#i don't believe in ''bad people''

[littlemelonberry]

it's okay if you're a really bad friend.

it's okay if you have low empathy and never understand why people can't do things, even though you know they have issues that make things hard.

it's okay to be selfish or distant or unpredictable.

it's okay to not know how to apologize for things.

the only thing you have to do is try. try to apologize, try to understand them, try to make sure they know you care.

maybe you won't succeed - but genuine efforts are gonna be recognized. and remember that sometimes you're a bad friend because you're not being a good friend to yourself, either.

stress and chronic fatigue can make you angry and apathetic and distant. communicate your needs - your friends want to help you. they wanna be good friends, too, so you should let them!

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[acertainmoshke]

I've been having a tough time lately, and when I don't have the energy for everything keeping up with social media is one of the first things I slip on. But I still care about all my writing buddies, so:

Reblog if you're not offended when people take a long time to answer asks, forget to reply to your replies, lag behind in tag games, or skip several weekly ask games.

[originalartblog]

Don't forget to eat to keep the demons at bay

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[firephoenix23]

The Final Color Code

Okay here is the final color code. I will be honest I didn't solve it all but here is what it says

TWO DIMENSIONS TO AND FRO / YOU ALWAYS NO WHICH WAY TO GO / IF YOURE LOST DONT BE AFRAID IN EUCLYDIA / YOUVE GOT IT MADE / RUN TOO FAR RIGHT OF FRAME YOULL APPEAR ON LEFT AGAIN / JUMP TOO HIGH DONT CRY OR FRET / YOULL POP UP FROM THE GROUND I BET / IN THIS PLACE THERE IS NO FEAR LOVED ONES WILL NEVER NEAR / ROLES AND RULES ALWAYS CLEAR / EUCLYDIA WE HOLD YOU DEAR

[linkspooky]

I haven't literally felt this sickened about a character ending since Azula's entire character ended with her chained to a grate and crying and screaming without her brother even lifting her finger to uh, give her a fucking hug or something.

[genericpuff]

There's a user going around currently reblogging/commenting on antiLO content with the intent of "digging up dirt" on people who simply read and enjoy the comic. Basically demanding the OP's of such posts to inform them of any 'stans' so they can add them to a 'list' that they absolutely do not have any good intentions to do with, along with making some very unsavory and completely unwarranted comments about the fans in general (and I don't mean the usual "lmao LO fans are weird/dumb/etc." stuff, I mean genuinely cruel wishes to have the fans of the comic doxxed/harmed/etc.) I have blocked this user for obvious reasons, and if you get a similar reblog or DM like I did from this person, I hope you'll do the same.

Please do not play into this. As much as I and many others talk shit about this dumpster fire of a comic and its questionable if not outright controversial writing and messaging, none of us have any right to go after any of the fans or stans directly. At best that would just be proving to the fans who already hate this part of the fandom that we're boogeymen out to get people, at worst it would be a betrayal to our own integrity as human beings who should be capable of discussing media without turning it into a harassment campaign. Making shitposts about the media and the fandom is fine, discussing the media itself and the creator who made it within our own little spaces of the Internet is ultimately harmless so long as it's managed within reason, but deliberately going out of your way to dig up personal information on innocent people within the fandom for the purpose of ruining their life is not okay and if you ever get to that point where you're trying to rationalize going after people directly, you need to log off.

[thresholdbb]

I have a gripe about the Star Trek mugs...

Picard's teacup is a delicate, fragile little thing held by a strip of plastic and a dream. That thin glass will break if you look at it sideways. And where do they put that ridiculous tiny cup? On the Enterprise, which is always being dragged into conflict

The DS9 raktajino mugs are hefty, wide-based things that are meant to not tip over. They're called no-spill mugs. They have a foam piece on the bottom so they don't slip. They're incredibly sturdy – meant for ships and traveling! Where do they put them? At the station, which is arguably the most stable place they could be cause DS9 rarely gets knocked about.

Far as I'm concerned, Janeway's the only one doing practical space mugs correctly. Come on, a metal travel mug that's as strong as her coffee is black? Takes a beating through 70,000 light years of bridge shakes fighting off the Borg and the Hirogen and still holds a hot drink? Now that's a space mug

[enbeemagical]

normalize being a little bit in love with your friends

normalize being not at all in love with anything

normalize love being confusing and weird as hell

normalize love not being romantic

normalize love not being

normalize not loving

normalize loving in the wrong way

just. normalize being unapologetically yourself

[cattimeswithjellie]

The First Rule

So just a reminder to everybody: the first rule of Hermitcraft fandom on any platform is DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!

I will repeat it for anyone who was skimming the first time.

DO NOT BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE HERMITS!

I'm not sure why this is so hard for some people, especially on Twitter and Reddit, but we on Tumblr are not immune either. The Hermits are people and they are artists and they are entertainers. They are not your punching bags, their are not your parasocial therapists, and they are not mouthpieces for your political causes! Using them for any of these things is NOT OKAY.

The mental health of all the Hermits would probably be improved if they could just go completely private on their social media, only engage with their real-life friends and people they like, but they can't. Social media engagement is required for their work. That means that bellying up to the comment section and demanding they agree with your political opinions is like doing that to the barista at your coffeeshop while they're trying to pull you an espresso. It's totally inappropriate, it's bullying (especially in large numbers) and it's not going to get you what you want, if what you want is good Hermitcraft.

If you want to strike on your blog, that's fine. If you want to try and have nuanced political discussions on a format that only rewards lightning-fast bite size takes, no matter how bad they are, go for it. But the moment, the very instant you start badgering other people to do the same, you're wrong and you need to stop. This applies _especially_ when you know that the people you're badgering are reliant upon their social media for their livelihood. Nobody ever became morally good from what they do on Twitter or Reddit or Tumblr or Tiktok, but a hell of a lot of people have become worse.

[vivika-ka]

Some instances that I feel show how some messages in MHA are detrimental, especially on how victims react to their abuser, can be gauged by responses that tend to be highly prevalent in the fandom.

(Definitely not every fan, but a great majority).

Endeavor is a great example. Whenever you post criticizing his approach to atonement (and ultimately criticizing Horikoshi’s writing), you get BOMBARDED by people either belittling you for not liking his character or essentially forcing you to like his character by frantically writing “at least he tried” arguments.

If I have the CHOICE whether to forgive his character or not, especially given he goes through an atonement arc and not a redemption arc, why is any form of criticism about his abusive behavior and essentially his abuse of power practically ignored by the story unacceptable?

The message was detrimental because people operate on the notion that for victims to be good people, they must forgive and even help their abusers. MHA presents people who choose not to forgive him as either a monster (Toya) or inconvenient (Natsuo). And if they are still unforgiving, they must admire the abuser for doing the bare minimum (taking responsibility; this is also about Natsuo).

Essentially, they are considered "imperfect victims" because they weren't merciful in their approach to their abuser.

The majority of the fandom tends to ignore the lack of actual consequences for Endeavor's actions because he vows to talk to Toya every day. Insisting that doing the bare minimum, which is recognizing his son's existence and suffering, became his "hell" is a wildly fucked up message, in my opinion.

It harps on the issue mentioned above that if a victim isn't receptive to forgiveness or doesn't act "demure," they are seen as an inconvenience—which is how the Todoroki family ultimately views Toya.

On a less critical note, I'll vent, so if you don't like this, just ignore it.

I'm so fucking tired of stories depicting imperfect victims as people who deserve death and torture. Plus, having to be on the brunt of so many people acting like you're morally fucked because you're not impressed with how a writer handled abuse. Horikoshi is not the first writer to try to atone a character who is an abuser (and he isn't the first to fail at that, either).

I'm not about to dick-ride every decision every author makes. Especially if the message convinces some audience members that victims are inherently broken if they can't bring themselves to forgive and/or admire someone who hurt them.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Something interesting I've noticed about conversion stories is many people seem to have both a rebellious streak and a deep-seated, insatiable desire to learn everything.

One of my shul's well-respected members (who runs the hebrew/judaism class that will start soon) talked about how, when he lived in my town, he would sneak out of the house just to go to shul. That's what I'm doing now, and it's funny (I'm not sneaking out per se, but I am also not telling anybody I'm going to shul). There's an aspect of free-spiritedness that I notice in many converts, and it's fascinating to hear each of their stories. And you know the funniest part? They sound like my story.

[ectonurites]

Byler Week Day 5 — Secret Identities

very loosely interpreting the prompt for today but i've had this idea for a while and... secret identities, Superheroes, that works. anyone who knows me well probably could have seen something like this coming LMAO

also trying to draw Robin & Superboy costumes that look thrown together and home-made when i have spent so much time drawing their actual designs was a challenge