#i don't even have a kid of my own yet
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Every year I think I'm immune to the Christmas story, and every year I'm wrong.
#i know we talk so much about how much God loves us#how he even gave his son#but it only hit me TODAY how big of a thing that is#there are people i'd be willing to give my life for#but would i send someone i love to die?#i don't think i could do that#my own life i could give#but could i give someone else's life? even someone who was willing?#could i be trusted to give my child?#i don't even have a kid of my own yet#but thinking about being an aunt has awakened a lot of latent mothering instincts and tendencies that i kinda squelched#and this Christmas Jesus coming as a baby has a whole new meaning#this kid isn't even going to be my own#but i already have so much intense love for him or her#and could i give this child i've never even met for someone else...even someone i loved and would die for myself#even knowing that this child (even after he or she was an adult) would agree to do it?#i couldn't do it#but God did that#different things in different seasons just hit in new ways#how can we even begin to appreciate God's love for us?
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OC lineup! All the characters that currently exist in this "story"
#oeyä ayskxawngtsyìp#some small details may be subject to change#others might also be added to the “story” later#for example a while ago I was thinking maybe Rolukx and Se'txelu also have a sister because why not#tentatively named her Mingal and she'd be a teenager in the default timeline#(for reference at that time Se'txelu and Neynari are in their early 20s and Rolukx in his late 20s)#but she doesn't have a particular design yet and I haven't decided on many details#me being me i will also prooooobably give Neynari and Se'txelu some kids of their own at some point but again so specific ideas just yet#maybe even give rolukx a love interest#for personal reasons i can't decide whether it would be more cathartic to give him one or to not give him one#idk we'll see#also btw since this is chibi style don't take it as a 100% accurate height comparison lol#fwiw on that front I think Seylana and Neynari are a bit shorter than average#Rolukx is slightly taller than average#and everyone else is pretty solidly Average™ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also for those who didn't catch it in my previous post about these guys: Awlun is Lunaya's aunt (Awlun's brother is Lunaya's father)#hence the shared surname#also Seylana is not naturally blond; she started coloring her hair after Neynari was born to match her daughter#(there are canon Aranahe characters with hair like this such as Sa'nop and Nilngan)#(and yes I suspect it's artifical color because the tail tufts are still black. hence Seylana's tail tuft still being her natural color too#ANYWAYS#yeah#my art#neynari#se'txelu#rolukx#seylana#vontxu#awlun#lunaya
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imagining the story from pei ming's perspective is rlly funny i think. this god from all that time ago ascends again (you were there for the first two times) and immediately waltzes into a situation that fucks something up for your descendant (putting both of your reputations on the line, messing up how hard your descendant worked to become a god and how hard you worked to ensure that he would have that chance) and then refuses to let you smooth the situation out and on TOP of that your friend's little sister (who hates you and who you are trying to look out for by request of your friend) is on your case about it too. so you've gotta work all that out and then like. you chill for a little bit (still kind of upset about your descendant) until your friend undergoes a heavenly calamity. and then in the space of like A Day the god from earlier shows up again with a fucking ghost king, your friend dies, the little sister you're supposed to be looking out for disappears, and everything just kinda goes to shit. so you're like. grieving. trying to process everything. until your OTHER close friend goes off the fucking rails with the spirit of that guy she murdered, and then you get called out to the spooky ghost mountain where you're confronted with the girl whose death YOU were essentially responsible for and have never really come to terms with, and then like. you just kind of hang out with these gay people until everything resolves itself. fight some ghosts. fight the heavenly emperor. get your friend to stop being evil for a little while so she can fix the filing systems. and then you just have to keep being the god of love i guess
#characters who are so related and yet so unrelated to the story my beloveds#is he really necessary to the story. no! he's so essential to me though#nobody talks about the tragedy of the three tumors... i know it's cause they're awful but c'mon guys...#these three people who only have each other... pei ming losing both of them one after another in their own way...#i think he's probably pretty chill about ling wen being evil. i don't remember how he responds but i don't think he's that worried.#but still. that's two for two on the 'people i care about getting fucked up somehow' list#and then the kid that you're supposed to be emergency older brother to fucking DISAPPEARS.#so you can't even follow through on your promise to your dead friend...#shaking my computer. do you all understand how i feel#pei ming posting tonight. so many thoughts but so little expressed in the pei ming posting#too sleempy... will return to thoughts later#i am going to become the pei ming poster of all time. just watch me#talking#tgcf#pei ming#tian guan ci fu
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#mortal kombat#mortal kombat mythologies#sub zero#bi han#scorpion#hanzo hasashi#you don't have an idea how much i think about sub zero and scorpion backstories#how similar yet different those are#bi han who never had a choice as he was chosen by lin kuei when he was a kid and his own father forced him into assassin life#most likely killing bi han's mother and the youngest sister to ensure lin kuei clan will get what it wanted#and hanzo who was told by his father to not joining the assassin clan and have a normal (safe) life#but he did so for the quick money (the desire to afford his wife and son the finest in life)#even though we don't know if it was even anything “harumi” wanted in the first place and not just a honest quiet life with beloved husband#free from having a blood on his hands and death around#it is the no choice vs choice dichtomy those two had i miss the most#but also god damn at the twist in perception of sub zero and scorpion that changed drastically#especially now with mk1 kicking out both of those in favor of kuai liang being the “better” scorpion AND better son/brother at the same tim#i miss you my original tragedy (bi han) and walking disaster (hanzo)
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#Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#Mmmmmhhh#I had to step away and do something very quick after watching the episode so now I'm afraid I forgot all of it lol#Okay thoughts:#I'm afraid I'll keep saying this every time. Do not. Give me. An amv opening. Don't do that. Postpone your airing date. I don't care#I feel like I wasn't as pissed with it when they did that for s3 but it's probably a case of the s3 opening at least looked somewhat–#better (??) + you can make a mistake once but don't think I will let it slip a second time#Other than that... To be fair this episode was animated fairly well. I think you can really notice a big quality drop after the–#Ranpo-realizing-who-Kamui-is sequence but overall it's more than okay.#The colours of the ship irk me a little but to be fair I never thought colours were b/sd anime strong point...#This episode was sooooooo political in so many ways I could literally talk about it for hours#(don't test me I'm not kidding. Talking about politics in anime for hours is something I've done in the past and will do in the future.)#(Then again I study/think/breathe politics pretty much 24/7 so is that really surprising... )#I need to write an essay on Fukuchi's speech alone. The public speech communication techniques [redacted Italian politics comment].#The way he's welcomed [redacted eu parliament comment]. Unfortunately I don't have time for it but breaking it down very quickly#1. Suggesting to unify defences worldwide is INSANE. No one would ever take it. Probably going to be cynical here but there's one (1) thing#states care about and it's the independence of their own sovereignty (that is: no one has the right to come and tell what must be done–#within one's borders). Eu has been trying to do exactly that (unify defences) for decades to no avail. Nato is on the brink of crumbling–#down. It's just... Such a distant perspective from how the world works right now? Idk.#Which brings me to 2. Even if it's deeply inconsistent with how world politics work the bsd un perspective is still very coherent with–#a latter thesis brought up in the manga that is “countriest tend to merge and come together” which is. Very anti-historical if you ask me–#but idk. Beautiful to imagine I suppose.#What else uhm... I liked the drawings this episode... Even Atsushi was back being pretty at some points... (Generally not really a fan of–#what the style in the later seasons came to be). Also 55 Minutes reference ‼‼‼#I like Fukuchi's character so much......... I love idealist characters... And the inherent loneliness... The longing... The yearning!!!!!!#I love him so. Oh and I LOVED Akutagawa. I thought his entrance wouldn't have impacted me after all this time (and after knowing–#what episode 3 will be lol). And yet it was such an emotional moment!!!! What do you mean Atsushi is scared to be alone and Akutagawa is–#coming for him!!!!!! I'm crying all my tears. And Akutagawa was so cool in the end!!! By heart was beating so fast!!!!!#It's the etheral blurred light...#The way he still manages to come off so cool despite being inherently pathetic is nothing short to miraculous
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actually wait in relation to the last post about ghibli and how it is aestheticized into bland and toothless images of comfort, it's got me thinking abt Ursula K Le Guin again
The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain. If you can’t lick ’em, join ’em. If it hurts, repeat it. But to praise despair is to condemn delight, to embrace violence is to lose hold of everything else. We have almost lost hold; we can no longer describe a happy man, nor make any celebration of joy.
(from The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, 1973, top of pg.2)
i think that the original post is guilty of this to a degree, seeking to refute the idiocy and simplicity of focusing on the "happy" themes of ghibli movies my instead shifting attention to the horrors and pains contained within the text—those which could be seen as intellectual, needing perhaps a more sophisticated understanding of environmentalism and geopolitics.
but, furthermore, i think i'm guilty of it even in trying to defend miyazaki's often returning narrative commitment to hope and environmentalism and anti-war sentiment and kindness—after the last tag, i wanted to add something about "i know that putting kindness above pursuit of power feels like a baby theme for babies" because it Does, to me. "be kind" is, like, the first and simplest rule most of us are taught as children, be kind, don't hit your brother, be kind, share, be kind.
i don't refer to this as one of his more challenging themes, of course, because why should i? we all know to be kind. of course, i refer only to topics of war and environmentalism and grief as challenging. kindness is simple!
(nevermind that one of the biggest challenges for myself and a lot of people i know is how to stop being cruel to oneself after decades of practice and learned examples and instead to learn to be kind and forgiving with one's own mistakes and failures and perceived flaws)
and i wonder two things: 1) is it possible that the self-aestheticization of miyazaki's movies (for example, the rapturous visual attention paid to food, the attention paid to soft chairs, pillows, small and pleasantly cluttered environments, with plenty of natural light, lush plantlife and endearing creatures) contribute to miyazaki's more "challenging" messages, and if so, that there's a degree of success in people remembering the thick-cut bacon and eggs on toast from Howl's Moving Castle before they think of Sophie Hatter's town on fire because of the king's war? Has Hayao Miyazaki succeeded in making war and destruction at once horrifying and banal, but a simple good breakfast fascinating and compelling? ——not to say that people who simplify the movie to Only the aesthetics are right. they still aren't. they exist in dialogue with the destruction and it's ridiculous to sever the two. but is it possible that the majority of people thinking first of the "cozy" elements of Studio Ghibli's work is not nonintellectual and reductive, but rather contributes to a larger point of attention?
2) i ought to find other examples of media which do not treat "happy" themes or "light" themes—(i struggle even to talk about the category i mean without dismissing it entirely as Simple, or mischaracterizing it. i mean things like kindness over power and compassion over fear, things like that) which do not treat the themes as childish or nonintellectual, but also do so without fetishizing violence and suffering as Special and More Deserving of Thought than Simple and Stupid Good Feelings so that i can kind of investigate this concept a little more
#rare personal post#this may perhaps be influenced by having watched frankie and johnny last night which i believe may be of the type of movie im seeking#for this media exercise anyway LMFAO#because it was a complicated and realistic movie i think which handled with deft touch the like.#terror of being alone vs the terror of being loved—hypothetically simple in theory. in practicality: the nightmare of opening yourself up#all without fetishizing or even showing in gratuitous detail the suffering that lead to the characters fear of the love which they want#(frankie from johnny—intimate partners in general—and johnny from his kids)#this is not to say i don't like stories which depict or even fetishize suffering i absolutely fucking do BUT#ever since i read omelas as a hs senior i've been aware of my own tendency to consider suffering intellectual and happiness stupid#and am trying to challenge that whenever possible#anyway this post exists mainly as notes to myself but if anyones reading it and hasn't read The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas yet.#do that some time! its four pages long and it's a really excellent thought exercise#this whole thing i think might be tangentially related to my “are true anti war movies possible?” project#post is unreblogabble bc like said its just notes for me 💖 media recommendations welcome tho#developing project
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Just finished the show a few days ago, so that's why I'm only just posting this now.
#also yes PB is problimatic but so are a lot of the other characters & i don't care#lady reinacorn would probably be higher in her category if i understood what she was saying but unfortunately i don't#tier list#adventure time#adventure time tier list#magic man is where he is because he became normal man otherwise he'd be in the last category#cinnamon bun is only where he is due to his character growth in the flame kingdom before that he would have been in the meh category#lsp is where she is coz i actually find her funny#hope tier 3 lemongrab is meant to be the 3rd version because I like him the best out of all the lemongrabs#sweet pea wasn't on there but i would probably put him before or after fern#root beer guy is only where he is because I like what they did with him when he got resurrected#speaking of which cherry sods should be on here to & if she was I'd probably place her before him#as her reaction to his death & resurrection was super interesting#just realised that starchy isn't on here either i think I'd place him before mr pig#on reflection I'd put the cosmic owl in the 3rd category after prismo#i haven't watched distant lands or fiona & cake yet so please no spoilers#tiffany is where he is because i find him funny even though he is always hating on my boy finn#upon reflection I actually find amo quite interesting (still annoying though)#with his desperate need to be loved without the ability to give it in return#& how no amount of affection would probably ever have been enough#like talk about depressing#on second thought i'd actually put Grob/Gob/Glob Grod in the cool powers but lack of personality category#ash actually belongs in the worst category coz how he gonna do my girl marcy like that#& Jake's alien dad should actually be in the crazy threat category#coz he straight up travels to different dimensions to make kids so he can drain them of their powers & then leave them to die#& wanted to do the same to his grandkids like that's some next level evil#recardio should really have is own category as while he is kind of threat (he did kidnap finn & jake & beat up lady that one time)#his just not scary like people in the crazy threat category are (more just creepy/weird/gross & annoying)
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#RIP to the legacy post editor. you will be missed. while queueing this post and the last one it's removed the option for me to switch to the#old one and is making me use the new one. which is like not bad. it's not a bad editor. i just don't like change as most tumblr users don't#it also just appends the post you make directly to the top of the currently-displayed posts behind it even if it's not meant to go there#which is a little bit scary when i'm on the queue page and i click “add to queue” for a post that's supposed to go up on august 18th#to see it immediately appear above mega metagross. the legacy post editor didn't do that. it made you refresh the page if you wanted to see#your own new post on the dashboard. which i think was better!! honestly!! i've never Made a post using the new editor to see how it behaves#only ever queued up FFP using this thang. but that's also bc i feel like i don't post very much. i need smth Interesting to say when i post#on my main blog i mean. i don't make extraneous posts on here (usually) unless i'm answering an ask or something. which. still have yet to#miss one to this day. going strong#bibarel#can you tell idk what to say about this guy. what are they‚ water-type? big chance i'm fucking wrong and they're just pure normal#OKAY i was right. normal/water. semi-interesting typing and i get why they're a water-type. but. i never use. bibarel. even as a kid who#didn't understand or care about competitive. i knew bibarel was not very strong. it's a route 1 normal-type fucker. and maybe it's like#better than i think or something but tbqh it's a sinnoh 'mon and i already have another sinnoh water-type that has my heart. buizel#so bibarel was not so much in the cards for me. bro i should do like. a mono-type run of a pokémon game one day. that would be fu#do folks do that? is that a challenge run that actually exists? nuzlockes exist so i don't see why not. okay i'm doing it. my next replay o#any pokémon game is hereby decreed to be a water-type mono-type run. i may or may not liveblog it on my main blog#and it may or may not be nuzlocke. we shall see#hell maybe i'll stream it. maybe that could be fun. i don't know of *anyone* who would be interested in that but it tends to help me#actually go about completing games when i have someone there like. waiting for me to do so
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#ohhhhhh my fucking god. omg. omg#i really need to learn to trust my own instincts about people#there's this dude - let's call him biff - who lives in my city#he's always been very consistent about staying in touch with me over the years even though we don't really have any shared interests#i met him when he was dating this girl i was friends with. then they broke up & he wanted to hang out with me#then he started dating someone else & they got married and had a kid#and after a while he stopped messaging me (fine by me)... UNTIL#i posted on fb the other day that i was starting the process of quitting everything Meta#and that people should comment if they wanted my contact info elsewhere#after making this post i thought 'hmmm maybe i should have restricted the audience to the only people i actually WANT to stay in touch with'#but it was too late. biff had already messaged me and asked for my number#stupidly i gave it to him. he (a german) joked 'still no german number i see?'#(it is clearly a german number. also i live in fckn germany. and have done so for 7 years. how the hell would i not have a german number?)#then he realized that & added me on whatsapp (kinda silly bc i explicitly said i'm going to quit the whole metaverse eventually but oh well)#first message: 'how u doing?' this man is in his 40s and has still never learned to type properly#second message: he said that he (singular) had recently moved to a new apartment and was not doing great#which makes me think that maybe he's gotten divorced and that's why he's suddenly so eager to reach out to me again#and he added apropos nothing 'but the good thing is that now i'll finally get to see the harry potter movies!'#ummm... great? fuck that transphobe but have fun i guess? what a weird thing to mention#third message was - just fucking WAIT FOR IT - 'what do u think about what's going on in the US recently? are you planning on going back?'#if y'all know me by now you know that this kind of question drives me bonkers#so i replied 'no i'm never going back. i live in germany. kinda sick of people asking me that. I LIVE HERE'#and i just... godddd my intuition is so depressingly good sometimes.#the moment his name popped up in my messages i had this sinking feeling of 'why did i give him my contact info'#and then what do you know... in his next two messages alone there were at least three minor red flags#NOTE TO SELF: TRUST YOUR FUCKING INSTINCT#why haven't i learned this yet? i do not need a 'valid reason' to softly let someone slip out of my life#cosmo gyres#personal#tag rant
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I'm bored and can't sleep because of cramps so I decided to mess around with an incorrect quotes generator using the latest OCs @katkastrofa and I created that I unfortunately cannot talk about in detail here because I'd get nerfed in an instant:










#idk how in character most of these are since we don't have too good a grasp on their personalities yet#they've literally existed for a day#but I tried my best and think most of them are rather fitting#the last one is easily my favourite lmao#you know. considering what this blog used to be five years ago...#does this count as going back to my roots?#(say it with me now. silt and murk giving birth to something beautiful)#(that being my friendship with kat <3)#'but nia you and kat already have 29 OCs of your own creation. 31 if you count the adopted ones and 34 if you count Midori's unnamed kids!'#'maybe you should slow your roll a little?? you're on track to having created 20 OCs this year alone and it's not even September!'#'most of them are never even gonna feature in a fic or anything but the convos you and kat have! why bother?'#because I'm mentally ill and my life is falling apart and the only thing that helps me function is what kat and I have#the multiverse of madness included#also I have chronic 'I'm gonna spin these little guys in my head for hours >:)' disease#and there's no cure#hope this helps :)#lmao idk what to talk about in these tags since idk how much I'm allowed to say#both because of the ban and because I'm not 18 yet#idk how much difference a month actually makes but eh. those rules aren't up to me unfortunately#it's 5 a.m I should go to bed#I need to get my sleep schedule at least semi normal before Monday#:(
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#this is me just screaming into the void#but this week has been hard. like one of the hardest weeks I've had to get through in the longest time#tues was my great grandma's 12th anniversary of her passing#wed I got the news that a friend passed away suddenly#thurs was my late father's birthday#fri was that friend's funeral but I can't go#and there's a whole host of other things going on in my family now that I cannot put out into the internet just yet#personally I'm just so so tired#I am not spiralling. At least I don't feel like I am. but it's been so hard#I cannot turn to my family because of whatever's going on right now#I can't really turn to my friends just yet because my emotions are still percolating#my only consolation and also burden is that I will be away for a wedding soon and after that my last big trip for 2024#I feel so spread thin right now#I actually sat in the car with my sausage McMuffin crying to Hao's Haicheng and Woozi's What Kind of Future this morning#it's the first time I cried like that in a long while because I rarely let myself get to that point#idek why I am writing this#I think I just wanted to scream into the void for a bit#gab irl#thing is with the friend that just passed; he was part of the party crowd I used to run with#we are all kinda spread all over now -- some moved back to their own countries; some married and moved; some with kids...#we haven't partied together since before the pandemic#we kept talking about wanting to link up soon and catch up#I had even been thinking about him lately#and now he is gone and I do not have the place to pour my grief and my regrets into
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"For Yaoi Reasons"
Are You One Of Those
fuckkk what the fuck what the fuckkk
what happened to hello good morning how are you your art is nice
#i think. this is in reference to a reblog i made#of my own post#with an additional drawing#where in the tags i joked briefly about mks outfit being different for yaoi reasons#they weren't lying chat . the hate mail on this site goes crazy#I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING YET 😭 ARE YOU KIDDING. THIS ISN'T FAIR#can they just smell it on me.#this is like . going back in time to prevent your grandpa from being born#but it's to prevent grandpa from ever posting old man yaoi#got reblogged by a popular bot. broke 100+ notes. made friends. got hate mail.#now i only need my art reposted to instagram and i will have 100%ed social media. then i'll be free#man im not even discouraged or anything. im just so confused. dude what did i do#it's 12 am. it's past curfew in the retirement home let's just go to bed alright#text post#i wanted it immortalized forever. i'll remember you when i get 20 followers i don't know personally
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it'll all be okay because there's only one more day left in the school week and after that it'll be the weekend. wait no what do you mean after the weekend I'll just have to go back to school? what do you mean the cycle of going to school and coming back home completely worn out is gonna continue?
#mole talks#ive been back in school for..... one week.#im so tired i can't stop feeling tired all of the time now this is horrible#i have to walk around school so much and im forved to be around other people anf its just exhausting#for me school would be better if they removed all social aspects#and all you would have to do is work and you wouldn't have to see other people ever#(apart from the teacher who is teaching you about the subject)#because if theres no forced socialisation that also means....... my classmates would never be ableist towards me again#:[ i can't believe i have to continue going to school#and ill probably have to continue going for many years to come#i hate how much it wares me out. i was si productive during the summer but now im not at all#and i JUST started school. it only gets worse from here#i just wanna learn. i dont want some annoying kid to call me slurs#i dont want to wear a uniform that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin#i dont wanna walk around the corridors feeling like everybody is staring at me and judging me#i dont want to go home feeling too weak and tired to do anything#i just want to learn stuff#i don't think i even really care about how going to school is good for my future because i don't know whats in the future for me#i just want to learn things in the present#:[#wow i have a lot of homework i need to do. i say i don't mind the work but i haven't finished all of this yet so maybe im just lying#im gonna cry. i dont want to go back to school tomorrow i dont want to be surronded by people who hate what i am#but also i dont want the teachers to infantalise me anymore! im not a kid. im 16. treat me like everybody else im not a kid#why am i crying into the tumblr void again
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OKAY OKAY I'M GONNA POST SOME OF MY RAMBLINGS FROM THE GROUP CHAT BC. I'm SO EXCITED about what I fucking scored (these are just snippets I Talked. A Lot LMFAOO)
Okay. Context. Just one pic that doesn't do it full justice bc it has cool little details too (ESP: little straps near the waist that button/unbutton, EXTREMELY USEFUL AND IDEAL to carry my noise cancelors with) (will hit image limit so just saying Dude Trust Me)

Okay. GO
LIKE. LIKE. I went on a whole ass journey about this. The vest I'm talking about in that last screenshot is this really gorgeous handmade green/beige blocked w flower print (it's like. Femme Masc. To me) that I got at a craft fair, for reference! Something I Barely wear/honestly save for special occasions bc 1) the Collar I did not factor in The Collar BUT. I FIXED THIS. WITH SAFETY PINS. Honestly I don't know why I didn't think to do that sooner. And 2) It's... incredibly difficult to pair w my usual jacket. If not impossible.
THIS... CAN CHANGE.... like something I said that I cut out here is The Potential. Of customizing this jacket Intentionally. So that I can layer it in both directions -- worn on top of things ofc but FOCALLY. Easy to wear Underneath something.
IDK IDK I'M JUST SOOOOOO PICKY ABOUT MATERIAL AND HOW THINGS FIT so it's like INSANELY COOL. That I scored something Like This that fits Perfectly to my preferences AND is really good material ESP when I've been wanting to start a new punk jacket For Forever...... again, with more intention this time! I don't have any clear plans or ideas. But I am thinking about The Purpose of it, what I Want from it, and exactly How I want it. And going from there!
#i am merely tolerated in the group chat. (KIDDING...... everyone has their own stuff going on LMFAOO)#this is literally all i've been thinking about all day though i'm SO EXCITED. SOOOOOO EXCITED#'the high of buying things' or whatever okay but what about going extended periods of time not bothering to get anything new#bc you just don't feel like it and are way too attached to your safe clothes anyway but. BUT. THE MAGIC. THE HIGH#of a chance encounter. finding one to two Perfect Things. in the most random ass way possible. and CHERISHING THAT SHIT#riding that high for weeks. idk i just don't like leaving the house or making unnecessary purchases LMFAOOOOOO#'unnecessary'.... mileage may vary on that. REGARDLESS. even IF i do something impulsive it is w So Much Purpose LMFAO#NOT LIKE. POSTURING ABOUT IT. i'm just autistic and picky and am only interested in a few select things. which i go crazy for.#due to the autism.#EITHER WAY I'M SOOOO EXCITED. another reason i really wanted to make a new jacket is so i COULD make it more masc-leaning#i def feel like my style/tastes have evolved since my first run. i still love the aesthetics of my first run#BUT... I WANT... I NEED.... something maybe five degrees less cutesy. femme masc but in a different direction. Green.#LIKE maybe the word i'm looking for is subtle??? subdued???? just more refined. IDK IDK...#oh maybe more overtly edgy. grungy. GRUNGY...... maybe that's what i'm aiming for...#but again no solid plans YET. i also still struggle to conceptualize patch designs for some reason. STILL.......#i'm just very excited about it!!!!!!#my projects#to be.
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✨Me and Moonwatcher got a lil hype to watch the Knuckles series last night. Gave me something to chuckle at while I rest my angry wrist.💖
#knuckles series#please be nice to Moonwatcher he has't gotten his visor yet 🥺#❗️HEY YOU! Have a stretch break!! do iit!! its good for ya❣️#came into the show thinking it was going to be trash and found myself pleasantly surprised at how much I laughed at it#even my partner who has no interest in animated/cartoon media laughed at it#two autistic men having the adventure of a lifetime ft. daddy issues is it's own fucking mood and I'm here for it#honestly I give it a 7 out of 10 needs more Knuckles#but then again I was zooted af when watching it which made it A LOT funnier#probably wouldn't watch it sober#definitely would watch it tripping balls#Knuckles looks so gosh darn adorable I just wanted to reach into the screen and squish his lil face X3#honestly the only off putting thing I disliked about the show was the religious/political propaganda they tried to shoehorn in there#but not one bit surprising considering it's American corporate television#yet still disappointing -shrug-#at least I got what I wanted out of the show after all... that sweet sweet DILF echidna 😍#actually nvm 6 out of 10 needs more Pachacamac#btm-txt#irl?#why the fuck was Kid Cudi there???#anyways enough rambles...if you made it this far don't forget to hydrate along with those stretches#take care of yourself#love you💖
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Small rant in the tags again, I guess, nothing serious tho
#Also the reason I didn't reblog a lot of Paw Patrol (my current hyperfixation) yet is simply bc they have a lot of DNI banners#It just scares me off even if I'm not in any of those specifications#Not to mention there's a lot of tags and DNIs I don't even know what they are#Even a few I know are not even harmful but they're in the list and even if I'm not part of it I have good friends who are#And it makes me feel attacked too#Idk man I just wanted to enjoy a goddamned KIDS SHOW with more than two or three seasons for once in my life#And I'm usually too busy to make content FOR MYSELF all the time#Maybe that's what happens when you're in your nearly thirties and miss the good ol' days when you could share stuff in your own blog#Without possibly starting a wave of “OMG YOU SUPPORT X BC YOU REBLOGGED FROM Y” and being put in block lists or whatever they do nowadays#Rant
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