#i don't really have time to figure this out rn i gotta leave in like. 5 minutes. but literally who are these people

[bowenoke]

i was gonna make a little guide on how to use just audacity to grab music (vs a cassette tape or a 2 way audio cord, bc of that one post) but I pulled up an old recording i havent sorted through yet and the very first song is something I've a) never heard before and b) cannot fucking find anywhere on the internet. the second song is equally as baffling. the file is named moremusictoaddtoplaylist.aup. i think i got a transmission from a bo in a different universe. i hope i accidentally sent them pebblebrain

[keeps-ache]

heyoo.. :3 do you still pick flowers to give your mother ?

[cyberm4n]

could you pls do lucifers' oldest daughter x adam, and lucifer disapproves of it and adam rubs it in his face and the reader is innocent and has no idea whats going in between them and is absolutely in love with adam, and smut and possibly daddy kink if possible??♡♡

combined these two cause they work together really well! im so glad i got adam requests cause i am in LOVE with his man rn

cw: daddy kink, smut, readers first time, reader doesn't know of the history between lucifer and adam and i don't explain how, mentions of past tense bad father lucifer, adam is a little shit, not proofread

adam with lucifers oldest daughter reader!

■ OKAY FOR STARTERS

■ if Adam is genuinely interested in a relationship with you, like it's not just to get at lucifer then he's the biggest softy

■ im a firm believer he is a sweetheart in private moments in a relationship

■ to everyone else he's a total jackass but when you two are alone?

■ he's so respectful and loving to you

■ but if you're innocent

■ this man has the biggest corruption kink in the fucking world and the fact he gets to have his way with the daughter of his "enemy" satisfies him more

■ but it does make him feel a bit warm when it becomes obvious just how in love you are with him

■ and anytime you tell your dad about your boyfriend he lights up! so happy his daughter has found someone :)

■ but shit goes down when he asks to finally meet him, he figures if his daughter is in love he should definitely know him

quick recess from that train of thought

■ adam! who's got you laid out on his bed, working his shirt off

■ adam! who hears your little murmur about being a virgin

■ adam! who is immediately rock fucking hard at the fact he gets to take that innocence from you

■ adam! who hovers over you, kissing your neck as he helps you out of your pants, his other hand tugging impatiently at your shirt

■ adam! who can't get over how fucking beautiful you are, all other motives thrown out the window, he just wants to make this good for you

■ adam! who growls when he works a finger into you, feeling how tight you are and hearing you whimper

■ "princess you gotta relax, gonna stretch you out. i know baby, i know. just let me make you feel good"

■ adam! who scissors his fingers in you, desperately trying to make this easier for you

■ adam! whose cock makes you tremble when you see it finally, he's big. i think he'd be above average, 7-8.5ish inches, girthy too.

■ "baby don't worry ill make it fit, daddy's gonna take care of you, okay?"

■ adam! who audibly groans after you don't even bat an eye at his slip up

■ ugh he'd be so sweet as he's guiding it in you, kissing your face, maybe even rubbing your clit to try and get you to relax

■ but just as he's about to bottom out hears a little "s'too much daddy" from you and he swears he could have cum right there

■ if this wasn't your first time he'd be pounding the shit out of you now

■ but he's gentle, at least at first

■ "okay sweetheart, i need more, can you do that?" he'd murmur, so sweet.

■ and then he fucking rails you

■ HEAVY BELIEVER he's gonna try and go atleast 2 rounds with you, maybe more

■ you're just too perfect he can't help it

ANYWAYS

■ so like, you're really oblvious to the beef between your dad and adam

■ like it's just never been expressed

■ plus lucifer doesn't have a great relationship with his kids!! so the fact you've even told him about your boyfriend makes him happy

■ so you go out for dinner! it's a classic! you have no idea why you're boyfriend is acting so weird!

■ what does NOT make lucifer happy is seeing you walk in with adam, his arm slung around your waist

■ he's in denial for a moment, standing from his spot as he meets you halfway

■ "dad, meet my boyfriend, adam!"

■ there's a beat of silence, and you're not sure why

■ but lucifer extends a hand "adam, it's so nice to meet you" he says through gritted teeth

■ tbh both are pretty quiet, only exchanging niceties until you leave for the bathroom

■ adam squeezes your hand as you stand up, watching you walk off.

■ then he turns back to face lucifer, a smug smirk plastered on his face

■ "you motherfucker" "well actually technically im a d—" "shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up"

■ lucifer genuinely has to convince himself not to fucking kill adam right here. reminding himself that his daughter is in love with him.

■ lucifer decides he doesn't have to like adam for him to support you

■ but adam is such a little shit, once you get back to the table he will not shut the fuck up

■ but you seem so happy, lucifer sees the way you look at adam. he sighs.

■ even when adam tugs at your collar a little "fixing it" supposedly but lucifer knows it's definitely just to flash that little love bite he left there

■ and to you it seems like your boyfriend and dad are getting along great! you're so happy

■ at the end of the night your dad pulls you aside, doing the whole dad talk thing.

■ "if he breaks your heart.."

■ but you hug him for the first time in a long time, and he decides he can tolerate this for as long as im happy.

■ your dad loves you, maybe not your boyfriend, but you.

■ and adam.. deep down knows there's a little bit more to his facade. he cares about you, how could he not? this started out as just a way to get under lucifers skin but he's found himself genuinely hoping your dad doesn't try to sour the relationship

■ so when you take his hand as you part ways with your dad he sighs in relief

■ you're all his, and he wouldn't want it any other way <3

taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

Could you possibly do head canons or a fanfic of Ghostface! Keigo(Hawks) x reader?

You have free creative control to what would happen and stuff like that (I just think the idea would be interesting) but you don’t have to do it if your not comfortable.

(Also I love your work)

Thank you so much!! (I"M BACK BITCHES FR THIS TIME! Also this is my very late Kinktober contribution because college is kicking my ass rn)

He would wait until a day you knew he wouldn’t be home.

“Kei, I promise, it’s alright."

Your boyfriend whined into the receiver. “Yeah, but we had plans tonight."

“And sitting in front of the tv with a bowl of candy and some Jordan Peele movies tomorrow night will be just as lovely.” You reply. “Besides, you gotta protect us from all the toilet-papering teens terrorizing the city tonight.”

“Hardy-har. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Love you.”

“I love you back.”

Preferably at a time when your other emotions were likely to overwhelm any idea of his plans.

Setting the phone down, you allowed your body to slouch into a sigh, one final act of disappointment that you didn’t want your boyfriend to see.

While one could argue that you were technically used to his fluctuating schedule, it still didn’t make it any less disheartening when he was called in last minute on holidays. Of course, you didn’t let him know that.

Then he'd play with you just a bit, letting your sense of anxiety spike just the slightest by leaving the overhead skylight ajar.

Had he really left it open?

“Dumbass,” you muttered with a grin, quickly standing up to grab a ladder.

A chill rattled through your spine as you climbed, fall wind blowing through your hair and poking goosebumps in your skin as you pulled the window closed, making sure to lock it before wandering into the kitchen for an after-dinner snack.

A bowl of cereal was always an easy solution, especially when it was accompanied by a spooky flick and a comfortable bar seat at the counter.

Your phone would ring at exactly midnight, a voice he knew you'd find familiar, yet still unable to place, would answer.

Unknown Number.

"Hello?"

"Hey there," the voice was masculine and deep, like the sound had been covered with a sheet of gravel before being released.

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"Oh, come on, don't you recognize me?"

"Uh, no. I think you might have the wrong number."

"No, I don't." Silence followed for a few moments, just enough for a touch of unease to stir in your gut. "What's your favorite scary movie?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You gotta have a favorite. I know you like them."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because you're watching one right now."

He also knew how well you liked horror films, how easily you would recognize the reference and think of the surprise call as a prank. Then he'd make sure to get your heart beating once more.

"I also know your boyfriend left the window open on his way out. That's dangerous, dontcha think? Leaving a pretty thing like you all alone with the door locked?"

"What do you want?" Fear shook your vocal cords, the question coming out in a ridiculously less forceful manner than you would've liked.

"You."

Being the over-protective boyfriend he was, you had been taught how to react to a situation like this beforehand. That just meant he had to move quickly, sliding a hand over your mouth to smother a scream and prying the phone from your fingers before you could even think of calling for help.

"Calm down, sweetheart." The masked figure tossed the voice changer away, black fabric tickling the rim of your ear. "I've got ya."

Keigo was thoughtful. He'd give you a moment of realization, and another to stop struggling, before forcefully turning you around and lifting you on top of the counter, one hand encasing both of your wrists and the other toying with the end of your sleep-shorts.

Eyes widening in shook, you took in the white mask in front of you. Lifeless black eyes and a horrifyingly exaggerated mouth, one that left the expression into one of pure terror for eternity. The dark fabric surrounding it just exaggerated that pristine look, one of perfectly untouched cartilage.

Still, despite its velvety presence, you recognized the hands poking out from the robe. Bronze skin kissed by years in the sun, interrupted by the lines of scars that you had spent countless nights running your fingers over.

The hands were warm, just as they always were, as they slid over your thighs, forcing them open before sliding underneath the bottom hem of your pajamas.

He would watch you try not to moan as he brushed his thumb over your clit, caressing gentle circles over it before pushing a finger inside. The soft whimper he earned made his cock jump.

"That's right, gorgeous." The masked figure slid another digit in, undoubtedly smirking as he felt you clench around him.

"I wanna hear you scream."

[rzyraffek]

Fallout4 characters with teen!sole

Bestie you are litteraly describing one of my oc's! Of course its purley platonic😊 teen!sole is also from valut and was in fidge for last 200years. I refer to them as 'kid' bcs thats how some of characters would probably treat them anyways. Also its a screenshot vuz I accidentally deleted the ask and luckily had some sort of proof

Maccready

The only guy here with any expirence with kids

Dad vibe

Type of guy who says "We need to cut it off" after Sole tells him their hand hurts

Will teach them how to shoot, hunt ect

Also scold them every time they talk with any shady people??? Like he really doesnt want them to end up like him with whole 'gunners incident'

He thinks that Sole would get along with Duncan well!

If Sole calls him 'dad' mans gotta be so happy

Deacon

Secretly worried about their saftey, like Commonwealth is dangerous place for trained adults, and for kids ESPECIALLY ones who have no knowlage about defence or weapons

But he never shows his worries, just hangs around being cool dude he is😎😎

Rich cousin/uncle vibe

You like this cool hat you saw like week ago? Boom see it apear inside your closed 2days later

His love language (quick remidner that love also can be platonic🙄😎) is giving them little gifts when they don't see him or leaving notes with remiders on them ^^

Quick reminder that he and his wife wanted to have kids! So yeah Sole makes him wonder if thats how it feels to have kids tbh

If Sole calls him 'dad' bro will freeze and panic, probably pretending that he thought that was a joke but he's sweating so hard rn

Hancock

Wtf a child? Here?

Bestie you really shouldn't be here

If Sole is in this cringy teen phase when they do drugs/cigarettes, watch him say stuff like "drugs=bad" meanwhile taking some mentats

Your friendly local drug dealer vibe

Dude gonna teach them how to manipulate assholes, trow knifes, gaslight and still look stylish

If Sole ever tells him about their parents he will be angry, like ??? Why would anyone do anything to a kid???

He will litteraly pay fahrenheit to watch them when he's busy

Preson

"Fire, pretty sky and a lot of storytelling in middle of nowhere" vibe

Im 100% sure he knows how to play on guitar and will try to teach them

He will try to act mature and lead them to the right path but he won't try to be their "new perent" unless Sole is clear that they see him as father figure, he will never even bring this up.

When they call him 'dad' mans will be the happiest minuteman in history. Also if kid will even mention their past caretakers he will just tell them to forget about them cuz they aren't coming back and they are never going to hurt Sole anymore

Gage

How on earth some kid killed Colter? No one knows but Gage is impressed.

He gets annoyed by lack of knowlage and skills, ye ye he gets that they are like 13 or something but come on hes not going to do anything for them. Huh what do you mean you are from valut? Before the war?? Damn kid and im happy to be alive. Stop lying

*sighs* "jesus boss let me do it"

Older brother vibes.

"How many times i have to tell you, dont hang out with pack members they have bad influence on you AND do not even think about going near Nisha"

He needs to learn ALOT he dumped his family and even if he had younger siblings he never really took care of anyone, never, so yeah it is challenging

If Sole somehow calls him 'dad' they were probably incredibly tired or something very emotional happened. No matter how it happend Gage will ignore it and later overthink when Sole wont be around, like ??? Me??? Gee what kind of parental figure this kid had?? Should I check on them more often??

Danse

Uhh erm a child ee greeting?

Akward

At first he sees Sole as lil civilan and just tells them where to find nearest safe place/diamond city cuz hes very very busy and cant take care of child while on duty. If kid hangs around more he will probably warm up

Of course he will ask about their parents but when Sole tells him some upsetting stuff he won't ask again, he won't tell them to go home either. He will just idk let them vibe

I can imagine Sole just tagging along his missions by just begging him to hang out with them constantly. They quickly get along. Very lonley soldier and kid who lost everyone.

One of those 'depressed dude adopts random child he found in middle of knowhere' prompt

When Sole calls him 'dad' he gonna get emotional fr fr pls civilan he's on duty he cant cry rn 😭

Yall I loved writting for gage i might do part 2 with Gage just trying to figure out how kids work. Also another pole cuz I still have no clue how to delete those on phone. And as always, I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience 🦊

[coldarena]

Hi hello I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you with the touch starved Eddie thingie but uni said no rpf for a bit 💔 Anyway now is my time 😌

Just thinking thoughts about Eddie who's been in the army for a good 7 years, who's used to that environment of 'manly men' who only touch each other in the occasional rough housing or hand to hand training, who certainly don't hug each other and so the only 'soft' touches he get being when he gets to go home for a few days when he has leave but those are far and few between 🥹 but Eddie is a Man so he barely even realizes that he misses physical touch itself, merely thinks of it as an extension of missing his family, i.e. missing when his ma brushes his curls off his forehead when he's sick in his bunk

And then, comes Andy Haldane, football captain who's used to reaching out and touch (wasn't there a study somewhere that team sports are actual great for positive masculinity because teammates often display emotions with each other and hug and stuff often? Anyway THAT), but more than that, who doesn't know how not to because that's what he's been doing his whole life. So he doesn't think twice about patting Eddie on the shoulder but he does think a lot about how Eddie tensed when he did that, so he's trying to be careful, to reach out for Eddie less because he understands that some people may not like it but it's so HARD because 99% of the time his hand is already so close to Eddie's shoulder when he realizes what he's doing, changing directions would be ridiculous (he does it anyway because he doesn't want to make Eddie uncomfortable)

Meanwhile Eddie is having a Crisis, slowly realizing that 1. He doesn't mind Andy's touch and 2. He craves it so bad now that he got a taste of it 😭 Trying to reconcile that craving physical touch that isn't play fight doesn't make him any less of a Man or anything 🥹 Growing sooo frustrated after the umpteenth time Andy changes direction at the last moment when Eddie KNEW he was going to reach for him, trying to give Andy hints that yeah, this is good, like slowly (and often unconsciously) leaning into Andy's side/touch hoping he'll get the hint 🥹 (Andy's losing sleep trying to figure out what it means)

Add to that a very unhealthy dose of pining and yeah. Who's writing that fic/making that fanart pls, I need it to live

And then!!! When they finally get together and solve this, and Andy cannot for the life of him keep his hands to his side when Eddie is *right there* 😭 Something about how every time he pats Eddie's shoulder in the show, his hand drags down to nearly Eddie's elbow when he pulls away like he has to visibly force himself to go away because he knows that any time he stops touching Eddie might have been the last time he ever touches him </3 needing that sweet reassurance that Eddie is warm and his shoulders move as he breathes because Eddie is all Andy's got and vice versa 🫠 Also because this, the physical touch, is all they've got in front of their men, because Andy can't kiss Eddie when he gives him a new helmet in a "pls be careful", can't hug him and kiss his temple to comfort him when he comes back to k/3/5 to find Eddie so distraught

ANYWAY... yeah, thinking lots of thoughts about them <3 so sorry for the huge paragraph tho 😭❤️

i think they should cuddle in a foxhole

eddie who's been in the marines and hasn't had the close physical contact of his family, and then losing his first marine buddies to the war + getting shuffled around from company to company so he doesn't really know anyone and misses out on physical touch until ack ack arrives makes me fucking violently unwell category five insane bitch moment being had rn. also yeah ack ack is SO touchy like ??? its defo the football. i know k co is having football huddles. ik ack ack is randomly giving out shoulder rubs becoz he did as football captain and coach for the muscle tension hes gotta help his boys! ik hes a MENACE trying to light eddies cigarettes or jokingly tuck eddies shirt back in becoz 'he's never out of regulation!'. Honestly K co probs see him walking with his arm around some officer's shoulders or his pal Ev like yeah thats our CO hes a football star and we love him. he is constantly patting hilb's shoulder or arm in the show it makes me fucking sick there was no need for any of that, eddies sad wet poncho scene and ack ack goes back for another pat before he leaves is in my manifesto. hanks i hope u know what ur responsible for!! lt ack ack patting this random 1st sgt out of habit and he flinches but then it becomes smth they both need when eddie becomes an lt and joins k co and they're disgustingly pining for each other.... eddie fully not knowing how to react to ack ack throwing an arm around his shoulder or slapping his back to say hello... (sidenote: eddie knowing ack ack is super friendly and nice to everyone and really wishing he was special and it meant more. gonna be ill call me in two days) Terrible if they wake up kinda entangled in their foxholes occasionally with ack acks arm around him and eddie is all... lemme just scooch over a bit more while ur still asleep xx ack ack is not asleep and also panicking becoz eddie is running his fingers over the scars on his forearms. sick. smth about their nonverbal touch and body language and being able to read each other is sooo important to them. eddie trying to reciprocate ack acks touch but hes just awkward and strange about it. there is literally so much about it. you could fill 300k words with it and it would not be enough. also them play fighting becoz ik ack ack can tackle. wheres the fic!!!!!!!!!

[eggsaladsandwhic]

Vash Headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

Follow my previous posts about the Poly Knives x OC x Vash CollegeAU fic I'm doing so here's some ideas I gotta dump.

SFW/General

Ecology Major vibes, is also getting an Ethics minor

Hates chemistry with a burning passion

Makes a lot of friends, but only hangs out with a few so he doesn't overwhelm himself

Nurodivergent Vash!

(He/They)! Or (They/them) either works

Doing a stem degree while having ADHD and anxiety sucks so much but Vash thrives in it somehow

College has really been flaring up his plant traits lately, has to call Rem or talk to Nai on the weekly for help (Though Nai just keeps telling him to stop repressing it)

Has to wear long sleeves or hoodie a lot to cover up the feathering leaves that pop out.

Vash doesn't realize it but it's anxiety that's causing it, but Nai started lending him some compression shirts and so it's gotten better

BUFF DADBOD VASH (this idea possess me)

He's gotten better with dealing with stress and no longer resorts to starving himself

GOES TO THERAPY(one of these twins gotta do it)

Between Nai's cooking, drinking on the weekends, and the amount of donuts this dude can eat he's living his best life

Works out when he gets the time and bowls competitively

Wants a significant other (Mates for life) but it's so hard, especially when starts thinking about the fact he's not human

Has a fear of having someone he really loves and then them finding out he's a plant and reacting negatively. Vash thinks Nai and him would likely have to move back to the facility with Rem. He doesn't want to uproot the lifestyle him and his brother have

Gets a little depressed about it, but is really good with having a support group on standby

Gets hit on at bars a lot but it always flys over his head or they're too pushy about it.

Wolfwood sets him up with dates once in a blue moon but it goes horrible or the girls just don't like him for more than his looks

Physical touch is this man's love language and he just wants someone he can lean on

Add someone who likes doing domestic activities?? Y'all are going to the courthouse next week

Wants to just curl up next to someone even platonically at this point

Has an agreement with Nai sometimes that they sleep in the same bed like when they were kids (Nai always grumbles about it but sleeps better that night anyway)

Nsfw Below 👇

OH SHIT OH FUCK

(NSFW)

So I did some research today and did y'all know that wild purple geraniums have a tendency to be Hermaphrodites

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Vash is a dual package (living the dream ong)

Plantussy and Plantdick combo meal

So I imagine that his dick would sit above his vulva and vagina? Testes would likely be internal (genuinely trying to form an anatomy basis I'm actually looking at a diagram rn)

As for his female organs I'd say he consented to a hysterectomy because it was causing growth issues (post op sucked but he figured it out)

Took testosterone for awhile until everything was functional

Became a lot more sexually comfortable with himself after this

6.5in prehensile tentacle dick, bumpy rounded ridges on the sides and little more on the girthy end

Has more of those downy soft petals that unfold during sex, and dick likely has a sheath because it's more fleshy (kinda like the inside of your mouth)

Hyperspremia and leaves a mess everytime he jerks off, squirts a lot too (probably got a dedicated bath towel at this point)

He has fucked himself with his own dick and usually prefers to

Owns quite a few sex toys and likes to experiment around a little bit

Goes from a Fleshlight, a regular dildo, has a couple fantasy ones, and anal and prostate toys

High sex drive, but can cum pretty quick (short recovery period, usually goes 3 rounds but can do more)

Rut is 10x worse too you'd be lucky to make it to the fridge

Makes sperm plugs during rut

SWITCH VASH(still a virgin though)

Desperate sex kinda guy, gets pussy drunk or cock dumb so easily, folds like a chair no matter what

Make him unfurl his wings out it means he trusts you so much

Please go down on him and absolutely devour him

Very sweet though and would definitely check in a lot (check in with him too it makes him feel fuzzy)

Has a sex awareness to not hurting you accidentally, during rut he's very nervous about it

Aftercare King (loves to shower or take a bath after)

More of a hickey giver than a biter

Usual kinks: Breeding, Pegging, Overstimulation, Cum play, cockwarming, Oral, Praise, Hair-pulling

Unusual: Blindfolding, Shibari(both ways around), Begging, wants to be degraded a little bit

Jesus my brain went wild there, I was doing research for some of this shit. Was supposed to be doing Geochemistry homework but this happened ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Anyways gn y'all I got a 9am.

[yuesya]

First off, loving ZotS rn (it’s one of five fics I actually set email reminders for updates), so thank you for the great work!

Second off, with the upcoming festival ‘arc’, I was wondering how Maki is going to be playing in this fic and how her interaction with Shiki will go. So far, the only interaction we’ve seen her and Mai have with Shiki was the last festival where she basically put Naoya in his place and after re-reading it, I can’t help but imagine the kind of impact that kind of thing could have on her (a strong woman who is not only willing to defy a major clan but has the ability to back it up). Since we don’t really have any knowledge of her past between “leaving” the zen’in clan and joining jujutsu tech, a part of me hopes Maki seeks out Shiki this festival and pulls a korra-esque reverse-Luffy (“I’m joining your crew and you’ve gotta deal with it”). Plus, with how much both of their combat styles focus on cursed tools and shiki’s willingness (if poor ability in communicating it) to teach, I can imagine Maki seeing her as a mentor figure (at least more than Satoru, but that honestly isn’t that hard).

On Shiki’s side, though, I’m curious how she will regard Maki’s abilities with her HR. On the one hand, even if she’s not been told the full story on Toji, the fact that she not only “fought” him but also nearly got killed doing so should make her one of her biggest supporters since she knows not to underestimate someone with those abilities. At the same time, I’m kinda worried Shiki’s going to mess it all up like she did with Aikawa by saying something that could be interpreted as diminutive like “why be a sorcerer, I can barely sense your cursed energy?”.

Anyway, sorry about the rambling, I just really love your story and wanted to take my opportunity to ask a question that’s been on my mind for a while.

Thanks for reading and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Maki and Mai haven't been part of the active storyline aside from that one appearance during the first Obon. There are certain similarities between Maki and Shiki, such as their love for sharp, pointy objects...

Going to be keeping quiet for now because we'll be getting to the Zenin twins in the future. Assuming I don't make any last-minute changes, there are plans for them making an appearance during the upcoming festival. :)

[sickofthistoxicshit]

I have to say that if one is going to create a certain ship, at long last, the emergency of the opening season shouldn't be of Athena.

Athena and Bobby have done their share of bonding.

And even though Buck and Eddie have been closer than ever, the clown couple (derogatory) of showrunners have ruined all progress, one by a certain death doula that "saw Buck" 🤦‍♀️ for an episode and a half and a shotgun relationship created with little sister insignificant Marisol. And the other by Buck literally road killing Eddie to gain "T's attention" (calling bullshit) never apologizing and then have him caught up in himself (what else is new) for the rest of the season. All the while shoving Eddie away from himself and his now not new friend or friend at all, Buck has all the attention now and tbh not sure that toxic crap is the attention I would want, but Buck’s messed up childhood dictates that bad attention is still attention so why not.

Don't even get me started on TM literally burning Eddie’s so called relationship with a TVD doppelganger crap, that is so far fetched and not who Eddie is that my hands are still itching to bitch-slap Tim for ruining Eddie in the name of "the plot" and regressing him mentally to fucked up S3-4 state of mind. Hate him! (TM, never Eddie)

So really the emergency again being an Athena brand, also fucking far fetched because SHE IS A POLICE SARGENT- SHE WORKS THE STREETS!

She in NOT a US Marshall,

She is NOT a detective,

She is not a US Marshall working on manhunt,

She is not any kind of fed, and she is not SWAT but still was brought in to figure out the sniper MO somehow.

I am so confused.

This show is very copaganda and it's driving me crazy, because the mains are supposed to be firefighters with a side of cop wife and dispatch wife not the other way around.

But seriously, after Christopher leaving and with Buck still visiting toxic lane, now would have been the best time to get Eddie into his wild and reckless side and make everyone worry about him and bring him and Buck closer together.

Buck choosing Eddie, showing him, he's enough. Nudging him towards his own realization, making him fight his instincts to self destruction after his drama queen son left him for his toxic parents.

I am sensing a pattern here. Gotta say no parents deserved even the smallest redemption arcs they received in S6 if this was the natural progression.

Not having much hopes of the next season being at all attractive storytelling wise.

Hopefully, buddie, at least, can get their heads out of their asses long enough to get together.

Though, and this is the most controversial remark I will ever make here (and God knows I made a lot) I don't feel like Buck deserves him rn. I really want better for Eddie, I want him to finally be settled and happy and focusing on enjoying life and on his job.

Maybe start studying for the lieutenants exam and move up the ladder in the LAFD.

Don't you guys find it weird that they are all stuck in some limbo, where no one wants to move higher. And the only time they actually received a commendation was not for daring saves during a tsunami, not for a daring save during earthquake or the dam explosion, not for pulling Eddie from snipers fire and so on.

What they got a commendation for was for just showing up, barely doing any saving with their toy chopper, God knows what they planned to do with it and barely any equipment.

I guess showing up is half the part in 911?

A participation trophy if I ever saw one 🤦‍♀️

That was so lame and kinda dumb.

Anyway, I digress, this turned into a longer post than I meant to, and I kinda went off on a tangent.

Bottom line is, that I cannot believe that Athena is on that plane, in the opening long-ass season disaster, again.

[fandoomrants]

Sooo, just a small comment on some of the things I loved in the finale of PJO.

There are obviously gonna be spoilers here soo...

-The fight between Percy and Ares!!! I loved the wave and now it was a subtle way of showing Poseidon was indeed beside him.

-The scenes between Percy and Luke!!! "Look, you didn't want to be a half-blood...". I loved the addition of these flashbacks of Luke teaching Percy to fight.

-Olympus! Omg, it was so pretty!!!

-Percy immediately being a total little shit with Zeus, I loved that!

-Poseidon showing up to protect Percy!

-Percy understanding only the word for "father" in Ancient Greek. He knows it because of Sally!

-"Ares is a moron."

-Overall the whole exchange between Percy and Poseidon. It really is a big step from him being all bitter and it was a bit corny but I liked it still.

-When Percy reveals Luke is the Lightning thief!

-Luke not fighting Percy at first. I have thoughts about the whole thing but I'll put them later on.

-Luke snapping for a moment and attacking Percy only after he mentions his father.

-Annabeth and her dagger!

-"Wait, your name is Percy!" And later "I don't think so", This was sooo hilarious. Especially when you think about how he initially tried to lie to him he's his dad. I'm pretty sure Dionysus knows his and everyone's name very well, he just likes being a jerk.

-"Some place called Disneyland", tbh, I feel like Annabeth won't be thrilled. I certainly wasn't and I was still am pretty childish as a kid.

-Grover's license!

-Their pact! That was so cute!

-"What did you dream of?" "Grandpa.". For a moment there I was like "What!? Are they tring to make it look like it was all a dream or that they're trying to make it as if Sally doesn't remember!?" but a moment later I was like "Nope, that's Percy Jackson, of course he'd refer to Kronos as his grandpa even tho he's his biggest enemy rn"

-Blue pancakes!

-When Percy and Sally were leaving the apartment, Percy's last narrative and the rain outside!

-The devastating moment when I thought we're not seeing Gabe turned into a statue but juuuust in case skipping the credits (call it a feeling or sth) and...

-GABE TURNING INTO A STATUE!!!! I'm honestly so happy! I'm not even mad Sally didn't do it as it was implied in the books. But she was divorcing him! I know he wasn't portrayed as bad as he was in the books in the TV show but I still believe he was emotionally abusing and he was still a jerk even tho it was toned down. Also, he was such an annoying, whiny bit-$(#..

...

That's all I can think of rn, even tho I believe there were other things too.

Now, I gotta admit I've read the book a looong time ago so I don't remember everything in great details but I noticed lots of the changes in the episode and throughout the whole season. I still enjoyed the show a lot, tho. Most of the changes made sense and like... Come on, it's an adaptation! And Rick Riordan was involved in the process so I believe he knew what he was doing with all these changes.

Tbh, I liked the first two episodes a lot, then idk, the third, maybe fourth too, were a tiiny bit meh to me but overall, I loved it and loved the last couple of episodes! I have mixed feelings for some things like them knowing about Medusa, the Lotus casino and other stuff but again, I trusted the process and it worked! It's only 8 episodes and there was a lot to happen there so I can see why these changes were needed. Figuring all out would have taken them a lot of time. Also, it was as much for new fans as it was for new ones so of course some things had to be made differently. For example, how the whole thing about who would betray Percy was done.

I've been watching lots of videos and posts of new fans who haven't read the books and I was cackling like an old hag at their assumptions how it was gonna be Grover or sth. And you just can't convince me that episode 7 and Annabeth getting caught by one of the roots wasn't with the exact purpose of making people think "Oh, they are friends now, what if it's her?" It was really well-played. And let's not forget how everyone was like "Luke! Babyboy, so precious." Can't wait to see everyone's reactions now... (Luke is still these things, even though he is "bad guy")

Speaking of Luke, again, haven't read the books in a while but I somewhat don't remember him and Percy being that close and being such good buddies. Idk, might need to read them again but even though I didn't mind that dynamic too much, I really thought this is more like how Luke and Annabeth should have been. I feel like we needed more interactions between them. Also, Luke speaks randomly about her twice, first telling Percy about her and calling her "my little sister" and then last episode giving that example with the spiders (nopee, I don't believe itt, she won't crush it, she'll scream and run unless it's a huge spider, then she'll fight it because of her bf) but she barely (if not ever) mentioned him? Yeah, she mentioned Thalia but almost nothing of Luke?? How are you gonna convince me that was her hero!? She should have been broken by his betrayal much more than Percy! Also, they kinda made Luke somewhat of a big softie, I thought it was because then his betrayal would have been more devastating but nope, there wasn't some kind of a 180° turn in his behaviour. Wonder why, to make him more relatable or? I want to see how his further actions are going to play out in this scenario...

Anywayy, all in all, I enjoyed the show a lot and I hope there is a next season. I want to see how the story will proceed on the screen (and I hope the changes we keep getting aren't anything too essential).

[archangeldyke-all]

hi, Angel!! Firstly, I wanted to apologize. I'm still learning English, so you know, if anything gets confusing.

I guess I just wanted some advice. In February, I turn 19 and I'm a total failure: no job, no money for college, no girlfriend. I've been having the idea in my head of begging to work in a pizzeria where practically my entire family works, so I can buy my things little by little and rent some small, cheap place for myself, because I can't stand the situation at my mother house anymore.

I talked to my mother, explained the situation and she supported me. But today, when I was talking to the owner of the pizzeria to hand in my resume, my mother suddenly started saying that she wanted me to learn a lesson, working in a bad place and getting by with college, courses and work. And, to make matters worse, she and the owner started talking bad about me IN FRONT OF ME, calling me a bum for not having gotten into a good college yet. I left earlier than her and I was holding back crying the entire bus ride. I feel so betrayed, I lost all trust. I don't know if I can handle the pressure anymore and I feel so useless. But I really want to leave the house. I don't know what to do and was hoping you could give me some advice perhaps? I'm really lost

hi babe <3333 i am so so sorry you're in a rough spot right now.

i'm going to give you advice based on my similar experiences, but please please please, only do what you think feels right depending on your situation and safety levels!

first of all: you're soooo not alone. i have so many friends (in real life and online) who are in the same spot-- and i'm in a similar situation myself! here are a few things i remind myself of when i start to spiral:

1. our age range (young adults) has been incredibly stunted socially from covid. generations before us didn't have to stay inside of their houses for some of the most socially developmental years of their lives. it's no wonder we're a little more lost and lonely.

2. nineteen is still so young. i'm twenty three, and i'm still so young. you've got all the time in the world to figure out important things, like what you want to study or where you want your career to go.

3. a career doesn't have to be anything more than what you do to feed yourself. you don't have to be passionate about your work, you don't have to change the world, and, best of all, you don't need to do what other people want you to do.

so, to you, i'll say this: at least if you're in america, college is an expensive investment-- and it isn't your only option. if you don't know what you want to study-- that's totally okay! you're so young, you've experienced so little, it's incredibly ridiculous to expect teenagers to determine their life path. so, i say, wait to go to college until you know what you want to study. it'll save you a whole lot of stress and money. (there are alternative paths too: most trades only have you in school for 2 years, there are licences you can get in 3 months that lead to union jobs, i, personally, have been taking online certification courses to beef up my resume... college is not your only option!)

until then: don't let your shitty mom and her asshole friends at the pizzeria stop your search! the economy is shit right now, i know how expensive rent is (trust me, i'm trying to move out of my parents house rn too haha) but the good thing is: almost everyone's hiring. so i say, get a job somewhere else, save some money, and hopefully soon the tides will turn and the economy will change, and both you and i will be able to find a place of our own!

and last but not least: your mom is so so wrong. it's so cruel of her to humiliate and demean you like that, and you do not deserve that treatment. i'm so sorry you're in an environment like that right now, and i want you to know that you aren't alone, and someday, you will get out of there. you just gotta keep chugging along until then. and i'll be rooting for you the entire time!!

i hope this helped love <3 don't be too hard on yourself

[sevicia]

Writer Guy's only "friend" who sucks majorly. Notes under da cut. Heart.

Firstly ☝️ he's heavily inspired by the experience of having someone follow you around even after you have told them very explicitly to stop doing so. Writer Guy will look him dead in the eye and say "I don't care about anything you have to say. Leave me alone, you annoy the shit outta me", and he'll just go "Bro you're always so funny LOL I'm probably the only one that gets ur sense of humor. Anyways, about my new podcast idea..."

This guy's deal is that he's obsessed with others' perception of him. He's an aspiring influencer and can't decide between being a youtuber, a streamer, or having a podcast. He's into crypto and defends NFTs like it's his job.

He met Writer Guy in college and has stuck to him like a leech ever since, even though they only had a few classes together. His reasoning was that Writer Guy seemed like the lone-wolf type and thus would attract attention with his ~mysterious~ charm, when in reality he was so boring that no one really paid him any mind. If you ask any of their ex-classmates, you'll find that no one really remembers either of them.

He spends a lot of time in r/shortguys and gets frustrated that he can't relate to the whole "women only ever pay attention to tall guys and we manlets are all martyrs" thing cause he's never even tried to get with a girl (he will lie about this). He's gay as hell but in almost complete denial. Genuinely believes stuff like "it's not gay with the socks on".

Unserious images that remind me of him:

I also gotta mention that his role in Mary and Writer Guy's story is very, very minimal, and that he never actually meets Mary. His story is a typical yaoi one where he falls in love with some guy and has one of those cliché "I'm not gay... why do I feel like this towards another man ?!?!!" moments. I chose to do it this way cuz I think it's funny as fuck to have him experience a romcom type thing while Writer Guy is basically Spongebob in the Silent Hill corridor.

I admit I'm not 100% sold on his hair, but it's brown for sure. Why? It just makes sense.

Some design notes including the other two:

Writer Guy is generally apathetic and would be considered boring at a surface level by 99,9% of the population. He teaches philosophy (ethics, specifically) at the college Mary attends, though they weren't aware of each other before The Events. His lectures are notoriously boring and many of his students sleep thru class or just skip them completely, but he passes them all anyways.

He's a writer in his spare time and writes trashy extreme horror on his (anonymous) blog, which is how Mary becomes aware of him. Stuff happens, his superiors (who are at best ambivalent towards him) find out about his hobby, he gets fired and doesn't care enough to defend himself or to raise any concerns about the school's attitude towards its teachers' private lives.

I also forgot to include his "On" design in the above pic, so here, a comparison:

I'm very obviously still figuring out how to draw him, but the drawing on the right is what he looks like at work. Just plain dorky and someone you would not look twice at.

I would also talk about his relationship with Mary, but for that I'd need to talk about Mary first, which I can't do rn cuz this post is already long enough and it's nearing 3 AM and she makes me absolutely BONKERS insane to the point I barely even know where to start when I wanna talk about her.

She's the only OC I have ever made a playlist for. I wish she was someone else's character so I could look at her without having to do the work myself.

A little fun fact about her is she used to dye her hair black before The Events. All I got for you rn.

OK that's all from me. For neoww...... Muah!

[olliegolliegee]

1. ideal date location?

2. favorite mlm song?

3. what makes you feel loved?

4. are you single or taken?

5. how many crushes have you had?

6. what's your type?

7. do you develop crushes quickly?

8. best show or movie for a date night at home?

9. what are your favorite flowers?

10. what would you give as a gift on an anniversary?

11. what's your favorite album?

12. what's your love language?

13. what are some pet names that make you blush?

14. do you read fanfiction?

15. any fictional crushes?

16. loud boys or quiet boys?

17. any characters you headcanon as mlm?

18. what's your comfort food?

19. last song you listened to?

20. best compliment you ever received?

21. kiss on the lips, cheek or forehead?

22. scalp massage or back massage?

23. any celebrity crushes?

24. what's your guilty pleasure?

25. do you like PDA?

26. how do you prefer to be comforted?

27. favorite way to express affection?

28. big spoon or little spoon?

29. fav love language?

this one spot on a trail in my area. a bunch of rocks on an cliffy thing next to the trail. that sounds perfect. laying down or sitting on or hopping across the rocks, under the open sky, hiking up and down and putting flowers in your hair

not sure if it's aaaaaactually an mlm song but "good old fashioned lover boy" by queen. my goofy answer is "lookin good" by dixon dallas

being sought out. that's how i feel i know that i'm actually valued

single

idk man i don't count

i don't even know if i have one. i always end up crushing on friends tho

really depends. sometimes it's an "OH SHIT THEY'RE REALLY COOL UHM wait shit this is a crush" and sometimes it's a really, really slow realization with a hell of a lot of denial

something fun that we both love. OOH maybe princess bride!! quote at each other, smile, laugh

any and all flowers are amazing. i will also take a bouquet of random branches and leaves and shit (honestly that's better)

something small that's really something they'd like. searching the local little antique store for cute little things would be pretty great. also deeeeefinitely a cheesy date night

ARGHHHHH uhhhhhm i've gotta say, stadium arcadium by red hot chili peppers has a really special place in my heart

quality time and physical touch, i think

god, i really don't know yet. gonna have to find out

yeah. im on tumblr ofc i do

luka couffaine. AAAAAAAAA HE'S SO SWEET. a relationship with him would be the absolute healthiest relationship ever and i am HERE FOR IT. and he wants to be a luthier. MY STRINGY LITTLE HEART IS SCREEECHING RN

both are great, but usually loud boys. like damn, ask for what you need. make them goofy ass comments with me. YELL WITH ME

saying this because a new kotlc book came out but. cmon bro ravioli is canon. alvar is the gayest. also entirely ship fedex (we got the best ship names)

annie's mac n cheese

gonna guess "ophelia" by the lumineers? don't remember what songs were playing on the radio or in the cvs

having someone who i thought didn't like me send me a card in residential saying she thought i was really cool and wanted to be friends with me. she even printed out and sent pictures of goat statues she found and thought of me. for my birthday she gave me a trip to house of bagels, which is where we had our first real conversation. all the little things she do make me feel so valued, she's amazing and thoughtful. still gotta figure out how to actually text her, my computer's acting up

lips :)

BOTH PLEASE

i mean. does stravinsky count. THE FUCKING SWEETEST DUDE WITH THE BEST MUSIC

watching american housewife. it's like one of those shitty tv shows but it's actually really good. it's awesome. dude why is it so good it makes me smile and it has a happy loving marriage it nearly makes me wanna cry

some. hand holding, arm around shoulders, all of that is amazing. kind of uncomfortable with anything long and overly intimate. most i'd be comfortable with is a quick kiss towards the sides of wherever we are

cuddled.

saying happy, sappy, genuine things and seeing them starting to actually believe what i say

both. either. both

physical touch and quality time

[kiasnocturnality]

DECORATING A CHRISTMAS TREE WITH YOUR OCS PLEASE

I NEED A BIG BIG FEAST WITH THEM

✩⋆ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: Alois Leblanc, Takeshi, Nasana, Desdemona Nausikáa, Aphaeleon, Va'ariniel, Taruqu'inel, Khione

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: my requests are actually closed rn but I'll make an exception as a little Christmas present for everyone hehe. Also this could have been out like 5 hours ago but I got caught up in playing Genshin lol - gotta farm those materials u know

. * ⋆ . · 　. ALOIS LEBLANC

✭ Alois takes decorating the tree very seriously. He's the type that needs to have everything in a matching colour scheme and all the ornaments in the right place. He will transform into his flock of bats to reach the really high up places or, to make sure you don't feel left out at all, he'll carry you while he floats up so you can reach this totally isn't an excuse to hold you or anything.

✭ However, once he gets this plan across, it becomes a group effort for the whole estate to decorate the manor together and it's often a really fun day with everyone getting the day off their duties to just decorate and then cook together. The tree in the foyer is huge. Everyone at the Leblanc Estate looks forward to Christmas for this reason.

. * ⋆ . · 　. NASANA

✭ Doesn't really do Christmas. But he's happy enough to decorate the place with you and he certainly won't turn down a big, warm meal in this cold season. I think he enjoys the cooking part more than the decorating. Nasana has a truly feral diet before you came along and he's come to really enjoy cooking, especially your cooking or just doing it as a quality time activity with you.

✭ This naga will be all wrapped up in a jumper and blankets with the fireplace roaring as the two of you go about the place and decorate with ornaments and garlands. He comes to quite like all the shiny stuff everywhere.

. * ⋆ . · 　. TAKESHI

✭ Takeshi celebrates Christmas for the fun of it - he likes decorating and giving/receiving gifts. Also, it creates the perfect opportunity for him to pull tricks when everyone around him is only expecting kindness. Expect a few gag gifts or pranks.

✭ He really likes the ambience that the lights create and you can find him in his fox form napping under the tree and all its twinkling lights in the holiday season. Takeshi strikes me as the type to leave up the neutral-coloured lights around the place for the rest of the year even after all the other decorations are taken down because he really likes it.

. * ⋆ . · 　. DESDEMONA NAUSIKÁA

✭ Desdemona loves Christmas! I’ve mentioned before that one of her interests is old movies and she’d just love a chance to decorate the place with you!! You’ll have to lead the way with cooking Christmas dinner though because this siren would likely poison you by accident as she’s never had to learn to cook.

✭ She’s all about decorating together though and the whole place will be lit up with lights and candles, there’s a Christmas tree decorated with faux Pearl garlands and silvery ornaments (many of which Des has made with you!!).

. * ⋆ . · 　. APHAELEON

✭ Oddly enough, Aphaeleon isn't very big on Christmas. He's been around long enough to watch it go from a Pagan to Christian holiday and besides, what's the point of celebrating figures that will not be essential to his era as God? Aphae might not be a fan of all the decorations and such but he loves the charity aspect.

✭ You'll be decorating many trees with Aphae as he's used his money money from blackmailing corrupt ppl obv to buy decorations for shelters for the homeless/women/etc. to lift their spirits. This season is quite busy for him as he's leading charity events, masses and gathering essential supplies to donate to shelters. He spends a lot of time going around his churches too which are always open to those in need of shelter but become particularly busy with the colder weather.

. * ⋆ . · 　. VA’ARINIEL

✭ Oh! Va'ariniel's heard about this one! There are stories from a few centuries ago of humans decorating their houses with greenery and a tree with ornaments to invite the fae inside and give them shelter from the cold if needed. Not many humans decorate a Christmas tree for the same reasons now though and so, without the invitation, fae can no longer enter homes to reside in these trees.

✭ She's so eager to bring back this tradition that once stood between fae and humans and so she's got all the castle staff running around to decorate the place (it's also an opportunity to stake her claim to the throne by subtly putting green everywhere ahem). She'll fly up and place ornaments wherever you deem fit and she comes to love a hot chocolate substitute that the two of you figure out how to make together with ingredients from her realm.

. * ⋆ . · 　. TARUQU’INEL

✭ Taruqu'inel had also heard about this Christmas tree tradition but he wasn't as well-versed as Va'ari. He'll hang off your every word as you tell him all about the tradition's history and he's ecstatic to take part in something that once stood to join fae and humans like yourself! His advisors aren't very happy with putting green everywhere and insist he must convince you to use blue instead but he really couldn't care less as long as he gets to see that big smile on your face. He will 100% take you in his arms bridal style and fly up so you can reach places to hang decorations.

✭ However his advisors give you both more than enough resources to hold a feast in Taruqu'inel's name. He knows that they see it as a way of winning people over with generosity and it's a way of showing off what he can provide as a ruler but to Taru this is all about you. He'll have the head chef teaching you both how to make the tastiest dishes, all under your guidance of what a Christmas dinner should be like and you'll be feeding each other desserts by the end of the evening.

. * ⋆ . · 　. KHIONE

✭ While the landscape around Kanastra Highlands holds some beautiful scenery, it can look rather bleak in the winter and so Khione's more than happy to bring some greenery inside. He lets you take the lead in deciding how to decorate everything but he's helping you out every step of the way.

✭ Khione's very giving when it comes to his people and so I'm sure that, like Aphae, he loves the charity aspect the most. He'll get teams of people together months in advance to organise decorations and feasts and parades. Many of the cities across Kanastra have winter markets and he's eager to take you around them all to buy you little gifts and try all sorts of foods with you. Khione is a very serious dragon man 99% of the time but he looks like a child when he's eagerly dragging you around these markets. He looks forward to them all year round.

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[inconsideratekidney]

9/11/24

oop. that title is a date. i don't hold any strong opinions towards that, but also won't try to say anything that would be appropriate just cause it's a certain date. whatever. idk what to say. ok um moving on.

walking home thoughts:

my hair is definitely hairing the way i want it to. i like the length more than a longer or shorter length, but it is also what is considered the awkward length. i only really hate it when it hasn't been washed in a bit, which is often, but today i was happy with it.

what is up with mongo pushing? like just use your front foot. why are you making yourself do more work and look goofy (but not in the right way) doing so?

while i say that i am also holding my fist firmly in the air, upset and regretful that i left my skateboard at home

i really love the way the algae over the pond looks and it definitely makes me feel really excited and warm inside. idk why.

also i hate the walk home. i wish i had my skateboard because why does it take so long. i used to walk so fast like 4 years ago and i've just slowed down for some reason since 3 years ago. wtf.

everyone needs a freakin dpiel in their life. i thought this a couple days ago, but thought about it again today on my walk home. he has such good music taste and makes me listen to artists i wouldn't have thought of on my own and would be like "eh" before, but since he played it in front of me i was like "oh, i'm a dumbass. i have been missing out on some fantastic music" this includes childish gambino, tame impala, and steve lacey, but there are so many songs that he plays that i also love from varying different artists. i also silently add these songs to my library, but i think they're really cool. shoutout to dpiel. striptease, kilby girl, dang!, hey lover, and les were all songs from one drive that i downloaded i believe. keep doing ur thing, man, love to see it.

related, but not from my walking home thoughts, from my now thoughts, i am currently loving music i hear from gabriel like a lot, and starting to like music from miles and obviously dpiel. i've been heavily into arctic monkeys, glass animals, childish gambino, some songs from kevin abstract (i need to explore that avenue further), some from megan thee stallion honestly, some steve lacey, really into tory lanez (controversial cuz he shot megan thee stallion in the foot and wouldn't admit it, but okay.....i really like his music even if he steals it without credit......but i hate who he is as a person), some future, heavy on the weeknd, the whole metro boomin spiderman album, machine gun kelly, some cage the elephant, then some various gabriel songs as i will call them. super loving music rn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i super duper hate pimples. especially this one in my ear that just finally decided to fuck off. hate them with a vengeance. especially since it fucked with my every day life and hurt like hell when i kept accidentally scratching it. anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i finally put my string lights up. still haven't gone to the store for a rug or finished my shelf journey. we got wood tho so yeehaw. gotta figure out the machinery and how tf to get started. i really want to make my bed space more comfy and inviting. especially when i am here way too often, i want to make it super duper comfy. but like not too comfy to where i never leave, but less springy as it is right now. i want to put my mattress topper back on, but my fitted sheets keep coming off of it and make me want to kill something every time they pop off a corner. also it is a little wrong, it sinks in a bit and feels kind of weird. my mom spent money on it so i should use it tho. ugh.

I want to go back to playing the sims. i keep seeing really cool ideas on youtube, i really want to be more creative, so i think i'll go and try some that i've had saved for some time. i kept losing at wii sports tennis for some reason emily and akira are really good :| makin me wanna throw the controller into the tv (i didn't, it's not my controller or tv, and i would never do that if it was pff..).

my throat hurts and i could be getting sick >:( i hate getting sick, especially the sore throat kind. i am going to gargle that cpc mouthwash before that shit decides to go down my entire throat and up my sinuses. fuck you u stupid shit. i'm not staying sick this time, bitch.

anyway, lemme worsen my oncoming headache by playing the sims instead of winding down for bed.

goodnight, good afternoon, good morning, good day,

kD

[izzy-b-hands]

So. I'm allowing myself a vent post or two abt Stuff in the Brain today that won't fuck off, but it'll all be under a cut if I feel I'm at risk of being too wordy so folks don't gotta see this if they don't wanna. And on this one I did get wordy, multi-paragraphs so. fair warning if u decide to be brave and read thru it lol

I'm behind on getting Mum a bday gift. Like two weeks behind. Partially bc money, partially bc the thing I really wanted to get her involves bidding on ebay and attempting to win a listing (and I just haven't managed it yet lmao), and partially bc like:

For once I've been living my life for me, thinking abt me and Housemate first and foremost, and focusing on what I actually want/need from day to day, and that means I'm away from my phone a bit more than usual, which means I've missed some calls and texts from Mum and just haven't been as Available via phone/apps/etc as I've been in the past

(including one time in the last week or so where Housemate and I stepped aside to the kitchen to make ourselves mac n cheese, and Mum was late to calling me for a planned call, so I figured I was safe to leave the phone by the couch while we cooked. Nope! In that less than half hour, 25 mins at most that it took us to finish mac and get plated up, she figured we'd both A. fallen down the stairs and were now dying from brain bleeds while the cats sniffed us in panic and fear B. decided to cut her out of my life forever and so now I wasn't going to be answering her calls (tho this point I didn't know until a much more recent text where she admitted to it and did say she was ashamed of feeling that way.) )

So I really need to get something out to her, either the chocolates I was planning on sending for her and the family from a local shop, the Snoopy Build-A-Bear plushie with a lil 'I miss you' tshirt and a voice thingy inside it with me telling her to remember that I love her and am always grateful for her help and care and things like that, whatever will fit lol (this is the fucker that triggered this whole train crash of a set of thoughts today lmao), and/or something from one of the ebay listings I've been trying to get (I just need to accept it and pay the buy it now price considering what the thing is isn't like. Uber rare? But apparently Bon Jovi doesn't have their figurines made any more, so they're a bit harder to find and I'm gonna risk not getting one at all if I don't just. do the dang thing lmao)

I'm thinking the Snoopy would be best/easiest for rn, but I keep getting stuck on what I'll say for the recording and it's so dumb but like:

I know, for the sake of both of us and the deeply grown and intertwined sort of emotionally incest-flavoured codependency Mum and I have, we probably should eventually try going NC or LC for at least like. a month or two in the future? Probably even a bit longer? Not as like a 'this is forever' thing (unless something would happen that would point to that as the best option for both of us), but just until we can maybe both heal a bit and work closer towards something even vaguely approaching a more normal mother/son relationship.

And the particular fear is very silly but like. I'd hate to say the things I have planned, that I mean (I do love her, and I know she does her best, and so I'm grateful for every bit and every sort of help she's ever given or will ever give me), and then we someday go NC or LC, and she's hurt by having the plush and audio around as a reminder of how things were before. I could see her throwing it away in a fit, and then being so sad and begging for a new one by the next day. And I'd want to get her one. I don't know if that's right of me or not.

Like, the trauma has me Entirely overthinking this and I know it's ridiculous, you know? But still. Got the Build-A-Bear tab open on my phone bc the chocolate is at least partially to be shared, so that's Not Enough as a partial belated bday gift; and I'd like to hit another paycheck (or part of it, since the uni rarely puts the full fucking direct deposit in on scheduled payday lmao) before I try for the Bon Jovi figurine (and hope it isn't bought before that point.) So the plush is really the best choice, and I don't want to wait any longer to send anything out bc like. Her bday was at the beginning of March, this is fucking ridiculous of me and not how I like handling gifts at all, for anyone!!

Fingers crossed I just. Get the fucking recording done, get it ordered and have them send it out to her, and that'll be enough until I can get my hands on a figurine and/or order the chocolates and candies for her, her bf, and to share with the rest of the family.