#i don't feel like this is a vent post but like maybe it is so I'll tag it as such

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[starrysharks]

i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad

[shift-shaping]

i know this is an unpopular opinion in my specific circle on tumblr, albeit not unpopular widely, but i really really do hope they keep solas race locked. it's. really not a small part of his character even if it makes him more ~problematic~

he literally doesn't see non-elves as even close to being people in inquisition by the time of the balcony scene, and while i think he changes that view by trespasser to some extent, that change does not come in time for a romance to actually spark between him and anyone who isn't an elf.

him having these shithead ideas is part of what makes his character who he is, and seeing him change those opinions is going to be extremely gratifying. this is part of why i want to be able to romance him (or at least flirt with him) as a rook of any race --show me that he's changed, that he's capable of seeing non-elves as worthy of that attention, don't just leave it in a dumbfuck retcon that serves only to weaken him as a character.

the idea that bioware would make him magically not prejudiced to appeal to angry people on twitter is cowardly, and i would consider it a major failure on the part of the writing staff.

i don't care if you're upset about this, block me, but the bottom line is that sanding down a character's rough edges to make him more appealing to twitter is an absurd and entitled ask that fails to understand basic character writing and development.

[rileys-battlecats]

i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.

i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.

anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)

[emiliosandozsequence]

ngl those of you that report people venting about their suicidal ideation are snitches and you're not getting into heaven lmao. all you're doing is reporting someone for expressing themselves because you know and i know and everyone on this website knows that tumblr does not really care about us being suicidal, only that we're daring to say so, and isn't going to do jack shit about it anyway except maybe delete our blogs for being so bold as to talk about very real feelings we deal with daily. so learn to mind your own business and unfollow if you really can't restrain yourself from making it even harder for people with suicidal ideation to vent about their feelings.

[disposal-blueeee]

doodlesssss

scriabin belongs to zarla-s

edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 12: In Outer Space (Cool Places)

Oh boy, it's finally here!! Having been a Sparks fan for nearly a year by that point, I finally got to an album I just straight up don't like! I honestly forgot by then that this was even a possibility. But a world where I can enjoy everything in such a vast catalogue of a favourite band of mine would be too perfect. It would be pretty strange and unsettling even. Not to always make it about my other favourite band whenever I'm talking about the first, but with TMBG also I eventually got to that one studio album release that I just couldn't bring myself to like, no matter what. So I think I discovered a bit of a personal repeating pattern here.

Alright then. My verdict on this album, which already got a pretty mixed response from fans as far as I know, is that it's not very good, or at the very least, it's not for me. Even the songs I like here I mostly like in the sense of, well, this one I could listen to again outside of the album every once in a while, but they're nowhere near being an actual favourite (besides one song, or two, mayyyybe four if I'm feeling particularly generous).

So I think that my main problem here comes down to how the arrangements / instrumentals seem rather empty to me but not in a cool minimalistic way. And, dare I say, they're pretty damn uninteresting - very few elements of suprise or anticipation to be found here. This is the only Sparks album that just... doesn't feel Sparks to me. (And that's coming right after Angst, which might really just be one of the most Sparks-like of Sparks albums in a way). Something is TERRIBLY missing here and a couple catchy melodies and fun synth lines aren't enough to make up for that. It drags on quite a bit and is underwhelming to listen to as a whole. With only a couple moments of change and something more interesting and engaging. It's this sort of situation where I feel like the whole time I'm waiting for some kind of resolution that never happens ultimately. First instance of me putting on a new Sparks album and forcing myself to sit through the whole thing. And last one I hope! (and expect...? well, better not jinx it)

Ok, having said all that... This will be a historical event because I can't finish this post before I have my obligatory listen to the album of the day on its day. So, time for some real time documentation of my changing opinion, or lack thereof. Time to hear IOS in it's entirety for the first time since april!

...Ok, I'm glad that I didn't say all this in vain at least, LOL! Because I'm still underwhelmed! No major change here. Definitely still not something I'm going to return to more often than very occasionally and the "waiting for nothing" effect was very present and real once again. And it just dawned on be, but do most of these songs not have a bridge?? Maybe that could be part of why it all feels pretty predictable! But alright, as per tradition, let's look at some highlights anyway.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Cool Places: never felt in any strong way about it but repeated listens made it an enjoyable little ditty over time, lol. One of my first impressions here was how LOW Russell's voice is, this must be the lowest he's ever sung, right?? And oh, quick shoutout to the 21×21 version of it too

All You Ever Think About Is Sex: ok, this one's really cool and exactly what convinced me that the rest of the album would be enjoyable in the same way. Not for me unfortunately!!

Please, Baby, Please: my definitive fav here that I like a whole lot and that for whatever reason doesn't seem to have any of this album's problems that I described earlier. And I'll always be partial towards songs that I can interpret as being aspec-coded, thanks to my predisposition to do that as often as possible

I Wish I Looked A Little Better: very similar case to All You Ever Think About Is Sex

Dance Godammit: it's funny. It's fun to listen to sometimes

[chaos-potat]

I feel like being mutuals means so much less than everyone makes it seem

You literally just follow each other, that's it

Most of my mutuals probably don't even remember who I am after I stopped drawing for them

Edit: the rant in the tags is more about being annoyed with people who tell me they like my art and follow me, but that's it, no art support at all

[izzy-b-hands]

one minor breakdown abt election fears, and then onto chores and playing some gta. you know. as you do

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

[cookinguptales]

that said, as much as I've been struggling the past 48 hours or so, I have to admit that it has felt a little clarifying.

I've been playing the hell out of stardew valley, like I always do when I'm struggling with my PMDD, because the calming repetitive movements and bite-sized tasks (which induce the illusion of productivity) make it much easier to calm my mind and like...

I keep thinking "wouldn't it be nice to make something that soothes...?"

I felt a little embarrassed last night when I was writing about how I realized that AITNISTS would have meant the world to me when I was a queer, disabled teen feeling very broken and unlovable, and how now it almost feels like I'm writing bedtime stories for a ghost.

but... I think to some degree, that's nice, too... if I'm writing what soothes me, maybe it'll soothe someone else, too. making art that soothes people that feel broken... I think that would be nice. or... kind, at least. maybe.

it's something to aspire to, at least.

like sometimes I do feel this weird need to make something beautiful or complex or important but I guess "important" can mean a lot of different things, and so can "beautiful"...

I'm obviously never going to win any kind of literary prize with monsterfucking hurt/comfort but like. idk. maybe it's enough to write the kind of book that would have made me feel like I was capable of being loved and wanted when I was a kid.

especially if it helps anyone else now...

idk. it's a nice thought, at the very least.

[the-vibing-ghoul]

some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing

[robinsnest2111]

maybe I really need to get back into carbonated water. the latest addition to the local grocery store's bottled water selection has been quite good actually (sparkling peach and sparkling lime-lemon flavour) in those 3/4 liter "sports" bottles...

[softdreamlesssleep]

God, "I missed you" sex is the best

[numberoneanika]

Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away

[fridayyy-13th]

wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.