#i don't know how many times we have to say this

[genderqueerdykes]

just kind of throwing this at your wall, sorry in advance. saw the post about "kill all men" and got really upset

im a trans guy. my boyfriend is cis, and im the first guy hes dated before. (sees me fully as whatever i want to be, does not care about my gender expression and loves me for me. great guy). he doesnt have many friends from being asocial as a teenager, so most of his friends are my trans friends!

of course. like every trans group seems to fall prey to, theres always the "all [CIS] men are bad" conversation that comes up somehow. and i never really thought much of it, because in my head itd be "ah yeah all men Except My Boyfriend"

but he and i were talking after some drinks, and he made a point that really struck me. about how he doesn't like being The Exception to the point, that he's still a man and has no interest in being anything But a man. so when people say stuff like that, he gets uncomfortable; not because He IS The Problem (like everyone who gives the "if youre saying not all men, youre the men" argument) but because it makes him feel ostracized from everyone. and idk, it really struck me.

we say stuff like that way too often in an attempt to exclude certain groups of people; and i feel like we end up excluding people close to us by proxy.

thanks for listening

i really appreciate you for taking the time to send this. i've been meaning to talk about this and have been forgetting. the following is of course not directed at you, anon, it is directed at people who behave like this

you're not feminist, progressive, cool, pro-queer rights or funny for saying "kill all men". you are exposing that you are a violent and dangerous person for believing that people should be profiled and literally killed for their gender or PERCEIVED gender.

this doesn't make people like you more. it outs you as a danger. how do we know you won't turn that hatred toward women whenever you feel like changing the goalposts? i can't trust someone like that to not turn that hatred toward other genders, either. YOU are the dangerous person you are profiling men as. you can't use men as a scapegoat for everything. sometimes YOU are the violent person who needs help.

your boyfriend shouldn't have to feel like that. like people have never really cared about gay men but people just straight up gave up all pretenses that they do and i hate it. cis men are not inherently evil. cis men can still be queer. cis men can still be good people. your boyfriend shouldn't have to feel isolated because he's cis. that's profiling. he belongs. why do people assume that everyone with a partner who is a man hates them? not everyone is choosing to be in a relationship with someone they hate. i understand that some people will date someone no matter who just to have a partner so they're not lonely, but not everyone does this. some people genuinely love their boyfriends

i'm sorry you both have dealt with this. i hope things can improve because men don't deserve to feel like this. this is why toxic masculinity exists in the first place. we have to stop reinforcing that men are evil monsters. they won't stop believing that if we keep telling them that forever. stay safe. your boyfriend is not a bad person & deserves to have a wonderful life.

[edisacornball]

I'm a writer on ao3 with a 208k beast of a story that has *checks notes* 663 kudos on it, so a little bit more than the kudos of the example, but still... I can't say enough how much I do not want this. I think it's a more popular concept among readers than it is writers.

I honestly hate how much the site culture is already ruled by kudos. People sort first by the number of kudos. They ignore fics because they don't have enough kudos. And trying to make sure you get enough kudos to not get ignored is... already exhausting. It's a whole thing of making sure to post at the right time so it'll get seen, and then the next 24 hours basically determine how successful the fic is going to be based on the kudos it gets. There's people gaming the system and doing all kinds of tricks already. It's the most social media part of something that very much should not be social media.

I don't write fics because I want to try and get as many likes - I mean, kudos - as I can. I don't want to care about kudos, but I have to. And I really worry that if people could leave extra kudos, it would mean getting even less comments than I do already. Less views. More gaming of the system. The stats would go wack, you realize. People would have that one friend who spent a whole day clicking to give them 500 kudos. Which is sweet, but then other people would feel like they need to do the same for their fic to stand a chance. Some people wouldn't be able to do that anyway. The site would be overrun with kudos overnight. The kudos economy would have massive inflation. The site could end up crashing like a ddos attack just from the kudos flood.

Ask any author on ao3, and it's pretty much unanimous that while we still love getting kudos, we pretty much always love comments more. Authors don't get notified when you leave kudos. You know what they get a notification for? A little comment that just says "extra kudos!!! ♥" You don't have to say anything else! I promise, the writers like that!

It's really sweet you want to show writers more love, honestly. But it's a bad idea that would have a lot of consequences. There's a reason you can't leave extra likes on Facebook, Instagram, or even Tumblr. We don't need extra kudos. Please.

i wish ao3 allowed people to give kudos per each chapter. These 100k word NOVELS need more love than 200 tiny digital hearts ☹️

[innuendostudios]

this is the final Alt-Right Playbook. it's called The South Bank of the Rubicon.

thank you for watching this series the last eight years. I'm not going anywhere, but I'll be turning my attention to topics other than conservative rhetorical strategies; going forward, I don't see our battles being fought with rhetoric.

support my work on Patreon and/or subscribe to me on Nebula. transcript below the cut.

---

The Rubicon is a river in Italy. The story goes that, at the end of the governorship of Julius Caesar, he was ordered to disband his army and stay north of the Rubicon. When, instead, Caesar marched his army across the river and towards Rome, it was considered an act of treason, and the beginning of the Roman Civil War, at the end of which Caesar would reign victorious. It is said, as he forded the Rubicon, Caesar declared, “The die is cast.”

In today’s vernacular, we refer to a metaphoric Rubicon as the point of no return. Children “cross the Rubicon” into adulthood, isolationist governments “cross the Rubicon” into international politics. Each of us will cast the die several times in our own lives. But we say also that movements, that people, cross the Rubicon when they become irredeemable.

When times are bad, we wonder anxiously how far from the Rubicon we are. When does an insurgency become a war, a demonstration a riot? When is the moment an economy in danger becomes one in collapse? We scan the horizon for the riverbank, hoping we didn’t cross it some ways back.

The thing about points of no return, the reason we worry over them so much, is it’s rare to know where they are until they are some ways behind you. The Rubicon is not the Mississippi; it is a muddy little creek history lost track of for centuries.

In the United States, we are increasingly comfortable saying that our democracy is “under threat.” That we are “at risk” of descending into authoritarianism. Few are ready to say that the threat has arrived. And I’m referring to myself as I say that: I’m not ready to say it’s arrived. No one wants to call it prematurely. The Right screams that “the Left” - Black Lives Matter or Antifa or some thinly-veiled caricature of The Jews - are ready to kick down your door and bash your teeth in. And I talk about why they say this, their need to exaggerate the threat from the Left, so that, when they aggress against us, it seems like self-defense. So that we are to blame for any violence we suffer. I talk about the danger of this thinking being accepted. I say the way mainstream conservative politicians and media legitimize these arguments is “worrying.” But I don’t say “they are saying this in preparation to kick down your door and bash in your teeth.” I want people to listen to me. I don’t want to sound irrational, and I don’t want to sound like them. And… I don’t want it to be true yet.

Say, for the sake of argument, you are, at this moment, ankle-deep in the water, desperately wondering how many paces you are from The South Bank of the Rubicon.

There was a time when any number of things would have been the moment. If you could go back to 2015 and ask, “Is a candidate promising to jail his political opponents, or a president building concentration camps at the border, or a lame duck provoking an insurrection to overturn a vote, the moment where you would unequivocally call him a fascist?” And we would have said, “No question.” But those moments came, and they went, and we called them troubling, we called them dangerous, but it still seemed alarmist to call them fascist. Journalists and policy wonks still reacted with surprise if you came anywhere near the word. You could still run a campaign on “reasoning with the Right.” Republicans have made great strides by being so blatantly horrible that accurately describing their behavior sounds like hyperbole.

It seems we are always approaching the other side of the Rubicon, never arriving. We can turn back. The north is still the nearer bank.

There is a knack to this. Everyone expects it to happen all at once. That one day we will wake up to swastikas and kids in cages and unmarked vans disappearing people off the street. But those all happened on different days. And the swastikas were a natural extension of the barely-coded language of the Administration’s supporters, the cages were the next step after their family separation policy, and the vans were not a surprise after years of police militarization. You don’t have to cross the river quickly, just steadily. So that every step makes the last one seem inevitable and the next one obvious. The people who say “this will never happen on our watch,” they will divert the river south to make it true.

It’s losing a little ground on a dozen fronts every day. It’s seeing so many lines crossed you can’t even remember where you used to draw them. It’s the readiness to give up on things being better and just wanting them to be quiet.

I can’t tell you if that moment has come. I don’t know how to call it any better than you. So, instead, I’m going to ask you to do something: I want you to decide, at this moment, what the Rubicon is for you. What is that undeniable instant where, if something drastic does not happen immediately, your rights and freedoms are forfeit. And don’t show up in my comments saying it happened years or centuries ago - you’re not wrong, but cynicism is acceptance. I’m asking when would be the time to act. Write it down. Put it on your phone or your dry erase board or a post-it on your bathroom mirror. So when that moment comes you will remember that this was your Rubicon, because it won’t feel like it anymore. It will feel like the next logical step.

And ask yourself, when that moment comes, what is the right thing to do? You don’t have to have an answer yet. But think on it. Cuz we haven’t been doing it.

As a leftist, the futures I envision are full of possibility. I am fond of saying “there are a hundred ways forward and only one way back.” So many things we could try if we allow ourselves to let go of white supremacy, of capitalism, of patriarchy. Imagining the future is a kind of world-building. To be on the Left, at least the way I try to do it, is to desire a spreading out, a pluralizing, an abandonment of hierarchy and a sharing of power between us all. I don’t know if that future is likely, but I know it’s possible.

That’s not how things look on the Right. For the Right, left to its own devices?

All roads lead to Rome.

[lessi-lover]

before we broke (1) II p.bueckers x reader

you thought that everything with paige had been left behind, you never wanted to open that chapter of your life again. turns out life has other plans for you.

before we broke II p.bueckers x reader 5.4k

"you've been avoiding this conversation long enough, darling." you sigh at the sharpness of your mum's voice as she tries to push you into talking. "i'm your mother. i can read you better than you think." she teases, thanking the waiter as she offers her a glass of water.

"mum it's nothing. it's just-." you stop yourself again because the truth sounds more like an excuse than you were thinking it would. your mum gives you a look, one that says there's no backing away from this as much as you try to close it down.

"it's just not as simple as you think it is." you don't look up from your coffee, absently tapping the mug with your fingers. you hear her sigh absently at your words, her hand wrapping around your wrist. "nothing ever is." she replies gently, her voice comforting but you know her well enough to know she's trying to coax you into making a decision. "but you can't keep pretending like it's not there."

you bite your lip, fighting the urge to spill everything, the weight you were carrying pressing against your chest. it's hard to say it aloud, even harder when you know your mum will see through every word, because she knows you.

"i don't want to disappoint you," you mutter under your breath, barely loud enough for her to hear. but somehow she does. "darling, you couldn't disappoint me if you tried," she says, her hand falling to gently clasp with yours. "i just want to help you, but you have to let me in first."

"i know you're not excited but you should be, darling." your mum says, like she’s expecting you to open up and tell her everything your feeling. she leans across the table, picking up the brochure for your new college. "uconn, honey. it’s a huge opportunity for you. you'll be surrounded by people just as passionate as you, and you’ll be closer to some of the best professors in the country."

"i know, mum." you've heard all this before, the list of reasons why a transfer would be the best option for you right now, but none of it could make it any easier to leave and go to the place that makes your insides crumble.

"it's far from home. but you're going to take care of yourself and not burn yourself out like last time. right, honey?" you chuckle at the concern in your mum's voice that never failed to make you laugh at how the woman could be so overbearing over her last child.

"you're telling me this isn't what you wanted? we talked about this months ago, if your college didn't offer the practical we would set up a transfer for you, honey."

you don’t want to admit that there’s something more to this than just the transfer. it’s not about the college or the course It’s the fact that uconn is still uconn and it’s been five years. five years since you told yourself you were done with it.

you could maybe just convince yourself that there was still slimmest chance of you not making contact with the blonde at all, perhaps you would run your luck round and she would be too busy being the face of women's basketball to wander around the campus.

but you knew eventually the two of you would run into each other and the dread of seeing her face again made your stomach drop more than you'd care to admit. you didn't want to speak to her after so many years apart, the fact that you two had lost each other was for the better and a testament to how hard you'd tried to cut her out of your life.

"mum i really don't want to talk about it." she leans in a little closer to you, the corners of her mouth lifting. “oh, come on. you’re acting like this transfer is a bigger deal than it is. something’s got you all wound up. is it the move? or is it…”

she trails off, and you know exactly where she’s going with this. your stomach tightens and you press your lips together, fighting the urge to snap. “mum, please don’t.”

her voice softens, but there's still an edge and she knows exactly how to crack your resolve. “is it paige? sweetheart, i haven’t heard you mention her in years. you used to be inseparable and then things just changed between you.”

you feel the sting of her name in the air, the same one you’ve cried over time and time again. your breath hitches and for a split second your walls seem to falter. but you quickly paint them back into place, determined not to let your mum see how much her name still hurts you.

“mum, please.” you say it more firmly this time, voice low but cutting through away any space left for your mum to keep asking questions you couldn't answer. “i said i don’t want to talk about it. i need to make this choice on my own.”

~

"tiny?"

you heard a familiar voice behind you, your heart skipping a beat because you knew exactly who that voice belonged to. you slowly spun around and there she was. azzi, standing there with a surprised look, the same toothy smile she had all those years ago back in minnesota.

"didn't expect to see me?" she teased, the familiar pull of arms bringing you in, and for a moment, everything felt too familiar, like you'd never left behind the people you once knew like the back of your hand. the force of her hold knocked the air out of your lungs, the girl had clearly grown since the last time you saw her.

“you’re... you’ve changed,” you smiled, a small attempt at pretending you weren’t caught off guard by how different she was, how much everything had changed since the last time you'd seen each other.

she smiled, a flicker of sadness in her eyes as she looked you up and down. "guess so," she said lightly, her voice carrying a tone that told you she wasn't the only one that was hurt from the aftermath of everything. "it’s been a while, huh?"

"you really kept up with your studies didn't you?" azzi raised an eyebrow, clearly referencing to how as a teenager you were the most avid studier and had been insanely gifted in school. "i’m living on campus now, i got signed after i finished my contract at st johns."

"wow, seriously az?" you blinked in surprise at the brunette, trying to mask your shock because you knew a part of you felt guilty for not reaching out to azzi over the years. you hadn’t known. you hadn’t even thought to check in with azzi about where her career had gone, but you were grateful she wasn't as bitter about it as you thought she might.

"yeah, didn’t think i’d ever be here either." she admitted, her body shifting slightly in its place as if she was thinking about something you couldn’t quite decipher. "but life’s funny that way." you nodded back at azzi, thinking about how you also never planned to move so far from home. "yeah, it sure is."

you didn’t want to admit there was more to it. you didn’t want to admit that there was a part of you that had missed azzi, missed the simplicity of what was supposed to be a lifelong friendship, before everything had become complicated. but that part of you was buried deep. it had to be. after everything you couldn’t afford to let it come to the surface.

you told yourself there was no chance of crossing your old path, that the odds were slim. after all, azzi had her life, her career to focus on. basketball was her world, and you were just a road of her path. maybe if you stayed in your lane, kept to yourself bar azzi, there’d be no reason to run into her. no reason to confront the past.

but no matter how much you tried to avoid it, you and azzi both knew the truth. you and the blonde would cross paths eventually. and when it happened, you had no idea how you’d react, but you knew it would hurt. the dread of seeing her again, of having to speak to her after what she did, had settled deep in you, and no matter how hard you tried to push it away, it stayed.

“wait, so why are you here at uconn? i thought you were still back in minnesota?” she said, her voice tinged with confusion that you had been expecting. “what happened?”

you sighed, fiddling with the strap of your bag. “the practical part of my degree wasn’t available back home.” you explained, glancing up at her. “so, i had to transfer to finish it here.” “your degree?” azzi asked, her eyes shifting to the couple books under your arm. “what are you studying, then?”

“i'm doing a major in sociology,” you said, shrugging. “it’s all about understanding societies, human behaviours, and social issues. but it’s just a lot of research and case studies. especially in the final year so i've been told.”

azzi nodded slowly, looking impressed. "sounds pretty intense. i’m doing communications, so it’s a lot of writing and media stuff. i can’t even imagine doing any of that data and theory work."

you chuckled, relieved that the conversation was light. "yeah, it's tough sometimes. trying to make sense and apply it to real-life situations." you frowned as she laughed and rolled her eyes. "that along with basketball i couldn't handle."

"you should come over," azzi suggested as she turned towards the student building. "we can study, grab some food, just hang out. it’ll be fun." you hesitated as she looked at you, the thought of spending time with her again made your stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. "yeah, maybe," you muttered, trying to keep the edge from your voice. "but... i don’t know. i have a lot of stuff to catch up on."

"come on!" azzi pressed, nudging you gently. "we’ll get through the work together. it'll be fine." you knew it was pointless to argue with the girl, and the way she looked at you with the same expression from when she was your best friend, made it harder to say no. "alright, fine. i’ll come by i need to head over there anyway."

azzi had been your best friend for longer than you could remember. it was her with the chunky shoes and bright blue backpack that had taken you under her wing on the first day of school. she always claimed your worried nature had drawn her to you in the first place, it's hard to believe somebody as uptight and focused as you were could be such good friends with such a carefree and friendly person like azzi.

but it worked. azzi had introduced you to all her friends and before you knew you were telling your parents you would be home by 5 for dinner because the lot of you were going to play at your local courts. her friends never minded azzi bringing you, in fact many of them were disappointed whenever azzi would leave you behind because you had homework to do.

the brunette had been your ride or die. so it hurt to lose such an important person in your life. the first few months you had to stop yourself from making contact because you knew it would just make things worse. but you guessed that all roads lead back to each other and well you and azzi luckily had as well.

everything would be fine. nothing would go wrong.

until you walked through the door.

your stomach dropped as finally azzi opened her dorm and you walked inside, a tall blonde leaning on her kitchen counter thankfully in conversation with another girl you didn't recognise.

it gave you a moment to finally take her in.

gone was the heap of blonde hair who used to sit on your bedroom floor whilst you'd untangle it for hours and pretend to massage your fingers after throwing basketballs at your head, who'd laugh with you until you couldn't breathe.

in front of you was still paige though. your paige.

you knew that paige had always been fond of fashion when you were growing up, she'd clearly stuck with this fondness as you looked over her. you'd been the person she would sit up in bed with and talk to for hours about everything and anything.

gone was the tall, willowy teenager that she once was; now she stood taller, her muscles defined even through the thick fabric of her jumper. her arms were more defined, probably credited to the hours you guessed she spent training.

you couldn't help but let your eyes roam over her form as she leant against the counter. there was a new edge to her, her smile although still familiar to you, it lacked the feelings it once brought you.

paige had always been physically stronger than you. she could easily overpower you during your childhood pinning you to the floor with a grin that always told her intentions. you were forever teased by her for your slightly less builted frame, the blonde had won quite the count of 'fights' that she never failed to remind you off.

she had bettered you in strength for all of your life, you never minded though because playing as many sports as paige did was never really quite your thing. you had always preferred to lie on her bed, waiting for her practice to end before she would come home to you again.

of course, over the years, you’d both had your moments. growing up together, it was only natural that you shared quite a few. but the biggest moment of all was realising that your feelings for each other weren’t the kind you had for just any best friend. it was different, ike the way your friends talked about liking boys, except it wasn’t boys. it was paige.

those feelings, as confusing as they were at first, slowly turned into something deeper. without warning, the two of you had become each other's first everything; the first kiss, the first time you truly understood what it meant to have a special someone. but that was a secret, one you shared only between the two of you, one that never seemed to get out because it lived in every moment instead.

you and paige had never let it out to either of your families. you weren't afraid. just comfortable. to comfortable in the feelings of just being each others person, nobody needed to share that with you because it was yours for the keeping.

swallowing the feelings that washed over you, you screamed at your body to move, urging them to move further into azzi's apartment instead of the frozen position you were currently stuck in. a sharp inhale from the blonde forced you to close the distance between the two of you.

azzi's eyes flickered to you, her gaze lingering on you as if she was weighing the situation, wondering who would speak first. she clearly hadn’t expected paige to be here, and paige well, paige clearly hadn’t expected you to walk in either.

the girl paige had been talking to clearly noticed the tension and decided to leave, quickly packing up her things before heading to the door with a confused glace to the brunette beside you.

paige’s eyes met yours and for a split second, time seemed to pause. the years apart washed away. all the things left unsaid and said hung between you and yet, neither of you tried to move. it was as if the weight of everything came crashing down and neither of you knew how to escape it's claws.

paige snuck a glance at you, stopping herself from gasping as her breath got caught in her throat. much like herself, you had also changed over the years apart.

gone was the shorter, smiling kid that she used to force to practice 3's in the garden and was always tucked into a new book, instead replaced by a confident, composed woman. but you looked at her like there was no history between you, paige felt her heart pang as you looked at her so blankly.

paige moved towards you with a smile, but azzi quickly cut her off by bringing her into a hug. you watched as the brunette whispered something in the blonde's ear that she nodded at in response. "hey." you waved softly and paige could feel herself almost cry at how much she had missed your voice.

"hi." the basketballer responded, her tone wary but she maintained a somewhat confident smile, the two of you staring at each other for a moment before you both pulled your eyes away. you both hesitated to what would be the most appropriate greeting, the two of you stumbling towards each other before azzi stepped in.

paige glanced at azzi, leaving just enough space for you to face each other fully. you shifted on your feet, your hands fidgeting by your sides, while paige seemed rooted to the spot, her blue eyes darting across your face like she was trying to memorise every detail.

"so," paige began, her voice cracking slightly as she cleared her throat. "i didn’t expect .. this." she gestured vaguely between the two of you, her nervous energy palpable as she played with the strings of her jumper. "yeah, me neither," you admitted, your lips twitching in what was supposed to be a smile but felt more like a grimace.

it was azzi who finally broke the silence again, stepping back into the conversation with a casual air that felt just a bit forced. "well, it’s been a long day, and i’m starving. how about we eat before the awkwardness actually suffocates us all?"

you chuckled softly at her attempt to lighten the mood, but your smile didn't reach your eyes, they flickered back to paige, who gave you a small smile that didn’t mask how clouded her head was. "good idea," you replied, latching onto azzi’s suggestion like it was a lifeline.

"let me guess, azzi dragged you in here kicking and screaming?" paige teased lightly, a faint smirk tugging at her lips as she leaned back in her chair, her posture relaxed but her eyes still as sharp as ever. "something like that," you replied with a small laugh, glancing over at azzi, who grinned knowingly. "she can be very persuasive when she wants to be."

"so," azzi interjected, leaning back in her chair with an almost smug look, her drink resting loosely in her hand, "this is... cosy." you shot her a warning look, but azzi’s grin only widened as she raised her eyebrows at paige. "you two catching up on old times, huh?"

paige shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable but trying to play it off with a tight-lipped smile. "something like that." she mumbled as she looked down at the floor. "yeah, definitely a lot to catch up on," you muttered under your breath, your fingers nervously tracing the rim of the drink azzi had offered you.

"oh, i’m sure," azzi teased, her tone innocent but her knowing smirk doing nothing to hide the fact she was thoroughly enjoying this. "must be nice to finally see each other after... how many years has it been now?"

"azzi," you warned, your voice low, but she just shrugged it off like always. "what? i’m just making conversation," azzi said with an innocent smile, though the mischievous glint in her eye gave her away. "it’s been a while," paige answered, her voice firm as she finally looked at azzi, her jaw tightening slightly. "but yeah, it’s good to see you."

you felt paige’s gaze shift onto you, the weight of her stare almost too much to handle as your heart thudded in your chest at the familiarity of everything. "good to see you too," you murmured softly, your voice barely audible but enough for both of them to hear you.

as paige fiddled with the bracelet around her wrist, azzi’s eyes zeroed in on it. "wait, is that the bracelet you got after the state finals? the one drew gave you?" paige glanced down at it and nodded with a smile. "yeah, he'd been saving for months before that game."

"that game was insane," azzi said, leaning back in her chair with a grin. "you hit the buzzer beater, and the entire gym exploded. i thought the roof was gonna come down." paige chuckled at the memory as she twisted the bracelet between her fingers. "yeah, that was definitely a moment i’ll never forget."

"i didn’t just hear about it after the fact," you said quietly, your voice cutting through their conversation. paige and azzi both turned to look at you, paige’s brows furrowing. "what do you mean?"

you shifted in your seat, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you. "i was there," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "i was in the stands that night. i saw it happen." paige’s lips parted, a flicker of shock crossing her face. "you were there?"

"a group of my friends had one a few tickets from some trivia competition at our local bar, it was lucky it happend to be a final because i don't think they would've gotten me there otherwise." your cheeks flushed bright red as you tried to explain how you had ended up at her match despite never liking the sport as a kid.

"i wish i'd known you were there." paige admitted, feeling her eyes burn into you as you stiffened in your place. "you were so good, i didn't miss that." you replied, messing about with the band around your wrist as paige and azzi stood before you.

paige chuckled as she crossed her arms. “you? at a basketball game? now that’s something i'd pay to see.” she teased, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “last i checked, you couldn’t stand the sport. something about it being just people running in circles?”

you laughed, the sound nervous but genuine. “yeah, well, i stand by that, it’s still just running in circles. but… that night was different, it wasn’t about the game. it was… you.” you felt your face flush at the obvious pride of the blonde in your voice.

“i must’ve been pretty impressive to get you to sit through four quarters of it.” paige joked, throwing her head back as she laughed. “oh you have no idea. but seriously you were amazing that night, paige. the energy in that gym was unreal. and then you hit that shot, and it was like everything stopped for a second before it just exploded.”

despite that basketball was paige's one true love, the only reason you ever faked interest was to avoid upsetting her or making her feel like you weren’t being supportive of what she wanted to be. so, you let her sit you down time and time again to explain the rules, the fouls, the positions. all so you could cheer her on properly during her games, not that you ever understood anything. still, you never missed a single one.

that didn’t stop her from dragging you into the sport at every opportunity. her favourite was planting you in front of the basket, enlisting azzi's brothers to fire shots your way, laughing every time you flinched from the contact of the ball against the backboard.

you never lasted long before you’d sprint off, throwing your arms up in defeat when the blonde would tease you. but she’d always chase you down, grabbing your wrist and hauling you back, determined for you to make at least one three pointer. she’d promise to let you go afterwards, but you never did shoot that three pointer anyway.

"so i take it your growing love for basketball hasn't really changed then?"

~

paige couldn't help but notice the little changes in you. the way you seemed a bit more steady now, your posture less sunken, your eyes a little less hesitant when meeting hers. you weren’t the same shy girl who used to shrink into the background because that's all you wanted was to be invisible.

there was a maturity that you actually wanted to be noticed now, a relisation that she would have never expected. yet, as she watched you laugh at azzi’s latest comment, something familiar flickered. your laugh was the same, the same sound that the blonde would try her hardest to bring out.

your smile, too, hadn’t changed, the same curve of your lips that made it hard for anyone to stay mad at you, no matter how much you tried to hide it behind a veil of indifference.

you’d grown, that much was clear, but in some ways, you were still the same to her. and despite the time and distance between you, there was a comfort in knowing that the things she had loved about you hadn't changed. and for all the changes, paige realised some things never needed to.

paige could see the shift in you before you even spoke. the subtle way your eyes darted aimlessly away from the conversation, the way your smile faltered, just for a moment, like you were trying to hold yourself together. the room felt suddenly too tight, the noise too loud, the lingering feelings pressing down on you.

it had been fine at first, comfortable even. but now, surrounded by all the familiarity, memories began to flood in, too many and too fast. paige noticed the way your fingers twitched, your breathing slightly uneven. she knew you well enough to recognise the signs you were becoming overwhelmed.

without saying a word, you stood up abruptly, excusing yourself with a tight smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. paige opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it, watching as you made your way to the door.

you didn’t even glance back as you shut the door behind you, the slight smell of weed in the hallway hitting your face like a stone brick. you leaned against the wall, your chest rising and falling as you tried to steady yourself, the noise from inside azzi's apartment muffled by the distance. it was quieter out here. easier for you to breathe.

azzi watched you leave her dorm, she could see the concern in the blonde's eyes, the hesitance to go after you. without missing a beat, azzi leaned in slightly to paige.

“go,” she said softly, but with an air of certainty. paige’s eyes flickered up to meet hers, confusion littered in her features. “what?” paige asked, her voice quiet and unsure what azzi was insinuating.

“she’s not okay. go after her. she’ll need you.” there was no hesitation in azzi’s words, no second-guessing. she knew you well enough to understand that sometimes, a little space was needed, but not too much. paige needed to be there, not just to calm you down, but as someone who would understand you. she always had.

paige hesitated for a second longer, then nodded, a soft sigh escaping her lips. without another word, she pushed herself up and moved towards the door. paige was convinced she was the reason why you'd left in the first place so why would azzi think her coming to check on you would even really help at all?

she took a slow step closer to you. her presence was calming, never demanding, just there. her hand gently brushed against yours, a reassurance that you weren't alone. "hey," she said. her voice steady and confident, like it always had been when you were younger, she had always known exactly how to calm you down. "it's okay. breathe with me."

you glanced at her and for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed. your connection was still there, that understanding and you felt like she could read every thought racing through your mind. she took a slow breath, offering you to copy her and you followed her lead, inhaling until the tightness in your chest loosened and your breathing returned to it's normal pace.

paige gave you a small, encouraging smile, her thumb gently rubbing over the back of your hand, grounding you with the simple, familiar feeling of her skin on yours. "you remember how we used to do that when things got too much? just breathe and focus on me." she told you, reminding you of the countless times you’d done this when you were a teenager.

you closed your eyes for a second, your breath had evened out, and the chaos of thoughts ceased their efforts. you hadn’t realised how much you missed her, how much she always anchored you, until now.

"you’re okay," paige murmured, her voice calming the sea of emotions that had been building their charge over you, her eyes holding yours with that same control that used to be your safe place. "we can figure this out. but right now, just breathe. i'm not going anywhere. i'm staying right here."

paige didn’t rush to fill the silence that had overtaken. instead, she gave you the time you needed, letting you breathe and collect your thoughts. “i know we’ve both been… through a lot. but i think, maybe, we deserve the chance to figure this out. together.”

“thank you,” you whispered as paige tried to keep her reaction minimal, though her insides were screaming for her to try and salvage this. "for... not pushing. for giving me space to figure things out."

paige’s eyes softened as she gave a small nod, her hand briefly squeezing yours before she pulled away. "anytime," she replied quietly, a smile tugging at her lips. "i'm not going anywhere."

"maybe we can start with something simple." paige stumbled over her words, suddenly feeling all the nerves she’d been suppressing rise to the surface. "i was thinking... maybe we could grab a coffee sometime? just the two of us. to catch up properly." the request hung in the air between you both, her gaze full of uncertainty but also hope, because she was bracing herself for your rejection she feared was coming.

"paige..." you started, your voice tight as you took in her nervous energy. you could already tell by the way she’d shifted her stance and the way her eyes searched yours that she was preparing for the worst. you noticed the subtle way she’d distanced herself from you all evening, the way she’d never once leaned into you like she used to, and the space hurt more than you’d thought it would.

her voice cracked slightly, trying to salvage what was the broken parts of your relationship. "please. just give me time with you?" she reached out to you, but as her fingers hovered near yours, you instinctively pulled your hand back, not wanting to give her any false hope of something happening again. she noticed, and her hand dropped to her side in defeat.

"paige, i’m not sure..." you trailed off, the uncertainty in your voice betraying the thoughts circling in your head. she could hear the reluctance, but the way she held herself, so desperately told you all you needed to know.

"we were close once. you were everything to me. i want to know what’s been happening with you. really know. not just surface stuff because we have to." paige’s words felt like a blow to your chest, not because they were harsh, but because they were so painfully true.

paige used to be your everything. she was yours. the only person who understood you in a way no one else ever could. she could read you like a book, inside and out, you could never hide from her even if you tried. you had shared everything with her. she was the person who could mend you when you felt like the world was falling apart, the person who could piece you back together.

she had torn you apart though.

it hadn’t been easy, watching everything slip away after the distance between you two grew. the awkward silence when your family members asked what she had been up to that used to feel so comfortable became unbearable. the times when you would have done anything just to spend a second with her became just a memory you couldn’t quite forget.

you couldn’t look at her then, not with the honesty in her eyes, not with the way she seemed to still see right through you like always. it was the same as before, as if nothing had changed at all, despite everything that had happened in between.

"i’ve missed you. more than i can to admit." the words stumbled out before either of you could stop them, and you felt them hit you like a freight train. crashing into you at full speed as you tried to hold onto the rails. "come on, just one coffee. it’ll be like we’re picking up right where we left off, five years ago. just two people catching up. no big deal, right?"

there was a flicker of hope in her eyes, and despite the walls you’d spent so long building up, the sight of her made your heart ache. she was trying so hard to bridge the gap that seemed impossible, but the sincerity in her words made you want to say yes so badly.

you hesitated at her offer, still battling with yourself to forgive the blonde. "alright. one coffee." you whispered, the mountain of tension between you falling by your sides. but as the words left your lips, you couldn’t help but wonder what kind of mess you were getting yourself into.

~

[heebiegeebee]

I just don't understand why:

-the Irish president felt the ideal time to talk about Gaza was at the Holocaust Remembrance Day ceremony, especially after the local population of jews begged him not to attend in the first place.

-when someone talks about Elon's seig heil and how diaspora jews have been sounding the alarm for over a year now, some self-important fingerwagger has to kool-aid man themselves into the convo to talk about "thousands of dead palestinians" then doubles, no, TRIPLES DOWN that actually YOU brought up I/P even though in reality neither you nor anyone else did (amazing how they slink away in shame without ever truly learning anything, but we remember... oh, we remember.)

-when I see that once again, pro-pali protestors decide protesting anything remotely jewish/jew-adjacent ("adjewcent", as I sometimes say) is vastly more impactful than, say, oh, I dunno, protesting the white house? I mean, I think for "media complicity in genocide", you'd go to Twitter's HQ, or FOX, or MSNBC, or literally any other place than a fucking film festival in Utah -- and then I read an article where Trump says some shit about "clearing out Gaza", and it's like the warning bulb that had been illuminated this whole time knowing this was always around the corner, now started flashing -- oh no, that means when Trump inevitably attempts to enact this ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, non-jews in the US are NOT going to protest him; they're going to go after the easy targets like they have been for the last year and a half: RANDOM DIASPORA JEWS.

Foolishly, I attempted to share this thought process with husband, who IMMEDIATELY pivoted to talking instead about how Trump will harm so, so many Gazans, and I just fucking lost it.

For over a year now, every single attempt to talk about anything that specifically is impactful to the jewish people, no matter how much it is prefaced with care and concern for the palestinian population, is automatically dismissed as unimportant and insulting compared what the poor palestinians are going through... so you would think...

YOU WOULD THINK.

...SPECIFICALLY DISCUSSING HOW THE AMERICAN JEWISH DISAPORA WILL BE HARMED BY CHRISTOFASCIST RHETORIC AND LEFTIST APATHY AND VITRIOL WOULD WARRANT MR. BUND TO FINALLY GIVE A FUCKING SHIT! But no! It got to a point where I had to ask him, as he kept saying "I understand you're scared", "husband, if you're jewish too, why aren't you scared?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I feel like I'm losing my mind. We're always at arms length, always kept from even approaching the table.

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MOURN

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE THE SIGNS AND CALL THEM OUT

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE SCARED

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DEFINE OUR OWN OPPRESSION

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DEFINE OR KEEP SACRED OUR OWN WORDS

WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KVETCH TO OUR OWN KIND

WE ARE UNIVERSALISED AND HOLLOWED OUT

which means

we. are. not. people. to. these. people.

This all feels like some kind of sick form of "stop hitting yourself!" except it's repeatedly traumatizing a group of people and then blaming them or being offended for their being so traumatized.

[bunisunit]

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

Art of Eclipse (EAPS)

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

Both, but if I have to pick one over the other? Chocolate

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

Bun, Bnuy, Bunny, Bunbun, Sugarcube, babu, wife, Strawberry Shortcake... There are more but I can't think of them off the top of my head

🎵 Last song you listened to?

My Immortal by Evanescence, specifically the version on the Synthesis album

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

*Stares into the middle distance at my AO3 account that has over 100 fics across various fandoms* I like to write sometimes, sure-

😏 Are you on discord?

Yes, not dropping the @ tho UwU

💛 Do you have any piercings?

Yes! Multiple holes in my ears (need to get most of them redone since they healed over or were done incorrectly) as well as a nostril piercing that I currently have an Eclipse themed ring in

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

How they treat people in the customer service and hospitality industry

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Snickerdoodle

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

Cat

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

Earbuds if they have the jelly inserts, otherwise headphones

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

"Love you you gay" to my wife, whom I have been with for 9 years and married to for 3

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

You can, in fact, use a melon baller to scoop out a human eyeball without damaging it. Context: legit just wanted to know if a scene in American Horror Story Coven was accurate and fell down a short rabbit hole-

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Morning person by force, but in spirit a night owl (I work a lot of open shifts)

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

Grandmother in law's couch

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Gender fluid, pansexual, polyamorus

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

Mordin plus Caffeine

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

Sweatpants

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

Water cause I can't have anything there, plus I don't drink coffee ;w;

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

Shockingly... Yellow XD

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

My Mass Effect Andromeda jacket. It's comfy as hell and has thumb holes and has held up over the MANY years I have had it

☕ Coffee or tea?

Neither, but if we are talking smell? Tea

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

White footed rabbit rat

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

2015, but with various accounts. This is my only one now

🌴 Desert island item?

Solar powered phone with Spotify that has my fave music downloaded. I can figure out the other stuff, but I might go insane alone with my thoughts if I don't have music

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

Kawaii pastel, pastel goth, alternative, punk? It depends on the day, gender, and vibe

🔮 What’s your dream job?

Psychologist, full time twitch streamer

💙 Relationship status?

Married for 3 years to my wife and dating my boyfriend of over a year!

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

Sleeveless white turtleneck with an off the shoulder, zip up crop top that has long striped sleeves with black flare out pants, topped off with my black and white beanie that has two large Sun and Moon buttons and my black sneakers

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

My Immortal by Evanescence, Lacrymosa by Evanescence, Stand My Ground by Within Temptation, Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard, I Always Knew by Jem, and Gomenasai by TATU

🤎 What color is your hair?

Naturally, brown, but I have it blond and cherry red right now

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

Often and without a damn

💄 Do you wear makeup?

On occasion, I just do lip stuff or brow stuff tho

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

Being called Commander Shepard by someone when I was at work because of my N7 jacket. Idgaf I love it and it honestly made my day

💞 @ your favorite blog.

@brekwrites

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[gyaruhana]

Do you write for hyun ju? Cause i have this idea where she and reader are dating and in the mingle game, we saved young mi and took her place in dying hehehehehe thats all tyy

Hyun-Ju/Player 120 - Sacrifice

Synopsis: you sacrifice yourself to save Youngmi.

A/N: sad sad sad idea ughh

Warnings: angst..

From the moment you stepped foot in this hellhole, death had been looming over your shoulder.

If it were up to you, you would've left after the first game. Sure, money was an issue but you valued your life more than you valued money. Even if the sum was 45.6 billion won, you didn't want to risk your life so carelessly. Besides, there were 455 other people who you'd have to compete against. You didn't see the odds being in your favor.

Fortunately, you managed to make a nice group of friends who you grew to trust through each passing game. You grew closest with a trans woman by the name of Hyun-Ju. You were honestly surprised to make such a good friend here of all places but you were certainly glad you did. Hyun-Ju provided you with much needed comfort and your conversations always filled the quiet air after a particularly challenging game.

Strangely enough, you didn't feel as scared when she was close by. Even though you watched so many people die, you didn't fear you'd be next when she was around. You knew she'd keep you safe and you'd gladly return the favor.

That's how you're here now.

The game was mingle and it involved making groups based on the number called out before the timer runs out. Things had gotten a little messy as Youngmi had accidentally been knocked down while running behind them. Of course, Hyun-Ju realized this after stepping in the room when there was little time left on the clock.

She ran out to try grab Youngmi when someone else barged in, pushing her back and telling her there wasn't enough time. You looked at Hyun-Ju's distraught face as she tried to move past and get out to help Youngmi. It was a rather reckless desperation but Youngmi was important to her. A friend who she cared for.

You glanced toward the timer and read the clock. 6 seconds left.

Without another thought, you pushed past them and opened the door before grabbing Youngmi and helping her up. You didn't waste any time in pushing her in the room before closing the door behind her knowing that you couldn't stay when they already had enough people in the room. On que, the door locked and Hyun-Ju immediately went to it, banging on it desperately.

"What are you doing? Why would you do that?!" She yelled angrily as she looked at you. Hyun-Ju wanted nothing more than for this door to burst open. She would've pushed that guy out for you. She didn't want you to die - not like this. Not when you were one of the few people who actually showed her a shred of empathy and kindness.

"Hyun-Ju, it's fine. I'm fine," you say reassuringly. While you were scared that death would soon take you, you put on a brave face for her. Even as tears formed in both your eyes and hers. "I'm sorry," Hyun-Ju spoke and you quickly shake your head in disapproval. She had no reason to be sorry. This was your choice.

"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. This was my decision. My decision, okay?" you speak with a smile that didn't match the fear and worry in your eyes. "You're still going to win that money and go to Thailand, yeah? For me?" you speak and Hyun-Ju couldn't help but let out a choked sob at your words.

"..Yeah," she responded with a nod as she averted her gaze for a moment to compose herself. "Good," you say before the sound of footsteps comes closer to you. You turned around and were met face to face with a guard holding his gun to your face. The sight immediately made Hyun-Ju panic as she started banging on the door again and yelling again.

"No! No!" Hyun-Ju cried out but her cries were quickly cut off by the sound of a gunshot. Some of your blood splattered on her face leaving her in a stunned silence as she came to terms with what just happened. She closed her eyes and leaned against the door as she cried. She was upset and angry. You were supposed to live. Not die like this.

But it was too late now. You were dead, and you were never coming back.

[genderqueerdykes]

What i don't understand about people who are vehemently anti-endo is the fact that conditions like DID and plurality in general are extremely understudied.

How can someone say that "its impossible to be plural without xyz" when we barely even know anything about dissociative disorders, let alone plurality as a whole?

Asking you cause you seem smart and would understand where the other side is coming from at the very least + also seem like the least likely person to be mean about it

that's what i've been saying for a very long time, it makes no sense. I believe dissociative disorders are very well, but they're very poorly studied. and i do believe some of the things present in our current studies are heavily flawed or biased in nature because i don't agree with some of the more nitty gritty aspects when it comes to system structure and function.

i was diagnosed during an unrelated screening to apply for disability in 2017. i was relieved to finally have it acknowledged by a professional who knew what they were talking about. he knew a lot about plurality but we were still limited to what the DSM-V said and it's just a book. it only has so much info. it's not a bible. it's flawed. there's still outdated information in our medical reference boxes. research is constantly changing what we come to know about human health and psychology

How can someone say that "its impossible to be plural without xyz" when we barely even know anything about dissociative disorders, let alone plurality as a whole?

good question, thanks for asking! it is ignorance. people who say these sort of things generally refuse to interact with different plural oriented spaces and instead stay in their comfort zones and small bubbles. as a result, they don't learn anything about other types of plurals. they will refuse to because they have an attitude that tells them they are right about everything.

a lot of people virtue signal and try to look like they are a Good Plural or a Plural Ally by bulling plural people who don't have DID/OSDD. it's people trying to suck up to mean, rude plurals who think they know everything. a lot of people are doing this in various communities. it's pretty easy to spot once you've been there for long enough. it's very hollow. they don't back up what they're actually saying. they just say things to blend in and gain acceptance. they're not concerned about uncovering the truth about plurality, it is an attempt to find a place to call home

there are studies on non dissociative plurality, but they're under funded and poorly preserved and researched. medical studies do not occur unless there is money to fund them, and investors want guaranteed returns. they are not going to waste their time with something they think won't be profitable. this also isn't about exposing the truth about plurality. this is just an attempt to make money and nothing else. the medical industry is nothing but a cash generator

thanks for stopping by i appreciate it! plurality is varied. it's not a one size fits all experience. there are many ways to be plural

[melrosing]

why did martin made cersei evil from the beginning? tyrion and jaime are very fucked up but they still have some kindness and empathy in them. at age 7 she was torturing baby tyrion by pulling on his genitals and threatening the wet nurse her tongue would be cut out. she killed her friend at age 10. having all these negative traits baked in from the beginning makes her more flat for me. plus martin made her stupid and mockable. she has zero self awareness. she is dishonest with herself. even d&d had more respect for her. do you think cersei is a sociopath? i think martin doesn't like her. do you agree with me?

ok you pose several arguments here but I will try and reply as entirely as I can.

why did martin made cersei evil from the beginning?

I've questioned this choice sometimes but I don't think it was necessarily the wrong one?? the scene with baby Tyrion is to me a deeply disturbing but still very interesting one that says a lot about Cersei, her relationship with Tywin, and the greater part she's played in shaping her relationship with Tyrion.

here, she has obviously very quickly absorbed Tywin's 'the baby killed Joanna' narrative, and is punishing Tyrion in a manner that's like. both childish and horribly violent at once, like she doesn't fully understand how violence is usually applied (pinching is a really childish form of violence in my mind), but she knows how to make it hurt.

then there's also the fact that perhaps Tyrion now represents a rival to second place - her status over him is that she's able-bodied, but his over her is his sex. maybe Cersei has some vague understanding of this at seven, and that's another part of why she hurts Tyrion is this extremely particular way.

and also like. Tywin is ultimately a man of extreme violence, and Cersei has always been listening at the door trying to learn from him. it makes sense that she'd be trying to apply his teachings where she sees fit, and that this would result in disturbed behaviour like what she does to Tyrion. I think it's also interesting that we can distinguish this from what Joffrey does to the cat, for example. there's a kind of obliviousness to that act of violence in Joffrey's early childhood (making more the case for nature over nurture, though nurture plays its part). Cersei's childhood violence is a lot more intentional: it feels like she's trying to exercise power of her own, and that is very much fitting with adult Cersei's story.

however, I think Cersei herself identifies the Melara incident as something of an outlier in her childhood. I don't say this to suggest that Cersei was not a very violent child, but that she didn't do it out of pure evil. I think the key factor driving Cersei to do what she does to Melara is a fear for her own mortality - Melara points out that if noone talks of Maggy's prophecy, it needn't be true, and so Cersei kills the only other person who knows of it (besides Maggy). I do think spite towards Melara for yearning for Jaime factored insofar as this helps Cersei build just enough spite towards Melara that she's able to do what she does, but it is primarily an act of self-preservation, I think. I think many evil acts of Cersei's are self-preservation, though taken way past the line of what's justifiable to that end.

and ofc, Cersei as an adult feels some level of guilt about what she did to Melara. it does fuck with her a bit. I think the main reason is that Melara was a friend and confidante for a time, someone who she could have held close but instead cast out (same as how she briefly reflects on Sansa and how she might have done better by her). so..... again, it does come down to self-preservation in the end, but I don't think Cersei was a two-dimensional evil kid. you can find the sense in her reasoning, which is pretty absent in what Joffrey does to the cat.

tyrion and jaime are very fucked up but they still have some kindness and empathy in them.

i personally find the cersei/her brothers dichotomies kind of frustrating cos like. not every character needs the traits of empathy and kindness. Cersei is not the only character in ASOIAF who lacks these traits. Littlefinger, Euron, Roose, Ramsay, Tywin himself, etc, all lack these traits, and yet are not afforded anything close to complexity Cersei is. she is the only POV character among these villains. and whilst I do think that the whiplash between Cersei's occasionally-played-for-laughs foolishness and her sexual trauma is sometimes verging on ill-judged, fandom should take more accountability for the extent to which they relegate Cersei to dark comic relief. she was not written as this.

and as I've said before, whilst I do think it's notable that Cersei is our primary female villain yet written as often foolish and ridiculed as such, yet male villains comparably tend to be much savvier, it still makes sense that Cersei would lack these smarts: she wasn't taught them. still, sure, to some extent I agree that GRRM should not have played this for laughs so often.

returning again to Cersei lacking empathy etc - well, you have other characters who lack evil. Brienne hasn't really got a gram of darkness in her body, yet is enormously complex in other ways. then you've got characters like Asha, who have more of a balance of the two, and yet aren't even half as complex as Cersei (despite being a POV). GRRM has not refused Cersei complexity, and he has not written her, on his own part, without empathy. we see Cersei grieve, we see Cersei traumatised, we see Cersei frightened, we see Cersei humiliated. again, as I've said before, GRRM makes us hold Cersei's cruelty in the one hand, and Cersei's pain in the other, and reckon with both at once. neither excuses the other, as they might in a lesser story - like Game of Thrones!

and i'm not going to go deep into GOT right now, but I don't agree that d&d had more respect for Cersei as a character. d&d cannot conceive of Cersei as anything besides a mother. they reduce everything about her to motherhood, and when she runs out of children, they stick another one in her. they cannot imagine what might drive a character like Cersei beyond motherhood. it is essentially the final note of her story - 'I don't want our baby to die' etc. i don't think i need to say much more to explain that I think reducing a character like book Cersei to this, is deeply misogynistic. if you want to see that misogyny in action elsewhere, see how the finale ultimately frames a dichotomy between the childless Dany, a freak tyrant, and the pregnant mother Cersei, who the writers think we'll want to escape to Pentos to survive with her baby, and who we're supposed to weep for when she doesn't make it out. and now remember what happened like. one episode before with Missandei, the last black woman on this show. d&d couldn't respect a woman if their lives depended on it

do you think cersei is a sociopath?

GRRM says she has an 'almost sociopathic' view of the world, but obviously shies away from identifying her as such, and I think he's right to - these kinds of labels are far too prescriptive when what you're trying to write is a character in a book, not an article for a medical journal.

do you agree with me?

nah not really. ultimately I think whilst Cersei is written as unabashedly evil, this doesn't mean that that evil is two dimensional. she exists on the darkest end of the spectrum because I think that is the most interesting place for her to occupy - I don't believe Cersei's story would be improved with a redemption arc, or a couple of instances where she sneaks Sansa a sweet or w/e. grey characters are interesting, yeah, but they are not invariably more interesting than those in the darkest shades, and I don't think GRRM has done Cersei an injustice by not painting her lighter.

[spiderb00]

- What Is Your Word Of The Day?

Manon Bannerman x 7 member!reader  (request)

"The taste of victory is good, but don't celebrate too loudly” 

Genre – fluff          Warnings – none 

Now playing – Perfect Night, by Le Sserafim 

The night was calm, all the Kats were spread out comfortably in the living room. Sophia, Yoonchae and Megan were watching some movie on television, Lara and Daniela were gossiping about someone you didn't know very well, and Manon, your girlfriend, was listening to all the conversation of yours while stroking your hair. You all didn't have many days off, but when you did, you made it all worth it. The day off was a day with no stress, no complaints and no headache, you unfortunately, were going down a different path.

A few weeks ago, you discovered this word game called Daily Wordle, and you immediately became obsessed with it. You had X number of attempts and if you couldn't get them right, you would lose the game and could only play it again the next day. So, you were very concentrated at that moment, so concentrated, that you didn't even notice the strange looks that your friends and girlfriend were exchanging.

You were quiet for a long time, and that wasn't very normal for you, the girls always said that you and Daniela were the loudest, so when they didn't hear a word if it comes out of your mouth, they were definitely worried.

Exchanging silent glances, the girls debated whether or not to ask if there was something wrong. Your state of stillness was at least a little troubling, and Sophia, as the leader, began to really wonder if anything had upset you.

The girls looked at your girlfriend, silently asking if you were okay. Manon, who just shrugged, tried to look over your shoulder at what you were doing on your phone. When she was close to seeing what you saw so much on that phone, you jumped up off the couch.

"FUCK, YEAH!" You said, jumping up and down, making the girls startle and Sophia glare.

"Yn! Language!" Sophia said as she watched you jump for joy.

"I'm sorry, but I've finally settled the word of the day!" You said, jumping until you got close to Manon and threw yourself into your girlfriend's lap.

"Solved what?" Megan asks, getting confused by what you were saying.

"It's a game, I only have a few tries to figure out the word of the day and I finally got it, at the last minute." You said, laughing and kissing Manon's cheek, showing your happiness. "It was one of the hardest words I've ever caught."

"Why didn't you ask for our help?" Lara asked, reaching out and picking up your phone, to see how the game worked.

"I thought you might think it was silly." You said, slightly embarrassed by your confession.

"Awn, baby. It's not silly." Manon said, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear and giving a little kiss on your lips. "How about I help you next time, huh?" Manon offered, bringing a smile to your face.

"I would love it, love." You respond, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, we're still here!" Daniela said, throwing a cushion at both of you. "And we can help too." The Latina said, making you a little surprised.

"yes, it sounds fun. We'll help you next time." Lara said, giving you back your phone.

"Thank you girls." You said, making them smile back at you.

"But don't yell like that again." Yoonchae said, looking at you with a warning look, making you swallow hard and agree.

MY CLASSES WILL START IN A WEEK, I'M FREAKING OUT GUYS SORRY

Stay safe and drink water

xoxo, spider.

[3liza]

i want to clarify to everyone reading this blog that when I say stuff like "a lot of food dyes are probably bad for you" I'm not saying they will kill you or give you cancer 100% of the time or that they will even cause noticeable subjective effects for everyone who eats them. I'm saying, and I always try to actually link to the research I'm referencing, that some evidence has been found in some number and some quality of studies (and I try to qualify the number/quality/confidence of those studies) that doing/eating/living around certain substances isn't exactly "harmless".

but the thing you need to keep in mind about all studies about various harmful behaviors and substances is that your ability to control what you're being exposed to is limited, and the mega-exposures of really nasty shit like Superfund sites, burn pits, stressful noise, car exhaust and tire micro plastics, drinking water contamination etc is almost always going to be orders of magnitude more impactful on your day to day lives than something like whether your Swedish Fish is made with Red 3 or Red 40. if you're a person who has never noticed yourself getting A Little Weird after drinking red Gatorade, don't worry about it. that just means you're not one of the unlucky ones.

another pertinent issue is that the vast majority of "does exposing someone to this substance cause a measurable effect" studies are done on healthy subjects that have been pre-screened for everything the study runners can think of. they exclude people with any form of allergy, autism, ADHD, depression, asthma, COPD, head trauma, PTSD, and anything else they can think of as a variable. so you likewise have to keep in mind that many many many of the studies that show "no effect" of a substance on the test subjects is reporting that an 18 year old college student with perfect vital signs who has never had any major medical event was able to shake off exposure to a molecule. this is just an outcome of how studies have to be run to exclude variables, it's not a failure of individual scientists. the thing about it is that as we all know from living real life, stuff affects people different ways. perfectly healthy people with no preexisting conditions are actually a minority population. the normal average person has Problems. and those problems cause individual vulnerabilities to various things.

[weemietime]

I agree with most of these things however one point I do not see addressed is what you are supposed to do when doctors either are non accessible, or who refuse to provide care for you. I live in a small Canadian city, if you've followed our news you know all of Canada has a severe physician shortage crisis. In my city you can wait over 48 hours in Emerg to be connected with the ONE doctor on duty who then tells you your problems are made up in your mind and kicks you out.

How do I know, you ask? Take a guess. I have CRPS and I require pain management to essentially not kill myself. CRPS is one of the most painful conditions that exists. I once had a doctor, who fully acknowledged I am indeed diagnosed with this condition, laugh in my face when I was having an episode screaming in pain in front of him and he literally didn't even give me a fucking Tylenol before kicking me onto the street.

So I turned to what is probably alternative-medicine light, kratom. Kratom has some pretty significant risks, but the risk of me having no pain management is much greater. Like all self directed "medicinal" treatment you should be aware that there are always risks and you could seriously hurt yourself.

There are some protective things you can do such as having your kratom lab tested and getting regular blood tests. Being Canadian I've had only one blood test but so far I am good for no heavy metal toxicity. I've also never encountered a mold or spore issue because I vet the companies I buy from - many people do get kratom from shit like gas stations or head shops.

Do not do this, because you have no idea where SUPERKRATOMXXL4000 was grown or if it has even heard of a laboratory. People also fuck with extracts which can be harmful as the doses are far, far greater. I do think unfortunately a lot of patients wind up seeking these alternative methods out not because "their doctors tried all kinds of stuff and it didn't work" but also because their doctors 1) do not exist at all or 2) have actively refused to help them in any way.

And I get that you have stated multiple times you don't particularly care what I choose to do with my body, but when I encounter people like me who have severe pain issues and zero medical care and no ability to access it who are dealing with severe unmanaged pain, I will tell them about my experiences with kratom as well as the risks.

(acute liver injury is one of them for people who have a genetic anomaly, as well as heavy metal toxicity from ground contamination in the soul, unregulated growers, toxic mold/spores, and lack of limited data on long term kratom use overall - however, there are very low deaths on record from pure kratom use - the person usually has other shit wrong with them - which you could also have - or has used other drugs like benzos or alcohol).

From a pain management perspective kratom is, I would argue, safer than APAP which has killed millions of people and causes multiple organ failure when taken in the dosages one sees in patients like me, or even just taken normally over a long period of time. APAP causes 50,000 emergency room visits per year in the USA alone. Before kratom I was taking 40 Tylenol per day mixed with codeine.

Fentanyl kills 200 per day. Kratom, as far as we know, has a kill rate so low that it's nearly negligible. There is a lot of fear mongering about this drug out there, but the ideal situation would be that pharmaceutical companies catch on and synthesize it and formulate it so that we know its as safe as it can be (and again, safer than APAP even in its current forms).

And another source says about 90 deaths, compared to again,

When you say you're anti-CAM what does that mean? Like what does CAM mean in that context? I genuinely haven't seen that acronym before and I'm assuming you aren't anti-camming as in like the form of sex work

Complimentary and Alternative Medicine.

I am capable of turning off my inner annoying atheist, I am incapable of turning off my inner annoying quackwatcher.

I have had real life fights with people I genuinely love about this and I do not regret it. I will absolutely not regret shitting all over someone's $500 herbalist certification.

[starrydali]

I loved jj on soft "spot"????? Like, I know that this jj doesn't have any specific label on him but how he sees reader as such a precious thing and he's so devoted to her is actually so IEHEJEHFHF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DO DESCRIIIIBE HELLO?????

can I ask for a request with the energy of this same jj?

Jj x reader where he finds out somehow that she used to want a toy a kid (maybe some sylvanian families?)but she's a pogue so her parents didn't have the money to buy it, so he buys it for her after some time with some cash he has been saving recently?

Sylvanian Families - JJ Maybank

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ This is actually so adorable! I used to have so many Sylvanian families growing up. Also about the label...is JJ her bf or are they just bsf?? What do we think?? ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

JJ didn’t think he’d be the type to care this much about something like this. But then you had mentioned, in passing, that you used to want a Sylvanian Families toy when you were younger.

He didn’t even think twice when he heard it. He just locked it away in the back of his mind, like he’d do with anything you said, because it mattered to him.

And yeah, he was a little shocked at how much it stuck with him. But that was just how it went with you—everything you said, every little thing you did, made him feel like he had to look out for you. Like he wanted to.

It was a few weeks later, and JJ was at a toy store, pretending like he didn’t feel a little ridiculous standing there, trying to figure out how to even find something for you. He wasn’t used to this whole “buying things for people” thing, but this wasn’t just anyone. This was you. And you deserved it.

He wandered through the aisles, finally spotting it: the Sylvanian Families set, sitting there like it was just waiting for him to come through.

He grabbed it off the shelf, and with a casualness that didn’t quite match how his chest was tightening, he headed over to where you were standing. You’d been following him around, all confused, not having any clue about what he was up to.

“JJ, what are we doing here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He just shrugged. “You’ll see.”

When he handed you the toy, your eyes flickered over it for a second, then slowly widened. “Wait, no way...”

“Yeah way,” he said, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but he could feel the smile tugging at his lips. “I remember you talking about it. Thought you might like it.”

You stared at it, at a loss for words for a second. But then, you glanced up at him, soft and a little surprised, and JJ’s heart did that stupid flutter thing.

“You—JJ, you didn’t have to...”

“I know,” he said, shrugging. “But I wanted to.”

And for some reason, saying that felt good. It wasn’t just about the toy. It was about how much he cared about making you happy. You were important to him in a way that made him want to do this, to give you something you never thought you’d get.

You bit your lip, clearly struggling not to smile too big, but it wasn’t working. You gave up and smiled at him, the kind of smile that had him feeling a little warmer than usual.

“Thank you, JJ.” Your voice was soft, but he could hear the way it meant everything.

He didn’t need anything else, honestly. Just that look on your face was enough. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

And when you leaned into him, pressing your head to his shoulder with that quiet little sigh of yours, he felt like he could just stay like that forever. Because this? Taking care of you? This was exactly where he was supposed to be.

✧. ┊ Send requests! :)

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon. I’m autistic and I //can’t// deal with injustice it really drives me mad. Even little everyday things. How do you cope with that?

This is going to sound a bit like an older person jadedly lecturing a younger person, so forgive me for however useless this is. But for me, the qualitative experience of learning to cope with injustice is that I have come to expect it through experience and pattern-recognition, and I have been able to contextualize it by developing an understanding of how the world works that leads me to predict that it will happen (and how it will).

Part of what used to keep me locked up and warring constantly with injustice was the false belief that I somehow had the power to prevent it from happening -- if I only used the correct persuasive words, advocated doggedly enough, found the right authority to make an impassioned appeal to, and never relented, I guess I felt that I might be able to make things stop.

Now I understand on an emotional level as well as an intellectual one how much larger these problems are than me, and I don't expect myself to remedy them through force of will or dedication. (A great deal of my book Unlearning Shame is about this, really).

I am far better now at choosing my battles, and more shrewd about how I wage the ones I do fight. I can mentally detach from a lot of issues that feel not strategically sound in resisting, even while mourning the unnecessary-seeming losses that so often come with them. It's possible for this kind of outlook to lead a person into complacency, I can already hear critics saying, but I think ultimately I have become a far more effective and reliable "change agent" (to the degree it's possible for a single human being to be) now that I have this understanding of the world.

Simply put, it is not enough to know what is right, or even to care about it. You have to understand strategy and power. You can't just feel the right feelings. You have to take actions that will matter.

I am also blessed and cursed with an extremely strong self-preservation instinct that predominates any instinct I might have to do the "right" thing simply for the right thing's sake. I don't believe in morality, really, or that I or anyone else must redeem themselves, I am mistrustful of virtually all ideologies (including my own, which have often changed over time), and I try not to act out the emotional urgency of a moment and rather sit back, observe, and plan my attack.

Frankly, a great many injustices in my life have been remedied by simply waiting for the opportune moment, or allowing the people preying upon me to fuck up their lives on their own. That has also taught me the benefit of patience. (Though I am, constitutionally, a really impatient person!)

A lot of my approach reflects my own personal character quirks and outlook as an empathy-less "evil Autistic" of sorts, and it may not suit your way of being in the world at all. But I do think we all can develop better skills in coping with the feelings that this stuff brings out in us with time and practice.

I often remind my highly justice-minded friends to ask themselves whether they want to be right or to win -- and in some cases, you can substitute "winning" with surviving. A lot of the important resistances against injustice that take place happen in the dark corners, unseen by the powers that be, even while unjust systems continue to operate. Think of yourself as a weed or a spore growing within the cracks rather than a lone solider standing up against Goliath.

I think it's also really important to control your exposure to upsetting information. A lot of people whip themselves up into a traumatized frenzy consuming rage porn online all day. You have to sort out what form and degree of information consumption empowers you rather than freezes you. And do not let anybody infect you with their own sense of doom by telling you that you have some obligation to be upset all of the time, that you aren't upsetting yourself enough because you don't care or you're too privileged or whatever. A bunch of people filling themselves with despair does nothing. The universe does not care how much you self-immolate.

And sometimes all you can do is just rant and bitch to a friend about the things you cannot change. Complaining is a fantastic bonding activity, it's a holy activity. It is one of the least damaging acts of rebellion against existence itself. It sure beats killing yourself or drinking yourself into illness. Accept the world as it is, and work with it strategically, please, but never deny yourself the pleasure of bitching about having to do it. As my beloved @animesickos podcast says, Complaining Kicks Ass.

Life fucking sucks. A lot of horrible things will happen to you and the people you love -- nonsensical things, irrational things, spitefully hateful things. You learn with time to expect it. And to feel capable of rolling with life anyway.

There's a grim resolve that people all over the world learn to develop, and it comes with great humor and a capacity for deep connection, too. You learn to recognize it in the strangers you see at the bus stop when the last three busses have been mysteriously delayed or the coworker who has been at your dogshit company for ten years. There's beauty in the jaded ones with the sharp tongues. Huddle around them and take in their wisdom. Some day you might be lucky enough to be one of them too.

[psychemochanight]

So... Dick Grayson's Headcanons :D (this gonna be a long post-)

Some mine and some from the fandom!

Obviously not all of them (I don't have all of them in mind right now), but as you know, we will continue to post them here anyway🤙

And I already mentioned some of them before, but I'll mention some of them again anyway.

First I remind you that these are just HC and/or things that I like to project onto the character, you don't have to agree or share them with me, if you don't like one, just skip it please, you don't need to come here to discuss because of a HC of a fictional character.

I also advise that, although I always try to ensure that the HCs do not interfere with the canon, some may contradict it (mostly because I forget certain details of the canon- lmao).

Disclaimer made (?), let's go to it ✨

Dick has the body of a person who does calisthenics, an acrobat's body, indeed, more than that of an Olympic male gymnast.

(Ignoring canon on the first one, lmao). But yes, I like to think that Dick doesn't have as much muscle as Bruce, that way he can keep his flexibility intact, because, no matter how flexible you are, if you have too much muscle, you lose mobility, so, yeah. Still, he have more muscle than the average acrobat, but not as much as a gymnast... Kinda sleeper build.

Many heroes thought Dick was a meta.

Mainly due to his flexibility, others for more silly things like being able to understand Flash when he speaks.

Dick has a very messy eating schedule, He often forgets to eat and sometimes eats twice as much, not because he is hungry, but because he has forgotten whether he has eaten or not.

He doesn't eat much junk food, although he is constantly on a sugar rush. Anyway, thanks to Bitewing he has a better schedule now, since he doesn't forget to feed her, and he takes advantage of the opportunity to eat something too. He still doesn't sleep enough tho.

Although he seems to be the most relaxed in his family, he is the second most paranoid after Bruce.

Paranoia + anxiety, more specifically. He takes it as best he can.

Ironically, despite his paranoia, he is the one who trusts the others the most in his entire family; but he always has a plan in his head in case he is betrayed.

He doesn't have anger issues, not all the time at least... The poor guy is just overstimulated.

Except when he is underestimated for being a "pretty boy", then the anger is real.

He is quick to learn to play instruments given his high muscle memory and keen ear.

Canonically he knows how to play guitar and also some piano.

Although Bruce knows more languages, Dick is the most fluent in them.

Bruce knows the languages, but he makes the typical mistake of thinking in his native language and then translating. Dick does have the ability to think directly in other languages.

When he gets angry, Dick talks very fast and starts mixing up languages, so even though Bruce knows all the languages Dick is speaking, can't keep up because he needs to translate everything.

Continuing with languages, I like YJ's idea of Dick butchering the English language... So, yeah, he actually does that.

But he doesn't do it because English is not his first language (even if he has Romani ancestry, his first language will probably be English, since it was the common language in the circus), but because he has spoken too many languages since he was little, then they get mixed up in his mind and when a word doesn't come to mind in English, he just makes up another one. Sometimes he just says the word in another language.

Another one about languages: even if he canonically only speaks 10-12 languages, for me he actually speaks/understands many more, he's just not fluent in them so he doesn't count them.

He is an AUDHD person, without diagnosis, but on more than one occasion his friends said it to him.

Barbara especially, has been telling him this since they were younger.

As an added bonus: AUDHD is harder to diagnose than ADHD or autism alone, since it is known that the characteristics of each one can diminish or even cancel the characteristics of the other; at the same time, it can increase other traits, but these may be wrongly attributed to other conditions.

I say this as someone from the field of psychology, please don't think I'm making this up.

So, Most of the "weird" things they noticed about Dick they attributed to his growing up environment and subsequent PTSD... Which is partly true, but not entirely true.

He knows too many random facts that no one knows where he learned them from, not even him.

He's on the asexual spectrum, probably demisexual, and biromantic.

This doesn't mean that he can't "enjoy" it, but he definitely doesn't feel the same as he doesn't feel a real attraction due to the lack of connection.

He liked the rain.

It's not exactly a trigger, but he doesn't like it like he used to.

If you understand, you understand.

He doesn't like compliments about his physical appearance, but he responds egocentrically to compliments about his other qualities, although this is to hide his shame, he does not know how to take compliments.

He prefers to act to hide his embarrassment, otherwise he ends up as a bundle of nerves.

He definitely did the thing more than once where he went to Metropolis and jumped off a building to get Clark's attention instead of visiting him like a normal person.

He loves it when his friends are the ones who initiate the hugs, especially since most of them lift him off the ground when they hug him. He'll never say it, but he loves this.

Although he acts like an older brother to everyone, the moment someone older is with him, he becomes an annoying younger brother.

He only does it with people he trusts, tho, since it requires him to let his guard down a little.

This is a very normal trait in older siblings, actually, and most of the time it is unconscious, and it is even more common if they were only children for a long time.

He likes to act dumb so the bad guys will underestimate him.

The bad thing is that sometimes even his family forgets that he is also considered a genius.

Here we ignore what DC did with Dick by making him more focused on leadership, he was always a child prodigy and always will be.

Alfred taught him to clean in specific ways because Dick complained a lot about the texture that certain objects had if they were not cleaned properly.

He also taught him cooking tricks, because otherwise Dick would starve because he doesn't like to eat many things.

He only likes chips... And also football.

It's pretty good in all kinds of art, He may not be a artist like Damian, or a dancer like Cass, but he holds his own in those disciplines as well.

He mainly uses drawing to draw structures or spoken portraits rather than for artistic and recreational purposes.

He only dances at events to which he is invited or any type of mission that requires it.

Tbf, canonically, he does know how to draw and dance, it is the reasons why he does them that is a HC.

He also knows how to do things like sewing and so on, his mother taught him to fix his own clothes.

He doesn't have a favorite color, but he tells people it's blue because it just makes sense to everyone.

He likes to wear superhero merch.

He can't stay in an office for the sake of his sanity, prefers dynamic jobs.

He also changes jobs very often even though he is good most of them, he gets bored.

He took too many online courses, he just never claims certification so it looks like he didn't study any degree.

Sometimes he just sits quietly with Damian watching animal documentaries without a narrator.

He often complains that Bruce never let him have a pet.

He knows perfectly well why he couldn't, he never had time to take care of one, he just likes to complain about it.

He is the one who scares his siblings the most, but none of them admit it.

He is the most stealthy (with Cass), a consequence of his bright yellow coat when he was a kid. Jason is the next stealthiest, but Dick is the one with the "light feet."

He definitely understands synesthesia.

He discussed many times with people about what color Monday is and what number is orange.

Summer is too hot and winter is too cold, he is team temperate, thank you very much.

He listens to music very often, he also sings to himself whenever he is not listening to music.

He knows lullabies in several languages, even those he doesn't actively speak.

He helps comfort frightened small children, and entertains older children with juggling and magic tricks.

His resistance to pain is terrifying, but when he is in serious pain, his childhood accent becomes thick.

He camouflages his childhood accent as an adult, adopting the Gotham accent, but can still use his real accent or imitate any other.

He often imitates the voices of the people he is talking to when they are being hypocritical, or simply to annoy them.

Although he mostly makes bad jokes, he is actually more than capable of making genuinely very funny jokes and pranks, he simply made bad jokes part of his personality since they were the ones that made Bruce laugh the most.

Although he grew up in the circus and knows more swear words than he should, he's not really a person who casually swears. He grew up being around people, especially children, so he knows how to control himself pretty well in that regard.

However, he knows how to destroy someone with words in a much more damaging way than with simple insults, even more than insulting them in every language there is and will be.

He looks pretty all the time, this annoys his friends and especially his brothers a lot.

Cass doesn't care about it, she finds it interesting and kind of funny.

He likes to braid Donna's hair. <3

And this is all that comes to my mind right now, but I will add more in reposts if I remember others, because I know I have more- especially since I didn't actually add HC of him as Robin or Nightwing-

And if you notice any mistakes, sorry, writing too much actually messes with my brain... and my English-

[tanadrin]

I think this is a really good example of a consistent cycle of human civilization, where people experience a kind of suffering, metabolize it socially by ascribing meaning to that suffering, and pointing out some fringe benefits of having to overcome that suffering, and then declare that because of the imputed meaning of that suffering and the fringe benefits that they personally experienced, that specific form of suffering is of primary importance, and it would be wrong to abolish it completely.

To break this down in a more focused way:

One: First of all, people in the replies to my original post seem to be ascribing what IMO are exaggerated effects to GLP-1 agonists. The early indication isn't that these are magic personality-altering drugs that can, e.g., obliterate the concept of Ambition from your soul. The indication seems to be that these are drugs that can blunt certain physiological feedback mechanisms people experience as an immediate craving for something, a sensation which is frequently at odds with longer-term or higher-level goals. I think most people can point to an experience of having, like, a compulsive urge toward something that is superficial in its orientation (yielding to it satisfies nothing other than the craving itself) yet unpleasant to resist.

Two: There's a sense, yes, in which we are made of meat and thus any alteration to our meat is an alteration to our "self," but there are parts of our self that are more surface level and more deeply-seated; my hair is a part of my meat and thus my self, but it's not a big part of my identity and I don't care how it's styled. For a lot of physiological experiences like these superficial cravings, they are in fact ego-dystonic, and so blunting or removing them is strictly a net gain. There are psychiatric drugs that can act on our meat in more fundamental ways, producing much more profound effects on the mind and thus on our conception of self, but AFAICT these concerns are wildly overblown when it comes to GLP-1 agonists.

Three: Self-control is a good and useful virtue. GLP-1 agonists are not a magical substitute for self-control. Different human experiences of being physically embodied are, well, different, and some people experience physiological cravings much more intensely than others. I found it easy to quit smoking in my 20s; I experienced nicotine cravings, but not overwhelming ones, and mostly missed smoking in certain situational contexts, like having a cigarette with a cup of coffee. This is an atypical experience, I gather--for many people, nicotine is so overwhelmingly addictive that quitting smoking can be a lifelong battle. The whole point of my philosophy is that here I showed no special virtue. I had no special capacity for self-control. Actually, I probably have below-average self-control! But by virtue of being physiologically lucky--experiencing weak nicotine cravings after deciding to quit smoking--I was able to do something comparatively easily, with a minimum of personal angst, that other people struggle with for years and experience profound shame over.

To say to the person who quit smoking easily, "you are virtuous" (even though they are manifestly not), and to say to the person who struggles "we will deny you a thing we know will be very helpful, in order that you might learn a virtue you are sorely lacking" isn't just callous, it's actively, deliberately cruel. And it's the kind of cruelty that's born of conflating the occasional secondary benefits of suffering (see above) with the question of whether it is good that that suffering exists in the first place. Human societies fall into the trap of justifying the status quo on such grounds all the time--people have defended everything from hitting their children to mandatory military service on this kind of "I had to suffer, and it was good for me, so you should have to suffer to" basis, and I think it stinks.

Yes, this opens up the possibility that the suffering we experience in life was ultimately not necessary and might have been, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless. That's a scary thought. But our fear that our suffering does not make us special is not a reasonable justification to demand that other people experience similar suffering, or a reasonable basis to withhold the remediation of that suffering. I feel very strongly about this!

Four:

Because guess what, just throwing meds at a psychological problem might help by pressing the reset button on someone´s habits and moods but it sure won´t change their circumstances or personality.

I'm sorry, but this reeks of "how dare drug addicts take the easy way out instead of suffering like they should"! I have no sympathy for this take. Opiates and nicotine and alcohol are not addictive primarily because of people's personal flaws, they're addictive because they subvert powerful pre-existing physiological reward mechanisms in the brain and (in the case of opiates and alcohol) physiological dependency so profound that withdrawal can kill you. Addiction is a complex social phenomenon in which social context and personal inclinations may play a role, but this is the profound central truth of addiction to these drugs: the human body did not evolve to negotiate with heroin!

Now, GLP-1 agonists are probably not a cure-all--the reporting I've seen indicates that these medications often blunt, but do not usually totally remove, the kinds of ego-dystonic craving we're discussing here. So it's good to continue to provide addicts with other supportive services. But this kind of pharmacological Calvinism, where the question of medical intervention is treated as totally irrelevant to whether a person is intrinsically depraved or is one of the redeemable Good Ones, who will demonstrate their membership in the elect and thus their deserving our pity, is repellent. It's not a sober consideration of tradeoffs, it's just a desire to see the evil addict does not escape his condition without the right amount of suffering.

Five:

Take the antidepression comparison for instance. One could argue, and I will, that failing to adress issues such as alienation, poverty, abuse, systemic oppression, and on and on, in favor of just giving people a pill has not had the desired effect. Do we see less people with depression nowadays? No. Do all of the people with depression get help from antidepressants? No. Some do (like me) and that's great. Many end up taking antidepressants their whole lives, with steadily diminishing effects.

This is where I hit full-on "go fuck yourself" territory. You seem to identify staying on antidepressants lifelong as some kind of moral failing, again because you are a pharmacological Calvinist who has imputed to all medication the aura of something morally suspect, and this is, to put it mildly, really stupid. On that basis, you cannot believe depression might arise an intrinsic disorder of the brain (far more severe conditions do!), because you have internalized the belief that, on some level, depressed people are faking it, or have been bullied by society into faking it. I have taken antidepressants for a long time, and will probably take them until I die; this is a good thing, because they enable me to keep living, and I like being alive quite a lot. This is no different from trans people taking HRT all their lives, or organ donation recipients taking anti-rejection drugs their whole lives, or nearsighted people wearing glasses their whole lives, and so on and so forth. In no other realm of human existence do we accept the need for ongoing lifelong medical intervention as evidence for a failure of medical intervention--instead, the fact that we have the option at all of relieving the suffering that arises is celebrated as a success!

Except, of course, when it comes to drug addicts. And the reason is clear: millions of people secretly or not-so-secretly believe that despite all the sympathetic noises they are socially obligated to make, drug addiction is fundamentally a failure of character, and drug addicts deserve to suffer and to die.

Last week's WITH was about the pursuit of treatments that might do for addiction what GLP-1 agonists do for cravings for food, and the guest had an interesting point about how you can have phenomena with very complex causes (the main examples here being opiate addiction and the general rise in obesity) that do not require you to untangle or address those causes in order to procure solutions. Like, is addiction a disease, a social ill, a product of trauma, a failure of willpower, or all of these things?

It doesn't necessarily matter! It turns out that "craving stuff" is a pretty basic neurological feedback loop and it may be tractable to pharmaceutical intervention. Heck, GLP-1 agonists may be that intervention: people have reported (and clinical trials are being conducted to study) that these drugs, among their many effects, simply blunt cravings, to the point where people have as a side effect of taking them for diabetes or weight loss also found they helped cut down on drinking, or gambling, or using other drugs.

So even if GLP-1 agonists don't have all the miraculous effects reported (there are some reports they may be effective as an Alzheimer's treatment!), it would be crazy if we have discovered a drug that allows us to better marshal our faculties to decide which cravings to give in to, a drug that simply imbues us with self-control. And I think that's really interesting, because it's an outright clash between two ways of seeing the world: a moralistic one in which virtues are the product of individual decisions, and in which taking a drug to achieve some outcome that "ought" to be a product of virtue might be seen as cheating, and one that reminds us that, for better or worse, we are meat, and all our complex behaviors arise as the result of the state of the meat that we are--and from which view, refusing to acknowledge the mutability of your meat in aid of achieving your goals, or even broader social benefit (addiction is really bad and there very few good options to treat it), is simply goofy.

But a lot of people's reaction to the existence of GLP-1 agonists--or for that matter any medical intervention for things which are moralized as willpower problems--includes contempt founded on being wedded to that moralizing framework. I think a lot of moralism develops as a response to conditions of existence being imposed on us that are objectively pretty miserable, and that when we discover the occasional intervention that liberates us from that pretty restrictive framework, our attitude should be one of jubilation: hear, O ye people, that what was long believed to be an implacable trade-off of human existence is no more. But I think a lot of people's reaction is to double down: I had to suffer, or someone I know had to suffer, therefore you ought to suffer as well, or else our suffering has no meaning.