#i don't care if they're written for each other or never interacted once

[m-for-now]

Something that I feel like I should emphasize again about my type of shipping is that I care so much more for the dynamic and depth of a relationship than wether it's romantic or platonic or queer-platonic or some other kind of connection.

Give me the actual interactions and parallels and dynamic and i'm in

[monabee-draws]

As someone who is acepec, the whole demi Lucanis debacle just doesn't sit right with me. He has so many dialogues that just cut off suddenly, scenes that feel like they're missing (that missive in Act 2 where he talks about dealing with Spite once and for all that just became a completely different scene with Zara??) All the concept art for the romance that was never explored. The massive difference in relationship progression between Rookanis and Nevecanis in terms of both emotional and physical intimacy.

Lucanis' romance is so clearly incomplete even in a game where the romance arcs are sparse on the whole. His character without the romance feels incomplete as well - we get two or so big moments of characterisation and everything else is just the same scene about coffee repeated as infinitum.

I have no issue with a character being awkward and inexperienced, wanting to take things slow, not recognising flirtation or romantic cues, wanting to figure out their complicated situation before jumping into something. I am that person! It took 6 months after my partner and I acknowledged we had feelings for each other for us to start dating because I was not in the right place mentally to do so. Both of us are demi. Both of us have had very few previous experiences with romantic relationships. But that doesn't preclude a person from understanding or wanting emotional intimacy.

The Lucanis situation does not come across as 'he just doesn't have sexual attraction to Rook yet', it's just complete shutdown of conversation on all fronts (something he does not do with Neve, btw.) I too find flirting scary from people I don't know and agonised over it before my partner and I were together. This is not how he's written. His expressions do not reflect shock or awkwardness when Rook flirts, nor does his tone when he responds. Do you know when he does do this? With Neve right at the start of their banter. And he overcomes that shyness quickly. He just does not acknowledge Rook speaking at all the same way any video game character does when their conversation tree is bugged, the game decided to cut some response dialogue and just transitioned directly into the neutral follow-up line. He isn't rejecting emotional intimacy because of Spite and the Ossuary prison because during the ambient dialogue it's clear he's sharing that emotional intimacy with Neve waaaaay before Rook helps him.

I just want more of his writing. Where is he and his character in this story? He's so incredibly inaccessible to us. And I know people will say that characters do not have to be emotionally available to the player (which is true! A great example of this working well is Vivienne, who is warm but not directly open if befriended.) But that should then be a consistent character trait, and it's clearly not. In fact, Lucanis is incredibly declarative about his feelings for Rook romanced or not once you hit Act 3, he's just completely missing in Act 2. Which to me is a flaw in the game's structure. And that 'missing-ness' is being read as demisexuality instead of 'hey this character's writing is actually incomplete and needs restructuring and additional scenes.' Those additional scenes could very much be as awkward and non-romantic in tone as you please, but we needed more of them. Have Lucanis visit Treviso more often to do things other than drink coffee. Have him visit other locations as well! Teach Rook how to cook a local dish, the gondola fight we saw in the concept art. Deciding after the game's poor reception that a character who is clearly only 3/4s of a character, who is lacking in so much characterisation, is the demi character? That feels bad man. Demi characters should be written with just as much care and attention, should get to express themselves in as wide a variety of circumstances, show us more of themselves and how they interact with the world. The reality is that Lucanis has the weakest romance arc in the game, and posthumously attributing that to demisexuality feels like an indictment of acespec people's ability to read the room and express emotional intimacy rather than a true attempt at representing us.

Just as Cullen's heterosexuality and preference for elves and humans is in fact a game development constraint rather than a character writing decision, and Solas' heterosexuality was a result of running out of dev time to record voice lines and re-rig cutscenes, I think we should be able to acknowledge that this version of Lucanis is not a good representation of his character in multiple ways. And that is due primarily to the development cycle rather than writerly intention.

We've had beautiful slowburn romances that were also deeply affected by character trauma throughout the Bioware series. Lucanis' is (in its present state) not one of them. Leliana, Cullen, even Alistair. I think using demisexuality or even slowburn as an 'excuse' for Lucanis' incomplete character isn't a useful way to think about his writing.

Note: This post is purely about quality of writing wrt emotional intimacy. I have zero issue with virgin Lucanis and think that fits his wider writing. I also don't wish Lucanis to be someone he's not - Zevran or Davrin or some other flirty/dommy archetype. I just don't like the casual conflation of awkwardness and inexperience with asexuality. These things do go together but also I don't think we should use demisexuality as a bandaid for poor writing because it reflects poorly on our understanding of ourselves and the community.

[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 4

symbolism

disclaimer: gosho's imagery is subtle and therefore often overlooked, so in order to highlight it, i'll be referencing the work of suzanne collins, an author who tends to spell out her metaphors more

sharks

chapter 882-884

how the case begins:

how it progresses:

this isn't gosho's first time exploring the theme of sharks in the manga:

chapter 311

both shinichi and haibara relate to sharks, they're self-admittedly drawn to blood and darkness. but why?

haibara was born into it, she didn't have a choice... and even though she's no longer a part of the black organization, she still carries the past with her.

shinichi on the other hand? he seeks it out. he directly confronts it, because he wants to defeat it. his unfaltering idealism is what pushes him to be a shark.

ran is very idealistic too, which i talk about here. so why doesn't she act like a shark?

"Finnick knows then what Haymitch and I know. About Peeta. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us." - Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire Chapter 19

the closest that gosho comes to spelling it out like this, is haibara's line about ran "i'm up against dolphin, one of the most loveable creatures in the ocean"

ran's defined by more than her virtuous nature, she's also unbelievably compassionate and sensitive. that's what makes her a dolphin.

her unmatched kindness is constantly displayed throughout the whole manga.

sometimes it irks shinichi:

chapter 787

sometimes it hurts him:

but most of the time it baffles and touches him:

chapter 258

now i'm going to say something that might be controversial: from what i've gathered, shinichi doesn't just appreciate ran's tender heart... he depends on it.

and i'm not saying that lightly, i'm aware that ran's caring nature affects a lot of dcmk characters - it's the reason why vermouth calls her an angel, why haibara refers to her as a dolphin and sees her as a sister figure, hell, it's the reason why kogoro's able to function most of the time.

but i'd still argue that nobody relies on it the way shinichi does, which brings me to the next symbol i want to analyze:

cherry blossom

flowers can represent a variety of concepts, depending on your source and in what context you use them for your writing. the same rule applies to cherry blossoms.

gosho's used it as symbol for justice in the past:

chapter 687

it's interesting to look at it through that lense, but i don't think that's what the cherry blossom represents for shinichi.

after doing some research, i came to the realization that cherry blossoms are widely believed to symbolize hope and the beginning of spring.

i think that interpretation makes a lot more sense for shinran. especially if we examine their first interaction:

chapter 924

shinichi shows ran his deduction skills to impress her... ironically he ends up impressing everyone but her. shinichi's condescension leads to a full-blown argument:

but then something completely unexpected happens... despite the fact that they don't know each other, despite the fact that shinichi insults ran, despite the fact that ran's completely put off by his arrogance, despite all of that... she offers him a cherry blossom and along with it the kindest smile he's ever seen:

and i just can't help feeling like ran's cherry blossom is symbolically very similar to suzanne's dandelion:

"I found him staring at me  from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that’s when I saw it. The first dandelion of the  year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent  in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to  survive.  To this day, I can never shake the connection between this  boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the  dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more  than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his  eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away." - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games Chapter 3

"What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that." Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Chapter 27

and clearly, only ran can give that to shinichi...

let me further elaborate by revisiting the shark analogy:

the most beautiful dolphin in the sea sees a shark like him, calls him out on his bluff and instead of avoiding him, she actually welcomes him. ran shows him genuine affection, despite having so many reasons not to. how could he not fall for her?

for someone like shinichi, a cool shark who's able to recognize other predators in the sea from such a young age, seeing the innocence and warmth of a dolphin is pivotal for him, because it reminds him that there's so much more to life than constantly familiarizing himself with other sharks (in his childhood by reading and later by investigating them)... there's good too.

to summarize... shinichi sees a delicate cherry blossom, a gentle dolphin and holds on to her for dear life. he desperately clings to the promise of hope and spring, he depends on her affection and warmth. he needs ran, because without her winter would never end, he'd never escape to coldness of the sea, he'd freeze.

which explains why

a) he's so protective of her

b) ran's smile serves as a compass for shinichi throughout the whole story - while his mind is busy chasing sharks, shinichi's soul is persistently searching for the same smile that strummed his heartstrings all these years ago. which is why he immediately notices when ran's not okay (even though she's very skilled at concealing her pain) and why he always tries to make her feel better

and that's ultimately why

a) shinichi's keeping his identity a secret

b) he's so focused on getting his old body back

without ran, shinichi wouldn't have a constant inner conflict as conan, without her, he'd lack purpose and as a result, detective conan would be empty and lifeless.

ran's not just a love interest y'all...

she's the heart of the entire manga.

visit the shinran library for more

[that-one-enby-ranger]

I made a post a while ago where I briefly mentioned that I think the craftmasters would all be good friends, and so would Halt and they would hang out together a lot and now because nobody asked and I'm bored, I'm gonna say what I think Halt's relationships with the different craftmasters would be.

Pauline: Their relationship is kind of fucking obvious. I don't need to say anything

Rodney: I think they'd get a long quite well. It was mentioned in the second book that Rodney considered Halt to be a friend. They'd probably sometimes fight a little bit, but generally I think they'd be good friends.

Arald: They are definitely great friends even if it doesn't always seem like it. They definitely annoy each other a lot, and they definitely have had many arguments, but I don't think there's a single person of authority that Halt hasn't had an argument with so that's to be expected. @iwanttobepersephone said once that she thinks Arald are Halt are great friends and Arald is really supportive and kind of like a father but also isn't to Halt and I love this idea so much so that is now true and no one can change my mind. Well done Kore, you have written new canon

Chubb: I feel like Halt and Chubb probably have the most fights and disagreements. You can't tell me Halt isn't a fucking little shit to Chubb in the kitchen or any other time. So most of the time they're arguing about something stupid, but they do actually care about each other, and they can sometimes have calm, casual conversations where they actually get along. They seem very brothers-who-fight-a lot-but-actually-love-each-other coded.

Nigel: Nigel is one hundred percent a yapper and won't shut up about things so he sometimes pisses Halt off, but other than that they get along. They have a few things and common and they'll have conversations about those things. I know realistically Halt most likely wouldn't like to read because it would fit with his character to just find it completely boring and pointless, but because these are my headcanons I can do what I want and I'm gonna self project and I'm gonna say he does like to, so Halt and Nigel will just yap to each other about what they're reading.

Ulf: No one fucking remembers this horse man so he doesn't matter. He had like one line of dialogue in the first book and was never bought up again. I wouldn't be surprised if no one remembers him.

Anyways those are my little thoughts. This is all canon in my mind so nothing can change my mind about how these fuckers interact, not even the king Flanny himself.

[addisong]

A List of Random, Very Specific Circle Headcanons I Have

Pulled all of these straight from my notes because I'm tired of keeping them to myself.

Robert is an introvert in the 'I hate people and don't want to be here' kind of way. Michael is an extrovert. Luke is a extroverted introvert.

Celine tried to teach Hodge French, but he never could quite learn. There is one phrase he does know though and he says it after murdering Celine and cutting Jace from her body :)

Celine has gotten high more than once. Usually during those times when she ran away from home and was looking for a quick way to escape/numb her feelings for a bit.

Stephen proposed to Amatis with her mother's ring (which Luke gave him beforehand)

Robert and Michael wear each other's clothes interchangeably.

Robert is chaotic on accident. He doesn’t mean to be that way, he’s just an absolute mess of a human being, so it happens naturally.

Valentine, Maryse, and Celine drink tea and hate coffee. Luke, Jocelyn, Hodge, and Amatis drink it black. Robert, Micheal, and Stephen drink it w/ milk and sugar.

Robert has a very interesting sense of humor. Kind of odd.

Celine is an etymology/language nerd. When she talks about those things, it's the most self-assured and confident she feels/sounds.

Luke is shorter than Amatis. Robert and Micheal are the same height, but taller than Maryse and shorter than Valentine.

Robert seems like a jean jacket kind of guy. Michael, Stephen, and Amatis would wear converse.

Stephen talks really fast for no reason at all

Eliza makes beaded jewelry as a hobby; does it with her sister sometimes too.

Eliza is a nature girlie. Absolutely adores plants and animals. Forests are her favorite place on Earth. Has memorized and can identify all different types of flowers, butterflies, and bugs. Knows everything there is to know about poison.

Luke has his father’s laugh and his mother’s smile. Amatis’ is all her mother.

Valentine likes to cause drama. Stephen and Maryse kind of enjoy it too. Robert and Michael like to gossip about it. Jocelyn couldn’t care less, neither could Luke.

Michael and Amatis are friends; like, really good friends.

Hodge is ace/aro

Stephen is always really frustrated with both of his parents. Imogen is a helicopter parent in a way. She kind of has high hopes for him to be the next Inquisitor or something, which he’s not really interested in. Marcus is okay, but he kind of does the “do what you mother said” thing and Stephen just wishes he’d grow a backbone.

Hodge, Robert, and Jocelyn are terrible with children as in they have no clue how to interact with them. (Robert and Jocelyn obviously get better once they have their own kids, but when they're younger)

Anytime they're in a Mundane city, Stephen likes to explain everything to them like they're five. (i.e. "This is a stop light. When green, we go. When red, we don't go ☝️🙅‍♂️" *proceeds to make them hold hands while they cross the street*)

Micheal can play the piano

Robert, Jocelyn, and Celine are cat people. Amatis, Eliza, and Michael are dog people. Stephen and Luke are both. Valentine, Hodge, and Maryse are neither.

Amatis’ and Luke’s mother used to sing them nursery rhythms and had a book of them (that she’d written down); after she left, they used to re-read that book over and over again to the point that now they have a bunch of nursery rhymes memorized and reference them often.

Pertaining to the above headcanon, Amatis starts to pick up Stephen’s mundane slang/phrases and he starts quoting nursery rhymes/lullabies more often because of how much she references them.

I have more (actually serious ones) but I'll leave it here for now.

[wordsandrobots]

So I do kind of want to write something about the ending of Gundam ZZ, having now finished my rewatch. But as an aside to that, I wanted to note a few thoughts about how Judau is presented, or, rather, how he isn't presented in a romantic context by the show.

Because both Amuro and Kamille definitely have romantic aspects to their arcs. Amuro has his crush on Matilda and Fraw Bow's (unrequited) crush on him, while Kamille's relationships with Four and Fa are key to his development throughout Zeta. It's treated as part of them 'growing into manhood', in that highly tedious way of exposing a lot of uninterrogated sexism, that we nevertheless have to accept as part of the framework within which these stories were written.

But Judau doesn't have anything like that. He and Haman's rivalry is not really presented in romantic or sexual terms, at least, not directly. Haman is *scared* of Judau and transforms that into a desire to control him, and while her control of several other characters is coded in romantic terms (capital R Romantic, no less, when it comes to Mashymre), their particular dynamic is instead rooted in a push and pull over their differing world-views. Judau's embrace of straightforward emotionally-driven action is critically at odds with the puppet-mastery Haman aspires to and exposes the loneliness and pessimism beneath her approach. She's not in love with him; she's fucking furious this no-account kid could come along and be a shining example of an empathic, caring newtype, right as she'd given up on that as a possibility for humanity's future.

And with Chara, and Judau getting smothered in boobs, the titillation is entirely on her side. It's not even played as him being embarrassed by it, which, while it clearly plays into the joke about Chara being unattractive owing to her overly-sexual aspects, is still notable when there are pretty much zero examples of Judau caring about girls in that way at all. Or, in fact, girls caring about him that way.

Roux and Elle's bickering is notably devoid of any 'we want the same guy' aspects. I shall go further and say that Gundam Wiki ascribing Roux as Judau's love interest is bunk: they never once have romantic interactions and there are other good, character-based explanations for them picking the same path at the end. She and Elle butt heads for the same reason there is tension between Roux and the Shangri-La kids from the start. She's more grown-up and more invested in being the grown-up in the room, which rubs everyone else the wrong way.

Elle, meanwhile, does seem to have strong feelings for Judau but whether these should be considered romantic is actually a surprisingly slippery question. That is, obviously that's the natural read in the sense of being completely typical, but there's a sequence in the final episode that positions her feelings slightly differently.

Under a cut due to spoilers and two teenagers slapping each other.

Right before Judau heads out for his climactic confrontation with Haman, Elle tries to talk him down, since he could very well be killed. He won't listen and Beecha tries to make Elle stop, leading to her backhanding him, him slapping her, and the two of them accepting that they can't do anything except be there in the hope Judau will come back home safe.

Setting aside the gender weighting on the slapping, the part that makes Beecha really angry is Elle asking how he can let Judau go alone because, despite Beecha often disliking playing second fiddle to the other boy, he doesn't like the idea of Judau going alone either. It's just at this point, they're down to one other remaining mobile suit and the priority is protecting the ship.

Beecha is clearly miserable about this too and his contribution here is helping Elle come to terms with the situation. What interests me is that this places Elle's emotions on the same level as his, that of a deeply concerned friend who, regardless of their differences, don't want to see any harm come to Judau. Beecha is implied to have (romantic) feelings for Elle and gets annoyed at her paying more attention to Judau, but here he's the one to express the bulk of the shared emotions. In essence, the text renders everything platonic while underscoring how the Shangri-La gang have grown closer over the course of the show.

Either that, or you go the other way and read this as Beecha's jealousy coming from his own crush on Judau, and conclude he and Elle are reaching the same conclusion about a shared romantic connection to a third person. I don't think that's likely as the intention, although who knows? Certainly Judau shows no negative reaction to an earlier comment by Roux about Beecha being cute, so maybe this is another case where polyamory was the solution.

(And if this isn't a perfect summary of what kind of relationship Roux and Judau have, I don't know what is. That's not romance; that's the cosmos' peanut gallery in the making.)

Irrespective, I find it interesting how the show forecloses romantic possibilities around Judau, not by having them hook up with other people ala Fraw (crucially, there's no hint Elle and Beecha actually do form a couple), or by killing them off, but simply by placing the friendship of the group above everything else. At the end, while Kamille and Fa dance on the shore, Judau's big moment is being reunited with his sister ahead of leaving to get some greater perspective on the world.

I do wonder if this is part of Judau being a more immature character than Amuro or Kamille. After all, the point is that he doesn't 'grow up', doesn't shed his driving anger or the idea of trying to save everyone, instead carrying forward the possibility that things can change in spite of all the 'damn adults' who've harmed the world. He manages to embody Amuro's original idealism about the future without succumbing to the sin of 'doing something he can't take back' over the course of the battles he's forced into.

Again, it's either that or we add another tick in the 'asexual protagonists' column, which would also be perfectly groovy.

[bayetea]

I have a few asks that want to know about my opinions on specific ships, so I thought that maybe I could just drop a bunch of quick takes all at once. under the cut are basic tier lists in which I rank ships featuring the prophecy 7!

none of what I've written here is very detailed so I don't think anything here even counts as ship hate, but forewarning you might see a ship you like sorted into a tier that says "I don't like it" at worst?

a preface - some of you guys might already know this but I almost exclusively envision and depict pjo characters as adults in their 20s (I'm aware that several of these characters died as kids), so just bear in mind that I'm not conceiving "age" as an issue in any potential pairings here - because I grew up with the books and now I just automatically think of all of them as being my own age as if they've all grown up with me. ik that just doesn't compute for some people but that truly is just the way I think about things, so you kinda have to take it or leave it \o/

lastly, I'm 100% a multishipper and I can be pretty open to a lot of things, so even if you see that I've placed something in a lower tier it doesn't necessarily mean that I genuinely couldn't ever like it, and it certainly doesn't mean that I dislike people who do. like I promise I just don't care this is all very unserious to me lol

to start:

percy:

notes: I really don't mean to be one of those people who insists that two non-related characters are basically family and therefore it's gross to ship them romantically (i.e. I won't look at you funny if frankercy is your fave) but like......... there really are interactions in son of neptune that make me think that percy himself views both frank and hazel as actual family members, so that's the main reason why I just can't picture the attraction - but maybe in an au frank x percy could be something (I don't think percy and hazel's personalities could ever work together tbh)

and lastly if carter were an option he would be next to rachel in the perachel tier lol

annabeth:

notes: the "this made me laugh" tier is basically my saying I could only enjoy it as a crackship (I don't think they actually work)

hazel:

notes: hazeleo becomes much more real if they're poly with frank + the "I would hear you out" tier here in particular is more "I kind of sort of almost like this but there's just something missing in order for me to consider it feasible"

frank:

notes: frank/juniper could work actually. I think a high maintenance tree gf makes sense for him

leo:

notes: see I do find valdangelo compelling but only if it addresses leo's very negative attitude toward nico throughout hoo. what I've noticed is that some (not all) valdangelo fans insist that that was ooc all along and that leo getting with nico is something that obviously ought to have happened considering that they were the 2 big outsiders on the argo. and I really don't agree with any of that tbh (and to me that speaks to something of a "pairing the squares" attitude, as well as a fandom tendency to coddle leo and insist he's never done anything bad, which is definitely not true), but I like the idea of leo coming to understand that he unfairly pre-judged nico and learning that there's actually a lot to like about him <3 I think that's a lot better (and makes for a more interesting ship!) than just ignoring his judgmental behavior as if it never happened

but funnily now that I think about it the valdangelo that I find even more compelling is leo/bianca lol. there's something interesting about an eldest daughter who's agonizing to run away from being an eldest daughter and a guy who's been running from everything for his entire life. I think they would make each other worse. but in a good way (or at least in a way that makes for an interesting story)

piper:

notes: piper/beckendorf sounds interesting now that I think about it. and luke is only placed where he is because it would be cool for piper to join the titan army and later stab him with katoptris

I don't have the spoons to yap about the potential of pipethan but it boils down to: I think piper goes really well with stoic personality types, and there's also something interesting about love and revenge, both born from intensely passionate emotions that can do so much harm to the self as well as the recipient. also they would be really good exes

jason:

notes: long time bayetea followers already know that it's hard for me to enjoy jason ships in a canon setting (although as I posted not that long ago, I'm kind of compelled by the thought of jasiper breaking up and then getting back together after like 5...... maybe 10 years of being separated lol) so this entire list is me more or less playing pretend, I don't actually enjoy jason with anyone really unless it's some kind of au

(i.e. if you've read the 8k word valgrace oneshot I wrote and you're confused about leo's placement here - that fic is a total au that's far-removed from canon, so I like them together in that context!)

[marichild]

for the character opinions meme: mori & fukuzawa perhaps <3

also for the character opinions meme: chuuya!!

hi cio !! sorry for the late reply it's been. hectic . for me. 😭😭🙏 nevertheless let's get into it yuhh. (also if other ppl see this. ur allowed to send me asks abt this...heh...)

NAKAHARA CHUUYA

favorite thing about them: I think there's a lot of interesting things to be said about chuuya and humanity, majority of which was the main point of stormbringer. comparing him against dazai is something I think about a lot, but also: sigma, adam(!!), etc. his easy acceptance despite his internal conflict that he's happy in the mafia honestly means a lot to me.

least favorite thing about them: nothing could make me dislike this man ever

favorite line:

funny answer, “Haaah… Am I being tested by a damn machine? ’Cause that’s what it sounds like. And ‘Chuuya-sama?’ Seriously?”

serious answer, “Don’t kill…the Sheep… They’re just kids,” he stammered, practically expelling as much air out of his lungs as he could. “They took…good care of me.”

^ that line. god. 15 and sb chuuya make me a little insane. it's just like....they'd just betrayed him but he chose to protect them anyway. he chose to make himself out as a villain to them to keep them safe. chuuya who's forever loyal to those he chooses and is so fiercely protective. he's so. god.

brOTP: skk. actually I do ship them but. see my controversial opinion that courts anon hate here.

OTP: I don't even ship them but I'm always thinking about sigchuu in a genfic sense. greyaspec chuuya and aroace sigma being weird about their humanity at each other....waugh. stream my fic on it.

nOTP: none that I can think of

random headcanon: he's trans and dgaf. bsd is full of people who are weird about gender and make it a Problem (which is a very normal reaction to have) but chuuya to me like. woke up after the lab decided he was a boy and that was that. he has bigger problems. etc.

unpopular opinion: he's not a hotheaded muscle man <3 he's literallyyyyy so calm and rational. he's just a normal guy. he just reverts back to being 15yo when he's with dazai bc that genderfuckthing makes everyone mad.

song i associate with them: probably a cop out but the season 3 ending is sooo. yeah. stream lily by lucklife the chuuya song ever. translation credits

favorite picture of them: I honestly don't have anything particularly intelligent to say here that hasn't been said already lmaoo. the first one is just bc it's so funny that dazai is crashing out and he's just sitting there like. yeah he'll explain what he's doing eventually. fucking mackerel. the second one makes ME FEEL THINGS . god. he's so young and the flags have basically decided that he's their hissy pet cat. their delight vs. how utterly shocked chuuya looks. I think it's really important that the flags truly sincerely just wanted to help their friend out — nothing more, nothing less. just. wails.

MORI OUGAI

favorite thing about them: for all his ruthlessness, he very genuinely cares about the mafia, the city, and his people. there's a reason why they're so loyal to him.

least favorite thing about them: I won't lie what happened during the war. but. it's an interesting point of reference to what we know about him without that, contextualizes so much, and his mental state during those days was beyond fucked. it's so well written and makes me go !! abt what he's doing forever. mori the character u are. they could never make me hate u.

favorite line: “You remind me of someone,” Mori said without a second thought. like OKAY?? JUST DROP THAT. of course it's not hard to figure out what he meant but I remember my reaction to that being ⁉️⁉️ like. damn.

brOTP: I genuinely adore seeing him interact with kouyou and chuuya haha. there's a reason neither of them hate him and them being uniquely comfortable in his presence struck me in a fascinated way tbh.

OTP: none </3

nOTP: ... also none. help.

random headcanon: he probably once restricted the number of firearms skk have access to if it's true that they used to regularly practice shooting dazai in the head. I think he's one plucked a gun out of dazai's hands and taken it to his own room only for dazai to convince chuuya to help him get it back. neither of them are aware that mori Knows and simply chose to let it go. mori vs. his nightmare children /silly

unpopular opinion: he's not a piece of shit ♥️ nor is he a pedophile or child predator ♥️ I'm not going to descend into my rant on this post yeah negativity @ mori does indeed get you blocked <3

song i associate with them: I don't have any rn! rip </3

favorite picture of them: you're actually the one who reminded me that these panels exist cio but I think it's insane that these exist. brother can take a beating and he's a freak about it. love ya mori. wails in he cares so much forever

FUKUZAWA YUKICHI

favorite thing about them: he is nottttt the holy man some people think he is. it's so funny to me that people think he's a dad (true but also ranpo bullied him into him and he keeps adopting stray cats accidentally) and that he's the moral compass or whatever (he truly is not).

least favorite thing about them: I don't think I have a thing I dislike abt him. once I said that I think we as a fandom would heal if we all admitted we ALL think fukuzawa is hot whether on a physical or intellectual level instead of saying he's Dad (trademark) even when it's not true and I'm still correct and right for that tbh (unless of course he's literally Dad to you)

favorite line: literally anything he thinks about ranpo in his internal moologue in untold origins LMAO idk I'm very fond of untold origins fukuzawa being a wet grumpy cat about literally anything ever

brOTP: RANPO !!! that is his kid who bullied him into fathering him. they're amazing together. ranpo vc I will do it if u praise me. fukuzawa vc sighs okay sure. ranpo ur amazing and my baby. (<- oversimplification I'm joking but) seriously though I think about the cannibalism arc and ranpo's absolute terror and panic knocking him into an uncharacteristic kind of action and feel so so ill. don't start on decay of angels arc either. oh god .

OTP: hmmm. fukufuku, I suppose? again I literally do not ship conventionally for bsd I'm a genfic bitch but. yeah I'm weak to fukufuku. it didn't help when they said they were childhood friends like ok make them even more tragic...

nOTP: fukuran </3

random headcanon: ranpo came out to him as nonbinary and he just blinked and offered ranpo candy once. ranpo vc okay ily and all but ur really really bad at this. fukuzawa vc sighing deeply please go do some work for once please.

unpopular opinion: idk if this counts as an unpopular opinion but he doesn't hate mori <3 they're both still so fucking weird about each other. fukuzawa divorcing his rivals left and right be like

song i associate with them: help. also don't have anything in particular in mind

favorite picture of them: hi so the fukuzawa sleeper cell activates in my brain whenever I see this scene. and this isn't about fukufuku its just — he works so hard, you know? there's always so much responsibility on his shoulders, he's been fighting nonstop for the ada for days at that point, and just....he didn't kill his childhood best friend, his oldest friend, but he certainly was fighting to get it to that point. there's something so uniquely haunting about the cheers of you did it again, reliable as always, and you're staring down the body of someone you thought you knew; you're not the reliable president of the armed detective agency anymore but a man hollowed out and shell shocked by everything he's learned in just the last few minutes alone. and the second picture — it's just, how long can you keep fighting? at one point does it become too heavy to carry? losing someone like that and then it becoming fucking redundant, everything he's done and said and just — god. the sheer grief on his face. his words. it's a rare side to fukuzawa that undoubtedly does exist and it drives me fucking insane. god.

[mayhemchicken-varneyposting]

Aside from Varney/Charles, are there any other relationships (romantic, qpr, platonic, other) that you think have potential for expanding into something interesting?

Ohhhh this ask is pure catnip to me. Thank you for sending this in I'm going to be thinking about this so hard.

I've already talked some about the grifter4grifter potential that is Varney and Margaret Meredith, but that's a silly example and I have more serious ones.

Varney/Marmaduke. I have canon evidence of this one. I'm in the process of exploring it in Man of the House, which is stalled at the moment while I figure out where on Earth the plot of it is going, but once I do then so help me God I WILL write that tragic toxic vampire yaoi.

Henry/Varney. I think this one is almost completely one-sided; it adds something to Henry's character as a guy who is just the MOST out of his depth anyone has ever been if he also develops a crush on the vampire harassing his family. And Varney finds it incredibly entertaining; he eggs it on, fans that little flame just to see how big it can get. I've written fic about this too, it's Chapter 1 of Varney the Vampire Bites Everybody.

Whatever the hell is going on between Varney and Floyd. There's almost not enough of it to even speculate. They're cordial to one another in the vampire council scene, but then in Anderbury Floyd attempts to sucker up to Varney for money and Varney murders him. I need to know more. Were they ever friends. Do they hate each other. What is their deal.

For the lesbians out there Flora interacts with exactly one (1) female character who isn't her mother, and it's Helen Richardson from Anderbury. They become friends. I'm afraid I can't tell you more than this because literally the entire relationship happens offscreen in a sort of epilogue to the Anderbury section, and then both of them vanish from the narrative and are never seen again.

...Sorry lesbians. This book is terrible with female characters. It's fine we'll just break free of the bounds of time (linear time is already not a thing in Varney the Vampire) and introduce her to Clara Crofton, who also has no personality but we don't CARE we don't CARE we're chucking the author out a window and boarding it up behind him. They can awkwardly bond about having their lives ruined by the same disaster man while Charles nurses Ringwood back to health in the background from his latest head injury.

How did I forget about VARNEY/BEVAN mein gott. Those old men need to fuck. Or at least tenderly kiss. Varney. Take a leaf out of Clarimonde's book and SEDUCE! THAT! PRIEST!

I'm not done yet. Putting more of these under a cut since they've got big spoilers for the Varney summaries

Varney and Marchdale. Whatever they've got going on could be fascinating. (I say "could be" because in practice Marchdale is a cartoon villain and Varney is a different kind of cartoon villain, and their relationship has zero depth.) I've expanded on their whole Deal a bit in blood, sweat, and tears (god I've referenced so many of my own fics in this post. I guess that's not surprising, most of the relationships I'm interested in are ones I've written about) where I have Marchdale In It For The Immortality and Varney playing along with him because he'll wade through fire for anyone who learns about the vampirism and still treats him like a person.

On that note, Mrs. Bannerworth and the chaotic triangle of men in her life. Listen to me. Mrs. B married Marmaduke, but Marchdale courted Mrs. B when they were younger, and they were close enough that he moved into her house when Marmaduke died. Then a Goddamn Vampire arrives on the scene, menaces them for a while, and then Marchdale betrays her family for the Goddamn Vampire. To the point of attempting to kill her daughter's fiance. AND THEN. SHE LEARNS. THE GODDAMN VAMPIRE WAS FRIENDS WITH HER HUSBAND BACK IN THE DAY. they maybe fucked you can't prove they didn't. And now the Goddamn Vampire is friends with them, so really Marchdale betrayed them and died for nothing. What a goddamn STEW. Genuinely Mrs. B might have the most interesting perspective on the events of the story of any character in it, and James Misogyny Rymer makes her little more than set dressing. I'm going to raise him from the dead so I can re-kill him.

[the-one-who-lambs]

I heard Goat Game and I came RUNNING-

May I ask 28, 36, and 42? And also give her a big hug and a visitor’s permit to my AU so she won’t be lonely?

Hello fellow Goat enjoyer! Once again, fleshing out my concept for Yael kinda on the fly.

28. What’s the relationship between you Goat and Lamb?

They're totally besties. Someone to get into shenanigans with and shed the shell of leadership safely around. Even when they go a while without visiting each other's cults, after about a decade or so of friendship they can just have a single conversation and pick up right where they left off. Lambert sometimes gets frustrated with Yael for being kind of lax and messy, and Yael sometimes gets frustrated with Lambert for stressing about relatively small things, but their disagreements never last more than a couple days.

36. How does your Goat feel about the Bishops? What about Narinder/The One Who Waits (TOWW)?

As for the Bishops/One Who Waits in Goat's universe, Yael just kind of went through the motions of rescuing their Bishops from Purgatory and didn't really care much about what happened to them. Having to deal with the Mystic Seller's quests is kind of a pain in the ass to them, and they still definitely resent the Bishops for gutting them to death in the first place, but y'know, whatever, she can be a menace to them if she ever wants to. (Eventually she gets bored of that.) The murderous energy they had during their first round of crusades eventually just turns into watching their family drama throughout the cult like Yael's personal telenovela. Yael's Narinder (haven't decided if he should have a different name or not) was kind of the opposite to Lambert's Narinder, and was pretty quick to mellow out after his indoctrination and just enjoy the lack of responsibilities/retirement lmao. Yael and their Narinder's dynamic is definitely a bit more possessive/lust-driven than Narilamb, but they're happily married.

Bishops/One Who Waits in Lambert's universe: Lambert doesn't revive the Bishops after their ascension, and they don't really want anything to with the ones who murdered them and traumatized their husband. Haven't decided if the follower bishop oneshots I've written should fit into the main Risen/Fallen or be sort of a spin-off (I'm leaning more towards a spin-off/different universe since I use my oneshots to explore different concepts to begin with). If I just kinda make "We, Each Point of a Star" stuff R/F spinoffs, then Yael won't really have much of any chance to meet the Bishops because Lambert gets to be bitter forever <3. They have a tough time getting along with Lambert's Narinder for a few months, but he eventually stops being prickly and opens himself up, mostly because he doesn't want Lambert to be disappointed. He also trusts their judgement, so he figures if they see Yael as an ally, then he should make an effort to see them as one too. Yael and Narinder don't interact a whole ton, but they're on pretty good terms.

42. Is there a job your goat likes doing specifically?

FIGHTING!!! They love crusading and fighting whereas Lambert enjoys cult-tending more. They're often happy to winnow down the heretic population in Lambert's stead when needed!

[syncopein3d]

CW: discussion of a real life death / loss of a parent

Hey, whump community! I know I haven't been around as much lately, and I'm sorry to the person who tagged me in a game recently and I didn't reply. I'm pretty new around here compared to many of you, but I have a few followers now, so I thought I'd do a small update. This is about some difficult personal stuff, so you don't have to read this, I just thought I should maybe explain because I hate it when people vaguepost about how they're doing poorly and I don't want to be that person. Just know that I appreciate you all and whump has helped get me through a bad time.

I've mentioned at least once that we lost my Dad in July '24. He collapsed at home on the bedroom floor. I did compressions until the EMTs came and took over, and he died at the hospital. All our lives revolved around his medical and personal care for years before that. Me and Mom and my sibs are still trying to build a new life for ourselves. I'm mostly over the nightmares from that specific night, the guilt that I wasn't better at cpr, and the worst emotional fallout, but none of us will be "normal" for a long time. I am not young, but you're never really ready for something like this. Sometimes even people whose parents are awful still aren't. Dad, while our relationship was complicated (I've never been out to him about being agender, I think he guessed I was ace), was part of my life consistently for pretty much all of it to date.

I will not share the details, but things were pretty awful in the hours before it became clear he wasn't going to wake up and we had his ventilator removed. All of us were in the room with him right up to the end.

After a bunch of connected bits I wrote proved ineligible for a big event and I'd written over 30k words, I really wanted to turn them into a novel about this modern supernatural clinic for vampires, witches and hunters (set in the Trifold Balance universe my Jack Ford one shot is in and also the now very long Left Alone). Obviously, I haven't finished it. I just couldn't put myself into a medical environment for a while, even a very fictionalized modern fantasy one. I've been writing drabbles and short pieces off and on, and interacting sporadically with other people's work.

My bigger regency-era fantasy wip, closer to 200k words now, also was untouched for months apart from basic edits, because I just didn't have the mental energy to write. Yesterday I wrote another 1200 words on it for the first time in ages. I finally have some hope for being able to finish this thing and maybe, just maybe, eventually the other one, too.

I have all of you to thank for that, because all of your prompts and bits and stories helped keep bringing me back to what I love about writing. I'm still 17 lbs heavier than before the funeral (down from 20), I have psoriatic plaques on my face when I never have before, and I still sleep slightly worse than before it happened. If I hear anything like a thud in the house I still run there in a panic. But things are slowly improving for me as they do for all of us. And this place is where I can go away from the part of myself that isn't better yet.

I'll go back to just the fun parts after this, I promise, but thank you. We hardly know each other, but I appreciate you and your writing and reading and comments so, so much. None of us is normal here, but I've always felt at home.

[dmbakura]

Sry I know I come into your inbox to be an annoying bitch about Zelda every time you bring it up but I was thinking of how botw fumbles its dead characters especially in comparison to majora's mask. Because with the champions it just feels like all their character growth etc is in the past, and it doesn't matter anymore because, well, they're dead. There's nowhere else for their character arcs to go. They're dead, and static. I guess that's supposed to be part of the tragedy, but it's really hard to feel that way for anyone except Mipha, because she's the only one where the people she left behind are still alive and still mourn her, but even then it's kind of spoiled because her status as "Link's lost love interest" means the game puts more focus on her romantic relationship with Link than her relationship with her family.

Meanwhile in Majora's Mask the dead characters and what they left behind are a HUGE part of the narrative, and even though we interact with them a lot less (hell, you never even SPEAK to the spirit of the deku mask) their tragedies permeate each region of Termina, there's a real sense of weight to fulfilling their last wishes, and even once you do, there's this lingering grief over the fact that... they're still not going to come back. Link is only filling the void for as long as he's around, and he is going to leave, soon. I mentioned that you don't even speak to the deku mask's spirit, but the game still manages to emotionally sucker punch you by showing the deku butler morning his son in the credits.

yeah I had massive problems with the champions when I played botw. they're all just such nothingburgers with very little impact or plot relevance (with the exception of mipha I guess, like you said). they feel like archetypes rather than characters and there's no real comraderie between them, link and zelda. just all around very boring and a waste of time. you could cut them from the story and basically nothing changes.

the masks in majoras mask, on the other hand, all have coherent thematic and emotional weight tied to their respective areas. they feel a lot more personal and relatable in their struggles and as a result, they actually feel closer to link.

I used to think that the champions being so dull had to do with their amount of screen time, but i think they probably actually have more screen presence than any of the characters in majoras mask, so now i realize it's not the quantity, it's the content of their writing. their screen time is not used effectively, the story is not well written or thematically coherent. you can say very much with very little but botw (and totk) chooses to just say nothing at all.

I also think playing dark souls/elden ring/souls games in general put into perspective how badly put together botw and totk are and how little care was shown towards things like worldbuilding, characterization, thematic resonance... parts of the story nintendo has deemed "unimportant" when these things aren't just fluff on the side of a good game, they're INTEGRAL to the zelda series. in souls games, the characters and bosses have very little speaking lines. some of them have been dead (or have lost their minds) for centuries and by the time you meet them, they're shells of their former selves, but you feel like you still intimately know who they were because of how strongly they're characterized in the brief moments they have, as well as the wealth of lore and storytelling built into the world itself. I'm just like damn, if the souls series can go open world without losing that sort of care in the story, why did zelda throw away absolutely everything that made it zelda?

[cowboymantis]

OKAY WOW SO I JUST FINISHED KAMEN RIDER SABER 💥💥💥

First of all... Damn this season gets SO much hate. At least on twitter/reddit, where they decide to all collectively hate on specific seasons whenever they get even mentioned 💀

But yeah, it was a lot of fun! YES I do have some criticism, it wasn't perfect, but still a really good watch! Espeeeecially loved the main cast. All the characters were so lovable and it was fun seeing them interact and all get so attached to each other the more the show went on. I think with the theme and message of the season, it just really fits that the characters are the shows strongest pillar! :]

The story overall was interesting enough to keep me binge watching, but there were times I just thought okay this pacing is just. Really weird. I don't know how to explain it, but every single episode from episode 1 on felt like it was getting close to the finale. It just felt a bit weird??? Like, just getting thrown into the show isn't a rare thing in Kamen Rider, but here it really felt so chaotic lmao?? Everything was so rushed, so then the finale felt a bit too dragged out honestly. But the last episode was so incredibly peak that I can excuse that... I just can never bring myself to be harsh in toku criticism because, at the end of the day, I went through all of those episodes and had fun and that's most important for me 😭

This is really the main criticism I have... Then, well, it's not really criticism, because I don't think there were badly written, but all the antagonists just... Idk, I just didn't really like them? Not because they're grrr evil, if you know me you know I love a lot of antagonists and hated characters, but they were just so mid to me. I just didn't really care about those characters? If anything, I cared more in the final episode in that one scene. I do respect Master Logos tho for being comically evil and silly for the love of the game‼️

Actually, the only antagonists from the Saber universe that matters to me:

(( #notbiased #inmyunbiasedopinion #nobiashere #wishhewasinnthemainshow #ineveryepisode ))

ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK!!! Man I loved the soundtrack so much. As always, music is such an important thing to me in a show, especially when I can listen to it afterwards and just get hyped again. When it comes to the songs with vocals, the opening was nice, but GRAHH I LOVE THE ENDING!!! And of cooouuuurse Rewrite the Story. Absolute masterpiece 💥💥💥💥💥

Ah and ofc the overall motive and all that. Y'know, back when I was still in school, from when I joined my after-elementary-school school, so from 5th grade on over here, I was in a book club and met basically all my school friends through that (Sometimes we'd even have sleepovers IN THE SCHOOL!!! This was the coolest thing ever). Later even joined the school's library team! I sometimes wrote stuff or did the absolute worst amateur comics and my friends were so excited to read them. Had a fun rp group mixed with both irl and online friends and people were basically fighting over interacting with my characters, which is still wild to me 😭

So... OF COUUURSE!!!! OF COURSE it all being about books and the bonds created through them hits close to home in the sweetest heartwarming way OUGHH!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

It just really once again shows how there's toku shows for everyone and seasons that especially personally correspond with someone, I love the power of tokusatsu...

Now... have a silly Yuri clip for the end bc THAT'S MY GOAT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[i-am-a-living-god]

hello! what’s your current project you’re working on? and what’s something you’d like to work on in the future? (gimme all the details you want, i love hearing about others’ stuff!)

Greetings!! Oh god where do I even start I have like 20 ok so first, fanfics!

Tello— co-writing this one lol have you ever read ghost in the shell by AmevelloBlue? It's like that but reversed, like rise Donnie ends up in 2003 when they're kids, and becomes like an older sibling to them lol (we're going really slow with this one lol)

Wukong (placeholder name)— a sequel of a sort to this really shitty one-shot I wrote about sun wukong killing macaque! This one shot serves to set up toxic Shadowpeach later on, I'm planning on turning this into a shitty self indulgent one shot series.

Art-wips!

Caseynardo— a cute lil comic strip of this ship because someone I know likes the ship and there isn't nearly enough of it. (I'm slowly getting sucked into it send help, this ships actually really good—)

Su arcane crossover— been in the works for awhile, I really just need to convert it to digital. It's a comic strip where Peridot and Jace interact, because someone requested it.

Isha Jinx poem— not actually a poem, I can't write poetry. It's a comic strip where jinx thinks about Isha.

Oc stuff!

—figuring out where each oc stands in this universe, trying to decide if I should keep Maria in this oc universe, or create something different for her.

SHOULD I KILL THE ONE WITHOUT A NAME??? AND SHOULD I GIVE HER GLASSES??????

Does max have any hobbies? Do they just exist?????

SHOULD I KILL NAMELESS???

WAIT WHAT SHOULD I EVEN CALL HER??? ARE NAMES NECESSARY??? HELP

*ehem* something I'd like to work on in the future! Excellent question!

The actual ninja iteration I stopped working on due to failure.

A–Cross the room— I said I would continue this like a year ago, I even have most of the second chapter written, but alas, never gonna happen, rip dust sans.

Ok now actual things I'd like work on:

A web comic of some sort. Maybe a fan comic, maybe not. I wanna do that, I wanna actually succeed in doing it tho. I don't care if it's good, I just want it to actually exist.

A long fic that I actually finish! Wow that would be awesome! Imagine, me- actually finishing a fic for once! Oh I would celebrate forever.

I'd like to make an au that I actually work on without moving on to something else almost immediately.

I want to make a jinx cosplay at some point in my life.

Ok so, not something that really matters online much, but I want to crochet a Mabel sweater at some point.

And that's probably it, thank you so much for the ask! <3

[moonspirit]

hello moon. i’ve been lurking on your page for a long time, never interacted. maybe i can become a regular on here, who knows?

i was hoping you’d do that send a ship thing for aruani.. i found it strange you haven’t done them yet given how clearly obsessed you are with them. you’ve already done them for the lock screen thingy but i wanted to see the rest, it’s like 5AM for you rn.. but maybe your best thoughts are at the ass crack of dawn?

yours truly, behyuu.

Hi behyuu!

Haha, feel free to become a regular on my blog, no problem xD But I had received more than one request for Aruani, so I thought I'd do them all together.

Who said “I love you” first

I think it'd be Armin. From the boat scene in 131, when Annie asks him why he kept visiting her, he really could've said any number of things that wouldn't technically have been false, like "I wanted to make sure you were okay," or "I wanted to tell you what was happening," but he very clearly says "I wanted to see you, Annie." He was blushing like a ripe tomato, and yet he chose to say the one thing that would leave no room for any doubt as to what his feelings were. Armin doesn't hesitate to express himself through words, and with Annie, I believe he'd only take this a few steps further to tell her clearly that what he carries for her is love, nothing less.

Annie herself would not say "I love you" until a long time after they're comfortably together, I feel. She's been denied love all her love, deprived of it to the extent that Armin's barest hints of care were enough for to cling onto, and so being loved and loving back is all going to be so very new to her. She will express it through her body language, but not in words; not very early on in their relationship anyway.

In the long run, I really think this spoken-aloud form of reaffirmation from Armin would be the most beneficial for Annie. As much as physical touch is her way of seeking security, safety and comfort from him, it's also very crucial to be reminded that yes, the person kissing her and loving her body also really does love her, the way he never forgets to say in words.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

I answered this one here!

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Both maybe! If Armin's the one taking a shower first, then he leaves a little "I <3 U" on the mirror for her to find once he's done. Nevermind the fact that by the time she does find it (say she wakes up late and he's already left), it's all maybe mostly gone and runny around the edges, but she knows he left it there for her, and it makes her feel all warm inside.

What if Annie's the one taking the shower tho? In that case, she's brushing her teeth in front of the washbasin and the mirror, messy haired, sleepy eyed and lethargic. As she works the toothbrush between long yawns, she doodles a cat on the mirror that's steaming up from the hot water she's left running in the tub. Later on, Armin finds this cat when he comes in to shave, and he finds it to be the cutest thing ever. Maybe they name each cat she draws.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

I have a hc that Annie's really awkward with gift-giving, so while this doesn't translate into "she doesn't pick good gifts", what it does mean is that her gifts are funny, bordering on cute-as-fuck.

Armin is good with gifts. He buys her things she needs, and throws in some flowers, some chocolate, maybe a plushie and a picnic date. He pays attention to what she likes, what she doesn't like, and this generally means Annie's going to get some of the best gifts ever, whether or not his planning and execution goes to shit because he's so nervous about everything being perfect.

So the one giving him cards with cliche quotes and a leather wallet that the seller tells her is a trendsetter with men, are some of the things Annie gets him. Cut the girl some slack. Her gifts don't suck, they're just cheesy. And he finds it so fucking cute how hard she tries.

Who initiated the first kiss

Armin. It's the pounding heartbeats in their chests, synchronizing. It's the static in the air, sparking and tingling. Her wide pale-blue eyes atop blushing cheeks, locked onto his own in baffled surprise, because he's just told her he loves her and she doesn't understand - why her? Why her, of all the other girls? But that's what his heart wants - her - and he's told her as much and all he can do is hope she feels the same.

But she does. She does, he can see it, right there in her eyes, when her gaze drops lower. She feels the same, he can see it, as her lips part, just a bit, ever so slightly he can almost touch her breath. Then she looks up again, searching his eyes.

He sees his chance, he takes it. Because who knows if there'll be another? He kisses her, long, and slow and sweet, until she's kissing him back with the same longing.

*Aherm* Okay, I got carried away. Basically he kisses her first, but the next time he loses his confidence and doesn't, and then because Annie's impatient as hell, she kisses him second.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Annie. I hc that she's the early bird while he struggles to wake up in the morning in general, so naturally being up first, she gives him a little peck on the nose or on the lips. Sometimes he's so deep asleep he doesn't stir at all. Sometimes he's half-awake and drags her closer for longer kisses, and the hope of sleeping in late with her. Sometimes she kisses him short and brief, when she's aching from dealing with something she doesn't like and hasn't told him about; other times they are fluttery, airy, open mouthed kisses, offering silent, sweet promises of love and happiness from between her lips.

Who starts tickle fights

Armin. He reaaaaaaaalllllyy likes teasing her. Whether that's because she's scowling to hide her embarrassment, or refusing to tell him what she's finding so funny in the magazine she's reading - he's always got his hands ready to grab her around the middle and invite her into a tickle fight. The thing though, is that Annie's laughter isn't because of his actions--she's NOT ticklish by any means--but because of the whole play-fighting itself. His laughter is infectious, and she can't help but follow with her own giggling until she's snorting at his stupid jokes and bright eyes.

Guess who's ACTUALLY ticklish? Him. Once she gains the upper hand and squirms away to straddle his hips, it's all game over.

So he may be the one starting the fights, but he's not the one winning them.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Annie. I just find it more in-character for her to blurt out that he's welcome to join her in the shower. Say they've just come back home after a long and tiring muddy hike, and they're so exhausted they might not have the energy to take showers after each other. It's a casual suggestion, quick and without much thought to it, when Annie says, "Join me then. It'll be quicker."

She might've said that, but once they're actually stripping in the bathroom and getting into the hot waters of the bathtub, Annie's the one burning to the tips of her ears. Doesn't help that Armin's lost all his initial embarrassment and inhibitions and is welcoming her to sit between his legs, pulling her back flush against his chest.

The rest belongs in a smut fic.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Annie. Armin forgets to eat, especially when he's drowning to his neck in documents piling up on his table at work. He's studying up for a meeting on his morning transit, signing off agendas and rescheduling appointments, making six dozen phone calls, holding talks with important people... ugh. He has barely any time to breathe, so his eating habits at work are basically non-existent. During such times when things are more hectic than usual, and it's often a familiar sight to find him coming home with a loosened tie and exhaustion on his face, Annie's the one heading to his workplace with lunch and coffee in her arms. She makes sure he eats, and also eats her own lunch with him, so he's kept company by the only person he can be his silly, goofy self around.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

I'm inclined to say both, it's just that Armin would express it more openly than Annie would. What Armin would be fretting and worrying about is how perfectly the date is going, how smoothly his plans are working out, and so on. He'd be so bothered about every teeny tiny detail and Annie's enjoyment that he wouldn't really be able to relax and enjoy it himself.

Annie on the other hand, would be nervous and scared about disappointing him. It would warm her heart how he sweetly switches to her more exposed side as they're walking down the street, but it also worries her about how expressive she's being, or rather, how much she's lacking in that respect. Disappointing Armin is probably her biggest fear.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Annie. Armin hesitates too much. He looks at the mama spider, looks at her eggs, looks at her babies, thinks of the consequences, thinks of their extended families and their ancestors, their futures, their pasts, their presents, and so on and so forth. It's been six hours and he's ignoring the spider in the bathroom because he's conflicted over killing them.

Annie would kill them (she doesn't like bugs), but because she knows it'll break his heart, she traps them in a special plastic cup she keeps for the spiders and lets them out somewhere far away.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Armin. Even sober, he's always running to give her a big hug with a stupid wide smile on his face, going "Aaaanniiieeeee!!". The happiest golden retriever in the world. Now get that golden retriever drunk to his eyeballs and he won't fucking shut up about how beautiful she is, how big her heart is, how soft she is, how her eyes are like the sky and the sea and other fantastic imagery. He tells her he wants to marry her (even if they're already married), and how he wants to wake up to her presence everyday. In a crowd, it's fucking embarrassing for Annie. Secretly though? She loves it. Replays it in her head over and over again.

[mushr00mfriend]

Hello!!!!

I just wanted to come on here and say that I love Delirium and your writing!!! It's so amazing how you managed to write such a rich and complex story without having it shoved down your throats or just underperforming. There are many things I loved about Delirium that I could go on and on about but I'm just going to settle on two things.

One is how I loved how Crow was written. Idk how to explain but I love anyone can imagine themselves in it. They are very ambiguous to the point where you can imagine what they would wear and not have to worry about if you can see yourself in them. A little rant incoming, but I've never liked how many authors always had a set image of their mc/reader in mind. This is different if regards their personality (we can't a boring mc can we?) but this is about how the author writes what the mc puts on or describes certain aspects of their body (hair or body) and this always set me off from most stories. Im sure this is such a small thing to get peeved over, but there many people that aren't included in that image of an mc an author has. When I reading Delirium, I was surprised on how Crow's appearance was never really described unless it was clarify wounds or things that happened to them. It's also amazing how Crow still has personality and yet is able to be imagined as anyone! Honestly, thank you for writing Crow/mc so ambiguously, ik this probably something stupid to thank you for but I'll thank you a thousand times for this.

Next would be how you wrote the relationships between the proxies and shades (I'm not if that's the right word) and overall the occupants of the mansion. It's very unique and interesting how you decided to write them actually caring and having fun with each other. A majority of the creepypasta fics I've read mostly involve all the proxies and others absolutely despising each other. Seeing each other as coworkers and nuisances. While I'll admit there are many fics out there that execute this perfectly, it's honestly boring and overused to see the proxies hate each other and yet live in the same house which honestly never made sense to me. Reading how the trio and others look out for each other, viewing them as friends and even family is honestly so astonishing. You managed to write the Slender Mansion trope that was loved for it comedy and crack and turned it into something that was still on crack but had the serious element that comes with serial killers working for an eldritch being so perfectly. It's also crazy how you wrote the characters as well. I mean the main trio in most fics would be written to hate each other and have that "I hate my coworkers but we have funny banter once in awhile". It's funny but I think prefer your version of the trio. In reality, they're just a bunch a mentally ill men who find solace and peace with each other. While they do banter, it's more light-hearted and teasing. How they're written with others is also amazing. The scene with Ben was pure comedy to me. Usually they argue and tell the other to fuck off but seeing how they interacted with him was so cool. I adore how you wrote the proxies and others together and I cannot wait for more.

I literally cannot for Delusion to come out. It's been on my mind for so long I'm pretty its evolved itself into my brain. I do have some questions regarding the story but please don't worry if you can't or won't!

1.) Are the Acts going to focus on something specifically? Is there a clear plot going on? An example could be like Act 1 focusing on Crow adjusting to their new life and then Act 2 being their victims or something else. I'm sorry if this was worded weirdly!!!

2.) Is Kate going to be a main part of the story or just someone who appears in one act? Is she going to put Crow into some trouble? Will Crow feel inclined to live up to her legacy or just feel indifferent?

3.) How are the others (proxy trio and occupants in the mansion) going to react to Crow now being part of the family? Is there going to be resentment towards them joining in? Are they going to be compared to Kate? (I'm not sure if I can ask this but doesn't hurt to try.)

4.) Is Crow going to retain their old personality or just be an empty husk that grows into their personality? Will they keep likes, dislikes or preferences? Or have to learn about their self all over again?

5.) Who are the love interests going to be? Is there going to be little or a lot? Will they come from beyond the Slender Mansion?

I think those are all the questions I have. Please feel free to not answer them if they are spoilers to Delusion or ruin the element of surprise you are planning!!!

I also have some hc's regarding Crow which I'm going to keep short.

1.) I like to think that Crow starts to collect shiny things or just starts to collect in general. Part of their namesake after all.

2.) From what I remember, crows are known to be super intelligent and remember the faces of those who are kind to them. They even give gifts to them. Id like to think that Crow remembers everyone. The ones who were kind, mean, etc. They won't leave gifts but maybe they show in subtle ways that they remember and appreciated it.

This is so long. I'm so sorry if this was super chunky but leaving long comments and asks is my love language to all my favorite authors. I hope you have a good day or night and take care!!!!

I am grabbing you gently by the face and looking you deeply in the eyes before planting a big messy kiss on your forehead!!! I am taking you by the hands and taking you to the aquarium!! We will go to the touch tank and giggle about the rays splashing us with water!!!

I was not expecting such a wonderful dissertation in my inbox! Your words mean so, so much to me. There's so much love and care I've put into Delirium and to see that others are able to get it is frankly, staggering. I'll be honest, I never expected the reception I've gotten on Delirium. Hoped for it, yes certainly! But it was like a pipe dream. Please lend me your ear for the ramble that I will now bestow upon you as a reward for your lovely, lovely words.

Crow was/is my best attempt at ambiguity because I, like you, did not like the heavily intended imprint that other authors put on reader-inserts. Power to them, of course, it's their sandbox-- but as a nonbinary person, The intense fem lean in so many of them really made me uncomfortable. Not to mention the explicit whiteness present in nearly all of them! I've been trying to lend an ear to the BIPOC parts of the fandoms I'm in and one thing that really stood out to me was the fact that many authors don't notice that the way they use descriptors implies that the reader is White. It's because they are White themselves, of course, but it really hit me that internal biases can come out in such subtle ways (is it a bias? Probably not the right word, but I'm more talking about the way one thinks about themself and how it translates into text, with a racial focus).

Then I made a friend who has Alopecia and is bald, or nearly so. And I realized that so many reader fics put emphasis on the presence of hair. This also ties into the BIPOC exclusion, because a lot of that description also implies that the hair is straight or wavy, not curly or coily.

So, I've tried my best to read about it and eliminate those unconscious descriptors from Delirium. I'm certain its not perfect-- most people have hair, for example, and with different textures, so it's hard to not mention hair at least once-- but I tried to give it the best I've got with a vagueness that could imply almost nearly everyone. 

It's harder with personality, with Crow's reactions to things, with the family set up, with the relationship with Cathy (I've gotten lots of comments regarding these); but as you said, no one likes a boring MC, and I'm okay with these things being picked over. They're integral parts of the story I'm writing, after all-- but what Crow looks like? That isn't.

(I'm open to constructive criticism, of course. The internal biases ingrained into us through the dominant culture are deep set and require constant maintenance and vigilance. Learning comes from both the self and others.)

Yes! Yes! The relationships are so important to me!! Gah! I've put these little guys in the spin cycle of my brain for so long!! At this point they have been so blorbo-fied that releasing them back into the wild will certainly lead to their death, so I keep them safe in their enclosures and make them get along :] -- Shades is the right word, by the way! Anyone not a Proxy is a Shade.

The ever-present tension and fighting is interesting, yes, because conflict is tasty-- but as you said, this does not bode well in a living situation. I've done quite a few instances of close living with others for periods of time (camping, mainly), and with many types of people. Some chill and some not. And despite the not-chill ones being there and causing problems, those problems didn't happen all the time. When a group is so big, there comes a point where the members get along because they have to. Social pressure does a lot, but the shared existence does as well. No one is bad or mean all the time.

Now, murderers 'employed' by otherwordly beings is a different barrel of fish, of course. But we treat our crack seriously here. How good is your 'business' of your 'employees' are constantly yelling and beating the shit out of each other in front of the 'customers'? This isn't a Waffle House. It's a respectable manslaughter establishment. This is a Waffle Home.

And here I burst into tears and blubber nonsensically on the floor-- hearing someone say they like my interpretation of the Proxy trio dynamic makes my week. My month. My year. My goddamn lifetime.

"In reality, they're just a bunch a mentally ill men who find solace and peace with each other"

You!! You get it!! You see it!! My tears could replace the ocean. With all they've been through, everything they've seen and experienced together, the horrors they go through every day-- in the end they have each other. They rely on each other. They trust each other. They bicker and banter and argue and fight and after that they put each other back together. They help each other hold their broken pieces. Their relationship is messy and brutal and harrowing and so, so good. Companionship blooms on the battlefield. Devotion flows out the trenches. Fealty coats their bullets. It fills their bunks. It keeps them warm against the icy cold.

Okay, enough weeping.

The scene with Ben was quite important, in my eyes-- from what I remember, there hadn't been any sort of scene with the Proxies and the other's in their Family interacting (Jason isn't part of their Family, to be clear). It's an important scene because it's stage dressing. It shows you what goes on, expands upon the fanon-atypical characterization. To bring back the 'business' metaphor-- the Proxies are like supervisors. They take orders from management (their Lord). They must, then, be at the very least cordial with the workers (Shades) to keep the business operating. In my world, in my interpretation, they're all in the same boat. They're all trying to make it to the end of their shift. They have to work together, they're a team. So, at this point, when everyone's been coworkers for so long, everything just kind of mellows out. They've had their disagreements and arguments, there's been grudges, etc. But everything's chill now.

At least until the new hire arrives. Now that's certain to stir things up :]

Responding to your Crow headcanons wayyyy at the bottom:

1. This is an excellent one because I love trinkets and it's such a fun way to tie into the name symbolically. This is going into the character sheet for sure.

2. Memory is a complicated subject here, but I will say this plays in nicely with what is to come :]

(I'm also always, always rabid for thoughts about my book and it's characters, so feel free to lay more headcanons on me!)

---

As always, I write way too much. Answers to your (wonderful) questions under the readmore:

1. Not weird! There is a clear, overarching plot that builds throughout the book; the 'Acts' are essentially the more minor plot arcs that the characters will go through, the kind that flows into each other and both builds on themselves and that bigger plot behind them. Your examples are quite similar to what I'm thinking! Act 1 will be about Crow adjusting to their new life, yes, but also other things. The other acts, well... You'll see ;]

2. If I say nothing, that's almost like saying something, isn't it? ;]]

3. Resentment, yes, as well as curiosity, anger, eagerness, bitterness, and much more. Some of these feelings will change for the better, some worse. Crow will most certainly be compared to Kate-- they're her replacement, after all. Some won't care about that, and other's will be incredibly hurt.

4. A little bit of both-- Crow will retain parts of themself, and have to relearn many others. Some things will never quite come back, and some new parts will come to light. Think of yourself as you were a year ago. Are you the same? What about five years ago? It's a similar thing if you ignore all the eldritch-bullshit going on.

5. This is a liiiiiitle harder to answer than the others (genuine rant/discussion incoming. Sorry):

 I've been thinking on this exact thing for a long while. I don't really... Have a firm grasp on what romance is or looks like. When I first started this project my goal was for Crow to get all romantical with the Proxy trio (Masky, Hoodie, and Toby) because I thought I wanted them to kiss me on my hot mouth. That was like, seven to eight years ago. Not saying I don't want to mack on em still! Just that my personal life journey has meandered along until I had to take a good, long look at the story and wonder what I wanted it all to say in the end.

There's a lot of hard, heavy topics in Delirium. There's gonna be a lot more in Delusion. We're talking about severely mentally ill serial killers and Lovecraftian horrorterrors here-- it's gonna get pretty ugly. And as I've been pulling together the plot and writing the characters and constructing the end, and thinking about my own life, I realized something.

Romantic love is always placed on a pedestal. It's considered the final destination, the top of the pyramid. It's what everyone wants, what everyone needs to feel complete. To be complete. To be fixed and healed. Not only that-- it's what you should want and need. It's what should fix and heal you. And if you don't-- if it doesn't-- something is terribly, terribly wrong with you.

At least, that's the current zeitgeist (the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time, thanks internet). But that's not really true, is it? It isn't the reality for a lot of people. It isn't for me.

I may be philosophizing and queer theory-ing a little too hard over a Creepypasta reader-insert fanfiction, but it's what I feel. For many real people, and for these characters, romantic love won't save them. It can't. But does one need to be saved? Does one need to be 'fixed' or 'made complete', especially by love? Who says they are broken, or incomplete in the first place? Is that what I really want to say here? Not really.

So there was no romance in Delirium. And if you (I'm using the non-specific, all encompassing you here) are hoping that there will be some in Delusion, I'm not sorry to say there won't be. Not in my opinion, at least. Because, really, there's gonna be parts in Delusion that people can construe as romantic. It's not necessarily un-romantic-- there's gonna be kissing, hand holding, cuddling, sharing clothes, making food for one another, sharing interests, sharing secrets, entwining lives inseparably, etc. Some can argue that these are actions reserved for romantic partners-- but I do all of these things with my friends. Others in real life do as well. What delineates romantic love from platonic love? Sex? Certainly not. People have sex with strangers they'll never see again. Are they in love? Friends with benefits exist. Are they in love? Some married people, when they grow old, stop having sex. Are they no longer in love? Some people don't have sex until after being married. Do they not love each other? Some people date for several months or years before having sex. Were they not in love until then?

Or, more importantly-- did they not care for each other until sex was put in the equation? I think that's something that is-- incorrectly-- tied to sex. That one does not actually care, or trust, until they have sex.

Do you not share your food with your friends? Your secrets? Do you not spend time with your friends? Go out to eat with them, see movies, play games? Do you not share your interests with them? Your art? The vulnerable, fragile sides of you? 

A cat shows you its belly. A dog stares at you, pressed as close to you as possible. A lizard closes its eyes as you watch it. A deer lowers its head to graze. A snail gently rasps its radula against your skin. A caterpillar inches across your finger. A mouse cleans itself in front of you. A crow brings you gifts.

How is that not trust? How is that not care? How is that not love?

I think it's one of the fatal flaws of reader-insert fanfiction. Generally people expect romance with these things. How do I, exactly, essentially, 'advertise' that Delirium and Delusion are an insert fic without an x or /? The ampersand (&) has been making its way through the general ecosphere, but I don't know how well it translates. I don't want to falsely advertise, but at the same time I don't want to miss readers who may genuinely like it, who will read and be satisfied in the end even if there's no true romance.

So, to finish: there will be no love interests. But the original vision stands: Crow will have a deep relationship with Masky, Hoodie, and Toby. They will be close to others as well (that may be spoilers, so I'm keeping it vague).

Thank you, again, for your words. For taking the chance and reading my work. I hope to make Delusion live up to your expectations <3