#i don't know i'm just rambling
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I like how the flower kinda represent both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng depending on the characters.
For Xie Lian, Hua Cheng literally replaces the flower during his tale. He has the sword in one hand and Hong Hong'er in the other. When he crushes the flower,it's probably foreshadowing for Wuming's near disperse and at the end of Book 4/6 (depending on what you read), the red flower is a signs of hope for Xie Lian and a symbol the reader automatically associated with Hua Cheng because it is red
On the other side of that, you have Hua Cheng's tale which is him protecting a flower from the rain with the umbrella which is again replaced by Xie Lian being protected from the rain with the umbrella. Hua Cheng have butterflies mainly used to protect Xie Lian.Hua Cheng didn't pick the flower in his name because he saw himself as the flower but because of Xie Lian, right ?
And you could also interpret Xie Lian crushing the flower, from Wuming's point of view as crushing himself and his hope ?
I don't know, I just think it's cute I think how they are both the flowers.
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#i don't know i'm just rambling#heaven official's blessing#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian
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Aizen, Calligraphy and Poems (?)
In addition to getting into fountain pens, I have also started to read waka poems, which are Japanese poems. While I’m personally not interested in calligraphy as a hobby, reading about the historical aspects of Japanese calligraphy and waka poems made me curious about Aizen’s relationship with calligraphy, and by extension - poetry. We don’t know much about him in relation to those two things other than:
Aizen enjoyed Japanese calligraphy/considered it a hobby
He was so good at calligraphy that he was teaching it at the academy
Hinamori began to practice calligraphy during his captaincy and he held monthly calligraphy sessions for his squad
Aizen had a column in the Sereitei Communication called “The Yin of the Pine Needle”
Japanese calligraphy is a subject often taught to children in elementary school, but it has even older historical roots tied to professional warriors of the bushi rank (samurais are a part of this ranking system). These warriors were trained in bujutsu – were bu means war, and jutsu means technique, and budo. Budo doesn’t quite have a direct translation, but some describe it as the “martial ways to peace.” Even within budo, there were two “emphasis” students needed to focus on: 1) bu which were war and combat strategies, and; 2) bun which were Japanese literature and fine arts. Warriors of the highest ranking were expected to learn all of this, and some students were even expected to learn the flute (shakuhachi), Noh dancing (shimai) and flower arrangement (kado – which was one of Unohana’s hobbies!).
Japanese calligraphy, known as shodo was considered a vital part of a warrior’s training – so it is of no surprise that the Soul Academy, would incorporate it in their curriculum as a class, in addition to kido and sword fighting training.
But why is shodo so important to a warrior’s learning?
Well to many warriors, if sword fighting was considered a reflection of one’s mind (see my post here about Aizen and Kyoka suitgetsu), then shodo is the physical representation of the artist’s spiritual force. Shodo is more than just writing – it is a visible way to sense a warrior’s mental and physical condition. For centuries, leaders in Japan were expected to be strong calligraphers, and some of the best sword fighting masters in history, such as Miyamoto Musashi, were also regarded as some of the best calligraphers of their time.
Each brush stroke must be precise and unwavering – there isn’t room for corrections. An artist must be decisive once the brush hits the paper. The same can be said for sword fighting. You do not swing your sword “hoping” you will get a strike; you swing your sword because you are certain you will strike. Just like in any of the combat arts Shinigami must learn, mistakes are ultimately final in shodo.
Just like handling a sword, holding a brush is also a particular skill. Some teachers in shodo will grab brushes out of their students hand to check their grip. But the trick is that you can’t have too tight of a grip, as your brushstroke becomes rigid and your writing becomes static. Thus, you must be concentrated, but also relaxed. Shodo has an emphasis on balance and flowing, dynamic characters, just like with sword fighting. It’s why there’s often difficulty in painting a straight line, because your mind and body must work together as a unit. Once your brush hits the paper, your hand must paint without hesitation – your thoughts are free as they are focused on the “here” and “now” of painting. Aizen, who had a strongly concentrated mind, was also relaxed – his fight with the Gotei 13 in Fake Karakura Town is an example of this.
I already talked about this in a previous post, but Kyoka suigetsu acts as a metaphor for visualizing before striking. Shodo has a similar concept as well. Skilled artists should be able to visualize the kanji they’ll paint, and then make the decision for the first brush stroke. It would not surprise me if the Soul Academy then made calligraphy an elective because for students to be relatively decent at calligraphy, it would be a safe assumption that they would be good with a katana. Both require accuracy and skills to be effective.
Aizen was already a master sword fighter, so it is then, of no surprise, that his calligraphy skills were also unparalleled. While it’s a shame we don’t see any of Aizen’s calligraphy work, he was recognized in his skill in it that he became a teacher. I also wouldn’t be surprised if this was his way to “vibe check” students as potential conspirators with him, because of the underlying assumption that brush, katana and mind are one.
Calligraphy is just one aspect though; some calligraphers were also talented poets! One specifically that comes to mind is Sugawara no Michizane. To be honest, Aizen kind of reminded me of an evil version of him lol. Sugawara no Michizane was a poet, scholar and politician employed to the Emperor of Japan. Long story short, a political conflict arose, where two other clans working for the emperor made comments that suggested Sugawara was trying to usurp power from the Emperor. As such, Sugawara was exiled from the imperial court.
Another fun fact about Sugawara no Michizane, he had a favourite plum tree in the imperial garden! So much so that on the day of his exile, he wrote a poem for it: When the east wind blows/ let it send your fragrance/ oh plum blossoms. / Although your master is gone/ do not forget the spring. The legend goes that Sugawara missed this tree so much that it flew to him during his exile. This gave the plum tree the name: tobiume.
Sugawara died not long after his exile, but the imperial palace, and those who wronged Sugawara, experienced dreadful things. Specifically the Emperor’s palace was destroyed through a fire… which was triggered by lightning. Such as the fall of the Sereitei during the first invasion of the Quincy after Aizen’s defeat (Sasikibe dying and Yamamoto burning Squad 1). While Aizen is indeed alive, the imperial court were incredibly superstitious and made temples in honor of Sugawara. And we have Shunsui (temporarily) releasing Aizen for the war (I admit, this connection is a bit of a reach!)
As for poetry, I again, wish we had an example of some of the things Aizen wrote, but the Yin of the Pine Needle is an interesting title for a reoccurring column! He wrote 50 volumes for it. (For context, Unohana’s column had 1041 volumes.)
In Japanese flower language, pine needles (matsuba) symbolize harmony. The “yin” in Aizen’s column’s title, is a bit more ambiguous, because yin can mean different things in this context. Yin can represent assimilation, quietness, sluggishness, psychological or spiritual work, it can also be interpreted as suppression when yin is associated with emotions. Regardless of what exact meaning Aizen’s column was meant to be, it would be a safe assumption that Aizen was publishing something that was could have been a critique, commentary or something where he’s pointing out the “harmony” either within Soul Society or something more ambiguous lol, is not what it seems.
Here are my rambles, thanks for reading! Would love for Kubo to write more Aizen, but alas! I'm always going to overthink the crumbs we get of Aizen's character lol.
#bleach#aizen sousuke#aizen sosuke#sosuke aizen#aizen#sousuke aizen#I don't know i'm just rambling#aizen meta
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So, I think it was @buckttommy who wrote something about Tommy having the realisation that he was too late, that Buck and Eddie were already in love (thanks for that psychic damage btw). That maybe if he’d shown up just a little earlier, visited his old firehouse once in the five (seven? who even knows at this rate?) years, maybe things would have been different.
But now I’m picturing Eddie realizing that he’s too late. He looks back on all the… not missed opportunities (because all the little things we go crazy about are also all things that have cemented their friendship) … but the moments where they could have had more and just didn’t take that step. And Eddie knows that Buck will always love him, but now, after this, he may never be in love with him. If Eddie had been ready, if he’d been able to work through Shannon’s loss in a healthy way, Buck was right there. He thinks back on all the moments where they could have just tipped things in the other direction. Because everything he’s sort of romanticised in his relationship with Shannon would be there if he took that step with Buck. His best friend, his confidant, a co-parent to Christopher, the love of his life, was right within arm’s reach.
Only now… Buck’s with someone else. He’s happy with someone else. And Buck’s still right there, but he’s also never been further away.
#i don't know i'm just rambling#but that post about tommy being too late has been looping around in my brain for weeks and today it brought me here#eddie diaz#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#911
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shinobu, mitsuri, and ione having a sleepover to talk about boys except none of them understand romance or love 👍 shinobu gets scientific about it, mitsuri makes up over-the-top, cutesy scenarios that would never happen, and ione tries to do a psych eval of every man ever. had they been anymore sleep deprived they probably would've started writing a book
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Yeah, the joke was mostly that that's another thing to potentially complicate existence if it's accurate. Rather subpar arrangement of world we've got currently, though it is definitely better in that regard than previously. I've also been peer reviewed a few times apart from this, both from someone at a rainbow group and a college chemistry teacher (who had been peer reviewed by a previous class made up either entirely or almost so of neurodivergent folks)
god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
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bloodstains
it's kind of weird the way that we see parts of people we've known in the words and looks that come from strangers.
i see parts of you in every poison seeped sentence that leaves her mouth, despondent. i see the stones you throw in the way he lashes out, wounded more by my bruises than what caused them to form.
i remember the nights you would follow me, twisting every word i said into a dagger to stab yourself with. as you splashed me with your gushing blood i would question what i had done, how this had happened, what could i do. do i wash the blood off of myself or do i bandage you? anything to make it stop.
i never think of you when i feel loved. i never think of the way my jokes brought this certain snicker out of you or the way that you smiled fondly at the stars on that starry smokey night.
none of this is worth telling you. it'd just mean more stains to wash out.
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the only downside to reading again physical books again, is that I don't have a TBR list.
I don't know what I want to read now, as a 21 year old woman who's been exclusively reading fanfiction for the last 6 years of her life. Like, I don't know who I am as a reading anymore, and that's kind of sad but also very exciting cause the entire world is out there, mine for the taking
#I'm enjoying the odyssey so far#but after that. what?#I need a book that excites me for the future so I don't fall out of the reading loop#maybe... we'll see#cause even with fanfiction I like to take my time in between one work and the next one. Like to see what I'm in the mood for after finishin#a work of fiction. based on how it made me feel and what i'd like to feel next#i don't know i'm just rambling#reading#books
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some epilogue vibes (an excuse to draw some hugs. and my durge so many times)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#wyll#karlach#astarion#shadowheart#lae'zel#minsc#jaheira#durge#oc: noon#anyway as said attempting to tag late game stuff more just in case#spoilers in the tags also bc i'm gonna ramble lol ->#i'mm😔having played embrace durge for most of the game all the sweetness punched me in the face (affectionate) like girllllll lol😔😭<3#tho let wyll be hugged damnit >:(#(i wonder if they added wyll hug in the new patch? doubts i don't trust like that but huge if they did)#also idk why minsc got that ending lmao. i didn't even know there were diff outcomes just found out looking for his ref for this pic LOL#i helped nine fingers and the guild helped in the endfight?? idk what happened but godspeed my guy#also loved jaheira's ''good to see you please for the love of gods remember to never have kids''#minsc in the bg: ''i'm getting executed tomorrow💯💪''#also i didn't even know why karlach glowed blue then looked it up like oh😭😔🥺 ohhhhh
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i know Jared doesn't come from modelling background but damn that man can walk a ramp! 😍😍😍😍
#Someone get him a modelling contract#Need to see him on a fashion show#America's next top model#I don't know I'm just rambling#Jared Padalecki#Jared girl
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I may be pointing out something completely obvious, but Round 7 takes place immediately after Round 6?
Like immediately after.
Hyuna is still there, bleeding. Like it's so unlikely that Mizi and Hyuna have just been roaming for days. Like after round 6, it's been maybe a few hours at most?
My thoughts are a mess rn but damn that sucks for Till if that's true (not that it doesn't suck if it's not).
Ivan dies in front of him, then he has a change of outfit and immediately has to move onto the next Round. No wonder he looks so fatigued, like he's about to pass out at any moment.
Did he even get to eat or drink anything? I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't, but still.
#alien stage#alnst till#alnst round 7#alnst round 7 spoilers#alnst hyuna#alnst mizi#I will cry#Correct me if I'm wrong#alnst final#alien stage spoilers#alnst#vivinos#blink gone#also that might play a large part in why luka chose to impersonate Ivan#rather than mizi#i know ivan died and mizi didn't#but till doesn't know that#and luka didn't seem to expect to encounter mizi and hyuna at the end#specifically hyuna#This blond mf watching round 6#taking notes#update: just went back to round 6#it's probably an intricate system mizi and hyuna have to get through#and they're in a different place to where they were end of r6#but i don't see no food no water#it can't take them that long to get to where they are in r7#especially because there's already been an 'intruder alert'#anyways I'm trying to convince myself lol#tags getting long but let me continue rambling#Imagine being Ivan in heaven
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?
(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#fem payneland#although technically as everyone is the opposite gender their last names should be different#OKAY you know the drill u get fanart and i get to ramble about it#Edith wears pants now#this pains me because i love drawing skirts but after she escaped hell#she met charlotte who made an offhand comment about how it's easier to move with pants#and edith who just spent 70 years running in hell went wait a tick#she feels safer that way is what i'm saying#interesting because as you can see she wore a skirt to confess and we know how THAT went but anyway#charlotte's mom was abusive of course#and she forced her to practice ballet despite charlotte being interested in a lot of other sports#she did fairly well at ballet but this means no cricket bat :(#i know we all love butch fem charles but as he's mostly gender conforming i decided to not do that#no reason for the bracelets but as i wanted to give her a choker i thought they would combine with the earrings#crystal is still crystal because his parents are weird artists who like stupid names#niko though... i don't know what to name him#dead girl detectives
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i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen
#ramble#this is not me judging by the way i think it's cool as fuck i just don't do it personally#context: a lot of my 'dream jobs' are now just 'ways to make money that i might not absolutely hate'#but i have one (1) legit dream job and it's literally FINGERTIPS away from me right now#i feel like most people who know me can guess what it is and know how badly i want it#i'm not even letting myself daydream about it or talk about it too much because i'm so afraid of not getting it and being disappointed#and also i don't want to like. jinx it#i've tried so many times before but this is the closest i've ever been and i feel SICK i want to bite something
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#ripped from my own twitter cause i really don't know how else to express the tiny dose of comfort seeing sesame street doing this gives#but it also just feels ominous like bracing for the fallout and trying to soothe preemptively#i'm so fucking tired#i'm not doing okay elmo#i wanna go to sesame street#please vote#us elections#us politics#election 2024#election day#presidential election#sesame street#elmo#hwtv rambling
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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