#i don't know if this is coherent still

[noahlivingston]

ok here's my Noah/Akio/Rachel proposal outline

Noah and Akio 100% had a thing during their murder days so their entire relationship is doused in this weird mixture of guilt and misplaced loyalty and internalized homophobia (IMO that last one is more on akios side bc look Noah has so much more on his plate that he's past that by now)

I'm working with the assumption that Akio is the father of Rachel's epilogue child and even if you assume they were together strictly to Further The Human Race I don't think Rachel would allow him to be a deadbeat dad. so theyre cosplaying as an expecting married couple when Noah gets revived in the epilogue

as a quick headcanon aside here I think they had a baby together because they were both raised Catholic

I have also decided that Repopulating The Earth was Rachel's idea and Akio kinda just went along with it bc he is at heart an extremely weird dude who can be very easily convinced of things

Noah and Min break up for being too mutually fucked up so Noah moves in w/ his buddy Akio and his totally not deranged baby mama and becomes their live-in nanny for their newborn

Rachel is obviously a requisite asshole to him at first but he's useful to have around so she chills out a little. by that point she also notices that Akio wants to fuck him and she decides she doesn't care as long as operation Repopulate The Earth is still on

like I think Rachel is probably a jealous person but her and Akio's relationship is already so screwy that she just decides to shrug it off

this puts Akio in the awkward position of being the husband in a 1950s Catholic family who wants to fuck the pool boy except the pool boy is deeply mentally ill, was just brought back from the dead, probably still thinks he's in the matrix, and he's like a week out from a murder spree

these guys are famously not very good decision makers so they go for it anyway, you the readers get to decide how that ends I am simply here to present you with options

in my mind Rachel and Noah never really get together even after living with each other and raising kids together for years, in fact they're wildly romantically incompatible, but crucially it is NOT a love triangle. this is not due to any amount of emotional maturity possessed by any one of them, it is purely because when Rachel decides she's joining the idgaf war she is WINNING the idgaf war and the other two got drafted.

that said Rachel and Noah do totally make out sometimes. for funzies.

crucial to understand here is that all three of them are basically playing house but the babyroll is a real life newborn. Rachel and Akio are having kids because that's what their parents did and that's what you're Supposed to do. Noah is with them because he needs to feel secure and it's easy to ignore his problems when he's juggling a newborn with sustenance farming for four people

like okay. they keep trying to frame things in terms of a pre apocalypse nuclear family even though that structure does not and cannot exist anymore. akio is the husband Rachel is the wife and they have a child (familiar family structure), Noah is the pool boy because he's around the family but he's not Procreating tm (deviant family structure but still a familiar pattern to them). they cannot under any circumstances acknowledge that anything going on here is abnormal by any means because that would mean having to confront why it's abnormal (guilt, trauma, the whole murder thing, the fact that they're bringing children into a world that is frankly not hospitable (guilt 2), Noah's entire thing generally)

also Noah and Rachel probably make lots of sister wives jokes about themselves. akio fucking HATES the sister wives jokes but the alternative is harem jokes and he hates those worse

[nenoname]

It's still interesting that TBoB called more attention to Stan's control over his mindscape (And if you go with the interpretation that the lost pages are partial truths that are heavily influenced by Bill, then he's the one insisting that only someone with training should be able to have that much control over the mind.)

Meanwhile we have a memory!Stan. Someone who apparently knows too much and is rather aware for being a simple memory.

From the Wheel of Shame, we know Bill was able dig up all kinds of dirt on Stan but... that wasn't why he was there in the first place, was it?

Bill couldn't find the code immediately despite a memory of Stan opening the safe being a few hours old at most and decided to have Mabel try find it for him (The original concept of the ep had it far more hidden but this was likely cut because of time constraints)

Ford did experiments on Stan's mind which likely meant using Project Mentem and actually looking around his mindscape, and his only reaction was to comment on his jokes-- despite what little we the audience know being enough to render us sobbing wrecks

(yes I refuse to shut up about this part cos the book's intro is extremely underrated)

Stan was able to replace his memories of Ford with the swingset instead and managed to hide Ford in his Bar Mitzvah memory. And that's not even mentioning the lack of visible Portal and Stan o' War which noticeably show up in Ford's dreamscape (the broken swingset manifesting anyway pains me tho)

He subconsciously has misdirects for his secrets that are both silly and manages to disturb everyone too

And while Bill-as-Soos being bored by the vending machine memory is a joke that's basically the crew's way of going "hey remember the thing way back in the first ep that's going to show up in the next one?" and in-universe appears to be Stan slipping up, it's interesting that they had Stan input the wrong code when it's consistent literally every other time its inputted (especially when it shows up correctly in the very next episode)

It's even possible that the safe code that Bill found could have been a misdirect too but we'll never know since the safe got blown open by dynamite.

Stan was able to buy time by making his mind blank despite being genuinely terrified when Bill enters his mind (to the point that he breaks character and uses his own voice to yell), and could conjure up his living room (in colour opposed to his mind's regular greyscale) to make sure Bill didn't have enough room to flee, slamming the door in his face before the effects of the memory gun kicked in.

(EDIT: Random door analysis here)

And maybe the twins eventually told him that Bill had already been inside his mind after their W3 reunion, but all we know was that his conscious self was left in the dark for ages and wasn't really aware of Bill until Weirdmageddon.

TBoB showing McGucket's dreamscape also brings up the idea of the effects of the memory gun manifesting differently to each person. To Stan's mindscape, the memory wipe manifests as blue flames which immediately brings to mind Bill's powers but it's a far lighter shade (maybe to more closely match the memory gun and its eventual fade to white?)

The end of TBoB and the website poem also firmly reminds us about Stan's connection to fire but there's also the question if Stan himself is actually aware of it...

[winterrbluess]

JJK spoilers

This chapter....THIS chapter has me sobbing a bucket like Yuji, he is so precious. His growth has astonished me so much. His introspection and the ability to step in other's shoes and sympathise with them (even Sukuna) is his greatest strength. His whole fight was to bring Megumi back, to save one person atleast and now not only he grew out of his cog mentality but is leaving the choice in Megumi's hands that it's fine if he wants to give up. For the first time someone tells Megumi it's fine to give up and not wanting to fight anymore or get stronger or fulfill any space or role. Yuji giving Megumi the agency to deal with his loss and trauma, to choose for himself...grieve and just end it all. It's so tragic yet beautiful with how Yuji is always there for Megumi and vice versa. And Megumi's monologue about wanting to enjoy the domesticity of life..God it's heartbreaking how he just wanted to...exist, to live like a 16 year old, safe and surrounded by his loved ones without the burden of being strongest in future on his shoulder.

This panel is so bittersweet...with it being directly parallel to Gojo one but with such stark contrast..Yuji is there for Megumi only..not an ally, not the strongest sorcerer of future but his friend.

[coddda]

Light's relationship with his father is such a heartbreaking multi-faceted tragedy to me I hate it so so so much.

Soichiro loves his son so much, and while he's certainly not a perfect father I know that he cares deeply about Light. He wants to prove Light's innocence so badly but he can't let go of the underlying doubt that he might really be Kira and it gnaws at him. He does not know that from the very beginning he was being used by Light, whether it was to obtain information about the investigation, or to get to L, or to strengthen the foundations of his own lie that he wasn't Kira, this entire time he was simply another resource. He'll hang onto this doubt for years, even after L is dead, even if he doesn't express it in the latter half of the series, until he himself is on his deathbed, with what he believes to be undeniable proof that Light isn't Kira. (It's a lie, of course.) He dies happy, but it's on the foundations of blissful ignorance. His own son brought him here, brought him to the point where he had to sacrifice half of his own remaining life span, to his own death march, and was still trying to use him even now to kill someone else, but he doesn't know that. Soichiro said that what was evil was the power to kill others, and that whoever used it was cursed. Light was that cursed man, of course, and he tried to bring that curse onto Soichiro too by making him kill in his last moments. Soichiro was happy regardless, because he didn't know. He'll never know. (In the manga/anime at least. More on that later).

Light loves his father but it's not enough to turn him away from the terrible decisions he's made, if anything it only fuels them. His idea of "justice" is a twisted model of what he parroted from Soichiro, and he uses his father as another pawn (and a powerful one at that) in his plans. If he can prove that Kira is justice then perhaps his father will no longer call Kira, and therefore Light, evil, so he just needs to ensure that Kira becomes justice, right? It's Light's own actions that land his own father in the hospital for a stress-induced heart attack and yet he says only a few minutes later that he's the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Even after Soichiro denounces Kira by calling him evil, even after he calls the Death Note's power evil, even after he unknowingly tells Light that he is cursed. When Soichiro dies Light is too deep in his own plans to actually properly process the fact that his own father is dying past what it means for his goals, but at the same time he still cares enough that after the fact he'll genuinely cry, only to brush it all away later. (Personally, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that Light's crying in that scene was genuine and I Will die on this hill). Soichiro had unknowingly denounced Light one last time just before his death, openly relieved that he "wasn't Kira after all", which also reveals that he has had doubts about Light this entire time, even after L died. By the time he's caught at the Yellow Box Warehouse Light will have denounced his father too, seeing him as someone who was made to be a fool, someone who was naive, even, too earnest for his own good. He won't realize that part of this description of his father might have applied to Light himself, back when this all started. Light takes after his father so much in so many ways already, so why not in this way too?

Ough. And honestly the other adaptations never miss out on this tragedy either, and I love them for that. (spoilers for the musical and 2006 live action movies I guess?)

In the musical we see Soichiro express his doubts and conflicts about who to believe, Light or L, if the son he raised really is a murderer, if everything he knows about him is just a lie. Like, there's an entire song about this, and you can tell how torn he is about it all, how badly he wants Light to be innocent but about how he also needs to face the truth no matter what it is, but at the end of it all he doesn't even get the answers he wants. At the end of the musical the only thing he finds is two corpses, Light's and L's, with no answers. No last words, no closure, only dead ends and a dead son and a grieving daughter. It's so awful I hate it here.

And the live action movie is fucking Insane. Like, wow. Okay. (Spoiler for the ending of Death Note The Last Name I guess) In the 2006 movies/novels Light writes Soichiro's name in the Death Note himself, and it's such an inconcievable move that it leaves even Misa shocked; Light tries to make Soichiro give him the Death Note for the last part of his plans, seeing his death as a "necessary sacrifice" (insert tangent essay about why I think 2006 live action movie Light is actually the most "coldhearted" Light Yagami, despite how infamous anime Light is). It doesn't work, and Soichiro does end up finding out that Light is Kira this time, and they have a confrontation, but he doesn't even sound truly hateful towards Light for it. He Never seems to outright hate Light for it, even after Light calls the whole confrontation a waste of time and instead tries to continue killing with the piece of the notebook in his watch, even after he tries to get Ryuk to kill everyone. When Ryuk inevitably writes Light's name and he collapses, Soichiro still reaches out for him and holds onto him as he's dying. Light literally dies in Soichiro's arms, still looking for the validation that he was right, that this wasn't all for nothing, that he was doing the good thing, trying to make Soichiro understand that he was trying to enact justice based on what he learned from him in the first place. Soichiro not only learns but sees for himself what his son has become, and Light dies in his arms leaving no closure for either of them. Soichiro will announce Light's death in L Change the WorLd on the news without saying his name, saying instead that it is only Kira who is dead, even though he and Light are one in the same. Sachiko and Sayu will never get to know the full truth about what happened to Light, instead Soichiro will lie and instead tell them: "Light was killed by Kira."

And then holy Shit the jdrama. If I write about it here this post is gonna literally double in length and also I don't really wanna spoil it but. Man. Man. If you watched it you know. Holy Shit dude I Cried.

It's the fact that, canonically, Soichiro will die oblivious to what Light has done, but even in the instances where he does find out, it doesn't make it any better, and it doesn't make him love Light any less, it just gives him more to grieve.

It's the fact that there isn't a single universe where Light doesn't use his father for his own gain, whether to gain information, or to try and control him with the Death Note, or make him write in the Death Note himself, and not a single time will he realize just how far he's strayed from Soichiro's ideals, and not a single time will he not forsake him for it by the end of the story.

It's the fact that, despite everything, Light will always refers to Soichiro as "dad/my dad" (informal) rather than "father/my father", even after he has been "denounced" (and this is true in every language that Death Note has been translated in, as far as I could find. Man, isn't that so cool! :) <- Through tears).

Anyways that's what I've been thinking of how's your guys' days going

[waitineedaname]

okay I've finished making my big spreadsheet of how mp100 characters refer to each other! some thoughts on this under the cut because it got long

the Kageyama brothers are very polite in how they refer to people. their parents must have really instilled etiquette into them bc no one else is as consistent about using polite honorifics/titles as they are. the only people Mob doesn't give an honorific/title are his brother and Dimple, and the only people Ritsu doesn't give an honorific are Dimple and Shou, who he just calls "Suzuki"

Reigen, on the other hand, is pretty inconsistent and casual with his use of honorifics. he says "Mob-kun" a couple times and "Ritsu-kun" once, but usually they're just Mob and Ritsu (or "Mob's brother" lmao). the only honorific he consistently uses is "Tome-chan"

it's infrequent, but both Reigen and Dimple refer to Mob as "my boy" at some point :') he's their boy!

Ritsu doesn't refer to the Awakening Lab kids at all until he asks their names after being kidnapped lmao the only exception is when he calls out to the older Shiratori brother after the younger one is taken away and he calls him "Shiratori-kun." considering the fact that after asking their names, he refers to both of them as Daichi-kun and Kaito-kun, I think there was absolutely a moment when everyone was freaking out about the Shiratori brothers where he was like "ohhhhh that's his name"

also he switches from "Onigawara-san" to "Onigawara-senpai" when he realizes he's friends with his brother lmao fakeass

even though Mob starts calling Teru "Hanazawa-kun" as soon as they exchange names, Teru doesn't give him the honorific until they decide to raid Claw together. I guess that's the point when he decides they're friendly enough for it? he calls Ritsu "brother-kun" as soon as he realizes they're related and never refers to him by his actual name

everyone calls Teru some variation on his nickname EXCEPT Mob and Dimple. Dimple actually only calls him "brat" and "that guy" for a while until he managed to track him down again during the alleyway incident, which I realized is because he was exorcised before learning Teru's name lskdjflkdsf from the Seventh Division arc onwards, he just calls him "Hanazawa"

I love that Dimple tries to refer to the brothers with cutesy nicknames and both of them are like "if you do that again I'm killing you all the way dead" and he's like "understood." and then refers to them by given name from then on lmao

Teru refers to Dimple as "Dimple-kun" and Tome calls him "Dimple-chan," both of which are SO funny to me because he's way older than them. rude as hell, this evil spirit deserves no respect

Shou doesn't use honorifics or titles for ANYONE. Ritsu is just Ritsu, the Ultimate 5 are all their last names, his dad is just Pops. he also exclusively refers to Mob as "Ritsu's brother" dkfjldskfj

Serizawa alternates between "Shigeo-kun" and "Kageyama-kun" with no real rhyme or reason to it. just seems to depend on his mood I guess

[italyveneziano]

Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"

[oneshotgremlin]

Up and Down

Thoughts on how beings generally perceive their world one spatial dimension lower than the dimensionality of the space they inhabit:

In the flatlands, the way people perceive the world around them is through lines, and so visual receptors HAVE to be on the edges of their shapes

Otherwise by all accounts the person would be effectively blind

So Mrs.Red and Mr.Blue have this strange yellow boy

Who appears to be born with no eyes

(It’s directly in his center, but without tests and doctors nobody can see it)

And for all intents and purposes, the boy is blind

He has to feel his way around buildings and people (in his hand a black cane that his parents bought to aid him)

And he doesn’t know what his parents look like, and only knows them by their voice as they guide him

They love him all the same, regardless

(Meanwhile, he stares up at the infinite expanse of the night sky. But the thing about infinity is that it makes where you stand so infinitesimally tiny in comparison, and no matter how far you run side to side the stars do not move an inch for you. And if they��re all someone sees, the only logical conclusion that can be drawn is that where they are is unspeakably, claustrophobically small)

(It doesn’t matter if the kids at school bully him and the adults look at him with pity and disdain that he can’t even see, because don’t they know how SMALL they are? Don’t they know how small EVERYTHING is?)

And so, with years and years and nowhere else to go, Bill reaches UP

(And no-one else has tried before, because why would they? There is no up or down to conceive, only forwards and backwards and left and right.)

It takes unimaginable amounts of energy to punch a rift into a dimension. In a time and space unmeasurably far away, a six fingered man and his five fingered twin would learn that lesson well

In the flatlands, it’s less of an interdimensional portal looming ominously in a metal room and more of a calculation

l is for length. w is for width. h is for height

And like a computer told to divide by zero, everything falls apart

Did you know that when energetic particles that erupt from the stars collide with a sufficiently nitrogen rich atmosphere, it produces the color blue?

Did you know the only reason the flatlanders didn’t drift off into the freezing cold yet boiling hot void of space, despite not having a planet with the volume and mass needed to produce a gravitational field, is their dimension’s lack of third dimensionality?

Like insects pinned underneath glass, yet the glass protected their corpses from falling apart?

They scream. He cries. He laughs. They die.

It’s an old saying: “When gravity falls and earth becomes sky beware the beast with just one eye”

And when little Billy looks away from the stars, looks down to finally see his tiny, minuscule home

For the first and last time, he sees a blue triangle with a hat, and a red triangle with a bow.

[levemetal]

I am so late, and I couldn't even finish shit in time, so instead have this watercolor I made for a tgcf art contest that I've been itching to upload. They have my whole heart your honor

[antiadvil]

We're not a commercial for everyone else

We go out for coffee and keep it to ourselves

We make little homes out of three star hotels

I know what you're feeling 'cause I feel it as well

[mysteriousbeetle]

thinking about how helena and dick kind of mirror each other. they're a similar age, their families were killed tragically before their eyes–spurring on their life long quests for justice, they both can be very determined. the key difference between them is that dick operated as a vigilante with a pretty extensive support system from a young age while helena's is more limited requiring her more so to forge her own path.

i think the nightwing/huntress comic discusses this pretty well in regards to their respective relationships with the bat family. there's a sort of bat family in-group that dick is a part of and helena is not. that's probably because helena has had to find her way as a vigilante without the guidance of batman. so the conclusions she comes to about what must be done can be pretty different in a way that can create a rift between her and them.

the affects of the disparity in the level of support each of them has can also be seen with their respective relationships with teams. dick has the opportunity to create a team with his peers and so together they form the teen titans. meanwhile, helena ends up being manipulated multiple times into joining teams. the community dick has allows him to help create a team on his own, while helena's isolation leaves her more susceptible to being manipulated. helena is able to build more of a support system later on in her vigilante career with the birds of prey but ultimately their paths deeply shaped them both.

[housepilled]

season 1 isn't my favorite season or anything, but it has my absolute favorite portrayal of house by far. he goes to patients' lacrosse games, does their prenatal care, talks with and follows up with them when it's completely narratively unnecessary (but in a good way; i just couldn't think of a less pejorative description). he's even kinder to his team. and best of all, he explains things — takes the time to argue for a risky treatment and has a clear basis for treating rather than testing. he's more grounded. he still does all this later in the series, of course, but as the seasons go on he seems more and more ashamed of his kindness and humanity. i think as the show progresses, it gets too used to itself, used to the fact that house just says rude things and does risky treatments because that's just "who he is". i am totally willing to make the argument that he gets flanderized in a way.

while i love later-seasons house, don't get me wrong, my favorite is always going to be the house who is the most grounded in reality. he's still scared of it, but he acts like a human. and that is who house really is to me — not the layers of sarcasm, bigotry, outlandish subplots and unrealistic procedure, but the guy who grumbles and groans about doing his job but secretly loves it and has the show making efforts to expose that secret. so yeah season 1 house supremacy

[amethystina]

hello dear, hope you're doing well physically & mentally. lots of hugs for you!

i've been wondering about the physical touch in Gahan's dynamic especially. we all know how much physical abuse Yohan has gone through in his childhood, the kidnapping by Sunah, him willingly explode a whole ass room with bombs with him inside it too but pushing away his loved one out.

now compare to Gaon. this Bambi has better experience with physical touch in his life seeing as how he's comfortable leaning to Soohyun seeking comfort while grieving for the loss of his parents. reaching out to Yohan so easily when he sees Yohan woke up from a nightmare. how he reaches for Kkomi and put her on his lap, the lovely and respectful interaction with Elijah.

I always have this thought in my head that it would be tricky for them to have this physical touch without one misunderstood the meaning of one's action. personally i bounced back and forth of the idea Yohan can manipulate and charm ppl with his sex prowess. just because he knows being seduction and sex goes hand in hand with manipulation. It does seem like Yohan can be the type to do especially that the way he gazes at Gaon & Sunah. But we all know he has brother complex lol, while with Sunah he can get the rush of feeling powerful having someone around his level to play with. Either that idea or I think Yohan never has the chance to explore sex bcs it's too much physical touches and too much emotional investment in such a short period of time. Perhaps he can have sex while his sex partner is tied up, not touching Yohan but he's the one who has control to touch them, hence why the kinky dom Yohan exist. So i think domestic touches will be like taming stray or feral creatures. It would take a long time and patience on both sides to be in the safe space and trust.

now.. wdyt Gahan would be in if they were already in a romantic relationship. How would they interact? Who would initiate what? What difference would it be for them in domestic/ innocent interactions and in bed? I would like to know your thoughts on this one. I wish I can pour my detailed thoughts for this but i'm afraid to scare you off with my long-ass paragraphs hahaha it's been a while since I have conversations analyzing character's personality and their depths, just geeking out about them and it can be intense and intimidating for people if I pour all my thoughts out for these shit lol

I wish you well! Take your time on your recovery & in writing, we'll always be here for you!

I'm currently in pain from shoveling too much snow but, other than that, I'm pretty okay. Thank you for asking 💜

Physical touch is a very fascinating subject when it comes to these two, isn't it? Probably because there's so much tension between them.

Anyhow! I actually think that Yo Han has had a lot of sex but, like, only with the right people? He may have been abused as a child (and definitely has trauma and trust issues because of it) but he's also a very clever and intuitive man. And he'd know how to find partners he can have casual, enthusiastic, and fun sex with. Like, some random woman or man he meets at a bar who thinks he's hot? Definitely. Some random woman or man he meets in a professional setting who is clearly trying to gain something from having sex with him? Absolutely not.

Having sex is a very intimate act in some ways, but exactly how intimate depends a lot on the partner, the setting, and the circumstances. Yo Han would only go for people he's not feeling threatened by or knows he can control without exerting too much effort. But I also think he'd enjoy the challenge of wooing people. Like, how fast can he make this woman shed her clothes? What should he say to make this man swoon? Flirting would be a game for him, too, but "winning" just means he and the other person get to have sex so it's actually pretty harmless.

And I think he'd be fine doing it with strangers and letting them touch him. Because he doesn't actually seem averse to touch in the drama? Unused to it, yes — especially the tender kind — but not scared of or uncomfortable with it. He puts himself and his body through a lot, yes, but never in a reckless or self-destructive way. More often than not, he knows exactly what the risks are and deems them worth whatever payoff comes at the end (unlike Ga On who just... throws himself into danger without much thought).

One of the few (if not the only time) Yo Han seems genuinely scared of physical touch is when Ga On tries to comfort him after his nightmare. Which says a lot, I think. He's more scared of a touch meant to soothe than one meant to hurt, since he doesn't want to show weakness. He doesn't know how he will react to a touch like that and would therefore rather push it away.

But he doesn't even flinch when Sun Ah raises a hand to slap him, which is definitely a situation where some (but not all) who have been abused in the past would react. So, clearly, he's not as traumatised as he could have been, or has learned to control it enough for it not to show too much. To me, Yo Han doesn't seem averse to casual touching and does it quite a lot himself, like towing Ga On around at the gala, lightly patting Lawyer Ko's arm, offering his arm to Jin Joo at the other gala etc.

And I personally don't think there will be all that many misunderstandings between him and Ga On as to what a certain touch means? They both seem way too smart for that? There might still be general misunderstandings, of course, but not when it comes to that. If nothing else, the intent behind touches is something Yo Han had to learn long ago because you can't manipulate people only using sexual prowess. He needs more than one method and that means recognising what different touches mean, when to give them etc.

My personal headcanon for Yo Han is that he has no trouble using his sex appeal to manipulate when appropriate, but his strength lies in how he adapts to the situation, sometimes being kind and understanding, sometimes being firm and commanding, and, sometimes, being flirty and sensual.

The way he prefers to have sex is for fun, though, and he enjoys it a lot with the right people. But he'd never do it if he felt uncomfortable or threatened by his partner, and he's good enough at reading people that he'd know the other person's intentions long before the actual sex happens. So, for example, I don't think he'd ever want to have sex with Sun Ah even if he could tie her up. He'd be too suspicious to actually enjoy it xD

To me, Yo Han is the kind of man who has a lot of trauma, but has also worked a lot on overcoming said trauma. If he did so in a healthy way I will leave unsaid, but I don't think he'd allow himself to be wary of other people's touch. I think Yo Han would be frustrated by his own limitations if he could only have sex with people while they're tied up, simply because he's uncomfortable with them touching him. That's too big of a weakness — something someone could exploit. And he'd train that out of himself as soon as possible. His whole thing is that he's unshakeable and impenetrable and that's a choice — something he's putting effort into being. And so I, personally, can't see him allowing himself to have that kind of "flaw."

As a friend of mine said: "He's a man even more in control of himself than he is others."

That said, I think he enjoys tying people up because it gives him added control and makes it more fun to play with his victims partners. So I'm all for Dom!Yo Han — he is one in every fic I've written so far — I just think he does that because he likes it, not because it's the only way he can have sex.

And, to be entirely honest with you? I don't think Yo Han needs to tie people up in order to control them in the bedroom. I'm pretty sure that man can make his partners do pretty much anything he wants them to, without using a single tool or restraint. Because that is the kind of Dom he is.

ANYHOW. To your questions! (boy did I get derailed there for a while)

Ga On is definitely the cuddly one. Like, once he gets comfortable, he's the one who gives and asks for hugs, will walk up behind Yo Han and wrap his arms around him, snuggle up on the couch, put his head in Yo Han's lap etc. Because I definitely agree with you that the casual, domestic touches will be more difficult for Yo Han. He's used to giving some of them, like pats on the shoulder, a supportive hand, fixing Ga On's clothes — practical things. But the ones that are just because? Clearly, that's out of his wheelhouse and he's too prideful to ask for them.

Again, not because he's broken, scared, or doesn't understand them, but simply because he's not used to them. And he doesn't like feeling insecure or appearing weak, so he wouldn't risk asking and making a mistake.

So it'll fall upon Ga On to offer them, which he of course does. He's a pretty physical person with the people he trusts, provided that politeness and such allows it. Like, clearly, one of the reasons why Ga On doesn't touch Yo Han much in the drama is due to the workplace hierarchy, the fact that Yo Han is older (and it's considered rude to touch someone older without their permission), and just Yo Han's overall... Yo Han-ness. But once Ga On gets free rein?

Yo Han won't know what hit him.

But it'll take time for them to get used to it, yes. Like, just teaching Yo Han how to return casual hugs that aren't in a life-or-death situation is going to take a while. But he'll get used to it eventually and while I don't think he'll ever be the one to initiate certain things — like the more cuddly hugs that might make him look clingy — he'd always reciprocate when Ga On does.

Yo Han is a little too prideful to ask for cuddles, but he'll graciously agree to them when Ga On asks him to give them.

(He and Komi have that in common, I guess)

As for sex, that depends? I think they can both initiate it, but Yo Han enjoys it more when Ga On does so, just because he likes seeing Ga On horny and desperate xD Yo Han is definitely the one in charge, though. That's not to say that Ga On can't snatch control from him or throw him off-balance from time to time, but probably only during brief moments when he's being particularly cheeky and bratty. I think they both enjoy the push-and-pull — the fact that Ga On challenges Yo Han is a part of the thrill — but are more comfortable when Yo Han is in control.

Especially since Yo Han is very good at it.

All that said, I do think — and this might be an unpopular and scandalous opinion — that Yo Han could, eventually, let Ga On top him. But we're talking years down the line, when they're so comfortable with each other that there are no secrets or doubts. Because, yes, Yo Han is a man who prides himself on having control but, eventually, he's also going to realise that having control and having power isn't necessarily the same thing. And being in charge and having control isn't necessarily the same thing, either. Ga On has a tremendous amount of power over Yo Han despite not being in charge or in control the majority of the time.

I mean, there's a reason why they say that the sub is the one with the real power since they're the ones willingly handing it over to someone else. And if they can give it, they can also revoke that privilege — and there is absolutely nothing the Dom can do about that. In that situation, the Dom is, quite literally, powerless.

And I think, especially as he gets older and softer, Yo Han would realize that trusting Ga On to top him is, in fact, a sign of his own strength. And I don't mean that in a "real men know how to bottom" kind of way. But in a "I love this man and I trust him and myself enough to let him have this power over me because that, in itself, means I have power."

But, again, that's several years into their relationship and 99,9% of the time, Yo Han is the one topping. But, every once in a while, Ga On can be the one in charge. As a treat.

... I may have gotten off track again.

But I'd say that's about the gist of it? There are, of course, more specific examples and details, too.

Yo Han is definitely the one doing most of the dirty talk, but Ga On will not hesitate to use his doe-eyes to his advantage and say the most kinky, outrageous things sometimes, just for the pleasure of watching Yo Han bluescreen. I also think that Yo Han will develop a habit of burrowing his nose in Ga On's hair when they're hugging/cuddling. And, as I've mentioned in a previous post, Yo Han is the little spoon 90% of the time. I also think that Ga On is going to be pretty shy and prudish when it comes to talking about sex and anything relating to it (at least at the beginning), but kinky as fuck when it comes to the actual acts. Like, he can't say "cock" without wincing, but he'll gladly let Yo Han tie him up and fuck him so roughly and thoroughly he's covered in bruises afterwards.

I really could go on but then we'd be here forever and I have work tomorrow x'D

So I'm hoping you got something out of this long rant! Thank you so much for the ask! I admit that I don't often spend time thinking about fictional characters' sex lives, but I apparently have a lot of opinions regardless. Though, to be honest, I think Yo Han and Ga On is the couple where I've had to think about it the most, since physical closeness (of both the sexual and more innocent kind) is extremely important for their dynamic. So yeah.

Take care, darling! 💜

[y-rhywbeth2]

I have questions about the Weave, and I thought you might know.

Since not all magic comes from Mystra (warlocks, sorcerers who get their magic from say, the Shadow Weave and the Feywild), do the magic casters who get their abilities from other sources use the Weave or no, since it’s “hers”? For example. If I had a Wild Magic sorcerer, or a Shadow Magic Sorcerer, are they like. Always manipulating the Shadow Weave or whatever the Feywild has, or are they “borrowing” use of Mystra’s Weave when they’re on the material plane/toril/etc since she sort of rules the roost in these areas? And, if she wanted these sorcerers, or warlocks I suppose, to be not able to do magic, would she be able to stop them if their magic doesn’t come from her? I guess the same might go for clerics, since their powers come from their own gods, which isn’t always Mystra, so I don’t know if that’s Weave-based or not.

I’m sorry if this is difficult to parse, these were falling asleep questions that I wanted to ask before I forgot. Also I really appreciate your lore dumps and things they’re super helpful and interesting.

With the sole exception of Shadow Magic, all magic on Toril comes from/relies on the Weave/Mystra: magic + the Weave, and Mystra are one and the same. As I recall Gale saying, Mystra is magic.

Different classes simply access the Weave differently. The Weave is a sort of gateway/safety barrier maintained by Mystra to keep magic anchored and prevent raw magic breaking lose and uncontrolled (wild magic) or becoming unreachable (dead magic). Spellcasters basically build roads through the Weave in order to reach, channel and shape that raw magic.

Arcane magic is "the Art": For sorcerers magic is an innate part of them, and through trial and error (and sometimes education) they build their own personal routes of access. Wild magic sorcerers are still trying to cast spells as normal, there's just a very high chance of things going haywire. Wild magic utilises the areas where the Weave is damaged; it still uses it and the Weave must exist for Wild Magic to exist, if the Weave is completely absent then the raw magic is inaccessible and you get Dead Magic zones where magic isn't possible at all. An analogy that's given for warlocks is that their patron basically gives them a magic GPS so that they can find a path through the Weave using a road set up by the patron. Wizards and Bards build their roads through study (which is more academia and scientific method like for wizards, and usually more prose/verse/music theory-esque for Bards)

Divine magic, as used by clerics, druids, paladins, rangers and etc, is "Power": Mortal reaches out via prayer, god reaches back, and the path in the Weave is formed that way. While this power is the power of the deity itself, implanted with instructions on "how to use" into the worshipper's brain, it still gets into their brain via the Weave, and so gods and worshippers must go through Mystra as an intermediate/conduit.

Spellcasters from other worlds who come to Toril must use the Weave while they are there. Torilian spellcasters who go planewalking are subject to the magic systems/rules that govern wherever they're going.

Mystra can and will destroy your roads or ban your access to them - and would genuinely love to ban access to evil deities and people who want to use magic to harm others - but policing single mortal on Toril is a bit of a pain in the ass, and she's also limited by the terms of her employment contract as goddess of magic.

Mystra, as the manifestation of the Weave, decides who can draw upon it and who is barred from accessing it. Deciding is somewhat taxing to her, for every attempted use of the Weave by the target of this ability draws her attention and some small bit of her power, but for a mortal (or even a hun- dred mortals) doing so, this distraction is trivial to the deity. Such a punishment is normally reserved for someone who has been abusive of magic, trying to inflict great harm to magic itself (such as by intentionally creating areas of wild or dead magic), or researching spells of mass destruc- tion, such as many of those known in Imaskar, Narfell, Netheril, and Raumathar. Such a being cannot access the power of the Weave, cannot cast spells or use spell comple- tion or spell trigger items or activate spell-like or supernat- ural abilities. However, magic and its effects can still harm them, and such beings typically are slain by their rivals or angry commoners for their cruel and mad works. Mystra can also bar a deity from accessing the Weave, which would prevent the deity from using magic while in Faerûn but not while the deity was on another plane where the Weave does not exist, such as any of the planar homes of the deities. Such an act is very draining to her, and she only does it to reduce the power of a deity intervening directly in Faerûn. She cannot block a deity’s ability to grant spells to wor- shipers without negating the ability of each worshiper to draw on the Weave. In addition to being time-consuming to locate each of the target deity’s followers and sever their individual connections to the Weave, such an act would greatly upset the balance of power between the deities, angering Lord Ao. - Magic of Faerûn

Mystra has also closed off all and any access to Netherese High Magic, which is clearly too powerful to trust such hubristic creatures as mages with. You will stay within the power cap of 9th level spells, and you will like it.

The two areas of magic outside of her control are: Psionics, apparently (although that's not what it's called on Toril. It's better known as "mind magic" colloquially, "metaphsychics" to academics, and "mindfire" to mages (or the "Invisible Art", to Duergar). Sources disagree here. Some will tell you that Psionics are something other: and others will say that they still tap into the Weave but for some reason Mystra has zero influence over it, although it's been suggested that this is more because Mystra is "too busy with all the arcane shenanigans!", and thus far has only kept a careful side eye on it. She can and will still slap you down if you start threatening the stability of the Weave/the health of the world.

Where the Weave is the tapestry of all reality, governed by Mystra, the Shadow Weave is a copy made by Shar using the gaps between the threads of the true Weave: absolute nonexistence. Shar's end goal is to spread use of the Shadow Weave until it's used more than the Weave, and then take Mystra's place as goddess of magic. Ultimately though, while the Shadow Weave is very good at illusion, enchantment, necromancy and etc it comes with a lot more limitations and drawbacks: for example it can't replicate any spells that create light and heat. Also channelling it is a traumatic experience, and most users end up converting to Shar, because at least then she does her thing and numbs them to the suffering using her "gift" causes. As the Shadow Weave is not part of Mystra, she has no way of knowing if somebody is using it or cutting them off.

That said, apparently the Shadow Weave still relies on the Weave to exist and function. :

The Shadow Weave is an alternative to the Weave crafted by Shar that literally rides atop the Weave; it is an echo of the Weave and can't survive without it. - Ed Greenwood

Ultimately, there is no real way to completely get around needing Mystra if you want to use magic on Toril.

[sun-marie]

..... is this a safe space to admit i kinda really don't like that lucanis used to have a crush on viago

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[chippedshake]

i'm so so sick of having to defend my sexuality. of whether love exists without sex being a genuine question people ask, of my class treating asexual people like they're from another planet. like, i try. someone says that biologically speaking, asexuality is unnatural because reproduction and shit and i try to play along. i try to act like that isn't what literally everyone says, because maybe if i let them be bigoted for a while, they'll be normal once it's out of their system. but i'm just so tired of it.

i wear a pride bracelet everywhere, i wear aro and ace rings. i live in a relatively safe environment where i can be proud of my identity. but when asexuality comes up i still hide the bracelet and pretend like i'm not ace because people are such assholes.

just because someone doesn't enjoy the same things as you doesn't mean that they can't exist happily. it doesn't mean you have to act disgusted by their existence. "can they hold hands????" "but if there isn't that spark there, then it's just like friendship" have all your romantic experiences been so emotionally pathetic that the only thing to make it stick out from a vague acquaintance is sex? is your life oriented purely towards an animalistic, carnal action?

the way even the teacher - someone i had admired until now - played along, treated people being disgusted by asexuality the same way she had treated them not understanding a complicated word. telling me that ace people shouldn't factor into my comprehension of love because they're just a minority. fuck you. fuck all of you.

fuck you for making me scared to come out. fuck you for making me feel broken. fuck you for making me feel unlovable.