#frostbane hisses

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

Quick reminder:

P-shifters *arent* looking for power, or whatever

We literally just go creature and know we are creatur

some of us practice going creatur, some of us go creatur involuntarily

In past some were bad, but not all of us

now that it's universally disliked are so less likely to find those who want to fake being a p-shifter :b

aint nobody continuing to identify if all of us just wanted "power" (as in why the hell are there still p-shifters if it's seen as bad?)

most of us could completely do *without* the internet to get this so said "power" (I've spent years struggling with my relationship with my device and being my animal self, many can relate with me. It's been a very long time since I've interacted with a power hungry proclaimed p-shifter)

please stop spreading the idea to witch hunt and attack all p-shifters on sight

it also harms others that identify in a similar manner (clinicals, physical nonhumans, etc.) and literally helps no one

Just teach how to identify if people are looking for power and manipulation instead of targeting us

Thank youuu

And regardless

this isnt a post to try and "convince" you to believe or interact with p-shifters

tbh, wouldn't want to talk with you anyways if you weren't willing to listen to me :|

sooo.... DNI if you are going to be an asshole and have an issue with me being a p-shifter? I mean like I'm not here to bother you, but if you are going to bother me, imma just block you

ight bye

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I saw the exact person who made the post you are talking about. I was appalled by the confidence people have in being completely wrong. Thank you for this.

Because you seem to just be deleting all replies that give an alternate view instead of replying with actual discussion, as is your right but still kinda annoying, I figured I’d make a post that you cannot delete. =3

Caring for animals and their well-being is important!

Telling people that the thoughts they have determine their morality is nazi bullshit! =D

Thought crimes do not exist!

And I will continue to repeat that because it’s the truth whether anyone likes it or not.

You cannot measure someone’s morality or their actions based on the thoughts they have. Unless they ACTUALLY act on these things, you have no right to tell other people if they are bad people or not.

And yes, this includes all the thoughts that you and others see as immoral.

If you’re the kind of person who thinks that someone thinking something bad makes them a bad person than you’re both ableist, because intrusive thoughts exist and those are not purposeful thoughts and cause distress among those who have them. Hence why they’re called intrusive.

But also humans are omnivores. Humans are predatory animals. Humans eat meat. Humans have natural and instinctual prey drives!

It might not be as strong as that of wild animals, or other nonhuman animals, but it’s still there!

To condemn someone for having a slightly stronger prey drive and calling them “budding psychopaths or paraphiles” is downright defamatory, ableist and tells more about you than it does about them.

Stripping away someone’s humanity because of something you don’t like is a fascist idea, and I would recommend taking a step back and really thinking about just how you have framed your mindset.

You can advocate for the safety of animals without condemning people who have done absolutely nothing wrong to those animals.

And as I mentioned in my now deleted reply, mental health professionals would not intervene on someone having simple thoughts. The only time they would intervene is if there is an immediate plan and danger towards the individual or others.

——

To anyone else reading this:

Your thoughts do not make you a bad person.

Your prey drive doesn’t make you a bad person.

Block and blacklist those who say otherwise from interacting with you because all they are is misguided assholes who need some more time to realise that the world ain’t black and white and morality is not straight forward.

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

The whumpy intro to this. I've had this on the back burner for a while, and now seemed like as good a time as any to get it out there.

Nyar hissed a little as his body convulsed again under the stress. His eyes screwed shut and he bit his lip a little, trying to find anything to focus on, anything other than the pain.

    “Where are they?”

    Nyar took a few deep breaths, gasping. “Nyar….Frostbane. Former Regimental Captain-”

    The blow across his chest cut him off.

    “Where are they?”

    “Former Regimental Captain of the Archangel crew…”

    Another blow. His ears rang. 

    “Nisi fidus meo cantavit.”

    “What does that mean?” Someone asked out of sight, “Should we check for a code?”

    The man interrogating him scoffed. “Don’t bother. That was his motto when he was in the Regiment.” He stepped forward, grabbing Nyar’s face roughly, forcing the young man’s neck into an awkward angle so that he was looking up into his tourmentor’s eyes. “Back when you were their property.” He sneered, “Nothing more than a tin soldier, parading around, doing exactly what they told you to do.” He shoved Nyar back, the force of the action bending his neck even farther as he was forced against the restraints. “And what are you now? Just a pawn for the Renegades. Doing the exact same thing, just for the other side. That’s all you’ll ever be, isn’t it?”

    Nyar panted, clenching his jaw and keeping as quiet as he could, staring the man down and not breaking eye contact.

    “Just an old toy. Swapped around for information, then left behind.” The man laughed as he pulled out a knife. “Old toys are meant to be broken, Nyar.”

    Nyar eyed the knife carefully. 

    “And when they do break, they break into more pieces than you could ever imagine.”

    “I’ll never break.” He hissed. “Never.”

    “They all say that.”

    He moved so fast, Nyar didn’t even see the glint of the blade as it flashed towards him. It dug into his side, tearing through flesh and his eyes screwed shut once more. His wrists twisted and he gripped the restraints, his only thing to hold on to, as though they were a lifeline. He sucked air in through his teeth, writhing as the man twisted the knife. The twist drew a long cry from him; a gasp that turned to a moaning wail.

    “Where are they? Your precious crew? Tell me where they are, and maybe I'll let a few of them make it out alive.”

    “Ny-ah-Nyar Frost-Frostbane. Captain of the Archangel crew...Regimental Fighter, nisi fidus meo cantavit.” His voice shook a little this time, pitched up and tight with pain.

    “Give it up, toy.”

    “Nyar Frostbane.” Nyar gasped as he opened his eyes, locking onto the interrogator's , “Nyar Frostbane. Trained Fighter. Hunter. Brutal. Unforgiving. Callused. Broken. Cold. Feared.” Words that had been thrown at him his whole life, names he had been called since he enlisted, began training, all of them came flooding out of him now; spilling with his blood onto the tile around him. Insults that had been hurled at him, he now hurled back as threats. “Monster. Killer. Mindless. I’ll rip your throats out, just you wait."

          It was an empty threat. He knew that. A bluff, trying to save himself when no one else could. He'd accepted that this would be his end. He had no idea where he had been taken, or how long it had been. Hope was fading quickly, and now he was clinging to what little he had left. 

          But with each passing second, even that grew smaller and smaller.  

[childrenoflight-darkness-nothing]

Jace was… distant. If it could even really be called that. Ey were there. But stuck in eir own head. And nothing Nyar did seemed to shake em out of it.

Posture, stick straight. And with a far away look in eir eyes.

“Jace. Jace?” Nyar questioned for what seemed to him like the thousandth time in the last minute alone. Though to Jace, as he snapped his fingers in eir face and ey blinked to the present, it seemed to be the first. “Earth to Jace?”

“Hmm?” Ey blinked again, eir attention snapping towards him.

“I asked if you’re okay.” Nyar chuckled a little, more out of concern than any amusement. And eir heart shattered just a little bit more at the worry in his eyes. Ey didn’t deserve it. Ey didn’t deserve any of it. “But I think I have my answer. What’s wrong? And don’t tell me—“

“It’s nothing,” Jace answered quickly, plastering on a smile and leaning up to kiss his cheek. Though ey missed a little, catching his jaw with eir lips instead. “I’m fine. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Jace hated how easily the lie floated off eir tongue.

You have everything to worry about. But you shouldn’t be worried for me.

Nyar sighed, taking one long look at Jace before he shook his head. He cupped eir cheek, pulling eir gaze up towards him. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know.”

He nodded once, short and clipped before he kissed em. And in that brief moment it took every ounce of willpower and military training ey had ever had to stop the tears from forming. “And you know that I love you,” Nyar said, once he’d pulled away. His forehead pressed against eirs and heart pleading for em to just let him in.

“I know,” Jace whispered. I’m sorry.

It wasn’t lost on him how ey didn’t say it back.

———

“Jacelyn Greywolf,” a voice drawled out as a figure stepped into Jace’s path. Ey were supposed to be meeting the archangels, the group having decided that a late night trip to Denny’s was much needed, and ey were already late. “It’s a pleasure to see you, Commander.”

Jace froze in place, a chill finding its way down eir spine are his words. “I’m no commander,” ey ground out. “Haven’t been. Not for a long time.”

“But you were… once,” the man before em said as he stepped away from the shadows and into the light of a street lamp. Ey didn’t recognize the man directly, but it hardly mattered. Everything about him. From his boots, to his hair. Even the way he stood. Jace recognized him for exactly what he was instantly, and a fair amount of terror gripped eir heart. “You could be again.”

“That path was stripped from me years ago, when the regiment decided they had no more use for me. A traitor,” ey said. “I no longer have any need or desire to serve them, either.”

“I think you’ll find both of those statements to be untrue.” It was a ghost of a grin as he spoke. He circled em slowly, with the smugness of a man who was holding every winning card in his hand. “For the regiment definitely has a use for you, Commander. And I think… you’ll find yourself more than willing to serve in our ranks again. Grateful for the chance, even.”

“That’s never going to happen.” Ey stood in place, refusing to play his game of cat and mouse. Refusing to take on the role of cowering prey as he circled around em. “Any loyalty I had to the regiment died years ago.”

“Perhaps.” He stood before em once again, and leaned his head to the side a little as he tossed a shoulder. “But I’ve heard you’ve grown quite close to a particular renegade; Nyar Frostbane.”

Eir gaze flicked to his as soon as the name was spoken, eir composure finally breaking, if even for a moment.

“And wherever he is, well his merry band of traitors is sure to be close by,” he continued, grin widening as he stepped closer to em. “And much like the former captain… well rumor has it you were always more loyal to your crew than anything else.”

Jace flinched. “My crew is dead,” ey hissed.

“Are you quite certain about that?” A question. A challenge. Bait set into a trap. And all he was waiting for was for his little mouse to take it.

“They’re dead,” ey said. Tone, final and sure. Jace had seen it, their death every night for the last five years.

“Drugs and hallucinations can make anyone believe anything… can’t they?” He stepped even closer now, forcing Jace to take a step back in order to meet his eyes. He held out a hand, and something metal in his grasp glinted in the street light. The man raised a brow, patient, until Jace held out eir hand to take the object.

He wrapped eir fingers around it tightly, and when ey pulled eir hand back to examine the object ey couldn’t stop the small bit of hope that sparked deep in eir heart. For when eir fingers unfurled there sat a hand carved wooden figure attached to a small silver chain. A tiny cat with an unmistakable mark carved into its flank.

Even so many years later ey recognized it.

“Stephan…” ey whispered before ey could stop emself. Jace glanced up at the man, pulling the carving to eir chest, and shaking eir head. This meant nothing. Any of eir pilots old carvings could’ve been found around the academy or in their quarters after eir crews death and eir discharge. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Ey’d seen it with eir own eyes. “You could have gotten this anywhere. This proves nothing.”

“If it’s more proof you need, Commander. I’m more than happy to provide it,” he offered, finally taking a step back. “But I trust this has piqued your interest.”

“I’m not turning Nyar over to you for a carving,” ey hissed. Ey were done playing his games. Whatever sick and twisted scheme he was trying to pull, ey weren’t having any of it. “I’m not giving you anything, ever.”

“Perhaps this will change your mind,” he said before pulling out a smart phone and folding it into eir hands.

The man turned and left without another word before Jace even had time to react. Ey were this close to tossing the phone away when the screen lit up with an incoming video call. Curiosity truly got the best of em when ey answered it, only to nearly drop the device a second later.

“Jace? Jace, is that you?” The voice that came through the speaker was one that haunted eir every nightmare. Only now it was hoarse and broken. And eir pilot sat pictured on the screen, strapped to a chair. Bruised and bloody.

Jace couldn’t fight the tears that welled up in eir this time. It couldn't. No. This was a trick. A trick.

Ey shook eir head, the contents of eir stomach threatening to come back up on em as ey struggled to breathe. “No. You’re not. You’re—“

“It’s me,” Stephan breathed, every word seemingly a struggle. “It’s me. It’s been a while? Hasn’t it, Commander?”

———

Eir hands shook as ey pulled the uniform over eir head, eir fingers fumbled with the buttons as ey clasped them all the way up to eir throat. Every fastening felt like a nail in a coffin, but not eirs. It was never eirs.

It deserved to be.

The red belt, bright against the black of eir coat, felt like the final seal. The sash draped over eir shoulder… the floral arrangement stacked on top.

Jace could barely breathe. Nyar was due to be home any moment, his crew not far behind him. And when they all arrived…

I won’t ever let the Regiment take you back. Not tonight. Not ever.

A promise ey’d repeated over and over. Whispered into the night when he’s memories tried to claim him. When the scars became too much. And Jace had meant every word. But here ey were… mere moments away from handing him over to the Regiment personally.

Jace could only hope that he’d understand. Not that he’d forgive em, ey would never deserve that. Ey knew. There was no coming back from this. This would be the one sin ey would never be able to right.

But if it kept him alive. If it kept them all alive.

Jace’s gaze snapped to eir bedroom door as ey heard the front door to the apartment open, followed quickly by Nyar and Caelum’s laughter as the archangels poured into the apartment. Ey took a breath while smoothing the front of eir dress uniform and straightening eir service medals. All of which had been delivered only an hour before and ey’d been ordered into it, as the Regiment had stormed the apartment and taken their place in Nyar’s room laying in wait for Jace’s trap to be sprung.

With a heavy heart Jace stepped out of eir room and down the hall. Ey only stepped far enough into the living room to be seen. It was Jadè who seen em first, the bowl in her hands falling to the floor with a clatter as the rest of the apartment fell silent.

“Jace?” It was Caelum who spoke up, as he took a step forward. “Tell me this is some sort of sick joke.”

“It’s not,” Nyar said, blue eyes boring into his lover who refused to meet them.

Jace said nothing as Nyar’s bedroom door opened behind em. Ey remained silent as soldiers poured out of it, only sidestepped out of the way from the opening of the hall. Posture straight and eyes firmly fixed anywhere that wasn’t meeting the gaze of the family ey had betrayed.

Nyar didn’t fight as he was cuffed and forced to the ground. And any struggle from the rest of them was quickly subdued by the soldiers that had come not only from his bedroom, but also the front door.

Jace flinched as a hand clapped eir shoulder before gripping it tight. “Wonderful job, Commander,” a pleased voice called from just behind em. The same man from the alleyway. The high ranking official that had organized everything, every piece on the board playing right into his hand. “Or should I say… Captain. I think you’ve done more than enough to earn a promotion. More than enough to prove your loyalty to the Regiment.”

———

“Did you find my proof convincing?” Jace turned on eir heel, a hand reaching for the knife ey kept hidden away. The same man from before stood before em, features now visible in the daylight. Where shadow had hidden his greying hair and wrinkled skin the night before. “I had planned on simply calling, but since you discarded my only way of reaching you… Well I figure another meeting face to face was in order. How did you enjoy your chat with dear Stephan Marley?”

“What do you want from me?” Eir tone was sharp as ey spoke.

“I thought I made that quite clear last night, Commander,” he said. His stance was calm and casual, not at all worried that should Jace choose to ey could kill him right there where he stood. “Nyar Frostbane, and the rest of his merry band of traitors. In exchange… you’ll get your crew back. You’ll find them all alive. Should you refuse… well we already know where dear Mr. Frostbane is. The others won’t be hard to find, and you can attend thirteen funerals before the week is out. But that gets messy… and we would rather avoid that. Wouldn’t we, Jacelyn?”

“Why not just take them then?” Jace scoffed despite the chill in eir blood. “If you’re as close to finding them all as you say. Why not just take them? Why not just take all of us?”

“Because.” He took a step forward as he spoke slowly. “The easiest way to subdue a threat is to break it… and what better way to do that, than to cut the head off of the snake? A lover’s betrayal… well you never truly recover from that do you?” He held out a small tablet, the screen already on to show a familiar face. Another member of Jace’s crew, Tessa Sherwood, bound to a chair and covered in wires.

Jace didn’t even have time to blink before Tessa began screaming as she jolted in the chair.

“That’s enough,” the man ordered someone off screen and it was like a switch was flipped. The screaming stopped, and Tessa fell limp, her head rolling to the side as Jace tried to stop emself from shaking. “You can stop this. You can save them. You can free them. Nyar and his crew will be kept alive and unharmed, and your crew will go free. I don’t want them dead, only subdued… their death isn’t necessary,” he promised, as he held out a card. “I’ll give you two days to consider my proposal. Two days, and don’t think we’re not watching. Don’t think we won’t know the moment you mutter a word of this to anyone… You find yourself uncooperative… well Jacelyn, there will be no one left for you to save.”

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I want people to know that I claim the label p-shifter because I am literally a being that transforms into a cougar. I practice it, sure, I didn't exactly topple out of the womb shifting, but that's what I am. Why the hell would I water down what I am because others won't stomach it well?

I dont affiliate myself with p-shifters who use it to manipulate or abuse others. *stop getting the two mixed up*.

There are bad people, but stop using the label p-shifter as a callout to find your "bad people". You are looking in the wrong place.

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

I honestly don't really see a reason to fight others about what they think about p-shifters

Yes I've argued in the past

But like at the end of the day I don't know you, you don't know me, and i will most likely not interact with you again

people call p-shifters cultists. But like, we don't call ourselves cultists without good reason. We don't even call each other or ourselves p-shifters inside our own groups. Most of yall just see the word p-shifter and automatically assume, so please block me lol. I'm not going to talk with people who don't accept me, period lmao. (As in, block me if you are actively going against those who call themselves p-shifters ty)

We just are animals. That's it, we are just who we are. We aren't spending ages talking and arguing about how p-shifting works and running around in circles arguing usually.

It usually just consists of "Look i found this cool thing out!" and others will go ":0000" and then talk about tarot cards or the weather or something lol. Or there will be analysis, but either way we are just living and communicating with those who agree with us when it comes to our identity.

Most of those who are actually cultists are immature, childish adults who have nothing better to do with their lives usually then fight with teenagers and make more rules on how to exist within your identity. We ignore them and don't give them a platform, then its done for (usually again).

Tbh i feel like a lot of people don't realize that our communities (alterhuman and physical nonhumans) are nearly identical, except of one fact that we have been arguing over since the internet has existed. Like... 20 years.

None of us really don't care anymore if you continue to make warnings about how abusive or cult-like we are, when we know we aren't 🤷

I mean like there are and will always be those who pipe up in defense for us, and I honestly really appreciate it. I don't like being perceived as a cultists or an evil person because I identify with something 💀

Its just a known fact that we aren't accepted outside of our small community (which allows cults to grow in mass because some feel completely unsafe otherwise without that one group) but we deal with it anyways.

We find others like us and giggle about it, maybe share some help with others about being able to master some shifts better or puzzle slme identitystuff out, then we are on our way. We don't group for long periods of time in the shifter community lol.

Also, did you know that therian meant the same thing in the really early days? Like therians now, and physical nonhumans, they all called themselves therians. We still have old guides on how to shift referring to therians instead of shifters.

Regardless, I like mrrping on the internet and decided i would ramble a few more times to you guys.

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

Just to comment on the recent discourse about researching your species -

YOU DONT.

It cam be helpful, yes, incredibly so. It sucks to not be informed on certain things that may have misled you to thinking you were one thing but you aren't, BUT that doesn't mean that you arent who you say you are because you made a mistake on one or two details.

Ive personally always been someone to heavily research things. If I am researching something I will spend HOURS focusing on it and trying my hardest to get my facts straight. I have an innate fear of getting things wrong lol.

But like listen

I found out i was a cougar one day just because I just knew i was. The only thing I knew about them was they were elusive cats that lived in my area.... and that was from the very basic amount of research i did of animals in my area.

I will always hold research to the highest esteem, and believe it's really helpful for those to connect with your animal. But it's also incredibly daunting of a task, believe me - it took me TWO YEARS to finish my research because it felt like such a big task. Ain't no way you have to do as detailed as I did lol.

All of you are valid whether you do research or not. I know research can be tough to do when you are new to it, and I know what it's like to constantly be scrabbling to want to know as much as possible about yourself and your other side.

Doesnt help that nobody really gives much help on HOW to Research your other side :/

but also I see the point in how important it can to know the basic indicators between animals, so you don't run in circles and can identify what you are feeling. That's why research happens, but that's also why when we get corrected online it is very similar to doing research.

Think of research like teaching yourself through what others have put out there. When someone corrects you, they are also teaching you (don't get me wrong this is flawed logic people do lie but it alerts you of what you MAY have wrong.)

Both of you (I know that it involves at least two blogs but not sure how far it reaches) are sort of on the mark but being a bit extreme about your points :b

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

Reminder to all of those looking to reclaim the p-shifter label

Please spend the time trying to understand the community behind it. It's important to understand what exactly is behind the label you want to have as your own.

Theres a whole history behind our community, and you not spending the time to understand it nor realize that it's even important erases it's identity and weight of the label itself

By claiming a label but not understanding how it came to be, it changes the meaning of the label depending on how you define it

obviously, there has been a history of abuse and lying in *some* places. Not all, not every p-shifter ever has been an abusive liar nor should the label ever had to cross into the territory where it can be reclaimed :b

But regardless, I can't do anything about how its perceived to others, only how I act and be.

(Tl;Dr - Do your research before claiming a label, its harmful to not understand how the label is understood by both outsiders and those who actually use it.)

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

What Tags do I use?

p-shift : talking of shapeshifting, or physically shifting. Make sure to blacklist this tag if you DO NOT want to see this sort of thing.

therian : talking of mentally shifting/therian-esque sort of things. You will most likely never see p-shifting stuff in this tag.

mountain lion.txt : General musings / ramblings about my identity, contains a mash of both p-shifting and therian-esque information.

Frostbane hisses: General discourse replies that I make against other posts. Includes everything involving shifting itself really

Puma Vibes.txt: Full to the brim of images that are foresty, anything that really reminds me of my animal's natural habitat. Please block this tag if you hate spam/seeing nothing but this.

Human Override.txt: Off topic or human stuff. I would recommend blocking this tag if you hate seeing this stuff from me. Includes LGBTQ, aspec, nonbinary, wlw, a tiny bit of politics (usually only about Bill's or laws about human rights, or nature), etc.

*Just know that I try very hard NOT to crosstag, because I dont like arguements and stirring up the pot. If you come onto my blog and find p-shifting stuff and you absolutely hate that and want to come at me, its literally in my bio.

** Please block me/unfollow me if you do NOT like p-shifters, or really just think they should die/are cultlike/are manipulative/etc. Not really for those hateful vibes y'know, doesnt matter what its about.

Those who are clinical please be wary while surfing my blog, I post about p-shifting often.

I may expand on this later, and include it in my new intros post!

[childrenoflight-darkness-nothing]

“Any loyalty I had to the regiment died years ago.”

“Perhaps.” He stood before em once again, and leaned his head to the side a little as he tossed a shoulder. “But I’ve heard you’ve grown quite close to a particular renegade; Nyar Frostbane.”

Eir gaze flicked to his as soon as the name was spoken, eir composure finally breaking; if even for a moment.

“And wherever he is, well his merry band of traitors is sure to be close by,” he continued, grin widening as he stepped closer to em. “And much like the former captain… well rumor has it you were always more loyal to your crew than anything else.”

Jace flinched. “My crew is dead,” ey hissed.

“Are you quite certain about that?”