#i don't get sick sick often
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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valkyrie moodboard part 4 🎉🎉🎉
pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3
#the first half of kotw is so fucking good for her#you get her being an asshole about work failing to get the boy she went after wishing she could play horses with china#the whole 'well you shouldve worn a coat' thing in the alps the 'come back i just want to hit you' bit in the other dimension#getting sick when skulduggery without hesitation saying he'd give up the rest of his life to take care of her#'this is not an invisible railroad i can see it right there' 'well the train is invisible' 'that's not what you promised me'#need to start eating the book i think#only way ill be satisfied#says kenna#skulduggery pleasant#valkyrie cain#i had to go through my tag for her on here to flesh this out... starting to struggle finding posts on insta for her#it's easier for china bc at her core china is a very normal relatable person#book loving lonely homebody horse girl in unrequited love with complicated relationships with religion and parenthood#while so much of the story asks 'who is valkyrie outside of skulduggery'#she's got minimal if any hobbies her status as the final girl means she ends up with almost no relationships#she's unpleasant to be around but not in the quirky needy way instagram meme people say they are#like do NOT get me wrong she's one of the most complex fascinating characters in the world to me and her personality is very well developed#but not in a 'haha relatable this is who youre being mean to--' kinda way. do you understand me#people don't very often make funny posts about how theyve been groomed#kenna's sp screenshot folder
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the fight between Sheriff Jimmy and God Joel would have ended so much quicker if Jimmy just started praying every time Joel started doing shit. A) because like that's kinda awkward, you're terrorizing this guy and he gets on his knees and starts worshiping you. He runs away every time it happens and B) its written into a gods nature to care about and want to support those who worship them.
Joel is freaked out over his change of character and Jimmy's weird behavior. Meanwhile Jimmy brushed up on mythos and knows he's got this little god wrapped around his damn finger
#Power imbalance except Jimmy has figured out how to make Joel do or give him anything with a few well placed prayers and puppy dog eyes#Joel: *making fun of jimmy* jimmy: *bows head and starts praying* Joel: “nope nope nope this is weird I have gotta get the FUCK outta here”#Jimmy offhandedly mentions there's a drought and that the crops aren't growing well. Two days later there is a storm not big enough to floo#But enough to end the drought (Joel tried fighting it but gave up)#This is so funny to me. I don't even know how I cooked this up#jimmy solidarity#empires jimmy#empires joel#empires 2#esmp 2#Empires season 2#modfinny#He doesnt do it often. Just when he's sick of dealing with Joel and wants to make him go away or actually needs Joel's help#smallidarity
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I'm sick of gender and monogamy and the same tired tropes and dynamics and the same young conventionally attractive people (mostly men) being put into them I WANT SOMETHING NEWWWW. Nami can have a Yuri romance dynamic with any other East Blue Strawhat and she is the- ok i actually don't know the yaoi term- but like- the one in the dynamic that's more confident. She is literally that powerful and gender dont real. GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!
#nami#my posts#east blue polycule#GENDER DONT REAL. especially when interacting with a shounen i am soooo like. sick in the head about it. we need to get rid of this thing#or maybe it's more like. NAMI is a character who is extremely informed by sexism and womanhood and she's extremely gay#with every girl she meets.#but the ''boy'' characters (except sanji) don't have anything like that. you know.#their confidence doesn't come from social status or approval. they don't treat women differently than men.#usopp often plays the stereotypical girl role and luffy and zoro seem to have hardly any idea what gender even is.#im saying nami's gender overpowers them all easily.#i understand. that i am saying complete nonsense. but i am saying it.#and not to be the billionth person to point this out but sanji is having a bad fucking time being a man. he is extremely overly painfully#aware of gender. and struggles with it constantly.#putting him into a yaoi situation is only the first step.#i actually don't particularly like nami x transfem sanji because i think they are better as friends but i follow someone who does#and does art about it and like. EXTREMELY LOUD CORRECT DING DING DING. YES!!!! im not feeling it but i do agree with it and support it.#but the rest of them...#NAMI YURI ATTACK!!!!!!!!!#i still think about my both transfem zosan au. i was right.#sanlu and sanuso as well. zosopp... zolu.. lusopp... EAST BLUE POLYCULE ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!#but first and foremost. NAMI YURI ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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tw: mentions of harm against women, particularly black women, organ harvesting, and just overall gross treatment towards black women
It's Black History Month and, tell me why, I stumbled upon a fic for Arcane that features the brutalization of black women (Mel and Sky), stealing/harvesting of their organs and bodies for the use of men (and a white man at that), and just all around stuff that is very reminiscent to how black women are/have been treated throughout medical history for decades? Mind you, it was used to fuel the JayVik ship too, makes me sick. If it wasn't some in that fandom fantasizing Mel being SA'd, then it's this. I can't with this fandom.
#it's not all j*yviks who are doing this stuff bc if this or just any misogynistic/noir rhetoric doesn't match what u post than move along#but if you are one of the few (of many) u have problems that need be addressed and should just keep black women out of your mouth#ive only seen screenshots of the fic in question and could barely finish it it was so horrific and disgusting#how could write about blk women being harmed & brutalized in such a way without care? how could u use that pain and torment to fuel#an m/m let alone just to fuel up some weird dynamic between two male characters as if fandom doesn't already#have an issue with the fact that female characters are often used as props or cast aside for male characters#not even getting into how NEITHER jayce nor viktor would even pull the shit that was written in that fic (they'd be DISGUSTED)#and again it is so reminiscent to how black women were often treated against their will by medical fields to expand medical knowledge#without a care for their health and wellbeing it is so sick but even more to see someone use that pain for some twisted form of male gratifi#-cation#again i say why drag in female characters for your mlm ship if you're only going to use them as props? STOP IT!#anti arcane fandom#anti jayvik#(again not all jayviks but still too many where certain aspects of this are common)#arcane mel#arcane sky#tw mentions of sa#tw mentions of harm against women#tw#trigger words#note: apparently the person who wrote this fic is black too....that don't make it better especially during BHM
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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i wish i cared about food because as a living organism i do have to deal with food every day...seems like it would be easier to deal with if i actively liked eating it and thinking about it. but instead food is just the most annoying of all the chores that life consists of because it's impossible to ignore for very long. i resent having to think about it multiple times per day. not going anywhere with this just vaguely jealous of people who like food lol.
#disordered eating#not to say i actively hate all food but i do hate the reality of having to eat food multiple times a day#rarely am i actually excited to eat something. when i have food i'm often like oh good! in the sense of like#yay now i can check 'eating' off my to-do list. so it's usually not like active disgust at the thought of eating (though sometimes it is)#but usually i'm not excited by the food itself#and it's not like i don't have a sense of taste! i have taste preferences#if i only had to eat once a week or something i would probably like food. but i have to eat so often. that's fucking obnoxious#wow food you think you're soooo special and important that you can demand my attention every few hours? go fuck yourself#my dad always used to say he eats for sustenance not for enjoyment and i didn't get it when i was younger#because back then i had a lot of food-related cravings#but idk the last several years that hasn't really been the case. occasionally i want to eat something for reasons other than hunger#but not very often. mostly i just want to eat whatever has the most calories but won't get me sick so i can delay as long as possible#the next time i have to think about it#my posts
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god I wanna do savage and the extremes so bad but I'm the only person in my immediate friend group that has the time, interest, and fuckin-- msq progression to do them lmao and I'm too shy to be making new friends like that orz
#and my sister is more of a wow player and even then she doesn't even raid there either orz#I took don't talk to strangers online too literally and only know how to solo play games#but those mounts are so coolllllll sobs#ALSO edit here hold on main reason im too nervous to just try and find a group is cause i get sick so often#like im chronically ill and will suddenly just be down for a week to a month at random
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Tmw you haven't eaten all afternoon but you know damn well there's nothing in the house you want to eat
#how am I gonna survive this weekend bro#i keep getting fast food because I'm sick of the stuff we have at home. have to force myself to eat a sandwich i hate and it doesn't make me#feel satisfied#meanwhile fast food actually feels like it sustains me? and i enjoy eating it? and there's so many options out there?#i wish that i could be living like my mom rn#she's never hungry anymore because of the new medication she's on and that alone sounds like such a dream.#barely being hungry and never needing to eat much to feel full#but i don't know how to cook shit on my own and she doesn't cook as often anymore so it's like. what is there for me here#fuck this brain and it's stupid pickiness#why can't you derive pleasure from simple things. ugh#i fucking hate having ADHD it's literally ruining my life
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I hope in another universe, my parents aren't my parents, but my friends.
#Epitaph#I often think about how well my dad and I would get along if he weren't my dad. Y'know.#I don't think I was meant to be his son but I know God's got a sick sense of humor.
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the way Gladiator is just instant gratification for me. my serotonin levels shoot through the roof as soon as that first note of music hits. Maximus’ face appears onscreen and I immediately am launched into a catatonic state
#and since i've been sick for like eight days this is doubly true#gladiator beloved you have been my lighthouse through the dark#my shield in battle#my anchor in the storm#and just!!! the way the whole movie is such a comfort to me!#i want to eat it like a small tea cake#savor every bite#what an INCREDIBLE joy that i can watch it literally whenever i want#pause it wherever or skip to the scenes with maximus#watch the same scenes over and over on a loop#put in headphones and listen to it like an asmr#favorite movie calms me like nothing else#the noise of battle begins and i'm like :D#but yeah opening scene featuring maximus dreaming of his family my ABSOLUTE BELOVED#dissociating birdwatching and generally looking like a dreamboat#all aboard the dreamboat aye aye captain#often i begin crying as soon as that first shot of maximus' face comes onscreen#like something about it just rips my heart out#knowing i'm about to spend the next three hours desperately longing for him and cheering for him and melting over his perfection#and then knowing i'm going to have to watch him die at the end of it#it's like i live in an endless horrid time loop where i have to watch my beloved suffer over and over but i keep going because it's the onl#time i get to spend with him so even the pain is worth it#i don't think i'm sane anymore but i care not a whit#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#text posts
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i wish i didn't get so attached to people online because i anyone i interact with is automatically a friend in my head
#and now i just don't have that#i know i'm the one who disappeared but like. ouch#of course i have my jiji but she's very sick and busy so we don't get to talk much now#i wanted to stay in contact with people but even someone i thought was a legit FRIEND has ghosted now#and others apparently didn't know i was leaving until i was already gone and they don't have tumblr so#i don't get lonely often. i think i'm just having a Time#chewy ramblings
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anyone else sick of the emergence of cowardly overexplaining writing in media. not even just in like mcu schlock. i've seen it in high profile ~prestige~ hbo shows too and it's like. what are we doing here
#uhhhh me#they're soooo afraid of the audience not getting it that they overcompensate#nothing is subtext nothing is up to interpretation#everything is just told to you#sick of it!!#i have examples but i also don't want to attract their enormous and often very zealous fanbases
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I have the brain of a fallow deer i think because when i look at my beloved wrestleboys (or really any incredibly huge buff person) i feel the instinctive response in my brain of holy fuck this guy could eat me. Like i am some sort of prey animal. What's wrong with me. It contributes to the sense of awe when watching the sport but it's also another sign to never ever ever go to real life events lest i bolt in panic and dash in front of a passing Subaru.
#jay talkin#huge doesnt have to mean tall either the guy i am most often thinking abt is nearly 2 inches shorter than me#just buff as shit yknow. but its true u look st ppl like that n yr like holy shit#i rlly havent been around ppl w that kind of physique ever so it kinda awe strikes me n sets off like#the brain firing on so many different weird cylinders#i grew up watching worlds strongest man competitions so its not a NEW sensation i just still think its funny#my little frightened brain goes wow i am looking at an apex predator im gonna get hunted#and i go wow thats so awesome. well anyways i wanna look like him and also fuck him. enjoy that combo of thoughts#i'm like a fallow deer if the deer was fucking faggy as shit and gay for the wolf it glimpsed one time#oh i dont think im making much sense. i feel very woozy the sickness bug got me weird#but yeah yknow sometimes u see giant dudes and u go fucking christ. wow. u are so outside of what everyday ppl around me look like#like i wanna be you i think yr hot i also kind of just wanna compare to u like lemme touch lemme just. see#the difference. yknow. yknow. not even always hornily ok. just curious. but also i feel like u can eat me and thats scary#anyway whatever (runs off embarrased) kyaaaa (trips over own enormous dick and falls into vat of liquid steel)#also no please don't analyse this as 'well its bc yr scared of men' i super am not its not a gender thing#does not apply to my life experiences. i'm scared of deep water and large bouncy castles if theyre enclosed. ok.
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I gotta be honest, the second I heard Sam call Alexis a bitch, I knew this discourse was going to start up again.
#makes me even happier that i wasn't here during the cataclysm days#because i'm pretty sure she was called a bitch multiple times in that#i know at least imp!milo said it#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted monarchal summit#like can we just acknowledge that she's not a good person (not character) and move on?#yes she sounds hot. yes she's a bad person. no it doesn't make you a bed person if you think she's hot.#and no it doesn't make you a bad person if you like her. as someone who revisits imp!vincent often i get it.#if you like her cool. if you don't sick. if you think she's a bitch alright. no skin off my nose.
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sometimes a song i haven't heard in years shows up when i shuffle my entire spotify library and i am reminded that the cr cast, ashley and liam especially, do not fuck around when it comes to character playlists
#this is about sick of losing soulmates#but also like. don't think i've forgotten the last vax playlist#also sam isn't primarily a heartbreaker but every so often he throws something like the wizard and i in there#so he's getting a shoutout too
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