#i don’t think i got to play enough
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drove through my hometown today, also through the neighbouring town, past my best friend’s house, and it all feels so close. like i could step back through time. is childhood really over?
#but everything i want is tied to things so bitter#also drove past the life flight helicopter#my little brother rode in that#it was just there#by a hospital it doesn’t belong to#someone having a terrible day#i don’t think i got to play enough#i want to feel that again#i never want to go back#txt#personali
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okay so i know the sacred 28 were heavy on the “traditional” upper class teachings, such as classical music and ballroom dancing etc, which is why regulus is often hced as being a pianist. but i see your pianist and i raise you: violinist
#i just don’t think piano would be Dramatic enough for him#the flamboyant little boy with his black curls and flowy shirts was 100%%%%% playing the violin come on#i can picture it so vividly#i also feel like violin is a more physical outlet? than piano#like you can clutch onto this instrument for DEAR life#you can make your finger bleed all over the strings#it adds that little extra#i also think instruments were one of the only areas he outperformed sirius and that meant everything to him#(you cannot tell me they were not compared and pitted against each other)#so for him to maybe start with piano quickly master it and then move onto the violin#it would do something for him#(while sirius secretly learned the guitar/bass out of spite)#(and james got him one the first week after he escaped to potter manor)#(and maybe effie was listening to some violin music one day and it made sirius break down from guilt and longing for regulus)#anyway#regulus headcanon#black brothers headcanon
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Anders has inordinate amounts of annoying little brother energy, which is ironic considering the main person you see that dynamic unfold with is his ex-wife.
#like I am NOT saying they consider eachother siblings because just no#but that’s the vibe their relationship has to me#cause it’s not even a ‘wait a minute that’s my idiot’ sort of deal. because johanna wants nothing to do with him#if someone insulted him or he got hurt she’d point and laugh and she’d be right for it#they irritate eachother but they don’t HATE eachother ???#johanna doesn’t care about his opinion enough for him to genuinely get to her. she’s confident enough to keep him in line#idk if I’m describing this right but I have An Image of them in my head lol#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#anders Hilda#Hilda anders#johanna Hilda#Hilda Johanna#Hilda season 3 spoilers#hilda spoilers#hilda season 3#when I say little brother I mean like snot nosed 8 year old who keeps insisting that mom said he could play#also I like that we as a fandom kind of just decided Anders and johanna were married. even tho canon never stated that#for my purposes they had to have been an item bc of Lauren’s story#but canonically they could’ve been a really weird one night stand#but they have such divorcee energy that I don’t think I’ve ever seen that take lmao#textpost#blethering
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How little self respect do I have? I wished the dad I grew up with, was badly abused and disowned by a happy Father’s Day & a happy day with his bandaid child he had after deciding 17 years later, he no longer wanted a child that wasn’t his blood lmaoo. Funnily enough, we only reconnected because my mother died and I think he felt guilty I got left alone
#it’s embarrassing the way I will drag myself into the dirt for an ounce of something from ppl I grew up with#esp my brothers dad. I use to be so obsessed with his validation and knowing I was loved but rarely did I earn it enough#I’d get a grumbly yeah you did good if my grades were above average or I was excelling at the sports I played#and usually a “id tell you I was proud if it was exceptional work you want praise for doing things you need to get done don’t be selfish”#i got called slave one for most of my childhood and I think that sums things up
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I actually don’t think I’m strong enough to make it through the rest of brokeback mountain this shit is devastating
#it’s so EARNEST and raw and like filmed so beautifully and so full of feeling I can’t got to the end#bc I have seen the back half of this movie once w my dad bc it was playing on tv and so I’ve seen like from when Anne Hathaway arrives on#but god I don’t think I’m strong enough wtf do you mean Ennis is happily playing in the snow with his wife#I’m abt to be Jack Teist in a way that is gayer and more accurate than everyone else bc I was just in Wyoming for the last year#and the whole time I thought this was set in Montana like then they were like throwing out town names like I KNOW THAT SPOT#and the Basque shepherds part is so accurate bc they r still a big part of the sheep/ wool industry culture n v cool ppl#one of the only decent things I wrote for that job was about the sheepherders festival god I should’ve gotten one of those shirts ugh#need 2 go to that museum to see the cowboy poetry before I move all my shit again#mine#brokeback mountain#movies
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i just want to emphasise how crazy it is that samdean don’t need or even really want (at times) any external relationship outside of each other. developing different kinds of human relationships with different people is a huge part of growing as a person. and they just-don’t. even when they have the choice and chance to do so-they just choose not to. they really fulfill each other’s every need and that is so. it’s so sick how insular they are and even more so, in some ways, how content they are in that.
#zachariah got it right#psychotically irrationally erotically codependent#i do think that dean likes having friends#he’s social in that he knows how to read and play people#and he thrives on that#he is also#hmm idk how to word it properly#but he forms connections very easily because he’s good at understanding emotions#even if he doesn’t always be considerate of them#i think fandom doesn’t give him enough credit for his awareness#whether it’s about emotions or customs (i can’t remember the proper word rn so this will have to do)#they always mistake his lack of acknowledging them (outwardly) as ignorance#or worse simply forget (willfully?) when he does#anyway this got long#my original point was that sam doesn’t really need to have a lot of connections to be comfortable/content#not in the later seasons at least#earlier seasons he wanted connections specifically outside of his family because he was suffocating (they all were tbh)#and ofc he wanted to be understood#but like i said i don’t think he needs other humans around the way dean does#supernatural#sam and dean#samdean#.txt
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I’m still going to get started on the cuttlefish this weekend, but my scrap fabric is getting ridiculous again so it’s scrap management time!
I meant to try a square-in-square block but I cut the first pieces wrong so now I’m doing a simpler patchwork lol
#sewing#scrap management#it’s a never ending task but a fun one! I get to play with color#so far I’ve got a little less than half of the scraps I want to use for this one cut down to size#I’m hoping to have enough to make another baby blanket#but I’ll find out lol#I just love scrap quilts!#idk if this one will really count as a scrap quilt considering it’s all scraps from the quilt I just finished#so like. it might just be a quilt?#but also as I cut out fabric I’m always cutting the pieces too small for whatever size I’m going for#into 2.5 inch strips and I’ve got a LOT of those built up#so I might make a quilt with them? or maybe a basket#I think I have enough strips from remnants of a specific quilt top to make a matching basket#that would be cool!#and they really don’t go with the color palette of the rest of my scraps#so it would be a good way to use them without having to balance them with all my neons lol
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Was soooooo happy with this phase 1 which is what made it so much funnier that I was immediately clapped by his phase 2 😂
#romina is still my fave boss but messmer is a solid second#almost every other boss I would describe as “would’ve been good if their damage wasn’t so overtuned”#my stance if that if I’m consistently losing to a boss with 10/14 flasks left the damage is overtuned#vs me losing to sword saint isshin with no gourds or pellets left bc he was tough enough to whittle me down#fromsoft bros will say get good but think high numbers is big difficulty#an actually difficult boss doesn’t need big damage output if the mechanics are the challenge#I don’t actually mind how relentless the bosses are in ER but I mind how HARD they hit on top of that#dodging a 12 hit uninterruptible combo where each move does like 1/10th of your health? that’s fine.#if I properly time 3 of those dodges I can still make it and it’s honestly my bad if I’m getting killed by that#dodging a 12 hit uninterruptible combo where each hit takes out 1/2 of ur health bar & has a 50% chance for an additional retaliation combo?#I *can* do it but Jesus Christ what a waste of my time lmao#how am I supposed to learn a boss when I can’t get into a flow state bc a single mistake can end a run smh#I just beat gaius and I didn’t even feel accomplished I was just like ugh finally#I feel like 95% of his moves are fine once you work out the delays and positioning#but I kept getting clipped by his charge attack like I would dodge out of the way but once the i frames were finished I’d still get hit#bc I guess I wasn’t dodging a perfect 90 degrees to him and the hitbox for that attack is long as hell#which would be whatever if that move didn’t take out like 2/3 of my health and come out nigh instantly#I don’t even really know the tell for the move bc I beat him before I learned it bc I lucked out on a run where he didn’t charge me a lot#luckily the game is absolute DELIGHT to look at and explore that I can forgive the absolute bullshittery of the bosses#like I just got to the summit of dragon peak and I’m blown away by the design of that mountain#if we’re talking verisimilitude in games how about that whole shebang#no obvious well worn path up to the top of the mountain bc it’s just for dragons who’s gonna be walking up there?#having the player follow a trail of increasingly dense dragon corpses is SUCH a great tone setter#which means I’m probably going to hate bayle but whatever I’m already invested let’s gooooo#tsuchi plays games
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I haven’t really seen anyone talk about this yet so there’s a possibility I could be the only one but I hate Chevreuse and how they wrote her
Even if I ignore the fact that she’s a cop and most cop-like characters piss me off anyways, within the context of the region she’s apart of, she’s just plain boring. As it stands we already have a good handful of characters in the game, a lot of them from Fontaine already, with the exact same motivations and high held personal morals; the law is there for a reason, if people enact revenge and take what they think is just and right All The Time, then there would be chaos and unfair violence everywhere. And from a real life ethical lens it WOULD be really chaotic if anyone, anywhere at anytime could take their views of justice into their own hands.
but that’s the thing!! kind of like how it is In the real world, Fontaine is not a wholly just and fair nation (e.g. the Entirety of the Fortress of Meropide, the trafficking and various other crimes that constantly happen within the nobility of Fontaine and the fact that it has yet to be thoroughly investigated/solved and continues to happen, the extreme economic and social juxtaposition between the court of Fontaine and its underground Fleuve Cendre area and Poisson) And it really sucks that the game fails to admit that or acknowledge it because then you have characters who they Want you to believe are doing the right thing and fighting for the right causes, but it winds up feeling meaningless when what they’re fighting for is the law of Fontaine.
Chevreuse would’ve been an Infinitely more interesting and compelling character if her passion for justice wasn’t rooted in upholding the law and order of the nation, but rather what justice means for individuals. How the injustice and discrimination happening in that nation breeds people’s want for revenge and justice outside of the law.
And yeah I get that they wanted another character who fights against evil and is unwavering in her beliefs of what’s right in the very conventional and legal way, but I find it really funny that Chevreuse herself says what makes the argument for her character being boring In the same event quest; when asked about possibly changing the ending and meaning of the Two Musketeers, she says she wants to keep the ending the way that it is because fiction exists in a realm separate from that of reality, where things like the morals of what’s just and unjust can be explored. and like!! that’s it’s!!! I’m literally sitting here playing a Fictional game that has the opportunity to showcase just how fascinating it can be to talk about those kind of things in a fantasy setting where your main player character has literally Killed mostly innocent human people before because they betrayed someone they cared about deeply. but whatever. WHATEVER!!!
#this is such a mess and went WAY all over the place but i needed to type out what i’ve been feeling while playing roses and muskets#i don’t even really care about chevreuse enough to want her to be a better written character#i just got so annoyed with her that it was all i could think about 😭😭😭😭#the cutscene they showed in the event was REALLY cool#but it could’ve been so much cooler if she had just let girlboss veronique do her thing#“you can keep your money and you can go to hell would’ve been SUCH A HARD LINE!!!#like sorry sorry sorry i do not care about some rich aristocrat who murdered an innocent woman because he wanted to stay rich#that line and she immediately moves to the side and walks out of the building to let veronique kill him THATS fucking hard#but again WHATEVERRRRRR#ughhh cops
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Hey by the way it’s bullshit that we stopped walking on airplanes. Wing walking should totally still be a thing
#i know why we stopped#i just don’t think it’s a good enough reason#we’ve got seatbelts and everything#wing walking#those bitches playing squash on the biplane having so much fun
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Somehow the tip of my right eyelid right above my eyelashes (or right where they are?) is a bit swollen and hurts a little, and I have absolutely no idea how something like that even happen lol.
Thank gosh it’s finally Friday, which means one last shift to go, but I’m already so exhausted and tired that I’ll probably have to pass out when I get home or something. I don’t even have energy for todays shift o|-< my everywhere is aching and I got weird bruises in places I don’t remember getting lol (like a really dark one on my stomach?????)
#blabbering#I’m that type of tired where my head/face hurts and my brain is gonna start overheating lol#I don’t even think the two days off are gonna be enough after this tbh#I just want energy to draw and play gw2#I still gotta go to the pharmacy too after work (after calling them first to see if they got it ready to pick up first ugh)
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Okay! I was tagged by @everything-but-the-not-natural and @skinnyscottishbloke for this! Thank you guys!! This is actually one of my favorite games. 😁
Rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people.
Alright let’s see if I can do a different artist each time too…
S- Sunroof by Nicky Youre, dazy
U- Unholy by Our Last Night
N- Never by Heart
N- Not Too Late by Three Days Grace
Y- You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift
R- Rise by Skillet
O- Over You by Daughtry
S- Still Swingin by Papa Roach
E- Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac
W- Why Not by Hilary Duff
R- Rain on Me by Lady Gaga
I- Into the Nothing by Breaking Benjamin
T- Trials by Starset
E- Endgame by Rise Against
S- Saints of Violence and Innuendo by Shinedown
S- She’s So Mean by Matchbox 20
T- Take on Me by a-ha
U- Underdog by Lacuna Coil
F- Fireworks by Katy Perry
F- Fix Me by 10 Years
SO MANY S’s!! Okay let’s see how some of you do: @dimdiamond @starthecozy @yacrimago @fantasyinallforms @lola-theshowgrl @lordoftherazzles @ahufflepuffhobbit @ragsweas @frosticenow @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book @mysandwichranaway @myeaglesong @quietspontaneity @bagginshieldoferebor @verk0my @xkingevelynx @ye3honk @middleearthpixie
#tag you’re it#my musical preferences#I don’t think I quite got 20 peeps…#but close enough 🤣#if I missed you and you want to play absolutely go for it!
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Just got around to watching Loki season 2 bc its about the only marvel thing I care about rn and also my sister made me and yeah no I definitely see why we’re shipping those guys.
#loki season 2#lokius#It was good. probably won’t hyperfixate on it but I enjoyed it and the ending was cruel and evil in a way that I love#although my siblings immediately started talking about how it was just like hollow knight (which I haven’t played yet) and pulled up a scene#to prove it after we finished the season and yeah it kind of is#but yeah the Francesca by Hozier of it all got me I’ll admit it#don’t have enough faith in marvel to think that they’ll actually do anything but you never know ig
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Mmm having another like venting in my head but knowing the second im done venting im gonna be like you didnt mean that tho moment
#its just hhhh I was not in the mood for other people today and my friend came over and took most of my day away and like… oh maybe there is#such a thing as relying too much on people and its this friend like rrrrr the i didnt mean that is because no people need to talk about thin#gs it’s healthy I dont want people to think theyre bad for taking my time its just that I wasnt feeling it for most of today I needed to be#by myself and like enjoy my games by myself and I attempted to make that known and i dont think they got the hint#and just hhh stop trying to bring up your problems right now this is my time to play a game I really wanna enjoy and i dont think im enjoyin#it as much as I could if I played it first by myself and I didnt say that directly so no way they could know and I will finish it on my own#hopefully if i have time cause thats it I dont have enough time for myself I need me time#and also my friend Needs to stop making suicide jokes. thats it thats the main one. like dude im having fun how do i respond to the reminder#that my friend doesn’t want to live#and going back attempting to bring up a problem while im gaming. I could of answered their question better but i was in such a mood that it#was like okay im gonna dismiss you and I dont want to dismiss struggling people no thats not who i want to be i want to help#… I hate it when I cant help so much#vent#I swear the timing of this to be when a certain someone went to bed was purely coincidence its just that I got back from friend hang rn#tw suicide mention#why is it when im in a mood I just sorta hate some of my friends like i was getting annoyed at them taking my drinks/snacks when usually im#like oh yeah go for it#is it oh youre in a mood you get the opposite of your usual love your friends with your entire heart or is it that like deep down I think th#ey take more than they give back. I have before almost said that I feel like I help their issues but they dismiss mine but then i got distra#cted by them essentially helping with it but like im not even sure if that was in response to me saying im lonely#also okay at one point they thanked me it was the bit where they said im their reason to live and then immediately asked if they could come#over and its like. well okay i feel like I have no choice here#and yesterday they mentioned oh i think I might take up too much of your time or something and like im too nice to tell you yeah sometimes#but it is to note i didn’t outright say no you dont I always love spending time with you or something i said oh i tell you if i really cant#due to homework. I am not made to be immediately busy immediately after i finish school I need time for myself#and im sorry you don’t have things to do on sat-wed but I have work I need to do cause there’s always so much work so at least thanks for#letting me have that time#… I love them I want to see them get better… so i wont say this to them
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Although - let me premise. I like Lyse. I don’t think Conrad choosing her to lead the resistance was earned, it felt very fast and a bit out of nowhere because she’s not a leaderly type and the traits she gained were in Doma (he didn’t see that happen), but you actually don’t have to change anything major to fix or at least better it in my brain, you just need to swap around some dialogue. Don’t have him talk to you about choosing her, have her take the reins herself or with encouragement when he dies. thassit I think itd give her some je ne sais quoi
#play game#stormblood#stormblood spoilers#ffxiv spoilers#I was right stormblood tries to handle two big things at once and is a bit misbalanced with how much time they both need to really hit#but it’s really doing the most with what it’s working around#it has limitations and put its shoulders back and rammed into them and it’s like getting bruised but it’s still doing good things#I think it just gets a bit panicked about how its pacing is going and tries to fix it in the moment — but it needed to stretch the fix out#which may be a multiple writers thing? I’m unsure idk about the production.#SORRY FOR BEING A STORY GUY IM SORRY but no it’s doing great cohesion things and great engagement things they really got the#linear quest-to-quest feeling good enough that I know when I Can stop but I don’t Want to#I would have spoken more about the other expansions while they were happening (arr specifically) but I wasn’t Engaged then. And I AM engage#now; which is making me Think Things. I think the fact that I can pick up on what exactly is wrong instead of just going (??????????)#is a point for sb and hw and a point away from arr base patch#no anyways. and we didn’t need to spend quite so much time at the ruby sea. ANYWAYS-#LYSE COULD BE A LEADER. That’s what her arc has been leading to. it’s just that the shoehorned way the concept is named is not satisfying
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More like rad-b-gone lol
#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol#thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless#except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move…#oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it#him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮💨#I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴#radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one#which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes#and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once#like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where#(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death#had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build#and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably#can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears#I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it#Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss#I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8#so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳#tsuchi plays games
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