#i don’t wanna hear any victim blaming here

[brrmian]

something that so many star wars fans somehow fail to realize is that george lucas always intended for the fall of the republic to be a completely unavoidable tragedy. that’s what makes it such brilliant storytelling.

placing the blame on just one party in the galaxy-wide farce that was the clone wars just isn’t interpreting the story the way its writer intended. neither is saying that all players should be held equally accountable. i don’t think the jedi were at fault for the state of the republic, and (despite the fact that he did horrible things) neither was anakin, on a galactic or governmental scale.

the real villain is palpatine, who shaped the government into a corrupt system by his own hand. the blame for turning a democratic republic into an authoritarian dictatorship (which it was long before it became the empire) under the noses of thousands of incredibly corrupt politicians must be placed entirely on him, and him alone.

by the end of the war, the jedi council recognized that they had already lost the ability to hold onto what it truly means to be a jedi. in their prime during the days of the old republic, the jedi knights were “the guardians of peace and justice.” they’re meant to as diplomats, peacekeepers, mediators, and public servants. when the clone wars began, they were essentially forced into being soldiers, generals, and quasi-politicians by palpatine and the senate. all of those things are antithetical to the jedi’s beliefs, but they had no other choice.

placing even the smallest bit of blame on the jedi for anything leading to the republic’s downfall—and their own—is not only unfair, it’s factually incorrect. the jedi order is a monastic organization. they have no say in the senate and no voting power. saying they’re corrupt, when in fact they were just as conned by palpatine as the rest of the galaxy, is victim-blaming and scapegoating.

palpatine shoved the jedi face first into fighting the war, and pretty much threw the clone army into their laps on top of that. the jedi had no say in the matter, and they certainly had no say in the war itself being started, either. because he controlled both sides, palpatine was able to make the CIS and the republic declare war on each other even though its citizens wanted the same outcome: political independence and survival. if not for palpatine’s schemes, the separatists would have been allowed to secede peacefully, the republic would have continued existing, and the war would have been completely avoided. but that was unfortunately not the case.

so in a galaxy thrown into an unavoidable war by its own secret dictator, with an army of sentient slaves suddenly at their command, and the risk of billions of deaths at the hands of the droid army imminently approaching, what do the galaxy’s official peacekeepers have no other choice but to do? be peacekeepers. why wouldn’t the sworn defenders of the galaxy be out on the battlefields trying to end the war? if they sat in the temple and did nothing, they simply wouldn’t be jedi.

the jedi were forced into a lose/lose situation. every religion and organization has faults, but that doesn’t place any blame on them for the catch-22 they were trapped into falling for. when the clone wars started—and the key point here is that it never should have in the first place—the jedi still needed to be jedi. unfortunately for them, that meant having positions of power not meant for them being thrust upon their shoulders. they couldn’t drop the burden, because that meant actively choosing not to save lives—but the other option, becoming soldiers despite the tenet of their beliefs that dictates they shouldn’t, was no better.

see what a cruel trap palpatine set? it’s like a fish being caught in a fisherman’s net. the net is spread out across the ocean floor, and the fish swim above it, not knowing that the trap is waiting to be drawn in around them from below. in the end, when the net starts to tighten, dragging them closer to the surface, they can’t swim fast enough to escape from the middle to the edge—and to safety—before the net is completely tied. it’s the cruelest kind of trap: the kind that gives you just the right amount of time to think you can escape while being sprung just quick enough to make actually escaping impossible.

in the end, the order actively chose to fight the war because they needed to. there was no other way to continue on as who they were. militarizing the order was not the right choice in a vacuum, but this was not that; this was a situation in which every galaxy-changing choice was the wrong one. the jedi knew they were making a decision that drew them farther away from their beliefs, but it was the lesser of an infinite list of evils, and they didn’t see the walls closing in on them until it was too late.

lucas himself has even said that the order was not corrupt or decaying from the inside, nor did they make a series of bad choices that ultimately led to their own destruction. they were always just trying to do the right thing—but unlike literally everything else in fiction, the jedi order’s death was completely unaffected by any of the choices they made. no matter what they did, they were always going to lose. the fall of the republic wasn’t caused by its defenders choosing what they saw as the least bad choice. it didn’t come down to any decisions, political or not, that the jedi council made with the limited tools that they had. it certainly didn’t come down to one emotionally unstable twenty-three-year-old’s slow descent into insanity, either. the republic and the jedi would still have been destroyed with or without anakin’s unhinged nervous breakdown.

anakin, just like the order, the republic, and the separatists, was taken advantage of by palpatine. even if a person’s choices are their own, they don’t exist in a vacuum.

anakin would have made better choices if not for palpatine, but he didn’t. the jedi order would have kept the peace if not for palpatine, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t. the republic, and democracy with it, would not have crumbled if not for palpatine. not the order, not anakin, not the separatists, and not the republic.

in the end, they were all just pawns in a decades-spanning plan, one that none of them saw coming until it was too late—and by then, it was already irreversible.

[baileypie-writes]

Do you still write for Joker?

Because I was wondering if you had any headcannons for Joker x Male Siren reader, if you don't mind, of course!! Ooh and maybe the reader really likes jewelry and often loves giving Joker a bunch of random shiny trinkets as gifts? /nfaa

A/N ~ Yep, I still write for him! Just a quick question, what does /nfaa mean? I’m not familiar with that tone tag. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

~Joker With a Siren Boyfriend~

~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~

Fandom: Smile Pretty Cure!

Fanfic Type: Headcanons

Reader: he/him pronouns, a siren

Relationship: Romantic

Characters Included: Joker

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 535

Warnings: Mentions of Reader killing people(drowning)

~Masterlists~

~Smile Pretty Cure! Masterlist~

‼️Glitter Force stans DNI‼️

~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~

~ Being different species, you’d expect Joker to be clueless about quite a few things when it comes to sirens. Though, surprisingly, he’s very educated. You’re not sure if this knowledge existed before meeting you, or if he did research. But no matter which it is, it certainly is nice for someone to understand you. Especially when everyone else doesn’t.

~ Joker truly lives up to his name. He always jests about being hypnotized by your voice as a way of flirting. Both of you know that if that were true, he’d be dead. But it doesn’t stop him. He even jokingly begs for you to sing to him.

Joker: “It’s so dull around here. If only a handsome siren would sing me a song to brighten up my day!”

(name): “Joker, I can’t. Unless you wanna drown in this pool.”

Joker: “But wouldn’t that be such a pleasant way to die?”

(name): “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you to die.”

~ Even if you can breathe oxygen, he always makes sure there’s water around for you. He wouldn’t want you to dry out! Besides, he wants you to feel more comfortable. Someone who’s native to the water probably isn’t used to being in such a dry environment.

~ The only time Joker ever goes to the human world other than to fight the Pretty Cure is to take you to the beach. He wants you to be able to enjoy the open water without the restrictions of the size of pools. It makes him so happy to see you swimming around as much as you like.

Joker: “How’s the water?”

(name): “Cold and salty. Just how I like it! I admit that humans have good beaches!”

Joker: “Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

~ He often reads whatever fairy tales you appear in just to see you or your species. But of course, those stories have happy endings. But Joker doesn’t mind taking some creative liberties. You’ll later find the book with the last few pages ripped out, with brand new, hand-drawn pages in their place.

(name): “‘And then all the fishermen drowned, and the siren claimed more victims.’ What? That’s not how the story goes.”

Joker: “Oh, I know. I just fixed it.”

(name): “Haha! Well thanks Joker.”

Joker: “It was nothing, my dear.”

~ He loves hearing all the stories you have about luring sailors and other humans to their deaths with your song. It’s such a beautiful power to him. He always says that if he were to die, he’d want to do so just like your victims.

~ You’re the only one that Joker doesn’t make fun of or scold for your shortcomings as both a fairytale villain and a member of Bad End. He blames the humans for your losses. And he always comes to your defense if someone else blames you.

Wolfrun: “I heard you failed again, (name)? What’s with that? Did your fishy smell drive them away? Ha!”

Joker: “(name) has no legs, so I imagine it’s hard for him to get around. Do you have an excuse, Wolfrun?”

Wolfrun: “Uh…”

Joker: “I see. I think it’s best you leave now. In fact, why not pay a visit to the Pretty Cure yourself?”

~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~🃏~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[9w1ft]

i wanna be LSK but… //

I’m so sorry anon, but I personally find it really funny when people hear the songs where taylor is working through her feelings of being betrayed by Scott B and attribute them to karlie instead.

It’s like finding a man holding a gun standing over a dead body and saying, hang on a minute… what if the real murderer is the victim’s gf… because two of her friends liked a gossipy tweet written by a known shit-stirrer!

that is to say, we know for a fact that taylor felt deeply betrayed by scott b, seeing as he’s verifiably the actual person who sold her masters to scooter, after treating taylor like family since she was very young. it’s pretty self-evident he deserves the level of vitriol in the smallest man who ever lived (besides the other descriptive details that link him to tsmwel, mtr etc).

as for taylor and karlie suddenly never being seen together again (seemingly drifting apart a whole year before the heist even happened, remember?), well she hasn’t spoken on that, so naturally we read between the lines in the songs to find out. some people have taken the masters heist songs to be about karlie, and ran with that. but others see karlie and taylor’s retreat into privacy reflected in songs under the ‘love blackout’ theme (especially around here, you’re on a longtime kaylor blog 🙈)

love blackout = the hints taylor has put out again and again that she intentionally distanced her public image from karlie’s because it was too dangerous to carry on as openly as they had at first. 2016 election sadness themes, secret love themes, all consistent over the years. all while writing new love songs that use callbacks to the rep muse, to yail even 🥺. as if taylor’s been using all the confusion and her masterful quill of misdirection to achieve her priority of protecting karlie. not protecting karlie’s public image and clout with swifties, which she doesn’t need to maintain her success because she was always successful in her own right! no, it’s all for Karlie The Person in their secret bubble of reality. all this showmanship, you know. the great war, hello!!!! too many songs to name where the kaylor chandelier is safely out of sight, but you can still see flickers through the boarded up windows ❣️

so forgive me for having a chuckle. to any anons who sincerely🛸want to believe, I’m just throwing it out there that there are plenty of us that never found the karlie-betrayer theory convincing at all. if you take a closer look at everything, the timeline of events and all the songs since, does it really make sense? (especially when there are so many shitty men in the mix who are more obviously to blame lol)

~ if you post, thank you for facilitating this rant 9wing, I’ll get off my soapbox now xxx

yup yup

i think a lot of people are predisposed to blaming karlie and so everything becomes a sort of confirmation bias.. which partially, i would argue, was by design.. so in a sense i do not fault gaylors or others for falling into this hole. but i do sometimes feel like faulting them a tiny bit for those who never climb out of it. there’s plenty of information and clues needed to figure it out and climb out of it.

one thing i don’t like about the whole “let’s not talk about muses” discourse is while the spirit of it is supposed to be “let’s study why these songs sound gay instead of commenting taylor lyrics on these people’s instagram pages,” in practice the phrasing almost is like giving yourself permission to pass judgement on the people in taylor’s story and then never reevaluate them. people often say ~lets not talk muses that’s invasive and gross~ and conveniently refuse to adjust their perception of karlie (for example) based on what taylor is putting out there, while making convenient exceptions for any interpretation they find that works to reinforce their already negative perception of her. and then after bitching about her they’ll cover their timeline in lisa frank dolphins because apparently that’s what paradise is. i dunno. it all feels dystopian to me atp 😆

[truckreincarnation]

Fantastical Ideals never play out correctly upon a Stage | Esmée | Trial 4.4 | Re: Theophania, Avery, Shinjuku, Bian | ATTN: Theophania

I hate you, I hate you!

The cries continued to ring out. If Theophania had kept up her sub-par performance as a villain, perhaps she may have lent herself into the role she wished for her to play. To cry and scream at her for what she claims she purposefully did. What she once claimed she had no remorse for doing.

But this sort of rousing. It seemed unlike the other; at least in Esmée’s eyes. Maybe she was a fool, full of her usual naivety, but playing the fool was always easier than playing the antagonist. Leaning back as she witnessed everyone who had far more kindness than she could ever give out run to Theophania’s side in some sense.

Prompt her.

Figure out the actual truth here.

And as the next confession rolls out, she keeps her gaze on the Crown Princess. To look away would be to spit in the face of her agony. She screams out the fact that she killed, that she didn’t know, and Esmée nods slowly.

“Theophania, frankly, you were reckless. But…I don’t blame you.” 

The wish to run away was always on everyone’s thoughts here. Nobody wanted to be here. And with the recent departure of two of them, the idea must’ve sprung up again. The wish to join those who departed, to be free of this nonsense and all the drama that came with it.

“...sorry for implying anything in this case was done on purpose. I didn’t want to outrule the possibility, but still, it must’ve hurt to hear. You were just trying to escape.” A beat. “I can deal with being hated but I ain’t about to reflect your hatred. Hells since the last trial you’ve been grieving - why should I hate you for feeling something natural?” 

Fear, upset, anger. These were just another of the normalities - other everyday things they had to put up with. Theophania finally cracking didn’t seem strange to her.

“Forgiveness or condemnation is up to the victims. And I have a feeling if I yelled at you, Frank would hit me upside the head and tell me to knock it off. That or Luz would get my ass on the issue. Neither of ‘em have a hard time telling me when I’m being a little shit.” 

There’s a weak, sad, smile that she flashes the other.

“Thank you for the confession, too. Um…I won’t know if it’ll work but…if you wanna clear mental fog, I often gave Frank a small pinch when he was spiralling and it snapped him out of it. It won’t get rid of every bad thing, but it’s something.”

… 

“I don’t particularly wanna see anyone suffer any more than this place already wrings out of us.” She murmurs, “so the pinch offer goes to anyone else, too…”

[sweetmusingss]

I finish up my shift, hanging up my apron and smiling a bit sadly as I did so since it was the last time I would be doing it. I knew it was for the best and I could focus on my passion project now but I was going to miss working so closely with you. It’s not like I wouldn’t still come in here every day though. “I’m gonna go pick Noah up but I’ll see you later. You can come over whenever you’re ready. I don’t care how early it is,” I say, wanting you to know that I wanted as much time with you as I could get. “I am going to head over to Doose’s, though,” I say, referring to the market. “Is there anything you want me to pick up for you? Maybe some fruit?,” I tease you, figuring you ate pretty healthy based on your physique. I didn’t want to completely turn you off by letting you see that I ate junk food. Especially now that I didn’t have a tour or anything of the sort, I didn’t obsess too much over calorie counting.

“I’m going to close up and then I’ll head right over...” Seb didn’t want to tell you that he was going to close up and then run up to his apartment that was over the diner and change into probably 5 or 6 different outfits before finally just putting this same one back on because he was a nervous wreck. “Fruit is always a good idea... ice cream would also be nice, especially if we’re going to be watching movies with a child. I know I look like I am in shape, but I promise, I eat way more sweets and candy and chocolate than you’d think... I’m not all that healthy. But really, whatever you wanna get is totally up to you. I’m fine with whatever.” He gives you a sweet smile, trying to push away the bittersweet feeling of you hanging up your apron and leaving. On one hand it meant that you two could get closer now without that professionalism thing getting in the way... but on the other hand, Seb wasn’t going to be able to spend his entire day with you anymore. He knew you’d come in still, of course, but it wouldn’t be the same. 

__

Frank flushed from your comment, his cheeks pink as he stared back at you. He immediately paid for his drink as you made it, loving that he didn’t even have to order it. You knew exactly what he wanted and it thrilled him. He was pretty shy when talking about what he wanted but you always seemed to know exactly what he wanted without him having to say it. He never had that before with any partner and it was comforting to him. “Yeah, G and I weren’t loving the what our newest artist was giving us so we just had a really long writing session. Don’t expect me to be speaking so eloquently tonight because I am mentally exhausted,” he chuckled lightly before taking a sip of the drink when you gave it to him. “Enough about me, though. How are you, love? How has your night been?,” he asked you. It wasn’t like he wanted to hear about you entertaining other men but he also took an interest in you and always wanted to hear about how your day was.

“I would love to see some of your lyrics someday... I bet you write such deep, meaningful music. And I don’t blame you for being tired, baby.” I reach out and tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear, giving him a sweet smile. I didn’t want to believe what Greg had said. I didn’t want to think of Frank as an obsessive person, or that he could ever cross a line with me where I would inevitably feel unsafe one day with him. I wanted to believe that he was just a super sweet, super intense, slightly impulsive man who liked me and my company... not that I was just another ‘victim’ of his fixations and obsessions. “I’m exhausted too. It was my friend’s birthday last night so we all went out... Didn’t get home until nearly 4 or 5 and then slept for a few hours before waking up and dragging my ass into the shower and then here. I’m running on Redbull right now. But luckily for me, the club is always dead on Wednesday nights...” I took an Uber last night, putting it on Frank’s card since he told me to do it anytime I needed it and being hammered at 4:30am in NYC definitely warranted getting an Uber. I didn’t know that he had linked me to his account, unaware that he could see and track my rides and movement within the app. “Speaking of Gee, I hope he isn’t too upset with you or with me for the drama at his engagement party...”

[tower-of-erinyes]

The Blame Game | Kesley | Trial 1.5 | RE: Beni, Angelo, Mika | ATTN: Atropos, Drew, Beni

“Hey. To the blondie over there that did jack-shit all investigation and trial.”

Oh, yeah. Looks like someone did, in fact, take offense to Ruby’s lackadaisical attitude with regards to the trial. 

“I’m the last guy that wants to hear people fuck about in a goddamn fucking murder trial. I don't think the victim deserves any of this bullshit. But you know something? I’d still be more willing to tolerate bullshit from the people who actually did shit. Understand what I mean? You have no room to call a defense shit or not, I'm surprised you're even aware of what's going on.” 

Ouch. Right to the point on that one, huh? 

"Exploring the motive is fine and all, but just looking at whether someone was cold or broke is probably blinding us to some possibilities. I don't think one's more compelling than the other." He addresses Mika and Dante here on that front. "The money only involved one person, right? Only the saboteur has access to that possibility. The motive, however, affected everyone by putting all our lives in direct danger. We all would have frozen to death at some point had a murder not occurred. We could just as easily explore the avenue that somebody here felt the need to play hero by sacrificing one for the many."

There's just. A lot going on. Kesley's kind of impatient. He's just going to get right into it here.

“If you want my opinion?” Nobody does, but go on, Kesley. “As someone who actually investigated with the intent of giving this poor girl some justice?” (Wow. Another low-blow, huh? Damn. Going for the throat on some people here.) “Both Beni and Drew have some fucking explaining to do, because neither of their explanations so far has cut it for me.” 

Honestly, he didn’t trust either one as far as he could throw them right now. Granted, probably shouldn’t phrase it like that. He’s pretty sure he could soccer kick a nerdy bean pole like Drew a good few yards, but he digresses. 

“Everyone’s so quick to say that this guy was just being an incompetent idiot.” Kesley jerks his thumb over in Drew’s direction. “However, playing dumb’s gotten me and a few buds out of a few assault charges myself. It’s a legitimate strategy. And it fucking works when it’s used right. Clickbait over there made that point earlier." Guilt-tripping is also a good strategy, but that's neither here nor there.

"So I wanna know, right now. Does anyone here really, honestly, wholeheartedly believe that this guy is as incompetent and moronic as he’s appeared to be throughout this entire trial? That he's really that blind and deaf to his circumstances? Because I don't think so. He had enough foresight to determine from the rules that he'd be safe from the possible killer's retaliation. In fact, he's the only one of us who recalled that little tidbit and used it to his advantage. Personally, I refuse to believe he's mentally capable and sound enough when in the presence of a dead body to deduce that much and not realize, at the same time, what an utter fucking buffoon of a red herring he's making himself to be. Understand what I mean? Or does everyone really not want to explore that avenue? Because I’ve pegged you as a lot of things myself, Drew, and believe me, ‘dumb and incompetent’ were not on the list.” 

He lets that hang for a bit before shifting his attention. Then his gesture pivots to Beni, and. Ugh. He doesn’t wanna address this any longer than he needs to. Let's get this over with. 

“As for this guy, yes, for the one that asked. I did see him with something strange on his face this morning. Yes, it could have been a bruise of some kind. I can't say for certainty, because everything that Beni said was true, and I won't risk fucking around with selective recall or memory biases here. I can't give a wholly accurate testimony on what was up with Beni's face. I didn't get a good, clear look, and I didn't even remember about it until much later. But I wouldn't put the possibility out the window."

Sorry he can't be more helpful on that front. Unfortunately, this is the best he can give. This whole thing is getting way too complicated. He just wants to wrap this up and quickly. "So. Do I know if the mark on Beni matches with Tsukiko’s injury? No, not in the slightest. Would it have been a great cover to goad me into attacking him this morning? Sure. Does it prove he’s the one who did this? Again, no. But it is pretty fucking suspicious. But Beni’s also been picking fights left and right since he got here. Just because someone lost their patience with him and possibly decked him in the face before I did doesn’t necessarily mean it has anything to do with the case. But dancing around it isn’t a good fucking look, either, so how about you cut the bullshit yourself, Beni, before you make me really fucking angry.” 

His arms folded across his chest as he lightly kicked at the podium, a heavy scowl on his face. He's well-aware this is getting a bit long-winded, and he doesn't trust the attention span of half the people here. He swears to god, if someone like, he doesn't know, Dante, hits him with a snarky 'TLDR,' he is going to shove the Reddit mascot down their throat so hard, they're shitting karma for a month.

“My conclusion here is neither of you are telling us the whole story. Beni, you’re a shit-stirring arrogant lowlife, and I wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire, and I absolutely wouldn't put murder past you. Drew, you’ve hidden way too much throughout this investigation, whether accidentally or on purpose, to be considered at all trustworthy. So, for the rest of us who aren't hiding evidence in our storage chests or fucking knives on our person like a crazed fucking hitchhiker murderer, we’ve got two main suspects here, yeah? We're not getting anything damning or exculpatory out of either of them. We're kinda just chasing our tails here. The next step should be comparing them against each other, right? Their stories, their evidence. Because from the looks of things right now, one of you is guilty." He shifts a suspicious glare between Drew and Beni, letting them know with just one cursory glance that he didn't trust either of them.

"I'll come out and say it now. I fully believe it's one of you. So if I’m right, that means the both of you should know who the killer is between you two. The culprit obviously knows. And the other will know by default. If you're innocent, that means the other is guilty. Because all this useless circling around and around is getting me pissed. Drew had the right idea earlier. Instead of trying to convince us of your innocence, how about you start trying to prove the other's guilt?"

His eyes sweep across the room, his scowl deepening. “And since some of us can’t be bothered to take this seriously. Maybe we ought to be fully aware of what happens at the end of this whole fucking farce.” Oooh, look at Kesley, using such big words.

“I mean, think about it. Because I have. I've been thinking over it a lot, actually? Like why I should even bother with all this, apart from the fact that Tsukiko deserves some justice. There’s gotta be some stakes involved here, otherwise, there wouldn’t be a need to turn this whole thing into a judge-and-jury thing instead of just a goddamn murderous free-for-all. Why have this trial in the first place and not just let the killer leave, huh? Beni and Drew aren’t the only ones holding back information, so, hey, Shit-Lips. If you’re dead-set on having us play your fucked up game, you better be telling us all the rules in advance and information in advance. Otherwise, why the fuck are we even playing? I'll walk out right now. And why shouldn't I? Why don't you tell me what's stopping me? If you can't, I'm bouncing. What's. The fucking. Point.”

Shit-Lips. He means Atropos. I’m so very sorry.

“You never told us what specifically happens if we get the culprit wrong or right. Yeah, the culprit gets to escape the tower if they get away with it, right? Is that really it? But what happens if they don’t get away it? Nothing? Do they get a re-do? Oops, try again? Maybe next murder?" His voice is dripping with some serious sarcasm here. No one ever advertised Kesley came with this much sass.

"You said, in your own rules, there would be a punishment. You never told us what this punishment is, and how it applies respectively to a correct or incorrect verdict. This can't not have any greater stakes, or there'd be nothing to keep us playing your game. You’re hiding something, and I want you to spill it.”

[daxwritesstories]

INT. Large radio classroom - Afternoon

Cyra walks into the classroom. She stops suddenly when she sees Conrad standing at the front of the room with two unfamiliar women.

CONRAD: Good afternoon, Cyra.

CYRA: Afternoon…

One of the women takes a step forward, neatly holding her hands together.

TIFFANY: Hi there. My name’s Tiffany. This is Linda.

Tiffany gestures to the other woman.

CYRA: Hi.

Cyra nervously glances at Conrad. 

CONRAD: They’re going to be speaking to you all today. I’m worried that everyone’s been having trouble concentrating in our regular classes.

Cyra’s expression turns fearful. Tiffany notices this.

TIFFANY: It’s alright, darling. No one’s in trouble.

Cyra nods and hurries away to sit down. She picks a spot right on the end of the second row from the door. She sets her bag down on the floor but doesn’t bother opening it. 

She closes her eyes and sighs heavily. We hear her inner monologue.

CYRA (internally): I don’t wanna hear this.

We cut to a bit later. Everyone in the class is seated now. Emmett has taken the seat next to Cyra. 

Faith is sitting in the far back corner. She has her hood up and is sitting with her arms folding, staring blankly forward. Cyra and Emmett both look at her.

EMMETT: Faith seems upset.

CYRA: I don’t blame her.

EMMETT: How are you holding up?

Cyra just shrugs.

EMMETT: Well, if you need to talk I’m here. Ainsley was my friend too.

BEGIN FLASHBACK

INT. Radio room - Afternoon

Emmett and Cyra are sitting at the desk together. Cyra has her laptop open but isn’t using it, talking to Emmett instead.

Emmett laughs.

EMMETT: You’re so fun to talk to, Cyra!

Cyra smiles bashfully.

CYRA: Aww…

EMMETT: It’s so nice to get to talk to you without Ainsley around. I can’t get a word in when she’s here.

END FLASHBACK

Cyra blinks a couple of times, staring at Emmett with a conflicted expression.

CYRA: Uh… thanks.

CONRAD: Good afternoon, everyone.

A few people respond, though no one sounds very enthusiastic.

CONRAD: I know everyone’s feeling low right now. I thought we could use a group talk. This is Tiffany and Linda. I asked them to come in and talk to you guys today. I’ll let them take it away.

Conrad steps to the side, leaning against his desk.

TIFFANY: Hello everyone. Like your teacher said, we were asked to come in and talk to you guys today. First, we’d like to offer our condolences. We know a former classmate of yours chose to end her own life a couple days ago.

Cyra’s head falls forward. We hear her inner monologue again.

CYRA (internally): Fuck fuck fuck! Don’t say it out loud.

LINDA: Losing someone is already hard enough, but when you lose them to suicide it complicates things even more. We are social workers and we both specialize in grief processes, as well as suicide prevention. We know that many of you are probably confused right now and don’t know how to feel.

TIFFANY: One thing we know for sure about suicide is that it can be contagious. We aim to prevent that. Research shows that the best way to do that is to assist everyone who knew the victim with their grieving process. This is supposed to be a conversation, so feel free to interrupt us if you’d like to say something.

LINDA: And we know that this is difficult. If you need to leave the room you can do so whenever you need to. No one will question you.

TIFFANY: Now, would anyone like to say any kind words about your friend Ainsley?

Emmett puts his hand up.

TIFFANY: Yes. Go ahead.

EMMETT: Ainsley was always so nice to me. She never had anything bad to say about anyone. She was such a good friend. I’m so happy that I got to know her.

BEGIN FLASHBACK

INT. Hallway - Morning

Emmett and Cyra run into each other in the hallway.

EMMETT: Hey, Cyra!

CYRA: Hi!

EMMETT: How’s it going?

CYRA: It’s going alright.

EMMETT: Good. Hey, I wanted to tell you something. A few of us were gonna go to a shisha place this weekend. Do you wanna come with us?

CYRA: Sure! What day?

EMMETT: Friday. Um, don’t tell Ainsley though.

Cyra looks confused.

CYRA: Why?

EMMETT: Ehhh, a couple people just don’t want her there. She’ll make it awkward.

CYRA: Oh. Um… I might be busy on Friday actually…

EMMETT: We’d really love to have you there.

CYRA: Uh, I’ll let you know before then, okay?

EMMETT: Sure.

Emmett walks away and Cyra frowns.

END FLASHBACK

LINDA: That’s very sweet. It sounds like you were close with her.

EMMETT: Yeah, I was probably one of her closest friends here.

Wynn puts his hand up. Tiffany gestures to him and nods.

WYNN: Ainsley and I weren’t super close, but I always admired how she was unapologetically herself. Like, she was such a unique person and she never tried to hide it.

BEGIN FLASHBACK

INT. Radio room - Evening

Cyra, Cael, Isaac, and Wynn are casually chatting and joking around. Cyra’s phone buzzes and she checks the text. She giggles when she reads it and starts typing back.

ISAAC: Who has you giggling like that, Cyra?

CYRA: I’m just texting Ainsley.

CAEL: What about?

Cyra smiles and puts a finger over her lips.

CYRA: It’s a secret!

WYNN: Don’t you think Ainsley’s a little weird?

Cyra thinks about it and then shrugs.

CYRA: Yeah. But I’m weird too.

WYNN: No, not, like, a good weird.

CYRA: What do you mean?

WYNN: Well, she’s married but she’s always talking to people on tinder. 

CYRA: She’s in an open-relationship so it’s okay.

CAEL: Yeah, that’s what she told me.

WYNN: Eh, I don’t know about all that. I would need someone to only be interested in me. I don’t know how she can do that.

CYRA: Well, it’s not for everyone.

Wynn shakes his head.

WYNN: It’s just weird, man.

END FLASHBACK

Jenna, who is sitting next to Wynn, joins in on the praise.

JENNA: Yeah! She was such a beautiful person. Inside and out.

Cyra grinds her teeth and roughly grips her knees under the desk. Her breathing is slowly becoming uneven.

BEGIN FLASHBACK

INT. Campus main building upper level - Morning

Cyra, Faith, and Ainsley are sitting together by a window. 

AINSLEY: Not fair that you got to hook up with your classmates! I wanna do that. We have some cuties in our class.

CYRA: Just try it. I mean, why not?

AINSLEY: No, I’d just end up getting hurt. I know that everyone thinks I’m fat and ugly.

FAITH: You’re not fat and ugly. You’re beautiful.

CYRA: Yeah!

AINSLEY: Thanks… But I hear what everyone says about me. They’re not very quiet about it.

Cyra gives Ainsley a sympathetic look. 

FAITH: Fuck what they say. They’re wrong.

Ainsley smiles.

AINSLEY: It’s okay, Faith. I can handle it.

END FLASHBACK

Faith suddenly stands up. Everyone looks at her, including Cyra. Ignoring them all, Faith storms out of the room. She glances at Cyra for a second as she passes her.

The room falls silent after Faith closes the door. 

LINDA: I’ll go check on your classmate. Everyone please continue.

Linda leaves the room.

TIFFANY: Well, I’m happy to hear that you all have such nice things to say about your dear friend. If everyone’s okay with it, I’d like to talk a bit about the grieving process.

Cyra blinks away tears as Tiffany speaks. She shuffles a bit in her seat. The movement breaks her concentration and she accidentally chokes out a sob. She immediately puts her hand over her mouth.

A couple people look over at Cyra, making her even more anxious. Cyra stands up and quietly runs out of the room.

INT. Hallway - Afternoon

Cyra quickly shuts the classroom door and exhales, hand still over her mouth.

After catching her breath, Cyra glances around and sees Faith arguing with Linda on the other side of the hall. Cyra slowly walks up to them.

LINDA: I understand how you feel, but–

FAITH: No you don’t! You just believe anything those fake-ass people in there say!

LINDA: I’m just trying to listen to everyone.

Faith looks at Cyra as she approaches.

FAITH: You agree with me, right, Cyra?

Cyra nods, avoiding eye contact.

FAITH: You and I were the only ones who were ever nice to her. Fuck every single person in that room.

Faith stomps away before Cyra or Linda can say anything else.

The Luxury of Goodbye (vent piece)

[A/N]: This is a "scene" from Cyra's old TV show. It's mostly just me trying to process something...

Content warning: drug abuse, suicide

INT. Cyra’s bedroom - Morning

Cyra is just finishing getting ready to go to school. She puts her laptop into her bag, along with her mouse and charger cord. She zips up the packed-full bag, struggling a bit to get it closed. 

Once she has everything ready, she throws her bag over her shoulder and makes her way to the door. 

She almost makes it out of the bedroom when she suddenly stops. Her shoulders and arms tense up and she tilts her head down, squeezing her eyes shut. She breathes deeply a few times but this doesn’t relax her at all.

She gives up and checks the time on her phone. We see a closeup of her phone. The time is 11:35 and there are a bunch of stacked notifications from her class group chat.

Upon seeing the time, Cyra’s eyes widen in panic. Ignoring the message notifications, she turns around, going back into her room. 

Cyra heads straight for her closet and picks up a bottle of Advil from one of the shelves. She hastily pours six pills into her hand and puts the bottle back onto the shelf. She reaches into the side pouch on her bag and takes out her coffee thermos. She takes a large swig of the liquid inside and shoves all six pills into her mouth, swallowing them in one go. 

She isn’t done yet. Cyra reaches past the Advil bottle and grabs one of the packets of cold medicine behind it. She removes two of the blue pills from the packet. She uses her coffee thermos again to swallow them. 

Looking just as anxious as before, Cyra breathes a heavy sigh and leaves her room.

EXT. Train station - Morning

Cyra waits by herself at the train station. She seems just as anxious as she usually is, but she also looks a bit dizzy, involuntarily swaying at random.

It’s a warm sunny morning. So warm that Cyra isn’t even wearing her coat, just her hoodie. There is only a slight breeze that gently brushes through Cyra’s hair. The train station is relatively empty. Only a few small groups of people are there waiting.

As she waits for the train, Cyra glances down at the tracks. This makes her even more anxious. She closes her eyes and takes a deep, slow breath. We hear her inner-monologue as she breathes.

CYRA (internally): I feel like something terrible is going to happen today.

Cyra opens her eyes again and we hear the automated train announcer.

ANNOUNCER: The next train is arriving. Please stand behind the blue line.

INT. Train car - Morning

Cyra sits on one of the side benches in the train car. The train is so empty that Cyra has the entire bench to herself.

Cyra stares out the window across from her as another train passes in the opposite direction. The other train warps a bit as it passes. The windows and paint patterns shift from moving horizontally to moving diagonally. Cyra doesn’t react to this.

Cyra’s phone buzzes, catching her attention. She turns on the screen and sees a message from Arella. Cyra makes a confused face and opens the message. We hear Arella’s voice reading out the text.

ARELLA (voiceover): Hey, are you okay?

Now Cyra is even more confused. Regardless, she answers honestly. We hear her voiceover as she types her response.

CYRA (voiceover): Not really.

A new message from Arella pops up almost immediately.

ARELLA (voiceover): Well if you need someone to talk to I’m always here for you.

Cyra just stares down at her phone with a look of pure anxiety. Before she can even start typing back, another message pops up, this time from Travis.

TRAVIS (voiceover): Hey man, are you doing alright?

CYRA (whispering): What?

Now panicking, Cyra checks her class group chat. There are well over thirty new messages that Cyra has to scroll past. We can catch glimpses of what the messages say. Most of them contain “RIP”. 

Cyra finally stops scrolling when she sees a post linked by Emmett, followed by a message from him.

EMMETT (voiceover): Tragic news. Thought I’d share this post that Ainsley mom made. Everyone should send their condolences. 

Cyra stares blankly at her phone. She moves her finger almost robotically to open the link. She is immediately taken to a Facebook post. 

We don’t get to see the full post for more than a second before it is zoomed in to certain words in it. First we see “My beloved daughter”, then “gone”, then “Ainsley”, and finally “ended her own life”.

Cyra locks her phone and drops it face down on her lap. She stares at the floor of the train, eyes cloudy and unfocused. Her body then curls forward, wincing in pain.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

I didn’t like this chapter. I’m sorry but there’s nothing Hades can say to excuse his behavior, there was no apology or anything it was just him saying “oh my trauma was so bad that I decided to be a fucked up human being just because of that.” I’ve never been so angry in my life because I know there’s gonna be so many people angry and upset at Thanatos and justifying this absolute steaming hot bullshit. I’m so sick of having to sit through Hades getting out on such an untouchable level while his victims are treated like dog shit. Listen, you could sit up here and say “winnie it’s a comic it’s not going to affect anything” but I don’t like how this is looking you guys, a lot of people in this fandom has this weird victim blaming mentality except when it’s someone they like. I don’t like how this comic rewards you for being a hypocrite and blaming people for the way that others treat them just because it’s their faves, too many people in the world do this already. Because it’s their favorite artist or painter or writer or anything they’ll let them do anything to anyone no matter what.

But on a more lighter note I just don’t like how it didn’t feel like a big deal.. Thanatos was finally being listened to by Hades but Hades took up the whole conversation. Once again it’s about his trauma, his backstory, his childhood. He does this shit every fucking chapter I’m so sick and tired of hearing about him.. I’m so completely tired of him always having the spotlight, he does this shit with Persephone too! Like I don’t like how Thanatos has been overlooked, ignored, disrespected, neglected, and mistreated for so long and the one fucking time we have with him finally being heard and he gets the same treatment he’s always been getting. I feel like this could’ve really been his arc, like for once he stood up for himself and expressed his anger at Hades because he deserves to so much. Not only that but I’ll be real with you, I have a feeling that Rachel made Thanatos forgive Hades so easily just to keep Hades in a “good guy” light. I’m sick of that too, I just wish she had him actually do something good guy worthy for once bro, like how hard is it for Hades just to want to do some good things not for himself obviously if it takes all the characters bending over backwards and feeding him more lies about how great he is then he’s not that fucking great.

Also, I just don’t like Daphne. At first in the beginning I thought this was pretty nice (their relationship) and I was really happy for Thanatos because I really thought he’d have someone who would really be there for him. By now looking back I was wrong as hell, Minthe did a better job with their relationship than Daphne did I’m sorry I’m not even being biased but it’s kinda true. I don’t like how Daphne is basically just there to “fix” Thanatos, it’s obvious she doesn’t see him as adequate or even capable enough to do anything and it’s so annoying, like why are the women in this comic (in relationships it seems) there to “fix” the men?? there’s literally nothing wrong with them damn, they just need someone to be there why does that demean them as broken or wrong. I especially hate that Daphne just ignores all of Thanatos’ boundaries and does what she thinks is right for him, that’s so incredibly insensitive on her part. Your boyfriend obviously told you that he doesn’t want to see a certain someone who literally banished him and neglected him half of his childhood and you still let him in?? Who the hell does that shit?

Anyways, the next thing I wanna add is that I just absolutely hate that Hades didn’t even put in any effort. Like are you serious?? Half his life you treated him like a game inventory and you ignored and neglected this CHILD who was abandoned by his mother and your resolution to that was to invite him to one brunch.. Are you fucking serious?? It’s not even a brunch with only him and Thanatos it’s with his brothers too so he won’t even get one on one time with him. Like why is everyone cool with Hades doing that? He’s not even trying to put in effort to show up STILL even after hearing Thanatos out. I’d love for them to at least play golf or something, let Hades ask what Thanatos wants to do, give him a raise, apologize maybe??, bond over fucking gossip I don’t know, let him in on what you want to do with the underworld, do something with him that’s just you and him. Think about it wingnut that’s literally all he’s ever wanted from you, your time and attention. Asshole, like honestly that’s so fucked up I bet that’s the only fucking brunch he’ll be invited to too.

Last thing maybe because this has to be the most pissed I’ve ever been because of a damn chapter in LO yes it’s because Thanatos is involved. My thing is that Hades character flaw, one of many of course, is that he’s infertile and the whole purpose of emphasizing how much his fathers issues affected his life and how much he wants kids it to have one of the climaxes “fixing” his infertility. Me personally, I think the whole thing is pretty fucked up and insensitive, people who are infertile do not need to be fixed they’re regular human beings and they’re fine just the way they are. But my problem is that I hate how he wanted children so badly and when Thanatos was brought into the picture he completely backed off because he felt like it was too difficult, listen I understand the trauma believe me I don’t have the best parents and I worry everyday that if I ever have children I’ll transform into one or even both of them but never will I ever make a child suffer because of that, the child is innocent just like I am and they don’t deserve to be neglected because of my issues. At some point you have to realize that you’re trying so hard not to become your parents that you end up becoming them, you hurt a child and scarred them for life because you were scared and you made that child exactly like you. Listen, I would’ve forgave Hades for this if he didn’t dream about fucking children in his possessed dream or whatever, this is telling us that he still wants to be a father but only to his biological kids. He stopped trying with Thanatos because he was “rude” and “difficult”, newsflash asshole that’s how children are especially when they just got ABANDONED by their own mother and stuck with a stranger to care for them. Like he put no effort into trying to actually do anything fatherly for Thanatos but had the nerve to still want kids of his own, what do you think is going to happen with yours?? It’ll be the same thing. Children are emotional beings they won’t be pleasant all the time and just because they give you a response you don’t like doesn’t mean that it’s okay to just up and stop trying. That’s so stupid, and he doesn’t try and go to therapy for this particular issue or find some advice from people who actually have children he tries nothing he just complains and never tries to make any effort, and Thanatos deserved effort and his future kids deserve them too. You’re supposed to work to not become your parents not just sit there and let your kids experience the worst version of yourself, you know how that feels so why would you do it to someone else?

Anyways, yeah I’ll do the thing later but that’s it’s. I’m just so angry and annoyed it’s unbelievable.

[the-meme-casino]

🎲Madeon Starters🎲

🎲 A collection of Sentence starters based on a few of my favourite Madeon Songs. Feel free to change pronouns/names as you see fit.

🎲Nonsense🎲

“Look, I am here for you.”

“Open up your eyes, and don't look away.”

“When I hear your name, I feel the pain.”

“And now I'm backing out the corner.”

“Don't you think that I'm a runner.”

“I'll be coming with my guns up.”

“Shooting at the moon to bring the sun up.”

“I'm at the bottom we can hide and be forgotten.”

“Come closer, say my name.”

“Say it forever, we can run away together.”

“I keep on crushing on our love like this.”

“ And we don't need to say the words 'cause we're speaking nonsense.”

“ Well you said before.”

“And I'm filled with fears.”

“Well I've been ripped up and tossed like a mouse.”

“Wrestled with the heavens and devil himself.”

“Well I would give my life to another.”

“Don't say anything at all.”

“I don't wanna get pulled out.”

“Just get close to me...close to me.” 

🎲Shelter🎲

“I could never find the right way to tell you.”

“Have you noticed I've been gone?”

“'Cause I left behind the home that you made me.”

“But I will carry it along”

“And it's a long way forward.

“So trust in me.”

“I'll give them shelter.”

“Like you've done for me.”

“And I know, I'm not alone.”

“You'll be watching over us”

“Until you're gone.”

“When I'm older, I'll be silent beside you.”

“I know words won't be enough.”

“And they won't need to know the names or our faces.”

“But they will carry on for us.”

🎲You’re On🎲

“Tell me whose side you're on.”

“You have some nerve showing your face here.”

“It had been so long.”

“I thought you'd disappeared.”

“Why'd you pretend that we're still so close.”

“It was all too clear.”

“We need love.”

“Well damn girl, since you've come around, girl.”

“I need to know right now so, won't you just.”

“Lately, I've thought the chance that maybe, you could become my baby.”

“It's been so long since I heard your thing.”

“I was losing hope, thought you felt the same.”

“And it's been so long since I've seen your face.”

“Doubting my own mind.”

“That I'd been replaced.”

🎲Pay No Mind🎲

“She was dancing, she was smiling.”

"In a quiet kind of litany she accepted some defeat.”

“But you couldn't ever tell.”

“And then she asks me how we got here.”

“I told her, ‘I don't know’.”

“And if you keep on asking, I'll just keep saying so.”

“This isn't what I wanted.”

“It isn't what you need.”

“Oh, let them keep on talking.”

“Just calm yourself and breathe.”

“Don't you pay them any mind.”

“You know this happens every time.”

“And now she's off to tell a secret.”

“To a friend somewhere in town.”

“Darling, this is something I should've told you long ago.”

“I just want you to feel safe, I just wanna make you glow.”

“Oh, how you glowed when we were young.”

“Oh, why do we have to go through this every time?”

“Some days you hear it.”

“Don't listen, I will carry you.

“Some days you don't.”

“Don't listen, I will know.”

“Sometimes you feel it .”

“It's not worth it, help me.”

“Sometimes you won't.”

🎲Innocence🎲

“Breathe out, and breathe in.”

“We'll be forgiven.”

“Together, we wait for space.”

“Together, we wait for silence.”

“And I won't be the victim.”

“And maybe you should know.”

"I'll give up, and give in.”

“It's only a matter of time.”

“I'll let you chase me.”

“And maybe there's nothing to hide.”

“All that ever was and ever is, is nearly coming true.”

“All you ever see, you ever hear, will all come crashing through.”

“When you see that you're needed.”

“You fall in the hands of innocence.” 

🎲Beings🎲

“These will be times that I will miss.”

“Don't blame me if I don't come through.”

“I spent a lifetime on this.”

“But I would give it up for you.”

“Because I know what you do out of passion/”

“But it only makes it harder for me.”

“And I know that you're scared by the notion.”

“We'll become who we're meant to be.”

“Let me be there.”

“And tell me if you need time to prepare.”

“All we'll demand is the world.”

“ We'll become who we're meant because I know.”

🎲The City🎲

“There is a place in the distance.”

“A place that I've been dreaming of.”

“We can dance like there's no tomorrow.”

“I've got to go all the way.”

“I can feel the city crumbling around me.”

“I can't seem to find my way.”

“But I can see a bright light calling through dark night.”

“Hoping I'll find my way.”

“Yeah I had what I wanted.”

“It went away so fast.”

“Yeah I got to let go.”

“We can dance.”

🎲All My Friends🎲

“All my friends are watching.”

“I can hear them talking.”

“Tell me what's going on.”

“Can you take me there?”

“Can you make me care?”

“Yeah, I've been working overtime'.”

“Cause all my friends, they know.”

“If we're the same.”

“Let me let go.”

“Somebody save me from the madness.”

“Life will never be the same.”

“I'm a believer.”

“Don't call us another name.”

“We were born to the same sunrise.”

“It's getting brighter all the time.”

����Finale🎲

“Brace yourself.”

“Your last chance.”

“Last summer.”

“Your last dance.”

"You go out fighting.”

“Go out young.”

“Eclipse the sun.”

“For the grand finale.”

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[soobmint]

paper hearts | choi soobin [f] ; [c] 80s! au, 9.6k words

s u m m a r y ; if there was one thing you wanted to avoid on valentine’s day, it was running into your ex best friend, choi soobin. but when a series of unfortunate events involving too much purple eyeshadow, drunken punches, and one stolen bicycle leads you right back to his side, you begin to realize that maybe you truly belonged with him all along.

c o n t e n t s ; soobin x fem!reader, 80s! au, valentine’s day, ex best friend! soobin, rich boy! soobin, but he’s a major dweeb and the biggest softie, yeonjun is a major prick (i’m so sorry junnie), reader is a part time worker, soobin is best friends with lee felix of stray kids, some themes of social classes, roughly inspired by the 80s movie “pretty in pink,” mentions drugs, alcohol, and single parent households, mostly just fluff, fluff, and more fluff, with a hint of crack/humor

n o t e ; hello friends! this was a very quickly planned, last minute valentine’s day idea, and it’s actually a collab with one of my dearest friends, @chanluster ! she posted her piece of the collab as well, you can check it out by going to the collab masterlist here! this was so much fun to write and i think that 80s! soobin was just too good of a concept to pass up! anyways, happy valentine’s day, i hope you enjoy this oneshot! do leave a like, reblog, or comment if you could, it really helps so much <3

[back to my masterlist] [oneshot playlist]

IF ONE MORE CUT-OUT, CRAFT-PAPER HEART HIT YOU IN THE FACE, YOU WERE GOING TO QUIT YOUR JOB.

Of course you would never actually quit. With your mother out of the picture and your father working nonstop overtime just to barely have enough cash to put food on the table for the both of you, you had come to rely on your minimum wage part-time hours more than you liked to admit. However, the handmade strings of paper hearts that hung from wall to wall throughout the entirety of the record shop you were employed at was enough to make you consider it; not to mention the Phil Collins record that had been spinning all day, filling your ears with melodies embodying the very air of romance, and the embarrassing pink sweater your boss had forced you to wear. You mumbled curses beneath your breath as you pulled at the collar, itching away at your neck.

When you made a step towards a crate full of records, ready to tidy it up after a customer had rummaged through it leaving it a mess, you were met with another face full of cheap red construction paper. With a large growl of exasperation, you swatted at the hearts and accidentally caused the entire string of them to fall to the ground. You cleared your throat, glad that no customers were present to see your little outburst.

Your boss, Jen, still saw it all.

“That’s not very festive of you, kid,” She said, taking a drag on her cigarette. “It’s Valentine’s Day! Lighten up.”

“Ah, my bad. I forgot that I was supposed to be overjoyed on the day honoring the execution of St. Valentine,” You said as you gave her a sarcastic smile. “I’ll make sure to smile at the next couple that walks in and ask them how they plan to contribute to the commercialization of a martyr’s death.”

“You must be real fun at parties,” Jen mumbled. She shook her cigarette at you from behind the counter. “You’re just bitter because you don’t have a valentine. I can’t blame anyone for giving you the cold shoulder with that attitude of yours.”

You scowled, picking up the string of hearts that you had sent crashing to the floor. “I’m not bitter, and I don’t want a date. Also, I told you to stop smoking inside! It smells awful.”

“Last I checked, this was my shop, not yours.” You rolled your eyes as you approached the counter, handing the discarded string to Jen so she could throw it in the trash. “Now you’re making me do chores for you too? You’ve got some nerve, I’ll give you that.”

“Jen, please, I’m really not in the mood for this today.”

Jen shrugged, bending towards the trash can to throw away the string of hearts when she paused and pulled something from the bin. You glanced over your shoulder and gasped when you saw what she held in her hand—a small red envelope with your name scrawled across the front and a pink heart-shaped sticker stuck on the back.

“What’s this?” Jen asked, opening the envelope and shaking out the contents. A single slip of paper fell out, landing atop the counter. You rushed to grab it, but Jen snatched it up just before your fingers reached the countertop.

“Give me that,” You insisted, face growing warm. “I threw it away for a reason!”

“It’s an invitation to a party?” She seemed beyond surprised, glancing back and forth between you and the paper several times. “You got invited to a Valentine’s Day party, and instead of going, you asked me to give you extra hours? Why?”

You looked down at your feet, digging the toe of your sneaker into the blue carpet. There were, in fact, many reasons why you did not want to go to that party. They were as follows:

One: Choi Yeonjun was the one who had invited you. After you had rejected his offer when he asked to take you to a basketball game a month before, you could barely make eye contact with him in the school hallway without feeling guilty. That and the fact that he was one of the richest preps in the school, you knew he had just been asking you out for some sort of prank or dare that you preferred to not potentially fall victim to.

Two: you needed to work as much as you could. Money, as always, was tight for you and your father. There was no way you would sacrifice precious hours to go to a party full of rich kids where nothing but humiliation was sure to await you.

Three: your old childhood friend and the one person you couldn’t bear to see was probably going to be there—Choi Soobin.

You had barely spoken to Soobin in the four years you had been in high school. Crossing paths with him in the cafeteria, turning down the same aisle of books as him in the library, all those tiny stolen glances and accidental encounters were the only bits of interaction you had kept throughout all that time. The worst part was, he hadn’t done anything wrong.

It was nothing but your own cowardice that had driven the two of you apart, and you were still too afraid to own up to it.

Instead of explaining all of this to Jen, you simply shrugged and said, “I dunno. It just sounds lame.”

Your boss sighed, holding the invitation out towards you. “Okay, I’m letting you off early. Go to the party.”

With wide eyes, you shook your head immediately. “Absolutely not. Why in the world would I go?”

“Well, first of all, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Who knows when your next chance to go to a party will be.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at that.

“Second, it’s a holiday! The only reason I even opened today was because you were begging me for hours. I thought it was because you were bummed about having no plans, but clearly it’s because you wanted an excuse to be a recluse.”

“Hey, I’m not a recluse.”

“Clearly.” She shook the invitation at you once more, brows raised. “If you go, I’ll raise your pay by fifty cents for the next month.”

Your ears perked up at that.

“Well?” She asked, well aware that she had hit the jackpot. “What'd ya say?”

Weighing the risks against the benefits, you bit the inside of your cheek.

“Make it a dollar and you’ve got a deal.” 

-

“HAPPY VALENTINE’S, CHOI.”

When Soobin heard the sarcastic remark coming from his best friend, Felix, he had to fight back the urge to burst into tears then and there. He still wasn’t quite sure how Felix had convinced him to come, but he was already regretting it. The last thing he wanted to do to celebrate the day dedicated to love was spend it at a house party—or, as Soobin preferred to call them, any outcast high school kid’s version of hell on earth.

With a quick peek between his fingers, which he had used to cover his eyes immediately upon arriving at the site of the Valentine’s party, Soobin caught another eye-full of couples getting all too familiar with one another out in the open. He gulped, letting his hands grip the handles of the bike as he averted his gaze, choosing to cast his best glare at Felix, who was busy adjusting his ever-present beanie.

“Shut up,” he murmured, slowly sliding off the seat of his bike. He dusted off the worn, tearing cushion, glancing around the area. “Now quick, we gotta put our stuff somewhere safe.”

Felix looked aghast, making no moves to help Soobin in his search for a hiding spot. “What are you doing?”

“Tryna find a safe place for my bike?” He thought the answer to be somewhat obvious, but clearly Felix wasn’t on the same track of thinking. “You don’t know today’s world! Anyone is willing to steal nowadays.”

“Soobin, your bike is coughing up oil from its chains. It should be in its own care home at this rate.”

“I don’t wanna hear your slander, skater boy,” Soobin retorted, eyeing Felix’s ebony skateboard that he refused to be seen without. As if on cue, when he pushed his bike forward, the chains squealed, drawing the attention of a pair of particularly passionate individuals who had been wrapped up with one another moments before. Soobin ignored their annoyed stares, feeling his ears burn from embarrassment. He glanced back to Felix. “Help me find a hiding spot.”

Felix was anything but enthusiastic, but he began to help Soobin search nonetheless.

“Slide it in here, Soobs,” Felix called a few moments later. He was pointed to an empty space between the home’s perfectly trimmed bushes. Soobin pursed his lips together, pushing his large glasses further up the bridge of his nose—a nervous tick of his. Felix groaned, rolling his eyes. “Or you can leave it out in the open so it’ll spit more oil on the passersby? Is that what you want?”

“Fine, fine!” Soobin huffed, wheeling his bike over to the shrubbery, chains squeaking all the way. He carefully laid it beneath the brush and moved a few branches to cover it up nicely. He stood up straight, dusting his hands on the front of his loose blue jeans. “What about your skateboard?”

Felix gave the board a pat, awarding his most prized possession a dazzling smile one would expect to see a proud father giving his beloved son. But in reality, it was the school’s stoner grinning ear to ear at his old, dusty skateboard. “Nightrider stays with me.”

Soobin scrunched his nose, cringing on instinct. He still calls that thing by that stupid name?

Felix clapped him on the shoulder before he could make a remark, catching him off guard when he said, “Right. Let’s go and get your girl.”

There was nothing Soobin could do to stop the flush that rushed to his cheeks right away. Images of you, his ex-best friend and the only reason he had even come to this party in the first place, flashed through his mind. Had he not overheard Yeonjun invite you earlier that morning and then casually mention the encounter to Felix, there was no way he would have even stepped foot out of his house that night. Part of him was peeved, wishing he had never uttered a single word about you to his overbearing friend. Yet, deep down, there was hope within him—the tiniest sliver.

If there was even the slightest chance that he could talk to you that night, he would do anything. Even if it meant dealing with a stupid party, and the never-ceasing teasing he was bound to continue receiving from Felix.

“Don’t even say that,” He said, emphasizing each word as they walked up the front steps. Soobin had to glance down at his much shorter friend to see the devious grin on his freckled face.

“Say what? That she’s your girl, your woman, your one and only?”

The blush must have been creeping to his neck by that point. He could feel it. “I. . .” There were many things Soobin wished to say; angry words that would hopefully shut the blonde skater boy up real quick. But he couldn’t bring himself to say a single harsh word, so he sighed in defeat. “I can’t even say it.”

“That you hate me?” Felix only grinned even bigger, and Soobin couldn’t help the tiny defeated smile that slipped over his features. “Oh, I know. It’s because I’m too good of a best friend.”

They stepped into the house then, instantly being overwhelmed by loud music, boisterous laughter, and drunken yells echoing throughout the halls. Soobin latched onto Felix right away, gripping his friend’s sleeve as someone stumbled into him, a bit of beer spilling from their cup. He pushed his glasses up, only for them to slide right back down as he began to sweat.

“Maybe we should go home, Lix!” Soobin shouted to be heard over the noise as they travelled further into the house. “We can always try next year!”

“Stop being a scaredy-cat!” Felix shouted back, and Soobin thought he might actually begin to cry as they squeezed their way into the living room. Soobin nearly gagged at the strong smell of alcohol as it burned in his nose. The scene was nothing short of a nightmare to Soobin—loud voices, smoke rising in the air, vodka assaulting his nose and sweat beading on the back of his neck. He had never been one to drink, and he didn’t plan on starting that night; but he was beginning to understand what Felix meant when he had once told him it was nearly impossible to get through one of these parties sober.

He was about to make another complaint and beg to leave when someone from the crowd hollered his name, causing him to wince when he recognized that voice as the one that belonged to none other than Choi Yeonjun.

“Soobin! Where you been?”

Soobin smiled nervously at the school’s heartthrob—and textbook snobby rich kid—before he turned back to Felix. He didn’t want to leave his friend, but he knew that he would never hear the end of it if he ignored Yeonjun’s persistent calls. “I’ll be right back,” He promised Felix, still holding onto his sleeve.

“No, no,” Felix assured. “You go. You’ll probably find her around that place anyway.”

Soobin wasn’t so sure of that. You were definitely not of the right social standing to be caught amongst the circle of the school’s rich boys—which was why it had surprised Soobin that Yeonjun had invited you to the party in the first place. Your high school had its own caste system, and you were near the bottom of it.

And, as much as it pained him to admit it, Soobin was stuck at the very top with all the other rich snobs who cared about nothing more than their daily allowances that came straight from their daddy’s bank account.

“What about you, buddy?” He asked Felix, desperate for any excuse to remain by his friend’s side. He would have tried to bring Felix with him, but his friend was in an even worse social standing than you were—he was poor, and he was most known for being the school’s pothead. There was no way Soobin would willingly drag him into a situation where nothing but slander and torment awaited him.

“Me?” Felix shrugged, gripping his board tighter. “I’ll just smoke away the night.”

Soobin pouted, glancing back at the group of preps as they called for him once again. He sighed, clapping Felix on the shoulder. “Just make sure you won’t smell too much of it when I come back.”

Submitting himself to his doom then, he turned on his heel and slowly made his way to where the group of  boys sat near the sofa, giving them a half-hearted wave.

“Why were you hanging around that Felix guy?” Yeonjun asked once Soobin had reached their circle. “Did he blackmail you or something?”

Soobin frowned, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “He’s my friend.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, brushing a hand through his perfectly-straightened ebony locks. “Sure he is. Tell me, do you see every kid you find on the streets as some sort of personal charity project? Or is it just Felix and—what was her name—” He snapped his fingers then before he said, “Y/N, right?”

Soobin didn’t respond—well, it was more like he couldn’t respond. By nature he was a very passive being, but nothing drew him closer to bouts of anger than when the people he cared about were being insulted right before him.

Especially when it came to you.

Yet, as much as he wanted to tell Yeonjun off or give him a nice shove into the smoke-stained walls, words failed him. They always did. Perhaps this was why you had abandoned him all those years ago. Nobody knew him better than you did, so of course you were able to see what he truly was beneath all the expensive clothes and nervous laughter—a coward.

He figured that he’d probably have left himself too.

“Drink up, buttercup.” The chipper voice that belonged to the other Choi in the small gathering of socialites, Choi Beomgyu, thrust a plastic red cup towards Soobin’s chest. 

He shook his head, throwing another wavering smile in his direction. “No thanks. I don’t drink.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t. Why are you even here then?”

Once again, Soobin chose silence as his only response. He swallowed, patting the front pocket of his denim jacket. As the group of boys began conversing once more, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander around the room, searching every drunken face for the features that belonged to you, trying to hear your name in every conversation, desperate for your voice to break through the blasting music and shouting voices.

“Who ya looking for there, Big Choi?” Soobin grimaced at the nickname. He was skinny, but incredibly tall, and nobody would let him forget that. “Big Choi” was one of his most common nicknames among the elitists. He despised it, but of course, he would never voice that aloud.

He glanced at Beomgyu and smiled nervously again, shaking his head. “Nobody.”

His eyes met Yeonjun’s and he gulped yet again as the latter eyed him with suspicion. It wasn’t as though he had anything to hide, but something about Yeonjun’s calculating gaze made his skin crawl.

He needed to escape. Just for a moment, at least.

“I’ll be right back. Going to find some water.”

He slipped out of the living room then, apologizing profusely to each couple he accidentally bumped into, bowing in remorse to each person’s toes his big feet happened to stumble over. He ached to be by Felix’s side—the stoned skateboarder had become somewhat of a security blanket to the taller of the duo—but his blonde friend was nowhere to be seen.

After snagging a bottle of water from the kitchen, Soobin managed to slip into an empty bathroom. He slammed the door shut and wasted no time in locking it. Letting out the biggest sigh of relief, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, taking a big gulp of the ice cold water.

He set the bottle on the counter and carefully reached into the front pocket of his jacket, his fingers finding the piece of paper he had been storing there all evening. He pulled it out and let his eyes wander over his middle school creation. It was a big heart, cut out from a scrap piece of red construction paper. Scrawled across it in his eight-grade handwriting were the words, Be mine this Valentine’s! His name was etched at the bottom, and at the very top, delicately printed in hot pink glitter glue, your name was written as well.

He had planned to give this to you four years ago on Valentine’s day. Everything had been planned out perfectly; he was to pick you up on his old, trusty bike. It wasn’t really made for two people, but the two of you had fashioned a makeshift extra seat for you to sit upon whenever you went places together. 

He wanted to take you to the Dairy Shack, which was the local ice cream shop where the two of you spent the most time together. You always got a large chocolate shake to share, playing a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who got to eat the cherry on top. He was going to order a shake and specially ask for two cherries that time, and planned to give both of them to you before he would bravely present you with the handmade card he had spent all day working on.

However, when he waited for you outside your house that day, the red dusk turned to pitch black night, and you never stepped foot out your door.

He had even gone up to your door a few times and knocked, but there was no answer. Eventually he pedalled off into the night, back to his house. He was disappointed, of course, but more worried than anything else. He had hoped you weren’t sick.

But when he saw you at school the next day, he knew that hadn’t been the case.

And when you ignored him calling your name as you passed by him in the hallways, he knew that something had drastically changed.

For weeks, Soobin was in great turmoil as he replayed your last few encounters together before you had stood him up. Perhaps you were angry that he had won the last few games of rock, paper, scissors? If he had known, he would have given you all the cherries for the rest of time if it meant you would still talk to him. He didn’t care about them—he cared about you.

He missed you.

And as weeks turned to months, and months turned to years, you still barely spoke to him, and he missed you more and more. The best friend he had wanted to take a step closer to had taken a thousand steps back from him, and he still had no idea why.

But that night, he was determined to find out.

Well, if he could muster up the courage to get a single word out, of course.

He folded the heart back up and stuck it back in his pocket, taking a deep breath as he observed himself in the fogged-up mirror. He fixed his bright blue hair that Felix had helped him bleach and dye, making sure the pieces fell over the corners of his eyes just right. He straightened his white turtleneck and cuffed the sleeves of his denim jacket until he was at least somewhat content with his appearance.

“You can do this, Soobs,” He told himself, adjusting his big round glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “That’s what Felix would say.”

“Hey, rich boy!” A loud scream came from outside the bathroom door, accompanied by harsh knocking that sent Soobin stumbling backwards until he fell in the shower, pulling the curtains down with him.

“Hurry up in there! I’m about to piss myself!”

Soobin let out a shaky sigh, scrambling to his feet as he rushed to fix the curtain he had torn down with his clumsiness. “Sorry,” he mumbled, though he doubted the person on the other side of the door could hear him.

He realized then with an ever growing dread that it would be a miracle if he survived the night long enough to even find you, but it would take the work of God himself for him to actually speak to you.

He figured it was time for him to start praying.

- 

YOU KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO LET JEN DO YOUR MAKEUP.

When she had stopped you on your way out the door with a compact of bright purple eyeshadow, you had turned her down right away. No way in all of creation were you walking in a party with such an atrocious color caked up to your brow bone.

“How can you say it’s gonna look bad if you haven’t even let me try?” Jen had asked.

You had given her a once-over, your lips pressed into a thin line. “If it’s gonna look anything like the way you do your own makeup, I’m gonna have to pass.”

After that snide remark, she had threatened to fire you if you didn’t let her apply the makeup. And so you obliged, though you didn’t have much of a choice.

The booming sounds of the party hit your ears before you had even reached the lawn. Screaming teens—well, there were probably some adults thrown in there as well—and the sound of music spilled through the open windows of the home. Couples and singles alike were scattered throughout the perfectly kept lawn that was now littered with empty cups and other assortments of garbage.

You looked down at your patchwork jeans and pink sweater, certain that you would be underdressed compared to the rest of the partygoers. But from the looks of things, as you carefully squeezed your way through the front door and into the home, everyone was probably too wasted to even notice your arrival, let alone care about your looks.

You caught a glimpse of your face in the hallway mirror, cringing at the sight of your eyeshadow. You had tried to wipe some of it away before arriving, but it simply smudged, giving you quite the shocking smoky, purple eye look. For someone who didn’t even know the difference between a paintbrush and a makeup brush, it was a bold look, to say the least.

If Soobin saw you looking like this, he’d probably have a heart attack.

Soobin.

In the midst of all your frantic preparation, you had nearly forgotten about the main reason why you had planned to avoid this party at all costs. With a quick glance around the room, you realized that he was nowhere to be seen. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t shown up at all. He was never a fan of parties, anyway.

You crossed your arms over your chest and slowly slipped past the couples crowding the hallway with their limbs intertwined, mouths practically swallowing one another whole, until you reached the living room. Surprisingly, it was less crowded in here than you thought it might be. A few minglers were scattered about the room’s perimeter, but they all kept away from the center of the room, which was occupied by none other than Choi Yeonjun and all his brainless, rich-boy worshippers. You quickly scanned the group, not able to make out Soobin among them. When you realized he wasn’t there, you were partly relieved and partly disappointed. If was to be anywhere at this party, it would probably be with these guys.

With a quick turn on your heel, you planned to make your way out of the living room before Yeonjun could see you. The last thing you wanted was for the boy with a bruised ego to see you, regardless of whether or not he had been the one to invite you.

“Y/N? You came?”

Too late.

Plastering a forced grin to your face, you slowly turned to face Yeonjun, who had just called your name. He was eyeing you with slight surprise, but soon, a smirk slipped across his lips as he motioned for you to come over. You had to hold back your sigh, wishing there was some way for you to get out of this situation. It was all Jen’s fault that you had to show up in the first place. You decided you were going to demand an extra ten cents be added to your raise the next time you saw your pushy boss.

“Hey Yeonjun,” you said once you had walked over to him. “I figured I’d stop by for a minute or two, since you were kind enough to invite me.”

He smirked, glancing at a few of his friends. They shared a knowing laugh with one another, but the meaning of it was lost to you. You wanted nothing more than to get away from them, but that wasn’t an option.

“You’re too busy to go out with me to a basketball game but free enough to come to a party, huh?” He asked.

You blinked, digging your nails into your arms. “I’m sorry?”

“It’s fine, really,” He drawled, swirling his plastic cup of beer in his hand. “You didn’t think I’d be upset or anything did you? I only asked you out because I was dared to shack up with you. But I’m guessing you already knew that, since you’re so smart and all.”

Your eyes went wide, but you managed to control the rest of your expression. It was just like you had guessed—Yeonjun had invited you to the party with the sole purpose of making a scene.

If you survived the night, Jen was never going to hear the end of it.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” He asked, pushing himself to his feet. You could tell by the slight stumble in his step and his hooded eyes that he had quite a bit to drink. He took a step towards you, causing you to back up immediately. Your back hit the wall, and you placed your palms against it as Yeonjun towered over you. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know why you’re here anyways.” He leaned forward, his lips hovering near your ear. “You’re here to see Soobin, aren’t you? Since he’s the only one here willing to waste his time on filth like you.”

Your blood boiled, and you had to clench your fists at your sides to control your anger.

“Don’t,” You seethed, “Call me that.”

“Call you what? Filth? Or sweetheart? Why, is that something good old Binnie used to call you—”

He never got to finish that sentence, because with one big burst of anger, you stomped on his toe as hard as you could with your worn-out platform sneaker.

“What the hell!” He screeched, drawing the attention of several others in the room. His outburst even caused a few of the couples to pull away from each other’s faces long enough to eavesdrop.

Before you could even say anything back, lukewarm liquid was splashed up in your face, burning your eyes and nose. You gasped, running your hands over your eyes to see Yeonjun with his now empty cup of beer pointed towards you.

“Think twice before you act out against me next time, sweetheart. Never forget your place.”

Tears of anger burned in your eyes, and you scanned the room to see several people exchanging whispers and giggles as they glanced in your direction. You pushed past Yeonjun and quickly made your way out the back door of the house, unable to stand the humiliation for a moment longer.

Soobin arrived in the living room just in time to see you leave.

He wasted no time in rushing towards Yeonjun, grabbing hold of his arm. “Yeonjun, was that Y/N?” He asked, eyes quickly taking in the puddle of alcohol on the floor and the empty cup in Yeonjun’s hand. “What happened?”

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty blue head about, Big Choi. I just put her in her place is all.”

Soobin’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you ‘put her in her place?’”

Yeonjun laughed, giving Soobin a nonchalant pat on the back. “Just drop it, would you? It has nothing to do with you.”

“What did you say, Yeonjun?”

Yeonjun was growing irritated now. He huffed out a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “I said it has nothing to do with you, Soobin. I know you like to hang around people like that pothead Felix, but the rest of us live in the real world, where we’d rather not waste our time with those who have no future anyways. I bet he’s the one that got you to dye your hair that god awful blue, isn’t he?”

Soobin bit the inside of his cheek. He so badly wished to rip Yeonjun to shreds then and there. If he had Felix’s courage, the cocky bastard would have been knocked to the ground ages ago. But if there was one thing Soobin was sure he could never be, it was brave. And so, despite his rage, he remained silent, his eyes practically burning a hole through Yeonjun’s chest from how intently he was glaring.

It seemed as though Yeonjun was about to say something, but his eyes landed on the bit of red that peeked through the front pocket of Soobin’s denim jacket. Before Soobin had time to defend himself, Yeonjun had reached forward and snatched it from his pocket, revealing the large paper heart—his valentine for you.

“So this is why you care so much,” Yeonjun said, laughing as his eyes scanned the glittery words that decorated the page. “You want her to be your valentine.”

“Give that back,” Soobin said quietly, his hands beginning to shake.

Yeonjun instead lifted his eyes to Soobin, gave him a sickly sweet grin, and ripped the heart straight down the middle. He let the two pieces fall from his hands to the ground, and with them Soobin’s heart went also.

“You’re really willing to try and go against me, and for what? For the sake of a girl who can’t even afford a new pair of jeans and a boy that smokes his life away in the bathroom stalls?” Yeonjun took a slow step towards Soobin, his eyes glinting with a sinister determination. “You may be rich, Soobin, but if you choose to lower yourself to their standards, you may as well be dirt poor just like they are.”

With his hands clenched into tight fists, his glasses sliding down his nose, and his heart quite literally in two pieces on the floor below him, Soobin decided that he had had enough.

“I’d much rather be associated with people who are kind and have actual depth to their character than be lumped together with a bunch of pricks like you with no real personality—because that’s something you can’t buy with daddy’s paycheck.”

He had to physically restrain himself from slapping his hand across his own mouth in shock. It was as if the spirit of Felix himself had possessed him to say such harsh things. He wondered where Felix was then, wishing more than ever before to have his best friend by his side as he began to tremble from either the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his veins, or from fear. Or perhaps it was both.

He didn’t have time to ponder it any longer before Yeonjun’s fist collided with his nose, resulting in a sickening crack as pain echoed throughout his face in tidal waves.

He stumbled backward as people began to shout, raising his hand to his nose and gasping when he saw that his palm was covered in blood. 

Beomgyu had his arms wrapped around Yeonjun, who was desperately trying to lunge towards Soobin once again.

“Knock it off, Yeonjun!” Beomgyu shouted, pushing the elder back. “His dad is on the school board! Are you trying to get expelled?”

Beomgyu looked over his shoulder at the still stunned Soobin, who was gaping at the blood that now stained his once white turtleneck. 

“Get lost, Soobin,” Beomgyu said, to which Soobin only blinked in reply, his ears ringing.

“Now!”

Head spinning, Soobin picked up the two halves of his paper heart, stuffed them into his jeans, and stumbled out the same door he had seen you go through just minutes before. After checking to make sure his glasses were still intact—they were, thankfully—he shook his head in an effort to clear his mind of the static, eyes scanning the front lawn looking for any trace of you.

It didn’t take long for his eyes to spot you among the now dwindling crowd of partygoers. Your bright pink sweater stood out against the darkness, so he was able to recognize you even with your back towards him. He sniffed, wiping the back of his hand against his dripping nose as he slowly made his way to where you sat on the curb, your feet planted on the asphalt street. He wished that he looked a bit more presentable—when he played this scene out in his head over the years in which he would finally reunite with you, he never imagined himself dazed and covered in blood.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposed.

When he reached you, he simply stood beside you in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say. He could tell that you sensed his presence, but you refused to look up at him as you kept your face buried in your hands. He could have sworn he heard a few muffled sobs slip through your fingers, but of course, he wasn’t going to bring that up.

Eventually he decided to slip his jacket off of his shoulders, leaning down to drape it over you. You still kept your head down as he sat beside you on the curb, but he watched you grip the jacket and pull it tighter around your body. He smiled a bit, holding the collar of his turtleneck against his throbbing nose.

“Thank you,” you muttered, wiping your hand across your eyes. You finally looked over at him, and when you did, you couldn’t hold back your gasp. “My God Soobin, what happened to your face?”

“Oh, well, I might have gotten punched,” He said quickly, trying to wave off your concern. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Punched? By who?”

He looked down at the ground, sniffing as a drop of blood hit the pavement. “Yeonjun,” he muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry, did you just say Yeonjun? Are you insane? Why on earth would you butt heads with the Choi Yeonjun?”

Soobin didn’t say anything in response, he simply stared at you, eyes wide with beer dripping off the ends of your hair, makeup smeared across your face, your sweater stained down the front. It didn’t seem to take long for you to put the pieces together, as the shock left your face and was replaced with something akin to guilt.

“Oh,” You said, looking back down at your shoes.

“So she knows that I did it all for her,” Soobin thought.

For some reason, the idea of that both terrified and excited him.

A second later, he glanced over to see you ripping one of the hand-sewed patches of fabric off your jeans, leaving a square of your skin exposed to the chilly night air. You leaned towards him, pushing his hand away from his nose so you could use the patch to clean up some of the blood on and around his puffy red nose.

“Y/N, your pants!” He exclaimed, trying to push your hand away. “They’re ruined!”

“I’m not worried about my pants, you idiot,” You said, swatting his hand away as you continued to press the cloth against his skin. “You got punched in the face because of me, this is the least I could do.”

“That was my choice though,” He muttered, although he stopped trying to resist your touch. He ignored the way his heart thrummed harder in his chest, hoping that you couldn’t hear.

“Well, this is my choice too.” Your eyes flicked to his for a brief moment, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. “Why did you do it, by the way?”

“Do what?”

“Stand up to Yeonjun for me and get a nasty nosebleed as a result.”

“Oh.” He blinked slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on yours. “Just ‘cause.”

“Because . . . ?”

“Because of you.” He blurted, causing your hand to go still against him. He swallowed his fear, braving the best smile that he could. “Just you. That was my only reason.”

You didn’t say anything as your hand fell from his face, the cloth clutched between your fingers. The anxiety he had tried his best to suppress came rushing up all at once, and he was surprised that his ears didn’t begin to squeal like a tea kettle from all the pressure. 

“Y/N,” He said, gently placing his hand over yours despite how his fingers trembled. “Why did you pull away from me?”

“What?”

“Four years ago. Why did you stop talking to me?”

You were quiet for a moment, digging into the ground with the toe of your sneaker. Soobin held his breath until you finally replied with, “I was afraid.”

“Afraid? Of what?”

“We were getting older, Binnie,” You said, and his heart skipped at the use of your old nickname for him. “You and I, we’re from very different walks of life. You get to hang out with people like Yeonjun, whereas I get a cup of beer poured all over my face just for existing, and you get a fist to the nose for trying to stand up for me. We’re from different sides of the track, one might say.”

“So?” Soobin asked, his hand tightening around yours. “Did you really think that would affect us that much, Y/N?”

You frowned, glancing down at his hand over yours.

“I thought you’d be embarrassed of me,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Embarrassed?” Soobin’s eyes went wide as he gripped your hand tighter still, pulling it into his lap. “Y/N, I would never, ever be embarrassed of you. Besides, have you seen my best friend? He’s on a first name basis with the principal because of how often he gets written up for smoking behind the school. If I’m not embarrassed of him, why would I ever be embarrassed of you?”

You laughed, wiping the back of your hand across your eyes once more. “I guess I was worried about nothing, huh?” You sniffed, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Soobin.”

He shook his head, squeezing your hand right back. “Don’t apologize. You’re here now, that’s what matters. Do think we could—you know—”

“Pick up where we left off?” You smiled, nodding vigorously. “I’d like that very much, Binnie.”

He beamed then, almost pinching himself to be sure that he was not dreaming, but the pain in his nose was real enough to remind him of that on its own. He jumped to his feet, pulling you right up with him.

“In that case, how about we finally go on that Valentine’s date I had planned all the way back then?”

“Date?” You asked, a brow raised. “Is it really considered a date if two friends are just hanging out?”

He didn’t respond as he pulled you along behind him towards the bushes where he and Felix had hidden his bike. He crouched down and moved the branches aside, feeling his heart drop to his stomach when he realized that his bike was, in fact, no longer there.

He shot up, turning to face you with eyes wide. “Felix—that bastard took my bike!”

You were quiet for a moment, but then, you burst into boisterous laughter, leaving Soobin utterly confused.

“It’s not funny, Y/N!” He whined, shoving your shoulder lightly. “I was supposed to take you to the Dairy Shack on my bike!”

“It is funny,” You said between bursts of laughter. “Only you would get such a rusty old piece of metal stolen from you.”

He pushed his lips out in a pout, sliding his glasses up his sore nose. “It’s a good bike, don’t make fun of it.”

You grinned, interlocking his fingers with yours, which was enough to instantly wipe the pout right off his face. 

“Let’s just walk, Binnie. The Dairy Shack isn’t that far anyways.”

You were right; the walk to your favorite milkshake place was very close to the house where the party had occurred. Although Felix stealing his bike had thrown an obvious wrench in his plans, it was a minor hiccup, and one he could most definitely handle. Besides, he wouldn’t have to see Felix until the next day anyways. He could deal with his frustration then.

At least, that’s what he thought anyways, until the two of you spotted Felix at the skatepark on your way to the dairy shack.

Soobin’s eyes took in the deplorable sight before him—from where he stood on the dimly lit sidewalk, he could see Felix and a girl he had never seen before, their faces nearly pressed together, and most importantly, with his bike discarded a few yards away from them.

“Soobin,” You said, tugging on his arm. “They look like they’re busy, let’s just go—”

But Soobin, who had little patience when it came to Felix messing up his plans, didn’t let you finish before he screamed, “Give me back my freaking bike!”

You had to hold back your snort of laughter at his choice of words. Even when he was trying to sound angry, he was undeniably adorable.

Soobin watched as Felix startled, clutching his spliff between his fingers as he glared daggers back at his friend. Soobin gulped, trying not to let his fear show on his face. What did he have to be afraid of, anyways? He was the victim of thievery, and his best friend was the offender.

Felix took a big step towards him, but he paused, his eyes landing on your interlocked hands. Soobin glanced down as well, his face growing furiously warm as he realized the situation he had gotten himself into. 

He decided to divert the subject before it could even be brought up by saying, “I can’t believe you stole my bike! All this time I was trying to hide it from strangers, but you, my best friend! I should’ve been hiding it from you!”

Soobin noticed Felix’s female companion step off the skateboard and walk over in his direction, and for a second he felt bad for possibly ruining her night with his best friend. However, his frustration was more prominent in the moment as he fixed his gaze back on his best friend, who had fixed a mischievous smirk upon his face that made warning sirens blare in Soobin’s head right away.

“Now, now, buddy,” Felix said, his voice calm and carefree as ever. It probably had something to do with what he had just smoked, but Soobin didn’t care all that much. “You’re just gonna have to let me borrow it for a little longer.”

Soobin nearly laughed at the audacity of such a statement. “You are gonna give me the bike, or—”

“How about this, Soobs?” Soobin’s lips clamped shut at his friend’s interruption, as the thief in question gestured with his joint to where Soobin’s fingers were locked with yours. “You let me keep your bike for the night, and I don’t tell your dad about you hanging out with the opposite gender.”

Unable to control yourself, you let out a big laugh. Soobin would have felt betrayed, but he was more terrified than anything else at the idea of his father finding out that he was taking a girl out without his permission. He would be grounded for weeks—no, months.

“You wouldn’t.”

Felix’s lips curled up even more into a twisted grin that Soobin wished he had the guts to slap off his face. “God, just imagine the look on Mr. Choi’s face. Imagine him finding out about your premarital hand holding.”

No. Not the hand holding.

Soobin almost felt faint, but he steeled himself to the best of his abilities as he cleared his throat. “One night, Lix,” he warned. “If I don’t see it on my porch in the morning, you’ll be sorry!”

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Felix teased. His expression changed a moment later though, when he finally noticed Soobin’s swollen nose and blood-stained turtleneck. “Wait, Soobs, the hell happened to you?”

Soobin, however, had already taken his first steps away from the skatepark, pulling you along behind him. “I’ll tell you later, bud. Enjoy your spliff with that kind girl who you probably don’t deserve!”

“Hey!”

Soobin couldn’t help but laugh as he swung your interlocked hands together, grinning as you let out a laugh as well. The anger that had seeped through him seemed to melt away in an instant as the two of you continued your journey to the Dairy Shack.

“Would your dad really be that upset if he found out about this?” You asked.

Soobin grimaced. “We should probably wait til next year to tell him about this outing. Or maybe the year after that.”

When the two of you had finally reached the Dairy Shack, you waited outside for him while he went in to order your drink. A large chocolate milkshake, with two straws, just like you used to get every time before.

When he had the drink in hand, he walked back outside and sat down beside you on the curb, smiling as you wrapped his jacket tighter around your shoulders. You smiled back up at him, your eyes creasing from the expression. Your smile had always struck him right to his core; he had missed seeing it every day.

He hoped he could see it every morning and every night from that day onward. There was no way he would let you go this time.

He just had to muster up the courage to grab hold of you first.

“You know what, Binnie, you turned out to be a lot taller than I thought you ever would be,” you said as you took one of the straws from his hands. “You’re actually enormous. It’s shocking.”

“Should I find that offensive? It sounds kinda like an insult.”

“Take it however you will,” You teased, leaning over as he popped the plastic lid off the milkshake. He grabbed the cherry by the stem and held it towards you.

“What are you doing?” You asked, holding out your fist. “We have to rock, paper, scissors for it. Remember?”

Soobin laughed as he shook his head. “I’m giving it to you this time. It’s what I planned to do all those years ago, when I asked you to hang out on Valentine’s.”

You seemed to be taken aback, but you simply shrugged as you plucked the cherry from his hand and pulled it from the stem with your teeth, glancing back over at him. It was silent for a moment, but then your eyes landed on the pocket of his jeans, where you could see a bit of red paper poking out. You leaned over even further, reaching your hand out to snatch the paper.

“What are you—hey! Give that back!”

Soobin desperately tried to take his Valentine back from you, but it was too late. You held both halves of what used to be a whole in your hands, your eyes scanning the words as you pieced them together.

“Soobin . . .”

He held his breath. Had his act of young love left you completely speechless? Were you so touched that you would burst into tears?

“This looks like a middle schooler made it.”

He let out the breath in the form of a long, long sigh.

“That’s because it was made by a middle schooler,” He said as he set the milkshake down beside him. “I made it back in the eighth grade. I planned to give it to you that Valentine’s.”

“Oh.” You ran your finger along the card’s surface, the smallest smile creeping across your lips. “Well in that case, it’s not half bad. Why’s it ripped though?”

“Ah—well, Yeonjun . . .”

You nodded, taking another glance at his swollen nose. “No need to elaborate. It seems you had a lot planned for our Valentine’s Day back then. Is there anything else you wanted to do?”

His mouth went dry at that, and he wished that you couldn’t see his face because he was sure that his expression was quite comical. All the way back then, four years prior, he had in fact planned the perfect, ideal day in his head. Picking you up on his bike, giving you the cherry from his milkshake, and presenting you with his hand made card.

There was only one thing left on his list.

He didn’t move at first, willing himself to have enough courage to even look back in your direction. But when he finally did allow his eyes to meet yours, he felt his shoulders relax and his heart rate became more manageable.

He took a deep breath, leaned forward, and pressed his lips against your cheek.

He lingered there for only a moment before he pulled back, daring to pry one of his eyes open to take in the look on your face.

The disappointment was palpable—from the way your brows furrowed together and the way you pursed your lips. His stomach dropped, and he scooted the tiniest bit away from you.

“I’m sorry,” He blurt out, his face growing warmer by the second. “I shouldn’t have done that, I just—”

“Is that all?”

Your question stopped him mid-ramble, his eyes growing wide. “Huh?”

“Is that all?” You repeated, closing the distance between you that he had created. “It’s Valentine’s Day, Soobin. I think we can do better than a peck on the cheek.”

The implications of what you were saying didn’t register with him right away, but when it finally did, he could have sworn his heart began to beat loud enough for the entire town to hear. His hand curled into a fist as he gripped the denim of his jeans. He leaned forward, keeping his eyes open just enough to watch you as he brought his lips closer to yours. He could feel your eyes on him all the while, causing his heart to pound fiercer still within him.

When he was just a breath away, he whispered, “Can you close your eyes?”

“Hm?”

He lifted his hand, gently placing it over your eyes. He leaned closer then, filling the space between you both as his lips met yours. You tasted vaguely of cherry and strawberry slice soda, and he found it quite nice the way his lips seemed to fit perfectly against your own. As the seconds drew on, your hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer. He slowly let his hand fall from your eyes, tracing lines with the tips of his fingers down your cheek before he cradled your jaw, letting his lips part just enough to taste the sweet sugar on your lips once more.

He thought in a haze that it was a good thing he didn’t drink anything at the party, as kissing you was proving to be intoxicating enough on its own.

When you finally pulled away, leaving your forehead resting against his, he let his eyes flutter open enough to see the euphoric smile that adorned your features. He grinned as well, gently running his thumb against your cheek.

“I think that back then, I had planned to ask you this before kissing you,” He whispered, “But Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”

Instead of a spoken answer, you laughed, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours once again, and that was the only answer Choi Soobin would ever need.

-

WHEN SOOBIN ARRIVED HOME THAT NIGHT, HE WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE TELEPHONE.

It was kept upstairs at night right outside his parent’s door, to keep himself and his brother from using it in the late hours. Of course, this never stopped Soobin from sneaking it downstairs to his room in the basement to make late night calls to Felix.

And that particular evening, he really needed to give Felix an update.

He grabbed the phone from the small table in the hallway, carefully tiptoeing towards the basement stairs. Before he had even taken the first step down, the bathroom door creaked open. Soobin whipped his head around to see his brother Kai standing there, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he raised a brow at his older brother.

Soobin froze, blinking slowly as he realized the incriminating situation he found himself in.

“Please don’t tell mom,” He whispered, his eyes pleading with his younger brother.

Kai nodded, although Soobin wasn’t quite convinced that the boy was even coherent enough to understand what was going on. Soobin offered a rushed thank you, and ventured his first step down the stairs.

Well, he tried, anyways, and ended up missing the first step. He tumbled down the rest of the stairs, landing on his butt at the very end.

He winced in pain, glad to see that the phone was still intact in his hands. He glanced over his shoulders to see Kai staring down the stairway with wide eyes, his lips parted in shock. Soobin quickly put a finger to his lips, begging his brother for silence.

Kai simply shook his head and walked away, allowing Soobin the freedom to breathe out a sigh of relief.

He quickly ran to his bedroom and shut the door, collapsing onto his bed with the phone as his breaths came in ragged gasps as an aftereffect from his tumble down the stairs. He figured he should have dialed Felix’s number right away, but he couldn’t help but brush his fingers against his lips, remembering the feeling and taste of having yours pressed against them.

He was so caught up in his daze that he didn’t notice Felix calling until the third ring.

He picked it up, breathing heavily into the speaker as he rubbed a sore spot on his lower back. 

“Please tell me that panting is from running a marathon, and not what I think you’ve successfully tried.”

Soobin nearly gagged, holding the phone away from his face as he coughed, flustered by his friend's crude words. He brought the phone back to his face and said, “No, you sicko, I just fell down the stairs.”

“How the hell did you manage that with those long legs?”

“That’s not important, Lix!” He laid back onto his pillows then, twirling the phone cord in his hands as he stared up at his ceiling, the memories of his adventure with you that night flooding his mind once more. He couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear as he said, “Look, I need to tell you something important.”

If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought that he could hear the smile in Felix’s voice too as his friend replied.

“Well buddy, I got something to tell you too.”

[viastro]

prove it | chwe vernon hansol

ミ★ synopsis: in which the university fuckboy does whatever it takes to prove that he genuinely has feelings for you.

ミ★ genre: slice of life!au, player!vernon, humor, fluff

ミ★ warnings: none!

ミ★ word count: 3,603

ミ★ pairings: vernon x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! this oneshot ended up a lot longer than i originally planned. however, this always happens when i write oneshots so this isn’t anything new. i chose this gif because vernon’s blonde hair makes me cry a lil and i couldn’t find any other blonde vernon gifs that match the vibe of this whole oneshot uh help me :DD oh ! i also hope you enjoy the mini cameo from my characters in cafe chuu hehe !! anyways... make sure to give vernon lots of love !! 

You know those guys that are real sleazy? Like, the ones that know they’re able to get whatever girl they want and truly use it to their advantage? So they absolutely just… never settle?

that’s vernon.

You don’t judge, but that’s also a lie because you absolutely do judge since your poor best friend was a victim of his sleaziness. Can you blame her? No, the man is godly. Do you blame Vernon? 

yes! 

While Chaewon never told you the full story, all you needed to know is that she was hurt. Which is enough reason to despise the man, no matter how attractive he is.

You purse your lips in disgust as you watch Vernon walk into class late, silently cursing him when he says hi to his friend on the way to his desk. Chaewon stares at you with a bored look on her face, wondering why you’re so angry about the man when you claim you don’t care about him. She pokes your shoulder, and you turn to her with a big smile, a stark contrast to the previous glare on your face.

“Just say you love him and go baby.” Chaewon tells you, and you immediately pretend to vomit in your bag. She rolls her eyes, shoving you lightly with her hand as she giggles at your antics. “As if I could ever like a sleazy, gross, beautiful ass man like him.” 

Chaewon raises an eyebrow at the last adjective, and you choose to ignore the fact that you called him beautiful, as well as the heat rushing to your face. She lets out a sigh, turning towards the front of the room when your professor begins roll call. 

“We can all see you have a heart boner for him.” Chaewon mutters, and you have half the mind to reach out and slap her shoulder, only to stop when your teacher calls your name. 

“YLN YN?” You raise your hand up, flashing them a smile. 

“Here.” Your teacher nods, before carrying on with the list, and you lean back into your seat. You open your notebook to prepare your notes page, only to pause when you feel a pair of eyes on you. You slowly glance up from your desk to see Vernon staring at you with an amused smile on his face. 

Immediately you turn your eyes away and look at your journal, feeling warmth blossom across your cheeks at the fact that he’s still staring at you. Do you know why? No. Do you want to know why? yes. No!

Chaewon glances at Vernon, making eye contact with him. She points towards you as you focus your attention on your journal, and he shrugs at her. She tilts her head to the side, and he mouths,

“I’m going to ask yn out today!” 

To which Chaewon grins, shaking her head at him and turning to face the front of the room. She chuckles quietly to herself, knowing that it’s not going to be as easy as he believes it’ll be. While Vernon smiles, thinking of the different ways you’ll probably say yes.

“No.” You answer boredly as you walk towards the bus stop, Vernon following close behind you. You don’t bother to spare the handsome man a glance, and Vernon runs in front of you, raising both his hands up to stop you from walking. You let out a sigh, crossing your arms as you stare at him.

“When you said no, you were joking… right?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and Vernon feels his heart sink to his ass when he realizes you actually mean no. Something he hasn’t heard from anyone he’s asked out before. 

“I meant no. I don’t want to go out with you Vernon.” You tell him and he runs a hand through his blonde hair in confusion. Ignoring the fast pace of your heart, you flash him a smile, to which his eyes slightly widen at the sight. You fail to notice the tips of his ears turning red at the sight, and you let out a breath. 

“You’re the fuckboy of the University. I don’t wanna date you just for me to get hurt when you get bored.” You explain and Vernon lets out a scoff at the term you used. “Fuckboy?” 

“Yes. A fuckboy. A sleazy,” You step forward and poke his chest, causing him to suck in a breath at the close proximity between the two of you. “horny, promiscuous, fuckboy.” 

Vernon gapes at you, and you grin at the sight of him being speechless. You lean back, raising your hand up to wave at him. 

“Bye Vernon!” You say cheerfully, before stepping past him and walking towards the bus stop once again. Vernon turns around, watching your retreating figure as the sun begins to set. 

“I’m not gonna stop trying!” Vernon shouts from behind you, but you refuse to turn back. You know it’s all for show, he never actually puts in much of an effort on the rare occasion that a girl rejects him. Vernon lets out an amused smile, before turning around and walking back towards the parking lot. 

“What do you mean you and Vernon were never a thing? You guys hung out a lot last year outside of classes, and you even cried over him.” You tell Chaewon with wide eyes. She chuckles in response, shaking her head at you. 

“Yn, Vernon’s my cousin. We lived together for our first year of uni last year because we wanted to save money, that’s why we were always together after classes finished. I cried during class last year because I read his text telling me the news about his dog passing.” You raise a hand to your mouth in shock at the surprise your best friend just dropped. You don’t even know how you didn’t have any idea of this, because the more you look at her, the resemblance between the two begins to show.

“I-I thought you were dating your cousin?” 

“You absolutely did.” 

“So Vernon’s never hurt you?”

“Only when we played nerf when we were younger.” 

“So he’s not a fuckboy who hurt my best friend?”

Chaewon giggles, reaching her hand up and patting your head softly. She shakes her head, “He’s not a fuckboy who hurt me. He’s just a guy who happens to like a lot of girls but can never find the one to settle down with. AKA, a fuckboy.”

You glance down at your rice, picking up the spoon and shoving a chunk of rice into your mouth as you stress eat. Chaewon watches you with amusement, knowing that Vernon asked you on a date yesterday, to which you confidently told him no. However, you didn’t mention any of that to Chaewon, but Vernon told her the whole story.

“She said no?”

“She said no!” Vernon responds as he looks at Chaewon with betrayal and confusion stirring around in his eyes. She purses her lips, leaning back into her couch as she waits for the rice to be fully cooked. 

“I expected that.”

“How come she doesn’t like me? Usually all the girls I ask out say yes…” Chaewon rolls her eyes, reaching forward and smacking Vernon on the back of the head. He lets out a hiss of pain, rubbing the back of his head as Chaewon stares at him with a bored expression.

“If you didn’t build that type of reputation, then yn would’ve said yes. You honestly brought this whole rejection upon yourself.” You explain and Vernon lets out a whine, resting his head into his hands. 

“I told her I was going to keep trying.”

“You WHAT?!” Chaewon shouts, standing up from the couch and staring at her cousin with a flabbergasted expression on her face. Vernon slowly raises his head, giving her a nervous smile.

“I like yn a lot. I’ve always thought that she was really cute, smart, and kind, but after hearing you talk about her so much I started to like her even more. That’s why I asked her out on a date.” Vernon mutters, and Chaewon sighs. She sits back down beside Vernon, and rubs the back of her head. 

“God. Help me.”

“I’ve never experienced such a fat whiplash until this very moment.” You mumble to yourself, snapping Chaewon out of her memory. Chaewon lets out a giggle at your comment, and you glance at your best friend. Smiling at the sight of her shaking her head at your obliviousness. 

“At least I know you’re loyal.” Chaewon tells you, and you laugh, nodding your head as you give her a thumbs up. “Besties before stinkies.” 

“Nice one.”

“Order for Changmin!” You announce as you place the macchiato onto the counter. The cute boy comes up and takes his drink, giving you a grateful smile. You nod your head at him before turning back to head to register. 

“Hi! Welcome to Cafe Chuu. How can I help you-” You glance up, words dying in your throat as you lock eyes with Vernon, who happens to have a mischievous smile on his face. You feel heat rushing to your cheeks as he quirks his head to the side at your silence, and you immediately break eye contact. 

“Hi yn.”

“What are you doing here?” You ask through your fake smile, and he chuckles at how cute you are. 

“Just wanted to order coffee from my favorite girl.” Vernon states with full confidence, causing you to squint your eyes at him. To which it does not give the desired effect, for he just warmly smiles at you in response. “How’d you know I work here?”

“Chaewon.”

You grin at him, “Of course!” that traitor.

It’s been two weeks since Vernon asked you out on a date, and he’s continued to ask you that same question every single day since then. Whether it be during your break in between courses, when you’re eating lunch with Chaewon, or when you’re walking towards the bus stop. He’s asked you each and every day, but he would nod his head respectfully and leave right after you’d reject him. Letting you know that he’d try again tomorrow. It’s currently the weekend, and he hasn’t been able to ask you out while you’re at work because he doesn’t know what you do for a living.

so why is he at your workplace right now?!?!?!

“What would you like to order, Vernon?” You ask, and you feel your knees buckle at the small pout he lets out when he glances up to check the board. However, you are a strong. independent, woman who will NOT fall for a playe-

“I’ll have a mocha and a date with you please.” Vernon requests with a smile on his face, and you squeeze the counter until your knuckles turn white. You decide to ignore the last part, instead typing in his order into the computer as your other hand aggressively squeezes the counter. 

“That’ll be-”

“Did you hear what I asked for?” Vernon asks, and you glance up to see him watching you expectantly. You let out a smile, leaning forward onto the counter so that your faces are much closer. 

And this time, you do catch the tips of his ears turning red.

“You asked for a mocha,” You state, pausing as you rip the receipt off the printer. You stretch your hand out towards Vernon with a smile, “Which will be ready in five minutes.”

Vernon slowly takes the receipt from you, finding himself entranced by the sparkles in your eyes having increased tenfold when you smiled at him. You gesture for the next customer to come forward, causing Vernon to have to step to the side to wait for his order. 

He lets out a small laugh, shaking his head as he looks up at you. You catch his eye, feeling a burst of excitement flow through you at the small game of chase going on between the two of you. You won’t lie, it’s entertaining to have the university’s player try so hard to get you to be his. Something you haven’t seen him do before.

which makes you think he’s actually serious.

but alas…

Chan taps your shoulder, telling you to go work on the drinks and you give him a grateful smile. You nod your head, walking over to begin working on the next order, only to find out Vernon’s hasn’t been made yet. You let out a small sigh, before walking over to the coffee. 

Vernon waits by a table, watching with a dopey smile as you prepare his drink. He thinks of different ways to ask you out next, wondering whether or not he should ask Chaewon for help. However, there’s a small part of him that thinks you won’t ever say yes.

but he wants you to know that he’s serious about you.

You place the lid on top of the cup before walking up to the counter. You call out his number, and Vernon looks up and locks eyes with you. Feeling your heart stutter as a smile graces his features as he walks over to you. 

“What do you say about that date?” Vernon asks, brushing his hand against yours when he takes the paper cup from you. You chuckle at him before pursing your lips, thinking of what to say to him. He watches with hopeful eyes, as this is the first time you’ve ever pondered the question he’s asked you. 

let’s see if he’s actually serious, You think to yourself. 

So you smile at the handsome man, “Prove it.” 

Vernon tilts his head to the side, and you hold back your giggle at the confused expression on his face. “Prove it?” 

You nod your head, biting your bottom lip to control your smile from widening. Vernon’s eyes glance down at the action, and he squeezes the cup a bit too tight. 

“Prove that you actually like me. That you’re serious about wanting to date me. Then we’ll see if I’ll give you a chance, because I’m not going to get my heart broken due to your commitment issues.” 

Vernon stares at you with an indecipherable expression on his face, and you think that this is it. This is when he’ll decide that you’re not worth the chase. That he can find someone easier. However, he surprises you when he flashes you an excited grin, a competitive glint to his eyes. 

“You got it baby.” Vernon tells you with full confidence, taking a sip of the mocha before turning around and walking out of the cafe. You let out a breath, raising your hands up to your cheeks as warmth floods through your face. Chan and Soonyoung glance over at you, chuckling at the shock on your face. 

“Yn’s got a boyfriend!” Yeri sings from the sink, and you shoot her a glare. You wave your hands at the three to try and get them to look away, causing them to laugh as you turn away from them to hide your smile. 

“How cute.” Soonyoung says beside you, and you nudge him with your elbow. 

“Shut up!” 

“What’d he get you this time?” Chaewon asks as she sits down beside you in the cafeteria. You point at the unopened boba beside your lunch, and she giggles. She mentally prepares a note to herself to tell Vernon good job on getting yn the right flavor!

“When are you gonna say yes to the poor guy? He’s been bringing you your favorite snacks for the past week of classes. He won’t stop texting me either, getting annoying.” Chaewon tells you, and you smile softly at the fact that he’s actually trying. 

Vernon hasn’t attempted to ask you out on a date since the day he visited you at work. Instead, he’s just been stopping by during your blocks between classes and when you’re at work to bring you your favorite snacks. So far he’s brought you shrimp chips, donuts with rainbow sprinkles on them, hot chocolate, and now boba. If you’re free, then he makes sure to talk to you so that the two of you can get to know one another more. If you’re busy, then he just leaves your snack close to you. However, whether or not you’re free, he’s always attached handwritten notes to each snack, just saying he hopes you have a good day, or that he hopes the snacks bring a smile to your face. 

it’s fucking precious.

“But what if he’s just joking?” You ask Chaewon, the tiny bit of insecurity peeking through. She gives you a comforting smile, reaching her arms around you and giving you a hug. You pout against her shoulder, and she pats your head.

“He’s never been this hung up over a girl before. The way he talks about you? His eyes literally light up. Vernon’s always been afraid of commitment, but he wants to try with you. Everyone on campus thinks he’s serious too, considering he hasn’t been seen with any other girl since he decided he wanted you to be his girlfriend.” Chaewon explains, and you feel warmth rise up your neck at the honesty of her words. You raise your hands to your face, cupping your cheeks and she lets out a coo at how cute you are. She’s about to squeeze your face when you both get interrupted by a familiar voice. 

“Am I interrupting?”

“Vernon?” You ask, immediately dropping your hands from your face. You turn to glance at him, and he gives you a shy smile. Chaewon lets out a little giggle, standing up from her seat to walk to the bathrooms to give the two of you some space. 

“Can I sit here?” Vernon asks you, and you nod your head, gesturing to the empty seat in front of you. He smiles, sitting down and taking a look at your unopened boba. You watch as his eyebrows slightly furrow, and you let out an, ah, and take the straw, giving him a grin.

“I was just about to open it.” You reassure him, and Vernon lets out a breath of relief. He watches you shove the straw into the plastic seal on top, taking a large sip of the milk tea. He smiles when he sees your features light up when the taste hits you. 

“Thank you, it’s my favorite flavor.” Vernon feels his heart go crazy at the realization that this is the first time you’ve actually engaged in conversation with him rather than it being one-sided. He nods his head, “I’m so glad I chose the right one.” 

You smile softly, before glancing back down at your lunch. You take a spoonful of rice and place it into your mouth, avidly trying to distract yourself from internally imploding by Vernon’s presence. While he watches you eat quietly, feeling full now that he’s seeing you eat well. 

You swallow your rice, staying still for a moment as you think of how to phrase what you want to say next. You can be blunt and simply just ask him, or you can slowly go into the topic.

i’ll slowly go into the topic.

“Do you actually like me?” You ask out of the blue, and Vernon’s eyes widen slightly at how straightforward you are.

that was not going into it slowly you stupid bitch.

Vernon nods his head earnestly, and you feel heat rush to your cheeks when he gives you a smile. “I do. I really do.” 

You purse your lips and nod your head, trying to act cool even though you’re internally screaming at the moment. Vernon feels his heart warm, trying to hold back from cooing at how cute you are. He tilts his head to the side, “Do you believe that I genuinely like you?”

You stare at Vernon in silence for a moment, recalling everything he’s done to try and prove himself. How he’s persisted in trying to get you to go on a date with him for the past three weeks. You let out a smile, nodding your head at him.

“Yeah, I do.” You respond, and Vernon stares at you in shock, before his features finally morph into a smile. He bites his bottom lip, nodding his head as he looks up at the ceiling. You giggle as he stands up from the table, taking notice of his very red ears. 

“I’ll call you later so we can talk about our date, okay? You still have the note I gave you with my number on it, right?” You nod your head, and Vernon smiles at the fact that you actually kept the notes he gave you. He raises his hand up and waves at you, and you wave back, giggling at his timidness. 

You watch as Vernon turns around and walks away, letting out a laugh when he raises his hands up and lets out a loud cheer. Which causes everyone in the cafeteria to turn their heads to glance at him, but he doesn’t seem to care. 

“SHE SAID YES!!!”

Chaewon walks back over to you, knowing grin on her face as she watches her cousin throw his arms up in the air one more time before he walks out of the cafeteria. She sits down beside you, taking notice of the bright smile on your face. 

“I take it that you have a date this weekend?” Chaewon begins, and you let out a soft sigh, smile not leaving your features as you nod your head.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

[please-buckme]

A Broken Heart.

Lee Bodecker x fem!reader

Chapter 3

Chapter warnings: cursing, drinking, 18+, very slight mentions of sex

Chapter summary: Just how okay are you, Sheriff?

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

Lee knew the second he went home that night he’d regret it. He stayed late at the station just to avoid his wife and her snarled, red hot face that she always wore before having her daily yelling match with him.

His brakes screeched as he pulled into the dusty driveway. He shut the door as lightly as possible, hoping Laura-Jean was asleep and he wouldn’t have to deal with her mouth. He turned his keys ever so slight, unlocking the front door to his home and cracked it just enough to walk in, only to see Laura-Jean waiting for him. She had a cigarette in one hand and a crystal glass with just a splash of whiskey left inside.

Lee sighed, “So, you found my whiskey.” He threw his keys in the ball that sat on the coffee table. Then, he removed his hat and jacket, hanging them on the coat rack. “How was your day-“

“Cut the crap, Lee” she hissed, slamming the glass on the coffee table. “You know I heard about it. About you seein’ that girl.”

“When did she become ‘that girl’. You was best friends once upon a time. When did y’all stop being friends?” Lee asked rhetorically, pretending to think on it for a second, “oh, that’s right. When you masterminded your way into my life and left her with nothing and nobody.”

“Oh no, baby. We weren’t friends the second you two started datin’. She just didn’t know it, yet. And it was you who left her heart broken and alone. I wanted you and you wanted power. We’re a fuckin match made in HELL, BABY!”

“CHOOSIN’ YOU OVER HER WAS THE WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE!” Lee shouted. “We’re both SO GODDAMN HAPPY, NOW, ain’t we.” He huffed, feeling his heartache when he thought about y/n being alone all this time and not being able to be there for her.

“You made your bed, Lee. Know one forced you to do anything.” Laura-Jean took a drag from her cigarette and wiped away the same tears that fell every night.

Lee loved Y/n more than he ever loved anyone in his entire life, but at the time he thought he loved his job more. When he heard she’d skipped town he was devastated. Devastated that she left, of course, but more devastated that he’d created a situation to where she felt she had to leave. Lee hid his feelings well in public but behind closed doors he was a complete mess without her.

When he heard she was back in town, he wasted no time in going over to see her. He wanted her to open the door and greet him like nothing had ever happened. He wanted her to leap into his arms and kiss him so softly, so tenderly like she used too. Things definitely didn’t go as planned.. either time he’d seen her.

The problem was, Lee had worked so hard to get where he was and to give it all away for Y/n? He just wasn’t sure he was ready for that. He loved her with every inch of his crooked heart. He knew deep down that she’s the only one for him and not even Laura-Jean could take that away.

Laura-Jean dubbed out her cigarette before coming face-to-face with Lee, “I don’t wanna hear about you talkin to that girl again. Am I clear?” She snarled that ugly snarl he’d grown to hate.

“Trust me, I’m sure she doesn’t wanna talk to me anyhow.” He sighed and picked up the crystal glass to finish off what remained of the liquor inside.

//

“It’s going to be okay, Mrs. Huckleberry. I’ll head home right now and call the station. Those scoundrels won’t get away with this.” You grinned, walking your elderly neighbor up to her front door before heading back home.

Nothing says welcome home like a smashed in mailbox. At least nine of your neighbors, including you, got their mailboxes bashed. You weren’t too torn up over it; it probably needed replacing anyways. To seem more neighborly,though, than your momma ever was at least, you decided you’d make the call to the police station for all the mailbox victims.

To no avail, the line was busy, probably more than just your neighborhood that got hit. So, you decided to go to the station before work. You’d make a quick statement and get out of there as quickly as possible to avoid any more contact with Lee.

It only took you 20 minutes to walk to the stations from your house. You looked nice considering you’d be heading to work right after this. You wore a fitting, brown skirt with a matching blazer, matching shoes and a white, cotton turtleneck underneath. Your cat eye glasses sat perfectly against the bridge of your nose and you decided today was an updo kind of day.

Just like when you went to the grocery store, everyone was watching you as you walked into the station. You went up to the secretary and cleared your throat when she didn’t acknowledge your presents.

“Sheriff’s not here.” She said never even looking up.

You sighed, “I’m not looking for the Sheriff. I need to talk to someone about my whole neighborhood getting our mailboxes smashed in.”

She smacked her gum, “mhmm.” She flipped through the magazine in front of her, still ignoring every advance you’d made.

“Gosh you know, It’s my first day as a secretary,too, I hope I’m at least as half as good as you are.” You give her the fakest smile you could muster.

She finally looked up, still smacking her gum, “It ain’t my first day.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m not meanin’ to insulate ya.” You poured your lips, “Now, I’m just tryin to get what I need so I can be on my merry way. You can help me with that, can’t ya?” You nodded your head, frowning down at her as your voice carried a patronizing tone.

She scoffed before standing up from her chair, “Follow me.” She led you to one of the back offices where you saw an old friendly face.

“Karl?” You beam

He looked up and immediately wore the friendliest grin you’d seen in days.

“My my my, I heard you was back in town.” He stood from his chair and walked over to you, “Look at you. You don’t look any different from the day you left. Besides the tears and all.” He giggled.

“Too soon.” You said with a smile as you punched him in the shoulder.

“Well, what can I do you for? Unless you really did just come here to catch up.”

You bit your cheek, “No. I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know you was a police officer, now, or I would’ve come by.”

“Well, I am the Sheriff’s best friend, of course he’d want me to be his right hand man.” He frowned, knowing the effect even his name would have on you, let alone his title. You’d honestly hoped he’d ditched him as a friend after everything that happened between the two of you. But Lee was his best friend. You couldn’t blame him for having a shitty guy for a friend. He and Lee were like brothers, it was stupid of you to think you’d change any of that.

You cleared your throat, only to break the silence, “Right, um, I need to report something. Me and a few of my neighbors got our mailboxes smashed in.”

He nodded, I’ll get the paperwork ready, please, have a seat.”

The filing cabinet wolfed open as he searched for the paperwork. Once he found it, he came back to his desk, filled out the form and highlighted where you needed to sign, dated and write your statement.

“I also need the names of your neighbors that got hit. Lee and I’ll go by later and get their statements.”

You hummed, “great.” Nothing pleased you more than to know Lee would be in your neighborhood again. Before you could dwell on it, Karl spoke again.

“You know, I’ve missed the hell outta you.” He grinned.

“Oh yeah?” You smiled, peeking up through your eyelashes before looking back down to finish your statement.

“Of course. Outta every girl Lee dated, you were my favorite. Laura-Jean’s just… a frigid bitch.” You giggled at his honesty.

“Well, I can’t say I feel bad for him. He got what was comin to’em.”

He chuckled, “Ah, hell, you ain’t wrong. I rung his neck for what he did to you. Toldl’em to go after you.”

Your heart sunk. Someone told Lee to come for you and he chose not to? You thought it’d just been because he didn’t know where you were, but by the way Karl’s telling it, he did know. He knew the whole time and just didn’t give enough of a shit about you, or your feelings for that matter, to go after you.

You couldn’t help your curiosity, “W-why didn’t he?”

“Stubborn. I- look I’ll tell you this but if you tell anyone I’ll deny it.”

“Just tell me, Karl.” Your heart was pounding and you weren’t certain as to why, yet. Maybe you were still holding onto hope that your Lee wasn’t gone. That under that hard shell your sweet, charming, wonder Lee was just waiting for you to bring him back to life.

“Laura-Jean don’t let him drink ‘cause all he does is talk about you. Sayin’ how much he misses you and lettin’ you go was the biggest mistake of his life. I pulled him over twice when he’s drunk out of his mind, but.. I think he’s on his way to you. I never asked though.”

You sat there, your mouth suddenly dry. How were you supposed to respond to this? Lee had been nothing but rude to you since the second you got back into town and now this. Now you truly did know he was just as messed up as you were. You hid the tiny smile that tried to crack through your trembling lips. He was just as messed up as you were.

For so long you’d blocked out all your happy memories with Lee and as you sat there trying not to grin like an idiot, the memories all came flooding back. Every kiss, every touch, every look, every groan and grunt, every ‘I love you’; everything. Your Lee was always glowing and happy, with a smile that made butterflies fly around in your belly every time you saw it. Your Lee was a cool summer breeze on a hot day; smooth and welcoming. Your Lee was the first snow in winter; surprising and astonishingly breathtaking. Your Lee was your Lee. But that’s it.

The Lee you came home to was an entirely different man, one you’d never met before. Now, instead of a crisp winter morning he was a harsh winter night; frigid and brutal. This thought made the butterflies disappear in your belly and the almost-grin to completely fade.

“I- I finished my statement.” Is all you could say. You were done talking about Lee.

Karl frowned, “Alright,” he said, taking the paper as you stood. “Well, hey, you’re welcome to stop by anytime. I really did miss you, Y/n.”

You gave him a soft smile in return, “Thank you, Karl. That means a lot, but you know I’m gonna avoid this place like the plague.”

He chuckled, “Fair enough.”

You said goodbye and headed back towards the front of the station. You got your usual glares as you walked through the lobby and to the door, but nothing mattered right now. Your heart was once again in pain. Having drudged up all those beautiful memories with a man you so loathed was killing you from the inside out. You wanted nothing more than to forget him and coming back to town surely was not helping you with that. A car pulled up as you walked with your head down. You didn’t look up to see who was driving, you just dodged and waved, trying to find your way back to the sidewalk.

“Y/n, wait!” Lee called from behind you. Before you could even think to keep walking you turned and looked at him as he stood by the cruiser. Your breath hitched in your throat and you cursed under your breath.

“What?” You asked, folding your arms.

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I don’t know what came over me and I feel awful about it.”

“I don’t care, Bodecker. But if you wanna make it up to me, you can make sure that I never see your face again while I’m here. I’ve been here three days and I haven’t gone one without seeing your goddamn face. You’re the reason I left but you sure as hell ain’t the reason I came back.” A tear fell down your cheek. Your energy was completely drained by all the events of the morning and you still had work.

“I’m curious, you still like those chocolate shakes down at Ruby's Diner?” He asked, scratching his head.

“Seriously? Did you hear a word that just came out of my mouth, Bodecker?”

“Just answer the damn question, Y/n.”

You sighed, “Yes, okay. I haven’t had one in years though. Not since-“

“Our last date.” He finished for you. He turned on his heels and opened the passenger side door to the cruiser. “Get in.”

“Are you crazy? Why in the hell would I go anywhere with you?” You looked at him in bewilderment.

“Well, I think if we’re gonna coexist in this town, we need to talk and there ain’t no better way to talk than over a chocolate shake from Ruby’s.” He smiled, knowing how much you used to love those shakes.

“I- I can’t. I got work.” You said, looking down at your feet. Everything was telling you to not get in that cruiser, but your heart was practically pulling you to it.

“Where at?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Billy’s auto shop.”

“Ah, hell. You’ll be fine. I’ll drop you off after and explain the whole thing. Please, Y/n, get in the car.”

You sighed as your feet shuffled back and forth. You could just walk away and go to work as planned. You didn’t need an explanation and you really didn’t have to get along with him. You’d only be here a few months and then you’d never have to see him again. But, for some reason, your heart spoke for you before your brain even had time to think.

“Okay.” You whispered and hesitantly walked over to the cruiser; getting just close enough to smell Lee’s fresh aftershave. The second he closed the door your heart sank. We’re you really doing this and why the fuck was it so easy for him to persuade you? You wondered if maybe Karl hadn’t told you what he did then maybe you wouldn’t be here now.

Lee got in the driver's seat and buckled up, “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Taglist: @haydens-moles , @c00lkidvibes , @tcc-gizmachine , @buckysm3talarm , @gogolucky13 , @cryptidcasanova , @heavenlyseb , @writersbuck , @teddy-bearbaby , @bbmommy0902 , @sweetllamaparadise , @thereblogcrusader , @aleemendoza2425-blog , @frostbytebaby , @jessyballet , @emotionallyandphysicallydone , @sarge-barnes-sir , @generalbagelcookieslime , @lady-loki-ren , @dime-piece-xo , @greeneyedblondie44

(Dm me to be added to taglist)

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse Infested

Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing

Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.

Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.

I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.

Well....not very soon by the looks of it...

I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.

Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.

Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.

*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?

Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.

As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.

I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 

Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.

“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.

“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.

“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“

“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“

Oh crap, here we go.

“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!

“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.

“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.

“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“

“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.

“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.

So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?

“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.

Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.

“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.

Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“

“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.

I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.

“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“

Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”

“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.

Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.

But streaming

But sleeping properly

But having a normal life again

Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[2-cute-4-school]

NCT Dream reaction : another member scares you

Tw : near drowning scare, lots of bugs??

Mark Lee

donghyuck loves teasing mark

you’re mark’s s/o

results : donghyuck loves bullying you

congrats you get a free pass to cry with me cuz donghyuck is ruthless

but you learnt to live with it so it’s okay most of the time

until his friendly teasing involved a quite deep pool and your unprepared form being swung violently into it

so when you submerged underwater and didn’t come back up, mark forgot everything else and dove head first into the pool

his spiderman senses kicked in thank god

donghyuck saw his life flash before his eyes ⊙△⊙

when mark dragged you to the surface and hoisted you out of the water with donghyuck’s help, you took your sweet time before coughing violently

you gotta suck the life out of that dramatic effect ya know

mark coddled you the entire day, embracing your trembling form and keeping hyuck away despite his attempts to apologize to you :<

this man would spend an entire lifetime just taking care of you and smothering you with no complaints i swear cause you became like the centre of the universe for him ಥ_ಥ

writing music? thinks of you ; eating watermelon? y/n would like it ; showering? we could have some fun

but once he tucked you safely into bed and made sure you comfortably fell asleep after a scare that shortened both your lives by 10 years

WWIII commenced （ノ♯｀△´）ノ~’┻━┻

markhyuck summer fight pt.2

Huang Renjun

there’s ONE(1) thing you and renjun totally agree on

scary movies can suck your di- └( ͡° ︿ °͡ )┘

but the other devil spawns ( read dreamies ) decided you deserve suffering their enjoyment blame them

so you’re settled on the couch between china line with renjun trying to keep his macho man facade give up jun we know you’re babie (♥ω♥*)

but still feeling you tremble like a leaf beside him melted his lil heart :((((

so he kept a hand on your knee the entire time, rubbing random patterns on your leg in an attempt to soothe your nerves

the atmosphere became so tense, any hint of conversation dying once everyone was immersed in the movies, an eerie silence enveloping you

but when dear angel chenle decided to shriek in your ears and dig his fingers in you sides let me tell you gals

you jumped out of your skin

and spoiler alert : didn’t land back on the couch

cue dolphin noises

but when you looked up at renjun, a deep pout settled on your lips and glassy puppy eyes ( つ᷄.̯σ̣̥᷅ ) he saw red before his eyes

“YAH ZHONG CHENLE YOU WANTED SCARY MOVIES?!? I’LL GIVE YOU A SCARE ENOUGH FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, YOU RASCAL !!!1!1!!”

no one dares to scare/hurt his baby and escapes unharmed no exceptions sorry

after he taught chenle the lesson of his life, it’s cuddle time!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

he spoons you protectively and smothers you in a TON of kithes until he’s content with hearing your giggles  :>

Lee Jeno

you made it your personal mission to find a way to eradicate all bugs

no cap

and jeno just nodded along to your endless rambling about your strong dislike towards them

let’s be honest here, he was internally gushing at your cuteness like your biggest supporter (　◠ ◡ ◠　)

so when renjun dangerously nears you without a common garden bug  he found during your picnic with the dreamies in between his fingers and sticks it in your face with the hugest shit eating grin (���̀ᴗര́)و ̑̑

you let out the loudest screech and scramble to throw yourself in jeno’s arm who acted like your comfort blanket by now i’m so soft for jeno can you tell????

and he just 「(°ヘ°)

‘my baby?? scared?? the nerve of some people?? gotta!!!show!!them!!no one!!!NO ONE!!!messes with my baby!!!’ (｀Д´)

so he just pats you head lovingly and rubs your back until you calm down enough to let go of him

and then he leaves the cutest *smooch* on your forehead and gets up

he walks calmly towards renjun who was pretending to occupy himself with smoothing down a blanket and just...cracks his knuckles kaneki style

jeno just grabs the biggest bug he was able to find and grips the hem of renjun’s sweats harshly

wanna know what this gangsta beach does?? he frickin throws the bug down poor renjun’s pants

and then just leaves his unfortunate victim thrashing and shrieking for his life and retreats back in your arms like the terrifying baby he is

don’t mistake his softness for you as weakness!!1! he becomes ruthless when it comes to you :<

Lee Donghyuck

he’s already ruthless enough

so please PLEASE for the love of God don’t give him a reason to become even more of a devil spawn

but poor jisung didn’t get the gist bless his pure soul 🐣

you weren’t even that scared when you opened your phone to an remarkably ugly image of a cockroach (basically the same prank that was done to fetus jisung some time ago)

but you still let out a shriek loud enough to alert haechan

and while haechan seemed silent while he smothered you, his mind was going highwire which is NEVER good  (￣ェ￣;)

*time skip to the next day*

3 times

3 TIMES DID JISUNG SEE HIS LIFE FLASH BEFORE HIS EYES IN A SINGLE DAMNED DAY and he’s never been the same since

so when he barges in the living room where sweet innocent hyuck is seated on the couch with you cradled in his lap while feeding both you and himself and watching netflix 

jisung has a fit it was damn time baby chick

“you put cockroaches in the shower, in my cup AND on my pillow, do you want me to die young??!!?”

“they’re fake tho”

“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK”       ⊙﹏☉

eventually jisung retreated to put some shoes on and leave the dorm for a breath of fresh air after the near-death experience he encountered

“i feel bad for him” you took pity on the kid alright

“don’t worry your pretty head”

and he just kithes the heck out of you and automatically deleted all your worries once immersed in his sweet lips who could resist him tho

until another scream echoes

“IN MY SHOES TOO?!? YOU KNOW WHAT, I MIGHT JUST MOVE OUT”

Na Jaemin

we all know jaemin enjoys photography

and you’d be a fool to believe his camera roll is not ABSOLUTELY FULL of pictures of you both candid and not

he always insisted he takes photos of things he loves or are beautiful and you’re both and even more ✿♥‿♥✿

that’s how some of your hangouts turn into mini photoshoots whenever jaemin was in the mood

and that’s how you found yourself modeling for jaemin while the other dreamies were lunging around

“i’m frying over here, can you hurry up?”

“not my fault my baby is the prettiest unlike you gremlins, hyuck”

“what’d you say?!!?!?!!” lowkey ready to swing

jaemin doesn’t spare him a second glance, he can only focus on you :>

“hey honey can you climb on that ledge for me?”

he helps you like the gentleman he is to climb the stone ledge, one hand clutching yours and the other gripping your waist softly (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

so you’re posing, focusing on the camera when you feel a hand tightly clasp over your ankle

and jeez do you scream so loud hyuck was left fried, insulted and deaf

and you can’t even step away from the ledge before jaemin envelops you in his arms and clutches you tightly to his chest

“aigoo aigoo~ my baby it’s okay, nana is here”  in the softest voice possible (๑´ω`๑)

he smooths down your hair, petting it affectionately and as he leans down to smooch your forehead he meets eyes with a sheepish jeno who peeks over from behind the ledge

and jaemin just stares him down with that disappointed mom look 

and jeno just knows he won’t be getting any dinner tonight

but jaemin’s head is full of you you you did i mention you? so he can only coo at you and smother your entire face in little kithes :<

“you’re the absolute cutest and all mine, my cute baby” *bursting uwus* *fake gagging noises in the background from hyuck*

“so candidate no. 2 without dinner tonight huh?” hyuck: “wait no pls”

Zhong Chenle

power napping is your favorite kind of date with chenle

just curling up against each other wherever you two could fit and spooning or just cuddling or even just holding hands if the weather was too hot

okay but just imagine chenle holding someone’s hand while he sleeps i’m ded just imagining it x.x

so it’s already understood that you’re a sleep lover who isn’t tho

and while you fell asleep, chenle still had to wash the dishes after a meal with the dreamies

jaemin being the affectionate person he is cooed over your cuteness and couldn’t help himself from throwing himself beside you on the bed and jumping on it while screaming your name (basically the same thing he did to chenle :)))) )

but unfortunately you were a quite light sleeper and easily startled when woken up suddenly and not so gently  ( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )

so you let out a chocked noise that immediately alerted chenle who returned to see you staring at jaemin like a deer caught in headlights 

“ah hyung why would you do that? you scared them like that”

chenle whined as he pushed jaemin away who retreated with slumped shoulders and a pout don’t worry jaems we love you

and chenle just slips under the blanket and brings you closer to lay down together and soothes you ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶

and he just embraces you, tangling your legs together and hiding your face in the crook of his neck while he runs his fingers through your hair comfortingly chenle would make the best cuddle buddy no take-backs

“shh it’s alright, just go back to sleep, i’ll stay with you” (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

with chenle’s assurance and tight grip on your body to bring you as close as humanly possible, you fall back asleep as chenle stares fondly at you

and that’s how chenle escaped washing dishes *ha suck it losers*

Park Jisung

jisung blames mark

mark is his oldest hyung and the supposedly most responsible debatable among them

so how could his leader scare you to tears and then dump your shaking figure for him, the baby, to take care of (ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻

jisung could only stare at you as he hovered above your curled up form

“y-y/n, come on, there’s nothing to cry about, hyung didn’t mean it”

*mark facepalms* *sm building facepalms* *the white house facepalms*

mark just motions aggressively to jisung to rub your back 

and jisung pales as if mark suggested going to a haunted house *sigh* jisung you absolute clueless baby

he SUPER HESITATINGLY pats your back awkwardly, but you only curl up into yourself even more

mark pushes jisung to sit down beside you and prompts him to comfort you properly and jisung gulps

“sooo, how are you feeling?”

*well done jisung take a guess you sharp tool* (－‸ლ)

mark is just boiling with worry you might just dump jisung after his worryingly poor attempt when your small voice cuts through

“can you please hug me, sung?” (●´^｀●)

jisung.exe has shut down please retry in a moment

“s-sure, yeah, just-”

but you just slot yourself in his lap and bury your face in his shoulder 

jisung.exe is overwhelmed by your cuteness pls spare him

but he eventually wraps his arms around you too and just rubs up and down, occasionally massaging the nape of your neck gently

“this is actually nice, can we stay like this please?” (⺣◡⺣)♡*

you just tighten your grip on him in response

and jisung rests his head on top of your head to hide his reddening face away but also to hold you even closer because despite his shy demeanor he cherishes you so so much so please have patience with this baby

mark just shakes his head from the doorway with a fond smile knowing that you’re just right for each other (︶ω︶)

[dreaminginvelaris]

Nesta: Your past does not excuse your actions

(I am not tagging anti because this post focuses more on being critical of Nesta's character/behavior than outright hating or shitting on her. If you’re one of the few who do not use any excuses towards Nesta’s behavior then this is not addressed to you.)

Since Sjm won't address the toxicity that goes on in her fandom when regarding those who use Nesta's past as a defense to the emotional, mental, and verbal abuse she inflicted on Feyre, and her behavior to others, I will use a quote from Leigh Bardguo from the podcast Write or Die, s2 ep1 to support my view.

For context: Leigh is talking about why she didn't give the Darkling a redemption arc etc. She then goes on to say, "Don't pretend that just because you had a rough childhood you get to be an asshole and an abuser."

What Bardugo said here is pure facts. Your childhood will never be an excuse for the way you treat others. Yes, your childhood can explain certain things, and it can explain why someone is the way they are. Nesta's childhood explains why she's cold and reserved and pushes others away. But it by no means excuses the abuse she inflicted on Feyre and even on Elain if we really wanna talk about it. (I am in no way excusing Elain for the part she played in Feyre's abuse, simply stating she was also a victim of Nesta's abuse in certain aspects)

Throughout A court of silver flames, this is exactly what Nesta did when acknowledging her behavior of all those years to Feyre and her behavior to others. She used the abuse of her Grandmother, the neglect and manipulation of her mother, the feeling of lack of love from her father, and the pressure she felt from society and parents to marry into an advantageous marriage, as well as the neglect her father displayed during the cabin years to excuse her treatment of Feyre during the years at the cabin and presently.

Instead of expressing regret for the actions and words she committed, she uses her past as a shield, as a valid reason as to why she abused her sister for years. She blames her parents and her upbringing for the way she is now, but the only thing you can blame those parents for is the childhood they gave her that lacked any warmth, compassion, or love. But Nesta's behavior, her attitude towards literally anyone, cannot be excused nor justified by her past. That she must take accountability on her own, something she has yet to actually do without making an excuse for herself and to ask forgiveness for the one person who deserves it.

Before anyone comes at me, I'm going to address it first. Rhysand. Yes, Rhys is an asshole, and yes he has committed abusive actions in the past. I can wholly admit that because it's the truth that I cannot nor will deny. But here's the difference: he never uses his childhood or trauma as an excuse. Remember it's usually some of the stans who do this for him, who use his trauma as a shield. This also goes to the Nesta stans because yes many of y'all do this often. But Rhys has never used his past as an excuse, for being an asshole. He owns up to it. When he gets called out on his shit, he admits to it and apologizes instead of using buts and ifs and half-assed excuses.

Nesta stans (some) have a habit of using her upbringing as a defense for her cruel behavior, not just to Feyre but others, and when you try to call them out on it, they'll deny it and say they're just "explaining her behavior not excusing it" which is literally bullshit because we all know what they're doing except for apparently them.

The reason I am using Leigh Bardugos words on the Darkling is because Leigh Bardugo is one of the most highly regarded authors in the book community. So if you cant take my word on it, that your past doesn't excuse your present actions, take it from Leigh Bardugo, who is a beloved and highly esteemed author, that I know many of us respect. I hope that you hear her words and understand there is no excuse whatsoever for what Nesta did. I hope you hear her words and understand that I nor others are not being "unsympathetic" to people like Nesta who had a hard life. I simply will not have her past be used as protection to Nesta's shitty behavior and treatment of Feyre and others.

"Don't pretend that just because you had a rough childhood you get to be an asshole and an abuser." -Leigh Bardugo