#i don't know if I'll ever post him again
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sometimes you gotta do harmlessly impulsive shit, for your mental health. reminds you that you have free will.
#eliot posts#tonight i drove around for 45 minutes and stopped at a diner halfway through#walked in in my pajamas at midnight and ate#i felt at peace for a bit#i think the new mood stabilizers are working. or maybe im just comin outta this depressive episode on my own bc bipolar Does That sometimes#i don't feel GOOD per se but i'm capable of WANTING stuff again#i didnt realize how much i missed being able to want things#there's often something so healing so freeing about driving for me#sometimes i just wanna drop out of college get my cdl and become a truck driver#but i think if i had to do it to survive that would just extinguish the sparks of joy it gives me#in high school me and my best friend said we would take a road trip together some day#but i don't know if it'll ever happen because life just gets in the way we hardly get the chance to just plain hang out#he's two years younger than me and i'll be graduating college before him#and when i graduate i wanna move far far away and it's not like he'll follow me#earlier today i took a nap and i had a sweet dream#i was in high school and i asked a girl out on a date. i don't remember what the date was#but i was so nervous she didn't like me or didn't have a good time#til we got back in my car and she asked me not to drop her off back home yet#she asked if we could just drive around through the backroads because she wanted to spend more time alone with me. we did that for an hour.#i'm aroace but every once in a blue moon a part of me wants something like that#but who am i kidding i probably wouldnt do that even if i were allo. i have a hard time making friends and i need a lot of time alone#i dunno#tonight i listened to soft folk/indie rock music mingling with the sound of my car on the empty highway#last night i went on a shorter drive on the same empty highways and blasted loud punk music#and screamed and screamed and screamed wordlessly til my throat burned. and i felt a sense of catharthis that i'd been missing for so long
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orpheus sucked. i've said it before and i'll say it again: if you loved her you wouldn't look. rip to eurydice girl if you were married to ME i'd walk straight out of hell and keep walking and if i never saw you again it would be okay because i'd know you were alive and carry that with me and none of the rest of it would matter because THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS and anything else makes my skin crawl. your husband fuckin SUCKSSSSS dude i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry an ugly bitch would do you like that i'm SO s
#is this a bad faith reading? yes. is it in response to people being condescending about this myth again? yes#the last time i posted about this a bunch of classics majors were like you've gotten the myth wrong#there are X reasons he looked back that didn't have to do with him being a little bitchass who can't follow clear directions#but listen. the only fucking thing people ever say is how he looked back out of love#and lemme shout it from the mountaintops#I DON'T WANT TO BE LOVED LIKE THAT!!! I DON'T WANT TO LOVE LIKE THAT!!!!!!!#IT SUCKS!! EURYDICE YOU CAN DO BETTER. CALL ME#there's too much adam in me for this nonsense. simply Do Not Look Back#JUST FOLLOW DIRECTIONS. YOU SELFISH BASTARD.#IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING SEE IT THROUGH THEN DON'T GO TO HELL IN THE FIRST PLACE.#to Me this is way more about selfish stupidity and possessiveness in the face of grief you refuse to process#which is actually compelling!! and interesting to explore!!#but no. god forbid. we have to suffer through a million poems of 'in that last moment eurydice knew that she was loved'#NO. FUCK OFF. SHE KNEW THAT THE SECOND HER HUSBAND SHOWED UP IN HELL FOR HER.#IN THAT FINAL MOMENT SHE KNEW HE WAS A LITTLE BITCHASS WHO CAN'T FOLLOW THROUGH ON ANYTHING. I'LL KILL YOU#this rant is obnoxious but please know i'm making my own post so as not to put tags on the post of someone who is loudly wrong about this#because i am being polite. kind of.
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For funsies, Mera prediction for if he shows up again. Here's how I think he'll be
Either 1) he'll be so fucking tired that he'll be in a state where he makes the most clear decisions. that whole "body choosing to focus on the essentials and shut everything else down" and the thing it focuses on is his job. Also his anxiety has spiked making him more alert and fidgety, but ready to get stuff done
2) Plot twist! Somehow, Mera appears well rested. How? They gave him a nap room and it's the best thing he's ever been given
3) Mera is so fucking tired that he's making quick snap decisions and not paying much attention. Somehow, this helps our Heroes in the moment
4) Mera is so fucking tired that he can't make any clear decisions. The plot twist is that he's receiving advice/suggestions from Nagant
5) Mera is the same as he was before being given the position of chairman. Still the same level of tired. Nothing has changed. He's gonna do his best 👍
#you ever been in that state of sleeplessness where you can't even feel sleepy anymore#and you just suddenly become awake and alert#but you know that if you rest your head at any point during the day you'll be out for the count?#thats mera option number 1#anyway#this was for fun#and under the assumption that at some point we'll get a small pov switch to the hc and see whats going on there#and the pov switch to them would be centered on doing something in the moment to help the heroes#(e.g. missiles?? releasing some new equipment?? a newly made tool to help the heroes?? idk smthg)#bnha#mera yokumiru#bnha manga spoilers#i'll just reiterate real quick that I've accepted i won't see mera again and if i do then that'll be great#and if we don't then i already expected not to see him again#im fine with it#this is just for fun#mettys posts#metty posts#but also if we could involve lady nagant in this it'd be great and also she could meet mera and-
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vent post time pardners
part of my issues with the way I experience time is that one day to everybody else can feel like literal WEEKS for me. It's not every day, but some days, especially when I spend most of it writing or inside, not interacting with people, I feel as if I've gone multiple days/weeks without talking to anybody.
this then exacerbates my issues/fears that if somebody doesn't talk to me much for a day, they suddenly hate me. so if I'm perceiving one day wherein I don't talk to people much as more like 10-11 days, all of a sudden I'm panicking that everyone hates me and never wants to talk to me again because I've only said maybe 2-3 things to them over the course of what is, IRL, only one day. because I'm perceiving that to be ten times longer instead of the actual span of time that it is.
does this make literally any sense. is this like, a common occurrence for other people? i would like for it to stop pls, because it really fuckin tanks my mental health and i'm So Tired of that happening.
(more vent in the tags)
#tw vent post#is this an ADHD thing?#i just really need to stop tying my emotional state to the idea of how many people like me still also#like i need to stop relying on other people to make myself feel better#but I also don't know how to do THAT because so much of what makes me feel alright is like. sharing things with people.#so i don't know how to sort that out and make it so i'm not tying all of my emotional state to how people respond to me yknow?#it doesn't help that when i get into these one-day-is-twenty-days states my brain starts scrambling and i stop thinking coherent thoughts#i think what i really need is just. A Therapist lmao#but for now i will simply shout it into the tumblr void as i do#sometimes it's nice to just get the feelings out so they stop burning a hole in my chest yknow#none of this is helped by the fact that i feel like i can't talk to any of the people i actually LIVE WITH about how i feel#because my dad while trying is not super supportive of my gender exploration which makes me wary to talk to him about ANYTHING#even though i know he would be able to help me out with mental illness type stuff#i just don't trust him even though i love him so much#and ofc i don't want to burden any of my friends with any of this shit because none of it feels substantial. like i know i'll feel better#tomorrow and i won't ever even think about this again because that's just How I Am#but right now i just want it all to stop. lobotomy sounds so sexy and cool /hj
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rambly ramble
what do you do when you create a onceler who is a normal aged onceler but then camp weehawken happens and you've only just created this character but you wanna join so you make him 14 and throw him in there and that's where he gets all his character development. but then the au ends and he's no longer a kid at summer camp so you have to actually do stuff with his character as an adult so you post stuff on his askblog and then his character goes the completely wrong way and you have no idea how to reverse it
#not that he really had Character Development in weehawken he just sort of stood there but like#at least with him i feel like i could get into his character? like if someone asked him a question i would be able to instantly know how#he would answer#but mainverse version...........who even is that guy#idek#do i just disown my son and never use his blog again or do i create a different blog with a new version of him or do i just try and change#him as he is or should i just not take a onceler askblog so seriously#oh my god it's because I'm out of my dream pop phase like all i listen to atm is the worst music you've ever heard like literal noise#wait#okay i had an idea but it just disappeared rip#but yeah guess I'll just play constant dream pop into my ears and hopefully my son will appear in my head as a guy with an actual character#ramble#omg what was that tiktok screenshot about the parent saying they just don't vibe with their second child and it's like why would you post#that where your child could grow up and see that#anyway that's me with dreampop <3
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I'm... I'm weak.
#erda#og post#guys guys guys guys!#i could list at least 10 reasons why this scene is perfect#1. “we haven't done anything that needs justification” “we could fix that”#2. the fact that this is the first time she's worn a dress so far (and i'm pretty sure she only ever does it again at their wedding)#3. the very smooth arm around the shoulders#4. the little pause she makes when they start talking specifically about the two of them having sex#it's not so much shyness or awkwardness as it is just the need for a moment to adjust since this is all very new after years of loneliness#(in fact it's always very noticeable how comfortable they are with each other regardless of what they're doing or saying)#5. the way they laugh and lean closer together instinctively#6. the three very slow and small kisses that are barely anything more than just brushing their lips together#7. the way she startles and pulls away as if she forgot everything else#8. the way she starts to object but interrupts herself right before he kisses her again#9. the sync between their movements#10. the way he cradles her head and doesn't let go#11. the way he also strokes her hair while he's doing that#12. THE FOREHEAD TOUCH#13. “you're so beautiful when you smile“ ”but i don't know if i'll find it in myself to smile again“ ”you will. i'll show you happiness“#14. her: it's rotten work. him: not to me. not if it's you#she's so hurt from all the bullshit that's happened to her that she thinks happiness is forever lost to her#and he's just trying to give them both the chance they deserve#15. “let's build our life together. i need it just as much as you do.”#16. “you'd know that even though i'm not smiling you made me feel things i didn't know before”#17. “i'd like to [be with you]. but i think that i can't be happy. nor can i make you happy.”#18. the way he clearly disagrees but didn't speak over her only hugged her#19. another forehead touch and 20. then he kissed her brow#c'mon are you trying to kill me?#congratulations! you broke intimacy down to its barest essentials#look at that! a perfect twenty bc that's what this scene is
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how is jason both an older brother figure and a father figure? good question. have you ever played obey me
#unfollow me rn i'm hyperfixating#i won't share content about it other than this post but i can't promise i won't randomly hop in the tags of a post and mention a character#but if i say lucifer it's referring to my friend luci i do not give a shit about the obey me character and will never mention him#not tagging fandom or character#sorry about all the tags rip#allfatherly guidance#also yes i know there are. issues with obey me. i've played the game. i've seen the problems. i'm hyperfixating anyways#whatever i'm practically a pjo blog you guys are familiar with media with Oddities c'mon#also to that one person who follows me who's dni includes obey me fans i'm so sorry#bonus pologies for tags tag#also i will elaborate on what the fuck this means if asked OR if i feel like it#bonus BONUS pologies for tags tag woah#i cannot shut the fuck up wow#still into jj though! if i make original posts or reblog any fandom content it will probably still be about him#i will come out of my shitty demon dating sim induced haze if i see him he's more than just a character to me he's like a person#it's like how i'll reappear from the woods if i hear my children calling my name yk#wow i literally don't shut up i should make a tag for when it gets this bad so people can block it so tumblr will warn them of my tags#or so they don't have to see what i rambled about for so long it needed a tag ever again#i want it to be a reference to this post actually but like so stupid that nobody who knows this post or even the context would get it#so not even i'll get it later#so uuhhhhhh block uhhhhhhhhhhh#the devil is the father of fathers and brother of brothers and god is satan's chippering son#← block that one that's for if i ramble on for like 20 fucking tags like now that's my shut the fuck up god tag#literally just block it and never read the rambling it's not worth it the post wouldn't be worth it#i should make a pinned post just to tell people to block that tag#could explain anything about who i am (probably should considering i haven't even officially posted my name) but no#it's just gonna be like ↓BLOCK THIS TAG↓ and the only tag is that#actually i'm gonna make that pinned. first i have to figure out how to pin a post
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#it's just a stream of consciousness#that i don't want to post so it can be reblogged#but i think i'm really okay with not being in a relationship ever again#not with someone new#either what was broken is fixed#or i stay alone#and i'm okay with that#sure i miss the physical aspects#but i'm okay#i have my soulmate#whether i'll grow old with him or not#that doesn't matter#but i have him and no one else will ever change that#and i know i won't be able to commit to anyone else#i've tried#i was meant to love one person and that's it#and at the same time i know no one else will be able to love me#i won't let them#it's a relief to write this down#it means i've figured shit out#i do miss sex tho lmaooooo#ignore this#ignore me
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5654d68aec67b2ddae7685cfa977c936/94529d5c63b11153-e7/s540x810/cbadd606b146c2a4032ef49b6dba1877f6f123d3.jpg)
Welp... looks like I've got a new dog! Found this fella wandering around near a gas station after being abandoned by his owners. He's very old, completely blind and probably completely deaf, and absolutely covered in fleas... and yet is one of the sweetest puppins I've ever met. Gave him a good washing (pic from before that, but it's the cutest one lmao) and he's looking much better! Name is still pending though, haha
#Not hk#Blabbing.txt#Sighs... where to begin#Well to start I'm feeling a lot better. I'm glad I took that break#I'll start posting again over the next few days ^^#As for mr puppin... he's quite an interesting case#He doesn't have a chip so we don't know anything about him- nor who his owners are#Tho if I'm lucky the security cams will have picked up their license plate >:)#They're not ever gonna touch this dog again but I'll happily turn their asses in if I get the chance#But that also means I have to start from the ground up if I'm gonna adopt him officially#Most importantly... we're visiting the vet tomorrow beforeanything#Because unfortunately I suspect this dog might be suffering more than he's capable of showing.#However. If he does have some time left...#I'm genuinely excited to learn about and communicate with this little guy!!#Being both blind and deaf means building a reliable language is gonna be both a very difficult and very unique challenge#I've learned that loud taps and knocking is enough sound and/or vibration for him to pick up on#It's how I showed him where his water was- he couldn't find it himself since he couldn't smell it#More importantly tho is getting him to socialize with other dogs. Luckily Tiger- my maltipoo- is a great dog to start with#(the problem will be convincing him to accept this new dog lmao)#The fleas are a huge bummer tho. Gotta get him checked for allergies then actually start treating the darn thiggs#Which is gonna take a long time. Worst yet is he's clearly been neglected and is really craving attention :(#It might be ok to let tiger hang out with him but I can't let him in the house without fear of contaminating everything#But after all that I think just being with another dog will do him so much good#We can work from there :)#But for now... I think that's all I've got to report#I'll prolly post an update soon! Along with a proper name hahaha. Torn between Benjamin Teddy and King (Kong)#Have a lovely day everyone ^^#OH and yeah I'm always open to advice!!!
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I initially wanted to make this right after KHIII came out, when people thought Sora was being hesitant in the paopu sharing scene (though I did make a text post of this comparison that got a lot of notes). In some ways, I think the paopus scene is an evolution of the dock scene... which has Sora agreeing to share the paopus with her, when he didn’t agree to “take the raft and go, just the two of them”, near two years ago mean all the more:
Though I think even here, he really wanted to be with her (he’s just a shy fourteen-year-old, who also didn’t want to leave their best friend behind).
Because you got this scene, where Sora’s thinking over her earlier words... and it sort of seems like the dolls he has in that boat are supposed to represent him and Kairi, like he thought about doing the same thing himself (and the KH orchestra even used this scene in SoKai montages):
And, of course, there’s also this scene at the end of KH1: Sora’s going to save Riku, because it’s the right thing to do, but he wants to be with Kairi at the end of it all:
But back to comparing the first scene with the following scene:
And let us not forget, that Sora was the one who wanted to share paopus with Kairi first, because he was worried she’d choose Riku over him:
...And then Kairi saw what he drew and responded:
And Sora eventually saw that response and was happy about it, and he mirrored what happened with Kairi, which makes it one of Nomura’s favorite scenes:)
And don’t even get me started how in Re:Mind, Sora finally goes on an adventure with Kairi--just the two of them:
...And purposely spends his last moments with her and just her, really:
#long post#I'm so sorry for this long post guys. I kept wanting to add a 'read more' part... but then I just couldn't#so please ignore this one long post if it bothers you and I swear I won't do anything like it again#sokai#though tbh... now I think Sora's 'hesitance' is such a non-thing! The novels don't even mention he looks shocked or anything. lol#really I think that was a natural reaction to have in the paopu scene. given the situation#also... some people read Kairi's saying 'I just want to be a part of your life no matter what. that's all' as really romantic and her#pushing him into it. but I don't?#I feel like she's saying it DOESN'T have to be romantic. but with a war coming... she wants to try and use the paopu charm to protect sora#and be in his life (meaning they survive it or whatever) no matter what their bond is#and I think that works with the paopu scene actually not being the big love realization. but later the tunnel of light scene being that#anyway... otp 5ever and ever#and I also feel like he takes her back to the islands at the end because kairi wanted to know she could always come back there#and he listened to her words back then! -sobs-#I've been hit by the sokai feels again guys... I'll never fully be able to escape them. and nor do I want to tbh
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I have a Sasori relationship take for y'all to consider
So most people seem to really like the trope of Sasori treating his SO a bit like a doll? Either calling them his "doll" or caring for them like one by brushing their hair and so forth. In general treating his SO like a cherished item to hold onto forever.
And I like this idea a lot! I think it suits him very well and it's really cute to see it played out.
But I also think... What if... Sasori wants to be treated as a doll himself?
Think about it. Sasori has mentioned to Kankuro that it was his goal to become "a real doll"
And why would he want that exactly? Probably because of how dolls ( puppets ) are treated in Suna.
They're handmade treasures passed down through generations. Being lovingly maintained by their owners, essentially forever. He probably grew up watching his grandmother care for her collection of puppets and longed to receive that treatment from someone. They're never abandoned. Never left to rot. Never forgotten. ( Hells considering the environment he was brought up in, that was possibly the only type of affection he ever witnessed )
So of course he would be inclined to treat a loved one that way! But it's also how he would want to be treated.
He wants to be held, and cared for and cherished forever. And if someone could give him that he would give them everything he is in return 🦂 ❤
Or at least that's a thought that occurred to me I dunno lemme know what y'all think
#I don't think I've ever posted a headcanon on here before?#This thought just kinda clicked in my brain yesterday and I couldn't stop thinking about it#The thought of Sasori growing up watching his caretaker give more love and attention#to a bunch of dolls and puppets then they gave to him#And how it would make him so jealous and empty inside#that he would make it his life goal to become a doll#just so he could feel that love and attention for himself#💔#I dunno I could go on but I'll stop#Akatsuki#Sasori#naruto headcanons#akatsuki headcanons#relationship headcanons#headcanons#or who knows maybe I'm just projecting on Sasori again and should just shut up and go to bed#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I've run into a brand new problem surrounding the moth currently plaguing my staircase
I yam so hungry :(
#its like 3 in the morning anyway but oooooh my tummblys a'rumblin#I'll just avoid the hunger by going to sleep#on one hand I want the moth to be gone tomorrow because I don't want to see or deal with it ever again#but on the other hand I understand that matter cannot simply cease to exist and if the moth is no longer in the staircase#well then it must have gone somewhere else in the house#at least when its in the staircase I know its in the staircase#once at my old house a giant moth flew into my room and just sort of disappeared amongst my Stuff#and I hadn’t seen it for days so I assumed that it either left or died#but then one day#I feel something large Thwack against the back of my neck#and I appropriately lose my shit#and then I threw a shoe on it where it landed on the floor and stacked several books ontop of the shoe#until my dad got home and I made him get rid of it#anyway goodnight have sweet dreams everybody#ghost posts#text#not mdzs
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Ok, idk wtf they were doing with that Justin Bieber intro on Buzzcocks but I thought it was the fucking Woody Woodpecker show theme song so it was clearly shit.
#Ok it wasn't the worst I've ever heard I just really don't know Justin Bieber#And I don't like him either#I kinda wish it had been the theme song from the Woody Woodpecker show just bc I want to see Noel Fielding do that#Never Mind the Buzzcocks#S1E6#But of the new series which obviously#It's definitely not the same or as good (esp. bc I barely know any of the musical guests or the music) as the original#But it keeps me entertained I guess so I can't complain#Text post#Personal#Tbf there's no way I'll even get close to thinking it's anywhere near as good until they get Tom Robinson back as a guest again#Which is about as likely as pigs flying#Tom Robinson#Tom Robinson Band
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will roland as winston in season 5 episode 1 of billions
to make this under five minutes, i trimmed off the beginning of the first scene (in which winston doesn’t speak or do anything besides Be Present) and the very end of it in which taylor talks with wendy for a moment, in favor of keeping the beginning of the second scene with wendy’s staged brawl and the end of it in which taylor talks with wendy for a moment and winston is visible in the background. you can see the untrimmed version of that first scene here thanks to @winstonbillions in which basically the axe cappers are assholes for a while longer than seen here.
#hopefully we won't get All Hands On Deck scenes like this in future eps and it'll be easier to pare down the content....quantent#b/c i like to just be able to have it all available On Here asap and if i had to split it up natch i'd have to wait 24 hrs between posting..#i can't say we're missing out on anything in what i trimmed except the taylor exchange lmao....oh epic dude who's name i forget is joshing#around about the concept of him having a period....now he's getting amicably And homophobically razzed....basking in the content lol#don't miss out on: bonnie setting herself up to [fart sound] at the tmc crew lmao. well and i guess a bit that was cut was the implication#that axe cappers are at least also attempting to target taylor in particular w/ hostilities and unprofessionalism....shocking#oh wait Important Tags before i get too ahead of myself#winston billions#will roland#loving the winstache i honestly am that's zero percent ironic. oh and loving that right out of the gate s5 was like ''ben is calling out All#Quants like 'i hate your vibes''' lmao please!!! and i'll defend winston's right to again be Correct in that he's probably better at math#than anybody but say idek taylor we're assured they're also Superlative at this shit so who knows. But Anyways don't fight w/ tuk lmfao#dare i say maybe even moreso than ben he's Easiest To Get Along With!! whom knows. but it's not necessarily any kind of death knell here#if you're starting out with some friction in Billions World?? you might continue to have that Conflict but also you might be 3 seconds away#from becoming Unlikely Friends and/or lovers. absolute coin toss. i suppose it Could also go absolutely nowhere but. winston's in every ep..#who knows what'll happen!!! befriend both tuk and ben though....they're the best people there. lmfao billions was like hey here's ben right#away calling out the quants as rancid-vibed but here's winston amenably meeting fuckin dollar bill lmao stoppp.....but anyways#honestly why is wendy so incapable here what did you think was gonna happen. did you really need to ask for advice to get the bright idea of#like hey give em a pizza party movie night or smthing! like this is the first time ever some even-former-rival newcomers haven't been immedi#ately embraced.....but i doubt also that wendy didn't just also think it'd be Strategic to establish some rapport with lauren. don't love it#but whatever. did anybody even do the homework lol.......seriously like what did you expect to happen here. u didnt mediate At All lmfao#this is billions for you!!!!! off the shits and doesn't always care to make the most sense. for example: how does this metaphor even apply??#anyways....hilariously in the past couple of weeks i had a dream where kelly aucoin (dollar bill) showed up as (im p sure) himself.....while#my Dream Plot was [trying to solve this murder situation and it was kinda tense]....then later on sarah stiles (bonnie) shows up as herself#in a totally different dream where a) i'm supposed to take a Group Pic for her on her film camera and i struggle to get everyone in the shot#and then b) she goes off somewhere and i'm like oh god damn how am i gonna return the camera...messing up every part of this#anyways fuck i love to see my boy regardless of him being immediately At Odds w tuk and ben!!! his voice...the Energy....ilu#was worried mafee was Just giving him a :/ look there but there was the quirk of a smile at the end. You'd Fuckin Better...did dan soder get#to have fun meeting this actual wrestling person i know nothing about. no need to act....billions just feels free to be insane All The Time#anyways like i said i love the winstache!!! i love him!!! hoping future eps have more intra-tmc interactions. let taylor talk to the tmcers
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Y'know what? Coward move on my part to not give bt3-era Rozzie long hair in that drawing I did last month.
#I know I was like ''haha I'm dilf projecting'' but I don't think it was Enough dilf projecting with the short hair#I was just having a Gender Moment™ where long hair made me uncomfy#if I ever draw the old men again I'll maybe give Rozzie long hair. not 100% sure if I'll commit but the idea exists#adds to the energy I want him to have#ok google : how to make your s/i give of 80s hair metal / glam rock energy without actually making them look like a member of a hair band#roz posts#s/i
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Dammit
Now I want more fight threads.
#text post#Off Air (ooc)#;wishlist#(just like)#(i haven't had many on here)#(and i'd love to explore al's brutal and sadistic side again)#(to let him just fuck people up)#(but i don't follow many people that al could fight)#(which i sometimes think about changing)#(but i dunno if i'll ever follow a vox or val blog)#(i'd love to explore the shit between either of them and al)#(but i'm also not super comfortable with what they can be associated with)#(which sucks cuz i know that there's some great people writing some great things as those muses!)#(just)#(agh)#(i want al to fuck people up and let me mess around with his fighting abilities and shit)#(just can't rn)
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