#i don't know if this is coherent still
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ok here's my Noah/Akio/Rachel proposal outline
Noah and Akio 100% had a thing during their murder days so their entire relationship is doused in this weird mixture of guilt and misplaced loyalty and internalized homophobia (IMO that last one is more on akios side bc look Noah has so much more on his plate that he's past that by now)
I'm working with the assumption that Akio is the father of Rachel's epilogue child and even if you assume they were together strictly to Further The Human Race I don't think Rachel would allow him to be a deadbeat dad. so theyre cosplaying as an expecting married couple when Noah gets revived in the epilogue
as a quick headcanon aside here I think they had a baby together because they were both raised Catholic
I have also decided that Repopulating The Earth was Rachel's idea and Akio kinda just went along with it bc he is at heart an extremely weird dude who can be very easily convinced of things
Noah and Min break up for being too mutually fucked up so Noah moves in w/ his buddy Akio and his totally not deranged baby mama and becomes their live-in nanny for their newborn
Rachel is obviously a requisite asshole to him at first but he's useful to have around so she chills out a little. by that point she also notices that Akio wants to fuck him and she decides she doesn't care as long as operation Repopulate The Earth is still on
like I think Rachel is probably a jealous person but her and Akio's relationship is already so screwy that she just decides to shrug it off
this puts Akio in the awkward position of being the husband in a 1950s Catholic family who wants to fuck the pool boy except the pool boy is deeply mentally ill, was just brought back from the dead, probably still thinks he's in the matrix, and he's like a week out from a murder spree
these guys are famously not very good decision makers so they go for it anyway, you the readers get to decide how that ends I am simply here to present you with options
in my mind Rachel and Noah never really get together even after living with each other and raising kids together for years, in fact they're wildly romantically incompatible, but crucially it is NOT a love triangle. this is not due to any amount of emotional maturity possessed by any one of them, it is purely because when Rachel decides she's joining the idgaf war she is WINNING the idgaf war and the other two got drafted.
that said Rachel and Noah do totally make out sometimes. for funzies.
crucial to understand here is that all three of them are basically playing house but the babyroll is a real life newborn. Rachel and Akio are having kids because that's what their parents did and that's what you're Supposed to do. Noah is with them because he needs to feel secure and it's easy to ignore his problems when he's juggling a newborn with sustenance farming for four people
like okay. they keep trying to frame things in terms of a pre apocalypse nuclear family even though that structure does not and cannot exist anymore. akio is the husband Rachel is the wife and they have a child (familiar family structure), Noah is the pool boy because he's around the family but he's not Procreating tm (deviant family structure but still a familiar pattern to them). they cannot under any circumstances acknowledge that anything going on here is abnormal by any means because that would mean having to confront why it's abnormal (guilt, trauma, the whole murder thing, the fact that they're bringing children into a world that is frankly not hospitable (guilt 2), Noah's entire thing generally)
also Noah and Rachel probably make lots of sister wives jokes about themselves. akio fucking HATES the sister wives jokes but the alternative is harem jokes and he hates those worse
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JJK spoilers
This chapter....THIS chapter has me sobbing a bucket like Yuji, he is so precious. His growth has astonished me so much. His introspection and the ability to step in other's shoes and sympathise with them (even Sukuna) is his greatest strength. His whole fight was to bring Megumi back, to save one person atleast and now not only he grew out of his cog mentality but is leaving the choice in Megumi's hands that it's fine if he wants to give up. For the first time someone tells Megumi it's fine to give up and not wanting to fight anymore or get stronger or fulfill any space or role. Yuji giving Megumi the agency to deal with his loss and trauma, to choose for himself...grieve and just end it all. It's so tragic yet beautiful with how Yuji is always there for Megumi and vice versa. And Megumi's monologue about wanting to enjoy the domesticity of life..God it's heartbreaking how he just wanted to...exist, to live like a 16 year old, safe and surrounded by his loved ones without the burden of being strongest in future on his shoulder.
This panel is so bittersweet...with it being directly parallel to Gojo one but with such stark contrast..Yuji is there for Megumi only..not an ally, not the strongest sorcerer of future but his friend.
#the MCs of jjk everyone#i want you to live but if you go i will still understand your decision. if this is not soulmate behaviour than i don't know what is!?#Megumi getting to chose for himself and choosing to fight back for himself this time. That's my boy🥺🥺#idk if all this yapping even sounds coherent...i hold my keyboard and my ability to make coherent sentence turns that of a 6 years old#jjk 266#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#megumi fushiguro#yujji itadori#itadori yuji#itafushi
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Light's relationship with his father is such a heartbreaking multi-faceted tragedy to me I hate it so so so much.
Soichiro loves his son so much, and while he's certainly not a perfect father I know that he cares deeply about Light. He wants to prove Light's innocence so badly but he can't let go of the underlying doubt that he might really be Kira and it gnaws at him. He does not know that from the very beginning he was being used by Light, whether it was to obtain information about the investigation, or to get to L, or to strengthen the foundations of his own lie that he wasn't Kira, this entire time he was simply another resource. He'll hang onto this doubt for years, even after L is dead, even if he doesn't express it in the latter half of the series, until he himself is on his deathbed, with what he believes to be undeniable proof that Light isn't Kira. (It's a lie, of course.) He dies happy, but it's on the foundations of blissful ignorance. His own son brought him here, brought him to the point where he had to sacrifice half of his own remaining life span, to his own death march, and was still trying to use him even now to kill someone else, but he doesn't know that. Soichiro said that what was evil was the power to kill others, and that whoever used it was cursed. Light was that cursed man, of course, and he tried to bring that curse onto Soichiro too by making him kill in his last moments. Soichiro was happy regardless, because he didn't know. He'll never know. (In the manga/anime at least. More on that later).
Light loves his father but it's not enough to turn him away from the terrible decisions he's made, if anything it only fuels them. His idea of "justice" is a twisted model of what he parroted from Soichiro, and he uses his father as another pawn (and a powerful one at that) in his plans. If he can prove that Kira is justice then perhaps his father will no longer call Kira, and therefore Light, evil, so he just needs to ensure that Kira becomes justice, right? It's Light's own actions that land his own father in the hospital for a stress-induced heart attack and yet he says only a few minutes later that he's the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Even after Soichiro denounces Kira by calling him evil, even after he calls the Death Note's power evil, even after he unknowingly tells Light that he is cursed. When Soichiro dies Light is too deep in his own plans to actually properly process the fact that his own father is dying past what it means for his goals, but at the same time he still cares enough that after the fact he'll genuinely cry, only to brush it all away later. (Personally, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that Light's crying in that scene was genuine and I Will die on this hill). Soichiro had unknowingly denounced Light one last time just before his death, openly relieved that he "wasn't Kira after all", which also reveals that he has had doubts about Light this entire time, even after L died. By the time he's caught at the Yellow Box Warehouse Light will have denounced his father too, seeing him as someone who was made to be a fool, someone who was naive, even, too earnest for his own good. He won't realize that part of this description of his father might have applied to Light himself, back when this all started. Light takes after his father so much in so many ways already, so why not in this way too?
Ough. And honestly the other adaptations never miss out on this tragedy either, and I love them for that. (spoilers for the musical and 2006 live action movies I guess?)
In the musical we see Soichiro express his doubts and conflicts about who to believe, Light or L, if the son he raised really is a murderer, if everything he knows about him is just a lie. Like, there's an entire song about this, and you can tell how torn he is about it all, how badly he wants Light to be innocent but about how he also needs to face the truth no matter what it is, but at the end of it all he doesn't even get the answers he wants. At the end of the musical the only thing he finds is two corpses, Light's and L's, with no answers. No last words, no closure, only dead ends and a dead son and a grieving daughter. It's so awful I hate it here.
And the live action movie is fucking Insane. Like, wow. Okay. (Spoiler for the ending of Death Note The Last Name I guess) In the 2006 movies/novels Light writes Soichiro's name in the Death Note himself, and it's such an inconcievable move that it leaves even Misa shocked; Light tries to make Soichiro give him the Death Note for the last part of his plans, seeing his death as a "necessary sacrifice" (insert tangent essay about why I think 2006 live action movie Light is actually the most "coldhearted" Light Yagami, despite how infamous anime Light is). It doesn't work, and Soichiro does end up finding out that Light is Kira this time, and they have a confrontation, but he doesn't even sound truly hateful towards Light for it. He Never seems to outright hate Light for it, even after Light calls the whole confrontation a waste of time and instead tries to continue killing with the piece of the notebook in his watch, even after he tries to get Ryuk to kill everyone. When Ryuk inevitably writes Light's name and he collapses, Soichiro still reaches out for him and holds onto him as he's dying. Light literally dies in Soichiro's arms, still looking for the validation that he was right, that this wasn't all for nothing, that he was doing the good thing, trying to make Soichiro understand that he was trying to enact justice based on what he learned from him in the first place. Soichiro not only learns but sees for himself what his son has become, and Light dies in his arms leaving no closure for either of them. Soichiro will announce Light's death in L Change the WorLd on the news without saying his name, saying instead that it is only Kira who is dead, even though he and Light are one in the same. Sachiko and Sayu will never get to know the full truth about what happened to Light, instead Soichiro will lie and instead tell them: "Light was killed by Kira."
And then holy Shit the jdrama. If I write about it here this post is gonna literally double in length and also I don't really wanna spoil it but. Man. Man. If you watched it you know. Holy Shit dude I Cried.
It's the fact that, canonically, Soichiro will die oblivious to what Light has done, but even in the instances where he does find out, it doesn't make it any better, and it doesn't make him love Light any less, it just gives him more to grieve.
It's the fact that there isn't a single universe where Light doesn't use his father for his own gain, whether to gain information, or to try and control him with the Death Note, or make him write in the Death Note himself, and not a single time will he realize just how far he's strayed from Soichiro's ideals, and not a single time will he not forsake him for it by the end of the story.
It's the fact that, despite everything, Light will always refers to Soichiro as "dad/my dad" (informal) rather than "father/my father", even after he has been "denounced" (and this is true in every language that Death Note has been translated in, as far as I could find. Man, isn't that so cool! :) <- Through tears).
Anyways that's what I've been thinking of how's your guys' days going
#death note#dn#death note jdrama#death note live action#death note musical#i guess i can tag those#light yagami#soichiro yagami#coda analyzes stuff#i wrote like 90% of this at like 5 am because i was trying to sleep but then a Light Yagami Thought occured#i can't stop i can't stop the stupid analyses#my drafts are slowly piling with them make it stop helpppp#i hate this fucking series !! augh#ohhh shit this post is like 1.4K words long i am actually like so sorry if you read this whole thing through damn#i don't know if this is coherent i had to proofread this over several times but i still don't know if it makes any sense#and i don't feel like proofreading it another time. welp. hits post
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okay I've finished making my big spreadsheet of how mp100 characters refer to each other! some thoughts on this under the cut because it got long
the Kageyama brothers are very polite in how they refer to people. their parents must have really instilled etiquette into them bc no one else is as consistent about using polite honorifics/titles as they are. the only people Mob doesn't give an honorific/title are his brother and Dimple, and the only people Ritsu doesn't give an honorific are Dimple and Shou, who he just calls "Suzuki"
Reigen, on the other hand, is pretty inconsistent and casual with his use of honorifics. he says "Mob-kun" a couple times and "Ritsu-kun" once, but usually they're just Mob and Ritsu (or "Mob's brother" lmao). the only honorific he consistently uses is "Tome-chan"
it's infrequent, but both Reigen and Dimple refer to Mob as "my boy" at some point :') he's their boy!
Ritsu doesn't refer to the Awakening Lab kids at all until he asks their names after being kidnapped lmao the only exception is when he calls out to the older Shiratori brother after the younger one is taken away and he calls him "Shiratori-kun." considering the fact that after asking their names, he refers to both of them as Daichi-kun and Kaito-kun, I think there was absolutely a moment when everyone was freaking out about the Shiratori brothers where he was like "ohhhhh that's his name"
also he switches from "Onigawara-san" to "Onigawara-senpai" when he realizes he's friends with his brother lmao fakeass
even though Mob starts calling Teru "Hanazawa-kun" as soon as they exchange names, Teru doesn't give him the honorific until they decide to raid Claw together. I guess that's the point when he decides they're friendly enough for it? he calls Ritsu "brother-kun" as soon as he realizes they're related and never refers to him by his actual name
everyone calls Teru some variation on his nickname EXCEPT Mob and Dimple. Dimple actually only calls him "brat" and "that guy" for a while until he managed to track him down again during the alleyway incident, which I realized is because he was exorcised before learning Teru's name lskdjflkdsf from the Seventh Division arc onwards, he just calls him "Hanazawa"
I love that Dimple tries to refer to the brothers with cutesy nicknames and both of them are like "if you do that again I'm killing you all the way dead" and he's like "understood." and then refers to them by given name from then on lmao
Teru refers to Dimple as "Dimple-kun" and Tome calls him "Dimple-chan," both of which are SO funny to me because he's way older than them. rude as hell, this evil spirit deserves no respect
Shou doesn't use honorifics or titles for ANYONE. Ritsu is just Ritsu, the Ultimate 5 are all their last names, his dad is just Pops. he also exclusively refers to Mob as "Ritsu's brother" dkfjldskfj
Serizawa alternates between "Shigeo-kun" and "Kageyama-kun" with no real rhyme or reason to it. just seems to depend on his mood I guess
#mp100#this was fun I liked making it!!#the kageyama boys are so polite#I have some Thoughts about shou being the only one ritsu doesn't give an honorific#I wonder if I can wrangle those thoughts into a coherent post#teru definitely knows ritsu's name so I think calling him brother-kun is just an affectionate thing#or he can't call them BOTH kageyama(-kun) and he doesn't want to call him by his given name#ritsu always calls him teru-san which I think is sweet bc he's the only person ritsu refers to by a nickname#everyone else is always last name#shou on the other hand. I don't think he knew mob's name for most of the manga sdlkjfkldsjf#I don't think he learns mob's name until the confession arc and even then he still calls him ritsu's brother#which is hilarious to me#mob never refers to him by name but I think it's a safe bet that he'd call him suzuki-kun#based on how mob refers to most other people his age/younger#uhhhhh what else#dimple fucking HATES that tome calls him dimple-chan#he complains about it repeatedly in the reigen spinoff sldkjfkldsjf
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Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"
#good morning i still have hetaoni on the brain#that scene where it looks like america's going to die but turns out past loop england used the last of his strength to cast a shield on him#(+italy and germany) before sending them back to the present.... godddd#and then current loop england goes and takes on the monster america was worried about and succeeds. at the cost of going blind.#one of the very things america was afraid would happen!! he was so relieved when england survived the fight before finding that out too!!!#i don't know if this is coherent im just. they care about each other so much even though they won't say it and 😭😭😭 it makes me ill#sigh. rotating both them and hetaoni in my mind at the same time makes me so. waaughh#(also obligatory disclaimer that hetaoni doesn't label their relationship in any way them being father and son is just canon in my brain)#hetalia#hetaoni#hws america#hws england#tea dad n coffee son#personal#i have an old hetaoni wip fic that i think i intended to do more with but was mostly just about america and england as far as i got...#i can't remember the rest of my plans for it so maybe i'll shift the focus to them and try to get it finished sometime
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Up and Down
Thoughts on how beings generally perceive their world one spatial dimension lower than the dimensionality of the space they inhabit:
In the flatlands, the way people perceive the world around them is through lines, and so visual receptors HAVE to be on the edges of their shapes
Otherwise by all accounts the person would be effectively blind
So Mrs.Red and Mr.Blue have this strange yellow boy
Who appears to be born with no eyes
(It’s directly in his center, but without tests and doctors nobody can see it)
And for all intents and purposes, the boy is blind
He has to feel his way around buildings and people (in his hand a black cane that his parents bought to aid him)
And he doesn’t know what his parents look like, and only knows them by their voice as they guide him
They love him all the same, regardless
(Meanwhile, he stares up at the infinite expanse of the night sky. But the thing about infinity is that it makes where you stand so infinitesimally tiny in comparison, and no matter how far you run side to side the stars do not move an inch for you. And if they’re all someone sees, the only logical conclusion that can be drawn is that where they are is unspeakably, claustrophobically small)
(It doesn’t matter if the kids at school bully him and the adults look at him with pity and disdain that he can’t even see, because don’t they know how SMALL they are? Don’t they know how small EVERYTHING is?)
And so, with years and years and nowhere else to go, Bill reaches UP
(And no-one else has tried before, because why would they? There is no up or down to conceive, only forwards and backwards and left and right.)
It takes unimaginable amounts of energy to punch a rift into a dimension. In a time and space unmeasurably far away, a six fingered man and his five fingered twin would learn that lesson well
In the flatlands, it’s less of an interdimensional portal looming ominously in a metal room and more of a calculation
l is for length. w is for width. h is for height
And like a computer told to divide by zero, everything falls apart
Did you know that when energetic particles that erupt from the stars collide with a sufficiently nitrogen rich atmosphere, it produces the color blue?
Did you know the only reason the flatlanders didn’t drift off into the freezing cold yet boiling hot void of space, despite not having a planet with the volume and mass needed to produce a gravitational field, is their dimension’s lack of third dimensionality?
Like insects pinned underneath glass, yet the glass protected their corpses from falling apart?
They scream. He cries. He laughs. They die.
It’s an old saying: “When gravity falls and earth becomes sky beware the beast with just one eye”
And when little Billy looks away from the stars, looks down to finally see his tiny, minuscule home
For the first and last time, he sees a blue triangle with a hat, and a red triangle with a bow.
#gravity falls#flatland#bill cipher#the book of bill#I love the lore and characterization of bill because he's so flawed but in a way that like I don't know how else he coulda turned out#don't get me wrong I still hate him as a person and all i can say to his death is “rest in piss bozo you had it fuckin comin”#but like he's fascinating to me#in a “i'd psychoanalyze him just to make him break down screaming and sobbing in a rap battle” kinda way#tbh i wanted to make this into a fic but uh...yeah the sentences weren't sentencing#fic post#??? dunno if that fits#if someone wants to turn this into an actually coherent fic please let me know so i can platonically kiss you on the lips#shut up gremlin#also ngl it's also lowkey giving spamton themes of reaching for [HEAVEN] ok i'll actually stop now#ft. terminallysilly's rockabye billy cover playing in my head on loop
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I am so late, and I couldn't even finish shit in time, so instead have this watercolor I made for a tgcf art contest that I've been itching to upload. They have my whole heart your honor
#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#hob#heaven official's blessing#hua cheng#xie lian#hualian#save me hualian#i stayed up till 3am once to finish this barely cluthing onto my sanity much less my coherence#happy bday to hua cheng my favourite sopping wet simp king#no one does it like him#he deserves to be in his gege's arms#as a treat you know?#shoutout to you if you're still reading all this#will i ever stop using tags inappropriately? no i don't think i will
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thinking about how helena and dick kind of mirror each other. they're a similar age, their families were killed tragically before their eyes–spurring on their life long quests for justice, they both can be very determined. the key difference between them is that dick operated as a vigilante with a pretty extensive support system from a young age while helena's is more limited requiring her more so to forge her own path.
i think the nightwing/huntress comic discusses this pretty well in regards to their respective relationships with the bat family. there's a sort of bat family in-group that dick is a part of and helena is not. that's probably because helena has had to find her way as a vigilante without the guidance of batman. so the conclusions she comes to about what must be done can be pretty different in a way that can create a rift between her and them.
the affects of the disparity in the level of support each of them has can also be seen with their respective relationships with teams. dick has the opportunity to create a team with his peers and so together they form the teen titans. meanwhile, helena ends up being manipulated multiple times into joining teams. the community dick has allows him to help create a team on his own, while helena's isolation leaves her more susceptible to being manipulated. helena is able to build more of a support system later on in her vigilante career with the birds of prey but ultimately their paths deeply shaped them both.
#i don't even know if this is coherent but it helped me calm down from a stressful situation.#helena bertinelli#dick grayson#this is a bit more helena focused but the comparison is still relevant to dick :P#helena's mafia background and the influence it had bruce's perspective on her is something i might also explore a little in a reblog of thi#also another similarity between them is that tim is their little brother :)#dc#my text#also i feel like there's more to explore with the actual affect this has on their relationship
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hello dear, hope you're doing well physically & mentally. lots of hugs for you!
i've been wondering about the physical touch in Gahan's dynamic especially. we all know how much physical abuse Yohan has gone through in his childhood, the kidnapping by Sunah, him willingly explode a whole ass room with bombs with him inside it too but pushing away his loved one out.
now compare to Gaon. this Bambi has better experience with physical touch in his life seeing as how he's comfortable leaning to Soohyun seeking comfort while grieving for the loss of his parents. reaching out to Yohan so easily when he sees Yohan woke up from a nightmare. how he reaches for Kkomi and put her on his lap, the lovely and respectful interaction with Elijah.
I always have this thought in my head that it would be tricky for them to have this physical touch without one misunderstood the meaning of one's action. personally i bounced back and forth of the idea Yohan can manipulate and charm ppl with his sex prowess. just because he knows being seduction and sex goes hand in hand with manipulation. It does seem like Yohan can be the type to do especially that the way he gazes at Gaon & Sunah. But we all know he has brother complex lol, while with Sunah he can get the rush of feeling powerful having someone around his level to play with. Either that idea or I think Yohan never has the chance to explore sex bcs it's too much physical touches and too much emotional investment in such a short period of time. Perhaps he can have sex while his sex partner is tied up, not touching Yohan but he's the one who has control to touch them, hence why the kinky dom Yohan exist. So i think domestic touches will be like taming stray or feral creatures. It would take a long time and patience on both sides to be in the safe space and trust.
now.. wdyt Gahan would be in if they were already in a romantic relationship. How would they interact? Who would initiate what? What difference would it be for them in domestic/ innocent interactions and in bed? I would like to know your thoughts on this one. I wish I can pour my detailed thoughts for this but i'm afraid to scare you off with my long-ass paragraphs hahaha it's been a while since I have conversations analyzing character's personality and their depths, just geeking out about them and it can be intense and intimidating for people if I pour all my thoughts out for these shit lol
I wish you well! Take your time on your recovery & in writing, we'll always be here for you!
I'm currently in pain from shoveling too much snow but, other than that, I'm pretty okay. Thank you for asking 💜
Physical touch is a very fascinating subject when it comes to these two, isn't it? Probably because there's so much tension between them.
Anyhow! I actually think that Yo Han has had a lot of sex but, like, only with the right people? He may have been abused as a child (and definitely has trauma and trust issues because of it) but he's also a very clever and intuitive man. And he'd know how to find partners he can have casual, enthusiastic, and fun sex with. Like, some random woman or man he meets at a bar who thinks he's hot? Definitely. Some random woman or man he meets in a professional setting who is clearly trying to gain something from having sex with him? Absolutely not.
Having sex is a very intimate act in some ways, but exactly how intimate depends a lot on the partner, the setting, and the circumstances. Yo Han would only go for people he's not feeling threatened by or knows he can control without exerting too much effort. But I also think he'd enjoy the challenge of wooing people. Like, how fast can he make this woman shed her clothes? What should he say to make this man swoon? Flirting would be a game for him, too, but "winning" just means he and the other person get to have sex so it's actually pretty harmless.
And I think he'd be fine doing it with strangers and letting them touch him. Because he doesn't actually seem averse to touch in the drama? Unused to it, yes — especially the tender kind — but not scared of or uncomfortable with it. He puts himself and his body through a lot, yes, but never in a reckless or self-destructive way. More often than not, he knows exactly what the risks are and deems them worth whatever payoff comes at the end (unlike Ga On who just... throws himself into danger without much thought).
One of the few (if not the only time) Yo Han seems genuinely scared of physical touch is when Ga On tries to comfort him after his nightmare. Which says a lot, I think. He's more scared of a touch meant to soothe than one meant to hurt, since he doesn't want to show weakness. He doesn't know how he will react to a touch like that and would therefore rather push it away.
But he doesn't even flinch when Sun Ah raises a hand to slap him, which is definitely a situation where some (but not all) who have been abused in the past would react. So, clearly, he's not as traumatised as he could have been, or has learned to control it enough for it not to show too much. To me, Yo Han doesn't seem averse to casual touching and does it quite a lot himself, like towing Ga On around at the gala, lightly patting Lawyer Ko's arm, offering his arm to Jin Joo at the other gala etc.
And I personally don't think there will be all that many misunderstandings between him and Ga On as to what a certain touch means? They both seem way too smart for that? There might still be general misunderstandings, of course, but not when it comes to that. If nothing else, the intent behind touches is something Yo Han had to learn long ago because you can't manipulate people only using sexual prowess. He needs more than one method and that means recognising what different touches mean, when to give them etc.
My personal headcanon for Yo Han is that he has no trouble using his sex appeal to manipulate when appropriate, but his strength lies in how he adapts to the situation, sometimes being kind and understanding, sometimes being firm and commanding, and, sometimes, being flirty and sensual.
The way he prefers to have sex is for fun, though, and he enjoys it a lot with the right people. But he'd never do it if he felt uncomfortable or threatened by his partner, and he's good enough at reading people that he'd know the other person's intentions long before the actual sex happens. So, for example, I don't think he'd ever want to have sex with Sun Ah even if he could tie her up. He'd be too suspicious to actually enjoy it xD
To me, Yo Han is the kind of man who has a lot of trauma, but has also worked a lot on overcoming said trauma. If he did so in a healthy way I will leave unsaid, but I don't think he'd allow himself to be wary of other people's touch. I think Yo Han would be frustrated by his own limitations if he could only have sex with people while they're tied up, simply because he's uncomfortable with them touching him. That's too big of a weakness — something someone could exploit. And he'd train that out of himself as soon as possible. His whole thing is that he's unshakeable and impenetrable and that's a choice — something he's putting effort into being. And so I, personally, can't see him allowing himself to have that kind of "flaw."
As a friend of mine said: "He's a man even more in control of himself than he is others."
That said, I think he enjoys tying people up because it gives him added control and makes it more fun to play with his victims partners. So I'm all for Dom!Yo Han — he is one in every fic I've written so far — I just think he does that because he likes it, not because it's the only way he can have sex.
And, to be entirely honest with you? I don't think Yo Han needs to tie people up in order to control them in the bedroom. I'm pretty sure that man can make his partners do pretty much anything he wants them to, without using a single tool or restraint. Because that is the kind of Dom he is.
ANYHOW. To your questions! (boy did I get derailed there for a while)
Ga On is definitely the cuddly one. Like, once he gets comfortable, he's the one who gives and asks for hugs, will walk up behind Yo Han and wrap his arms around him, snuggle up on the couch, put his head in Yo Han's lap etc. Because I definitely agree with you that the casual, domestic touches will be more difficult for Yo Han. He's used to giving some of them, like pats on the shoulder, a supportive hand, fixing Ga On's clothes — practical things. But the ones that are just because? Clearly, that's out of his wheelhouse and he's too prideful to ask for them.
Again, not because he's broken, scared, or doesn't understand them, but simply because he's not used to them. And he doesn't like feeling insecure or appearing weak, so he wouldn't risk asking and making a mistake.
So it'll fall upon Ga On to offer them, which he of course does. He's a pretty physical person with the people he trusts, provided that politeness and such allows it. Like, clearly, one of the reasons why Ga On doesn't touch Yo Han much in the drama is due to the workplace hierarchy, the fact that Yo Han is older (and it's considered rude to touch someone older without their permission), and just Yo Han's overall... Yo Han-ness. But once Ga On gets free rein?
Yo Han won't know what hit him.
But it'll take time for them to get used to it, yes. Like, just teaching Yo Han how to return casual hugs that aren't in a life-or-death situation is going to take a while. But he'll get used to it eventually and while I don't think he'll ever be the one to initiate certain things — like the more cuddly hugs that might make him look clingy — he'd always reciprocate when Ga On does.
Yo Han is a little too prideful to ask for cuddles, but he'll graciously agree to them when Ga On asks him to give them.
(He and Komi have that in common, I guess)
As for sex, that depends? I think they can both initiate it, but Yo Han enjoys it more when Ga On does so, just because he likes seeing Ga On horny and desperate xD Yo Han is definitely the one in charge, though. That's not to say that Ga On can't snatch control from him or throw him off-balance from time to time, but probably only during brief moments when he's being particularly cheeky and bratty. I think they both enjoy the push-and-pull — the fact that Ga On challenges Yo Han is a part of the thrill — but are more comfortable when Yo Han is in control.
Especially since Yo Han is very good at it.
All that said, I do think — and this might be an unpopular and scandalous opinion — that Yo Han could, eventually, let Ga On top him. But we're talking years down the line, when they're so comfortable with each other that there are no secrets or doubts. Because, yes, Yo Han is a man who prides himself on having control but, eventually, he's also going to realise that having control and having power isn't necessarily the same thing. And being in charge and having control isn't necessarily the same thing, either. Ga On has a tremendous amount of power over Yo Han despite not being in charge or in control the majority of the time.
I mean, there's a reason why they say that the sub is the one with the real power since they're the ones willingly handing it over to someone else. And if they can give it, they can also revoke that privilege — and there is absolutely nothing the Dom can do about that. In that situation, the Dom is, quite literally, powerless.
And I think, especially as he gets older and softer, Yo Han would realize that trusting Ga On to top him is, in fact, a sign of his own strength. And I don't mean that in a "real men know how to bottom" kind of way. But in a "I love this man and I trust him and myself enough to let him have this power over me because that, in itself, means I have power."
But, again, that's several years into their relationship and 99,9% of the time, Yo Han is the one topping. But, every once in a while, Ga On can be the one in charge. As a treat.
... I may have gotten off track again.
But I'd say that's about the gist of it? There are, of course, more specific examples and details, too.
Yo Han is definitely the one doing most of the dirty talk, but Ga On will not hesitate to use his doe-eyes to his advantage and say the most kinky, outrageous things sometimes, just for the pleasure of watching Yo Han bluescreen. I also think that Yo Han will develop a habit of burrowing his nose in Ga On's hair when they're hugging/cuddling. And, as I've mentioned in a previous post, Yo Han is the little spoon 90% of the time. I also think that Ga On is going to be pretty shy and prudish when it comes to talking about sex and anything relating to it (at least at the beginning), but kinky as fuck when it comes to the actual acts. Like, he can't say "cock" without wincing, but he'll gladly let Yo Han tie him up and fuck him so roughly and thoroughly he's covered in bruises afterwards.
I really could go on but then we'd be here forever and I have work tomorrow x'D
So I'm hoping you got something out of this long rant! Thank you so much for the ask! I admit that I don't often spend time thinking about fictional characters' sex lives, but I apparently have a lot of opinions regardless. Though, to be honest, I think Yo Han and Ga On is the couple where I've had to think about it the most, since physical closeness (of both the sexual and more innocent kind) is extremely important for their dynamic. So yeah.
Take care, darling! 💜
#Amethystina Replies#fr-wiwiw#I genuinely had to think on this one for a while before I was able to answer#A lot of things are already stored in my brain somewhere#But the tricky part is formulating it into a somewhat coherent reply#And I still don't know if I managed#I always feel like I forget so many details and aspects x'D#I stand by that thing about Yo Han bottoming btw#I think that would be wonderful character development for him#To eventually be able to trust someone that much#And you KNOW Ga On would be amazingly considerate#So yeah#That's my headcanon#And you can pry it from my cold dead hands
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I have questions about the Weave, and I thought you might know.
Since not all magic comes from Mystra (warlocks, sorcerers who get their magic from say, the Shadow Weave and the Feywild), do the magic casters who get their abilities from other sources use the Weave or no, since it’s “hers”? For example. If I had a Wild Magic sorcerer, or a Shadow Magic Sorcerer, are they like. Always manipulating the Shadow Weave or whatever the Feywild has, or are they “borrowing” use of Mystra’s Weave when they’re on the material plane/toril/etc since she sort of rules the roost in these areas? And, if she wanted these sorcerers, or warlocks I suppose, to be not able to do magic, would she be able to stop them if their magic doesn’t come from her? I guess the same might go for clerics, since their powers come from their own gods, which isn’t always Mystra, so I don’t know if that’s Weave-based or not.
I’m sorry if this is difficult to parse, these were falling asleep questions that I wanted to ask before I forgot. Also I really appreciate your lore dumps and things they’re super helpful and interesting.
With the sole exception of Shadow Magic, all magic on Toril comes from/relies on the Weave/Mystra: magic + the Weave, and Mystra are one and the same. As I recall Gale saying, Mystra is magic.
Different classes simply access the Weave differently. The Weave is a sort of gateway/safety barrier maintained by Mystra to keep magic anchored and prevent raw magic breaking lose and uncontrolled (wild magic) or becoming unreachable (dead magic). Spellcasters basically build roads through the Weave in order to reach, channel and shape that raw magic.
Arcane magic is "the Art": For sorcerers magic is an innate part of them, and through trial and error (and sometimes education) they build their own personal routes of access. Wild magic sorcerers are still trying to cast spells as normal, there's just a very high chance of things going haywire. Wild magic utilises the areas where the Weave is damaged; it still uses it and the Weave must exist for Wild Magic to exist, if the Weave is completely absent then the raw magic is inaccessible and you get Dead Magic zones where magic isn't possible at all. An analogy that's given for warlocks is that their patron basically gives them a magic GPS so that they can find a path through the Weave using a road set up by the patron. Wizards and Bards build their roads through study (which is more academia and scientific method like for wizards, and usually more prose/verse/music theory-esque for Bards)
Divine magic, as used by clerics, druids, paladins, rangers and etc, is "Power": Mortal reaches out via prayer, god reaches back, and the path in the Weave is formed that way. While this power is the power of the deity itself, implanted with instructions on "how to use" into the worshipper's brain, it still gets into their brain via the Weave, and so gods and worshippers must go through Mystra as an intermediate/conduit.
Spellcasters from other worlds who come to Toril must use the Weave while they are there. Torilian spellcasters who go planewalking are subject to the magic systems/rules that govern wherever they're going.
Mystra can and will destroy your roads or ban your access to them - and would genuinely love to ban access to evil deities and people who want to use magic to harm others - but policing single mortal on Toril is a bit of a pain in the ass, and she's also limited by the terms of her employment contract as goddess of magic.
Mystra, as the manifestation of the Weave, decides who can draw upon it and who is barred from accessing it. Deciding is somewhat taxing to her, for every attempted use of the Weave by the target of this ability draws her attention and some small bit of her power, but for a mortal (or even a hun- dred mortals) doing so, this distraction is trivial to the deity. Such a punishment is normally reserved for someone who has been abusive of magic, trying to inflict great harm to magic itself (such as by intentionally creating areas of wild or dead magic), or researching spells of mass destruc- tion, such as many of those known in Imaskar, Narfell, Netheril, and Raumathar. Such a being cannot access the power of the Weave, cannot cast spells or use spell comple- tion or spell trigger items or activate spell-like or supernat- ural abilities. However, magic and its effects can still harm them, and such beings typically are slain by their rivals or angry commoners for their cruel and mad works. Mystra can also bar a deity from accessing the Weave, which would prevent the deity from using magic while in Faerûn but not while the deity was on another plane where the Weave does not exist, such as any of the planar homes of the deities. Such an act is very draining to her, and she only does it to reduce the power of a deity intervening directly in Faerûn. She cannot block a deity’s ability to grant spells to wor- shipers without negating the ability of each worshiper to draw on the Weave. In addition to being time-consuming to locate each of the target deity’s followers and sever their individual connections to the Weave, such an act would greatly upset the balance of power between the deities, angering Lord Ao. - Magic of Faerûn
Mystra has also closed off all and any access to Netherese High Magic, which is clearly too powerful to trust such hubristic creatures as mages with. You will stay within the power cap of 9th level spells, and you will like it.
The two areas of magic outside of her control are: Psionics, apparently (although that's not what it's called on Toril. It's better known as "mind magic" colloquially, "metaphsychics" to academics, and "mindfire" to mages (or the "Invisible Art", to Duergar). Sources disagree here. Some will tell you that Psionics are something other: and others will say that they still tap into the Weave but for some reason Mystra has zero influence over it, although it's been suggested that this is more because Mystra is "too busy with all the arcane shenanigans!", and thus far has only kept a careful side eye on it. She can and will still slap you down if you start threatening the stability of the Weave/the health of the world.
Where the Weave is the tapestry of all reality, governed by Mystra, the Shadow Weave is a copy made by Shar using the gaps between the threads of the true Weave: absolute nonexistence. Shar's end goal is to spread use of the Shadow Weave until it's used more than the Weave, and then take Mystra's place as goddess of magic. Ultimately though, while the Shadow Weave is very good at illusion, enchantment, necromancy and etc it comes with a lot more limitations and drawbacks: for example it can't replicate any spells that create light and heat. Also channelling it is a traumatic experience, and most users end up converting to Shar, because at least then she does her thing and numbs them to the suffering using her "gift" causes. As the Shadow Weave is not part of Mystra, she has no way of knowing if somebody is using it or cutting them off.
That said, apparently the Shadow Weave still relies on the Weave to exist and function. :
The Shadow Weave is an alternative to the Weave crafted by Shar that literally rides atop the Weave; it is an echo of the Weave and can't survive without it. - Ed Greenwood
Ultimately, there is no real way to completely get around needing Mystra if you want to use magic on Toril.
#Did this need to be this long. Did it answer anything. I do not know.#Don't worry about being coherent: you have a better shot than I do#Influenza decided to hit me like a truck so there's a chance I'm still slightly delirious from post-fever and lack of decent rest#My kingdom for a decent immune system#lore stuff#asks
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actually, Fyodor saying that--
surprised, not by the flooding, but by the fact that Dazai and his 7-year partner's bond was so shallow that Dazai think Chuuya's ability cannot deal with that flood // @/popopretty
--is surprising to me because Chuuya didn't really do... much for them to escape.
You see, this wasn't an incorrect fact:
Dazai is right, the walls are anti-ability and we see this in action too: (this most probably was a part of Fyodor's plan to throw Dazai off-guard and make him think that his plan was working)
Yes, Chuuya's ability doesn't work on the walls. Dazai didn't underestimate him or his ability. He looked at the facts and gave his opinions. (That's why I think his words in BSD 101 were also true, he must have really believed that Chuuya was going to drown because he had no way of knowing that Fyodor was gonna pick him for a pawn)
Getting Chuuya to break the threshold between every door was Fyodor's idea.
And it doesn't even seem like a big deal to break the threshold; it hardly took the power of a finger for Chuuya. (and no more than a slight dent in the floor should be enough for the water to flow out)
So.... why is he talking about their trust and bond and all if not to simply rile up Dazai?? It's Fyodor that Dazai should have kept an eye on (and still needs to) because once again, this conjurer is misdirecting his attention to his 'stronger' assistant here while the actual trick was all Fyodor's.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fyodor#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bsd 105.5#bsd 106#bsd spoilers#bsd analysis#my-bsd-posts#i am unable to put this in proper words bc i am so excited#i will probs add more to this later when i have more coherent thoughts#but yeah tl;dr#it wasn't chuuya that dazai underestimated#it was fyodor#not only do we still don't know his ability#he managed to escape by what a leak between the doors and a gun?#eta: please also check my re-reblog#i added a few corrections after reading the translation
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season 1 isn't my favorite season or anything, but it has my absolute favorite portrayal of house by far. he goes to patients' lacrosse games, does their prenatal care, talks with and follows up with them when it's completely narratively unnecessary (but in a good way; i just couldn't think of a less pejorative description). he's even kinder to his team. and best of all, he explains things — takes the time to argue for a risky treatment and has a clear basis for treating rather than testing. he's more grounded. he still does all this later in the series, of course, but as the seasons go on he seems more and more ashamed of his kindness and humanity. i think as the show progresses, it gets too used to itself, used to the fact that house just says rude things and does risky treatments because that's just "who he is". i am totally willing to make the argument that he gets flanderized in a way.
while i love later-seasons house, don't get me wrong, my favorite is always going to be the house who is the most grounded in reality. he's still scared of it, but he acts like a human. and that is who house really is to me — not the layers of sarcasm, bigotry, outlandish subplots and unrealistic procedure, but the guy who grumbles and groans about doing his job but secretly loves it and has the show making efforts to expose that secret. so yeah season 1 house supremacy
#house specifically in broken comes second in my favorite house characterizations lineup but not season 6 as a whole#because while he's kinder he's still at times a caricature of himself or at least far too comfortable with narrative conventions#as they use up more and more plots they have to escalate and make cases more dramatic and so house follows suit and i get it#i even love a ton of this drama#and i don't think he turns into a bad character by any means i think some of this even improves on his character#he just. you know. turns into a character#i don't even know if any of this is coherent much less a good analysis of the series/house#but fuck it that's like half of my posts i have no idea what i'm doing ever#house md#greg house#house md season 1#analysis#meta
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my experience at am's show (3arena, dublin, 15/10/2023)
starting to write this post while stuck waiting at the airport, after somehow managing to get rid of my sleep deprivation headache through an overpriced orange juice. (edit: it's been two days and i'm stuck at home with a cold and it's all their fault) (jk) (i mean i guess that's giving me an incentive to finish writing this post so yknow. silver linings)
i'm sorry in advance because i know this is gonna be super long (and probably less cheerful than my other recap posts because i'm opinionated) but i swear i'm gonna try and not be insufferable (said as i obviously lie)
• SO let's start off by saying that we made it right in time for the start of miles' set (we were looking for our seats as he came on stage) and thank god because i was shitting myself and almost throwing up thinking we were gonna be late bc the bus we were supposed to take never showed up and we had to take another one. we literally SPRINTED up the stairs once we were in and heard he was coming up
• seeing miles open for them was moral compensation for his milan concert that i wasn't able to attend despite having tickets in 2022
• he had a very short time slot as usual with opening bands :/ and unfortunately that led to everything feeling a bit rushed :( like i'm not sure how he's been playing songs like cry on my guitar or the wonder at his latest gigs but they were SO DAMN FAST like please slow down i want to let my fav omb song sink in 😭
• still i absolutely LOVED his set, especially colour of the trap (which was AMAZING live), rearrange, come closer and inhaler. his energy was through the roof, he was literally buzzing and if you can already see how much he loves performing via video, it absolutely shines through when you see it live like. bro's literally a ball of light and energy and like. the sun personified l??? he's got so much charisma and a great stage presence. he was all smiles and really really tried to get the crowd hyped. loved him loved his set
• speaking of the crowd. it was absolute bullshit they had ZERO idea how lucky they were to have tickets to one of those four dates and how iconic it was that mk was opening for am after all these years. or maybe they just didn't care idk but i swear to god it wasn't even the usual "crowd who's not interested in the opening act" which. again. do you know how lucky you are you're seeing them both on the same night. don't let yourself be fooled by that cott video with the phonelights on, that was the only thing they did to show miles at least the tiniest bit of support - they were fucking dead otherwise, which is so weird because if you know am at more than a surface level you most likely know who miles is, and you probably know at the very least some of his songs... and yet they were so fucking quiet it was honestly painful to witness. most people there really had no idea how much lore was behind those gigs and it shows
• but again, it wasn't even that they weren't interested in the opening act. because they were fucking dead even during the main set. my section was full of drunk guys who were kinda hyped but very annoying (we'll come back to this later) but even in the pit which is supposed to be the most active area it looked like everyone was asleep and woke up at random times remembering they were at a concert and they were supposed to cheer and sing and just act accordingly ??¿¿??
• not even dancefloor or diwk managed to wake them up......DIWK. that's like. the song that's guaranteed to make the ground shake. i've seen am three times this year and in both paris and rome the crowd was usually only dead during the car songs (and tbhc depending on the song) - but they were INSANELY active during other songs, both oldies and classics. but this crowd was so disappointing literally snork mimimi-ing their way through the show
• anyway. miles should have played wrong side of life just for me and he also had the opportunity to do the funniest shit ever and play killing the joke or see ya when i see ya but alas one cannot have everything
• he did do something very......interesting during cry on my guitar (and i think also during one man band? but i'm not sure). my guy pointed at the mirrorball while singing "late night, all night, miss your kiss" which was kinda insane and i lost my mind a little but anyway
• as we all know there was no tlsp because he removed aviation first and then sntm which particularly hurt because he did it just a couple of hours before the show and when i saw that i just Knew. i knew shit was rapidly going downhill but still i was holding out my hope!!! i thought well there's still 505 or maybe they're saving sntm for later!!! i chose to keep being delusional!!! and boy was i about to get slapped in the face!!!
• now before we talk about am's set allow me to tell you a funny story. as i said my section was full of men who were very hyped (especially for wpsia/fwn/am songs) and the guy right next to me in particular (who was there with some other male friends) was, to put it shortly, a fucking annoyance. i was there with my brother and as we were waiting for the start of am's set he went to get us some water; so i was there alone minding my own business when the guy next to me immediately started hitting on me (he literally waited for my brother to leave bc he probably thought he was my bf lmao real smooth man). he was trying to make conversation asking me where i came from or things about the band, if it was my first time seeing them and what song did i think they were gonna open with and internally i was like BITCH who do you think i am. i literally know their setlist by heart. you and me are not the same
when i told him sculptures was gonna be the opener he was like 'mmmm idk' and i was like shut the fuck up. he was so condescending and patronizing about it and mentally i was like honey trust me we're not the same kind of fans i know much more than you do. anyway spoiler: of course they opened with sculptures
(he was also from england and told me he saw them in london at emirates stadium and when i asked him if he saw them on THE night when miles joined them he was like 'haha no' at which i was mentally like bro you didn't even see them on the right night why are you pestering me with your lame ass attempts at hitting on me. and he was so close too and already tipsy and basically just a stereotypical english dudebro and i swear the whole scene literally looked like this
but anyway then my brother came back and he finally shut up
• the problem is. this guy and his friends then started chugging on their beers and getting really drunk and the whole show this fucking idiot had no idea what personal space was because he kept invading my section and kept moving around drunkenly and i couldn't even fully enjoy the concert because i was so fucking scared i was gonna get elbowed in the face sooner or later, and i even tried to push him off because he kept bumping into me with his clumsy ass drunk moves but he just kept fucking being a nuisance the whole show and i really really wanted him gone from planet earth <3
• this went on to the point that i was dreading the fast and more active songs because this guy would just start being really frantic and overexcited and i literally feared for my life but even during the calmer songs he was fucking annoying like bruh. i appreciate the enthusiasm but i promise you don't have to throw it back to cornerstone like calm the fuck down or at least back off and stay in your fucking lane or i swear i'm gonna bite your head off
• anyway now let's talk about the actual show
• let me start by saying that yes i may have some complaints but regardless of everything it was (as always) a fucking great show. no doubt about that. i very much enjoyed it and i'm also very happy we were the first crowd to experience the strings live. i definitely got some better setlists (rome's lives in my head rent free), but it is what it is. beautiful show but well, it's always a beautiful show with them and we all know that. i may have mixed feelings about some things but these are just my opinions so please don't come at me lmao
• about the setlist: i definitely would've appreciated if we got a bit more tbhc (we only got the title track and that was it... i mean at least i got to hear it live, for the first time if i remember correctly, but still..... i'm mourning the loss of 4/5 and star treatment) (we didn't even get the iwby x star treatment x jet skis mashup which i was really sad about because i LOVE that mashup and i would've loved to hear it again); for the car, i'm so happy i got to hear hello you (we'll talk about this more later) but i also would've loved to hear perfect sense again because </3 sir that's my emotional support favourite the car song </3
• i was also thinking we'd get a bit more wpsia since originally it was the uk&ireland tour and back in june they played some more songs from that album, also because usually the closer they get to home, the more they go back to the origins... i was so hoping for mardy bum, a certain romance or ritz but instead we only got the view from the afternoon (not complaining about that tho) and dancefloor (please for the love of god remove that song from the setlist forever thank you very much)
• also if you want to give us sias (good) then why would you choose to give us don't sit down.........give us hellcat.......give us the title track........anything but That One...................
• however i got my beloved cornerstone (<3), 505 with the new string outro (but at what cost) and also all the car songs with the orchestra so that's a win
• as usual the crowd was kinda dead during the car and tbhc songs but again. they were already dead so they only became more dead during those songs
• they didn't really interact that much with the crowd, nor with each other; alex limited himself to the usual ("good evening dublin", "how you feeling/are you enjoying us dublin", "thank you", a couple of "terrific" here and there but that was it) + he did a shout out to jamie during cornerstone ("it's jamie cook here on his electric guitar!") and i think they scissored at some point during the body paint outro
• the transition from teddy picker into crying lightning was absolute FIRE my ass was shaking
• now for some silly antics
• after the piano interlude before high he said "why'd you only call me when you're high........" in the lowest saddest way ever as he usually does. okay man 😃👍
• he introduced arabella by going "i'll tell you about a girl that i made up......real character......arabella" like bruh we got it we understand you totally made her up and she's 100% not real like i promise we Get It we really do. why do you always feel the need to reinforce that why are you so adamant about it ESPECIALLY when in the presence of a certain someone......you're so sus
• "and it sounds like..........THIS" before the arabella guitar solo. literal chills
• "let's bring this party down to the cornerstone.........woah 😯"
• he always adds this thing during cornerstone i remember he also did it in rome and then i forgot to post the clip but i swear i never understand what he's saying i've seen some people transcribe it as 'ken barlow' but to me it sounds more like 'jenny ballow' or smth like that which doesn't make sense either way but still. does anyone know what i'm talking about and wtf he's on about
• nothing to say about cornerstone. beautiful beautiful beautiful as always <3 he also did the "squeezed me very tightly" bit that he always does and it was the cutest thing
• he sang the last line of the song so cuntily it was like. 'yes 😗 you can call me anything 😏 you want 💅' if it slayed
• after the song ended there was a moment of silence after which he went "......they kept in touch" and i felt the need to put him in a blender and drink him whole
• "from our first LP wpsiatwin, the view from the afternoon......."
• he got on his knees during pretty visitors. where he belongs
• we also got knee socks but there was something wrong because his voice cracked multiple times on the higher notes, he didn't even finish singing some lines - he just stopped, shook his head and then tried the next one... idk what was happening but he really looked like he was struggling during that song :(
• at the end of fluorescent adolescent he sang "remember when you used to be a rascal....... ~do you remember?~" which i saw he also did at last night's show and idk man that was kinda sus
• the strings were absolutely amazing showstopping spectacular and really put a nice ribbon on the songs they were used for (especially 505 and hello you) but that just makes things even more infuriating because why did they only get the whole orchestra there for the last four shows which weren't even originally supposed to happen.......... are you telling me if alex hadn't caught laryngitis we never would've have got them or what. like what's up with that
• anyway up until this point despite the lack of sntm i was still a sweet naive summer child who had some hopes left for 505. but the moment the music started playing without miles having been introduced to join them i knew. i knew we wouldn't get shit
• the 505 outro with strings was amazing tho......so melancholy and beautiful and just sososo pretty i loved it. would've loved it even more if miles and alex smooched right there and then
• as i said the crowd was dead even during diwk which was absolutely embarrassing lmao like wtf. not only was i the only one popping my pussy to the car and tbhc songs i also was the only one doing it to the most basic ahh song (still a banger tho it's always so powerful live 10/10)
• i can't believe the biggest milex interaction we got was alex saying "let's hear it for miles kane" right before body paint... i nearly lose my mind there and he literally just said his name (not a dedication like some people said) but i mean. that was at least acknowledging each other so i'll take that (said as i rip my hair out and bite my tongue and roll on the floor hitting myself)
• i was so delusional at that point when i heard he said his name i thought well maybe they're gonna be random and he's gonna join for body paint!!!!! which in hindsight i'm like. girl do you have any idea how insane you sound rn
• "thank you for having us dublin, it's been lovely" said with the most 'i'd rather be anywhere else than here rn' face and tone ever :/
• btw his little HA! was very <3<3<3 and at some point he was like scratching his head in such a cute way i almost forgot how mad at him i was (emphasis on almost)
• "just a trace....... just a trace....... just a traaaaaaceeeeeee....... just. a. trace. on your legs~ and on your arms~ and on your face........ your faceeeeee"
• when they left the stage before the encore the crowd was shouting "one more song" but all i wanted to hear was "miles, miles, miles fucking kane" because who knows maybe that would've shook them up and they'd spontaneously decide to call him on for the encore (incredibly delusional)
• hello you as the encore opener was fire, i'm so glad i got to hear it live AND with the strings too, it sounded just like the recorded version and you could hear the improvement in the live version so clearly compared to when they first debuted it; the mirrorball still hadn't dropped and since i haven't been watching many videos from the north american tour i was like ??? i thought it was maybe malfunctioning bc only the little one at the back was shining before but them BOOM the main girl dropped during hello you and it was crazy beautiful!!!!!
• "i bet that YOU look good on the dancefloor, dublin"
• at the end of the show he was blowing and catching kisses, they were bowing and waving to the crowd and that's when i realised it was my last time seeing them this tour and you could see the exact moment my heart cracked i was desperately hoping they'd never leave that stage </3
• it was an amazing night but it very much left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth - because, as i've been saying, the vibes felt so off and i don't even know why. i can't exactly point out what was wrong, because really we have no idea what goes on behind the scenes; and i'm not even talking about it through a milex lens or smth like that. i mean, i was absolutely disappointed that nothing happened - no sntm, no 505, nothing -, but when i say the vibes were off i don't mean it in a demon way. i'm talking about the band. they really looked like they didn't want to be there, probably because they're tired and burnt out and can't wait for the tour to be over so that they can have a much-needed break. they must be exhausted and i get that, i really do; but still. it was a bit disappointing and i hate that i can't fully put my finger on why it felt that way, what was wrong, why did everything feel so rushed and why the well-oiled machine feeling translated into 'we're gonna play this show so soullessly it's gonna fly by more quickly' but it really felt that way. also mind you, i'm not even saying this as the 'tumblr fan who follows every show they play and knows all their antics by heart so that's why she notices perfectly normal things no one else notices' (like i remember the discourse back when they played glastonbury, and that really made sense because ofc casual fans are not gonna notice everything we notice) - but no, i'm not doing this that way. because my brother, who's very much a casual fan who knows nothing about the lore or the usual way they play shows (he saw them with me in paris so he had some kind of basic for comparison but that's it) said THE EXACT SAME THING. he agreed that the vibes felt very off, he also had to listen to me angrily ranting about it all the way back to the hotel and once again he agreed that the show felt, to put it very simply, kinda weird.
• now speaking of miles not joining them... the fact that he removed sntm at the very last minute was one of the sussiest thing he's ever done because why would he even add it to the initial setlist only to remove it just before the first show. it literally doesn't make any sense but i'm choosing to believe there were some technical problems out of their control, no time to rehearse or something like that... they're still best friends and if they weren't okay they wouldn't even have asked miles to open for them. i do find it weird and stupid that they'd miss this opportunity and i'm so angry at them for being dumb and not doing anything with it (unless something happens tomorrow), i'm very much heartbroken and my mind was and still is wandering trying to find more or less rational or delusional reasons why they didn't do it. i was drowning in grief after the show and the day after because i simply couldn't wrap my head around it all, but that's on me for having expectations i guess. i know they're still best friends. they're also never beating the divorce allegations. the two things can and should coexist when you're in an obsessive codependent homoerotic friendship and you're constantly having filthy telepathic sex with each other
• someone please get them to therapy or lock them in a room and throw away the key until they talk and sort their shit out and it stinks of sloppy nasty make-up sex in there because at this point it feels like we're fucking intruding on their fucked up psychosexual games and i'm SO TIRED of being a child of divorce. please we know you know everyone knows you're obsessed with each other just stop being insane (barely acknowledging each other) and start being insane (having crazy gay sex again). i promise all your problems would be solved if you just fucked each other into oblivion like the good old days
• ANYWAYS. i'm still kinda sad and angry over the way the show unfolded and it's not really helping that it's dawning on me that there's only one show left and then they're gonna disappear for god knows how long. i still loved the show, don't get me wrong, and i'm very grateful i got to see them again before the end of the tour and also to see miles for the first time during the same night. i do feel very lucky and despite the fact that we got no tlsp reunion or 505, the fact that miles was opening for them after YEARS of this not happening is still very much history in the making. iconic in and of itself. i'm also happy i got to visit and fall in love with a new city, i'm missing dublin so much and i miss THEM so much and i'm feeling so sad and bittersweet and heartbroken and ugh. i swear i can't even explain it to the full and i can't believe the tour is almost over </3 but that's a thought for another post..........
• for now i just want to see what happens at the last show and enjoy it to the full because yes we might have complained about some stuff along the way (i know i just did it myself lmao) but it's been such an amazing and memorable tour i just wish it'd never end </3
#i don't even know what to say in the tags like. they got me speechless this time i guess i can only shut up#i'm gonna add some more thoughts if i manage to get them in a coherent written form but that's it for now#they're such fucking idiots but they're MY idiots and i'm afraid i love them too dearly#(is also still pissed at them and can't bear thinking about them too deply rn)#arctic monkeys#alex turner#miles kane#the car tour#dublin night 1#my show
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finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)
#myedits#kelly#dhestyn#ik i posted kel’s already but now i am posting both pictures together#i have read through the bios so many times atp that i don't even know if they make sense anymore#i cannot look at them again#i'm just gonna say they're good enough#i might change some stuff here & there but for now#i am over it lol#i'll probably do the rest of the characters eventually..........#maybe...........#but idk. i only really post the boys here so like. yea. yk.#plus i still have the mbz character page to do#which. that has like. so many characters on it. it's a daunting task#i hope the boys' pages are at least somewhat coherent. i tried to be concise & to the point. uh. idk if i was successful in that#but. n e way. i have a few edits & writing things i wanna work on so. character pages are moving to the back burner#i may or may not finally start writing the 90sAU#which btw ty guys for being so nice on that edit???? the comments & tags were all so sweet?????#i really liked that one so i'm glad y'all liked it too
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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)
In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.
They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....
The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.
But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing
Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels
#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically#(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once#but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig#which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman#in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department#anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip#but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well#as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up#looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important#which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it#and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's#brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it#in any way at all#but no#instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but#i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent#but all that to say#YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY#guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is#and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too#but i digress I'm sleepy#pocket talks to people#anon#* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag
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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts 👀
#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent#positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me#that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it#after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements#but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice#one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now#i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference#(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them#(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope#(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities#this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more#tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333#anyway goodnight#fl spoilers#chitchat
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