#i don't even know what i'm particularly nostalgic about

[m-eltdown]

being nostalgic for a certain time or place and knowing full well that you can never go back and experience any of it again no matter how much you might want to feels like a punch in the chest every time

[thesnadger]

I spent last night looking at Neocities sites and here are my takeaways:

There's a real push to keeping the internet weird, open and less corporate-driven -- info on bypassing paywalls, protecting your data, archiving web media and basic coding/tech literacy.

(I found one tutorial on how to make a pop up that detects whether someone has an ad blocker and suggests they install one if they don't! Love that.)

There's also resources on finding the kind of internet that isn't the default experience anymore - alternate search engines I hadn't even heard of, human-made link lists and webrings. (Webrings! Turns out they never went away!)

If any of that sounds interesting to you, by the way - sadgrl.online has a lot of it and is possibly the best thing on the internet????

The "90's web" aesthetic is really fun and nostalgic, but I particularly loved seeing some people bring the better parts of the "modern internet" into it. What if we had weird, eye-searing personal sites BUT with plaintext alternatives for accessibility purposes? CW for flashing lights and unreality triggers?

(Again sadgrl comes in with a lot of resources for making your website accessible.)

Most of all, I'm honestly emotional about all the sites I found that were like, "hi! I'm 14 and this is my website where I talk about stuff I like haha."

It's so good that so many kids and teens who never experienced the "old internet" are still finding stuff like this and making their own weird stuff! Not just because weird websites are more fun, but because these skills are being passed down.

Anyway it's great and who knows maybe I'll make my own site sometime to keep horror media recommendations or something.

[petday]

your art is so so so so inspiring to me which is strange bc my style isnt very similar to yours at all. but it makes me happy to see your art, especially when you make art from things from childhood id forgotten about💫💫💫💫💫🩷🩷🩷🩷

Thanks. Your message and similar messages from others over the years inspired me to try to put into words why I draw 'nostalgic things'. I ended up writing a lot.

There was a period of time when I became cynical about being seen as an 'artist who reminds people of childhood' or a 'nostalgic artist'. I no longer feel that way but I will explain why. Some artists, who I like and respect, will sometimes mention 'nostalgia holding artist's growth back' and 'nostalgia causes learned helplessness.' But I feel differently.

Maybe I perceive time differently. I have lived long enough to witness cycles of 'what is valued, and what is not valued' repeated. For example, I loved what is now called 'Y2K' style, but during mid 2000s, for whatever reason it was derided as something to be left in the past, something embarrassing. "Aren't we glad we optimized things now, and they are 'sleeker' and less complex? Old things were childish, an embarrassing weakness for humans, we must advance and reach our ideal evolution." That became the common attitude. I felt pressure to have the same thoughts. I just couldn't make myself feel that way no matter what, though. Even with the increasing threats about, 'keep up with others or you won't ever develop positive social relationships!' I couldn't change my mind.

(If what is currently valued becomes devalued and then it becomes valuable after that… that's an odd cycle to me. For example, if we like bananas, even when bananas cannot be harvested, we still like them even though they occupy a smaller space in our minds but we don't deride them. Going even further, though, I sometimes wonder if it is possible for humans to eventually remove the 'devaluation' stage, particularly in art 'trends' as I am an artist. Whatever is considered valuable remains valuable. A counter arguement would be, 'no, the devaluation of the previous thing is exactly what causes the next thing to be valued, and then the cycle flows beautifully: X was valued -> Y is valued, X is devalued -> Y is devalued, X becomes valuable again. If you want X to always remain valuable, just develop better patience. Like we cannot pick fruit we like all year, we cannot simply keep adding onto the pile of things we like, something has to be seen as inferior by the majority of humans.' I disagree. I might explain my thoughts against this argument more in the future.)

Anyway, what people call 'Y2K style' or 'art that emulates how things commonly appeared in early years of 2000s' is popular nowadays. Even someone who did not grow up with it can become attracted to it. That 'desire' itself is a communication between past and present. Something can make someone feel 'lighter' [in sense of, "wow, the crushing weight of my circumstance feels not so crushing when I look at this'] -- a similar 'light' to how someone in the past was perceiving it when it was the present and not the past. So, even though two people were born in different eras and may not become friends or even meet, they're still connected by that 'lighthearted' feeling they both like. I know it will be seen as 'lower value' soon, but I truly cannot care because as I mentioned earlier, I might perceive 'time' weirdly.

When I started playing video games, a family member would point out, 'those games were made before you were born, interesting!' but that statement confused me at the time since my perception was, 'well, if these games are from before I was born, I don't understand why she is bringing attention to it. Why is it interesting? It's just regular. They're alive in the present now, because I'm in the present and so are they.' That was when I was a very young child. I subconsciously kept the same feeling even as I was reaching teenage and adult years. The feeling echoed when people liked to ask the question 'why are you still playing games from long ago?' as I got older but still played the same 'old' games. The answer: they are beautiful and will remain beautiful, and something made in the past is still communicating in the present, so are they really truly 'outdated inferior games'...? Just because the cycle of valued and devalued happened to be in a different position and those old things were seen as an embarrassment? (Now there are popular games inspired by the era of games many people ridiculed me for consistently enjoying, lol. Similarly, I was using 'crappy' old versions of programs even through 2017. Now people from wealthy upbringing and background use 'crappy' programs willingly. lol)

The present talks to the past all the time, nostalgia is not a dead end. In that sense I cannot see nostalgia as a death trap but rather a connection made from past to present. A string between the past and present that feelings can crawl across and communicate. Feelings such as 'I wish my life took a different direction. I can't make things like how they were back then, it won't ever be the same again, so I'll do nothing.' The criticism of 'nostalgia' is towards that last sentence. But there are things you can do with those feelings. 'Doing nothing is boring. And I keep thinking of that fun drawing I saw... I kinda wanna try to make something.' Making something while thinking of the past and present at the same time, so there is a communication between past self and present self. Pure bitterness communicating with slightly light-hearted view, the 'end result' is artwork/creation.

*I used light-hearted feeling as example, but nostalgia can exist for any feeling, and not just for people who were nice when they were younger. If someone was cruel as a child/teenager, after the person has been an adult for a while, they can communicate with their younger self about what was it about the cruelty that was enjoyable, and then extract a small part from the cruelty that they wish to bring back into the present -- example, the attraction to 'high speed activities, playful mischievousness' can be extracted from 'hurting people on purpose so they will acknowledge/react to you'. The dialogue could be something like, "'honestly, you and I both know spamming people with bad things felt pretty fun at the time, so let's just keep the 'high energy mischievousness' feeling and leave behind the crap that hurt people deeply, and let's make an animation while thinking of that high energy feeling.

^ I don't answer questions or reply to messages often because of giving answers that aren't too long or too short is tough for me. lol. Thanks for liking my art. I like a lot of art that doesn't resemble mine as well. It's fun! Like appreciating different flavours in the same meal even if you cannot make the meal yourself.

[podcastenthusiast]

"Here should be safe to set up camp," Geralt says, scanning the treeline with his eyes in that odd witcher way. Like he's seeing much more than a mere mortal could.

"Thank the gods," sighs Jaskier, who's been really starting to regret skiving off those physical fitness courses at Oxenfurt.

"Get a fire started while I tend to Roach."

"Oh Geralt, I'd love to, I would. Truly it's colder than a sorceress' shapely—"

"Jaskier."

"Well, as they say: you can lead a bard to timber, but you can't make him—"

"Just do it, Jaskier."

"I don't know how! All right? I've never built a fire in the middle of nowhere before! It's not one of the seven liberal arts, and I much prefer my fires stoked by comely barmaids in taverns."

Geralt looks at him for a long moment. It's a complicated look—frustration and amusement and a hint of regret. Mostly it's a look that says Jaskier is an idiot for joining him on the Path.

"Right," Geralt says slowly. He begins building the campfire himself.

"I imagine they teach wilderness survival to baby witchers at witcher school."

Geralt looks at him again and there's something different in his expression. The ghost of a smile? Jaskier doesn't quite know how to read it.

"Kaer Morhen," he says. "And yeah. Something like that."

"Oh?" Jaskier has to rein in his enthusiasm, his curious questions. Geralt so rarely reveals anything personal about himself or his past. Not that Jaskier has been forthcoming in that regard either. They live in the moment, day by day, but some context would help his creative process.

Besides all that, he genuinely wants to get to know Geralt a little better.

"Vesemir took me out into the forest one day. Gave me a knife and left me there for a month."

There is no bitterness in his words. If anything, the witcher sounds...almost fond. Nostalgic. Proud of his younger self for overcoming the challenges his mentors set before him.

It takes a moment for the true meaning of that to sink in and, once it does, Jaskier is horrified. His own parents weren't great, but even they would never simply abandon him.

"He just— like as a test— what—?"

"Real eloquent, bard. I doubt he had any choice. Probably wasn't even supposed to give me anything."

"How old were you?" he demands, unsure if any answer will make this revelation less abhorrent.

"Six? Seven? Maybe eight. I don't know." Geralt makes a gesture with his fingers and the pile of wood beneath his hand sparks with flame. "Not old enough to have learned Igni yet."

He can picture it, too, so vividly. Curse his dammed artist's imagination. Geralt, just a kid, alone and scared and definitely cold—because no one bothered to teach him how to start a fire.

"Stop it," the witcher snaps.

"What?"

"Looking at me like that. I'm fine. I was fine back then. Wasn't so bad at all compared to the Grasses. Vesemir came back for me like he said he would. I survived the trial—no, I didn't just survive; I exceeded all expectations, which is why they..." The witcher trails off. Takes a breath.

All of that... It's quite a lot of words for Geralt. Honest words, even.

It's his job to talk, to sing, to commit the most painful and difficult experiences to beautiful poetic verse. But Jaskier doesn't know what to say to his friend right now. Surely he has to say something.

"Geralt..."

"Don't waste your pity. Save it for the ones who didn't make it through. I did."

"Okay," the bard replies, careful and tentative. He isn't a brave man, nor a particularly kind one. But Jaskier considers himself an honest fellow so he adds, "Just because you made it through, you know, that doesn't mean what happened to you was all right, Geralt. Children aren't supposed to be left alone to fend for themselves."

The witcher laughs—a humorless, wretched sound. He doesn't say anything at all to that. Which is okay, really; Jaskier just needed him to hear it.

There is a long silence. The fire crackles. Jaskier absently strums his lute.

"You're gonna write a ballad about this, aren't you," Geralt says after a while.

"No!" Maybe. Yes. He won't perform it.

"Hm."

The fire crackles.

Quite out of the blue, Geralt tells him, "I befriended a wolf back then."

"What? You're joking!"

"Witchers don't have a sense of humor. Common knowledge."

"Common misconception. Most people are just stupid. No, hang on, stop distracting me—You had a pet wolf?!"

"Not a pet," the witcher corrects, smiling faintly. "Fangtooth was her own wolf."

"Fangtooth?" Jaskier repeats, struggling to contain his amusement. "Not Roach?"

"No."

"Forgive me, but that's adorable."

"I was just a child. I wanted to stay with her in the wilderness. Be a wolf, too. Or a knight." He shakes his head dismissively. Silly childish dreams.

"But you didn't," Jaskier says. And feels stupid for saying something so obvious.

"Too late for that," Geralt replies without reproach. "I was already a witcher."

"As a child, I wanted to run away and join the circus," the bard offers.

"Of course you did."

They're quiet for a moment then. Comfortable, shared silence. Just the sounds of birds and forest creatures, and Roach contentedly eating grass. The fire crackles.

"Geralt, will you teach me to light a fire? Without witcher magic, obviously, since I don't have any."

"Why?"

"Because...well, because I could be a more useful traveling companion. Like Fangtooth must've been."

"...Fine," Geralt agrees after some thought.

It is a skill he will be very grateful to have on freezing nights in the coming years, especially whenever the witcher is too injured or ill from those dreadful potions to help set up camp. He will try not to think of the child Geralt once was, subjected to horrific tests of his ability to survive all on his own.

Except he hadn't been on his own back then, not completely. And he isn't alone anymore, either.

[amerricanartwork]

hey, just wanted to say you’re a huge inspo for me and i adore your work! your arts so nostalgic and comforting for me, reminds me so much of older animated movies and cartoons… if someone were to make an animated rain world cartoon i would immediately think you as the perfect fit for it tbh

Awww, thank you so much! you don't know how happy I was to read this!

Seriously, it's so good to hear that my art reminds you of old animated content! I take tons of inspiration from older films — particularly the first set of Disney's feature-length films — in everything from the concept art and sketches to model sheets and production art, to their methods of storytelling and the themes and messages they express. It's not just fun and entertaining, but oftentimes masterfully beautiful in ways that I feel few artists have captured since. I've said this before, but I do hope to work on published animated stories someday, and every time I hear feedback like this it makes me feel as though that dream of making art just as beautiful is actually coming into reach more and more!

And, funny you mention an "animated rain world cartoon", because I don't just take inspiration from these older works, but I actually have gotten in the habit of imagining my ideas in similar ways! I love that slightly exaggerated, or even cliche expressiveness of cartoon characters and love depicting the ones I draw like that too, I enjoy drawing in simple comic-esque format as well as paintings to better sell that cartoon vibe, most of my current voice headcanons for the RW cast are derived from cartoon characters, and in general I tend to imagine scenes as if they're actually animated and playing out on a screen.

So what I'm trying to say is that this is far from the first time I've imagined hypothetical animated Rain World cartoons, so that's probably another reason why my art comes off that way. And if anyone's thinking about making legitimate RW cartoons, I certainly would love to be a part of one should I get the chance, at least as a concept artist!

[palmtreesx3]

Prologue

SexShop!Steve x Reader : SexShop!Robin x OC

Series Masterlist

Series Summary: Steve and Robin have about had it with Hawkins, so on Robin's 25th birthday, the pair decides that there's nothing holding them there anymore and they start packing their bags. The friends move to Chicago and quickly find an apartment to call their own. As luck would have it, Robin stumbles on a no-strings-attached job offer for both of them - what could be better?! Now just to break the news to Steve…. This multi part story will both explore their platonic relationship and their chaotic experience working at the sex shop together as well as their own paths of self discovery as they plant their roots in their new city and finally deal with the invisible baggage they drug along with them when they moved. 

Warnings: no warnings...this time. Some non cannon relationships in this AU but cannon themes and Easter eggs a-plenty.

Chicago: Summer of 1993

It's only his 5th trip up and down the steps in the last hour, and Steve has about had it. Being left to haul a car full of Robin's personal belongings and boxes up the three flights of spiraling staircases to their brand new apartment building while she goes off in search of dinner and some help wanted signs seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn't until he opened the hatch and saw how MUCH she actually packed did he immediately regret his choice to stay behind. He stood there regretting his current situation in an unfamiliar, bustling and loud city while sweat beaded on his hairline and flush spread across his cheeks in the humid June air.

Muttering to himself as he passes a redheaded teen girl carrying a skateboard who refuses to get out of his way on the staircase, he finally pushes his way through their doorway and he's thankful to feel the window unit he threw in first thing after they arrived starting to rev up and cool down the space. Steve repositions the particularly heavy box full of Robin's things on his hip while he reaches over for his cup of iced water setting on the counter and pooling condensation. Desperate for the reprieve, Steve gulps down an extra large sip and attempts to swallow but all sense of relief washes away as something slams into his whole left side. The glass he is holding ricochets down to the ground while Robin's box of nostalgic memorabilia topples over and spills out too. Hawkins High all over the floor. 

 "Jesus Christ, Robbie, what the hell!?" 

Bending over to start collecting all of Robin's teenage memories, the last threads holding her down to a town that didn't love her as much as she loved it - Steve doesn't hear anything she says when she first lifts her fists over her head and into the air in celebration - barely registering that she body checked the boy as she threw open the door. 

"Rob. Robbie, what the fuck are you saying? You're doing the thing… " he waves his hand in her general direction. 

"Oh fuck, sorry." Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath to regroup, realizing now that she came in making a whole lot of noise and saying not a damn thing at all.

She takes a deep breath and with a gleam behind her eye proclaims "I landed us a job, Dingus!" Both fists jolting upwards into the air again, he now sees the job applications crumpled up in her fists and yielded like torches. 

"Dude, gimmie that." Steve says. "You're gonna ruin it before I can even fill it out. We can't start a new job being that unprofessional. Christ… . What are we doing anyway? Gotta be better than that restaurant gig we both bombed before we left Indiana."

"Ok so, yeah, yeah this has the potential to be better than that. Definitely better than Family Video. For sure. And there's no stupid costume like Scoops. God. That sucked. We should pretty much know how to do a lot of it already and the manager seems like he's kinda chill. I told him I don't really know much about the ... uh...topic…but uh…that I'm a fast learner and he said we start on Monday and to bring the paperwork with us." She rambles, motioning to the pages Steve now holds in his hand. 

"O-oh kay Robin. Details please. You know them in your head but I don't yet. You-you gotta share." 

"Ha! Yeah! Sorry about that, I mean…." while she trails off and starts to fidget, Steve immediately knows there's more to the story.

"Robbie. What are you not telling me? " 

"It's called The Hideout. It's on Clark St, just a few streets over. 20 minutes walking - tops."

"20 minutes is doable." he says, and then quips back "Man, don't tell me it's a restaurant. I really didn't want to eat shit at that job all over again. I guess I'll take what I can get so we can at least get on our feet… "

" It'snotarestaurantit'sasexshop!" Robin blurts out in one rushed garble of words. 

"I'm sorry, WHAT did you say?" Steve stands with his hands on his hips, looking at her incredulously. "Did you say SEX SHOP?" 

Steve is freaking out. He's immediately embarrassed for something he hasn't even done yet. He can feel the tips of his ears going hot and shades of red staining his face and neck in splotches. Are those hives? She's giving me hives, he thinks to himself.

"What am I supposed to tell people when they ask what I do?! What are we supposed to tell the kids back home when they start to call non-stop? What am I supposed to say to my DAD, Robin?" He can feel her mere existance giving him heart palpitations while she looks on at him sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders. All he can do is focus on his breathing so he doesn't blow a gasket on his friend. 

Among the myriad of other things this move has going for the pair, Robin sees moving to Chicago as her opportunity to live who she is out loud and finally be free of the confines a small town puts on someone who looks a little different, thinks a little different and loves a little different. Steve, just happy for the fresh start and the chance to maybe do things for himself for once, was not really thinking this is how it would all start out, but looking at the excitement on Robin’s face made him soften just a little. 

Now pacing back and forth across the entryway to dispel her nervous energy, she looks on at her exasperated friend and he gives her an almost indistinguishable nod of the head in agreement. She smiles softly at him and says, "Anyway, I distinctly remember you once encouraging me to talk about boobies with you, Steve. Lighten up and get ready for tits, dicks…all of it! I'm ready and this city is my sexual awakening!" 

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @livsters

[ozzgin]

[Baki Masterlist]

Yandere! Kaiou Retsu x Artist! Reader

You open the door to the Shinshinkai Dojo and greet some of the men in the hall with a nod.

"You're here earlier than usual." One of them comments as you pass by.

"Yeah, the last lecture was cancelled and I had no other plans", you respond with a smile.

"You know it's getting serious when your free time is turned into training time. That's how it was for me!" the man lets out a hearty laugh.

"No way, I'm not made for this." You wave your hand in dismissal. "I'm just going with the flow and seeing where that takes me."

You go on your way, ruminating over the brief exchange. It's been a few months since you began taking karate lessons at the Dojo. You still remember Katsumi's perplexed expression as you stood before him, handing over the sign up papers.

"A-are you sure? The sparring can get quite rough and you're... well... uh..."

"You advertise it as perfect for self defense. Who needs it more, the buff pal over there or this short college student that can't even sketch in the park without being harassed by perverts?"

You slap the papers on the table with a loud thud. The man blushes slightly, realizing the irony.

"I apologize. You're entirely right." He scans over the form. "Evening classes. That's when I teach, actually! Looking forward to seeing you, then."

After the first few weeks of mostly standard workout in order to build stamina, you started learning the basics. Katsumi was greatly surprised and equally impressed by your unexpected skill. Turns out you weren't half bad at this! And so he suggested you show up more often, because he wanted to see how your newly discovered talent would develop in time.

As thankful as you are for his support, you find the whole ordeal rather funny. You don't have any intention of becoming some professional fighter. You're an artist and plan to remain one for the indefinite future. The little karate hobby serves as your dose of healthy activity and as the occasional inspiration, since you particularly enjoy recreating the human body and its intricacies on paper or in clay.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" Katsumi spots you and gestures for you to come over. Your nostalgic daydreaming has been interrupted. "Remember when I said that it helps to expand your knowledge? I have just the person for that." He places a hand on your back and guides you further into one of the main rooms.

"Here she is, Retsu-san. You might not believe it at first, neither did I, but I guarantee you she has a lot of potential."

You bow slightly to the stranger in front of you and he silently returns the gesture. He seems mildly awkward about the encounter.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I follow. What is this about?" you ask, somewhat confused. The deep stare of the long haired man intimidates you, so you avoid it by throwing quick glances at Katsumi instead.

"Would you be interested in learning Chinese Kenpo? This is Kaiou Retsu. He'll be joining us at the Dojo for a while. I thought you could use some variety."

"Shouldn't you be asking him if he's willing to teach rookies like me?" you wonder if this poor man had his services offered against his will.

"It is my great pleasure to spread the knowledge of this ancient art. I only ask that you treat it with respect and don't take it lightly." Retsu straightens his back and looks ahead, in no particular direction.

Ah, how embarrassing. He can't even look at her properly. He wishes he could drag Katsumi out in the hallway and whack some common sense into him. The least he could've done was to let him know who to expect.

Obviously he's seen women before. He's been out of the temple for a long time now. So why is he acting so strange all of a sudden? Katsumi was very secretive about his new favorite student and refused to give him any details besides "you won't regret it". He anticipated anything but this. He's especially baffled at his own reaction meeting (Y/N).

All he can do now is to pray that he isn't so obvious in just how flustered this woman has gotten him. He wonders if Katsumi went through the same nervousness when he first met you. He secretly peeks at the young man and notices how relaxed he seems to be next to you. Yeah, perhaps he just needs a little time. Then he can treat you with the same confidence, too.

***

"What matters the most here is actually the placement of the foot. If it's slightly tilted the wrong way, you lose all support and everything else falls apart. A good kick needs an equally good grounding."

Retsu is in his comfort zone. For a mere moment, he can forget his audience and focus on his technique. This is what he does best. Still concentrated, he unbuttons his shirt and throws it aside, as this is how he usually fights.

"Find the weak point depending on your opponent's stance, and quickly make your move before they've got it figured out."

He demonstrates the attack, followed by a few skillful jumps as he returns to his initial spot. He checks to see if you've been following his instructions, a prideful smile plastered on his face. Your eyes are wide, mouth slightly open in shameless marvel. His smile immediately vanishes and is replaced by an embarrassed frown. Why are you looking at him like that? It's one of the most basic moves he can think of.

You suddenly clap your hands together and lower your head in a begging posture. The way his body bends and folds in such a fluid, continuous way, the way his muscles contract rhythmically in a calculated vigor... This man is not only a master of martial arts, but your newly found muse.

"Please excuse my rudeness, but I really can't think of a better way to put it. Might I be allowed to sketch you during your training? I really wish I could capture your artistry."

You shyly glance up, worried you may have angered the Chinese man. He's covering his face with one hand and you tense up, unsure of how to proceed. Should you apologize? Then you manage to discern the deep blush that's taken over his face.

He must calm down at once. He's inhaling deeply, attempting to regulate his breathing. He can feel the vibration of his heart slamming into his chest at great speed. Truly, how happy your words made him. And this brings him to the abrupt realization that he will never be like Katsumi around you.

It's been a little under a month since he's met you, and the slightest interaction coming from you makes his whole composure collapse into shambles. All the feelings and thoughts are now avalanching over, burying him and making him unable to let a single word out. It could very well be that he's in love with you, but it's a frightful, rabid adoration that trickles out of his grasp, as if it could escape from his control at any moment. It's a terrifying discovery for someone that so values their discipline.

"If it's too troublesome, you can forget about it. I got too excited. To be honest, I've been using you as a reference for some time now, but it felt wrong not to tell you about it."

You crouch down to your backpack and hesitantly pull out a notebook with pages sticking out. You peel open the covers and spread some of the papers onto the ground, for a better view.

Retsu squats down with you and gazes over the detailed pencil works, partly distracted. He'd appreciate your anatomical accuracy if it wasn't for his presently feverish state. He places your hands between his and analyzes them. What a difference. Dainty, fragile and yet powerful enough to win Katsumi's respect. Nonetheless of insignificant size compared to his large, calloused and weathered palms. To think that you've been watching him the same way he's been watching you all this time. Perhaps for somewhat different reasons. How would you react if you knew? What would you think of someone like him?

"Umm..." you swallow dryly as you attempt to break the silence. You can almost hear a faint ringing in your ears.

What if you were to reject his confession? It wouldn't be the first time he's faced defeat. Retsu is however unsure if he'd be willing to accept it this time. He looks at you with newly found resolve. No matter what, he'll do what it takes to become a man worthy of your love. If only he could remain your inspiration forever.

[billpottsismygf]

The Devil's Chord! This was my most highly anticipated episode of the series because of The Beatles - who I'm very nostalgic for, sue me - but they had a much smaller part than I expected. That may be for the best, as the actors don't look anything like the real deal, but they did an admirable job considering the circumstances.

I love the idea behind this one. I'm a musician myself and love things about music. Music being important, music being holy, I love it all. Everything from Maestro playing us into the theme tune, to the way it aligns with the characters' established personalities (the Doctor's jukebox and Ruby's band), made me very happy. The music battle was especially cool. Very The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Out there, but I liked it a lot.

Maestro was also a lot. I liked them, though. Great costumes, great performance. A campy villain in the best way. They're the Toymaker's child, which is interesting in itself, and I like that the rules around fair play seemed to extend to them as well.

There was a lot of series arc stuff here. So, Ruby has Carol of the Bells deeply ingrained within her. There was some important figure (another of the Pantheon, presumably) at her birth - is Ruby herself a child of the Pantheon? More snow, as well. There's also the One Who Waits coming up again. It all feels a little too self-conscious and crammed in - "remember, there's pay-off coming for these random mysteries that you have no context for!". I know we live in an era of heavily serialised media, in large part because of streaming and the binge model, and obviously Doctor Who has been semi-serialised since the revival, but it just seems like a lot. Maybe even too much, especially since the first episode was quite heavy with it too.

Although, I did wonder if this one was meant to be later in the series. First Ruby saying "you never hide" and then "you always know what to do" signaled a far longer association with the Doctor than she has had, but then it was especially jarring when she said it was hard to keep track of when her time is and it could be June or July... That sounds like someone who's been travelling with the Doctor for a while, not like someone who's on their second trip. And it was Christmas for her only last episode. Obviously there can be off-screen trips, but usually for the first couple of episodes we want to feel that this is the start of their journey as the audience gets to know them. Did this get plucked from later in the series and dropped into the episode 2 slot? Because it seems a bit of a shame, if so.

There was a lot of fourth wall breaking in this one as well. There was a wink to camera each from Maestro and the Doctor, as well as the Doctor's comment about thinking the music was non-diegetic (a nice little moment that probably a lot of people will miss). I do quite like a meta moment, and particularly loved the Twelfth Doctor's partaking in them, but I wonder if these serve a particular purpose, because we also had Mrs Flood talking to camera at the end of the Christmas special. Since RTD seems to be going with a theme that the rules of the universe have changed and become a bit more magical, I wouldn't be surprised if the meta elements tied in somehow.

Then, this is less meta and more fully surreal, but that whole ending musical number was... odd. I don't know what I think about it yet. The Doctor with his wink and "there's always a twist at the end" seemed to signal that we were leaving the normal reality of the show, but then... Did that musical number literally happen? How about the Abbey Road zebra crossing acting like a piano? It's part of my specific brand of autism that I struggle with surreal things when it's not clear how/whether they relate to the more realistic things going on, so maybe other people love it. It just made me feel confused, though, and slightly annoyed. I expected a musical number because the trailers showing this made that fairly clear, but I'd assumed it would be explicitly connected to the strange happenings of the episode. Instead it's just plonked at the end after everything has been fixed.

A lot of this latter stuff sounds quite negative, but overall I really liked this one! As I said before, the music stuff speaks to me personally very much, and I'll withhold final judgement about the serialisation stuff and even the meta/surreal stuff, as it may well pay off yet.

Small things

Love their outfits so much, and obviously we've known about them for a while, but it was funny they were worried about blending in when both of them (especially Ruby) were wearing pretty 60s adjacent outfits at the start. The Doctor was more 70s, but I don't think many people would have looked askance.

Ahhhh, Fifteen mentioning that One was in the junkyard made me exceedingly happy! The speculation about what happened to Susan also has me hoping beyond hope that this might be set-up for a Susan return.

I loved that extended instrumental scene where Ruby just played on the rooftop and people listened. It was quite moving!

Love hearing the word "lesbians" on Doctor Who <3 - I don't think even Bill explicitly got to use that word!

Just the general queerness is really nice. Ruby writing a song for her friend's gay break up. Maestro being they/them and it not really being a thing beyond their introduction. Ruby's mum having a "girlfriend" who was a Beatles fan that makes me wonder if that's in the platonic or gay sense.

I want to know the behind the scenes details of how they chose the music they did, especially when it comes to the chords that both summon and banish Maestro.

Henry the child is real and alive at the end! (Though it's during the musical number, so I guess real is dubious.) When he vanished into nothingness (and his music teacher didn't seem to care), I had thought he wasn't real. Does he have his own world-ending powers?

The Doctor referring to bigeneration as having had his soul "torn in half". Hmm, don't like that! I won't rehash my feelings on bigeneration here, but this implies that there is not continuity between the end of Fourteen and the start of Fifteen, which mucks up one of the only ways I could hold onto being just about okay with it.

[danrifics]

I was out of dnp space for a while and these new videos are hitting hard. And I think I've figured it out.

With the loss of the gaming channel it almost felt like they were beyond/above doing it anymore, and I for some reason took that as 'oh they think this is cringe or not good or something to be embarrassed about' so they stopped. And what these new videos have done is completely reverse that idea in my head (which I don't think was actually even real at all) in that no, they loved the gaming channel, they love all their videos, they remember everything so fondly, and are so proud of what they've done.

And that's like, healing? In a way? Cause it was almost like my enjoyment of these things were invalidated due to my projected thoughts about why they stopped. So them being extremely nostalgic is...just really comforting. Like bitch, me too! I'm nostalgic too! Thank you for sharing this!! I missed the fun you had and we had and goddammit. You're funny and I forgot just how funny but it's even better now cause you're free and unfiltered and happy and dammit. I don't know how to handle that except smile and enjoy the ride.

i feel like we all kinda felt a bit confused and maybe betrayed by it at the start of the hiatus cos like we all fucking love dapg so much and its hard when you dont really understand at the time why they actually stopped. like now we know it was a bit of burn out and a huge bit to do with neither of them feeling like they could carry on while holding on to such a big secret, like i dont particularly know what its like to be closeted cos ive been out as queer since i learned what being queer (bisexual really) was when i was like 12 but like i know from other peoples experiences how hard it is to keep it from a few people i cant image how difficult it was to keep that from millions

but now theyre out and they can be themselves they can come back to dapg and actually really love it and its so beautiful to watch, to see how confident they are and how just themselves they are. queer joy is so beautiful and we get to see it every week, its absolutely beautiful

sorry this went on tangent i just have thoughts about and love for them and i couldn’t stop 😂

[upslapmeal]

The Devil's Chord

For context going into this episode, I can name off the top of my head.....3 Beatles songs? idk I'd probably recognise more but I was v much hoping this episode didn't hinge on having any actual emotional attachment to them lol

that kid is excellently cast, really looks the part

RIP Henry your great casting was cut short too soon

very chaotic vibes from Maestro!

the theme on the piano!!

the theme on the jukebox!!

‘I want to see the Beatles’ followed by the most cute serious face <3

sure Doctor you've never been to see them but you've had the space time visualiser!

lmao Ruby and Fifteen are so much fun

pure vibes and here for a good time!

1963!!

meanwhile One is busy kidnapping Ian and Babs lol

so. gonna guess from their faces it’s not an actual Beatles song

poor Fifteen dying at the orchestra and Ruby just 😐😐 *pat on the back*

hey it’s that lady again!

do these people look like the Beatles? I feel like they don't but again. I don't really know what they did look like

so my question with all this is.. why still make music if music isn't a thing any more?

why are the Beatles formed as a group and recording with someone encouraging them in the control room?

why even set up a recording studio at all?? I guess it speaks to the underlying human-ness of music

that even when musicality is gone, people are still forcing themselves to make some sort of music

yeah I feel like I should care more about the Beatles lol

Lennon and McCartney just. immediately baring their souls

feels weird watching this and knowing it's about someone who's still alive

'GEGGC'....ah ~~music~~

'we had bad smog in November ’62' I love how the Doctor speaks like a reminiscing Londoner bc that's what he was!!

Susan mention red alert!!!

‘timelords were murdered. :D I’M FINE’ sure

Ruby's theme!

interesting that in-universe it’s music she wrote for someone else

the giggle!!

‘you never hide’ I get that Fifteen and Ruby were instant besties but she's speaking like someone who's known the Doctor way longer than 3 adventures

the sonic screwdriver being sonic!!

RIP piano granny

‘defeating him took everything*’ * catching a ball

‘you always know’ idk if it's a symptom of the reduced episode count but it does feel like they've skipped over a fair bit of Ruby and Fifteen getting to know each other

‘I was born in 2004’ 👵🏻

oh so it’s been 6 months since the last ep??

again I guess the reduced ep count has meant speeding through but :/

‘where’s my mum’ :(((

I like the un-music that Murray Gold has going on for this bit. v effective.

child of the Toymaker??

‘now time for my ppt presentation about nuclear winter’

'the lost chord' - I feel like they could have done a lil bit more with that at the start bc it didn't feel as though the guy played anything particularly unusual or special?

lol Fifteen kissing the tardis better. I mean it seemed to work

the Doctor leaving Actual Musician Ruby Sunday in the control room while he tries to play a guitar

‘I thought that was non-diegetic’ lmao I guess it makes sense that the whole episode's music is being messed with

‘there’s a hidden song deep inside her soul’ hmmmm

...secret evil power Ruby??

excellent visual of her held up by the music in the snow

they're lucky Maestro doesn't seem interested in just. killing them.

‘music battle’ this is so weird. not sure if it's weird in a way I'm enjoying

this ep has felt a bit....meandering isn't the word but I don't know what is

lmao the nostalgic voiceover…not-Lennon totally unfazed by magical floating notes...reading them even though they absolutely cannot be read because there’s no stave

danse macabre!

it’s just so funny that it's the most boring-ass chord that defeats Maestro

the thing is the ep did v little to establish these guys as Characters To Root For outside them being Beatles and I just. don't care

I'd be interested to know if Beatles fans felt more about them saving the day

musical number!!

that shot of Fifteen vibing in the spotlight is so much fun!

and the one of him and everyone in the control room watching Ruby!

the world has been deprived of music for so long that of course it explodes into a musical number!!

and a certain Mr H Arbinger returns…I imagine that's not the last we'll see of him

what a fun end lol

I dunno about this one, it had good stuff but some of it was a bit all over the place and weird in a way that I didn't enjoy that much. And some of the music-specific stuff just idk. didn't land.

Also I rewatched the ep before editing my notes but I watched it as ep4 which honestly made Fifteen and Ruby's dynamic seem less rushed (and then there wasn't the weirdness in Boom of Ruby not going to a planet for the first 6 months of travelling).

I don't know. Mixed bag this one.

[speedofsoundsketches]

I'm curious, do you have specific favorite voice actors for the Sonic characters? (Like just the main few, Sonic, Shadow, Tails, etc.) if so, may we know your favorites?

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one so under the cut.

Jun'ichi Kanemaru is THE standard for Sonic. The guy is passionate about the role and captures him perfectly. Plus, he's a great singer! The English VA that came closest to matching him is Jason Griffith. (honorable mention to Devon Mack. Low as my opinion is of Prime, Devon's voice is actually pretty suitable for Sonic. Would like to hear him in a better product!)

The late Chikao Ōtsuka for Eggman was wonderful, but I have zero complaints with Mike Pollack. Really, no matter what style or tone he's portrayed Eggman in, he's always done it superbly. I'd say of all English VA's that worked in this series, Mr. Pollack's probably been the one who's NEVER had a miss. Guy's got incredible range even in his work outside of Sonic (using this as a chance to shill the Pluto Anime since he starred in it. GO WATCH IT PLEASE.)

Tails is really really REALLY hard to mess up. His voice actresses have typically been great at capturing him (save for OVA Tails who talks like he has a cold). Coleen's a fine Tails and suitable replacement for Amy Palant but I may still prefer Palant just because she's the nostalgic one for me being in all the 2000's games plus Sonic X.

Knuckles voice preference is a tough call. His VA needs to be able to play up both his aggressive and gentler sides. It's a toss up between Dan Green and his current VA Dave B Mitchell. Mitchell has been doing good work in the animated shorts so I like him and he's the best we've had since Dan moved on. His Japanese VA, Nobutoshi Kanna, is great as well for the same reasons. :)

Amy's best actress is still her JPN VA, Taeko Kawata (who is also a lovely singer!) Lisa Ortiz to this day is STILL her best ENG VA. She captured Amy's youthful, cutesy appeal but can IMMEDIATELY switch to her assertive side naturally. Fantastic range and it's too bad that Amy's assertiveness has been subdued so much lately that this can't be fully appreciated anymore.

Cream's had far fewer options to choose from. I like both her actresses in JPN (Sayaka Aoki) and ENG (Rebecca Honig) honestly. I do like the almost whispery gentleness to her ENG voice particularly. Just helps her feel very soft and sweet.

Shadow's JPN VA, Kōji Yusa, is so good. You really can't go wrong here. For the ENG VA, this might be a bit controversial because while I appreciate David Humphrey as Shadow's debut in SA2, I'm still partial to Jason Griffith purely because once he got accustomed to Shadow as a character, he really elevated the role. I think his performance in 06 was one of the best moments for the character overall.

Rouge might one of the few times where I actually prefer her current ENG voice actress, Karen Strassman, to her older one. Her JPN VA, Rumi Ochiai, is THE standard tho so Karen just suits her best as a close match! Youthful yet still mature and her flirty quality doesn't sound too forced.

Omega's JPN VA (Taiten Kusunoki) IS SO AMAZING. It's hilariously deeper than I expected but still robotic so something about it just WORKS. His ENG VA is alright too. But I just love the JPN Voice, I don't know why.

May do a part two if I have time for the others!

[csphire]

Updated Dammon Build Guide!

Sad because you need more Dammon? Here is an updated guide on how to make him into your player character or dream guardian.

First, let's discuss the mods you'll need if you want to get your player character as close as possible to Dammon's long-lost twin or evil clone. Are you on a console or don't want to mod? No worries, alternative suggestions will be provided in this guide too.

Clothing:

This is only needed if you wish for him to wear the same outfit and for it to be the right color. If you want to keep the number of mods on the low side, you can use Basket Full of Equipment instead. It does have a blacksmith outfit, scarf and his boots too. (The boots are called: Black Leather Footwear D, just dye them brown. The scarf dye Swamp Green.)

Just know as of posting this, there is no dye in the game to match Dammon's existing choice of colors on his blacksmithing outfit perfectly. I would recommend when using Basket Full of Equipment to go with the scarf-free version and dye it Faewild Green and Dun Dye. Then you'll find his scarf in the cloak bag and dye that Swamp Green. If you can't get your hands on that rare dye Swamp Green works great too.

Eyes (and a jump start with the dream guardian):

What do I mean by jumpstart? Well... the modder here made a great start of what Dammon looks like. But I suspect the way the mod and/or game functions, some of Dammon's coloring is a little off. His horns are nearly white, and his eyes are brown, that is if you're trying to make the dream guardian look like him. This might be corrected in the future.

What's important about this mod is that it unlocks Dammon's unique eye color for not only the Guardian but also the Player Character. It's the only one I've found so far that does this. If there are other mods that come along that just unlock his eyes, I'll be happy to include them here too.

Don't want to install mods or can't? Try the Blue 3 or Sapphire 4 eyes. Or if you want them to glow more then have central heterochromia Elf Blue 1 and 2 are nice options as well.

Fun fact: Dammon's eyes are blue with central heterochromia.

Oh, and there is also the option to go with his Early-Access eye color Elf-Gold 3 if you're feeling particularly nostalgic.

The Quick and Easy Way:

Want to make the player character and every companion in your party look like Dammon? Well, this is the mod for you. There is however a caveat. He's stuck in that blacksmith outfit. As in not even for love scenes will he get naked. Alas, the real Dammon model doesn't have a nude character model option-at least not yet. Any who...

Onwards to the rest of character creation!

But first, a few quick side-by-side final comparisons to confirm the appearance you should get when following this guide.

Head, Skintone, and Horn Color:

Head 4

Blush Tone 5

Malbolge Spires with Dusty 6 for both base and tip color.

Hair:

Style - Arabel Ribbon Hair Color - Blonde 3 Highlight - Red 6 Intensity 80.

Makeup (optional):

Eye Makeup - Butterscotch (Intensity 40, Metallic Tint 10, and Glossy 10) Limp Tint - Red 1 (Intensity 10, Metallic Tint 10, and Glossy 10) For makeup, I'm unsure if Dammon wears any but in all the images here I did add a subtle amount to try to make his eyes stand out a little. This might be helpful if you're stuck using Blue 3 or Sapphire 4. I thought to also add a tiny bit of gloss to his lips since he's not hanging out by his forge so much. This is just a personal preference.

In fact, Makeup 12 comes in handy for guys or gals in general at a 10 to 50 tint level to make their eyes look a little deeper set, tired even and um... more broody? Play around with this and other make-ups and have fun.

Scar (optional):

Dammon does have a scar over the bridge of his nose, under his right eye, and on his lower left lip. But on him, as seen below, it's faded. Scar 3 comes sorta close but it's rather distracting. Until we can get a scar depth or age slidder from Larian (or a mod) I would skip it entirely for now.

Class, Race, Voice, and Stats (optional):

According to the Wiki Dammon is an Asmodeus Tiefling but you could subrace him into Mephistopheles or Zariel as head 4 is available to all subraces. Changing his subrace might prove advantageous depending upon what class you wish to play.

For voice, nothing can replace Frazer Blaxland's, but... I found Voice 3, out of all of them, is similar in depth and warmth.

If playing as Dammon and you want to get as close to his abilities, and fighting style as possible, it's all an educated guess. This is only mine on one class example: Druid.

To start, I made sure that all his stats were at least 10 in everything just like his original. For the extra points left over, I put them into upping his Dexterity as it helps with dodging damage. After all, you don't need a lot of hp if you can dodge damage. I also put a few extra points into the main stat for his class and a bit in Charisma just to make conversation rolls easier. For background, I went with Guild Artisan to further help him with persuasion, give him some insight, and for roleplaying purposes since he was a blacksmith. For cantrips, I would highly recommend picking Guidance if available to further aid all conversation rolls.

I went with Druid because it lets him wield a scimitar right at the start. On the Nautolid you can usually find two of these weapons. "Who uses wooden tools!" Dammon shouts as he throws that ugly staff overboard into the fires of Avernus. The second reason is perhaps while he was in the grove he learned a thing or two. He did after all pick up a few skills while in Avernus, why not at the Druid Grove too? It's just one level and you could multi-class him into anything later on.

The third reason I went with Druid for class is your doppelganger gets a discount from Arron, the other merchant to be found there.

But of course, you can make him any other class you wish or multi-class him. I did so myself by adding dragon sorcerer and bard to him later on. This is just an idea, but one could use his playthrough to try and get the Jack-of-all-Trades achievement.

If I had to go with an official class for him, my money would be on Artificer with a subclass of a Battle Smith, to be precise. The video down below explains what they are, and as early as Act II Dammon can literally craft us some bombs and free armor if you bring him the right things. He would be the perfect Artificer companion if we in the future get that class in a DLC. (And romance option-yes while keeping most of his mystery too, Frazer. This will explain just one example of how it's possible.)

Sadly, no official Artificer class yet but there are a few mods you can try out by just searching the term Artificer on the Nexus. But this mod looks so far the most polished and fleshed out called:

Hope all this info helps you have some fun. Please feel free to tag and share with me your Dammon creations! Need any help feel free to reach out, I'd be happy to help. Looking for my old guide? It's here.

*Full Disclosure: In the previous versions of my guide, I was mistaken about his skin tone being Blush 4. After a near-unhealthy amount of scrutiny of Dammon's model, I apologize for this mistake. It's Blush 5, and the majority of the screenshots, ones that focus on his appearance, have been corrected accordingly. I apologize for this mistake and any inconvenience it has caused.

[daegu-based-terrorist]

hi! i was about to say i'm from russia but then remembered my username lol. anyway i saw someone reblogged one of your posts of photos from dprk and you have the best username ever! i love dprk and never believed the propaganda bc i know it's all the same shit that was said about ussr (minus the racism bc westerners think everyone in russia is white). plus seeing dprk is like very warm and nostalgic to me bc it makes me think of ussr (i was born at the very end of its existence alas, like less than a month before the end). anyway sorry long introduction! i am wondering, esp since you've lived in both dprk and rok, what is the attitude of rok people about the country being divided? do they believe in the same type of western propaganda? do many/most have family there? i have wanted to ask some friends (from south korea) about it but i don't want it to be taken wrong. also i hope to visit korea next year! do you think it is good for tourists to visit?

sorry this was so long, hope it is not weird.

No not to long or too weird don’t worry. Sorry I took so long answering this I was working and I have no paid breaks (kill all small businesses owners istg)

Thank you!!! I actually love your user name I came across it in reblogs I think a couple of days ago and was like “damn I wish my username was that cool.” I’ve actually been fighting with myself as to whether or not my user name is too clunky and should be gotten rid off so nice to have an outside opinion.

Also weird but I had the same situation but opposite. When I was like 7 and 8 and in my first years of South Korean schooling we would do trips to museums and those museum trips ALWAYS had a communism = bad section and they talked about the dprk and the Soviet Union back to back and since they were lying about what happens in the dprk I assumed they were also lying about what happened in the Soviet Union (unfortunately also past tense, I’m a 2004 child) and whenever we did class debates about the history of Europe and got to Eastern Europe I was always the annoying person on the other side of the classroom defending the USSR with my LIFE.

Anyway on to the meat of your message: the majority of people want the dprk and the rok to be united under the rok, a minority (lets go communists!) want the rok and dprk to be united under a reformed dprk or a entirely new communist Korea. There are some stragglers also believe in an entirely new Korea but capitalist… God knows why. And then there is like roughly 20-30% of the population who are heavily against reunification and either want a deescalation of this weird Cold War thing we have going on or just don’t particularly care for politics but are super pessimist about the situation.

Yes unfortunately most believe in the same western propaganda and I’d argue it’s worse here. North Korean voices are actively silenced if they don’t agree with the established narrative (funfact the reason people are so familiar with “defectors” is because they are the ones that are the most pushed by South Korean and western media, the majority of us left not for political but totally mundane reasons like poverty. My family left because the North Korean health system sucks ass and I’m genetically predisposed to the illness that killed my father <3) the Korean Wikipedia is so biased you wouldn’t even believe it, like if you thought English Wikipedia was biased talking about North Korea just wait until you see Korean Wikipedia. People will generally believe all sorts of bullshit and talking positively about North Korea at all is either punished legally or socially pretty severely. Today I had the reruns of the mixed table tennis on the TV at the store I worked at and was harassed into turning it off because people didn’t want to watch North Korean athletes… exist? Idk

There is a lot of discrimination against North Korean refugees and our children in the south. I think it was polled that like 50% of us have experienced some sort of discrimination but I think it’s higher. A lot of other North Koreans I speak to are, like me, planning on moving to China or going to the west. A lot of us plan to go to China because with Chinese citizenship you can regularly and easily visit North Korea. I think it’s getting worse as the years go on, North Koreans are becoming even more “other” to South Koreans and they don’t even really see us as one ethnic people anymore. I have pretty brown skin, even for your average North Korean and alot of my childhood bullying involved people asking me if I hadn’t taken a bath since I crawled across the mud border (alot of South Koreans have this weird view of the border as trench warfare for some reason) and other things that tied my features to my skin colour. Like big lips weren’t popular in Korea when I was growing up but in the north people do usually have bigger lips and people would ask stupid questions like if the puffiness of my lips came from eating rat poison 💀 but that’s all mostly (physically) harmless childhood bullying, but employment and housing discrimination towards North Koreans is a big problem here. It’s very hard to leave the house that is assigned to you by the South Korean government because nobody wants to house North Koreans and nobody wants to employ us either. My mum has a very strong Hamgyŏng accent and people would be excited to interview and probably hire her until they heard her accent and realised where she was from.

Older people definitely still have family across the border, personally all of my family are in North Korea or China but alot of people fled in either direction north or south during the end months of the Korean War or due to occupation by either military force. So folks that were young during the Korean War tend to have cousins across the border but there has been two, three generations since the end of the war and a apathy has developed among people my age. I knew a girl who’s grandma had left her brothers behind in the city I was from, Hamhung, but she personally believed that North Korea should be bombed to oblivion and taken by force.

And on a much lighter note: yes! South Korea (I’m assuming you mean South) is amazing to visit. People are friendly and the food is good and there is times of attractions for tourists. No matter where you go you’ll have a good time. Of course I personally recommend Daegu, it’s a really good city if you want to escape the tourist overcrowding of Souel and see how us everyday Koreans live without getting lost in the rural Chungcheongbuk-do or something. https://tour.daegu.go.kr/eng/index.do

Also if you get the chance, VISIT THE NATIONAL PARKS!! You will have the absolute best time and it’s such a nice escape from how overcrowded and overstimulating urban South Korea is. Seoraksan National Park is always full of tourists but still worth it. Biseulsan Provincial Park is my personal haunt because I live somewhat nearby and it has amazing views. There is also Palgongsan mountain and the Palgongsan Olleh-gil trail which is a really great place to go hiking.

Anyway you should definitely visit South Korea

[my-mt-heart]

“The Book of Carol” Teaser

Well, that was some serious whiplash yesterday. Totally not suspicious. Not suspicious at all. I'm still uneasy about the show's leadership, but the teaser is by far the best reassurance we've gotten in a long while and Caryl fans are happier than I've seen them in over a year, so I'll take it. Hopefully we can expect exciting content like this to roll out consistently until S2 airs, but in the meantime, here are my thoughts on what we have...

Daryl's opening VO, "I dunno know if this is the place I'm supposed to be," is actually a line from the leaked 201 sides. In them, Daryl has a conversation with Isabelle, the details of which I'll discuss sometime after the finale airs, but what's relevant here is that it juxtaposes Daryl's conversation with Carol in Find Me. Whereas Daryl insists in the cabin that he does know where he's "supposed to be," implying that he belongs with Carol, something isn't feeling right about France or the "surrogate family" (🙄) the teaser immediately cuts to after that line. I don't know the context of the next lines of VO, "I've been thinking about all the people I left behind, wondering if they're still thinking about me," and I'm not entirely sure why Daryl assumes Carol may have moved on (need I remind you of the lunch date in S11), but obviously he's homesick. And, thanks to that very unambiguous tagline, we understand why. Daryl and Carol are each other’s home. They need each other to be happy.

Needless to say, Melissa is so good in this. She doesn't need gimmicks or anything artsy to make her performance stand out. Carol's agony over Daryl is right there in her eyes, her determination to find him clear in her voice. I especially love her soft "yes" to the man I suspect will accompany her to France (you can see his reflection in the rearview mirror when Carol is in the car surrounded by walkers). He seems reluctant to take up a cause he isn't emotionally invested in, meaning he doesn't know if he wants to embark on what's bound to be a long, dangerous journey for someone he hasn't met i.e. Daryl. So basically, he's asking Carol if she would do it if she was in his position and she assures him that she would. The dialogue is a bit convoluted to stick in a teaser, but the takeaway is supposed to be that Carol will do anything to find Daryl if there's hope he's still alive. Because, of course she would. Daryl should know that, just like Carol should know he'd worry about her even if she told him not to. They love each other. They told each other they love each other. These two have a lot of insecurities to sort out when they finally reunite, and I hope we get to watch those deep conversations take place when they aren't making out.

Carol riding Daryl's bike and carrying his crossbow are nostalgic, the first reminding me of when Daryl rode out of the Commonwealth in the series finale only this time I'm not fighting the urge to hurl something at the TV. I'm actually cheering Carol on as she sets off to find him and hopefully give him a stern talking to (I let you go on our road trip alone and you end up in France??) The second is reminiscent of No Sanctuary when she finds his crossbow at Terminus, and we all know where that led. The question is how will this reunion top it? Hint: there's only one right answer.

I wonder if collecting pieces of him keeps her grounded along the way, similar to how Dog became her connecting point after she and Daryl had their big fight in Find Me/Diverged. I'd ideally like to see flashbacks of Daryl teaching Carol how to ride and/or how to use the crossbow since it's never been established that she can do either. My expectations aren't high unfortunately because history tells me TWDU loves to take shortcuts. That was particularly the case in S11 as far as Caryl were concerned. If that continues though, it's going to be a major issue for me. Don't just toss out gimmicks you think will get us talking for a bit. Don't leave out the connective tissue. Earn what you want to show us.

The title screen is an eyesore. For one thing, there are way too many fonts and for another, "Daryl Dixon" is the larger text despite the season centering on Carol. Like I said yesterday, Melissa and Norman are on equal footing. That is confirmed, but visuals like this give the appearance that Melissa/Carol carry less weight than Norman/Daryl which is complete bullshit. The original spinoff was going to be hers just as much as it was his, so why wouldn't that be the case now? That's a rhetorical question because I know the answer. It'd be really nice if AMC stopped punishing Melissa and her fans for their mistakes last year.

But to end on a positive note (I was doing so well, wasn't I?), the teaser is a good sign for Carol's/Caryl's story, and I'm excited about S2 again. With some help, I'll be keeping a close watch on how the season is marketed going forward. If the whiplash continues, if EPs keep insulting their audience, well…why stick around for it 🤷🏻‍♀️ But if hints such as that tagline persist or ramp up, we might actually be headed for explicit canon 👍🙏❤️

(I see my inbox is about to explode. I'll get to what I can tonight).

[baki-tiene-un-simp]

En lo profundo de la montaña / Deep in the mountain [Jack].

Final 2/4

~Palabras / Words~ 1.5 k

[Jack]

The simplest way to describe it is difficult; difficult to predict, difficult to deal with, difficult to read, difficult to appease and difficult to avoid. It could be because of his enormous shape that blends in with the trees, or perhaps it was his apparent disinterest in forming an opinion about people, or maybe it's just that he is easy to irritate. Be that as it may, Jack is a difficult creature in several ways.

He can't be called "evil" because he doesn't really live just to do evil, he doesn't go around being actively ruthless to anyone he encounters. Likewise, he cannot be called "good", or at least, no one tries to call him that after all the altercations resulting from his anger. It's easier to just say HE is difficult.

He watches you with disinterest when your clumsiness catches his attention, frowning as he watches your trembling figure remains on the ground as you watch him with yours -now- huge doe eyes. Jack wasn't particularly friendly to the strangers walking around making noise and disturbing his peace of mind. However, he recognized your scent from somewhere.

Well, he didn't really recognize your scent, but he remembers catching a similar smell once. He was sure of it, it was an older smell, from someone older than yours.

The frown that remained on his face did not disappear, but stopped showing annoyance, it was a mix between curiosity and confusion. Something inside him told him that something about you was strangely familiar, but different at the same time. He approached you with his face slightly tilted in an attempt to make out your facial features, you didn't move from your spot so he didn't stop. On the other hand, you didn't know who else to pray to at the moment, you were trying to remember how a word was organized when Jack crouched down close to you, apparently examining you.

“Have I seen you before?” To say you didn't shiver when you heard his voice would be lying, “Your face is different, I'm sure, but it's similar too.”

More than talking to you, Jack was thinking out loud as he analyzed you, searching for that something that made his brain curious. You heard him, by God you heard him, he was so close now; He continued talking to you with a certain familiarity, as if you had met before, even though he himself admitted that it was the first time he had seen you.

'Know me? Him to me? Is that some kind of ruse to mislead me and finish me off? Why does he keep talking as if we've met again?'

“My grandfather…” Jack tilted his head at your shaky words, the tone you used was definitely different too.

“What do you say?” His tone is rough, as if he is scolding you for not being more specific when speaking. You inevitably gulped at that.

“It's about… My grandfather,” you repeated, but they were still vague words to him, “He lives at the top…”

“Are you talking about the old man who takes care of the old house?”, you jumped in your place and for a moment you forgot your fear when you heard him, How dare this creature? “I thought the other guy was the only one who visited him”

You sighed as you calmed your mind, reminding yourself that this was a delicate situation. You nodded slowly as you pulled your legs closer to your body.

“My father used to take care of him, but… Well, he's gone. It’s my turn now” you admitted in front of him, tightening the straps of your backpack to make sure it was okay.

Jack's grimace somehow turned into a bored expression, not understanding you, “Why take care of him? He will die anyway”

“Did you…?”, you feared the worst at his statement, much worse when he stood up.

“Of course not,” you saw him roll his eyes in annoyance when you didn’t understand his words, that offended you a little, “That old man could die of old age at any moment.”

Although his words gave you relief that your grandfather was not in imminent danger right now, they did make you nostalgic. You don't want to think about him dying yet; Your grandfather was a grumpy man determined to remain alone, but you loved him and didn't want to imagine what it meant to be without him.

“Why bother caring for something that will end up dying?” Jack looked at you with disdain, as if your very purpose were absurd and useless.

“Because I love him, he's my family” you found yourself with empty eyes distant from your feelings.

“Family doesn't deserve such a sacrifice.” Jack doesn't bother to be gentle with your beliefs and feelings. “Giving so much for people who aren't committed to giving the same for you is an empty investment.”

You didn't respond instantly, although at another time you would have. Jack's tone of voice when pronouncing those words was stale, loaded with a certain resentment or an old feeling of disgust towards people or creatures you don't know, and that didn't bother you, it seemed a little sad to you. Very sad, actually.

Jack frowned at your gaze and your silence, no one had ever looked at him with such pity before and your condescending silence didn't help much either. He was an oni, a creature that was the embodiment of strength and power, when did a lesser creature feel so entitled to look at him that way? Did you feel sorry for him? Do you think he can't finish you right now?

“What is that way of looking at me?”, he scolded you with a frown.

“Your words make me sad”

Do you really know how to read the environment? Don't you realize that your words do nothing to save you from this situation? Aren't you right in the head?

“Did you go crazy?” Jack laughed unamusedly, irritated at this point.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get the family you deserved,” you lamented for him once again and he huffed angrily.

He had the family he deserved, what are you talking about? Have you not seen it well? He is a monster! A vile creature that enjoyed tormenting the unfortunate, it is the incarnation of evil… It has horns and claws like daggers, it could kill you right now.

He was everything bad, what do you mean when you say you're sorry he didn't have the family he deserved? He had! His father is the worst of the worst, a genuine punishment for a sinner like him, an exact ordeal for someone like him!

How dare you look at him and wish him better? Jack is sure he doesn't deserve it, so why do you… Simply…?

“A good family, someone who loves you,” Jack didn't even notice when you got so close, the touch of your smaller hand gave him a chill, “It's what I would have wanted for you.”

You did it wrong, maybe your words were the right ones, however, he doesn't know how to handle a person as kind as you. He is sorry. His reaction was exaggerated, he shouldn't have hit you like that, he knows you didn't deserve it. He hyperventilated and your touch burned on his skin, his hand moved very hard to push you away and when he came to himself he realized his mistake.

Jack watched you unconscious on the ground after the blow he hit you in the head, you had fallen on your back and your backpack cushioned most of the blow when you collapsed. Your forehead was bleeding from a wound, and Jack had to relive the events in his head once more before he understood that in his attempt to get you away from him he ended up hitting you too hard and causing you to be unconscious.

He was so sorry.

.

When you woke up a perfumed smell wafted around you as it brought you out of your unconscious state, your eyelids were heavy as you tried to blink to clear your vision, your hand came across a soft material as you touched your forehead to a stinging pain there.

“Don't touch the bandage, kiddo,” your grandfather's irritated mutter made you realize where you were.

“Grandpa?”, you called him doubtfully as you sat up a little as you turned towards the place where the man was serving a cup of tea.

“Shut up now,” he was surly when he approached you, offering you the cup, “Drink this, it's a ginger infusion, it will help you.”

“Grandpa, when will it arrive?”, you asked with doubt, your grandfather turned his back on you as he went to get a second tray, “I… I was still very far away.”

“I told you to shut up, you're still very weak,” he scolded you as he left a tray of food for you.

You decided not to argue with him, you knew he wouldn't give in until you ate and recovered. You coughed at the spicy taste of the brew, but your grandfather insisted that you should stop complaining and make the effort to recover.

“I found you unconscious in the front yard,” your grandfather spoke when you were eating, explaining the situation, “There were big footprints around you, I don't know how you did that to your forehead or why you were unconscious, so, don't ask any more.”

You laughed a little at your grandfather's irritated grimace, but you nodded and accepted his words. You could fill in the dots and gaps in your memory on your own, for now, you would let your grandfather take care of you.

“By the way,” you looked at him when he spoke again, “I placed an Omamori in your backpack and on your clothes. I hope, that idiot keeps his distance.”

Versión en español

[Jack]

La forma más sencilla de describirlo es difícil; difícil de predecir, difícil de tratar, difícil de leer, difícil de apaciguar y difícil de esquivar. Puede ser por su enorme forma que se confunde con los árboles, o quizás se trataba de su aparente desinterés por formar una opinión sobre las personas, o tal vez solo se trata de que es fácil de irritar. Sea como sea, Jack es una criatura difícil en varios sentidos.

No puede ser llamado “malo” porque realmente no vive solo para hacer el mal, no va por ahí siendo activamente despiadado con cualquier persona que se topa. Del mismo modo, no puede ser llamado “bueno”, o al menos, nadie trata de llamarlo así después de todos los altercados resultantes por su cólera. Es más fácil solo decir que ÉL es difícil.

Te observa con desinterés cuando tu torpeza llama su atención, frunciendo el ceño al ver tu figura temblorosa permanecer en el suelo mientras lo observas con tus -ahora- enormes ojos de gacela, Jack no era particularmente amigable con los forasteros que iban por ahí haciendo ruido y molestando su tranquilidad. Sin embargo, reconocía tu aroma de alguna parte.

Bueno, realmente no reconocía tú aroma, pero recuerda haber captado un olor similar alguna vez. Estaba seguro de ello, era un olor más añejo, de alguien de más edad que la tuya.

El ceño fruncido que mantenía su rostro no desapareció, sino que dejo de mostrar molestia, era una mezcla entre curiosidad y confusión. Algo dentro de él le decía que algo en ti era extrañamente familiar, pero diferente al mismo tiempo. Se acercó a ti con el rostro ligeramente inclinado en un intento por distinguir tus rasgos faciales, no te moviste de tu lugar, así que él no se detuvo. Por otro lado, no sabías a quién más rezarle en este momento, estabas tratando de recordar como se organizaba una palabra cuando Jack se agachó cerca de ti, aparentemente, examinándote.

“¿Te he visto antes?”, decir que no temblaste al escuchar su voz sería mentir, “Tu rostro es diferente, estoy seguro, pero es similar también”

Más que hablarte, Jack estaba pensando en voz alta al analizarte, buscando ese algo que hacía que su cerebro se volviera curioso. Lo escuchaste, por Dios que lo escuchaste, estaba tan cerca ahora; Seguía hablándote con cierta familiaridad, como si se hubieran visto antes, aun cuando él mismo ha admitido que es la primera vez que te ha visto.

’¿Conocerme? ¿Él a mí? ¿Esa es alguna clase de artimaña para que me despiste y él acabe conmigo? ¿Por qué sigue hablando como si nos hubiéramos reencontrado?’

“Mi abuelo…” Jack ladeo la cabeza ante tus temblorosas palabras, definitivamente el tono que usas es diferente también.

“¿Qué dices?”, su tono es tosco, como si te regañara por no ser más específico al hablar. Tragaste saliva inevitablemente por eso.

“Se trata de… Mi abuelo” repetiste, pero aún eran palabras vagas para él, “Él vive en la cima…”

“¿Hablas del vejestorio que cuida la vieja casa?”, saltaste en tu lugar y por un momento olvidaste tu temor al escucharlo, ¿Cómo se atreve esta criatura? “Creí que el otro sujeto era el único que lo visitaba”

Suspiraste al calmar tu mente, recordándote a ti misma que se trataba de una situación delicada. Asentiste lentamente al atraer tus piernas más cerca de tu cuerpo.

“Mi padre solía cuidar de él, pero… Bueno, él ya no está. Es mi turno ahora” admitiste frente a él, apretando las correas de tu mochila para cuidar que estuviera bien.

La mueca de Jack paso a ser de alguna forma una expresión aburrida, sin comprenderte, “¿Por qué cuidar de él? Morirá de todas formas”

“¿Acaso tú…?”, temiste lo peor ante su declaración, mucho peor cuando él se puso de pie.

“Claro que no” lo viste girar los ojos con molestia cuando no entendiste sus palabras, eso te ofendió un poco, “Ese anciano podría morir de vejez en cualquier momento”

Aunque sus palabras te dieron el alivio de que tu abuelo no estaba en peligro inminente justo ahora, si te dieron nostalgia. No quieres pensar en su muerte todavía; tu abuelo era un hombre gruñón y decidido a permanecer en soledad, pero le querías y no querías imaginar lo que significaba estar sin él.

“¿Por qué molestarse en cuidar algo que terminara muriendo?” Jack te observo con desdén, como si tu mero propósito fuera absurdo e inútil.

“Porque lo quiero, es mi familia” te encontraste con ojos vacíos y lejanos a tus sentimientos.

“La familia no merece tal sacrificio” Jack no se molesta en ser suave con tus creencias y sentimientos, “Dar tanto por personas que no tienen el compromiso de dar lo mismo por ti, es una inversión vacía”

No respondiste al instante, aunque en otro momento lo habrías hecho. El tono de voz de Jack al pronunciar esas palabras era rancio, cargado de cierto rencor o un sentimiento añejo de disgusto hacia personas o criaturas que desconoces, y eso no te molesto, te pareció un poco triste. Muy triste, en realidad.

Jack frunció el ceño ante tu mirada y tu silencio, nadie lo había mirado con tanta lástima antes y tu silencio condescendiente tampoco ayudaba mucho. Era un oni, una criatura que era la encarnación de la fuerza y el poder, ¿Cuándo una criatura inferior se sintió con tanto derecho para mirarlo de esa forma? ¿Le tenías lástima? ¿Crees que no puede acabar contigo en este momento?

“¿Qué es esa forma de mirarme?”, él te reprendió con el ceño fruncido.

“Tus palabras me dan tristeza”

¿Realmente sabes leer el ambiente? ¿No te das cuenta de que tus palabras no ayudan en nada a salvarte de esta situación? ¿Acaso no estás bien de la cabeza?

“¿Enloqueciste?” Jack se rio sin gracia, irritado en este punto.

“Lamento que no hayas tenido la familia que te merecías” te lamentaste por él una vez más y él resopló con enojo.

Él tenía la familia que se merecía, ¿de qué hablas? ¿Acaso no lo has visto bien? ¡Él es un monstruo! Una criatura vil que disfrutaba al atormentar a los malaventurados, es la encarnación del mal… Tiene cuernos y garras como dagas, podría matarte ahora mismo.

Él era todo lo malo, ¿a qué te refieres cuando dices que lamentas que él no haya tenido la familia que se merecía? ¡La tuvo! ¡Su padre es lo peor de lo peor, un genuino castigo para un pecador como él, un calvario exacto para alguien como él!

¿Cómo te atreves a mirarlo y desearle algo mejor? Jack está seguro que no se lo merece, ¿entonces por qué tú…? ¿Simplemente…?

“Una buena familia, alguien que te quiera” Jack ni siquiera noto cuando te acercaste tanto, el toque de tu mano más pequeña le dio un escalofrío, “Es lo que hubiera deseado para ti”

Lo hiciste mal, quizá tus palabras fueron las correctas, sin embargo, él no sabe como manejar a una persona tan amable como tú. Está arrepentido. Su reacción fue exagerada, no debió golpearte de esa forma, sabe que no te lo merecías. Se hiperventiló y tu toque quemaba sobre su piel, su mano se movió muy fuerte para apartarte y cuando volvió en sí mismo se dio cuenta de su error.

Jack te observo inconsciente en el suelo después del golpe que te dio en la cabeza, habías caído sobre tu espalda y tu mochila amortiguo la mayor parte del golpe cuando te desplomaste. Tu frente sangraba con una herida y Jack tuvo que revivir los sucesos en su cabeza una vez más antes de entender que en su intento por apartarte de él termino golpeándote con demasiada fuerza y causando que estuvieras inconsciente.

Estaba tan arrepentido.

.

Cuando despertaste un olor perfumado flotaba a tu alrededor al sacarte de tu estado inconsciente, tus parpados pesaban cuando trataste de parpadear para aclarar tu vista, tu mano se topó con un material suave cuando tocaste tu frente ante un dolor punzante allí.

“No toques el vendaje, mocoso” el murmullo irritado de tu abuelo te hizo darte cuenta de donde estabas.

“¿Abuelo?”, lo llamaste con duda al incorporarte un poco al voltearte hacia el lugar en donde estaba el hombre sirviendo una taza de té.

“Calla ya” fue arisco cuando se acercó a ti, ofreciéndote la taza, “Bebe esto, es una infusión de jengibre, te ayudara”

“Abuelo, ¿Cuándo llegue?”, preguntaste con duda, tu abuelo te dio la espalda al ir por una segunda bandeja, “Yo… Estaba muy lejos todavía”

“Te he dicho que te calles, todavía estás muy débil” te regaño cuando dejo una bandeja con comida para ti.

Decidiste no discutir con él, sabías que no daría su brazo a torcer hasta que comieras y te recuperaras. Tosiste ante el sabor picante de la infusión, pero tu abuelo insistió en que debes dejar de quejarte y hacer el esfuerzo para recuperarte.

“Te encontré inconsciente en el patio delantero” tu abuelo hablo cuando estabas comiendo, explicando la situación, “Había grandes huellas a tu alrededor, no sé como te hiciste eso en la frente o por qué estabas inconsciente, así que, no preguntes más”

Te reíste un poco de la mueca irritada de tu abuelo, pero asentiste y aceptaste sus palabras. Podías completar los puntos y huecos en tu memoria por tu propio pie, por ahora, dejarías que tu abuelo cuidara de ti.

“Por cierto” lo miraste cuando volvió a hablar, “Coloque un Omamori en tu mochila y en tu ropa. Espero que con eso, ese idiota mantenga la distancia”

[ch3rrycolv]

BLOODSHED; A Legacy [CHAPTER 3]

CW: Violence and death, Emotional distress, Swearing, Mature themes, Flashbacks.

CHAPTER 3

Joel drove with a sense of weary determination, his focus on the road ahead as raindrops pattered against the windshield. Beside him, Bonnie sat quietly, her gaze fixed on the blurry landscape passing by. The monotony was broken suddenly by Ellie's voice from the back of the truck.

“Oh, man.”

Joel and Bonnie both turned their heads to look at Ellie. Joel scolded her gently, “Hey, what happened to sleeping?”

Ellie held up a comic book, her face animated with excitement. “Okay, I know it doesn't look like it, but this here is not a bad read. Only one problem. Right there. 'To be continued!' I hate cliffhangers.”

Bonnie extended her hand, and Ellie obediently handed the comic over. After a few moments of flipping through it, Bonnie asked, “Where did you get this?”

Ellie shrugged nonchalantly. “Uhh, back at Bill's. I mean, all this stuff was just lying there!”

Joel sighed, glancing briefly at Bonnie before focusing back on the road. “What else did you get?”

“Well…” Ellie dug through her bag and pulled out a cassette, holding it up to Joel. “Here. This make you all nostalgic?”

A small smile tugged at Joel's lips. “Y'know, this is actually before my time. That is a winner though.”

As Ellie popped the cassette into the player, country music began to play. Both Joel and Bonnie's interest in the cassette quickly waned.

“Oh, man…” Bonnie sighed, her gaze drifting out the window.

Ellie remained optimistic. “Well, better than nothing.” She continued rummaging through the back of the truck. “Oh, I'm sure 'your friend' will be missing this tonight.” With a mischievous grin, she pulled out a porno magazine.

“Mh-hm.” Neither Joel nor Bonnie seemed particularly bothered.

“Light on the reading, but it's got some interesting photos.”

Joel, scandalized, glanced at Bonnie, then back at Ellie, trying to reason with her. “Now, Ellie, that ain't for kids.”

Ignoring Joel's advice, Ellie flipped through the magazine until she found something surprising. “Whoa. How...how the hell would he even walk around with that thing?”

“Get rid of that. Just—” Joel reached for it, but Ellie kept going.

“Hold your horses. I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”

Bonnie, clearly uncomfortable, muttered, “Disgusting.”

Ellie seemed to pause for a moment, then grinned mischievously. “Oh...why are these all stuck together?”

“Disgusting!” Bonnie groaned, while Joel struggled to find the right words, nervously eyeing Ellie through the rearview mirror.

“Um…”

Ellie chuckled at their discomfort. “I'm just messing with you.” She rolled down the window and tossed the magazine out of the car. “Bye-bye, dude.”

After a few moments, Ellie lay back, stretching out on the truck bed. “You know what? This isn't that bad.”

“Why don't you try and get some sleep, alright?” Joel suggested.

Ellie lifted her head, looking defiant. “Pft -- I'm not even tired.” But within ten minutes, she was fast asleep, her earlier energy completely drained.

Joel glanced at Bonnie, his expression thoughtful. “Hey, uh, kid, what did Bill say back there? Before we left.”

Bonnie met his gaze wearily. “Nothing relevant.”

Joel sighed, his curiosity evident. “I know it’s none of my business. I'm just curious...” He shrugged. “He seemed to know you.”

Bonnie hesitated before replying, her tone guarded. “You weren’t the only one with a past back in Boston.”

“Oh, I know. I just didn’t think he had dealings with anyone else from back in Boston.”

They sat in silence for a while until Bonnie broke it. “I had to make a living somehow, but he knew my mom better than he knew me.”

“Your mom?” Joel asked softly, sensing this was a rare moment of openness from her. “You left her behind in Boston?”

“Oh no, she’s dead. Has been for quite some time.”

“Right,” Joel acknowledged quietly, focusing back on the road ahead. “Well, you should get some rest, kiddo. It’s a long ride to where we’re going.”

“Right.” Bonnie nodded, her eyes turning to the passing landscape as the truck rumbled onward to Tommy’s.

➵

“Mommy, where are we going?” Bonnie hid behind her mother’s legs.

In front of her stands her mother, a figure of strength and determination, just outside the fortified walls of the Quarantine Zone. Bonnie's small hand tightly grips her mother's as they approach a weather-beaten building, the scent of rain mingling with the faint sense of gloom that always seemed to surround Bill.

They enter the building, her mom and Bill engaging in rapid conversation not before Bill secured the entrance. Bonnie watches with wide-eyed innocence, not quite understanding the gravity of their conversation but sensing the seriousness in her mother's voice. 

They grow quiet after a while, Bill stepping away to collect something from his pack. “Mommy, who is that man?” Bonnie whispers, her voice barely audible over the distant rumble of the storm outside.

"He's an old friend, sweetheart," her mother replies softly, her hand squeezing Bonnie's reassuringly.

“Like the man back home?” She referred to the man that she, unknowingly, had helped her mother scam in the QZ market. 

Her mother looked puzzled, “Not quite, Honey.”

A young Bill nods solemnly as he listens. His eyes briefly flicker towards Bonnie, who peers up at him with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension.

“Well here’s the supplies, you can check-” Bill hands Bonnie’s mother a back bag. “10 fentanyl, 10 hydrocodone, 10 morphine, and 5 vicodin.”

"Why don't you hold onto this for me, Baby?" Her mother passed her the bag, looking for something in her own pack. 

“Sure! Make the kid hold on to the multiple pain drugs.”

“Oh, shut it, Bill,” Bonnie’s mother retorted, her tone laced with a mix of familiarity and playful banter. She held out a cassette towards him with a teasing grin. “Anyway, here’s that cassette you were whining about. Didn’t take you for a punk rock enthusiast, but whatever.”

Bill straightened up at the sight of the cassette, his gruff demeanor softening slightly as he reached out to take it, handling it with unexpected care before pocketing it with a nod of acknowledgment. “It’s none of your business anyway.”

Bonnie’s mother smiled knowingly, her gaze flicking between Bill and her daughter. “Always a pleasure doing business with you, Bill.” She took the bag from Bonnie’s hands, efficiently packing everything up and motioning towards the exit of the building.

“C’mon Honey, it’s time to go home.”

➵

“Wake up!”

“I’m up, what?!” Bonnie looked around, noticing Joel was driving progressively slower. “where are we?”

Joel looked at her, “Pittsburgh.”

Ellie looked at the both of them, “Never been.”

Bonnie turned and looked at her, “Figured.” she said disinterestedly.

They continued driving for a few minutes before Joel stooped up in his seat frantically, “Oh, no, no, no, no. Well, perfect.” He sat back, disappointed at the freeway being clogged up with abandoned cars.

Ellie poked her head through the front seats, “now what?”

Bonnie took out a map out of her bag, flipping it a couple times,”We should take the long rout, just turn back-”

“Screw it,” Joel continues down the turnpike passing the abandoned streets, even passing the suspiciously empty QZ. 

The drive was going seemingly smoothly until Joel hit the break abruptly, “Easy.” Ellie stressed. 

A man started limping towards them, “Please… help…”

Ellie poked her head again, “Holy shit... Are we going to help him?” Bonnie turned to look at her with a sudden seriousness, “Ellie, put your seatbelt on.”

“Help me…” The man kept groaning and moaning as he limped closer and closer. 

“What about the guy?” Ellie worried. 

Joel’s eyes darkened, “Oh, he ain't even hurt.”

He pressed the gas, driving at a high speed towards the “injured” man. Said man pulled out a gun, shooting at the incoming truck. As Joel swerved the group found out it wasn't just one guy, but a dozen. Brick and bullets rained on them until a whole nother truck crashed into them, sending them flying into an abandoned store. 

They frantically escaped after getting rid of, killing, some crazed hunters, coming across a garage filled with bodies and inventory lists that gave away the fact that those people were killed merely for the purpose of replacing some hunter’s shoes. 

They continued walking through the city until the herd hunters approached, “Where did you learn to shoot?”

“Man, screw you.”

“You had an entire flock and hit nothing.”

“I'm about to hit you.”

“Wow...yeah, you're really upset. Well if you want some lessons, I'm more than willing to help you out.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Ellie turned to Bonnie as the trio hid behind a car, “These guys just love to talk huh?-”

Bonnie gave her a sharp glare through her peripheral vision spitting out a subtle “Shut up”. Joel not even paying her any mind.

Ellie was the first to stand up after the hunters left, “Hey, we can climb the bus right here. Okay, we need to lighten the mood. Ready? It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope -- it'll still be stationary.”

Joel and Bonnie looked at each other, him sighing, “What is that?”

Ellie smiled, looking proud at herself, “A joke book. No Pun Intended: Volume Too by Will Livingston.”

“Get that from Bill’s too?” Bonnie asked with a clear tone of sarcasm. 

Joel said, “Let's just keep going.” 

"What did they use to drink with? Cups. Dixie cups." "I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap." "A book just fell on my head. I only have myself to blame." Oh wait, I said it wrong. Hold on, let me read it again. "A book just fell on my head...I only have my shelf to blame." Heh...ruined it. "What is the leading cause of divorce in long-term marriages? A stalemate."

Ellie kept reading horrible jokes from her funny book, eventually growing tired of it. The three of them progressed into an old quarantine zone. Dispatching all of the hunters they come across with. 

“That was too damn close.” Joel sighed after killing the last hunter.

“The edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive.”

He turned to Ellie, confused, “Excuse me?”

“Savage Starlight. That comic I've been reading? It's what the hero says after a big battle.”

“Corny,” Teased Bonnie. Ellie looked at her, placing a hand over the right side of her chest. 

“I am not.”

“Yes you are. You are also an idiot, your heart is on the left side not the right.” She took hold of Ellie's arm, moving Ellie's palm to where her heart actually was. 

She went ahead of both Joel and Ellie to look for more hunters, leaving a blushing Ellie behind, “I'm not an idiot!”

Ellie and Joel entered the flooded street, quieting down as they spotted Bonnie crouched behind a car, her finger over her lips.

“Sh… They are leaving.”

They waited a few moments. Eventually the hunters left, joel, bonnie and ellie waiting a few minutes before taking the same path as the hunters. 

They crossed rooms, killing both hunters and infected until they had to climb an unstable elevator. 

“You find us something to climb on. Okay, here we go.”

Ellie looked at them both apprehensively, climbing with Joel's help only after getting a reassuring nod from Bonnie. As Joel is boosting her up, the lift fails. Taking Joel and Bonnie with it. 

Bonnie barely had time to scream as the lift beneath her gave way, sending her plummeting through a cloud of dust and debris. She hits a metal beam, separating her from Joel and  landing her hard on a creaking bed frame two floors down, the impact jarring her to the core. The ceiling above her groaned ominously, threatening to collapse on top of her.

determined, Bonnie pushed herself up, her body protesting with every movement. She took a deep breath, steadying herself as she assessed her surroundings.

Clutching her small pistol, Bonnie moved cautiously towards the doorway, her senses on high alert. The hallway beyond was eerily quiet, the silence broken only by the distant sounds of the hunters lurking somewhere in the building.

Moving quickly, she made her way towards the stairwell at the end of the hall. The metal door creaked as she pushed it open, revealing a narrow staircase leading up. She began her ascent, each step taken with deliberate caution to avoid making noise.

Halfway up the stairs, Bonnie heard the unmistakable voices of hunters. She froze, pressing herself against the wall and listening intently.

“Search the rooms! They’ve got to be around here somewhere,” one of the hunters barked.

Heart pounding, Bonnie knew she couldn’t afford to be caught. She needed a plan. Scanning her surroundings, she noticed a small broom closet nearby. She slipped inside, closing the door just enough to keep an eye on the hunters without being seen.

 When the hunters finally passed her hiding spot, she slipped out silently and began to creep up to each one of them, clearing out the entire floor. 

As she moved up the stairs, reaching the next floor, Bonnie found herself in another dimly lit corridor.

She carefully opened a door to one of the rooms, hoping to find a way through. Inside, she stilled for a few moments before hearing a gun being shot. 

Following the noise she stumbled into a room that contained a distressed Ellie holding a gun that she got god knows where, Joel on the floor barely breathing and a guy, probably a hunter, on the floor holding his knee. 

“Please!I’ll do anything!”

Bonnie ran to the guy first, yanking his head up by his hair before hitting him square in the face with the back of his gun, then shooting a bullet through his brain as a precaution. 

Ellie, breathlessly, said, “Man, you shot the hell out of that guy, huh?” Looking at Bonnie wearily. 

Joel kneels, finally catching his breath, “yeah, she did.” He stands up, taking the pistol out of Ellie's hand, “Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?”

Ellie looks at him at a loss of words, “Well, you're glad I didn't, right?”

“I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a goddamn kid.”

“Joel-”

“You know what? No. How about "Hey, Ellie. I know it wasn't easy, but it was either him or me, thanks for saving my ass." You got anything like that for me, Joel?”

They all still for a moment, giving Joel time to process his thoughts, “We gotta get going.”

Ellie, clearly hurt, tries to look for comfort for Bonnie, at least, only to find the girl had already moved on. “Lead the way.”

They move on, clearing street after street full of hunters, so full that they decide its best to just climb through the building. 

They finally seem to find an empty one, only to find a happy little surprise on the other side. 

“Oh, shit.” A young man grabs Joel, clearly trying to kill him. Joel overpowers him and gives him some gut punches. 

“Joel!” 

“Wait! Wait!” 

Bonnie breaks up Joel and the guy attacking them, “Joel, stop! Look.”

They see a kid nearby with a gun.

➵

The man and the kid, Henry and Sam.  ended up not being that much of a threat. As soon as Henry, the older brother, realized that Joel wasn’t just another hunter he put his walls down, even offering for the five of them to continue crossing the city together. 

They eventually managed to escape through another old quarantine zone, not before Joel almost drowned, and they advanced to the old radio tower, setting up a place to sleep. 

Morning brought a brief respite. The smell of Henry's cooking momentarily lifted their spirits. Ellie broke the silence.

"Damn. That smells good," she remarked, trying to inject a sense of normalcy.

"Good morning," Joel grunted, his exhaustion evident.

"Where's Sam?" Ellie asked, noticing his absence.

"I let him sleep in," Henry replied, a rare moment of parental leniency in their harsh reality.

Ellie nodded, concerned, flickering across her face. "Oh."

"If you want him up, go wake his ass," Henry joked weakly.

"Okay," Ellie agreed reluctantly, heading to Sam's room.

Bonnie got up from where she slept beside Joel, picking up her pack, taking inventory of all her weapons. 

"Sam? Sam!" Ellie called out, but her voice was met with Bonnie's sudden alarm.

"What the hell?"

In a flash, Sam lunged at Ellie, his eyes wild with aggression.

"Shit! He's turning!" Joel shouted, reacting too late. Bonnie rose to action, pulling out her pistol immediately. 

Henry fired a warning shot. "That's my brother!"

"Sam!" Ellie cried out, her shock echoing through the room.

Joel acted swiftly, firing a fatal shot to save Ellie from Sam's attack.

"Oh, shit..." Ellie gasped, the reality sinking in.

"Ellie? You okay?" Bonnie voiced amidst the chaos.

"Yeah... Oh my god," Ellie stammered, trying to process what had happened.

"Sam?" Henry's voice cracked with grief.

"Oh no..."

"Sam..."

Joel took charge, his voice commanding. "Henry. Ellie, stay here. Henry."

"Henry, what have you done?" Ellie's voice trembled with fear and confusion.

"I'm gonna take that gun, okay?" Joel's tone was firm, trying to prevent more tragedy.

"Sa... Sa... Sam..." Henry struggled to speak.

"Easy," Joel urged, trying to calm Henry down.

"It's your fault," Henry accused bitterly.

"No one's to blame, Henry," Joel reasoned calmly.

"It's all your fault!"

"Henry! No..." Joel pleaded, but Henry turned the gun on himself.

"Oh my god," Ellie whispered, stunned by the sudden turn of events.

➵

The gray walls of the Quarantine Zone loomed around them as Bonnie and her mother navigated the crowded market. The air was thick with the scent of decay and desperation, mixed with the distant cries of traders. Bonnie clutched her mother's hand tightly, her eyes wide with a mix of curiosity and fear.

"Mommy, where are we going now?" Bonnie asked quietly.

Her mother smiled down at her, though her eyes were hard. "Just a little errand, sweetheart. Stay close to me."

They approached a makeshift stall where a man stood, his face gaunt and eyes darting nervously. Bonnie's mother greeted him with a warm smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Good afternoon," she said smoothly. "I hear you have a communication device for trade?"

The man nodded, his gaze shifting between Bonnie and her mother. "Yeah, it's a working radio. Hard to come by these days."

"A working radio, you say? That's quite a find." Her mother leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "But you know, I've heard there's been some damaged merchandise going around. Mind if I take a closer look?"

The man hesitated but eventually handed over the radio. Bonnie watched as her mother expertly examined it, her fingers turning it over with practiced ease, her expression a mask of scrutiny.

"Hmm, this seems a bit off," her mother remarked, shaking her head slightly. "I'm afraid this might be broken, you know i don't take merchandise in bad condition"

The man's eyes widened in panic. "No, I swear it's good! I got it from a reliable source!"

Her mother sighed, the sound tinged with false sympathy. "Look, I'm not saying you're lying, but I can't take the risk. How about this? I'll give you half of what we agreed on, just in case."

The man's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine," he muttered, handing over the radio. Bonnie's mother quickly exchanged it for a handful of ration cards, her movements smooth and efficient. Bonnie noticed the slight smirk on her mother’s face as she handed over the fake ration cards.

As they walked away, Bonnie looked up at her mother with wide eyes. "Mommy, why did you say his radio was broken? It looked good to me."

Her mother squeezed Bonnie's hand, her smile cold and calculating. "Sometimes, sweetheart, people need a push to make the right decisions. It's about doing whatever it takes to stay alive."

Bonnie nodded slowly, not fully understanding but feeling a chill run down her spine.