#i don't care if they're written for each other or never interacted once

[m-for-now]

Something that I feel like I should emphasize again about my type of shipping is that I care so much more for the dynamic and depth of a relationship than wether it's romantic or platonic or queer-platonic or some other kind of connection.

Give me the actual interactions and parallels and dynamic and i'm in

[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 4

symbolism

disclaimer: gosho's imagery is subtle and therefore often overlooked, so in order to highlight it, i'll be referencing the work of suzanne collins, an author who tends to spell out her metaphors more

sharks

chapter 882-884

how the case begins:

how it progresses:

this isn't gosho's first time exploring the theme of sharks in the manga:

chapter 311

both shinichi and haibara relate to sharks, they're self-admittedly drawn to blood and darkness. but why?

haibara was born into it, she didn't have a choice... and even though she's no longer a part of the black organization, she still carries the past with her.

shinichi on the other hand? he seeks it out. he directly confronts it, because he wants to defeat it. his unfaltering idealism is what pushes him to be a shark.

ran is very idealistic too, which i talk about here. so why doesn't she act like a shark?

"Finnick knows then what Haymitch and I know. About Peeta. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us." - Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire Chapter 19

the closest that gosho comes to spelling it out like this, is haibara's line about ran "i'm up against dolphin, one of the most loveable creatures in the ocean"

ran's defined by more than her virtuous nature, she's also unbelievably compassionate and sensitive. that's what makes her a dolphin.

her unmatched kindness is constantly displayed throughout the whole manga.

sometimes it irks shinichi:

chapter 787

sometimes it hurts him:

but most of the time it baffles and touches him:

chapter 258

now i'm going to say something that might be controversial: from what i've gathered, shinichi doesn't just appreciate ran's tender heart... he depends on it.

and i'm not saying that lightly, i'm aware that ran's caring nature affects a lot of dcmk characters - it's the reason why vermouth calls her an angel, why haibara refers to her as a dolphin and sees her as a sister figure, hell, it's the reason why kogoro's able to function most of the time.

but i'd still argue that nobody relies on it the way shinichi does, which brings me to the next symbol i want to analyze:

cherry blossom

flowers can represent a variety of concepts, depending on your source and in what context you use them for your writing. the same rule applies to cherry blossoms.

gosho's used it as symbol for justice in the past:

chapter 687

it's interesting to look at it through that lense, but i don't think that's what the cherry blossom represents for shinichi.

after doing some research, i came to the realization that cherry blossoms are widely believed to symbolize hope and the beginning of spring.

i think that interpretation makes a lot more sense for shinran. especially if we examine their first interaction:

chapter 924

shinichi shows ran his deduction skills to impress her... ironically he ends up impressing everyone but her. shinichi's condescension leads to a full-blown argument:

but then something completely unexpected happens... despite the fact that they don't know each other, despite the fact that shinichi insults ran, despite the fact that ran's completely put off by his arrogance, despite all of that... she offers him a cherry blossom and along with it the kindest smile he's ever seen:

and i just can't help feeling like ran's cherry blossom is symbolically very similar to suzanne's dandelion:

"I found him staring at me  from across the school yard. Our eyes met for only a second, then he turned his head away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, and that’s when I saw it. The first dandelion of the  year. A bell went off in my head. I thought of the hours spent  in the woods with my father and I knew how we were going to  survive.  To this day, I can never shake the connection between this  boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the  dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed. And more  than once, I have turned in the school hallway and caught his  eyes trained on me, only to quickly flit away." - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games Chapter 3

"What I need to survive is not Gale’s fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that." Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay Chapter 27

and clearly, only ran can give that to shinichi...

let me further elaborate by revisiting the shark analogy:

the most beautiful dolphin in the sea sees a shark like him, calls him out on his bluff and instead of avoiding him, she actually welcomes him. ran shows him genuine affection, despite having so many reasons not to. how could he not fall for her?

for someone like shinichi, a cool shark who's able to recognize other predators in the sea from such a young age, seeing the innocence and warmth of a dolphin is pivotal for him, because it reminds him that there's so much more to life than constantly familiarizing himself with other sharks (in his childhood by reading and later by investigating them)... there's good too.

to summarize... shinichi sees a delicate cherry blossom, a gentle dolphin and holds on to her for dear life. he desperately clings to the promise of hope and spring, he depends on her affection and warmth. he needs ran, because without her winter would never end, he'd never escape to coldness of the sea, he'd freeze.

which explains why

a) he's so protective of her

b) ran's smile serves as a compass for shinichi throughout the whole story - while his mind is busy chasing sharks, shinichi's soul is persistently searching for the same smile that strummed his heartstrings all these years ago. which is why he immediately notices when ran's not okay (even though she's very skilled at concealing her pain) and why he always tries to make her feel better

and that's ultimately why

a) shinichi's keeping his identity a secret

b) he's so focused on getting his old body back

without ran, shinichi wouldn't have a constant inner conflict as conan, without her, he'd lack purpose and as a result, detective conan would be empty and lifeless.

ran's not just a love interest y'all...

she's the heart of the entire manga.

visit the shinran library for more

[wordsandrobots]

So I do kind of want to write something about the ending of Gundam ZZ, having now finished my rewatch. But as an aside to that, I wanted to note a few thoughts about how Judau is presented, or, rather, how he isn't presented in a romantic context by the show.

Because both Amuro and Kamille definitely have romantic aspects to their arcs. Amuro has his crush on Matilda and Fraw Bow's (unrequited) crush on him, while Kamille's relationships with Four and Fa are key to his development throughout Zeta. It's treated as part of them 'growing into manhood', in that highly tedious way of exposing a lot of uninterrogated sexism, that we nevertheless have to accept as part of the framework within which these stories were written.

But Judau doesn't have anything like that. He and Haman's rivalry is not really presented in romantic or sexual terms, at least, not directly. Haman is *scared* of Judau and transforms that into a desire to control him, and while her control of several other characters is coded in romantic terms (capital R Romantic, no less, when it comes to Mashymre), their particular dynamic is instead rooted in a push and pull over their differing world-views. Judau's embrace of straightforward emotionally-driven action is critically at odds with the puppet-mastery Haman aspires to and exposes the loneliness and pessimism beneath her approach. She's not in love with him; she's fucking furious this no-account kid could come along and be a shining example of an empathic, caring newtype, right as she'd given up on that as a possibility for humanity's future.

And with Chara, and Judau getting smothered in boobs, the titillation is entirely on her side. It's not even played as him being embarrassed by it, which, while it clearly plays into the joke about Chara being unattractive owing to her overly-sexual aspects, is still notable when there are pretty much zero examples of Judau caring about girls in that way at all. Or, in fact, girls caring about him that way.

Roux and Elle's bickering is notably devoid of any 'we want the same guy' aspects. I shall go further and say that Gundam Wiki ascribing Roux as Judau's love interest is bunk: they never once have romantic interactions and there are other good, character-based explanations for them picking the same path at the end. She and Elle butt heads for the same reason there is tension between Roux and the Shangri-La kids from the start. She's more grown-up and more invested in being the grown-up in the room, which rubs everyone else the wrong way.

Elle, meanwhile, does seem to have strong feelings for Judau but whether these should be considered romantic is actually a surprisingly slippery question. That is, obviously that's the natural read in the sense of being completely typical, but there's a sequence in the final episode that positions her feelings slightly differently.

Under a cut due to spoilers and two teenagers slapping each other.

Right before Judau heads out for his climactic confrontation with Haman, Elle tries to talk him down, since he could very well be killed. He won't listen and Beecha tries to make Elle stop, leading to her backhanding him, him slapping her, and the two of them accepting that they can't do anything except be there in the hope Judau will come back home safe.

Setting aside the gender weighting on the slapping, the part that makes Beecha really angry is Elle asking how he can let Judau go alone because, despite Beecha often disliking playing second fiddle to the other boy, he doesn't like the idea of Judau going alone either. It's just at this point, they're down to one other remaining mobile suit and the priority is protecting the ship.

Beecha is clearly miserable about this too and his contribution here is helping Elle come to terms with the situation. What interests me is that this places Elle's emotions on the same level as his, that of a deeply concerned friend who, regardless of their differences, don't want to see any harm come to Judau. Beecha is implied to have (romantic) feelings for Elle and gets annoyed at her paying more attention to Judau, but here he's the one to express the bulk of the shared emotions. In essence, the text renders everything platonic while underscoring how the Shangri-La gang have grown closer over the course of the show.

Either that, or you go the other way and read this as Beecha's jealousy coming from his own crush on Judau, and conclude he and Elle are reaching the same conclusion about a shared romantic connection to a third person. I don't think that's likely as the intention, although who knows? Certainly Judau shows no negative reaction to an earlier comment by Roux about Beecha being cute, so maybe this is another case where polyamory was the solution.

(And if this isn't a perfect summary of what kind of relationship Roux and Judau have, I don't know what is. That's not romance; that's the cosmos' peanut gallery in the making.)

Irrespective, I find it interesting how the show forecloses romantic possibilities around Judau, not by having them hook up with other people ala Fraw (crucially, there's no hint Elle and Beecha actually do form a couple), or by killing them off, but simply by placing the friendship of the group above everything else. At the end, while Kamille and Fa dance on the shore, Judau's big moment is being reunited with his sister ahead of leaving to get some greater perspective on the world.

I do wonder if this is part of Judau being a more immature character than Amuro or Kamille. After all, the point is that he doesn't 'grow up', doesn't shed his driving anger or the idea of trying to save everyone, instead carrying forward the possibility that things can change in spite of all the 'damn adults' who've harmed the world. He manages to embody Amuro's original idealism about the future without succumbing to the sin of 'doing something he can't take back' over the course of the battles he's forced into.

Again, it's either that or we add another tick in the 'asexual protagonists' column, which would also be perfectly groovy.

[ihopesocomic]

hi hello, been following the comic for quite a while now, decided to give it a read after discovering your MP review (i was still a MP fan when i first watched it LOL, pretty embarrassing.) and ive been in love with the comic ever since, i absolutely LOVE how everyone is written, but i really want to talk about the difference between vicious and powerstrike.

both showed the mothers being nice (to some degree) to their daughters, but powerstrike's sudden abusive behavior towards nothing never made sense because, frankly, theres no reason for her to be acting like this other than that shes an ableist turd, and she has a perfectly normal relationship with said person that hurt her daughter... vicious' relationship with jasper on the other hand has been shown to be abusive, and even though vicious is horrible, shes is a victim of jasper's abuse, and her repeating the abuse onto her children comes off as her trying to maintain control over things.

i hate powerstrike, its not even like a love hate thing, shes horribly written and doesnt deserve redemption. on the other hand, i love and hate vicious, she has so much more depths and UGHH the writing in IHS really tugs at my heart, its just so good.

apologies for the ramble, im really looking forward to see where this story goes <3

Thank you so so much, anon!

And yeah, even though Powerstrike was "nice" to Nothing for all but five seconds, we just had to have the insinuation that having a dead kid is better than having a disabled one.

And then there's a whole damned speech in Episode 5, which would absolutely be indefensible in any other circumstance but, for whatever reason, MP fans seem to somehow think Powerstrike's speech somehow translates to her being a victim as well, even though whatever victimhood she has is never explored. She's only shown being quite content with the so-called 'cult' she's stuck in, having positive interactions with Quickmane and so on.

She never defends her disabled daughter (because if she truly cared about Nothing, why didn't she defend her from Quickmane in Episode 5?) nor her remaining son. She also never mentions her dead mate and son once, even though she's shown mourning for her mother, who had not only lived a full life but treated her family as ruthlessly as she did by being a religious zealot.

While the show also portrays Sharptongue as being loving and supportive to the point it completely slips under the viewer's radar, including those who say they don't like the show. Honestly, fuck both Powerstrike and Sharptongue. I can't express that enough. lol

But I feel that's purely a consequence of My Pride trying to make its characters complex and two-dimensional but thinking that a way to do that is to have character motivations that cancel each other out be present at the same time. You can't have a character be an abusive parent and be portrayed as somebody automatically worthy of redemption and 'aww, she loves her punchbag really!'.

You can't have a religious zealot who was cool with a murderer strolling into the family home and kill several members of said family "bc Pride Law lol" while also being portrayed as supportive and kind. It's not only poor writing, it's just weird as all hell.

Instead of being insecure about having 'deep' characters and trying to cram so many things into a character so that your audience doesn't 'miss the memo' (which a lot of them won't because they're not unintelligent), a lot of things can just be left unsaid and the audience can figure it out from there. Like Vicious being an abuse victim. Abuse causes a lot of psychological issues and can warp a person over time. This is very well documented. Boom. We don't really need to say or show anymore.

So, thank you very much for taking a notice, anon. It's always appreciated when these methods we use in the writing pay off! c: - RJ

[sukifoof]

sometimes i think about the way asriel interacts with people and how he seems to believe that theres like. rules to friendship or something of the sort. maybe not Rules exactly but he seems to think there's a Correct way to act. he needs to do everything Right so he can get his Happy Ending. and the thing that really gets me about that is we only see him directly talk to two (2) people and that's chara and frisk. with chara it's like he's desperately trying to be as nice as possible and he just kind of goes along with whatever they say to keep them as a friend, and that only breaks once he feels like he's done something wrong (an example would be when he goes to asgore after getting scared by them). and how he says "i'd Never doubt You chara" despite obviously doubting this plan is so. yeah he's a people pleaser alright.

and Then there's frisk. flowey doesn't seem to see a point in befriending them for several reasons whether it's jealousy or an uncomfortable reminder of who he lost or that they remind him of himself. he talks to them as if he's thinking out loud, talking to himself. the only times he slips back into that persona is when he's trying to get the player to do what he wants like "oh maybe She has the key to your happiness :)" and this is Exactly why he NEVER believes anyone when they're genuinely kind to him. he thinks it MUST be an act because he thinks that's what his kindness is. he's so firm in his belief that he Must be terrible that he could never be genuinely kind or genuinely care about anyone. he's stuck in this cycle of self hatred from grief and his inability to Stop Masking For One Day Of His Life

so then it makes me think really hard about the way he interacts with papyrus. papyrus is really interesting cuz he's genuinely kind without just letting people do whatever they want to him. he has his boundaries and flowey knows how he'd respond to anything he says. and papyrus pretty much goes "wowww cant believe u would say that about urself" whenever anyone's a jerk to him which i'm SURE was amusing to flowey. we don't know much about how they talk to each other but they can probably understand each other's loneliness but i also think a lot about how sans says that flowey gives him praise and predictions. it just makes me wonder if he's Once Again falling back into his people pleaser habits with those he's fond of out of fear of losing them even though he knows how papyrus would react if he Was a jerk

flowey believing he can't feel and that this is so horrible of him is probably a result of him masking his whole life whether it's as the prince or someones friend and going "oh god this isnt really Me... what Is really me and did the Nice me die along with chara???" i just think. he's so unbelievably traumatized and clearly autistic (and probably has ocd tbh) and he doesn't know how to deal with it when he's done something that results in an unhappy end. that's Also why he blames himself so much he just thinks if he just did everything right everything would have turned out right. he's so well written in every aspect and it always makes me happy to see a well written character that i can relate to as someone with both ptsd and autism... thank u flowey i love u

[moonspirit]

hello moon. i’ve been lurking on your page for a long time, never interacted. maybe i can become a regular on here, who knows?

i was hoping you’d do that send a ship thing for aruani.. i found it strange you haven’t done them yet given how clearly obsessed you are with them. you’ve already done them for the lock screen thingy but i wanted to see the rest, it’s like 5AM for you rn.. but maybe your best thoughts are at the ass crack of dawn?

yours truly, behyuu.

Hi behyuu!

Haha, feel free to become a regular on my blog, no problem xD But I had received more than one request for Aruani, so I thought I'd do them all together.

Who said “I love you” first

I think it'd be Armin. From the boat scene in 131, when Annie asks him why he kept visiting her, he really could've said any number of things that wouldn't technically have been false, like "I wanted to make sure you were okay," or "I wanted to tell you what was happening," but he very clearly says "I wanted to see you, Annie." He was blushing like a ripe tomato, and yet he chose to say the one thing that would leave no room for any doubt as to what his feelings were. Armin doesn't hesitate to express himself through words, and with Annie, I believe he'd only take this a few steps further to tell her clearly that what he carries for her is love, nothing less.

Annie herself would not say "I love you" until a long time after they're comfortably together, I feel. She's been denied love all her love, deprived of it to the extent that Armin's barest hints of care were enough for to cling onto, and so being loved and loving back is all going to be so very new to her. She will express it through her body language, but not in words; not very early on in their relationship anyway.

In the long run, I really think this spoken-aloud form of reaffirmation from Armin would be the most beneficial for Annie. As much as physical touch is her way of seeking security, safety and comfort from him, it's also very crucial to be reminded that yes, the person kissing her and loving her body also really does love her, the way he never forgets to say in words.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

I answered this one here!

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Both maybe! If Armin's the one taking a shower first, then he leaves a little "I <3 U" on the mirror for her to find once he's done. Nevermind the fact that by the time she does find it (say she wakes up late and he's already left), it's all maybe mostly gone and runny around the edges, but she knows he left it there for her, and it makes her feel all warm inside.

What if Annie's the one taking the shower tho? In that case, she's brushing her teeth in front of the washbasin and the mirror, messy haired, sleepy eyed and lethargic. As she works the toothbrush between long yawns, she doodles a cat on the mirror that's steaming up from the hot water she's left running in the tub. Later on, Armin finds this cat when he comes in to shave, and he finds it to be the cutest thing ever. Maybe they name each cat she draws.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

I have a hc that Annie's really awkward with gift-giving, so while this doesn't translate into "she doesn't pick good gifts", what it does mean is that her gifts are funny, bordering on cute-as-fuck.

Armin is good with gifts. He buys her things she needs, and throws in some flowers, some chocolate, maybe a plushie and a picnic date. He pays attention to what she likes, what she doesn't like, and this generally means Annie's going to get some of the best gifts ever, whether or not his planning and execution goes to shit because he's so nervous about everything being perfect.

So the one giving him cards with cliche quotes and a leather wallet that the seller tells her is a trendsetter with men, are some of the things Annie gets him. Cut the girl some slack. Her gifts don't suck, they're just cheesy. And he finds it so fucking cute how hard she tries.

Who initiated the first kiss

Armin. It's the pounding heartbeats in their chests, synchronizing. It's the static in the air, sparking and tingling. Her wide pale-blue eyes atop blushing cheeks, locked onto his own in baffled surprise, because he's just told her he loves her and she doesn't understand - why her? Why her, of all the other girls? But that's what his heart wants - her - and he's told her as much and all he can do is hope she feels the same.

But she does. She does, he can see it, right there in her eyes, when her gaze drops lower. She feels the same, he can see it, as her lips part, just a bit, ever so slightly he can almost touch her breath. Then she looks up again, searching his eyes.

He sees his chance, he takes it. Because who knows if there'll be another? He kisses her, long, and slow and sweet, until she's kissing him back with the same longing.

*Aherm* Okay, I got carried away. Basically he kisses her first, but the next time he loses his confidence and doesn't, and then because Annie's impatient as hell, she kisses him second.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Annie. I hc that she's the early bird while he struggles to wake up in the morning in general, so naturally being up first, she gives him a little peck on the nose or on the lips. Sometimes he's so deep asleep he doesn't stir at all. Sometimes he's half-awake and drags her closer for longer kisses, and the hope of sleeping in late with her. Sometimes she kisses him short and brief, when she's aching from dealing with something she doesn't like and hasn't told him about; other times they are fluttery, airy, open mouthed kisses, offering silent, sweet promises of love and happiness from between her lips.

Who starts tickle fights

Armin. He reaaaaaaaalllllyy likes teasing her. Whether that's because she's scowling to hide her embarrassment, or refusing to tell him what she's finding so funny in the magazine she's reading - he's always got his hands ready to grab her around the middle and invite her into a tickle fight. The thing though, is that Annie's laughter isn't because of his actions--she's NOT ticklish by any means--but because of the whole play-fighting itself. His laughter is infectious, and she can't help but follow with her own giggling until she's snorting at his stupid jokes and bright eyes.

Guess who's ACTUALLY ticklish? Him. Once she gains the upper hand and squirms away to straddle his hips, it's all game over.

So he may be the one starting the fights, but he's not the one winning them.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Annie. I just find it more in-character for her to blurt out that he's welcome to join her in the shower. Say they've just come back home after a long and tiring muddy hike, and they're so exhausted they might not have the energy to take showers after each other. It's a casual suggestion, quick and without much thought to it, when Annie says, "Join me then. It'll be quicker."

She might've said that, but once they're actually stripping in the bathroom and getting into the hot waters of the bathtub, Annie's the one burning to the tips of her ears. Doesn't help that Armin's lost all his initial embarrassment and inhibitions and is welcoming her to sit between his legs, pulling her back flush against his chest.

The rest belongs in a smut fic.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Annie. Armin forgets to eat, especially when he's drowning to his neck in documents piling up on his table at work. He's studying up for a meeting on his morning transit, signing off agendas and rescheduling appointments, making six dozen phone calls, holding talks with important people... ugh. He has barely any time to breathe, so his eating habits at work are basically non-existent. During such times when things are more hectic than usual, and it's often a familiar sight to find him coming home with a loosened tie and exhaustion on his face, Annie's the one heading to his workplace with lunch and coffee in her arms. She makes sure he eats, and also eats her own lunch with him, so he's kept company by the only person he can be his silly, goofy self around.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

I'm inclined to say both, it's just that Armin would express it more openly than Annie would. What Armin would be fretting and worrying about is how perfectly the date is going, how smoothly his plans are working out, and so on. He'd be so bothered about every teeny tiny detail and Annie's enjoyment that he wouldn't really be able to relax and enjoy it himself.

Annie on the other hand, would be nervous and scared about disappointing him. It would warm her heart how he sweetly switches to her more exposed side as they're walking down the street, but it also worries her about how expressive she's being, or rather, how much she's lacking in that respect. Disappointing Armin is probably her biggest fear.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Annie. Armin hesitates too much. He looks at the mama spider, looks at her eggs, looks at her babies, thinks of the consequences, thinks of their extended families and their ancestors, their futures, their pasts, their presents, and so on and so forth. It's been six hours and he's ignoring the spider in the bathroom because he's conflicted over killing them.

Annie would kill them (she doesn't like bugs), but because she knows it'll break his heart, she traps them in a special plastic cup she keeps for the spiders and lets them out somewhere far away.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Armin. Even sober, he's always running to give her a big hug with a stupid wide smile on his face, going "Aaaanniiieeeee!!". The happiest golden retriever in the world. Now get that golden retriever drunk to his eyeballs and he won't fucking shut up about how beautiful she is, how big her heart is, how soft she is, how her eyes are like the sky and the sea and other fantastic imagery. He tells her he wants to marry her (even if they're already married), and how he wants to wake up to her presence everyday. In a crowd, it's fucking embarrassing for Annie. Secretly though? She loves it. Replays it in her head over and over again.

[c-is-for-circinate]

I would love to hear more mike wheeler - Steve Harrington masculinity thoughts (also whatever happened to Hopper to make him action guy my beloathed)! Also will we get a mike chapter for and they were married?

Okay yes! I am fascinated by Mike and Steve as narrative contrasts, and I always find myself looking for fic where the two of them meaningfully interact, and I keep meaning to write about them.

(Also: Mike deserves his own chapter of that fic, but he's getting folded into Dustin's. What Mike really deserves is his own fic that takes place in that universe, because I know what his deal is there and it's a doozy, but that is a very different post.)

Anyway! For starters, I don't think that Steve and Mike are intentionally meant to be foils. There's an element of it in the first season, where Steve exists to support Nancy's character, and Nancy and Mike are meant to be foils -- Steve is the Popular Kid, the antithesis of Mike and his friends' little group of nerds, he and Tommy and Carol are written into the same category as Troy but older and less actively murderous, and the fact that Nancy's dating him says things about her -- but they end up occupying oddly similar spaces and cool parallels come out of that anyway.

A core thing about it is that Steve and Mike are both the guy in their respective age group casts on the show. The Guy. The central one, the normal one, the presumed-to-be-straight one -- and yes, this is fandom and we have Opinions about that, but the Duffer brothers think they're both straight, and that matters here. They're white, they're able-bodied, they have money. They are, in a sense, normal.

Narratively, they very often act as central/POV character for scenes they're in, at least once Steve gets past the fistfight in S1 and awakens to the fact that he's a person who can make decisions. And that makes sense, because being The Guy also means they're the closest to the classic TV protagonist archetype, the guy who does the hero shit and gets the girl in the end. Hopper is also The Guy, and always has been: in S1 it's just him and Joyce, but even as we add more adults, the only real challenge to his The Guy status is Bob (which is of course why Bob had to die). Murray is a bizarre conspiracy nut, and queer-coded besides that. Owens is an affable bad guy. Alexei and Dmitri and Yuri are all Russian.

Being The Guy comes with a certain amount of baggage. All three of them have to be romantic leads, and have to be crossed in love about it. All three of them are protectors in one way or another. And all three of them are on occasion assholes who have one hell of a time with sincerity and affection.

And this is where we get into Toxic Masculinity, because again, while I don't think the Duffers intended a pile of parallels between these three guys, well. Firstly, The Guy as an archetype is built on a pile of toxic masculine stereotypes, so that's often there to begin with. Secondly, it's the same writers, so certain themes rhyme whether they're intended to or not.

In particular, one of the core tenets of toxic masculinity, not just in ST but as a thing in the world, is when and where it's acceptable to experience soft emotions of affection, care, and vulnerability. The first rule of toxic masculinity is don't. The second rule, the caveat rule, is a little asterisk saying 'except, occasionally, with a female romantic partner, if you absolutely must.'

And so we actually see a lot of unfolding of this in Steve! One thing we know about Steve, without precisely being told, is that he's deeply lonely -- for a popular kid he sure seems to only have two Actual Friends when the show starts and they hardly seem to even like each other. He has a new Favorite Person every season, and he clings to them with the joy of a devoted golden retriever. His mental image of happily-ever-after is a house full of kids with enough siblings to never get lonely, family vacations about close quarters and spending time together. We never see his parents. For all a lot of the 'horrible abuse' fanon is very much fanon, Steve is inarguably a lonely kid. And where do we see him reaching out for affection?

It's not Tommy and Carol, although until they break up he's constantly in their company unless he's alone with Nancy. They hardly even seem to like each other very much, and yet they've stayed at his empty house enough for Tommy to know about his mother's fireplace and Steve to insist he do laundry while he's here. No, the person who Steve is allowed to feel things with and for is Nancy, because she's the caveat, she's the exception. This is why Steve is consistently focused on getting Nancy back, getting a new girlfriend, getting a date. That's the rule!!!

The really fabulous thing about Steve's arc across the first three seasons, and even into S4, is that this quest for romantic affection and vulnerability is both thwarted and rewarded again and again. He tries to apologize to Nancy, to win her back: by the time he sees her again, Nancy's got a new boyfriend, but Steve has a new brother. Dustin is Steve's favorite person by the start of S3; he gets Steve's haircare secrets, he gets Steve's loyalty, he gets Steve's joy. In S3, Steve tries to pour his whole heart into a different girlfriend, and Robin turns him down flat while also simultaneously opening herself up with such vulnerability that they instantly become best friends. Robin is S4's Favorite Person, but the great thing about these relationships being platonic is that Steve gets to have more than one! He gets to have both Dustin and Robin in his life! He gets the other kids as part of the package! Bit by bit, instead of a girlfriend who Steve is "allowed" to be soft with, Steve gains actual friends who he gets to be real with whether it's allowed or not.

And the really tragic thing about Mike Wheeler is that he's doing the opposite. Mike starts out with three friends, three best friends, absolutely devoted to one another. As kids, they're young enough to be free of most of the stranglehold of toxic masculinity yet, although of course it's starting. And then there's El.

Mike charts a really interesting course over four seasons, and the shape of it is not a straight trajectory from 'Mike adores and is BFF with Will' to 'Mike thinks only about El.' Hell, from what we see of S1, the Party are all best friends pretty equally before Will goes missing -- Lucas is the one ready to break into a government lab for him, not Mike. Mike's trajectory is far more 'I derive the bulk of my personal self-worth from protecting other people, and as soon as somebody needs to be saved I go fully into Paladin Mode, making me feel worthwhile and important." It just so happens that the two people in Mike's field of vision who most generally need protection and saving are Will and El. Which leads to Mike's intense Will-focused devotion in S2 (El is gone but Will is also in really significant need, and Mike just straight-up activates, jumping immediately into solicitously taking care of his friend because Something Needs Doing And I Can Do It). And Mike's intense El-focused devotion in S4, where El needs a literal quest to come and rescue her. And just a lot of Mike in general.

The problem with all of that is the part where, unlike Steve who keeps forging new platonic relationships, Mike keeps neglecting his more and more. The S3 Will fight is so good at illustrating that, because look -- we all know Will has a crush on Mike, but at no point during that fight does Will ask, even subtextually, for romantic attention. He's asking for platonic attention, which Mike is absolutely failing to give. "Where's Dustin right now? You don't know, and you don't even care." But as Mike says, they're not kids any more -- and this is how growing up is supposed to work!

(Note: I don't want to say that it's toxic for Mike to be in love with El, or really caught up in that relationship -- he's fourteen! she's his first girlfriend! he thought she was dead! But Mike's an asshole in S3 because he's caught up enough to not notice his friend's feelings until they explode at him, and yeah, I do think part of that is because he knows he's Not Supposed To.)

S4 is a lot, because here's where we're really seeing the culmination of a lot of what Mike's been unfortunately moving towards. We've hit a point where those vulnerable feelings that Mike's allowed to share, at most, with his girlfriend, feel like too much to even share with his girlfriend. He can't say 'I love you'. He can't even talk to Will. The conversation he does have with Will is honestly mostly about Mike and his feelings of inadequacy, of not measuring up, not being special, but it has to be couched in the context of El. If there's a reverse-Bechdel test to be done on S4, past the very first episode I'm pretty sure Mike fails it -- I don't think he has a single conversation that isn't about his girlfriend in one capacity or another.

In contrast, S4 Steve is, yes, pretty focused on girls-in-general and Nancy-in-specific, and yeah, there's a little bit of backsliding going on there. But he's also having conversations with Robin about her fears and longings, having weird little interludes where Eddie's the one bringing up Nancy rather than Steve himself. He's hurt at the end when Nancy is clearly still with Jonathan, but he's able to move on, to go fold clothes and care about Robin's love life instead of his own -- his optimistic happy ending in S4 is that his best friend is going to get the girl, not him.

I think there's a lot more to say, which I only brushed on briefly here, about other aspects of Mike and Steve that work in parallel or contrast -- their protector thing, which feels very intrinsic but shows up very differently in both of them, the way Steve says 'I love you' so easily and Mike has trouble saying it at all, the way they are both very much extremely normal guys, at least on paper. There's so much to say. I think that has to be a different post.

I will say, in terms of Hopper: Jim Hopper is what it looks like when those pent-up feelings that you aren't allowed to express to anybody other than a romantic partner sit and fester for decades. Fuck, there were things about Vietnam he didn't even tell his wife, that sat like poison both emotional and biological between them. When we meet him in S1, he's processing grief with drugs and drinking and processing fear with rage. He has spent so much of the past four seasons processing fear as rage.

Of course Joyce is the one person he's allowed to, sometimes, on occasion, be soft with. Of course nearly his every interaction with Mike is macho dominance posturing. Of course the entire trajectory of his relationship with El is a push-pull of Hopper retreating into authoritarianism and anger instead of the terror of honesty, and then getting to see the consequences of that when his daughter pulls away. Every season has broken him down a little more that way, but then the yo-yo pulls back (Season 3 whyyyyyyyyy). By Season 4, he's been beaten and starved and frozen and shattered enough that we get maybe the most honest monologue of his life, to a Russian prison guard, because they're about to die so what do the rules matter any more. It's a clear window into an endless pit of self-loathing, because for twenty or thirty years Hopper's been letting those feelings eat in instead of out, and bit by bit they've been devouring him.

El is hope, for him, and Joyce is hope, and the cracks that broke open in Kamchatka to maybe let in a little more air that might not seal right back up again are hope. But it's hard. It's hard! It makes him an absolute asshole, including and especially towards the people he wants most to protect. (And there's that protector thing again.)

Anyway, I am on the record as liking Steve a lot and having very little patience for Mike and Hopper, but like. They're not that different, at their core. They just put the pieces together in a different order.

[apprenticestanheight]

I've seen some fics of these, but I'll never turn down a coffinshipping fic where Strahm has to patch up Hoffman from when Jill uses the Reverse Bear-Trap on him. It's just sweet to me that although they hate each other, they love each other or are rather obsessed with each other, and yet Strahm would stitch up Hoffman's face... even though Hoffman put Strahm through two deadly traps 😆

Cat and Mouse- Hoffstrahm

Hi!! I am so sorry that this took as long as it did--I swear I meant to do it but stuff gets buried really quickly in my inbox and my track record with object permanence is kind of terrible, which definitely applies to requests as a lot of the time they're left to sit until I work through a backlog.

HOWEVER, this is my second coffinshipping fic and in my saw rewatch I am barely halfway into the second movie so I apologize if their characterizations are at all off, I like to think I've nailed my characterization of Hoffman but I haven't written for Strahm very much so my characterization of him might not be perfect and the same goes for how I've written their interactions.

Fic type- this is some light angst

Warnings- mentions of canon-typical saw violence, murder, and this has been edited but not very well--be wary of spelling and grammatical errors, I wrote this while tired and edited it while also tired.

Peter should probably be putting a gun to Mark Hoffmans head, if he's being honest with himself. He should be holding a gun to Marks head and demanding a confession or some kind of acknowledgement of the crimes he'd committed under the Jigsaw alias, but he's not.

He's not because Mark showed up at his house and gestured to a very gruesome looking wound on the side of his face, and when Mark wordlessly asked Peter to stitch him up, before he could think through his response, Peter was agreeing and grabbing a towel and a first aid kit with a needle and thread inside while instructing Mark to sit on the couch.

And then he was wetting the towel with antiseptic to clean the wound, telling Mark he was getting what he deserved when he flinched away or shouted with his discomfort. And then he was actively helping a serial killer.

He recalls the words that Perez had told him once, just before he'd interviewed Jill Tuck that first time.

"You should be careful," she said. "Especially with mostly unsolved cases like this one, that work ethic of yours can turn into obsession real quick. Hatred for someone might as well be able to turn into obsession with the drop of a hat, Peter, so I'd watch myself. Make sure it wasn't an obsession before I kept on with the case."

At the time, Peter had scoffed at the notion. "I'm not becoming obsessed," he'd told her, even pairing it with a smirk, like a smirk could've been convincing. "And if I am, hatred and obsession will prove to be so dangerous a line to walk that I step away anyway. I know that much--I know when to step away from my work."

But, Peter supposes he should've known that he would know when to step away from his work in all aspects except for whichever one concerned Mark Hoffman, who he felt a deep disdain for and yet wanted to know everything about all at once.

Of course the line blurred whenever Mark looked at him, had been particularly blurry as he stitched up a wound caused by one of Hoffmans so-called enemies, Jill fucking Tuck herself.

"She put a trap on me," Mark explains as Peter finishes the stitches. "That fucking bitch put a goddamned trap on me, claiming it was Johns will and all that other shit."

"I really don't want specifics, Hoffman," Peter says dryly. "You put me into two deadly fucking traps, yeah? I don't need to hear about whichever woman you've made an enemy out of, even if I hate her as much as the next person."

Mark smiles at him. Peter doesn't know if he wants to punch him square in the lips or pull him into a kiss so intense it shocks the air out of their lungs.

"You do realize what I have to do if you let me leave this house not in handcuffs, yeah?"

Peter runs his tongue over his teeth, stands up from the crouching position he'd taken while stitching up Hoffmans wound.

"I do," he says. "You're going to go kill a relatively innocent woman because she followed what I am presuming to be the will of John fuckin' Kramer, who was her murderous ex husband who willingly put innocent people to death. Yeah, I think that's easy enough to follow, Hoffman."

Mark stands, grins at Peter.

"You realize that letting me go means the chase continues?"

Peter shrugs. "You'll slow down one of these days, Hoffman. You serial killers always do. When you do get slow I'll catch you and be the one to put your ass behind bars."

Mark looks to his feet, "I really do wish this could've been different," he says.

Peter forces himself to look at the brown color he'd chosen for his curtains.

"You have fifteen seconds to be down the street and turning the corner before I start chasing you and eventually arrest your ass," he says, feeling conflicted as he speaks.

The simple truth is that Mark Hoffman is a serial killer. The simple truth is the fact that Peter should be putting him into handcuffs and bringing him to the station while he declares the Jigsaw killer caught once and for all.

But, when has their relationship ever been simple, really? Peter cannot pinpoint a moment of simplicity from it's beginning.

So, when Mark nods, bolts out the front door, Peter lets him go. He falls into the couch with a monumentally tired sigh and presses his face into the palm of his hand. A few minutes pass, and he laughs to himself.

He and Mark are in a cat and mouse scenario, and while Peter hates it, he also knows that he wouldn't have it any other way.

[randomnameless]

The "i don't want to kill Edelgard" dialogue the game forces you to pick for Byleth in Verdant Wind is still one the funniest things in the game when you think about what that means in-universe; Byleth has had no issues killing people to get what they want all route-long, but the second Claude brings up killing the girl who started the war and is most at fault for everyone that died because of it, including her own soldiers, they say they don't want to, presumably just because they had such a deep bond with her during their time at Garreg Mach (even though it's perfectly possible to have Byleth spend all their time there never interacting with Edelgard once).

It's shit like that that makes me understand where the same-crest attraction people come from; that forced dialogue choice is at least understandable in Silver Snow, where Byleth is forced to teach Edelgard for a while and would have logicaly formed a bond with her because of that, but the only way that line makes any sense in VW is to assume that their crests made them feel a deeply-heightened and accelerated sense of attraction to each other, to the point that the few short and irrelevant interactions they had in their short time together at GM was enough for them to form a deep bond.

Anon,

If same crust attraction was a thing, do you really thing Billy would angst about Supreme Leader in VW, when Nemesis himself pops up at the end of the route???

I mean, between Supreme Leader and Nemesis, who are you going to simp for if you never talked to any of them, and both are leading a faction to destroy you and your allies?

Supreme Leader, or Nemesis??

All jokes aside,

There's, sadly, no Watsonian explanation for the very Doylist "but she lufs u!!! feel sad about her!!!" approach the devs wanted to hamfist in their game : Billy will feel bad for killing Supreme Leader, even if it doesn't make any sense for them to do so because that is why the devs designed FE16 to be : a story where the player will feel bad about killing the red emperor.

(or at least the player avatar, because damn if this completely missed the mark regarding some players lol)

Just like you feel super BaD for icing Randolph and Ferdie who still works with the Empire, fighting side by side with a Demonic Beast - when the game doesn't expect you to feel a thing when you kill the poor sod who was turned into a monster because the Imperial Army needs War Assets.

that's why some people really felt a bit disturbed by all this Supreme Pandering coming out of nowhere - same with Rhea in VW since her supports are optional, so if Billy is really a player avatar, why should they care about Rhea?

(granted, I'd say even if you only do the strict minimum, Billy still wants to help Rhea in the cinematic before falling in a ravine, so at least there's this sign that Billy cares about her - sure, Billy protected and saved Supreme Leader against Kostas, but after the Flamey reveal, we don't have anything to even remotely indicate Billy still cares specially about Supreme Leader : Billy's avatar status is the reason why they're written to care about Supreme Leader, and yet, Billy's character status explain why they care about Rhea - again, another example of the devs wanting to have their cake and eat it too!)

[seaprofound]

there's just something about a woman with snakes for hair... (a psa)

it's been a month or so now since I gushed over the idea of giving Medusa a happy ending and while I do still think that she deserves one—if only in an AU (or something similar)—I've decided to keep the relationship that she has with Po as a tragic one because I am an angst monster.

what made me decide to go this route was the rediscovery—I swear that I got a strange sense of déjà vu—of this vase painting that depicts Po rushing towards Medusa after she's been beheaded while one of her sisters tries to shield Po's eyes from the grisly sight. that made me get just so !!! because Po usually befriends her lovers before ever getting together with them—I say usually because she's not immune to one-night stands (they're just rare)—and, thus, she would dedicate time to them, becoming utterly devoted in the process. because of that, it never made sense to me that Po would seemingly have no reaction to Medusa being slain because when she cares, she cares deeply, and there's nothing she wouldn't do to avenge the ones she loves if they were hurt in any way.

I'll elaborate more on Po's reaction to Medusa's death in the future—but, for now, know that it ate her up inside.

besides my decision to keep Seidusa—yup, this is the ship name I've decided on—tragic, I'm writing this post to discuss another decision that I've made. or, rather, one that I didn't make.

in the days leading up to me writing this post, I came this 🤏 close to writing off interactions with Medusas for good after dealing with years of frustration from the general Greek mythos community—as well as people outside of it—because of the prevailing notion that Ovid's interpretation of Medusa is the true Greek version (it isn't) or, worse, it's the only valid interpretation.

it didn't help that although I've interacted with Medusas that made the sexual encounter between Medusa and Po consensual like the Hesiod version—which is the oldest written version mind you (but that's besides the point)—they all still took elements from Ovid (usually the idea that Medusa was once a beautiful maiden). as a Hesiod!Medusa truther who longs for a Medusa that's scary and unapologetically ugly (albeit still hot if you're a monsterfucker like Po), this desire for such a specific niche drove me to start creating my own Medusa in earnest. I can't wait to tell you all about her because, ugh, she is just so gender tbh. I love her.

( my Medusa is agender, for instance, and she does not give a fuck as to how she's perceived due to a gender neutral upbringing. to her, Medusa is Medusa. )

as my Medusa became a more fleshed out character, I began to wonder what I should do about the Medusas that I've already interacted with (or expressed interest in doing so). on one hand, Medusa is an important character for Po and I've never felt more free than when I started creating my own version of her and really detailing the relationship that she and Po had with each other. on the other hand, I didn't wanna hurt anybody by closing off interactions because I worried that that would come across as callous or as if I thought other interpretations inferior.

that's not the case at all.

I don't mind other interpretations of Medusa. if you wanna write her, go ahead and, by all means, have your fun. I'm not gonna stop you. ultimately, I just wanna have creative freedom in my Medusa retelling—which is why I've decided that my Medusa will be the main Medusa for Po. what this means is that, unless I indicate otherwise, any mention of Medusa will be referring to my Medusa specifically.

what does this mean for other Medusas you may ask? simple. provided that they're NOT purely Ovid-based, I'm still willing to interact.

I have just one caveat if they take a couple of influences from Ovid, though (e.g., such as Medusa originally being human, her stunning beauty—as mentioned before—or the idea that she was once the priestess of Athena which is arguably fanon for it was never directly stated in that passage from the Metamorphoses): Po did not have intercourse with Medusa in Athena's temple.

no shade meant to her male counterpart, Poseidon, but Poseida is different. although Po may have had a bit of a rivalry with Athena at times—a friendly one, though, mind you—she respects her far too much to just. do that.

( Po will stick to flowery meadows, thank you very much. )

TLDR:

Seidusa is tragic once more ( I am the monster, rawr, rawr, rawr )

I created my own Medusa and she will be Po's main Medusa from now on

that said, I'm still willing to interact with other Medusas if they're not purely Ovid-based and, if they're willing to bend on the idea of Medusa and Po having intercourse in Athena's temple if their interpretation takes any cues from Ovid

[maya-matlin]

since we're apparently among the only three people here who don't dislike Zaya...1. why do you think people have more trouble forgiving Zaya for their flaws when basically EVERY Degrassi ship is messy, flawed and complicated?! (Not judging anyone - we all like what we like, and things resonate with us for different reasons, I just find it interesting that people think Zaya is too toxic to forgive while some other Degrassi couples are objective just as messy and even more so) 2. Three Zaya scenes you love that show you they're meant to be? 3. Any songs you associate with Zaya? 4. Name three things Maya and Zig have in common and three differences they have that balance each other out! 5. Want to start a Zaya Appreciation Society with me? We can all share ice cream ;)

There are actually a solid amount of devoted Zaya fans. They're just harder to find. There's a reason I stick with Tumblr. Other places intimidate me and aren't worth the drama.

1.) Personal preference? Other than that, the existence of Campbell Saunders. Just as Zaya's potential romance was picking up steam and forming the foundation for their eventual relationship, Cam killed himself. Zig was the last person to speak to Cam. Regardless of Zig's intent or that during all of their interactions, Cam was the aggressor and the one who initiated all of their conflicts, the only thing the majority of Degrassi fans remember is that Zig pushed Cam over the edge. It never sat right with many viewers that Zig wasn't held more accountable for Cam's death or that Maya was so blasé about Zig's "confession". The writers' intent was clearly to send the message that no one is responsible for a suicide or anyone else's actions. But at the same time, you should still be mindful of others because you never know what's going on in someone else's head. Plus, I don't think Zig's character took quite the trajectory that some fans were expecting. He was supposed to have "learned" from Cam's death, meaning there was an expectation that he'd come away from the experience wiser with an acute awareness of how to navigate situations like this. It turns out, that never really happened. Zig tried his best and meant well, but he continued to be careless with words and was often in over his head. Zig also went on to feud with Maya's next boyfriend, Miles, where he was much more combative and kind of a shit starter. Miles was written with more care than Zig and quickly became the preferred character out of the two starting with season 14 and Next Class. So retroactively, Zig = bad, Miles = good. And lastly, a lot of people can't overlook cheating, even in fiction. While I take the stance that while I hate it, fictional cheating happening in teen dramas is highly likely, others felt too betrayed to continue supporting their relationship. Just overall, different people come away with different interpretations of characters and couples. In my opinion, Miles was far and away Maya's worst love interest and could have never made her happy in the long run even if they were both in heathier mindsets. Comparatively, I think Zig complemented Maya very well, offered constant emotional support and more often than not communicated well with her. Maya never seemed to be as happy with any guy as she was him once they were finally together. Others will tell you Miles was a great boyfriend, most of the things I just listed, and that Zig was a mediocre love interest.

2.) That's super tough to narrow down. I feel like I'm doing this wrong, but..

(1) Zig comforting Maya after Miles screams at her, reassuring her that he knows that she means well

It's the softness for me. It's how after the confusion with the season 13 love triangle and Zig being resistant to Maya's help, he gets it. He's here when she needs him the most. It's funny how for some, Maya and Zig getting together in the second half of season 14 came totally out of nowhere. But even though I didn't expect it when the season was airing, looking back it's very easy to see what was developing and how they were getting closer and closer each episode. Even though the Maya/Miles relationship lingered and Zig could have potentially gotten together with Zoe, those romances didn't pan out. To me, this is when their season 14 arc officially begins.

(2) Zig and Maya making up backstage

Yes, they were fighting and Maya was frustrated with Zig for trying to handle the gang on his own rather than turning Vince in, but he realized on his own (with the help of Damon) what needed to happen. We didn't see the full scene, but Zig clearly apologizes for their earlier conflict and for not initially going to the police. Maya is so forgiving and so prepared to forget the whole thing happened. Like she said. "You're here. We're together." That's literally all that mattered to her. No matter what happened, she was going to stick with Zig. No one can convince me that Maya Matlin wasn't equally and 100% as in love with Zig as he was her.

(3) Zig trying to cheer Maya up

Post bus crash, Maya was in the darkest place she'd ever been in. She was slowly losing all of her personal connections. At this point, it would be difficult to say Zig and Maya were even friends anymore. Their relationship ended in a very painful way with Maya still angry with Zig even months later. They both almost died. Zig entered a very public relationship with Esme. While they had occasional moments where they interacted that reinforced their connection, (in 302 when Zig asked Maya for advice about Esme), overall Zig wasn't part of Maya's life and therefore missed a lot of her warning signs. But, he did notice her on the verge of breaking down in the hallway and instantly knew something was wrong even if he couldn't have imagined the extent of it. So, Zig basically gently forces Maya to open up to him about what's going on. He knows she's struggling with something and isn't happy anymore, so he decides to cheer her up. This is Maya's first genuine smile the entire season. Every other time, she's either faking it or indulging in darker interests that only serve to trigger her more. And Maya clearly feels all the feelings in that moment. Yes, it's easier with Zig and he reminds her of happier times, but it's also very obvious how much she's still in love with him. This isn't technically part of the scene, but in the next episode Maya makes it a point to ask Esme to take care of Zig for her. The only other person we see Maya explicitly request be taken care of after she's gone is her mother. So, it says a lot about the depth of Maya's love for Zig and how much it would mean to her for him to be taken care of after she's gone. Anyways. Zig makes Maya happy and instinctively understands her.

4.) Ugh, I'm the worst at song questions.

It Might Be Love - Latch Key Kid (played during the first time they went to The Dot)

Oh My Love - Layla (played when Maya kisses Zig in season 14, kickstarting their relationship)

The Words You Say - Harrison Storm (played at the end of #YesMeansYes)

Lover - Taylor Swift (I know I'm basic, but it's their song)

5.) Three things Zig and Maya have in common.. they're both loyal, protective people and never afraid to fight for what's right, particularly when it affects someone they care about. I'll count that as two. It's honestly tough to find similarities, as weird as that sounds. They just match each other's energy and tend to be on the same wavelength. I'll say they're both pretty laidback. In spite of the fact they find themselves pulled into drama (especially poor Maya), they typically don't go out of their way to create it. Sometimes certain rivals will bring out that side of them, but overall they're chill people.

As for the differences that balance each other out.. Zig is the more sensitive one. He has a way of being quietly supportive and intuiting things while Maya internalizes a lot of her emotions. She's so desperate for nothing to go wrong that she almost avoids reality. I honestly think Zig grounds her a bit and forces her to be honest with herself. While both have good hearts, Maya is more compassionate and quicker to forgive. Even though it would sometimes be easier to lash out and the people wronging her would 1000% deserve it, Maya avoids conflict for the most part. Zig has never met a physical conflict he didn't want to throw against his locker. He means well, but he struggles with his anger from time to time and can't help but want to defend. Sometimes he's defending himself, other times he's defending the people he cares about. Maya provides a calming influence and encourages Zig to find better, healthier ways to handle his problems. This is so hard LOL. I feel like that's it? Who Maya is and who Zig is and how they interact with each other makes them an unusually good match. This is awful. I apologize.

5.) Absolutely!

[matan4il]

Why I will never give up on Canon Buddie..... Listen I am just a little straight girl who grew up on romance novels. You want Eddie with a women. Well, I mean Vanessa was perfect if you were a writer.

One dare I say she was a better version of Anna and 2 with a little manipulation she could be the girl version of Buck. I mean no one ever could, so don't come for me with pitchforks I just meant in general. She was beautiful, fun, a little heartbroken and didn't add stress to Eddie. Telling the story?? So easy it's a tale as old as time. She shares his culture so let's fake date to throw our tias off. Become friends. Maybe meet Chris. Maybe hesitate to do more because she's jaded and worried it won't work out and how will that effect Chris. Like I have seriously read this story a million times yet the writers never pull the trigger.

My second thing. Again I am a moderately attractive straight single girl. It is not that hard for me to find a relationship. I can throw a rock and find companionship you know?? No disservice to us straights it's just facts. So the fact that the writers intentionally get this wrong while being so loud about the couch screams volumes to me. Especially when you couple it with the fact these 2 do not wing man for each other, talk about sex lives and only refer to the significant other to tell them to dump them. That is the loudest part about their living in each other's back pocket BFF forever relationship. I mean Eddie couldn't even process Buck taking care of himself.

In conclusion 911 if you want me to stop shipping them this all on you. I mean I will never stop. But you could at least try!!

Awww, Nonnie! :D Welcome to the hopeless romantics club! We got comfy cushions for you, as well as cookies. ;)

Regarding Vanessa, yeah. I have seen plenty of rom coms that start off with the exactly interaction she and Eddie had. He's not ready, she's not ready, they come to the date with the intent to let each other down easy, and when they realize they were never an option for the other person, it intrigues them. It could have easily developed in the direction of "instead of going through this repeatedly, how about we fake date to get our Tias off our cases?" and slowly falling for each other. TBH, I wouldn't have been surprised if that's what 911 would go with, since so many shows would. I'm glad it didn't, that the point really was to help Eddie progress on his romantic journey rather than set him up with yet another LI.

I agree with you! I already thought it was eyebrow raising when 911 let Buddie be single throughout the entirety of s3 and a respectable chunk of 4a. Now in s6, they're both once again very single. And we're talking young, good looking, heroic firefighters. It should not be hard for them to find romance, yet out of almost 5 seasons of them being on the show together, roughly 2.5 they spend with both of them being single men. When they're the only single members of the main cast! That is VERY unusual, it's not the route most TV shows would take with their only single characters, you know? That Buck and Eddie are directly responsible for this state of double singleness a part of the time just makes it all more hilarious. XD

I've said it before, I will always ship Buddie. Which means as long as the show is on air and both of their characters are alive, I will hope for canon Buddie. But even if that doesn't happen, Buddie is canon to me. The show has written and filmed their epic love story, and I can't unsee that no matter what. In my head, it will always be just a matter of time before these two morons figure it out.

Thank you so much for this ask, lovely! Have a wonderful day. As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[mushr00mfriend]

Hello!!!!

I just wanted to come on here and say that I love Delirium and your writing!!! It's so amazing how you managed to write such a rich and complex story without having it shoved down your throats or just underperforming. There are many things I loved about Delirium that I could go on and on about but I'm just going to settle on two things.

One is how I loved how Crow was written. Idk how to explain but I love anyone can imagine themselves in it. They are very ambiguous to the point where you can imagine what they would wear and not have to worry about if you can see yourself in them. A little rant incoming, but I've never liked how many authors always had a set image of their mc/reader in mind. This is different if regards their personality (we can't a boring mc can we?) but this is about how the author writes what the mc puts on or describes certain aspects of their body (hair or body) and this always set me off from most stories. Im sure this is such a small thing to get peeved over, but there many people that aren't included in that image of an mc an author has. When I reading Delirium, I was surprised on how Crow's appearance was never really described unless it was clarify wounds or things that happened to them. It's also amazing how Crow still has personality and yet is able to be imagined as anyone! Honestly, thank you for writing Crow/mc so ambiguously, ik this probably something stupid to thank you for but I'll thank you a thousand times for this.

Next would be how you wrote the relationships between the proxies and shades (I'm not if that's the right word) and overall the occupants of the mansion. It's very unique and interesting how you decided to write them actually caring and having fun with each other. A majority of the creepypasta fics I've read mostly involve all the proxies and others absolutely despising each other. Seeing each other as coworkers and nuisances. While I'll admit there are many fics out there that execute this perfectly, it's honestly boring and overused to see the proxies hate each other and yet live in the same house which honestly never made sense to me. Reading how the trio and others look out for each other, viewing them as friends and even family is honestly so astonishing. You managed to write the Slender Mansion trope that was loved for it comedy and crack and turned it into something that was still on crack but had the serious element that comes with serial killers working for an eldritch being so perfectly. It's also crazy how you wrote the characters as well. I mean the main trio in most fics would be written to hate each other and have that "I hate my coworkers but we have funny banter once in awhile". It's funny but I think prefer your version of the trio. In reality, they're just a bunch a mentally ill men who find solace and peace with each other. While they do banter, it's more light-hearted and teasing. How they're written with others is also amazing. The scene with Ben was pure comedy to me. Usually they argue and tell the other to fuck off but seeing how they interacted with him was so cool. I adore how you wrote the proxies and others together and I cannot wait for more.

I literally cannot for Delusion to come out. It's been on my mind for so long I'm pretty its evolved itself into my brain. I do have some questions regarding the story but please don't worry if you can't or won't!

1.) Are the Acts going to focus on something specifically? Is there a clear plot going on? An example could be like Act 1 focusing on Crow adjusting to their new life and then Act 2 being their victims or something else. I'm sorry if this was worded weirdly!!!

2.) Is Kate going to be a main part of the story or just someone who appears in one act? Is she going to put Crow into some trouble? Will Crow feel inclined to live up to her legacy or just feel indifferent?

3.) How are the others (proxy trio and occupants in the mansion) going to react to Crow now being part of the family? Is there going to be resentment towards them joining in? Are they going to be compared to Kate? (I'm not sure if I can ask this but doesn't hurt to try.)

4.) Is Crow going to retain their old personality or just be an empty husk that grows into their personality? Will they keep likes, dislikes or preferences? Or have to learn about their self all over again?

5.) Who are the love interests going to be? Is there going to be little or a lot? Will they come from beyond the Slender Mansion?

I think those are all the questions I have. Please feel free to not answer them if they are spoilers to Delusion or ruin the element of surprise you are planning!!!

I also have some hc's regarding Crow which I'm going to keep short.

1.) I like to think that Crow starts to collect shiny things or just starts to collect in general. Part of their namesake after all.

2.) From what I remember, crows are known to be super intelligent and remember the faces of those who are kind to them. They even give gifts to them. Id like to think that Crow remembers everyone. The ones who were kind, mean, etc. They won't leave gifts but maybe they show in subtle ways that they remember and appreciated it.

This is so long. I'm so sorry if this was super chunky but leaving long comments and asks is my love language to all my favorite authors. I hope you have a good day or night and take care!!!!

I am grabbing you gently by the face and looking you deeply in the eyes before planting a big messy kiss on your forehead!!! I am taking you by the hands and taking you to the aquarium!! We will go to the touch tank and giggle about the rays splashing us with water!!!

I was not expecting such a wonderful dissertation in my inbox! Your words mean so, so much to me. There's so much love and care I've put into Delirium and to see that others are able to get it is frankly, staggering. I'll be honest, I never expected the reception I've gotten on Delirium. Hoped for it, yes certainly! But it was like a pipe dream. Please lend me your ear for the ramble that I will now bestow upon you as a reward for your lovely, lovely words.

Crow was/is my best attempt at ambiguity because I, like you, did not like the heavily intended imprint that other authors put on reader-inserts. Power to them, of course, it's their sandbox-- but as a nonbinary person, The intense fem lean in so many of them really made me uncomfortable. Not to mention the explicit whiteness present in nearly all of them! I've been trying to lend an ear to the BIPOC parts of the fandoms I'm in and one thing that really stood out to me was the fact that many authors don't notice that the way they use descriptors implies that the reader is White. It's because they are White themselves, of course, but it really hit me that internal biases can come out in such subtle ways (is it a bias? Probably not the right word, but I'm more talking about the way one thinks about themself and how it translates into text, with a racial focus).

Then I made a friend who has Alopecia and is bald, or nearly so. And I realized that so many reader fics put emphasis on the presence of hair. This also ties into the BIPOC exclusion, because a lot of that description also implies that the hair is straight or wavy, not curly or coily.

So, I've tried my best to read about it and eliminate those unconscious descriptors from Delirium. I'm certain its not perfect-- most people have hair, for example, and with different textures, so it's hard to not mention hair at least once-- but I tried to give it the best I've got with a vagueness that could imply almost nearly everyone. 

It's harder with personality, with Crow's reactions to things, with the family set up, with the relationship with Cathy (I've gotten lots of comments regarding these); but as you said, no one likes a boring MC, and I'm okay with these things being picked over. They're integral parts of the story I'm writing, after all-- but what Crow looks like? That isn't.

(I'm open to constructive criticism, of course. The internal biases ingrained into us through the dominant culture are deep set and require constant maintenance and vigilance. Learning comes from both the self and others.)

Yes! Yes! The relationships are so important to me!! Gah! I've put these little guys in the spin cycle of my brain for so long!! At this point they have been so blorbo-fied that releasing them back into the wild will certainly lead to their death, so I keep them safe in their enclosures and make them get along :] -- Shades is the right word, by the way! Anyone not a Proxy is a Shade.

The ever-present tension and fighting is interesting, yes, because conflict is tasty-- but as you said, this does not bode well in a living situation. I've done quite a few instances of close living with others for periods of time (camping, mainly), and with many types of people. Some chill and some not. And despite the not-chill ones being there and causing problems, those problems didn't happen all the time. When a group is so big, there comes a point where the members get along because they have to. Social pressure does a lot, but the shared existence does as well. No one is bad or mean all the time.

Now, murderers 'employed' by otherwordly beings is a different barrel of fish, of course. But we treat our crack seriously here. How good is your 'business' of your 'employees' are constantly yelling and beating the shit out of each other in front of the 'customers'? This isn't a Waffle House. It's a respectable manslaughter establishment. This is a Waffle Home.

And here I burst into tears and blubber nonsensically on the floor-- hearing someone say they like my interpretation of the Proxy trio dynamic makes my week. My month. My year. My goddamn lifetime.

"In reality, they're just a bunch a mentally ill men who find solace and peace with each other"

You!! You get it!! You see it!! My tears could replace the ocean. With all they've been through, everything they've seen and experienced together, the horrors they go through every day-- in the end they have each other. They rely on each other. They trust each other. They bicker and banter and argue and fight and after that they put each other back together. They help each other hold their broken pieces. Their relationship is messy and brutal and harrowing and so, so good. Companionship blooms on the battlefield. Devotion flows out the trenches. Fealty coats their bullets. It fills their bunks. It keeps them warm against the icy cold.

Okay, enough weeping.

The scene with Ben was quite important, in my eyes-- from what I remember, there hadn't been any sort of scene with the Proxies and the other's in their Family interacting (Jason isn't part of their Family, to be clear). It's an important scene because it's stage dressing. It shows you what goes on, expands upon the fanon-atypical characterization. To bring back the 'business' metaphor-- the Proxies are like supervisors. They take orders from management (their Lord). They must, then, be at the very least cordial with the workers (Shades) to keep the business operating. In my world, in my interpretation, they're all in the same boat. They're all trying to make it to the end of their shift. They have to work together, they're a team. So, at this point, when everyone's been coworkers for so long, everything just kind of mellows out. They've had their disagreements and arguments, there's been grudges, etc. But everything's chill now.

At least until the new hire arrives. Now that's certain to stir things up :]

Responding to your Crow headcanons wayyyy at the bottom:

1. This is an excellent one because I love trinkets and it's such a fun way to tie into the name symbolically. This is going into the character sheet for sure.

2. Memory is a complicated subject here, but I will say this plays in nicely with what is to come :]

(I'm also always, always rabid for thoughts about my book and it's characters, so feel free to lay more headcanons on me!)

---

As always, I write way too much. Answers to your (wonderful) questions under the readmore:

1. Not weird! There is a clear, overarching plot that builds throughout the book; the 'Acts' are essentially the more minor plot arcs that the characters will go through, the kind that flows into each other and both builds on themselves and that bigger plot behind them. Your examples are quite similar to what I'm thinking! Act 1 will be about Crow adjusting to their new life, yes, but also other things. The other acts, well... You'll see ;]

2. If I say nothing, that's almost like saying something, isn't it? ;]]

3. Resentment, yes, as well as curiosity, anger, eagerness, bitterness, and much more. Some of these feelings will change for the better, some worse. Crow will most certainly be compared to Kate-- they're her replacement, after all. Some won't care about that, and other's will be incredibly hurt.

4. A little bit of both-- Crow will retain parts of themself, and have to relearn many others. Some things will never quite come back, and some new parts will come to light. Think of yourself as you were a year ago. Are you the same? What about five years ago? It's a similar thing if you ignore all the eldritch-bullshit going on.

5. This is a liiiiiitle harder to answer than the others (genuine rant/discussion incoming. Sorry):

 I've been thinking on this exact thing for a long while. I don't really... Have a firm grasp on what romance is or looks like. When I first started this project my goal was for Crow to get all romantical with the Proxy trio (Masky, Hoodie, and Toby) because I thought I wanted them to kiss me on my hot mouth. That was like, seven to eight years ago. Not saying I don't want to mack on em still! Just that my personal life journey has meandered along until I had to take a good, long look at the story and wonder what I wanted it all to say in the end.

There's a lot of hard, heavy topics in Delirium. There's gonna be a lot more in Delusion. We're talking about severely mentally ill serial killers and Lovecraftian horrorterrors here-- it's gonna get pretty ugly. And as I've been pulling together the plot and writing the characters and constructing the end, and thinking about my own life, I realized something.

Romantic love is always placed on a pedestal. It's considered the final destination, the top of the pyramid. It's what everyone wants, what everyone needs to feel complete. To be complete. To be fixed and healed. Not only that-- it's what you should want and need. It's what should fix and heal you. And if you don't-- if it doesn't-- something is terribly, terribly wrong with you.

At least, that's the current zeitgeist (the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time, thanks internet). But that's not really true, is it? It isn't the reality for a lot of people. It isn't for me.

I may be philosophizing and queer theory-ing a little too hard over a Creepypasta reader-insert fanfiction, but it's what I feel. For many real people, and for these characters, romantic love won't save them. It can't. But does one need to be saved? Does one need to be 'fixed' or 'made complete', especially by love? Who says they are broken, or incomplete in the first place? Is that what I really want to say here? Not really.

So there was no romance in Delirium. And if you (I'm using the non-specific, all encompassing you here) are hoping that there will be some in Delusion, I'm not sorry to say there won't be. Not in my opinion, at least. Because, really, there's gonna be parts in Delusion that people can construe as romantic. It's not necessarily un-romantic-- there's gonna be kissing, hand holding, cuddling, sharing clothes, making food for one another, sharing interests, sharing secrets, entwining lives inseparably, etc. Some can argue that these are actions reserved for romantic partners-- but I do all of these things with my friends. Others in real life do as well. What delineates romantic love from platonic love? Sex? Certainly not. People have sex with strangers they'll never see again. Are they in love? Friends with benefits exist. Are they in love? Some married people, when they grow old, stop having sex. Are they no longer in love? Some people don't have sex until after being married. Do they not love each other? Some people date for several months or years before having sex. Were they not in love until then?

Or, more importantly-- did they not care for each other until sex was put in the equation? I think that's something that is-- incorrectly-- tied to sex. That one does not actually care, or trust, until they have sex.

Do you not share your food with your friends? Your secrets? Do you not spend time with your friends? Go out to eat with them, see movies, play games? Do you not share your interests with them? Your art? The vulnerable, fragile sides of you? 

A cat shows you its belly. A dog stares at you, pressed as close to you as possible. A lizard closes its eyes as you watch it. A deer lowers its head to graze. A snail gently rasps its radula against your skin. A caterpillar inches across your finger. A mouse cleans itself in front of you. A crow brings you gifts.

How is that not trust? How is that not care? How is that not love?

I think it's one of the fatal flaws of reader-insert fanfiction. Generally people expect romance with these things. How do I, exactly, essentially, 'advertise' that Delirium and Delusion are an insert fic without an x or /? The ampersand (&) has been making its way through the general ecosphere, but I don't know how well it translates. I don't want to falsely advertise, but at the same time I don't want to miss readers who may genuinely like it, who will read and be satisfied in the end even if there's no true romance.

So, to finish: there will be no love interests. But the original vision stands: Crow will have a deep relationship with Masky, Hoodie, and Toby. They will be close to others as well (that may be spoilers, so I'm keeping it vague).

Thank you, again, for your words. For taking the chance and reading my work. I hope to make Delusion live up to your expectations <3

[leprosycock]

If I’m trying to dip my toes into writing jlud fics, is there anything you think should be highlighted in their dynamic, I’ve never written real people before, so I’m worried they may come off as OOC

i think having a history of writing rpf in general does help you portray real people a little better, but even if you've only written fic based on movies or tv, then you really just have to study and think about the way real people talk. none of it is carefully orchestrated or prewritten or flowery or anything like that. real people use lots of filler words and phrases like "uh", "ah", "um", "like", "yeah", "i mean", "you know", so on and so forth. they stutter. they fumble. j stutters a lot, usually because he talks very quickly and his mouth can't keep up with his brain and he short-circuits when he's placed into unfamiliar situations.

a lot of people make the mistake that lud is inherently domineering and suave and super alpha and he always knows what he's doing, which isn't true. he's able to fake confidence VERY well and he tries to make up a lot of his personality so he can mask his vulnerability and sell himself as a product to others, but he's easily broken through because he wants SO badly to be loved and praised and coddled. at the same time, he also has the capacity to be very cruel and snide and shitty on purpose and he doesn't really care about hurting people's feelings. all of these spawn from him being a miserable, unstable, spoiled manchild. he's very mean to jrma in between glorifying him, constantly diving between these two extremes depending on his mood and what his current perception of jrma is. he acts out and expects everyone to put up with it and doesn't care when people don't. j usually puts up with it no matter what because he hates himself and needs so badly to stay in lud's good graces. unless he sees lud being mean to somebody else. then he'll scold him for it.

they absolutely and thoroughly adore each other and they've been following each other's exploits closely for years. lud has been watching jrma ever since he was at asu and jrma has been watching lud from a similar timeframe. the first time j ever shouted him out and thanked him for raids was all the way back in 2018. they're VERY familiar with each other from a voyeuristic standpoint; j listens to the yard and watches a fuckton of his streams and lud regularly looks up and watches jrma clips along with a bunch of his streams too. they both look up to each other so much. lud looks up to j because he sees him as a mentor, an artist, and a father/teacher figure, and j looks up to lud because he also sees him as an artist and so fucking cool and slick and handsome and he's awed by and jealous of the success he's achieved at such a young age. they both want very, very badly to be liked by each other but their own mental blocks that they have put in place makes it so that they can't see how crazy the other one is about them. j because he can't stand himself, and lud because he's constantly playing 4d chess with everyone in his life.

j is VERY needy, physically and emotionally, when they interact with each other in real life. he doesn't feel the need to interact with others or make more friends. he wants lud to be around him and talk to him and hype him up. and once they do find each other again, they talk easily and comfortably for ages and ages because they have a ton in common. they both seem to ignore the strange obstacles that both of them tend to throw up around each other because it's so much easier to be the best of friends than it is to talk about their feelings at all. they don't admit things to each other. they don't talk about things deeper. they just exist in each other's vicinities and grab at each other and try to steal pieces for themselves.

all in all, watch their streams and see how their relationship has developed over time and listen well. some key streams to watch are the replacement stream, bro v bro, name your price, juiced, beerio kart, and risk, because they're all wildly different and they all uniquely showcase aspects of their relationship that you can pull from.

[noneheref]

[Information; art; pin; very looong]

× About me! ×

Greetings! I don't have much to say.;

I go by He/Them;

My name here is NoneHereF (Shortened: NHF, None]

No, i don't do art commissions.;

My rules here are quite basic:

Keep logical and sense(You still can be silly). I will not tolerate and stay polite if you are being disrespectful and inappropriate, unless this is your character's behaviour in RP. This account shall stay friendly to almost everyone.;

No NSFW, blood is fine, TW and CW must be included in if some sensitive/heavy theme is used;

Might be fine with mention of alcohol, cigs, drugs, but not in huge amounts.;

Do not spam in my ask box completely unrelated things and ADs, please. Feel free to ask questions about me, my OCs or even make interactions of your OCs with me. You can tell stories to my characters or do something to them, but do not overexert nor make a mess out of it.;

★ Not a lot of things, will be updating once something new or i need/want to.

Early warnings for the content i might post here:

All of warnings always written in start of post, but I'll mention 'em.

— Bright colors;

— Gore and blood [either mild, either severe];

— Any other content triggers/warnings will be written in the start of posts, and then added here(if it's a new one);

— You can view my OCs below the udnercut

‡ Atmoshocker ‡

Goes by He/Him;

He is 40 years old;

His height is 6'4''(193 cm);

He never was in any faction, aka Neutral.

His occupation is Officer... Though, he seems to be hiddin' something;

Atmoshocker is mostly neutral towards everyone and everything, yet serious, collected and slightly caring.

He lost his arm in one of battles;

Hia visor is decoration, but also works like glasses;

He was never seen smiling really;

Atmoshocker is after Flatterbang(aka Glowing Hope), because it's a criminal;

Assigned gear: Atmoshocker [Electric Spear];

§ Swation. §

Their info in this post(click).

•Lunar Lamp 'n Healing Potion+

Those two are Best friends with each other!

Lunar Lamp goes by He/Him;

He is 32 years old;

His height is 5'6''(167 cm);

He's a lot interested in science, especially in explosions and pyrotechnics;

His faction right now is Thieves' Den, but he isn't a thief(he's bad at it);

Formerly, he was a scientist for Blackrock, but he decided to abruptly abandon it after seeing Medkit and Subspace incident(because he was in pure horror from such sight). Subspace didn't let him go easily, leaving a medium deep and old dull pink scar on his stomach;

He is enthusiastic, cheerful and friendly, but can be serious during work. Since this is risky to be reckless around with his explosives;

Formerly Lunar Lamp called himself Lunar Lantern. But then he changed it for some reason;

Lunar's crystals are explosive and slightly unstable. They're made from inside of his lamp;

He has fangs, like a cat one;

Assigned gear: Happy New Year Lantern;

Healing Potion goes by He/Them;

He is 28 years old;

His height is 5'8''(172 cm);

He is both in Playground and Lost Temple factions;

They're working as doctor, and really happy to be it and help other demons. Though, he is very tired and exhausted from it;

He is society awkward person, but has a warm heart, he is soft, curios and friendly;

Healing potion has a pet - White elegant pigeon, her name is "Cloud";

Healing Potion doesn't really has any trauma or something like that, but he was few times arguing with Lunar Lamp, leading to something downed;

His crystal are natural, and they're just a crystallized version of liquid inside his potions;

Assigned gear: Healing Potion;

— That's all, i suppose... —

[oopsallshane]

More to discuss! (Part 1) Marnie!! And more specifically, how much I fucking despise Shane's Heart Events!! I will be blunt and say, I do not like how Marnie is written. I feel like her character is all over the place, she really is just treated like some background character. Which would be fine if they didn't also imply her entire personality is just being a woman Lewis blatantly uses and disrespects. Once again, people can have their own understanding and comprehension of Marnie - you can have your own interpretation of her and Shane's relationship and yada yada. I don't really care; I get my mind doesn't work the same as yours. Disclaimer is disclaimer. Same with if you like the drama that ensues when it comes to Shane's heart events, if you're entertained by them that is you. But I think they're very shittily written and blatantly disrespect and disregard his attributes. To each their own. However, My issue with her likes within the vagueness of what her and Shane's relationship is.

Because Marnie is coded to be this very friendly face, her design depicts her as always smiling and cheerful - she is very empathetic towards animals, and she is welcoming of Shane and Jas into her ranch. She is also a bit naive and a bit of a pushover, when it comes to her relationship with Lewis. Clearly, she is a woman going through some things of her own. But she is choppy. Other than being a simple NPC you can interact with via shopping at her ranch, and also her side plot with Lewis, I myself have failed to see any other smidge of her personality. And the impression I get of her is in the heart events with Shane... and they are not good impressions. The first of Shane's heart events where Marnie is featured is at 4 Hearts - where she finds Shane passed out and clearly intoxicated within his room. This is where I blame the writing rather than her - but her reaction is very... stale. She comes in and is mildly uncomfortable before dragging you into the situation. Now, I am not knocking the idea of people accidentally budding into business that is not theirs - events like these have happened in front of me in my lifetime and it is always awkward. Plus, you're the main character anyway - but some events happen without you being present (one with Shane as well??) though that's not fully the mark I'm trying to hit at the moment. Why I knock the writing for this scene is because it just doesn't make any sense, and Mechanics Vs Storytelling start headbutting... Because as she's confronting Shane, she says something along the lines of: "All you ever do is sit in your room and drink." Which is... not true? Visually, Shane is actually never home unless it's on the weekends. Shane is constantly working, that's sort of the point of why he's spiraled into this mess (among other things that aren't touched on that nudge his depression, like the loss of his best friends who were Jas' parents that he never truly touches on.) And when he does drink, he's always seen drinking at the Saloon specifically - or outside, as seen in his first heart event you get with him. But that's just the point of looking at it more literally again. Mechanically, Shane is never at home. But the story is trying to convince me that Shane is a drunken slob at home at all hours. Story wise, I'm supposed to just embrace that as a thing that we just don't see. It's a narrative that you're not supposed to think too deeply about and just take it at face value. But I am... autistic-- So, it rubbed me the wrong way hearing her say this. She could have clarified that she meant whenever he is home, this is what she catches him doing. She could have rephrased herself a lot of different ways, but the specific line implying "this is all you ever do." is a complicated one. That's more so the writing rather than her, as said. She goes on to prod him about his issues as she can clearly see Jas is coming into the room. Once again, this is a realistic event - children coming in to overhear things they really should not have. I can't really complain about this part, as heart breaking as it is, it is a real thing that can happen and has also happened to us. Not pretty.

But the focus is on how much Shane fucks up in this moment.

Because everyone knows Shane goes on to imply, he is off the deep end when it comes to his depression. That he can no longer see a future for himself and heavily states in a sloshed way that he just doesn't want to live for much longer anyway.

His back is turned, and he has no idea Jas is here - but Marnie does. As Jas is... literally standing next to her.

While I don't think Shane should have said something like that - he literally had no idea Jas was there. And was airing things out thinking we were all in solitude. And it's not really his fault, he was being confronted on the spot and also... drunk. And depressed. He's not going to say pleasant things during the confrontation.

Again, the focus is on how much Shane has messed up and it's saddening. He's clearly upset by this and regretful, and Shane being the focus of a scene where it's literally his event isn't what bothers me.

It's the fact Marnie could have also handled things differently.

But my beef is not with this heart event, this one was a mild irritation.