#i don't have the most faith in it but i truly want it to stick the landing

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Oof ep 18-19 was a bit of a mess for me but the latter half of 19 was wild in a good way.

I really wish the show had the space (and maybe the intention?) to slow-burn its way through the plot because transitions/interludes/passage of time are not really its strong suits and it makes the overall story incredibly bumpy. At the same time I think I prefer binge-ing the episodes so maybe the wait and the smaller doses also contribute to the choppiness I'm feeling (in addition to the missing—what word am I looking for, cartilage?—between scenes).

Also this is trivial but ZYC's costume changes give me a lot of whiplash personally lmao. I lowkey wish there was a bit more rhyme and reason for when he's suddenly in a different (incredibly intricate and gorgeous) outfit or his hair or silhouette is drastically different. Even just a "he's fussy about his appearance/never wears the same thing the same way twice" would be nice for me given everyone else's costume changes are a bit more subtle.

Anyway, crazy things are happening and I do not know how I feel about them!! There's a fair amount I'm looking forward to and a lot that I'm not passing judgment on yet because this show, like MJTY, withholds a lot of information. But I'm pretty uncertain whether what I want to eventually see will pay off enough or whether it'll just go by way too quickly or heavy-handedly for me—but I guess that's what fanfiction is for (-:

[loveemagicpeace]

🦭Astro Notes💋🎧

🌊The people with whom you will share the most dark times or turn to in difficult times will be the people with whom you have 8th house synastry.

🌙When u have water moon u have very intense way of showing your emotions. And many times you feel things and people around you very deeply. Water moons have a very hard time emotionally letting go of someone or the feelings they have for someone or some thing. also water moons have the most amazing intuition so when water moon tells you something is probably true.

❤️‍🔥If you have water moon & fire mars, you can show your emotions in a very dramatic way. You will always somehow express your feelings fiery but at the same time emotional. You can be angry a lot of times and you can cry out of anger.

☕️I notice that people who have a lot of taurus energy or are taurus almost always wear trainers. They always want to feel comfortable and cozy. Also hoodies I think this is such taurus thing wearing a hoodie. They usually wear black clothes like when you say scorpio like black color I would say taurus love black color even more. They tend to be very introverted people and usually they don't like a lot of crowds and people. Usually don't like to go to parties I mean they like to party but prefer to be in their own comfortable space.

💧When u have cancer moon u can just drown in your sadness (listening to music all day and thinking about person or situation).

👀I don’t know if it is just me but i can not stand voice of people who has cancer rising sometimes haha. Nothing personal for people who has this placement. But every cancer rising I meet have like this anoying voice sometimes that they made ( especally when they ask for favor).

💋Let's talk about Venus signs. Venus in Sagittarius I always hear people say that they are cheaters or more freedom loving people or that they don't commit easily..but this is not true I know a lot of people who have Sagittarius Venus & are very committed in a relationship and when they choose someone they will stick to this one person they will love this person like forever. Also they are very passionate in love. I just think they are like virgo venuses -they are picky in love and if someone don't suits them enough they will not go for it. I know that Venus in Leo is a fixed Venus and it should be very committed but I also believe that Sagittarius venuses are more committed when they are in love. This is because Leo Venus is playful Venus. They like to play and Sag venus when they find meaning in person,relationship they will stick to this one because they truly believe and have faith for it.

💋One important thing people who have Venus & Mars in sag they have in sidereal actually Scorpio Mars & Venus so inside they are very deep so let's not forget about that!

🦭Scorpio venus will actually give love only to people they truly believe they are worth their love. They are very careful when they choose people around them because they often feel that they will betray them or at the same point cheat on them. So thats why they are careful when it comes to relationships and when they trust someone they will give all of their love and time to this one person. Also they don't share much of their relationship with other people. They like that relationship they have with this one person stays only between them.

🥥Taurus Moon -I feel like those people only share their love with people they only trust and feel comfortable to give and share their feelings with them. I think comfort is one of the most important thing with them. They love to be comfortable with the person so actually they love when people show up in hoodies or sweatpants -they like things like that & also movie nights. Or ride in the car and enjoy the music.

🫀Capricorn people are very realistic people maybe one of the most realistic people I know. They will tell you the hardest and crulest the truth u will ever hear. They are the real people. Capricorn has two sides dark and light. And their dark side can be very dark sometimes even more than Scorpio ones. Scorpio is known from being secretive ,from being mysterious & Capricorn is another level of mysterious. When you look at someone who has Capricorn placements, Capricorn rising especially -they have this poker face and you will never know what they think ,what they next move will be how they going to react on something. You can just wait and be like “okay what is going to happen now “cuz they will kill you with their silence.

🌌The vertex in astrology is a sensitive point in the chart of a person that is believed to indicate significant life events or turning points. The vertex is often associated with fate or destiny, and it is thought to be particularly influential in matters of love and relationships.

🎑Jupiter is a sign of happiness and luck and whatever you have Jupiter in your chart -there you will find the most joy, happiness and satisfaction. For example: if you have Jupiter in your 1st house this mean that when you improve your appearance-maybe getting a tattoo, piercing, coloring your hair..something related to your body this will make you happy. You will feel happiness within you like you got some reward or something. Jupiter in 5th house- when you find a new hobby, entertainment or dating, this will make you the happiest. Jupiter in 12th house- signing up for dancing, acting, something that fulfills you internally will make you the happiest.

🎧Mars is your energy so whatever in your house you have Mars is the energy you show to others and energy others see in you. For ex.: Mars in 12 house -shows the your energy is very mysterious, kind, dreamy, artistic. People always impressed of how much talents you actually have. Mars in 2nd house-people see you as a stubborn, very self-respectful. Your energy maybe is more like materialistic for some people or maybe more calm.

☁️okay I would say this -I see a lot of people who have potential synastry but their relationship don't work out and I see the reason why because a lot of people don't have 5th house -this house is very important because this house indicates how you keep your relationship passionate and loving. 8th house is very deep house, house of intimacy & also sharing secrets with another person, sharing your soul with another person. It's important that you can trust this person with your secrets. This house also indicates the mission you two have in this lifetime & the reason why you end up together. This person came to your life because of something you two share. 8th House shows obsessions and how you are obsessed with this person and how badly you want this person to be yours. if you don't have water houses with person is hard for love to be long lasting in my opinion.

🐱Pisces and Virgos are cat lovers. Every time I meet someone who has these placements, they have a cat. Many times I notice that someone who has gemini has several different animals at home. Leos are dog lovers. People who have capricorn in 6th house usually have a hard time connecting with pets also I usually see these people don't even like animals that much. 4th house placements or cancer placements many times they prefer children than animals.

⭐️It's very important where your north node is because this is your soul mission & this is where your life supposed to be ,how you supposed to grow. What is your focus in this lifetime and how can you achieve this. A lot of people with North Node in 8th house- are working in shadows & they create the most amazing art and things. They have very deep intuition and they can predict a lot of events and things in life- they just know. I lot of important people actually have this placement.

✨ig-bekylibra

-Rebekah💘🎧💋

[furiousgoldfish]

Does anyone else feel like their perception of love is wrapped and unrealistic?

For instance, I don't believe that I can feel true love towards anyone, because I won't ever truly feel relaxed or safe next to anyone; I won't fully trust them, I will struggle all I possibly can against getting attached to them, I won't count on them or expect anything out of them, I won't make plans, I won't imagine a future, I will insist on staying an independent entity. So I don't believe I can achieve true closeness or love, I think I'm fundamentally lacking in trust and relying on others, and I also won't believe another person if they say they love me, I won't trust that they can perceive me correctly, I will always project some kind of negative image of myself onto them and then believe this is what they truly think of me.

But on the other hand, I will also do anything in my power to not cause any harm to this person; I will not make false promises, I will not betray them, I am unlikely to say or do anything that even risks bringing harm onto them. I will look into and do research about anything they're struggling with and try my best to help, I will talk them trough anything they need to talk trough. I won't judge them unless they've done something evil, I won't allow my prejudice to form my opinions of them, I will look at their life trough their eyes before I look trough my own. I will hear them out about anything that has ever happened to them and care for them trough it. I won't be able to stay still if they need help, I won't reject or ignore their bids for attention and communication, I won't rest until I know they're okay, and I'll make it my business to make another person happy.

I feel like for some people love is a level of care and stability that doesn't even need to be that high, just as long as it's there, and I do that naturally, I care for every person in my surroundings to a high level, but I don't consider it real because I have no trust, I have no expectations, and I never imagine anyone to stick around.

So what I'm saying is, why is trust being propped as the most important part? Just because I don't trust someone doesn't mean I don't care for them, do people only care for others if they trust others will be there forever to potentially return that favour of care? Is this where I'm fundamentally different from normal people, that I can't function in that way? Do people love only if there's a sense of a shared future which they can keep as an idealized goal in their mind, and then the love and attention they give is supposed to bring them there? Is that actually a more natural progression of love, believing in the other no matter what so that the urge to keep giving love to them keeps being strong, because it has a purpose, a goal and a future to build? Is that just how normal people live, is it natural to expect to build a life that you want based on foundation of love? Is it messed up of me to care while expecting to be left and betrayed at any moment? Is it self hatred that I do that? Or is it self-protective, based on learned experience?

What are other people's definitions of what love is? Is it instinctual or on purpose? Does it need all human instincts and natures to function seamlessly, or once trust and expectations are written out, it can no longer be achieved? Does it require that endless trust and blind faith in the forever future? Does it tolerate a certain level of betrayal and lack of attention or interest? Do these things not even matter if the other person believes this is just a part of love? How would you describe what love is? Do you feel capable of it?

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: how to promote self-love going forward

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your secret admirer

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile one

you might settle for less because you likely get caught up in the drama and find it fun/addicting in the moment. you pursue goals/ideas with focus, but often lack the confidence to back it up. or you wait too long for others before moving on.

i believe love has taught you that you should never settle too quickly. it is best to date multiple people before starting an exclusive relationship. don't get overwhelmed by relationship drama because it will consume you and ruin your day (but only temporarily because nothing is forever - so why stress?). you know now not to let others stick their nose in your relationships - too many opinions will taint your feelings. the biggest lesson is that you learned to cut off anything that interferes with your desires.

i feel like you are jealous maybe a lot of people around you are coupled and you are alone. be cautious because you don't know when you might ruin your relationships with others just because you feel unhappy with your situation. stop worrying about being judged or how often you are rejected - it doesn't matter you are going to find someone in due time (you are worthy). you are loving, nurturing, and protective.

you can nurture yourself by getting out there. you have been alone and isolated for too long - so get out there. stop refusing to look within for what you truly want. ask for support to get what your truly desire, especially in the social sense.

what i feel you need to hear is that you have a strong energy - you are gifted with the ability to receive what you need most from the universe. don't rush or force things - what is meant for you, will find you. you are passionate, creative, magnetic, and attractive. you are also nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person in most people's life. you have many things - you attract the world and its gifts to you. you don't settle for less - when something is missing you go looking for it. you follow your heart and instincts; you make room for new things to bring joy/happiness.

pile two

i feel like you struggle with maintaining balance in a connection and that might just be the source of why you settle for less. you get too invested in a connection and then you loose track of who are and what you want and need most in a connection. you often find yourself prioritizing the other person over yourself.

love has taught you that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life, so that you can make space for new things and even new people can better help you grow and thrive.

i feel like you are sad presently or are in the process of recovering from some sort of emotional pain/disappointment. sorrow doesn't last forever. you are very capable of healing - new experiences await you. not all new experiences are destined for heartbreak - have faith.

you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed in love and be the perfect partner/person. perfect is impossible - so be generous with yourself because right now you are only burning yourself out. to nurture your wellbeing, you should stop judging your productiveness and stop comparing yourself to others - delete social media and take sometime off where you don't have to do anything at all (no doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). do what brings you joy and say "no" to everything else.

i feel like you need to hear that you are a patient person who realizes that change doesn't happen overnight. you celebrate the small wins with small cute things (for example, maybe you survived a hard week and you get yourself a cupcake). things are getting better so just acknowledge that they are. you can recognize when things have been blown out of proportion or things are being exaggerate for dramatic effect - you are human bullshit detector which is a rare find. even rarer still you have the ability to find a resolution to any argument. you are presently working on not letting other people's expectations of you throw you off of your path. you can make your own path and you know it. you trust that you are capable of standing independently of others, and you are capable of anything.

pile three

i don't feel like you are the type to settle for less than you are worth - i get the feeling that you are slightly cocky about your situation. you might need to practice being humble in a connection because you can come off as judgy or as though you have a superior attitude. alternatively, you might find yourself in connections with people who are very controlling and you might not recognize that you are in that type of connection until it is too late. it is not your fault that you might have settled for less than your worth in the past - you just found yourself in the wrong place and the wrong time and experienced a toxic relationship.

i feel as though you learned that a partner doesn't need to be flashing or exciting instead they need to be stable, grounded, and trustworthy. you have had the flashy connections in the past and it was not the best. you need something more sensual than passionate. something that grows slowly over time so that it lasts.

your intuition is never wrong about the people with interest in you, so learn to trust yourself. you are very emotionally intelligent, so trust that you have the answers you seek about any connection. trust your gut instead of overthinking and overanalyzing.

cultivate your intuitive powers, so you can manifest your dreams into reality. to nurture yourself i sense that you should reconnect with nature and recharge with the the power of the sun. you should also focus on healing any and all blockages that concern your self-esteem/self-worth.

you might need to hear that you are nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person other's life. you have many things - you attract the world and it's gifts to you. you realize that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life so that you can make space for new things and even new people who can help you grow and thrive. you know that heartbreak is temporary and that time heals all wounds. you can heal and grow as soon as you believe that you are worthy and that no one wishes to hurt you or your heart. it's okay to be hurt but you have to release that pain instead of bottling it up so you can recover.

[ghouljams]

can someone pls explain to me the allure of the face huggers thing? not kink-shaming, kink-inquiring, i’m fascinated by y’all

Yeah of course.

So the face huggers actually encapsulate multiple kinks in my mind and all of those kinks have their own allure but put together I just *fans self*

So I'm just going to start off with the worst of it to get it out of the way, and also to (in good faith) show that I have enough understanding of the themes within alien(and specifically around the face huggers) to understand the horror alongside the kink:

It's a rape monster. Point blank period, the whole horror of the face huggers is the forced insertion, and the violence of penetration which ultimately impregnates and kills the host in the ultimate violation of their bodily autonomy. The host is physically incapable of removing the face hugger, thus prolonging the violation as well as forcing them to carry their parasite "to term." Horror upon horror. Truly a nightmare I would never want to experience in the actual context of the alien series.

Now onto the kink and the fantasy of it all.

It's a rape monster: non-con kink.

Forced insertion: more non-con kink, but specifically force insertions are a kink.

Eggs: oviposition kink

forced pregnancy: another non-con kink, again specifically forced pregnancy. Which also leads into a non-con breeding kink.

Ok that's a lot of non-con kink stuff! What's appealing about that?

I'm gonna be honest with you friend, it's sort of a "you get it or you don't" situation for a lot of people. The appeal though is the same as with most D/s dynamics. You have someone giving up control, and someone taking it. In this case it's a forced submission, and in the fantasy of it, this wouldn't kill me and it would feel good, and it would basically be a monster fuck machine suction cupping itself to my pussy to pump me full of eggs.

I've talked at length about how common "rape" kinks are and the way that society has a hand in creating them if only because it looks down on consenting to sex so much. Especially women saying yes to sex? There's this thought of, "well I'm not a whore if I didn't say yes to it" it sort of takes the blame off the submissive, and there's some power dynamic stuff to it as well, but that's sort of the most bare bones basic gist. In a society where saying "yes" is demonized we shouldn't be surprised when people turn saying "no" into a kink.

Now... the allure of the actual spidery thing is sort of hard to explain. In my mind it looks like a vagina with a dick where the hole should be. I like both of those things, and I like having my mouth on them, so... I mean... idk that feels self explanatory.

So that's my shitty explanation. It's a lot of kinks all jumbled together in what looks like an easily transportable packaging. I think if the face hugger was a sex toy that someone had invented it would have a very different connotation to it.

Here's this thing that will stick to whatever hole you want it on, and it'll just make itself happy by fucking you for as long as it can. The eggs are their own thing but I think the idea of having something that rubs up against my sweet spots is really fucking appealing. And for people that have a breeding kink but are maybe scared of the pregnancy aspect, oviposition fills that niche where you're definitely bred but it's not going to hurt the eggs to push them out. Also tummy bulge.

[etherfabric]

What benefit is hidden in your aura? + Affirmations

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

Justice, Knight of Pentacles rx

Your aura reflects your miniscule attunement to injustices. People in your vicinity are taking their sweet time to hold up their end of a bargain they had no problem agreeing to as along as it was your turn to show up. But now that the foundations are being shaken up by influences outside of your control, suddenly it's everyone for themselves. Let your frustration and impatience truthfully shine through. There is no shame in knowing what you deserve, and reacting accordingly when being left in the rain. Those who truly care will feel the discomfort in just the right places to motivate them to be better. And those who shame you for standing up for yourself are just as pathetic as it feels when they do it. You can't save everyone, especially not while being bled dry.

Spend your time waiting for them to process all this on things that bring you joy and nourishment. Joy is easy, joy is pulling you towards things you could do for hours, that make you forget to eat, sleep, drink (but please do eat, sleep, drink). If your mood is too dark to access joy, aim for comfort and relief. If there is anger taking up space, seek catharsis by writing insults in your journal, or throwing hands with your mattress. If you need a good cry, watch that movie you know will break you. Trust your inner compass to guide you to where your next quest is hidden.

Your affirmation is:

I slow down and listen to the guidance that's available to me.

Pile 2

2 of Cups rx, 7 of Wands

Your aura is dulled by your aversion to conflict, even and especially within yourself. As soon as you feel two opposing forces, you shut down and fall into a pit of despair. I know this can sound so hurtful and dismissive, but please see the reality of hope when I say your emotions do not reflect the totality of what is true. I don't want you to stop feeling these things, I want you to stop acting like they are the only things that are true. Those vulnerable aspects of you never asked to carry the weight of being a solo performer. They need their supporting actors - all your other parts, that yes, seem antagonistic at first glance. But avoiding communication, be it inside or outside of yourself, won't lead to anything that will feel as good as you deserve.

You are scared of the fire within you. You are scared once you let it burn, everything you love and need will turn to ashes forever. You have no faith in the transformational power of emotional alchemy. This keeps you stuck in loneliness, because conflict is just a part of human connection that you need to befriend if you ever want to feel truly close to someone - yourself included.

The ashes give rise to the phoenix. The strike of a meteor brings new resources to a formerly closed off sphere and changes the whole game. You are cutting yourself off of a immensely valuable resource. I am not asking you to go on a killing spree - I am asking you to bravely admit to your humanness. With yourself, and in front of others.

Your affirmation is:

When I cultivate a spiritual connection I can trust the Universe no matter what.

Pile 3

The Lovers, Death rx

I see an open invitation being ignored in your aura. Someone is trustworthy and flexible, but you stick to rigid beliefs around the situation and assume the worst. They have hit you where it truly hurts, and you are so ashamed of having tender sports, you rather tell yourself being stuck with a villian instead of facing the truth: You are dealing with pain inside of your soul after this interaction. As long as you deny this, you can't receive the blessing of being truly seen and cared for. You ignore your hopeful and optimistic parts out of fear they will set you up for failure if you take them into account.

You are taking normal human imperfections as indicators for fundamental untrostworthyness. You do this to them and yourself alike. You refuse to see how the current situation is different from the past experiences that were actually hopeless. There is a happy end waiting for you. A realistic one, not a perfect one.

I understand this is concerning trauma you had no other means to deal with in the past but denying it and acting like an unscathed person. Habits born out of survival are tough to shake. But this one begs you to loosen your grip just this once. You won't suddenly turn into a helpless punching bag without any of your skills just because you dare let someone see your wound. And this person isn't just anyone. You having gotten scared, and hiding out of reflex, can totally be a topic of gentle discussion once the time is right to talk again. I'm sure they will understand.

Your affirmation is:

When I live and act from a place of spiritual alignment, I can trust that everything is working out for me, even if I don't know when or how it will happen.

Pile 4

3 of Cups rx, 3 of Wands

You had to experience your own limits, and your aura reflects your disappointment in yourself. You are being way too harsh. What you deem lost is merely dormant for now. Zoom out of the current moment and realize that you are way more than your worst days. Training this kind of perspective willl form beneficial associations everytime you dare to try it. Don't expect ecstacy as a result, more a timid sibling of hope saying you might not be utter trash after all. This is more than enough for now. Build on it step by step.

Really, cut yourself some slack. Have grace. Have compassion. You were completely overwhelmed by the circumstances, and now see yourself falling back on habits you thought you had gotten rid of once and for all. You think you have let people down irreversibly, but this is just not the case. If you can, communicate you having a hard time right now, that you can see the non-optimal influence you had on the situation, and then take the time of isolation you so desperately crave.

There will come brighter, more joyful days. The kinder you are to yourself right now, the quicker you will feel up for it again. Relief and comfort are your number one priority right now. This too shall pass. You will return to your healthier set of skills once you yourself are healthier. You got there once, you will get there again.

Your affirmation is:

Feeling good will bring me far more than whatever I thought I needed.

[fairuzfan]

Hey! Ignore if you please but I'm genuinely curious how Muslim leftists are a thing as hierarchy and inequality are inherent in the religion. What is your personal views on it and what does faith mean to you if I may ask?

It's really disorienting for me seeing Muslims who've had pleasant experiences with Islam considering my own experiences have been horrid, having lived in Iran. I understand religion itself is amoral and can be used as a tool but when establishing Islamic law in society is a must in Islam and the abuse it brings about can be justified by the ayat and hadiths within it, isn't it fair to assume that The Purpose Of A System Is What It Does? Like are we ignoring the fact that Iran's supreme leader wants to conquer the whole region and create a single homogeneous Islamic state and his justification is the holy text.

Again I understand that personal faith is different from systematized religion. Tasawuf is pretty cool for example and only focuses on the spiritual connection of self and Allah, that's why I'd like to know your thoughts on it and how it works for you alongside your leftist beliefs.

Thanks 🙏

I'm not gonna lie, this is kind of a weird ask. I'm not Iranian and I can't speak on that but there are billions of Muslims around the world first of all and not all Muslims practice the same. Like, there are different sects of Islam. So to make overarching statements about things that are "inherent" go Islam like this is really odd?? I don't think it's true that inequality is inherent in Islam....

But establishing a single Islamic state is not a 100% must in Islam like how hajj and Salah are...? Like it's not a requirement for you to do as a Muslim. The only things you're absolutely required to do are things like Salah, Zakat, Hajj, etc and even those things have exceptions. The absolute requirement of Islam is to take the shahada and believe in it.

Even between Iran and Saudi Arabia (a government which I hate) there are pretty obvious differences. So like to make Iran the end all be all of what constitutes as a government that operates with Islamic law is kind of a weird assumption to make.

I don't really want to comment on this beyond what I said. It's not like any other government in the world is much better?? Seems odd to single Islam out with the rising Islamophobia that results in the ravaging of SWANA.

But if you're asking me personally why I'm muslim, it's because I grew up being taught that justice is a core principal of Islam. My parents always emphasized "always stand on the side of the oppressed" as something Muslims should do. The hadith that personally always stick with me as a guiding principal is:

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Even if the Resurrection were established upon one of you while he has in his hand a sapling, let him plant it.”

And this ayah:

O believers! Stand firm for justice as witnesses for Allah even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or close relatives. Be they rich or poor, Allah is best to ensure their interests. So do not let your desires cause you to deviate ˹from justice˺. If you distort the testimony or refuse to give it, then ˹know that˺ Allah is certainly All-Aware of what you do.

And this ayah:

O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may ˹get to˺ know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware.

But yeah I always think back to these ayat and hadith when I need to.

[thatrandomidiot182]

Fret not my friends, for this is only the end of the 'Canon' timeline! I have two alternate endings in the drafts along with the side chapters, so although the main series is over until Season 3 of HOTD comes out, I still have lots of stuff planned for Velaryon! Reader in the future! Hopefully you guys stick around to see.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

VELARYON! READER FINALE (For now...)

Aemond, having been left to his devices in Kings Landing, decided to take it upon himself to help Reader as best he could.

Thus, he reaches out to the Blackwoods with an offer...

Reader, in the meantime, has taken a minor detour from her march. Instructing (Threatening) Jason Lannister to continue his conquest, "With haste." As she pays a visit to 'an old friend.'

Back at the Red Keep, Helaena continues her training, now with more fervor, and can often be spotted astride Dreamfyre amongst the clouds day in and day out.

Alicent, defeated and weary, now grows suspicious of her sons prolonged slumber. The maesters claim that he is in decent enough health, and their confusion only validates her suspicion.

As she is busy frolicking in the Kingswood, one of Readers' most trusted maids rushes her husband before Aemond with very important news.

After the discussion, Aemond hastily writes to Readers host, and the morning he does, Silverwing is chased back to Dragonstone by Vhagar, with Dreamfyre hesitantly trailing behind as they meet Rhaenyras newfound 'allies' in confidence, before turning back to Kings Landing.

On Dragonstone, Hugh speaks with Ulf after their conversation with Prince Jacaerys.

Rhaenyra mulls over the decision to strike against Aemond, but Corlys is hesitant due to Dreamfyres' appearance the day before.

Back at the Red Keep,

Aemond utilizes Readers' incoming fleet and writes to them, instructing them to catch as much fish as they possibly could before docking, as the new restrictions on the harbor are bound to cause issues with the smallfolk.

Helaena and Alicent discuss their emergency escape, with Helaena withholding her true plans at Reader's behest.

Aemond reaches out, inquiring Helaenas aid, but the Queen is hesitant, and Alicents objections don't help.

In the end, Helaena agrees to fight under the condition that she is the last line of defense and that Jaehaera and Alicent would flee while she flies. She writes to Reader that same night, inquiring how this would affect their existing escape plan.

Meanwhile, Alicent has her own plans...

Jacaerys, on the other hand, is going through an existential crisis. The whole 'army of bastards' situation has made him rethink the entire conflict with Reader about Aemond.

His whole life, he's lived under scrutiny, scorn and mockery. Him, Luke and Joffery were constantly being questioned and made fun of, by the entire Red Keep, however Jace could never understand why his uncles hated them so much.

Helaena was perfectly pleasant, his grandparents were all kind and accepted them as heirs, so why couldn't Alicent and her sons do the same? Did the color of his hair really make that much of a difference? Regardless of who his father was, he was still of royal lineage, born from a womb of pure fire and blood itself. There was no reason for them to be so cruel!

He's lived with the pain and anger of not being accepted his entire life, and he truly believed that his dragon was all that was needed to prove anyone wrong.

After all, only a true Targaryen could tame a God... right?

Now he's rethinking everything.

He finally understands his uncles.

He now knows how Aemond felt about him and Luke, how Aegon felt being compared to himself all the time.

It was infuriating.

Despicable.

Shameful.

It was everything they all said he was.

Now, Jace finds it hard to keep his faith in his mother. Not only is she tarnishing the family name but also placing them all in danger.

He finds himself full of regret, wanting nothing more than to be able to apologize to Aemond and Reader and rekindle a bond he didn't even know was there.

He also now has to find a way to snuff out the newfound self-hatred brewing inside his heart... (imposter syndrome..)

Back in Kings Landing, Aemond and Helaena bond, as Aemond works to persuade her into taking a more offensive role in the war. Helaena obviously disagrees but is more inclined to entertain the thought than she would normally be. After all, she still has a husband and child she wants to keep safe.

Besides, she has been training quite a bit, not to mention Dreamfyre is one of the top five most capable dragons alive... and it's not like Aemond is asking her to fly out and face Daemon or Rhaenyra head on, no. Only that she aid Vhagar should Rhaenyra attempt to sack Kings Landing.

Alicent attempts to bargain with Rhaenyra, urging her to strike while Reader and her dragon are away.

She encourages Rhaenyra to take Aemond and Vhagar down whilst she and Helaena prepare the keep for her before their departure.

Rhaenyra insists that Aegon be dealt with regardless, and ultimately, Alicent agrees.

Pieces are finally falling into place...

Reader meets with her mother for the first time after the coronation, accompanied by Rhaenyras three sons, obtained from the ships her fleet seized, in order to strike a deal.

Tyland and his newly acquired ships meet with Readers fleet as they begin to head towards the blockade after delivering the fish to Kings Landing.

Alicent heads back to the Red Keep to find Helaena, as the dreamer herself is in the midst of training with Aemond and Vhagar.

Jason Lannister receives word of a newly acquired ally in the Riverlands as he makes camp at the Frey Bridge.

Rhaenyra finally prepares to strike.

Daeron and the Hightower army meet with Cole and Gwayne and begin marching on the Riverlands.

The Red Keep is in a panic, after shouts begin to echo throughout the halls come the hour of the wolf...

"THE KING IS GONE!!"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

I'm so sorry that this is so much shorter compared to the rest, I tried to cover 3 episodes in each part but there was only 2 left for this one. As a small apology for the lacking word count, I wrote out the letter Aemond wrote to reader and attached it here for your enjoyment!!

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

My heart,

I hope you are well. Unfortunately, I do not write with leisure.

Rhaenyra seeks to raise an army of bastards.

She has sent her handmaiden to fetch any silver-haired persons occupying the streets of Kings Landing.

However, as usual, your kindness reaps rewards. It appears one of your new maids' husband is a Targaryen bastard himself.

Fear not, for this 'Hugh Hammer' and I have come to a very generous agreement. He has bent the knee, and sails to Dragonstone as I write, leaving behind his wife and daughter in our care.

I understand this rather rash decision has a small chance of becoming troublesome in the future, however I believe his success would prove beneficial for us in the long run, and should he perish in his attempt, nothing more will be lost to us.

It appears that you yourself have aided many of these bastards as well, and I pray that the gods grant us their favor once more by placing one of them atop a dragon, if it must be any of them at all.

Of course, the best possible outcome is that none of them are claimed, but the fates have funny ways of showing their humor...

Yours always,

Aemond

[lotusmi]

circumstances, states, failure, Who AM I?

"You are currently accepting things regardless you want to or not, you are. Do you like what you are accepting within? You either have it or you do not, but you can have it! You can have it inside. The only limit, the only one in the way inside ourselves is ourselves" EdwardArt

This my most important post, it contains all that you have to know. Read this and I promise you, you will see life becoming all you always wanted it to be. The law is easy. 💓

📝don't accept that which is not what you desire. Don't let circumstances, senses, people, say to you what is real. That's all up to you. Nothing is real unless you accept it as real. Nothing happens if you not assume so.

your world is just showing you who you are within yourself. That means that you can choose what you will see. You do this by entering the state of your desire. You do this by stating "I AM ..." and letting feel it. Feeling is not emotion, although it can come with it. Feeling is acceptance, allowing, being grateful. You let yourself know your desire is yours, it truly is. You have to decide to change, then enter the state of wish fulfilled. Then stick to this state and no power in this world will stop it harden into fact. Doing this is really easy, but you have to want to change and take the first step. "To desire a state is to have it". Nothing can stop you entering a state, only yourself.

"But I can't see how to start"

Yes, that's because you don't truly accepted that your imagination is God. Powerful, wonderful, limitless. You have to have faith or do, even in fear, it's your promise. "If you ASSUME SUCCESS and PERSIST in that assumption YOU CANNOT FAIL" "What would you do if you knew YOU COULD'T FAIL?"

The only one way you can fail is if you assume you can. So👏🏻don't👏🏻assume👏🏻it!

Anonther point is stop questioning the "how" "how it will happen?" "how can this happen? it's impossible"

"IMAGINATION WILL FULFIL ITSELF, SO DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF BY ANYTHING NOW HAPPENING, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS" read this again. No matter what it is. 'No matter what it is'... isn't wonderful?

The "how" is not your business, you don't have to ask how it will happen, but KNOW it will happen. Your goal is to be sticked to the end. It's done. It is DONE, you don't have to do nothing more them stay sticked to the fact that you already have it because that is what is going to be reflected!!! THAT YOU HAVE IT ALREADY.

When you entered your desired state all you have to do is to remain faithful to it. This means: NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN SAY TO TO YOURSELF YOUR STORY.

"IF EVERY LITTLE RUMOR, DOUBT, OR FEAR CAN MOVE YOU AROUND... THEN YOU ARE NOT KEEPING THE FAITH"

DECIDE to have faith and it will become natural "you cannot assume you have your desire for a moment and then..."

No matter what be still and know it is done love. Even if they said "no". You said "yes". Your imagination, GOD, I AM, said "YES!" SO IT'S DONE. SO 3D WILL SHOW YOUR DESIRE. You also don't have to think about time. You claimed RIGHT NOW. If you assume it instantly manifests, then it is what you say. Because you said so.

You are not circumstances nor failure. You are I AM. You are the operant power, the creator, God. Feel free, feel grateful, enter good states of mind. Stop overconsuming, stop letting circunstances destroy your mental health. Take control. Assume good things. Be happy, feel love, believe it in, take it easy, apply it. That's it. You are I AM💓

[crooked-wasteland]

This is what happens when all criticism is bad faith.

You have a bad show that no one sticks around for. Something tells me she really thought Fizzarolli was going to bring people back. And the thing is, I legitimately think it did. But you have just pushed so many of your most loyal fans away, and a lot of them feel that the story they wanted to know is already finished. They know what happened with Fizzarolli and Blitz's family. They can tell whatever story they want now, and it'll make them far less frustrated or disappointed than waiting for you to stop plugging your ears.

If you would rather spend money for something like this, you could save so much more by just reaching out to your critics and actually listening. Then again, there is the possibility that you've just isolated people too far from you to give you a second chance even if you did. You don't handle yourself maturely on Twitter any more than you did here, and the Lackadaisy situation was the last straw for a lot of people to drop you and your show. All because you had to be petty and post the email online and encourage the harassment.

Bad faith would be conflating the fact you would pay for a puff article with questioning if you were involved with the news articles covering the Lackadaisy team and associating the studio and the show with "transphobia". I don't think anyone can truly claim that they know for sure, but this proves Medrano and her team are willing to mobilize outside media to try and prop themselves up.

Youtube videos make the most views in the first 3 days of a video's life. We are hitting that 3 day mark, meaning she is going to see a sharp decline in views from here on out. I think this video may reach about 12-15 million, but that's admittedly being generous and Medrano knows this.

I genuinely do think she thought more people would come back for this story than who actually did. It's not something I am necessarily happy in either. I thought and still think there are some really good ideas and inspiration for this show. But Medrano lacks the eye of a showrunner. If she had a better grasp on what it took to make a successful series, she would have known and budgeted for season 2 to be all about the Fizzarolli and Blitz relationship with Stolas and Blitz being the B plot and have IMP being the C plot. Have it run through the entire season to really immerse the audience and tell her story well. And I think that could have happened if she had only listened to criticism.

This is where she has found herself, however. Spending more money promoting her underperforming series instead of using those funds to make a good show. If she hired a writer's room instead of a press release, I think we would all be much happier.

I'm sorry, but I lose all respect for a show when the creator is paying money for a promotion piece because their views aren't maintaining like they thought they would, due to their own mismanagement of funds and public relations.

[chaosincurate]

A guide to The Cure, Pt. I: The Goth Phase

The Cure have always been stylistically gothic, and have always had elements of gothicism in their music, but for many (including myself before I started getting into them properly) they are musically defined in contrast to that aesthetic. The group of goths making upbeat pop music is the version of The Cure most people know. Sandwiched between the new-wave hit Boy's Don't Cry and their later cult-pop resurgence, though, is a full-on goth phase which made it all the way to the music itself. Throughout this phase, they built the groundwork for what would become their strange, elusive legacy, starting with

Seventeen Seconds

I feel comfortable suggesting that this is the beginning of The Cure's musical goth phase, but it is worth adding the caveat that there is still a healthy dose of new-wave pep left over from their first outings here. It makes for a very interesting listen and a fantastic introduction to this version of The Cure for the fans of the poppier stuff that want to give their darker stuff a try. It's a balance that I think is achieved with more perceivable intention on later releases, but whether it was a case of residual flavour being incidentally left in the wok, or whether this was seasoned purposely to include that taste, it makes for a good listen.

It's not an album I'd consider one of the best from The Cure, but it is just one step below that, I would say. A must-listen for a prospective Cure fan, but not a must-listen as a passerby. And it serves a very useful purpose in their discography as the transition album between two very disparate styles within alternative music, and it navigates that chasm with impressive grace.

Faith

The last of the remnants of joy have been erased here. This is a cold, gothic landscape. This album is the first time The Cure were truly, and entirely gothic. There's a melancholy to the sound here, as if the instruments were despondent and going through the motions. To be clear, that isn't at all a criticism. What it's lacking in thrills, it offers in emotional resonance for those wanting to wallow in their misery, as well as a platform for Robert Smith's expressive vocal performances and cryptic lyricism.

It's a great album, but the unfortunate fact for me is that it is still fairly difficult to recommend. It's a consistently good album, and the band seem comfortable in their new skin, but there isn't a clear highlight on this album. They're comfortable, but maybe not confident enough to really knock anyone's socks off yet. At least in my opinion. But that would soon change with their next album:

Pornography

When even remote tribes that got given access to the internet get hooked on your album, you know you've done something right. (Note to self: consider the passage of time when making jokes about trending topics)

In my opinion, this is the first truly great album The Cure have made. They took the clear, focused intent of the previous album and elevated it to the point that they made a masterpiece. The simple instrumentals of Faith, as good as they were on that album, give way to a more affecting, oppressive, borderline overwhelming soundscape that sticks with you like nothing they've made to this point, perhaps with the exception of an individual song here and there.

To put it simply, The Cure finally feel like they've found a unique identity. I referred to Faith as the point in which they feel comfortable in their skin, and to continue that metaphor, Pornography feels, ironically, like they've found the clothes they like. Feeling comfortable in your skin is important, but your skin doesn't say a whole lot about you as a person. Your style though? That can say a lot about who you are and who you want to be. It's a strong form of identity affirmation and communication, and that is the importance of this album. Anyone could have come along and made Faith, but only The Cure could have made Pornography

As far as recommendations go, I think this one is pretty straightforward: if you have any interest in The Cure's goth rock stuff, this is required listening. It's easily in the top 3 must-listen albums from them for me.

Next Week...

Next week will be the pop phase. That's to be released on 6th September 2024 at midnight BST. If you're far enough in the future, congrats! It's out already!

[crazilust]

Astro observations - ❣️ Luuuuv edition❣️

i'm currently going thru a break up and i felt like shit talking. will these my most objective observations? yeaaaaa. maybe not. feel free to argue with me, though.

If you want me to analyze you and your partner's chart, or your chart, or your crush's chart, I offer that for 10-15$ sooooo y'know

Whenever entering a relationships, look at these placements within yourself and your future partner : your mercury sign (this will be important in arguments), your moon sign (will this person be able to fulfill your emotional needs?) and your venus sign (do you guys have the same perception of an healthy relationship?)

I actually do believe that when it comes to relationships, you need to have at least a few similar placements or at the very least same elements. i know they say opposite attracts, but in my humble opinion, similar stick together. Earth signs will always prioritize a stable, solid foundations and might get hurt by an Air sign's volatility.

Virgos judge way too much when it comes to relationships. I'd say unhealed, un evolved Virgos. Their perfectionism can get really suffocating when it is projected onto others and honestly, until they're healed and can accept their own flaws, it can really ruin the other person's self esteem

I've already talked about 12th house relationships in one of my earlier posts, but let me go back to this (now that i'm done with mine LMAOOOO). This ain't for the weak. 12th house is the house of hidden enemies. Unless you both accept that the other person triggers your deepest insecurities, you will hurt eachother and in that case, it's better to simply leave and learn your lesson

A Pisces mercury would do better be with other water signs mercury. They tend to talk in images and in a vague way, and their words always get distorted. I feel like another water sign would have less trouble understanding the feeling behind the weird words of a pisces mercury.

Another aspect that is important when it compatibility is the rising! Rising sign doesn't only represent appearances, it litteraly affects your whole chart. It talks about your values, your way of viewing life and navigating it. A Taurus rising will view life in a way that is completely different to a Leo rising, for example (while they may share similarities, sometimes it creates unnecessary conflicts)

Scorpios do get a bad rep in relationships and most of the times, it's because you've been on the other end of their wrath and that's the only thing you can remember. I've been badly burned by a Scorpio but that doesn't mean it'll take away their devotion, loyalty and pure love that I could experience with them. Not everyone will be compatible with a Scorpio, because it is intense, but being truly loved by a Scorpio is something everybody should experience

Air signs are mostly associated with relationships, friendships, flings. They sometimes get a bad rep that they're not loyal, they're not faithful. Unfortunately, I'm not here to demystify that, BUT! I'll say this: air sign are way less comfortable in relationships that they tend to appear. Most air signs have a deep wounded relationships with themselves. They simply have learned that in order not to deal with that, they could project it onto other people and/or play a role. Most people don't even notice and they get to stay in denial. Aquarius are scared they won't bring any value to the world, Geminis are scared of getting to know themselves and if they'll ever truly fit in somewhere and Libras are scared of their own flaws and would much rather fix themselves through a relationship. They're. running. from. themselves.

Will you ever truly get to know a Sagittarius in a relationship? Only if you're willing to spend most of the time playing the sweet gymnastic of : was this a lie or was this the truth ? Remember that they're ruled by Jupiter and they naturally have an inflated ego. The lies doesn't necessarily come from a bad place, per se, but much more a desire to always look good in someone's eyes.

I'll end with this: I don't actually believe that you shouldn't go through a relationship because of someone's sign or chart. BUT. These are energies that both of y'all will project. If you don't work on it, if you ignore it, if you pretend... They will play out.

--------------------------------

Yea. That's it for me. The day before Valentine's day. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be because I actually do feel better without them. This was a karmic relationship and I've learned my lesson.

I've missed you guys,

Dolly.

[ilikekidsshows]

The most ironic part of people defending Marinette in Ladynoir and Marichat is that hardly any analysis I've ever seen about her "being soooooooooooooo adoring to her Kitty uwu" ever EXPLAIN Marinette's feelings either.

Even her own fans mostly only write abuse and neglect excuses and talk about some endlessly vague softness, some at this point meaningless heart eyes, and whatever short lines of kindness of the week on her end of the ship are thrown in there.

Even Marinette's own fans apparently can't not go in depth on her "boundless love and devotion" for Chat Noir because the show drags everything down with her writing. It's always the same surface level crumbs. So how are WE supposed to get more out of it then?

If even her own defenders mostly only really talk about Catrien doing 95% of the work in Ladynoir and Marichat in Canon, then how are WE supposed to say something different? We are complaining for the same reason as they are focusing on Catrien: he's canonically actually contributing to the damn SHIP in ways that are pure enough to talk about.

All canon ever does for Ladynette's side is explain what use, excuses and comfort she gets outta his presence. That's also all her canon self ever truly highlighted in her crush era besides him bein hot.

Even her own defenders reduce her crush on him to thirsting. I've never seen anyone actually talk about the scenes in Passion where she for real showed effort and progress cause, I guess, that would require of her fans to acknowledge that she prior to this acted wrong in the first place. And of course the critical people won't make the posts cause when her damn fans can't be asked to acknowledge the rare REAL moments where she actually TRIES then I'll sure as hell not do their damn job.

Cause it's almost hilarious, right? For as much as Marinette defenders yell about us being too harsh, I've truly wanted to read analysis posts on her feelings for Chat to be convinced. But for 2 whole seasons her own fans failed her. They hardly say anything of substance and mostly count on Catrien to make up for her lack of contributions in the ships. Even massive fan Blogs like Buggachat for example are constantly showing that writing flaw in their content. That Adrien has to put up with and has to romantically do WAY TOO MUCH to make up for Marinette’s writing that sticks even in the most best faith (and often to at least some extent ooc, if not entirely) characterization.

When even her own fans spew nothing but endless excuses then don't blame us for picking up on that.

When even her own fans say hardly anything but abuse apologia to defend her then don't blame us for picking up on that.

When even her own fans say that she should be thanked and rewarded for having failed Chat Noir in basically ever possibly way, but hey, at least she stopped being an aggressive Jerk about it, then don't fucking blame us for picking up on that.

We're the ones who can at least argue with Canon scenes and whole episodes to make our point that Ladynette treats him badly. Her defenders say that canon doesn't count whenever they don't like it and otherwise point to their fanon as arguments. Forgive me for thinking that our side has the stronger case, our arguments are the ones that hold up when put to the test by Canon.

---

Yup. Stanning Marinette has to be based off vibes and made up stuff at this point, because the canon is giving us nothing to root for other than her being the protagonist. All the likable aspects of Marinette are so downplayed in canon these days, that the fans have to actively ignore canon to make her a better person they can view as an undisputed hero. And that's without getting into all the abuse apologia and excusing of bad behavior they engage in whenever they don't outright claim Marinette didn't do something she actually did in canon.

It's basically what that person who wanted writing tips for Marinette said; how can we make fanworks where Marinette is a good person who cares about her partner, when the character in canon, based on her canonical actions, probably doesn't care? Well, I try to avoid Buggachat’s stuff these days specifically because all I've seen from said stuff these days is trying to make the toxic stuff look quirky and cute. This isn't the only fanwork that's like this, though. Like, I remember when the Paris Special came out and people started wondering if the alter versions of the heroes were gonna tell each other their secret identities and work more closely together and all the fanwork with this concept was just: “Haha, the main verse lovesquare can’t count on each other for anything and the supposed villains support each other better! It's so silly!”

Like, the toxicity does sometimes get depicted in fanworks but it's always just funtimes, and not actually a problem because they treat it as a two-sided thing, where Adricat participates in the mess in their relationship, when he's the only one trying to be wholesome. There are so many comics of Maribug doing something absolutely horrible to Adricat and the artist’s comments are just: “they're such disasters, lol” when Marinette is the only “disaster” in the equation, but they have to be equally guilty, because then they can brush it off as just “communication issues” instead of Marinette being a self-obsessed jerk.

Like, the reading of the lovesquare as mutual communication issues is understandable to a point. In seasons 1-3, the typical dynamic was “Cat Noir hides his problems, because they're home-related, and Ladybug remains oblivious that he isn't always happy”. However, Cat Noir did tell Ladybug, all the way back in Syren, that he doesn't want to be left out of the loop, which is all Marinette does in season 4. The season 4 “Ladynoir Conflict” isn't based on Cat Noir hiding something Ladybug is oblivious to, even though everyone is used to treating their dynamic that way. In season 4 Cat Noir does tell Ladybug what's wrong, tries to do so repeatedly, only for Ladybug to shut him down by ignoring him, giving him excuses or by repeating apologies she doesn't actually mean because she has no intention of changing the way she behaves with him. The more I looked into what actually happens in season 4, the more I realized that the “the Ladynoir conflict is mutual communication issues” take is wholly inaccurate. Marinette alone is the one keeping secrets.

Marinette Stans have to make stuff up and ignore huge junks of canon in order to depict Marinette as a good partner and person these days, because the stuff the writers have her get away with keeps getting worse.

[helenababs]

a messy character analysis for helena bertinelli. this is my subjective opinion

huntress has been trained on with the mindset that most limitations are not real; it's only in your head, you're only as limited as you consider yourself to be. she may be right handed, but she has to be able to make do with her left hand if she must. crossbows are her specialty, but she knows how to use other weapons as well as fight without weapons at all. she may feel scared, but she has to believe that she can overcome, she can proceed, she can vanquish. because she must.

she cannot be confident of a single possibility, tool, or method, she must overcome the element of surprise and brace herself for multiple scenarios, whether it be through prior planning, constant analysis, and/or immediate improvisation.

this can extend to other things for her; her not really believing in letting her guard down or relying on other people because the rug under her feet can be pulled any time, usually children grow up with their family but that obviously was not the case for her. besides, she's been betrayed quite a few times too. dependency is an unnecessary weakness, added baggage. because she cannot believe that she can safely depend on other people; a trust of hers that has been broken due to both malicious intent and unfortunate circumstances that were nobody's fault.

but she is not over confident or pushing herself to unrealistic extremes; she's very aware of her status as a human being and what's beyond her control, so she's pragmatic and can adapt and adjust as the situation calls for it. she is very deliberate about the goals she sets and the principles she establishes for herself; nothing is a coincidence with her. this leads her to adopt a "the ends justify the means" mindset for her methods.

for example, in birds of prey (1999), she was very well aware that she'd never be able to truly defeat lady shiva in their fight if she just hit her normally and aimed for conventional victory, but helena did absolutely refuse to lose to shiva in any way. her focus was on enduring and being the last one standing, regardless of what happened to sandra.

and that reminds me of one of the core motivations for helena; in huntress: year one, we see that her tutor justina advises her something that sticks with helena forever; you must outlive them all. her tragedy starts because she outlived her family. yet ironically as a result, huntress is now always in survival mode, wanting to get the last word in and never lose her standing to anybody, to rather die on her feet than live on her feet, to continue outliving everybody than allowing them the opportunity, the thrill of eating her alive; she's the huntress, she'll never be the prey ever, ever, ever again.

it's a double edged sword, i think. she derives strength from what haunts her. she's haunted by the very things that keeps her going. she keeps on moving forward because she must hunt; to hunt down predators and strive for a better future. she keeps on moving forward because she cannot afford to go back, to be held back; because the past is when she was a prey. this is no way to live, let alone thrive; it's to survive. this is her legacy, she is the biggest testament of her strength, commitment, and resilience.

her problem is not that she's the huntress or helena bertinelli, i don't think, but rather, the fact that being either of those identities has punished her unnecessarily; traditional heroes wanting to "fix" (read: control) her because she won't play by your shitty rules, or her being born into a mafia family. even if her family never died, there was no guarantee that she was always going to live a happy and safe life, something that was very much made evident in huntress (1989).

is this a test from god? is she being punished for something? she doesn't know, she has to have faith in god.

she can't die, yet she can't live. she can't hope, yet she can't disbelieve.

i think? that's why being miss bertinelli is nice for her. she doesn't have to be in survival mode when she's teaching and dealing with kids. school provides her a structure, a routine, stability, and a sense of normalcy she absolutely lacks in other times of her life. little to no association with her second life as a vigilante. it's not a distraction that's like distracting helena from her problems like an unhealthy coping mechanism, but it's just an alternate way of her trying to make things better in gotham and helping children lead a better life — making sure they can see the light of the world she herself didn't get to; help raise the new generation to be capable of critical thinking, responsible, and self-dependent so they themselves can go on and help correct systematic issues in the society, take matters into their own hand when they don't get sufficient cooperation from the authorities - like what huntress is essentially doing.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

your bt fics inspire me so much 💕 i especially love the way you write tommy! i love reading fics from his perspective which are hard to find. sorry to send this anon but i’m shy lmao!

Oh gosh, don't be sorry! Anon is on for the shy folk out there, I'm glad it gives you the space to write in 🥰 I'm so happy you like my BuckTommy fics! Thank you so much for saying this 🥺 Tommy is a character I truly love writing. Some characters just hit you and he did. He's a man who wasn't good in the past. He was terrible partially because of the environment that he was in, partially because of the way he was raised, and most definitely because of his own poor choices.

But he chooses to be better. To be someone he can finally be proud of. To free himself of the restraints placed on him by his father figures, by society, and by himself. He becomes something that makes him happy. Becomes somebody who does better for the people around him. Who can have people's backs even if he hadn't in the past.

And I don't know if he's really there yet. I don't know if he's happy with himself. There's a loneliness to him that sticks so well, that tells me at least that he had never fully given in to being happy. Never knew how to or ever had the expectation that someone would want to make him happy or even the expectation that he could be happy.

But I like letting him live in my stories as he tries to figure that out. I like delving into why he gives those hints. I like helping him grapple with what has to be depression and heavy but necessary introspection on his part.

And while he shouldn't be the main highlight of next season, I do hope he gets moments to show the growth he has had. To show once again that he does have Hen, Chim, Eddie, Bobby, and Buck's back. I hope he finds that family in the people he wasn't sure he could have as family before.

I understand why someone may not like his character. There are reasons not to like him. He was a coward in the past. He did allow patriarchy and white supremacy to prop him up and allowed his fear of how he would be treated to overshadow doing the right thing back then. Even if 9-1-1 has shown that Hen and Chimney have forgiven him and trust him through hanging out with him after work at a bar, the 118 giving him a fun send off when he leaves, and Chimney on several occasions asking for Tommy's help and getting it, I understand that his past can put some people off. And there's a valid critique that more on-screen growth would be helpful in showing just how far Tommy is from the person he once was in the flashbacks.

But I have faith that 9-1-1 will show more of that. And it's clear from the narrative that that's what we're supposed to see in him - a person who's grown from the man who helped perpetuate a toxic work environment.

I feel like I might have veered away from the original ask here a bit, but I don't know. It's like - you take the good and the bad in a character. You take his past and his loneliness and his insecurities, but you also take his deadpan dry gallows humor and his patience and his understanding of how to be that better person he wished he always was.

And you let that blossom in your writing. And the character is all the better for it. I think so, at least. Thank you for loving my fics. Thank you for loving how I write Tommy. It means so much to me that my writing inspires you. You've truly made my day 🥰

[walkawaysoreeyes]

11/4/2024 READING

Today i'm going over Lamentations chapter 3, i'm just going to write anything that made me think, how God may have used His word to talk to me and what i learned! Today's chapter is rough, I almost highlighted all of it! But important to read, especially if you have been avoiding the Lord or His convictions.

God is our light and hope, even in our darkness!

To me, that was the main theme and message of this chapter, the writer started the chapter with speaking about the darkness that Jerusalem is in because of their own sin. He says that he is "a man who has seen affliction by the rod of the Lord's wrath." The wrath he speaks of, is the judgement that God casted down on them for their lack of repenting. As you get farther on into the chapter, he speaks how God is his hope and of His great love, even in this trial. It's a good read for those who are needing a chapter to reveal to them how God is our great Redeemer and our hope!

"He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; Indeed, He has turned His hand against me again and again, all day long. " Lamentations 3:2-3

“This seems to be the hardest part of our lot, that God should lead us into darkness: ‘He hath led me and brought me into darkness.’ Yet dear brethren, that is, on the other hand, the sweetest thing about our trial; because, if the darkness be in the place where God has led us, it is best for us to be in the dark.” (Spurgeon) This whole quote covers those verses greatly, better than i could ever put into words!

"Even when i call out or cry for help, He shuts out my prayer" Lamentations 3:8

This is honestly, a pretty scary verse, something that is hard to even fathom God doing. But this verse reminds us all, we MUST have a healthy fear of the Lord and knowing He is not afraid to punish His children! Think back to when you were a child, when you got in trouble and maybe got a whooping or grounded, do you really think that your parents wanted to hear you cry and plead, saying "Oh, i can fix, dad, what if i go do it now? will i still have to be grounded? i learned my lesson!" The answer to that is no, they didn't want to hear that, so, God probably doesn't want to hear that either. How can we learn to have that fear of the Lord, if He didn't hold true to His word and stick to our punishment!

"I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is, so i say, 'My splendor is gone and all that i had hoped from the Lord.'" Lamentations 3:17-18

Our peace and joy can only come from the Lord, if it comes from the world then it is SUPERFICAL! Fake! If you spend your whole life only settling for the superficial things and the lies that satan will tell us, then do you truly know God and Jesus? Because God and Jesus have things prepared for us that we could never even imagine! Don't stray so far away from the Lord that you forgot what peace is and what it feels like!

"I well remember them and my soul is downcast within me." Lamentation 3:20

If you read commentary by enduring word while you are reading along in your bible, then this part will be familiar. When the author says, "my soul is downcast within me" he is saying that he has hit rock bottom. But even though he has hit the lowest point he can, he has a bright side; He can rebuild his foundation and relationship with God! While that sounds crazy to be a bright side, it's a true second chance given to Him by the Lord in order to help him build his faith!

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail." Lamentation 3:22

Even when God was inflicting punishment upon Jerusalem and they were His adversary, He still showed his love and mercy! But by not completely "consuming" Jerusalem, He showed them mercy and that even though they have not been faithful, He will ALWAYS remain faithful!

"Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?" Lamentations 3:38

i'm only going to say it once and all even make it very clear! GOD IS IN CONTROL OVER EVERYTHING! EVERY SINGLE SMALL LITTLE DETAIL, HE HAS THE CONTROL! Please remember a very simple song, He has the whole world in His hands!

Sorry if this wasn't the best, today has been a rough day, my dog had her emergency surgery and its touch and go! if you can please pray for her and my family, i would greatly appreciate it! May the Lord bless you!