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railingsofsorrow · 11 months ago

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do you need me?

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where emily's death takes a toll on you. based on the prompt “don't come over, I can handle it.” from this prompt list.

pairing: s.reid x gn!reader

w.c: 3.5K

warnings/content: mentions of skipping meals; grief; mourning the loss of a friend; jemily (implied); blood; non-graphic descriptions of violence; character death (mentioned/not the MCs); addiction; intoxication; survivor's guilt; crying; unhealthy coping mechanisms; this is... heavy, be aware.

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! I wish that we all have an amazing 2024. here's the blurb you voted for. hurt/comfort at its best <3

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❝ it did not kill me and it did not make me stronger. it simply was and always will be scorched upon my heart. ❞

— d.j

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You don't know who took Emily's death the hardest. Pain is not something that can be measured or compared, people deal with it in different ways. Some are quieter in their grieving, others are loud. And although each one of your teammates knows how to compartmentalize their feelings, there was a fog in their eyes, a heaviness in their shoulders more than usual. Things you could relate well after all that has happened. You wish you didn't. You wished all of that was just a strange and far-off memory.

JJ was different — you noticed it during one of your night outs.

Penelope had forced everyone to hang out after a case, to relax. It had been a few months after what happened to Emily and the team was still... sore. Rightfully so.

Hotch and Rossi left earlier, leaving you, Derek, Spencer, Penelope and JJ at the bar. The only ones who weren't intoxicated were you and Spencer. You were pretty sure the conversation Penelope and Derek were having in their own little world was not PG-13, anyway.

“Do you think she's alright?”

Spencer asked, casting a look towards JJ. It's been half an hour she was nursing a glass of water — you had purposely brought her this one since she'd lost count of her shots —, staring at it with her stare unfocused.

“She will be.” You had said and when he told you he was leaving, you asked if he wanted a ride home. You hadn't drank anything but orange juice. He refused it, hugged you and, before he left, he demanded that you'd let him know once you got home.

You ended up being JJ's designated driver that night.

It was when you first saw a crack through the mask she had put on. Emily and JJ shared a deep bond. You knew their friendship wasn't just friendship, even before Emily had revealed to you that she had feelings for the blonde a while back. When Emily was gone, you saw how JJ took it hard. Not that everyone else didn't as well, but the love from each person in the team carried for Emily was different from the love JJ had for her.

Between the gibberish she was mumbling in the passenger seat of your car, she let escape a faint “I miss her”. Her voice cracked and your heart ached.

“D’ you think...” She muttered as you were helping her into her bed. “D'you think she miss— a hiccup — misses us?”

You refrained from saying that dead people cannot miss anything. Instead, you waited for her to fall asleep, placed a cup of water and aspirin on her bedside table before leaving her apartment.

She pretended nothing happened in the next day and you did the same.

You thought JJ had it worst, until Spencer showed up at your door at 3 a.m craving for something he hadn't touched in three years.

Again, pain is not comparable. One does not hurts more than another; people deal with their hardships in life differently, even if they have gone through the same life-changing event.

Some let it show, others just know how to hide it better. You no longer knew if you were the former or the latter through the eyes of your friends.

The current case you were working on had rendered you mentally exhausted. A victim had been taken hostage and for two days you tried to negotiate with the unsub, but to no avail. You almost had it. Almost. When you thought you had succeeded in releasing the woman, she was shot right in front of you.

She died in your arms and there was nothing that you could have done to prevent.

Or was there?

There was nothing that you could have done. You have heard that before. Countless of times. People tried to inject that into your head as a way to make you feel better. And they have their best intentions, you do not doubt it. But it was no use if you couldn't bring yourself to believe these words.

This was just one of those days, when you didn't know how to cope with that overbearing sadness that crippled your mind.

There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have—

“Hey.”

You flinched, startled at the voice. As you came back to reality, Spencer turned up in front of you.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” His face twitched into a grimace.

You cleared your throat, placing your stuff in your bag. You were so distracted that you didn't realise you had been holding the bloodied shirt you were wearing in the morning; you shoved it inside carelessly. I'm gonna burn it.

“You didn't,” you said. “What's up? I thought you had left already.”

Spencer leaned on the door, fingers playing with the strap of his satchel as he waited for you to leave the room. He followed you to the corridor, an unspoken silence that said a million things. His fidgety hands weren't just mindlessly stimming, he was nervous.

Everyone else seemed to have left, meaning the bullpen was fairly empty. You wondered how long you stayed frozen reminiscing as the minutes went by.

“I was waiting for you.” He responded as soon as the elevator doors closed.

You turned to him with widened eyes. “Why? I'm sorry I kept you waiting—”

Spencer quickly waved you off, “It's alright.” He gave you a soft smile. The one you felt warm inside. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Oh.

“Of course I am.” You replied and you really hoped the tight smile you gave him was convincing enough for him to not question further. You weren't sure if you'd be able to not crumble down completely if he asked again.

“Are you sure?”

Damn, Spencer.

Yes, everything is good. I just need to get home, take a shower and have a good night sleep without interruptions.

Everything is good.

You don't know how many times you repeated that until he walked alongside you to the parking lot.

Arriving home was all that you needed to let your armour aside. God you were so tired. You didn't even reach your bedroom before the tears came like a waterfall. Falling into your couch, with no strength to stand, you finally stopped fighting against the sadness and let it lead you for the time being.

It's hard trying to be strong all the time, isn't it? Not admitting you need someone to be there for you because you only know how to be there for people. You tell them it's going to be okay. You let them be vulnerable. You say it's okay to not be okay.

Why can't you treat yourself the same way you treat the people around you?

You count every raindrop falling down your window, it helps you focus on reality. It was grounding and a few minutes later you have stopped sobbing your heart out.

It was raining hard outside. When you open the window, the cold slips right in and you stay there, enjoying the wind pushing your hair back.

You dial a familiar number tonight. And you don't hang up after two rings. You think about doing it in the fourth, but the person picks up, apologizing before they say hello.

It actually makes your lips twitch slightly. You don't smile, but you feel like doing it after crying so hard.

“Spencer.” You say through the phone interrupting his incessant apologies for taking too long to answer, your brows creasing after you hear how strange your voice is. “You don't have to apologize. I was the one who called you at one a.m. Why are you even awake?”

“I was reading. Lost track of time. I— have you been crying?” Well, shit. Too much for thinking he wouldn't notice through the phone.

“Why do you ask?” You ask rather pathetically. Why did you call him? Why did you bother Spencer at one a.m when he could be sleeping? You should feel sorry for yourself. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called—”

“I was thinking about you.”

Your breath hitches. You close the window and sit back on the floor and you feel like crying again, you don't know why. Maybe it's his voice. Maybe it's the fact that he makes you feel everything that you're allowed to feel.

He takes your silence as his cue to continue. “I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” he trails off as if he's uncertain about what he will say. “I remembered you.”

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Spencer could take pride in saying he knew you better than anyone else.

He recognised the sound of your voice was different when your were excited about a particular topic and when you were discussing a case at work. He knew you brushed your hair behind your ear when you felt shy, but the same action could happen when you were uncomfortable. It heavily depended on the situation.

He was aware of your odd behaviour by the way you kept on touching your index finger throughout the day. The week, actually. Spencer could tell you were bothered by something, he could tell you were deeply upset. You skipped breakfast and you never had lunch with them. Not that past week.

And judging by the dark circles around your eyes, you weren't sleeping well either.

He saw himself in you a month back.

See, Spencer was the kind of person who didn't like being vulnerable around anyone. If anything, he mastered the act of not communicating his feelings, he just expected them to disappear, which didn't happen but he was getting better at understanding that.

After Emily's passing, the only one he opened up to was you. And it was the hardest and best choice he ever made. You made him feel seen. It was so easy to talk to you about anything that he didn't notice until a few days ago that you were a very good listener. Not that he didn't notice that before, no, it was not that. But you just listened. You comforted. You held.

Spencer was really concerned about your coping mechanisms, because he knew he didn't have the most healthy ways of dealing with things. He hoped you were better than him. He hoped you didn't let it build up until you were suffocating.

So when you called him, he wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you. His lie laid on the reading part, he was trying to fall asleep but his concern was keeping him up.

I'm here for you too. He wanted to say. Please, let me be here for you.

“I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” He sat down on the bed, shifting until he found a comfortable position. “I remembered you.” This is what he started with.

Your ragged breathing through the line cut off his rational thinking. So you have been crying.

He called your name softly.

“Hi. I'm here.” You say, forcing out an exhale.

“Talk to me.” He pleads.

He hears a faint sniffle, “I'm here, Spencer.”

No, you're not. You're far away.

“I'm here too. You know that right?”

“It's been a hard week.” You admit through your shaky voice. “I just needed to hear your voice.” You cut him off quickly. “I know that I saw you a few hours ago, but I—”

“Do you need me?” He was the one who cut you off this time. He couldn't bear you explaining the reason you called. You could call him as many times as you wanted. Every five minutes, every second. He wanted to tell you he missed you when your shift was over for the day even if he spent the entire day by your side, and that you never ever could bother him because he cherished your company. He wanted you close. And he just wanted you to be okay now.

“... It's one a.m, Spence.” There is some shifting through the line, sounds like you were moving around. “I— I can handle it. It's fine.”

“Do you need me?” He repeats, shuffling out of his room to the living room. He couldn't care less that it was one a.m. He found his coat hanged and didn't wait for your answer to put it on. Really, Spencer should have done it sooner.

He's half way on tying his left shoe when you breath out in resignation. Your voice much closer to his ear as if you were telling him a secret you should be ashamed of. “Yes. Yes, I need you.”

He let out a hum, standing up to grab his car keys and sprinted out of his home to go to yours.

“I'll be there in ten.”

You lived twenty minutes away from him, but he'd make in ten. He wanted to see you. More than anything, he wanted to tell you everything that you hadn't heard when you were too busy comforting people instead of yourself.

He stops short before knocking on your door, deciding on sending you a text to let you know he was there so you wouldn't be startled at the noise. He didn't get to click send as the door was yanked open. Your bloodshot eyes and swollen lips are the first thing he sees.

“Hi.” He says, slipping his phone into his pocket. As soon as he did that, your arms envelope his shoulders which caused him to let out a sound of surprise, but he quickly recover and wraps his own arms around you, squeezing your shaky body against his. “Hi.” He utters into the croak of your neck, his hand trailing up and down on your back gently. “I'm wet because of the rain,” he apologises halfheartedly. “Sorry.”

The laugh he hears through your sobs might just have made his day.

He was cold immediately after you slips out of his arms. You pull him inside your place and shut the door, claiming you would be back with a towel despite his protests that he didn't need it.

Spencer lost count of how many times he visited your place. He knew every corner of your apartment, every place you left books that you keep losing when you didn't found them on the shelves, every painting and drawing you had on the walls. The ones he happily convinced you to put on because you made them and they were beautiful, you just didn't believe it.

The two of you spent long hours on your couch, either reading a book and saying your favourite quotes out loud or just watching bad movies and TV shows to pass the time.

He'd ramble on and on about the inconsistencies of any plot and you'd engage in his refutations until you'd disagree and some bantering ensued.

“Here.” Spencer turns around to see you offering a towel for him to dry off. The middle of your forehead furrows slightly, he feels the need to smooth it out himself but he refrains from doing so. “It's dangerous to drive when the weather it's like this. I'm sorry that I made you come all the way here for nothing.”

“Nothing?” He shakes his head as if it's the most absurd thing you've ever said. “You're not nothing.” He accepts the towel and what he recognizes is a jumper of his he must have forgotten a while ago.

When he's completely dry, he walks to the kitchen where you had ventured off to make some tea.

Two mugs are placed on the kitchen counter, the smell of camomile slowly filling the room. You are lost in your thoughts again, mixing the honey in your tea with a spoon for forty-three minutes, your gaze unfocused. Lost.

His fingerstips trails down your wrist to your hand, proceeding to take one of your hands in his, thumb running across your palm. “Can you please look at me?” He requests softly, head tilting until you have no choice but to meet his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It” are a lot of things. But he doesn't know if you feel comfortable enough to talk about all of them tonight. He'll just follow your lead and respect your time.

“I don't want you to see me like this.”

He feels your fingers tighten around his hand and he squeezes back as a form of reassurance.

“Like what?” He can't help but ask. Vulnerable? Human?

“Weak.”

“You could never be weak in my eyes.”

This time, he does smooth down the frown between your brows with his thumb, surprised that you don't reject his touch but welcome it by leaning into his hand.

Neither of you drink the tea. Instead, you move back to the living room, settling down on your couch. You end up cuddling, which wasn't strange because you have done it many times before. Now it just feels more intimate. His hold never strayed from yours. This time, he listened. He comforted. And he held you.

“I'm used to blood, we see it all the time.” you carry on, speaking directly to his chest as he looks down at you. “But I... My hands. There was just so much of it and I couldn't, I couldn't save her.” Your fingers play with the straps of his jumper to distract yourself.

There was nothing that you could have done.

“She knows you did everything you could.” Spencer reassures. He was well aware that you weren't just talking about the victim that you had lost today. “Wherever she is right now...” He lifts a hand to cup your face stroking your cheek with the utmost care in the world. “She knows.”

Your bloodshot eyes study him carefully, searching for any indication that could make you not trust anything he just said. He knew how hard it was to believe that you had no fault in the loss of a friend. Maybe if we had gotten there sooner... Maybe if we had figured everything out sooner...

A little bird told him once that you can't dwell on the past for long or else you'll be stuck in it. And those words — your words — helped on his healing process. He hoped he did the same to you now.

You were laying on his chest, one of your hands positioned right where his heart laid as your other arm involved his middle. His arm wrapped around you as his fingers were trailing up and down your back in the way he knew calmed you down. Spencer felt the most rested he hasn't felt in months and he wasn't even sleeping.

“Tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head in response, finding that statement completely absurd because it was not possible for you to make him feel uncomfortable. He's not a fan of PDA, but he found that he didn't mind it with you. So he lowered down on the couch, moving your body with his to be more comfortable, lips grazing your temple in a soft kiss.

“You're not.” He says brushing your hair away from your neck. Your eyes were shut and he could feel your breathing evening out. “Try to sleep a little.” He let out in a whisper to not disturb your peacefulness. He knew you needed it.

“Don't go.” You croak out, tucking your nose in the croak of his neck, breathing into him.

The corner of his lips quirk up. “I'll be here when you wake up.” He promises as thunder rolled outside. Fluttering his eyes shut when you have finally dozed off, he ignores the warnings in his head about sleeping on the couch and how bad it is for one's neck.

No, he could deal with that tomorrow. For now, he would just hold you.

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❝ all I know of strength, I have learnt from breaking. ❞

— sahiba

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taglist: @lilyviolets

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #reader insert #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid angst

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h8ani · 11 months ago

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You don't mean to hold onto the past but, you do. You hold onto him with every piece of you and you're only going to hurt others in the process.

Takashi Mitsuya x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: nsfw, female reader, non-canon events, reader deals with grief, major character death, descriptions of a dead body, mentions of blood, mentions of a panic attack, unprotected sex, hurt & no comfort

Here is my entry for @bioticlaw TUN collab! I don't know why I choose sadness and angst but I hope anyone who reads this enjoys what I wrote! I tried my hardest with this one :')

taglist: @kkittycries @blackfire2013 @benkeibear @suyacho @shujistars

join my taglist -> here

Grief: (noun) deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.

Grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died. Death is the tragedy in the young, too many opportunities and experiences cut short. There’s a different kind of mourning you feel when someone you love dies young, you’re angry; the unfairness in the world makes you want to scream and cry, all the lost occasions and celebrations you’ll never get with your person. It’s different when they never get to grow old with you, getting to have the same initiations in life that you had to go through; the heartbreaks, the ceremonies, all the celebratory times in one’s life all cut too short by the angel of death himself. Death is a right of passage for the elderly, the old have lived their lives fully, looking back on the memories that they made because they had a full life to live, a life they had lived absolutely.

The death in your life was one no person should have to endure. The loss of your one true love; Ken Ryuguji. The sorrow you feel should be a testament to the love you had, the pain stands as a witness of your bond with him and how it still survives even when time has spent since his passing.

Ken was a true gem, a diamond in the rough of the people in your life. He was a protector by nature when it came to you, always shielding you from danger since you two were young, it continued even after you two grew up from little kids to young adults although by then you were able to defend yourself without needing his presence. It’s a shame you were never able to do the same for him.

The memories of seeing him were ones engraved in your mind, the blood that pooled around his cold, lifeless body still haunts every aspect of your being. Most nights you cry yourself to sleep, the recollections of that unforgettable night being the only thing you’re able to think of when the moon shines brightly through your window, the darkness of the night mirroring just how you felt inside most days. No matter what you do to stop them, the tears continue to flow.

You wish you could think of the happy memories, lord knows there were plenty of them to blur out the bad. Your favorite memories hazily glow in the glum thoughts, the light trying to brighten but eventually being downcast into the murkiness of your heartbreak. You still think back to when you’d be on the back of his bike – your arms wrapped tightly around his waist as the bike was revved up and exceeded speeds that weren’t legal in any way but you didn’t care. You could’ve driven for hours and ended up who knows where and you wouldn’t care. You would’ve been content just being with Ken forever.

But forever doesn’t exist.

The suffering you endure from the memories of that very night – it’s like razor blades filled inside one of the many stuffed animals he had given you throughout the years, the more you clung to them the deeper the cuts go, and no chance in healing as you embed them deeper and deeper.

You gasp aloud, body shooting up in a frenzy as you look around, the heavy comforter that was once draped over you was now kicked down and bunched down at your feet. Your throat constricted against itself as you tried to heave as much air in your lungs as possible. The room was spinning even when the darkness surrounded you with no form of light peeking out anywhere. You squeezed your eyes shut, the tears that had already been welling up fell down your cheeks now. You’re so focused on catching your breath and centering yourself that you don’t hear the calling of your name from beside you, the low buzz in your ears greater than his voice could reach.

You feel a gentle hand on your back, the slow movements of his hand seemingly calming you down in a matter of seconds. “Sorry…” you mutter out, voice hoarse and quiet, you glance over to see your boyfriend, a worried expression etched all over his face.

“No apologies tonight, okay?” Mitsuya says as he sees your broken figure, he pulls you closer to him as he lays you both back into the bed. Your head rests against his shoulder while he continues to rub small circles along your back. A shaky sigh escapes your lips as you melt into him feeling the tingle in your body slowly dissipate while you calm down.

Mitsuya knew what he was getting into when he finally decided to approach you, he had known you since you both were kids; being introduced to each other by Draken himself, he also knew of the relationship that you and Draken had, Mistuya was also the one who realized that you were the unlucky soul who found Draken’s body, but how could you not when you were pinged the location.

It was something out of a movie, a horror movie that no one should have to live through. Mitsuya remembers hearing that you found Draken’s body but when you opened up enough to tell him the events that happened that very night a shiver ran through his spine.

You rushed through the story when trying to talk to him about it, tears pricking your eyes because you were so tired of crying and just wanted to stop. When you finally got to the part that took an eerily chill turn Mitsuya could feel his own throat start to contract, the bile in his throat slowly rising up. You got the location ping from Draken himself, it was a random spot, an area behind a field that was frequently packed during the summer when little league would be in full swing, but you knew it. You went to go meet him, confused as to why he was so M.I.A during the day and why he didn’t tell you about the reason for this random location drop. You finally saw him, lying in a patch of grass staring up at the stars until realizing what you were actually looking at.

Draken was dead.

His face looked peaceful but the torn, dirty clothes he was wearing said differently. The grass was stained red around him and it dragged on as if his body was moved. Days later you found out that he had been dead for hours prior to getting the location ping that was sent to your phone, a silent yet deafening message being sent to you.

Mitsuya listened to everything, seeing how you were when reiterating the story to him, watching how you fidgeted and struggled to finish the story towards the end. You were never the same after that, the lasting effects of witnessing and living through something so traumatizing was something you dealt with on a daily basis. You told him that the first few months you had nightmares every night, some so bad that you forced yourself to stay awake for days on end which only made you incoherent at work. Therapy was something you now go to three times a week, it does help but he sees the anger behind your eyes when you say you shouldn’t need it.

You were closed off when Mitsuya came to you, another result of what you had been through. He remembers vividly of your warnings to him, you were so adamant on telling him that you weren’t the same girl he once knew, you couldn’t be. If you could’ve given him a powerpoint presentation as to why he shouldn’t be with you, you would have if you were given the time. But he didn’t care, he just smiled that same comforting smile he’s always had at you just waiting on you to finish the 15th reason as to why he’d be better off with someone else.

The look on your face when he just waited for you to finish and proceed to ask you out on a date was something he cherished, the little gap your lips made in astonishment and wide eyes was something to snicker at. He was going to be the one to break down this concrete wall you had built up.

Days turned into weeks which turned to months and here you were, almost a year together and if you were being completely honest you were surprised. You didn’t expect a relationship to come from him, but when it did, the guilt that started to eat away at you displayed so vividly that you were so sure that he was going to cut and run at the earliest convenience, but he stayed, he kept his feet planted firmly down and promised to help you, he told you that you weren’t alone in this and for the first time in a long time you didn’t feel alone.

Mitsuya was never a rebound to you, you never wanted him to be just someone to take up the space that Ken once filled up, you don’t think that anyone could truly do that. Being with Mitsuya you learned that it’s okay to keep ahold of those memories you held so close when it came to Ken, that still loving Ken was okay even if you were now with Mitsuya. With the relationship you now had it was easier than you had expected because he had seen all of you, all of your troubles and hardships, and what you needed. There were no points of uncertainty because he was there to help you through it all. If that’s the secret to the strong bond and how it formed so fast for you two you’d be happy to say it aloud and shout it from the rooftops, although you still have your troubles it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t being paid to listen.

Despite the fact that your relationship with him wasn’t always like this and your feelings for Mitsuya were more of a slow agonizing burn than something that blossomed like a beautiful flower in the springtime. Your feelings crept up slowly, once treating him like a foreign object that was protruding into you deeper and deeper until you felt the ache subside, you caught yourself waiting on his calls, always happening around the same time, and just like clockwork you let it ring three times before answering. You started to miss his absence and sweet words, always knowing what calms you down when you’re more anxious about the world around you. You genuinely liked him, although the thoughts of uncertainty always loomed in the back of your mind. The guilt eats you away in random moments of the day, when you feel content it hits harder than you’d like. Would Ken be upset with you? This was his friend, his close friend to be exact and it felt wrong. Continuing on with life was something you needed to do, you had to keep going on, so why did you still feel this way? Was it too soon to move on? Should you have stayed alone and dealt with this all yourself rather than finding solace in another person? Was it fair for you to find happiness while Ken couldn’t feel anything anymore? He was gone, dead and buried yet here you are alive and tormented by nothing but the thoughts of him and what could’ve been.

“We’ll get through this.” Mitsuya’s voice brings you back to him, his voice was as quiet as a whisper but came through so loud in your head. He always has a way of bringing you back down. Your throat still hurt and you could still feel the drum of your heart pounding against your chest. “We’ll get past this.”

Past this… Past Ken… God, if only he was still here. You wouldn’t be like this, you wouldn’t be in pain and constantly having a battle within yourself, you wouldn’t be–

“I love you.” Mitsuya’s voice cut in.

Suddenly everything stopped; time, sound, your breathing. The words that left his lips danced around in the atmosphere circling around you both. You raise your head and look at him, lavender eyes wide open as he stares right back at you. He’s terrified, the silence in the air making him more nervous than he’d like to be.

It slipped, of course he feels that way but he didn’t want to say it until he was absolutely sure you felt the same. A childlike way of going about things but who could blame him when you looked the way you did right now, you were stunned, you might as well have been hit with a stun gun with the way you seemed to be frozen just from three simple words that carried so much weight to them and worry was now creeping up on him, God knows you’ve tried pushing him away before but now this just might be the final blow to send you running away from him for good.

“Say it again.” You speak up, albeit quietly and unsure of the words that you had just heard but still understood by Mitsuya.

He swallows down the fear that creeps up his throat, the look he gives you is uncommon yet raw, shifting to face you more, his hand grazes up your arm until it rests against your cheek, and his thumb brushes against the soft skin as he takes a deep needed breath. “I love you–”

Mitsuya felt your lips on him before he could finish let alone process what was happening. Your eyes squeezed together tight and hands squeezed around his wrist even tighter. If a single kiss could condense a million thoughts and promises in one, this would be it. He kisses you back, lips forming against yours and bleeding all the passion between the words he said to you behind it. Your lips were warm and soft against his which was a stark contrast to your bodies, his was cold to the touch; chest pricked with goosebumps as your warm hands roamed over him. He snaked an arm around you quickly tugging you closer all while shifting to hover over you. You feel his weight bare more on top of you, one hand holding himself up as his other slides under your shirt just enough to feel your skin against his.

Your skin felt like a million fireworks were being set off on top of it, the way his hand set them off in an instant made you feel so many things: excitement, regret, acceptance, guilt.

The thought of Ken slips into your mind. Of all times to be here, you thought. You were always so shy with him, the memories of your first time flooded in like a dam that had finally burst. His face; rosy cheeks and the beads of sweat that graced his body, he was praising you the entire time, telling you how good you were doing and how beautiful you looked under his body. His hands; how strong they were when you finally switched positions, he so easily lifted you up and brought you back down his cock with such ease. And his mouth; the way he effortlessly spewed such filth on top of the sweet and loving words he’d call you. And his-

You shake those thoughts away, needing wanting to focus on the man in front of you.

Your hands find their way to his hair, fingers grazing the side where his tattoo stays hidden. Strong hands find place at your waist and soon fingers dexterously hook into the waistband of your bottoms and tug them down.

He wishes he could take his time with you, wanting to go as slow as he can to savor this moment, but the way he’s tugging your top off and pulling his sweats down he can’t help it. Your hands move quickly as well, tugging at his boxers with a slight tremor. Nerves running rampant at this very moment, you want this, you need this with him. You want to get this right.

You’re both so sweaty as his cock is thrusted back into you continuously. The oversensitivity for how long you two have been going is catching up to you and tears well up in your eyeline ready to fall. Just a little more and you’ll get there, teetering on the edge of ecstasy and falling back down to losing your high.

Mitsuya’s thrusts weren’t rough but were just enough to pull the small whimpers from you. His hands were on your hips pushing you deeper into the mattress with every thrust that kissed your walls, it was needy, the way your legs hooked behind him pulling him deeper and deeper just chasing that high you couldn’t reach. Your brows furrowed in frustration and he saw that, he saw how you’ve been trying for so long just to finally cum. His thumb pressed into your clit rubbing small, quick circles to help you but that barely did anything.

Your walls fluttered around him for the nth time that night but almost like a mental block you don’t reach your peak, your walls stop gripping around him while a pout forms on your face and a huffed out sigh that was quietly heard. You couldn’t get yourself to finish.

Mitsuya swallows thickly as the words he’s about to say cause a deep churn in his stomach. “If you need to say…” he swallows them down, hips slowing down in the process yet still flush against yours, “his name. If that makes all of this easier for you, then say it.”

You snap your head up to look at him. Disbelief filling your brain from the words he just said. His name. Say Ken’s name…

“Takashi-”

“It’s fine-fuck.” He groans, his hips slowly pulling out until just the tip then slowly thrusts back in, a certain fervor behind it that makes your ears ring. His pace picks up, the shallow sound of his hips meeting yours until another groan leaves him. “You need this.”

He leans down and his lips latch onto the sweet spot to your neck, licking a stripe up until you visibly shiver. Your arms hook under his own, holding him tight against your chest. His own groans of pleasure in your ear spurring you on further.

You squeeze your eyes shut, tears finally falling past your waterline as you allow yourself to think about him, bringing those thoughts you so desperately tried pushing away earlier this night. You think about how Ken would grab you, hold you, kiss you, touch you. Imagining that he was the one to touch you now, cock buried deep within your walls and groaning from how tight you squeeze him. If you thought hard enough Mitsuya’s voice melded into his, the same deep vibrato you loved to hear, especially in the morning. Mitsuya’s cock buried in you soon blended in your thoughts of Ken, finally feeling as if it was Ken who was fucking you.

His name slips out of your lips before you realize what you’re doing, a gasp rips from you as you open your eyes wide. You meet Mitsuya’s pretty purple eyes that are already staring down at you. You couldn’t decipher what it was; he had a different appearance behind his eyes. “Again.” He says before thrusting into you harder, each thrust of his soon becoming rougher than the last and hitting all the sensitive spots inside that make you choke on your own moans.

“Fuck…Ken.” You moan his name, this time a bit louder than the last. You clench down tighter than you have for the night, you were so close, Mitsuya could tell from the glossy look you had.

“Come on baby, cum for me.” His voice was desperate, he needed you to cum, he needed to feel you unravel underneath him even if it wasn’t him who you had on your mind.

He leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, hips slamming in rougher that had you squealing out. His tip hitting deeper the harder he fucks up into you. You look up at him seeing that his eyes never left yours. “I love you.” is all you utter before finally crashing down. Body shaking as you orgasm, Mitsuya’s hips sputter as your own orgasm causes his, a flurry of curse words leaving his lips as he paints your walls with his cum.

It’s silent in the aftermath, just the sounds of heavy breathing from the both of you and the sound of the blankets shuffling as he pulls out, laying beside you.

You both are at a loss for words, how has someone as pure hearted as Mitsuya lasted this long in a world so cold and fucked up? How did he end up with you? Were you also just the last string left he had left of Draken? Had his feelings been blinded by the pain he felt from losing him? How did you end up with someone so kind and understanding? Knowing no one else in this world would have the patience that he has had for you. How did a once calm night turn into tension that couldn’t be cut with the sharpest blade?

You really fucked up this time, you both think to yourselves.

Eventually, Mitsuya turns to flick the bedside lamp off, soon enveloping you in the darkness that you felt was your heart. You felt the blankets now cover you as you were pulled into him, the warmth of his body and his arm holding you tight allowing you to feel relieved in some way, you still felt cold inside, nonetheless. A sigh leaves both of your chests while you close your eyes and let the darkness take over.

The last thought before falling asleep was of Ken.

Oh, how you missed him.

If only it really was him.

networks: @enchantedforest-network @bitchcraftinc @ghostqueue

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wosoluver · 8 months ago

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To undo a mistake

Part 4/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern player!reader, Ana Guzmán x Bayern player!reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

That therapy session was... something. To say the least. Your eyes puffy once again.

We didn't talk much. I practically just dumped all my problems to her. But it felt good to get everything out, to someone who wouldn't judge you but also wasn't allowed to give too much of her opinion.

When you walked out, Ana wasn't there yet. So you just decided to sit and wait.

It took her around 10 minutes to show up.

"Hey. Have I made you wait for too long?"

"No, not at all. So do you want to go get some coffee? I'm out of practice today and you probably don't have many friends here yet."

"Your the one that looks like you could use a friend. Let's go. You drive, I don't have my license yet."

"First of all, ouch. Second of all, let's go. You'll be my passenger princess." - You said it excited.

Lena never really let you drive, you were always the passenger princess.

And you quickly tried to wisk the memory away.

You were both in comfortable silence in the car. Only the sound of Ana's music playing in the back. And yes you were forced to give her the rights to dj. Passenger princess' rule number 1.

You stop at your favorite place. It was never too crowded, which you were thankful for.

"I'll go order, what do you want?"

"Whatever your having, is fine."

After ordering and getting your coffees you go sit on a quiet corner.

"So, how are you adapting to Germany?"

"Oof- it's so fucking cold here. Not even in the coldest winters we get this temperature in Colombia."

"You'll get used to it after some time. A few jackets and coats and you're good."

"And you? Had a nice time in therapy?"

"Oh yeah. So much fun!" - you answered equally as ironic.

"I can tell by your puffy eyes.

I think today was my first time not crying in there."

"Must be hard. I've never had a bad injury. But it seems like the worse. Lena went through-" - you cut yourself off before you could say anything else. Your face dropped. Here you were again. Everything you think of, brought up Lena, one way or another.

"And Lena is-"

"My ex. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking when I said that."

"It's fine. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." - but then you proceeded to dump everything that had happened into the conversation. - "It's just, my head is still trying to wrap around everything. She already has a new girlfriend. And I'm still dealing with my feelings.

She broke up with me, over the phone can you believe that? I never felt so meaningless, so betrayed. Our five month relationship thrown into the trash. All of that, because Munich is too far from Wolfsburg for her taste."

"Wow, you had a lot to say for someone that didn't want to talk about it." - she said that hoping it would easy the anxious face you had going on. - "It's okay. Time works differently for different people. You have the right to mourn your relationship.

Is that what has been driving you down?"

"Yeah, I just wasn't ready to see her. I'm still in love with her. I mean was. After what happened Saturday, I think it might be time to except it's over."

"You still had feelings for her? Even after what she did?"

"Yeah. I guess I was just hopeful. I felt like in some way things weren't over yet. I just- It just didn't make sense. Lena is not that type of person. She would never do that."

"But she did. Look, if she meant to hurt you or not, you'll probably never know. Unless you talk to her."

"I am not going to talk to her."

"Then you'll have to settle for the unknown."

"I think I will. Can we talk about your feelings now? I've humiliated my self enough."

"Fine. You were right when you said I needed friends." - she let out a deep breath. - "When I first got injured. I was very hard on myself. Specially after hearing the diagnosis and that I'd have to go under surgery. I stressed my self over when I shouldn't have.

I pushed everyone away.

The hardest thing, when we are hurting, is to remember others are most likely going through something too."

"But that's kind of natural I guess. To be so into your own head you forget about others. It's just- there is such a thin line between being compassionate towards people and putting their needs and feelings before yours. To be honest I've never been good at navigating though it either."

"Yeah, I've been getting better about it I think. Therapy has helped me understand a lot of things. The most important of them, I think it was acceptance.

I feel so much better since I accepted that I have no control over this type of things. I couldn't change it even if I wanted to. I just have to go through it. And soon enough I'll be back playing once again."

"It's good to know your coming out better from this one. Sometimes things happen for a reason, and sometimes it's for the better"

"It's getting late, we should get going."

"Yeah. I'll give you a ride home."

For the rest of the day all you could think about was what you two had talked about.

Maybe you could use some acceptance yourself. Of how things were, and not what you think they should be.

And stop worrying so much about what you had no control over.

That's how it works when you live right? Life happens.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Have you guys been wondering what's been like for Lena? Well next chapter is Lena's pov!

It's still an Obi fic I swear.

I think from this chapter on, it's finally going to be good writing. I wasn't liking how things the previous parts came out.

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf x reader #lena oberdorf #vfl wolfsburg frauen #fc bayern frauen

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 months ago

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I am sick of people constantly reducing Alicent's entire character down to her being in love with Rhaenyra. I can ship it and still see Alicent as a separate character. Granted, I don't like the character arc they've written for her because it's slow as hell, it completely destroys her agency and it strands her outside of the main plot but people need to shut up about how Alicent was about to drown herself because of Rhaenyra kissing Mysaria.

First of all, she wasn't even trying to drown herself. I know that line about not being sure if she means to return to King's Landing was suspicious but at what point did Alicent show she was trying to drown herself? She wasn't just floating in the water, she was actually, very leisurely, swimming so she clearly didn't mean to drown. And she took off her dress to remain only in her underclothes since her dress would have gotten heavy and dragged her down. She was actively trying to avoid that and keep her dress dry, which means she very much meant to get out of the lake.

Second of all, I know the joke is that Alicent can sense Rhaenyra kissed another woman but I've seen people genuinely not saying it as a joke. She doesn't have the faintest clue what the fuck is happening with Rhaenyra and here's the part y'all are not gonna like - she doesn't actually care. If she got any kind of feeling something was off, it would have been drowned out by everything else that is wrong in her life and she perceives as her fault.

This woman has been having an ongoing existential crisis since the second fucking episode of this season when she decided her grandchild's brutal murder was a punishment from the gods for her sins. Things have only gone downhill from there. In episode three Rhaenyra delivered a truth that disillusioned Alicent about her excuse for going against Viserys' wishes and against Rhaenyra. She didn't actually believe he changed his mind about who should inherit the throne but it did provide her with an excuse that would give her enough peace of mind for her to not fall apart and prioritize her children's safety. Only for her grandson to get decapitated and for Rhaenyra to make it impossible to remain in denial about her own decision to go against her husband's wishes.

Given who Alicent is as a person, that would have been enough to send her spiraling but she now has to deal with - in her perception - the fact that her attempt to avoid the pain of losing her children has resulted in Helaena losing her child. She literally feels that she traded her children's lives for Helaena's son's life and avoiding mourning her children comes at the price of her passing that pain onto Helaena... and Aegon. However, Alicent cannot bear to empathize with Aegon's pain because he is the embodiment of all the ruin in her life. He was her first child, the first product of Viserys maritally raping her and still, he has her heart. He was the main challenge to Rhaenyra's reign. He would have to be killed first before any danger came for his brothers. He was the main reason she had to do what she did and expose Helaena to all this pain because she still wanted to save him. Jaehaerys was the price they paid for Alicent's attempt to keep Aegon alive. She blames him just as much for Helaena's suffering as she blames herself and that's what stops her from comforting him.

And then all that comes back to hurt her AND the realm again. Because of her behavior and her words Aegon decided to prove himself and is now disabled and disfigured by his own brother. Now Aemond has caused his siblings pain and she can't help any of them. She can't do anything for Aegon and Aemond won't let her do anything for him. She gives Aemond contradicting feelings and a disgust for the vulnerability he shows because of her the same way Aegon gives her contradicting feelings and disgust about his vulnerability and her own.

And on top of that! There was a riot that threatened Helaena. And while Alicent was there to protect her, all her life's work, all her attempts to do right by the small folk and be a good queen have been erased by a war that she had to fight for the sake of her children's lives. Everyone she's been trying to protect hates her and/or has pulled away from her. Things are even tense and uncertain between her and Criston - the guy she literally saved from taking his own life by becoming his cause! She's having a fucking existential crisis that's been slowly progressing since the end of the first episode! Rhaenyra's not anywhere near the top of her list with priorities. If I'm not mistaken she hasn't really mentioned her since the scene in the Sept. She's mentioned Viserys a few times instead.

While I'm not a fan of the way they're writing her as completely disconnected from the main plot since she's too busy having a meltdown, Alicent is having her own arc that revolves way more around her children rather than around Rhaenyra. Her feelings for Rhaenyra certainly are a part of that arc since her refusal to let go of them is what has stopped her from acting a lot more decisively towards protecting her children (all she had to do was tell her guards Rhaenyra was there when she left the Sept and she would have ended the whole war) but they aren't the sole point of her character as people too often claim, even if it's in jest.

#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #jaehaerys targaryen #hotd meta #anti rhaenicent #i'm not really against it but i am against the reduction of alicent's character to a rhaenyra simp #their relationship is interesting but so are all of alicent's relationships with other characters #i am sick of everything being made about rhaenicent when it isn't #alicent's character is just as much if not more about her relationships with her children

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souurcitrus · 4 days ago

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It's a shame we can't have more seasons of Arcane. I love this series and think it has an amazing lore, however, the second season left me so sad because there's so many cool stuff we could have gotten if it wasn't so short.

So, I'm just gonna post here what I think we could have gotten if there was more time, more episodes:

• We need to see more of Caitlyn's mourning. And how it really affects her. I think it's bullshit her mother dies and then she starts to act like she suffered more than Zaun as a whole, but if it's the reason she becomes a fascist, a least make me believe it harder.

• We get more time seeing Vi ans Caitlyn develop a relationship.

• Loris and Vi become friends and spend more time together after joining Caitlyn's strike team. So we got more content of Loris and maybe even Steb and Maddie.

• Maddie getting closer to Caitlyn because she admires her would make her betrayal more.... impacting.

• Viktor leaves and we don't hear of him for a while after starting to heal the people of Zaun.

• We see more of Ekko, Heimmer and Jayce before they dissappear. Maybe just scenes of them in different times before they are gone.

• Jinx takes longer to deal with Silco's death. Through the season, she talks about him like she can't accept that she killed him and sees him once in her head. I think we could have more of that, because Silco was one of the most important people to her.

• Sevika and Jinx fight often. They have trouble keeping the Last Drop alive and people who want to take over the bar become a problem.

• Sevika has to deal with the other Chem Barons. If they were the antagonist for Sevika, Jinx and Isca this season, it would be cool. They can't make so many cool Barons and not use them.

• And maybe, by seeing Jinx defeating the Chem Barons and causing trouble to the Enforcers, Zaun would change their views of her and then the Jinxers and the Firelights start to act.

• Vi spending more time as a Enforcer and her relationship with Cait changes because of their views.

• Isha and Jinx bond.

• Mel is kidnapped by the Rose and has to go through changelles, as the Rose wants her to unlock her power.

• The big Fight in ep 3 could have been at the end. And it kinda off closes the season, with Vi staying behind, Loris finding her after leaving Cait and they leave together to Zaun. While the Jinxers become more famous, and Jinx is happier with Isha and Sevika.

• Next season, Cait gains more power. Maddie starts to slowly get closer to her.

• The Jinxers and the Firelights are still on their fight against the Enforcers.

• Jinx is living with Isha in a 'fantasy', like Sevika says.

• We could see more of Jayce's mom trying to find him. People worrying about Ekko, Jayce, Mel and Heimmer disappearing. And Tobias Kiramman's opinion on his daughter drastic change.

• Without the Chem Barons, the empire of Shimmers falls, but there's still people that need Shimmer. That's when we start to hear about the Harold.

• And start to hear about a monster in Zaun.

• Sevika is trying to keep Zaun together. Maybe she even has a meeting with the Firelights to discuss what to next, how to keep everyone safe.

• Isha is captured with the other Jinxers. Jinx and Sevika save her. They find Warwick.

• Vi and Loris are living together. Vi is dealing with the breakup in the best way possible, Loris is worried about her, but she won't listen to him and keeps hurting herself. After she crosses the line in of the fights and Loris sees she doesn't want to help herself, he puts a distance between them.

• Jinx, Vi and Isha go after Warwick in the tunnels.

• They don't know what to do with him. Warwick can't control himself, so they hide in the tunnels with him, and he starts to slowly warm up to them again.

• Maybe Jinx goes after Sevika, who's having trouble dealing with her new 'job', and with the fact she's just like Silco and Vander now.

• Vi goes ask Loris for help, because I think it would be hilarious for someone who doesn't know Vander to see him like this and go 'what the hell is that thing?'. And Loris could be the one who tells the girls about the Harold.

• We see Ekko, Heimmer and Jayce in other dimensions again, trying to solve the mystery of the Arcane. And then, they accidentally fall in different universes.

• Mel figures out Kino is dead and faces LeBlanc, who offers to train her after failing to contain Mel's power. So now Mel has a mentor and knows about her mother gaining power in Piltover.

• We also see Cait become more ruthless, with Maddie by her side, trying to convince her that Ambessa is right and there's nothing wrong with what they're doing. Steb is just on the background thinking 'I should have left with Loris'.

• What if Ambessa convinces Cait to pay a visit to the Firelights' tree? Maybe Cait tries to help them escape, or is the Jinxers, Vi and Jinx who fight the Enforcers and help them escape, and unfortunately they lose the tree.

• The girls take Vander to Viktor and we see him unblocking his past. While the girls fix their bond and try to help the Firelights and the Jinxers against Piltover.

• Jinx is happy, but she's still struggling with a lot of things. I don't think Vi completely accepts her as her new 'me'. Jinx causes a big explosion that the Jinxers love, but Vi is angry. They fight about Vi joining the Enforcers and Jinx becoming a criminal.

• We could see more of ther time with Silco, and she talks about it to Vi. Isha is there having fun with Vander and we could see more of him in the past with the girls, Mylo, Claggor, little Ekko and Benzo.

• Ambessa hears about the Harold and goes after them with Singed and her army.

• We see Ekko in the other universe. I'm just a sucker that wants more happiness and to see the family all together. I want him spending more time with Benzo, Mylo and Claggor.

• Vander starts to get better. He has a full conscience and can speak a few words. Everyone is happy and have papa wolf back.

• Ambessa arrives, fucks shit up. Isha dies, driving Jinx closer to the edge and making her angrier with Piltover and even more mad. Vander is fine, if he could have just ended as Warwick and not Vander, it would be cool. Would drive him closer to the game lore.

• Next season, we got the war.

• Later, Ekko comes back to his world with the Z-Drive, to help the Firelights, finds out his tree is almost dying and prepares to fight Piltover. Jayce is there too, he has been trough hell. Everyone agrees they need to stop Ambessa. Cait is there too I guess, after seeing how far Ambessa will go.

• Cait is dealing with the consequences of her actions. Her relationship with Vi is shitty, Maddie is still trying to convince her that she did nlthing wrong.

• Ambessa is forbidden of stepping in Piltover again and stays in Viktor's little village, while Singed tries to heal Vik and use Warwick. He wonders if Warwick is still Vander or if he's gone.

• Jinx left. She's dealing with Isha's death poorly. Seeing Mylo, Claggor, Vander and Silco, getting more mad. Sevika tries to talk to her, Vi tries, Ekko tries, she won't listen.

• Ekko, Vi, Cait, Jayce, Sevika, the Jinxers, the Firelights, Loris and Steb join forces to defeat Ambessa and Viktor.

• Mel hears about the war and wants to go back to help. She's more powerful now, but still struggles with her powers.

• Our little group of heroes goes to Piltover to convince the Counsil that Ambessa is shit and they need to be ready for war. Nobody listens but they won't give up.

• We see Cait and Vi getting closer again, Maddie is there too.

• Ekko tells Vi about that other universe maybe?

• Mel comes back, talks to Jayce and the others. They start to get ready. Cait tries to convince Vi to take her badge again, she refuses. Ekko finds out she was a Enforcer for a few months and gets mad.

• Jinx is doing crazy shit, fuck everything, she doesn't care anymore.

• Mel goes talk to her mother, we get a bit of background. Viktor envolve in his new form. Mel helps Warwick escape, and he runs away. She runs back to Piltover.

• We see Ambessa turning her soldiers into monsters with the help of Singed. And Singed stealing parts for his daughter.

• Warwick is somewhere having a identity crisis.

• They start to protect the City and Zaun. Sevika, Ekko, Scar and Gert convince the people of the Undercity to help protect their nation. Sevika is the one who spends more time with Jayce in the council, and has beef with the other Counselors.

• Jayce and Ekko work together to build weapons to protect the city. Bonding :)

• The war starts slower. We can see people preparing to fight, we get Vi and Cait talking. Please no sex scene in the prison, that actually upset me.

• Maddie is acting weird. Someone finds her doing suspicious shit. Loris and Vi bond, Mel and Jayce spend time together and break up.

• Can we see Jaycs talking to his mom about what he saw in the other time-line? Or just talking to her about his dream or something? Also, Cait and Tobias talk. Cait feels like shit for distorting her mother's work.

• Ekko goes talk to Jinx to try to convince her to help them, she refuses, but thinks Isha, who wanted to help so bad, would be upset. She starts to act in secret.

• The fight starts. The Undercity and Piltover are all together, it's pretty cool. Mostly of the same thing happens.

• Jinx comes in a cool entrance, Ekko and the Firelights and the Jinxers are with her. Warwick comes too, not quite Vander, but not quite Warwick.

• Viktor and Jayce fight. Or better, Jayce tries to talk Viktor out of his madness. Maddie gets shit and dies. Loris can die or not, don't know.

• Sevika is there fighting and saving people and just being badass.

• I think I would let the Rose take Ambessa right after she tells Mel she's the wolf.

• Viktor starts his shit to turn everyone into dolls. Singed is just having tea in his lair. Jayce and Ekko saves the day as normal.

• I don't know if Jayce dies with Viktor, or if Viktor has a moment of compassion and stops his actions, letting himself be destroyed, just to be revealed to be alive later and still planning to do crazy shit.

• With the fight over, we see Jinx go back to being a criminal, Ekko, Sevika and Vi work to change the undercity, and Jayce is there to help them.

• Ekko wants to make what he saw in the other time-line becoming reality. Sevika sits on the Council, knowing it would be a long time until they reach what Vander and Silco dreamed for Zaun.

• Warwick is running around, Vi tries to talk to him sometimes, but he always leaves. We get an almost good ending to everyone, and maybe see what the Undercity becomes one day.

#arcane #arcane spoilers #league of legends #arcane league of legends #jayce talis #mel medarda #jinx #vi #caitlyn kiramman #vander #Warwick #sevika #ekko #ambessa medarda #viktor #viktor arcane #isha

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scar-lie · 1 year ago

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Hi! Could you maybe do a heavy angst where reader found out that Nat is cheating but still go home to Nat cuz she have no one to go, and then maybe Nat realising but it's too late cuz reader is dead! Pleaseee and Thank you!

-L

Widow [Natasha]

I DO COMMISSION JUST DM ME FOR THE INFO

Summary : Everything is lifeless in Natasha's lifee

Pairing: Natasha Romamoff x Fem ! Reader

Warning : Cheating,

Word Count : 1,432

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it let me know.

Everything seems blurry; every second passing by feels like eternity; the noises that surround her are getting muffled by the voices inside her head; and the scene in front of her feels like a dream, a nightmare that she fears in this world.

"Grand that our sister, Y/F/N, may sleep here in peace until you awaken her to glory, for you are the resurrection and the life. Then she will see you face to face and in your light will see the light and know—" Everything is suffocating: the people gather around for today's event; the sound of the rain with thunder; and the prayer from the priest in front of her.

It's all too much that she doesn't know how to feel—guilt, sadness, mourning, or disgust toward herself. She stopped listening to the people around her, but her mind kept running to the old days where everything seemed like a dream in their paradise but got tainted with horrifying blood.

It feels like she never gets to clean up her ledger after all.

(FEW MONTHS EARLIER)

Y/N's mind is messy; the scene she saw a few minutes ago can't seem to register in her head—or she just didn't want to believe it—and Y/N doesn't hear the car pulling up the driveway; she keeps stirring the dish she's cooking for dinner.

"Y/N?" Natasha shouts, panicking and worried about what's going to happen even though she already knows what's waiting for her, and as much as she hates to deal with it, she has to face it.

Natasha stopped seeing you steering something in the pot and focused on your thoughts, which made her hand sweat, so she slowly but cautiously walked to you.

"Y/N? Baby?" She whispers softly when she finally reaches the kitchen table, keeping the distance in case you don't want her near you.

"Y/N?" Natasha calls you out a bit louder, which makes her so anxious that she starts to pick her own skin on your hand.

You snapped out of her thoughts when you heard your name being called, and you know who the person is: Natasha, your wife for over 5 years now, the woman you love dearly.

You sighed and took a deep breath before you turned off the stove and turned around, trying to be as calm as possible and give her the warmest smile that you could.

"Oh, you're home; sorry I didn't hear you." You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to be as positive and unsuspisious as possible.

Natasha frowns at your acting; this isn't what she expects your reaction to be; she expects you to pack your stuff or rage at you; she expects you to shout at her, but she didn't push it and went to her plan and apologized to you.

"Y/N, I'm sorry, I swear it doesn't mean anything, I-I love you." Natasha softly begged, slowly walked toward you, and took your hands on hers.

"What are you sorry for?" This clearly caught Natasha off guard; she does know what was happening to you, whether you're pretending you didn't know or you truly don't know, and she can't read you; she doesn't know either way.

"The affair," Natasha simply said, playing it safe and trying to test you.

"What affairs, wh-what are you talking about?" If you're in the running for the Oscar for best actress, you're definitely winning the award.

"Are you having an affair?" You asked with knotted eyebrows and a questionable tone.

"Uhm.....no, sorry, just.....forget I said anything, okay?" Natasha quickly withdraws and kisses your forehead, hugging you tightly, afraid you will be gone.

She would rather lie to your face than lose you; she doesn't know if she will be in her right mind when you're finally gone, and she can't imagine the future without you.

"Dinner's ready; are you hungry?" You asked, tapping her bicep, and she nodded, then proceeded to kiss your face.

"Stop, please," you whisper and beg her, and she smiles and nods, letting you prepare the dining table while she goes upstairs and takes a quick shower.

You can't sleep or think straight; your mind is only focusing on what happened earlier. You look over your shoulder to your wife, who's sound asleep while her arm is wrapped around your waist.

You sigh, seeing her peacefully sleeping form behind you while you can't seem to find a little bit of tiredness in your body to fall asleep.

Your mind is filled with thoughts: how she held her, the way she touched her, kissed her, and pleasured her, the things she did to you, and the things you have done with her that she's now doing with another woman behind your back.

The promise you both held in front of the altar is now broken; her loyalty and faithfulness had been tainted with dark ink, which ruined your marriage.

The promise of in sickness and in health is on the edge of your marriage, but you decided against it; you chose to be silent and blind to her lies.

Even though she cheated on you, you can't leave because you have no one to run to, no place to stay but this house, no one to call but her, and no one to hold on to if you decide to break the marriage.

You risk everything to be with her; you lose your acting and modeling career; you turn around on your family; you push away your friends just to be with her; and now, you have no place to go; you have no one but yourself.

"Nat?" Natasha snapped out of her thoughts when Wanda tapped her shoulder, worried.

"Ye-yes?" Natasha whispers, looking up at her with a defeated face.

Everyone is already on their way home; do you want us to drive you off? "Wanda looked at her with sympathy while Natasha looked around to the darkish raining field and saw no one but her teammates, the Avengers, who dressed in all black with black umbrellas, looking to the both of them, waiting.

"Oh........uh, no, thank you. You all can drive back; I want to stay here." Natasha gave Wanda a sad smile and tapped her hand that was in Natasha's bicep.

"Are you sure? We don't want you to be alone." Natasha nodded at Wanda.

Ok," even though Wanda didn't want to leave her alone, she didn't push Natasha; instead, she pulled out her handkerchief and extended her hand to Natasha.

"Take this at least," Wanda said. Natasha looked down at the white handkerchief with a flowered design at the edges.

She swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw it. It's your handkerchief, one of your favorites; it's one from your mother, which is why you love it, but when Wanda joined the Avengers, you decided to give it to her as a welcome gift.

"Thank you," Natasha whispers, taking the handkerchief while her tears keep flowing down her cheeks.

"Call us if you need us." Wanda gives Natasha a smile and finally turns around to join the team and go home with them.

The team is worried for Natasha, especially Clint, when they see Wanda walk on her own, but they respect Natasha's decision and let her mourn.

The team didn't know what happened; you decided to keep it to yourself. When you decided to stay, not a single soul knew that you knew about the affair.

Natasha doesn't know what to feel; she doesn't know what is the right thing to do; she feels guilty and disgusted for having an affair; she's sad that she missed the last few months of her life with you when she was busy somewhere else; and she's mourning the loss of her love, her greatest love.

You're her life, the sun in her dark and rainy days, the rainbow in her sky, and her nature in her land; without you, she will be nothing, a useless woman who seeks her lover's embrace; she will never be Natasha Romanoff without you in her arms; she'll go crazy if ever so

Now she's soaked from standing alone in a cold, rainy cemetery, standing in front of your newly fresh grave in all black, her umbrella long forgotten that she dropped, crying silently while looking at the dirt in front of her, a nightmare that she didn't expect so soon to come true.

She's now living under her own name as a Widow.

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harocat · 2 years ago

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Telling people who loved Harry Potter ‘just find a new magic school’ or 'read another book' or whatever just kind of misses the point because no matter how many magic schools they read or watch none of them are going to ‘replace HP’ since we all got into HP when we were kids and teenagers, and now we’re in our 20s/30s.

And like you can read or watch a million pieces of media created by better people and none of them can ‘replace’ HP because you can’t go back in time and undo how formative it was. So the ‘just read this other series’ is kind of… totally non-productive.

It’s not a matter of replacing HP, because that is absolutely not going to happen. It’s a matter of moving on from HP, which is… an entirely different thing. And people should be allowed to grieve something that has been a big part of their life for so long, and the whole approach of ‘read other books!! Find another magic school!!’ isn’t helpful. I’m sure they’re already reading other books, but finding another magic school or another series they adore is not going to retroactively fill the hole left by something they’d loved since they were twelve. This approach is just totally wrong.

People need to talk about moving on and just letting that little hole in your heart heal in time, not replacing. You can say lol it’s just fiction, and it is, but like, for me, for example, HP has been there for most of my life and I have a TON of memories tied up in it.

And they’re really wonderful memories and really huge moments in my life. Some of the absolute best times of my life are tied up into HP.

That’s not just something I can resolve by just…. reading another book series (and I was an absolutely voracious reader growing up, long before HP came along, so I’ve read plenty of things already thanks). It totally misses what people are dealing with here. I know it's probably hard to understand if you've not been in this situation, but people are legitimately mourning. Don't be an elitist ass.

(This is not me making an excuse for people still buying HP merch, playing that game, etc. Do not do that, period. You fucking suck if you do.)

#harry potter i guess

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mydarlingbat · 4 months ago

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THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BATMAN AND HIS ROGUES AND THE JOKER #3

After many weeks of hard work i am finally finished. Now let me just put this out there. This was incredibly difficult to do. I had times that i just thought about giving up on it, because it felt like it would take forever to complete. Plus you must be notify that this can not be the last part to this analyses, especially since i have six hundred panels crop up. The hunt i did to prove their relationship isn't the same as Batman's and Joker's relationship was exhausting. God, i searched my ass off theses last few weeks. It was a challenge but i came through. If you don't know why i made the decision to do this? Well here's why! There's some comments that directly states that Batman sees all his villains the exact same. He treats all of them the same. Batman thinks of them as his friends. When I'm sitting here like what did you just spew out your mouth? Although it is untruthful it's what theses people believe. It's not even a little truth wandering around in there. Now tell me right now who did Batman call his friend that's a so call villain, besides Harvey who was already his friend in the past. The Joker is the only villain Batman has repeatedly called his friend, and his partner. His ally. He even called the Joker his, as well. The Joker is the only villain Batman reaches over to touch his hand, and holds his hand in his own. Letting him know he doesn't want his death on his hands. The only villain who shot a member of the family, nevertheless still shares a laugh with Batman It wasn't later that day. It wasn't the next day. It was in that exact moment between the two of them. After all the Joker's done. Bruce shares a laugh with him. Can you display it before my eyes. Show me a villain that Batman did this with? Right after they injured someone Bruce loved dearly. Show me!!! I want you to prove to me that Batman mourns the lost of people. The innocent lives for months in the cave. I don't want you to say well he thinks about it time from time. No, no, that's not what i want to hear. That's not what i desire to hear when you come at me in my ask box. The one's who are hostile towards me because i am staring at the full picture you refuse to acknowledge. Prove your case to me? Demonstrate it to me the best way you can. If you can prove that Batman carries villains in his arms like he does with the Joker. Not once, but over and over again. If you could prove some of Batman rogues death that caused Batman to be so affected that he couldn't see straight. Tell me a villain who Batman imagine in intimate ways. A man who saw poster's of the Joker in a bubble bath. He saw the Joker in dresses. He saw the Joker as his true love on posters. He imagine the Joker talking about his cod piece. How amazing he was. How nothing can take the Batman down in so many words. A man who imagine the Joker constantly flirting with him. A man who knew the Joker knew his identity. yet you can't even give me a list of comics that even verify what you're blabbing. Now i always said Batman deals with death differently, but look at the first panel. Look at how Batman reacts to theses deaths. How he glances over it quickly. How there's no true emotion present. He can hide it. He can hide behind the mask, however it doesn't eat away at Bruce's soul that he stays in the bat cave. It doesn't eat at his soul that he mourns for months, not hardly patrolling anymore. It doesn't affect him enough for him to stop doing his job for a little while. It doesn't interfere with his mood.

You need to see the difference between Batman and The Joker relationship. You need to swallow the cold harsh truth, instead of lying to yourself. Making up assumption. Batman doesn't even much as check to see if theses people are alive. Then with the Joker he maneuvers around the body, like he have to be absolute sure he's dead. Though you might say that Batman thought they were dead already. Well! News flash Batman thought the Joker was dead too. He even lets Alfred know the Joker is dead twice. Then he goes on to advise that the Joker can't tell him anything because he's dead. Then Alfred affirms to Bruce that he wouldn't have told him anyways. Which i find hilarious, because Alfred knows Bruce just wants to bring this man back to life, and on top of that Batman believes the Joker is dead, yet he still has the Joker in his arms. There's no pleasant smile on Bruce's face. This isn't a simple glance over. You can clearly see the dark Knight is in distress about the Joker's death.

But let's not stop there shall we? because you still won't believe me. The second panel is a man who's wretched by the Joker's death. He can't believe he's dead. I mean do you see all that blood? The third image exhibits the exact same results from the dark Knight. Batman probably thinks the Joker is going to die in his arms, even so he still holds him in his arms, totally forgetting there's people out to eliminate him. The second panel he lowers himself to the Joker's level to see if he's alive, but theses villains here. Batman shows no kind of real emotion. I'm sorry you're dying or dead, but you're not the Joker

Wait don't skip out on it just yet. Harvey falls to his death. There's no yelling. There's no Batman screaming his name out. A man gets stab Batman does not hollar and mourn this person later that day in the cave. A bell falls on top of a man right in front of Batman. He dies right after the incident. Batman doesn't even bat an eye. He doesn't even show a little sympathy. Not even a simple 'no' Batman does feel sorry for Harvey's death though. I won't deny that, although he's not hollering from the top of his lungs. He's not saying please don't kill him.

Wait, but didn't Batman say the exact words that he couldn't save the Riddler because it was too much blood. No one survives that??? You know what's funny though? The Riddler survived it. However the Joker appears to have been shot six or seven times .There's blood all over the floor, despite that Batman goes out of his way to see if this man is alive, and can survive until he makes it to the Lazarus pit.

The same man who murdered Jason todd. The same man who tried to murder Commissioner Gordon over and over again, Dick Grayson. The same man who started the war. The man same man who made Batman lose all his money. All his gadgets. The same man who tried to murder Catwoman.The same man who paralyzed batgirl. The Joker does all of this to Batman, and Batman refuses to leave him to die in the snow. He refuses to let him die on the boat even though he just try to eliminate all three of them. The man who refuse to let the Joker just die in Batman #100 but gave him a way out.

although Batman leaves a man in the snow who's neck is broken. Who can't move a limb, it appears. He leaves this man in the snow to die all because he tried to murder Dick Grayson? Let's not forget the Joker tried to murder a Robin again. Right after the Joker war. Batman still saves him. You know what people always bragging about now? Batman #100. Didn't you see? Batman left the Joker to die. He didn't care if he died. No, no, go read the comic again. Batman outright informs the Joker how to get out of there. Believe me Batman stares at the Joker, being fully aware that the Joker was going to escape. I just can't picture Bruce letting Alfred burn in the explosion either. Batman has to make a choice. The Joker wanted change. Well, Batman's giving it to him, because at that moment the Joker wants to see what Batman will do, but even after this. Batman saves the Joker not long after. He even tells Gordon that he wants to bring the Joker in safe. If he saves the Joker enough times. Maybe it'd make up for the time he left him. Batman has no desire to kill the Joker even when they're in the cell again. Batman is shocked by the Joker condition he's in right now. He's not even angry. After all the Joker puts him through. He still begs Harley not to force his hand in making this decision. Batman #100. This man in the snow has no way of getting up. The Joker has a way. Batman is aware of this, however Batman let's the other man lie in the snow.

But let's not stop there either. Batman repeatedly tell Harley Quinn she's not killing The Joker. If Batman didn't want the Joker alive. He could've left him to Harley.

Wait! We're not through yet. I mean let's not look over the fact that Batman knew the gun Harvey had would backfire on him. Nonetheless Batman still shows no reaction to Harvey being shot by his own firearm, and not only that Batman does not hold Harvey dent in his arms. Also Harvey is knocked off of a building. Batman goes to save him and doesn't hollar from the top of his lungs. What are you going to tell me that it had a couple of times Batman scream from the top of his lungs for Harvey dent. I can recall a few. Sooooooooooo??? Three or four comics don't matter to me. When hundreds and hundreds prove otherwise. Those few is irrelevant to me. You want to know how much Batman cares about the Joker dying? He got infected with the very thing he ran from, because he wanted to hold the Joker in his arms, and softly tell him to stay with him. Stay with him. You know this sounds like Batman endgame, when Batman tells the Joker to stay with him. There's only two issues Batman scream for two face. It wasn't from the top of his lungs either.

This is a man who cares about someone. You claim he doesn't give a shit about , and don't worry. I have plenty more panels to prove you wrong. He hates The Joker, but he loves him too. This is a man who screaming from the top of his lungs for the Joker. It's not a simple Harvey with his mouth open. It's not a simple 'No' It's more than that. It's filled with emotion. It means more when the Joker died. Bruce and Harvey isn't a bad ship. There's a few moments between them that makes me understand why people ship it, but Batman sees his friend in two face, but with the Joker Batman just finds that friendship with the Joker. It's not from them being friends already. It's a bond. It's a bond Batman can't even explain. That's why it's so special.

I'm really just trying to get people to understand why i ship Batman and Joker. You think if i found six comics that showed chemistry between theses two that i would start shipping it?? The answer is absolutely not. Batman and Joker relationship goes back to the Golden age comics. It's not something that just been presented to us. It's been here. It's been subtle. Hidden in plain sight, even so it was there. Theses panels here gives me life. The fact that the Joker murdered all those people in Batman brave and the bold : winning card, and Batman still doesn't want to hurt him. It says too much. The man tells Batman he'd come quietly. Batman doesn't even lay a hand on him. He takes him in quietly.

Part four next.

#batjokes #batman and joker #batman x joker #the joker #Batman and Joker relationship #theories

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komorim · 1 year ago

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to generations after us

-> kamisato ayato x f!reader

[ synopsis. ] a while has passed since the death of your husband, and everything seemed to have changed but nothing seemed to have changed at the same time. your routine and life will always be constant, yet the scenery and people of inazuma will never be identical to the ones before. and neither will your heart.

‣ when the sky weeps ⋮ find the masterlist here !!

[ content warnings. ] character death. reader has children with ayato. angst. mentions of suicide. suicidal thoughts. there’s not a lot to say; it’s not dark content. reader is a kitsune from japanese folklore.

[ word count. ] 1.7k

[ author’s note. ] hooray! the first one shot of my pair of one shot collections! i’m starting to regret making myself suffer through writing twelve oneshots, but it is what it is :p please bear in mind that updating of the collections won’t be very fast (like any of my updates :x) but i will try to upload two at a time, one for each collection. i originally planned on having the initial upload be four one shots so you all have something to read while i’m cooking up the rest, but i only got three done and i decided to just post one first :x

day one, day two, day three. how many days has passed was originally clear to you at first, but then there came one point in time that you lost track. when you lost track of the number of days passed since one of the biggest milestones in your ever lasting life.

since the day your husband, the love of your life, the father of your children, had passed away.

looking back on it now, you don't believe that your life had much of a change after his death. after all, it wasn’t your first time experiencing loss. yet this time was somewhat different. it wasn’t just a friend or a mortal you had attachment to that passed. no. it was your husband, the one who who married you, the one you mothered children with, the one you gave your heart to.

the first couple of days were dreadful, trying to comfort your children from the pain of losing their father and having to deal with awful words thrown at you because you haven’t shed a tear.

but what do they know?

as a mother, how could you make your children worry for you when they’re already mourning? how could you cry your heart out and voice your desire to die with him? you didn’t have the liberty of doing so.

so you could only resort to silently weeping as your hand rests over what was once ayato’s side of the bed. in the middle of the night, all you could think about was how regretful you were that you weren’t by his side, how you couldn’t hear his last words nor caress his face like you once did one last time. yet after weeks of barely sleeping, you still had to act as if you were okay in order to not raise the attention of your children.

though day by day, you continue such behavior and the negativity that surrounds you only grows.

seeing the kamisato estate as it was before, the same the last time you saw ayato slowly crumbled your will into pieces. you can almost see him in the shadows, smiling at you as he calls you to come join him for dinner, frowning as he scolds your laziness, smirking as he looks at your flushed face when he walks out of the shower half naked, humming as he walks down the hallways.

it’s all too familiar.

everything and anything reminds you of him. his cologne is still placed in the same place last time he used it. his toothbrush still sits in the stand next to yours. his coat still hangs by the door. his shoes still rest on the rack.

nothing seems to have changed, but everything did.

the streets on inazuma city still look the same as when you and him last went on a date. your favorite food stand is still selling your usual order. the trees are still in full blossom.

yet your loving commissioner isn’t there anymore.

how are you supposed to keep pretending? how are you supposed to reassure your children again and again that you’re taking his death well when that red moving object in your chest cavity has long withered and died?

how can you hug them and looks at them when their features resemble half of his?

you had missed him too much, and wanted to feel him and smell the scent of him terribly. you wanted to hug him, and kiss him, and ask for him to comfort you as he always did. then your attention fell onto the the white coat he wears everyday. it was bound to be covered in his scent, and after contemplating whether it was worth it to destroy the way he left things, you gave in to the urge.

bringing the coat back to the bed, you cuddled up to it and hugged it tightly, breathing in the faint scent of ayato. the crumpling of paper you heard was odd, knowing that it wasn’t a sound a normal coat was supposed to make. and when you pulled out the now slightly wrinkled envelope, tears started to pool in your eyes when you recognized the familiar penmanship.

you opened the seal carefully, not wanting to destroy the last thing he left you, and you pulled out the piece of paper that has already aged. it made you wonder how long ago he had first wrote this.

how long ago was he expecting his abrupt end.

my dear, the love of my life, my darling fox,

you hadn’t even begun to read its contents before a choked sob forced its way through your throat, emotional already at the mention of his pet names for you. names that you loved to hear.

how are you doing? probably not so good since you most likely are reading this after the news of my death. you can almost hear his light chuckle. i once remember you asking me why it is that i started to keep one hand in my pocket out of habit. now you probably know why. even without me telling you, you were always so very smart and perceptive. which was why it made me so nervous trying to keep this letter a secret. as your beloved husband, i know i shouldn’t be keeping secrets from you, but i had to. i knew you’d give me an earful if you knew about me writing such a letter when i’m “so young and have many years ahead of me.” but i had to write something like this soon. because who knows when i might die? the thought of it breaks my heart as well, but we both knew this would happen one day. after all, i am a mortal. if i had the choice, i would sell my soul and more to obtain immortality, since how could i bear to just leave you one day? but it’s the inevitable truth that my end will definitely come before yours. so i keep looking, keep staring at your face and features, trying to engrave them into my mind and heart and soul so that i never forget you even long after i’ve passed. even as i write this, i often glance up at your sleeping features on the bed. how beautiful you are. and how it saddens me to imagine those beautiful features i love distort into pain and grief. which is why i hope i can stay longer, just a bit longer. one more minute, one more hour, one more day. i hope that with my presence, i can make you smile for that much longer. though i understand that your smile from the day i die on will probably only be for the sake of presentation. to reassure, to comfort. after all, you never truly smiled until you fell in love with me. and that’ll always be the proudest achievement of my life. but please, don’t be too saddened by my passing. i understand the love you harbor for me, but please don’t let it be the reason you’re awake at night. a mortal’s life is short compared to yours, and you still have many years, many decades, many centuries. without me, you still have our children, and their children, and their children, and many generations after. you are never alone, my love. and there will be much, much more people in the future who will love and accompany you as i did.

the letter wasn’t complete, since you had a habit of calling him to bed every time he stayed up working. but you knew the purpose that the letter was supposed to serve. to make you feel better. but the day by day torture and regret that you put yourself through has already put you into an abyss so deep that a simple farewell letter couldn’t pull you out.

you became secluded, just like how your life was before a certain kamisato rudely interrupted.

he swept in, rescuing you from fox hunters when he was no better. the hunters wanted your life, and him making you fall in love and then leaving is no different. and the more you think about it, the more resent grows, and the moment of comfort that the letter brought you was long forgotten.

he wooed you with his sweet words and warm smile until you willingly handed him your heart. and then he left you alone, just like nothing had happened. but what was worse was that he didn’t just leave, no, he took your heart with him too.

you were used to loneliness for centuries. you enjoyed the leisurely life you had. but now that you’ve seen happiness, seen companionship, seen love, how were you supposed to go back to your previous life?

it’s cruel. what he did was unforgiving. and asking you not to despair? it was selfish.

he was alike a caretaker that has made an animal dependent on him and then pushed them back into the wild. a caretaker that stripped the abilities of hunting and survival from a wild animal before abandoning them once again. a caretaker that rescued an animal in need before blowing out the fire of hope.

how could he? more importantly, how are you going to survive without your caretaker? you’ve grown used to it all in this habitat that you loved, and now you can’t imagine a life without him.

you’ve grown miserable, resentful, to the point that you can’t help but want to tell him that you’ll never forgive him for the rest of your life.

but you can’t. you love him too much, gave him your all and more. he’s the man you loved, the first and only man you loved, and the one that loved you the most. how could you ever have it in your heart to hate him? how could you hate someone that first thought about you when the idea of their own death comes into mind?

one moment you’re screaming, sobbing from all the pain and anguish, and the next you’re begging for something, somewhere, that they could bring him back to you.

because without her caretaker, the silly fox that already gave her heart away would die in the wild.

do not copy or repost my works. likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated.

#[🎐]. works #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #genshin kamisato ayato #genshin ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato imagines #ayato kamisato imagines #ayato x fem!reader #ayato x y/n #ayato x reader #ayato scenarios #kamisato ayato x reader

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prolix-yuy · 1 year ago

Note

ok bangathon request

gentle romantic after argument sex missionary.

im so boring but there it is

There's nothing boring about missionary! And with one of my favorite couples, it's sure to be much more than that too...

Pairing: Pero Tovar x F!Reader

Position: Missionary

Word Count: 900

Warnings: Explicit, 18+ MINORS DNI, PiV sex, unprotected sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), creampie, discussions on infertility, Pero being a dumbass but he makes up for it.

Notes: A continuation of the Pero Tovar and his Guerrera series.

Many would say that Pero has little tact with women. He’s brutish in all ways a man can be, and that must extend to the people he lets into his bed. Anyone who’s seen him with his Guerrera would only think it proof of their opinions. The way they snarl and scratch at each other, their constant biting remarks, the sheer amount of eye-rolling as they listen, all point to Pero being impossible to deal with.

They’re only partly right.

Most days the barbs are playful, their conversation scalding because they can both handle the heat. Pero could not imagine a partner that’s soft and simpering to him. He loves her sharpness and how quickly she will join him in a debate.

Sometimes, however, he does take it a step too far.

When he enters their bedroom tonight, he’s soft of foot and quiet. The door snicks shut behind him, his clothing removed and laid out of sight. You’re turned to the wall, coldly ignoring him preparing for bed.

Get your hands off me.

Oh don’t be so dramatic, Pero.

Then do not go about flailing your sword at every moment.

So five men against you is fair odds?

I am - just go and do…whatever it is you do.

What do you think I’d be doing if I wasn’t saving your skin?

Being a real woman somewhere far from here.

Pero knew he’d hit something far more painful than he intended when you were silent, the easy smile falling from your face. What he didn’t expect were the tears that bubbled to the surface, ones you hotly scrubbed from your face.

Of course, because a real woman will tend your home and have your babies.

Pero’s stomach drops at the memory, knowing how he pulled something so fresh and painful to the surface over a tavern brawl. How after his seed didn’t take one drunken night you told him it never would. That you could never be with child, and how you’d come to accept it. Pero had felt the twin pains of sadness and relief, knowing that this life was not for a child but still mourning the loss. He told you it did not change the color of his love one bit, but in his petulance he used it as a weapon against you.

The bed sinks under his weight as he sits on the edge, watching you curl into yourself. Pero sighs, words failing him as they always do.

“Mi vida,” he says, stroking his fingertips along the back of your shoulder. To his surprise you turn to your back, eyes puffy and tired, but the anger he expected drained from your bones. His hand slides to your hip, stroking his thumb into the flesh. His eyes meet yours, and a subtle nod urges him under the furs. Clamoring between your legs, he settles on his elbows over you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, searching your face for anything you’ll give. Another pause, this one aided by your hand on his cheek, before you give him another small nod. Pero leans down and presses a chaste kiss to your lips, your arms wrapping around his neck.

“You are my life,” he murmurs, your legs wrapping around his hips as he presses you into the mattress.

“I know,” you say, placing a kiss of your own on his plush lips.

Words dissolve on your tongues as Pero shows his remorse better than he can say. Between the long devotions of lips, he lifts your legs higher to press into you, sheathing his cock inside. The roll of his hips is slow and languid, sometimes forgotten altogether in favor of returning to kiss you more. He cups your head and nips along your jaw, lets his thumb trace your nipple to a gentle peak. When you start to pant with his motions he teases you with the tips of his fingers, finding the place that clenches you around him. He doesn’t care to cum, he just wants to be as close to you, as deep within you as you’ll take him.

Your first peak flutters his lashes, nails biting into his back as he grinds you through your high. He follows that with a second, quieter one that shakes you in his arms. Your final one comes when you nod at him to chase his release, the slap of skin on skin and hushed confessions drowned out by the roar of his spend painting your walls.

When he comes down enough to curl you into his body, he finally finds the words.

“You are every part the woman I want, and need,” he says, tangled up with limbs and feelings he’s trying out for the first time. “You are everything.”

“Thank you, Pero,” you say, pulling back to rest your head on the pillow beside him. “And if you ever say otherwise I’ll take the only part of you that can continue your lineage.”

“I would be so lucky to lose them to you,” he rasps, the tremble of your giggle easing his mind. He stays inside you until he softens enough to slip out, and even then he considers plugging you up with his fingers to keep his seed inside. It’s a dream he will never speak to you, not willing to hurt you so deeply again, but he’s willing to nurse it. He’s seen greater miracles, after all.

END

LJ’s Bangathon 2023

#pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar x f!reader #pero tovar x you #pero x reader #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar and his guerrera #pero tovar x female reader

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queen-dahlia · 2 years ago

Text

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟱 𝗥𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

The crimes of the Obsidian royal family are heavy,

Even if we accumulate many good deeds from now on, we will not be able to redeem them.

I never intended to buy it in the first place. Evil was going to remain evil and scatter gracefully.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "… Do you love me that much?"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Until I saw "that face" in a dance hall, where I rarely set foot,

(In the end, bad luck, or whatever you call it...)

I've had a bomb in my body since childhood, and the success rate of treatment to remove it was supposed to be extremely low.

On top of that, I was supposed to have deteriorated to the point where I was told I had a short life expectancy, yet here I am, alive.

(... I can't say I'm in great shape.)

My breathing is more difficult with only light exercise than before.

Still, the pain that I had been dealing with through deceit and manipulation was much lessened.

(… It was.)

I hide behind a pillar, regulating my ragged breath.

Back at Obsidian Castle, the little rabbit was crying alone in the laboratory.

The letter in her hand lets her know that she has fallen into a villain's trap.

(Poor thing. It's no fun to just greet the little rabbit, so I played a prank on her...)

(I never thought you would cry like that.)

I am not a noble person who can make you shed tears, even if I am wrong.

If she mourns the death of a villain, she should be overwhelmed by the grief of being killed by a trampling beast.

(But unfortunately, I don't have a guilty conscience.)

(I've never once thought I did anything wrong, you know...)

I approach the little rabbit with my hood pulled over my eyes.

I definitely see myself as Roderich now.

Gilbert: "Did you find anything?"

When I imitate his voice and ask her a question, the little rabbit holds out a crumpled letter.

Gilbert: "… I see."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "Would you… like me to become Lord Gilbert myself?"

(... Actually, I wanted to ask her.)

(Do you want me, or do you want anyone who looks like me?)

A man who had lived his whole life without believing in love did not stop to smile bitterly at how troublesome this kind of thing was.

Gilbert: "I may start out as a different person, but if I keep acting like him, I could become the real thing."

Gilbert: "From now on, I will spend more time with you than with Lord Gilbert."

Gilbert: "If so… the replacement of one person for another will still be a fresh wound."

Gilbert: "I will act perfectly. That's why I've been there for you all along." **

The little rabbit, who thinks completely that I'm Roderich, shakes her head repeatedly.

Emma: "… You may look alike… but you're not the same person."

Emma: "I… fell… in love… with Gilbert..."

Emma: "Even if he's gone..."

Emma: "I'm sure I'll never... ever... even be able to give up his heart..."

Emma: "I think I will… continue to have my first and last love." // "I think… I'm going to keep falling in love for the first and last time."

(. . . . . .)

For the first time, I thought people's crying faces were beautiful.

(...I see.)

(I see...)

I cupped her wet cheeks in my palms and wiped away the spilled tears.

(You love me, you really love me.)

(… You're an idiot.)

Emma: "… It's cold..."

(Oh, she noticed me.)

Gilbert: "But it's nice, isn't it?"

The little rabbit's eyes widened in surprise.

I was amused at how quickly I switched from one to the other, and I chuckled, then took off my hood.

Gilbert: "Surprised?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "I wanted to see the little rabbit crying her eyes out."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "But it's your fault for not reading the letter to the end."

Gilbert: "Didn't it say, 'I'm out of the office right now, but I'll be right back'?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "Well, I thought you would get the wrong idea just reading the beginning."

(No, I'm terrible.)

(You're a real idiot to fall in love with a man like me.)

Gilbert: "But still, you look terrible... Hehe, you must have been so sad."

She still can't believe it, and her hand is outstretched.

When I grasped her hand tightly, her clear eyes became brighter, like jewels.

Emma: "… I missed you."

Emma: "I... missed you so much..."

(… Now, for the first time in my life, I feel guilty.)

Gilbert: "… I thought Little Bunny would get angry and say, "Don't do something that's not a joke!"

Emma: "… You wanted to make me angry."

Gilbert: "Yeah, you're cute when you're angry."

Gilbert: "But you are even prettier when you honestly say you missed me."

Gilbert: "I'm lucky to be alive."

When I dared to make a cheerful voice to blow away the gloomy atmosphere of the place,

The little rabbit's expression softened at last.

Emma: "... Your body..."

Gilbert: "They cut me open and did this and that directly to me, so..."

Emma: "!?"

Gilbert: "Ah, surgery isn't mainstream at Rhodolite yet."

Gilbert: "There's been a lot of research in Obsidian in recent years. That there are treatments like that."

(Medical tower specialists, including Walter, have been researching this for years, and I sometimes give my opinion...)

(That's how we built Obsidian's healthcare today.)

We take pride in being far more advanced than other countries.

It is one of the few things that Obsidian can be proud of.

(I'm sure this will eventually become a diplomatic card too... though unlike weapons, it's not something I'm willing to give away.)

Gilbert: "I'm not in the best of shape, to be honest. I tried my best when I heard Little Bunny had returned, but..."

Emma: "… Don't strain yourself, let's go to your room."

Gilbert: "No. When I go back to my room, Walter comes in on a regular basis."

Gilbert: "I forced him to go to the medical tower today, but it's time for him to come back…"

Gilbert: "I'd like to have a little more time alone with Little Bunny."

With what I just said, she realized that the whole thing was a set-up trap.

A dumbfounded smile appears on the face of the little rabbit.

Emma: "... I hope you are cured of your illness."

(She's not mad at me for tricking her.)

(Frankly, if I live, it's going to interfere with a lot of plans—)

(Well, I'm happy, and the little rabbit seems happy, too.)

Like a villain, I decided to surrender myself to my convenient feelings for today.

══════════════════

—The first thing I wanted to do when the little rabbit came back was have an unveiling party.

I have been treating her as a guest of Obsidian until now,

I was merciful enough to let her return to Rhodolite at any time, but I don't need that kind of consideration anymore.

(I decided to tie her to the throne so she couldn't go anywhere and keep her by my side forever.)

It would have been impossible to welcome a woman of unknown background to the imperial family, but,

With the "royal family" on the verge of collapse, I can do whatever I want.

(Besides, I'll destroy the concept of the royal family. …Whether I'll die then is another thing to worry about.)

Emma: "… Gilbert."

When the assembled soldiers dispersed and left us alone together,

The little rabbit on the throne opened her mouth fearfully.

Gilbert: "What is it?"

Emma: "Well..."

Emma: "I feel like a lot of things have been skipped over."

Gilbert: "Yeah, for example?"

Emma: "Even though I lied, we weren't even lovers in the first place."

Gilbert: "I know. We're friends."

Emma: "... But I don't think my friends would kiss me like that either."

Gilbert: "What kind of kiss is that?"

Emma: "Uh... I'll omit it."

Gilbert: "Ahaha, that's the first."

Emma: "Anyway! We weren't even lovers, and now suddenly there's an atmosphere of marriage…" // "Anyway! Even though we weren't even lovers, the atmosphere is that we suddenly got married…" **

Emma: "I'm not sure if my mind can keep up with all of this, but I don't think that being an empress is something for an ignorant woman to take on..."

Gilbert: "Don't worry. The hard stuff will be done by the various specialists, and I'll do the smart work myself."

I've been making steady preparations so that I don't have to worry when I'm gone.

Now Obsidian is able to turn without the worst of the emperor.

Gilbert: "All you have to do is make a "humane" decision. Easy, isn't it?"

(The people who can't do that are the Obsidian royalty, including myself... but not you.)

I was genuinely interested in what kind of judgment the little rabbit, who grew up in a place unrelated to power, would make when she took the throne. // I was genuinely curious to see how the innocent little rabbit, who had grown up in a place with no connection to authority, would make decisions once she took her place on the throne.

Gilbert: "And then there's the matter of the mind not being able to keep up? That's okay, too."

Gilbert: "We'll just have a lot of flirting from now on."

Emma: "... So, I'm your lover, is that it?"

Gilbert: "Well..."

(Actually... there's something I've been meaning to give you when you get back.)

I put my hand behind my back and pulled out a bouquet of roses that I had hidden in a blind spot—

Gilbert: "My feelings."

Emma: "Gilbert's..."

When I was a child, I once saw a man and woman proposing to each other by handing them a bouquet of roses in the streets of Rhodolite.

I later learned from a friend that it was a common method of confession in the Land of Roses.

(I heard that rose originally had a meaning like "love"...)

What I insisted on were not red, yellow, or white, but black roses.

Gilbert: "You are mine."

Emma: "…!"

Gilbert: "That's what it means."

(And I was also told that it is the color of "undying love.")

In fact, it would have been more like a confession if I had told her that one,

But I thought it would not suit a villain, so I tucked it away in my heart.

Gilbert: "I like and hate beautiful things."

Gilbert: "I have to worry about it getting dirty."

Gilbert: "Then it would be better if I were to dye you black from the very beginning."

Emma: "… It's already pitch black, myself."

Emma: "It's so black, I can't even face Rhodolite."

Gilbert: "But you're still beautiful."

(Wearing a black dress, receiving a black rose, and loving a villain in pitch black…) // (Although she is wearing a black dress, being offered a black rose, and loving a villain who is supposed to be pitch-black…)

She herself says that she was "dyed black", so I did not dare to deny it, but even if she was dyed black, she was still pure white.

Gilbert: "You... are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

(It is dirty and smudges, but does not stain.) // (You can get dirty, but you can't get stained.) **

(I did a lot of mean things, and you didn't change a thing.)

(You didn't betray me.)

Gilbert: "That's why I wanted you."

Gilbert: "No matter how much you want to get dirty, you are the one who never gets dirty."

With the sun behind me, I lift the corners of my mouth.

Gilbert: "It doesn't matter if you like me or hate me."

Gilbert: "A villain tramples over and dominates what he likes and makes it his own. …I won't let you escape, okay?"

It's a terribly selfish statement, but the little rabbit smiles happily.

(Really, you're losing your mind...) // (I'm really out of my mind...)

I kiss the little rabbit, who accepts the black rose just to touch it.

Emma: "Gilbert…"

I was in a good mood and kept pecking her, and then she called my name.

Emma: "What do you think is the essence of a person?"

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "But you know what I think? No matter how beautiful your heart is, the essence of a person is "false love"." // "But I think, no matter how beautiful the heart is, the essence of a person is false love."

Gilbert: "Piling up ugly lies and acting as if there is love. When, in fact, there is no such thing."

Gilbert: "Even your beautiful heart is only a trick."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(Well...)

Gilbert: "... All the ones I've loved are dead."

Gilbert: "They told me they loved me, and then they died."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "I have nothing but hatred for those with beautiful hearts who think of others. I still doubt you."

Gilbert: "Where's the love in that act of leaving me alone with a terrible lie?"

(Even though, of course, the rotten ones have no love...)

(... Even the two people who betrayed me for me didn't want to admit that it was love.)

Love for me is a being that does not give me "loneliness."

Gilbert: "But…"

A bouquet of black roses with the love I've kept away from her, poking them with my fingertips.

Gilbert: "… I wish it was love."

Gilbert: "Only you..."

Gilbert: "I'm going to try to love you again."

(If you betray me, I'll never trust anyone again, but...)

(I hope that Little Bunny... Emma is the true "essence of a person".)

(I...)

(I don't ever want to be lonely again.) // (I never want to feel lonely again.)

Emma: "Please love me a lot."

Gilbert: "… You too?"

Each time our lips meet again and again, heat reaches every corner of my normally cold body.

The face I peeked into between kisses was reddish-colored and damp...

It exudes the same earnest love that I saw in the dance hall.

(Don't you know? It's been a long time since I've been swayed by you.)

The more we kissed, the more I felt like I was being trampled over—

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

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persephonememes · 1 year ago

Text

* ( THE HAUNTING OF BLY MANOR / SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i was just really, really sad. ❜

❛ dead doesn’t mean gone. ❜

❛ i thought i was going to die too. ❜

❛ it only felt like dying because, actually, i was still alive. ❜

❛ to truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them. ❜

❛ we can’t count on the past. ❜

❛ we think we have it trapped in our memories, but memories fade. ❜

❛ you’ll find it much quieter out here. ❜

❛ any of us could die at any moment. ❜

❛ she/he was my anchor. ❜

❛ i’m a lot braver than people think. ❜

❛ nothing holds, and all things change, given time. ❜

❛ change does not often announce itself. ❜

❛ all things fade. ❜

❛ time takes all things. ❜

❛ it is the way of the world. ❜

❛ the past recedes, memories fade, and so, true, does the spirit. ❜

❛ everything yields to time, even the soul. ❜

❛ there’s a difference between feeling good and feeling alive. ❜

❛ funerals are for the living. it’s up to the living to decide what they can and cannot bear. ❜

❛ i don’t know why brilliant young women are always punished. ❜

❛ you don’t have to lose yourself to find happiness, you know. ❜

❛ i was having the strangest dream. ❜

❛ what have you got when your back’s against the wall when there’s nothing left for you but faith? ❜

❛ sometimes, right can seem wrong, and wrong can seem right. ❜

❛ do you know what life is really all about? ❜

❛ save them all if you can, but put your own oxygen mask on first. ❜

❛ death is something to mourn, not fear. ❜

❛ i wasn't going to ask you if you're alright because i don't like being lied to. so, what's wrong? ❜

❛ everyone is exhaustive. even the best ones. ❜

❛ we are meant to die. it's natural. ❜

❛ every living thing grows out of every dying thing. ❜

❛ that's where all it's beauty lies, you know, in the mortality of the thing. ❜

❛ one day at a time is what we've got. ❜

❛ one day at a time is what we've got. it's what everybody's got, if you get down to it. ❜

❛ if you can't feel anything, then i'll feel everything for the both of us. ❜

❛ but no one is going anywhere, okay? ❜

❛ you shouldn't be thinking of losing each-other at all. ❜

❛ don't let that loom over your happiness right now. ❜

❛ it is rare what you've got. ❜

❛ what is the catch? ❜

❛ i’m not running, from anything and it hurts me when you say that. ❜

❛ perfectly splendid. ❜

❛ you have to promise me that you’ll stay in your room. ❜

❛ none of us are blameless. ❜

❛ on a scale of zero to american, how would you rate her? ❜

❛ it’s such a draining thing, dealing with children. ❜

❛ i have an inquiring mind. ❜

❛ we both know you don’t make mistakes. ❜

❛ let me guess, you are to be our very own mary poppins? ❜

❛ i hope she haunts that fucker forever. ❜

❛ why should anyone hate a lake? ❜

❛ let me show you just how beautiful you are. ❜

❛ it’s just you and me then. ❜

❛ look at you all flush. you’re pretty when you blush. ❜

❛ being with him might be scary at times but, it’s also exciting and fun. ❜

❛ and for the first time in my life, that little voice in my head saying i’m not good enough has disappeared. ❜

❛ i’ve never felt so alive. ❜

❛ i swear, you’re such a bore, and you don’t know when the leave well enough alone. ❜

❛ sometimes people just need to be alone. ❜

❛ i couldn’t sleep. i feel like i can never sleep again, frankly. ❜

❛ haven’t we done this already? ❜

❛ i have a surprise for you. ❜

❛ don’t leave your room at night. ❜

❛ the past is always present. ❜

❛ the stories we tell each other have a way of changing. ❜

❛ love is a haunting melody that i have never mastered and i fear i never will. ❜

❛ no good ever comes from dwelling on the worst. ❜

❛ you can’t choose who you love. ❜

❛ ghosts do not have to be scary. they can be comforting. ❜

❛ the heart is a fragile thing, and it can break in many different ways. ❜

❛ people often fear what they cannot understand. ❜

❛ we are all haunted in some way, by the things we have lost or the things we have done. ❜

❛ death is not the end, it’s just a door we all have to go through. ❜

❛ the past cannot be changed, but it can still hurt us. ❜

❛ the things we bury have a way of finding their way back to the surface. ❜

❛ some people are born to be alone, and others are born to be together. ❜

❛ ghosts are memories, and memories are what make us who we are. ❜

❛ the dead don’t really leave us. they live on in the memories we have of them. ❜

❛ the more we try to run from something, the more it chases us. ❜

❛ we all have a shadow self, the part of us that we don’t like to admit exists. ❜

❛ the world is full of secrets, and some are best left buried. ❜

❛ the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes that can be a terrifying thing. ❜

❛ every relationship is a dance, and both people need to be willing to take a step forward. ❜

❛ life can be cruel, but it can also be beautiful. ❜

❛ we are all just playing a part, but some roles are harder to shake off than others. ❜

❛ the past is written, but the future is still unwritten. ❜

❛ the greatest tragedy in life is not death, but the things we leave unsaid. ❜

❛ i do not like this game. ❜

❛ i'm actually pretty in love with you. ❜

❛ no one should ever need that much help. ❜

❛ you let me handle this part. ❜

❛ the wrong kind of love can fuck you up, follow you and make you do some really stupid shit. ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #meme #memes #roleplay meme #ask memes

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