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lightanddarknessdragonlord · 12 hours ago

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leave out all the rest

(if you don’t wanna read it on ao3 here it is!! obligatory tag @thedacoda for encouraging me to write more kaoru & just generally being the best brother i could ask for <3)

I don't really know what I expected. I'm used to this, aren’t I? I should be.

This is nothing new, not for me. But even still… I had hope in you. I placed my trust in you all, I knew it was a bad idea, and yet-!

All of you are leaving me behind.

You all knew. You knew about him and didn’t tell me?

(There’s nothing to tell.)

I suggested the idea of finding him, I MENTIONED it, because all of you are just too content to leave me out of everything, and what do I hear?!

“Kaoru?”

Don’t play dumb, Jaden, you know better than that.

“What are you saying, Kaoru?”

Alexis, don’t look at me like that. You’d do the same for Atticus.

“Listen to me, Kaoru, this isn’t a good idea.”

Atticus, don’t you dare pretend to care now!

“We’re all worried about you, sarge.”

Hassleberry, you don’t even know me well enough to care.

“This isn’t going to change anything, Yuna!”

Yeah, like you’d know anything about what it means to be a good younger brother, Syrus.

“What’s going through that thick skull of yours?”

Chazz… just… don’t.

It’s been hours now, and still, I can hear all of you, clear as day. Everything just ricochets in my brain, endlessly. All of you looked at me like I was out of my mind when I suggested it, and you tell me to calm down when I get rightfully angry?!

Shut up. Shut up, shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP! All of you love to play the morality card, all of you love to be oh so higher-than-thou!

(Jaden is trying to relate to your pain. Alexis understands what you’re going through. Atticus wants to protect you. Hassleberry wants you to be safe, and so does Syrus. Chazz doesn’t want to lose you again. You know this.)

(Are you sure they’re the ones acting holier-than-thou?)

None of you understand. I know he’s there. I can see Honest in the corner of my vision. It’s in my dreams, it’s begging me to find him. I know it.

(Do you?)

I bolt upright, my breathing erratic as my eyes scan around the room for the familiar flash of golden wings. The alarm clock by my bed reads a number I don't want to see, definitely past midnight. My eyes scan the dark room, sweeping across from the window to the doorway.

It’s nowhere to be seen.

(You’re imagining things, Kaoru.)

It’s not my first nightmare, and it won’t be my last. But this one feels so vivid, much more than any of my other dreams. I should wait until I’m calm in the morning, until I’m rational… I know I'm being unreasonable, and yet…

Akio is only a door away. It wouldn’t be the first time I've woken him up in the middle of the night. Yet… something is different tonight. There's an ache in my head that I don't think he can quell. I don’t know that I would want him to tell me any sweet lies so I can fall back asleep, anyways, not after the week I've had.

(You have a way of thinking the worst of everyone.)

I'm out of my bed before I can think any harder on it, my deck in hand and bobby pins in my pocket. I pause, however, when I feel one of the card spirits rousing. Light and Darkness Dragon… I'll keep you here in the room. You deserve to rest. I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do, Light, but I know you’ll learn to forgive me. Or, at least, I hope you will. If you’ll even remember you had a deck owner to begin with…

(Didn’t you say you’re tired of people abandoning you?)

The click of the dorm room behind me has me trembling, my blood roaring in my ears. I was once king of Ra Yellow, I’m an excellent duelist, I know I can think through stressful situations. I didn’t earn my place in Obelisk Blue with a pretty face and a boatload of money. I can stop, I can go back to bed, I can wait until the morning to talk about this with Akio. He wouldn’t lie to me, not like everyone else has…

…

Or maybe he just wants me to think that. The idea has me pushing off down the hallway, headed to the upper level of the dormitory.

It’s only me and my thoughts as I make my way up the stairs. I don’t like being without Light if I can help it, my hand itching over my deck. They’re usually here with me, talking me out of my bad decisions and anger-induced plans for revenge. But I know they would never agree with me on this, so I have to do this alone.

(Is that true, or are you scared to admit that you’re wrong?)

I stop in front of Atticus’ dorm, reaching to grab the pins from earlier. I learned how to lockpick at North. More skills meant people would have more respect for you when you defeated them in duels, especially if you can lend a hand to a duelist who’s stronger than you. Obelisk Blue’s security is good, I’ll admit, but I’ve dealt with worse. It’s not too annoying to pick, but it’s not easy when I’m still barely awake.

I step into the room, cautious of any loud noises I might make. I know that Atticus isn’t a very heavy sleeper, he’s mentioned it more than a few times to me. There’s a part of me that’s yelling at me to stop, likely Light’s influence on me. And yet, I tread on.

Atticus, you forced my hand. You remembered him, you remembered him before I could, and yet you didn’t say a word to me? You know damn well how much Alexis worried over you, and when I go through what she did, you want me to stay behind?!

All of you… Atticus, Alexis, Jaden, Hassleberry, Syrus, Chazz…

All of you are cowards. All of you are pathetic, insincere little COWARDS. When it came to Jaden's friend, we all ran headfirst into the Dark World to find him. But when it comes to my own damn BROTHER, it’s suddenly “oh, we can’t tell him,” or “it would break him,” or “it’s for the best if he doesn’t know.”

You’re all terrified to admit the truth, and that is that you all would give me up in a heartbeat if it meant keeping the peace.

(They did it for your peace of mind. Shouldn’t you be glad that they care?)

I find Atticus’ deck easily, quickly rifling through the cards. It’s hard to see in the dim lighting of the dorm, but one of them has an unnatural coldness to it that can’t be shaken off by a mere card spirit. I draw the card from the deck, replacing the flap and putting the box back. Atticus does not rouse.

(There’s a better way to do this.)

I spare him only one glance before I'm out of his room. My hands shake as I hold onto the card so tightly it might crease, barely able to restrain myself from slamming the door.

I can hear Darkness calling me. It dawns on me now that I have barely any idea of what I’m doing, waking up moment by moment to my reality. I’m working off of a hunch, and no sleep, too.

The flash of golden wings in front of me snaps me from my anxious stupor, and my anger rises to drown out my caution.

Honest’s image flashes in my peripherals, and I waste no time in chasing after it. I must look deranged, running down the hallways, but I couldn’t care less about what people might think. It’s too late for anyone to be roaming the halls this late, either.

I know the path to the abandoned dorm well, having visited it many times after Alexis stopped keeping such strict watch of the place. I had always felt a call to it, but never knew how to answer it… not until now, with this card in hand. I know Light and Darkness Dragon would be absolutely beside themself if they could see me right now, but… I have to do this. They know that.

(Will you take a moment to just think?)

Honest is easier to see now, less blurry at the edges. I can’t help but find it familiar, the way it looks at me and ushers me forward. Searching for memories involving the card feels like searching for a decent card in the well on the other side of the school, or trying to find a limpid crystal in a pool of perfectly clear water. I can hear it say something about how it’s nice to know I’m alright, and that it’s good I got its message.

(It’s nice to see you too, Honest.)

I pay it no mind.

Darkness is louder now, laughing, praising, shouting, anything to get me to use the card. Honest does not react, only urging me to follow as it phases through the broken doors. It seems I’m the only one Darkness is trying to convince.

“Just a second,” I murmur, “you’ll get what you want in just a second.” I don’t know which of the cards I’m talking to.

(You won’t even try to think this through?)

It’s kind of pathetic, how little effort there is to keep students out. It’s far too easy to slip under the ‘keep out’ sign, and the doors are hardly a barrier. Without a moon to shine tonight, it’s almost pitch black in the dormitory proper.

(That’s a sign that you should be back in your own dorm.)

“Starliege,” I whisper, drawing the card from my deck. The spirit responds by flying beside me with a trill, although it seems to quiet once it realizes where we are. It perches on my shoulder, warily glancing at the rest of the dorm. Even with the glow from the dragon, it’s still too dim… there’s a small radius of light from where the spirit is residing, but not much farther than my own feet.

(You’re better than this.)

“Starliege.” I'm not asking. It shuffles awkwardly on my shoulder, before its light grows and illuminates about half of the room we’re in. “Thank you,” I huff, backing away from the corner of a sinkhole I nearly fell into.

(It didn’t do anything to earn you being so rude.)

This place is in desperate need of some repairs, but that’s not my job. Cobwebs dangle from the ceiling, ruined paintings and photos on the walls being the only hint that students once lived here. The rooms look eerily similar to the Obelisk dorms, so the only striking difference is the door that leads down to the basement.

The stairs are precarious, dead wood railings having rotted away and leaving a stench in the air. Starliege shuffles again on my shoulder, trilling something that sounds like unease, but I press on. Honest keeps trying to get me to talk, but nothing leaves me.

(You used to care so much about what your dragons said. Light would never approve.)

Darkness is still attempting to coax me into using the card, dark tendrils of shadow wrapping around my wrist now. It stills when I reach the bottom of the stairs, frozen in time.

Just as I thought… This looks like his handiwork, alright.

(How do you know?)

This place has been cleared out, most of the rock carved out to create an indent in the floor. There are lines and divots everywhere, some kind of pattern I can’t decipher. I swear I’ve seen this before, though, in the same way I recognize Honest.

(Are you sure that you do?)

(shut up.)

There’s not a moment to lose. I have no reservations, hopping down the craggy rock and into the center of the floor. However, I'm still groggy from barely waking up, moreso falling into the crevasse. My landing isn’t perfect, my hand catching on a particularly sharp stone as I fall… Tch. I get back to my feet without much complaint.

Starliege wants to clean the wound, but I keep my hand away. It doesn’t need to be fretting over me when I'm about to make it wonder why it’s even here. It stays on my shoulder nonetheless, curling into my hair and hiding from the shadows that tower over us.

“Darkness.” I lift the card up to my eye level, shivering at the temperature drop in the room. Below me, the carved grooves in the floor seem to grow deeper, darker, almost as if they’re eagerly awaiting something to fill the thin canals. The tendrils stretch forward, Darkness emboldened by my attempt to command it. They wrap around my arm and around my shoulder, sinking beneath my skin, into my veins... there’s a laugh reverberating somewhere, either in my ears or in my skull.

With the sudden dip in temperature, it’s hard for me to look back. Honest is seemingly trying to call for me, but I can’t hear. Typical. It doesn’t seem like Darkness is keen on letting it interfere with our little meeting.

It’s freezing as the shadows encase my upper back, so cold that Starliege is forced to dart away and leave me in the darkness that overwhelms my vision, flying towards Honest. It trills out for me, a call I was once familiar with, one that used to make my heart race in the heat of a duel. I don't move.

I can’t hear anything but the beating of my heart, fear forcing me stock-still. There it is, the panic, the kind that makes you freeze and wonder if you’ll die. I’ve felt it enough to be familiar in the chaos. I swallow thickly as I try to find the words to speak, feeling frozen in place.

“No.” I am not here to be puppeteered or manipulated, not again. Darkness seems to sense my resolve, the shadows pooling by my ankles as they roll off my back. It’s still oppressively cold, but a little easier to breathe.

(Are you alright?)

Starliege does not fly back to me. That's alright. That will make things easier.

(This isn’t like you.)

(shut up.)

“Darkness, I know you’re here.”

My voice is raspy and hoarse from just being woken up, but it’s loud enough to echo in this cavern. “Take me to him.”

(You can barely fight against Darkness. Why do you-?)

(i said, shut up!)

(…)

(…that’s what i thought.)

Honest flickers in the corner of my vision, attempting to get my attention again. I pay it no mind.

“Why should I, duelist?”

The shadows dance across my vision, making me wonder if I’m really seeing anything at all. It’s the same whether I close my eyes or keep them open. The sting in my hand from the rapid drop in temperature doesn’t help.

“I know your secret, Darkness. I know you can be defeated, just like how Jaden defeated the Light.”

“My enemy’s weaknesses do not constitute my own.”

The shadows are growing bold again, reaching up my pant legs, wrapping around my calves-

“You wouldn’t be so afraid if I was lying.”

The shadows seem to stop twisting for a moment, seemingly ruminating over my words, then pull me down to my knees. I can’t maintain my balance, landing oddly on my elbows with a grunt. Honest tries to move closer, but I can’t see it.

“You know not of what forces you seek to rule, Yuna. Your predecessor knew, and for that, he lives happily. You, however-”

“You don’t know anything about what I want.”

Even Darkness thinks it knows what I want?! It’s sickening how much all of you try to know me, to know what I want, or what’s best for me. If I wasn’t seeing pitch-black darkness in front of me, I’d be seeing red.

Enraged, I find myself lashing out whatever way I can, my anger overwhelming my fear once more. My injured hand slams down into the floor, landing right on one of the sigils that line the floor. I can feel the sting from the earlier cut, no doubt bleeding and smearing into the crevice. The sigil lights up, soft white light flowing into the rifts between the symbols and illuminating them. This must be how he did it…

“Your goal is not the same as his. He rescinded all his bonds. You cling to them.”

Darkness seems to grow louder as the sigils light up, but I pay it no mind. It’s only a stepping stone to get me what I want.

All the air gets knocked from me within the next moment, my body trembling. The shiver that runs down my spine isn’t from the lack of warmth, however; it’s from a voice that calls out to me, oh so familiar…

“Yuna?”

“Kaoru?”

(Who is it that you hear?)

(didn’t i tell you to shut up?)

There's some kind of commotion behind me, Darkness’ hold on me wavering. The voices are so familiar… The roar that reverberates nearly makes me fall over, but I stay on the floor.

Light and Darkness Dragon… They probably woke Akio and brought him here to find me, but it doesn’t matter. He’s alive. Everything they tried to hide from me, the reason they’re so adamant on leaving me behind… He’s here.

(brother, it’s been so long!)

The dorm around me seems to glow brighter, Darkness’ hold seeming to slip away. I can see now, but I don’t attempt to turn back.

“It seems I underestimated you,” it says, but there’s no real change in the monotone quality of its voice. “Such a shame that I could not claim your Light and Darkness Dragon.”

Normally, a sleight against Light would have me in a frenzy. But as the dorm glows brighter, rivaling the light Starliege emitted, I feel oddly… indifferent.

Akio yells behind me, trying to rush forwards. Light joins him, with Honest and Starliege being the quickest.

I can feel them right behind me, how Light’s claws graze my back, how Honest tries to grab at my hand, how Starliege trills out for me once again—

(finally, i know why.)

(it’s so bright here, so cold, so… clear.)

“Kaoru? Is that you?”

It’s bright white. The skies are cloudless, the winds are harsh, and the snow(? Sand?) blinds me.

“Yusuke… I’m finally here.”

—————————————————————

A few students who stayed up past curfew noted seeing an odd light inside of the abandoned dorm, but nothing came of it. No one dared enter, either way, not after rumors of some kind of malevolent spirit haunting the place.

No one had spotted the duelists that ran in, nor the single one that exited, leaving with three new cards in hand. Odd, Akio didn’t run a dragon deck… so why was it that he had Starliege Seyfert, and Light and Darkness Dragon? Honest didn’t fit in his strategy, either…

“Young master, it’s late. We’re no good if we’re frazzled.”

Visas Starfrost’s voice cut through the quiet night, walking besides his duelist. His fuschia eyes narrowed as he watched Akio, the student mumbling under his breath.

“Light and Darkness Dragon… Starliege Seyfert… Honest…” Three cards, all so familiar, and yet, so new.

“Akio.” Visas insists once more, the card spirit reaching a hand out to stop his duelist’s rambling.

“Visas, what’s… why… where did…?” The student looked between his spirit partner and the three cards, the fatigue and lack of sleep catching up with him.

“We can think about this when we return to the dorm.” Visas urges, ushering Akio inside once more.

No one could seem to remember who had owned the other bed in Akio’s room, nor why he was so adamant on rooming alone. Visas, when pressed by the few people who could see the spirit, simply said that the young master preferred his solitude.

Atticus felt some kind of unease, but nothing that could not be soothed by Alexis. Hassleberry and Syrus continued their constant bickering, Chazz occasionally joining to distract himself from the odd feelings of emptiness that sometimes came and went. Jaden was focused on trying to cohabitate with Yubel, especially with supernatural incidents continuing to occur around the school.

As the days passed, the general unease seemed to overtake the students once more. Students would come into the infirmary reporting of nightmares, all different, but sharing one theme: telling them to go to the abandoned dorm’s basement. These rumors passed around, with nearly every student in Obelisk Blue experiencing some variation of it. (Everyone in Ra simply thought it was some kind of cognitive bias.) One student suffered the worst from these dreams, in fact, he said he had the worst experience of them all.

Visas would find Akio shaking in the middle of the night, the duelist trembling like a leaf. What seemed like a flash of golden wings accompanied it, but no other person had entered the dorm in some time.

“Young master? Is something the matter?” He asked, trying to comfort the student.

In response, Akio would simply look his card in the eye, dark brown meeting searing fuschia.

“…who’s Kaoru?”

#yugioh gx #ygo oc #yusuke fujiwara #kaoru yuna #akio raith #this is like 3.5k words btw. lol #mech swear’s he’s a writer #BROTHER TAG 💚💥‼️

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