#would not be surprised if the person i am replying to
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tanadrin · 1 day ago
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I think this is a really good example of a consistent cycle of human civilization, where people experience a kind of suffering, metabolize it socially by ascribing meaning to that suffering, and pointing out some fringe benefits of having to overcome that suffering, and then declare that because of the imputed meaning of that suffering and the fringe benefits that they personally experienced, that specific form of suffering is of primary importance, and it would be wrong to abolish it completely.
To break this down in a more focused way:
One: First of all, people in the replies to my original post seem to be ascribing what IMO are exaggerated effects to GLP-1 agonists. The early indication isn't that these are magic personality-altering drugs that can, e.g., obliterate the concept of Ambition from your soul. The indication seems to be that these are drugs that can blunt certain physiological feedback mechanisms people experience as an immediate craving for something, a sensation which is frequently at odds with longer-term or higher-level goals. I think most people can point to an experience of having, like, a compulsive urge toward something that is superficial in its orientation (yielding to it satisfies nothing other than the craving itself) yet unpleasant to resist.
Two: There's a sense, yes, in which we are made of meat and thus any alteration to our meat is an alteration to our "self," but there are parts of our self that are more surface level and more deeply-seated; my hair is a part of my meat and thus my self, but it's not a big part of my identity and I don't care how it's styled. For a lot of physiological experiences like these superficial cravings, they are in fact ego-dystonic, and so blunting or removing them is strictly a net gain. There are psychiatric drugs that can act on our meat in more fundamental ways, producing much more profound effects on the mind and thus on our conception of self, but AFAICT these concerns are wildly overblown when it comes to GLP-1 agonists.
Three: Self-control is a good and useful virtue. GLP-1 agonists are not a magical substitute for self-control. Different human experiences of being physically embodied are, well, different, and some people experience physiological cravings much more intensely than others. I found it easy to quit smoking in my 20s; I experienced nicotine cravings, but not overwhelming ones, and mostly missed smoking in certain situational contexts, like having a cigarette with a cup of coffee. This is an atypical experience, I gather--for many people, nicotine is so overwhelmingly addictive that quitting smoking can be a lifelong battle. The whole point of my philosophy is that here I showed no special virtue. I had no special capacity for self-control. Actually, I probably have below-average self-control! But by virtue of being physiologically lucky--experiencing weak nicotine cravings after deciding to quit smoking--I was able to do something comparatively easily, with a minimum of personal angst, that other people struggle with for years and experience profound shame over.
To say to the person who quit smoking easily, "you are virtuous" (even though they are manifestly not), and to say to the person who struggles "we will deny you a thing we know will be very helpful, in order that you might learn a virtue you are sorely lacking" isn't just callous, it's actively, deliberately cruel. And it's the kind of cruelty that's born of conflating the occasional secondary benefits of suffering (see above) with the question of whether it is good that that suffering exists in the first place. Human societies fall into the trap of justifying the status quo on such grounds all the time--people have defended everything from hitting their children to mandatory military service on this kind of "I had to suffer, and it was good for me, so you should have to suffer to" basis, and I think it stinks.
Yes, this opens up the possibility that the suffering we experience in life was ultimately not necessary and might have been, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless. That's a scary thought. But our fear that our suffering does not make us special is not a reasonable justification to demand that other people experience similar suffering, or a reasonable basis to withhold the remediation of that suffering. I feel very strongly about this!
Four:
Because guess what, just throwing meds at a psychological problem might help by pressing the reset button on someone´s habits and moods but it sure won´t change their circumstances or personality.
I'm sorry, but this reeks of "how dare drug addicts take the easy way out instead of suffering like they should"! I have no sympathy for this take. Opiates and nicotine and alcohol are not addictive primarily because of people's personal flaws, they're addictive because they subvert powerful pre-existing physiological reward mechanisms in the brain and (in the case of opiates and alcohol) physiological dependency so profound that withdrawal can kill you. Addiction is a complex social phenomenon in which social context and personal inclinations may play a role, but this is the profound central truth of addiction to these drugs: the human body did not evolve to negotiate with heroin!
Now, GLP-1 agonists are probably not a cure-all--the reporting I've seen indicates that these medications often blunt, but do not usually totally remove, the kinds of ego-dystonic craving we're discussing here. So it's good to continue to provide addicts with other supportive services. But this kind of pharmacological Calvinism, where the question of medical intervention is treated as totally irrelevant to whether a person is intrinsically depraved or is one of the redeemable Good Ones, who will demonstrate their membership in the elect and thus their deserving our pity, is repellent. It's not a sober consideration of tradeoffs, it's just a desire to see the evil addict does not escape his condition without the right amount of suffering.
Five:
Take the antidepression comparison for instance. One could argue, and I will, that failing to adress issues such as alienation, poverty, abuse, systemic oppression, and on and on, in favor of just giving people a pill has not had the desired effect. Do we see less people with depression nowadays? No. Do all of the people with depression get help from antidepressants? No. Some do (like me) and that's great. Many end up taking antidepressants their whole lives, with steadily diminishing effects.
This is where I hit full-on "go fuck yourself" territory. You seem to identify staying on antidepressants lifelong as some kind of moral failing, again because you are a pharmacological Calvinist who has imputed to all medication the aura of something morally suspect, and this is, to put it mildly, really stupid. On that basis, you cannot believe depression might arise an intrinsic disorder of the brain (far more severe conditions do!), because you have internalized the belief that, on some level, depressed people are faking it, or have been bullied by society into faking it. I have taken antidepressants for a long time, and will probably take them until I die; this is a good thing, because they enable me to keep living, and I like being alive quite a lot. This is no different from trans people taking HRT all their lives, or organ donation recipients taking anti-rejection drugs their whole lives, or nearsighted people wearing glasses their whole lives, and so on and so forth. In no other realm of human existence do we accept the need for ongoing lifelong medical intervention as evidence for a failure of medical intervention--instead, the fact that we have the option at all of relieving the suffering that arises is celebrated as a success!
Except, of course, when it comes to drug addicts. And the reason is clear: millions of people secretly or not-so-secretly believe that despite all the sympathetic noises they are socially obligated to make, drug addiction is fundamentally a failure of character, and drug addicts deserve to suffer and to die.
Last week's WITH was about the pursuit of treatments that might do for addiction what GLP-1 agonists do for cravings for food, and the guest had an interesting point about how you can have phenomena with very complex causes (the main examples here being opiate addiction and the general rise in obesity) that do not require you to untangle or address those causes in order to procure solutions. Like, is addiction a disease, a social ill, a product of trauma, a failure of willpower, or all of these things?
It doesn't necessarily matter! It turns out that "craving stuff" is a pretty basic neurological feedback loop and it may be tractable to pharmaceutical intervention. Heck, GLP-1 agonists may be that intervention: people have reported (and clinical trials are being conducted to study) that these drugs, among their many effects, simply blunt cravings, to the point where people have as a side effect of taking them for diabetes or weight loss also found they helped cut down on drinking, or gambling, or using other drugs.
So even if GLP-1 agonists don't have all the miraculous effects reported (there are some reports they may be effective as an Alzheimer's treatment!), it would be crazy if we have discovered a drug that allows us to better marshal our faculties to decide which cravings to give in to, a drug that simply imbues us with self-control. And I think that's really interesting, because it's an outright clash between two ways of seeing the world: a moralistic one in which virtues are the product of individual decisions, and in which taking a drug to achieve some outcome that "ought" to be a product of virtue might be seen as cheating, and one that reminds us that, for better or worse, we are meat, and all our complex behaviors arise as the result of the state of the meat that we are--and from which view, refusing to acknowledge the mutability of your meat in aid of achieving your goals, or even broader social benefit (addiction is really bad and there very few good options to treat it), is simply goofy.
But a lot of people's reaction to the existence of GLP-1 agonists--or for that matter any medical intervention for things which are moralized as willpower problems--includes contempt founded on being wedded to that moralizing framework. I think a lot of moralism develops as a response to conditions of existence being imposed on us that are objectively pretty miserable, and that when we discover the occasional intervention that liberates us from that pretty restrictive framework, our attitude should be one of jubilation: hear, O ye people, that what was long believed to be an implacable trade-off of human existence is no more. But I think a lot of people's reaction is to double down: I had to suffer, or someone I know had to suffer, therefore you ought to suffer as well, or else our suffering has no meaning.
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kiwriteswords · 14 hours ago
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Full of Surprises [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader] *18+*
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Masterlist (not updated, sorry!)|| Ao3||Word Count: 3k|| AN: I felt like writing smut...but then scrapped all of the rest of this story where I felt like it was trash, but enjoyed writing this half I am sharing! As someone who loves going to clubs...this was fun! Although, I could never picture Hotch there, lol.
Tags/Warnings: female reader, clubbing, alcohol tw, flashing lights tw, flash tw, sexual themes, sexual tension, kinda fade-to-black smut, established relationship, team dynamics, mdni
Summary: What starts out as a simple favor for Penelope Garica turns into a heated night between you and Aaron Hotchner at a club--the least likely place either of you would end up.
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In the subdued lighting of the BAU conference room, Hotch sat with his usual composed posture at the head of the table. The chatter of the team filled the air, a stark contrast to the weighty silence that usually accompanied their more somber briefings. Today, however, was different--it was Penelope Garcia's birthday, and she had a particular request that was bound to shift the day’s usual dynamics.
Penelope, ever the heart of the team with her vibrant attire that seemed to defy the dark nature of their work, clapped her hands excitedly. "Okay, my wonderful band of profilers," she began, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm, "I have only one birthday wish this year, and it involves all of you!" She paused for dramatic effect, her eyes twinkling. "I want us to all go out tonight. Clubbing. Yes, you heard right. Dancing, music, maybe a little bit of responsible beverage consumption," she winked.
A murmur of amusement and surprise rippled through the team. Derek Morgan raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face. "Garcia going wild, huh? I’m in. It’s been a while since I showed you all my moves."
Emily Prentiss laughed, nodding in agreement. "Count me in too. It’ll be fun to see everyone out of the office and maybe out of their comfort zones--let loose a little." Her gaze flitted across the table, a playful challenge in her eyes.
Hotch, feeling a tug at the corner of his mouth, maintained his stoic expression, though internally, he was already forming a list of reasons why clubbing was not an ideal activity for him. He caught your eye from across the table, the hint of a shared secret in his glance. You, understanding his discomfort perfectly, couldn't help but feel a mix of sympathy and amusement.
Penelope’s gaze finally landed on Hotch and you. "And what about you two? This old lady would be heartbroken if her favorite stoic leader and his charming better half didn't come along to watch over us."
You chuckled, leaning back in your chair with a smirk. "Oh, come on, Hotch. How can you say no to that face? Penelope here has only turned twenty... well, a lady never tells. But tonight, we celebrate however many wonderful years Garcia has blessed this earth and our team."
Hotch’s lips pursed slightly, the corners tilting upwards in a reluctant smile. He knew there was no getting out of this one—not without disappointing Garcia, and if there was one person in the office who could melt his resolve, it was her. He let out a sigh, feigning resignation. "Well, it seems I don’t really have a choice in the matter, do I?"
Penelope clapped her hands, delighted. "Oh, this is going to be epic! Hotch on a dance floor, I need to see this."
"I won’t be on the dance floor, Garcia," Hotch replied, his voice low and even. "You know I don’t dance, and I’m not much for clubs."
"But you do have a soft spot for making sure I don’t get too sad on my birthday, right?" Garcia’s voice was teasing, but her eyes were earnest.
Seeing Hotch’s resigned nod, you leaned over, whispering loud enough for only him to hear, "See? It’s impossible to say no to Garcia. Plus, I’ll be right there with you. We can sulk in the corner together."
Hotch turned to look at you, his expression softening. The warmth in his eyes was reserved only for moments away from their grueling work, and it was in these moments you remembered why falling for him had been so easy. "I guess it’s a date then," he said, his voice carrying a hint of something that might have been anticipation, or perhaps it was just resignation dressed up nicely.
As the meeting adjourned, the team’s spirits were high with plans for the evening. Hotch stood up, his movements deliberate and calm, yet you caught the subtle signs of his apprehension. You reached for his hand under the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Remember, it's just one night. We survive facing unsubs; we can survive a few hours of loud music and bright lights," you teased, pulling him towards you gently, “Maybe someone will have too many drinks, and we’ll get to tease them about it forever.”
Hotch nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards ever so slightly as he allowed the wave of birthday excitement to carry him along, “This feels like a call from Human Resources Monday morning.” 
You laughed, “Babe, I think we’ve got that handled, you winked at him with a knowing look. 
When Aaron Hotchner pulled up to your apartment, he felt a mix of reluctance and anticipation about the evening ahead. He was dressed more casually than usual, with a simple button-up and black jeans, which felt almost out of character, given his usual preference for suits. The night air was cool, and the city lights blurred past as he waited for you to come downstairs.
As the door to your apartment building swung open, Hotch's breath hitched in his throat. There you were, stepping out in a dress that could only be described as stunningly bold. The skimpy, lace dress clung to every curve, its short length leaving much of your legs bare to the night. It was a departure from your usual professional attire at the BAU, and it was undeniably alluring.
For a moment, Hotch was frozen, caught between admiration and concern. His eyes traced your form as you approached the car, a playful smirk dancing on your lips as you clearly enjoyed his reaction. Too much, by the looks of it. He managed to regain his composure, though his heart rate refused to settle.
"Wow," Hotch managed to say as he stepped out of the car to greet you. He took a moment, his eyes lingering on you a little longer before meeting your gaze. "You look...incredible."
You laughed, a light, melodious sound that eased some of his tension. "Garcia said to dress up," you said, gesturing to your outfit. "I might have taken it a bit seriously."
Hotch couldn't help but smile, though his protective instincts nudged at him. "Aren’t you cold?" he asked, his tone lightly teasing yet laced with genuine concern.
"Maybe a little," you admitted, "but that's what you're here for, right? To keep me warm?" You stepped closer, reaching up to adjust his collar with a flirtatious touch that sent a shiver down his spine--not from the cold, but from the electric connection between you.
Hotch cleared his throat, his training in maintaining composure hardly preparing him for moments like these. "I'm not sure if I should be more worried about you catching a cold or about having to fend off anyone who tries to get too close tonight," he said, his voice a mix of jest and earnest protectiveness.
"Jealous, Hotch?" you teased, your eyes sparkling with humor and affection.
"Not jealous," he corrected gently, "Just...very aware of how lucky I am." He offered his arm, which you took with a smile, and led you to the passenger side of the car, his hand lingering on the small of your back a moment longer than necessary.
As he drove towards the club, the lights of the city flickered across your face, highlighting your smile. Hotch found himself glancing over at you; the image of you in that dress burned into his mind. 
It was going to be a challenging night for him, navigating this new experience with you by his side, looking as stunning as you did. But, as he felt your hand find his over the console, he thought that maybe, just maybe, stepping out of his comfort zone could be worth it.
At the club, the cacophony of music and chatter enveloped Aaron Hotchner as soon as he and you walked in. The lights flashed in sync with the pounding bass, casting everyone in vibrant hues. Hotch scanned the room, noting his team scattered about, each embracing the break from their high-stress jobs in their own way.
Rossi made a brief appearance, slipping an envelope--likely containing a generous check--into Penelope's hand before glancing around at the pulsing club scene and promptly making his exit. Hotch couldn't help but sympathize with Rossi's swift departure.
JJ was practically glowing as she danced near the DJ booth, repeatedly expressing her excitement about shedding her "mom" responsibilities for the night. Her laughter rang clear over the music, and Hotch felt a genuine happiness for her chance to unwind.
Emily was in her element, moving through the crowd with an ease that came from her years abroad, her laughter mingling with the beat of the music. She danced with a freedom that seemed to energize those around her.
Derek and Penelope were on the dance floor, moving together in a way that was definitely on the edge of what was considered office-appropriate. Hotch watched them for a moment, an eyebrow raised in mild amusement mixed with bemusement, wondering if they were aware of how closely they mirrored the fraternization policy he and you were bound by.
Spencer, surprisingly, had attracted the attention of the bartender, a young woman who seemed quite taken with his awkward charm. Hotch and you exchanged surprised glances, both impressed and slightly amused by Spencer's unexpected prowess in social settings outside of spewing random facts. 
Leaning back against the bar, Hotch took a cautious sip of his drink, the strong alcohol making him wince slightly. "They really don't hold back on the alcohol here," he commented, setting his glass down with a slight clink.
You nodded, a mischievous glint in your eye as you took another sip of your drink. "That's the point of a club, isn't it? To let loose a little?" you teased, the corners of your mouth twitching upwards in a playful smile. Your eyes never leave his over the rim of your glass.
Hotch watched you, a sense of warmth flooding him despite the coolness of his drink. "And what exactly are you planning to 'let loose' tonight?" he asked, the hint of a smile playing at his lips. He knew you well enough to recognize that look in your eyes--it usually meant you were up to something.
"Maybe I'm planning to get you to dance with me," you suggested your voice a mix of challenge and invitation.
Hotch watched as you took another slow sip of your drink, the mischievous glint in your eyes growing as you set the glass down. The neon lights flickered over your skin, accentuating the teasing tilt of your smile. The warmth of the alcohol buzzed through him, dulling the ever-present edge of control he kept so tightly wound.
“Maybe I’m planning to get you to dance with me,” you suggested, voice sultry with challenge, invitation woven into every syllable.
Hotch’s eyes darkened, his focus settling entirely on you. He leaned in slightly, the intoxicating scent of your perfume mixing with the heady atmosphere of the club. "You know that’s not really my thing," he murmured, his voice dropping into a deep timbre, the sound nearly lost beneath the pulsing bass. His breath brushed against your ear, sending a delicious shiver down your spine.
You tilted your head, letting your fingers trail lightly over the back of his hand before curling around his wrist. "Come on, Hotch," you coaxed, your touch like fire against his skin. "When was the last time you danced?" Your voice was low, smooth, dripping with something that sent heat pooling low in his stomach. "And when will you ever get another chance to dance with me like this?"
His jaw tightened as he let his eyes wander over you--your dress, the way it hugged every inch of you, the way the dim club lighting painted you in temptation. He knew what you were doing, and damn it, it was working.
He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly as if to ground himself. But the alcohol had softened the edges of his restraint, and the way you were looking at him--like you knew exactly what kind of effect you had on him--made resistance nearly impossible.
Finally, his gaze met yours again, unreadable, intense. "Alright," he relented, his voice quiet but weighted. "But only because it’s Garcia’s birthday…and because I can’t seem to say no to you tonight."
Your smile was slow, knowing, and you wasted no time, taking his hand and leading him toward the dance floor. The moment you pulled him close, Hotch felt the shift--the static in the air between you, the tension crackling in a way that had nothing to do with the club’s electricity and everything to do with you.
His hand found your waist, fingers splaying over the thin fabric of your dress, your body pressing against his in a way that sent heat licking up his spine. The music pulsed around you, but all he could focus on was the feel of you, the way your body moved against his, fluid and inviting.
"You’re full of surprises tonight," he murmured, his lips dangerously close to the shell of your ear.
You turned your head slightly, just enough that your lips nearly brushed his jaw. "You haven't seen anything yet," you teased, your voice dripping with promise.
Hotch swallowed hard, his grip on you tightening instinctively. It was going to be a long night.
As the music thrummed through the club, Hotch felt the rhythm take over, a surprising fluidity to his movements as he and you danced closely together. The air around them was charged with each beat of the music, intensifying the connection that pulsed between them. The proximity of your body, the way you moved with such confidence and allure, it wasn't just intoxicating--it was overwhelming.
Your hands rested on his shoulders, and suddenly, you were moving in closer, your body pressing firmly against his as you started to grind to the rhythm of the deep bass. Every shift of your hips sent a jolt of desire coursing through him, his hands instinctively tightening on your waist. The heat of the club, the press of bodies around you, it all melted away until there was nothing but the electrifying sensation of your body moving against his.
In the charged atmosphere of the dance floor, as the music pounded around them, you leaned in close to Hotch, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear as you whispered provocatively, "Imagine what I could do to you if we weren't surrounded by all these people." The words, laced with a daring and explicit intent, perfectly captured the electric tension that had been building between you throughout the night.
It was bold, even for you, and it struck a chord deep within him, lighting a fire he was struggling to keep contained..
Hotch’s breath hitched, his body tensing as he processed your words. He turned his head slightly, his eyes locking with yours in a look that was both heated and desperate. The club, the noise, the celebration--it all faded into the background as he reached a critical decision point.
"We need to go. Now," he growled lowly, his voice rough with restraint. His hand slid to the small of your back, guiding you firmly yet gently through the crowd toward the exit. The urgency in his touch left no room for doubt, his intention clear. The rest of the team was too caught up in their own motions to even notice you’d gone. 
As you made your way out of the club, the cool night air hit your flushed skin, but the intensity between you didn’t wane--it only grew. The ride home was a silent, tense affair, each stoplight a test of Hotch’s control as he sat mere inches from you, the memory of your whispered words replaying in his mind.
Once the door to his apartment closed behind you, the restraint he’d managed to hold onto all night shattered. He turned to you, his eyes dark with desire, reflecting a need that had been building since the moment he saw you in that dress.
"Tonight," he said, his voice low and certain, "I'm going to show you exactly what your words do to me." The promise in his voice was palpable, a perfect echo of the tension that had danced between you all night, now ready to be unleashed.
“Is that a promise?” You asked with innocent eyes. You began to walk toward his bedroom, your hips swaying side to side in a way that only made the growing tightness in his jeans more apparent. 
You looked back over your shoulders with a glint in your eyes. One that he felt deep in his groin as you slipped the dress off. To his surprise, you were wearing nothing under the dress. 
Hotch’s mouth went dry, his hands tensing and releasing as you looked pleased with his reaction. 
“What? Surprised?” You mocked, shrugging before continuing your path toward his room. Hotch felt his knees go weak as now the visual of your ass was on full display as you swayed your hips with each stride. 
He began working at the buttons on his dress shirt as he followed you like a man on a mission. His belt went next, likely landing on the floor somewhere between your dropped dress and his bedroom door. 
Inside his room, you had the audacity to crawl--you actually were on your hands and knees crawling to the head of his bed. From his angle, he got a perfect view of the slope of your back, your perfectly round ass, and just how wet you were--lips glistening in the low light of his bedroom. 
“You know,” You said, sitting pretty now on your knees at the headboard, “The quicker you stop wasting time wearing those pants…the quicker you can fuck me.” Hotch wasn’t a stranger to the mouth you had on you--he knew what that mouth could say…what those lips could do. But tonight? Something extra was charged in the air. 
Toeing off his shoes and then quickly making work of his pants and boxer briefs, he made his way over to you with a hint of amusement on his face. He contemplated making you wait…beg? Or fulfill his own needs and yours without the fuss.
Both seemed fun, he thought, so he figured he would see just how long he could hold out. Considering the way his cock ached between his legs, he wasn’t far from begging himself. All he knew was he was glad he went to the club that night. He was even more glad you wore that dress. And to see all you had under it (or lack thereof), for him…he knew he was the luckiest man on the earth. 
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Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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it's the day before my birthday, and my girlfriend surprised me with an outing to a local bird aviary/botanic gardens in the mountains!!!
this was an absolute delight for me, known bird enjoyer, and i got to have many cute and phenomenal birds perched on my head (which i loved and plushie magolor 'tolerated', on account of it being my birthday). i even got to see a nicobar pigeon, which i had never seen in person before!
they also surprised me with an early birthday present to use at the incredible mountain-top picnic spread my gf planned (😭😭) of this extraordinarily cute kirby themed liquid-glitter cup!!
and of course, in true starflung fashion i injured myself twice
once, not three minutes into the outing when my umbrella (which i only require because i'm allergic to both the sun and sunscreen) bit me, and my gf had to run to reception to get me a bandaid. later, when i just totally fkn stacked it on some loose gravel on a slope and i got the umbrella back by slamming it into the ground, along with my knees and one palm. but not the other palm, which was holding plushie magolor, who touched neither gravel nor dirt and never will while i still breathe!
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fragglerockopinions · 8 months ago
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#This shouldn't be a surprise but seriously no one actually cares about my survival yes I've asked for help why would I get help#I'm functionally nocturnal and I keep staying up for like 48 hours and then sleeping for a day and I never know where I am#Or what day it is or if it's morning or night#Normal humans eat three meals a day and snacks right I think I maybe eat a snack every other day#I just don't feel hunger and my body hurts and cooking is so much effort I don't have#Weed used to help me be able to eat easily but now everything is just so hard and no food in house n cant go to store bc of ptsd too scary#I keep telling people when they ask that I am doing badly and need help but they as always just tell me to go to the store and buy food#Because it should be easy for a normal person!!! That would be such helpful and kind advice if I were normal#But I am not I am severely sick and traumatized and driving hurts so bad and stores give me panic attacks#Seriously if literally nobody cares about my struggling why not just be euthanized at this point?#This problem is so inconvenient to everyone and I have done all I can to convince people that I'm worth the inconvenience but :(#If I were worth talking to or visiting or helping people would have done that and I would be fine but I am not and that's okay#I genuinely don't mind being a husk at all#I'm just weirdly sad about it right now maybe because I think I feel hungry but genuinely I can't tell thanks autism#I also haven't been able to do my t shot in like three or four weeks I keep trying but I literally can't get the needle in :((#I imagine less testosterone in my system also makes me tired and lose my appetite#I'm so fucked up and nobody cares that I start my day at 8pm and am active and reply to emails and shit at 4am#Why would anyone notice that first of all but still. I would notice.#When even strangers are struggling I notice and I will do anything for anyone but it's selfish upon selfish to expect it back I understand#I keep looking for arfid and ed affirmations to help me but I can't find anything good#Genuinely . what the fuck#Just fucking need to be someone's dog feed me walk me put me in a cage teach me how to be better and treat me like I don't know shit#Because I don't I'm so stupid I can't even feed myself I'm dying please help me
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whorelaud · 1 month ago
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OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (07)
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social media & irl AU !
pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content mature content, nsfw (nothing too explicit, it gets interrupted), suggestive, making out, pet names, unresolved tension, fluff, sexual jokes, desperate rafe (mhmmmm), brief mention of cocaine
NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 06 ! 07 ¡ 08
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↳ yourusername replied to your story: hey… that’s not very nice :( 
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Rafe kissed you. 
It wasn’t a dream, nor was it accidental. Rafe Cameron, whom you marked off limits, kissed you, and hell, did you enjoy every second of it. 
From that moment on, every minute you spent within his presence felt like living on edge; sneaking behind your brother’s back to enjoy his company, aware of the consequences, and the heartbreak that would result out of the truth. 
Liking Rafe was like a calm after the storm, the moment your eyes land on him, time stops, and you forget all your worries. How were you supposed to resist him, when he’s your only escape from reality? The only person who’s ever made your heart rate increase in pace within a span of seconds. 
Getting a casual conversation out of a guy, without it oscillating to something sexual was difficult in this society, however, with Rafe, it was easy. His eyes bloomed with more than just lust, it made all your doubts about finding the one fade, and that alone, would have younger you screaming. 
Because what do you mean there’s a man out there that lines up with everything you’ve dreamed of and more, the puzzle you’ve been missing your whole life, merely for him to end up being your brother’s best friend, someone so forbidden, it burns when his touch lingers.
A bob formed in your throat, one hard to swallow down, that as much as it stings, you chose to bear it, even if it goes against the trust you formed with your brother. You told yourself it was okay, Ryan won’t overreact if he found out, right?
With a few touches, you managed to head downstairs, with everyone rushing you to come out, starting with Ryan, who somehow managed to call you fifteen times in the span of a minute. To your surprise, it wasn’t him driving, though, but Rafe? 
You slightly halted when he greeted you with a smile, one hidden from everyone else’s eyes. A pair of sunglasses hugged the bridge of his nose, covering the glint of cockiness swelling through his gaze. 
Reaching for the door handle, you quickly smiled at the sight of Sarah as she perked up from her seat once she seized sight of you. A grin formed on your lips, joining the girl’s side, completely forgetting yourself in her embrace, that Ryan’s scoldings barely registered in your system.
“Your brother is such a dick,” she joked, eyebrows furrowing with fake annoyance. “I couldn’t even properly get ready ‘cause of him.” 
“Me?” He gasped, irritated by the ‘false’ remark. “You’re the one busy eating your boyfriend’s face!” 
“Why am I getting involved?” John B chimed from Sarah’s side. “I was helping her out.” 
“Yeah?” Ryan muttered in a mocking tone, “How so?” 
“I do not want to know that.” Rafe clicked his teeth, dismissing Ryan’s question with his statement. 
“You shut the fuck up.” Ryan scoffed, a sour expression smeared over his face. “Lending JJ my car? God knows what will happen to it.” 
“JJ’s not a bad driver…” you trailed off, earning a dirty glare from your brother. “What?! Unless he’s drunk off his mind, then you’re good. He was always in charge of Twinkie.” 
“That horrendous Van?” Ryan asked, voice filled with disbelief. “My baby and that ugly thing are two different things, don’t you dare compare them.” 
“Alright man,” John B started, “At least it gets the job done.” 
“Why are you picking a fight with everyone?” Rafe chuckled, pulling out of the driveway. “Sit back and relax, don’t stress your pretty lil’ brain out.” 
“Gross.” Sarah muttered under her breath, nose scrunching with disgust. 
“Can I get aux?” You asked, earning Rafe’s attention as he seeked the chord plugged to the speakers, immediately offering it to you from over his shoulder when it was within his reach. “Thank you.” 
“Mhm.” He hummed, the grogginess in his tone rattling through your chest. 
“Why is she in control of aux?” Ryan perked up at the act, addressing Rafe with his question. “I thought we agreed I’d be in charge.” 
“That’s in bed, baby.” Rafe flashed him a tight-lipped smile, sparing him a glimpse for a second, before his attention was back on the road. His fingers found the curve of Ryan’s jaw, using the tip of the digits to scratch the latter’s chin. 
“Move!” He slapped Rafe’s hand away, lips jutting into a frown. “Why’s everyone ganging up on me today?” 
“‘Kay, stop acting like a bitch.” You started, further getting on your brother’s nerves. “Should’ve stayed home.” 
Rafe’s arm blocked Ryan from shooting off his seat, a glint of amusement smothering through his expression. If one could calm Ryan, it was definitely Rafe. Considering their differences, they get along quite well, perhaps why they’ve made it together far this long. 
The rest of the car ride filled with havoc, as both you and Sarah sang along to the lyrics, while John B sat back and watched, admiring his girlfriend with so much love, you were envious. Oh to openly stare and have it not be a problem; was that too much to ask for? 
A pit of jealousy laid low in your stomach, gaze shifting back to Rafe, whose eyes were glued to the road. Or so you thought, as his pupils caught you staring through the rearview mirror, not breaking the contact in hopes of you noticing him, even for a mere second. 
The action was cut short when Ryan took notice of the situation, eyebrows furrowing with puzzlement as he directed his attention to you in a swift movement. His face pressed to the leather seats, reaching over the dashboard, and flicking your arm with the intent of capturing your focus. 
“Where’s your wallet?” He asked, voice muffled due to the melody playing in the background. 
“My wallet?” You repeated, afraid you heard the phrase wrong. “Why do you need my wallet?” 
“I put my ID in there,” he explained, searching for the object with his gaze. “Figured you’d have it on you.” 
You rolled your eyes, patting around your seat, in an attempt to grab your wallet, instantly coming to a halt as realization washed over. “Wait.” 
“What?” Ryan mumbled. 
“Did I get my wallet?” You asked, the question mostly to yourself. “I think I forgot my wallet.” You stated, peeking down the seats, in case it fell by accident. “You idiot, this is all your fault!” 
“How is it my fault?!” He shot back, “Who forgets their wallet? That’s totally on you!” 
“Yeah, own one then come talk.” You stifled out a sarcastic laugh, crying out with frustration. “This is so annoying, can’t we go back?” 
“That’s a twenty minute drive from here.” Rafe answered, “I’d go back, but that would delay our plans.” 
“Yeah,” Sarah agreed, rubbing soothing circles to the blade of your shoulder. “It’s fine, you can jus’ use my card, baby.” 
“It’s okay Sarah,” you groaned, falling back in your seat. “That’s not necessary.” 
“Oh come on, are you scared I’ll put you on a budget?” Sarah teased, attempting to ease your discomfort. “Don’t worry, I’ll sugar mama you.” 
A giggled escaped your throat at her words, mockingly sticking out your tongue when Ryan flipped you off. While Sarah strived to comfort you, worry yet washed over your expression, contemplating how you were going to spend the next few hours, with nothing but your phone on you. 
The passing few minutes felt like an eternity upon your arrival, quickly joined by your friends once Rafe was all parked. It was fun, despite your friends insisting they’d pay for you, you still refused, shaking your head anytime they offered to buy you something that caught your interest. 
Rafe noticed your shift in mood, cracking a joke every now and then, for a mere reaction out of you. And surprisingly, it worked, the latter managed to squeeze a giggle out of you, ridiculed by the horrible dad jokes he added in between conversations. 
“Is it hot?” Rafe questioned, eyebrows furrowing with concern at the droplets of sweat trickling down your neck. 
“Hmm?” You hummed, lips jutting with confusion. “It’s not bad.” 
“Yeah?” He teased, gaze flickering to your hand, as you patted your neck dry with the gesture. “Want something to drink?” 
“What? No.” You shook your head, admiring while your friends observed the handbags displayed on the counter. “I’m fine.” 
“Hey uh,” Rafe’s voice suddenly broke out, earning everyone’s attention in the process. “We’re grabbing drinks, do you guys want anything?
Your gaze fixed on Rafe with disbelief, taken aback when he tugged your wrist, nodding along to your friends’ requests. Ryan took in the scene with confusion, mind racing with all sorts of thoughts, over why he shouldn’t reach over and yank Rafe’s hold off, forcing the fact that he was his best friend, he wouldn’t do such a thing, and betray his trust. 
And if Rafe saw, he didn’t say a thing, choosing to not acknowledge it as he dragged you with him to the main lobby surrounded by different varieties of fast foods’ restaurants. Rafe let go of your hand, upon standing in line, with you already missing the warmness of his touch, breath hitching when he stood close enough for you to take a whiff of his musky cologne.
“Hey, how are you doing?” Rafe flashed the cashier a polite smile once it was your turn, eyes hovering over the menu displayed on the screens. “Can I get a uhh…” 
You took Rafe's side while he listed your friends’ orders, stiffening when he turned to face you, with the purpose of asking for what you wanted. “I’ll get a milkshake.” 
“Okay,” he nodded, observing the milkshake options on the menu. “What flavor would you like?” 
“Whatever that’s available.” You stammered, clearing your throat as your eyes flickered to where Rafe was looking, trailing off before you muttered your next sentence. “Chocolate’s fine.” 
“We’ll take one chocolate milkshake, then.” Rafe informed the cashier, flashing him a tight-lipped smile as he handed him his card. 
The cashier passed Rafe the receipt, politely asking you two to step to the side, while waiting for your order to finish. You obliged to the request, following in Rafe’s steps as he took a corner, snorting when he plopped his arm over the counter, for the mere purpose of supporting his weight. 
“What?” He chuckled, toying with the straws presented in the cup. “What’s so funny, Bug?” 
“Don’t call me that.” You jokingly huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. 
“Is this about your wallet?” He cooed, poking your side with one of the straws. “Why are you upset?”
“I’m not upset.” You repeated, denying the assumption, though the boy had you practically figured out. “You’re annoying.” 
“Yeah, and you’re grumpy.” He scrunched his nose, the gesture playful, teasing you in a way. “Whatever you want, buy it, I’ll pay for you.” 
“I spend a lot of money, Rafe.” You uttered, ridiculed by his words. “Sure you can handle it?” 
“Well,” he leaned down, voice dropping barely above a whisper. “Can you spend as much as I can earn?” 
That earned a scuff out of you, rolling your eyes as you lightly smacked his shoulder, the action rattling a chuckle out of Rafe. Your face flushed with heat , remaining silent to suppress your flustered state from taking over your expression. 
It didn’t take long before you were heading back, with the drinks ceased in your hold, as well as Rafe’s. Your friends were quick to help out, handing each person their order, while they offered you a smile of gratitude in return for your act of kindness. 
Conversation with Rafe flowed like water, lifting your spirits, and cracking a smile of you every time he’d lean down and whisper hushed words into your ears. The action was subtle, you were sure none of your friends picked up on the way you’d tense each time Rafe stood too close, or made his presence known, shamefully letting his gaze flicker to your parted lips while your brother stood a few inches away, unaware of the latter’s intentions, and the tension seeping through the thick air. 
Speaking of Ryan, the boy wandered off, leaving you and your friends behind, though that swiftly oscillated as each of you split into pairs, leaving you with Rafe, who did everything in his power to cut through the silence building up. 
You brushed off his statements with short sentences, your dry responses settling a pang of guilt through your chest, intents far from hurting the latter, only realizing the switch in Rafe’s mood after you glanced up, and noticed the look of disappointment smothered all over his face. 
Your attention fixed on the several fragrance bottles splayed on the shelf, misting the aroma over the paper samples to sniff each one. Rafe stood and watched, whirling your shake (God knows how that ended up in his hold) around with a lack of enthusiasm, failing to hide the fact that he wasn’t interested in what you were doing. 
One of the perfumes piqued your curiosity, spraying it on your wrist to take another whiff, the soft vanilla scent intoxicating your senses. You suddenly turned to face Rafe, a smile spreading across your lips when he halted, lips extending with confusion at your sudden burst of excitement. 
“What is it?” He mumbled, brows pinching in a knot. 
“This one smells so good,” You uttered, taking a step forward, then pausing to ask your next question. “Do you wanna smell?” 
“Sure.” He instantly straightened up, a sly smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 
Without thinking, you moved your arm ahead, offering the boy the patch of perfume sprayed on your hand, the action deemed innocent, catching Rafe off guard as he froze. He took a moment to process how close you were, now merely separated by your wrist as it blocked his vision from landing on your face, and hell, did you look pretty up close, though the majority of your features were covered.
Rafe hesitated, processing the risky ponders wandering through his head with haste, letting his impulsive thoughts take over as his fingers seized control of your wrist, inching it closer to his chin before he planted a gentle peck to the palm of your hand. 
His hold lingered around your wrist, his mouth burning hot over your flesh, and spiraling a rush of adrenaline through your veins. A shuddered sigh barely escaped your parted lips, fluttering your eyes up at the latter, your flustered expression not much of help; smearing a mischievous smile across his lips.
“What are you doing?’You stuttered through a breath, hastily retrieving your hand from Rafe’s hold.
“Smelling it,” he explained, acting as if the action was the most normalest thing ever. “You asked me to smell it, did you not?” 
“I did,” you shot back with frustration, pupils narrowing with the flutter of your chest, feeling your pulse quicken under Rafe’s gaze. “I said to smell it, not kiss it.”
“What’s wrong?” He chuckled, pointing his finger in your direction. “Are you shy?” 
“What?” Your face twisted with fake annoyance, glimpsing around before you lightly kicked his knee. “No, Rafe. What if someone saw you?” 
“I don’t care.” He stifled out a sarcastic laugh, amused by your reaction. 
“Yeah?” You forced your lips into a fake smile, ridiculed by Rafe’s lack of worry. “And how will you explain whatever that was to Ryan, Mr. I don’t care?” 
“He’ll understand.” Rafe mocked, grabbing the perfume you sprayed from the shelf. “How can I hold myself back, when you’re this beautiful, baby?”
There it was, baby. The pet name only made your heart race more, the sound so loud, you heard it echoing through your ears.
A hitched breath knocked out of your chest, taken aback by the sudden boldness seeping through Rafe’s tone, your shyness only encouraging him more. You cleared your throat, grabbing the drink from his hold before facing away, afraid you’d crumble if you stared any longer. 
“Shut up.” You dismissed, faking interest in the purses displayed on the shelf. “Don’t do that again.” 
“‘Won’t make any promises.” He clicked his teeth, grabbing a packaged perfume from next to the various ones on display. “Do you want to get it?” 
“No.” You shook your head, politely refusing with a glimpse over your shoulder. “It’s okay.” 
“Alright,” he nodded, streaking past you, and heading straight towards the line. “We’re getting it.” 
“That’s not necessary, Rafe.” You muttered through gritted teeth, avoiding the weird looks you received when Rafe dodged your attempt at snatching the boxed fragrance. 
While you were stubborn, the latter was twice as stubborn as you were, insisting on buying it, despite you refusing. And true to his intentions, Rafe ends up purchasing the perfume for you, a defeated scoff exiting your throat when he flashed you a sheepish grin, proud of his accomplishment. 
A sigh of relief tumbled past your mouth when you spotted Cleo, along with Pope, taking the scene as an opportunity to escape Rafe’s side; though that wasn’t a choice, with the blond practically gluing to you, following in your steps like a lost  puppy. 
It didn’t take long for the rest to join in, deciding it was a good time to leave upon the stores closing, one followed by another. Ryan contently retrieved his keys from JJ, fetching Pope, Cleo, and JJ, while the rest of you stuck in a group, the ride back filling with chaos, as yet, another karaoke session broke out, excpet this time, it involved lots of heartbreaks. 
A new category. 
The majority of your evening was consumed by the ocean waves rocketing, while you and your friends messed around. You let your worries go for once, heart swelling with happiness, one you didn’t think could be ruined.
Things were perfect, as you reunited with your friends, got to spend your summer vacation with them, and you met Rafe. You haven’t been happier since, it terrified you, heart stinging with horror, because you refused to believe this wasn’t ending on a bad note, hence it was a little too perfect.
The night ended off quite earlier than you had expected, with your friends excusing themselves to bed after movie night. Rafe subtly sneaked a smile your way, mouthing ‘goodnight’ before disappearing off to his room. 
That being said, you strived to fall asleep, resetting your progress every time you’d accidently unlatched your eyes, a huff of frustration escaping your throat in the process. You were too overwhelmed to sleep, unable to suppress the foolish grin masking your lips as what happened earlier stumbles across your mind, the vivid image of Rafe’s expression creating a flustered mess out of you. 
You tried not to think about it, being as quiet as physically possible, to avoid stirring Kiara’s slumber, anything but wanting to disturb her sleep. A random video played on your phone, a mere background noise as your brain, yet wandered back to the situation, zoning out, and fully abandoning the device in your hold. 
Your thoughts were interrupted by a ping, attention shifting back to the bright screen, almost gasping when you caught the contact of the sender. 
It was Rafe. (not one person is surprised)
rafe 👍: You awake?
Sent, 12:55 am
You: ?? hello
rafe 👍: Hi baby
Your face flushed with heat, unfamiliar with the latter constantly using pet names, the act surprising, never failing to make your heart flutter. 
You: why are you awake?
rafe 👍: Hmm
rafe 👍: Probably the same reason you are
A laugh stifled out of your throat at the message, hurrying to type back a response.
You: yeah 🤨
You: and what reason must that be
Rafe’s text bubble appeared and disappeared, fingers hesitatingly hovering over the screen, while you awaited the latter’s answer. 
rafe 👍: I 
rafe 👍: I can’t stop thinking about you
rafe: It’s driving me crazy
Oh. 
Oh. 
You: stop being an idiot
You: go to sleep its late
rafe 👍: I’m not fucking around
rafe 👍: Wanna see you so bad
Your eyes fluttered with utmost desire, digging your teeth through your bottom lip, merely to confirm this wasn't a dream. 
You: we’ll see eo tmr 
rafe 👍: You think
rafe 👍: I can wait til’ tomorrow? 
rafe 👍: I can't Yn
rafe 👍: Can I come to your room
You: Huh
You: what
You: for what?
rafe 👍: Js’ wanna see you baby
rafe 👍: Am I not allowed to do that?
You nervously gulped, well aware he wanted more than to just see you; both of you did. 
You: kies asleep
rafe 👍: Okay 
rafe 👍: I’ll be fast
The desperation in his tone squeezes a shy snort out of you, sitting up in bed as you typed out a reply. 
You: don’t come
You: stay in your room
rafe 👍:  What
rafe 👍: Why? 
You: i’ll
You: come to you
rafe 👍: Shit wait
rafe 👍: Are you serious?
rafe 👍: Don’t fuck with me 
You: is anyone by you
rafe 👍: NOo
rafe 👍: No one is by me
rafe 👍: I’m all alone
you: alr
you: im coming
You don’t know whether it was the sleep heaving your eyes, or the desire engulfing your insides,  however, you felt sure of your decision, leisurely pulling the covers off your figure, before you hastily made your way out, with the purpose of seeking Rafe. 
A knock is all it took, with the latter quickly unlatching the door, chest rising and falling with a breath once he caught sight of you. His gaze trailed down to your satin sleep set, perfectly adorning your figure, that holding himself back felt far out of the picture. 
“Hi.” You sheepishly greeted the latter, growing nervous under his gaze. At that, Rafe’s head shoots up, swallowing down the lump forming in his throat. 
“Hey,” he shot back, clutching the doorknob with force. “Come in.” 
You accepted the invitation, steps slow as you let yourself inside, observing the plain furniture, so boring,yet screaming Rafe’s name. “Your room is nice.” 
“Thanks.” He mumbled, scratching the back of his head once he shut the door, eyes roaming everywhere but your face. 
He was starting to regret this, tempting himself when he knows he can’t handle another minute with you this far away, wanting nothing but to seize the distance, cross the now invisible line and fuck it. 
“You’re welcome.” You hummed, lips pursing into a thin line. 
Tension seeped through the air, heaving the atmosphere with lust, desire; all your wants and needs. 
“Why did you want to see me?” You abruptly asked, approaching the door once again, a few feet down from Rafe. A chuckle escaped your lips, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “In the middle of the night, too? You’re not slick, Cameron.”
Mhm, that made things even worse. 
“Do I need a reason to see you now?” He answered you with another question, casually, but deliberately approaching you. “You think I’m that bad?” 
“No.” You whispered, fingers clutching the fabric of your shorts, reminiscing over the memory of his lips colliding with yours after your back firmly pressed to the door, chest immediately swelling with Deja Vu. “It was a joke.” 
“Yeah?” He mumbled, voice dropping to match yours. “You think that night was a mistake?”
“What night?” You stiffened, prior to acknowledging his question, as you’ve done nothing but avoid it over the past few days. 
“The night I kissed you.” He further clarified, his figure swallowing yours as he hovered over you. “You regret it?” 
“Why are you bringing that up?” You nearly choked on your own spit at the confrontation, goosebumps breaking out across your arms when the tip of his fingers lightly traced over your forearm, the sensation like feathers to your flesh. 
“Don’t know,” he replies, vision going blurry. “Wanna know how you feel.” 
A shaky sigh managed its way past your lips, mouth gaping to speak, but instead met with utter silence in return. Rafe’s eyes glinted with keen, seeking an answer out of you; a response to all his problems and more. 
But nothing. 
“I’ll leave.” You started, words far from what you wanted. “It’s getting late.”
Rafe’s face fell at that, chest swelling with disappointment as he shifted to step back, giving you enough space to squeeze through. “Right, you should; ‘s totally my fault for keeping you up.” 
One word. That’s all you wanted to hear; don’t. 
However, you were both idiots, too afraid to express your feelings for each other, hesitating over the possibilities of what if’s.
So what if Ryan found out? 
You like Rafe, so much it stings knowing you can’t have him, your said brother being the reason he’s forbidden. He’s your blood, though, him of all people should know how much this means to you, hence he’s witnessed all your horrific experiences with dating. 
Telling Ryan wasn’t the problem, it was you all along; teetering to make the first move, let your impulsive thoughts win and claim him, move forward and crash your lips on his, it was all on you for putting other people’s priorities over yours. 
Putting yourself first spoke like no other, and that’s exactly what you did as you grabbed Rafe by the collar of his shirt, wasting no time before you collided his lips with yours. 
Rafe’s eyes widened with shock, arms awkwardly hanging to his sides as you captured his bottom lip in between your own, proceeding with the gesture when you angled your head to the side, intending to deepen the kiss. 
Rafe didn’t do anything though, he froze in his spot, not daring to move, even after you mustered up the courage to kiss him. Panic immediately washed over as you pulled away, mouth moving faster than your brain while muttering your next words. 
“Shit, I’m sorry.” You apologized, guilt evident in your expression. “I thought you wanted this– I didn’t mean to force anything on you, we can jus’ act like this never happened, I don’t m–”
Your rambling cut short, interrupted when Rafe sweeped you in an eager kiss, the action desperate, seeking closure through it. You contently kissed him back, yelping when his arm found the curve of your waist, applying enough pressure to seize control of your body. 
The latter almost stumbled over his own feet, nearly falling in the process of leading you to the bed. Rafe took action when he noticed your struggle to keep up, hands traveling to the back of your thighs, and before you knew it, the boy scooped you in a swift movement, your legs latching to his sides for support.
Your arms wrapped around Rafe’s neck, moaning as he nibbled the plump of your lip with the graze of his teeth, using your parted lips as an opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, letting the warmth of your spit coat his own. 
His tongue swirled over yours, managing to plop himself on the edge of the bed, all while squeezing and kneeding your ass, chasing after your pleasure with each time you squirmed in his hold. 
“Fuck,” rafe muffled in between kisses, “Taste so fuckin’ good, baby.” 
A moan rolls off your tongue at the praise, mind hazing with despair as Rafe’s hot breath fanned over your face, the warmth tickling your skin, and sending shivers down your spine. Rafe wasted no time, fingers finding the hem of your shirt, the tip of his digits teasingly toying with it.
You whined into his mouth, protesting to the wait he’s putting you through, hips unintentionally rolling down over his crotch in the process, almost folding when you felt him twitch at the gesture. Rafe hissed at the contact, swiftly pressing your hips down in place, the hardon in his pants not being much of help. 
“Don’t fucking do that.” He grunted, lips ghosting over yours. “God, you’re killing me.” 
“Rafeee,” you cooed, throwing your head back with the intent of arching your back, panties now soaked with your juices. “Feels s’ good.” 
“You’re a mess.” Rafe teased, stifling out a laugh. He purposely halted, testing your limits, and how far you can go without crumbling in his hold. “So desperate for me, aren’t you?.” 
“Fucking do something.” Your nails dug to his shoulders with force, well aware your hold would bruise, already forming red marks with the touch. “Don’t jus’ tease me.” 
“You’re being a brat.” He chuckled with amusement, gaze landing on your cleavage, now half exposed from him groping the delicate flesh. “Thought you were a good girl, baby.” 
At that, your breath hitched, forehead leaning against Rafe’s when his fingers lightly traced over your breasts, the sensation like feathers to your skin. He licked a stripe of your tit, the warmth of his spit coating the outer shell of your boob. 
Rafe took your chest in his hold, action falling short as a knock suddenly erupted through the door, startling both of you out of your haze and despair. You instantly froze, pushing Rafe off to spare him a glance, almost as if to ask what the noise was. 
“Aye Rafe.” The familiar voice echoed through your ears, causing your heart to sink to the pit of your stomach. “Are you in there?” 
“That’s Ryan.” Rafe beat you to speaking, words stating the obvious. 
“No shit it’s Ryan.” You sarcastically whisper-yelled, “What is he doing here?” 
“I don’t know!” Rafe shrugged his shoulders. “I thought he was asleep.” 
Both of you turned with panic when the doorknob twisted back and fourth, indicating the latter was trying to open the door. “Aye come on, open up; I know you’re awake.” 
“Shit, we’re in trouble.” You nervously bit your lip, scrambling to get off his lap. Rafe fixed his shirt, adjusting his position to hide the hardon visible in his pants. “What do we do?” 
“Okay– shit, wait.” Rafe took a breath, observing the room with frustration. “I’ll hide in the closet, you open the door and shoo him away.” 
“It’s your room, dude.” Your face scrunched with disbelief, “I’m the one that should be hiding.” 
“No, yeah, right.” The latter nodded, pacing back and forth. “Where should you hide?” 
“Not the closet,” you shook your head, checking under the bed. “I’m claustrophobic.” 
“Under the bed?” Rafe suggested, eyeing the somewhat narrowed place, though it was slightly bigger than the said closet.
“Okay–” you winced as another thud erupted through the door, rushing to bend down, and slide under the bed. “Be fast, please.” 
Rafe nodded, flashing you a reassuring smile before fixing up the covers, vision now glistening with dimness. You perked up at the sound of the door creaking, groaning when Ryan’s footsteps practically shook the floor. He plopped himself on the bed, with Rafe hissing at the gesture, knowing your brother probably startled you with the action. 
And he did, but that wasn’t the point. 
“What are you doing here?” Rafe asked, sprawling himself next to Ryan. 
“I got some yayo,” Ryan whispered with a chuckle, probably already high by the tone of his voice. “Figured we could smoke it together.” 
“At one past midnight?” Rafe argued. 
“So what?” Ryan shrugged, ruffling his hand in the plastic bag he spread out on the bed. “You’re actin’ as if we’ve never done it before, this is not– wait, what?” 
Rafe paused before responding, face turning pale. “What?” 
“Is that Bug’s phone?” Ryan questioned, smile fading off his lips. “What is my sister’s phone doing in your room?”
Shit, your phone.
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a/n all support is v much appreciated!! i honestly have no idea how i got this out bye literally stress wrote almost the whole thing and im surviving off three hours of sleep mind you for the past two days AND i also finished most of this on the plane so feel special... i cherish my plane rides but i put you guys first since ily 😣 that being said i spent the past like eight hours finishing it up HELP yeah sorry to disappoint mama tried her best 💔 nsfw part is not detailed on purpose i want to put my badussy for their first time yeah (it wont be explicit dw) 💪💪
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beloveds-embrace · 2 months ago
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Dukedom au masterlist (yes i need to update it ik) and we will not talk abt the abrupt ending 😭
The grand ballroom of glittered with the light of a thousand candles, their flames dancing across marble floors and golden fixtures hung from the ceilings. A symphony played softly in the background, a perfect complement to the hum of ongoing conversation and chatter. You stood at the center of it all, draped in a gown of midnight blue silk, embroidered with silver thread that mirrored the stars. A gift from Simon, one that had you staring at the beautiful dress in awe.
Tonight, you were the very image of grace and poise.
Your face and movements are calm and collected, hiding what you truly feel beneath. Lately, whispers of dishonor had begun circulating; rumors that your husband had fled a border skirmish back when he’d been deployed, abandoning his men, yet had paid for the matter to be buried. Vile lies, born of cowardice and malice. John’s name, his reputation, and the honor of your house were at stake; disloyalty towards the empire was seen as treason, and that was unforgivable.
You would not allow it.
The first spark of rage had ignited the moment you’d overheard the vile accusations from another lady, one of your more arrogant rivals who had laughed snidely. From there, the rumors spread like wildfire, poisoning the halls of the court and society.
But you were no stranger to such games like these. Tonight, after much planning, you’ll put an end to this farce.
You began with your loyal ladies-in-waiting. Each one owed their position to you, and in return, they offered their unwavering loyalty. “Listen carefully,” you instructed them during a private meeting in your sitting room, the door locked behind you. “Go into the court, the markets, the salons- anywhere whispers thrive. I want names, places, and patterns. Who speaks these lies, and who listens too closely?”
They curtsied and departed without hesitation, melting into the bustling world outside of the manor. Meanwhile, you turned your attention to your maids and house staff. Servants were the lifeblood of any noble house, privy to secrets thought hidden.
You met with them personally with Kyle’s help, ensuring they understood the stakes. “Speak subtly,” you said, your voice calm but firm. “Let it slip that those who spread these rumors do so for their own gain, that there’s no substance to the rumors. Plant doubt. Create cracks.”
“As you wish, my lady.” Kyle nods his head, hands on your waist. He leans down, and kisses your forehead, and you smile all sweet and pretty at him. “Whatever you want.”
While you wove your network of spies, John watched quietly from the shadows of the manor. Though he trusted you implicitly, he couldn’t help but feel a mixture of awe and unease. He didn’t want to doubt you, but he worried nonetheless for you.
In his study, he sat with Kyle.
“How’s she faring?” John asked, puffing a cigar as he leaned back in his chair. Papers were scattered on his desk, though they didn’t require immediate attention or replies. Pressed close to Kyle, bodies warm, he didn’t want to go back to working for now.
Kyle hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “She’s… efficient, John. The staff is utterly devoted to her even without my help. I’ve seen no signs of hesitation in her plans.”
John chuckled dryly, though there was a flicker of appreciation in his eyes. “I am not surprised. She’s scarier than any battlefield, Kyle. And they love her.”
With the groundwork laid, you began preparing to host a big gala at the manor. Invitations were sent far and wide, carrying the promise of exquisite dining, captivating entertainment, and the opportunity to curry favor with one of the most powerful families in the region.
None dared refuse.
Johnny worked tirelessly to ensure every detail of the menu was flawless, and though he would have helped anyways, he still enjoyed all the kisses he got as reward from yoh. “You’re pilin’ it on thick, Duchess,” he remarked one evening, wiping his brow as he inspected a rack of lamb. “Even for you.”
“This isn’t just a party, Johnny,” you replied, humming. “This is war.”
“War it is, then. Anything for you, bonnie.” he muttered, diving back into his work with renewed determination. After a very heated look from you that had him preening, though; he looked handsome in his element. And you’ll make sure to really show him your appreciation for all his hard work later, in the privacy of your rooms.
At every other gala and gathering, you moved through the crowd like a dancer with a purpose. You guided conversations subtly, planting seeds of doubt and faltering those who tried to be a bit too brave- and your reputation as a “people’s princess” helped so greatly. Your allies- the few you trusted among the nobility-played their roles perfectly.
Simon, especially. You had specifically asked for his help, curled warm and cozy on his lap one night. He’d kissed you breathless and told you he would always be there for you.
“Lord Marcan, was it?” Simon mused during one party, his glass of whiskey balanced effortlessly in his hand. The others immediately listen to him; though he isn’t the most talkative noble, his words carry weight. “I’ve heard some interesting things about him. Did you know he’s deeply in debt? I wonder how far a man would go to escape ruin.”
The other nobles exchanged glances, uncertainty flickering across their faces. You watched from a distance, satisfied as Simon delivered the blow with effortless charm.
Your web was nearly complete, each thread pulling tighter around Lord Marcan- the instigator of the rumors- until he had no room to maneuver. At the final ball of the season, the one hosted by you and John, you made your final move.
You descended the grand staircase as the guests gathered, your presence commanding attention. At your signal, the servants unveiled a surprise: a performance of actors reenacting a scene from an old skirmish. But this was no ordinary play; it was a dramatized retelling of that battle, one that highlighted John’s bravery and leadership even when Lord Marcan had tried to say John had fled that day.
The crowd was entranced, all earlier doubts finally wavering and shattering. You saw Marcan shift uncomfortably, his face pale as his lies unraveled before him and eyes turned towards him in disgust.
From the balcony above, John watched with Simon and Kyle at his side. “She’s terrifying.” he murmured, though his voice carried a note of awe.
Simon smirked. “You married a bloody tactician.”
Kyle simply nodded. “She fights for you, for us, John. And she wins.”
By the end of the evening, Lord Marcan was a broken man and his wife, Lady Marcan who had laughed at you by the rumor, was seething. Their allies abandoned them, their name tarnished by his cowardice and deceit and her aftions.
And the rumors about John’s supposed abandonment of his men? Gone.
That night, as you removed your jewelry in the quiet of your chambers, John approached you. His hands rested on your bare shoulders, his touch warm and grounding.
“You’ve been busy, beloved.” he said, his voice soft but laced with admiration.
“I did what needed to be done.” you replied, meeting his gaze in the mirror. “I know you could have simply challenged him to a duel… but we didn’t have full confirmation it was him who started. I had to do it this way.”
He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You’re terrifying, love. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
From the shadows of the room, Simon leaned casually against the doorframe. “She’s not wrong, John. Best keep on her good side.”
Johnny’s voice echoed from the hallway as he came by with a tray of food. Kyle comes as well, carrying glasses of wine. “Aye, and keep feeding her. Keeps her from plotting.”
Kyle sighs, though he has a smile on his face as he sets the glasses down and instead comes to help you. “…he isn’t exactly wrong. You were incredible…. And scary.”
“Perfect, in other words.” John hums, an eyebrow raising. You do not have enough time to ask anything before he and Kyle are gently turning you around on the seat, face to face with John who kneels down. “You’ve worked so hard for me, for us, my Duchess. Let me take care of you now, hm?”
“John…“
“No more words, my love,” he shakes his head, Kyle’s hands reaching to unlace your dress, your corset, until your breasts spill out. John doesn’t even seem mildly bothered by the layers of your skirt, flipping them up until you are indecent in front of your men and he is face to face with your panties. The way they look at you, so much want…
You don’t mind. The slick spot forming speaks more than enough anyways.
“Tonight,” John murmurs, kissing your inner thighs. “Will be all about spoiling you, wife.”
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ireverie · 15 days ago
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indulgence
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pairing ↠ serial killer!sunghoon x (f) professor!reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, graphic depictions of murder, graphic depictions of violence, noncon, mentions of pregnancy, sunghoon is 43 (set in 2023)
summary ↠ you're an accomplished detective in the detroit area and park sunghoon is a prolific serial killer. when your department sends you on its behalf to pull back his layers, you attempt to convince sunghoon to recount his experiences and unravel the mystery once and for all.
wc ↠ 10.3k
a/n ↠ originally posted on my blog revehae, i am not plagiarizing myself. sunghoon’s american for the plot. part 3/3 of the in my blood series. as always, feedback is appreciated!
don’t like it, don’t read.
the deepest prick of unease settled through you and you shuddered from its nipping cold. 
killers were your forte, but none like this. never in your life had you ever met a killer who’d been at their craft for over a decade. they typically got sloppy after the first half, which insinuated that this sunghoon park guy, whoever he was, was far from an ameteur. 
“gate twelve,” came the guard’s voice, speaking into a transmitter. he was to escort you to sunghoon’s holding room.
the gate lifted. behind it, you clocked the riveting face of detroit’s worst nightmare, hands cuffed at his back as he sat facing you. there was a sort of twisted grin on his face, not as if he was excited to have a visitor, but excited his visitor had been you.
“good luck with this guy. officers tried to get him to budge. he didn’t take the fifth, but the bastard’s damn good at talking in circles,” the guard whispered in your ear.
“duly noted,” you replied quietly, stepping further and taking the seat across from sunghoon. 
the guard left you to your devices, shutting the door behind you and leaving through the passage that led to the gate. complete and total privacy was the only way sunghoon agreed to talk. your department initially refused, insisting there should at least be one or two other officers monitoring the interview, but you let him have his way.
if you wanted to get this man to talk, that was your only option.
“hello, sunghoon. i’m detective ___ from the detroit police department,” you introduced yourself coolly, cloaking your nerves with confidence. never would you show a guy like this any fear.
sunghoon hadn’t stopped grinning since he made eye contact with you. you’d seen pictures at most and he was devilishly handsome, even more so in person, but it didn’t compensate for his unsettling aura. “that’s a beautiful name, detective.”
“flattery will get you nowhere, park.”
“it’s gotten me here,” sunghoon quipped. 
“yes, it has. and i suppose you already know why i’m here.”
“yes, i do,” sunghoon said, pleasant thus far. “you want me to tell you about the murders.”
you bobbed your head. “i do. you see, you’re an enigma to me, sunghoon. you turn yourself in, get fingerprinted, and all of the sudden our datsbase’s going off because your prints are connected to three other crimes over the past twenty-five years.”
sunghoon feigned surprise. “wow, it’s been that long?”
“it has,” you replied, in spite of knowing he couldn’t have not been aware. “martina mortes in 1998, sabrina lee in 2005, christine dalton in 2013, and dr. lee this year.”
sunghoon leaned back in his chair. “i’m familiar with those names.”
“you should be. you sexually assaulted and murdered these women,” you spat, none too tender. “except for martina mortes. you only strangled her. do you want to tell me why that it is?”
“what’s the weather like today? i haven’t been outside, but summer has been kind to detroit.”
ignoring him, you persisted, “let me guess. she was your first victim and that kill, unlike the others, was spontaneous. her being dead defeated the purpose of the sex act, didn’t it?”
“well, do you like your partners warm or cold, detective?” sunghoon asked, deflecting. 
you were heeding the guard’s warning. it seemed this guy liked to answer questions with questions, your least favorite type of offender. “that’s why when you subsequently added the sex act to part of your crimes, you kept your victims much longer, because you like to see them suffer. until you got bored. then, you killed them and dumped their bodies like trash.”
as if he was disinterested, sunghoon glanced to the side and yawned. 
the audacity on this guy was astounding. “am i boring you, park?”
sunghoon replied with total indifference, “if you think you know everything, then why are we here?”
you answered without hesitation, “because i think you’ve wanted to tell someone about what you’ve done for a long time, sunghoon. but you realize that you’re not like other people. i’m giving you the opportunity to get it all off of your chest.”
sunghoon cocked his head to the side, as if he was contemplating your offer. his face was borderline inscrutable. it was difficult, if not impossible, to decipher what he was thinking.
you restrained from heaving a breath. there was a crushing weight on your shoulders, the expectation to get this guy to crack. if you couldn’t do it, nobody would - ever. “how many victims do you have?”
“four.” sunghoon’s answer was quick, automatic. like he didn’t even have to think about it for a second.
folding your arms on the table, you shook your head. “no, i just don’t think that’s true. see, we’re pretty sure martina mortes, your high school girlfriend, was your first victim, and the college professor was your last.”
sunghoon cocked a brow. “but?”
“but there’s no way someone like you could’ve resisted your urges between four kills over the past two decades and then some.”
there was no point in denying the four victims, because you already had substantial proof. nor did sunghoon deny that martina was his first victim, because given the decomposition of the bodies, she died long before the other three. admitting that she wasn’t would be admitting that there were unfound others.
and sunghoon had no intention of implicating himself more than he already had. the only reason he turned himself in was because he didn’t want to prolong the inevitable, for whatever reason. he pulled his lips into a mock frown. “your assumptions about my self-restraint are hurtful,” he replied.
whatever, moron, you thought irritability. “i think they’re more than just assumptions.”
sunghoon teased, “then, let me know when you know something.”
you narrowed your eyes, groaning, “oh, come on. i know and you know that you can’t ignore your desires for a month, let alone over ten years. you have a compulsion. killing makes you feel powerful, it makes you feel in control, and you can’t live without the high it gives you.”
“you make me sound like an addict,” sunghoon remarked, pretending to be offended.
“it wouldn’t be so far from the truth,” you said, glancing over the file at your end of the table. “the first two kills were seven years apart. the second two kills were ten. full offense, i don’t see how you could control yourself for so long.”
“you can believe what you want, detective. i didn’t kill anyone else,” sunghoon lied, not that you ever needed to know. 
of course, he couldn’t control himself. the second he took someone’s life, it became a part of him, and his purpose in this world became clear to him. for the first time in his life, he felt as if he had something that made living worthwhile.
you surrendered. it was obvious sunghoon was intelligent and he wouldn’t be easily tricked into confessing. “okay, fine. let’s talk about the victims we know of. tell me about martina mortes.”
“what is there to tell?” sunghoon asked, brow cocked. “we met in junior high. then, in eleventh grade, we got together.”
“tell me about why you killed her,” you insisted, painfully curious. “it happened in chicago, before you moved to detroit over the summer. you killed her in the heat of the moment.”
sunghoon gave the impression that he would take a minute to crack, so you were surprised when he said in response to your prodding, “we got into a wrangle, if you will.”
that much was obvious. “what kind of wrangle?”
the garage was hot and the air was stuffy, making it difficult to breathe. to say nothing of the frustration scorching sunghoon’s skin, his face tensed into an irritated glower.
there was something about women he never liked, the seemingly inherent ability to blow almost anything out of proportion, as exhibited now as his girlfriend screamed in his face. his stepmother was the same, never not coming up with a reason to fuss at him. he was always walking on eggshells around that woman. 
martina was bristling. “you always fucking do this, sunghoon.”
sunghoon heaved a breath, sighing, “what - what do i always do, martina?”
“you trivialize everything i go through. you make me feel like i’m overreacting when i’m not, you just refuse to hold yourself accountable,” she spat. 
“martina, we’re about to go to college, for fuck’s sake! you can’t focus on your academics and a goddamn child. i don’t get why you won’t just have an abortion and call it a day,” sunghoon roared, heating up a thousand degrees.
“god, do you listen to a word that comes out of my mouth? my parents will kill me, sunghoon. if not for being pregnant at eighteen, then for killing it.”
sunghoon sighed. “i don’t see the part where that’s my problem.”
tears blurred martina’s eyes. she came up to him, shattered by his carelessness and embraced by isolation, and bellowed, “you want to know what your problem is? your problem is that you’re an incompetent bastard with no regard for other people!”
sunghoon’s body was engulfed in flames but his shoulders were cold, and he lost control of his emotions, grabbing martina by the throat. he effortlessly lifted her with a single hand and smashed her against the closest wall none too gently, watching her eyes wince closed.
“you wanna say that again?” sunghoon asked, nothing short of belligerent.
ache spread out through the back of martina’s head, a ceaseless throbbing worse than any hungover. her feet dangled off of the ground, waving and kicking, fingers weakly prying at the ones pressing down on her windpipe. until she was completely still, legs dropping, hands going limp at her sides.
“i didn’t even realize how long i spent standing there, until she felt… empty, and i knew she was gone,” sunghoon confessed, but his tone was far from sympathetic. “she scratched me. you know, when she was trying to pry my hands off. i didn’t know until hours later.”
you shook your head, disdainful. “you killed your pregnant girlfriend?”
sunghoon groaned, “oh, please. i was eighteen. i would’ve been a terrible father.”
“i would be slightly more inclined to accept that as an excuse if it weren’t for the fact that you had a son by sabrina lee only two years later,” you said viciously.
“a lot can change in two years.”
“i’m sure it did.” your eyes flickered over the file again, but nothing would allow you to familiarize yourself with this killer more than talking to him yourself. “for example, you realized just how much you liked killing.”
if sunghoon could’ve raised his hands, he would’ve. “your words, not mine.”
you leaned over the table, unrelenting. “tell me about it, sunghoon. how did it feel when you strangled her with your bare hands? what was it like?”
sunghoon chuckled. “is that what you wanna hear?”
you nodded. 
sunghoon leaned in too, getting closer to you, and whispered in your ear, “i squeezed every last breath out of her, one by one, until there was nothing left for her brain and she went slack in my arms. and when i was done, i felt elated. i felt free. it woke up this dormant sensation inside of me that i swore to never repress again, because it made me feel alive.”
your lungs started to feel shallower, like no breath could reach the bottom, and you sensed your heart come to a halt for a minute. sunghoon pulled back, grinning from ear to ear, as if he was proud of himself. 
“detective, did i startle you?” sunghoon asked, tilting his head ever so slightly. 
your face hardened. “why would you ever think that?”
“you’re not as good at feigning indifference as you think you are, detective. full offense,” he mimicked, mocking.
he’s just a fragile man that kills women to make him feel better about himself, because he needs to be in control. don’t give him power over you. that’s what he wants, you said to yourself, shutting any and all other thoughts. “so, you killed martina, nobody could connect her disappearance to you, and by the time they discovered her body you were already studying for college two states over.”
sunghoon ignored you, at least for a little. he was taking a liking to making you feel uneasy around him. “has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are?” he asked out of nowhere.
“you aren’t my type. i don’t fool around with serial killers,” you replied sharply.
sunghoon didn’t seem to be offended, but you didn’t expect him to. “really now? it feels like we’re on a date right now. after all, we are getting to know each other.”
you asked, “have you always had such a distorted perception of normal human interaction?”
sunghoon shot with no hesitation, “have you always had such a sharp mouth?”
you pulled yourself together. the only way you would get anywhere with this guy was by establishing that you were the one in control. “okay, enough. this is my interview, park. you answer my questions, not vice versa.”
“that’s not any fair,” sunghoon told you, that unnerving smile still on his lips. “i don’t have to tell you anything, you know. and without me, you lose the only key to those answers you want so badly.”
“you shutting up doesn’t make much of a difference, considering you’re already dodging my questions,” you replied.
“let’s play a game,” sunghoon suggested.
you weren’t in the mood for any games, but that was sunghoon’s method of operation. “i don’t like games.”
“you’ll like this one,” sunghoon insisted, laughing. “twenty questions.”
your shoulders dropped. “am i supposed to be guessing something?”
sunghoon shook his head, something sinister about him. “no, it’s much easier than that. we take turns asking each other questions until i’ve answered ten and you’ve unanswered ten.”
you stared into his eyes, willing yourself not to break contact. he was just as relentless, silently cocking a brow at you, as if to challenge. and you weren’t an idiot. that’s exactly what it was. you asserted, “i go first, you can only ask me yes or no questions, and if i don’t like your final answer i get to press you for another.”
sunghoon slightly lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “yes, ma’am.”
“okay,” you started. “what made you move from illinois to michigan?”
“i was kicked out of the house. didn’t have anywhere else to go. but i had a buddy here whose family took me in,” sunghoon answered frankly.
you pondered those words, wondering if his aforementioned buddy knew about his secret indulgences. or if he asked why sunghoon’s parents kicked him out of their home. it would’ve been the question scratching at your mind, itching to be answered.
sunghoon’s lips parted. “what kind of perfume are you wearing - honey lavender?”
“yes,” you said, focusing your attention on anything but the possibilities of how he could’ve known that. he’d been with so many people to the point where he just knew. “why did you get kicked out of the house?”
“my dad always thought there was something different about me, ever since i was a child. he was a nasty piece of work. he found my journal, read a couple of things i wrote, and decided there was no hope for me in the house,” sunghoon ranted.
that piqued your curiosity. “what did you write about?”
“wait your turn,” sunghoon sang. “your hair smells just as lovely as the rest of you. do you match scents all the time?”
you were mildly uncomfortable, but given the type of dude he was, you stifled it. “yes. you don’t have to be such a pervert all the time, you know?”
again, sunghoon rolled his shoulders, chirping, “you call it perverse. i call it amusing.”
you almost cursed under your breath when you realize you’d asked him a question. “wait, i didn’t mean to ask…”
sunghoon cut you off, “that’s too bad. it’s my turn again. do you like necklaces?”
“not ones made out of fingers,” you retorted. it was meant to be a joke to hide how unsettled you were, hyper aware of the necklace dangling around your neck. you could feel invisible pressure on your throat.
sunghoon snickered. “i’ll admit that was funny.”
you pressed, “what did you write about in the journal?”
“my dreams,” he admitted vaguely, though in reality, he wrote endlessly about his corrupt fantasies of abusing women. some pages were about his stepsister, and there was a few about what he’d done to martina, though not explicitly. “you have the most beautiful eyes. they’re the perfect shade.”
you were certain he had told many other girls those same words and were not flattered in the slightest. the glare you were giving him was ferocious. “i’m not sure if there’s a question in there somewhere.”
“do you think your eyes are pretty?”
“i haven’t really thought about it,” you told him, quick to change the topic. you’d encountered your fair share of stranglers and it was no secret why he was so interested in your eyes. “was your relationship with your father estranged?”
“nothing was enough for that man. i had the top grades in my class and the highest gpa, and he took my door off its hinges and seized my privacy,” sunghoon told you, words harsh, but his tone plain. “he was obsessed with being the perfect family, something that was ruined the second my mother destroyed everything, and rather than embrace me, he turned me away.���
your eyes flickered. there was something about his language that stood out to you. courtesy of the research you’d done on him beforehand, you were aware that his father was divorced then remarried his stepmother, who already had a daughter sunghoon’s age. but rather than describe his parent’s separation as a divorce, he said his mother destroyed everything.
what a hostile view towards women, you mused, repulsed. but given the nature of his crimes, it adds up. and it might’ve been the origin of his hatred.
his family was twisted. you couldn’t fathom how his father, aware of just how unwell his son was, clocked his abusive fantasies towards women, and instead of getting him the help he needed, he left him to his own devices to slaughter them as he pleased.
you blinked when sunghoon leaned, craning his face towards yours, and snapped out of your reverie when you jolted back. 
“there you are,” sunghoon said, chuckling at your surprise. it was all over your face. “i’ve been talking to myself all this time. you must’ve been thinking about me.”
“no, not really. i was wondering if i forgot to feed my dog last night.” it was an obvious lie, but you would never encourage this guy to feel more important than he was.
amusement gleamed in sunghoon’s eyes. he was having a wonderful time, truth be told. had you not been so pretty, he would’ve clamped up like a crab, but you were so pleasing to the eye that he didn’t mind confessing a couple of truths. “a dog. that’s interesting. i myself have always wanted a pet - a snake. the constricting kind are my favorite.”
“you don’t say,” you droned, voice dripping with crisp irony.
your sarcasm was chucklesome to sunghoon, but his words were the truth. he remembered, all those years ago, asking his father for a pet snake. and when he refused, sunghoon, in turn, killed the family dog. he added, “they don’t just suffocate their prey. they coil around them, almost like a straitjacket, and cut off its blood supply.”
you replied, “yeah, but animals hunt to survive. you hunted because you had nothing better to do with your life.”
“in my humble opinion, we’re all animals of nature, and creatures of sin,” sunghoon told you in a whisper, as if he were telling you a secret of some kind. “anyways, it’s my turn now.”
you resisted a disgruntled exhale. 
like his questions couldn’t get any more absurd and strangely perverse, sunghoon asked, “when you shower, what do you use - a washcloth or a loofah?”
“that’s not a yes or no question,” you replied with total disinterest. 
“it’s hardly any less simple.”
“a washcloth,” you replied, though only because you needed to ask him your questions and resisting an answer would only waste valuable time. “why did you wait so long before killing sabrina lee?”
sunghoon smiled at the mention of his son’s mother, but the grin on his lips was distinguishable from the others. like he didn’t even realize he was smiling. “she was special. i loved her.”
“no, you didn’t. you don’t hurt people that you love.”
“maybe that’s true for you, but you’ve called me everything but a child of god and it’s clear you don’t think you and i are alike,” sunghoon said. “i don’t miss her, though, because she left a better print on this world. a world that was never made for her in the first place.”
a better print on this world. your brows furrowed, until you remembered the child they shared together. “you know what i think? i think whatever you felt for your son’s mother was the closest thing to love you’ll ever be able to pull from your ugly black heart.”
“you’re very strongly opinionated,” sunghoon responded, ever so unbothered. maybe some decades ago, it would’ve irked him to the point of breaking, but he was much more in charge of his impulses now.
you lifted your shoulders, gazing at him with the most discerning of eyes. all he could think about was how nice it would’ve been to seize you by the throat and watch the light dull from them.
to your surprise, sunghoon’s next question was not as a deviant as you assumed it would be, asking, “what made you decide you wanted to become a detective?”
“because of the people i used to know that aren’t around to tell you why,” you answered distantly, before pressing, “how was sabrina different, sunghoon?”
sunghoon perched over the table again, an uncomfortable distance close to you, made worse by his whispers. “because unlike the others, she didn’t beg me to stop - she begged me to finish. for it to be over. and when i wouldn’t, she begged me to kill her.”
the mental picture you got was cruel. your heart hurt for these women that had no idea what hit them until it was too late. 
“i put these women out of their misery,” sunghoon continued. 
you spat in a heartbeat, “the misery that you forced them to endure.”
sunghoon winced. “no, these women were miserable long before they met me. they were just ignorant of it. impressionability is a weakness.”
“either you have one hell of a god complex or you are working overtime to justify your sick actions.”
sunghoon merely shrugged, vicious and ominous and everything in between. there was something so dark about his spirit. you could feel it just from sitting within a couple of feet of him. 
sunghoon’s memories were triggered. he was reminiscing about the times he shared with his son’s mother, how perfect she was. there were no other women like her. she was his favorite victim, someone he took his sweet time with, while the others were disposed of in a few months time. 
midnight loomed, riding on the tail of dusk. sunghoon was counting down the minutes until the clock struck twelve, a self-imposed rule to gauge his willpower. the second the hour came, he bolted from the crackling sound of the cabin’s fireplace to a bedroom, anticipation like a stimulant.
the wooden floorboards creaked the closer sunghoon crept to the door. save for himself and the woman chained to the bedpost, the cabin was void of life. it belonged to the parents of a close friend who ensured it was vacant whenever sunghoon needed a place to indulge his twisted fantasies.
which was basically all of the time.
he meandered inside with a crisp bottle of water in hand, droplets condensing at its sides. sabrina laid right where he left her, just as broken, dreading her next breath. tape adhered to the flesh over her mouth, muffling her whimpers. there was nobody around for miles, the cabin was totally isolated, but it was a safety measure.
the chains were used likewise. when sunghoon was not there, the restraints kept her prisoner. sunghoon, reckless as he could be back then, was many things and stupid was not one of them. the chains stretched long enough to reach the bathroom but no further and he had his loyal friend help him test it after each victim.
“can you go further?” sunghoon called out.
heeseung’s lower limbs were shackled, ceasing his footsteps just shy of the hallway as he came to a total standstill. “not if i want my legs to follow me,” he’d retorted.
sunghoon had snickered. “good.”
had sunghoon been there, though, he would take the chains off. none of this was fair, even sunghoon didn’t believe that, but not giving them the chance to fight was too unfair. he needed not to chain them when he had the gift of his big, burly arms.
sunghoon waltzed over with a lighthearted and carefree gait, as if this was just another wednesday afternoon to him. and in some sick, despicable way, that wasn’t too far from the truth. he ripped the tape from sabrina’s lips, watching her face tense with pain.
“sunghoon,” sabrina rasped, voice croaking. he could tell from her flushed face and misty eyes that she’d been crying. “i’m thirsty.”
sunghoon cocked a brow, glancing to his hand. he had an irritating knack for playing dumb. it used to be endearing. now, with everything she knew to be true torn from her bare hands, sabrina didn’t know what to think. “what - you want this?”
sabrina nodded.
“yeah?” he popped off the top, throwing back a few gulps just before releasing a satisfied, “ah.”
sabrina’s lips trembled. “please.”
had she been anybody else, sunghoon probably would’ve dangled the water in her face just to snatch it away, but there was something about sabrina that made him gravitate towards her. in a rare moment of benevolence, sunghoon handed her the water, letting her drink.
she didn’t drink in short sips, but in giant gulps as if she’d known for some time that they’d be her last. when her thirst was satiated, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, handing the bottle back, and whispered, “thank you.”
sunghoon set the drink aside before returning to her, unshackling her limbs. sabrina’s breath quickened the moment the chains clacked harshly against the floor and nearly stilled when he brought his hand to her flushed face, tracing her chapped lips with a calloused thumb.
his thoughts rushed with unbridled exhilaration, ablaze with suspense, but he slowed for a moment to marvel at her loveliness. sunghoon’s hand touched her hair, touch tender in ways it would never be again, because he would never again know a woman as great as her.
he brought his lips to her ear, nibbling at the shell before asking, “do you know what i want you to do?”
sabrina bobbed her head, starting to halfheartedly peel off her clothes without needing to be told. with so many days held prisoner in this hell hole, it became routine. like she’d already resigned herself to her fate and knew sunghoon getting his way was inevitable. he always got what he wanted.
to be frank, it came out of nowhere. she never saw this twisted side of him coming. all she knew was that she became suspicious of his lack of family presence and it was too late when she saw him for the monster that he was, and then she woke here.
it had to have been months ago, although sabrina couldn’t have been sure how many. everyday started to bleed into the static hopelessness of another. sometimes sunghoon wouldn’t show for days, leaving her to live antsily, dreading his unavoidable return. other times, he would spend a day or two in the cabin, fucking her into kingdom come. 
as if she couldn’t be any more faultless. sunghoon smirked. “smart girl,” he purred. he would never deny her wit, given that she’d caught onto him, but her lack of strength was her only vice.
sunghoon restlessly tossed his own shirt over his naked shoulder and came to step out of his boxers. there was mischief on his plush lips. he knew something sabrina only knew from the unkind churn of her gut.
the end was more than near. it loomed over her, relentless and remorseless, and all she could like it to was dark and leaden clouds in a somber sky. even then, there was almost nothing she wouldn’t give to see the world again, but she’d long kissed that hope goodbye.
“down,” sunghoon told her, tone dark and stern.
she pliantly did as told, bare back meeting the mattress. sunghoon crept over her, hard cock twitching at the sight of her so meek. typically, he liked when they put up a fight, but sabrina knew better.
sunghoon could tell she was fighting back tears, willing herself not to cry with a stabilized breath, but her endeavors were in vain the second he started to force his way inside her. they escaped her eyes and dampened her cheeks, unable to overlook the agony of the stretch. 
“shh, baby,” sunghoon crooned in her ear, the weight of his body bearing down onto hers. “what’s the matter? you used to beg me to fuck you.”
sabrina shook her head, silently pleading for a mercy she knew deep down that sunghoon wasn’t capable of. “please make it quick.”
sunghoon’s tone was almost sweet. “but baby, you told me you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, remember?” 
sunghoon knew that his words weren’t reassuring and he didn’t intend for them to be. there was a reason why he loved how she tried to hold herself together. he got to push her limits, find her breaking point. in the end, she would get her wish, and in a way, sunghoon thought that that was love.
her walls were just as tight and vice-like as they’d been all those times he’d taken her before. if sunghoon got close enough to her, let his hands wander and tease as they never not had done, sabrina would still involuntarily gush around his cock. like her body knew she was forever a slave to his touch. 
just looking at her face as she wept sent shock waves of pleasure rippling through his dick and chest. sabrina didn’t cry in noisy, gasping sobs. her tears dripped from her thick lashes quietly, mouth parting in the most silent of whimpers.
and she orgasmed the same way, sunghoon remembered. back when things were normal between them, when she begged for him to fuck her, as he called it, her release was marked by a volatile shudder, but a silent cry of ecstasy.
sunghoon pushed sabrina’s lips into an upward curling with his thumb and index finger. “smile for the camera, sabrina,” he whispered.
sabrina’s brows furrowed, painfully oblivious to the camera tracking her every emote. sunghoon couldn’t not document his deeds. there was something about being able to play them over, immersing himself back in that moment over and over, even when the life itself could not be so easily brought back.
but for sunghoon, they could be. when he rewatched these videos again and again, it was like he could feel their pulses thump in their neck, resuscitating.
sunghoon’s hands were everywhere, fingertips traipsing towards sabrina’s neck where marks lingered from all the times he’d strangled her, only to slacken his grip when she was just shy of passing out. the bruises were different colors, indicative of different healing stages. sabrina tensed, startled, and wondered when it would all be over.
“sunghoon.” sabrina was overcome with defeat. her voice cracked as she asked, “sunghoon, please just cum.”
sunghoon’s face tensed with pleasure. “fuck, babe, when you say it like that…”
he stood at the brink of climax, threatening to teeter over, and there was only one thing that could knock him over quicker than anything else. it wouldn’t be anything she said, anything she did, but only a weakness sunghoon had the power to wield against himself.
“you want me to finish?”
sabrina nodded. 
sunghoon chuckled darkly. “then, in that case, it’s time for you to get your wish, baby.”
he watched her shoulders slump, releasing all hope of ever knowing anything different again and accepting that this was where things ended. thinking about the feeling he remembered none too distantly, one that almost seemed to keep his blood pumping through him, in a way, sunghoon’s fingers itched.
sunghoon lifted his hands, bringing them to sabrina’s face, but before he could touch her, she exclaimed, “wait, sunghoon!”
his brow cocked. 
sabrina’s lips trembled. “can you tell me what today is? please?”
“wednesday,” sunghoon replied, holding his hands around her neck, but keeping his grip slack. for now.
“wednesday,” sabrina said, pulling her lips into the faintest of smiles as tears blurred her vision. “will you tell jake that i hope he has an amazing thursday?”
“that can be arranged,” sunghoon said, grinning.
sabrina nodded, setting her mind at ease. she’d already made peace with this day some months ago. she never knew when it come, but she saw it as something bound to happen. “thank you,” she whispered. 
those were her last words. because when sunghoon tightened his grip at her throat, almost like tightening a noose, he couldn’t bring himself to stop in spite of the agonized gleam in her stare. and then her stare was empty, and sunghoon had already emptied his load inside of her.
to describe the sensation he got from killing in a way that captured its essence would be impossible. it was more than feeling the life leave her. it was more than watching her eyes become soulless. it was a release, a way of relinquishing all of the vacantness he harbored, and knowing that his heart was still there.
it would always return, sometimes as soon as the next day, but for a minute, sunghoon was whole and no drug could replicate that kind of contentedness.
sunghoon did tell jake what sabrina said. he wasn’t all too sure why, maybe it was because she was his mother and jake was her son that they’d created together, and sunghoon would never have it any other way. for her to be the one to give him a child, he couldn’t imagine any other woman in her place.
it was almost unfortunate that she had to go so soon. even sunghoon thought that her demise was premature. had she not grown so suspicious of him, sunghoon could imagine making her his wife, maybe even spending the rest of his life with her.
their marriage wouldn’t have been without his secret dark life, but sabrina wouldn’t’ve been a victim. alas, loose ends needed to be tied. sunghoon couldn’t trust that she would’ve kept quiet, and even then, she was in a much more fitting place for an angel like herself.
there was much of this memory that would be abridged. never would sunghoon reveal anything about the cabin or the dear friend that helped him commit his indulgences, or even the existence of the tapes. if they found those videos, that was proof of murder with a grand total of 106 women.
the air around you was heavy and the words you’d just been fed weren’t easily take in. “what you’re just told me is really sad.”
but sunghoon didn’t look sad. whether or not he ever truly cared for sabrina would perpetually be a mystery. “maybe,” he started. “but tell me that you wouldn’t hurt the person you loved most if it was what was best for them.”
“i did. but what i had to do is different from what you were.”
sunghoon’s interest was piqued. “how come?”
“it was my responsibility to decide whether or not to take my sister off of the ventilator. there was no hope for her,” you confessed, though brushed over it quickly. “what happened to your ex-wife?”
“not that interesting of a story,” sunghoon said. “she wasn’t sabrina, i got tired of her, here we are.”
“and yet she wasn’t a one-off like martina mortes.”
“had she been a one-off, my body count would be one number higher. that was a favor,” sunghoon told you, grinning as if you actually had something to be grateful for.
you didn’t waste a second to accuse, “because you need to keep your victims to extract all the relief that you can from them, right?”
“i’m afraid it’s not your turn to ask questions,” sunghoon replied tauntingly. “what was your sister like - did she have long hair? what color were her eyes? how long were her lashes?”
sick son of a bitch, bellowed the voice in your head, though you willed yourself to remain composed. it was plain on his face that sunghoon didn’t want an answer - he wanted a reaction. and as furious as that made you, you couldn’t let him provoke you. “that’s none of your business,” you said, but there was a loophole. “but she was beloved.”
that qualified as an answer. sunghoon glanced at you in a way that made you feel see-through, as if he knew that you were threatening to come apart at the seams and didn’t buy your nonchalance for a minute. 
sated, he went on to feed you bullshit about his ex-wife’s death, though there were only four people who knew what truly happened to her and one of them was dead.
sunghoon remembered that day like it happened yesterday. it was a thursday evening when he’d come home from work. christine had picked jake up from school hours ago and sunghoon wholly expected to come home to her in the kitchen.
it was dark outside. the moon was a mere sliver and the stars were duller than they typically were, almost like they had witnessed something that drained their spirits. sunghoon remembered struggling to identify his house key, trying each of them until the door clicked open.
“i’m home,” sunghoon’s voice thundered as he turned to lock the door. 
there were quick footsteps from upstairs. jake, sunghoon thought, more than familiarized with the sound. but there was none of christine’s usual voice.
“dad, i’m hungry,” came jake’s voice from the stairs, coming down them one by one.
that in itself should’ve been suspicious, but instead, all sunghoon could think about was how sabrina would’ve already fed her son. “hasn’t christine made dinner by now?” sunghoon asked, irritated.
jake shook his head, though sunghoon couldn’t see. he was hanging his coat on the rack, like he always did after he locked the door. “she can’t right now.”
“why not?”
“because i think she’s dead,” jake replied, nonchalant as ever.
that was the very second that sunghoon turned around and noticed that jake was stained with blood. it was all over his face and the spots would probably never come out of his clothes, not that they would be kept.
for half a minute, sunghoon was genuinely stunned.
jake didn’t say what happened, and there was no need to. “the blood won’t come off,” was all he said, showing his father the pair of hands that he’d washed with vigor.
sunghoon heaved a breath. he should’ve seen this coming. jake took after his father and he never liked christine. to say the least, sunghoon couldn’t blame him. “where is she?”
“where they all go,” jake replied, as if it was the most normal and natural thing in the world to him. 
sunghoon headed for the basement with quick footsteps, jake following behind. if somebody were to come down there, they wouldn’t suspect a thing. not only was it decorated to look like one, but it was used as a man cave. behind a soundproof wall, though, was a dungeon for his prisoners. 
in this case, there was a trail of blood leading to the wall, proof that jake had somehow brought christine there after he hurt her. sunghoon entered the cell and saw her there behind the bars, coming to her side to check her pulse. 
pressing his thumb to her wrist and neck, sunghoon sensed a pulse, though it was weakening. “she’s not dead,” he said, wresting his phone out of his pocket.
jake didn’t look so relieved, but he didn’t voice his dissatisfaction. “are you mad?”
sunghoon glanced down at christine. jake had used a kitchen knife, attacking her in the heat of the moment. she was butchered and blood-splattered, on the verge of slaughter, and yet sunghoon couldn’t find it in him to offer any compassion. “that you hurt her? no. that you made a mess? a little.”
now that was a relief. to jake, at least back then, his dad was the coolest guy that he knew.
there was quite the scene in front of him and sunghoon didn’t have a thing for blood. he shook his head in reproach, chastising, “i’m going to teach you the right way to get rid of a woman when you’re sick of her.”
that piqued jake’s curiosity. 
sunghoon was quick to dial heeseung’s number. he had medical experience and that was what he needed right now. when the call connected, he said, “i’m in calling in a favor.”
heeseung patched her up again. at least for a few months, sunghoon still needed her breathing. they scrubbed the floors free of blood, burned jake’s bloodied clothes, and it was as if nothing ever happened.
what sunghoon had told you was only a fraction of the truth, but still enough to make you want to grimace. it bemused you how he got away with murdering his ex-wife and nobody thought to suspect her husband with a track record of disappearing partners.
“you want to know what’s really amazing?” you started, though it was more like disgusting. “how three of the women you’ve killed were your significant others, and somehow, you’ve only now been incriminated.”
sunghoon looked proud of himself. had it not been for jake, he probably would’ve never been caught. “sabrina never told anyone that we dated, or that she had a baby by me. her parents wanted her to focus on her education. if they knew she’d gotten pregnant, she would’ve been the black sheep.”
“and you took advantage of that,” you hissed. 
“so what if i did?” sunghoon asked, careless. “not to mention that dozens of teenage girls in chicago were going missing at the time. they added martina to that number and called it a day. is that sad? maybe. but that’s how it works.”
“and as for your co-worker?” you asked sharply. the boldness of his crimes astounded you. “her husband grieves her. were you having an affair?”
the thought of her made sunghoon chuckle. oh, were we, he reminisced. it was a misfortune that he didn’t get the chance to have his way with her the way that he wanted. and for that reason, he couldn’t regale you in a truthful account of her death.
what happened that day, the day his co-worker died, challenged his fate and was the reason that he only now knew the imprisonment he thrusted upon others.
sunghoon knew when he spotted her that he would revel in her vulnerability. married, but she hardly wore her ring. her kind was the most naive - the kind that believed ecstasy was without costly sin. one way or another, she had to reap what she sowed.
he worked his way inside her pants, but it was hardly any work; she was on a desperate pursuit for pleasure and when sunghoon promised it to her, offering content on a silver platter, she thought less with her brain and more with the throbbing between her legs.
for months, sunghoon slept with her, which was far from typical. if she were anybody else, sunghoon would have pursued her for a couple of weeks time, then banished her to the underground prison. though considering he already had a victim down there at the time, he had some time to spare.
it was no secret that she had grown fond of sunghoon in ways she hadn’t been of her husband in a very long time, and though sunghoon found her to be special, in a way, he could not reciprocate her feelings. when sunghoon saw her, all he felt was the overwhelming urge to use her with a lick of remorse, and squeeze those panting breaths out of her.
it was a shame that he never got the opportunity. sunghoon already tested the bounds of his self-restraint when it came to her, each of their encounters consensual with her oblivious to his deepest, darkest desires. sometimes, his fingers would wander to her neck, but even that was wanted.
what was not wanted was the tyranny over her body that preceded her death. it bemused sunghoon to learn that his son, along with two of his friends that he thought of like brothers and sunghoon thought of like sons, ravaged her to the brink of being unrecognizable.
had sunghoon held control over the situation, he wouldn’t have cared what happened to her and would have even permitted them to go to town. but what happened was somehow darker. when he got a call from the professor late that day, hearing her broken sobs over the phone, he told her to meet him at his house.
that was his first mistake. 
it wasn’t that she didn’t come. she made it there, hopeful to confide in sunghoon about the nightmare that tore her apart, but it was jake that opened the front door. and when she entered, there was no hope out of her coming out breathing.
jake had been a downward spiral ever since a month ago when he stumbled upon the tape of his mother. ever since he was a boy, jake watched every tape he could find of his father’s dark life, even sharing them with his friends as if they were movies and not snuff.
but this was not like those. this was his mother. and watching her suffer, listening to her final request before her untimely death, broke jake in ways which he would never recover.
jake had known since he was little that his mother was dead and his father was to blame, but his understanding of what happened to her was skewed. if he’d known eighteen years ago what he knew today, when sunghoon had his own son aid him in his mother’s demise, none of it would have ever happened.
to say nothing of the fact that what sunghoon had jake do was only a mere fraction of his mother’s suffering. jake would fetch things from the other side of the cabin he vaguely remembered visiting every now and then for three months. when he was not there, which was often, he would lie to his neighbors about her whereabouts.
even though when she died he was only a kid being taken advantage of, jake hated himself for letting it happen right under his nose. he wished he would’ve told his neighbors the truth. maybe if he had, his mother would still be alive and kicking, and he would know the only woman he ever cared for.
that was why he went after his professor that he knew his father had also been eyeing closely and having an affair with. her fate was obvious. sunghoon would entertain her for a while, somehow charm and woo his way into her pants like he did every other woman, kidnap her and keep her downstairs for three months, then kill her and identify the next victim.
but sunghoon’s liking of her was also hopelessly discernable. she was living too long. and that was a telltale sign that sunghoon took a special interest in his son’s professor, something that jake feared would rival the affection (if it existed) for his mother.
jake was not keen on having his mother replaced. the last time it happened, he snapped and maimed his stepmother. and he was not afraid of doing so again.
when jake exacted revenge, it felt like nothing he had ever done before. vengeance tasted like heaven. his professor tasted elysian. and he had never felt so good about himself, but then the high wore off, comparable to the fading release sunghoon got after strangling his victims, and familiar pain seared through him once further. 
vindictiveness was a lethal venom, festering quickly upon injection. after jake got what he wanted, there was a greed to replicate that feeling, in spite of the fact that nothing would compare to that first blow. in his own way, unlike his father’s but similar nonetheless, he was pivoting towards release.
jake was on the brink of something like psychosis when he heard those knocks on his front door. and when he peered outside, spotting the professor, his recklessness got the better of him.
she was dead before she even stepped inside the house. jake yanked her inside, brought her downstairs, and forced himself onto her for a second time that day. when she wept for sunghoon, wishing he would come home, jake almost pitied her naïveté.
if jake hadn’t killed her, wrapping his hands around her throat the way that he knew his father had been yearning to, sunghoon would have.
the look on his professor’s face was pitiful. “sorry,” jake said, though he clasped his hands around her throat harder. “but i have to make a statement.”
it was not particularly a difficult thing to do, at least not to stomach, but killing her was merely just a means to an end. he didn’t get off to it like his father would’ve, jake’s interest lay inflicting psychological damage, but he did it because he knew how much it pleasured sunghoon to squeeze the life out of his victims.
and if jake couldn’t have what he wanted, then as long as he lived, neither would his dad for tearing it away.
sunghoon came home moments too late. jake left his professor in the cellar for his father to find, eyes wide and face pale.
sunghoon glanced around. he saw her car parked outside, but no sign of her. when jake came from his bedroom on the upper floor, a creeping feeling of deja vu flooded sunghoon’s chest, but he asked, “where is she?”
jake’s face was expressionless. “she’s dead,” he replied, confident. “i mean it this time.”
sunghoon shook his head. “you killed her?”
“wasn’t it you that said you were going to teach me the proper way to dispose of a woman when i’m sick of her?” jake asked, approaching his father as he crept down the stairs.
though sunghoon wasn’t pleased, he willed himself to calm down. “did you strangle her?”
“yes.”
sunghoon figured, from the lack of blood staining his house this time around. “will you tell me about it?”
that caught jake off-guard. he expected his father to be angry, to let loose. he had to have been dreaming of choking her since the day he laid eyes on her. “you sick fuck,” jake sneered.
sunghoon snickered, unbothered. that’s rich. “who do you think you got it from?”
obviously, from the face jake was making, he didn’t like that. his nonchalant attitude dissipated. “i’m not like you!”
“keep telling yourself that. maybe one day you’ll delude yourself into believing it,” sunghoon replied, hanging his coat on the rack in spite of knowing he would be leaving again soon.
“i’m not like you - i mean that.”
sunghoon, miffed, rolled his eyes and said, “come on, son. you think i don’t know you and your friends have been watching my tapes for the past decade and then some like they’re cartoons?”
“but not mom’s,” jake spat, loathing fizzing in his stare. 
sunghoon froze, then spun around. “is that what this is all about?”
jake nodded, pleased his father was finally getting the picture. “i found it in your study. you hid it more carefully than the others, because she was special or you didn’t want me to find it, i don’t know.”
sunghoon heaved a breath. “you were never supposed to see that.”
“but i did,” jake replied. “and i’ve suffered every day for the past month because of that.”
sunghoon shot without hesitation, “a suffering you brought upon yourself. nobody asked you to go snooping around in my things.”
jake’s lips were twisted into the meanest snarl sunghoon had ever seen. emotion wrecked through him in its totality. “is that what’s important to you? i shouldn’t be surprised. you couldn’t even spare your own son’s mother from your heartlessness.”
sunghoon massaged his temple, summoning all of his willpower. “please,” he groaned, sensing an incoming headache. “women are weak, cheating whores. just look at your professor. maybe your mother wasn’t, but she was a liability.”
if that was supposed to console jake, it had the complete opposite effect. “are you saying she deserved it?”
“i’m saying that you’ve always been too soft,” sunghoon said, not bothering to sugarcoat his chastising. “just like your mother. even when you were a child. that’s why i had you help me, i hoped you would harden up a little.”
jake scoffed. “unbelievable.”
“your mother went quietly. she didn’t even fight it, jake. so, why are you?”
“because of that,” jake told him, vitriol in his voice. “she didn’t ask you to stop one time. she just asked you to get it over with.”
sunghoon tipped his head back. “ah, yes. she really was perfect, wasn’t she?”
that was all it took to kindle an unforgiving rage within jake and in a moment of fury, flickering through him in a flash, jake lifted his hand to smack his father.
sunghoon caught his wrist, as if this weren’t the first time this had happened and it was wholeheartedly expected. his voice lowered to a mere hiss, “i’ve never laid a hand on you. ever in your life. don’t make today be the day i start.”
jake glared, but wrested his way out of his father’s grip and backed away.
sunghoon smoothed down his shirt and headed for the kitchen, knowing jake would follow. this conversation was far from over. “now, if you excuse me, i have to clean up your mess,” he said, pulling a burner phone out of a drawer. “if you don’t mind.”
“i can clean up my own mess,” jake replied, scowling. 
setting the phone on the counter, sunghoon reached for a glass. “no, you can’t. not without digging your own grave. unless you want to go to prison, pack your shit, ask one of your buddies if you can stay with them for a few days, and take the tapes with you. hide them.”
jake made a face. “what are you talking about?”
sunghoon sighed. “we can’t get away with this one, son. her car’s parked outside. there’s too many loose ends.”
“we can get rid of the car. you don’t have to go to jail!” jake shouted.
“it’s either you or me. frankly, i’m doing you a favor. you wouldn’t last two seconds behind bars,” sunghoon hissed. he grabbed another glass, sliding it across the counter, then said, “now, wine? you know, to celebrate your old man going away? i believe that’s what you want.”
jake shook his head. never in his life had he been so conflicted. his father that he’d been so bent on despising until he the day he died was voluntarily confessing to a crime he didn’t commit, just so that his son wouldn’t have to suffer in prison.
“why are you doing this?” jake asked, bristling with emotion. 
sunghoon sighed. “because i love you, son. even if you don’t think so. and because your mother would be turning in her grave if she knew you were in prison.”
jake blew out a breath. then, after a moment of reluctance, he grabbed the glass on the counter and reached for the wine bottle. 
sunghoon snickered. “atta boy.”
“i wonder how your son reacted when he learned you were going to prison for murder,” you said, pondering. “you live in the same house. i wonder how he didn’t know.”
sunghoon lied, “he was at a friend’s house when i killed her. doesn’t like that it was his favorite professor.”
you nodded along, buying his lies. “that is a lot to take in. i mean, imagine your dad was having an affair with your favorite science professor. then, he kills her, like how he killed your mom.”
sunghoon shrugged his shoulders. “have you never heard the phrase ‘the heart wants what it wants?’”
“i have,” you replied. “and i guess your heart wanted to stop the function of others.”
sunghoon laughed at his own expense. “oh, please. you give me too much credit. you shouldn’t make me out to be more romantic than i am.”
you shook your head in disappointment. “you make these women want you, and then you undo everything. that has to be part of the amusement to you.”
“it gets a chuckle or two out of me.”
your lips were tempted to curl into a frown for the umpteenth time that day alone. “why?”
sunghoon leaned up in his chair, exclaiming, “because it’s fun!”
you were going to say something, but he didn’t give you the chance. 
sunghoon continued, “everyday, as adults, we do the same job for hours and come home. people want excitement in their lives. women get exhausted of coming home to their husbands or nobody at all.”
your stare was blank. “and your point is?”
“i didn’t just make those women want me, baby. i made them need me,” sunghoon told you smugly. “i brought a spark to their lives, and i took it away just as fast. and i do it… because i can.”
“because you could,” you corrected, confident he would never be free of this place for as long as he lived. “you’re going to be in here a very, very long time.”
sunghoon grinned. “i wouldn’t be so sure.”
you cocked your brow. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“wouldn’t you like to know?” sunghoon teased. you hated the smugness in his tone. like he knew something that you didn’t.
the door opened, and the guard from earlier returned. “i hate to interrupt, but it’s time for the count,” he said, coming behind sunghoon to undo his cuffs.
it all happened in a blink. sunghoon’s weight was pressed flush against yours, roughly thrusting you into the table. your body screamed, agony spreading through your side, but your gun was in a lockbox outside the room.
sunghoon knew from your conversations alone that you weren’t the type to go quietly. your first instinct was to fight back. naturally, you struggled against his hold, refusing to bend to his will even as panic shot through your chest. your whole body was on guard, aiming for survival.
but to your misfortune, your might was no match for sunghoon’s. you glanced to the guard for assistance, but when he only stood there as if he was waiting for it to end, the most unsettling feeling of realization washed over you.
“don’t fight him,” the guard said, arms crossed. “you won’t win.”
sunghoon snickered when he noticed your eyes widen in shock. you hadn’t seen that coming. though you tried to resist, it was over once his slender fingers came to your throat, and you genuinely feared for your life. 
you didn’t realize how good you had it just being able to breathe until you couldn’t anymore. your breaths wouldn’t come. it felt as if your bones were being crushed. your whole body was on fight mode, but it was like sunghoon had the reins, shutting down your senses one by one.
“you put up a good fight, detective,” sunghoon whispered darkly in your ear, admiring your struggle.
your lips parted, but you couldn’t speak no matter how hard you tried. your self-preservation instincts were no match against him. all you could do was meet sunghoon’s stare. the pressure on your neck was too much to handle, and in seconds, you were out.
“lights out,” sunghoon said. he released your throat, having no intention of killing you and leading you for dead, but knowing that you would likely regain consciousness in a matter of seconds, he grabbed you by the hair, smashing your head flat against the table to subdue you.
heeseung winced, but he did nothing to step in. “poor girl,” he mumbled under his breath, pitying you. “had enough?”
“for now,” sunghoon replied. “let’s go.”
heeseung gave sunghoon a uniform to wear so that he would blend in amongst the uniforms like heeseung had and when he was ready, the two of them fled before they could be deterred.
when they had successfully gotten away, heeseung asked with his hand on a steering wheel, “you know that i don’t agree with this, right?”
sunghoon snickered. it had absolutely been said. “you haven’t agreed with my lifestyle for the past twenty-five years, yet you still help me. why?”
heeseung frowned. sometimes, he asked himself the same question, but deep down inside, he knew the answer. “because we may not share blood, but we’re brothers,” heeseung replied. “and for my brother, i’ll do anything you need.”
sunghoon quipped, “like smuggle me across the border?”
“like smuggle you across the border,” heeseung said, chuckling. “when we get there, there’s gonna be this dude named sunoo. he’s gonna help you out. i’ll be in touch.”
sunghoon nodded. “i can’t thank you enough, man.”
“just lay low and stay out of trouble,” heeseung said, shaking his head. 
sunghoon grinned with mischief. he was already thinking about all of the beautiful women he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. “no promises,” he answered, sighing contentedly.
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champagnefountains · 1 year ago
Text
LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.
CHAPTER II - Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.
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Previous chapter: [x] Word Count: 3.4k+ words (unedited). Genre/other tags: Angst with some fluff. Jealousy. Fem pronouns used. Warnings: Swearing. Self-deprecation. Manipulation (on Alastor's part).
It had been nearly over a week since you and Lucifer last talked – it had also been a week since Lucifer was last seen around in the hotel. Angel, being the gossiper he was, relayed everything that had transpired between you two to the others the following day. Seeing the sensitive and sad shell of a person you were left in, everyone remained cautious and had started walking on eggshells around you. Of course, you were quick to pick up on that, as embarrassing as it all was (minus Alastor, who continued on with his usual theatrics and mischief). 
Charlie in particular was the most concerned out of them all, since this was her dad we were talking about. She knew with certainty that he was confining himself in the castle to distract himself from what happened – likely something involving his rubber-ducky obsession – instead of facing the problem head on. It was his pride that sometimes got in the way of his better judgement.
Not only that, but Charlie clearly saw the massive toll it took on you. If you weren’t distracting yourself with work or doing something related to the hotel, you would lock yourself away in your room, only coming out to quickly grab a bite to eat from the kitchen. Charlie even made efforts to strike many conversations with you from time to time, but was either excused or was only given one-worded responses. She knew not to take your dismissive behaviour to heart, but she couldn’t help but fret over you.  
So it came as an absolute surprise when out of nowhere, Charlie received a call from her father. She messily scrambled for her phone on her desk, fumbling and nearly dropping it in the process before violently tapping on the small screen. “H-Hello?! Dad, hey!” She answers a bit too enthusiastically while nervously combing her hair with a free hand. “Uh, hey Charlie!” Lucifer stiffly greets from the other line, “I just…um, thought I’d give a call to, uh, see how everyone’s going at the hotel!” The Princess noted how much hoarser his voice was than usual, but decided not to comment on it aloud. 
“Well, y’know how it is! It’s been busy and lively as always–everyone’s been working really hard and all,” she answers vaguely, nervously chuckling. “Err, yeah! Right. That’s a–that’s a relief to hear. Yep,” he hums. There was a brief, awkward pause that ensued soon after, the both of them not knowing what to say next. The whole exchange was becoming increasingly painful that Charlie resisted the urge to pull her hair. She then clears her throat. “H-How about you, dad? What’ve you been up to? You’ve been gone for a couple or so days,” Charlie finally musters, “are…are you doing alright?” 
“Me? Oh yeah, psh! I just got, erm…a lot of things going on at the moment. It’s not so easy being the big boss of hell after all! Got a lot of important things to do! Plus, I’ve got heaps of paperwork to do for the hotel. You should know how tedious that is,” He says, adding an exaggerated groan. 
The princess furrows her brows. “Oh, that’s…strange. ’Cause I could’ve sworn you left all the papers here…y’know, the ones you told me to revise over?” Charlie replies, side-eyeing the said documents stacked neatly on her desk. A startled yelp escapes his throat. “O-Oh...did I?” He stammers.
Charlie couldn’t help but wince at the evident panic that began to set in as she listened to her father make incomprehensible noises from the other line. It was a poor attempt in reasoning, which ultimately became useless in the end. Lucifer let out a long sigh, caught red-handed. “Oh, who the hell am I kidding? You guys probably already know what happened–which by the way, Charlie, you shouldn’t be lying to me about!” He pointedly remarks. 
“I-I’m sorry, dad! It’s just…I’m really worried about you,” she reasons, before shortly adding, “...The both of you.” 
There was a small pause. “...How is she, by the way?” He then asks quietly. Charlie nervously tugs her bottom lip with her fangs. “Well, she’s keeping herself busy. Constantly, as a matter of fact. And I know she’s trying hard to convince us all that she’s holding up okay, but…she doesn’t look too good, dad. She seems really upset.”
A shaky exhale sounded from his end. “I…I really am hopeless, aren’t I?” He mumbles defeatedly. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could picture him burying his face in his hands. The image caused Charlie’s eyes to soften. “Dad, no. It’s not too late. You still have a chance to make things right,” Charlie gently encourages through the speaker, “you just need to talk to each other–”
Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, a bright, blazing portal manifests from thin air – from it, emerges Lucifer himself who appeared extremely dishevelled, effectively catching Charlie off guard. 
“But, hun, y-you don’t understand! I messed up big time!” He exclaims, tugging on his unkempt hair as he aimlessly paced around her office. “I-I mean, look at me! I’m a fucking mess and a coward! Why would she ever think to take me back after what I did!?” He chuckles humourlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, “I-It’s like no matter how many times I try to redeem and convince myself that everything’s finally going right in my life, I just continue to fuck myself over and over again. And it’s just– ugh! It’s pathetic! I’m fucking pathetic!” 
Charlie’s chest tightened considerably as she watched her father self-destruct before her. Strands of his golden hair were sticking out here and there, his dress-shirt tousled, and his eyes were glossed over and red, from both a lack of sleep and crying. He looked utterly devastated. Chucking her phone away, she immediately sped towards and enveloped Lucifer in her arms, who immediately broke down into heavy sobs. Seeing him like this brought tears to her own eyes, but she firmly told herself to be the stronger person in this situation, for his sake. 
“Hey, hey. Dad, listen to me, okay? Everyone deserves a second chance. You of all people should know–you were the one who taught me that, remember?” Charlie rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the jumpiness of his shoulders. “And that also applies to you. I…I know you’ve been through a lot, especially with mum…” She couldn’t help the way her frown deepened as she spoke, “...and I miss her too. I miss her a lot. But…I think it’s finally time for you to move on. It’s been years, dad. You deserve to be happy and you’re allowed to be in love again.” 
“[Name]’s an amazing person, and there’s no doubt about that. She’s proved that more than many times already. I’m certain that once things ease over and you guys finally talk things through, everything will turn out okay; she’s very understanding and kind like that. You’ll both be okay.” Charlie gently pulls Lucifer away and with the sleeve of her blazer, she wipes his damp, reddened cheeks. “I know for a fact that she loves and cares about you deeply – we can all see it as clear as day. You…you love her too, don’t you, dad?” 
For a brief moment’s contemplation, Lucifer suddenly recalled the times you spent together, from your initial meeting to now. He had always thought you were a strong and independent soul, with the way you carried yourself. You just had something about you that naturally drew in those around you, including himself. When Lucifer got to know you in a deeper level, he was enthralled by how kind and understanding you were – you were always there to listen to his many tales and endless nonsense; you would always seem genuinely interested in his rubber-duck-esque inventions, offering some input and critiquing his creations; and you would always be so, so supportive of all his plans and ideas, no matter how extraordinary they all seemed.
If he hadn't known any better, Lucifer would've thought you were an actual angel. You were the saviour that wore off the darkness in troubling times, and the one who pulled him out of the void that Lilith had left him in. That and more, as you continuously gave him a real reason to remain hopeful. You were proof personified, that he was able to open his heart once more, and to love again.
“I-I do, I really do,” Lucifer affirms in a heartbeat. Charlie smiles warmly, relieved by his answer, “then that’s all you need to say.” At that moment, Lucifer's chest swelled in overwhelming pride for his daughter, knowing that despite not being as present in her life until recently, she grew up to be the good and strong-willed person he had hoped for.
“O-Oh, jeez. Since when did you grow up so big? I should be the one comforting you,” He tearfully jokes, sniffling whilst returning her smile, “but thank you, Charlie. Really. I’m…I-I really am grateful to call you my daughter.” The two royalties then shared a heart-felt moment and a bone-crushing hug, with the King's heart being filled with a new-found determination. Because, just as he always says: The show must go on. 
Earlier on:
On the other side of the building, you were drowning yourself in your own self-despair as you overlooked the balcony by the front entrance of the hotel. Your eyes lazily scanned the new hotel patrons below, who were engaging in some trust exercises led by Vaggie, who came in to cover you just moments ago. Every once in a while, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone, silently hoping to receive some sort of notification from Lucifer, or even an inkling of his whereabouts. But you received nothing, which only fuelled your growing anxiety.
You felt awful leaving the way you did that night, especially after dumping so much onto Lucifer. You felt like you were being completely selfish, and had cornered him into making a big decision. And because of that, your relationship was on the line. You let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing angrily at your face.
Little did you know however, that you had some company lurking nearby, watching you in silent amusement. 
“Now, don’t you look as miserable as ever?” Alastor mockingly chimes in, stepping out from the shadows to make his presence known and joins you by the balcony. You roll your eyes at the deer-demon before turning your head the other direction. “Yeah, and what about it?” You scoff, leaning in to rest your arms against the rails, “Can’t you go bother someone else, Alastor? I’m certainly not in the mood right now.”  
“Why, I wouldn’t be a good hotelier if I left a dear co-worker of mine so down in the slumps!” To your dismay, Alastor reappears in front of you, obstructing your field of view, "And might I add, it's not healthy for you to be all cooped up in your room all the time – stay there any longer, and it can do silly, little things to your head!" He emphasises his point as he spins a finger in a circular motion by his temple. You shot him an irritated look, slowly growing fed up by his prodding. 
"Listen, I don't need you telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I’m more than capable of deciding that on my own,” you growl, straightening up to cross your arms firmly against your chest. “Hm...no, I don’t think so!” Alastor hums, shaking his head disapprovingly, “The unfortunate affair that took place in your courtship with the King has left you in such a vulnerable, and problematic state. And I’m sure you’ve taken note of how everyone’s been acting around you – constantly walking on their tiptoes in fear of setting you off on a hissy-fit. You’ve caused them to worry a lot about you, dear. Poor ol’ Charlie, especially.” 
You open your mouth to retort back, but nothing came out. A strong pang of guilt struck you as his words began to sink in. Seeing this, Alastor’s grin widened a faction as he stepped forward and levelled himself with you, now facing you eye-to-eye. “And as the executive producer of this fine establishment, might I critique that your behaviour is affecting our team’s morale and performance…and we mustn’t have that now, should we? Especially not since we’ve all been more preoccupied recently with our guests!” He…had a fair point, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.
“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t…know…” Your voice began to trail off, shoulders slumping in realisation of how selfish and contemptuous you’ve been acting this whole week. You recalled the fretful expressions of your friends and your dismissive attitude towards them. “I-I didn’t mean to make everyone worry…” you quietly say. Alastor’s words only made you feel immensely worse about the whole situation, leaving you sniffling on the spot. 
“Now, now. As long as you realise your mistakes, then you shall be forgiven,” he coos, softly patting the tuft of your head. At that, you couldn’t help but send a doubtful glance his way. “W-wait a minute…why do you care all of a sudden? What exactly are you playing at?” You suspiciously question as you rub at your eyes. 
“Oh, how you wound me, dear! Why must you always question any act of kindness I display? Is it really that hard to believe?” He adverts, evidently feigning hurt. You deadpan. “Yes, it is,” you reply almost instantly. Alastor chortles at your bluntness, “Haha! You’re quite a work of art, aren't you, dear? Now, let’s go out for a walk, shall we?” 
Before you could’ve processed what he had said, Alastor had already spun you around, pulling you with him as you both headed down a flight of stairs. “Wha–Alastor, where are we–where the heck are you taking me?” You asked, trying to keep up with his long strides so as to not trip down the stairs. “Hm? Did I not already specify? It looks like your brooding has impacted your hearing, dear. That’s a shame,” he slyly comments, now dragging you towards the entrance, “We’re both going for a walk around town, it’ll help clear that cloudy head of yours!” 
“Hold on-Stop! Just what makes you think I’d agree to go out with you?” You shoot back, retracting your arm from his hold and stopping metres behind him. Alastor sharply turns around and pulls out a wrinkled, yellow piece of paper out of thin air. Your eyes dart towards the sheet, seeing a familiar hand-writing across the page. 
“Why, I just knew you were going to question me – you're so predictable. But might I add, we’re not going out without purpose! No, no! Our lovely Charlie has composed a list and requested we fetch a couple items in town!” Stepping forward, you swiftly snatched the paper from his clawed hand and briefly scanned the list, noting that it largely consisted of decorations and party items. “She wanted to organise a heart-warming celebration for the wayward souls here who have accomplished some milestones on their journey to redemption! An anniversary ceremony of sorts, if you will,” Alastor explains, lightly patting the non-existing dust off of his suit.
“But couldn’t you just…I don’t know, teleport the things here?” You blatantly ask, raising a brow at him. You knew he was more than capable of doing such minuscule tasks within a span of seconds. “And waste such a beautiful day outside? Now, why would I even consider doing that?” Alastor states matter-of-factly, “And like I said, the short trip will help clear your troubled mind! Consider it a gesture of compassion from yours truly.” 
There was clearly something off about all this but you couldn’t see any reason for an ulterior motive. It was just…simply a manager looking out for the well-being of his work-colleagues, as uncharacteristic and off-putting as it sounded out loud. Already exhausted, you couldn’t bring it in yourself to question his actions any further.
“You’re really not going to take ‘no’ for an answer, are you?” You ask. Seeing the way Alastor’s grin widened had you sighing in defeat. “Shall we then?” Alastor questions, offering an arm out to you. Rolling your eyes, you loop one of your arms through and follow him out the hotel. ‘A small walk wouldn’t hurt…’ you think to yourself as the doors shut behind you. 
Currently:
Lucifer tiredly dragged himself to his designated room in the hotel, to rest for a while and take a much needed bath as per Charlie’s advice. He gave himself a lengthy pep-talk in front of the mirror as he brushed his teeth, deciding to approach you tonight to finally talk and clear things out. Yes, he was absolutely terrified about the possibility of things going south during the confrontation, but he didn’t think he could handle another second being without you. And he needed to make that loud and clear. 
After putting on an outfit and neatly slicking his hair back, Lucifer looked at his reflection once more in the bedside mirror, inspecting himself up and down to flatten any remaining creases of his clothing. But it wasn't until his gaze landed on his left hand that he tensed up. Peering down, he brought his hand into view to inspect the very wedding band that caused it all. With a shaky sigh, Lucifer slowly pulled the ring off of his finger. He took a moment to examine it, eyes filled with sentiment before kneeling down to open his bedside drawer, where its designated ring-box sat. The moment he encased the ring in its box and locked it away in his drawer, it felt like a breath of fresh air. To his own surprise, Lucifer found himself tearfully laughing – he felt...genuinely happy. Proud, even. It was at this very moment that he felt like he was finally ready to move forward.
After patting the stray tears away from his face, Lucifer slowly made his way down to the front lobby. There, Charlie and Vaggie were talking amongst themselves by the lounge area, whilst Angel and Cherri chuckled away by the bar, with Husk tending to their beverages. The King didn’t give an inkling of care as to where Alastor had gone, and he was certain that Nifty was hiding somewhere in the small crevices of the hotel, cleaning away. All in all, there was no sight of you whatsoever, visibly disappointing him. 
Seeing his approaching form, Charlie waved his father over towards them. “Hey, dad. Are you feeling a bit better now?” She asks with a comforting smile. “Yeah, totally. Thanks, dear,” he says, patting her shoulder affectionately before turning his attention towards her partner. “Hey! How’s it going, Maggie? I’ve heard you’ve been working real hard lately, huh? Good on yah!” He commends, playfully nudging the said demon. “Oh, um…it’s–it’s Vaggie, sir. And uh, thanks,” she nervously chuckles, rubbing her arm. “Mhm, yeah…that’s–that’s great,” Lucifer distractedly hums, all the while scanning around the room. Noticing this, Vaggie shared a worried look with Charlie. 
“Erm, dad, she’s not here at the moment if that’s what you’re wondering,” Charlie starts, alerting her father. “Oh? Well, is she up in one of the guest rooms?” Lucifer asked, gesturing upstairs with a thumb. To his confusion, Charlie appeared somewhat nervous, her hands fidgeting with her suit. “Uh, no, she’s actually not in the hotel at the moment,” Vaggie steps in, “she’s been out doing a couple of errands for us.” Lucifer raised a brow at the slight edginess in her tone, eyes darting back and forth between the two girls. “...Um, alright. What the heck is going on right now?" He asks, pointing an accusatory finger at them both, "You guys are acting sketchy as fuck. Are you...are you guys hiding something from me?" He narrows his eyes. Charlie sucks in a breath, brows pinching together, “Well...dad, t-the thing is–” 
“She’s out with Smiles right now!” Angel suddenly intervened, calling out from the other side of the room, and causing Charlie to cower and duck behind Vaggie. Lucifer felt his shoulders grow rigid. “She’s…what now?” He dangerously asks, glaring at the arachnid. Before Lucifer trudged towards the direction of the bar, the front doors of the hotel abruptly flew open. He felt the vein in his neck nearly burst at the sound of your laughter interlacing itself with that god-awful, irritating radio feedback. What a wild coincidence.
As Lucifer turned around, his eyes nearly flew out of his head as he saw how close you were with Alastor, arms basically locked together. The radio-demon was quick to meet eyes with the King, and out of spite, Alastor flashed him the biggest shit-eating grin he's ever seen.
“Oh, fuck no!”
Chapter III - Finale [x]
Thank you for reading!
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five-bi-five-mind · 4 months ago
Note
PLEASE MAKE SUGAR MOMMY!WANDA. It can be when she already left Westview and is now living a lonely life alone missing her children. Then there goes new neighbor R who just left home and is struggling financially OMG!
I loved every single one of your Wanda fics and I'll never shut up about it 👀
Everything Again
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff & fem!Reader
Genre: Smut & Dark-ish fic
Words: 8K+
Summary: Wanda has nothing in her life that brings her joy once she let go of Westview, but then she meets you. She makes sure to be everything you want and need, and you’re all she needs… for a while. But what happens when some of her wants from Westview come creeping back? Can Wanda suppress it or will she do whatever it takes to have everything she wants again?
Warnings: light stalking, not the healthiest relationship, Wanda is controlling, toxic!Wanda, mind manipulation, top!Wanda, bottom!R, rough sex, magic strap-on, slight breeding kink, degradation, magic restraints, light choking, slight dubcon, maybe possibly unknown risk of pregnancy but no actual pregnancy.
A/N: I hate this title but I couldn't think of a better one... Anyways I kinda took a dark turn with this request that's my bad. Enjoy folks!
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When Wanda saw you, she knew she had to have you. It was like the stars aligned all of a sudden and a splash of color came into her bleak world for once since leaving Westview. She’d been wandering all over since that… incident. All she felt for months was this horrible, nagging, hollowness and she had no idea how to solve it. Part of her wondered if she filled this void with something to at least stave off the boredom, maybe it would be better. But so far, her only method of occupying her time was figuring out the scope of her power. And every time she dabbled with that it just felt like the hole inside her ripped open even deeper. 
She had made her way to a small college town when she bumped into you. Or, more accurately, when you smacked into her, your eyes glued to your phone at the time. When your body collided with Wanda’s she felt anger bubble inside her for a moment and that familiar tingle at her fingertips as she decided how she might act in response to your inconsideration.  But when your panicked eyes looked up at hers, suddenly it was like the fuse inside her was doused with ice cold water. 
Wanda couldn’t help but smirk at your immediate apologetic response once you realized you were now fully pressed against an utter stranger. At the time, you were so panicked over the email you had just received that you forgot to look up. But when you felt strong hands bracing your elbows as you hit another person’s body like hitting a brick wall, it brought you crashing into reality. The guilt and embarrassment you felt were burning on your cheeks, but the eyes that met yours were only angry for a brief moment. After yours locked with hers they shifted from anger to surprise and then, curiously enough for the both of you, to intrigue. 
“I– I am so sorry,” you sputtered as you attempted to take a step back. Key word there was attempted. To your confusion, the woman in front of you didn’t seem to want to let go. 
It surprised Wanda too, but not in a bad way. The moment she heard your voice things lit up even more. That splash of color turned into a sea and she didn’t want to let go just yet. Her hands wrapped tighter around your elbows and for a moment she didn’t even care that it could possibly startle you. She just knew that for some odd reason, having you, this wide-eyed, terrified random girl she bumped into on the street, was bringing part of her back to life in a way. 
“Are you okay?” Wanda still didn’t let go. If anything, she pulled you ever so slightly closer as she swore she could feel your heartbeat like crazy against her own chest.  
“Oh, um, yes.” You again attempted to take a step back. “Thank you, um…”
“Wanda,” she replied and finally dropped her hold on you. It didn’t go unseen– the disappointed frown she had for a moment as you took a wide step back. 
“Wanda,” you echoed. “I’m sorry about that. I should’ve watched where I was going. Are you alright?” Your head tilted and your eyebrows scrunched as you asked her that and Wanda was taken aback for a moment that you even thought to ask. It had been so long since she was asked anything if she were being honest.
“What made you so distracted?” Wanda ignored your question and chose to ask one of her own. She didn’t even know you, but she realized she suddenly wanted to learn everything about you, starting with what had you so wrapped up in a tiny screen that you ran straight into another human being. 
“Oh…” Your eyes dropped to the ground and Wanda took note of the way you shuffled nervously in front of her. “Um, nothing just– It wasn’t something that should’ve distracted me like that. I’m sorry for running into you.” You were trying to go at this point. The way this stranger was looking at you had you anxious and you had no idea why. The fact that she was also asking you this rather than just going on her own way also made you feel self-conscious and scrutinized by the woman before you. 
Wanda just blinked back at you, the frown on her face showing yet again for a moment. Your eyes searched hers and the confusion in them grew. Did this total stranger really want to know your business? If you were to say it out loud to her, surely you would seem pathetic. But she still stood, waiting for you to answer what was so important that you completely missed the person standing still as you walked right into her.
“Okay,” you sighed, “I got an email about my funding. I’m a– Or I guess was a student here. My funding got pulled. No funding means no grad school… So I have to figure that out, I guess.” 
There was a moment of silence as Wanda just stared down at you. Her facial expression was impossible to read for a moment. It was pensive, almost neutral and you waited for any sort of response to her. 
“I’ll figure it out,” you continued for whatever reason. Trying to fill the silence as Wanda just kept staring. “There’s other programs, other schools. I can apply again.”
“I’m sure it will all work out,” Wanda finally said. She put her hand on your shoulder for a moment, trailing it over you as she finally began to walk past you. When her hand left you and she went her own way, you just stood there stunned. 
You thought that encounter with her would plague your mind for days, but as if a switch had flipped suddenly that strangeness that was filling your mind faded into nothing.
—---------------------------------
That encounter may have left you utterly confused, but to Wanda it made things so clear. She finally had a plan, something to do. She was wandering aimlessly since Westview with nothing to fill the time. She had said she would find her children again in some dimension, somewhere, but for she had no real leads. She was losing hope, she was spiraling– That is until you bumped into her.
The gears in Wanda’s mind began to turn the minute you confessed to why you were so distracted that fateful day. And ever since then, she was going to put a plan into motion. First, she had to learn just a little bit more about you. But it wouldn’t do if you suddenly left the place she had found you in, so she tweaked some things. Starting with an anonymous donation to your department (of which she found quite quickly from just a few days of watching you) so that they might be able to fund their graduate students– Specifically you– and that you might be able to stay and continue your research and studies while she worked on a way to draw you closer to her. 
After a few weeks of watching you, she quickly learned that despite her donation, they didn’t give you enough funding to comfortably live on. You ran from job to job when you weren’t on campus studying and Wanda quickly decided, if you were to be her new fixation, then having multiple jobs would not do. You had her undivided attention, so now she wanted the majority of yours. She decided you could have your studies, but the rest of you… The rest of you she was going to make hers. 
It only took her a few more weeks after watching you carefully to approach you again. One thing about her new powers was that, rather than captivating a whole town like she did with Westview, she could easily– and with a lot less catastrophic damage– erase a small part of people’s memories. Namely, their memory that Wanda even existed in the first place. It wasn’t possible for the whole world to forget her, but a small college town she definitely could handle. Just another reason to keep you inside this town and not let you wander much further. With her handle on this new aspect of her own power, she took it one step further with you, erasing the very first day you two met. That day would always replay in Wanda’s mind, but she knew it confused and frightened you and she needed to paint herself in the best light possible when she finally approached you face-to-face again.
It was quite easy to approach you this time too. She posed as a professor in your own university. She twisted and turned the minds of the university until it was as if she had been there a long time. An established part of a university department outside of your own. She knew your schedule too, so she knew that you would always sit at the corner of the university coffee shop for about an hour in between classes. That’s where she finally approached you– or, to be more accurate, she made you approach her.
She almost felt bad about it, but at the same time she knew it would be her way in. She knew your eyes would be buried in a book as you walked to your usual spot and she used that moment to use an invisible force to trip you. And, like the knight in shining armor she wanted to appear to you as, she swooped in front of you and caught you skillfully. 
The first look you gave her was back on your face this time too. The panic and embarrassment that burned in your cheeks as you looked up at your savior was evident on your face. Wanda gave you the best, charming smile she could muster, but if you were being honest it made you feel almost as if you were a fly that landed right in a spider’s web. 
“Are you okay?” Wanda said the same line to you and you nodded, immediately trying to apologize like last time. 
Wanda knew by now that this was your personality. You were shy and anxious, but also patient and kind. All the things that were the opposite of how she considered herself and all the things that had her captivated by you. 
“Yeah, I– I’m good,” you again tried to step back and this time Wanda let you. “I’m so sorry! Thank you for catching me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Wanda chuckled as her hands fell to her sides. “What are you reading? Must be interesting.” The crooked smile she gave you was what finally drew you in. It was charming and warm and the way her eyes sparkled had you wanting to see more. When Wanda took in the wide, curious eyes looking back at her she knew she had you. 
And that was really all it took for her to wrap you up in her web and never let you go.
—------------------------------------------------
In the following months things happened rather quickly. After the day you had officially met Wanda, you saw her way more often. She would always sit near you at the coffee shop, or bump into you on other parts of campus, until finally you two established a date. And from that date things happened even quicker. It was like you blinked and suddenly your whole life was wrapped up in Wanda’s. You quickly said goodbye to your rundown, tiny apartment and moved into Wanda’s extravagant house right outside of town. Instead of taking the city bus to and from campus, she was driving you whenever and wherever you needed to go. There was now a lot more free time in your life to focus on both your studies and this new relationship you found yourself in with Wanda, as she had insisted you quit your job. That she would take care of every single one of your wants and needs. And how could you say no to that? Although, it was all a little too fast for your comfort, if you were being honest, but at the same time it was Wanda… You couldn’t picture your life without her from the very moment you met her and she made it clear that she intended for you to never find out what it would be like without her in it. 
She took care of you, she took care of everything. You needed only to focus on two things: her and school. Wanda loved the passion you had for studying, so she let you keep one thing outside of her. But she was still near, even if you weren’t aware. She was always near. 
But as months stretched on and her attachment to you became even stronger, things shifted a bit. She was feeling… anxious. The life she had back in Westview began to pop up in her mind again and she felt that hole inside her chest once more– The one that you had filled when she first saw you. There was only one part of her Westview life that kept running through her mind though. It wasn’t Vision. No, it was never Vision. Not when she had you. You were a brighter light in her life than Vision ever had been. A deeper love that felt soft and gentle, even if she had orchestrated a lot of events in order to make the two of you happen. 
Vision wasn’t what kept her up lately. It was her boys. There were dreams of them, flashes of them in her daily life. It was almost as if the more she loved you, the more she missed them. You had healed this wound, but in the nights that you wrapped your arms around her and fell asleep, she felt that familiar tug she had in Westview– the one that longed for a family. A life of peace and completeness. That made the wound feel fresh again. 
So Wanda began to withdraw. She wasn’t going to let you go, but for now, as she contemplated these feelings and how to fix them, she needed time and distance. Each time you smiled at her, each time you kissed her, that tug in the pit of her stomach felt stronger and stronger. The longing grew– The thought of recreating a Westview with you was tempting. But she knew how well that worked out last time. 
Late at night when this longing grew particularly strong, Wanda would sneak away when you were fast asleep to contemplate her options. She had hoped that you wouldn’t notice her withdrawal, but when your whole world was Wanda… How could you not? 
As these days of dealing with a withdrawn Wanda stretched on, you were getting restless. Something was clearly bothering Wanda and it was causing a rise of anxiety in you. At first you tried to approach it gently, but Wanda iced you out. The problem grew and Wanda warned you not to poke at it, but you couldn’t just leave it be. 
With your life being filled with Wanda now– Her withdrawing left you painfully lonely. So you began pushing unspoken limits Wanda set for you. Fights started and time and time again Wanda would shut you down. 
The more she did so, the more it felt she was putting you on the shelf. Like you were her little play thing and she was bored of you. There was an ache in you that you didn’t quite understand and the more confusion she left you with the closer you were to being utterly done. How you could even live without Wanda, you weren’t sure, but you were almost a little tempted to figure it out. 
There was no way you could ever leave Wanda, though. You didn’t want to, even if she was withdrawn, you still loved her deeply. But you wanted attention, acknowledgement, anything. 
Unfortunately for you, the only way you knew how to get that was to push her buttons more and more each day. 
You had no idea what was going through Wanda’s mind, but she had been particularly aggravated lately. What you didn’t know was that Wanda was stuck in trying to find the solution to the feelings that were plaguing her. She had played with an idea, but knew that in order to do so she would out her true nature and risk the memories she took from you to come flooding back. What would you do then, if you remembered who Wanda was? Her name was all over the news and the whole world knew she had fallen far from where she was when she helped the avengers. That was so long ago to Wanda. It was a different time, a different her. One that didn’t know her potential and didn’t know her own heart until she finally found all the pieces. 
The problem was, she’s never had all those pieces all at the same time. She wanted you and her boys. She wanted the picture perfect family that she had in Westview, but she wanted it with you this time. She wanted you as her little housewife and mother of her twins. In the past week she had been engrossed in ways to make that happen. She had a theory that if she tried to create her children again it would be the same children she once had. All she needed was to share her DNA in some way with you and a little bit of magic to add to that. Then, all would be right in her eyes if she had them in this way. For whatever reason, she felt that that was the true way the universe was meant to be. If she built this family with you, then it would never be taken from her ever again. The tricky part was actually creating them with you in a way that didn’t have you questioning how it was even scientifically possible. That would have you questioning a lot about who she is and what she could do. And she didn’t want to ruin what she established with you just yet. Even if the more you pushed at her the more she was tempted to say let go of her control.
She knew you were getting fed up with it too and the more you pushed her the more she contemplated letting her resolve slip. She tried her best to keep you at arms length while she tried to figure out her predicament. But she was feeling stuck with no alternative other than to reveal herself and what she could do. She kept going in circles to feel less stuck, but the more stuck she felt with this problem the angrier she was. And unfortunately, the angrier she was the easier it was for you to push her buttons. 
Unfortunately for the both of you, it only took one final push for her to actually snap. When you thought of Wanda breaking, you thought it would mean she would be forced to talk to you. Never did you expect the outcome of your plans that night. 
Your classmates had invited you out for drinks and, since you met Wanda, your answer was usually no. But tonight things were different. Wanda was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn’t pick you on campus. She was kind enough to warn you to take an Uber and she would pay, but you were still angry about it. So when you were invited out, you said yes. 
Saying anything other than no would’ve already irritated Wanda. Even a maybe. She didn’t like the idea of you going out to bars, especially without her. Usually if you wanted to do something with anyone else you’d at least ask her and she would be nearby to make sure you were safe and no one was tempted to take advantage of the time she was allowing them to have alone with you. But this time, you weren’t even going to ask. You were just going to go. Something you hadn’t done since before Wanda.
You knew what you were doing. It was all entirely intentional. Right down to the outfit you picked and the way you walked past Wanda, making just enough noise to get some of her attention. Even if she didn’t look up at you.
“Where are you going?” Wanda asked as she flipped a page of a strange book she was reading.
“Out,” you muttered. Even if Wanda wasn’t looking at you, you wanted your tone to register that you were rolling your eyes at her. The fact that she didn’t even look up just pissed you off even more. 
“I’m not planning to leave the house tonight.” She still wasn’t looking at you and that just made your hands ball into fists as you got more and more offended by her lack of attention. 
“I know,” you scoffed. “I don’t have to go everywhere with you.”
Suddenly, an eerie silence filled the room. You watched Wanda’s face as she kept her eyes glued to the book she was reading. There was a slight change in it, a tightening of her jaw, but she still didn’t look at you. 
“You know that’s not how this works,” Wanda’s response was calm, but you could tell you were starting to get to her. Never had you been defiant to her. She gave you everything you wanted and you did whatever she asked. There was an unspoken rule to go where Wanda goes, be where she wants you and an even deeper unspoken rule to not question or defy any of the other arrangements you two have made. But tonight, as you watched her jaw clench and unclench and realized you were getting under her skin, you decided to push more. 
“So?” You shrugged and that silent uncomfortable feeling in the room felt like it intensified the very second you uttered that one word. “I don’t see the harm in going out just for one night on my own.”
Wanda’s eyes slowly slid from her book to your face the moment you uttered the phrase on your own. That definitely wasn’t something you should’ve said to her. There was an understanding that anything you did “on your own” was something that Wanda would be nearby for. What you were asking for was a night completely away from Wanda, and it was breaking the biggest unspoken rule she had for you. This was new waters you were treading, but you were so sick of her lack of interest that you didn’t care. Any attention from her was a change from whatever was happening now. 
“You’re not going,” she ordered as she snapped her book shut and stood up. 
You just snorted at that, anger boiling in your blood as you stood your ground. “Why not? You seem preoccupied with just about anything other than me. What’s the harm?”
She was right in front of you now, her jaw was clenching and unclenching like it had before, but this time you looked down for a brief second and noticed her fists were doing the same. Still, though, you wanted to keep pushing. 
“With you dressed like that,” Wanda warned, “I think you know exactly what harm it could do.” You knew what you were doing when you got dressed. A tight, cropped shirt and even tighter short shorts to match. It was something meant to catch the eye of others and definitely something you knew would get an extra rise out of Wanda to add to that. What you didn’t know was what exactly Wanda meant. She was already picturing in her mind the droves of people who would come trying to pick you up at whatever trashy bar you decided to go to. And when she pictured people trying to touch what was hers, she also pictured all the ways in which she could make them suffer so much as daring to think they could have you. 
You were playing with fire and on some level you knew that, but something in you couldn’t stop pushing her buttons. Even if you didn’t know what exactly you were getting into, even if you didn’t know to the full extent how possessive Wanda could be of you and how much of a monster she was capable of being when provoked. 
“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” You shrugged again and Wanda’s eye twitched as you kept challenging her resolve. “At least someone will appreciate it.”
If you thought the tension was bad when Wanda stood up, now it was suffocating you. Wanda just stared back at you, her eyes burning with anger. In fact, she looked so angry you swore you saw a red flash in her eyes.  For a moment, you kind of just stood there, waiting for Wanda to respond, but on her part she was trying to calm the possessive rage that you just caused to boil over inside of her. 
Part of her wanted to force you to your knees and have you beg forgiveness for defying her like this. You hadn’t even done anything yet, but just the idea and threat of disobeying her wishes had her furious. She was so close to figuring out how to have everything she wanted and now of all times you were trying to defy her? Trying to let a pathetic stranger swoop in on you at some dive bar when you know you’re hers? No, this was unacceptable to her. Never have you done anything other than be good for her. The way you so easily obeyed her is a small part of what drew her to you in the first place. And she did realize she had been neglectful, but couldn’t you see it was for your own good? For the good of the family Wanda was trying to rebuild with you? The more she had you the more she wanted. She had you completely already, that was true, but she wanted you in a way she wasn’t sure you were ready for. In a way that would show you exactly who Wanda really was. 
So in order to find a solution to the raging beast inside of her that wanted to claim you and have her family back, she thought it was best to withdraw.Clearly she over calculated and now here she was. But as you stood with your arms crossed over your chest, daring her with your eyes to do something, suddenly that’s when all her control just snapped. You felt the shift too, even if you didn’t understand it. It was like the calm before the storm. Wanda took a sharp, deep breath through her nose before exhaling and taking a step into your personal space. 
“Okay,” Wanda growled. “That’s about enough.” In a blink of the eye you were thrown over her shoulder. The way you yelped as you felt yourself hoisted off the ground echoed through the room. You knew Wanda was strong, but you didn’t know she was that strong. She had you thrown over her shoulder like it was nothing. Your hands grasped at her shirt, terrified she would drop you at any moment, but it was as if she had no struggle at all. 
“Wanda, what the fuck?” You cried as she walked towards the bedroom. With a grunt, you landed hard on the mattress. You couldn’t even begin to sit up before she was already on the bed with her legs on either side of your waist, essentially pinning you down onto the bed with her body.
“Language,” she hissed as she started to pull her own shirt off before immediately reaching for yours. 
“How did you- What- When did you get so strong?” You couldn’t collect your thoughts. They were scrambled up by the display of sheer strength and also maybe a little bit by the fact that Wanda was sitting on top of you without a shirt. 
“You wanted attention and now you’re questioning how I give it to you?” Wanda’s voice was dripping with irritation as she began to yank both your own shirt and bra off of you. 
“I– No, but…” You were now naked from the waist up beneath Wanda. Her eyebrow arched as you struggled to find your words. You definitely knew your little stunt would piss her off, but you didn’t expect this outcome. 
“Now tell me,” Wanda’s nails began dragging down your chest as she spoke, “why would you want anyone else’s attention, when I’m all that you need?” Her nails dug down a little harder as they reached your stomach and you hissed at the slight sting of the red marks they left behind.
“Tell me,” Wanda ordered again as her hands made their way back up to your chest. “I give you everything you could possibly want.” The way she was palming at them was rough, but still it had you squirming underneath her. “So why,” she took your nipples between her fingers and pinched just a little harder than she usually would, causing a slight pain as she spoke, “would you ever think about anyone else?”
You winced as she palmed at you even harder, but you couldn’t help the flood of shame at the arousal it sent straight to your core. The way she was handling you, like an object— like something to be owned— was new. Sure she could be intense when she touched you, but she was never intentionally rough like she was being right now. She never purposely caused any kind of pain, even if right now it was mild and (to your surprise) enjoyable. 
“It– it wasn’t like that!” You were stumbling over your words as you began to feel Wanda grind down into you. It wasn’t slight or subtle, the way she was moving her hips. She was pressing your body harder into the mattress as she dragged herself against you from where she was straddling your waist. 
“Hm, then what was it like?” Wanda’s tone was degrading. She was practically seething on top of you as she spoke. “Because to me it sounded like my little toy wanted someone else to play with her?” 
“I–” You couldn’t stop the wince at her harsh words. She had called you that before, but still there was a loving inflection in her voice when she did in the past. This tone she had now, the way she said, it was filled with nothing but rage. “Wanda, I don’t want anyone else. No– No, I… I just wanted you to-“ 
“Oh look at that,” Wanda interrupted, her tone utterly condescending. “Now you’re trying to cover your tracks.” You watched curiously as one of Wanda’s hands left your body. “I thought you understood when we started that you’re mine. I can’t have a single ounce of doubt in your mind about that fact. Now I need to remind you of who you belong to. Who owns you.” She hissed that word and your eyes widened as you watched her fingers twist and twirl in the air, a red glow following them as they moved. In a blink the rest of your clothes just vanished. Your eyes widened for a moment as you stared up at Wanda. But then, in another flash of red you felt your hands fly up and pin themselves above your head. No matter the struggle, you felt a constant, unwavering invisible force hold your wrists in place. 
“Wanda, what— how did you do that?” Your eyes shifted from above you, then to her fingers and finally to her face. Now you definitely noticed the matching red swirl in her irises. 
“I think it’s time I properly taught you just how important it is for you to be good, so that we can have everything we want.” If she heard your question she was clearly ignoring it. Your mind was racing trying to keep up with what was going on top of you. Her words definitely confused you too, but you didn’t get the chance to question them again. 
Wanda looked down for a moment and saw the look in your eyes before rolling her own and pressing her glowing fingers to your temple. In a split second you suddenly realized exactly who she was. Your heart raced and you gulped, but oddly you weren’t as terrified as you were just shocked. 
The Wanda Maximoff was on top of you telling you that you belonged to her. You should be running and screaming for help, or at least attempting to. All the news headlines and stories flooded your memory and you knew exactly how they painted her. She could end you in a second; you should be afraid. But for some reason, you weren’t. Instead, seeing this powerful woman on top of you and thinking back to all the times she told you she loved you, that she would take care of you, that she wanted only you. Knowing the truth, it stunned you, but not in a bad way. 
“Are you scared?” Wanda’s tone was still the same, taunting and demeaning as it was before. Only this time, you saw a little beyond that. There was a seriousness there. A curiosity of what your reaction was. Wanda thought if you reacted badly she could just go back to how it was. Wipe your mind of her existence entirely yet again, restart with you, and enjoy the dynamic you two had again. Was it a healthy plan? No. She would have to start from scratch again. Get you to fall for her once more. But Wanda’s obsession with you has gone far beyond the point of return. She would do what was necessary.
As if to purposely test your limits, Wanda reached for your throat, pressing ever so slightly. “Are you?” She repeated as she leaned down to look you in the eye.
You swallowed hard for a second, already feeling the slight strain on your throat as you did. “No,” you breathed out lowly. You weren’t at all. You realized all you wanted was her attention and finally she was giving it to you. Was this secret that kept her so withdrawn lately? “No, Wanda, I’m not.” 
You were nervous, but you weren’t scared. No matter what Wanda was before, no matter what she has become now, you were hers from the moment you crashed into her. A memory that was returned to you. If she hadn’t wiped that one, you would’ve still been drawn to her and fallen for her just as hard as you did when she was posing as a professor. 
Wanda knew your acceptance was true and took your answer for what it was. This moment right now opened so many doors for her. The void she had been feeling, it could finally be fixed in the way she wanted to fix it. Things in her life were falling into place. As Wanda sat atop of you she finally— for the first time in her entire existence —felt like she was winning. Not once did she ever feel so powerful until this very moment.
“Now that you know the truth…” Wanda trailed off in a low voice. She was thinking aloud more than she was talking to you. Her eyes stayed locked with yours but you could tell she was pondering something. When you saw the now familiar swirl of red in her eyes you began to question what Wanda has in store for you. 
“Do you love me?” Wanda now spoke directly to you. Her eyes were still glowing red as her hand finally relaxed against your throat.
“Yes,” you replied breathlessly. Wanda’s face melted at your admission. The harsh, contemplative look she was wearing shifted into a soft smile finally. It was perhaps the first time in weeks she gave you a glimpse of her softness and you reveled in it. 
But after just a split second it was replaced with a bigger smile, one that gave you that feeling of being prey caught in a trap again. It was a feeling you weren’t unfamiliar with. And, if you were being honest, you enjoyed the thrill you got from seeing it. “We’re going to try something,” Wanda purred as she sat back up, but remained on top of you. “Something that we’ll both thoroughly enjoy.” 
You looked at her with curious eyes, squirming underneath her only slightly as she shifted and began to move between your legs. 
“It will give us both what we’ve been wanting,” Wanda continued as she now knelt between your legs, holding them open for her as she spoke. Her eyes raked down your body, from your flushed cheeks all the way down to the wetness that dripped from your thighs. She couldn’t help the satisfied hum at the sight, thinking this might be a lot easier of a task than she thought it would be. 
With another swirl of red in her eyes and a matching red shimmer around her twirling fingers, you followed her eyes down as the rest of her clothes disappeared and something materialized. Wanda’s smile grew as something you couldn’t fully see appeared between her legs.
You strained your neck up as best you could from the pillow, but with your arms still pinned above your head it was difficult. You caught what looked like shimmering, deep red straps resting around her waist and could only imagine what those led to. 
When Wanda leaned forward and you felt a cool, silicon tip pushing between your folds, your suspicions were confirmed. The contact made the both of you shiver, and as you felt Wanda run the toy slowly from your entrance to your clit and back down, you could see her taking sharp, deep breaths.
“This is going to be… incredible,” Wanda practically hissed. “I’ll be able to feel everything, to feel every part of you when I make you cum.”
Wanda hadn’t even begun fucking you and the idea of it turned you on so much you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped from your lips in a response. 
“And then,” Wanda lined the tip up as she spoke, “I’m going to fill you with my cum and hopefully it will work.” With that she pushed forward and you both took a sharp breath at the feeling. 
Wanda eased in as slowly as she could while fighting her every instinct to just ram into you and fuck you until she felt you fall apart. But she knew that at least for the start of this, she should go slow. This was, after all, the first time she’s fucked you using her magic. It was the first time she’s fucked you using something this big too. For all she knew, you’ve only ever had experience with her fingers. She didn’t want to break you— not completely. But as her cock sank into you inch by inch she was beginning to slip.
“God this feels better than I imagined,” Wanda hissed as she bottomed out inside you. “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” 
Your teeth were digging into your lip as you tried to stop yourself from crying out from the sheer feeling of being so full. To have Wanda fill your pussy in a way she never has before, it was taking all your willpower not to turn into a moaning, whining mess before she even really began to fuck you.
Wanda’s hips were currently completely pressed between your legs and you were taking her so surprisingly well. You were tight, but the way you squeezed Wanda’s magic strap was delicious. There was a pause for a moment— just a brief second for you to adjust to the size of her toy. But it was all she could manage to give you. The sensation of actually feeling you in this way had her head swimming and she needed more. 
She pulled the toy out slowly, so much so that only the tip stayed inside you. Her chest was already heaving as she looked down at you. The way her eyes were filled with hunger made you shiver as you looked back up at her, restrained, helpless, and thirsty for more. Your legs spread open for her even more without her prompting you and she groaned at the sight before her. Your wetness smeared on the parts of the toy that she could see, your arms still pinned over your head. It was all too much. She couldn’t help what she did next. Her hips snapped suddenly and her cock pushed deep into you. 
The cry you let out echoed through the room and Wanda swore she’s never heard a prettier sound. Her hips pulled back again until just the tip was left in you. Again she snapped them forward hard, making your eyes screw shut as you cried her name. 
“Fuck, if I knew it would feel like this…” Wanda groaned as she began to pump inside you at a brutal pace. Her hands were on your thighs, nails digging into your skin as she kept your legs spread open. Your hands were balled into fists above your head as she fucked you. You couldn’t stop the moans and cries that fell from your lips even if you wanted to. 
As Wanda kept fucking you, she fell forward, her entire body pressed against yours, as her lips captured your own. You whimpered into the kiss as her tongue filled your mouth much in the same aggressive way as the way she was currently fucking the toy into you. 
Wanda’s hands still had a hold of your thighs as she hoisted your legs over her waist, giving her a better angle to fuck the toy into you. You struggled to keep up with the way Wanda was licking into your mouth and biting at your lips. Her cock was hitting a spot inside of you, you didn’t even know would feel as good as it did. Your knuckles were turning white as your whole body began to shake from the sheer pleasure she was giving you. Even though you felt as if your whole body was on the brink of exploding, Wanda just kept going.
When Wanda began to moan more and more against your own mouth, you knew neither of you would last much longer. Wanda couldn’t keep kissing you anymore, and instead buried her head in the nape of your neck as she hoisted your legs higher onto her hips and fucked you even deeper. Your eyes had rolled back and cries of Wanda’s name fell from your lips nonstop as she picked up her pace.
“I can feel how close you are,” Wanda groaned as she pumped particularly harder into you. “But you’re going to wait. I want you to cum when I do.”
All you could do was whine in response as the sensation of her fucking you made it impossible for you to let out any coherent words. 
“You’re going to look so pretty,” she moaned against your neck, “filled up with my cum… and even prettier after.” Wanda’s movements were becoming erratic as she spoke. The words hardly registered to you as she kept fucking you harder and faster. 
“You wanna cum, baby?” Wanda purred in your ear. You nodded desperately, your whole body trembling as you continued to take her. Her teeth grazed against the most sensitive part of your neck as she felt you nod and she could feel her own body tremble from how close she was. “Then come with me,” she ordered. Her hips pumped harder into you and after a moment you felt a sudden warm rush of fluids inside you. The sound of moans filled the air even louder than before and you weren’t sure if they were coming from you or her. 
The moment you felt her cum inside you, you followed after. Your body arched off the bed and you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Wanda’s forehead was pressed to your bare chest as she came. The way your pussy tightened around her magic cock was intoxicating. Neither of you had felt so good in your entire lives and Wanda made a mental note to fuck you like this often. 
When she felt your body finally collapse against the mattress she did the same against you. You realized quickly that your wrists no longer felt restrained, but you kept them above your head either way. Too exhausted to even lift them yet. 
“That was…” you couldn’t find the words. You had never felt so amazing on so many different levels than you did tonight. Your body felt spent and sensitive, but all you wanted was more. More of that, more of Wanda, more of everything she had to offer now that you knew who Wanda was. 
“Yeah,” Wanda didn’t need to hear you finish your sentence to know she was feeling the same way you were. Her head rested on your chest, listening to your heartbeat begin to slow as you came down from the high Wanda gave you. 
“Can we… do it like that more?” Your face was flushed as you asked. 
Wanda lifted her head and gave you a beaming smile. To anyone else it would be dazzling, but curiously, to you it gave you that feeling again— the one where you were nothing but a sheep caught in a wolf’s clutches. 
“Of course we can, baby,” Wanda purred as she looked up at you. “As many times as it takes.” 
The word choice was odd. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at the woman on your chest. Her eyes were dark as she looked back up at you and something about the way her fingers traced up and down your stomach made you shudder. 
“As many times as it takes?” You echoed Wanda’s words back to her as a question, but she just gave a small hum of agreement as she placed a few kisses on your skin. 
“Until I have everything that I want again.” Her voice was low suddenly, almost threatening. You looked down at her eyes and saw how they darkened as she continued to trace her fingers against your body. “And nobody will take it from me again.”
Her words felt like a threat to an invisible entity. You knew it wasn’t directed towards you, you had no idea the source. But you knew she was serious, even if you didn’t quite understand why. Her words felt as much as a threat to someone as they did a direct promise to you. 
As Wanda laid on your chest and recovered some of her strength she thought about how she was one step closer. She could have her perfect family; her happiness. She didn’t need to control a whole town, she didn’t even necessarily need to control you. Once you did understand, she knew you would be accepting. Shocked, maybe, but ultimately accepting and even happy to build the dream Wanda had. She would have her boys, she would recreate them again with you. And then it would be the four of you, forever. 
For your part, you didn’t know what Wanda meant exactly. It wouldn’t be until later that evening, when Wanda decided you recovered enough to go again, that you put the pieces together and realized exactly how magic Wanda’s new toy was. She was right in her assumption of your reaction, shocked but accepting. Just like the good girl she knew you would be. Whatever Wanda wanted, you decided you would give it to her, knowing she would do the same. Wanda was one step closer to her happiness and it finally felt as if she was building it on solid foundations. There would be no one to take you from her, no one to stop her from building a life again with you. And there was a silent, chilling understanding between the two of you that if anyone were to ever threaten her happiness again… they would not get very far.
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tender-rosiey · 5 months ago
Note
hiii this is my first time requesting so i dont know how specific or vague i should get :,) but maybe a scenario between sukuna and reader on how their wedding ceramony(and maybe afterparty) went? i saw an edit of sukuna with lana del rey’s margaret and immediately thought you could write this scenario since all of your husband!sukuna works are chef’s kiss “:D
true oath — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
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a/n: so glad you like my husband!sukuna works anon and I hope you like this as well 🥹 ALSO special thanks to @lexiene and @camelnose for beta-reading BIG HUGS TO BOTH OF YOU SRSLY MWUAHHH
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the servants scurry all around the room, trying to finish as much as possible in the time frame they have been given.
meanwhile, you are sat in front of your vanity with your personal maid who is putting the final touches to your makeup. you let out a soft giggle at the franticness of the others then look at the mirror to examine yourself.
the kimono had been handpicked by sukuna himself, something he believed was only logical—given that, according to him, nobody knows you as well as he does, and of course, that you’re getting married to him.
you thought he was being overconfident in his abilities, but to your surprise, he really did end up choosing something that—both—fit you well and you liked very much.
though, you wouldn’t tell him that. you wonder what his reaction would be to how you actually look in it, especially since you barely made him agree to not seeing you until the ceremony.
“no.”
“sukuna, come on,” you huffed, clinging onto his arms, “it’s a tradition!”
“I don’t care about traditions, you know that,” he replied simply and carried you in his arms.
you pouted and rested your head on his shoulder, looking up at him with your best puppy eyes, “please, honey?”
he looks at you for a few moments before clicking his tongue and looking away, “fine.”
“yay!”
you let out a chuckle at the memory and are interrupted by the door opening. the servant at the door is heavily panting as he speaks, “the l—lord demands to begin the ceremony right now.”
one of the maids looks at him incredulously, “what?! we still have much to prefer like the pathway to his highness and the food!”
the servant nods in understanding, “I know I swear,” he gulps, “but he is getting real impatient and has expressed the need to see her highness more than once.”
you roll your eyes and stand up, “well, tell him that we will be on our way.”
the main maid gasps, “but my lady—”
“don’t fret,” you smile, “if he asks about the unfinished tasks and preparations, I will tell him that you were working on it, but his insistence on speeding things up halted you from your duty, understood?”
they all nod hesitantly. you clap your hand and grin, “well then, lets go! I am excited to see my dear future husband.”
the maids smile nervously, still trying to come to terms with your marriage to sukuna. staying by his side as his lover is one thing, but to officially be declared his wife?
they have come to the conclusion that either you are as crazy as him underneath or you simply managed to tame him—to an extent at least.
you finally exit your room, and as you walk down the hallways, servants clear the way for you, bowing their heads as they offer you their blessings.
you look around the halls, finding them decorated with flowers already, so they are probably talking about the path in the main room.
the flowers are all of your choice, and it fills you with a sense of joy that each one that you pointed out on your outings with sukuna has been placed meticulously in the arrangement that litter the halls.
you slow down your pace, partially to soak in the view a bit more and partially to tease sukuna who is probably waiting with the last smidge of patience he can manage.
sukuna, who is sat on his throne, hand on his knee as he tapped it in waiting. he knows what you’re doing. you have always tried to test just how much you can get away with, which is admittedly a lot at this point.
for example, the first time you did something that he considered audacious is when you were strolling the gardens when you first came to the palace.
you were faced with sukuna who was stood in the place where you usually lounged.
it irked you cause he had the entire garden but chose the most secluded spot—which was usually where you sat so the servants can forget about doing any chores.
you frowned, “that is my spot.”
he quirked an eyebrow but didn’t look back at you. he let out a chuckle, “and this entire palace is mine.”
“nice try,” you quipped, “but I know the palace belongs to sukuna, the king of curses.”
at that, he turned to look at you. he leaned back against the tree, arms crossed and a cold stare on his face, “and who do you think I am, human?”
“oh—shit, okay,” you spluttered, “so you’re sukuna? you look more handsome than I thought.”
a smirked plays at the corner of his lips.
he didn’t reply to you, and you—rightfully—thought that you have dug your own grave. you started to shift your footing from your tip toes to your heel, and you looked away.
he stood up, an amused smile on his face, and he passed you, “I am expecting more from you, so don’t disappoint me.”
you tilted your head, watching his retreating figure. he had left one last comment, “but the next time I see you, I expect you to kneel at my presence.”
that was the moment that sukuna started wanting to see more of you, to see how far you could go. it was a new thing to amuse himself with, so it was more than welcome.
he just doesn’t know when it started being the other way around, because you, in fact, did not kneel.
instead, you started treating him like someone who you genuinely enjoyed their company, and it threw him off slightly; however, that is one of the reasons why he is currently waiting for you, his bride to appear.
the door finally opens, and it reveals you.
sukuna’s heart doesn’t skip a beat at how the kimono fit you exactly how he thought, how your make up was simply perfect, nor how the smile on your lips exuded both happiness and mischief.
what sukuna feels instead is booming pride.
you were always his, since the moment you entered the palace, before he even laid eyes on you. but this silly tradition simply solidifies it even more in the eyes of the others.
he smirks as you finally stand in front of him. you can barely contain your grin, “hello, future husband.”
he didn’t think that a tie to him would ever make somebody so joyed. he smirks at you, patting his lap, “you should know by now that I know you best, you silly woman.”
instantly, your expression falls, and you retort, “way to ruin the mood, king.”
amusement glints in his eyes, and he pulls you close to him, “don’t you ever get tired of giving me attitude? you ought to learn your place.”
“is it not by your side, my lord?” you hum, and he chuckles, content when you finally settle on his lap.
“damn audacious woman,” he looks up at the servants that fill the room.
they are all bowing, some trembling, others alienly still. then there is you who is swinging her feet as she sits on the lap of the king of curses.
he lets out a small breath then speaks loudly, “get the rings.”
in a moment, a servant comes in, carrying a cushion where two golden rings lay. your eyes widen at the sheer amount of patterns of gems on one of the rings.
the servant kneels in front of you two, and sukuna takes the ring decorated with gems in one hand and your hand in another. it slips perfectly onto your finger, and you raise your hand.
you feel your jaw slack a bit at how intricately made it is. and upon closer inspection, you see that one of the patterns is actually sukuna’s name.
you look up at him, and he is already looking at you with a small smirk and a confident look, “you should see the look on your face,” he muses.
he takes your hand into his and raises it slightly.
he examines it quietly before letting go. you blink confused but shrug the thought of your mind. you hold his hand in yours gently, and you put the ring on him.
his ring, contrary to yours, is a lot minimal. it’s a simple golden band, but what surprises you is that your name is etched on the surface.
“sukuna, my name…?”
he looks at the ring on his finger and flexes his hand. he looks at you simply says, “figured you would like something like this.”
you smile widely and giggle, “you know, people usually carve the name of the inside.”
“and I am not usual, am I?”
you nod gently and lean against his chest, “no, you’re not.”
you honestly didn’t know what to expect from a wedding ceremony in the ryomen sukuna “style”. however, sukuna was set on…standing out and making it a memorable event.
the room was flooded with servants carrying trays upon trays of food—all which you have noticed were your favorite—and dancers that put one of the most fascinating shows you’ve seen.
you gape at how they make their moves so effortless, which you can see through just how much practice was put into it.
you look at sukuna, and you seem him smirking down at you, clearly proud of the reaction the show has gotten out of you.
“how—how long have you been preparing for this?” you ask the man.
he glances at the dancers then replies, “6 months; I needed it to be perfect, and these humans take so long to learn things.”
“also, I know that the show I organized is great—“ he says before holding your chin and making you face him, “but that enamoured face should be directed at none other than me, got it?”
you nod frantically, not out of fear, but he is staring directly into your eyes in a way that simply is far too intense. he releases your chin, humming in satisfaction.
the dance finally comes to a close, and everybody in the room bows down to the both of you.
uraume speaks up from beside you—when did they get there—head held down humbly, “it is time for you to exchange vows, my lord and m’lady.”
vows? sukuna prepared vows?
tilting your head in confusion, you look at sukuna, and he is already looking at you. he rolls his eyes, “I didn’t prepare anything, brat; don’t get ahead of yourself.”
okay, that tracks. you give him a thumbs up.
but he is quiet for a moment before speaking up, “I have no need for that; all that you need to is that,” he leans closer to you, "you are mine, entirely and without exception, in every breath you take,” he spoke lowly against your lips, “I won’t let you forget that.”
he lets out a breath of amusement at the way your eyes widen and the glimmer behind them. he wastes no time in locking his lips with you, sealing your contract for life.
“wooo! I am married!” you say drunkenly, giggling and swaying slightly beside your now husband.
you whip your head back at him, almost falling in the process but his hand easily steadies you, “sukuna, I am married!”
“I know,” he replies, eyeing the empty cup that was full of sake. he hums, “uraume, what was the intensity in the sake?”
they both glance at you, standing on top of a table, babbling a kind of song about your marriage and being a queen now.
you nearly trip on the covers, but sukuna nods for uraume to stop your fall. they hold you up with one hand, maintaining a safe distance, so sukuna doesn’t get protective.
“high, my lord.”
you keep giggling and squealing, and he sighs, “certainly looks like it.”
he rests his chin on his palm, watching your figure run around and keeping an eye for you. however, in the corner of his eyes, he spots a couple of men staring at you, eyes full-blown and open.
it irks him that even after that display, they still dare to look at what belongs to him.
with minimal effort, he flicks his finger, and their heads go flying to the corner of the room. some of the blood splatters onto the floor, but he pays it no mind.
“ooo, red wine!”
“don’t you dare drink that, you stupid woman!”
after a while you find yourself laid down on the bed, head dazed as you try to make sense of your surroundings. you can hear a door closing, and some heavy footsteps getting closer and closer.
finally, your husband comes into view with his arms crossed. you pull on his sleeve gently, “what about the after-party?”
he sits down beside you, and you take the chance to lay your head on his lap. he allows it but grunts in response, “after-party with you all delirious like this?”
“I am fine!” you protest, huffing and giving him the most intimidating glare you can muster.
he simply flicks your forehead, and you yelp, shielding your face away from him, “you’re so rude!”
“pretty sure, you aren’t supposed to reply your king and husband like that,” he states. he squishes your face with one hand and quirks an eyebrow, “you’re testing your limits.”
“I don’t care!”
“oh?”
you note the change of tone almost instantly, and it is enough to sober you up.
you look up, wide-eyed at him, and on his face is a devious smirk, and behind his eyes are thoughts that are probably going to be the end of you tonight.
he leans down slightly, “I have a different kind of after-party in mind,” one of his hands trails to hold your wrist, “which I think you will quite like,” you try resisting for even a second, but you’re no match for him, “starting now.”
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marvelwitchergilmore · 5 months ago
Text
Unexpected Surprises
Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> Finding out your pregnant is one thing, having Logan know before you is another.
Disclaimer: Mostly fluff, descriptions of giving birth, Logan's senses are at their full power. He's also read the books. One swear word here and there. Not Proof Read.
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If someone had told you, even yesterday, that you would be sitting inside your bathroom with Logan sitting against your sink counter, waiting for a pregnancy test to show you a result he already knew…
You wouldn’t have believed them. 
They could have been cursed to tell the truth their entire lives and you still wouldn’t have believed them. 
Because it was baffling to you. 
And it had all started because Logan - of all people - knew you were pregnant. 
It had all started several weeks ago when you had met the team under the school inside Jean Grey’s lab. The others had been talking when you had arrived and slid in to stand beside Logan. 
After a moment, he sniffed. 
“What is it?”
“Have you changed your shower gel?”
You looked at him with a bewildered look. “No, why?”
“You smell different.”
“I don’t know how comfortable I am knowing you can smell me.” You said, looking up at him. You knew it was a part of his mutation; heightened senses, but it still caught you off guard every now and then. 
Logan shrugged. “I can always smell you.”
From there, you both turned to find out why you’d been called down to the lab. 
Over the next couple of weeks, Logan noticed a change in you. 
You started napping. 
For the average person, taking a nap in the middle of the day wasn’t unheard of. But for you, someone who practically lived off four to five hours a night of sleep, constantly running around the place doing things, unable to sit still long enough to even think about taking a nap….
It was unheard of. 
First it had been in the living room on the sofa whilst the kids were either out or in their rooms before they’d get called for dinner. Then in the library, the hallway on the window seat bench, the kitchen. And Logan hadn’t been the only one to find you napping. 
But he was the only one to move you from where you were and into your bedroom. 
And each day your scent was getting stronger. 
For the life of him he couldn’t put his finger on it. He had asked Jean about it but since you hadn’t come to her, or hadn’t seemed unlike your normal self, she didn’t see anything to worry about. 
Maybe your body was just finally making you listen and telling you to rest. 
But as of a week ago, you had been throwing up every meal you had. But you didn’t feel sick. Save for the twenty minutes before and after throwing up. Most of the time you felt hungry and nauseous at the same time. 
Except, you’d kept the fact you kept puking to yourself. Until a morning meeting before classes were about to start. 
“Excuse me, just a second-”
You just about managed to get out of the door and down the hallway before throwing up the toilet lid and emptying your breakfast back into the water. 
Everyone looked around concerned and Jean was about to follow you when Logan caught her by the door. “Let me.”
Logan seemed to know something the others didn’t. 
“Is she okay?”
Logan nodded, looking around before finding Charles. “She’s fine,” he replied, turning back to Jean. 
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
Closing the door behind him, Logan found you in the staff bathroom, the door unlocked. 
Knocking on, he heard you take a breath before flushing the toilet and putting the lid back down. He slowly entered before closing the door behind him and looking at you as you sat on the lid of the toilet seat. 
“Here,” Logan grabbed a fresh flannel and ran it under the tap before handing it to you and crouching on the floor so he could see you. 
“Thanks.” You took the flannel from him and placed it over your face, wiping it down before folding it over and running it down the back of your neck. “Two weeks. Two weeks and I can’t keep a meal down, but I feel normal.”
“There might be an explanation for that.”
Then you felt yourself starting to cry. 
You never cried. 
At least, Logan had never seen you cry. 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. One minute I’m flushed and wanting to throw up my internal organs, the next I was to sleep for a decade and eat nothing but sugar. Maybe I’m coming onto my period.”
“You’re not.”
You threw the flannel into the sink before looking at Logan. “What?”
“You’re not coming onto your period. You’re pregnant, Y/n.”
“Excuse me?”
Logan sighed. “I can…smell it. Your hormonal changes. And it would explain the tiredness, and the puking your guts up every five seconds. And the emotions.”
You just stared at Logan. “What?”
“If you don’t believe me, take a test. Maybe I’m wrong-”
“You are.” You told him. “I can’t be pregnant. When would I have had-”
Logan raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, “You really don’t remember?”
You looked up, away from him and towards the door, doing the maths in your head. 
“I can’t….no. No, I can’t be pregnant.”
“Look,” Logan began. “At least take a test. Just to be sure. I could be wrong…but I don’t think I am.”
The next day Logan drove you into the town and towards the local pharmacy. 
Sitting out in the car, you unbuckled your seat belt and looked at the door before turning to Logan. “Will you come in with me?”
And he did. Without question. 
Spending a few minutes searching for the tests, Logan found them and handed one over to you. “Can tell as early as…” He read the box. “Five weeks.”
You nodded before looking back at the shelf, grabbing a different box of a different brand, just to be safe. At the counter, the cashier rang up both boxes for you. Neither you or Logan missed the light smile on her face as she looked between the two of you. However, the cashier missed the slightly awkward shift from Logan as he realised what she was doing and he somehow moved both closer to you and away from you at the same time. 
“That’ll be seven, ninety five.”
You handed over a ten dollar bill and collected your change. Both yourself and Logan thanked her before shuffling away from the counter, Logan looking behind him as he opened up the door for you, finding the cashier smiling and waving you out. 
By the time you both got home, you found a note on the desk in the hallway from Xavier. They had taken the kids out on a school trip to the museum. They should be back by dinner. 
So that left you and Logan alone to stand inside your bathroom, avoiding looking at the two tests on the counter. 
“I still think it’s weird you can smell the change.” You said out loud, sat on the toilet seat, your hands interlocked with each other. “I mean…what does it even smell like?”
You unlocked your hands and pressed them between your knees, turning to look up at him as he leaned against your sink counter. 
Logan seemed a little out of it, his head somewhere else for a moment as his eyes remained fixed on the skirting board whilst he brushed a hand repeatedly across his face. 
“Huh?” He snapped out of it, brushing his face one last time before moving his hands so they were against the cold counter before crossing his feet and crossing his arms once more. “Oh, uh, I don’t know, It’s just different.”
“Like a bad different?” You asked. 
“Just…stronger, I guess. Why do you even want to know? I thought you found it weird?”
You nodded. “I do. But you can’t tell me you’ve got questions for things you find weird.”
Logan looked at you. “What? Like your ability to watch a serial killer documentary before you go to bed, yet you won’t watch horror movies?”
“I knew you found that weird!”
Logan nodded. “That’s because it is. Scott isn’t allowed near you in the month of October because you said he watches too many scary movies.”
“I can see it in his aura. Being near Scott in the month of October is like putting you next to a magnet and hoping you don’t get stuck to it. Horror movies scare me any time of year, it’s just stronger in October. And Scott watches too many.”
“Who knew the woman who used to work for the FBI, doesn’t like horror movies?”
“Technically, I worked in the labs. Not the field.”
“Still. FBI that’s afraid of a couple jumpscares on a set full of actors. Kind of ironic if you ask me.”
“Oh, please.” You replied, turned back to looking at the door. “You’re just as scared of them. Don’t think I didn’t spot the claw shaped holes in the pillow from last Halloween.”
From the corner of your eye, you saw Logan squirm. 
“How long is left on this thing anyway?”
You looked at your phone. “Twenty seconds.”
You both watched as the timer went off before looking at each other. “Ready?”
It took you a second, but you finally nodded and Logan stood back up straight. As did you before pulling the face down tests from the counter. 
Logan stood behind you, his hand absentmindedly coming to your hip as he looked over your shoulder. You closed your eyes before turning them round and took another second before finally opening them. 
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. 
Two lines. 
Both tests. 
Two, vibrant, clear from space, lines. 
And despite him being the first to know, everything suddenly felt a lot more real for Logan. 
“Oh my god,” you breathed out before you felt yourself starting to cry again. “Oh my god.”
You looked at Logan through the mirror before turning around and his arms wrapped themselves around you as you stood on your tiptoes to bury your face into his neck. 
“What do you need? Tell me what you need.”
You set yourself back on your feet, your eyes locked on Logan’s chest. “Sleep? I think.”
Logan smiled a little and brushed the hair out of your face, kissing your forehead. “Okay.”
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you…” The question disappeared. “Stay with me.”
With his eyes fixed on yours, Logan nodded. 
Laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around you whilst your legs tangled with his. And for a moment, he was transported back almost nine weeks ago when you and him had finally crossed the one line you both swore you’d never cross with each other, in a motel room, just off the highway leading back into New York. 
Neither of you woke up until a few hours later where you found yourself lay on your side, Logan’s arm around your middle with his hand gently pressed to your belly, whilst he remained behind you, a little more on his front, his face half buried in his pillow. 
Having felt you move, Logan stirred awake for a moment to fully turn onto his side. But you just kept looking at him. 
Just like you had done almost ten weeks ago when you watched the sunlight that was beginning to peek through the curtains that never just quite shut all the way, dance across his bed-ridden hair and over the muscles in his back, ghosting over where the sheet was draped over his bottom half.
And just like then, you brushed a few of the stray hairs from his face, watching his too tired muscles unable to fight off the smile on his face whilst his hand came up and held yours against him for a moment before he kissed the centre of your palm. 
“What time is it?”
“A little after four…I think. I don’t think the others are back yet.”
“I think we’d know if they were.” Logan joked a little before gazing at you. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, I think. A little less sick.”
“Good.”
You nodded for a moment before looking back at Logan. “I think I want to do this.”
Logan gave you a questioning look for a moment. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “I’m sure. If you don’t want to-”
“I want to.”
It wasn’t ever a second thought for Logan when he had come to terms with you being pregnant, as well as him being the first to know. He would have supported any decision you made, but he couldn’t help but feel a little more than happy when you confirmed his question. 
He had been in love with you ever since you had splattered midnight spaghetti sauce on your face from when you had slurped spaghetti. He had chuckled and wiped a spot from your chin with his thumb. 
Of course, he wasn’t blind.
He had always found you attractive since he first met you, but becoming your friend and falling in love with you two years later over a bowl of spaghetti as you graded papers…that was something he could have only ever dreamed of. 
That night, he thought about kissing you. But promised himself he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. You were both friends. 
And when you both almost kissed after having stepped into him whilst you were both outside looking for logs to put on the fire pit outside, he had a strong feeling you felt what he was feeling, too. 
But fear…stopped you both. 
And Rogue’s voice from shouting for you both since you’d both been gone ten minutes longer than you had planned. 
But that night in the motel room. 
Neither of you could deny it anymore. And there was no one around to interrupt. 
Maybe both of you wished it had happened a lot more smoothly. But neither of you could deny you weren’t not happy about what had happened. 
“You want to?” You rallied his words back to him, trying not to smile too much. 
Logan nodded. “I want to.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“One thing,” you said. “What do we tell the others?”
“You didn’t tell anyone what happened?”
You shook your head. “No. Work kinda got in the way.”
Which it did. A few hours after the motel, you had both gotten a call to get back to the school as quickly as you could. And work got too busy, neither you or Logan had time to talk about what happened and before you both knew it, it got too late to mention it again.
“Did you?”
Logan shook his head. “No.”
“This is gonna be a shock to their system.”
You nodded in agreement. “Maybe we don’t tell them so soon. At least wait until the twelve week scan.”
“Agreed. Accept-”
“Jean’s got to know.”
Logan nodded and clicked his teeth. 
“But we can trust her. Maybe we’ll just have to corner her in her lab before she and Scott have lunch together.”
Logan nodded. “Good idea. Does the lab even have a sonogram machine?”
You reeled back a little. “Logan…”
“What? I might have…read…a couple of books.”
You could help but smile. “You read books? On pregnancy?”
 Logan shrugged, once again trying to hide his smile. “Had to know if I was right about you being pregnant. And if I was, I wanted to know…what to expect. Just because I’m nearly 200 years old doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.”
“And the entire world takes a sigh of relief. Even the oldest man in the world doesn't know what he’s doing. Maybe we don’t have to have it all figured out right now.”
Logan smiled, his hand pressing gently against the bottom of your back, pulling you closer to him. “Maybe we don’t.”
“But we’re gonna do this together?”
Logan gave you a nod and smiled. “We’re gonna do this together.”
By the time the others got back, Logan was on cooking duty since the smell of everything was sending you into waves of sickness once again, until Logan handed you a small bag of sweets with a couple of pretzels inside that helped curb your cravings and settled the sickness. 
And, just like you had said, you found Jean in her lab just a little after Scott had left and told her what she needed to know. 
Within moments she had you lay on the examination table and Logan wheeled a chair over to be by your side whilst she scanned your stomach to find your uterus. 
“Have to say, you two took your time.”
“Huh?”
Jean smiled. “Rogue was sure something had happened that night at the firepit when she went to find you two. When she finds out she’s gonna be thrilled something did finally happen.”
You and Logan looked at each other. “Other than Rogue…how many people think that…”
“You two would finally stop being idiots and do something about it?” Jean clicked a couple of buttons on the monitor. “Everyone.”
“Everyone?!”
Jean smiled. “Yep. And now they’re gonna be thrilled. Take a look.”
Jean explained what you were looking at. “See, here their head, and their feet. They look pretty comfortable there, tucked up nice and cosy.” 
Jean did a couple other things whilst you and Logan looked at the screen, Logan’s hand taking yours in his before he kissed your palm again. 
“Wow…she’s so small.”
You looked at Logan with a smile, and tears in your eyes. “What makes you so certain it's a girl?”
Logan shrugged. “I just do.”
Squeezing his hand, you smiled and looked back at the monitor. 
“I’d put you at about a little over nine weeks. We should be able to hear a heartbeat.”
You looked a little shocked, not expecting to hear a heartbeat so soon. But Jean found it and…you breathed. Or maybe you held it. You weren’t quite sure. 
“Stay still,” Jean laughed a little. 
“Sorry,” you apologised. 
Logan held onto your hand, tears forming in his own eyes. But for two reasons. One; finally being close to you, seeing your baby and hearing their heartbeat. And two; the small thumping Logan had heard every time he was around you, almost like an echo of your own – or maybe his – had been your baby. 
The baby you were having together. 
He had been hearing their heartbeat for almost a week. 
“Logan…that’s our baby.”
There was no stopping his smile. “That’s our baby.”
With his other hand at the back of your head, his thumb making familiar strokes back and forth, he kissed you and you squeezed his hand a little tighter, never wanting to let go. 
“I’ll set this recording for you and print off a couple of pictures. Congratulations guys. You’ve got a very healthy baby.”
Jean did as she said she would and by the time you were clean of the gel and sat back up with Logan standing by your side, Jean gave you a couple of information booklets. 
“I think Logan’s already got most of it covered,” you said with a smile, catching his slightly sheepish look. “But thank you.”
Jean hugged both of you. “Congrats guys, and don’t worry. They won’t hear anything from me.”
You smiled. “Thank you.”
By the time you both got back to your room, you had one picture, as did Logan however the third one, Logan kept looking at. 
Without saying anything, you both came to an agreement and it wasn’t long before you found who you were looking for. 
Closing the library door, you checked all the spaces before confirming both yourself, Logan and Rogue were alone. 
“What’s going on?”
Coming to a stand, Rogue stood in front of Logan and you rounded the table to stand beside him. 
He held out the picture. “We wanted to give you this. Figured you should be the first to know…apart from Jean.”
Rogue took the photo in her hands from Logan, it taking a minute before it all finally clicked in her head and confirmed what she was looking at. 
Baby Y/L/N HOWLETT printed in bold white ink in the corner. 
Rogue burst into a smile and let out a small laugh before hugging both of you quickly. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!”
“But you can’t tell anyone.” Logan told her. “At least not yet.”
Rogue shook her head. “I-I won’t. I promise. Oh my god!”
She hugged you both again before stepping back. 
“I knew something was going on between you two! Congrats, guys! Oh, my god! This is just…incredible. Insane.” Then she calmed down for a moment. “Thank you for telling me.”
Logan shrugged. “Figured the kid’s Aunt would want to know first.”
Rogue smiled even brighter and then looked down at the picture lovingly. “When do you find out the gender?”
“In a couple of weeks,” you smiled, holding onto Logan’s hand and arm. “But he thinks it’s a girl.”
“You do?” Rogue asked, with a smile still prominent on her face. “You two are gonna make the best parents.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, Kid.”
And she was right. 
As was Logan when, only a few weeks later, Jean confirmed that you both were in fact going to be the proud parents of a baby girl. 
And by the time it came round to you giving birth, you may have bruised Logan’s hand as well as scared Scott into never watching a horror movie where a woman gives birth, ever again. 
Bobby had been the first to find you when you went into labour. You were hunched over the counter in the kitchen, holding onto your belly. 
“Y/n, are you okay?”
You managed to shake your head. “No.”
Then your waters broke. 
“Oh, uh, okay. Okay. Rogue!”
Practically sliding around the door, Rogue saw what was happening. “Oh, crap. Okay. Bobby, go and find Logan.”
“Do you know where he is?” 
“He’s…” you grunted through the pain. Jean had warned you that having a baby with one mutant parent might speed things along, but two? 
As you had gathered from Jean’s easy let down…
You were fucked. 
“Ugh.” You grunted. “He’s…he’s out in the gardens…they had trouble…ahh…they had trouble moving…”
“Just breathe.” Rogue assured you. “Bobby, go.”
And he did. 
“Okay, we’re gonna get you downstairs. I’ll call Jean.”
Twenty minutes later, Jean was back from her store run and rushed inside the school only to nearly collide into Logan. 
“Where is she? I can’t find her.”
“Rogue helped her down to the lab.”
When Jean and Logan finally ran inside, they found you bracing yourself on the bed as Rogue rubbed up and down your back and you felt the pain kick up a notch. 
“They’re here! They’re here. Logan.”
Logan was already on it, replacing Rogue’s hand with his own in yours. “Where the hell were you?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“How’s your pain?” Jean asked, walking back inside in her scrubs. 
“Ever been kicked by a horse in your pelvis?”
Another contraction started up and as you held onto Logan’s hand, you braced yourself on his other arm. 
Jean gave a hidden laugh from your comment and started setting everything up. 
“Just tell me when the pain stops and we can get you moved onto the bed.”
It took a moment but eventually it slowed and, with Logan’s help, you got into the hospital bed and Jean checked you over. 
It was a few more hours before you were ready to push. 
“No, I can’t. It hurts.”
“Just a few more pushes. Come on, you can do it.”
Logan held onto your hand whilst his other arm supported you around your shoulders and back. “You can do it. Just a couple more and it’ll be over.”
You groaned. “Why can’t we be seahorses? The males have to push and they’re only pregnant for ten days.”
Logan could help but laugh a little. “We can always get Chuck to come down and narrate this. He’s no David Attenbourogh but he is English.”
“Oh, shut up.” You laughed a little. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m in enough pain as it is.”
Another contraction started up and you began to push again. 
“That’s it! Good…just a little longer.”
Fifteen minutes later the room was filled with the cries of a newborn baby girl and you felt yourself cry a sigh of relief, joy and worry. 
“You did it, honey.” Logan kissed your temple. “You did it.”
“Where is she? Is she okay?”
Jean smiled and nodded. “She’s perfect. Dad? Want to do the honours?”
Logan kissed you and walked over towards Jean, his hands trailing away from yours before reaching for the scissors Jean handed him. 
Cutting the cord, Jean hurried to weigh and measure your daughter as quickly as she could before handing her over to you for skin to skin contact. 
“Oh my god, she’s beautiful.”
Logan was crying tears of happiness. “She looks just like her Momma.”
“Congrats, you guys.”
“Thank you.” 
You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She was…everything. 
Logan sat beside you on the bed, his arm above your head and the other around both of you. He saw you in her, but you saw him. 
“You guys picked a name yet?” Jean asked, standing on the other side of the bed, the camera by her side from where she’s taken a couple of photos already. 
Both yourself and Logan had been quiet about the names you had picked. 
“We haven’t decided yet.” Logan told her, his eyes never leaving his daughter. 
“But whatever it is, Marie is going to be her middle name.”
Jean smiled and took yet another picture. Everyone had been waiting years for this moment, for you and Logan to finally get together, for you both finally to realise you were both always meant to be, even before either of you knew it.
They were going to want pictures to keep forever of this moment. 
As were you two. 
And the ones Jean took were just the first of many to be taken, from everyone holding her beside you and Logan, to the big family photo with her in Logan’s arms, to the one you would always keep by your bedside of Logan holding his daughter for the first time. To birthday’s, Christmases, Easter, family dinners, first steps, first words. 
The others that made a small collection in your memory box for her, where she’s learning to walk, holding onto Logan’s fingers, climbing up her dad and going over his shoulder, finding easter eggs with Logan and Rogue, sitting in Xavier’s lap at his desk, learning to bake for the first time – a picture you didn’t know existed until you found it in the small box Logan had been keeping. He had taken the picture of you and her when you weren’t looking and had multiple copies. 
There was a picture of every moment and every memory that both of you would always treasure forever. 
And even when the sleepless nights felt endless, neither of you wanted to change it for the world.
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night-raven-tattler · 2 months ago
Text
The pains of being human
Summary: You're dealing with period related misfortunes, and you feel vulnerable... mostly because you reached a point where you had to share your predicament with someone you trusted (?).
Characters: Deuce, Floyd, Lilia and GN!Reader (separate, vague)
Warnings: mentions of menstrual products, food, medicine; discussions of periods and related symptoms (such as: bleeding, cramps, nausea, mood swings.)
By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.
-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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You were in your dorm room, stuck in a real predicament: not stocking up on your menstrual products, and leaving the room to buy yourself some seemed too risky, fearing you might get a stain and embarass yourself in front of the whole school
It wasn't a very likely situation, but the anxiety was not worth it, so you relied the first person you were close enough with to help you out: Deuce
You shot him a simple text
"i am on my period, can you buy me some products? i'll pay you back when you get here"
and expected an awkward but supportive reply, since teenage boys and periods can be like oil and water sometimes or demons and cruxes...
But the text you received in return was... mildly surprising.
"yeah sure. pads? tampons?"
"what size do you need?"
"anything else you need? painkillers? something sweet?"
You even double checked the number to make sure you didn't text anyone else
He even knew about sizes! And he thought about painkillers! You were more and more touched with each message coming through
And, with the proper instructions, Deuce was on his way to Sam's
He was not embarassed for even a second: he was there on a mission, and he accomplished it successfully without any missteps
...Well, except of his little delay, caused by a pair of nosy boys, who received their proper threats from Deuce for interrupting his mission with their toxic masculinity
He knocked at your door, and for a second he was expecting his mother to open the door; after all, she was the only one he has ever bought these things for before you
You gratefully welcomed him in, waddling your way back to your bed as you inspected the bag he brought you
"Thank you, Deuce. You're a livesaver... How much did everything cost you?"
Deuce saw the tired look on your face, the heavy lids that indicated a lack of proper sleep, and he shook his head
"It's on me this time."
You scoffed, knowing Deuce was also on a budget; as much of a sweetheart and an honors student he was, Deuce deserved to be rewarded
"...I wanna think of a compromise, but my brain is too tired right now."
You groaned, closing your eyes as you rested them for a few seconds
Deuce shook his head at you again and clicked his tongue in fond exasperation
He wanted to be nice and offer you an out, but you were dead set on being nice to him...
"...A latte."
You opened your eyes, looking at Deuce in confusion
"I'm sorry?"
"I want a latte. One of those fancy ones from that café in town. When you're done with the, uh... bear week."
A small snort escaped you as you gave Deuce an amused look
"Bear week? Not shark week?"
Deuce's eyes widened slightly, and he looked away as his cheeks grew warmer
"...Mom never called it that. She always said that fighting a bear is more likely to happen than fighting a shark... and that it sounds cooler."
You nodded, feeling very inclined to agree with his mom, and decided to steal that phrase
You were very relieved to have someone as reliable as Deuce near you, and despite the fact that Deuce wasn't the most diligent person, he always made sure to carry one of your preffered products with him at all times
No matter what kind of teases he received from anyone for it, he knew he was showing a level of care not many would
And while helping you... he was helping himself
He was still dealing with the guilt of being so embarassed when his own mom sent him to buy pads; he couldn't help his mom with such a simple thing even after everything she's done
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But he can be more careful this time... more appreciative
『••✎••』
The moment Floyd spotted you in the hallways was when things went downhill: Floyd didn't really bring sunshine and rainbows around with himself
By that point you were used to his shenanigans, but you still gave some interesting reactions
A gasp, a swat to his hand... but never tears
He wouldn't have yelled in your ear if he knew you'd burst into tears: he wasn't in the mood to deal with the aftermath
But he quickly put two and two together, seeing the way you were frozen on the spot, almost trying to pick between scolding him and saying something else
Unbeknownst to Floyd, you were simply trying to get back to your dorm after noticing a pretty sizeable stain on your pants from your period
And the anxiety from trying to go unnoticed put you on edge, making your reaction to Floyd so much worse
"...Please just get me out of here."
Your small plea came after a tense silence, in which Floyd was reading your expression with an almost uninterested look
But he still hoisted you over his shoulder without any hesitation, much to your embarassment
"Floyd...! Not like this, put me down!"
"Eh~? You're so hard to please, little discus!"
Floyd did not put you down, of course
It was causing a bit of a scene, so you decided that, in the end, you'll take whatever got you to your dorm room the fastest
"Alright, fine...! Just get me to my dorm then!"
"Boooring! Why can't we go somewhere more fun?"
Floyd complained while going in the direction of your dorm
"Because I'm not in the mood for fun, Floyd! I..."
Your cheeks turned red, realising you almost revealed something too personal
To your surprise, Floyd didn't point it out; he just pouted as he walked towards your dorm
You reached your dorm room soon thanks to Floyd's long legs, and you were able to change into fresh clothes, easing your anxiety and making you feel like crying from relief
Until you realised Floyd was still in your room, even after you told him you'd be having no fun together today
He looked you up and down, his face betraying his confusion
"Now can you tell me why you were smelling like blood? Did anyone do something? Do I get to deliver a revenge plan and squeeze some aquarium fish?"
Floyd's almost sadistic delivery did not phase you at all, and all you were thinking was that of course Floyd noticed
You had no other option but to explain
"I just... got a blood stain from my, uh... my period..."
Silence.
"...What do classes have to do with that?"
Your eyes widened as you came to a horrifying conclusion: Floyd couldn't know what period were, because he was a merman
You saw your short life flash before your eyes in horror at the prospect of having to explain periods to a teenager... when Floyd just burst into laughter
"Oh, you actually believe that! You are so funny!"
Much to your relief, Floyd's confusion was just a prank; he figured you had your period before you even said anything
He revealed that he took classes about humans, their customs and anatomy when he first decided to come on land
And he also dodged the pillows you threw at him with practiced ease
It was the last time you even talked about it: neither of you brough it up again, and you didn't know how to feel about it
On one hand, you were relieved, but on the other hand, you expected Floyd of all people to ask questions and be all annoying about it
But Floyd didn't really care about things like that
In fact, he found your periods hilarious: your mood swins in particular were funny, and he almost enjoyed making things that you could digest
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And he would never admit it, but he felt proud when you seemed to feel a bit better after he helped you during your period
『••✎••』
Every once in a while, you found yourself being enveloped in a hug from behind from the old bat
He would either hand you a piece of homemade chocolate by him or some cute trinket he thought sould cheer you up
Lilia was a very cute individual, and he was surprisingly affectionate for someone who was definitely a teenager and not a retired war veteran attending highschool, so you never questioned it
...until you found Lilia wrapping his jacket around your torso gingerly from behind
"...There we go. Not too tight?"
His cute, softer voice vibrated through your back as he still was glued to you
"It's... not, but why did you..."
"Oh, haven't you heard? Jackets wrapped around waists are the latest fad! It's cool and chic!"
You didn't argue with him on it, especially after you tried to untie the jacket from your waist and were blocked by Lilia, who was still holding you from behind
The proximity was getting to you, and you felt your cheeks flushing, your knees growing a bit weak, your stomach doing flips-
Wait, no. That wasn't butterflies in your stomach, that was a sharp pain from... lower
As you put two and two together, Lilia started walking you down the hallway into a secluded classroom, his hand around your waist and making you two look as casual and unassuming as always
The moment Lilia closed the door of the abandoned classroom, you his your face in your hands from embarassment
"Oh, my god... This can't be happening to me..."
The tone in your voice betrayed how mortified you felt, but was glad that you had this realisation away from prying eyes
You didn't even realise the leak, since you were already using products, and it already felt like you leaked blood all the time...
Lilia only chucked at your realisation
"Khee hee... Someone was a bit caught off guard today, huh?"
Your pathetic whimper was the only answer Lilia received, and his eyes sparkled with mirth
He still brought out his magical pen and waved it gently in the air, muttering something under his breath
"Take that jacket off and turn around for me?"
You did as he instructed, but only because you felt more... dry, all of a sudden
Lilia hummed in delight as he saw the spot being gone, his spell working
"Good. No more damning evidence... Now all you gotta do is go on your merry way."
You sighed in relief and slipped onto an empty chair, letting the small rollercoaster of emotions settle down within you
Lilia was nothing short of a lifesaver, and he handled the situation with so much grace that it left you speechless
When you asked about it, he just laughed
"I'm no stranger to blood."
That was all he said... Not ominous at all /s
Still, you were very grateful at the way Lilia handled everything
Since then, he started being even more doting on you whenever you were in your period
He was almost... motherly in a way
And for some reason, the idea of Lilia as a parental figure didn't seem too far fetched...
He always was on the lookout for any other accidents and even tried talking you into trying the reusable alternatives for your products
What surprised no one was when he became even more eager to supplement you with nutritional food whenever you were low on energy
And so much more disappointed when your nausea made his food somehow even worse to be around
『••✎••』
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reidsworld · 6 months ago
Text
Unveiled Secrets
Summary: The BAU team has a sneaking suspicion that their stoic leader, Aaron Hotchner, is in a relationship, but they don't know the extent of it.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Content Warnings: Jack and Haley do not exist in this, kissing, cuddling, allusions to sex, light teasing, use of Y/N, pet names (my love, baby), that’s it I think, lmk if I missed any! Oh and pure fluff!
Word Count: 1.8k
Mars speaks… hi my loves, I was motivated to write so I am using this to figure out my writing style a bit and how I want to format my works! I’ve been going through a bit of a Hotch phase lately so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Masterlist
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The BAU office was slowly quieting down as the day turned to dusk, the last rays of sunlight casting long shadows across the desks. Aaron Hotchner, head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, stood in his office, the soft light of his desk lamp highlighting the stress lines that had deepened over the years. He checked his watch—almost time to go home. A rare, soft smile touched his lips, a sight reserved for only one person.
He closed the case file on his desk, slipping it neatly into his briefcase before reaching for his jacket. His phone buzzed just as he picked it up, and he glanced at the screen to see a text from you, Can’t wait to see you. Should I pick up dinner?
That smile of his deepened as he quickly typed a reply, I’ll pick it up on my way home. See you soon, my love.
He hadn’t planned on keeping his relationship with you a secret, nor did he have any grand strategy for revealing it. He assumed that given time, his team would figure it out on their own. After all, they were profilers—eventually, they would notice the subtle shifts in his behaviour, the unexplained absences, the slightly more relaxed demeanour after particularly stressful cases. He hadn’t intended to hide it forever, just until they pieced it together.
As he opened the door to his office, however, he nearly collided with Spencer Reid, who was walking by, engrossed in a file. Reid looked up, startled, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Sorry, Hotch! I didn’t see you there."
"It’s alright, Reid," Hotch replied, a calmness in his voice that belied the momentary flicker of surprise in his eyes. He wasn’t often caught off-guard, especially not in the safety of his own office.
Reid, however, had a habit of noticing things others missed. His eyes flickered to the phone still in Hotch’s hand, the screen just dimming from inactivity. Before Hotch could slip it into his pocket, Reid’s sharp eyes caught your name on the screen. His brow furrowed in confusion as he processed the information.
“Y/N, as in the academy’s Y/N?” Reid asked, the question out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
Hotch froze for a fraction of a second, but it was enough for Reid’s sharp mind to pick up on the anomaly. Reid’s brain worked at lightning speed, connecting dots that others might have missed. He knew Hotch was fiercely private, but this reaction was new.
“Goodnight Reid” Aaron replied, quickly, shutting down any further questioning that may have come from the young genius.
Reid blinked, taken aback, but his curiosity was now piqued. However, years of working with Hotch had taught him when to push and when to back off. “Have a good evening, Hotch.”
As Reid walked away, Hotch let out a slow breath. This wasn’t how he wanted the team to find out, though he couldn’t say he was surprised. He had always assumed it would be Reid who would notice first; the young profiler missed nothing. Still, he had hoped for a bit more time. But the cat was out of the bag now, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the team found out.
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The next morning, the BAU office was abuzz with more than the usual activity. Reid’s brief encounter with Hotch had set off a flurry of curiosity and speculation among the team. They were profilers, after all, and even the smallest clues could ignite their imaginations.
“I’m telling you, something’s definitely going on with Hotch,” Reid said as the team gathered in the bullpen before their morning briefing. He couldn't shake the image of your name on Hotch's phone from his mind.
JJ, trying to keep things under control, said, “Come on, guys, it could just be a friend. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Morgan leaned back in his chair, a knowing grin on his face. “Reid’s onto something. Hotch has been acting a bit differently lately. He’s not staying late like he used to.”
“And he’s been smiling more often,” Garcia added, her excitement barely contained. “The man’s practically glowing sometimes.”
Rossi, with a teasing tone, suggested, “Maybe he’s just getting better sleep. But I have to admit, there’s definitely something different.”
Garcia’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Don’t you want to know? If Hotch is seeing someone, that’s huge!”
Rossi shrugged, still smirking. “Of course, I’m curious. But let’s give him some space. If he wants us to know, he’ll tell us. And if we’re lucky, we might even get to meet her.”
Prentiss grinned, "Do you think it’s serious? Like, she’s ‘the one’?”
“I think,” Rossi said thoughtfully, “if Aaron is keeping this under wraps, it’s because it’s important to him. He wouldn’t be so secretive if it wasn’t serious.”
Just then, Hotch entered the bullpen, and the conversation quickly shifted to a quieter, more focused buzz. The team members turned to their desks, but the air was charged with unspoken questions and speculative glances. Hotch, sensing the change in atmosphere, gave a brief nod before heading to his office.
As the day dragged on with paperwork and case briefings, the undercurrent of curiosity remained. The team exchanged looks, clearly eager to discuss Hotch’s secret, but they were careful to avoid bringing it up directly. The excitement about Hotch’s personal life was palpable, and everyone was waiting for the right moment to address the topic.
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Later that evening, Aaron finally headed home after a long day. As he walked through the front door, he found you curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, and a glass of wine in your hand. You looked up from the book you were reading, a smile spreading across your face when you saw him.
“Hi, baby, how was your day?” you asked, setting the book aside as he walked over to you.
“Tiring,” he admitted, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “And eventful. Reid saw a text from you last night.”
Your eyes widened in surprise. “Oh no. What did he say?”
“He asked if it was from you,” Aaron said, sitting down beside you. “I shut him down, but I think I gave myself away. The team’s been acting strange all day.”
You chuckled, leaning your head on his shoulder. “So, they’re onto us?”
He nodded, slipping an arm around you and pulling you closer. “It was bound to happen eventually. I just didn’t expect it to be now.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner,” you said, your fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “They are profilers, after all.”
He smiled down at you, his expression softening. “I never planned on keeping it a secret forever. I just figured they’d figure it out on their own time.”
“So, what’s the plan?” you asked with a playful grin.
He sighed, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your shoulder. “I suppose it’s time to tell them. They’re already curious, and I’d rather they hear it from me than through rumours.”
“You know they’ll be happy for you,” you said, squeezing his hand. “For us.”
“I know,” he agreed. “But there’s a part of me that’s nervous. I’ve always kept my personal life separate from work, but with you… it’s different.”
You leaned up and kissed him softly, the warmth of the moment lingering between you. “We’ll do it together, then. When you’re ready.”
Aaron’s gaze softened, but a playful glint sparkled in his eyes as he pulled you closer. “Right now, I want to do anything but think about the team,” his voice dropped to a low murmur.
You felt the heat of his words and smiled, leaning in closer. “Sounds perfect,” you whispered, as he nuzzled against you, his lips brushing yours with a grin.
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A few days later, Rossi had decided to host a dinner party for the team. The team was eager to catch up and enjoy the evening. Aaron knew it was the perfect opportunity to introduce you to the team as his girlfriend. 
As the doorbell rang, Rossi answered the door to find Hotch standing beside you. As you both entered the living room, the atmosphere in the room shifted instantly as Hotch introduced you with a genuine smile.
“I’d like you to meet Y/N, my girlfriend,” Hotch said, his voice steady but warm. 
The room fell into a stunned silence before erupting into excitement. Garcia’s face lit up with recognition and delight. “Oh my God! It’s Y/N! I knew it was someone! This is incredible!”
Morgan’s grin widened as he approached. “So, this is the elusive woman behind Hotch’s new smile! You’ve been keeping us in the dark for too long, Hotch.”
JJ smiled warmly as she extended her hand. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Y/N, we’re really happy for both of you.”
Reid, ever the profiler, couldn’t resist asking, “How long have you two been together?”
Hotch laughed softly, putting an arm around you and smiling fondly. “Almost five months now. Y/N works as the unit chief for the BSU in the academy. I met her when she invited me to guest lecture.”
Garcia’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “I knew it! You two have that perfect power couple vibe. We have to plan another get-together so we can hang out more!”
Rossi, enjoying the moment, gave Hotch a friendly pat on the back. “Well, I guess this means you won’t be around for poker nights as often.”
Hotch chuckled. “I’ll still make time for poker nights, don’t worry.”
As the evening continued, the team enjoyed getting to know you better. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, light-hearted teasing, and genuine happiness for Hotch and you.
“So, when do we get to do this again?” Garcia asked eagerly.
Hotch smiled, feeling content. “Soon. We’ve been talking about having you all over for dinner. Now seems like the perfect time.”
As the team chatted and enjoyed the evening, Aaron felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Introducing you to his team had been a significant step, but their warmth and support made it all worthwhile. The thought of merging his work family with his personal life filled him with quiet joy.
As the party wound down and the team began to leave, Morgan gave Hotch a sly grin. “You know, Hotch, we’re happy for you, but don’t think we won’t give you a hard time about keeping this a secret for so long.”
Hotch chuckled, appreciating the camaraderie. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
With that, the team said their goodbyes and headed home, their spirits high. Hotch followed them, feeling grateful for the support of his team and looking forward to the future with you.
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Mars speaks... (again) Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Also, would anyone be interested if I wrote for other fandoms such as F1 and Marvel? Any feedback is greatly appreciated🫶
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draconic-desire · 8 months ago
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🔶 Rex Dracorum 🔶
Yandere Zhongli x Reader
At this year’s Lantern Rite, you happen to cross paths with a dragon, much to the chagrin of the one who holds you in the palm of his hand. The result has you trapped between them.
Warnings: Very brief mention of nsfw at the end, implied kidnapping, forced relationship, yandere behavior. Basically my version of what would have happened if Zhongli and Neuvillette actually met at the Rite…
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Despite the contract irrevocably binding you to the Lord of Geo, its progenitor allows you a surprising number of freedoms.
Sometimes, you can pretend like he didn’t steal your life away with a simple signature. That he didn’t back you into a corner, making you decide between two evils: to be his wife and mate, or watch as everything and everyone you ever cherished suffer the wrath of the rock.
Why me?, you would plead aloud, desperate for any loophole, any escape from your contract. Why a mortal geologist with only a few mora to her name?
You’re one of the few who appreciates the rock over the gem, my precious lapis, he’d reply cryptically. Always riddles and non-answers, layered statements garnished with polished words.
If you could reverse time, you would have refused his invitation for tea that first time. Little did you know that each of those subsequent meetings, each time you spent listening to his fantastical tales shared between steaming cups, you were digging your grave a foot deeper, his hold on you constricting an inch further.
Perhaps if you had rejected him outright, he would have viewed you not as a unique mineral, but as another insignificant pebble in a sea of endless, colorless sediment. As no more than the dirt beneath his boot.
Instead, you must seek refuge from him and his stifling, suffocating presence in the times between the cracks, like now, as you take in the transformed Liyue Harbor, adorned with lights and colors brighter than any precious stone.
Hailing from Liyue, the Lantern Rite has always been a time of celebration and reflection for you and your family. Now it represents one of the only times the invisible shackles are lifted from your frame.
Although Zhongli does initially insist on walking you through the harbor, arms interlocked as he parades you around while monologuing about Liyue’s rich history, he permits you to venture off on your own and explore while he entertains his associates or work clients during the day. Although you know there are constantly eyes on you, usually a certain grumbling yaksha, this precious time almost feels like normal.
Today, you’ve decided on a stroll through Qiaoyang Village. The quiet, leisurely existence that its inhabitants have adopted fills you with a rare tranquility. Walking at a slow pace among the many street vendors, the scent of tea leaves, fresh mint and spices, permeates your nose, beckoning you forward. Your tea stocks at home are getting a bit low, you mentally remark, and having some of your own gives you an excuse to occasionally opt out of the times Zhongli wants to drag you out again.
Your mind set, you turn to find yourself a fraction of a second from running straight into a wall of boxes.
No—looking down, you spot a pair of black and gold boots, leading up to black trousers and elegant blue robes. A pair of matching gloves holds the boxes in place. There’s actually a person carrying all of those parcels.
Due to the boxes obscuring their view, they notice you too late—with startlingly quick reflexes, they manage to avoid running into you, but given their sudden halt mid-step, the boxes in their arms go toppling to the ground.
You gasp at your stupidity and immediately drop to your knees to maintain the stranger’s fallen goods. Embarrassed at your carelessness, you stumble over your words. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t see you—”
A gloved hand rests on your own scrambling fingers, calming your frantic attempt to organize the items. “No apologies necessary. I am the one at fault for not being more alert.”
Turning to face the stranger, who is now crouching beside you, the air in your lungs extinguishes as your eyes lock.
Undoubtedly, this man is one of the most handsome individuals you’ve ever laid eyes on.
Long, silver hair cascades around his sharp, defined features: almond eyes with striking lilac irises, high cheekbones and full lips, a tall, muscular frame clearly sculpted with subtle muscle. His attire—sapphire robes, adorned with lighter accents and intricate whirls of ocean blues—is clearly of expensive taste and sophistication. The jabot and dewdrop pendant around his neck suggest he’s Fontainian, perhaps associated with the court there.
You must look like a gaping fish out of water, for the man helps you to your feet with a kind smile. “I must have given you quite the startle. Are you feeling alright?”
His deep baritone rings through you, similar yet so unlike the proud voice of the Geo Archon you’ve grown accustomed to. Blinking twice, you regain your bearings and pray to the Seven—excluding one in particular, who would be very unhappy with you—that the man didn’t notice you gawking at him. “Ah, yes, I’m fine. Again, I’m very sorry for being so distracted. If any of your items are damaged, I’m more than happy to pay for replacements.”
“That is quite generous of you, but I can assure you that won’t be necessary. You see, these boxes merely contain tea, nothing more.” To prove his claim, he bends down to retrieve a box that opened when it landed, revealing simple, sealed bags of leaves.
Your shoulders sag in relief. It truly seems like no damage was done. “Well, at least let me help you wrap them up together. I know a trick that will make carrying them all much easier.”
The white-haired male nods, followed by a subtle smile. “That’s very kind of you. I accept your proposal.”
After a quick stop at another stall to buy twine, you start to work on binding the boxes together. You count more than ten in total—who needs that much tea, anyway? The amount of it is almost comical, but you can’t bring yourself to actually poke fun of the man. Not when he’s looking at you with such an endearing smile. Like he’s seeing you, not just the wife of the Lord of Geo.
Your face heats. “So,” you start, trying to focus on your knots and ties and not the stranger’s eyes boring into you, “can I ask why you’re carrying so much tea?”
“Well, I originally was transporting some goods back to Fontaine for my friends and colleagues, but I decided to partake myself. It was buy ten boxes get half off,” he replies, as calmly as if he were stating an obvious fact.
You can’t help it. A giggle escapes your lips as you quirk your head to the side. The innocence with which this man admitted to being scammed endears you greatly, and you can’t help but play along with him. “You know, that’s a pretty good deal.”
He smiles, then, a subtle thing paired with a tinge of pink along his cheeks. “I thought so, too.”
Your smile grows in tandem. Speaking to others, especially other men, without your husband hovering above the conversation is quite rare for you these days—though you have no doubt you’ll be questioned about it later once Xiao reports the encounter to him, if he hasn’t already—
A hand rests on your shoulder, the landing a bit too heavy and the grip a bit too tight. “Ah, my beautiful wife. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
The sound of Zhongli’s voice sends a jump through your bones. Archons, you knew you were being followed, but you’ve never been located and corralled this quickly. A flame of indignation, which has long since dimmed from an inferno to a mere flicker, sparks in your chest. You’re rightly upset that your time has been cut short, and even before you learned this interesting and undeniably attractive foreigner’s name.
You look up at Zhongli and open your mouth to explain the situation, that you were merely helping the other man secure his absurd amount of tea boxes, but the words die in your throat.
The Lord of Geo’s amber gaze is sharp and deadly as stone, directed at the other man. His jaw tightens and he grinds out, “Neuvillette.”
The silver-haired man’s eyes narrow as his gaze roams from the hand on your shoulder to meet Zhongli’s glower. “Rex.”
Your brow furrows in confusion as you glance back and forth between the two men who look two moments away from ripping each other to ribbons. It’s obvious they know each other, and the name Neuvillette rings a bell of recognition in your mind. But what really concerns you is the term by which Neuvillette called Zhongli. To your knowledge, no one refers to your captor as Rex Lapis except Xiao, who knows of his draconic—
Oh. Oh.
The realization slams into you with a wave of clarity as your head slowly turns toward the other man. The silver, slitted pupils, the shimmering blue horns and pointed ears, the aura of power and hydro around him…
Horrified, your mouth falls open as you truly take in this man, Neuvillette.
No, not a man. The restored leader of Fontaine, the Hydro Sovereign.
You’ve been casually conversing with not only a dragon, but also the Chief Justice of the Region of Justice. One of the original powerhouses of Teyvat, from which the Seven gained their gnoses. And, given the death of the Hydro Archon, there is currently only one in existence restored to their full power.
“Shit,” you breathe, a bit too loudly. Purple and gold irises snap to you in sync, one filled with thinly veiled concern and questioning and the other with building anger and possession.
On cue, Zhongli snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you taut against his side. You swear you feel the hint of claws digging into your skin through the fabric of your dress, the remnants of his exuvia form.
“I had hoped to avoid meeting you here,” Zhongli states, eyes roaming over the scene, the scattered tea boxes, the twine in your hand, as he pieces together the situation, “but my wife is too kind for her own good sometimes.”
Neuvillette’s eyes browse over your form, examining your tense muscles and downtrodden eyes, the arms that remain at your sides. He’s seen cases just like this time and time again in court, but even so, it doesn’t take a legal profession to ascertain that you’re not particularly fond of your husband. And given Morax’s propensity for contracts, Neuvillette’s senses immediately go on alert.
The Chief Justice clears his throat. “Not at all. I think it quite generous of her to have dedicated her time to making my travels easier.” He tries to give you a reassuring smile, but you’re too focused on Zhongli who, despite his collected demeanor, you realize is a thread away from snapping.
Just what kind of battle between dragons have you gotten yourself into the middle of?
“Is that so? Perhaps she took pity on an old man such as yourself. I hear it can be difficult to carry so much after you’ve departed from your prime.”
“Old man?” Neuvillette barks a laugh, but quickly coughs and regains his composure. “Quite ironic coming from you, Rex. Besides, I feel quite reinvigorated these days. One can only assume it’s due to the balances of power returning to their rightful due.”
Zhongli flashes a hint of his canines, the only giveaway to his building rage. “Rightful is quite a biased term. We wouldn’t want to start a war now, would we?”
Neuvillette’s eyes glint like a sword ready for battle. “And you would know quite a bit about inciting wars, wouldn’t you, Rex?”
Dear Archons, you need to stop this before these two lunge at each other’s throats.
“Zhongli,” you try to placate with a soft voice, the name and tone you know he so adores from you, “I believe that Neu—uh, the Chief Justice was on his way back to Fontaine. I only wanted to help him wrap up his purchases correctly for the journey. If we assist him together, then we can head to the Pavilion for tea after, yes?” Part of you is disgusted at yourself for having to grovel, but you can’t allow two immensely powerful draconic beings to brawl over tea in the middle of the village.
Though you have an strong inkling that the argument isn’t over tea.
Your suggestion lands. Zhongli’s muscles relax as he peers down at you, those immovable, amber eyes softening slightly as he drinks you in. The roaming hands across your back and waist, however, hint that you’ll be getting an earful in private. Though of the likely punishments he has in store for you, that’s the least of your worries.
With a single snap of his fingers, Zhongli uses the power of geo to bind Neuvillette’s parcels together. “There. Consider the issue resolved. My wife and I have matters to attend to.”
Zhongli quickly begins to pull you away, and you think you hear a growl over your shoulder from Neuvillette’s direction. “Careful, Rex. I would be most displeased to have to take one of your contracts to court. In the face of the law, they aren’t as omnipotent as you believe them to be.”
You wince, the statement hitting a bit too close to home. Zhongli, on the other hand, goes as still as stone. “That sounds awfully like a threat, Neuvillette.”
“A mere warning. It is of your own fault to read too deeply into it.”
Neuvillette then turns his attention to you, placing a single tea box into your shaking hands. You have no clue when he separated it from the rest.
Leaning in, his voice drops, low enough to be directed to you, yet you know Zhongli hears it clearly. “You are more than welcome to Fontaine. I will see to your accommodations personally, if you so choose to visit. I believe a spirit like yours would be greatly appreciated in our nation.”
All you can do is shake your head forlornly. Never in a million lifetimes will Zhongli allow it, not even before this encounter. You’ll have to settle for seeing Fontaine through your dreams alone.
Straightening with a frown but understanding the position you must be in, of the contract that binds you to the Geo Archon, Neuvillette lets the matter drop. He turns to leave, but not before throwing over his shoulder, “And her name isn’t wife, Rex. It’s…”
You swallow thickly. “(Y/n),” you finish, a mere breath.
Neuvillette gives you a final smile in return. “My offer will always stand, (Y/n). Happy Lantern Rite.”
Moments after he’s out of sight, Zhongli dips his nose into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and rubbing his over your skin. “You stink of that other male…but I know how to amend that.”
Needless to say, you did not make it to tea that afternoon.
It wasn’t until that night when Zhongli was asleep, clawed limbs and scaly tail entangled with your naked form, that you deem it safe to open the tea box Neuvillette gifted to you.
Core pounding, you grimace as you stand, the many possessive and claiming bite marks and bruises across your skin even worse than usual. He didn’t lie about wiping any scent of the other dragon away, if the past few hours of nonstop sex were any indication.
You make your way to the kitchen trash, where Zhongli had immediately disposed of it upon arriving home. Heart pounding, you lift the lid.
A shimmering blue vision reflects in your pupils.
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irisintheafterglow · 22 days ago
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bsf!shoto doesn't understand when being punctual went out of style.
when you swing open your front door the instant he was about to knock, you startle backward like you'd seen a ghost.
"oh, wow." your eyes are wide open and your mouth gapes before snapping shut. "you're, uh, here very early," you manage to say, turning back inside and kicking the door the rest of the way open with your foot. he follows behind you as you hurry back to your bathroom, your makeup halfway done and seven possible outfits laid on your bed. he follows you through the hallway, stopping only a moment to glance at a baby photo of you on the wall. he'd seen the photos hundreds of times, but he found it amusing that you made the same face of surprise when you were little.
"i am ten minutes before our agreed upon meeting time, is that distressing?"
"not distressing, just surprising. in my experience," you continue while patting glitter on the inside corner of your eyelid, "guys don't usually show up on time for dates."
"well, it's a good thing i'm not other guys, then," he smirks and you roll your eyes with a poorly hidden grin. "i also didn't need to waste time picking you flowers--"
"since most of the stuff makes me sneeze anyway," you finish for him, your cheeks warm under the dusting of powder blush. you had known shoto for nearly three quarters of your life, yet it still caught you off guard every time he said something that told you he'd been paying attention to you. "very thoughtful of you." your eyes meet his in the mirror, flicking to his broad shoulder leaning against the doorframe. "staring is rude."
"then you're a hypocrite," he immediately counters with no change in tone, the only indication of his smugness the slightest narrowing of his eyes. his expression turns thoughtful, fond almost. he smiles softly and the endearment makes your cheeks warm even more. "i like that color. the one on your eyes."
"mmm, i know it's your favorite," you reply coyly. shoto's eyes drag from your face down the rest of your body, something different flickering across his face. "something wrong?"
"no, you just...you look beautiful," he manages to say.
"i'm wearing pajamas and all might socks that have at least three holes. in each sock," you chuckle, turning to him over your shoulder. "i certainly don't feel beautiful."
"i can fix that."
"what?"
"what?" he blinks at you, dumbfounded, and you giggle at his slip-up. "who said that?"
"you're funny, sho." you try to ignore the way his eyes follow every movement of your hands as they swipe color over your lips and make last adjustments to your lashes. when you're done, he steps out of your way so you can take your numerous outfit choices to the bathroom, settling down next to your bed to help you decide like he'd done before. "this is a little different, you know," you say through the crack in bathroom door as you tug on your first arrangement. "before, you were helping me decide what to wear for school award ceremonies and stuff like that."
"i could still do that, if you want," he replies with complete sincerity. "i do still want to do that."
"it's a little weird to be dating your best friend, since i feel like you already know all the things that would make me a terrible person to date," you continue and he falls silent on the other side of the door, prompting you to peek out of the bathroom. "sho? is everything okay?"
"yes, everything is fine." there's the slightest dip in his perfect eyebrows that tell you otherwise.
"the 'no lying' rule carries over from friendship to dating, you know," you remind him casually and step out completely, turning in a circle for the full effect. "what do you think?"
"i think that's a bit...warm," he states bluntly. you blink at him and half expect him to laugh, but he doesn't. he's dead serious about you being too warm.
"i am a little warm, yes," you admit in your thick sweater and fleece stockings. "but, i'd also like to dress warmer than i need to because it's so much easier to cool off than it is to warm up."
"i can do both of those things for you," shoto declares. "why wouldn't i do both of those things for you?"
"i don't want you to hassle and need to use your quirk on date night." your voice trails off but he's having none of it.
"is this what you mean by 'things that make you a terrible person to date?' planning ahead so you're not a burden?" you shift your weight uncomfortably under his gaze and can't muster any other answer but shrugging.
"i just...i don't want you to need to change to accommodate me, now that we're together," you explain quietly. he stands and takes your hands in his, lacing your fingers together without a second thought. "if it's easier for me to be uncomfortable and you to be comfortable--"
"why is both of us being comfortable not a possibility?" he asks, tilting his head forward slightly. "why can you prioritize me but i cannot prioritize you?" you have no further argument but his point is hammered home. "do you love me as you wish to?"
"wholeheartedly."
"then let me love you as i wish to. wholeheartedly."
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wendichester · 1 month ago
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i feel like both the boys would be very warm and/or run very warm, they'd have heat almost radiating off them?? maybe it's the hypervigilance or worry of something going wrong that makes them and their blood on alert 😭
and oh to take advantage of that in both platonic or romantic ways; having them as your personal heaters, putting bare cold hands on their biceps / shoulders/ back and them freaking out and sometimes worrying like?? you sure you good? 😟
a girl can dream 🫒🔥
₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹ cold hands,
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summary. cold hands, warm bodies, an easy fix
pairing. dean winchester x reader ; sam winchester x reader
wordcount. 225 ; 390.
notes. but of course, they would be the best heaters. just sliding your hands up dean's back or stealing sam's clothes... ooof, that would be the d-r-e-a-m .ᐟ
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The bunker’s kitchen was colder than usual, the kind of chill that seeped through the walls and settled deep in your bones. You shuffled in wearing your thickest socks and the fuzziest sweater you owned, but it still wasn’t enough.
Dean was standing by the stove, flipping pancakes with one hand while sipping coffee from a chipped mug in the other. The smell was comforting, but not nearly as comforting as the warmth radiating off him.
“Morning,” he grumbled, not even looking up as you approached.
“Morning,” you replied, your voice muffled by the steam rising from the griddle. Without much thought, you reached out and pressed your freezing hands against his back.
“Jesus Christ!” Dean jerked forward, almost spilling his coffee. “What the hell, sweetheart?”
You laughed, not even bothering to remove your hands. His body was like a furnace, the heat soaking into your palms instantly. “You’re so warm. I need this. Don’t move.”
Dean twisted to look at you over his shoulder, his brows furrowed but his lips twitching with amusement. “Are you sure you’re not dying? Your hands are like ice.”
“I’m fine,” you said, pressing closer. “You’re just my personal heater now. Accept it.”
Dean sighed dramatically, setting his coffee down. “You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered, leaning back slightly to let you soak up more of his warmth.
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The bunker’s library was a sanctuary most days, but tonight, it was an icebox. You shivered, wrapping your arms around yourself as you wandered in, spotting Sam buried in a pile of books. He was sitting at the table, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, his brow furrowed as he flipped through pages of an old tome.
“Hey,” you greeted, voice slightly muffled by the blanket draped over your shoulders.
Sam looked up, his warm hazel eyes softening when he saw you. “Hey. You okay? You look cold.”
“Because I am cold,” you replied, tugging the blanket tighter.
Sam frowned, his concern immediate. “You should’ve said something.”
“I figured I’d find you instead,” you teased, stepping closer.
Before he could reply, you slipped your icy hands onto his bare forearm. Sam jolted, eyes wide. “Whoa! Your hands are freezing!” He grabbed them gently, cradling your fingers between his much warmer palms. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
You nodded, laughing softly at his reaction. “I’m fine, Sam. Just cold.”
Shaking his head, Sam released your hands only to reach for the hem of his sweater. “Here,” he said, tugging it off in one smooth motion and revealing a snug white T-shirt underneath. “Take this.”
You blinked in surprise as he held it out to you. “Sam, you don't have—”
“I have, and you will,” he interrupted, his tone firm but kind. “You’re freezing, and I’m fine.”
With a hesitant smile, you took the sweater. It was warm from his body heat and smelled faintly of his soap and shampoo. Pulling it over your head, you were instantly enveloped in his comforting warmth. The sleeves were comically long, nearly swallowing your hands, and the hem fell well past your hips.
“How do I look?” you asked, grinning as you did a little spin.
Sam chuckled, leaning back in his chair to take you in. “Like you raided my closet.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you replied, sinking into the chair across from him, the sweater already doing wonders to chase away the chill.
Sam smiled, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he returned to his book. “If you get cold again, just tell me, alright? Don’t freeze yourself trying to be tough.”
“Deal,” you said, tugging the oversized sleeves over your hands as you relaxed into the warmth.
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want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery
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