#i don't agree with (with the exception for cults and abuse)

[queerorthodoxy]

If you're going to be a Christian you need to acknowledge its history of violence and colonization so you do not continue the violence!!!!

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Getou Suguru x Reader

Suguru Getou:

You have a superiority complex, you're a massive germaphobe and have a soft spot for poor, abused children.

First Date:

You couldn't believe it. You had a date. Not just any date though. One with the hot guy that was a shaman. He was also a cult leader but you were willing to let that slide due to how attractive you found him. The two of you met on PlentyOfSorcerers.com and you hoped that you weren't getting cat fished again. "If he's as good as he looks than I'll let him expand my domain!" You waited for your date just outside your restaurant of choice. "He should be here any minute."

You were wearing casual clothing. The two of you had agreed that it would be better to dress like average people. You didn't want your dates monk attire to attract any unnecessary attention after all. You were looking through the crowd when you felt someone pat you on the back. "Yo ####. You look wonderful." It was Getou. His long hair was memorizing but you gazed down and couldn't help but notice the shirt that he wore.

It was a plain black t-shirt except for the fact that there was a large image of a dragon ball character. Freezer you think? Anyway it was something about an alien committing genocide against monkeys. You were dumbfounded. "... I thought we agreed to dress casual..." He rolled his eyes. "Hey, he's my idol." Geto than questioned where he was taking you. "Why KFC of course."

You noticed his face starting to go pale. "Is something wrong?" He quickly shook his head. "It used to bring me painful memories. But that's all right because now I have you." You couldn't help but smile. You took his hand and walked towards your destination.

The place was packed. Getou groaned. "Why must there be so many monkeys!" He then glanced in your direction. "####, why don't you find us somewhere to sit while I go and order..." He looked tense. He must not enjoy crowds you thought. You kissed him on the cheek and then went to find a place to sit.

Getou then took out his disinfectant and began to spray everyone in line while he made his way to the front. The patrons were choking and gasping for air but who cares about monkeys right? He went to order when he nearly had a heart attack. He recognized the man behind the register. It was none other than Toji Fushiguro. "WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?"

The man was used to angry customers so this wasn't anything special but then he looked up at the the patron in front of him. "Oh? I didn't expect to see you here. Anyway, I owe some gambling debt to Gege so he was kind enough to let me work here and pay it off. I have to support my son after all!" Getou spat at him. "You're a terrible father and you know it!"

"Hmpf. Maybe. But at least I actually fathered my children. Now, what will you be ordering today?"

-------------------------

Getou returned and dropped the tray on the table. "Is everything okay...?" He couldn't wait to leave this place. "It's nothing. Go on, eat!" The two of you ate your food and you noticed that Getou looked somewhat sick. His face was now a shade of green. He decided to answer before you questioned him. "This food tastes worse than curses do!""... And what do curses taste like?"

He then responded "It’s like swallowing a dirty rag that’s been used to clean up shit and vomit." Oh. Well you were definitely letting him pick the place next time. If there would be a next time... It was then that you noticed two small children. "Daddy, daddy! We want crepes!" Getou sighed. "Girls, I thought I told you to wait until I came back home..." Your eye twitched."

Your dating profile didn't say anything about having kids..." He knew he had forgotten something. "Surprise...?" You stood up to leave. "I think we should see other people." He then began to sob into the table. The two girls then hugged their father and asked what was wrong. "I miss my wife (Gojo) girls. I miss her a lot."

[toomanythoughts2]

I can't sleep so have a list of Metalocalypse OCs that I haven't fleshed out but think about all the time. Lot of sibling/extended family coded. I don't have romantic OCs, so sorry.

+ Anja and Aslaug have another miracle baby in their old age and hide it from Toki (Post "Dethfam"). After a year or so, Toki finds out about the baby. He freaks out because he knows the torment that she will endure if no one intervenes, so he files for custody of the child based on past child abuse allegations. Toki ends up having to go through a very long and intimate court session that make him reveal personal and horrific details of his own abuse. He has to go through the trials gaslit by lawyer, facing conflicted fans, and the press all asking for more. The case becomes the case of the century, with every eye watching. Toki ends up winning custody after all of it and gains full custody of a little girl. He ends up raising her with the rest of Dethklok.

+ Toki was a twin. Toki and his sister were separated around 7/8ish when their parents realized they couldn't keep feeding her. She gets sent to the extended family commune to work and eventually become a wife. The parents keep Toki because he is their sole labor force for the mill. When Toki escapes, he goes the commune first to rescue his sister but only finds a grave with her name. He flees from the grave, and goes to America. His sister faked her death at the commune, and once in the grave, dug herself out and went back to her house to get Toki. She found no one and could only assume he died. They don't find each other until 2 decades later when Toki's DNA is matched accidently to a crime scene in Norway, which reveals his sister. They reunited.

+ Toki was a twin. Same as above, except Toki never went to the commune and she never faked her death. Decades go by, Toki fully believes that his sister lost to the cult and will never come back, plus he is afraid of being rejected by her after all this time. He starts getting mysterious letters one day from her, pleading to come to the commune to get her and their cousins out. The head of the family (Grandfather) has gone more insane than usual and is making threats of harming all of them, including the children. Toki, without telling anyone, disguises himself as a parishioner from another sector of the cult to enter into the commune. Charles and the band are worried when Toki disappears and tracks him down the commune. By then, Toki and his siter have executed a plan where they lead the cousins out of the commune and into the woods, where at the edge of it is a boat that they get them into Denmark. Charles and the band meet Toki at the lake, astonished, and help lead the family to Denmark. Unknowingly, the grandfather tracks them in the woods and before all of them go on the boat, he took Toki's sister and threatened to kill her if they all didn't come back. Stuck on what to do, Toki was willing to trade his life for hers, until his grandfather was struck on the back of the head. His mother, Anja, had knocked him out cold, releasing her daughter. She leaves, looking over her children and her nieces and nephews on the boat. Toki and his sister rejoice on the boat, free at least and finally together again.

+ Toki adopts his cousin, thus becoming his daughter. One day, Toki is sent to Charles office. Charles is comber and breaks the bad news to Toki that his entire family, those on the commune, had been the victims of a massacre. His whole family was gone. Obviously distraught, Toki breaks down in tears. Charles consoles him and tells him that the Norwegian police are asking him to come identify the bodies for their records. He agrees to go. He arrives in Norway the next day, and lead to the police station. There, he meticulously identifies each body of his family, including his own mother. At the end, Toki talks to the police, and shares with him details of the event. In one detail, they tell him that they checked all over the commune and show him a labeled map. Toki corrects it, saying that they missed a room. A nursery under the main hall meant to keep young children close when the women were doing their daily chores. The police freak out that they missed and place and go back to the commune, Toki rides along because he wants to see the commune. Once there, they all head into the nursery, and there, alone in a corner, is a baby. No more than a few months old, it's a little girl. She is the sole survivor of the massacre. Once identified by a birth certificate found in a bible in her mother's room, she is brough tot he hospital to be examined. Other than a little hungry, thirsty, and dirty, she was perfectly fine. Toki is then asked if he wants her, as he is the only next of kin. After much deliberation, and a conversation with Charles and the band, he agrees and takes the little girl. He adopts her shortly after and she is known as the only legitimate child of Dethklok.

+ Toki is actually the youngest sibling out of 12, not the only child. Before birth certificates, birth records were written in the family bible. When Toki's mother dies, all of the possessions in the house are inherited to him. At first, he wants to burn it all, but decides against it because he desperately wants answers to his treatment. So slowly, he goes through everything until he comes across the bible and his mother's few diaries. He also comes across a few items that he does not recognize like some old girls clothes and tools with names on them that he didn't know. Looking through the bible revealed that Toki was the last of 12 children and that his siblings before him had all died due to the abuse of his parents. The diary corresponded with the death dates along with names, their duties, and their looks. The items he didn't recognize were theirs. Toki is considered Anja's and Aslaug's miracle child at first, then described as a curse from the devil later on. Toki has the whole plot of his property in Norway searched for the missing 11 children. Once found, all in different areas of the property, Toki rests in the house to process his discoveries. He ends up falling asleep and in his sleep, he meets with his siblings, all of which are grateful for being found and hopefully properly buried soon. Toki wakes up somber but happy.

+ Murderface has a younger cousin that he absolutely adores. She's the only one in the family that he has a good connection to and genuinely gets along with. He gets an invite to her wedding, after never knowing she was seeing someone. He spends the whole day frantically trying to figure out what to wear and what to buy her. The band helps out in comedic fashion with varying results, but they are all just as excited for him. They've never met this girl but they know how much she means to Murderface. After a lot of work, Murderface pulls together a stunning outfit (I'm thinking tight jeans, low buttoned shirt, hairy chest on top, actually groomed hair, and boots. He's a southern man, this is going to be a southern wedding, god damnit.) for the wedding and a perfect gift. (This is where Knubbler and him accidently run into each other and Knubbler is hella attracted to him because holy moly.) He goes to the wedding, expecting to meet the groom and low and behold, his cousin is marrying a woman. Turns out, no one in the family knew about her and the wedding doubled as a coming out party. A majority of Murderface's family left once they realized, but Murderface did not leave. He was having an internal struggle the entire night but he could not deny his cousin his presence. He spends the rest of the night getting plastered with her and his new wife, along with the wife's family. The next morning, Murderface comes stumbling back home, looking a wreck, but ultimately very happy for his cousin. (This is also where Knubbler finds him stumbling along in the hallway and is even more attracted to him.)

+ Murderface had a older sister type neighbor that tragically died at the hands of her father. When Murderface was little, he would often sneak over to his neighbors house to spend time with the older, teenage girl that lived there. She loved Murderface very much and treated him like family. Murderface adored her to his very core. Stella and Thunderbolt considered the girl to be part of their family, as she came over frequently to help Murderface with homework and babysit. This girl has plans of leaving town after high school to become a traveling musician, specifically a bass player. One night, when Murderface is upset and won't just sleep, she ends up taking him to his first ever concert. From there, Murderface wants to play music as well and wants to learn the bass like her, so that when she leaves, she can take him with her. Problem is that the girl lives with her abusive and acholic father that doesn't want her to leave. On the night of her 18th birthday, Murderface sneaks over to deliver her a present along with his bag and bass to leave. She tells him that she can't take him, he has to stay. They get into a huge fight, with Murderface leaving. About halfway home, he feels bad and turns around to apologize. Back at the house, he climbs into her window to find her missing. From the window, he can see her father carrying something large into the fields behind the house. It's her body. He freaks, leaves, and goes home, immediately calling the police. After a lot of confrontation, the police find her and her father. Murderface has to play witness at his trail to get him convicted, which he does. After the trial, he dedicates himself to playing bass professionally, in memory of her and her dream.

[murfpersonalblog]

Murf's AMA: Mayfair Witches

@adamnablelittledevil you sent me such an incredibly lovely & thorough ask that I wanted to address every single point you made. So I'm breaking your PM up into separate AMA-style posts. Thank you SO much!

"And your comments on the stories really help! I don't know if I'll agree with you, but you're able to say something I can completely comprehend without spoilers and give me an idea of how they are, so thank you!"

Any time! Yes, my particular stance on AR's Mayfair books is largely based on my own personal fascination with different IRL conceptions of the afterlife, and how IRL witchcraft/magic/divination/necromancy all fits in wrt communing with the spirits of the dead/undead. So reading The Witching Hour completely rewired my brain--I owe AR a huge debt. Her ghost stories just give me everything I need.

"The way you described Lasher sounds terrifying. 👀 I wonder if it is as bad as Lestat's turning, the story of the twins or the Roman Coven killing the palazzo boys and torturing Armand because those were the darkest moments of TVC for me (I ignore what she pulled on TTOTBT). Is it just as heavy or worse?"

Hrm. It's complicated for me. Like, IMO Armand has hands down THE worst & most sympathetic backstory out of all the TVC characters (except Claudia). Kidnapped & gaslit & brainwashed by a satanic cult, and abandoned by the one person you trusted & loved the most when you failed to meet his ridiculously high standards/expectations.... IMO Armand is the strongest character to have withstood all that for so long and still come out the other side with his soul intact, omg.

As for Lasher, it's the totality of his iron grip over the Mayfairs for 500+ years that makes me personally put his treatment of people on the same/similar level as the Children of Satan.

There's no one Mayfair I feel particularly sadder or better for; it's them as a collective whole. There's things Lasher does to some of the Mayfairs that is just...it's graphic. With Armand it's different, cuz of the heavily romanticized & disjointed way he often tells his story. The gothic horror comes from seeing the ways traumatized people reflect on the bad things that happened to them--Armand's memory is just as spotty as Louis' sometimes; and the way he talks about Marius alllll the way to Blood Communion makes the fandom divided on what we're supposed to do with them.

But with the Mayfairs, there's no sugar-coating the carnage or softening/obfuscating the blows at all--AR describes things viscerally & graphically & explicitly in a way that you CANNOT excuse Lasher for. Even at the end of Lasher, when they "Let the devil speak his story," the prophecy (AR's Word of God) has already decided that his pretty words & excuses & tragic backstory don't effing matter in the end--he WILL be killed. Cuz he is 100% a PREDATOR, NOT a problematic love interest with abusive/grooming tendencies (a la Lestat & Marius).

Like, the vast majority of the TVC/IWTV fandom laughs at incest wrt Lestat & Gabrielle, cuz Lestat romanticizes so much of his trauma that it's hard sometimes to take it seriously. But incest with the Mayfairs is no laughing matter. It's sheer horror that's supposed to make you darn near physically ill reading about how much Lasher's twisted & manipulated everything. He's a MONSTER, eff how much he cries.

Granted, I still think the Mayfairs were awful immoral people, in ways that I don't see Armand. Unlike a brainwashed cult member, the Mayfairs KNEW Lasher was evil and that everything he gave them was tainted by his evil deeds. They call him the Devil. Unlike the Twins, they didn't control spirits ethically, in order to help their community and work towards the betterment of their society--they controlled Lasher selfishly, in order to gain riches & power. They think they can outsmart him, and pay the price.

But because they're women, they're vulnerable by default, as they lived during the Middle Ages & Tudor period & all these other times when women were being systemically persecuted by the Church; and then domestically oppressed at home as their husbands had full legal control over their bodies AND their money. The Mayfair designees completely buck the system; they're entirely matriarchal, but their power STILL comes from a demonic patriarch. So I sympathize with the lengths they felt they needed to go to, to remain at the top of the social pyramid--even if they were slaves to their greedy desires, and slaves to Lasher, as he manipulated them into thinking it was the reverse. They're victims and villains, in the best & worst of ways that always makes AR's characters so dang complex & interesting.

I think what happens to them is beyond effed up, but sometimes certain witches (*cough* Margueritte, Julien, Rowan, etc) I feel kinda deserved it???? But not even, cuz there's so much incest & mental illness in their family too, which makes me go Dang! They're not right in the head, so is it even fair to even blame them for all this? And ofc a ghost is LITERALLY manipulating them. But at what point does personal responsibility & accountability come in, esp. for Rowan?

Like, even Carlotta's evil arse has a lot in common with Coven Master Armand's most extreme(ly bad) actions--someone I absolutely love. So why do I hate her? When really, she was right all along! Her extremist draconian methods SUCKED; but if she got The Witch Carlotta book the way we got TVA, would my opinion of her change? More than likely! (Unless it was more like Blood & Gold, in which case....bye Felicia. 🙄😒)

So yeah, I see the Mayfairs as very similar to the Children of Satan, but flipped--they worship the Devil to get rich; NOT cuz they think they're inherently evil & deserve to suffer (a la Armand & the other vampires).

[bornofhumanhate]

Okay but you bring up how they can send people hate so casually, and I’m going to point out myself that like…the whole anti crowd is very cult-like. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way either, I mean literally

��Illegal or dangerous behaviors” (sending hate, death threats, all sorts of horrible things, stalking, etc.), “unquestioning faith” (every anti i’ve seen seems to really believe they’re in the right), “isolation and abuse of members” (i just fucking KNOW the anti space is a breeding ground for grooming and abuse. it reeks of “we’re better than those other guys. We’re the GOOD ones, so you can trust us :)” but if you say something out of line you’ll be targeted next. and i’m worried for the amount of antis who are minors and get deep into it), exclusivism (again, the whole “we’re right and anyone else who says otherwise is wrong and bad and deserves to die”)

The only missing characteristic I can think of is that the anti crowd lacks an authoritative leader, except anti space is already authoritative by default and the ‘leaders’ are anyone in the crowd with a lot of followers who they can influence

Not only is it incredibly frustrating what they do, it’s incredibly worrying :( i mean, every crowd has bad apples, but you can’t really compare proshippers (people who simply want to be left alone and enjoy fandom in peace) to antishippers (people who actively go out of their way to harm real people and prioritize fiction and objects over them in the name of survivors who don’t want that, which includes me)

I don't have anything to add to this. I agree with you.

[witchthewriter]

💀👯📺📚✨🐐🗡️🧇🧨🧤.

You don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to. I hope you are having a lovely day.

I wanna say thank you to @brilligbroilledbooks for coming up with this!

Of course, I want to answer them! Thank you for taking the time to send in the ask! Also, I'm not sure if all the questions are in relation to the Grishaverse??? So I'm just going with whatever...I want lol oops

💀 Favorite villain?

I mean The Darkling was a pretty good goddamn villain but the best ones are when you start to agree with them. When their perspective starts making sense, that's when you know you have a good villain. So with that being said, I guess ... the Joker? I mean the Darkling is a DAMN good villain, so yeah he will always be one of my favourites. But also I love a good female villain so Jennifer Check from Jennifer's Body?

"Jennifer! You're killing people!"

"No, I'm killing boys-"

It really is a cult classic.

👯Favorite ships/duos/dynamics (friendships are also ships!)?

Me & Money (lol just kidding...👀), Katniss & Peeta, Nat & Wanda, Nikolai & Zoya, Jesper & Nikolai, Buffy & Faith, Sansa & Dany, Sansa & Margaery. These are all romantic ones though - friendship ones are; Inej & Nina, Genya, Alina & Zoya, Buffy & Willow, and Peeta & Finnick.

📺Favorite tv show quote/scene?

I think would have to be Carmy's scene in The Bear, when he's at the AA meeting and finally opens up. I just related so much, he says he didn't have friends growing up, he had a stutter, never had a girlfriend...here's the scene if you want to watch it. Trigger Warning though! And then at the end of the series ... god I don't want to spoil it for you, but I have never cried and laughed so loudly and so much at the same time.

For Grishaverse -

When Jesper and Kaz are taken to see Dresden (or whatever his name is) but it's really to see Nikolai and just ... god the interaction, the witty banter. Kaz's side eye with Jesper about knowing about him being a durast.

📚 Favorite book quote/scene?

In William Shakespeare's play, 'Much Ado About Nothing,' the scene where Beatrice and Benedick are talking and she yells, "O if I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace!" (Here's the scene if you want to check it out). I got it tattooed actually, except it says "I'll eat his heart in the marketplace." To me, in the play, it means the social constructs are obstructing Beatrice from standing up for her cousin, but my tattoo means ... f*ck the social norm, f*ck tradition - I can and I will call anyone out. Let me know if anyone wants to see the tattoo... if no one cares, that's totally chill as well lol

For Grishaverse -

My favourite quote would be Genya talking about her abuse from the King. It's so much more hard-hitting than in the tv show. I cried and cried while reading it. Because I think the King was still alive, and she got to say it to his face while Nikolai was there as well.

✨Which Grisha order would you belong to?

Oh my god! I'm always thinking about this. On one hand, I would love to be a summoner, but one that doesn't exist - I wanna be the main character like that tehe oops. But then again, being a durast would come in handy!!! But then there's also being a Heartrender, and no one can survive without their heart so I just want to be the most powerful 👀

🐐Who/what is your emotional support goat?

Jesper - whenever I feel overwhelmed, I'm like 'Jesper would be laughing right now, I need to chill.' But also my pets - Baloo (my lab cross rottie) and Silly (my cat who is currently asleep on my bed). Also...The Hunger Games series is my emotional support movies??? I think that says a lot about me ...

🗡️Wraith, what are your knives' names? (Moral principles that you value - yes, also name the knives)

I would name my knives like they name their swords in Game of Thrones.

Maiden Death

Fate's End

Vicious Hope

...Bad Luck

My moral principles are:

Everyone is equal and has equal opportunities (except for those who have done unforgivable things - that's a whole other discussion).

I think we should Eat the Rich - no one needs that much money

Water should always be free - everywhere

Abortions need to be legal and accessible (everywhere and without hassle)

Religion has no place in government

Marriage equality is an obvious yes - I can't believe we're still arguing about this

Guns need to be banned

Education is free, yes that includes university degrees

Medical care also needs to be free as well

Okay so that turned into opinions rather than principles...

🧇Heartrender, if you had to betray your country for food what would it be?

Okay so I don't know if you guys have these outside of Australia but we have these chocolate bars called Picnics. They're a wafer covered in caramel, then nuts with Cadbury chocolate. They're what waffles are to Nina - I would eat these for the rest of my life. I can easily eat a bag of 12 in less than 30 minutes. They're ... delectable. I'm actually eating them right now ahahah oh my god

🧨Demo-expert, how do you code your experiments? (Favorite hobby)

My fav hobby is ... this. It's this account, writing for you guys, making moodboards, researching astrology signs, mbti, pair ups, headcanons. This, as well as learning about witchcraft and tarot. Reading, and extending my writing abilities.

🧤Dirtyhands, what's your weakness?

Um... being ridiculed/insulted. But also talk sh*t get hit amirite ladies?! I think it's being rejected, looked down on, and thought of as disgusting. That's my weakness. But if we're talking...how would the enemy get me to do anything, it would probably be kidnaping my family???

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I honestly don't really see a reason to fight others about what they think about p-shifters

Yes I've argued in the past

But like at the end of the day I don't know you, you don't know me, and i will most likely not interact with you again

people call p-shifters cultists. But like, we don't call ourselves cultists without good reason. We don't even call each other or ourselves p-shifters inside our own groups. Most of yall just see the word p-shifter and automatically assume, so please block me lol. I'm not going to talk with people who don't accept me, period lmao. (As in, block me if you are actively going against those who call themselves p-shifters ty)

We just are animals. That's it, we are just who we are. We aren't spending ages talking and arguing about how p-shifting works and running around in circles arguing usually.

It usually just consists of "Look i found this cool thing out!" and others will go ":0000" and then talk about tarot cards or the weather or something lol. Or there will be analysis, but either way we are just living and communicating with those who agree with us when it comes to our identity.

Most of those who are actually cultists are immature, childish adults who have nothing better to do with their lives usually then fight with teenagers and make more rules on how to exist within your identity. We ignore them and don't give them a platform, then its done for (usually again).

Tbh i feel like a lot of people don't realize that our communities (alterhuman and physical nonhumans) are nearly identical, except of one fact that we have been arguing over since the internet has existed. Like... 20 years.

None of us really don't care anymore if you continue to make warnings about how abusive or cult-like we are, when we know we aren't 🤷

I mean like there are and will always be those who pipe up in defense for us, and I honestly really appreciate it. I don't like being perceived as a cultists or an evil person because I identify with something 💀

Its just a known fact that we aren't accepted outside of our small community (which allows cults to grow in mass because some feel completely unsafe otherwise without that one group) but we deal with it anyways.

We find others like us and giggle about it, maybe share some help with others about being able to master some shifts better or puzzle slme identitystuff out, then we are on our way. We don't group for long periods of time in the shifter community lol.

Also, did you know that therian meant the same thing in the really early days? Like therians now, and physical nonhumans, they all called themselves therians. We still have old guides on how to shift referring to therians instead of shifters.

Regardless, I like mrrping on the internet and decided i would ramble a few more times to you guys.

[sjsmith56]

Contact - Chapter 7, Finding Jade

Summary: Ma senses a familiar presence searching for Jade and decides to reveal the real connection between the two. Bucky tries to calm an upset Jade after she experiences a flashback of child sexual abuse. Realizing that her own father enabled Elder Abraham as a pedophile Jade vows vengeance. The Avengers agree to go after the cult but only to turn them over, which doesn’t satisfy Jade.

Length: 3.6K

Characters: Everyone is in this, except for Ben.

Warnings: Flashback of sexual abuse, disagreement between Jade and the others, desire for vengeance.

Author notes: As Ma recognizes who has been looking for Jade she realizes she has to reveal her true relationship with Jade. It sets the stage for much of what will come, including the close relationship she will develop with Bucky.

<<Chapter 6

🏜️

Ma, Wanda, and Jade did another practice session to lure one of the Others away from its nest. They pulled this one quite a distance to see how far before the sentries followed. As soon as they were out of visual range two sentries came looking for the wayward creature and they released him.

"Well, as long as we don't take them out of visual range of the nest we can take him quite a ways," said Ma. "How fast do they move at top speed?"

"About 30 mph," said Bucky, who had been observing the session. "I don't know if they do that speed in the exo-suits. That distance today was what, about half a mile? That doesn't give you very long to get away if they come searching."

"No, it doesn't," said Ma. "It's almost certain we'll need a distraction to get away."

She stopped talking for a moment and something flickered over her face, recognition, or a bit of fear...Jade sent her mother a thought.

"Ma, what's wrong?" she asked. "You felt something."

"You didn't," she said, "and that has me worried. Someone is looking for you. I think you should shut down all of your abilities for the next while. Don't use any of them until we do the mission."

"Ma, tell me what you saw," said Jade, worried.

Her mother turned directly to her. "I have something to tell you," she said openly. "Go get Bruce and Steve. They should hear this. Bucky, Wanda, you come also. I'll be in my room."

Jade found the others and brought them to Ma's room. They sat on the couch and chairs while she sat on the edge of the bed. Nervously, she clasped and unclasped her hands. Then she looked at Jade.

"What do you remember of your mother?" she asked.

"Just a presence," said Jade. "No face or voice."

"And your father?" asked Ma.

"A tall man, blond, could ride a horse, and he cried when he left me in the Badlands," she said.

"He was upset," she said. "You weren't the first member of his family to be cast out. His wife was the first, a year before because of her psychic abilities. She stayed nearby though because she was concerned about their daughter, who had exhibited the same abilities that both parents had, except your father hid his. On the day he took you out to the Badlands he sent a thought message to his wife and told her where he left their daughter so she could find her and take her to safety. Except the wife had a medical incident. A migraine so bad that she thought she was having an aneurysm. Her friend called an ambulance and they kept her in the hospital for two days, until she snuck out and drove to where her husband said he had left their daughter. She wasn't there. For another two days your mother looked everywhere for you, finally finding you at the base of a hoodoo. You were almost dead and she thought she lost you."

Ma started crying and Bucky stood up to hold her. "You're Jade's mother," he said gently, his eyes full of concern, "her real mother."

She nodded and wept into his chest. Jade's eyes were full of tears but she said nothing, and offered no comfort to Ma. Patiently, she waited for Ma to speak.

"I was a nurse and I bought some IV fluids and I treated you at home for dehydration and exposure," she said. "Gently I went in and removed my face from your previous memories. I wanted you to have a fresh start and forget that I had no choice but to leave you there. I hated them for what they did to you, a six year old. I hated your father for staying with them, choosing them over you. But the leader, Elder Abraham, had such a hold on him, I was surprised John even dared to tell me where you were."

"Why now, Ma?" asked Jade. "Why tell me now, instead of years ago?"

"I tried to tell you, many times," she said, looking at her daughter with a fearful face. "But I was afraid you would leave me and take Ben, and you two were all I had. We were so happy and I was terrified you would hate me."

"Ma," said Jade, standing in front of her mother, "I can never hate you. You saved me. You showed me how to use my gift, how to be a good mom, how to love a good man. I just wish you had trusted me and told me the truth sooner. Your future knowledge is better than mine. What have you seen that pushed you past your fear of telling me?"

"Two things. The Others will take me and I won't be here to protect you," she said. "Wanda will try, the others will try but it might not be enough to keep the Children of Adam from taking you."

"When will the Others take you?" asked Bucky.

"On the mission," she said. "They will come for the one we're examining and I won't be able to hold the illusion long enough for me to get on the horse. Bruce and Peter will get away because I'm the human they want."

"That's why you were trying to extend the distance," said Steve, "to buy yourself more time. What's the second thing?"

"The presence that was looking for you in Albuquerque was your father, Jade," said Ma. "He's still with Elder Abraham and they want you back. They want you back to marry Abraham and become the mother of their cult. They think because you survived the wilderness you proved your divinity. In their minds you will save them, and only them from the Others. You can never go back there. Bucky, you have to protect her. Don't let them have her. I'm not afraid of dying as long as I know Jade and Ben are safe. But right now it's fifty / fifty that I'll die."

"Wait," said Steve. "This isn't a sure thing?"

"Nothing in the future ever is," said Ma. "There's always a chance it works out differently."

"We need Dr. Strange," said Bruce. "Surely, he must still be alive. Wanda, when was the last time you tried making contact?"

"About a year ago," she said. "He wasn't showing up on any of my visions. I've had no visions about Jade or her mother, either. It's like there's a blank spot over them."

"Who's Dr. Strange?" asked Jade.

"Sorcerer Supreme," said Bucky. "He was a neurosurgeon who was injured and learned to harness magical abilities including the ability to look forward into time, into all possible futures."

Jade frowned. "Does he wear a red cape?" she asked. "Blue suit?"

All three men and Wanda stood up. "Yes," said Steve. "Why?"

"I dreamed of him," said Jade. "While I was in the Badlands, dying. He came to me in a dream. Why can't I remember what he said?"

She stood there pressing her hands to her head. Wanda walked to her.

"May I?" she asked.

Jade nodded and Wanda put her fingers on Jade's temple and closed her eyes. Together the two women saw the vision that Jade had dreamed when she was delirious with pain in the Badlands.

"Touch either Jade or myself if you want to see this," said Wanda.

All three men touched one of the women while Ma used her own abilities.

"I'm dying Ma, they killed me," moaned Jade, as she lay face down in the dirt.

"You're not dead yet," said a man.

Jade looked up and saw a man in a red cape. "Who are you?"

"Dr. Stephen Strange," he said. "I'm here to make sure you get to the Bunker and give the Avengers a message."

He bent down over her and gently laid her on her back, lifting her shirt and seeing the wound. Shaking his head he waved his hands over it and the wound closed.

"That will have to do for now," he said. "Long enough to get seen by the dog, anyways. Now listen carefully. What you and your mother propose is what we're trying in our bunker in Canada. That's why I haven't been answering the call. I've needed all my attention on this. Don't you try it until I get back to you. It's a good idea but all sorts of things can go wrong. Oh, and tell Steve, welcome back. I'm sorry about Peggy. Tell Bucky, I'm sorry about Lily. Tell Peter that Aunt May is safe. They must look after you, Jade, you're the key."

The dream ended and everyone stood back. No one said anything at first.

"So does that mean the mission is on hold?" asked Ma.

"I guess so," said Steve. "He was pretty specific about waiting."

Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act.

    Paulo Coehlo

The meeting in the common room to share Jade's vision was ... interesting. Peter was happy to hear his Aunt May was safe, at least she was a few weeks previous when Jade first had the vision. Clint thought it was a little convenient to just remember now about the vision.

"I was dying, Clint," said Jade. "Ask Bruce if you don't believe me. Plus I was delirious. I saw Death sitting on the back seat in the car waiting for me. It didn't even click for me until Bruce mentioned Strange's name and it sounded familiar."

He nodded and said sorry for seeming angry. Scott had an unrelated question.

"How many queens are there?" he said.

"I would guess it's like a bee hive, each nest has a queen?" said Jade. "I don't know much about bee hives."

"You're partially right," said Sam. "Each hive has a queen but without a queen they die. I think this queen has many nests that support her. The other part of your meeting, about Ma being your real mother. Don't you find it a little too coincidental that you survived four days in the Badlands when you were six and again just a few weeks ago for several days when you were almost dead? You're not a big person, you're quite slender. How did you manage to survive at all? Other than Dr. Strange's intervention."

"What do you mean Sam?" asked Bucky. "Do you think divine intervention was at play here?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But the cult seems to think so if they're looking for her."

"Strange said Jade is the key," said Ma. "It was her that first heard the queen. I think right now we make sure the cult don't get their hands on her."

Everybody agreed with that assessment. The meeting broke up and Jade ran out of the room. Ma watched her leave and bowed her head, wondering if she had damaged the relationship with her daughter forever. Bucky looked at her, gave a grim smile, and left to find Jade. He found her in the garage with the horses. Standing in the doorway he watched her gently stroking their necks, being nudged by them as she connected to their minds.

"You shouldn't be using your gift right now," he said. "If it leads the cult to you..."

She looked at him. "They're afraid," she said. "They can sense when there's danger and it's close already. Why me, Bucky? Why am I the key?"

He stepped forward but she stepped back behind the first horse. "Don't," she said softly. "You're not the one who the Others want, who the cult wants. It's a curse. It's always been a curse. I either die or be raped by a creepy old preacher."

"I won't let that happen," he said, stepping slowly forward. "I'll steal the quinjet and take you and Ben far away to where no one will ever find us. Ma, too, if you want her to come. Please, come to me."

She pushed her face into the horse so he wouldn't see her cry. He was almost to the first horse and it nickered softly at him.

"It's okay," he murmured, to her and to it, as he stroked its neck. "I won't hurt you. I only want to take care of you."

He was right in front of her between the two horses and he gently took her hand, pulling her to him. Enclosing her with his arms he pulled her into his chest and bent his head over hers. Slowly he took a step back with her, then another and another until they were away from the horses. Then he lifted her in his arms and took her to their room where he laid her on the bed and covered her up with the duvet before laying beside her on top of it.

"Just sleep, baby," he whispered. "I'm here with you until you sleep. No one can get past me to you."

She could feel his warmth through the duvet and it soothed her, feeling like a heater aimed at her back. As he kept whispering in his calm voice she closed her eyes and slept.

"Well there you are sunshine," said her father. "Where have you been hiding? Elder Abraham wants to see you."

Six year old Jade came out from the closet in her room. She had been hiding because she knew Elder Abraham was looking for her. She didn't like him. Not since that day when he put his hand down her shirt and touched her chest. She had tried to pull away but his other hand was on her back and he kept her close to him, too close to him.

"I don't want to see him Daddy," she whined. "He smells funny."

"Sshh, baby, he's our pastor, our leader," he said. "He's a great man and he thinks you're very important."

"No," she said and she refused to move. "Why can't you see that he's a liar? He's bad, Daddy. He touched me in a private place. Mom said he's a pedo something. Don't make me see him."

"Your Mom was cast out," he said sternly. "We don't say her name anymore. You shouldn't be saying lies about Elder Abraham. That's wicked and you can go to Hell for being wicked."

"Then I'll go to Hell!" screamed Jade. "Daddy, don't! NO!"

Bucky felt Jade tense up and start to shake as if she was trying to pull herself away from someone or something. He tried to wake her up but she resisted until she sat up screaming. Pulling her into his arms he stroked her hair and back as she wept.

"He was a pedophile," she spat out, as she cried, "the whole cult, they were following a pedophile. I wouldn't submit to him so he called me wicked, cursed, an abomination, and he cast me out. My father chose him over me. Oh, Bucky, I'm terrified. They're going to find me and make me join them. We have to stop them."

As he calmed her down Bucky's mind whirled with ideas on dealing with the cult for the other Avengers to consider. They couldn't go after the Others until Dr. Strange contacted them. But they could have another mission. To find and disband the Children of Adam and put Elder Abraham behind bars. He heard a knock on their suite door. Opening it he saw Wanda and Ma, both with a worried look on their faces. Looking behind him, he closed the door and stepped out into the hallway.

"You know what she dreamed of?" he asked.

"I know," said Ma. "I reported them when I was cast out but they put on such a pious show of lies that the police brushed it off."

"She's terrified they're going to force her to join them," said Bucky.

"She's right to be," said Wanda. "I had a vision. It was dark, very dark. This cult is evil. They want her to have Abraham's child so that it has her powers and he'll use the child to bring about an apocalypse, using the Others to kill those who don't submit. They'll use Jade and the child to shield them from the Others. They have gold, lots of it. That's why the traffickers offered you gold for Jade. He's got them all looking for her."

"I won't let them take her," he said. "I'll take the quinjet and take her far away."

"It won't be far enough," said Ma, sadly. "John has a link with her now, a tenuous one but he can build it. Eventually they will find you and take her from you, over your dead body if they have to."

The door opened behind Bucky to reveal Jade standing there.

"If you're going to talk about me you might as well do it to my face," she said, turning back into the room but leaving the door open.

The others followed her in where she stood facing them in the centre of the room.

"We have to stop them," she said. "Not just to keep them from taking me but for the kids they are abusing now. Abraham is a monster with an appetite for children. I can't stay here knowing that he's alive."

"You want him dead?" asked Bucky. "Jade, I won't kill. No matter what he's done, I'm not a killer anymore."

"Then I'll kill him," she said. "Wanda, Ma, I need to up my abilities. If they take me they will bring me to him. I'll be close enough to kill him."

Bucky tried to intervene.

"Leave me alone. I accept that you won't kill him."

"Jade," he pleaded. "Let the Avengers handle him. We'll come up with a plan. I'll bring it to them right away."

"He's right," said Ma. "They're dangerous people. Jade, let them move against him. If you go, they'll hurt you, bad."

"Alright," she agreed. "Bring it to everyone. I'm willing to let the professionals handle it."

Ma and Bucky left to organize a meeting. Jade looked at Wanda.

"You'll help me? asked Jade. "I've seen it. They won't be successful."

"I'll help you," said Wanda. "You'll have to block yourself from your mother. She can't know. Let's be straight about this. You plan to kill him with your mind, not a weapon."

"My mind will be the weapon," replied Jade, looking coolly at Wanda. "I might have to kill my father as well."

"Jade, are you sure you can kill?" asked Wanda. "I've done it. It will affect your soul, permanently. There's no going back."

"I'm certain," she said out loud. "It has to be done."

She moved to the door and opened it. Wanda joined her and they both left the room. Bucky and Ma had alerted everyone to a meeting in the common room. Bucky and Steve were standing at the side talking in a low voice to each other. Jade could see Steve wasn't happy about anything Bucky was saying.

"Bucky called the meeting but it's about a vision I just had," she said loudly. "We can't go after the Others yet, but there is another group we need to handle. We need to stop the Children of Adam."

"Why?" asked Sam. "What have they done?"

"They're the group that cast out Ma, then me when I was six years old," she said. "I always believed it was because my abilities frightened them but it was more than that. I wouldn't submit. Their leader, Elder Abraham is a pedophile. He abuses children. He also believes that I'm meant to rejoin the cult and bear his child. They're going to come looking for me. I ask that you take them out first."

As everyone talked at once Ma looked at Jade, several times. Each time her face grew more and more alarmed.

"Why are you blocking me, Jade?" she suddenly blurted out loud. "What is it that you don't want to me to see?"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at the two women, mother and daughter.

"Again, why are you blocking me from your mind?" demanded her mother, pulling on Jade's arm.

"Because you'll try to stop me from killing Elder Abraham, and possibly killing my father," said Jade, looking in her in the eye. "Dear old Dad is the one looking for me. Without him, they can't find me. Abraham is a pedophile, a monster who preys on children. He doesn't deserve to live. After all they've done to us, to me, don't I get to have the justice they deserve?"

"Killing them isn't the answer," interrupted Bucky. "Trust me on this. It scars you for life. I have many scars from killing. I remember every single one. Bring them to justice, yes. Killing them, no."

"Jade, we're going to launch a mission against the cult," said Steve, stepping in between her and her mother. "But we will turn Abraham and your father over to the authorities."

"What if the authorities are part of the cult?" she asked. "What if the reason the traffickers have been allowed to flourish in Albuquerque is because they provide children to Abraham. They have gold. Clint, you said yourself that gold always makes a difference. No authorities."

Bucky and Ma looked at each other then at Jade. Neither were happy at the state of Jade's mind. Something dark had seized her and was influencing her. That a mission to stop the cult was necessary was openly accepted by the group. Steve stood next to Bucky and they both looked at each other, realizing that the proposal to kill Abraham and possibly Jade's father could tear the group apart. How to prevent that was going to be a lot more difficult.

Chapter 8>>

Series Masterlist

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[marsmulti]

Anakin Skywalker was born into slavery and subjugation. This is always how I start his biography, because it is ESSENTIAL to understanding him. Until the age of nine, he had only hopes and dreams, with no real agency in his life, save for that which he was able to claw and scrape for. And he DID. Thanks largely to his kind and beautiful mother, he found the strength to TAKE what he deserved, to FIGHT for it. There was no other way he could have retained himself, his sanity, his soul, his humanity, except through violence, deception, and cleverness.

To say he should have discarded his past is a disservice to the strength of character which enabled him to succeed. It is a base and ignorant stance that deserves no recognition, and simultaneously FAILS to recognize what it is that makes Anakin, ANAKIN. In the savage hellscape that is Tatooine; the slavery capitol of the galaxy, owned by ruthless Hutt gangsters, plagued with stinging, salt laced sands, scorched by twin suns, and abandoned by this so-called civilized Republic- Anakin had no choice but to evolve, or perish.

Qui-Gon Jinn may have taken him from his homeland, but he could not banish those abrasive sands from his mind, nor erase the scars inflicted upon his soul. Anakin was never beaten, not in the egregious way we think of when considering the chattal slavery of our own world, but he was abused. He was hit. He was controlled. He was forced to do labor since his tiny hands could hold a scrub brush. He was subjected to horrors no one should have to endure, witnessing the death of another child when he was only three years old. Another enslaved person who was literally eaten by his former owner, Gardula the Hutt.

Anakin learned to compartmentalize, to suppress all the horror and pain, for the sake of his very survival. He is not wrong to do this. ANAKIN IS NOT AT FAULT FOR HIS CIRCUMSTANCES, nor can he be blamed for the ways in which he learned to SURVIVE. When he is indoctrinated into the Jedi cult, he is given no sympathy, no understanding, no counseling to assist in his transition into this alien world he was suddenly thrust into.

He had no allies, save for Obi-Wan, who he KNEW did not want him. He heard him say it. (We all did.) And even though Obi-Wan himself does quickly change his mind, he does not TELL Anakin. He has his own troubles, borne of being raised within the cult, borne of being treated as an expendable piece of a grander system. Obi-Wan succeeds in passing down his own trauma to Anakin, who must contend with his own grief, as well as his mentor's. He naturally tries to fill the role of parent, while still being a child, while still being reprimanded and put down and told he can't he can't he can't.

Anakin desires FREEDOM above all else, and he knows he will never get it unless he MAKES it for himself, unless he TAKES it. So he does. He cannot take no for an answer, because it burns away at him, threatening to TAKE all that he has, all that he has worked himself to the bone for. He refuses to bow to authority. He refuses to accept that he is wrong, because no one can understand what he's been through, and they don't even try. The Jedi seek to conform Anakin to an impossible standard, while they themselves are slowly being poisoned by their own arrogance and negligence.

To make matters worse, the Jedi are implicit in his relationship with Palpatine, an old politician who they agreed to give virtually unlimited, unsupervised access to this vulnerable young man in their care. They FAIL Anakin at every turn, casting him aside as they do all their members, when their use would be greater as pawns in a grander scheme. The Jedi routinely and notoriously preach of self sacrifice, of giving the whole of your being to the cause, neglecting your own emotions and needs. They preach this as the ultimate good, but Anakin cannot accept this.

Anakin is an individual. He is a free spirit. He cannot accept being LESS when he KNOWS he is not. He knows he is meant for more, and the Jedi are holding him back, while simultaneously touting him as this "chosen one," whenever it suits them, ready to snatch it away in the same breath when Anakin is deemed unworthy.

[synergysilhouette]

Some changes I'd make to Fox's X-Men trilogy

The X-Men franchise helped to propell future superhero films as well as becoming an iconic film brand in it's own right. That said, I've got some changes I'd make:

X-Men 1. Give more attention to Rogue's character. Despite being important in the film, she (and everyone else, for that matter) plays secondary to Wolverine. It'd be interesting to see her in more scenarios that inspire her to wear gloves; with Cody, she only kissed him. Or make Mystique appear as Rogue's adoptive mother (rather than Bobby) in order to convince her that she'll never be loved as she is to leave the school, where she joins the Brotherhood, who seemingly accept her. It isn't until Magneto uses her that she realizes the deception. 2. Flesh out Storm, Beast, Cyclops, and Jean. Maybe brief flashbacks into their lives and backstories, utilizing them more and giving Cyclops and Jean more agency outside of their romance and love triangle with Wolverine. 3. Have The Brotherhood include Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, allowing Magneto to appear sympathetic to his children (particularly Wanda) and instill his beliefs in them. Maybe also include Mastermind to help manipulate more humans and mutants against each other. 4. Post-credit scene shows Magneto's threat has the UN promise him the island of Genosha.

X2: X-Men United 1. Again, allow characters outside of Wolverine to develop. In this case, develop Nightcrawler, as well as addressing Mystique as his mother. Maybe have him younger in this version so he and Rogue are similar ages. I love their sibling bond in the comics! 2. Keep Stryker's religious affiliations, except perhaps make him form his own religion/cult with Catholic Kurt serving as a foil to him. 3. The X-Men are rescued by Magneto, who takes them to Genosha. Their united team includes Magneto, Wolverine, Storm, Jean, Quicksilver (desperate for approval), Mystique, Rogue, Nightcrawler, and Iceman. 4. Jason, while not killed, is psychologically abused by his father and is filled with self-loathing for his powers, which Jean and Kurt help him to slowly accept. 5. Jean doesn't die, nor is her phoenix potential shown yet. 6. Post-credits: Jason is invited to Genosha, though it's revealed he was infected with "the cure" making him no longer a mutant. It originally starts to spread as an airborne disease, but Wanda also exhibits her reality warping powers, preventing it from spreading.

X-Men: The Last Stand 1. Mix "The Cure" storyline with "House of M": Finally, mutants have taken supremacy over the world, though most mutants don't realize that it's a facade. The X-Men team consists of Wolverine, Jean, Storm, Rogue, Iceman, Angel, and Nightcrawler.

2. Magneto finally seems like a better father, and we're introduced to Polaris. The Brotherhood includes Magneto's family as well as Mystique, Pyro, and Havok, who we find out to be Cyclops' brother. Havok ends up joining the X-Men. 3. While mutants rule the world, human scientists are secretly creating a cure for them, but only have one vial. They attempt to use it on Magneto (assuming that he is the cause of this), but Pietro sacrifices himself. Similar to Mystique's sacrifice, Magneto turns his back on Pietro sending Wanda into a rage. Inspired by the cure, she utters the words "No More Mutants." As we watch, reality soon goes back to normal, with most people having no recollection of the alternate reality. Here, it is revealed that most of the X-Men have lost their powers: only Wolverine, Havok, Storm, Jean, and Colossus, and Shadowcat (along with a few of the younger mutants) have their powers. 4. Post-credits: A few months later, much of the world is at a standstill. Most of the mutants are now human and integrated into human society, while the remaining mutants are continually bashed, ignored (because most agree their numbers are too small to be a severe threat), heavily monitored, or form agreements with the government in exchange for protection. During a mission to help NASA, Jean is exposed to a solar flare. When she reappears on earth, she tells Scott that she is no longer Jean: "I am Phoenix."

Lemme know what you think!

[mywrittenavenue]

Some backstory/ trauma-rant.

My life has been nothing short of hard. I've had depression and existential crises since I was 6. My parents got divorced when I was 7. I have had severe anxiety and exiting-ideation since middle school. Chronic illnesses appeared in high school to the point where I had to drop out of school... But the worst was when I realized my mom, dad, and family members were narcissistic and toxic people when I was in college.

When I graduated, I cut off contact with my dad because I couldn't handle him anymore. He was getting too sexist despite having 4 daughters, too conservative, and he was always horribly absent. He would only come over when it suited him and he would make me and my sister wait for hours past when he would promise to pick us up. He liked to present me like a doll to his side of the family and keep up the charade of being a good father. He was glad to have my sister and I go home to mom immediately afterwards, and would cut contact for months until it suited him again. Interacting with him was like a play. I would smile, listen, be the good daughter, and wait until the show was over. He would only ever talk about himself and he ignored all my interests. He hated buying anything for us. I later found out all my past Christmas and birthday gifts were actually from my Abuela's money and that he refused to ever buy me anything. He would complain about buying me cheap thrifted clothes. He only ever would spend enough for us to have pizza. I was so tired of it, of him, the dance of us both. The dance was worse when he married my mean stepmom (after only a year after my parents divorced mind you) who hated me because, in her words to my pre-tween self, my mom was a "gold digging b*tch".

Speaking of her, my mom is very mentally ill due to her narcissism and bipolar behavior. She's currently in a religious cult and wants to drag me into it, furthering my trauma into religious trauma on top of everything else. She is the one who has caused the most mentally damaging behavior to me. She and her cult leader caused the death of my beloved pet bird who was like my own child. When my bird died I went into a spiral and had a nervous breakdown that I still havent recovered from years later. I don't feel like myself after my breakdown, I feel like an alien living in my skin, or a monster, an imposter. People no longer like me, no longer like talking to me because I come off weird now, as if I'm a creature mimicking a human. I used to be sociable, people used to like me, and now, compounded with the awkwardness I developed during quarantine, I can't be normal anymore.

I don't have a physical support system. I have about 3 friends and they are all virtual friends who can't speak to me often for various reasons. I love them a lot and I deeply appreciate their friendship but I don't really have anyone here when I need them. I don't really have anyone to talk to when I desperately need someone. I don't have a therapist due to cost and every therapist I have tried (with the exception of one) has further traumatized me. The first from elementary school until middle school would stare at me like a robot and only write things down. She never cared to connect to me, even though I was a deeply hurting child. The second when I was a teen/newly aged adult, ghosted me on our first meeting and made excuses. I never got to see her ever. The third after hearing all about my abuse and trauma told me that my mom was in the right to abuse me. She then abandoned me callously when she moved to another practice and ghosted me. The fourth was an amazing person who helped me feel better about myself, helped me understand the abuse was not my fault. But my growth stagnated and we both agreed I needed further trauma counseling with a different therapist who could provide better so we mutually parted. The fifth was an online therapist since I couldn't afford regular therapy. When telling her about my pharmacaphobia, she proceeded to tell me the story of herself almost dying due to medical issues and then smiled when I told her I was scared and uncomfortable. I cut contact with her on the same day.

My most recent trauma was college. My mom had forced me to change my major, and while I did learn a lot in design, I was also miserable. All my classmates avoided me. I would try to strike up a conversation and was always doing my best to be friendly, approachable, and I always helped out and did my all in everything. I would put in so much effort to people please, but in the end they ostracized me. I remember one occasion in which I was absent due to chronic illness on a day when the class was supposed to pick group partners. My professor was angry at me and told me it was my fault for missing class and she told me to beg my classmates to join their groups and that nobody in the class was obligated to be my partner. I tried to join one group, they proceeded to accept me and then later when they felt they had too many members, kicked me out. I asked another group who said yes and then they all left the classroom without telling me on purpose. I begged another group and they reluctantly let me in after another member didn't show up. I cried in the bathroom after class, I felt so bullied and alone. Later on after we graduated, the only classmate who spoke to me told me that I needed to socialize better and that I was always to myself. The thing is that every time I tried to talk to people in class, they always iced me out or ghosted me. It took me a year after graduating to kind of recover, which is where I'm at right now. I still have some lingering issues. I could never understand what was wrong, although I think that I'm probably neurodivergent, a mixture of Autism and ADHD, or just neurodivergent from having CPTSD mess up my brain.

As of right now as a person who just graduated last year, I'm struggling so hard to even apply for jobs due to the intense CPTSD and trauma I have. I get panic attacks with every application I work on. Interviews are also the worst, I blank out and I panic because I'm being looked at with scrutiny. My very first interviewer was really confrontational and aggressive when I had let her know that files were missing from the assigment she had sent me. She was telling me I was a liar, even though I truly didn't have them. It was my dream to work at that publishing company to design book covers/ book ads and now it was ruined for me. Right now my plan is to find part time jobs until I gain the confidence to go for bigger design jobs. But I really just need money so I can save up and leave my house because my mom has been getting more and more controlling and religious and angry. She hates me. She thinks I am my father, thinks that because I'm struggling with life that I'm being lazy and ungrateful. When she comes home my stomach hurts so bad due to stress. She makes me feel like I'm losing my sanity due to how she gaslights and twists my words.

I dont know what I want from writing all this out but, here it is. My life story.

[je-suis-problematique]

Soooo Reno's story got complicated

Reno becoming more and more unhinged over the course of the RE4 storyline. Just straight up make him unstable and violent. Sol and Estrella's continuous attempts to rescue him from the cult are fucking with his head, Leon and Ada's interference with Saddler's plans are making him feel desperate to be useful, and Alejandro's entire existence is threatening whatever fucked up relationship he has going on with Saddler to its very foundation – You cannot tell me that Reno is well. We keep repeating that he probably kills his siblings but I had a Thought that maybe he only kills Estrella and it was an accident, he didn't REALLY mean to do it, but they had a very heated argument about the whole cult situation or something and Reno ended up snapping and inflicting a lethal wound on his sister. Reno flees the scene before Sol can do anything in retaliation and then Sol just accepts that there's no saving Reno and leaves his fate up to Leon. Sadly for Sol, Alejandro got involved too.

Alejandro basically overpowers Saddler in a fight and pitches the whole down-with-the-Agency plot to him. I'd like to think that Saddler actually kind of vibes with Alejandro's plan to a degree because the way we see it Saddler got fed shit for being a mage at least ONCE in his life and he likes the idea of a world where nonhumans and magic users rule over everyone else. He doesn't like the fact that Alejandro is stronger than him or that he's being degraded in his own home but he DOES agree to kind of repurpose Los Iluminados to achieve world domination in a slightly different way. Saddler's relationship with Alejandro is tense because Saddler isn't used to being beneath anyone but they eventually learn to respect each other as equals. Essentially just two tops in a power struggle.

Saddler can't and won't leave Reno behind though so the poor bastard gets roped into Alejandro's plan by being too cute to kill. Saddler isn't willing to share him either but Alejandro fucks Reno anyway just to spite Saddler. Nobody said Alejandro is a good person.

We're making Saddler TRAUMATIZED and by TRAUMATIZED we mean that his family was fucked up and also he got hurt by people outside of his family too. He got treated like a freak I'm telling you. Abused to Hell and back. Bullied and assaulted. Don't get me wrong there was no point in his life when he could've been considered a good person but after being raised believing that he is lesser for one reason or another or being held up to such high standards that no mistake was tolerated at all ever he kind of just got tired of being stepped on and decided it's HIS turn to step on people. I'm also willing to bet all the money in the world that his experience when it comes to intimate relationships and sex is extremely minimal and that Reno is his first partner in a LONG time. I'm gonna even go ahead and say he might've been sexually abused at some point because we love projecting our traumas on our favorite characters and Saddler is no exception.

The only way I can come up with to make Alejandro and Saddler's Spicy Time fucked up but not TOO fucked up is to implement CNC. We want Saddler to be into it but we also want it to be Bad because that is Alejandro's whole point. Saddler spent a good portion of the story breaking and corrupting Reno. Great! Now Saddler gets completely wrecked by Alejandro and he loves it. 10/10.

We also have a bunch of whump involving Saddler in the sense that he isn't just a parodical Bond villain anymore who's evil for evil's sake but rather someone who's been hurt in the past and is still licking wounds that never closed/keep reopening. We'd like to add in some moments where Saddler feels pain and doubt and fear even. We want Alejandro to alternate between being a source of comfort for Saddler and being someone who just pours salt into Saddler's wounds to show him that he is no longer top dog. We want Reno to be there for Saddler when he is at his weakest. Alternatively, we want Saddler to push away anyone who might come close enough to see him truly unravel. Just Saddler suffering, we snort that shit like cocaine.

The nature of the interactions between Alejandro and Reno also varies because Alejandro barely sees Reno as a person and Reno sees Alejandro as a threat to his Master so it's uh Complicated. Interestingly enough Saddler becomes extremely protective of Reno and won't let Alejandro lay a finger on him despite being abusive towards Reno himself. Alejandro likes teasing and bullying Reno just because he can and he rubs the fact he controls Saddler in Reno's face all the time. Sometimes he also likes making Reno jealous and insecure because he finds his reactions funny.

Thinking of introducing even more OCs into this like making an Umbrella researcher who worked with Luis or somebody to pair with Wesker or maybe even someone who was on Saddler's excavation team when they first unearthed the Plaga. Might also go completely insane and give Saddler an ex for those heartbreak points. Nobody can fucking stop us from doing any of that.

Alejandro uses Saddler and by extent also Reno to control the surviving Ganados since they're the ones who have a dominant type Plaga in them but in HIS vision for Los Iluminados, only "normal" humans should get Plaga'd while he sways nonhumans and magic users to join his cause willingly with a select few of them receiving the dominant type Plaga to serve as his lieutenants. Normal humans are to be used as slaves and cannon fodder in his eyes. Part of the reason why he looks down upon Reno so much is because prior to his infection with the Plaga he was just a normal guy with nothing magical whatsoever about him. Saddler still preaches his usual bullshit deifying the Plaga and stuff but Alejandro straight up just "we're gonna topple the government and rule over the normies but the Plaga is a nice bonus".

Speaking of adding OCs to this story the idea of designing a lieutenant or two for Alejandro and maybe even an oppositional force to his growing army sounds pretty cool actually.

[jentlemahae]

if i was part of the idol's cast i would never speak about it again but instead these people keep praising the show and s*m this is honestly making me sick

https://www.comingsoon.net/tv/news/1303711-davine-joy-randolph-on-the-idol-finales-twist-its-feminine-empowerment

to call that nonsensical twist female empowerment when it was literally misogynistic??? and the fact that a woman herself calls this female empowerment upsets me even more. how is showing a young woman who was abused and humiliated to be the master manipulator in the end female empowerment?? this could've worked if there was some kind of build up to it but instead jocelyn's character just did a whole 180 switch in the last episode that doesn't make any sense. we literally know nothing about her character except that she suffered from childhood trauma and abuse that was also confirmed by other characters but then in the last episode it's revealed that was all a lie? and being abused by a slimy disgusting club owner was her plan all along???? make it make sense!!!! this all becomes even more frustrating now seeing the behind the scenes footage when amy was still the director. a pink, girly room, life sized standees of jocelyn in colorful, youthful outfits! we could've gotten a show that explores a former child star wanting to break out of that image and in the midst of it falling prey to a cult but instead we got s*m's wet dreams it seems. the show is sooooo unrealistic and doesn't seem to criticize the music industry and the exploitation of female artists at all it's just p*rn disguised as a show with no insight into the characters and no depth even though it had a 5 hour run time! i hope s*m doesn't get any projects anymore but seeing as he is a nepo baby that clearly gets his way i doubt it. i just wish he and everyone involved in this mess of a show would take the criticism seriously but instead they get all defensive and hurt and don't realize how harmful this show really is. s*m really thinks he's such a misunderstood artist when he's just a disgusting creep and same goes for the weeknd tbh after each episode he gave interviews trying to defend it or kept replying to people on Twitter who rightfully dislike and clown this show... like just take the L and move on... i wish amy and the previous cast would do a tell all and reveal what really happened but they probably had to sign ndas. apparently a child actress was involved as well in the original version and so many other actors like this really could've been a good show and it's just annoying how men once again have to ruin everything and it's so upsetting seeing women champion for this like lrd also seems so supportive of all this and maybe she's not allowed to speak of the original version either and obviously she can't slam the director of her break out show but this is all just so so frustrating... sorry for this long message i'm really just mad and i hope hbo loses a lot of money :)

well i agree with all uve said + clearly that actress is either really dumb or she’s on sam’s payroll who wanted actresses who were involved in the show to praise it so he can be like “see it’s not offensive to women! this woman liked it!”, which is by no means unprecedented in this kind of situations bcs men love using women as scapegoats and/or to defend themselves. i also would love for this show to be the first nail in the coffin of sam’s career but given his connections in the industry i seriously doubt it. i at least can hope that none of my faves get involved with him ever again so i can live peacefully

[venus-haze]

i hope your trip is fun! ik you’re not really doing sequel fics anymore but i’d love headcanons for the reader’s career after elvis turns her into a vampire in your fic it was so good💗

It was a lot of fun! I apologize for taking so long to get to this, but here's some headcanons for Elvis and the reader post-My Fading Voice Sings of Love.

Vampire!Elvis x Vampire!Reader

Warnings: Dark themes such as death, emotional manipulation, and abuse of power. Mentions of blood and violence. Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Your career, like his was for so long, becomes tied to Las Vegas. Your manager is beside herself when you tell her you changed your mind about touring, you’ll keep your residency indefinitely. She almost drops you as a client over it, but with your second album nearing its release date, you just barely manage to luck out. It charts well, but without a tour to support it, interest in your music starts to wane

It’s almost sick how your formerly promising career stagnates like his did being stuck there—you can’t even bring yourself to hate him. You wanted this, asked for it. You had the choice between leaving and staying, and you chose to stay

He’s far more dependent on you than you are on him. While you still have your usual entourage, with the exception of the few people who have come and gone through the years, you’re all he has. You do care for him, you can't shake the feelings your human self had for him before, if anything they're more amplified now

The first time you kill someone to feed is extremely harrowing for you. You had to do it, there was no other choice, but you felt guilty at having to take a life to sustain your own, even if Elvis made sure the whole thing was as impersonal as possible. He lets you experience all of the emotions running through you in the aftermath because he didn’t have anyone to help him when he was turned, he was on his own and had to deal with the messy, conflicting feelings himself

If you become okay with killing, the two of you will go out to feed together. On the other hand, if you can’t seem to shake the guilt and hesitancy, he’ll bring back fresh blood for you when he goes out to feed. He’d prefer this scenario, in all honesty. You would be dependent on him to survive and to him that intimacy can’t be matched by feeding together. It's definitely a control thing, but also he needs to feel needed

Besides, ya know, him being the only other vampire you know and probably will ever meet, music is the biggest thing that connects the two of you—even if he doesn't always agree with the artistic choices you make. You're always learning from him in that capacity

A decade or so goes by before you have to throw in the towel, not because you can't perform anymore, but there's no way to explain why you just haven't changed physically or the strange career choices you've made. You've reluctantly become a recluse artist, releasing albums every so often for your small group of dedicated fans, gaining something of a cult following over time

At times you toy with the idea of leaving, trying other places out for taste, after all, you're not nearly as recognizable as he is. You don't have to stay in Vegas. Something in you stops you every time, maybe it's love, or maybe it's to spare the next unsuspecting popstar who comes along from ending up like you

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Hello! I already make a request, hope you don't mind if I do more. The adultrio having a daughter is already interesting, but their beloved child seems lonely and she wants to be with kids of her age; their mother agrees, so they make friends.

Specially close with Kalluto in Chrollo's case since he and Kotorpi are the only minors in the Troupe; Hisoka's daughter with Gon, Killua and Alluka after meeting the first two at the Hunter exam and being bffs with Alluka; and Illumi allows her to spend time with Killua or the rest of his siblings because for him it doesn't count as friends but creating bonds with family, and pleased that Killua and her are close. At least before she accompanies Killua to take the Hunter exam and all his later adventures, while Chrollo's girl follows Kalluto in his missions sometimes or just spending time together and Hisoka's cherub stays with the main four/Gon and Killua mostly much like Illumi's. What are their reactions/opinions/feelings about this?

Moreover, how do they handle if they notice their daughter, whether she's conscious of it or not, has feelings for one of them and it could be reciprocal now or in the future? (Kalluto, Killua and Gon respectively) They would do something about it or just watch from afar? Also I imagine fathers solidarity between Hisoka and Illumi or just Hisoka teasing Illumi

I'm sorry if it's too specific 😔

Please, don’t worry! I don’t mind specific requests and this was really fun!!!

Illumi

You thought Illumi’s sibling love for Killua was toxic? That he easily gains a spot on the list of worst older brothers in anime? Hm-mmm… Yeah, try having him as a father, then. Oh, it might appear cute, he would positively love to have a family of his own and while he would never be exactly the most expressive father when it comes to affection, he would think of you as his “little assassin princess” and want to dote on you, so on… But there are people who can be abusive/toxic without meaning to or realizing it and and you should never forget who Illumi really is. Him being your father would not mean he would be any less, well, him.

Since you’re his daughter, he actually encourages you to spend time with your “uncles”. You’re right, he doesn’t see this as “being friends” but as “being close to the family” (which actually does matter to him). His way of raising you would not differ so much from how Killua was raised, except that it might be even worse (depending on how much your mother would be able to interfere, but yeah, there would be torture masked as “training”). His way of controlling “protecting” you would also be quite similar, ranging from emotional/mental manipulation to conditioning your behavior. If this sounds somewhat like a cult to you, you aren’t far off.

Considering how he feels about Killua, Illumi will actually be thrilled to see the two of you getting along (and I can’t say for sure he wouldn’t think of using this to regain control over Killua)… In fact, it’s possible that you would only be able to break away from his influence (or realize how messed up this whole family is) because of Killua since Illumi might be even worse than his own parents. Regardless of your age, Killua would feel as protective of you as he is of Alluka and would want to at least try to help you. He knows his siblings are too wrapped in the way of the family to be helped, but once he sensed there was the slightest chance of setting you free, then he would take it.

Then, the Hunter Exams happen. And… Well, it’s downhill from then on.

During the Hunter Exam, Illumi might feel paternal pride, seeing you reach the finals along with his younger brother, taking out the obstacles, yeah, yeah, cute, but he would not like the way you’re getting close to the other participants… At first, he would consider it your way of blending in, perhaps an act or curiosity for “other people”, even a possible rebellious phase… But he would feel that nagging suspicion, and as soon as his “little assassin princess” claimed those people her “friends”, he would not like it.

Not. One. Bit.

Illumi might order you to be punished even more severely than Killua was (and he would have no problem with taking advantage of you two being close by punishing one in front of the other. It’s not cruelty in his mind – or any of the Zoldycks’ minds – but a way to ensure you two learn the lesson). It doesn’t help that Illumi sincerely believes this is for their best and that he does love you, just like it is with Killua. Seriously, he could be whipping you until you bled and then saying how you caused this with your behavior, how he still loves you, so on (it’s like he is just grounding you without internet for a week).

Yeah, this is proof that a familial relationship has no need for incest elements to be disturbing.

Frankly, he would be confused by your behavior, since he really, literally doesn’t understand what is making you “act out” like this, and furious as well (more at the situation than at you, providing you wouldn’t defy him too much), perhaps even a little bit hurt. He would make plans to talk with you once the punishment is over. Maybe you two need to go on a job together, to help you remember what means to be a Zoldyck. Make no mistake, you can and should read this as “another session of brainwashing”, even if Illumi wouldn’t ever see it this way.

Another thing: While Illumi respects his father, he wouldn’t accept quite well that he simply let you go with Killua and those “friends”. He may accept his father’s decisions regarding Killua, but when it comes down to his daughter, he should have the final say. Even if his own wife allowed that, he would still be angered. He doesn’t see this ending well. He doesn’t want to risk you getting more “corrupted”.

While he might end up accepting it and waiting for this “phase” to be over and for you to come back home, it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t make some “plans” to help things along… It's also highly likely he already placed a needle on you just like he did with Killua (and it might be worse than just “don’t fight enemies stronger than you”, it might go straight to “don’t ever disobey me/don’t ever fight me”).

If/When he ever heard/suspected anything about you becoming smitten with Gon… Well… We have a problem. A serious one. This is not the usual “protective father mode” or even the “annoying overbearing mode”, this is Illumi not liking the way things are going. Think how he acted when Killua took Alluka to save Gon and take this up to eleven. You’ll barely approach how he will be in this situation: This might be the final straw, leading him to develop a severe hatred for Gon, considering him the one who is poisoning his younger brother and daughter, straying them from their destiny and straight-up stealing them away from Illumi. It’s already bad when it’s just Killua and Gon, so if you double those emotions by adding his daughter to the mix… Illumi might very well decide that screw respecting Hisoka claiming Gon as his future prey, screw waiting for you two to come back home on your own, he’s going to get rid of that brat.

It’s not funny, it’s not cute. It’s scary.

Those around him may try to change his mind, or at least convince him to wait for a while longer, but it’s hard to say if it would work (even if Hisoka might pretend to not care by joking about it. Hey, his daughter is smitten with Killua and you don’t see him throwing a tantrum). You better hope your mother has some more sense and the ability to influence Illumi, otherwise, things would get pretty disturbing…

Speaking of which, perhaps it should be said that Illumi wouldn’t have an issue with Killua dating Hisoka’s daughter. No, as much as Hisoka jokes that this would make them family, it’s more because he has seen Hisoka’s strength and thinks the girl would make a good addition to the family line. Note that his acceptance has nothing to do with sexism or not considering females a threat or whatever, far from it: It’s because he has no history with Hisoka’s daughter (at least no more than he has with Kurapika or Leorio). Gon actively challenged Illumi, broke his arm, and went to the Zoldyck State in order to take Killua away (yes, the others were there, but to put it simply, Gon started it). That’s why, no matter how strong or skilled Gon is, Illumi would only see him as the thief who took his daughter and younger brother away from him.

So you simply can’t expect him to take you and Gon dating well.

If he’s pushed enough, Illumi would hunt you all down to the ends of the Earth. He wants to control Alluka’s power and he wants you and Killua back.

Nothing else matters in his mind.

Hisoka

You just can’t expect Hisoka to be what is usually considered a “normal parent” and he wouldn’t exactly be the “best father ever”, but he would try (if this is a good thing or a bad thing, it depends). Hisoka isn’t someone who ever thought about being a parent, being too much of a lone wolf, but the moment he holds you in his arms, he is completely taken (even more than he already was, during the previous nine months), even if this wouldn’t change who he is. It’s perhaps no surprise that the teaching of morals would be totally on the mother since Hisoka’s are already limited as they are (same for his sense of empathy).

While he would train you from an early age, at least he wouldn’t torture you as Illumi would. Yes, he is likely to push things a little too far if he got carried away, but he would stop before going too far (you and your mother are the two living beings he would simply never, ever hurt). If you’re simply not interested in fighting, Hisoka would be disappointed (though he would try to deal with it better/hide it once his wife reminded him you mistake this for him being disappointed in you) and wonder where he got it wrong. After the initial uncertainness of what to do, he would at least try to find things you guys can still do together in order to bond, but would still insist that you need to learn how to fight anyway. Just because you don’t want to fight, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world is like you and he might not be around to keep you safe should something bad happen.

About this, note that Hisoka has a certain balance. Oh, he would be protective in his own way while also being the sort that lets his kid “be free”, to the extent that people might assume him to be a disinterested/irresponsible father. Not quite so. Hisoka is protective, yes, yet he would never sugarcoat how the world can be dangerous. He isn’t going to raise you under a bell jar or with kid gloves. He doesn’t even consider this as being protective and, in fact, hates this “coddling”.

On another hand, your mom might need to interfere if he’s trying to teach you about things you’re simply too young to know about or even understand properly.

Chances are, you ended up going to the Hunter Exam together (hey, that and going to the Heaven’s Arena is the kind of thing Hisoka considers as “quality time”). He might be a little upset once you start teaming up more with Killua and Gon than with him (he thought this would be something you two would do together, you know? Like those father-daughter competitions, only more interesting), but he would let it go. Oh, he doesn’t really care if this because you want to make friends with people who are closer to you in age or whatever, he is too busy appreciating that you seem to have found the same “interesting toys” that he did! Aww, you’re really his kid!!!

Likewise, Hisoka wouldn’t have exactly an issue with you going off with Killua and Gon, except the usual… Concern, that any parent feels when their child plans to leave for a long time. Thanks to his relationship with your mother, Hisoka became a lot better when it comes down to how it feels to care for someone else, but he is still Hisoka. Even if you are still a child, no older than Killua or Gon, don’t expect him to give you a bear-hug and go on a tirade about how much he loves you and is so proud of you, and don’t forget to write, sweetie!!!

At least not in public. Then he would just nod with that cold smirk of his as if he couldn’t care less about what you do. And because his behavior during the Exam would not differ from the original story (hell, unless you two look enough alike for people to suspect you’re related, some people might be shocked he is your father since it’s not like he would be coming over all the time to talk or ask how you’re doing), people would regard him as a distant father, the short who doesn’t want to get involved in his child’s life and is seriously neglectful.

Not that Hisoka gives a crap about what people think.

And it's not like they are right.

You know the truth. You know Hisoka actually cares because he would (or would’ve done it already) talk with you in private to let you know that he is proud of how you’ve done during the Exam and he knows you can kick ass and take care of yourself, but… He can’t help but to worry, ya know? Your mother does too. So don’t forget to send messages, agreed? Yeah, he doesn’t show this in front of anyone because he prefers to keep a line between his “private life” and his “fighting life” (as much as there is little to no difference between those two, in all honestly).

(Regarding the public demonstrations of affection and hugs and all? He might do it when you become a teen, if only because it’s fun to tease you a bit).

If you were in Heaven’s Arena with Gon and Killua, he would watch your match from afar and meet you later in private, wanting to celebrate and possibly discuss how you fought. Yeah, his daughter kicked ass! Speaking of which, remember the previous comment about him keeping his life with his family separated from his as a fighter? You can bet Machi would not even see you two together and the Spiders would never even suspect he has a daughter (told you he is protective in his own way), so if you do end up captured by them with Gon and Killua, well… You’re in for one hell of a lecture. First, no child of his simply “gets kidnapped” like this, okay? He taught you better! Second, oh, yeah, what the hell were you thinking, young lady?

Yup, one of the few times Hisoka actually does look and sound like a father.

Regarding you dating Killua… Look, you’re his daughter. This means A) He knows you can take care of yourself and B) He knows simply saying “I Don’t Want You Going Out With Him” has zero effect. Well… Maybe he’ll sneak around during your first date, letting only Killua know he’s there. Just to mess with the boy (hey, let him have his fun, too!). And yes, he would tease the hell out of Illumi with the idea that, if the two of you marry, they will be family! Can he imagine, his little baby brother married?

What? You remember when he asked Illumi if he could kill Killua (and the… Double meaning with the hand gesture). Is this any surprise?

Honestly? Hisoka is just relieved that you’re not interested in Gon that way. It spares him the headache of hoping/waiting for the two of you to break up so he can kill him when the time is right… Of course, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take Killua aside for a moment in order to make sure the boy knows that if he so much as upsets you, well, he will be quite displeased.

Chrollo

Chrollo as a father is a… Somewhat a complicated case. What I mean is that, realistically speaking, he already made it clear that the Spider is more important than even his life. At the same time, while he is a torturer and a murderer, he did cry for a fallen comrade, so we can’t say he is a psychopath with no feelings for another living being.

My point? Chrollo loves you and your mother, in his own way… But the Spider would still come in the first place, even when next to your own life. It’s hard to say how things would be, even how he would get together with your mom (again, due to how devoted he is to the Spider) and how it would be if his wife had a life of her own and no interest in joining the Spider. In this case, however, it’s likely that once she became pregnant with you, Chrollo would put his foot down. Once you were older enough, he would take you two along in his travels. He is not risking leaving his wife and child “in the open” for an enemy or the mafia to kill!

Sadly, on another hand, Chrollo would raise you to be a Spider, as if this was a legacy. In this regard, he would not be that different from Illumi. Oh, he would not use torture and call it “training”, but there would be a lot of manipulation and brainwashing and, considering how Chrollo can be a lot subtler than Illumi, it would be a lot harder for you to ever break free of his influence (even more considering that your lifestyle wouldn’t exactly make it easy for you to have other presences in your life so constant as the Troupe).

As I said, he does love you… But the Spider will always come first.

It’s not like he sees you only as a tool or something to be dedicated to the Spider, or anything of this sort. The love he has for you, secondary to his own goals as it might be, is genuine. It’s not easy to imagine it, but those small moments father-daughter? Reading to you, teaching you, so on? He actually likes and values those moments… It’s just that, as I mentioned, his dedication to the Spider is so absolute that it does wrap around everything else in his life. It gets to the point he can’t see you doing anything else than following this “legacy” (and it’s not easy to say how he would react should you “pull a Killua” on him, you know?).

(However, please, I have to say it: Don’t romanticize this situation. It’s not a case of “the needs of many outweigh the needs of one” or “in war, a leader must do what he must do”. Remember that, regardless of his paternal love, nothing can change the fact this man is a mass murderer. This won’t ever change).

Chrollo actually wouldn’t mind you becoming closer to Kalluto (though he might have preferred Kortopi, if for no other reason than he has been in the Troupe for longer, so Chrollo kind of has known him for longer) until it became clear you’re starting to develop feelings for him… Oh, he supposes he understands that you’re growing up and starting to seek such relationships, perhaps still has some romantic ideas about it… He also tries to see this whole ordeal from a pragmatic point of view, keeping in mind that love at such young age rarely survives until adulthood, it’s not that easy when one of the “elements” of the equation is his daughter. The fact he knows Illumi and the Zoldyck and perhaps rumors (or even actual details) about the family doesn’t help Kalluto’s side.

If you thought that he would actually prefer to see you with someone from the Troupe rather than with some outsider who could turn out to be either an idiot or a problem, you’d be right. As I said, it’s hard to predict what Chrollo would do if you were to renounce the Spider or choose to be with someone such as Gon or Killua (since they are friends of Kurapika). This would seem the preferable scenario even in his own mind.

Now? Chrollo would decide this isn’t exactly that better either (he is not stupid, he doubts Kalluto would renounce his family in favor of the Spider), but would let things carry on for a while, deciding that “wait and watch” is the better way to deal with this. Yes, he trusts you and your strength but it’s a fact that feelings can make people do stupid things and he would be the first to say that not every fight is won with strength alone.

And you’re too young to be thinking about boys, anyway!

He only hopes this won’t cause trouble among the group or distract you too much from what the Spider means and what they do (especially when you joined for “jobs”)… And also that Kalluto won’t get any stupid ideas.

Yup, cue Chrollo taking Kalluto aside for a little “talk”. He isn’t exactly a controlling father (at least he doesn’t see himself as one) or a “Finding Nemo” type either. He knows his daughter can take care of herself and all that, but he is still her father and if Kalluto does anything Chrollo disapproves of, then it won’t be an “internal dispute”. It will be something Chrollo will deal with it accordingly.

Hell, since he has only joined recently, the rest of the Troupe – at least those who’ve known you for longer, perhaps since you were a toddler – might give Kalluto a little “warning” as well regarding him dating the “Spider Princess”.

Now, Chrollo actually meant this as a mere warning and will be political enough to not outright antagonize Kalluto (same for Illumi when he joins the Troupe). He’s been in this game long enough and wouldn’t have survived until today if he wasn’t a skilled player.

As for Hisoka? If he ever heard about this, he would be laughing himself to death about how insane this whole thing is (probably while high-fiving his own daughter).

[elfwreck]

There are around 900 volunteers working for the OTW. I guarantee they are not all liberal-progressives who agree with this corner of Tumblr's ideologies.

They don't need to be. Someone doesn't need to be pro-choice to wrangle tags. They don't need to vote for Democrats to translate TOS abuse reports from Russian users. Anti-vaxxers can document the OTW procedures and update the internal wiki.

It's possible none of those people should be on the Board - that whatever makes those ideologies appealing to them, is also going to make them incompatible with the OTW's core purposes. That once they are dealing with policy issues outside of a very narrow niche, their broader political and ideological leanings will come into play.

But that's why we have Q&A roundups and chats - so you can figure out whether someone's approaches to problems fits with what you want to see at the OTW.

They don't need to be leftists to delete spam pages on Fanlore, to add infoboxes to stub pages, to fix double-redirect links.

We need fandom - and society at large - to realize that the end-goal of all this activism is not "make everyone agree on all the important issues." It's "make sure people have what they need to live and thrive."

When OTW recruits volunteers, they don't ask about political parties, religious beliefs, their stance on health care, or which memes they like. Those aren't relevant.

They're not directly relevant to the Board - except that someone who likes racist memes is likely to promote, or fail to block, racist policies; someone who thinks teens shouldn't have access to contraceptives may think teens shouldn't have access to smut fic; someone who is a devoted member of a cult with a single leader may sabotage the OTW if it catches the hostile attention of that leader; someone who agrees with a political platform that says it's okay to discriminate against queer people may support policies that allow harassment.

Again: May. Might. No guarantees; maybe they can keep those beliefs entirely separate from their OTW work. But any of those would convince me to vote against the person, if I had any choice.

...If there's enough hostile sentiments thrown around against people running at all, we won't have choices, because the progressives who want the policies we all support, may have some aspect of their life they don't want dragged into the public wankstorm.

The fact that she puts on a show about being “moderate” just makes me hate and distrust her more. She’s never going to cross all the way over, so what’s the point? I know it’s important to cooperate with people at whatever middle ground you can find, but it feels degrading to have to reach this far.

--

The thing I think a lot of the bitching in my replies is missing is that the bad part here isn't opposing her bid for the Board. That's entirely justified.

The bad part is:

Thinking this must be a conspiracy that involves other Republicans

Thinking it's wrong for OTW to allow her to run

Thinking it's impossible that she's also being harassed in addition to being rightly grilled about how her political stances do or don't line up with OTW's

Thinking that she has no place in general OTW work that's not the Board

Thinking that Republicans or conservatives or [insert group here] don't also like fanfic and don't also care about archiving it

We don't have to cooperate by actually putting a Republican on the Board. Fuck that. Nobody thought she was a good candidate.

What we do need to do is stop being mega assholes in a way that will scare people away from even running. This reaction is not going to put off only conservative candidates. "You shouldn't vote for her because she's a Republican. [link to evidence]" is totally fine, but the reactions have gone far beyond that.

What we do need to do is welcome people who are willing to show up and do the low level grunt work. We don't need to like someone's politics to let them do all the boring tag wrangling or the grueling hours of translation.

There are large parts of OTW that are less like public office and more like organizing people to pick up trash around the neighborhood. If you're here to pick up trash with me, I don't care if you have stupid views as long as you do the work and treat the other volunteers well.

Yes, absolutely, vote to keep conservatives out of leadership positions! But the reactions this election cycle haven't only been that: they've been naive incredulity that any conservative could possibly share any common goals or be useful in any context to any fandom endeavor.

These are dangerous and stupid attitudes.