#i don't hate any and all romance in fiction but it gets annoying when it keeps popping up unannounced

[aromanticduck]

There should be a website for aspecs that's a bit like doesthedogdie.com where it warns if a movie has sex scenes, romantic subplots, or amatonormative tropes.

[03jyh23]

🌷⌇ our first day finding our way back part 5; a choi jongho mini-series

ex-boyfriend! idol! jongho x ex-girlfriend! single-mom! reader

│ series masterlist│ │next │

│synopsis: five years have passed since jongho last saw you. your lives have taken drastically different paths, with jongho achieving fame and you focusing on raising your daughter, nari, in quiet anonymity. when jongho discovers he has a daughter, he's determined to be a part of her life.

│genre: a slice of life, romance, fluff, some angst

│trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, illegitimate child, single parenthood

│words: 9 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! i hope all of you had a good week! i'm so happy to finally write more nari as im aware that's what you've been looking for! we are only getting started with dad jongho moments so im excited for the future updates, even if it means we are getting closer to the end :( i don't really have much to say regarding this part, i hope you will enjoy it!!!

love, mon ♡

│taglist: │ @seventeenthingsblr @DALSUWAHA

@treehouse-mouse @ateez-atiny380 @yoonshiiu

@sndeoki @bomi-ja @dearinsaniiiity

@vixensss @all-fandoms-rise

@finnydraws @hyuckiesgf @jonghosbrainrot

@ateezswonderland @stayatinykatsy @chickenscoups ♡

♡ if you wish to be tagged let me know here! ♡

Jongho hung up the phone and started gathering his things, his mind racing with thoughts of Nari and the urgency in your voice. He mentally ran through everything he might need for the day. His movements were quick but slightly clumsy in his haste. He grabbed his shoes, slipping them on as he made his way to the door. Just as he was about to leave his room, he realized he hadn't taken his car keys. With a small, frustrated sigh, he turned back and scanned the room, spotting them on the nightstand. He snatched them up and then reached for a jacket from the rack, knowing the morning air might still be chilly. 

As he shrugged on the jacket, his mind was solely focused on getting to you and Nari as quickly as possible. In his rush, his legs tangled momentarily, causing him to stumble. He steadied himself, taking a deep breath to clear his head. He couldn't afford to waste any more time. 

"Shit, I can't just go empty-handed," he whispered to himself. Jongho quickly scanned the room, looking for something to bring. There was nothing suitable for a little girl. He sighed, not wanting to visit without bringing Nari anything. As he scanned the room one last time, his eyes landed on a small collection of his belongings, none of which seemed appropriate for his daughter. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the weight of the situation. He wanted to make a good impression, to show Nari that he was thinking about her and cared enough to bring something special. "Wooyoung's gonna hate me but a man gotta do what he gotta do," he thought, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite the urgency. Taking a deep breath, he left his room and walked down the hall to Wooyoung's door. He hesitated momentarily, knowing it was still early and that Wooyoung might not appreciate being woken up. But there was no other option. He needed to do this. With a determined knock, Jongho rapped on the door. He waited, shifting from foot to foot as he listened for any signs of movement inside. After a few moments, he knocked again, a little louder this time. Finally, he heard the sound of shuffling footsteps and the door creaked open to reveal a very sleepy and slightly annoyed Wooyoung. 

"Jongho? What the hell? It's barely dawn," Wooyoung grumbled, rubbing his eyes and squinting at Jongho. 

Jongho took a deep breath, trying to remain patient. "I know, Wooyoung, and I'm really sorry for waking you. But I need a favor. I'm going to meet Nari now, and I want to bring her something special. Do you happen to have any new Aniteez merch lying around?" 

Wooyoung's expression softened slightly as he processed Jongho's words. "You're going to see Nari?" he asked, his annoyance giving way to curiosity and a hint of understanding. 

Jongho nodded. "Yeah, Y/N called me. She has an emergency at work. I need to get there as soon as possible, and I want to make a good impression. I thought some merch might be a nice gesture." 

Wooyoung sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Alright but why would I have our merch, Jongho?" Wooyoung asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Jongho sighed, "I know it's a long shot, but you're always the one who ends up with the extra stuff after our events. Do you have anything or not?" 

"Ugh!" A groan was heard from the bedroom, followed by a muffled voice both Wooyoung and Jongho couldn’t understand. "Sannie, if you want to tell us something, would you keep your head above the pillow, please?" Wooyoung requested, his tone soft when he spoke. 

There was a brief pause, then the sound of rustling sheets and a louder, clearer voice. "Woo, just give him the car," San's voice came through more clearly now, filled with sleepiness and a hint of exasperation. 

"What are you... oh! Oh!" Wooyoung exclaimed, suddenly wide awake. He rushed to his wardrobe, flinging open the doors with newfound urgency. Jongho watched as Wooyoung rummaged through his clothes, tossing aside shirts and hoodies in his search. It felt like an eternity, but finally, Wooyoung emerged holding a packaged box. 

"I bought it for Kyungmin, he was supposed to visit today but he can’t because he’s sick, and mom won’t let him," Wooyoung explained, handing over the box with a sigh. "I'm going to buy him another one soon, so you can take it." 

Jongho raised his eyebrow, a mix of surprise and gratitude washing over his face. "It's a car?" he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity and relief. He hadn't expected Wooyoung to have something so perfect on hand. 

Wooyoung nodded, a small smile playing on his lips as he saw Jongho's reaction. "Yeah, it's one of those remote-controlled cars. Kyungmin loves them, and I think it might be something Nari could enjoy too." 

Jongho hesitated for a moment, considering Wooyoung's words. "But Nari is way younger than Kyungmin. Do you think she can play with it safely?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. 

Wooyoung paused, scratching his head thoughtfully. "You’re right, Jongho. Maybe it’s not the best idea. But it's the only thing I have right now. Just make sure to supervise her while she's playing with it. She might still have fun, even if she can't control it perfectly." Wooyoung smiled thoughtfully. "You know what? One day, Kyungmin could teach Nari how to drive it. It could be something they bond over, and who knows, maybe she'll become a pro at it before you know it." He chuckled as he imagined the two kids playing together. Jongho loved the idea, he was looking forward to the future, to see his daughter spending time with his members, and bonding with Kyungmin seemed like a great idea. The sweet boy could be like a big brother to Nari, and maybe one day, they would become best friends.  

"Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. Thanks, Wooyoung. I owe you one." He took the car from Wooyoung's hands, feeling a little more at ease with having something to bring to Nari. 

Wooyoung waved off the gratitude with a casual shrug. "It's no big deal. Just get going already. The sooner you get there, the better." 

Jongho nodded, clutching the box tightly. "You're right. Thanks again, Wooyoung. I'll make it up to you." 

"Just go," Wooyoung chuckled, closing the door softly as Jongho turned to leave, his steps more determined now, bolstered by the unexpected gift and his friend's support. 

Jongho made his way out of the apartment, the remote-controlled car securely tucked under his arm. The morning air was crisp, and he took a deep breath, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. He quickly got into his car, started the engine, and headed towards your place; his mind focused on the day ahead with Nari. And as he drove, he couldn't help but wonder if he would do a good job. He feared not meeting Nari's needs. After all, he didn't know how to handle a 4-year-old. The questions swirled in his mind, each one adding to the knot of anxiety in his chest. He tried to reassure himself, remembering the warmth in your voice when you thanked him and the genuine eagerness, he felt about spending time with his daughter. But doubts still lingered. Would he be able to comfort her if she got upset? What if she didn't like him or felt uncomfortable around him? The fear of not being able to connect with Nari gnawed at him, making him grip the steering wheel a little tighter. The weight of responsibility felt immense. Jongho's mind kept racing with scenarios, each one more daunting than the last. What if Nari got hurt while they were playing? Would he know how to handle a scraped knee or a bump on the head? The thought of his daughter in pain made his heartache. He also worried about making sure she had a good time. He wanted her to feel happy and cherished, to have fun, and to create positive memories with him. The pressure to make everything perfect was overwhelming. Yet, amidst all the worries, there was a flicker of hope. The thought of seeing Nari's smile, of hearing her laugh, filled him with determination. He was willing to try his best. He knew that being present and attentive were the most important things he could offer. And with that thought, Jongho felt a small sense of calm wash over him. He took another deep breath, focusing on the road ahead, and silently promised himself that he would do everything in his power to be the father Nari deserved. He pulled his car into the parking lot of your apartment complex, the engine's hum gradually fading as he turned it off. Jongho took a moment to collect his thoughts, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. The morning sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, casting a soft, golden light across the surroundings. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the box with the toy inside and stepped out of the car, the cool morning air brushing against his skin. As he closed the door to his car, Jongho noticed a small flower shop across the street. A delivery car was parked in front of the entrance, overflowing with beautiful flowers. The sight of the vibrant blooms caught his eye, and he jogged over, hoping it wouldn't take too much time. 

"Excuse me? Are you open?" he called out as he approached the shop. 

An old lady with white curly hair and a kind smile on her face turned to him. "Oh, hello young man," she replied warmly. "We are not opening until later today." 

Jongho's face fell slightly, but he quickly gathered himself. "I see. It's just that I'm in a bit of a hurry, and I wanted to get something special for my daughter. It's our first day really spending time together, and I thought some flowers might brighten her day." 

The old lady's expression softened even more. "Your daughter, you say? How sweet. Well, I suppose I could make an exception just this once. What kind of flowers were you thinking of?" 

Jongho smiled, relief washing over him. "Thank you so much. I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. Maybe something colorful?" 

The old lady nodded thoughtfully and walked over to the delivery car. "I think I have just the thing," she said, selecting a small bouquet of mixed flowers. The arrangement was a delightful mix of daisies, tulips, and a few roses, bursting with color and life. "These should do nicely," she said, handing the bouquet to Jongho. "I hope your daughter loves them." 

Jongho took the bouquet, his smile widening. "I'm sure she will. Thank you again, really. You've made my day a lot easier." 

The old lady chuckled softly, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "How about a little something for your wife as well, dear? A thoughtful gesture can go a long way." 

"My wife?" he asked, at first, he furrowed his brow but soon a soft smile appeared on his lips, he couldn't help but feel warm inside at the thought of being married to you. The assumption of the lady made his heart race, a soft blush creeping up his cheeks. He hadn't thought about getting a bouquet for you, but now he found himself considering it. The idea of surprising you with flowers, of seeing your face light up with a smile, filled him with a sense of joy and anticipation. He imagined you standing at the door, bouquet in hand, your eyes sparkling with surprise and happiness. The image was so vivid and heartwarming that he couldn't resist. "You know what, that's a wonderful idea," Jongho said, his voice filled with newfound excitement. "I'll take another bouquet for my wife as well." 

The old lady's smile widened as she selected another beautiful arrangement, this one with soft pastel colors and delicate blooms. "Here you go, young man. I hope both your daughter and wife have a lovely day," she said, handing him the second bouquet. 

Jongho accepted the flowers, his heart swelling with gratitude. "Thank you so much. You've really made my day," he replied, his voice sincere. He took out his wallet and paid, leaving a big tip. The flower shop owner looked a bit frustrated. 

"Oh, that's way too much!" she exclaimed, trying to hand some of the money back. 

"Please, keep it," Jongho insisted with a warm smile. "Consider it a thank you for your kindness." The old lady sighed but eventually accepted, her expression softening. 

"Alright, if you insist. Thank you, and good luck with your day," she said, waving him off. 

As Jongho approached your apartment complex, he felt a mix of nerves and excitement. Balancing the bouquets and the remote-controlled car, he made his way up the stairs, replaying the conversation with the flower shop owner in his mind. He hoped the flowers would bring a smile to both your faces and help ease the tension of the morning. He took a deep breath before knocking on your door, the sound echoing softly in the early morning quiet. Moments later, the door opened to reveal you, a look of relief washing over your face as you saw Jongho standing there with flowers in his hand. 

"Jongho, you didn't have to—" you started, but he gently interrupted you. 

"I wanted to. For you," he said softly, handing you the bouquet. "I thought it might brighten your day a bit." 

You took the flowers, a smile spreading across your face. "I can't remember the last time someone got me flowers." You took the bouquet, your smile growing wider as you brought it to your nose and inhaled its fresh scent. The tension in your shoulders seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of warmth and appreciation. "Thank you, this really means a lot to me," you said, your voice soft with emotion. 

Jongho felt his heart lighten at your response, a small smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for accepting them," Jongho replied, his voice filled with warmth. "I just wanted to make you smile." 

As you let him into the apartment, you noticed another bouquet in his hand and a big box under his arm. "What's all this?" you asked, curiosity piqued as you glanced at the items he was carrying. 

Jongho grinned, holding up the second bouquet. "This one is for Nari. I thought she might like some flowers too." He then gestured to the box. "And I brought her a little gift. It's a remote-controlled car. I hope she will like it." 

Your heart swelled with appreciation, and you couldn't help but smile at his thoughtfulness. "That's so sweet of you. She's going to love it." 

Jongho's grin widened, a sense of relief washing over him. "I'm just happy to spend time with her and make her day special." You led him inside, placing the flowers in a vase on the kitchen counter. 

"I will go and wake her up," you announced, turning towards her room. 

Jongho hesitated, a look of concern crossing his face. "Do you have to? It's still early," he said softly, his eyes glancing towards the clock on the wall. "I don't want to disrupt her sleep." 

"She might feel a little overwhelmed when she wakes up and I'm not here," you said, a touch of worry in your voice. "She's not used to waking up without me around, and I know it could be a bit disorienting for her." You paused for a moment, your eyes softening as you looked at Jongho. "If you will want to come over more often, then with time she will get used to waking up to you," you reassured him, your voice gentle and comforting. "It might take a little while, but children are adaptable. She'll come to expect and look forward to seeing you in the mornings. It will be a new routine for her, and routines can be very comforting for kids. Plus, having you around more often will help her feel more secure and loved." 

Jongho listened intently, feeling a sense of hope and determination growing within him. Your words were like a soothing balm to his worries, and he couldn't help but smile at the thought of becoming a consistent presence in Nari's life. "Thank you, Y/N," he said softly, his voice filled with gratitude. "That really means a lot to me. I'll do my best to be there for her, to be someone she can rely on." 

You nodded, your eyes meeting his with a look of understanding and support. "I know you will, Jongho. You're already doing a great job by being here today. Just take it one step at a time, and everything will fall into place." 

You went to Nari's room, the sight of her sleeping peacefully brought a warm smile to your face, but you knew that you had to wake her. "Sweetheart?" you called softly, your voice gentle as you reached out to gently brush her hair from her forehead. You kneeled beside her bed, your heart heavy with the knowledge that you were about to disrupt her peaceful slumber. "Nari, it's time to wake up," you whispered, your tone soothing and filled with love. You hated to wake her up, especially when she looked so serene, but you knew it was for the best. The day ahead was important, and you wanted to make sure she had time to adjust and feel comfortable with Jongho's presence. As Nari stirred and slowly opened her eyes, you gave her a reassuring smile. "Good morning, my little angel, I know it's early, but mommy needs to leave for work, and somebody special will keep you company today," you said softly, "I know you'll have a wonderful time together," you continued, giving her a reassuring smile. "He's looking forward to playing with you and making today really fun." 

Nari blinked sleepily, her eyes gradually focusing on you. "Who, mommy?" she asked, her voice still groggy from sleep. 

"It's Uncle Jongho, sweetie," you replied gently. "He's waiting with a special surprise just for you." Nari's eyes widened with curiosity and excitement, and she slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Do you want to go together with mommy and see him?" you asked, your voice filled with warmth and encouragement. Nari nodded eagerly, her excitement growing at the prospect of seeing Jongho and the special surprise he had brought. Taking her small body in your arms, you took her to the living room where Jongho was waiting. The moment Nari saw the flowers and the box, her eyes lit up with wonder. "Look, Nari, Uncle Jongho brought you some flowers and a special gift," you said, your voice filled with warmth. 

Your daughter’s face broke into a wide smile as she looked at the flowers and the box. "For me?" she asked, her voice filled with delight. 

Jongho nodded, "Yes, for you, princess. I hope you like them," he said warmly, handing her the bouquet and the box. Nari took the flower in her tiny hand, her eyes lighting up with delight. She smiled brightly, then hid her face behind the bouquet, her giggle filling the living room with a sound as sweet as music. The sight of her joy was enough to melt anyone's heart, and it was clear that the flowers had made a wonderful impression. Her reaction brought a sense of warmth and accomplishment to Jongho, who watched her with a tender expression, feeling more determined than ever to make the day special for her. 

"Can Uncle give you a hug?" Jongho asked, his arms spread wide to welcome her tiny figure. Nari looked at him with big, curious eyes, her smile growing even wider. She hesitated for just a moment before nodding eagerly, you took a step closer to Jongho, so he could take her in his arms, and the second he did so, Nari wrapped her small hands around Jongho's neck. 

Jongho's heart melted as he gently hugged her back, feeling the warmth and innocence of her embrace. "Thank you, princess," he whispered softly, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm so happy to be here with you today." 

Nari giggled, her laughter like a sweet melody filling the room. "I'm happy too, Uncle Jongho!" she said, her voice bright with excitement. 

Jongho put her down, looking into her sparkling eyes. "We're going to have so much fun today, I promise," he said, his tone full of genuine eagerness. 

Nari's eyes lit up even more, the anticipation of the day's adventures evident on her face. "Okay! What are we going to do first?" she asked, her curiosity bubbling over. 

Jongho chuckled, glancing over at you with a grateful smile. "Well, we have a whole day ahead of us. How about we start with opening your special gift?" he suggested, pointing to the box with the remote-controlled car. 

"How about starting with breakfast?" you chimed in with a warm smile as you began to gather your belongings to leave. You glanced at Nari, who was still beaming from the excitement of seeing Jongho and her new gifts. 

"Mommy's right," Jongho agreed with a chuckle, smile ever leaving his face, "Let's have some breakfast first. We can open your special gift." 

Nari looked up at both of you, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Okay, Uncle Jongho!" she said eagerly, her small hands still clutching the bouquet of flowers he had given her. 

You nodded in agreement, your smile widening as you saw the bond beginning to form between Jongho and Nari. "Breakfast sounds like a great idea. How about some pancakes and fruit?" you suggested, knowing it was one of Nari's favorite meals. 

Jongho's eyes lit up at the idea. "Pancakes and fruits it is, then," he said enthusiastically. 

"Sweetheart, mommy is leaving, come give me a kiss," you called softly, bending down to Nari's level. Nari quickly ran over to you, her tiny arms wrapping around your neck as she planted a sweet kiss on your cheek. "I love you, mommy," she whispered, her voice filled with warmth. 

"I love you too, my little angel," you replied, hugging her tightly before standing up and giving Jongho a grateful smile. 

"I'm taking Nari to the studio later," Jongho reminded you, his voice gentle. "Do you have a child seat for her? I want to make sure she's safe and comfortable during the ride." 

You nodded, appreciating his thoughtfulness. "Yes, I have one in the closet. Let me get it for you," you replied, heading towards the closet to retrieve the seat. "Thank you for being so considerate, Jongho." 

Jongho smiled warmly, his eyes reflecting his genuine concern. "Of course, Y/N. I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly today." 

You handed him the child seat, feeling a sense of gratitude for his attentiveness. "Here it is. I know she'll be in good hands with you." 

Jongho took the seat from you, his expression one of determination and affection. "Thank you. We'll have a great time, I promise." 

"Take good care of her, Jongho. And have fun, you two." 

Jongho nodded, his heart swelling with determination and affection. "I will, Y/N. Don't worry, we'll have a great time." 

You gave them both one last smile before heading out the door, feeling a sense of peace knowing that Nari was in good hands. 

"So, would you like to help me with the pancakes?" Jongho smiled warmly at his little daughter, his eyes twinkling with excitement. He moved towards the kitchen, opening the shelves in search of a pan and a bowl. 

Nari's eyes lit up with enthusiasm, and she nodded eagerly. "Yes, Uncle Jongho! I love helping!" she exclaimed, her small hands clapping together in excitement. 

Jongho chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Great! Let's find everything we need first," he said, pulling out a pan and a large mixing bowl. He placed them on the counter and started to gather the ingredients: flour, eggs, milk, and a few other essentials. 

Nari watched him intently, her curiosity piqued. "Can I crack the eggs?" she asked, her voice filled with anticipation. 

Jongho smiled and nodded. "Of course, princess. Just be careful, okay?" he said, handing her an egg. He guided her little hands, helping her crack the egg into the bowl without making a mess. "Great job!" he praised, ruffling her hair gently. Nari beamed with pride, her cheeks flushing with happiness. As they continued working together, Jongho explained each step, making sure to keep Nari engaged and involved. They measured out the flour, poured the milk, and mixed everything together, creating a smooth batter. Nari's giggles filled the room as she helped stir, her enthusiasm infectious "You're a natural chef, Nari," Jongho said with a grin. "I couldn't have done this without you." 

Nari's eyes sparkled with joy. "This is so much fun!" 

Jongho felt a warm sense of accomplishment as he watched Nari's excitement. The kitchen was filled with the delicious aroma of pancakes cooking on the stove, and he couldn't help but feel grateful for this precious time with her. "All right let's flip these pancakes and get ready to eat," Jongho said, expertly turning the golden-brown pancakes. "I think we're going to have a delicious breakfast, thanks to you." 

Nari giggled, her eyes shining with pride. "I can't wait to eat them!" 

Jongho plated the pancakes and added a generous serving of fresh fruit on the side. As they sat down to eat, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of Nari's delighted expression. "How do you like them? Do they taste good?" Jongho asked, watching Nari take her first bite of the pancakes. 

Nari's eyes widened in delight as she chewed, and she quickly nodded, her mouth too full to speak. After swallowing, she grinned at Jongho. "They're yummy, Uncle Jongho! The best pancakes ever!" 

Jongho's heart swelled with pride and relief. "I'm so glad you like them, princess," he said, taking a bite himself. The pancakes were light and fluffy, with just the right amount of sweetness from the fresh fruit. They continued eating, the room filled with the happy sound of Nari's giggles and the clink of forks against plates. Jongho couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over him. This moment, this simple breakfast, was everything he had hoped for and more. 

Nari chewed on her pancakes, her legs dangling from the chair. She glanced around as if making sure no one else was listening, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Just don't tell Mommy I told you this," she giggled, leaning closer to Jongho. She cupped her small hand around her mouth to whisper, adding an air of secrecy to her words. "But your pancakes are better than Mommy's." 

Jongho couldn't help but chuckle at her adorable confession. "Oh, really?" he whispered back, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I promise I won't tell. It'll be our little secret." 

Nari nodded vigorously, her giggles filling the room. "Okay, Uncle Jongho. It's a secret!" she said, her voice a mix of excitement and delight, as if she had just shared the most important secret in the world. 

After they finished eating, Jongho helped Nari clean up the kitchen, turning the chore into a fun game. They washed the dishes together, Nari's laughter echoing through the apartment as she splashed water playfully. Once everything was clean, Jongho turned to Nari with a smile. "Ready to open your special gift now?" he asked, gesturing to the box with the remote-controlled car. 

Nari's eyes lit up with excitement. "Yes, please!" she squealed, bouncing on her toes. Jongho chuckled and led her to the sofa, where the box was waiting. He carefully helped her open it, revealing the shiny remote-controlled car inside. Nari's face lit up with pure joy as she examined the car, her fingers tracing over its sleek surface. 

"Wow, it's so cool!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with wonder. "It's my first car!" 

Jongho handed her the remote control. "Want to give it a try?" he asked with a grin. Nari eagerly took the remote, her small fingers gripping it tightly. With a little guidance from Jongho, she soon had the car zooming around the living room, her laughter filling the space as she chased it around. Jongho watched her with a smile, feeling a sense of fulfillment wash over him. This was what it was all about, creating these precious moments, building memories, and being there for her. As the car raced around the room, Nari's giggles were contagious, filling the apartment with joy. Jongho couldn't help but join in the fun, cheering her on and occasionally taking the remote to show her a few tricks. The morning flew by in a whirlwind of laughter and play, each moment more precious than the last. 

Jongho didn't notice the time passing untill his phone started to ring in his pocket. He picked it up, seeing Hongjoong calling him. "Hey, I heard from Wooyoung that you had a small emergency. Should we start the practice without you?" Hongjoong asked, his voice filled with concern. 

Jongho glanced at Nari, who was happily playing with her new toy. "Yeah, something came up," Jongho replied, "I'm taking care of Nari today. It's... it's really important." 

Hongjoong's tone softened. "I understand, she comes first. We can manage practice without you for today." 

"Thanks, hyung. I really appreciate it. But we'll be there as soon as we can. I just need to prepare Nari to leave, and then we will join you guys." 

"You sure you want to come today? It's fine if you want to skip and spend time with her." Hongjoong's voice was filled with understanding. 

"No, no, it's fine. Until I am not officially on hiatus, I want to continue with practices," Jongho insisted, determination evident in his tone. 

Hongjoong sighed but didn't push further. "Alright, Jongho. Just take your time and join us when you can." 

"Thanks, Hongjoong. I'll see you soon," Jongho said, hanging up the phone with a renewed sense of purpose. 

Jongho took a deep breath, glancing around the room for a moment before turning his attention back to Nari. "Alright, princess, we need to get ready to go out," he said gently, crouching down to her level. "We're going to meet the rest of the uncles today, what do you say?" 

Nari looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. "Really? Can I bring my car?" she asked, her excitement bubbling over. "Oh! Is Uncle Wooyoungie going to be there?!" she jumped from excitement, her eyes shining with anticipation. Nari's energetic reaction brought a warm smile to Jongho's face. He could see how much she adored Wooyoung, and the thought of seeing him made her even more enthusiastic. 

Jongho nodded, sharing her excitement. "Yes, Uncle Wooyoung will be there, along with the rest of the uncles. They're all looking forward to meeting you again," he said warmly. 

Nari's excitement was palpable as she started to bounce on her toes. "Yay! I can't wait to show Uncle Wooyoung my new car! He's going to love it!" She clutched the car tightly, her joy filling the room. 

Jongho chuckled, feeling a sense of pride and happiness. "I'm sure he'll be very impressed. Did you know that Uncle Wooyoung has a little brother who also likes cars?" Jongho mentioned, "Maybe you can play with him too sometime." 

Nari's eyes widened with excitement. "Really? That sounds fun! I can't wait to meet him!" she exclaimed, her enthusiasm growing even more. 

Jongho smiled, feeling a sense of warmth at her excitement. "I'm sure you'll get along great. Now, let's get ready and head out. We don't want to keep Uncle Wooyoung and the others waiting. Should I help you dress up?" Jongho asked gently, looking down at Nari with a warm smile. 

"Uncle, don't be silly! I'm a big girl, I can dress myself!" Nari replied with a confident smile, already running off to her room to pick out her outfit. 

Jongho chuckled, watching her with a proud smile. "Alright, princess. I'll be right here if you need any help," he called after her, feeling a sense of admiration for her independence. As Nari disappeared into her room, Jongho took a moment to tidy up the living room, making sure everything was in order before they left. He glanced at his phone, checking the time and mentally planning the rest of the day. 

He heard Nari's little steps running toward the living room, "Uncle Jongho, can you help me reach my shelf, please?" she asked, her voice filled with determination and a hint of impatience. 

Jongho looked up from tidying the living room, a warm smile spreading across his face. "Of course, princess. Let's see what we need to get from your shelf," he replied, following her. 

Nari led him to her bedroom, pointing excitedly at a high shelf where her favorite outfit was stored. "I want to wear my special, yellow dress today," she explained, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "It's up there, but I can't reach it." 

Jongho chuckled softly, appreciating her independence and enthusiasm. "No problem, Nari. Let's get that dress for you," he said, reaching up to grab the outfit. As he handed it to her, he couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the little girl who had quickly found a special place in his heart. 

Nari took the dress from him with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Uncle! You're the best," she said, hugging the dress to her chest. "I can't wait to show everyone my special dress and my new car." 

Jongho's heart warmed at her words, and he ruffled her hair gently. "You're going to look beautiful, princess. Let's get you dressed and ready to go meet the uncles," he said, feeling a sense of pride and joy as he watched her excitement. Nari nodded eagerly, her smile widening as she hurried to put on her special dress. Jongho stood by, ready to assist if needed, "Can you show me where you keep your tights? It's a bit chilly outside, and we need to put them on," Jongho asked gently, looking down at Nari with a warm smile. 

Nari pointed to a drawer with a determined look. "They're in there," she said confidently. Jongho opened the drawer and Nari quickly found a pair of tights that matched her dress perfectly. "Good choice, princess, the bees on thighs will look pretty with the yellow dress" he complimented, taking her to his lap to help her put them on. "Now you're all set to go." 

"I need to pack my backpack," she smiled, her excitement evident. "And I need to put on my earrings," she continued, starting to count on her fingers with a look of determination. "We also need to make up my bed before leaving! Oh, and I can't forget my bunny," she added, glancing around the room as if mentally checking off each task. "There's so much left to do!" 

Jongho chuckled, appreciating her thoroughness. "Alright, princess," he said warmly, "let's tackle everything one step at a time. I'll help you with your bag first, then we can find your earrings and make your bed together. How does that sound?" 

Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "That sounds perfect!" she said, grabbing her small backpack from her desk and starting to fill it with her essentials. 

Jongho felt a swell of affection as he watched her diligently prepare for their outing. Firstly, Nari packed her crayons, and a coloring book. She looked around the room again to ensure she got all she wanted with her. "Let's make sure we have everything we need, and then we'll be ready to go on our adventure." Once Nari had packed her bag and put on her earrings, Jongho helped her make the bed, they worked together, laughing and chatting, and soon the room was neat and tidy. "All set, princess?" Jongho asked, giving her a warm smile. 

Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she handed Jongho her beloved stuffed toy, a soft, pink bunny that she affectionately called Woo. "Can you take Woo for me? And my bag? So, I can take my car with me," she asked, her voice filled with anticipation and trust. 

Jongho smiled warmly, taking the stuffed bunny and her small backpack. "Of course, princess. I'll take good care of Woo and your bag," he reassured her, his tone gentle and affectionate. He slung her bag over his shoulder and carefully cradled the stuffed bunny in his other arm. 

Nari beamed up at him, "Thank you, Uncle Jongho! I can't wait to show everyone my new car," she said, clutching the toy tightly in her small hands. The prospect of the day's adventures filled her with joy, and she could hardly contain her enthusiasm. 

Jongho chuckled softly, feeling a sense of pride and happiness as he watched her. "You're very welcome, Nari. Let's get going and show everyone just how amazing your new car is," he said, leading her towards the door. Jongho gathered both his and Nari's belongings, carefully organizing everything to ensure they had what they needed for the day. He then secured the child seat under one arm, while gently lifting Nari into his other arm. She wrapped her tiny arms tightly around his neck, her head resting against his shoulder. The warmth of her embrace filled him with a sense of peace and purpose. As he balanced the child seat and Nari, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself, silently thanking San for all those rigorous gym sessions that now made it easier to handle such moments. With everything in place, Jongho felt a renewed sense of determination and affection as they headed out, ready to embark on their adventure together.  

As they walked out of the apartment and headed towards the parking lot, Nari's cheerful chatter filled the air. She talked excitedly about all the things she wanted to do with her new car, her imagination running wild with possibilities. Jongho listened attentively, his heart swelling with affection for the little girl. "I bet Uncle Wooyoung is going to be so impressed," Nari said, her voice brimming with excitement. "I can't wait to see their faces when they see my car zoom around!" 

Jongho nodded, sharing her enthusiasm. "I'm sure they will be. Your car is cool, and I know they'll love it just as much as you do," he replied, his tone filled with warmth and encouragement. 

As Jongho approached the car, he struggled to figure out how to properly install the child seat. His hands fumbled with the straps, and he let out a frustrated sigh. Just then, he noticed a young man a few cars away, facing a similar challenge. The man was holding a small girl, who seemed to be around Nari's age, and had a tiny baby in a carrier strapped to his chest. Determined to get some help, Jongho decided to approach the man. "Excuse me?" he called out, his voice polite but tinged with urgency. "Could you help me with this child seat? I'm having a bit of trouble." 

The young man looked up from his own struggle, his face softening with understanding. "Sure thing, just give me a moment," he replied, shifting the baby carrier slightly to free one hand. He walked over to Jongho, his small daughter trailing behind him, and offered a reassuring smile. "These can be a real pain, can't they?" 

Jongho nodded, grateful for the assistance. "Absolutely. I appreciate your help," he said, stepping aside to give the man better access to the seat. As the young man expertly adjusted the straps and secured the child seat, Jongho couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration. "You've got your hands full," Jongho commented, nodding towards the baby and the little girl. 

The man chuckled softly, a hint of pride in his eyes. "Yeah, it's a bit hectic, but I wouldn't trade it for anything," he said warmly. "You'll get the hang of it. Just takes a bit of practice." 

Jongho smiled, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him. "Thanks again. It means a lot," he said sincerely. 

"We dads need to help each other, right?" The guy smiled at him, and Jongho couldn't help but smile back, nodding gently. 

"Yeah, you're absolutely right," Jongho replied, feeling a sense of camaraderie. "It's nice to know there are other dads willing to lend a hand when you need it." 

The man adjusted the baby carrier on his chest and nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. Parenting can be challenging, but the love of your kids makes it all worthwhile." 

With the child seat now properly installed, he gave the man a grateful smile. "Thanks again. You've been a huge help," he said, feeling a sense of relief. 

The man waved it off with a kind smile. "No problem at all. Take care and have a great day with your little daughter," he replied, heading back to his own car. 

"Daughter?" Nari repeated the word, her big brown eyes looking up at Jongho, curiosity evident in her gaze. 

Jongho smiled gently, crouching down to her level. "Yes, princess. He thought you were my daughter," he explained softly, his eyes filled with warmth. "And in many ways, you are very special to me, just like a daughter." 

Nari's face lit up with a smile, and she wrapped her small arms around Jongho's neck. "I like that, Uncle Jongho," she said, her voice filled with affection. "Mommy told me I will meet my daddy soon, and I hope he will be just like you." 

Jongho's heart swelled with emotion at Nari's words. He gently held her tighter, feeling a deep sense of affection and responsibility. "Thank you, princess. That means a lot to me," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth. "I know your daddy will be wonderful, and until then, I'll always be here for you." 

Nari smiled brightly, her eyes sparkling with happiness. "You're the best," she said, her voice filled with certainty. Jongho felt a lump form in his throat as he looked at the little girl in his arms. He wished with all his heart that he could tell her right away, that he could let out the words he had been holding back. He longed to hear her call him daddy, to feel the warmth of that precious word fill the air between them. But he knew he couldn’t just tell her. Not yet. It wasn’t the right time, and he had to wait for the perfect moment to reveal the truth, no matter how much it pained him to keep it inside. With a deep breath, Jongho gently kissed Nari's forehead. 

He carefully placed Nari in her seat, ensuring that she was securely fastened. He double-checked the straps, making sure they were snug but comfortable. Once he was satisfied that everything was in place, he closed the car door gently and walked around to the driver's side. 

As he settled into the driver's seat, Jongho glanced back at Nari through the rearview mirror. "Are you comfortable, princess?" he asked, his voice filled with warmth and concern. 

Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes shining with excitement. "Yes, Uncle! I'm ready to go!" she replied, clutching her remote-controlled car tightly. 

Jongho smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him. He started the car, "Alright, let's get going," he said, pulling out of the parking spot and heading towards their destination. As he began driving towards the studio, Jongho couldn't help but glance at Nari through the rearview mirror. She was happily playing with her car, her face full of joy and innocence. The sight filled him with a sense of determination. He wanted to make sure she always felt safe, loved, and cherished. Jongho’s playlist was playing softly in the background as he drove, the gentle hum of the engine and the music creating a peaceful atmosphere.  

Suddenly, an ATEEZ song began to play, and Nari's eyes widened with excitement. She sat up straighter in her seat, her face lighting up with recognition. "Uncle! It's your song! It’s Wave!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with joy and wonder. "Play it louder, please!" 

Jongho glanced back at her through the rearview mirror, a smile spreading across his face at her enthusiasm. "You like this song?" he asked, reaching for the volume knob. 

Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling. "Yes! I love it! ATEEZ are the best singers!" Feeling a swell of pride, Jongho turned up the volume, letting the familiar melody fill the car. As the music played, Nari began to sing along, her sweet voice mingling with the song. Jongho couldn't help but join in, his deep, melodic voice harmonizing with hers. The car was filled with the joyful sound of their singing, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the world faded away. It was just the two of them, sharing this special moment together. Jongho felt a deep sense of contentment wash over him, grateful for the bond they started to create. 

As the song ended, Nari's laughter rang out, pure and happy. "That was so fun, Uncle Jongho! Can we sing more of your songs?" 

Jongho chuckled, his heart full. "Of course, princess. As many as you like. What's your favorite ATEEZ song?" Jongho asked, glancing back at her through the rearview mirror with a smile. 

Nari thought for a moment, her face lighting up. "I think it's Wonderland! It's so exciting and makes me want to dance!" she replied, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. 

Jongho chuckled, "That's a great choice, princess. Let's play Wonderland next, and we can sing together!" he said, reaching for the music system to queue up the song. 

"Or maybe you could sing Everything for me?" she suggested, her eyes wide with anticipation. "It's mommy's favorite, and I always sing it for her." Nari's voice was filled with a mixture of excitement and a hint of nostalgia, as if the song held a special place in her heart. 

Jongho's heart softened at her request, and he couldn't help but smile. "Of course, princess," he replied warmly. "I'd be honored to sing it for you." He adjusted the car's music system, finding the song and letting the soft melody fill the car. As Jongho sang the heartfelt lyrics, his voice was filled with deep emotion. Each word carried the weight of his memories and feelings for you. The song was a reminder of the love and connection you shared, making it both a beautiful and bittersweet experience. Jongho's voice trembled slightly as he conveyed the longing and regret expressed in the lyrics, yet also the enduring love that persisted despite the passage of time. Glancing back through the rearview mirror, Jongho saw Nari's eyes sparkling with joy as she listened intently. Her small hands were clasped together, cherishing every note. The sight filled him with a sense of purpose and determination. He wanted Nari to feel the depth of his emotions and understand just how much you, her mom, meant to him, and by extension, how much Nari herself was cherished and loved. 

When the song ended, Nari's eyes were shining with happiness. "Thank you, Uncle Jongho," she said softly, her voice filled with gratitude. "Mommy always says that Everything is the most beautiful song." 

Jongho could feel his eyes swelling up with tears, he blinked qucikly to get rid of them, worrying about how his little girl would react. "I'm glad Mommy thinks that" he replied, his voice tenderly. "Your mommy is special to me, and I'm happy she likes my solo song," Jongho said softly, his eyes filled with warmth and sincerity. 

Nari's eyes sparkled with curiosity and affection. "Mommy says your songs make her feel better when she's sad," she shared, her voice soft and earnest. "She always sings along with them, and it makes me happy too." 

Jongho's heart swelled with emotion at her words. "That means so much to me, Nari," he replied gently. "Music has a special way of connecting people and bringing joy, and I'm glad my songs can do that for you and your mommy. You both hold a very special place in my heart." 

As they continued their journey, Jongho felt a sense of peace settle over him. He cherished these moments with Nari, knowing that each one was building a deeper bond between them. The thought of seeing the rest of the members and sharing this special part of his life with them filled him with anticipation and warmth. 

They finally pulled into the studio parking lot, he parked the car and turned to Nari with a warm smile. "We're here, princess. Are you ready to meet Uncle Wooyoung and the others?" he asked, his voice filled with anticipation. 

Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes shining with excitement. "Yes! I can't wait!" she replied, clutching her car tightly. 

Jongho was about to leave the car when he noticed a few fans taking pictures of the KQ building. As his car came into view, it ignited a ripple of excitement among the fans, their expressions lighting up with anticipation. They craned their necks and murmured to each other, clearly eager to see which member of ATEEZ had arrived. Jongho took a deep breath, feeling a mix of gratitude and responsibility. He knew that these fans were part of the reason why he and the group had come so far. But they couldn't have picked a worse time to be here. He sighed deeply, contemplating his limited options. Staying in the car any longer would only raise suspicion among the fans, who were already buzzing with excitement and anticipation. They would undoubtedly start to wonder what was taking him so long to get out. The last thing he wanted was to draw unnecessary attention to himself and, more importantly, to Nari. Taking her inside with him was out of the question. The moment one of the fans snapped a picture, it would spread like wildfire across social media, sparking rumors and causing a scandal right away. Jongho knew he had to be cautious. The privacy and safety of Nari were paramount, and he couldn't risk exposing her to the public eye in such an unplanned manner. He glanced back at Nari, who was clutching her toy with wide eyes, clearly sensing the tension in the air. Jongho's mind raced as he tried to come up with a solution. He needed to find a way to get inside without attracting too much attention and without putting Nari in the spotlight. He took a deep breath, his mind working quickly to formulate a plan. He considered calling one of the other members for assistance, but that would take time and might still draw attention. He needed a distraction, something to divert the fans' focus away from the car long enough for him to safely get Nari inside. As he weighed his options, Jongho's phone buzzed with a message. It was from San, asking if he had arrived yet. A spark of hope ignited within him. Maybe, just maybe, San could help create a diversion. Jongho quickly typed a response, explaining the situation and asking for his help. Within moments, San replied with a plan. He would come out and engage with the fans, drawing their attention while Jongho made his way inside with Nari. It wasn't foolproof, but it was the best option they had. 

Jongho looked back at Nari, giving her a reassuring smile. "Alright, princess, we're going to need a little help from Uncle San. Just hug me tightly, and everything will be fine," he said gently, his voice filled with determination and warmth. Nari nodded, her trust in him unwavering. Jongho felt a surge of affection and responsibility as he prepared to put their plan into action. He waited for San's signal, ready to move swiftly and protectively. 

As San stepped out of the building and greeted the fans with his usual charm, Jongho saw his opportunity. He carefully unbuckled Nari from her seat, lifting her into his arms. With her stuffed animal in one hand and Nari securely in the other, Jongho quietly exited the vehicle, keeping his movements smooth and deliberate. San’s presence had the desired effect. The fans were momentarily distracted, their attention fully captured by the charismatic idol. Jongho moved swiftly but calmly, making his way towards the entrance with Nari held close to his chest. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, her face nestled against his neck, trusting him completely. They reached the entrance without incident, slipping inside the building just as the fans began to realize what was happening. Jongho breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for San’s quick thinking and support. He looked down at Nari, who was gazing up at him with wide, trusting eyes. 

"Good job, princess," Jongho whispered, his voice filled with both relief and pride. Nari nodded, a small smile forming on her lips. Jongho knew he still had to be cautious, but for now, they had successfully navigated a potentially risky situation. He felt a renewed sense of determination to protect Nari and ensure that she always felt safe and loved. As they made their way deeper into the building, Jongho couldn't help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for San’s support. He sent a quick text to San, thanking him for the help and letting him know they had made it inside safely. San replied with a thumbs-up emoji and a promise to join them soon. With a sigh of relief, Jongho carried Nari through the familiar hallways of the headquarters, her small arms still wrapped around his neck. They reached the practice room where the rest of the ATEEZ members were gathered, eagerly awaiting their arrival. 

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

[twig-tea]

Love For Love's Sake Marketing vs Reality

I cannot get over how misleading the description of this show was compared to its actual execution of the first two episodes. This will be pretty spoiler-free if you are reading to decide whether to give the show a try!

The summary: "Twenty-nine-year-old Tae Myung Ha experiences a bewildering twist of fate when suddenly finds himself transported into a fictional online game where he inhabits the body of a ninteen-year-old character. Soon, Tae Myung Ha embarks on a quest within the virtual world to bring happiness to a character named Cha Yeo Woon. Despite his humble upbringing, Cha Yeo Woon has managed to excel in the national track and field championships, maintaining a remarkable reputation among his peers due to his handsome looks and athletic physique."

What I had taken away from that description that had made me wary: The importance of the age gap; lying to a character to fake affection in order to win a game.

None of the original description is a lie, but the emphasis is all wrong and it excludes some key details that make this show so good.

First: The character MyungHa is tasked to make happy is not just any character; he's the character in a novel MyungHa has just read, and he's the character that he says he identified with most (and who he was rooting for and was annnoyed got a sad storyline and ending). So when he's going up to YeoWoon expressing affection, it's genuine. He really does already know and like this guy. That's a HUGE difference for me, and it changes his mission from a Big Lie into a personal mission. The thing I like most about this show is the heart. The fact that MyungHa genuinely wanting YeoWoon to be happy is (it seems) the triggering event that transports him into the game, not a bewildering twist of fate but a direct response to his articulated wish, is a key part of that heart!

Second: Myung Ha is not out here as a 19-year-old trying to seduce YeoWoon, he wants him to be happy because he sees in YeoWoon similarities to who he was in his teens. The thing that has MyungHa most excited about being 19 again is his grandmother still being alive. The age gap is only a thing in how MyungHa is treating YeoWoon like he's a little kid, which annoys the hell out of YeoWoon because his character is only 1 year older.

Finally: YeoWoon has no friends. It seems true that he's famous on campus and that he has fans (e.g. KyungHoon's sister) but they don't approach him and it doesn't prevent people from hating him. This description makes him sound like a popular guy.

The description on MDL also includes this paragraph: "Cheon Sang Won hails from an affluent family and becomes emotionally entangled with Tae Myung Ha. His involvement adds complexity to the developing relationship between Tae Myung Ha and Cha Yeo Woon. Ahn Kyung Hoon, introverted and reserved, supports and assists Tae Myung Ha on his mission within the virtual world."

We haven't enough of SangWon to draw conclusions yet, but based on the failures of the original description to capture any of the the things I love about the show while highlighting issues that don't (to date) actually exist in the show, I'm going to reserve judgment and assume this is also misleading. It would be pretty antithetical to the very heart of the show that's being set up if Myung Ha, through his actions, caused a different character (SangWon) to become the sad second lead. I'll be really interested to see how this goes and how/if this show will address this issue.

TL;DR: The marketing material: Age gap romance with a Big Lie The actual show: video game isekai granting an earnest protagonist a chance to create a fix-it AU for his favourite sad side character.

Anyway. Glad the show turned out to be so off from the marketing material because this is way better!

[obstinatecondolement]

Reading a few ~spicy BookTok-endorsed books has led me to the following conclusion: the issue with these books for me is not that they're "just porn" like the pearl clutchers over on YouTube who keep prophesying the death of literature think, it's that non-serialised longform fiction is not the best format for erotica imo. If you do think it's hot, it's hidden away in some random scene and you don't know when you'll get to it, but if you prefer the story to the sex then the plot grinds to a halt every so often for some tedious tab A, slot B which messes up the pacing.

When I write fic, I generally keep any sex to the end, so the plot is kind of wrapped up by then, which is not a creative choice I've been making very consciously, but I think that (for me) it works better. And as a reader, I have read a lot of great longfic that had sex scenes dotted throughout, but I think it worked better for me because it was serialised? Even if I was reading it all after it was completed, it didn't feel like the sex scenes were intruding on the plot because they were the star of their particular chapters.

I also feel, at least in the small sample size of books I'm working with here, the relationships aren't always that compelling, so I don't care if they're attracted to each other/how hot they allegedly find the sex. Not nearly enough pining and emotional horniness for my tastes and the enemies-to-lovers stuff seems more like "Ugh, this person is so annoying. But also they're hot" as opposed to a white-hot "My every thought is consumed by them" hate as the opposite side of the same coin as love way. But I may be reading the wrong books here?

I have read a couple of enemies to lovers romance novels that I really liked (Hold Me by Courtney Milan is a forever fave), but even then I was largely skimming past the sex to get back to the plot. And I don't think it was poorly written, I just didn't care to be titillated when I was reading it.

[olderthannetfic]

Idk if this is a trope, or a genre-thing, or a real life thing, but I've been seeing more and more of my internet acquaintance circle say that a character being friends with an ex is a big turn-off to them in media they consume. It's really weird to me because I don't even know it's apparently such a big deal in media to be mentioned, but also, what's bad about staying friends with an ex to begin with? If we split amicably I'd rather stay in good contact, than completely cut someone off. Especially if that person was a good friend to begin with. I don't think I've seen that much media revolving around this at all tbh, and it's weird how they started mentioning it recently. Ok Christmas is the time of love and friendship, but stills feels kinda random. Is it like a side effect of current dating culture, or is that an old thing? I notice it more with internet acquaintances than my IRL friends as well. I don't think the idea of writing about two people staying friends after a break-up turns into a cheap porn plot of them just fucking behind any new girl/boyfriends. If that happens, then that is a cheap porn plot. I just wanna know what the fuck they're media they're looking at.

--

Well... to be honest, a lot of people aren't friends before they date someone and do treat romantic prospects and friends differently.

I think a lot of media also does this. Not only does your standard bad tv writing use the ex for drama in most cases, but the writing of the actual friendship part is often unconvincing.

I know a lot of people, usually guys, who met some girl on a dating app or asked her out in a bar because she was pretty who pull the "We should stay friends" thing, and it's laughable. They weren't friends, and the way that woman socializes outside of her boyfriend isn't compatible with how he socializes.

It's much less weird if it's somebody from your friend circle whom you knew for a long time first.

For me personally, in the context of fiction, the biggest problem is that a sufficiently interesting friendship will make me ship those characters and not the current ship that the media is pushing. Or, on rare occasions, I won't even ship them, but I just want to hear about their friendship and not the romance.

IRL, there are lots of reasons people just don't work out, but in fiction, I'm constantly going "Okay, but they could get back together though!" Unlike with real people, there's no reason some subtle shade of their personality couldn't be a little different or they couldn't change their mind about lifestyle things in a way that would make the couple great together this time around.

It would probably annoy me less in extremely realistic dramas about daily life, but I dislike those. Most things I actually consume just either make me think "Why are we wasting time on the current ship?" or "OT3! OT3!"

Part of making good fiction is paring away the less essential stuff to let the main points shine. A too-good friendship does steal airtime from a romance in a lot of cases.

--

OTOH, I do know a bunch of neurotic people who just hate it when any ex is within a thousand miles because they've got cheating on the brain.

[the-way-astray]

Heyyy any chance you could make a post explaining why you don't like dex? :33

sure! @unaside i believe you also wanted to know

it's actually very similar to the reasons i dislike keefe. when he's jealous of fitz, he tends to humiliate sophie over it, he's whiny, in general i despise characters/people in real life that immediately start off a friendship with an expectation of romance tied to it at some point, i despise the sodex kiss scene and prefer to pretend it didn't happen (though that was mostly sophie's fault), and just like keefe he acts ridiculously possessive over sophie. he's incredibly immature for his age, just like keefe (gagging at fitz, volunteering sophie to be in a very intimate position with him without her permission, tearing down sophie and fitz's relationship, etc.) and i find that he just in general has no personality besides being vaguely bitchy sometimes, and that gets resolved by the fourth book. basically, he's someone i would steer very clear of in real life. i dislike his character immensely and found him unbearable to deal with as i read the story.

however. having said all of that. as i said in this post, i can't argue that dex is a poorly written character as i could with keefe, because the difference here is that the narrative makes all of the above out to be flaws and punishes dex for them or develops him accordingly. the jealousy towards fitz and subsequent sophitz bashing? villainized throughout the series and eventually resolved. his crush on sophie which results in him treating her poorly and expecting her to cater to it? developed out of when sophie rejects him and therefore proves his beliefs about her wrong (and you notice he gets way more chill about her relationship to fitz later on). the immature behavior slowly grinds to a halt and by legacy era it's basically gone. so i can't argue that his flaws aren't developed from or villainized, just because i found them annoying (which is what you're supposed to feel). his entire arc is about learning to become less jealous of fitz and to get over his crush on sophie/stop treating her badly because of it.

the only thing is that this arc is resolved in like nightfall era, meaning that for the latter half of the series, he's not in it as much, leading to movements such as the dexvolution or the begging to make dex more relevant again. which i don't agree with, i think the fact that his arc has basically ended means he would eat up a lot of time that could go to something better if he was in the story more (which i think i touched on in the post linked above). but again, i say that as someone who is biased when it comes to him; as i've already said, i don't really like him.

this is very much a case of "i dislike a fictional person" more so than it is a case of "i dislike a character". and i think it's really important to make the difference clear. do i like dex? no. but i do think he's a well-written character. it's just that his flaws and general personality and arc don't gel with me (i hate the "guy learns not to be a incel" arc on principle, it's tiring for me, but that's entirely personal preference), but shannon did write it well, for what it's worth.

now if only she could do the same with keefe (which for me, is a case of "i hate a character" not a case of "i hate a fictional person").

tldr: dex is a trope i really don't like, however shannon executed that trope well, making it so that i can't argue that he's a poorly written character, but i still hate him as a person.

[bloggingboutburgers]

As someone on the ace spectrum, I feel many of the things you feel regarding relationships. It's great to see. Though I do have one burning question, do you hate depections of romance in general? I understand getting annoyed by pointless romance in stories but your comics portray you as disliking depictions of any romance in general. If you do feel that way, it's fine. I'm only asking because I want to know if I'm reading your intent right.

Aah, if my comics portray me like that then I didn't do a good job TwT I don't dislike depictions of ANY romance at all!

I do get annoyed by pointless romance, and I get annoyed at the fact that romance is the go-to plot point for everything, and presented as the reason anyone ever does anything of importance. I get annoyed at the fact that it seems to be treated as a rule that a person or character can't have a strong, inimitable, unbreakable bond with another person or character if it's not romance (when really those kinds of bonds can happen in so many more ways!!), or worse, that a character can't be important overall if they don't have a romance arc. It's so shoved in everyone's faces to excess that it pisses me off!

But with that said, it's not exactly the romances I'm mad about (as long as they're well written, really, one's gotta at least try to make it believable), it's the lack of portrayal of everything else. I may not understand how romance works from a first-person basis, but I've shared several times in response to previous asks that if a fictional couple is written well, in a way that even an aro like me can understand, then I can root for them as all hell (and I can be pretty loud cheering for them out loud to my screen, lol).

But yeah. Again. Not mad at romances per se. Mad that they're treated like that's the only important thing there is ever, that's all.

[lalaloobzy]

Random aspec fictional character HCs

Matthew Cuthbert (Anne With an E)

Asexual + aromantic

Lived his whole life unmarried like his sister but, unlike Marilla, never had any relationships in the past. Doesn't reciprocate Jeannie's feelings and tells her his love for his adopted daughter (Anne) is the only love he has room for. Was TERRIFIED when Anne tried to set him up with Jeannie.

*(this is specific to AWAE but I think it can apply to book Matthew as well)

Selah Summers (Selah and the Spades)

Asexual + aromantic

Tbh this one might be canon (or at least heavily implied). Never has been in a relationship. Admits to Paloma that she's just never been interested in anyone in a romantic or sexual way.

Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Asexual + aromantic

Just doesn't seem remotely interested in romance or sex. Gets grossed out/ annoyed when people kiss in front of him.

*(this is specific to the anime, idk about the manga or live action adaptation)

**(I am not caught up on the anime, this may turn out to be incorrect)

Willie Jack Sampson (Reservation Dogs)

Asexual + aromantic

Never had a love interest or showed attraction in the show (to the best of my knowledge. If she did, I missed it). Also, THIS OUTFIT SPECIFICALLY. Her hoodie is aroace colors and her socks look like a mix of the asexual flag and the aromantic flag.

Lucy Wells (Harlots)

Grey asexual/ greysexual (+possibly aromantic? Maybe demiromantic? I haven't decided yet)

Born into prostitution but HATES sex. Avoids it as much as she can and by the last season finds a way to do her job without having to have sex. The reason I said grey ace is because she DOES seem sexually attracted to Fallon after some time of being with him (I think? I was a little confused about how she felt tbh).

Birdy (Birdy)

Asexual + demiromantic

Everyone in his life thinks it's weird that he's so interested in birds and not girls. Admits to Al he doesn't see the appeal of sex at all. Very reluctant to go to prom with Doris and had no idea what to do when she parked the car and offered him sex. I can see him developing romantic feelings after close friendship (like with Al) which is why I think he's demiromantic.

Bilbo AND Frodo Baggins (The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings)

Both asexual (+ maybe demiromantic, though I can also see Bilbo as aro)

Both remained bachelors all their lives. Bilbo lived alone and later with Frodo who was like an adopted son. Frodo lives for a long time with Sam and Sam's wife Rosie. I personally think that Sam and Frodo are in a romantic relationship, while Sam and Rosie are in a sexual relationship. Frodo seems content with this arrangement which is why I believe he's ace.

Ted Buckland (Scrubs)

Asexual

Simply because of the part where Carla says "I don't want any MAN filming me giving birth unless he's completely asexual" and then Ted walks in with a camera and Carla smiles and says "oh hi Ted!". (I think this was a poorly-aged joke about him being "ugly" more than anything but I'm still claiming it). Also when he sings the duet with Gooch and Gooch says "I want to screw you" while Ted says "I want to kiss you.

Fabian Rutter (House of Anubis)

Asexual

He's nerdy and into space (I know this is a stereotype but representation is scarce I take anything I can get... you get it right). Also his relationship with Nina is very innocent and I can't see him developing sexual attraction even when he becomes an adult.

Dirk Gently and Bart Curlish (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Dirk- Asexual

Bart- Aromantic

Neither of them have love interests in the show (although Bart/Ken may have been implied) so this is just how I felt about the characters personally. I think Dirk definitely had a crush on Todd and is gay but I don't think he gets sexual attraction. Bart is the opposite. I can see her developing sexual attractions and feelings but being repulsed by kissing/ dating etc.

*(this is specific to DGHDA, idk about any other versions of these characters)

Anybody feel free to add thoughts and your personal aspec character hcs <3

[starri-nightss]

no hate at all but why does smut bother u sm? to me it’s just another form of creative expression and if ppl wanna be horny for the sturniolos or any other celeb and wanna read/write smut ab them i don’t see the problem. like i get it if u don’t like smut but what’s the point of getting annoyed at ppl who do enjoy writing/reading it?

Yall have a problem with watching porn but reading it is fair game.

I don't have a problem with smut in, let's say, romance novels. Those are fictional scenarios with fictional characters. I'm asexual and on the side of the asexual spectrum that is sex-repulsed so I'm not a fan anyway but it's less of an issue with fiction.

But in FANfiction, when it's about real people, it's highly parasocial. I find it really gross that people fantasize about that (because let's be for real, y'all are imagining yourselves doing it with them). It feels vile.

Sex is a personal thing and to write assumptions or fantasies about a real person's sex life is very... off.

Fanfic is cool. I read fanfic, I write it, I love it. Angst? Hell yeah, break my heart. Fluff? Love giggling and kicking my feet in bed at 3 AM. Sickfics? ADORE them (despite being severely emetophobic, I don't understand it either). But smut is where I draw the line.

It's also minors writing it that I don't like. If the triplets fuck a minor in reality, that's not a sex fantasy, that's a CRIME? Hello? The triplets couldn't give less of a fuck about us, we're just paying their bills. So writing them in that way just feels weird, stupid, and strange.

[babycharmander]

I'm curious, you, as an aromantic fanfiction writer, are probably very familiar with shipping culture. You've probably encountered many a fan analysis where people had insisted a platonic bond is actually romantic, arguing that genuine moments of care and connection between two friendly characters as proof of that interpretation. What's your stance on this?

I hhhAAAAAATE it. I hate it when people insist that two characters caring about one another means that they're romantically involved. 

It's one thing to simply use those instances as fuel for shipping and merely keep it within fanfiction or fanart. I can dislike ships all I want but ultimately someone shipping two characters I just don't see being romantically together is generally not really some Awful Thing, so I'll just block that shipping tag so I don't have to see it if it bothers me enough. I have plenty of headcanons others disagree with, after all, and I'd be annoyed if someone was like "well ur headcanon that this character (who shows no canon evidence of any particular orientation) is aro is WRONG" so I'm not gonna go up to someone and be like "uhm this fanart you drew of these two characters kissing and posted to your own blog is Wrong because I personally headcanon them as aro." I might grumble about ships I dislike in private, but I'm not gonna go after someone who simply has different tastes from me.

(Granted, I do occasionally make and reblog general posts urging people to consider exploring things outside of just shipping characters, but I can't really make folks go one way or the other in that aspect. I think it's probably healthier to do stuff in fanworks other than just shipping, but ultimately it's not the worst thing in the world if they don't.)

But when that sort of thing is taken into actual analysis of canon--that's when it bothers me the most. When, instead of being like "oh these two care for each other a lot, I like to ship them" people instead go, "oh these two care for each other a lot, so they're clearly canonically romantic partners."

That is a form of amatonormativity, plain and simple. If you cannot look at two characters who care about each other without thinking "they HAVE to canonically be romantic partners" then there is a problem, and you need to consider why you might think that. Why does one character strongly caring about another have to indicate romance? Why do you think these two characters cannot possibly share a platonic relationship? 

Ultimately everyone's biases are going to be different there, but I do think it's a general thing of society placing a huuuuge emphasis on romantic relationships and playing them up as the be-all-end-all of life, and it's very easy to fall into the trap of believing that, as we're surrounded by that every day. I can't entirely blame people for falling into that trap as I had fallen into the same beliefs years and years ago before breaking out of them.

Rather than getting defensive about this sort of thing, I wish folks really would take a moment to step back and think "huh, why DO I think that what canon presents indicates that two characters who care about each other HAVE to be romantic partners?" Because it's not just something that affects the way you view fiction--it's a way of thinking that can affect your whole life, and can have a detrimental impact on yourself and others.

... uhhh oops. I dunno if you were expecting a ramble about amatonormativity, anon, but there you go. I hope that helps answer your question? \o/;;

[shadowbrightshine]

My mom, who is in her 40s came into my room asking me about a tag she saw on a romance book sale. "Tail play" She doesn't really read romance but she was looking for paranormal fiction and she does like werewolves and they all seemed to be there. Also she was looking for one of her favorite authors and hoped one or two of her books would be onsale.

This led into a really interesting conversation. See my mom is a strong Christian, and I am too. I'm a monsterlover, and a furry. (ace and sex repulsed but I do read kink focused smut because the lead up is usually much better than normal stuff.) and she was obsessed with Vampires as a teenager.

So people aren't annoyed by the length.

She says she looked up most of them, and she figured out the rest. But one, the tail one she didn't get any results from Google searches and figured I, the self proclaimed monster lover and the one who she knows has more adult friends than she has might know what Tail play is. (I use a lot more social media and have a bunch of close friends on an 18+ server, so nice to just have other adults around. I like hanging with my other teen friends but it's nice to have a break.)

She thought it might be like butt plugs, which could be, but she mentioned it was the paranormal section and I explained it's a very popular thing to make the tail an eroginous zone. It can be used well, or used as a lazy way to get a character in the mood without trying. (I actually learned about it from gacha videos when I was 14, but I didn't know that wasn't a real animal thing for a bit so I avoided touching dogs tails so they wouldn't get mad at me lmao)

She doesn't read smut, and doesn't even really like romance. At least not when it's the focus, so when she was looking around she ran unprepared into the bottom bin romance 'trash' and actual romance trash. She was shocked by all the noncon, and she said she felt a bit sick even just reading some of the descriptions of the stories. We talked about the Fantasy but also that it's weird. It's odd that so many romance books marketed to young adults feature noncon and straight up rape.

Sometimes it feels like an excuse for lazy writers to ignore any chemistry because they can just force the sex scenes. Which is. Not good.

She also stumbled upon omegaverse and I explained it to her. I don't read it myself, I respect the place it has in internet history and fandom culture but I've never liked the alpha beta omega stuff, even before the Alpha Male Bros tm came a crawling, begging for scraps of coolness. She didn't like it. She also prefers more women in her stories and omegaverse by default is mostly men.

But one of the big things to me, was when she was talking about the possessiveness in a ton of werewolf fiction. She didn't like how everything seemed to only cater to the desire to be required to stay and to be owned. To be dominated. She says she's always preferred what little romance she reads to be more equal. Which, to me isn't surprising due to how my mom is, but may to the idea of a strong protestant Christian many have in their head.

I explained it's a very popular trope. Personally? I'm 50/50 on it. I'm up for a little "be mine" and "you're all mine" but it's just so overpowering. It's hard to find the werewolf as the sub, or without the power play.

Mom and I ended up talking about our various reader woes, her in the Christian fiction and general fiction world, and I in the fanfiction and fandom world. And the monsterfiction community.

We both spoiled ourselves by reading really good books, or for me fanfiction, and good books because my father is a Sci fi buff and has a massive collection of some beautiful stories. And also I'm autistic and if I don't think a story is good near the start I can't finish it. I can't hate read anything.

My mom and I bonded over something I didn't expect, the lead up. Mom enjoys tasteful scenes, or as she says "closed door" or fade to black sex scenes. We both love the romantic tension when written well. That's why I tend to seek out kink stuff. The lead up is more necessary. But I've never really enjoyed the sex part of smut.

And worse sometimes people stop trying during the sex scenes. Like the writing quality drops because "why try the people reading already got excited, they know what to do."

I personally love reading sexual tension, I love the kissing and the rubbing and the wanting. I love reading about the hot and bothered. But I don't like reading about genitals and I never have. Kink, especially those with unusual eroginous zones tend to focus more on that. Also monster fiction, if it is with really weird monsters, will use unique situations and open up to some amazing writing. I even skim past the actual sex scenes half the time. But if you write good lead up, I'll probably give it a look.

Mom has started to develop the "pickiness" some of us fandom lovers have as she gets older, and we bonded over the wish for more of specific things without being able to find it. Me with empty tags, her with genre issues.

Because the best stuff is hard to categorize, which is cool. But it sucks! Because it's really hard to categorize and find more of. We make it work.

But I think it was a really interesting conversation.

[kaesaaurelia]

Apropos of the last reblog... whenever I have had doubts about the 1926 fic being well-received in fandom (I had a crisis about this when S2 was announced, and also again when S2 happened) [edit: also I'm using "well-received" as a euphemism for "I won't get crickets and will not get more than 5 people telling me I don't know canon"], my therapist is just like "Why don't you just publish it [commercially as original fiction]?" And like... I don't want to, that should be enough, but I foolishly make the mistake of saying "I don't want to do that, because I'd hate the result and it wouldn't sell anyway." But it's true.

First off, I'd have to fundamentally change the characterizations of not-Aziraphale and not-Crowley to be comfortable with publishing it, in ways that would make them much less appealing to me, because I like those characters. I could see myself writing origfic about Vehuel and Nisroc, and have posted some stuff to AO3 tagged "origfic" because people who would like it will find it more easily there than in the GO tag, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable publishing it for profit unless I changed the setting completely so it wasn't Comically Bureaucratic Heaven and Hell -- which I'd also want to do with the 1926 fic, because everyone who's read or seen Good Omens is going to instantly recognize it. It's not bad to be influenced by something, of course, but look, if I have to rework both the setting AND the characters that's a lot of work to make a story less itself. Had I had more interesting-to-me ideas for either story or characters I would have written those instead.

The other issue is I do not think she understands how LONG it is. People who aren't writers hear "1000 words" and think "wow that's a lot of words, that's like 20 pages, right?" People who aren't writers hear "400k words" and think "wow that's a lot of words, that's like a hundred pages, right?" People who are writers understand that 1000 words is the point during an average NaNoWriMo day where you're like "I don't think I can do this actually," and then you're annoyed with yourself because you barely wrote a page and a half, and that 400k words is "oh no the idea got away from them, RIP." No traditional publisher wants to publish something that's 400k unless it's by George R. R. Martin and it is specifically the thing they've been waiting for him to finish for several presidential administrations.

So I'd have to self-pub. Which I don't really feel like doing because, bluntly, I would not get anything out of it. I do not know how to market a 400k book that is a historical action/adventure story with a substantial queer romance B-plot, but also a lot of it is torture porn, but not like that, it's not dark romance, the romance is fluffy. There isn't a good marketing niche for this. I'd either have to take out the sex scenes or rewrite them to be more appealing to the market (which means less appealing to me, a person who has found maybe one explicit sex scene in self-published fiction that I was into, and surprise surprise, the author's webpage linked to their AO3 account) and if I rewrote them I'd probably do better condensing the story down drastically to 15-20k of mostly porn with a light dusting of historical fantasy, which is not what I wrote.

But back to the marketing: I'd have to build a social media following, something I am not good at, on a social media site that is doing well and not in crisis (how??? where???) and all my insecurities about posting things online would be magnified a hundredfold if a. I had to do that and b. money was on the line. If I'm posting on AO3, I won't get money, but I will (very occasionally) get people telling me they liked it, which I will probably enjoy much more.

Anyway, I don't want to go into all of this with my therapist because she keeps doubting any of these assertions -- as if I do not keep up with publishing drama, or know self-pub authors, or understand that fans can diagnose "they painted landlord white over my blorbos to publish this" at 50 paces -- so it takes the whole hour.

But when I just leave it as "I don't want to do that, because I'd hate the result and it wouldn't sell anyway" she hears it as "I don't think my writing is good and I think no one likes it [clearly a symptom of depression]" but what I am trying to convey is "I don't want to take a sledgehammer to my favorite things about this story just so I can pitch it to a commercial audience I didn't have in mind when I wrote it, and I do not want to waste my free time and energy for socializing professionally trying to get people to like me on social media, something you know full well makes me deeply unhappy even at a small scale."

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

God, I am feeling so sick towards the TWDG fandom and their treatment towards Tillie. I am not a fan of the comic either, but the way she is being treated while announcing her baby's birth is sickening! Say whatever shit you want about the comic, but why attack the author when you can complain about Skybound doing the disservice? Tillie is only doing her job!

Mmhmmm, it's ridiculous.

I don't understand what's so hard about not sending her shit like that. It's fine to hate and rage about the comic since Clementine's a character we all care about, but leave Tillie out of it. Or at the very least be respectful about it, y'know? There's actually quite a bit in the Clementine books that you can draw back to her previous works and themes that she as a creator likes to write... but no one is interested in that, they just wanna wave their hate boners and I have no patience for that.

Also it pisses me off when bigger creators/fans in the fandom contribute to the hate, it makes it so much worse- lookin' at you, domthebomb. I tried to be nice before but frankly, I watched his review. I don't have it in me anymore.

If I didn't know he read the whole thing from watching parts of his stream, I would've assumed he just read the wiki since he got some basic things about the plot and characters wrong... which is very funny since he accuses Tillie of not playing the games when she's stated in interviews that she has. Like... Amir isn't John's brother, Dom, did you even read the comic? I know you did, so why would you say that? And the book did give you time to get to know some of the new cast, you just spent that time saying, "I don't care," so, I don't know... maybe respect your audience more and put some effort into your review for them? Or, y'know... don't read it at all if it makes you that angry.

Imagine saying you don't condone hate toward Tillie Walden and then proceed to go on a rant about how you believe Ricca, a character you and everyone hates, is Tillie's self-insert and this book is just a romance now, like... he should know that's contributing to the problem. He has an audience. If he actually gave a shit about harassment, he wouldn't bring Tillie into it at all... especially when it's a baseless accusation that falls apart when you have a basic understanding of how art is created and think for more than two seconds. When you say that Ricca is annoying and a character everyone hates, and you say she's Tillie's self-insert multiple times, you're conflating the two for your audience and that's probably why she got an influx of those comments on her instagram calling her awful things after your stream and your review.

Also, liking and engaging with the comments feeding the hate in his comments section goes against his "I don't condone hate" stance, no?

I don't even know why I'm bothering with this since he's not going to see it, and even if he did, he wouldn't care. I'm no one important, so he wouldn't take any criticism I give and reflect on it. I get that he's passionate about TWDG and he loves Clementine, but I don't give a shit that he cares about a fictional character. What matters is how he treats real people like Tillie and then tries to be like, "but guys I don't condone hate, please be kind" like dude, c'mon. I know he's played the games multiple times; he should be plenty familiar with, "This choice has consequences."

I guess at the very least he's not as bad as some other reviews. So much Angry Man Yelling energy, it's... uncomfortable.

[rainbowsky]

Hi 🌈sky!

I respectfully disagree with you on the stage situation.

https://twitter.com/devkxx/status/1640402462468341762?s=46&t=syHIf795WX9pVKa0yxO76g

Hate is a strong word so i dont think it’s hate but rather “discomfort” maybe? I dont think gg hates her, never in fact. But it’s quite probable (in my own perspective obvs) that he’s been annoyed with this situation for quite some time. I don’t think he would agree on “appeasing” fans at all considering he and his team must have already foreseen the outcome (hot search etc.). On the other hand, although this doesnt really affect me as a turtle as i long has been szd, it sort of feels like a “slap” to turtle if i was to entertain the idea that gg agreed on the standing side by side with yz on the stage as it was something that im sure he knew that turtles had been excited for ggdd to finally share stage prior to the event (and it didnt happen)

Hi Anon! 😊

This is in reference to a previous post.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I feel like the point of my post has been missed, here. I don't want to lose sight of that point by digging into a big debate about whether GG would agree to stand beside YZ or not. It's not the point of what I'm trying to say.

For years turtles have indulged in hate toward YZ, and have spun detailed narratives about how horrible and manipulative she is, and how much GG hates and resents her behavior. I myself have fallen prey to some of these narratives.

I do agree with you that the GG/YZ ship has caused him some headaches. However it's a tiny, tiny group of people, and it's a somewhat inevitable outcome of having starred in a romance drama alongside her. It just goes with the territory.

Any way you slice it, GG and YZ were voted king and queen and didn't take the stage in that role. I think it would be entirely too charitable toward Weibo to assume they'd just pass it over to someone else without being given anything in return. I personally suspect this shared stage at the finale was what they agreed to. Perhaps not side by side - I'll concede that the clip makes him appear puzzled to be pushed next to her - but on the same final stage.

There's no doubt that these things are negotiated up front, as a condition of attendance. Stars aren't going to agree to appear at an event without agreeing in advance to what is going to take place, so whether it's side by side or as a group but not together, GG agreed to stand on the same stage as her.

And whether or not he agreed to stand next to her, it's utterly undeniable that he voluntarily waited for her to get to the stage and urged her take the stage ahead of him, he interacted with her in a friendly way, he chatted with her as they were leaving the stage. If the turtle narrative about him not wanting anything to do with her was true, there's no way he would have done any of that.

It's all right there in the clip I shared.

As for your last bit there about it being a 'slap' to turtles that GG would agree to appear onstage with her but not appear onstage with DD - that's something I deeply disagree with. I have said this over and over again throughout the lead-up to Weibo Night - turtles need to be realistic about what they think they're going to see.

It was never a guarantee that GG and DD would appear on the same stage, and any thought of an interaction was a wild pipe-dream. Any disappointment any turtle feels about it is a result of their own unrealistic expectations. DD didn't even stay for the whole event, as he had to return to filming. We should all consider ourselves lucky that we got to see him at all.

The event wasn't about their relationship, and they didn't appear there as a couple. It was an industry event.

You're free to interpret things however you like, and you're free to approach fandom however you like. I'm just expressing my own thoughts on this, and stating why I think turtles as a fandom have been unfairly awful to YZ, when as far as I can tell GG gets along with her just fine.

The entire point of my post was to highlight the way turtles treat GG and DD's female friends and colleagues. It's unacceptable in my eyes. It's awful. I don't think GG and DD would be proud of our behavior.

Let's not obscure that key point by focusing on our own hurt feelings about unrealistic expectations.

I ask that people don't send me more messages about this topic unless you have something major to add to the discussion that you can't simply state in the notes. I don't want my day to be taken up with this topic. Thanks.

[neverlearnedtoread]

Forging Silver Into Stars

⭐⭐⭐⭐; its genuinely really great to see an author get better and more subtle with their writing and characterization over time

Oh?? 👌😉😏

one of kemmerer's greatest strengths is the robustness of her worldbuilding - not only does emberfall feel distinct from karis luran, in culture and in setting, this alternate universe intersects with the 'real world' without losing its believability. i respect an author with the complexity to write about characters from another world with their own prejudices interacting with characters from the 'real world' without tripping over their own setting

lgbt romance that's sweet, heartfelt, not shortchanged, OR overplayed! in fact i did like all the romances in this story and the range they displayed. i have my favourites but they were all both distinct and at least passably interesting to me

women who get to be complex! i will forever mourn what lia mara could have been (viciously politically savvy with a moral core, usually a male character's archetype from fiction ive consumed) but i did like her interactions with the more cynical callyn

'side character gets a POV in the spinoff' book! i don't feel like it was a cash grab or because the author was too afraid to write something new, the plot AND the narrative voice was distinct from the original trilogy without feeling too removed from its events.

No.. ❌🤢🤮

another character from the original series continues on his era of becoming more annoying since bk1. grey...your character was way more fun when you didn't have as much responsibility. i liked you as an antagonising force / source of tension for tycho in his book but your bullheadedness is really not fun on its own merit. i definitely dont miss the days you were a POV character!

lots of travelling; not something i hate, personally, but it may feel a bit time-consuming to go back and forth like a pingpong ball. the travelling aspect feels enough a part of the narrative for me not to get frustrated by it, but given that only ONE character moves from place to place, while the other two stay in a relatively non-important setting for the most part, it might feel quite jarring to switch POVs

This is a spinoff from a trilogy (Cursebreaker Trilogy by Brigid Kemmerer, starting with A Curse So Dark and Lonely) - pretty unavoidable spoilers for the ending of that trilogy up ahead!

Summary: Some years have passed since Grey was crowned King of Emberfall and married Lia Mara, the Queen of Syhl Shallow. They now live in the Crystal Palace, trying to keep the peace with a populace that despises their king-by-marriage for his magic as much as they despair at their queen for her nonviolent diplomacy. Grey's young friend Tycho has been promoted to King's Courier, ferrying messages both public and secret between the royals to ferret out any rumblings of unrest before it can boil over. On one of his usual trips back and forth between the two kingdoms, he stops by a sleepy little village called Briarlock and meets two locals, Callyn and Jax. Syhl Shallow natives, they have different perspectives on how things have changed since King Grey and Queen Lia Mara took their thrones, and are suspicious and charmed in turns by the young lord in their midst.

Concept: 💭💭💭 I have decidedly mixed feelings about the Cursebreaker Trilogy - like a rollercoaster it took me up (bk1), then downnnn (bk2), then rolled flat (bk3)! So I was pretty cautious about reading this spinoff. Tycho was relatively interesting in the original trilogy, but mostly in relation to Grey, and I...did not leave the original trilogy loving Grey as a character. He got boring when they gave him responsibility.

Execution: 💥💥💥 I don't think what Kemmerer wants to explore with this fantasy world (fantasy politics through a modernist moral lens) is ever going to be what I want to explore, but I can appreciate that she's getting better at showcasing the conflict she wants to build in her stories. Having only non-royal POVs in this story really helped make the story feel more real to me - when you're not one of the big movers and shakers (even Tycho, for all his proximity to power, feels the limit of his influence when they strip him of his rings and Grey refuses to listen to his counsel), you're gonna feel resentment for the Big Guys making the choices. They're the ones holding your lives in their hands, and for all their best intentions, they may not treat you well all the time! I definitely felt like this was her best book I've read yet, because Kemmerer wasn't just telling me the conflict and how it was gonna go - she was able to show it to me through the character's actions and situations.

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤ I will be honest, I skimmed Callyn's AND to a lesser extent Jax's POV until the end because I just really wanted to read about Rhen from an outside POV that wasn't Harper's. I would apologise but I promised myself when I started writing these book reviews not to say sorry for stuff I don't regret, and me picking favourites regardless of rational thought falls firmly under that. I did truly come to enjoy the final conflict AND tycho's POV for its own merit, tycho's personality in particular was really fun to see in action, but the middle section where callyn is living her 'maybe-this-shady-guy-isnt-manipulating-me' denial era didn't ever get easy to read.

Favourite Moment: Any Rhen moment but especially that part with him being gentle and sweet with Harper when Tycho first tells him about the tournament idea. Tycho's description of their relationship being quiet and sweet was SO CUTE in general - the idea that Tycho finds Rhen pretty difficult to be around at first, but admits you'd have to be blind not to see he's besotted with Harper - I sigh every time

Favourite Character: I'm a Rhen apologist through and through but Tycho actually went over so well with me in this book. That bit when he rounds on Grey to berate him for not thinking shit through and running off without a plan? SAY IT LOUDERRRRR. I have truly enjoyed seeing Kemmerer grow as a writer and write Tycho with this level of nuance - his eventual realisation that he gets along well with Rhen, despite their history, his cautious but earnest courtship with Jax, even his ever-shifting relationship with the Syhl Shallow royal family both in public and private settings, all of it felt like it fit together and informed Tycho's characterization as a whole without conflicting with any other part of it.