#i don't have a job i'm not in school i have like ... just started a hobby but i haven't really connected with anyone there yet etc

[white--moon]

Ichigo's reaction is amusing. He laughs, short but genuine. "I have no idea what it would entail either, and I'm not dead so I don't think I can manage a demonstration but we can try to figure out a living version." That shouldn't be hard at all. But Ichigo's been really hung up on the idea of him dying over the last day, so he adds. "Anyway, I have no intention of dying any time soon, so we have some time to figure it out."

Shit. He clearly misread. "Knowing I have it somewhere and knowing exactly where are two different things." Unless someone that isn't him has been in his wardrobe touching things, he does know where it is. He hasn't actually pulled it out or worn it in a long time, but he knows where he put it.

That sounds so boring. And clearly that's a day job type of thing because he knows what Ichigo does for real money, more or less. He knows enough to have it figured out. "Oh. That's what you were goin' to school for, isn't it? Fancy reading." Shiro never really understood the allure of it, but he never judged over it either. It's Ichigo's hobby and fascination, not his. He's glad it seems like Ichigo finished his schooling. Maybe them splitting up really was best for Ichigo. He offers up a wide smirk. "Yes I do and I'd be happy to see it again."

His eyes narrow slightly. He's pretty sure that's not what Ichigo was saying at all. "This isn't one of your ancient books, we don't need fifty tones to say any given thing. We can speak normal. But I'm glad you agree with me."

Ichigo's right. It is a bad idea. He takes a deep breath through his nose and sighs it back out. "Yeah, you're right. I probably shouldn't come back here afterward." Especially if Ichigo's going to leave. Maybe he'll go to the penthouse after all. He doesn't want to look like he's hiding, but he clearly doesn't have the mental capacity to do this right now. He's so hung up on his feelings for Ichigo he can barely keep it in mind that someone is trying their very hardest to kill him. Wild what the brain can block out when it needs to. He falls inline at Ichigo's side when he starts for Shiro's garage.

There's a depressing empty space in his lineup once in the garage. He points to his most low profile, average looking vehicle; a blacked out SUV that looks more like an unmarked police car than the car of a civilian with too much money. "You only gotta check one. You can check the rest after all this is done. Or send your friends to." The culprit could just plant a bomb tomorrow on a vehicle left behind. There's no point in checking all of them right now.

"About my- ?" He almost says boyfriend, but stops himself and shrugs. "I dunno. I guess I did. It's hard not to wonder if the cop you're bangin', who clearly knows who the biggest drug dealer in town is, is just being a cop. Under cover or whatever. Maybe it just looked less suspicious to be upfront about it when I asked him if he was a cop. You were worried about that girl in my bathroom, but the cop would be the right way to do it." Shiro's aware of his own weaknesses. A hot guy with that added element of forbidden and dangerous that being a police officer brings certainly got his attention.

He tosses his phone onto the bed after sending Ichigo the lady's contact info. He knows Ichigo would treat her right if he contacts her at all.

That laugh sounds uncomfortable. Part of him wishes they could dispense with the trying they're both doing, the other part of him is grateful for the efforts. "It's true, I been bad at not giving you what you want from the very start." Shirt? But it only takes him a second, because when he moved out of his apartment he found that shirt. He thought about giving it to Renji to give back to Ichigo, but he couldn't quite make himself do it. "That was your favorite?"

He gets his answer the moment Ichigo looks at him. They know each other well enough for him to read Ichigo just fine. It's flattering. Then the verbal answer Ichigo gives is weirdly touching. It's very sweet, and maybe too honest, but he finds himself liking it anyway. If they can't be together, maybe they can at least be on good terms. Even not being partners, he likes Ichigo's company.

He snorts. "Of course I did, I look good in or out of anything." But being put to bed sounds nice. Warm and cozy and comfortable sounds nice. He is tired, mentally at least. He offers up a little half smirk at the reassurance. "Let's get outta here. Where do you wanna go?"

[liquidorcard]

HEY Y'ALL IT'S MIKAILER WITH AN "ER" WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO GRASP!?

---

Did I get your attention, Mikaila? I hope so, let's see.

Mikaila, I don't like you. You've done shit that's soured my opinion of you. I'm acknowledging that now to get that out of the way. I'm not here to be two-faced about this or blow smoke up your ass.

But as one idiot who stayed in a toxic relationship to another-- I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better. I know. Being in a relationship like that brings out some ugly shit. You resent and fear people will never forgive you. You don't know if you will forgive yourself. I'm not making fun of you because I think I'm better than you.

And it feels kinda good, being treated badly? In a weird way? When you're used to it? When you feel you kind of deserve it? It did for me too. My abuser did some fucked up shit to me. I don't know how to describe to you the strange feelings I'm left with now. Sometimes I think I finally hate her, sometimes, as pathetic as it makes me feel, I still miss her. It's a rot in you that never really goes away, but you learn to live with it. I understand that agony. I understand that anger of how fucking unfair it is.

You know my opinion of Lily. You're not going to trust me that I'm not saying all this just to get you two to break up to hurt her. Fair. Very fair, not going to pretend like it's not. But if Lily loves you, nothing I'm about to say should be an issue. She should want what's best for you, right?

Here's the rub Mikaila, it's been a few years now. I know you want out of your situation at home, but it doesn't seem like Lily's going to be able to help you with that at this point. I'm sure Lily's given you plenty of reasons as to why, and it's time to listen to her.

If you're heart's set on coming to Canada, your best bet is getting a job here. Or even, going to school. Art degrees (Here in Canada) aren't as expensive, provided you go to the right school. Even taking out a student loan for just one year to figure your shit out. I know you're in quite a bit of debt right now and don't want to get into more, but. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Here's the college I went to. Yes, your work is sufficient to potentially get admitted. Believe it or not, art school's get that illustration is a learned skill. Artists start from all different levels:

Look through the admissions requirements to see if you have the academic records to be admitted. If not, you could also consider upgrading through online classes aswell.

Again though, your best bet is to try to find employment. The cost of living isn't great here right now, but it isn't great anywhere. I doubt you'll be able to find cheaper rent in America.

Once you're here or wherever you end up, away from the chaos of your home, you might find it a lot easier to get your head around, establishing some better independence and becoming a citizen by yourself. It's a shitty process, but not as bad as the one you guys have in the States. We stan an immigrant here.

You need to look out for you, Mikaila. It's not selfish. It's not a matter of whether you "really deserve it or not." Nobody's going to save you. You're emotionally spent because of your parents, You're emotionally spent because of Lily. And it feels kind of nice how much Lily needs you. But you can't help her until you help yourself - and again, if we're all wrong and Lily really loves you, she shouldn't have a problem with you finding your way.

My own mother once told me I was "born sad." I've never not hated myself. I ate up any little bit of love and validation no matter how many bitter, razor pills that came with it too. That's just how it is for some of us.

But you know what Mikaila? Fuck em. Fuck all of them. Fuck everything. Fuck me, Mikaila. You've got one life. One body. One you. Whatever you think of her, someone's gotta fight for that poor bitch. Why not you fight for you?

Everyone's a stinky meat bag stripped down, Mikaila. Everyone's made a fool in the wake of the shit people like you and I have been through. Not everyone's going to be able to forgive everything, but everyone's not wholly past forgiveness.

I'm no better than you Mikaila. Nobody is. Some of us just get to know the worst sides of ourselves better than others.

I don't like some of the things you've done, girl. But I see you. I get it. Tell us all to eat shit. Fix your life. Don't rely on Lily to make you feel whole or to save you. To make you feel worthy. No person can do that. She could be the reincarnation of Mary Mother of God herself, and you couldn't expect that from her. Be your own advocate. If your relationship isn't toxic, it can survive you becoming a more whole you.

This asshole is rooting for you. Give me an excuse to undoomer "Mikailer." My girl needs a win.

[prettynice8]

The Birthday Boy

Kim Hongjoong x male reader

This guy

Stuff: gay shit, fluff, smut, fucking, cuddle fucking, missionary, anal fingering, rimming.

Story: reader is a part of ateez and has been in love with Hongjoong for a few months now, and finally something happens.

Word Count: 1,542

Note: so, I haven't written in a while... my bad. But more importantly, happy birthday Hongjoong!

Hongjoong was utterly stunned when he saw the vibrant decorations hung around the dance practice room. His friends all gathered around as they yell "SURPRISE! HAPPY 25TH!" with bright smiles all over their faces. He thought he was just coming to any other day of practice and eating dinner and going on live with everyone later, but thanks to you, he also got this vibrant party.

A few weeks ago, you brought the idea up to the rest of Ateez, who all absolutely loved the thought of a surprise party. So, it's thanks to you that this whole surprise party idea was started. You all pitched on the decorations while you got up extra early to set them up, even going as far to bake the glorious cake.

Hongjoong had that adorable smile on his face when you all shocked him with the party.

"Guys... thank you so much!" He said, laughing lightly as his smile beamed, filling the whole room with his aura of joy.

"It was Y/N's idea." Seonghwa said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. Hongjoong looked at you with a glimmer in his high, clearly having much gratitude and... adoration.

Your face erupted in blush from his tender gaze, your emotions being a mix of nervousness, embarrassment, pride, adoration, and of course, love for the leader.

"Your uhm... your welcome." You said sweetly, still a little embarrassment from the effect that his tender expression is having on you.

Hongjoong slowly walks over to you before wrapping his arms around you tightly. He tucks his head in your shoulder as light tears fall from his eyes.

"I mean it, thank you. This is so sweet." He expressed vulnerability.

"Of course, Captain." You replied cheerfully.

And with that, the party goes on, you guys play all kinds of games, have Hongjoong open his presents, saving the best for last, yours.

He unwraps the gift to find a beautiful jacket, clearly quite expensive. It is vaguely 80's inspired, with all kinds of colorful shapes littered throughout it for the fashion diva himself.

"Do you like it?" You asked, awaiting his response.

"I love it, it's so cute." He responded before placing a gentle kiss on your cheek, causing your light blush that you've had all the way up until now to erupt into a full deep red shade.

As the cake is given out, Hongjoong is talking with Yunho, Yeosang, Seonghwa, and Jongho. While Mingi, San, and Wooyoung are with you.

"Great job on the party Maverick." Mingi compliments.

"Aw shucks, thank you." You replied with a smile, very proud of the whole ordeal. San wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer so he can whisper in your ear without others listening, or more specifically, Hongjoong.

"So, when are you going to make your move?" He asked, as if your crush on Hongjoong is just the most obvious thing.

"Wh-what do you mean?" You questioned back, trying to play coy even though it is so obvious to San.

"Don't play stupid, we all know you're in love with him. Why don't you two just date already, it's obvious you're in love." He states plainly, acting as though this isn't one of the biggest deals in your whole life.

"But what if he doesn't feel the same? Then I'm still Hongjoongless and things would be awkward." You admitted, fearful of the ever-encompassing threat that he may not feel the same way.

"Don't give me that high school bull shit. He loves you, it's so obvious." He, again, states plainly, treating this whole situation like some high school melodrama, which it kind of is.

"WHAT!" You accidentally yelled out in surprise at San's super casual statement, having realized that you've completely wasted the past few months worrying about the captain's love when it was ALLEGEDLY so obvious to everyone but you, man, are you oblivious.

You look over at Hongjoong, which he notices and looks over at you. That's when you see it, the thing that has evaded you all this time, that glint in his eyes and particularly adorable smile when he sees you. He looks as though everything is darker but you, that makes everything else so much less beautiful just from your own ever-present glow. The same look that you always give him.

As the party dies down and the other members go home, it is stuck with just you and Hongjoong sitting on the couch, cuddled together sweetly in the aftermath of the surprise party. The decorations littered throughout, having made quite the mess.

"I decorated everything, you can clean it up." You stated.

"I'm the birthday boy! I'm not cleaning anything today." He exclaimed.

"Then clean tomorrow when you're no longer the birthday boy." You countered, all in good fun. He pulls you closer, really cuddling with you now. The closeness makes your head all dizzy, and your stomach almost bursting with butterflies.

Hongjoong realizes your dazed look and puts his hand under your cheek, bringing your face to look at his own. He stays like that for a while, his light breathing against your lips. You also just stay there, lips slightly apart as you stare into his eyes.

He breaks the moment by pulling your lips into his. You're stunned for a few seconds before eagerly returning the embrace, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

His hands go down to squeeze your hips, grinding his lower body against his own, eliciting a light moan from your mouth which he takes full advantage of, shoving his tongue into your mouth, entangling it with his own.

His body grows bolder, grinding his growing and clothed hard on against yours, his hands going down even more to tightly grab your ass, causing you to moan more.

As you both moan into each other's mouths, the kiss grows more and more passionate by the second, his fingers go into your pants, circling your ring of muscle, causing you to slightly pull away from the kiss in surprise.

"Sorry, too much?" He apologized, pulling his hands away.

"Fuck no, you feel how hard I am? Don't stop now." You replied, sitting on his lap and grinding against him even harder, your hand going down to palm him through his pants.

He quickly puts his finger into your muscle, making you have a loud yelp of pleasure and pain at the swift insertion. He slowly pumps the finger in and out, looking into your eyes for any sense of hesitation. You give him the opposite, looking back with a dazed and horny look.

He quickly takes off his shirt, revealing his strong and fit form, he then quickly dispels your own clothes, leaving you completely bare, your hard cock at full attention.

He slowly pumps your leaking member, bringing the pre cum to his mouth, licking it off his hand.

"Mmm, you taste so good baby." He exclaims before placing you on your hands and knees, diving into your ass.

He shoves his tongue into your rim, getting you ready for the main event to come. His tongue sends jolts of electricity through your body, going right to your mouth as you moan in delight from his skilled tongue.

Once he's decided that you're probably ready enough, pulling his pants down and gently flipping you over on to your back.

"I want to see you." He admitted sweetly. "You ready?" You quickly nod, giving him the consent needed to slowly push past your tight ring.

He slowly inserts himself at a leisurely pace, his mouth on yours the whole time, swallowing the cries of pleasure and pain.

Once he's bottomed out, he pulls away from your mouth, looking at your face for permission to move, which you give him with a quick nod.

He starts slowly moving inside you at a slow but steady place, causing light moans to leave both of your lips. Those light moans turn much louder and frequent as he quickens the pace of his well-timed thrusts, looking into your face the whole time with love.

You look back with equal adoration, wrapping your arms and legs around him to pull him closer, making him let out a particularly loud moan, which he returns by slowly pumping your achingly hard member.

"Fuck... I'm close." You let out, pulling him closer, feeling so overwhelmingly and beautifully close to him.

"Me too, can I...?" He asked, clearly asking for permission to cum inside you.

"Fuck yes, please." You replied, allowing him to cum inside your tight hole, which is exactly what he does.

His own orgasm gives you the final push you need to cum in his hand. He gently thrusts his hips in and out while slowly pumping your cock with his hand, driving out both of you shared orgasms.

He stays inside you while hugging you tightly, gently kissing your neck.

"I love you." He declared, his voice tired from the orgasm but still filled with conviction and sincerity.

"I fucking love you too, Hongjoong." You responded, gently kissing his forehead before drifting off to sleep, his head on your chest as you held him closely. The first love making of many, and the start of a new and wonderful relationship for you two.

THE END

Final Notes: hey, I wrote something, your welcome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGJOONG.

[autisticrosewilson]

Um if you write Jason having to get drugs for Catherine I want you dead btw. Not only does it tell me you assume the average drug dealer would give the hard shit to a very small child and then not supervise them at all (classist stereotype that all drug dealers are inherently evil + lazy writing with no grasp on reality) and you genuinely think that Catherine was CONSTANTLY high, as if that's even possible without overdosing far sooner than she did. That's without even getting into the bad mom Catherine propaganda.

[corvid-language-library]

.

[anaalnathrakhs]

love this part of my life where the things that are difficult but challenging and good for me are things i can stop and skip and halfass, but the things that are difficult and painful and pointless are the things i have to live with no matter what

[pollen]

i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like

[guinevereslancelot]

for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh

[readyfreddy]

The team I work for announced their promotional schedule for the upcoming season, looking forward to it for the most part, and hopefully they'll be better than last season (they were worst in their conference and second last in the league, it has to get better, right?).

In the winter of 2023, I came forward and explained that I think that hosting a 'pride night' next season would be great. I did hours of research, data analysis, only to have my presentation shut down due to "discussion among ownership." With this, I basically came out to my manager and to most of the front office staff, I am lucky to be surrounded by a bunch of great people at all levels of the organization.

At the beginning of last season, I found out that they basically did their own 'pride/hockey is for everyone' night, and it fucking stung. Make no mistake, I'm thrilled that they're trying to make the rink/sport a more inclusive space. It stings because they know how much time I put into this, as well as the risk of coming out in a place where people like me aren't common or even welcomed (as of writing this, there's no POC on the roster, three POC (myself included) working in various positions at the team, and two queer people (business side, myself included).

Since their hockey is for everyone night is earlier in the season than last year's, I suspect that things have already been set in place and by the time I'm officially back, it's going to be too late to have any meaningful contribution.

Last season's hockey is for everyone night went pretty good, with most players using pride tape and saying supportive messages for the team's social media and in game video. I am so happy that they were able to do this, and I am hoping that this season's night goes equally as well. I am hoping that I am able to help in a future season's pride/hockey is for everyone night (provided I continue working there).

I wish I could truthfully say that hockey is for everyone, but there are so many barriers and cultural factors that would need to change to make that true.

[apocalypticdemon]

I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

[swagging-back-to]

finally went and got my GED diploma a year after i graduated :)))))

[menshusband]

What does a man have to do not to live in constant dread

[wwillywonka]

.

[harmaanoita]

.

[ruvviks]

it's kind of funny how i'll sit down to get some work done and immediate physical exhaustion wipes me the fuck out and renders me unable to do anything. and i'm supposed to start working full-time with this body soon