, baby?” you nodded.

“It feels hot and hurts when you touch me and I can’t make it stop. I’m sorry, I’m veryveryvery sorry Eddie, please don’t be mad, please?” you begged him, his heart skipping a beat when you confirmed his guessing.

You were… You were, fuck.

“I’m not mad, doll.” he gave you a sweet smile as he pushed the last few tears away from your cheeks.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.” he nodded, gulping hard when you squirmed under his touch once one of his hands had found his way to your thighs. “But I need to you show me where it hurts, okay sweetheart? I don’t really know what you mean.” he said, rubbing circles on your warm skin.

Oh, he knew what you meant. He perfectly knew. But it was too good to be true. You? Hot and bothered because of him? God was really playing with him right now, right? This couldn’t be…

“Can you do that for me, hm?” you nodded when his soft voice reached you, your own shaky little hand taking his just to push your thighs apart and slowly start to drag it inwards, a sigh scaping your lips.

This was one of those goddamn dreams, it had to be. It had to… Jesus H Crisht.

“There.” you stuttered when his palm was fully cupping your clothed cunt, the warmth and wetness in your panties making him moan.

“Is there where it hurts, baby?” you nodded, your eyes closing as your teeth captured your bottom lip. “Since when does it hurt, hm?” he inquired, trying really hard to stay still and not push those goddamn beautiful panties away to push his fingers roughly inside you and make you scream.

“Since a couple of days.” ‘Since the dream’. You wanted to add.

“My poor baby, all frustrated and bothered. You must have really had a bad time…” you nodded, almost crying once again, when his other hand cupped your wet and warm cheek, his lips on your ear as he whispered. “I know what’s wrong with you.”

“You know?” you inquired, your voice holding a little bit of hope in all that list that you really couldn’t understand.

“Mmh, mmh.” he muttered, thumb pressing against your bottom lip, eyes on it as his tongue dampened his own. “It happens to me too… All the time. But only when I’m with you.” you gasped at his words, quivering when his minty breath hit your face. “I know how to make it feel better. Do you want me to make it feel better, gorgeous?” you quickly nodded, your hips bucking towards his hand when his fingertips slowly and softly made its way down your slit, still not pressing into your wet folds.

“Yes please, Eddie. Please.” you begged, making him grin at your broken pleads, even more when your head fell backwards and you moaned when his touch became rougher, his body moving ‘till he now rested behind you, your back against his chest.

“Does that feel good, baby?” he asked, his fingers touching your clit over your pink panties. You nodded. “Words, gorgeous. Use your words.” his index pressed harder and you whined, your fingers fisting the floral sheets under you.

“Yes. Yes. Feels… Feels good, Eddie.” you found a way to babble out, too out of it.

“Look at you, I’m only touching you over your panties and you are already like this.” he chuckled. “Such a good dirty girl.” you whimpered at his words, hips pushing against his touch, shaking when his lips found your neck. “Why don’t you be good for me and get rid of your panties, mh?”

You were quick to push them down your thighs, your slick forming a thick string in between the cotton and your cunt that made Eddie groan, dick fully hard underneath his jeans.

“Good girl.” he praised you, his hand going back in between your thighs, taking your breath away. “Does that feel better now?” you nodded, incredibly overwhelmed by the difference that it was having him touching you under you clothes then above. Hell, if you had been close to cumming with just your teddy bear, you were now seconds away from bursting. “I bet it does. So pretty.” his middle finger pressed against your entrance, circling it and making you moan his name.

“Eddie.” he groaned when it fell from your lips, your nails digging on his thighs as you pulsed against his fingertips. “More.” you didn’t truly know what you were asking for, but the words came on it’s own as you whimpered, pushing against his finger.

“Does my pretty girl want more?” you answered with a plead ‘yes, please’. “Then open up for me a little bit more, baby.” he said against your neck, sucking slightly on your skin and making you moan as your thighs parted to their limits. “That’s it.” you cried out when his finger slowly pushed against the ring of muscles, sinking in when it gave out.

“Eddie…” you whimpered, the strange feeling of his finger inside of, you slowly pulling backwards just to push back in once again, making your head spin, the wet sounds of your pussy receiving his digits making him lose his mind.

“Fuck.” he groaned, his hard dick pushing against your lower back. He was so hard he swore he could cum just with your whimpers and moans. “That’s it baby, you’re being so good…” your nails dug harder on his thighs when he tried his luck by pushing another finger in, this one stinging but not for long since his thumb pressed against your clit and his two fingers curved to hit your g spot.

You then became a mumbling mess, begging for that feeling again, for more from him and crying and moaning his name over and over again.

You were feeling once again that strange and overwhelming pressure in your lower stomach. And he knew, since your walls were tightening around his fingers, that you were close. Close to the best feeling that you had yet to know.

“Eddie, I…”

“You close, gorgeous? Gonna cum all over my fingers?” he muttered against the skin of your neck. “Gonna scream my name as you cum, hm?”

You didn’t know what it was, but you were so close, so close.

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Let me have it.” and with a last breath you broke down in cries and high pitched moans, his name falling off your lips as the best thing you had ever experienced hit you. It was warm, and so intense that it made you lose focus of your surroundings, making you go blind as Eddie groaned in your neck, biting down on your soft skin. “Atta girl.” you whimpered as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm, your thighs twitching and tears in your eyes as your walls fluttered around his rough and thick fingers. “Fuck baby, that was so hot.”

You gasped for air as you came down, your head against his shoulder and entrance twitching when his cum covered fingers left you and found its way to his mouth, licking them clean and tasting you with a hum.

You whined at the sight, making him smirk. “What is it, want a taste sweetheart?” you nodded, half-lided eyes shining with pleasure. “Then open your mouth for me.” you did so as he turned your face with one of his hands just to lean on you, his tongue sloppy but hungry in your mouth and his free hand groped one of your breasts, making you moan.

It was your first kiss, and even if you had imagined it a thousand times how it would be before, it was definitely not like that. It was messy, and hot, and really difficult to follow. That’s why you found yourself pulling him back in from his neck, wanting more of his lips on yours and your taste in his mouth. But he just wouldn’t give it to you, chuckling mere inches from your face making you whine.

“Nuh-uh, that’s not how we ask for things, beautiful.”

“Please, Eddie…” you whispered against his lips, his thumb pulling on your bottom lip ‘till your mouth was open for him once again.

“Stick your tongue out.” he ordered, and you followed, moaning when he leaned in once again, his tongue bruising your own and making your eyes roll when his free hand snuck back to your thighs, this time ascending to your tummy, all the way up ‘till his fingertips bumped against your under boobs. “Fuck, you are not wearing a bra, baby?” you shook your head, his dick twitching against your back, but later against your thighs once he had pushed you on your back and quickly topped you. “Such a tease…” he mumbled against the skin on your neck, giving you a harsh bite that made you cry and pushed him flush against you, his hands taking a hold on your pretty tits under your shirt, your nipples hard and begging to be touched.

“Eddie, please… Kiss me, please.” you pleaded for him to go back to your lips, to your tongue, intoxicated by his touch, his words and his hard dick pressing against your skin. You so wanted to be touched again, to be relieved from that pain that once again grew in between your thighs.

“So pretty begging for me, do you want it that bad?” you nodded, squirming under his touch and letting out a hurt whimper when he pinched and pulled your nipples, leaving that tingle and warmth spread on your skin. “Cant hear you baby.”

“I want it, please, please, please…” your hips pushed against his when he found his way in between your legs, wet pussy against the rough denim of his crotch. “Please, Eddie, it hurts.” new tears came to your eyes, moaning over and over again when he started to dry hump against you, rubbing your sensitive clit and making you see stars.

“Such a greedy little bitch.” you cried out at his words, all that sweet talk leaving him when his palm hardly fell on the flesh of your thigh, making your body jolt. “Gave you my fingers and yet you don’t find it enough?” the next slap made you push harder against his cock, making him groan in your chest as he snapped the buttons of your shirt just to let his tongue freely lap at your tits, biting and sucking hardly on your skin, leaving beautiful marks behind.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” you cried, one of your hands instantly going to take a hold on the little cross that dangled from your neck, something you did as you prayed and in times where you felt like giving into sin.

“You gonna pray, whore? Gonna pray to god while I fuck you?” he inquired, his grip on your wrists as he pushed your hands away from your necklace and over your head. You moaned when the denim brushed over your cunt once again, it dampening due to how wet you were. “He’s not the one making you feel better, sweetheart. You should be praying to me. It’s me who you should be begging and for which you’d go down on your knees, don’t you think, hm?” you nodded even though the grip on your wrists pained you and his teeth harshly dug on the skin of your neck, ‘cause it felt so good, better than anything you’ve experienced before. “What a dirty slut, giving in to me just so I make you cum, isn’t that right? Say it. Say you want me to make you cum all over my cock.” your body grew on goosebumps to his orders, you babbling and trying to make sense of the words who left your lips, receiving a harsh slap when you could find a way to pull them in order. “Come on, sweetheart, I know you want it. You want me to make you feel good again, right? You want to make me feel good?” you quickly nodded, eyes closed as he dry humped against your aching cunt. You no longer wanted his fingers, you were in need of something bigger, something that would fill you up to the brim and make you choke out on it. “Then say it, baby. I know you can.”

Your lips parted in a cry when one of his hands left your wrists just to find its way to your clit, thighs shaking as you felt the pressure start to build again in your stomach, lifting you higher and higher.

“Please, Eddie. Make me…” you whimpered when his circling didn’t stop. “I want to cum on your cock.” you managed to say, not really caring anymore about the eyes that watched you up from the sky. If God loved you…, then why would he make this a sin? Why could something that felt so good be bad? Maybe Eddie was right, maybe it was him your truly God.

You found yourself tugging against his hand and trying to push him back to your core when he pulled away, leaving you with an orgasm that never came and shaking on your place, begging in between little whispers and mutters.

“Fuck. Look at you. All messed up and I haven’t even begun to fuck you. You are gonna do good for me, isn’t that right baby? You are gonna take it, gonna take my cock and cum on it over and over again, and fucking take it.” when he finally freed your wrists, your hands quickly searched up for him, his own unbuckling his belt as you nodded, pushing his jeans and boxers —wet with precum — down his thighs, freeing his aching and swollen dick, which bumped against his happy trail. You eyes widened at the sight. So that was what had been poking you that whole time. It was strangely beautiful. Mushroom tip wet and red, great length and girth with a couple of veins on its side… It had a little curve too. “Are you gonna be a good girl for me, gorgeous?” you nodded, eyes never leaving his cock when his hand gripped and started moving around it, soft groans that made your pussy clench leaving his lips. “Then why don’t you open up yourself for me, hm? Let me see that pretty pussy of yours.” you moaned at his hungry gaze, tongue sliding through his bottom lip as your hands snaked down your chest and stomach to your thighs and later on, your folds, your fingers digging on your wetness just to open them up, giving him a full view of your twitching hole and clit. “Fuck. Atta girl. You’re so good baby, so good for me.” you whimpered, hips pushing against his own when he was once again in between your thighs, tip sliding though your folds and bumping your clit, making you moan and your head fall back.

Your hands quickly found the bottom of his shirt, and later, his bare back, your eyes wandering on the ink that decorated his skin. You’d seen it before, of course, since he mostly wandered around shirtless in his van, but it never failed to amaze you. It was just so beautiful… He moaned when your nails dig on his shoulder blades, his dick twitching against your entrance and slightly pushing against it and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Eddie, I need you, please God, I need you…” you babbled out, pushing against him and pulling him closer, the grip on your hip tightened as he smirked.

“Who are you begging to baby? Me or God?” his mouth hovered over your neck, his tongue flattening in a long wet strip from your collarbones to your ear, whispering there and making your skin prickle. “Or maybe I’m both?” you moaned and he just smiled wider. “Yeah?” his eyebrows rose as you nodded, bottom lip in between your teeth and breath hitching when his tip pushed inwards once again, teasing you. “Am I your God, sweetheart?” you nodded again, moaning when he softly bit your jaw. “Then pray to me.” he mumbled, his tip finally pushing and gaining a lustful and painful whine from your lips. “Worship me.” he groaned as he slowly thrusted in your wetness, cursing under his breath since you were so tight he felt like exploding.

Sure, it hurt. It was your first time. You hadn’t even ever touched yourself before that night, Eddie’s fingers doing the honors to let you know that that kind of pleasure was possible in a human being. And that it was okay. Your bedroom floor hadn’t cracked open to let you fall to Hell, like you’d feared, instead, rising you to Heaven, higher and higher above the clouds and nearer the sun.

He was so big that you felt like dying, so heavy and warm inside you that had you all messed up and crying under him due to the desire and pleasure that surrendered you to his touch. Your tears bringing him to groan as he bottomed out, he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t yet believe that he was inside you, fucking you, making you cry and beg for him. “Fuck.” he cursed, trying to focus on not cumming on the spot, trying to ignore the way your walls surrounded him and your body twitched, nails digging in his back as you rocked against him. “So good, baby. You’re such a good girl.” you whimpered, his hands wondering around your body and giving you soft squeezes as encouragement. He was waiting for you, waiting for the pain to dissipate and you to get used to him being deep inside you. When your rocking became more noticeable, he smiled at your pretty moans.

“Eddie…” you called out for him, gasping for air when he pulled out ‘till only the tip remained inside and thrusted back in, hitting something inside you that made you see stars and cry out.

“That’s it.” he cooed, pounding on you once again, hair caressing your chest and his lips brushing against yours. “Such a pretty girl taking my cock.” you whimpered, his tongue pushing inside your mouth and kissing you dirtily as his groans made you gasp. It was too much. Too much. “Take it, doll. Take my cock. Just like that, fuck. Good girl.” you moaned his name as his hips started to take up on speed. “You like that? Like my cock? This sweet pussy of yours seems to love it.” he smirked as a new thrust let you hear the dirt sounds of your juices against his dick. “So greedy, sucking me in so good. Such a slut.” you screamed when his hand fell harshly against the side of your thigh.

The only thing you could do was moan his name over and over again, the constant hitting to that sweet spot inside you driving you crazy and nearing you to that now known feeling of relief.

“Look at you, so cock drunk you can’t even talk.” he laughed, thrusting harder, deeper, faster… “You’re drooling all over yourself, baby.” you gagged when two of his fingers went into your mouth, drool dampening them and spilling over your chin. “What a pretty girl. So pretty letting me fuck her just how I want.” he moaned when your walls tightened around him. “Taking me so good. Such a good little toy.” you cried, his fingers making your pleading all muffled and broken. “You liked that, baby? Like me to treat you badly?” another slap on your thigh had you nodding like crazy, his name falling off of tour lips when his fingers left your mouth only to wrap around your throat, making the oxygen hardly full your lungs and blood flow to your brain.“I’m sure you’d let me cum in you, isn’t that right. I can bet you even want it. Want my cum filling you up so good you’d beg me for it every goddamn day, isn’t that right, gorgeous?” you nodded, begging for it and making him grunt on your mouth, his tongue pushing against your lips. You choked at the feeling of his fingers digging on your neck, his name falling off your lips like a church song.

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…” new tears streamed down your face when his fingers found your clit. And by the way you were tightening around him he new you were close.

“Gonna cum baby? Gonna cum on my cock?” you nodded, moans closer to each other. “What a good girl. Cum for me baby, let me hear you.” you didn’t even wait to do so, cumming so hard you swore the world was falling to pieces around you, your sweet choked out whimpers making him lose control, fucking you harshly and mercilessly, your hands leaving his shoulders to press against his stomach, scratching him when he wouldn’t even let you rest from your high, which never seemed to finish.

“Too much, it’s… It’s too much, Eddie, please…” you begged, choked by his hand, feeling the constant pounding build something different inside you. “Stop! Stop… Something’s… Something’s gonna come out!” you begged, but he didn’t seemed to listen, too out of it due to just how pretty you looked crying and getting the shit fucked out of you by his cock.

He moaned at your arching back and high pitched scream, juices gushing out of your pussy and dampening his cock, thighs and your sheets. His eyes widened when he seemed to understand what had just happened.

“Did you just… Fuck baby. Did you just squirted?” you were a crying mess under him, too overwhelmed to even answer or really understand what had just happened. “Fuck, that was so hot. I’m gonna fucking cum.” he moaned as his thrusts became sloppier and his groans louder, fucking you faster but not as deep as he sought his own release while his name fell off your lips over and over again. “y/n, ah fuck, so good, I’m gonna cum so hard… Gonna fill you up so good, so full…” he moaned when after one, two, three more deep thrusts he spilled in you, painting your walls in white and making you moan at the feeling, your name falling off his lips on whimpers when his arms gave out and fell on top of you.

The two were a goddamn mess, all sticky and sweaty, you whimpered when he kissed you once again, this kiss being sloppier and more lazy, sweet. A little gasp left your lips when his fingers tightened around your necklace and pulled, stealing it from your neck. “You won’t be needing this anymore.” he smirked, instead taking his own off his neck, the one with his red pick dangling, and pulling it over your head. “Since from now on you’d be on your knees for me, hm?” you nodded, sighing when his lips where back to yours, hissing a little bit when he pulled out of you, cum dripping down your thighs onto the wet sheets as he put on your own necklace, the cross shining under your lamp’s light. “You’re mine now, sweetheart.”

thanks to everyone who comments, likes and reblogs, it really helps this blog to reach more and more people!!! hope y’all liked this post! &lt;3

also, thanks for the 400 followers! y’all are the best!!!!

[danhoemei]

Hi, danhoemei.....if you don't mind me asking who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hello thanad-zid, the curious sweetheart 💚 I don't mind at all, you actually made me think about the series I haven't thought about for so long! (I'll answer excluding danmei because that's material for a whole separate post and I partly answered that)

19 days by Old Xian - tianshan

(and zhanyi who I love with my whole heart but tianshan is The One for me akjvsbdv)

Tough on the outside but soft on the inside delinquent and the devilish lonely rich boy who'll go batshit crazy if his friends are in danger. Both of them learning to trust and very slowly showing their vulnerable sides to each other.... I can't say much, it's already a spoiler that they become closer because in the story they start as strangers or even "enemies". They're also secondary characters so they make appearance later in the story and gradually gain more importance (well, it started with them being secondary but tbh now they're one of the main characters with a lot of focus AND I AM SO HAPPY). But anyway, I am absolutely obsessed with them.

The original main pair (zhanyi) has completely different dynamic and vibe, but I love them and enjoy their story and relationship very much as well <3

This series has such variety of multilayered characters who honestly could have their own separate manhuas. I absolutely recommend 19 days, it started like absolute crack but gained so much depth and action and angst and questioning yourself and 'am I abnormal for having feelings for you' and trust and progress in relationships and-

I love this manhua so much, please read it, if you enjoy danmei you'll enjoy it.

Their story by Tan Jiu

You want a sweet story about a lesbiab who fell in love at first sight and then pursued her love interest, firstly becoming friends and learning about each other, everything among a lot of humor and shenanigans? Well here you go.

Brooklyn 9-9 - Jake and Amy & Friends - Monica and Chandler

I see similarities so I put them together lmao. They are wholesome and sweet, support each other no matter what, work for their dreams and for people they hold dear. The guys are hella funny but also very smart and cool, the girls are intense and ambitious and need to have everything under control but are also very sweet and loving. The shows are light and hilarious, good as a stress relief.

The Good Place - Chidi and Eleanor

First of all I recommend The Good Place in general, a wild ride of unexpected twists and turns, each reveal more “whaaat” than the previous one, with diverse representation and filled with philosophical questions and lessons, created by people who love philosophy. Its humor is incredible as well akjvndfv

Chidi and Eleanor are complete opposites - a nerd with severe anxiety issues who spent his whole life buried in books, and a bi disaster who partied hard, made a lot of bad things, and cared mostly about herself. They learn from each other and complement each other, all the while growing and changing right in front of our eyes.

Aggretsuko - Retsuko and Haida

HAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im love him your honor. Get a partner who can do both (be sweet and supportive, be badass and taking no bullshit). I truly believe they'd be happy and just right for each other, and I want them to be together 😭😭

Yuri on ice - Yuri and Victor

akhdbsdjkfnlsdf if you watched this then you know why. I recommend it if you want a good quality lgbt anime with an interesting story, diverse characters, and beautiful skating scenes 💚 I love this wholesome duo so much T^T

Svvord of Truth - Richard and KahIan

I kinda feel like I owe it to them to mention them here, probably my earliest couple on this list. It’s an old high fantasy series which I read when I plunged straight into puberty, I haven't read it as a more mature person so I wonder if there are some harmful stereotypes I didn't see or how many typical tropes there are (well e.g. the main guy is so ridiculously overpowered and smarter/holier-than-thou, and there is a lot of black and white there) but also it’s a really complex world with interesting mechanics. However, what truly makes me remember this series fondly is because it was there with me when I was going through a lot of hardships, showing me a rich world with many people worth loving, strong women who I admired and strived to be, wise people of different backgrounds, cultures, and ages. It taught me how important it is to be kind and compassionate, that no matter how desperate your situation can get there is always hope and a way, that people who care about you will be there for you when you need them, and that you need to reciprocate as well. To always “think about the solution, not about the problem” which became the thing I repeat to myself every time I start struggling. The main couple also showed me what I want to strive for in a good relationship - support, understanding, standing by each other’s side no matter what, deep respect for each other and treating each other as equals, working for the relationship, and most importantly trusting each other. The series might be a typical high fantasy but for my growing and messed up mind it was a good teacher who reminded me of things we consider obvious but tend to forget, and might have played a significant role in who I am now.

Ok, I wanted to add a short bullet-point list of some other couples but this list is already long so let’s end here xd

[vintagepresley]

Sorry I'm so late on this! Thanks for tagging me @presleysdarling & @peaceloveelvis

Elvis tag game by @headfullofpresley

When was the first time you heard Elvis?

I watched Full House a lot as a kid so uncle Jesse was my introduction to Elvis. I never understood his obsession back then. I knew a lot of mainstream songs from the 50's, though.

What's your favorite era?

I love all of his eras, but I definitely favor the 70's the most.

Favorite song(s) from the 50s?

My Happiness/Don't Leave Me Now/Love Me Tender/That's When Your Heartaches Begin. (this was really hard to choose there's so many lol)

Favorite song(s) from the 60s?

Soldier Boy/Such a Night, There's Always Me/Return to Sender/Tiger Man/Only The Strong Survive/Any Day Now/Suspicious Minds/Don't Cry Daddy/Mama Liked The Roses/Do You Know Who I Am/U.S Male.

Favorite Songs(s) from the 70s?

Oh god there's so many... I Just Can't Help Believin'/Twenty Days and Twenty Nights/How The Web Was Woven/Mary In the Morning/Just Pretend/The Next Step Is Love/Help Me Make It Through The Night/Until Its Time For You To Go/We Can Make The Morning/Sylvia/The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face/For The Good Times. (and so many more lol)

All Time Favorite Songs you can't skip?

Burning Love, An American Trilogy, Polk Salad Annie, Never Been to Spain

Least Favorite Song?

I don't know if I have one, but... Can't Help Falling In Love in my opinion is overhyped he has so many better songs. I still love it. But I'm not actively seeking to listen to it. 😭

Favorite Gospel song(s)?

You'll Never Walk Alone, How Great Thou Art, Lead me, Guide Me.

Favorite Country song(s)?

Make The World Go Away, She Thinks I Still Care, I Forgot To Remember To Forget, Kentucky Rain.

Favorite Non English Song?

Wooden Heart

A song(s) that make you feel nostalgic?

Young and Beautiful, In My Way, Angel.

A song(s) that make you cry?

Unchained Melody for sure. I can't even listen to it. 😭

Favorite Song(s) Elvis has covered?

Rags to Riches, Words, Hey Jude, Memphis Tennessee, Bridge Over Troubled Water.

What's a modern song you wish you could hear elvis cover?

I think I mentioned this before but 'He Stopped Loving Her Today' by George Jones. I'd also love to hear him sing anything by Lana Del Rey, lol

Do you prefer vinyl or cd?

Vinyl all day.

Favorite album?

That's The Way It Is, Elvis Now. I also love any of his albums where it's him recording songs and goofing around.

Favorite movie soundtrack?

King Creole, G.I Blues

Favorite live performance?

Suspicious Minds from TTWII and Fever because he knows exactly what does to the women and just laughs, lol

A live performance you wish you were present at?

Either the Hawaii special, the comeback special, or his first show at the International.

Favorite Jumpsuits?

This one and also the baby blue and red one.

This one is also another favorite. It's the choker lol

Favorite movie?

King Creole, Follow That Dream, Wild In The Country, Change of Habit, The Trouble With Girls, Live a Little Love a Little.

Least favorite movie?

Harum Scarum, Clambake, Roustabout

Favorite costar?

Michele Carey, Marlyn Mason

Favorite documentary?

Elvis On Tour 😩

Favorite Interview?

The Truth About Me interview from 57' or his interview from Houston, TX in 70'.

Favorite car?

The Strutz Blackhawk

Do you collect merch? If so, what's the one thing you hold dear to your heart?

Lmaooo, I do. Probably too much merch. Hm, I would say my favorite things in my collect is my Elvis pendent that wear all the time and this LP I bought called The Elvis Tapes that has been unopened for 40 years and is one of the original first pressings of it. It's an interview with Elvis in 1957.

Do you think you'll be a fan of Elvis for the rest of your life?

YESSS. This is not a phase it's a lifestyle at this point. I will love that man for the rest of my life.

Tagging: @marriedtopresley @vintageshanny @emmymaehereeeeee. @generoustreemystic and anyone else who wants to do it!

elvis tag game by @headfullofpresley 💗

this is gonna be so loong i apologize in advance 😭😭 i have a lot of thoughts and opinions

tagging: @lllsaslll @elvisfatass @prayerstopresley @kiankiwi-blog and whoever wants to do this 😅

questions under the cut bc i rly listed a good chunk of his discography lol

When was the first time you heard of Elvis?

i'm sure my parents have played something of his growing up, i was more into mj than anything else. i wish i could remember like....the first real time i was ever really introduced to him. he's been referenced in so many of my interests that im sure there was i time i was like 10 and being like "oh that's an elvis reference" lol

what's your favorite era?

70s!!!! big daddy era as y'all call it 😅

favorite song(s) from the 50s?

trying to get to you, i'm counting on you, love me, don't be cruel, lawdy miss clawdy, as long as i have you, trouble, crawfish, i want you i need you i love you, one sided love affair, loving you, young and beautiful ...... i should probably stop before i list them all

favorite song(s) from the 60s

fever, such a night, im coming home, pocketful of rainbows, edge of reality, almost in love, can't help falling in love, the walls have ears, do not disturb, cotton candy land, it's now or never, rubberneckin', summer kisses winter tears, crying in the chapel, suspicious minds....literally everything on from elvis in memphis. god i want to list more but i need to STOP!!

favorite song(s) from the 70s

runaway, polk salad annie, you've lost that loving feeling, moody blue(duh), rags to riches, funny how time slips away, american trilogy!!!!!!!!!, hurt, make the world go away, the wonder of you

all time favorite songs that you can't skip?

suspicious minds, an american trilogy, pocketful of rainbows, i'm coming home, rubberneckin', honestly there's so many. i feel bad if i skip sometimes LOL

least favorite song?

im so sorry but tutti frutti💔

favorite gospel song(s)?

i still need to dive more into his gospel music, but i really love crying in the chapel and you never walk alone.

favorite country song(s)?

funny how time slips away, kentucky rain, always on my mind, make the world go away

favorite non english song?

wooden heart <3

a song(s) that make you feel nostalgic?

can't help falling in love 💗

a song(s) that makes you cry?

unchained melody!!!!! lord i can barely listen to it 😭

a song(s) that make you wanna dance?

rubberneckin', im coming home, got a lot o' livin to do, polk salad annie, suspicious minds

favorite song elvis as covered?

any day now and yesterday

what's a modern song you wish you could hear elvis cover?

i think he'd eat up two ghosts or ever since new york by harry styles tbh.

do you prefer vinyl or cd?

vinyl!!! i actually don't own a single elvis cd, just vinyls(cassettes too!)

favorite album?

self titled and from elvis in memphis <3

favorite movie soundtrack?

king creole for SURE

favorite live performance?

the laughing version of are you lonesome tonight 😅 also welcome to my world from aloha from hawaii !!!

a live performance you wish you were present at?

aloha from hawaii 100% but also literally any of his vegas shows in '69 because that entire live album had me laughing my ass off LMAO

favorite jumpsuits?

THIS ONE.

favorite movie(s)?

king creole, loving you, live a little love a little, follow that dream and girl happy(mostly because elvis in a dress)

least favorite movie(s)?

stay away joe, kissin' cousins, and double trouble.

favorite costar?

michele carey <3 i luv bernice

favorite documentary?

that's the way it is

favorite interview?

i didn't even have to THINK about this one. i know this is a press conference but idk. same thing? anyway, june 9th 1972 new york hilton elvis i want you so bad !!!!!! it's iconic and i just love how he is with everyone 😭

favorite car?

idk after i first watched elvis (2022) i wanted a pink cadillac so LOL

do you collect merch? if so, what's the one thing you hold most dear to your heart?

i do!! i have his vinyls mostly. but my tcb necklace is my lucky charm at this point, i just wish i had gotten it in silver instead of gold 😅

do you think you'll be a fan of elvis for the rest of your life?

absolutely. ive had a lot of interests and have lost interest in a lot of things but this is so much more different. he truly is everything to me and i've never felt so connected with someone in my whole life. i really do adore him.

[arywizm]

Books read in December:

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern - But the world is strange and endings are not truly endings no matter how the stars might wish it so. || 4.5/5

Incredible. I just wish it was just a bit longer, a little more dense and intricate than it already is - it's a great pleasure to spend time in this world.

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee - "Just thinking about all that blood." I nearly shudder. "Doesn't it make you a bit squeamish?" "Ladies haven't the luxury of being squeamish about blood," she replies, and Percy and I go fantastically red in unison. || 3.5/5

cute

however it did take every last bit of my mental strength to refrain from judging this (literally) by its cover. just stop putting photos on ya covers and we will all be happier for it.

Prosper's Demon by K.J. Parker - It’s not something you tell people about, obviously. Not your parents, not your friends, not your dear old uncle or your favorite aunt: "I can see the devil in people. I can see the devil in you." || 3.75 /5

very cleverly written although it does turn a little bit Shyamalan-esque at the end

Dream Boy by Jim Grimsley - Nathan remembers, oddly, Preacher John Roberts leaning over the pulpit toward the congregation in puzzlement, in confusion at the notion of the Disciple John resting his head on Jesus’s chest. || 4,5/5

haunting, and you feel it long before you have any obvious reason to, it's brilliant in a way that I can't quite define - it has this dreamlike quality in that you don't quite understand the horror of it until you wake up.

Vicious by V. E. Schwab (reread) - He wanted to care, he wanted to care so badly, but there was this gap between what he felt and what he wanted to feel, a space where something important had been carved out. || 4.5/5

read this again because it's a lot of fun and I didn't want a history vademecum to be my last read of the year.

I don't have anything more to say about it other than that while I generally prefer reading in original if possible "what the fuck are you doing?" doesn't have quite as much impact as "co ty, do kurwy nędzy, wyprawiasz?"

Theatre:

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare ( dir. Piotr Cieplak) - Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

I feel like no production of this play will ever live up to my expectations after watching Simon Godwin's interpretation.

I also saw The Nutcracker in the Grand Theater for the first time in years and came to the conclusion that we really don't appreciate what a fever dream this ballet is.