#i don't know if i'll make any changes to this later on

[woso-dreamzzz]

Kidnapped IV

Fridolina Rolfö x Teen!Reader

Summary: You visit your older sister, Frido

Frido grins as you step into arrivals.

You've gotten a bit taller in the months that she's not seen you, sprouting up like a weed until you're the long and lanky person that stands before her now.

"Hey, you," She says fondly, tugging on a stray lock of your hair.

"Hey, Frido," You say in response, tugging your suitcase behind you just as your sister sweeps you into a hug.

"How is school?" She asks," And the family? And what about your friends? Are they all good? Oh! And how is your handball going because-"

You laugh, knocking your shoulder against Frido's with a grin.

"I can't answer your questions if you keep asking them one after another."

Frido glances down at you.

You're barely sixteen but still nearly reaching her height, nothing like the tiny little baby she'd once held in her arms all those years ago. You're yet to fully grow into your lanky limbs but Frido can still see the faint outline of the small muscles underneath the baggy clothes you've worn for the plane journey.

She can't imagine that they'll remain that small for long, if what your parents have told her about your handball training has been true and your attempt to get onto the Swedish Olympic Youth Team is successful.

"What?" You ask," Why are you looking at me like that?"

Frido laughs, ruffling your hair fondly before grabbing your suitcase. "No reason," She says," I can't just look at my little sister?"

"You're being weird."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

Frido pokes you in the shoulder. "Is that anyway to talk to the person that's buying you dinner tonight?"

You grin, more of a half smirk than anything else. "It depends."

"On?"

"On if I'm choosing dinner or you're choosing."

"Be nice to me on the way home and I'll let you choose."

Your room is as you left it the last time you came to visit Frido with a stack of books up on the shelf, a blanket thrown over the little reading nook in the corner and one of your handball trophies on the bedside table.

"I changed the sheets and stuff," Frido tells you as she unpacks your clothes into the wardrobe," And I put some new snacks in your drawers. I know you like to snack in the middle of the night. Your old ones went out of date."

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"But I wanted to."

Frido draws you closer to her. Almost six months ago, she could rest her chin on the top of your head but now it's more of an awkward angle because of your growth spurt.

"I'm just trying to make you comfortable," She teases," Because our parents sent me your gym routine. The life of a student athlete. You don't get a break even when you're on holiday."

You grin. "I'm just making sure I'm a better athlete than you."

"You can't compare football to handball. They're completely different sports."

You grin. "And yet I'm still outdoing you."

"For now," Frido says," We'll get to the gym and I'll show you that I've still got it."

"Yeah, right, old woman," You laugh," I can run rings around you."

"We'll see."

Frido, for her own peace of mind and so no one else sees, bans you from posting your triumph on the running machine on your social media later that day.

"You should have seen me in my prime," Frido says that evening as she eats dinner out of a box and pokes you in the leg with her toe.

You're on the other side of the sofa with your own box of food, grinning over at your sister as she pokes at you again.

"You wouldn't have been able to keep up," Frido continues," You'll see. Watch any of my highlight reels."

"I don't need to," You say with a grin," Why don't you watch some of mine?"

Frido flicks a piece of food at you and you smugly catch it in your mouth.

"Is it still the plan to quit?" She asks," When you're older?"

You groan, throwing your head back to look up at the light. "Did Mama and Papa put you up to this?"

"Don't deflect," Frido says," You can go far in handball, you know. You've got the talent."

"I don't know," You say after a long stretch of silence," I...I just don't want handball to be my everything, you know? I just...I don't know how feasible it is to have two jobs at once if I'm being an athlete."

"You're too smart for me," Frido says simply," So I don't know either but I know that if you're really set on it then you'll find a way to make it work."

"Really?"

Frido laughs. "Of course. You're smarter than people give you credit for. I mean, you managed to track down that guy that tried to steal Mapi and Ingrid's cats and you weren't even in the country for a week. You'll work it out."

"You think so."

Frido reaches forward to ruffle your hair. "I know so. Now, how about you grab that menu over there and we'll have a look about ordering dessert too?"

[onyourj-uls]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ happy birthday, my love

pairing: wonbin x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: +18 (minors dni), nipple play, oral (f), unprotected sex (don't do it!!).

wc: 1.3k

note: this is the first time i write something a bit more explicit, i had been writing other things like that but they don't quite convince me haha, you'll probably see them later (or not, idk) but i'll be working on it! btw: happy birthday to my handsome doll!! <3

i usually write this kind of stuff when i'm about to sleep, so there are probably grammar mistakes or sometimes my keyboard changes some words because it's set in spanish. if you notice any , let me know please!!!! lol

from early on, chaos reigned in your head.

everything had to be perfect.

with the whole riize, we had arranged to surprise wonbin in a beautiful private garden, decorated with warm lights, white flowers and a long table with a buffet of his favorite dishes. the idea was to do something intimate, meaningful and special, something that would show him how much we love and appreciate him.

but, like everything in life, things didn't go so smoothly.

the cake almost fell over when it was delivered, the decorations were delayed because the company was late, and the projector where we wanted to show him a video with messages from everyone was almost useless. your stress level was through the roof, but you couldn't give up, meanwhile, wonbin was still in the music studio, unsuspecting. sungchan played his role perfectly, telling him that he had to go to an address for a “meeting” and telling the other guys to make it sound more credible.

despite the inconveniences, everything was ready on time. the table looked beautiful, the lighting created a warm atmosphere and all riize were excited, but you... you were nervous on another level. your heart was pounding because you didn't know how you were going to react. and then, the moment came.

minutes that seemed like forever passed until, finally, wonbin arrived.

he stood static.

his big bobba eyes opened a little wider, his mouth half-opened, and his expression went from surprise to disbelief.

“you... did you do this?” he asked in the softest voice in the world, still in shock.

and in that instant, you understood.

he thought you were upset.

the day before, you'd had a small argument, nothing serious, but enough to make the “happy birthday” message you sent him in the morning sounds rude. because of that, he never imagined you would prepare this for him.

his lips trembled slightly, and within seconds, tears began to pool in his big eyes.

your heart melted.

you ran to him, hugged him with all your might and, without thinking, kissed his plump lips tenderly.

“happy birthday, my love.”

he hugged you tight, hiding his face in your neck, clinging to you as if he never wanted to let go.

“i can't believe you did all this... i don't deserve it.”

“of course you deserve it, bin.” you stroked his cheek and saw his eyes sparkle with excitement.

the riize guys came over to congratulate him, patting him on the back, hugging him and joking with him. excitement turned to laughter and joy, and we spent our time enjoying the buffet, sharing an amazing moment.

every time you looked at him, his sparkling little eyes would return a silent “thank you”.

and all night long, he didn't let go of your hand for a single second.

🌼🌼🌼

after a day full of emotions, you came back home together. wonbin was still holding your hand entwined in his, as if he was afraid you were going to fade away.

“you keep surprising me,” he murmured as he plopped down on the couch, still moved.

you sat down next to him and pulled out a small box wrapped in black paper with a gold ribbon.

“still missing your birthday present.”

he looked at you tenderly, taking the box carefully.

“you already gave me the best present in the world.”

“this one is different.”

his eyes softened with curiosity as he untied the bow and opened the box.

inside the box was a watch he had wanted for months, he had never told you he wanted it, but once he left some windows on his computer looking for that watch, apparently it was almost always out of stock, so you set yourself the challenge of buying it, and was it odyssey to get it.

he was silent for a moment, admiring it with a soft smile, impressed, but instead of saying something, his eyes lifted to meet yours, full of emotion, gratitude and something else... something deeper.

“how did you know i wanted it, i... i mean... come here” he murmured softly, tugging gently on your wrist until you ended up sitting on his legs, our faces inches apart.

his hand went up to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours in a slow kiss, full of tenderness.

but soon, that gentleness turned into something more intense.

the kiss deepened, his tongue began to play with yours, his lips began to move with more need, and his hands slid around your waist, drawing you closer to him. your fingers tangled in his hair, feeling his breathing grow heavier against your lips.

you could feel his pent-up desire in every touch, in how his body sought you out, leaving no room to pull away. each kiss became more demanding, more desperate, as if he wanted to show you with every touch how much this moment meant to him.

“i love you,” he whispered against your mouth before kissing you again, deeper, more intensely.

“i love you,” he repeated, his voice trembling, as his hands roamed every corner of your skin with devotion.

began to unbutton your blouse, button by button, with infinite patience, in contrast, your movements were evidently a little more accelerated, which caused him to let out a small laugh.

“calm down love, we have the whole night to ourselves” he whispered before bringing one of his warm hands up to your breast.

you began to rub yourself on his lap, after the stress of the whole day, you finally felt like you could let yourself go. his gentle caresses were torturing you, unclasping your bra, he took one of your sensitive and needy nipples into his mouth, increasing and decreasing the rhythm of his tongue while with the other one he swirled it with his fingers.

unable to wait any longer and with great difficulty because the pleasure prevented you from acting consciously, you took off his shirt, then proceeded to unbutton and release his hard erection, caressing his pink mushroom head with the tips of your fingers, then making a quick back and forth motion along its length.

wonbin began to let out small, soft moans that drove you crazy, without expecting it, he lifted you off his lap, pulling down his pants along with his underwear quickly and proceeded to do the same with your skirt, leaving only your panties on, he sat back down on the couch, bringing your heat close to his lips, running his fingers torturously through your still covered folds.

"so wet, so needy of me" he whispered sending a shiver through your entire body. when suddenly, he pulled off your panties and began to devour you just like he knew how to do it, you were unable to stand firm on your legs, your only support was running your fingers through the soft strands of his hair.

"bin... let me... please you, it's your birthday" you said with difficulty.

wonbin cleared his eyes from your wet pussy for a moment, connecting his big eyes with yours, his lips were more swollen and shiny, a worthy image that you would wish to capture for your whole life.

"you're already doing it" he said to go back to playing with your sensitive clit with the tip of his tongue, it didn't take long for your release to come and he savored it.

with your legs shaking, unable to hold yourself up any longer, he laid you down on the couch, while he aligned his aching erection at your wet and sensitive entrance.

melted into one, letting the emotions of the day, happiness, surprise and love become the driving force behind each caress. it felt different this time, as if each touch had an even deeper meaning.

every time he looked at you, he saw in your eyes something beyond desire.

it was pure love, real love.

and in the midst of it all, as their bodies intertwined, he kept whispering...

“i love you, i love you, i love you.”

hope u liked it, if you made it this far, thank you, ilysm <3

[2headedb0y]

To the anon who asked if the cats at the cafe are adoptable, here's a small demo of how that will work. You can adopt only once/one cat per save file.

But what you can do an infinite amount of times is change your cat's accessory, so if you gave it a collar and later want to have it wear a bow or flower, or change the color of the bow/flower/collar, you can do that any time from your apartment wardrobe.

Before you can adopt a cat you have to get it to a friendly status with you at the cafe, by playing with it (use the laser pointer, I'll probably add a feather toy or something too).

Cat cafe is a key element of boyfriend option Yurei's route; playing with the cats and adopting one will get you points with him. More on that later!

I'm also working on a little special something for people who donate to the game, that will be related to cat cafe.

Unrelated note here, I don't know how many people have been paying attention to the in-game clock in the videos, but some may have noticed that before it was moving like...crazy fast, a second for a minute. I realize that would make crazy pacing in the game and probably be stressful. Right now I have it set to pass in real time, so a minute in the game takes a minute in real life.

BUT you can fast forward time with various in game activities so you're not time-gated (you can skip 8 hours by sleeping, or 2 hours with a nap, as a couple of examples).

Edit: Also, time passage is not tied to your computer's clock or anything like that. Time doesn't pass in the game unless you are actually running the game (it's not like Animal Crossing for example, where time passes in the game whether you are playing or not).

[deadhands69]

You Started It

Tomura Shigaraki x reader

Here's 76: “you started it!” Thanks for requesting this one @scary-grace and @shigarakislaughter I had other ideas but this kind of wrote itself so if you had anything else in mind, I can write another one [prompt from this list of three word prompts, feel free to send requests and I'll be working on them in the evenings over the next few weeks!] tattoo shop AU fluff Contains: mentions of needles, heavy making out and an implied suggestive comment (this is like pg-13), and it was clearly written by someone slightly shorter than Tomura so I guess mentally change the descriptions however you want.

The neon green ‘tattoo’ light in the window flickers. It’s been doing that on and off for weeks now, driving you all crazy. Probably fixable, you think every time you see it happening but none of you remember to do anything about it when you do have a free moment. You make a mental note.

Right now is not the time though.

Right now, you’re gloved-up and coating everything in a disinfectant so intense you’re not really sure how it’s legally available to the public. The clock rolls over to seven pm, it’s a late start to your day but in the slow season you’ll take what you can get. Tomura in the adjacent station is halfway through another huge video game tattoo on his roommate. Dabi’s client is looking at their new tattoo in the mirror. The others didn’t bother to show up, having no one on the schedule.

“Are you using my bottles?” you ask Tomura, staring the answer down in front of him. 

“Grabbed the wrong ones earlier, just use mine.”

“Ughh,” you groan at him, grabbing his and spraying them with more cleaner than you’d typically use. “You better scrub those really well. Last time you used mine I found ink on them after.”

“I know how to clean,” Tomura rolls his eyes at you. 

“No dude, you're fucking gross sometimes,” yells Dabi from across the room while he bandages the tattoo he just finished. 

“Hey,” Tomura complains over his shoulder, “don't say that in front of my client.”

“Your client is Spinner. Doesn't count,” you laugh. 

“Hey, I count!” yells Spinner, while Tomura grumbles at him to stop moving. 

“You know what I mean, you know him,” you quip back while wiping down your station. “I've seen how he is in here, and this is work. There's no way he isn’t an absolute slob at home.”

“Hah!” exclaims Spinner, once more prompting Tomura to groan at him before the latter puts all of his weight over the former's thigh to force him to stay still. “No, you’re right. He’s definitely a mess at home.”

“I clean fine,” Tomura mumbles. 

You watch as Spinner winces slightly at Tomura dry wiping his leg in retaliation before continuing, “you are capable of cleaning fine, absolutely. But your bedroom is full of trash and takeout boxes at any given time. So no, I wouldn't say that you're clean.”

“I'm busy,” Tomura grumbles, eyes flicking in your direction to see your reaction. His face flushes behind locks of long white hair. It's pretty, but you've always wondered how he can work like that. This sparks a bickering conversation between the two of them regarding what constitutes ‘busy,’ but you tune them out in favor of the work you need to do. 

A few minutes later, everything is wiped, wrapped, and organized. With your station ready, you wait. Hovering just close enough to see the lines on Spinner’s leg come together. It looks amazing.

Watching Tomura work is fascinating. As much as you love making fun of him, he's good at what he does. He also has nice hands, you note, paying careful attention to the way they flex through the gloves he's wearing. Plus, he's cute when he's concentrating. His eyes squint and he bites his bottom lip every time he has to pull a long line. It’s a face you’ve memorized. You find yourself staring at him a lot. He probably notices, but you don’t really care. 

Shortly after you first started working here, he asked you out. And like an idiot, you said no. Not wanting to mix your work and personal life (even if he is one of the most attractive humans you've ever met in an ethereal way that makes you wonder how he even exists.) At the time, you thought it probably wasn’t a big deal for him. Making the assumption that he asks people out on a regular basis because every other guy here does (which is valid, because they’re all attractive and that usually goes well for them.) However, putting together everything you’ve seen and what Spinner has said about Tomura’s personal life, you don’t think he goes on any dates even if he easily could. 

You think about it a lot. Running through every outcome of how things would have been different if you’d said yes. How the date would have gone. If you'd still joke like you do. You love spending time with him. Sometimes you even wonder if he has any interest now that he's actually gotten to know you. 

Probably not you decide, trying to shut the thought out of your mind. 

Toga from the front desk brings your client back. Perfect timing for a distraction. 

It's a little past eleven when Toga turns off the neon ‘open’ sign, dims the lights, and locks the door for the evening. 

“Have a good night!” she yells before exiting through the back door and disappearing down the street. Dabi left a few hours ago which just leaves you and Tomura still putting things away after cleaning up for the night. 

“Why'd you let Dabi tattoo you yesterday,” he asks while replacing your shared paper towel roll. 

“Because I liked the drawing he did and I wanted it as a tattoo.”

“You like my drawings too, you said so.” You nod. “So, why haven't you let me tattoo you yet?”

You didn't want to ask and be imposing or take too much of his time since he never offered to tattoo you, like Dabi who offered to trade, but more importantly: “Are you…jealous?”

“No, of course not,” Tomura says the words but his voice gives him away. 

“Oh. Well, I'd love to get tattooed from you sometime. Whenever you have time.” At the last minute you add sarcastically, “as long as you aren't too busy to clean everything before.”

He scoffs at you, walking around  the table to where your bottles are sitting (thankfully spotless, you note) on his tray. You grab two but he gets the third. 

“And for that,” he says holding it over his head, just out of your reach, “you're not getting this back.”

Okay. You'll bite. 

“Really?” you ask, trying to reach for it to no avail. Instead, you switch to using both hands to try to bring his arm down but he's surprisingly strong. You could tickle him but you aren't sure if he's ticklish. He seems like he would be though and he'd probably end up squeezing the bottle and spraying soap everywhere for you both to deal with. 

“Come on, give it back. You're so mean to me,” you pout but there's no real bite to your words. 

“You started it!” he retorts.

“Oh yeah? How did I start it?” you ask, still hanging off his extended arm. 

“By being mean to me first.”

“Fine then. Tomura, can you please give me the soap bottle back?”

“Hmmm. What are you going to do for it?” he smirks at you, flirting? Suddenly, you realize how close the two of you are standing. Your feet are firmly planted on either side of his worn red skate shoes, chests pressed together. 

“What do you want me to do for it?”

“I don't know,” he furrows his brow, “didn't think that far ahead.”

You try to shove him playfully but having just mopped, the floor is slippery. The two of you lose balance slightly before his free hand wraps around your waist to steady you. Your hands are gripping his shirt and you're close. Very close. 

His body feels warm against yours and firmer than you expected. You’re not sure why you thought he’d be bonier, but ‘toned guy who spends all of his free time playing video games alone’ isn’t a phrase that typically makes sense. Here you are though. In your surprise, you find your hands exploring more of him than you consciously chose to - running your fingers down his chest, around his ribs, and down the curve of his spine. In response, he wraps his other arm around you, bottle laying forgotten on the tray behind him. 

First you kiss his cheek, making tentative contact with his dry, but surprisingly soft, skin. His hold on you tightens as he exhales shakily. Slowly, you kiss your way across his face until your lips find his. They’re chapped, like usual, so you’re careful to not shove into him too hard. 

He isn’t.

His mouth moves desperately on yours. Kissing you passionately with force, like he’s trying to suck your soul from your body. You feel his fingertips digging into your shoulders, pulling you in as close as he can. Without breaking the connection, you push him a few steps back onto the table he just finished cleaning, climbing over his lap and straddle him as he lays back. He grabs your new tattoo on accident before immediately letting go at your slight recoil. Eventually, his hands find a safe place on your hips and yours tangle their way into his hair, which is also surprisingly soft for how messy he usually wears it. The two of you stay like this for a while, losing track of time. Not caring who can see you making out through the floor to ceiling windows as they pass. 

You pull back for air, opening your eyes to look down at him. He’s beautiful, even in the limited lighting.

He smiles up at you. His teeth are cute and crooked in a way that perfectly suits his face. You lean in again, kissing him with less urgency this time.

“Does this mean you changed your mind?” his lips move over yours as he speaks.

“Hmm?” you hum, too lost in the moment to figure out what he's referring to. 

“Am I good enough now?” you pull away fully to see his face. 

“What are you talking about? Good enough for what?” you ask, still staring at him in a daze. 

“To date you. You said no when I asked but you still seem into me. I figured you had a reason so I’ve been trying to be better.” When you don’t respond immediately, he jumps to more conclusions. “Is it the cleaning thing? Because that only happened once and I said I was sorry.”

“No, it's not that. It wasn't that. It wasn't anything you did. Uhm, that doesn't really matter right now.” You move a strand of hair out of his face, watching as he melts to your touch. “You’re definitely good enough,” you whisper, “what are you doing tonight?”

His mouth cracks open to give the most obviously flirty answer before biting his bottom lip for a moment and thinking it through. “No plans, but I’ve been working since two without a break so I’m not up for much.”

“That’s okay,” you murmur back, “want to get takeout and watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you again and the world spins. The two of you stand, grabbing your jackets to leave, and make your way out the door.

Tonight will be cute, fun. You’re not worried about the stray bottles you left between your stations. Or the few paper towels that didn’t make it into the trash can. You're not even thinking about the security camera footage that will inevitably be circulating between everyone in the shop before you both show up to work tomorrow.

masterlist

[kawaiichibiart]

Forgot to share this yesterday, but here's another AU. This time around is the NPC Unit's AU. Again, long text, I'm sorry 😅

And right from the start, the most important thing to remember is: canon doesn't (always) apply here. A lot of things change with this AU and it's probably my most developed AU, seeing how I started it in 2022 (November to be more specific). This also means that I was limited to the NPCs that we had access to since November 2022. I don't plan on changing anything unless it's something I haven't 100% decided on. That outta the way, here are the NPC Units, the OG Units they're replacing, their initial VS and SEKAI, and a little bit about them as a group:

→ STANDOUT - Leo/need. STANDOUT was created by Iori and her fellow bandmates: Mio, Miu, and Kotaro.

While Mio and Miu both have experience playing an instrument, past street artist Kotaro doesn't. He makes up for it with his passion and determination, setting time aside to learn to play his synth outside of band practice. STANDOUT's biggest desire is to go pro, however Iori and Mio have a breakup similar to Akitoya's in VBS's main storyline. They do, eventually, reconcile and their true feelings change their first Unit song from "Untitled" to "Unhappy Refrain."

Their SEKAI is the Live House SEKAI, which is pretty self explanatory. It's a Live House. It was created by the whole unit.

Their initial VS are Miku and MEIKO. LH Miku has hair that leans more blue than teal with black streaks in it and is tied in low pigtails. She wears a bomber jacket over a T-shirt and ripped jeans akin to that of the male street parka outfit. MEIKO, on the other hand, wears a sharp red suit, with a cropped shirt under her jacket, something you can only see whenever she leaves it open. MEIKO acts as Miku's manager more than her fellow bandmate.

Going back to STANDOUT, they have their ups and downs. From Iori's and Mio's big fight, to Kotaro sometimes feeling discouraged that he isn't as far along as the girls. But they help each other grow and see reason. Kotaro is usually the one to tell Iori to get her head outta her ass, Miu is the one who'll work with Mio, and Iori is the one who makes sure they all stay on track (a good thing, but also can lead to her being a bit overbearing and hence Kotaro telling her off).

→ Blossoming ✿ Melodies - MMJ. Blossoming ✿ Melodies is an idol group created by Mai, Nanami, Yuina, and Ayaka.

Former idols Mai and Nanami return to world of Idols after meeting Yuina and Ayaka. Mai is the one to ask, and while hesitant, the other three agree. And it all stems after Mai apologizes to Haruka, only to learn the former idol wouldn't return. She's full of guilt and doubts what she can do as an idol. It isn't until she meets Yuina, who shows her a video of a girl who dreamed of being an idol, was denied one too many times, and rather than wallow in sadness, she found a new dream to chase: dance. It was inspiring to her, hearing about how something negative led to something positive. How someone who was told no, didn't let that break her down, rather she kept looking and found something else she was passionate about.

And that's what Blossoming ✿ Melodies's overall message ends up being. To never give up on finding happiness, even if that means chasing a new dream.

Their SEKAI is the Stage SEKAI, but it isn't like MMJ's. For one, it's outdoors. And second, it's located in a large garden. Due to having a floral theme, it made sense that their stage is located in a garden full of flowers. The Stage SEKAI is large, with many stages undiscovered by the girls.

Their initial VS are Miku and Rin. Following the flower theme, their Miku is Sakura Miku. This Miku is dressed in soft pinks and teal accents, with cherry blossoms and actual cherries in her hair. This Rin is the only one who diverges from her original design, having long hair in her default appearance. She's themed after daffodils, with one attached to the ribbon that has her hair half tied up. She dresses in different shades of yellow with white as an accent.

Blossoming ✿ Melodies's Untitled song is "Upside-down Reverse Rainbow"

As I said earlier, the girls have a flower theme going on. Mai is represented by purple hyacinths, representing sorrow and seeking forgiveness. Fitting for the girl who's looking towards forgiving herself and is full of sorrow for her past actions. Nanami is represented by the blue star, representing perseverance, persistence and strength. She's the one pushing everyone to continue, the one who won't back down, the one who is making sure that Blossoming ✿ Melodies works. Ayaka is represented by orange daisies, representing happiness, friendship and warmth. Ayaka is considered the nicest of the group. She doesn't want to live in regret, she wants to live happily. She's empathetic, kind, social, etc., so she's usually the one setting up things they can do with fans, the one who'll speak first, and the one who makes friends the easiest. And lastly, Yuina is represented by white chrysanthemums, representing honesty and loyalty (it can also represent grief and mourning but they don't suit Yuina). For the longest time, Yuina had trouble being honest with others (and herself ) while also being loyal to them. The two feelings would clash, leaving her unsure as to whether she should be honest with friends/family, or if she should be loyal to them and not say anything. It's something she's working on, priding herself on not holding back how she feels, while still maintaining a strong sense of loyalty.

→ FR33LY 2M0RR0W - VBS. Past RADer members Taiga and Nagi team up with Arata and Souma in order to create more events in Vivid Street. They want to recreate the glory that is RAD WEEKEND. The desire to surpass said event is still there, but it isn't that relevant to their story. They want to be impactful, to have people show up and realize that they want to pursue music. Originally, RADer was meant to reform, but Ken denied the invite, choosing to stay in his café. He does, however, give advice to the four.

Their SEKAI is known as the Street SEKAI. But rather than a café, they're close to several live houses, each one representing a VS. Only two are active: Miku's and Len's.

Their initial VS, as mentioned above, are Miku and Len. Like LH Miku, Street Miku has her hair tied in low pigtails. She, however, is also wearing a leather cap on her head. Her clothes consist of sweats, a tank top and a cropped jacket. This Miku is very active, she's running around, putting up flyers of her upcoming shows. Len, on the other hand, wears a denim jacket over a graphic T-shirt. His jeans are covered in paint, as he prefers making posters and flyers over performing. It's more fun in his eyes. Sometimes he even adds colorful streaks to his hair with temporary dye.

Ironically, their Untitled song is "Freely Tomorrow."

FR33LY 2M0RR0W has had long talks about RAD WEEKEND, with Arata often voicing his displeasure at how the others seem to have just, forgotten, how big of a deal it was. They hadn't. They just don't see the need to surpass it, when they can do so much more just trying to get to people. It's something they don't have to pursue. If it happens, it happens. But it isn't the end of the world if they don't. This discussion is what will eventually lead to Arata's first focus event, "Passing the Torch," where he eventually decides to help a duo known as the BAD DOGS in their journey of surpassing RAD WEEKEND.

→ Phoenix ReIncarnation - WxS. Formed by Sakurako and the eldest Otori siblings, PxReI is meant to get more visitors to PXL. The group was formed after it was decided that the Wonder Stage had to go. It's destruction leading to Emu running away. But no matter what they do, visitors just keep decreasing.

Their SEKAI is known as the Theater SEKAI. It's a rundown theater, with stained furniture and ripped posters. It's empty and full of dust. A symbol for what PXL is going to become if they continue to focus on it's glory. An abandoned area.

Their initial VS are Miku and Luka. If you think of "World is Mine" Miku, that's their Miku, but more bitchy. Everything has to go her way. She's the star. She's the reason the theater was successful. She was what they wanted. It's all about HER. She has no consistent appearance and is always demanding things. Luka is her manager. Like LH MEIKO, Luka wears a suit. She's often trying to appease Miku, but she's also done things without asking her, leading to two of them to fight. Both think they're in the right, even when one of them is very clearly in the wrong. Luka is strict, cold and snippy. She wants to get the theater back to glory, but it's so hard when Miku's demands are what led the other VS to leave, starting with the Kagamines and ending with MEIKO.

Phoenix ReIncarnation's Untitled song is "CONNECT with the World!"

PxReI see their SEKAI as a sign that things need to change. And they have to make those changes. Yes, they want the park to go back to it's glory days, but as Sakurako eventually admits, it's okay to make changes to the park, but they shouldn't change what the park is meant to be: a place where anyone can leave with a smile. It's meant to be a happy place, a place that can get anyone to smile. They can't do that if all they focus on is fancy new rides and attractions. She can understand why Emu ranaway, the Wonder Stage was old and bound for either repairs or replacement all together. But denying her the chance of trying to save it, trying to make a place people can visit and potentially get a smile from, after being promised she could, must have felt like the biggest stab in the back. They made the decision and didn't tell her. And when they tried to explain, they did it in a way that was demeaning of her ideas and emotions. Again, it's no wonder why she ran away. And from what Sakurako has seen from nearly running into the youngest Otori, she has found a new family to live with. This leads to the eldest Otori siblings asking her if she knows where Emu is living, so they can actually go and listen to her, hear what she has to say and apologize. And she does, after all she did manage to talk Emu and her new older brother into doing promotional performances with her outside of PXL. The elder Otori siblings eventually find themselves in the Tenma household (the irony that the person Emu ran to ended up being someone they didn't hire), listening to their baby sister as she let's out her frustrations and how much it hurt being told something, PROMISED something, only for it to mean nothing. They never listened to her. She was childish in their eyes. She didn't know anything about what could help the park. She had ideas, sure they might not have worked, but they never let her try. They never gave her a good reason why they couldn't, just "it's too childish" or "be serious for once." Tsukasa, Saki and Toya do. They tell her why it's impossible, but rather than tell her no, or telling she can try it just to not let her try in the end, they work with her to make her ideas possible. How can she trust her own family? That they won't go back on their word, hurt her again, that they mean it when they say they're "sorry?" Hinata, Keisuke and Shosuke do, eventually, get kicked out by Tsukasa. And as their leaving, Hinata is able to look inside via the window and she gets flashes of her childhood, and how she, Keisuke and Shosuke used to comfort Emu when she cried, just like how Tsukasa, and two others, who must have been Saki and Toya, were currently comforting Emu. And, while it might seem like a last ditch attempt, whether to get more visitors or just to get Emu back home, the three elder Otori siblings talk their father into repairing the Wonder Stage, with the siblings, Hinata especially, intending on handing it over to Emu (and Tsukasa).

→ Night • Watchers - 25ji. Aka, the Shitty Parents Club. The N•W are: Harumichi (fuck you), Shinei (fuck you), Mr. Otori (fuck you, you're on thin ice and I have salt and rocks at the ready) and Mrs. Asahina (fuck you especially). They get together to talk about their kids, expectations and unexpected things that have happened to them.

They DO NOT get along, whatsoever. Mrs. Asahina will often try to tell men how to care for their children. Shinei and Harumichi blame the other's son for influencing their own, respective, son. Mr. Otori is more focused on his park and why his kids were so determined to change his plans for it.

Their SEKAI is the Manor SEKAI. It's a large manor with a beautiful garden. It's always night time in the SEKAI. The manor is quiet and dusty, much like the Theater SEKAI. But unlike PxReI's SEKAI (which does, slowly but surely, get repaired), the Manor SEKAI stays eerily quiet and dusty.

Their initial VS are Miku and KAITO. Miku, in this SEKAI, is quiet, timid and a bit anxious. Her hair is lose and she's dressed in a nightgown. She prefers to be alone, and thus will hide from the adults and only ever seek KAITO's company (until the other VS arrive, in which case she'll look for one of them). KAITO is dressed like a butler (because that's his role), in crisp suit and a towel in hand. He's polite and always has a strained smile on his face. He's Miku's main caretaker and isn't pleased when the SEKAI's owners cause her to feel distressed. Because of this, he'll often kick them out and tell them to explore the gardens (Miku, hiding behind KAITO: KAITO, they scare me ): KAITO, to N•W: Get the fuck out, you're scaring my kid :))

Their Untitled song is "A Lie and a Stuffed Animal."

The N•W do, eventually, just talk. Again, it's mainly about their kids. But they also talk about themselves and the past. At one point, Mrs. Asahina asks Shinei and Harumichi what they do when their kids runaway, since Mafuyu ranaway and she had no idea what to do. They weren't of any help. Shinei just, waits for them to come home. Harumichi used to drag Toya home from the Tenmas, where he always goes, but recently he hasn't been able to because the eldest Tenma brat (because that's what they are in his eyes) chased him away with a frying pan, and somehow, SOMEHOW, has his neighbors so wrapped around his little finger, an old woman threatened him with her rolling pin ("At least it wasn't a knife." "Shut it!!"). Now he ALSO has to wait, and Toya just, doesn't really return? Again, no help whatsoever.

Now, for some miscellaneous fun facts :D

• FR33LY 2M0RR0W's name was the last one chosen, prior to that I had already decided that "Freely Tomorrow" would be their Untitled song.

• Emu first found out about the Wonder Stage being demolished when she was heading over to the stage to meetup with Tsukasa for the first time. She was dressed up and excited she found someone willing to help her, when she saw the demolition team already taking the stage down.

• Of the original units, the only ones (as of now) that have/will form(ed) are: Nightcord and WxS. MMJ and VBS won't (Minori is pursuing dance, with Haruka eventually becoming her dancing partner, An, in this AU, doesn't want to surpass RAD WEEKEND, she just wants to hold her own memorable event, and she also wants to help Kohane get out of her shell. The Vivids don't form, but the BAD DOGS do.) I have not decided if L/n would form yet. I'm leaning towards no, but it's not 100% decided. I can be swayed to keep L/n.

• As I mentioned early on, canon doesn't always apply to this AU. It's very evident by the fact Nagi's still alive and well. What I haven't decided on, was if I should still have her be sick (I think she had cancer, I can't remember I play EN and I haven't watched any of the events that have come out on JP) and have an event focused on Nagi and her leaving FR33LY 2M0RR0W and having Ken join them as one her final wishes. The one thing I know I'd want if I went through with the event, is for her to mainly spend it with An.

• As I mentioned in the N•W's and PxReI's parts, Mafuyu, Toya and Emu have all runaway from home. Of the three, Toya is the one who has done it the most, Emu has never done it nor has she considered it, and Mafuyu has considered it but has never done it.

• Hinata wanting to give Emu back the Wonder Stage is the main focus of her first event: To See That Bright Smile Again. This event will be our introduction to PxReI's Kagamine Rin.

• FR33LY 2M0RR0W's first event leads to Saki and Ichika picking up their instruments again, both having attended the event and playing there after being coaxed gently by Nagi.

• Mafuyu and Shizuku currently don't attend school. Mafuyu is hiding out in Kanade's house, and doesn't want to risk being found by her mother, when the last time she saw her, she meant it to be her last day alive. Shizuku, is taking a semester off to recover after she had an emotional breakdown during archery club, a result of the bullying she went through during her time as an idol. It became to much for her to handle and under doctor's order, she has to take time off to heal mentally and emotionally.

• Saki and Ichika no longer attend Miya Girls. Ichika attends the same online school that Kanade does, but they're not classmates. Saki, at her own request and her parents insistent, transferred to Kamiyama and is in Akito's class. Both transfers were done after they, Honami and Shiho got into a rather big argument. They tried to stay but it became hard to focus, and so Saki was taken out and transferred to Kamiyama, where her parents felt more secure she'd be taken care of. Ichika would leave a few days later.

• Since Blossoming ✿ Melodies has a floral theme, all their VS follow this theme as well. As of right now, the ones I've decided on are: Miku - Cherry Blossoms, Rin - Daffodils, Len - Sunflowers, and MEIKO - Roses.

• Kohane and An meeting kinda goes like it does in canon, just minus An looking for a partner. Kohane gets lost and An finds her endearing.

• The N•W's is the only unit that doesn't grow and get better. STANDOUT'S improving and becoming more tight knit as a band, Blossoming ✿ Melodies's are doing everything they can to ensure their message is sent, while also working on their own flaws, FR33LY 2M0RR0W's moving on and continuing to inspire others to pursue music, and PxReI's working on saving PXL, whilest keeping it's original meaning and trying to earn forgiveness from someone they hurt. The N•W's are stuck in their beliefs and refuse to change. The only one who has, albeit not that much, is Mr. Otori, and he barely counts because he didn't want to change his ideas, he was pushed into changing them.

• Mai's first focus event is called A Light in the Dark: The Girl Who Found a New Dream. It focuses on Mai first meeting Minori and learning about her trails and errors in trying to become an idol, and how upsetting it was to be turned down over and over and over again and again. She learns how Minori was going to give up and forget about chasing dreams, when a video she posted of her doing an idol group's dance routine went viral with people asking her to teach them. Deciding to take the chance, she made video after video of her dancing, doing tutorials and eventually, she branched out of idol dances. She learned, she taught, she danced. She danced and danced and has never felt happier. It was then she realized she wanted to become a dancer, maybe a dance teacher, but it was a new dream to chase.

• All initial 3 stars have their chosen phrase and skill name picked out.

Iori - "I'm not the one who's running away like a coward." Skill name: Hiding Behind Arrogance.

Mio - "I'm terrified, okay?!" Skill name: Conquering Fear.

Miu - "This is a big step for us...but are we ready?" Skill name: A Bright Future.

Kotaro - "This band isn't just about you, Iori." Skill name: Speaking up.

Mai - "Don't you understand?! It's my fault..." Skill name: Past Regrets.

Yuina - "I want to be like her!" Skill name: Finding New Dreams

Ayaka - "Do you really think I can be an idol?" Skill name: Entering the World of Idols

Nanami - "It'll be hard, but we can do it!" Skill name: An Idol's Resolve

Arata - "Have you forgotten what that day felt like?!?!" Skill name: Never Ending Desires

Souma - "There's more to life than surpassing RAD WEEKEND..." Skill name: Looking for More

Taiga - "Ken, I could really use some advice." Skill name: Going to a Friend

Nagi - "We've made an impact!! And that's what's important." Skill name: Making a Difference

Sakurako - "Wait!! Just hear me out, please!" Skill name: Asking For Help

Hinata - "Emu..." Skill name: A Sister's Sorrow

Shosuke - "She has to grow up and look at reality!" Skill name: Forgotten Dreams

Keisuke - "We have to look at all the possibilities, what can we do?" Skill name: Managing Problems

Shinei - "I'm just trying to protect them." Skill name: A Broken Home

Harumichi - "Toya? He never comes home now." Skill name: Lost Son

Mr. Otori - "They're changing. Themselves and my plans." Skill name: A Park Owners Dilemma

Mrs. Asahina - "I don't understand what happened..." Skill name: Mother Knows Best

[thaliagrayce]

y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Well.

[iniziare]

Reminder to self when I've done some more writing: Remind people that I'm canon-strict, what that means, and how I guess it means that I'm reclaiming yet another term that has been rendered as being something akin to negative by the masses. Better known as, a... 'lore purist'. Hi, yes, that's me! Hi, hello, my name is Sae, how do you do?

[tardis--dreams]

Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

[i-am-just-a-skeleton]

Okay, to start off this is a vent post involving transphobia, mainly my own internalised transphobia, so if you'd like to avoid reading that I'd suggest skipping off now. Anyway. for anyone still here I apologise for the incoherence I just need to get this all out of my head a bit. The main thing is my dad. He's not... actively transphobic, I guess, but he is the main source of my current anxieties on this subject. Which are: I think I should detransition. I don't want to, but maybe I should. I can't tell if I want or not anymore because, maybe that will solve all this. It doesn't have to be an issue. If I was a cis guy, it wouldn't have to be an issue (or maybe it would, because I do like crossdressing and maybe I'm not entirely a guy anywa so I might still be trans anyway but anyway that doesn't matter because it's impossible), but we can't have that, so maybe it doesn't have to be anyway. If I detransition, and everything's fine, then we don't have to do anything and it all works out. And if I do feel utterly terrible then I can just go back as normal and everything will be fine. It's the logical approach to take, and it will solve all of this one way or another. Anyway. That's what it's all boiled down to, there are so many other things that play into this and I really ought to focus on untangling them all, probably. A lot of it comes from my dad, but a good bit of it's just me as well, like for some reason I have a much harder time accepting myself (and by extension other trans guys/afab trans people) and that's probably internalised mysogyny taking, the "of course everyone wants to be a man, and that's why you don't see this many trans women around now do you?" bit, and I don't really know what my own thoughts on everything are because I have both voices going in my head and all that comes out is just a mess of pain and stress and anxiety and anyway. I think I should detransition, because it seems like the easiest way to make at least a little bit of this go away, whichever way it goes.

[aberooski]

Okay so, if y'all know me you know I adore tmnt. It was my obsession before I ever watched even the original YGO much less GX. And now I'm watching tmnt 2012 for the first time, I'm about halfway through season 2 and honestly you guys are so lucky I'm not live blogging it because well.... I don't like it 💀

I will say I'm enjoying season 2 more than season 1 so far but still 💀

[sheeezu]

Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.

I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.

Yes. I've shifted.

I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.

I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.

Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:

I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.

So? Why did I mention this?

Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:

"Shifting needs practice!"

Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.

Though, is the phrase actually true?

No, not at all.

Shifting does not need practice!!

Here's why:

(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)

The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)

Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)

Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.

Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.

I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:

My journey:

I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.

A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.

First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.

Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.

Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.

Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)

I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.

I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.

Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.

A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.

The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.

LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.

And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.

Background to my first shift:

It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.

I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.

The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.

But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:

"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."

Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.

I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.

And with a blank mind I thought.

"I won't have to take any test today."

And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.

The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.

So the test got cancelled.

Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.

I decided to apply this to shifting.

Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)

And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.

My method and what happened next:

First phase of shifting:

When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)

I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:

a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.

b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.

c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)

During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.

And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)

So you can start the next phase.

Middle phase (optional):

To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)

This is all about connection to your DR.

Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:

My name is ___.

I work as a ___.

My age is ___.

Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.

(That's you!)

Phase three:

Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.

a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)

OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)

b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.

❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.

Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)

Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.

(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)

c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)

Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.

And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.

Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?

So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.

And I remember I thought this:

"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."

(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)

And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)

I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.

I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.

So that's it.

Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.

And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.

Ask away.

I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.

[foldingfittedsheets]

One of the most memorable speeches I've ever heard was given at my beloved's graduation. They attended a pretty crunchy school natural medicine. They went for acupuncture but they also had many degrees including nutrition, naturopathic medicine, and most importantly to this story: midwifery.

The common consensus across campus was that the midwives operated on their own frequency which is a nice way to say they were usually really weird, even by the standards of a pretty alternative crowd of people. Not weird in a bad way. But weird nonetheless. They straddled the boundary between life and death and it changed them.

I had never experienced a midwife before the ceremony which is why I didn't think anything of the fact that a midwife stepped up to give the graduation speech. My friends nearby had a stir of repressed amusement and elbowing each other which did puzzle me slightly.

The speech began as a story, which I heartily approved of. The midwife related an experience in which a woman told her that during her first birth she had screamed too much and used up her energy in that instead of pushing and the midwife, to the collective masses assembled to watch a solemn ceremony, said, "I told her this time she would need to scream with her vagina."

The audience was slightly stunned by this, myself included. I scanned the crowd to see dropped jaws and wide eyes. It was such a bold statement to make in an academic setting and no one quite knew what to make of it.

The midwife continued unperturbed.

She related that many dads didn't know what to do during the birthing process and that this particular dad chose to chant over and over, "You're gonna be huge, you're gonna be huge," as his wife screamed with her vagina to birth their child. The midwife mused that she didn't know if he was talking to their child or his wife or if he even registered what he was saying in that moment.

Then the subject strayed toward how the student body had strained and striven toward this goal, this endgame that was the result of sleepless nights, hard work, and camaraderie. The speech seemed to have moved onto more solid ground and traditional graduation reminiscences. The crowd settled, thinking the worst had passed.

But as the midwife wrapped up she said, "As you go forth into the world, pushed out by this noble institution to help the masses, just remember one thing," she paused and the audience held their breath while the beat drew out before she finally whispered:

"You're gonna be huge."

There was a roar of astonished laughter as her speech neatly tied their graduation into a metaphor for being birthed unto the world and we finally understood the point of her anecdote.

The speech lives in infamy in all our collective memories. Years later my beloved's dad will still be like, "Remember that bizarre graduation speech?"

And it was. It was bizarre. But I'll say this. I've attended a lot of graduations, and I don't remember any of the speeches half so well as I do that one.

[bloomries]

yeah so my husband— my husband?!

includes : lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, and belphegor.

summary : calling him your "husband" (even though you two aren't married yet) to see his reaction.

warnings : gn! reader. mention of marriage. suggestive (in asmodeus'). the word 'husband' will begin to look strange bc it's used so much, apologies.

LUCIFER

You just meant for it to be a harmless little prank, something to tease Lucifer with later when you two were alone, perhaps gauge his reaction to the idea, but after you said 'yeah, so my husband...' Diavolo's eyes grew as wide as the moon and you instantly regretted your prank idea.

Diavolo clasped a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, beaming. "You finally asked!" This statement went over your head as you tried to quickly take back your words, Lucifer's blanched face making it clear he'll definitely be scolding you later. "But it seems I missed the wedding? Oh well, I'll just host you another wedding so I can see it for myself!"

"Ah, L- Lord Diavolo..." Lucifer sends you a glare as you smile sheepishly. "We aren't- I haven't-"

"How do you both feel about a chocolate fountain?" Diavolo is already off in his own little world, imagining how he'll plan out your wedding. Lucifer decides he'll inform Barbatos of the prank, and have Barbatos deal with it- Lucifer already has his hands full with you. He pulls you aside as Diavolo talks to himself.

"Do you see what you've done?"

"Sorry..." You fake pout, batting your lashes up at him. "My darling husband will surely fix it though, right?" Oh, how can he stay mad when he truly likes the title so much. Perhaps this will make asking you to marry him easier? You surely seem to enjoy the title just as much.

MAMMON

Mammon is always trying to listen in on your phone calls, he's nosy and likes to know all the gossip. Today in particular though, he's trying extra hard to hear, clinging to you and making you unable to do other tasks whilst on your call.

Deciding to tease him a little, in hopes of getting him off of you, you sigh dramatically into the receiver. "I'm sorry, my husband needs my attention, one second."

And when you look down at him, his eyes are wide and shiny, a blush quickly forming on his cheeks. Him? Were you talking about him? He's your husband? A giant grin takes over his features and it seems your little prank has the opposite effect you wanted, as he takes the phone from you.

"Yeah, sorry, their husband- that's me!- needs 'em!" He boasts proudly before hanging up the call and clutching on to you tighter, burying his face into your side, his grin not changing in the slightest.

You sigh, running your fingers through his hair. "Rude, I was trying to talk to someone, you know." Mammon shrugs, not a care in the world.

"'m your husband, I take priority."

"You know you're not officially my husband yet, right?" Shit, you're right. Well, that'll change soon, don't you worry one bit! Mammon knows how to take a hint, and there'll be a ring on that finger soon enough!

LEVIATHAN

You and Levi were playing an online game, chat on full blast, when you decide to tease him- because it's just so fun to see his flustered expression, and you have an inkling that this'll give him some motivation for the game. "Ah, hubby, can you help me with these guys!"

"H- Hubby!?" Leviathan's neck nearly breaks from how quickly he snaps to look over at you, you seem unphased though by the phrase- as if it came so naturally. His heart skips a beat, his grip on the controller tightening. "W- Where are you, I'll come help!"

His gaming friends are all blowing up the chat box, some getting on voice chat just to ask what that meant- 'was Levi actually married?,' 'He was a husband?,' 'Since when!?,' 'Congratulations!,' etc.

Levi would have gotten more flustered, had he been paying any attention to said friends, but he's much more focused on proving he'd make an excellent spouse by rushing to where you were in the map and one-shotting all the enemies that surrounded you.

The battle is quickly won thanks to Levi, who puffs out his chest with pride. You lean over from your gaming station adjacent of his, and press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, hubby~" His cheeks grow a rosy pink, and he pulls his headphones off to give you a serious look.

"Let's get married."

SATAN

"Oh husband~" You call, "Can you help me get this book? I can't reach!" Satan peaks his head from around the corner to give you a questioning look. Who were you calling husband? He watches you struggle, leaning his frame against the door with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I don't remember proposing." Satan watches as you deflates from his lack of reaction to your prank. He sighs, walking over to you and helping you reach the book, tapping it on your head lightly before handing it over to you.

"You're no fun, you know that?"

Satan has a feeling this was definitely set up by one of his brothers, and he'll definitely be getting his revenge on them for making you do this (and for making his heart hammer against his ribcage uncontrollably). Still, he hates to see you upset in the least, so he lifts your chin with his finger and thumb and sends you that smile that sends shivers down your spine.

"Don't be upset, you'll get to call me husband soon, okay?"

And he truly did mean that, he already had a ring, which sat heavy in his pocket. He just wanted to make sure you had the most perfect proposal, something straight out of a romance novel- because that's what you deserve. Soon, soon you'll be able to lovingly call him 'husband' whenever you wish.

ASMODEUS

Asmo is live-streaming again, doing a little grwm-type video, with you off to the side/in the background. As he begins to do his skin care, he asks for you to take over and chat for a little while for him, so you peak your head into view and wave at his viewers.

"Hello everyone!" You smile, glancing back at Asmo who's behind you in the bathroom, doing his skincare. "My lovely husband is doing his skincare right now, it usually takes him about ten to fifteen minutes to complete it." You say, however you can see his head pop-up from the sink and he whips around to look at you.

"Husband?" He calls, and when you nod, confirming your words, he grins. "Oh my, is this a proposal?" He asks with a teasing lilt, and you joking go along with his words, nodding before reenacting the famous getting-down-on-one-knee. You open your hands as if you had a ring box, presenting it to him. He holds his hand out to you, "I do~" You pretend to slip a ring on to his finger and he admires the imaginary ring before leaning down to kiss you.

"Now," He pulls away, wiggling his brows. "Shall we get started on the honeymoon part?"

"Asmo, that's typically after the weddi-" Asmo reaches for his phone, waving and saying a little 'byeeee' to his followers as he ends the livestream with a giggle, throwing you a lil' mischievous smile.

"No harm in starting earlier, right?" And despite only being halfway through his skincare, and this not being a real proposal, the honeymoon was very nice indeed- he can't wait for the real one though.

BEELZEBUB

You had seen the trend, and wondered how Beelzebub would react. So, under the guise of trying some new food and giving it a review, you set up your camera and begin filming. "Hey everyone, me and my husband are going to be rating food from the new McDevil menu~"

Beel doesn't react at all, and you send him a quick glance before trying again- perhaps he didn't hear you? "I think the Sin-Fries are a solid 7/10, what about you, husband?" But again, he doesn't react to the word at all, instead giving his own rating for the new fries.

Is he really not realizing what you're saying? You decide to try one last time. "My husbands food always looks better than mine," You whine, peaking over at him to see his reaction, only to see him offering you a bite of his burger. You sigh, giving up and deciding to just enjoy your food. You take a bite of his burger, offering him some of yours. The review ends swiftly, and you turn off the camera.

As you two clean up from eating, you notice Beelzebub quieter than usual. You're about to ask him if everything is okay, his face becoming flushed, when he speaks up.

"Soon, okay?" You blink a few times, confused by his words. He bashfully looks up at you, and that's when you realize what he's talking about- marriage, he plans on proposing to you soon. Your own cheeks now grow unbearably warm. "I promise."

Your prank definitely backfired, as now you're the one trying to calm your racing heart (although Beelzebub is definitely just as flustered). Still, you're holding him accountable to his promise- soon.

BELPHEGOR

You're not sure how this little prank managed to get turned against you, but Belphegor has made it so that you're now his personal pillow- again.

"I'm just saying, if I'm you're husband, then that means you should let me use you as a pillow whenever I want." You open your mouth to retaliate, but he beats you to it, batting his lashes up at you. "Don't you want your husband to be comfortable?"

"I..." You falter. You regret deciding to call him your 'husband~' to try and get him to help you with chores. You thought maybe it'd motivate him, or maybe you'd just get to see his cute blushing face, instead you're suffering.

"Come on now, don't be shy~" He wiggles about, trying to grab you to pull you towards him, but he doesn't really exert enough energy to be successful. "Ugh, why... do you... do this... to me- to your darling husband!"

"You're anything but darling." You say, crossing your arms over your chest. "Last time I call you 'husband' or any term of endearment, I swear..." You grumble, turning on your heels to leave, disappointed your prank didn't work.

Belphegor grins, snuggling up to his pillow as he watches you leave. "That's what you think," he mumbles to himself, yawning, "when I finally get that ring on your finger, I'll have ya calling me husband again, just you wait~" He snickers, and a cold chill runs down your spine. You glance back to see him asleep, although you feel as if he's planning something- and you weren't sticking around to find out what!

[melminli]

Ddakji Man

summery - you were always struggling to make ends meet, despite having three separate jobs and you doubted that that would ever change. it felt like you were working out of your own casket and it would probably be more sustainable to invest in one at this point.

pairing: (gong yoo/ji-cheol) the salesman x fem. reader

word count: 1.5k

contains: slight arguing, cursing but nothing too graphic tbh

"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" One of your friends asked you a little sadly since you were about to leave the group. They rarely got to see you anyway, did you have to leave so early? "You never come with us when we go out for a drink, we miss you there, you know?"

You smiled a little tiredly as you strolled casually through the streets. "I'm sorry guys, I just have to work tonight." you tried to explain. Besides, I'm fucking tired and just want to get some sleep before then. I miss my bed.

Your best friend pouted as she hugged you from the side and you welcomed it, even if it made walking a little more difficult. "It's always work this work that. Live a little for once, all this stress is not good for you. You need a break." she spoke up before a thought came into her mind that made her a little furious. "Don't tell me that you're using work as an excuse to cancel on us. We can do something else if you want to. I'll even invite you, come on!"

You took a tired breath. I don't have any energy for this. "Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to get drunk with you and I'm not being sarcastic or anything." you clarified. Besides, I wouldn't work this much if I didn't have to.

"All right." she gave in unhappy. "We'll catch you one of these days, I can feel it..."

You laughed softly. "Please do," you replied and stopped in front of the stairs that led to the subway. This was the place where you had to part ways with the others and you did with a few more hugs. You enjoyed spending time with them and loved your friends with all your heart, but you were still happy to be a bit on your own now.

So you plugged in your cable headphones and played your current favorite song at the loudest volume before checking when the next train was going to arrive. Another twenty minutes? The last one must have just left. You decided to just sit down on a bench and wait while staring blankly around and quietly mumbling the lyrics to yourself.

A few minutes later, a person sat down next to you and you could see out of the corner of your eye that it was probably some kind of businessman or something. You didn't look closely out of politeness and turned your gaze somewhere else after checking the time on your phone.

"Excuse me." the unknown man tried to get your attention, but as expected, you could barely hear him over the booming music. He placed his briefcase in the space between you before leaning closer to your figure and looking towards you with a smile and finally, you seemed to notice his stare and turned in his direction. You took out one of your earbuds as you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The man leaned back again. "I haven't said anything yet. I wanted to ask if I could talk to you, do you have a moment?"

You looked around a little uncomfortably as he maintained uninterrupted eye contact with you. "Ehm, well..." you stumbled slightly over your words. "I'm not religious or anything, sorry," you replied, having no patience for another discourse about Jesus and the church. This is the fourth time this week, lucky me. You thought to yourself as you were about to put your earplug back in.

The salesman held a hand in the air to stop you from doing that to keep your attention. You just looked at him uninterestedly and waited, it was going to be a while before your train arrived anyway. A smile graced his face after you were willing to listen to him again. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, I just want to offer you a chance."

Your face tightened a little in disgust and you were quite irritated by now. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer and didn't say anything else, so you had no choice but to interpret his words. He doesn't look like that kind of guy, but I guess it's always the ones who look the most decent. "Listen to me asshole," you said openly this time, all politeness gone as you pointed at his chest with your index finger. "I don't know you, maybe you're one of those men who try to talk in riddles to seem mysterious or something, but right now it just sounds like you're looking for someone cheap to fuck." you replied as you tapped his tie with each syllable and leaned a little closer to him as you whispered. "And I'm not cheap, so you might want to look elsewhere."

This time it was you who grinned as he looked at you in surprise and he let out a small grunt after you finished your sentence. The salesman straightened his tie while watching your figure before reaching for his briefcase and revealing its contents, "That's too bad, but also not what I was talking about," he replied as you looked at the money and colored paper in confusion. "Have you ever played Ddakji?" He asked you as he took out the red and blue paper. You just shook your head. "That's no problem at all, we can still play it if you're up for it." 

Your gaze alternated from his hand to his face. Oh, so he's crazy. You finally concluded. I guess he is too handsome to be just a normal guy, huh. You turned your head away from him, something about the whole thing just seemed perverse to you. "No thanks, I'll pass."

"You sure?" He asked again, knowing he'd convinced you as soon as he brought the money into it. These people are all the same, she'll snatch the paper right out of my hands after I start talking a language she understands. "Every time you win, you get 100,000 won from me." He began, watching the look on your face. "But if I win, you owe me 100,000 won and -"

You sighed and interrupted him. "Yes, I'm sure. I still don't want to play with you, okay?"

This time the man looked at you with a cold, icy stare. A few minutes passed like this and you just tried to ignore his gaze, but then he started talking again. "All right. 200,000 won." he finally said, but couldn't seem to get your attention back. He tried again. "Is it because you've never played the game before? We can have a practice round if that would make you feel more comfortable." he tried again and got irritated when you continued to ignore him. He looked around the area as he considered his next move. Is she waiting for me to increase the prize money further? These people usually jump up happily at the first amount since they're so desperate. He tried to collect himself again. "500,000 won." he finally said. "I've got the money right here, you just have to go for it."

When is this stupid train coming. "Look, I don't want your fucking money, understand? I'm not a gambling addict or -"

"You may not want it, but you need it," he said, annoyed. This has never happened before, is she stupid? He then spoke out your name and described your miserable living situation as if you didn't already know about it yourself. "You also have quite a lot of debt for someone who is still relatively young, are you seriously going to turn down the money I'm offering you? For what, to prove a point or something?"

You didn't know what this man's fucking problem was, he should be glad that you didn't want to take his money, and how did he even know all this? You got up from your seat next to him when the train finally arrived and turned to face him one last time. "Fuck you," you told him and then went to the doors. You even looked out of the window at him as soon as they closed before you, to show him your the middle finger.

The man in the suit watched your figure irritated until it was gone and then, took the little card out of the inside pocket of his suit, that was meant for you. He turned it over a few times in his hand before closing the open briefcase with his other one. He had already played and lost a few Ddakji games in his life, which was the point of the whole thing - to recruit players for the actual game. However, the thought of what awaited them there meant that he was still in control of the situation. He was always in control of the situation. "I didn't loose, we haven't even played." he tried to reassure himself.

And yet the whole conversation with you left him feeling like he was utterly defeated.

[poguehearted77]

Just Another Cliché

Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.

<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>

Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.

Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.

Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.

It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.

You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.

A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.

"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.

Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.

"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.

You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.

Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.

-

Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.

Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.

There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.

"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"

You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."

It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.

At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.

"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."

Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."

So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.

That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.

"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."

He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.

This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.

Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.

Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.

-

The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.

He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.

"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.

You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.

Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.

Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.

"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.

It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.

"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.

Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.

Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."

You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"

The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?

Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.

He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.

The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.

The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.

He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.

Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.

His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.

You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.

She finally said yes.

That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?

You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.

Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.

Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.

Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.

In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.

Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.