#i don’t think bcs ever got the same appreciation other shows of the time got & i think that’s such a shame
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jesse pinkman 🤝 kim wexler being my two favorite deuteragonists of all time
#I’ve genuinely been in awe of vince gilligan for so long bc how do u go off w two shows like that#apparently he and rhea seehorn r working on something else and i CANNOT wait for it bc they are an indomitable duo#i don’t think bcs ever got the same appreciation other shows of the time got & i think that’s such a shame#bc it rly is a masterpiece start to finish#I rly need to move on to other shows but this one will always have a special place in my heart
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“I’m home.”
——
Tom (Eddsworld) x Reader [FUTURE AU]
Characters: Tom
Warnings: none,, just sad or whateva (send help)
Author’s note: don’t ask where i got inspo… short bc erm yah :3 i didn’t check for typos so oopsies !
——
The night was bleak, but yet somehow managed to house life with all of the neon city lights. You let out breath, only to see it animate as smoke in front of you. It was nothing you weren’t already used to, however living in America for 10 years will make you appreciate the little sun home had.
You had just got off the plane and were awaiting a bus to your hotel. You came here on impulse.. you were starting to get anxiety at the idea. What was the whole purpose of this trip? You tried to quell it, and so you looked down at your phone to see a missed call from- oh.. oh.
Immediately, you unlock your phone and redial, and with the same amount of swiftness, the other side picked up.
“Hello?”
His voice, it sounded so different. It was woven with misery. It’s not the him you knew. Of course, in the past he always had his monotone and sassy way of responding, but it’s.. different. Does he even know? He hasn’t called you all this time up until this point.. he had to know.
“Tom..?”
You choked out. Why were you getting emotional? This didn’t make any sense. You missed him, yes, vbht he hurt you. It’s probably the nostalgia from being at here again. At home.
But home didn’t look like home anymore.
“ahh.. y/n..,” he sighed and your breath hitched, “i’m sorry.. i’m so so sorry.”
You grabbed your stuff and got off of the bench you were sat at and started walking.
“Please don’t hang up, and listen. I don’t know why I didn’t call. I think about you every night. I was mad... I think I was mad. I was hurt you didn’t even hesitate to leave. I didn’t show up at the airport the day you left and I regret it everyday. The promise you made all those years ago.. we were teenagers, I know, but I can’t help but remind myself of it every time I think of you.”
Your walking pace started getting faster. Next thing you knew, you took a sharp left turn, then a right, then you continued on straight. Your body was guiding you at this point, but you didn’t care. As long as the tears didn’t fall. You listened intently as his breath hitched and couldn’t help but feel your stomach turn.
“I got the letter you sent me.. and I never wrote back. I’m sorry. I read it everyday. I tried writing back, and I’ve kept every draft. I want to read it to you one day.. I don’t know when that day will be, but y/n.. when I read the last part.. when you said ‘Til infinity.. did you really mean it? Do you still love me? Did the feelings ever leave?? Y/n I can’t begin to apologize enough..”
Next time your conscious decided to check up on your surroundings, you were in a building signing a visitor list with your shoulder prompting up your phone to your ear.
“Y/n.. I love you. I never stopped loving you. I was hurt, and I was upset.. that I lost the only person I ever recognized as a part of me. I didn’t want your happiness to depend on me. I wanted you to have the world, and the luxuries I couldn’t afford you. For fuck sake y/n, I could barely afford repairing Susan. I saw how much you wanted to become a doctor.. so I thought letting you go would be best,” he let out a sad chuckle, and it made you flash a sad smile in return, “I’m probably not making any sense, am I? Whatever.. I just needed to get this out to you.”
You found yourself standing in a doorway to an office. You didn’t dare make a noise once you realized where you were: It was his office.
How’d you even think to come here.. when did you even ask the front desk for directions? How’d you know— well, you knew what he was up to because Matt did keep in contact. Still, it made your stomach do flips.
You heard him speak twice over because you hadn’t dare hang up, “Y/n… you don’t have to say anything but..” He stopped, and so did your heart. The feedback from the phones was enough to make the back that was facing you turn. To say he looked different was an understatement.
You watched as his frown turned into a shaky smile, then into a frown again, but this time he bit down on his lip. Probably to stop the quivering. You couldn’t tell if he was crying due to the goggles he had on, but you knew he was in shock by the way he shakily stood up.
Your heart sank watching how he tried to stay strong for you.
The tears fell when he hung up.
The sobs followed when you closed the door behind you.
Tom slowly moved from behind his desk to get closer to you, only for him to run towards you after watching your legs struggle to keep you up. Falling into his arms, you clung onto him for dear life. He smelled so nice.. the alcohol scent was softer now.. did he lay off a little? All the memories your dream job helped you repress came rushing back. He was your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first true best friend… your first everything.
“I left you.. I broke our promise, and I’m so sorry Tom-” he interrupted, “You were my responsibility and I avoided you because I was being selfish.”
You looked up at him, and him down at you.
“I love you so much… you look so miserable… yet you look so pretty.. you’ve grown up.” You tried to smile but you realized it probably looked like you were dying, and the awkward laugh you choked out ended up sounding like a whimper.
Burying your face into his chest, you spoke muffled, “I regret leaving you. I was selfish.. and I didn’t think of you-” “No y/n-” “Listen.. please.. I don’t need the money. At least not anymore. I wanna be here with you again. I wanna be with you.. again. I wanna have the stupid family you always spoke about.. you know.. the one with the mutated dog and a daughter with the inability to tell her left from the right..”
You heard a chuckle rumble from him and began to pet your head, “I can’t believe you remember that..” Oh his voice sounded sad.. like he was crying. Brace for rejection, is what you told yourself.
“Id like that a lot y/n..”
You looked up to see Tom, now without his goggles.. Oh his eyes… what happened to your love when you were away. You couldn’t help but cry harder seeing him like that. You weren’t there for him. You watched as his face grew pained watching your reaction. Like a child, you rubbed your eyes, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
“Tom… I love you so much. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t manage to stop.. barely even speak… could you ever forgive me..? For doing this to you.. for leaving you like this..”
You felt his hand gently grace your face.. what once was a soft hand turned rough.
“I’d forgive you a hundred times over if it meant I got to hold you again.”
#eddsworld tom#tom ew#tom eddsworld#tom fanfic#tom x reader eddsworld#tom x reader#ew tom#future au#eddsworld future#eddsworld x reader#eddsworld fanfic#eddsworld#this lowkey a vent ngl
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I have a thought and I’d like to share (if you don’t mind) - Bakugo with a pro hero partner. Like I feel as though all I ever see is civilian!reader or assistant!reader and that’s great, but I need me a girl boss who kicks ass and Bakugo’s head over heels, like I imagine this person to be so adored and loved as well - like the ideal “celebrity” so kind and sweet, well-spoken, but Villains hear her name they go runnin’ - everyone’s low-key got crushes on her, Katsuki’s wondering what the hell he did to rizz her up and because they’re both public figures, in spite of how naturally private he is, I think he’d feel more comfortable off-handedly making comments about her every now and then, showing up to events together.
Idk it’s just in my head
hello dear !! it's so interesting you bring this up, bc i feel like i actually have a lot of thoughts on this and i guess i've never mentioned them LOL
i think bakugou could have such a flourishing relationship with another pro hero.
like, i really do. i think that it's hard for him to meet people outside of work LOL so meeting/working with another pro hero is, i think, a very natural way to come together. i also think that bakugou would really appreciate reader's hard work ! their passion ! their motivation ! i think that would genuinely be such a draw for him ??? i absolutely think a pro hero relationship would really work out for him, and i have one pro hero reader wip and the dynamic between them is my favorite i think i've ever written, bc they just fit so well.
but i will say that this is not typically a reader i picture for him ?? as my go-to ?? it's always assistant reader aikhfaha LMAO and. i really don't think i have a good explanation why, but. something like—i like to imagine bakugou having a break from it all, and i just don't think he'd get that with a pro hero partner ??
idk !! like, if one of you isn't on patrol, the other probably is, like 90% of the time, and i imagine it's hard to get just free time to be together, bc you both would probably be so busy !! and if you were working together at the same agency or partnering up at random points, i feel like it would be so hard to come home from work and not. bring it with you 🥺 as a pro hero i feel like that's impossible, and were the two of you both bearing the weight of that responsibility, i feel like it would be hard to have a relationship outside of that ?? if that makes sense ?? and i also personally believe that bakugou has had too much pro hero at the young age of SEVENTEEN, so i like to imagine a life for him where he can put it all away, even for a little bit 🥺
you could definitely argue that having an assistant reader would be similar, bc you would still be involved in the hero world, but. idk. i think being there on the sidelines and being in it are different, and i like to imagine bakugou coming home from a long shift and getting to hear about what you did at your regular job or what you did in the garden, where you went shopping, etc 🥺 just. give him some normalcy 🥺
but that's just my personal preference !! though i definitely enjoy the pro hero reader angle !! please katsuki wondering what the hell he did to rizz you up LMAOOO tbh, i think if we ever were fed some kind of love story for bakugou in canon, they would give him a badass pro hero partner, bc i really think he would have a lot of respect for someone that can handle it, not to mention does it well. like. i think he definitely has the loserboy hots for them LOL
#✿ ask willow#i thought about this all day and i still don't think i got my thoughts in order LOL#hopefully this made any sense akhfah#ty for bringing it up though hehehe 🩷✨😊
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hello!! I randomly spent like 30 minutes stalking your blog and!! 2 thing!!
bro I just got into atla and WHAT IS WITH THE FANDOM DUUUDE.. what’s with all the discourse it’s literally not that serious damn and how could people misinterpret literally every character so bad 😭😭 why are people so mean to my boy aang. he’s literally just a little guy. sunshine personified literally HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HATE HIM WHAT!! and just. everyone misinterprets everyone so bad, zuko too, also it is kind of annoying how most of the fanworks are about him, I love him too, both he and aang are my favourite characters, but it would be nice to see stuff focused on other characters too.. also people in the fandom woobify him so bad and it’s just like. why. his flaws are what make him interesting!!! also I have no strong feelings on z/k, I think it’s a pretty mid ship but it can be done well (one of my favourite fics does it really well and the reason I really liked it there is bc IT WASNT EVEN THE FOCUS THE FOCUS OF THE FIC WAS AANG AND ZUKO’S FRIENDSHIP, and the author wasn’t even planning for it in the first place it sorta just happened with the way they wrote it, so it actually made sense in that context, so it can be done well but imo it doesn’t work within the context of the show and kataang is objectively so much cuter cmon y’all have bad taste smh) anyways yeah. atla fandom is wack as hell and I will not be joining it lol a lot of people here need to go rewatch the show bc they seemingly completely forgot what it’s about and also touch some grass (but tbh aaaall the sequels will never be canon. to me. lok and most of the comics butchers the gaang so bad and it makes me so upset so I refuse to acknowledge them as canon. there are no atla sequels in ba sing se :)
ok wow sorry for the random long ass rant in your inbox I hope you don’t mind!! have been thinking about that and I guess reading a lot of your posts sorta made me want to get that out somehwre
anyways what I ACTUALLY wanted to ask is if you read fanfiction, do you know of any good aang centric fics? since. it should not be that hard to find them he’s the MAIN CHARACTER why is he so unpopular in his own show he’s literally the little guy ever <//3 more aang appreciation pls
AH sorry for taking so long to answer! i haven’t peeped my inbox in quite some time lol
BUT THANK YOUU and i agree 100%!! joining the atla fandom is like being dropped in the middle of a war zone so i’d definitely recommend staying away and just sticking to the actual show and fanfics lmao
now as for aang-centric fics i’m so glad you asked. lemme put yall on (a lot of this is aangst sorry)
1. 🧡
Aang's 18th birthday stirs up a lot of unprocessed grief and with the inauguration of the United Republic just around the corner and increasing expectations the pressure of it all is becoming too much
Republic City shenanigans, drunken truth or dares, complicated visits home and a semi-arranged marriage inbound!
Complete — 24 Chapters
Part 1 of the finding our way series
⭐️ now this is by FAR my favorite aang-centric fics of all time. it goes into aang’s repressed anger and grief in a way that is so well done i can’t believe it’s free to read. if you’re someone who loves aang, you will love this fic that is a guarantee. i seriously can’t recommend it enough
⭐️ this brilliant author also has another fic uploaded to the same series titled “beautiful boy” that is bumi ii and cloud family-centric. i’m currently reading it and it is a masterpiece so i’d highly recommend that as well
2. 🧡
A sound carried on the winds lead Aang and Katara to hope for something seeming long lost.
Complete — 3 Chapters
3. 🧡
Aang meets one of the firebenders who took part in the original Air Nomad genocide, and Suki deals with the aftermath.
One Shot
4. 🧡
Hakoda and Aang have both lost too much in the war. Together, they learn what it means to live.
One Shot
5. 🧡
In which, Aang still suffers from the guilt and shame after having abandoned his duties as the Avatar resulting in the Airnomad genocide and his friends, remind him that he isn't alone, not in this fight.
Incomplete — 4/6 Chapters
6. 🧡
A collection of ficlets written for Aang Week 2021, hosted by @ aangweek on Tumblr.
Complete — 7 Chapters
7. 🧡
Being the Avatar is a burden as heavy as the weight of the world. But as long as Katara is alive, she swears that Aang will never have to carry it alone. Written for Kataang Week 2023 Day 2: Injured.
One Shot
8. 🧡
Aang goes to Kyoshi for advice, and learns that they might have more in common than he imagined.
One Shot
9. 🧡
Raava was ancient. The spirit of order and light, created to serve as a peacekeeper among the spirits. That was her purpose. When she had fused with Wan, she had fully anticipated the years of strife and war.
What she had not anticipated, however, was the feelings. The feelings of love, joy, fear. The feelings of humanity.
And no such feelings were stronger than the love she experienced the first time she looked into the eyes of her newest incarnation. The first time she met Aang.
One Shot
10. 🧡
“I want you to make me a promise, Avatar Aang,” Katara whispered. This time, when she placed her hand on top of his, he didn’t pull away. “When this is all over, when the war is won… Promise me that you’ll grieve.”
(alternatively: grieving is hard. aang’s friends work harder. a series of missing/expanded scenes from a:tla exploring aang’s grief through his friends’ eyes.)
One Shot
(continuation in reblogs)
#atla#avatar the last airbender#aang#avatar aang#katara#kataang#pro kataang#atla aang#aang-centric#atla fanfic
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Just thinking about how Noah would be when ur one ur period (I just started mine for the first time in a while bc mine is messed up in so many ways and so I’m in my feels rn)
And like other ppls takes I’ve seen on this, he does his research, he’s attentive, he looks after you really well etc and while I don’t doubt that is what happens eventually, I don’t think it’d be like that at first.
I mean if we think about it, growing up it doesn’t seem like he’d of been around girls/young women in the same sense that someone with sisters or close female friend groups would have. So like while he absolutely wants to help you in any way he can and wants to make sure ur okay and show that it’s not a big deal. He’s definitely internally freaking out ab it.
like he obviously knows periods exist and they’re awful and the overall basics but i feel like he’ll offer to go to the shop to get you some supplies bc you’ve started unexpectedly and feel all great and helpful and then get there and be like WHY ARE THERE 475682 TYPES OF PADS??? Definitely asks some dumb questions, not in an ignorant way, he’s just genuinely curious and it’s not something he’d ever had to think about before
‘how dyou know when to wake up in the night to go change?’
‘I kinda just do idk, like my body just knows’
‘Yes but like how??’
ultimately he means well and wants to make you feel better about yourself and most of the time he gets it right, just sometimes he’ll say or do something and you have to just look at him like ‘are you serious rn?’. He’s a lil confused but he’s got the spirit
⛓️
⛓️! I am so sorry that this is extremely late and extremely overdue, but I am now going through my inbox for both new drafts and to answer any inboxes that I’ve missed again. I’m very sorry that this is super Duper late. I appreciate and love every inbox that you send and send thoroughly enjoyed this one about periods because I feel like even though we say that he would be like an expert I think he does have his moments with figuring things out😭
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tw: periods
Thinkin about… how when it’s Julie’s time of the month… she is in the best hands. Like yes she is in a house with 5 guys but, just imagine real quick,
Ray gives the impression of the most understanding like if Carlos is being a little brother bother to Julie Ray would be like “hey, lay off your sister for this week at least, she’s already in enough pain.” Bc I mean everyone’s is different like some weeks it’s tolerable pain, other times it fuckin sucks, sometimes it’s the same pain all the time it just depends.
I feel if Julie gets a week where it’s just unmanageable she would inform Ray that she’s not feeling the greatest and he’d at first question if she’s sick or if it’s the other thing and she lets him know it’s the other and then he’s the most like “ah ok got you 👌”
The boys would then be like “we haven’t seen Julie at all today what gives?” And go investigate and find her in her room sat in her bed and she says that she just doesn’t feel that great rn and then bc they’re them they’re like “…didn’t you guys have hot dogs last night for dinner 😳” and they start to be like “you’re gonna feel a little nauseous, a bit queasy” and she’s so confused but then realizes where their brains went (traumatized by hot dogs poor guys) and just says again “no I just don’t feel good this week”
And Alex cues in on the “this week” statement meanwhile Reggie and Luke are still thinking hot dogs got to her. “You might feel like you have throw up, your stomach is in an endless knot but then once you do throw up it’s this weird color of-“
Alex cuts off who’s speaking by hitting them in the shoulder and then apologizes to Julie, “I’m so sorry about them, I have a sister though so this isn’t the first I’ve dealt with“ and then he just makes the three of them huddle in a little circle and Julie just hears “we knew this would come eventually, like I told you two” there’s a synchronized “ooohhhh” “remember, like we’ve talked about” and then they all face Julie again and Luke makes the grand gesture of going “HOW EVER CAN WE MAKE YOUR WEEK OF MISERY LESS MISERABLE?”
Alex just puts his head in his hands, “this is… not what we rehearsed. I am so sorry Julie.”
Whereas Reggie’s approach is more, “can we get you anything at all? …Chocolate…? …heat pad?”
Alex is just continuing to have his head in his hands being so embarrassed.
Luke looks at Reggie so confused, “Why a heat pad? That’s so-“
“Actually that would sound nice.” Julie interrupts Luke and then he corrects himself, “that’s so smart to ask that is what I meant to say.”
Julie then tells them, “there’s some in the bathroom cabinet, if one of you can grab them that would be-“
Julie just hears Luke say, “BATHROOM CABINET GOT IT-“ and then both Luke and Reggie just sprint out of her room and into the hall to the bathroom (yes they could poof but they are on a mission)
Alex tells is still in Julie’s room and he just looks at her and tells her, “I apologize for them, I really tried to prepare them for this, just give them sometime to learn.”
And Julie just says “I mean they’re already showing in effort which is much appreciated, it’s good to know I’m in good hands.”
It’s always then a competition between who’s the most helpful to Julie during her time of the month (mainly between Luke and Reggie, Luke gets so competitive it’s very funny)
#just thinkin about Jatp lately which like what’s new but anyways#jatp#julie and the phantoms#jatp netflix#jatp luke#jatp julie#jatp alex#jatp reggie#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters
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to say im in love with the most recent ep of my personal weatherman would be a gross understatement bc my god, i dont think a show has ever pulled off two idiots that are in love and don’t know how to express it so perfectly. 
(put in a read more bc wow that got long)
and this ep is perfect for that bc it explains so well segasaki’s behaviors and attitudes up to this point, where we previously hadn’t got to see that much behind his curtain. we’ve seen yoh, we’re privy to his inner thoughts a lot, and we know why he’s in a difficult place with his feelings at the moment, and we know the way he perceives segasaki, which was complicated to begin with and has only gotten more so. but in this ep, we get to see this whole journey of where segasaki has come from, why he is the way he is, and how he found some kind of solace with yoh, and why he’s panicking at the idea of that solace crumbling.
and it’s genius bc it’s a backstory i never really saw coming, it’s one of the few times i could predict something in a bl. this idea of him not being an outright people pleaser, more so just a good observer of the status quo and acting accordingly to get by with as few problems as possible. and with his looks, his general demeanor and such, it means he can easily integrate with these ‘popular’ people who aren’t actually popular, they just act the way that they think gains them popularity, namely acting superior. it’s never that segasaki was like that, they were just his social security blanket.
(and no, it does not escape me that this set up is very much like utsukushii kare and I’d very much like to dive into how those shows take this same basis to establish in some ways very different and in other ways very similar relationships, and why so often with these dynamics we see these recurring themes of like… extreme obsession and dependency and a fear of being left, but another day)
I think what was a real breakthrough for segasaki wasn’t just first glance, but seeing those drawings of himself yoh did, seeing himself being that removed and void and emotionless and realizing that this random kid he didn’t even know and who’d only seen him for a moment could see that in him. and it’s this simultaneously realization in himself and these burgeoning feelings for yoh that lead to this change. he’s not dropping the mask, it’s more so that he feels this comfort around yoh that he’s never felt before and so he’s suddenly realizing how exhausting it is to put on the act. and he’s both treacherous and unsure and unwilling to expose himself in that way, but also feels this need to reject it now that he knows the weight of it.
and just like that, as soon as it slips, as soon as he lets yoh in, my god he just becomes fixed. he just like yes, this one, he’s mine, end of story. but it’s insane to me that, despite all the undertones, none of it is romantic at this point, and even to where we are in the present, none of it is ever presented or established as a romantic relationship between them. it’s sexual and dependent, bc they both know they need each other, segasaki especially, but they just aren’t able to recognize that it is romantic. and it keeps coming back to this thing about smiling, that the other never smiles for them, or segasaki saying i can smile better than that, they just want to see each other happy, and they want that happiness to be because of them. but bc of the mental places they come from, my good they just cannot do that. it’s such a mental block for them both. yoh is coming from this place of having complicated feelings but all the way back in those early eps, he did all this stuff for segasaki and just got indifference in return and he just wants to feel like those efforts are appreciated, that he is appreciated, and when segesaki said what he did about his manga, that’s the clearest way yoh has got the message that segasaki doesn’t appreciate him as a person. meanwhile segasaki is just so dependent on yoh at this point but still has this lingering tendency not to show his true emotions and remain stoic and removed bc that’s just what he’s used to, and while he does try to communicate his feelings for yoh in some ways, they’re just not the best and yoh doesn’t register, hence the way he behaves, so uptight and on edge around segasaki, that when he sees yoh smiling or having fun or at ease around other people, he just panics and goes to extremes and you know… ties yoh up. he just can’t handle the idea of yoh finding happiness elsewhere bc then he’ll leave and segasaki will suffocate. literally, going back having that front on all the time, like when he’s at work, with no escape, it’ll stifle him so much he can’t breathe. but this is where segasaki needs to start unlearning what he’s used to and being honest and open, and equally yoh needs to speak up for himself if he wants something to change.
but also with yoh, and i wrote about this before when i said this show was like watching two people trying to reconcile with and navigate wanting a dom/sub relationship, or at least something with those undertones, and not just sexually (or even sexually at all), but in their dynamic. bc in these flashbacks we see the essences of that kind of relationship that they have shown up to now, and this is their first prolonged interaction, which shows this isn’t just something that’s been put on them or evolved into per say, it’s a way they naturally behave, their tendencies, that manage to sync up. yoh is instantly willing and eager to serve, to tend to segasaki, not just feed him but cook for him where he isn’t a proficient cook just bc segasaki said he doesn’t like convenience food as an offhand comment. like not many people would go and make a full curry in a guy’s house you’ve talked to maybe 4 times just for that reason, but he does. equally, he goes out and buys a whole range of drinks and puts them out for segasaki to pick bc he hopes that in those choices he picked the one that was right, and in that small interaction of segasaki saying he didn’t mind then picking one, the way yoh goes from disheartened to happy with himself. he wants to look after segasaki, to serve him, and his feelings get complicated when, as we saw with those drinks, he doesn’t get appreciated for it. so when he does the cooking and cleaning and laundry and segasaki doesn’t seem happy about it, that’s when he gets annoyed and angry.
and on the other side, you see segasaki immediately unleash this need to be the only person in yoh’s life, this obsession, to know him the most, and for him to be the only person yoh does these things for. he eats a curry and asks for the rest to be saved in tupperware for him to eat later solely bc he wants to be the only one that knows the exact way in which yoh’s cooking is bad. he wants the joy of someone asking yoh if he can cook, and yoh saying he can make curry, for only him to know he actually can’t, it’s awful. and it’s the way the underlying thing of it is seeing these bad points, these weaknesses of yoh, is what he enjoys as well as the want to see him happy only for him and only because of him. it’s wanting to be able to hold those extremes over yoh, make him overjoyed bc he appreciates him and praises him so much, but also squirm and feel bad bc he knows the ways in which he is imperfect, bc he doesn’t see them as flaws, he sees them as the intricate ways he knows all of yoh there is to know. if that does not scream dom, idk what does.
and what i hope for in this final ep is some kind of exploration in finding happiness in the exact kinda fucked up way their relationship works. i want segasaki to tie yoh up and say these things about him not being allowed to see other people, and for yoh to both stand up for himself but also kind of… like it. it’s such a hard line to tread bc you don’t want to present some of these things as ok, but I think it’s important to show that before you can behave these ways knowing it’s ok, and esp if you don’t have good communication, you have to kind of just… do it. and i think these people care enough about each other that it would never cross the line, but at least in this fictional space it feels like it needs to be there for them to explore it and find the ways they both enjoy it (and im saying this fully only commenting on this in fiction and the way the story is, not a real life situation) anyway, I just think it would be great to show how, in a roundabout, messy way, these two people manage to get on the same page and communicate better and enjoy the ways they are dependent on and obsessed with each other bc at the end of the day they are just so fucking in love with each other, and this is just the way that’s expressed. it’s not gonna be a case of oh I see I was too much I was wrong I love you let’s me a nice happy lovey dovey couple, it’s very much i love you I’m obsessed with you our dynamic is still our dynamic but now we just smile a lot more bc we know we are both happy with the way we love each other. it’s about removing that grey area of doubt for both of them, knowing yes I am appreciated and yes I won’t be left, bc they learn the ways to show their feelings to each other that removes those doubts.
and finally, both bc i forgot earlier and bc i loved it so much and it made me cry a lot (it’s been a long week, spare me), I wanna talk about that prolonged head pat. the way segasaki does it, not just a pat but playing with the hair and down to his ear, more like the actions of an inquisitive baby than anything else, bc that’s what he is in that moment, inquisitive as to why this boy makes him feel this type of way, and the way yoh keeps glancing to it and doing that small laugh that you do when something seems awkward and you wanna draw attention to it hoping someone will see it’s awkward and stop, or at least acknowledge it, bc he’s uncomfortable, but segasaki doesn’t do anything, doesn’t stop or acknowledge what he’s doing, he just carries on, and it’s almost like he looks at yoh as to say no I’m not stopping I’m gonna do this yes it might be weird and kinda awkward but I want to do it so I will and i won’t be the one to stop myself just bc you’re signaling that you’re a little uncomfortable. and ultimately yoh does nothing, doesn’t move the hand, doesn’t even move away from the touch, he just lets it happen, let’s the moment be weird and uncomfortable but also feels that weird joy from it. and like… at least for me, that’s the spark of someone finding out they like that weird idea of being praised and appreciated, and it’s magical that segasaki ignites that in him bc of the specific way he is at his core, not the mask but instead letting feeling out and acting on impulse, being brazen and forward and not backing down when he does something. I just thing it’s beautiful that you see in these flashbacks all these small ways in which they discover the dynamic of their relationship and how it proves that there can be a future where they’re both happy in it after they get over their own doubts and learn to communicate better. honestly this show is just such a treat to pick apart and explore lenses to read it from and god i don’t want it to end
#my personal weatherman#mpw#taikan yoho#I crawled out of the floorboards to rant once again#I think this is how my tumblr is gonna be from now on bc I don’t have a lot of time to be active but when I have feelings I still need an#outlet so here I am#rants never die!!!
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I was thinking of what kind of a person Damian would be 10-15 years down the line and I accidentally created an OC group that I absolutely need to share bc I love them.
So I imagine that as Damian grows up, he mellows out in his own ways. He still talks very formally and has a semi-militaristic way of thinking but comes off more as a prickly introvert than a full blown assassin. At eighteen he’s more likely to glare at someone than stab them. Damian takes after Bruce in a lot of ways, he gains Bruce’s tall, wide build and complete inability to social interact. Sure, he can crush an interview or gala, but casual interaction? Forget it.
Damian goes to college away from home (not so far away he can’t visit, but far enough to be away from Gotham’s special brand of apeshit insanity). He decides to pursue becoming a veterinarian but mostly keeps to himself. He doesn’t talk to anyone, ever, unless absolutely necessary and even then it’s usually not more than 1-2 sentences.
Undergrad!Damian can be found usually in one of five spots: Class, Library, Dorm, Gym, or a cafe on the far end of campus. Now this cafe is mostly frequented by different arts majors. It’s a little hippy, but not enough to be trendy. It’s got somewhat decent food and drink, but not enough to be popular. The service isn’t great but the people who go there don’t really care. It’s mostly just a spot to work, be inspired, or lounge. Damian likes it because it’s quiet. He likes the constant scratch of sketching pencils, click of keyboards, and quiet mutter of people at work.
Damian picks a big table in a far back corner and claims it during his first week. One day, someone sits at the table with him. They don’t say a word, just hesitantly sit down with their work and sets it on the table. Damian glares at them and they meet his gaze. The two stand off for a little bit before Damian concedes to having company and goes back to whatever he was doing. The newcomer quietly does their work too. The two don’t speak, don’t acknowledge each other, just work in silence and leave.
It becomes a regular thing. They never talk, but they get used to each other. Slowly over the semester two or three more people show up. It’s basically the same process, sit down without a word, pass the silent vibe check, work at the table. By the end of the semester, they’re more or less an established group. No one has ever introduced themselves, Damian has no clue what any of their names are and he doesn’t care.
The next semester, they continue the same way. Damian quietly starts to note what classes they each work on and deduces they’re all in the same year. He also starts to take note of their regular orders. One week towards the end of the year, he has all of their drinks ready for them at the table. He’s met with a few surprised smiles and nods of the head. Maybe a raise of the cup in appreciation. It’s Damian’s small way of acknowledging them and solidifying for all of them that yes, they’re friends.
This kinda continues through the next 1-2 years. Each of them are kinda cut from similar cloth, introverted, socially inept, socially anxious, doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day they all suck at interaction and are perfect for each other because of that. They get to know each other from observing. They never quite get into having conversations per say, but people start talking. Someone breaks their silence one evening by saying there’s a good food truck two blocks away. It’s not a formal invitation, but everyone packs up their things and they go as a group anyway. Next time, someone at the table asks for an opinion on their palette for an assignment, they get a crisp, direct answer and move on. They all grow closer like this. Call and response conversations start to become common among them.
“Has anyone taken X class with X professor?” “Yeah, I hated it.” End of conversation.
“I’m going to see that ballet thing on Saturday.” “It’s supposed to rain that day.” End of conversation. All of them show up anyway, umbrellas in hand.
*eating skittles* “you know, most artificial red dyes are made from crushed beetles.” “Huh,” End of conversation.
*angry muttering* *curious noise* “fucking politics,” “oh yeah. Same.” *noises of agreement* End of conversation.
Sometimes there’s not even an interaction, someone just says something and no one feels the need to respond. It’s all good.
I’m sure some of the others in the group have other friends, maybe an SO or roommate, but all of them eventually come to the realization that their strange little group is special. They realize that they’d rather be at the cafe with their little group of people who can’t social interact than anywhere else.
By the time all of them are in Senior year, they have all mastered the art of having full conversations without actually saying very much at all. They “invite” each other out to stuff all the time, share news, have silent inside jokes, judge others, they’re a unit. If you see one of them and they aren’t busy, at least one more is nearby. Only… none of them know each others names. None of them have ever introduced themselves. If they know each others majors it’s because they figured it out based on their work. No one knows if anyone has siblings or where they’re from. Not a single one has had a conversation that was more than three minutes with any of them. They don’t even have each others phone numbers. Damian LOVES them. They’re his absolute best friends in the world.
His siblings are aware and after some light stalking are absolutely hyped for him. Dick dramatically grabs Damian by the shoulders while fake sobbing bc “My baby bird is all grown up! He’s got friends and everything! I’m so proud of you—“
Damian, horrified by his brother’s antics but also secretly enjoying the attention and absolutely delighted to be talking about his friends and filled with so much joy he thinks he found explode “Tt.”
Anyway, I love the idea of Damian making a group of introverted/socially inept people who gravitated towards one another. Bizarre little college kids.
I can’t tell what’s the funniest version of the identity reveal: Damian demanding their identities out of the blue to pay off their loans bc Dick said stalking is bad; Damian’s friends eventually recognizing him on TV/internet; all of them end up having Damian as their vet later in life and recognizing him; all of them becoming roomies and leaning each others names via lease contract/mail; or Damian having to protect his friends as a vigilante (they’re in Gotham for some reason post-college) them recognizing his build/voice/demeanor and it not actually mattering bc they still don’t know his civilian identity and all of them just having to accept that their buddy is Robin (or whatever he becomes as an adult).
#batkids#bruce wayne#damian wayne#damian al ghul#dick grayson#dick wayne#batman#jason todd#batboys#batfam#robin dc#dc robin#robin damian#jason wayne#dc#dc batman
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got any Sweezy x Harper hcs?
It’s a very gradual thing and there’s never really a confession it’s just like. Somewhere along the lines they make it official. If there were ever a confession it’d be a major snorplo moment where it’s like “we’ve legit been dating for years now”
they're both stoked tho
I would not be surprised if it's something that happens later in the timeline honestly. if we get swarper for realzies in canon im assuming it's not happening until like. probably later in the sequel. idk if the animated series would be another interquel with all the bounties we didn't see between the game and dlc or more of a retelling of the game orrr??? idk idk??? shrug?? so idk exactly to expect but who knows
maybe they'd only consider themselves together by the time everything w/ Gurgula is said and done and they can actually kind of. truly move the fuck on from everything that's gone down.
Sweezy is actually the more outwardly affectionate one. Also a lot more flirtatious. Likes to see Harper get all mushy and flustered. Harper is a bit on a stoic+awkward side and a little hesitant to get so close to her bc she’s still getting used to being close to people without them. Yknow. (COMIC SPOILERS KIND OF FOR THOSE WHO HAVENT READ IT YET SORGY) Dying getting their memory wiped turning out to be evil etc etc etc
Sweezy too to an extent. I think even though she is very like “hiii babe hugs and kisses love youuu” she is also a bit scared what the future holds and doesn’t want to let her guard down entirely just yet. She’s not very vulnerable and it does take a while for the two to have their more serious chats on what they are how they feel anything super deep etc etc
Though of course I say this relative to their personalities. Harper is pretty sweet and sweezy is still sweezy. Sweezy does still tease her and during tougher patches she can be, well, tough. Meanwhile Harper is usually looking on the bright side and whatnot.
I don’t think they argue much but there’s playful bickering and I’m sure sometimes the tension from bounty hunting boils over a lil ..
When they do fight they take some time to themselves then talk it out and usually get a little treat. There has been one (1) tearful apology. At least
I also do feel like they'd be the sort to be more lowkey about things anyway. sometimes Harper wishes she had an easier time showing her appreciation and love but in general there's not a lot of pressure to act a certain way or whatever
Sweezy fell first for sure. harper probably fell harder but i feel like she'd not pin it for what it is at first,, "wow im so glad sweezy is such a good friend :) idk why my heart is racing rn"
Harper was from a relatively well off family, cozily middle class. Sweezy was from a working class family. there have been some "no harper not everyone can go to a ski resort every winter vacation" moments but mainly harper wishes she still had it to spoil her girl. She likes giving gifts when she can for sure.
though for real she would give sweezy like a thousand cool rocks. she will find a way to give something nice.
Harper does like cuddling but sometimes the gems are a bit pointy. it takes them both a while to get comfy. But it can be their lil ritual
The two certainly have each other's back but neither is overprotective. They're both very capable and one need not try to shield them from the world or anything like that.
I need... antics. Past midnight shenanigans. Getting into trouble havin fun making memories. Please. Please.
sleepovers :3 yes technically atm that's just sleeping on the same shelf or whatever but :3 we can make it happen we can make it work...
Sweezy has a lot of romantic experiences. Many a shitty ex. Played into some of her worries but Harper is a breath of fresh air honestly.
Meanwhile Harper has very little experience and has probably only dipped her nonexistent toes (tip of handle? Barrel? Muzzle?) into the waters of dating with either 1-2 past partners or dates that have never gotten serious. She is very excited but also very nervous and wishes that the people she would have gone to for advice were all still around. And/or of sound mind and body. Yknow. Yknow who I’m talking about :) two or three people in mind here… :) :) :))) but cest la vie
Sweezy is bi and proud bay beeee!! Harper is sapphic and otherwise unlabeled,, bicurious mayhaps,, and a lil shy on the matter... girl pretty... what else is there to say...
Neither really wants to do anything too formal for dates they like doing fun stuff. The bounty hunter has to chaperone/drive/third wheel often NOT LIKE GATLIANS CANT MOVE AROUND IT'S JUST TRICKY 8 TIMES OUTTA 10 but they like to go places like the park arcade aquarium... stuff like that i think...
maybe they'd want to be married someday but either it'd be a small ceremony or getting officiated and then just throwing a reception party and/or and/or never getting technically married but remaining life partners
harper would be into getting married but it would take a while she would be very intimidated by the prospect. sweezy doesn't know if marriage is right for her in general, successful relationship or not.
#swarper#sweezy x harper#asks#high on life#harper#sweezy#headcanon#headcanons#i wish i had more but i probably will have a couple of other things to say once the comic is complete and whatnot
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ATLA Live Action Episode 7: Overall Thoughts.
Right so this episode was a mixed bag for me. On paper I should have loved it: it’s two big moments are Azula/Katara scenes and they parallel each other. Those are my two favorite characters and I love exploring how they mirror one another. But the actual execution of some of the scenes was…lacking.
Okay I legitimately forgot that Zhao tried to blow up Zuko’s boat in the original and it was funny bc I was reacting like it was something new this show did…nope lmao. Speaking of Zhao, I feel like this show can’t really decide what they want him to be. In the OG it was pretty clear: he was an asshole with lots of resources and therefore a threat, but he was also cocky and delusional and not very good at his job. Here I feel like this show is flip flopping between having him be legitimately threatening or a delusional idiot. Both are fine choices individually and honestly I don’t really care what they do since it’s not like he was a main character in the OG, but they do need to pick one. Like, objectively, from a writing standpoint.
I know some people disliked the changes to Yue and Sokka’s relationship, but I thought they were cute. I liked that they used the extended time at the North Pole pre-attack to flesh out their relationship more and give them some more bonding moments. It makes me buy into them more (I was never a love at first sight girlie). I agree that Yue’s character in the original was a really well written example of the good and bad things that come with being as loyal/dutiful as she is and that is missing here. But unlike our main cast, if you look at her without the lens of the original, she’s still a fleshed out, decently written character. I think she works (except for her hair of course).
Sokka on the other hand…I like that they’re allowing him to express his insecurities and trying to give him an arc, but I didn’t like Yue saying his heart was the most important thing about him. It’s such a generic line, and out of all of our main cast, it seems to suit him the least. It made it feel like they’re trying to give the whole main trio the same arc, which I…did not appreciate. But he does have good chemistry with Yue.
Speaking of generic arcs for the main trio…dear god I hate what they’re doing with Aang. It’s not offensive but it’s so overdone. Every fantasy protagonist in history has this conflict, and while it works for an episode of a cartoon, it does not work as Aang’s central conflict. Gordon’s doing his best with his lines, but I get bored watching his scenes. Also I didn’t love the stuff with Kuruk. Stay away from the Korra Spirit World stuff. Y’all can’t handle the material you have.
Okay onto my main girlies:
Azula’s arc definitely goes into the “it’s a different choice from the original but it works on its own category.” If you don’t compare her to OG Azula, these writing choices make sense. They work, and they go hand in hand with how this new Ozai is different from OG Ozai. OG Ozai really didn’t seem to care about his kids. They were tools in his play for power. We never got the sense that he’d really thought about either of them succeeding him, and or that he’d ever thought about his own death. This Ozai seems to be trying to turn both Azula and Zuko into younger versions of him (as we saw in the Agni Kai last episode), and he brings up the “heir to the throne” title a lot. This means he wants his kids to have a fighting spirit, a drive. It makes Azula’s defiance all the more twisted because it’s supposed to be this empowering moment for her…but really it’s exactly what Ozai wants. It’s objectively really good writing, and both Lizzy Yu and Daniel Dae Kim do a great job acting it out. At the same time, I feel a little loss of OG Azula. OG Azula was so busy fighting for Ozai’s love, being perfect, that she never had time to think about what she wanted because she was so stifled in the “golden child” role. That’s a type of abuse we don’t see depicted a lot in media, and I do wish the live action show had taken up that challenge. On the other hand, the arc we got was objectively good and I’m not sure they could have handled that subtlety. Overall, my feelings on these scenes are mostly good with some doubts in there. It does make me wonder what they’re going to do now that we know we’re getting a Book 3. Azula’s original Book 3 stuff with Ozai really wouldn’t work now that she’s already become so defiant.
Okay my girl Katara: FINALLY she got an episode to shine rather than being a side piece for Aang or Sokka’s arcs! Funny that all the filler episodes they cut were the Katara centric ones…but I digress. I understand not wanting to cut the stuff with NWT sexism, and I DON’T THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE. But with all their worries about Sokka’s sexism not translating well to a live action, they should have considered the fact that such heavy handed sexism might come off as cartoonish in a live action format. Most real sexism is more subtle, albeit just as frustrating and wrong, and I’m sad the show passed up their opportunity to portray that. I did like that Katara finally got to show both her anger and her hope. I felt like this was the first episode where she really felt in character. While some characters work while being different from the original (mostly FN characters), Katara’s changes made her an objectively more hollow character, so seeing sparks of OG Katara was awesome! She still felt a little flat, but it’s definitely a HUGE step in the right direction. (And Kiawentiio did awesome. Glad she’s finally getting to showcase her range). The end of the Katara/Pakku fight was a little weird but I’ll let it slide because she had that AWESOME line to Aang where she was like (I’m not going to get this exactly) “Fighting is my decision, not you or Pakku’s or anyone else’s.” I was CHEERING! This is the Katara we need more of.
I know I was largely critical in this review, but I really enjoyed this episode. This episode really solidified my belief that you have to think of these characters as totally new people. Different choices are being made, and that’s okay as long as they’re still good characters with ties to the original. Sometimes it works (Azula, Yue) and sometimes it doesn’t (main trio) but if you can enjoy it when it works, you’ll enjoy the whole show a lot more.
I’ll give this one an 8.5/10. Kind of the opposite of the last episode. With that one, there weren’t any great new choices they made (most of the best moments were straight out of the cartoon), but there was also nothing I really disliked. This episode made some great new choices that I thought were interesting and took some steps towards fixing some of the characters they butchered, but there was some stuff in here that I actively disliked (namely Aang and Zhao).
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla live action#natla#netflix atla#atla stream of consciousness#azula#katara#zhao#yue#sokka#aang#kuruk#yuekka#master pakku
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OP I LOVED UR ANDREIL POST GOING CRAZY THINKING ABOUT IT if you have anything else in that amazing brain of yours on this take please do share because i absolutely LOVED how you articulated this aspect about andreil. its something i particularily appreciate about their dynamic and relationship with anger and Their Issues TM. your post will cross my mind whenever ill think about it from now on.
I don’t think I have ever gotten an ask and this is kind of making me go insane??? I hope you know that you made my day and also, I’m so glad people share in my endless brainrot bc when it comes to this series and these characters I simply cannot stop
It really isn’t nearly talked about enough that the thing that got Andrew to actually look at Neil and become interested was (as cited by Neil himself at some point tho I can’t remember in which book that scene is from the top of my head) Neil’s bone-deep jealousy of Kevin. It’s—it ties into that whole epiphany that Neil has at some point, when he looks at Andrew and realizes that while he is hurtling towards his own breaking point and about to burn out and shatter into something he’s not sure he’d recognize if he survived the encounter, Andrew hit that point and broke from it years ago. And that’s an understanding that goes both ways between them—in a fucked up way, it feels like Andrew might be the future that Neil has waiting for him if he doesn’t end the year six feet under: hollow and drifting, passionless after everything he had to rip away from himself to be able to survive. At the same time, Neil probably reminds Andrew of how he used to be, back when he had hope for things only to have that hope rip him apart—which is exactly where Neil seems to be headed for the majority of the story.
I think that a lot of Andrew’s understanding of Neil comes from the fact that he knows intimately what it feels like to be caught between a rock and a hard place and cut his own lifeline, only to then fail to die on impact. Neil hasn’t had to resort to that yet, but he is hanging by a thread. You’d think that watching him struggle would only serve to drive it home for Andrew that he made the right choice in closing himself off, except… well. His expectations of life and the people in it are so bleak, it’s no wonder he finds himself drawn to Neil’s messy emotions and every unexpected show of spine like a moth to a flame.
Neil, for all of his issues and scars, can still feel things—can still want something so badly it defies all logic. Can want something with such visceral, fucked-up intensity that it resonates where it shouldn’t. It’s an ability that Andrew thinks he’s either lost or cut out of himself to stay somewhat safe, sane and alive a long time ago, but that remains as the most fundamental crack in the foundation of his being. It’s a fascination that seems to come out every time he’s sober and eventually ties into him wanting Neil—wanting something worth wanting and putting a name to it once he finds it. They look at each other and don’t want a watered-down version of the person in front of them. It creates a relationship that embraces issues big and small and accepts (even values!) the messy parts of being human. It means that any space shared between them immediately becomes safe once they settle into something comfortable together. The way they handle the uglier sides of each other’s personality honestly makes me feral because it’s always done with understanding and acceptance and they even find positives or comforts there that the other can’t see and that’s probably a reason for why 1) their chemistry is so off the charts and 2) their relationship is so damn healthy (in addition to their communication being stupidly good when it comes to each other).
Andrew wants something real and Neil wants to be real. And then they get to have exactly that.
#I hope this is even somewhat coherent#this went way out of hand but it’s an aspect of them that’s so hard to put into words#something something Andrew’s almost detached fascination with intense emotions and fervor#he shows that same tendency when it comes to Kevin vs exy as well#in the sense that I’m convinced Kevin’s passion both fucks him up and mystifies him#Neil is just much more up close and personal bc yeah his original devotion that caught Andrew’s eye was to the sport#but then Andrew got to experience that devotion turned around on himself full force#you cannot tell me he was ready for that#but also also#this and the og posts were meant to be about Neil and Neil’s emotions being ugly and messy and human#and how that resonates with Andrew because even terrible feelings can be better than an emotionless void#between numbness and twisted-up falsities#Neil’s raw emotions were probably the most honest thing about him early series and he had a lot that he was never allowed to express before#and not only is Andrew safe to let go of those inhibitions around#Neil also wants for Andrew to relearn how to enjoy that same privilege with him#losing control and all that#there’s a lot that can be said about all of this and I’m really not fully finding the words but. THEM. That’s all and thank you.#also ty for the ask I was really !!! when I saw that in my inbox :)))(#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#aftg meta#answered asks
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hi again!! im the same anon with the niki song reccs! im glad you appreciated my first ask cuz i was nervous that itd look like an unsolicited reccommendation 🥹
can i just ramble a bit more because—PLEASE the stage play format!! ive only read a few ever but the way kaeya's face is almost always shadowed or turned away from the audience to show his shady-ish and closed-off nature⁉️ how it ties in with his in-game-all-the-world's-a-stage thing⁉️ the way the fic plays around the concepts and thin lines of truth and lies, secrets, show and pretend⁉️ I AM ALL FOR ITTT 😩🩷🫶 and the way you describe the setting, its also very reminiscent of like, the paper storybook animation mondstadt had in some of its cutscenes!! every time i read it i can imagine myself in a proscenium, thrust, or black box stage akzjdjfkdsk
also if you dont mind me asking, what are some songs in your playlist for my heart, your song? id love to give them a listen!! 🩷
omg no anon you’re all good!! i loooove song recs like all the time!! and i also just think its really sweet you have songs that you associate w a fic of mine 😭 like i could cry forever 😭😭💗
ANDDD 😭😭 the fact that you picked up on kaeya’s staging!! anon!! i’m so glad that it came across!!! even in writing scenes for stories and not plays, i think about the like “staging” of them quite a lot, often like i’m an audience member myself and i’m always trying to find unique “stage pictures” or like…..these “pictures” that convey something, like in theater. and i loved the idea of having kaeya’s face and staging always away from the audience until he reads the letter at the end of act ii!! and i could CRYYY to compare the scenes to the mondstadt storybook 🥺🥺💗💗 waahhhh thank you so much this fr means the world to me oh my god 💗💗
i do not mind at all!! my heart, your song has a very long playlist with a lot of live music on it bc the reader is a performer!! also some from musicals where i took inspo on the kinds of songs reader was performing!! here are some of my favs on that like 4 hour long playlist:
1. this live more acoustic version of Venus as a Boy by Bjork
2. Would That I by Hozier
3. Lover’s Desire by Anais Mitchell for more upbeat “chase” scenes as i call them—lots of flirting and playing and falling.
as things start to get angstier and reader gets more reckless:
4. Hymn / Her by Jordaan Mason
5. Eric by Mitski
6. I Don’t Care Much from the 1998 Broadway Cast Recording of Cabaret (this is actually the song i kinda envisioned reader playing at diluc’s in the postface to scene ix—or something like this)
7. this live version of Shrike by Hozier
and for some softer, more healing ones that are towards the end of this playlist, and that i’ve been writing act iii to!
8. No One Else from the Broadway Recording of Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812
9. An Ending (Ascent) by Brian Eno
10. this piano version of Avatar’s Love from ATLA because I’ve always had a soft spot for this melody lol
sorry if this got kinda long 🙈🙈 but fr the playlist is actually like. 3 hours jfkdjska and i’ve tried to make all the songs flow into each other genre/sound wise….as well as have a complete arc of the story bc i’m just. insane LMAO
but thank you so so so much again—for your song recs previously and also your lovely thoughts and further curiosity for music 😭💗💗💗 it means a lot to me and makes me so excited jfkdjska
#the playlist on spotify is called ‘oh you wonder!’#and originally that’s what the fic was called as a wip#because of the line from shakespeare’s the tempest#where ferdinand meets miranda for the first time and the first thing out of his mouth is#‘oh you wonder!’#and it’s a sorta famous lil line#of like love and awe and adoration#that i just felt fit this fic v much#ANYWYAS!!!!#THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME YAPPPP 😭💗💗💗💗#cielo chats!
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Season 3 wasn’t so bad actually.
I mean, I don’t like that Tim died, but it wasn’t a surprise. Daisy was certainly interesting, so it’s sad to see her go too.
bUT THEY KILLED MICHAEL! AND GERRY! TWICE EACH!!! and the other Michael. And ALMOST Jon, but he’s thankfully not dead.
I’m really glad we got a full grasp of what entities there are, and why, that just makes me happy lol. The more I listen to this the more convinced I am that I wouldn’t mind this job TOO too much. I probably wouldn’t, y’know, SURVIVE, but I think I’d be good at the rest of it. I also really liked getting to see all the different characters, like Trevor, Julia, Gerard Keay (r.i.p. v_v), and Helen once she became the Distortion. I can’t believe she literally asked Jon for help and he was just like “gEt OuT”, like SIR. STOP PICKING FIGHTS WITH ENTITIES THAT DON’T WANT TO KILL YOU!
I gained some healthy respect and admiration for Elias this season but while I appreciate how absolutely killer the man is, hE MADE MELANIE AND MARTIN ***CRY*** AND THAT IS **NOT** OKAY WITH ME!!! I loathe that he was like “well, if I had more time I’d tell you about how your crush despises you and break your heart THAT way, buuuuuuut since I’m a very busy man I’ll just go with shattering your entire sense of self-worth instead. :)”Watching Martin snap at people is probably one of my favourite things though because yes bby, stand up for yourself! Stop taking shit from people! You have a right to be angry and optimism is not a bad thing!
Oh my gosh though, when Jon was in Georgie’s house and all the lights went out and Nikola came in and talked to him I almost died. My sister had showed me TikToks and YouTube Shorts that she liked, usually cosplayers, using the audio of “You don’t sound Russian??” “How can I sound ANYTHING, silly? I’m Plastic! :D I don’t even have a vOiCe BoX, I had to bOrrOw this one!” And she’d literally shown me one like, THE DAY BEFORE, and I have no idea how I didn’t pick up on Jon’s voice, but once the scene was playing on the episode and then hit that part I was like OH MY GODS NO WAY ITS FROM MAGNUS ARCHIVES NO HEKKING WAY!! I played it for her and she got the exact same look on her face, though since I started the scene earlier than most audios do (for context) she already had the look because she recognized the voice lol.
But yeah, pretty good season overall. Listening to Basira and Melanie go “oh my god nobody has ever had a bigger crush than Martin has on Jon” was absolutely brilliant, I couldn’t stop grinning for a solid minute. Then Elias made her CRY but that’s not the point here. I also love that they invited Martin out for drinks, and that Jon is a Cat Person(tm).
I’m excited to see what season 4 does with Jon’s essentially-a-coma-but-he-has-no-actual-vitals and dreams, and whatever the ritual for the eye is, since that was supposed to come after the Unknowing. I can’t remember what Gertrude called it, but I know it had to do with crowns.
Anyways, thank you for listening to my rambles, luv you so much, and enjoy the beginning of yet another school year! :D <3
AHHHHHH season 3 my beloved. Also you may judge me but one of my favourite scenes is Elias making Martin cry because the two things I love in this world are Elias Bouchard and angst. Season 3 is so much fun bc u get to meet so many cool people. I love Daisy sm, she’s such a cool character. I’m very excited I think you’ll love season 4. Anyways have fun I’ll probably see you tmrw <3
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ugh nat i need help. i totally cant get over swiftwyn, like ever since they broke up I’ve been more heartbroken ab it than I think they themselves are lol. Idk I think it’s just that they were such a perf couple and they seemed like such soulmates. like all the music she wrote for and with him, the way they looked so good together, and just the fact that they seemed so emotionally connected on so many levels. like they’re still my couple goals if I’m being honest lmao. idk I just can’t get myself to be happy over TK bc I’m missing swiftwyn. Like it’s literally just so sad. their relationship is literally my Roman Empire lmfao
honestly i think i need to separate myself from tay but like i love her music too much and it doesn’t help that i know the lore behind all of her songs. they were just the dream couple and i soooo wish they were still together
not to be one of those “love isn’t real” bitches but like that’s how I’ve gen been feeling for the past 6 months
idk i think it’s all the fact that I don’t know these people and will never receive closure because I’ll never know what happened. but idk it just hurts me on such a deep level for some reason lmao
pls help, even if you can provide any advice or closure would be appreciated like i feel crazy and don’t know what to do lmao
Okay SO I think you've analysed it very correctly - you're mourning something that existed in your head and it's difficult to get closure on something that's not yk real. For Taylor and Joe, breaking up was the result of falling out of love (which is normal but sad). For you, you're having to break up with Swiftwyn without ever falling out of love with them because, as you rightfully point out, you don't know them and weren't involved. You loved the concept (that's all other people's relationships can ever be if we're not somehow caught up in the middle of it). You don't have to stop loving the concept. It's not that different from idk The Doctor and Rose together or Meredith and McDreamy or idk that gay Supernatural ship.
So my advice is take a deep breath and allow yourself to still like them as a ship from when they're together. Them being broken up in 2023 doesn't mean you can't imagine 2016 them when Delicate comes on (if that's what pops into your head), same as you can picture Jake and Taylor when ATW plays and same as you can rewatch episodes of your favourite ships even when the couple later breaks up or idk the show ends.
Because we're operating with the concept, not with real life.
Now here's where it gets tricky though. We are liking concepts but dealing with real people - that's where liking celeb couples gets weird. So while it's perfectly okay to listen to Delicate and imagine the dive bar or look at the potato quality pap shots of them or whatever, what's not okay is harassing them or the recurrent "DAD COME BACK" jokes (which mostly stopped now that TK is around, which goes back to how this is concept not real life). Because like... they're real people who just got over each other and that's sad and I can't imagine dealing with my own issues and having strangers "mourning" it for me or telling me who I should date next. People are mad weird.
As for "love isn't real" - well, Hollywood love isn't really. The Notebook doesn't happen irl. I mean read this interview from Goldie about Kurt. Kurt and Goldie broke up/took separations in both 2000 and 2004. Then they realised that even though they pissed each other the fuck off, they're better off staying together, and here they still are now. One day, maybe they'll take another separation and stay apart after that. Who knows!?!?! NOT THEM. So certainly not us. Love is incredible and magical but it's also going to have ups and downs and require work and compromise and if the bad starts outweighing the good then it's time to find something else.
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who in nct and p1h would LOVEEEE themselves a tall thick woman 🫣
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ASK LIKE THIS SINCE I STARTED MY PAGE OHMYGOSH YES LETS DISCUSS
nct:
johnny - gives me vibes he wouldn’t care about looks when it comes to relationships, more of a personality man
taeil - would love to cook for his significant other + wouldn’t secretly mind getting thrown around like a football, like imagine looking down into his eyes as he admires you UGH my heart <;/3
taeyong- would love being thrown around doesnt care who knows it, would definitely wrap himself around you at all times and would start arguments with ppl who were ever rude to you in any sense without hesitation
haechan - it’s haechan, of course he would. would actually eat that shit up. would show you off and have you as his lockscreen 🤷🏻
jungwoo - with him being tall, i feel like he’d have a blast with a tall partner and if they’re thick / plus sized ??? even better. he’s definitely rub your belly / sides and would keep a hand on your inner thigh as he drives or while y’all are in the backseat of a car together. would just enjoy holding you and would hype you up at everything you do.
yuta - are we surprised? no. it’s yuta nakamoto. if anything he’d eat that shit up. he’d love it. he doesn’t seem to care about looks but more so vibes of others, so ofc he wouldn’t care if you were thick / plus sized, tall, short, skinny, etc. as long as you match his vibe he’s gonna adore you regardless. would borrow your clothes from time to time, idk why i imagine that but i do. especially hoodies and shirts. would wear a shirt of yours to practice and have the goofiest smile on his face the entire time. would send selfies like “look what i got on” 💀. would secretly buy clothes that fit you better than him and wear them then gift it to you so you’d have an item of clothing that smells like him and to remember him by when he’s touring or busy with promos.
sungchan - the man is so carefree about life it seems, so looks is the last thing in his mind. if anything i feel like he’d feel himself being pulled towards you and would strike up a small conversation. would talk about you a lot and show photos, especially of y’all together. would sometimes wanna be the small spoon when cuddling and you allow him to be without any hesitation. would love resting his head on your belly and would squeeze your thighs a lot. would definitely enjoy resting his head on your shoulder as well (or attempt to if y’all are the same height). would lose his shit if anyone ever said anything negative about you in the slightest.
yangyang - this man is another that doesn’t care about anything. he’d definitely be showing you off and would buy you clothes he think you’d like. “oh you don’t like it? i’ll wear it myself then” and literally does 💀. but then would beg you to wear it so it smells like you and you’d oblige ofc bc it’s yangyang. would rest his head on your chest a lot, would either make suggestive comments about your tits or would make a joke about your heartbeat, maybe even both. would actually fight people if they were ever rude to you. loves showing you off to people, especially the members. talks you up constantly. would squish your face too but only in private when cuddling or something. definitely learns to cook your favorite foods and fails miserably but you appreciate the effort.
shotaro - i’m 50/50 on shotaro. idk if he really would or not, from my perspective at least. i’d say he’d be friends with someone like that first and then end up developing feelings. like he didn’t see it coming and was like wait what, but didn’t hesitate asking you out when the realization hit him. he wouldn’t treat you any differently i don’t think. just a laidback guy who enjoys spending as much as possible with his significant other, would definitely wanna film dance tiktoks with you. would ask you for a piggyback ride here and there bc he secretly enjoys it (although it’s not that much of a secret).
ten - this man ??? most definitely wouldn’t give a fuck what their significant other looked like. would LOVE being thrown around like a football. definitely your biggest hype man in all of existence. rests his head on your stomach / chest a lot. gives you shoulder blade kisses a lot and just genuinely enjoys your company and being with you overall. would definitely steal some of your clothes to style them on a day out. would buy y’all matching clothes as well like subtle matching clothes, nothing too extreme. just the same color scheme and small accessories and such. would love playing with your fingers, idk why but i imagine that.
kun - yes. of course. he would love it actually. kun is the type that hangs around multiple people and doesn’t mind having a diverse group of friends, so of course he wouldn’t mind at all that you both are different from each other in the sense of looks. loves how confident you are in yourself. another hype man ofc, and loves taking you to the studio with him. you come with him to the studio often, whether popping in to visit or spending hours with him while you do your own thing, so he actually started buying your favorite snacks and drinks to keep in a mini fridge for when you visit. like, he has his shelf on the mini fridge of his favorites and the other shelf as yours while the one shelf on the door has his favorite drinks and the other has yours.
hendery - i don’t really care for hendery all that much, so i’m not gonna go into detail but he strikes me as he would. a hype man and would fall for you hard.
now for piwon … 🤭
keeho - there’s no way in hell he wouldn’t want someone who’s thick and no one can change my mind. every time i’ve met that man he’s hyped me up and i’m literally fat as fuck so there’s no changing my mind. taller than him? yea he’s eating that shit up. constantly looking at you with admiration, always wanting to show you off. ofc matching fits for dates. matching pjs too. probably sanrio or pokémon themed. quick scenario: when he was in japan he bought himself a hangyodon onesie, BUT what you didn’t know is he bought you a matching sanrio character one as well. maybe a cinnamoroll, a kuromi maybe. would go off on people if need be 🤷🏻 no hesitation whatsoever. oh he’d love you for sure.
theo - yes. let’s just say i’ve seen the way he looks at certain fans and that’s why i’m saying yes 🤷🏻. would love to learn to cook your favorite dishes, whether or not he would succeed is between him and the fire alarm. would love resting his head on your belly i think, and would rub your thighs a lot. would secretly enjoy being the little spoon. loves the height difference honestly, but doesn’t show how much he secretly loves it. but you can tell with his actions and it’s honestly adorable.
jiung - this man is very carefree when it comes to life in a sense, so looks wouldn’t matter to him. would have you as his home screen instead of lockscreen because he just seems like a very private person to me when it would come to a relationship in general. but when out on dates or just together in public, he would definitely make sure to throw hints at others that y’all are together in case anyone tries hitting on you. y’all are at the grocery store looking at cereal and this person starts flirting? “hey babe, what about this cereal? oh- sorry i didn’t know you were talking to someone” and would snake an arm around your waist and pull you closer to his body. would definitely place a kiss on your shoulder in front of them just so they get an even clearer picture. once the guy gets the hint he scurries off and y’all go back to normal 🤷🏻. not much into pda, like i said he’s more private, but if he needs to do something like that he will. definitely the biggest kisser in private, would kiss your stomach a lot and just all over your body in general. loves holding you close.
intak - yupp 🤷🏻 no questions asked. would eat that shit up actually. would have you as his lock AND home screen. would constantly buy you your favorite foods, would ‘borrow’ your clothes to the point you have to go to the dorm and sneakily get them back before he notices it’s gone. loves showing you off to anyone and everyone. he could be getting his makeup done for a stage and start talking about you, pictures pulled up of y’all together and all. “aren’t we so cute? 🥹” dude literally adores you with every fiber of his being. loves rubbing your tummy and picking outfits out for you. loves clothes shopping with you. buys you clothes. idk the man would absolutely be obsessed with you but in the healthiest most puppy-dog way possible. OH and would ask for smoochies 24/7 as he stares at you with puppy eyes and a playful pout.
soul + jongseob - i’m not going into detail bc i don’t really enjoy discussing minors on my page BUT they strike me as individuals who wouldn’t mind at all like the rest of piwon !! all of piwon just seem to love the vibes of people instead of looks, so the kids being the same way makes total sense.
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Here’s the thing, I had some hope for Corey acknowledging Colby’s situation or like replying somewhere but the silence made me dislike him so much to the point that I literally have no respect nor care for him. I don’t keep up with him or anything but I didn’t mind him but seeing now that how he hasn’t even tried to say anything is horrible like how?? I would reach out to anyone be it friend or not if they got something as extreme as cancer and I can’t believe him not saying anything at all. I hate to be that person but whatever fame Corey has got its all cuz of snc as much as he would hate to admit it. I appreciate Jake being there for Colby or even trying cuz like that shows that he still cares but fuck you corey damn
this was the final nail in the coffin, for me, on any hope of liking corey. like i've never been the hugest fan of him, but i always liked him somewhat. i thought he was funny and liked him back when he was living in the trap house.
but over the years i've lost respect for him. and now i just don't like him and don't care to hear a single thing about him, tbh.
i didn't love when corey had moved out of the trap house and started that shit up when that one clip leaked from an old ass podcast snc did for the membership that was talking about the situation between devyn, elton, amanda (elton's gf at the time) and corey. when he got all uppity about that, and then made the comment of "i'm a real man, i handle shit offline" i thought… what a loser lol bc him literally tweeting that shit out proved he wasn't a "man" in his own terms bc WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT ONLINE????
the situation that happened between the four of them wasn't even that big of a deal, and as they had all mentioned, they had moved past it. so for him and then devyn to get upset about it, and yet still go over to snc's house the very next day for a party, was kinda lame and really showed they weren't actually upset. they just didn't like how that story made them look.
he was also pissed about ppl continuously bringing up that he had once said he was done with paranormal shit, aka the reason he stopped being in snc's videos. so when he started back up with the paranormal shit with elton, and then was like "when did i say that?"…… that was enough for me to be done with him completely.
then he clearly stated that he moved out bc he wanted to pursue music and dancing again, and then made like four songs and became elton's lap dog. and then stood by that same person thru-out all the shit he threw at snc for dumb, petty bs. so when all that happened, i was done even remotely thinking about him at all. no reunion, no nothing. i didn't want him around snc ever again, truly.
and now, doing this shit of not saying anything about colby and his cancer diagnosis, fuck him. you're lame and a leetch, sucking off of other ppl to get even a crumb of relevancy. and it still ain't working.
so how's that feel?
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