#i don't know if i have an ultimate anything

[iambeees]

Prev is absolutely right and I want to expand on it a little more!

In the masculinities studies world, we often discuss "doing" gender or performing. We all know gender is not innate to a person, so in order for it to be perceived it must be performed- and thats what gym selfies are. No really, men post pictures of them flexing and sweating to show off their gender to *other men*. Because mens bodies are a contradiction- they're "naturally" stronger, faster, more powerful than women BUT they *have* to go to the gym and have massive muscles and eat nothing but protein powder because That's What Men Do.

In the past, men were seen as stronger than women not because of natural or biological reasons (even though this is what they will tell you) but because men were the ones doing physical labour. Yes, raising children and upkeeping a house takes a lot of work, but its hard to compare it to someone slugging rounds bags of bricks all day.

But (in the western world) this kind of intense physical labour and manual jobs have quickly disappeared- men don't need as much physical strength to be the bread winner (See Gill, Henwood and Mclean, 2005, Body Projects).

So they have to find new ways of physically dominating women- so they go to the gym!!

Showing off your gender like this is called "Body Work" (see pretty much anything by Butler) and they do this because they're obbsessed with each other doing it. They can never be complete, the perfect body and domination over men and women is impossible so they keep doing it, keep flexing, keep restricting their diets, keep posting those selfies. It's just another form of surveillance (see Norman and Bryans, 2022, Embodying Aesthetic Entrepreneurialism)

Under the patriarchy, women are completely 100% heterosexual (because to reject men is to not be controlled, which men enjoy- so men tend to assume all women are straight) and men are 100% straight too. And these straight men are completely utterly obbsessed with each other's bodies (without knowing it) and so they assume that women must like it to.

Again- for men, the ultimate goal is to ascend the social hierarchy and become The Patriarch. Women *do not have this goal* so they do not obsess over the Patriarch and instead tend to find bodies that belong further down the hierarchy more attractive, as these men are less likely to dominate them.

This is what we mean when we say the patriarchy sucks for everyone- men are sent down spirals of hatred of themselves, but they are told this cannot be, so instead they channel this hatred into women without doing the work to unlearn why they hated themselves in the first place.

i think the reason a lot of men are screaming, puking, and crying about this is bc it forces them to acknowledge that the reason they can’t get women to like them is not actually bc of their physique but bc of their shitty personality

[tawked]

If I'm being honest, I actually prefer the version of Jason Todd who had a whole arc where the trauma of being Robin during one of Batman's dumb and edgy eras drove him a lil nuts and made him violent, reckless, whatever.

It is a central plot point in A Death in the Family, a comic that while I actively believe no one should read because it is cartoonishly racist, some (me) consider pretty important to understanding the circumstances surrounding Jason Todd's death.

This is consistent with his appearances in earlier stories, forming a character arc wherein he becomes increasingly violent and reckless due to the trauma of his early childhood in poverty and the increasing exposure to violence inherent in being Robin, filtered through the strictly anti-Robin lens of writer Jim Starlin.

Batman #411, he has what is obviously a violent trauma response after finding out Two-Face single parentified his mother.

Batman #422, Batman needs to pull him off a pimp after said pimp threatened his bottom bitch.

Batman #424. I posted this once and someone told me with their whole chest they actually for real believed this dude slipped and Todd didn't kill him which is how I realized that there's a whole generation of Batman fans who do not recognize 1970s-80s action movie tropes. An extremely humbling moment for me lol.

Anyway, notice the sequential nature of the issue numbers.

Now, I sincerely do not want to be a bitch here, but I don't know how else to say this.

The reason Jason Todd is not a violent loose cannon in his earliest appearances, even post-Crisis, is that characters later in their arc are not the same as characters at the beginning of their arc.

These two dudes, who yes are the same dude, have very different relationships with the concept of violent revenge. One of them even cut his own head off in a spooky metaphor cave that taught him about how violent revenge means destroying a part of yourself. The other dude just saw his parents gettin weenie roasted and is mad about that. To reiterate my point, they are the same dude.

But in fandom we have this weird thing where we flat reject this concept of Jason by insisting that no, this characterization was just later writers like Marv Wolfman being haters and retroactively character assassinating him through Tim Drake or something.

We insist on who he was at the beginning of his arc as if he should not, could not, would not on a boat, could not, would not, should not with a goat, develop into anything but who he was at that moment. I have never seen anything else like it in comics or in other fandom. Character development that is just so flat rejected and avoided, in a medium where we usually celebrate development because characters are usually set more or less in stone until the next big reboot event.

And look, if I'm being absolutely honest with you, the smooth clean safe not a wildcard roundhouse kick freak version of Todd that fandom has created is so fucking boring to me.

He is, to me, by far the worst version of the character.

To me, Jason Todd was this Robin specifically:

Batman: The Cult.

That's not Dick Grayson. That's not TIm Drake. That's not Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Carrie Kelley, or whatever other version of Robin.

Jason Todd is the "alright you sorry clowns, let's party" Robin. He was written in line with a bunch of action movie and buddy cop tropes. A Death in the Family was straight up a "hand in your badge McKlinsky, you're a loose cannon" arc. And I just feel like the fandom desire to smooth that out of him, whatever the motivation behind it might be, is ultimately in service for a far more boring, more "in line with Dick Grayson and Tim Drake" version of a character who should never have been in line with Dick Grayson or Tim Drake.

[princessfbi]

For the shivering prompts: bucktommy + 5 if it inspires anything! 💜

5. "Oh. I didn't notice. I'm... I don't feel very well." + Bucktommy

To be completely honest, Tommy wasn't surprised when he got the call. In fact, he was going to take a lot of joy in telling Evan I told you so at an undetermined date in the near future. Not now. Not when he was already down and out for the count. But soon.

If anyone minded that Tommy double parked in front of the station, no one said. As much as he was fully prepared to give Evan the ultimate I told you so of all I told you so's... There was also an itch beneath his skin that crawled up the back of his neck and wouldn't quit until he could lay eyes on Evan.

“Hey,” Tommy said as he spotted Chimney in the ambulance bay.

“Hey!” Chimney’s eyes lit up as he waved him in. “Thanks for coming. I would’ve called Maddie but she’s on shift.”

The thought of anyone else being where Tommy was standing made something coarse twist in his chest. It was amazing what a few near death experiences and an adorable blue eyed reincarnation of his own personal sun could do to a guy. It was the same firehouse where the mere thought of anyone even hinting at his sexuality would’ve sent Tommy running only a few years earlier. Maybe a few months earlier even. But that had more to do with the intensity of the ache in his chest from all his own deep insecurities prodding at him than being outed.

He fell for Evan Buckley hard and fast and it was terrifying still.

But Tommy wasn’t running. At least not away and he didn’t intend to do so again any time soon.

“Thanks for calling,” Tommy said instead. “I tried to tell him this morning but you know.”

He had. Multiple times. In multiple different versions throughout his house as Evan slugged through his morning routine trying to get to his shift on time.

Chimney snorted as he nodded.

“Buck’s got to Buck.” Chimney popped his gum between his molars as he led Tommy through the station. “Hey, do me a favor. I don’t love the sound of his lungs but there isn’t anything worth sending him to the ER for yet. Just keep any eye out and keep me updated?”

The tedious balance between humor and worry tipped further on the scale as Tommy nodded.

Something must have shown on his face because Chimney waved a hand as if to displace the slinking cobwebs of doubt that had crept into Tommy’s mind.

“I don’t think it’s anything some antibiotics and rest won’t fix. Probably just something he picked up when he fell into the drink last shift.”

Right. The rescue at the pier where their teams had crossed paths assisting the 133. Harbor station hadn’t arrive until after the incident where one victim had panicked and shoved Evan right off the pier giving nearly everyone a heart attack in the process before he resurfaced and held up a thumbs up to them. But Tommy had been able to sneak aside his wet pouting boyfriend shivering beneath a rescue blanket for a quick kiss to try and make it better.

Evan had said he was fine. He’d said that Hen and Chimney had looked him over and then Eddie after their shift had ended. He’d said he was fine.

A pit opened up in Tommy’s stomach as he stepped in to the bunk room and spotted him in the corner.

Evan’s long legs were curled up tight to his chest beneath a blanket that was still too small for his long frame. The fanning of his eyelashes shadowed against his pale face, splotchy with pink from the fever that was raging through his body and the thinnest wheeze whistled past his lips on his every exhale.

“Thanks Howie,” Tommy said quietly. “I’ll keep you posted.”

“Let me know if you need help getting him to the truck.” Chimney said in parting before he closed the door behind him.

Tommy sucked on his cheek as he stepped over to Evan’s bunk and bent down sit on the bed. Evan barely stirred, only curling into Tommy like he was the only source of warmth he knew even subconsciously.

“Evan,” Tommy said softly, sweeping his fingers through loose curls. “Time to wake up sleepy head.”

Evan’s face scrunched in annoyance before he tried to burrow away in the blankets his fist had pulled up to his nose.

“Hey,” Tommy said and tried not to frown at the harsher wheeze that fell from Evan’s lips as he exhaled. “C’mon baby.”

The full body trembling only seemed to rocket up in frequency as a bleary eye opened into a slit to stare up at him.

“Hey you.” Tommy smiled and settled his hand on Evan’s scalp, rubbing his thumb in circles at his temples.

“T-my?” Evan croaked before a congested cough rattled its way up through his chest. “Mm’Doing here?”

“Taking you home.”

A frown twisted on Evan’s pink plump lips. “I still got a shift.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “That shipped sailed a while ago. Your teeth are chattering, babe.”

The mention of his trembling only seemed to make them worse and Tommy already regretted not bringing in his hoodie from the truck.

“Oh. I didn't notice. I'm...” Evan rolled his lips together like he didn’t know how to use them anymore. The fever blazing off him was already sending Tommy’s blood pressure through the roof. He didn’t think anything else could pierce through the armor surrounding his chest cavity until watery, tired, vulnerable blue eyes stared up at him in dawning defeat. “I don't feel very well."

Tommy pushed back his hair and leaned down to press a kiss to his temple. “I know. But I’m here to take you home now.”

Evan groaned as he tried to curl into Tommy like he could shield him from the rest of the world. God, only knew how hard he tried to do just that sometimes.

“Don’t think I can walk that far.” It was a quiet confession. One that was blanketed with humor to hide the vulnerability beneath it.

Tommy heard it anyway.

“‘S okay,” Tommy said. “I can carry you.”

He back wouldn’t thank him. Not for the distance it would take to get Evan from the bunk room to his truck. But he’d do it.

And Buck smiled, small and tired, but a smile all the same.

“C’mon,” Tommy said. “Let’s get you home.”

[billiesoxytocin]

normal people things

pairing: billie eilish x female reader

summary: fluff fluff fluff!! billie opens up to you about her longing and desire to just... be normal again. so you bring her on a spontaneous late-night grocery run with you that reminds her of the quiet joy of normalcy <3 FLUFFF!!!!!!!!!!! RAHHHHHHHH

warnings: just billie being a little sad at the start!

word count: 1.5k a/n: js a little something i wrote on a whim. not my best work but it's cute, i think! i hope you enjoy reading it still :)

your head snapped from the screen in front of you to the sound of keys jiggling behind you. a small smile crept to your face, heart rate slowly building up at the excitement of the love of your life coming home.

you watched from the couch as the doors opened and billie walks in. you were greeted with nothing more than a loud sigh from her and a loud thud from her bag hitting the floor.

no hi my love! no i missed you.

"hello to you too, ms grumpy," you let out a soft laugh, finally catching her attention.

she looked up from the tiny screen on her phone and finally laid eyes on you, her gaze lingering with a slight, apologetic smile.

you knew something must have happened today, so you didn't want to make her feel worse. you tilted your head in a beckoning motion, silently telling her to come sit with you.

and she did. her back slouched. her head hung low.

oh my baby.

she rounds to the front of the couch and came crashing into your already open arms. you let out a content sigh of having her back in your arms after a full day.

this was home.

the raven-haired girl squirmed and shifted on top of you and you let her, till she found the ultimate comfort position– her head snug in the crook of your neck, her legs intertwined between yours, her hands in the warmth of your skin under your shirt.

"you wanna talk about it, baby?" you whispered against her hair, your hands slowly finding their way in her silky hair as they massaged her scalp gently. how you knew she liked it.

you felt her practically melt further into you, a soft hum leaving her system. you let the question hang in the air, knowing that she'll answer when and if she wanted to.

a sigh leaves your lips as you kissed her her head through her hair. you took a deep breath, inhaling her scent that you love so much as you simply embraced her.

"sometimes," billie starts, and pauses. you felt her fingers trailing mindless shapes on your sides as she figured out her words.

"mmhm?"

she lets out a sigh and looks up, her chin resting on your chest as the two of you lock eyes.

"is it bad that sometimes i wish i wasn't... this?"

you furrowed your eyebrows, slightly confused. you tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "what do you mean, bils?"

"like-," she paused again.

you smiled, "my love.."

she looks at you questioningly. "it's just me. you don't have to filter. tell me as it is, baby."

"sometimes i don't want to be the billie eilish, global superstar. i don't want to be recognised everywhere i go. i wanna drive myself around in a cool car, not be driven in a black van. sometimes i just want to be able to go to the grocery store and shop like normal people. do normal people things, you know."

you hummed in acknowledgement as you listened. your heart wrenching just a little, hearing the longing in her voice. billie looked everywhere as she spoke, but your eyes never left her face.

"i feel alien, now, y/n. i don't like that," she ends off with a defeated sigh before laying her head back on your chest.

you sighed as well.

"i'm sorry, baby."

you didn't know what else to say. if you had the power to change things, you would have done it already. and billie knew that.

your hands ran down her back, rubbing soothing circles as you pulled her in just a little tighter.

"don't be, sweetheart. it's not your fault, and nobody can do anything about it now. i'm just complaining."

and suddenly you sat up straight, catching billie by surprise as she was forced up as well. "get dressed," you simply said before pushing her off to stand on your feet.

"huh?"

"get dressed!" you repeated, getting excited. billie laughs at the sight, despite being perplexed by your sudden burst of energy.

"i AM dressed! i just got back. YOU get dressed!"

you looked down at your PJs and winced. she was right. you giggled to yourself as you ran to the bedroom to throw on a hoodie and sweatpants over your PJs, and grabbed another hoodie for billie.

it was 2am on a monday night. and you and billie stay in an apartment a 15-minute drive away from a 24-hour k-mart. and you have your very own sage range rover downstairs.

"put this on, baby." you tossed the hoodie to billie as you grabbed your car keys with one hand, the other leading your girlfriend out of the apartment.

billie laughs loudly, "what is going on? where are you taking me?"

you just smiled all the way down to the car.

"um, the driver seat is here..?" she trailed off in confusion when she saw you standing by the passenger seat door.

"oh! right," you feigned innocence before tossing the car keys to her as well, "you're driving."

you hopped onto the passenger seat, all buckled in and ready to go. you were just so tickled by billie's confusion, giggling to yourself in your seat.

"i know what you're doing, y/n." billie says softly as she settled in the driver seat.

you turned to look at her, lips twitching with a barely-contained smile. “oh, do you?”

she nodded, eyes on the road as she started the engine, the soft rumble filling the otherwise quiet underground garage. “you’re trying to give me my ‘normal people things.’” her voice cracked just a bit at the end, laced with affection.

you reached over and rested your hand on her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “maybe,” you admitted with a shrug. “or maybe i just really wanted to argue with you in the snack aisle over whether sour patch or gummy worms are superior.”

billie snorted, the sound breaking through the heavy mood like a sunbeam through clouds. “gummy worms are obviously better.”

you gasped dramatically, eyes wide. “i don’t even know who you are anymore.”

she laughed again, louder this time, and you could practically see the tension start to melt from her shoulders as she backed out of the spot and drove out into the quiet city night.

fifteen minutes and a lot of silly playlist shuffling later, the two of you pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of the all-night k-mart. the fluorescent lights buzzed faintly overhead, casting a cold glow on the asphalt as the doors whooshed open for you.

both of you walked in like two kids left unsupervised—hoodies too big, sleepy eyes, the thrill of being out when the world was quiet. this was yours. just yours.

you grabbed a cart and started pushing it dramatically, leaning forward like a race car driver. billie jogged up beside you and jumped on the front bar, laughing as you struggled to steer. you nearly crashed into a display of off-brand soda.

“this is unsafe,” you huffed, but you were laughing too.

you hit the snack aisle first. billie held up a party-sized bag of vegan white cheddar popcorn with the most serious expression. “this is a necessity.”

you squinted at it. “that stuff gets everywhere. like—i’ll be finding crumbs in my hair for a week.”

“worth it,” she grinned, already tossing it into the cart.

you found a pack of those off-brand gummy worms and waved them in her face. “don’t say i never compromise.”

she laughed and tossed them into the cart. “i’ll allow it.”

in the next aisle, she stopped in front of a weird assortment of halloween clearance items (despite it being may) and put on a discounted plastic tiara. “do i look like royalty?” she asked, striking a dramatic pose in front of the dusty shelf mirror.

“you are royalty,” you replied, without missing a beat. “but the kind that starts revolutions and burns shit down.”

“so… accurate,” she smiled.

you meandered into the homeware section, where you debated the color of throw pillows for an embarrassingly long time. she found a ridiculously soft blanket—neon pink and fluffy—and wrapped herself in it like a burrito.

“this is who i am now,” she declared, arms tucked in.

“that is seventy percent polyester,” you deadpanned.

“i’m seventy percent done with your judgment,” she smirked.

in the toy aisle, billie made a beeline to the shelves of nerf guns. “don’t tempt me.”

“you’re already tempted,” you warned.

you ended up having a short, ridiculous battle between aisles with foam darts flying everywhere. she tackled you onto one of the giant teddy bears in the corner, both of you breathless with laughter.

and somewhere between the frozen pizza aisle and the pet toys you absolutely didn’t need, billie turned to you and said, “thank you.”

you blinked. “for what? the late-night junk food?”

“no,” she said softly. “for giving me this. this—” she gestured around at the nearly-empty store, the cart with three kinds of chips, your disheveled hoodie, and your hand still holding hers.

“this feeling of being… just a girl. with her girlfriend. at k-mart. at 2am. arguing over whether a slushie counts as hydration.”

you grinned. “it absolutely does not.”

she smiled back, leaned in, and kissed you. soft, sweet, and slow. the kind of kiss that said everything words couldn’t. that she was grateful. that she loved you. that in this moment, she wasn’t billie eilish the global phenomenon.

she was just billie. your billie.

[joysisland]

I know konig is socially awkward but just because he can't keep a conversation going it doesn't mean he can't be an asshole. long blurb about mean!konig x f!personal assistant!reader part 2?

Hear me out, we're talking about a MAN who's taller than 6 feet, whose job is his whole life and has never known anything other than that. He's cocky, and let's be honest he's probably experiencing a mid life crisis (he can't fathom how he lived long enough to see 40) plus he's a colonel so he probably thinks his word is law in all aspects. He's sooo mean. mean and disgustingly hot.

He's been in the military since he graduated from highschool so all things considered I think he's really proud of how far he's come, being a colonel and all, but in a way which makes it clear as day that he bases his value on his job. He's working on it.

I think he's mean especially with rookies or generally soldiers with a lower rank than him. Like there's a solid difference in the almost patronising way he treats a private, talking to them like they're kids who still have to learn about the world, dismissing them as soon as he can because he simply thinks their opinions aren't valuable, AND the way he treats other colonels or the captain, with whom he definitely has had conversations about how rookies are absolutely useless and annoying, before immediately switching to bragging about the outcome of a recent mission like they personally did the dirty work.

Of course love hasn't really been his top priority. His job keeps him away from home for months at a time and he simply couldn't care less about putting some effort into a relationship. Not that he couldn't get a girl, cus he's handsome, but his social anxiety and his emotional support hood don't exactly help him.

Once for a split second he had a change of heart, thinking about settling down for good, finally being good to someone special, cherish them, but... the woman didn't even know who he was, and apparently delivering flowers to a girls doorstep everyday for 6 months is nowadays considered stalking. He now has a restraining order. Nothing like it was in the good ol' days.

So ultimately he decided on it: no missus. But that didn't mean harmless fun hookups were off the table. So he did just that, until a new lieutenant was introduced to him by another colonel. He really couldn't care less about hearing whatever it was that the other man was saying, he had better things to do, reports to file, people to call, but the colonel went on describing her amazing results. Something something excellent leadership, something something astonishing precision and time management... he fell asleep by the third "you'll never believe how great-!" but once he looked up from his paperwork to see her face as she introduced herself he swore he'd seen her somewhere before...

he simply nodded as he shook her hand, her name already forgotten.

"where have we already met eachother?"

"the bar right across from base sir"

Oh.

He carried on like nothing happened - after all it happened before she was his direct subordinate. She was a good lay at that, the woman was fierce to say the least and it scratched an itch he didn't know existed and didn't want to investigate further. Just when he was thinking about that he was snapped out of his daydream.

"so I'll leave her to ya, König, being your assistant will do her good"

HUH? excuse him?

That already annoyed König out of his mind, and the sight of her almost hopeful face really put the last nail in her coffin. She'd be gone by next week. He crossed his arms and leaned back on his office chair and instantly got reminded of the budget that kept his chair creaking every time he had the audacity to even slightly shift - and yet money was eagerly spent on hiring this lieutenant he didn't even need.

He sighed and gave her a condescending look "look. I don't need an assistant to keep track of my schedule or to organise my papers. A coffee in the morning will be enough, half a packet of sugar."

At the lack of a quick response he added "if I were you I'd get out of this "job" real quick. I don't need you."

Just as she recovered from his foul mouth and opened her mouth to speak up, rather annoyed, he interrupted her again "you can go now." and then he resumed reading his papers.

....

"oh com'on könig, just give her a chance!" said the annoying, assistantless colonel with a shit eating grin.

It had already been 3 days, and König could bet his right kidney that he placed her with him on purpose, just to get under his skin, the prick. But instead of crashing out and slapping off the grin from his face he followed his therapist's words, taking a deep breath, which came out as a deep sigh, as he waited by the coffee machine, remaking the shit one he had this morning. "She should start by making my coffee properly." he rambled on, definitely stressed. way too stressed for his salary.

"she could start by giving you tips on strategies that keep your team in one piece."

That was a low blow - the past week Königs team had nearly made it out of a building as it disintegrated because of a communication error. emphasis on communication. An error he'd spot almost too late. He should've known better but still...

They should just give him a bonus every month for the emotional damage of mobbing by the way he was feeling his right hand close in a fist. "and you could start by shutting the fuck up"

That ended it, for now.

que for the infamous assistant to join the conversation.

"colonel König, I have -" she stopped in her tracks as she noted the tension. then resumed, more strong willed, that cheerful look not yet gone from her face "I have already revised and organized the reports you gave me and I was thinking about the-"

"not the right moment lieutenant." he cut her off. "I will hear your nonsense later."

Oh no he didn't. "Look, I'm tired of looking after your fucking meaningless reports you old shite! If you just listened-" she started, a condescending look away from really snapping at him.

"are you quitting right now?" he said, dangerously calm and collected.

"I wish I could" she scoffed.

"I'll help you out then, you're fired. Don't say I never land a hand to the younglings."

This motherfucker ...

[deadlittledogs]

Is being an unashamed gooner not embarrassing to you? I think it’s weird that fujoshis get away with what men that are addicted to degrading fetishized lesbian porn don’t (I’m also looking at u, the entire nation of Japan)

It's simple, nonnie, it's because women are based and men aren't kek. I don't think you can really compare the sexuality of women to the sexuality of men, it's different, and women aren't the ones strong handing the sexual violation of others like men are. How are women ever objectifying men in a way that will have real life consequences? Women aren't the ones contributing to like, 99% of all sexual crimes lol.

Personally, I like that women are a little more open about their gooner shit these days, because the idea that women always need to be chaste and pure and wholesome is a retarded ideal. Women are sexual creatures, and we deserve to feel pleasure and have our needs met and not be shamed for it. Men have had EVERYTHING catered to their sexual interest in the past, god forbid WE have anything slightly titillating.

And ultimately I don't think yaoi is harmful. It's so detached from reality that comparing it to anything real is stupid LOL. I don't think you can compare it to the habits of men at all. Some nerdy autistic girl rubbing one out to Osomatsu in her room is not the same as some dude whacking his shit in the dark to videos of real life teen girls getting molested, ya know?

[ryuzakemo128]

Murder

Pairing: Poly141 x Beta! Combat Medic! Female Reader

Content Warnings: Swearing, Beta! Combat Medic Female reader's callsign is Magpie, disabilities, Depression is explored, and bisexuality erasure is explored too. Female masturbation.

Note: I will be depicting the female reader as at least bisexual. If you don't like that. I suggest that you leave now and find something else to read. No. I won't change my mind on that bisexual part.

To live is to be ready and willing to die. To collapse inside yourself like a wilful song. Ready to leave into the soil neath your feet and to fixate on what you might leave behind. For better or for worse. People examine the good parts of people and only the good parts of them are ever seen by a large amount of people.

People assume things based on what they see, what they hear and what they learn. You should know this by now that lost souls drift away forevermore. You didn’t take the warnings seriously. You never did and you never will.

“If you knew what was out there, you wouldn’t have been so smug about that comment.” You remarked glaring at him. “Another foolish mistake like that? Well, I’ll make sure you redo all of basic training one painful step at a time.”

“Do me a favour, get up off your fucking arse and leave me alone.” You growled into his ear. You didn’t think it would have affected him in any ‘meaningful’ manner. You were just tired of all his bullshit excuses.

You pushed him away, but he didn’t let you go afterwards. Did you really think you could get away with growling in his ear like that? Really love? What on earth were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all?

“I heard worse from men who pretend to be alphas. Your insults and actions prove more about you than it does about me. So, do us both this one delightful favour, turn around, step out that door, and leave me the fuck alone, or I will make sure you learn the real meaning of pain.” You continued to speak, your hand is clenched, and your knuckles are turning a different shade from the stress.

“You can’t take what’s not actually there to begin with. You really think someone would date a beta? The fuck you on?” you didn’t believe a word he said. None of it.

If you were to die alone. Then so be it. You’d die alone inside your shark covered nest in goose feathers. Unwanted by everyone around you. People always leave you. Why hold onto them if they only deem you as temporary?

Price knew of the rough break-up, he didn’t think you’d be changed by it, by you were, a cheating partner does that to someone, especially to someone like yourself. A beta. Loyal. Honest. All to a fault. To your marrow. Down deep buried within your soul.

The conversation over the phone to your ex-boyfriend took the last parts, the last licks of energy you had for the day. Much to the dismay of someone like Soap. Who decided to worm his way to your office, he heard, “You are lucky we didn’t bring a fucking child into this relationship. I would have made sure you wouldn’t see them. Ever!” you growled through the phone. The landline cord wrapped around your knuckles like a priest’s rosary during a prayer.

The clenched fist tightened further, borderline on the verge of letting your own sharp nails dig through your own flesh. To allow the blood to drip down slowly down your tense forearm.

You didn't know what he thought he could get by trying to get under your skin like that. It pissed you off easier than anything Soap or Ghost has ever done. Nothing could come close to what he did to you or the phone calls he makes straight to your office. Always managed to get your new office number.

You were fucking yourself relentlessly that night afterwards, Price interrupted when dildo had slid easily inside you. He ultimately decided the best thing for you is the real thing. It explained the discreet packages he saw the last fortnight.

You didn’t think he would take any notice to them whatsoever. You didn’t think he’d even find out either. That’s thing about you. You tend to clean up before anyone notices anything had gone awry in the first place.

Things would have to be skewed enough for you to leave a large enough mess behind. Rare in its occurrence. You would sooner drown than ever ask for help.

Price pulled the dildo from deep inside your cunt with a loud, wet pop. The sudden emptiness made you gasp and your legs quiver. Your naked body glistened with a thin layer of sweat. Your hands were a surgeon’s.

Soft, smooth, silky, precise, meticulous, and the remnants of saline solution you never been able to wash off. No matter how many times you did. This is what your touch felt like. It’s what it smelt like most of the time. Saved more lives than he would be able to count on both hands. Feet included if he wanted to be extra pedantic about it.

You saw more gunfire, combat zones, wounded, and bloodshed than necessary. Far more, more or less according to anyone with enough common sense. Started at sixteen, Price met you two years after you enlisted at sixteen too. Though you had more of a waiting period than he did. 16 months minimum to be more exact.

He hasn’t forgotten how you saved his arse the first time, restarted his heart by more or less punching him in the chest, yelling, “Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck do you think you’re doing dying like that?”

Nikolai hasn’t stopped thinking about it either. A young woman, barely in her twenties with enough anger to kickstart a heartbeat again? The kind of anger that would have or should have gotten her killed. But you weren’t. Your skills were more than a little ‘useful’ to say the least.

He approached you afterwards, after things were all said and done. “He owed me 20 pounds. Didn’t want him to think he could get out of paying me back by dying.” You stated.

Nikolai looked at Price’s facial expression, which is a mix of dumfounded amusement, shock and a little turned on by you. Not that he would ever admit that you did that to him at the time. It would be more or less like pulling teeth from a reluctant patient.

Now here he stands in your nest forty minutes after your intense conversation with your ex-boyfriend. Someone, Soap hated by the look of things, especially whenever he wedged himself between him and you.

Now that he is no longer in the picture? Price knew exactly what you needed, what you wanted, and most of the time you didn’t need to say a thing. You didn’t have to look up to see his smug grin on his face. You knew it was there. There wasn’t any point in pointing it out now was there?

He had the audacity to lean against your nest’s door frame, you didn’t know what he was going to say to you now. You weren’t going to lie, you were a little nervous to hear what he might say. Not from embarrassment. No. You never got embarrassed. That was never a prime ‘feature’ of yours.

Soap lingered around the door, pretending not to be aroused by how you masturbated in frustration only moments ago. It always fascinated him that you went straight to that instead of punching something. He makes a mental note to join you later.

Because in Soap's mind. 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours'. Who knows...maybe he'll even drag Simon and Kyle to make sure you're too fucked out of your mind to even remember that you even had that bitch of an ex to begin with.

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune

[supremefloof]

tbhx shipping chart but i could be convinced of anything if i read a good enough fanfic

chart before ep. 7 today because i will be late to it 😭hoping none of this ages poorly, looking at u e soul. also assuming all the characters are legally allowed to date each other

I don't have very strong feelings on most of the characters we havent seen yet, so that's why characters like the johnnies, loli, dragon boy, etc. don't have much going on.

I like X/queen bc they look good together but I like even more the idea that queen haaates him. very divorced energy. could also see it as a sibling dynamic

back on my wreck lin ling og nice agenda

moonling is super cute but i also like platonic moonling. like ultimately lin ling still doesn't know her that well and its built on this weird parasocial infatuation. i do think og nice genuinely would know moon better just because of how long they spent acting together.

hear me out on the enlighter ships guys i actually really fw enlighter

imagine if shang chao got enlighter for yang cheng so fast because they were dating

i feel like you would expect X to be the major driver of ships in this fandom from an outside pov but nope. its lin ling of course. lin ling could date anybody

the funny/crack lines on linling/wreck refer specifically to the au where nice is haunting lin ling

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

The “baby ending means hope” thing is also nonsense when you consider the war won’t be really over in at least 7 or 8 years. So yes, this baby will grow up during wartime, and Bix will raise them as a single mother in a imperial occupied planet. It doesn’t sound hopeful to her, it sounds terrifying, actually.

Yeah, that's the point I was making - this would be a terrifying ending if this story viewed the situation from Bix's or the baby's point of view, or even from the point of view of a father who knew and cared about the child's safety and happiness. But the visual language isn't giving "this is a tragically depressing nightmare scenario", it's giving serenity and hope - because it is saying, isn't it tragic that his man will die not knowing if his contribution did anything, when he could have died safe in the knowledge that his genes live on in this child like the Christian God intended??

There are so many ways this is upsetting - it's the callous disregard for the reality of many women in the world right now (go talk to a woman in Gaza or Ukraine or Sudan with a young infant whose father is missing and ask how hopeful and serene they're finding their existence, I dare ya!). But it's also the odd decision of turning a death that was tragic because Cassian didn't know his legacy would live on in giving the Rebellion its first major win and, through that, ultimately lead to the defeat of the regime he spent most of his life struggling against into a death that is tragic because a man dies without knowing he has a child. And yes, that is tragic, but it's so much smaller and more self-involved than the original message, and we never even get the vibe that Cassian is concerned for maintaining his family line or that he wants children, so I don't see what we're gaining here. And it's not even implied to be tragic in that this child will never know its father, oh no - it's just being sad for the man hours.

But again, as a woman, I'm mostly horrified that people need to have it explained that being a single mother with ptsd in a warzone with a vulnerable immigrant status is not a situation that is hopeful or a good place to leave off with someone's story.

[fromchaostocosmos]

From the notes of said post:

Because apparently facts are not a thing.

Because as we know Jews are filthy liars and cheats who control the world /s/ Like even if every Jew in the world had voted I don't think that would be enough and certainly not if every Israeli or Zionist Diaspora Jew.

Friendly reminder that is not how you spell Israel in English.

I have a very strong feeling that if all these people that they are being bigoted or xenophobic or hateful toward the populations of Israel that are not Jewish that would say "no no you don't I have no problem with them, they aren't doing anything wrong. This is not there fault. I only hate the (((Zionists)))"

I think that is a part of why they need for there to be an apartheid in Israel that way the "get away" with being antisemitic because they can hold on to this veneer of respectability, of not being antisemitic, but rather going after the oppressors only.

And if all the non-Jews in Israel live under an apartheid well then can't be held responsible or have done the bad things because they aren't allowed to because apartheid so they are still the good ones and that is why the things being said just sound antisemitic, but actually aren't. It is because the Jews are the ones who are doing the bad things and are in charge and controlling everything.

And if they weren't well we wouldn't sound this way so really it is your fault and you Jews outside of Israel keep supporting them so it is again your fault if you get hurt or whatever because you are supporting the bad guys here.

And so goes the absurd logic that no is buying, but keeps being sold because they just refuse to be honest that hate Jews, hate Jewish survival, hate Jews thriving, hate Jewish joy, and want it to go back to us being terrified all the time with extremely limited options. To go back to being to when they could freely abuse and murder as they pleased and suffer zero consequences.

Something that is a lot harder with the existence of the State of Israel because we can leave to go live there, we rally support there, Israel itself can do things like put external pressure on other governments if need be, and worse come to worse come and rescue us themselves as they have done in past.

That kind of safety net is something we have not had well pretty much since we last had autonomous free rule. So before the Roman Occupation, which is pretty long time.

Ultimately I'm really proud of Yuval Raphael and I greatly admire her strength and resolve.

I think her name is very fitting in a lot ways. Yuval meaning a brook or a stream and Raphael both after the Messenger and from the root word in Hebrew to heal. So her name is essence a brook or stream of healing.

Yuval in Bereshit is credited with creating the kinnor which was a type of lyre or harp and a reed instrument of a sort. So again Yuval is very well named what with her musical talents.

Eden Golan gave voice to our pain and mourning and Yuval has given to our healing and hope.

Both songs have grief within them one a grief that is still fresh and the other a grief that is still there, but does not sting like a new wound.

So for all the hate both these women have gotten and will continue to get, sadly, I look at them and see Jewish strength and perseverance.

And it is a strength and perseverance that has gotten us through some of the most painful moments and toughest moments in history. It is also something that is far older then all these hateful people could ever even try to comprehend.

It was this very strength and perseverance that had us create musical instruments when we were still slaves in Egypt so that we have them ready in order to sing the praises of Hashem when we were taken out.

Something to help keep the hope alive.

We hope, we live, we survive, we persevere, and we thrive. That is our story and that is our history.

עַם יִשְׂרָאֵל חַי Am Yisrael Chai

[lady-nuggetz]

🩷💕.*+°"There's nothing I want more than to shower you in my endless stream of love~! I want you, I need you more than I need anything else in the world! What's living if you aren't there by my side!? Oh please, babydoll... let me give you all the love you deserve... (≧◡≦) ♡".*+°💕🩷

A new Pinkypool ref was long overdue I needed to do better... AND I DID! Three pages of Whitney for YOUR enjoyment! I love my Deadpool Sona! 💞

For those out of the know, here's the Adorable Pinkypool, aka Whitney Wilson aka Vixen Supreme aka Snarky Succubus Number One aka Pinkalicious Powerhouse whatever you wanna call her.

She's an immature girl who only cares about receiving the love and adoration of others rather than actually helping people, a superb and gorgeous bimbo doll if you will! She loves anything and everything pink and shiny, will devour anything looking like an ice cream sandwich, and may or may not have the hots for a certain wall crawler who happens to be the man of her dreams! 💕

She's the ultimate feminine prize, please don't trust her with ANYTHING! Consider checking out her Info Post and Toyhouse for more information! 💖💖

[uncannytimecandy]

SO IS THE VISION VISIONING??? ARE THE PARALLELS PARALLELING?????

I think Elle and Magnus are soooo close to working, just one last thing that can't quite click between them. They are heros and part of a team, it feels wrong to prioritize their relationship. They end up dancing around their feelings and never really open up and fully understand each other. Misplaced resentments and lack of communication. They never put a name to their relationship, neither willing to speak it into existence.

(Ellegaard HATES feeling like a stupid girl in love, an insult to her academic prowess. She will never admit how much she wants to be with him, to both of their detriment. Despite knowing better, she's still hoping it might work out. Situationship final boss.

Magnus genuinely can't envision them together long-term. He likes Ellegaard, a lot. But theres too many differences between them. They would both have to compromise who they were to make the other person happy. Overall kind of non-committal and allergic to emotional self-reflection. He's not going to start something thats doomed to fail. Better to just never talk about it.)

Axel and Olivia are friends first and team members second. Yeah, they have their disagreements. There are some fundamental truths about themselves that ultimately don't mesh well, but its another fundamental truth that they accept each other unconditionally. They also aren't technically 'dating'. They would take things super slow and steady cause no matter what happens they don't see a future completely devoid of the other, that means they have all the time in the world to figure it out.

(Axel doesn't really like romance, or sappy stuff, or anything emotional, but he DOES like Olivia! and that might just be enough. He's in way deeper than he realizes, but doesn't run from it. He's kind of simple minded, why hide that he likes spending time with her? Why does romance have to be this world-changing event? 'Dating' or not isn't going to change anything, it will still always be Axel and Olivia.

Olivia is a bit more hesitant, a little more scared of change. She never really thought about Axel as perfect romance material, but she never really thought about romance at all. And if nothing else he's dependable. He's a constant, she likes constant. He's always had that 'role' in her life anyways, her 'partner', if you will, romantic or not. But hey, she's willing to give it a try, for Axel. The idea of someone else filling that role makes her queasy anyways.)

also when im trying to defeat and take the title of the King of Boomtown, but his STUPID 'girlfriend' keeps wishing him good luck before the match and he literally NEVER LOSES when she wishes him good luck u_u

[crookshanks23]

The Wizard Steel

While I haven't gathered all my thoughts, I have gathered some of them. And boy do I have thoughts.

There are a couple questions that I'm trying to put together, and maybe by just putting them out into the world, y'all can help me.

What exactly does Steel know about Eioghorain and what happened with Soft and Stone? (Involved in these are me trying to piece together a timeline).

And did she know about the experimental shit that Morrow was doing?

Full explanations of where my brain is currently at under the cut.

I'm going to start with the second - Steel certainly doesn't seem like she knows what's going on with Morrow. Accom is "out in the fringes" as it were, and is connected to the Imperium, not the Citadel specifically. And that's what I had always assumed. Her surprise and outrage seemed genuine. But I will say that she said that they would "dismantle" the derrick, not destroy it. We know that she's not one to leave information on the table. She wants to study Ame's curse, she puts the Geass spell on Suvi, etc.

In the Fireside Chat for episode 47, Brennan remarks that it was important for the audience to not just see Steel as a leader, but as "a weapon" and "a special project" unto herself. He remarks, as her,"I have achieved the utmost limits.. I'm the one who signs off on the experimental spellcraft. I'm reading the finished spells. That crosses my desk for sure. Yeah, but you should also still have a sword. That's how much killing we need you to do."

And my brain went. Oh no. She must have known about Morrow then. But maybe not - he's not Citadel after all and it certainly doesn't seem that way.

To my first question - based on the information we have, here's what I know.

Suvi's parents died in 1656, which is the summer she spent at Wren's.

Steel doesn't become the Sword of the Citadel until 1664.

The campaign is currently happening in 1670.

This tells me a couple of things: 1. She didn't have her current station when all the shit went down with Eioghorain and Soft and Stone and the Acadetor. And it tells me that she didn't immediately ascend to that position upon their deaths or anything. 2. Interestingly, she hasn't held this position for very long.

Here are things I'm still curious about:

How Steel got her scars - we know that she got them that summer

How Eioghorain "betrayed" Soft and Stone. He says that he did, but not how, nor what really happened to them. Neither does Steel either - just that they were double agents.

Steel's full version of events as related to Soft and Stone. Clearly this was not a simple thing - she was left at Wren's for a full summer.

Ultimately, here's my take on the Wizard Steel, based on the little backstory we have of her.

She was taken from her family as a young girl to the Citadel based on her talents and wants nothing more than to give back to the institution that has given her everything. She was devastated when she found out that the League of Whispers was in fact, sanctioned, and not that she was saving her home. She approaches life with the things she can do for the Citadel, which Wren confirms for us - it seems her other relationships come second.

I don't think she's a villain at the end of the day. I do think she cares about people. But ultimately, I think she cares about the Citadel more. I understand why people hate her - she's our stand-in for the Citadel itself, which is not a great entity and the arm of an empire. But I appreciate that it's more complicated than that. She's just a person making her way in the world in a way that makes sense to her. And sometimes that's not great when you've been shaped by a problematic institution.

I'm really curious what her conversation is going to look like with Suvi in episode 49. Who knows, I may have to come back and make some addendums after.

[notsadsatan]

RADQUEERS WE NEED TO CLAIM/RECLAIM THE 1978 RAINBOW/LGBT FLAG!!!

this was on my 'old' account that got shadow banned, which is why I am re-posting it!

vv

Today there are probably millions of queer related flags. Most commonly, the 2018 "Progressive Pride Flag" that was made by Daniel Quasar.

Don't get me wrong; the idea behind the flag is beautiful and it makes an impact. This flag includes people of color and transgender communities. But why did this change even happen? Why do we have to keep adding to it?

We are a community of all colors, all orientations, all paraphilias/kinks, all ideologies, all ANYTHING!

Rad Queer is LGBT/queer, Trans ID is LGBT/queer. Queer is anything that isn't the norm. Rad Queer is the ultimate definition. It's also a solution to all those damn letters! /lh /j

I propose we take back the 1978 rainbow flag made by Gilbert Baker.

Here are what the colors stand for.

This encompasses everything. We will not need to add anything new because this is our foundation. This is what started it all. This flag would also encompass people who are neurodivergent or struggling with mental health. We have to unite as one.

We need to be kink and paraphilia friendly. That is what the queer movement started on.

<3

Now, some may ask, "Why"? Why can't we just keep the progressive flags, I mean progressive is what Rad Queers are, no?

We can not fit everything onto a flag. Let me show you an example of something that you may have seen recently.

There are infinate identites, we can not place it all in one flag.

Soon it will end up like this vv

(Link to the flag above) ^^

Just like a rainbow, Rad Queers are infinite.

I really want the LGBT community to accept Rad Queers as their own. I mean the queer community used to not accept ace people, transgender people, Bi people, and others. Why would they stop at Rad Queers?

The queer community used to be this bubble of abled bodied, majority white, cis people. And then we opened up to so many people and now its encompassing almost everyone around the world and I feel like us taking this step and showing people we are also queer. Rad Queer is queer and queer should be radical.

There is a website that has all the information on the creator of the original Pride flag.

I mean, come on, what more do I have to say??? RAD!!!!!

We can not hide behind these "secret emojis" or symbols that no one ever knows about. We have to be heard! We have to let people know that we are here.

Please start using this flag for the support of all Rad Queer people. This is a radical thing to do to show Queer people that we are them and they are us! Soon our ideas won't be radical, and we will be accepted everywhere.

[itz-pandora]

Watching a Sonic Heroes playthrough and having a few thoughts

Other types of mobians can go kinda super, but it's really dependent on the person. Innate chaos energy is important, but long-term exposure could probably also break through that barrier. Either Tails and Knuckles are at a lower version of a super form that's not the same output as Sonic, or Hedgehogs are so silly and their quills are very sensitive to energy changes

Shadow FORGOT that he can go Super and NOBODY TOLD HIM... He probably would've if he knew he could but he didn't LMAO. Sonic & co. probably thought he just straight up didn't wanna because they don't know the extent of his memory loss, but like. I think he straight up didn't know.

In the Japanese version, instead of Metal Overlord calling Sonic his "loathsome copy", it'd more accurately be translated to "my loathsome other self". He doesn't see Sonic as his copy, rather as another version of himself. He probably wasn't intended to be straight up delulu

RRRROUGE protecting Shadow from finding out he's probably a robot... And her talking with Omega... AAAAA... I think it's nice. She's so on the fence every time she tells Shadow anything about himself after SA2, or at least that's what it feels like. Maybe she has a little guilt for Shadow's supposed death after SA2 with her saying he might not be the ultimate lifeform, maybe she thought he didn't value himself enough to save himself after... I'm probably looking into this too deeply

And some notes

LETS GO TEAM CHAOTIX BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA EGGMAN 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I thought it was funny

Team Rose contributed nothing to the plot LMAO but hey gotta make things even 💕

Shadow, Omega, and Metal at the end .. 💕 robot solidarity...

[the-sprog]

Shadow calls him pathetic because of the entire display. Nicky tells him to fuck off. Cue pearl clutching from everyone else and a facepalm from Tails.

"You think you're so much better than me, don't you? And for what?"

"I am better than you. I am the Ultimate Lifeform-"

"Gaia, do you have anything else going on for you? Are you going to hold onto that stupid title forever?"

*glare*

*takes a step towards shadow*

Amy gets between them telling them to calm down. Shadow scoffs and teleports away.

Silence.

Amy starts to worry because with Sonic unreachable and Shadow pissed at them, they're more vulnerable to Eggman's attacks. Nicky tries to reassure them, saying Amy is strong and Tails has his gadgets and Knuckles will help, but Knuckles says he can't play babysitter as he has the Master Emerald to keep safe, especially now that Eggman knows he wasn't at Angel Island, and Shadow will inevitably make that fact known to Rouge, too. So he leaves.

This freaks out Brenda, who takes Nicky's hands in hers. "Nicky... You should come home with us."

"What?" Pulling his hands away.

"You didn't want Anita to join this team, so you understand, don't you? You understand how difficult it was for me when you told me you did."

"Mom-"

"I know you said you weren't in the front lines -that you weren't involved in the fighting- but look at what happened today!"

"It was only because I joined the picnic. I usually stay by myself-"

"But that's not good either! You can't isolate yourself, Nicky! You can't be hanging out only with Tails and Sonic and Amy, or bunker down in you bedroom or in that laboratory of yours."

"I have other friends! I've been going to school in person now that we've settled down! I have... I have friends."

Silence again.

"I think you should go back to where you're staying, mom. It's getting late. Wouldn't want you to travel when the sun's out."

"Nicky-"

"it's been fun, I'm glad we saw each other. Have a good night."

"It's- we'll still be here for your birthday. At least let's do something together, ok?"

"... Sure."

After his mom and sister leave, so does he, not sparing Amy or Tails a glance. Shedding his clothes, he gets his shoes back and puts his contacts, and runs to Shadow's apartment in Central city. The feeling of running freely at whatever speed he wished fills him with immense euphoria, after a day of taking things slow.

He doesn't receive a warm welcome, but he also doesn't get the door slammed on his face. So he forces himself inside, avoiding eye contact with Rouge, and storms off to Shadow's room.

Neither of them have ever been fans of heart to hearts. Shadow likes to monologue, but his feelings are something he keeps tight to his chest. Sonic is the type to stew and mask and explode.

Predictably, they stay silent for a while. At least, until Shadow tells him to say his piece or gtfo. Begrudgingly, Sonic admits his insecurities over Nicky not being good enough. To Shadow, this is bullshit. They're the same person. How could "Nicky" not be enough if "Sonic" is? But Sonic doesn't stop even when Shadow points it out. He talks about the times Tails would look at him with wide eyes when he said something "smart", how Amy would scoff and roll her eyes when he got into a passionate rant over something she deemed too "dorky" for the saviour of Mobius, how people looked at him with strained smiles and weird... Condescension when he tells them he knows quite a bit about maths and coding and biochemistry. Because it's easier if the cocky hero is also dumb, so he needs to play the part because no one wants "Nicky" to save them.

At this point, Sonic is pacing in the room, breathing getting heavier as his voice gets louder.

Shadow doesn't reply, but he sighs. It's not something he can fix, he knows that. And it's not his job to, not really. He could wash his hands of this whole thing, but it feels wrong to abandon Sonic when he's in trouble. Though, this is not the kind of trouble usually Shadow helps him with, he supposes it's the only kind Sonic can't really deal with by himself.

He's not one to beat around the bush, so he says that "Amy is going to be pissed with you. She'll probably cry and scream at you for keeping her in the dark. She's going to want to know and she's going to be heartbroken that you didn't tell her when you met -or at least soon after. It's not like the burden of keeping in touch falls on you -she didn't make any effort to contact Nicky in all these years. But she's going to be upset anyways. She's going to have questions after today. And you're going to tell her-" Sonic opens his mouth but Shadow doesn't let him interrupt. "-because if you don't she's going to create an entire scenario in her head and get upset about things that didn't actually happen. If you tell her yourself, you can also explain yourself and apologies to each other. Say what you told me, and she'll come around. Eventually."

"Ugh. Another feelings talk? She's going to be happy about that at least." Once again, silence. "What do I do with my family? Other than Tails I mean."

Shadow looks at him deapan. "I'm not your therapist, you do know that right?"

"Hey! You've done a pretty good job so far! Just help me out here. Please?"

"Your mom is going to get worried regardless, isn't she? At least, if she knew you were Sonic, that you had brawns and not only brains, maybe she'd get reassured you'll always come out on top. And your sister wants to join the team, but she got pretty scared today. Find her something else to do to help. Like the Chaotix or Miss Vanilla do."

When Sonic goes home, he does so in Nicky's clothes. He doesn't think Amy would appreciate seeing Sonic at the moment, and as Shadow said she probably has questions that it's better for Nicky to answer.

Maybe, if the words come out of Nicky's mouth instead of Sonic's, it'll soften the blow.

After he opens the door he sees her. They look at each other in silence.

It's Tails that breaks it by coming to the entrance. "Sonic-" he sees them and corrects himself. "Oh- I mean, Nicky. Hi." A wave. "I'm just- I'll go. Bye-" but both Amy and Sonic can tell he's behind the door listening in.

He sighs and directs them towards the living room to sit down.

"It's been a while," Amy says.

Caving and writing a plot bunny because I have ideas and now this is too flashed out not to write a fic for it, and I'll forget if I don't write it down somewhere

Timeline I've come up with:

Nicky AU where Sonic has been, for years, telling his parents that he (as Nicky) is part of team Sonic, but he only does coding (like for robots and their communicators) for them and never fights in the front lines.

What happened is that after a few months of Sonic taking over Nicky's body to save the day, Nicky started to take care of the issues himself out of spite. Done with the fact that everyone liked Sonic more than him. It came to a point that Sonic didn't show up anymore, making Eggman (who went to Hedgehog village for Sonic) lose interest with the place.

When he turned 6, he moved away to go live with Uncle Chuck, so he could study somewhere more challenging. He an Amy barely talked anymore, as she would turn every conversation into Sonic praise, worsening Nicky's inferiority complex. During his stay in the bigger city, Eggman attacks and Nicky figures out he's been Sonic all along. And running? Oh, he LOVES running.

However, he starts getting severe social anxiety fueled by a really strong impostor syndrome, causing the start of his selective mutism. For a while, Uncle Chuck is the only one he talks to as Sonic (Nicky still goes to class without issues).

That's when he meets Amy again. She left home shortly after Nicky to go find Sonic and join in his adventures. I imagine that her relationship with her parents wasn't all that great, so she decided to run away when Nicky, her only safe space, left.

Meeting her really hammer in that he's not good enough to be Sonic, as Sonic used to have no issues beating Eggman and his robots to scrap metal.

Not too long after, he meets Tails, who had actually been to Hedgehog village for Sonic as well and knew Nicky and Sonic were the same person. He explains to Nicky (while fixing up the Tornado (who is actually Uncle Chuck's)) that Sonic told him he was from the future and that he couldn't explain what had actually happened in fear of messing up the timeline and creating a paradox. He said that everything will be explained in due time and that he's sure Nicky will figure everything out.

At first, Sonic talked to Tails, too. But it was clear that Tails, just like Amy, had a very specific idea of how Sonic was. Scared of disappointing Tails by being too much like Nicky, he stops talking with him as well. When Uncle Chuck dies, they take the Tornado to start traveling and fighting Eggman. This is when he tells his parents that he joined Team Sonic, saying that he wanted to repay them after they helped him stop Eggman. In exchange to letting him come, he gave them the Tornado.

He continues his studies remotely, still as Nicky if course.

It isn't until the end of the whole Angel Island Death Egg situation that Sonic speaks for the first time in forever. The whole adventure, the emeralds, helping Knuckles, it all made him feel... like himself. Like for the first time he actually was Sonic. Knuckles never learns that Sonic used to not speak, because he was under the impression they were just busy with Eggman and that Sonic was simply a hedgehog of few words until he got closer to people.

Shadow only learns about it when he meets Classic Sonic. The time shenanigans is also how Nicky was becoming Sonic.

Until his mom, Brenda, and his sister, Anita, come surprise visit them. The team had kind of settled down, mostly to give Tails an actual workshop. Afterall, between the Tornado, Shadow's chaos control, and Sonic's running they had no issues getting to wherever was getting attacked.

When Amy opens the door to see Brenda, she's confused, but excited. Before she can say anything wrong, Sonic invites them in, telling them he'll go get Nicky, and pulling Amy to the side to ask her to just go along with whatever Nicky says. She doesn't get the chance to ask how he knows where Nicky is and why his mom thinks he's at their house, but she agrees.

Sonic goes to tell Tails, warning him about Any possibly blowing their entire cover.

As Nicky, Sonic puts on glasses and an oversized sweater. He changes his iconic shoes (with a non small amount of reluctance) and takes things slow.

Amy is... Conflicted. She's happy to see Nicky, truly, but she's not happy that he's lying to his mom and sister. She doesn't understand why he's doing it, as to her it doesn't seem like him. She remembers him a lot... Meeker. Smart and nerdy, but kind of a coward. She'd always thought he'd have gotten along with Tails if they'd had the chance to properly meet, and there they are. Acting like they've been friends for years.

When Shadow shows up, Sonic thinks he's going to fuck it all up. Amy accidentally saves him by introducing him as Nicky, to which Tails explains he's the one that deals all their tech related problems and needs.

Shadow sees through it, raises an eyebrow, and asks if they're fucking with him. They assure him not. Then Brenda and Anita introduce themselves and Shadow takes Sonic aside to get a better explanation. Which he gets in the form of panicked rambling. Shadow agrees not to rat him out, but he also doesn't agree to cover for him.

Shadow tells everyone that he was supposed to meet Sonic for a run, but that the hedgehog bailed on him to go help the Chaotix. Internally, Sonic cusses him out because he knows he'll have to pay then for their silence.

Amy tries to get him to stay, as they'd made plans with Knuckles to have a picnic nearby, but Shadow claims to have some GUN paperwork to deal with. Sonic knows it's bullshit. He knows Shadow doesn't do paperwork.

But she convinced Brenda and Anita to join them.

Nicky meets Knuckles, gets his hand fake crushed (which he lets his mom bandage and ice) and yells at Anita when she says she wants to be part of Team Sonic, too.

Of course, that's when Eggman attacks. Seeing Nicky, Eggman immediately targets him. For old times' sake, he says.

Any tries to contact Sonic but he's not available, so she contacts Chaotix, but they say he's not with them. Tails tells her to call Shadow, and she -reluctantly- does.

Shadow helps save Sonic, making it clear that he's going to hold this over his head forever.

Anita is distraught.

Amy asks Shadow why he said Sonic was with Chaotix.

Sonic tries punching Shadow for his shitty lie. He doesn't succeed, as he's determined not to use his speed, and Shadow gets him in a headlock. Calmly, he says he doesn't know why Sonic would lie to him, but the hedgehog is not his problem. He lets go of Nicky, who gets fussed over by his mom.

Tails, who's been keeping this secret for years, decides that throwing Sonic under the bus to save Nicky some grief is justified. So, he tells them that Sonic has severe social anxiety and does do well meeting new people in these kinds of circumstances. And that he's never met parents of friends he's made, and he couldn't face them.

On the one hand, Sonic gets upset at Tails for telling everyone about it because yeah it's kind of based on the truth. But on the other, it's his mom and sister (and Amy but she kind of already knew. Shadow also knew but not the reason behind it all. So he knows he's going to have to answer questions about it) so he pushes it down.

This is all I have for now actually lol idk how this fic would continue, but I think this start is kinda good. Maybe Eggman fucked up too much and Sonic reveals himself. Idk.