#i don’t know why I put it off so long
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I uh started listening to season three so here’s what I doodled listening to episode 2
#i don’t know why I put it off so long#grey shut up#grey’s art#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads s3#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#peachyville spoilers#dndads tony collette#dndads kelsey grammar#francis farnsworth#Trudy trout#sticky Rick#kamonwan farnsworth
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive#at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just#makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection.#he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up#hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess.#and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the#parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the#time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this#part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is.#he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this.#Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who#can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him#being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and#then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation.#it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody.#maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now.#spn#dean winchester#tw abuse
221 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have been a pretty dedicated marauders fan for years now but I’ve never actually read the most popular fics of the fandom (I’ve heard so much about them though, and I’ve been wanting to read them for FOREVER) so today is the day that I finally begin reading All The Young Dudes
I’ve genuinely been so so so excited to read this I’m expecting to come out the other end a brand new (and probably slightly more sad) person
eeeee I’m excited!!!
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
this was kinda the worst episode out of the entire series tbh simply because of the pacing. i liked the episode, but it was all over the place. they tried to tie in all the lose ends in 50 minutes, and that just wasn’t possible. louis being imprisoned, then released, losing his mind, recovering, AND burning down the theater and killing santiago, all in the span of like 5 minutes, the whole louis/lestat/armand scene, daniel exposing armand, loumand divorcing (that was so underwhelming, esp after 2x05, like, i needed these bitches to have a proper verbal argument, i needed them to be AT EACH OTHER’S THROATS), armand turning daniel (offscreen, cause they didn’t have time to get into all that, cause like… no way it was that simple lol there were too many devil’s minion hints throughout both seasons), louis flying to nola, reuniting with lestat (they have far too long and complex a history for it to be resolved so quickly, it would’ve been far more meaningful had it been done right), daniel publishing his book (compiling, writing, editing, publishing it AND selling 4-5 million copies must have taken a lot of time, so time jump, i guess?)… just by typing this out, it’s too much, way too much to cover in a single episode. the hectic pace left me unsatisfied and it also left a lot of room for plot holes (no more unreliable narrators now, cause the interview is done). idk i think they really should’ve split this into two episodes, at least. one of the things that i really admired about this show was the pace. in season 1, they managed to cover 3 decades in the span of only 7 episodes, while simultaneously showing us what was happening in dubai in 2022, and it never felt rushed. season 2’s pacing was still amazing and satisfying, up until this episode. idk man… i hope this doesn’t happen again, cause it really left a bitter taste in my mouth, and it was the finale, so my expectations were high.
#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#love this show it’s absolutely my favorite#and i liked the episode but it was so fucking rushed i got whiplash from it#too many plot points being resolved in such a way is bound to leave people unsatisfied#now that the excitement has dwindled down i can put this into words lol#i know loustat are the main characters i know they will get the best storylines and the most screen time OKAY.#but armand was a major character this season and i don’t like how his motivations were left unexplored#like… wasn’t the whole point of the trial to get rid of claudia so he could have louis all to himself?#but now he’s ready to let him die?#and turning daniel ‘out of spite’ when just 2 episodes ago it was established that the idea repulses him to this day?#armand is an incredibly complex and interesting character why did they dumb him down like this lmao#i’m still expecting a devil’s minion centric ep next season so all of this will get resolved#and they’re one of the most popular ships in tvc so i guess our chances are good#loustat’s reunion was rushed and kinda not rushed at the same time like… i’m glad it happened cause it was a satisfying conclusion#but fuck me they have such a long history filled with beautiful AND terrible things#and they resolved all of that in like 7 minutes? after almost 80 years? okay i guess…#but yeah… to conclude the pacing of this ep really threw me off i hope next season doesn’t have an episode like this
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Going back through all the chapter’s I’ve written, because I realized Mildew’s been a bit too quiet to be true to his Karen of a character. Wish me luck because he is EXHAUSTING-
#httyd#httyd/the deep crossover#httyd mildew#he’s a smelly old man and i don’t know why I put him in the story#wait#no actually that’s a lie i do#it was so people outside the Archipelago could see the wide range of opinions#about the dragon raids from people that lived IN the Archipelago#he’s there to serve a story-telling purpose about how everyone in the Archipelago views their war with the dragons#and how they all view dragon-killing and how they want the war to end#(he’s also there to drive people nut’s and be a verbal punching bag because no one likes him. i certainly don’t)#(also to be embarrassed during the RoB and DoB part of the story)#edit to add that I also need to fix some of Stoick’s lines. i figured out a long-term arc for him and figured out his feelings on the raids#the complex and flawed but also entirely justified and reasonable view on dragons and how they connect to his duty to his village#and now feel he might come off a little OOC or more antagonistic than I want him to be
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
accidentally made Eno obsessed with shrimp. how did we get here.
#my art#its a shitpost batman#Pirate Campaign#DnD OCs#Enososin Folook#Mei Folook-Adair#dnd owlin#there is lore with this family's naming system /jov#anyways.#is there context for this????#No!#I don’t know how I arrived here either except that baby Eno keeps inserting herself in situations in my head with shrimp ! Specifically !#so she gets the shrimp autism ! literally !#anyways the long awaited part 1 of that one drawing of eno and rollo where she's just yapping the wikipedia pages; this spawned first /jov#I also put this off for awhile bc. dear gods. eno. why did I make one of your moms a *GREAT HORNED OWL* (<- her color palette...)#also shoutout to my anxiety keeping me from dming our dm about what the Fuck is up with her parents JKHWHJ#rea rambles in the tags#rea's trash
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oopsies my hand slipped and I drew this
#FINALLY gave into the urges and drew them. sorry guys the mental illness won this time#tbf i’ve been deranged about this pairing for almost a year now i think i have a right to indulge myself after so long#GOD this is embarrassing to post. my sense of shame is too strong to be posting cringe art of my godawful ships even on here#if you hate me for drawing this don’t worry i’ll go die in a hole after posting this!!!#just kidding i’ll actually probably draw more even though i find it embarrassing#death note#death note fanart#mello#mihael keehl#soichiro yagami#soichiro x mello#mello x soichiro#soichello#<— some of you may want to filter those last three tags considering that i post about them semi regularly#if you don’t know how i’m pretty sure you just go settings —> account —> filtered tags and put in whatever tag you want to filter#chara’s art#first time drawing soichiro and i draw him at the most difficult angle possible. why did i do that to myself#i mean it’s not bad for my first attempt but he looks. thinner?? then i intended???#mello’s face looks off here but i had fun drawing him#anyways happy new years. i spent the last few days of last year and the first few hours of this year drawing this#what an amazing and productive way of spending that time#new years resolution is to go outside and touch grass#i can’t stop writing in the tags. i think it’s because i’m hesitating to post this lmao#oh my god whatever just shut up and hit post
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#brain is being weird again. i miss the person i thought you were before i found out how truly truly horrible you are#but that person doesn’t exist! i never met them because they aren’t real!#i just wanna meet my person yk. like yeah i don’t want to be in a relationship bc that sounds exhausting but also#it wouldn’t be exhausting if it was my person. i wanna know someone. i wanna learn how someone works.#i wanna take care of someone and be taken care of without asking.#and like the thing is is i definitely have my people in my friends like i already have them in this way#and i appreciate that so so much which is why i won’t settle for anything less ever again and why i’m no longer actively seeking something#but i really do just miss clicking that well with someone right off the bat. and i know most of it was probably 1) me being lied to and 2)#me trying to make myself palatable for him#but i haven’t felt that truly blatantly appreciated in a long time#i just wish that fate would work a little faster at putting my person into my lap is all#i’m not even gonna say that it doesn’t have to be The Person i’ll end up with and can just be One Of the people along the way#because now that feels like settling and if the universe doesn’t want me to settle then i won’t#and i’m not trying to be impatient because i know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to and i can’t force anything#i just want it to happen so badly. i want to have my cute love story. i want to have it last longer than a week. in a good way this time.#and i know i vent a lot about this in my tags but this time feels different#i just want what is supposed to happen to happen. and i want to feel comforted knowing that it will.#i just need a sign that it’s gonna happen someday so i don’t lose my mind waiting for it#that i’m in the right place. and i’m right where i’m supposed to be#idk. i just know i don’t deserve to feel alone anymore. especially when i know i’m not.#this feels like a prayer. maybe it is. whatever.#mari is irrelevant
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when the dissociation causes memory loss: *surprised Pikachu*
#blue chatter#listen. LISTEN. usually when I dissociate I remember a LITTLE bit#like. I am distant from my body and I feel fuzzy and lose time rly easily#but there’s lil hook events that will pull me a little closer and I’ll remember like. impressions of them. before I can move/react to them.#USUALLY this means I’ll remember receiving ice from my roommate as a grounding tool even if I don’t ’snap out of it’#but APPARENTLY yesterday my brain was on the dissociation train for TOO LONG#bc not only did I forget that one of my roommates went upstairs until well after he’d left#but apparently my roommate gave me ice. and I held it. and put it in my mouth. and I don’t remember that AT ALL.#like. not even a sense of when that happened or what else must have been going on that I forgot#I don’t know where that blank spot is in the timeline of ‘spaced the fuck out’#which. again. happened for OVER THREE HOURS off and on.#I know that we were watching Bob’s Burgers and that my roommate told me that I missed a full episode all in a row#but I don’t know which episode#because I don’t fully remember *any* of them#bc I was in and out all night#*screams*#why can’t my brain be normal!#I know what triggered this most likely. I had therapy yesterday and I have an exam today that I’m really nervous about#and I did homework for three hours yesterday after therapy so I didn’t have a long rest period afterwards like I usually do#*flops on the ground* when will my brain return from the war for good…#this better not fucking happen on Friday I have to drive places
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#little rant sorry guys 🙏🙏🙏 (I lied it’s a very long rant) you’ve been warned ⛔️⚠️⚠️⚠️xx#I’m mad at everyone but mostly myself because I know it’s my fault#it’s just the fact that I’m annoying. It’s why everyone treats me this way#and some of them I don’t even think they notice the way they treat me. Because I’m such a second thought to them#and even people who are supposed to be my “best friends” don’t give a shit about me half the time#more than half actually#and it just makes me sooo ughhhhhhgg#cause what am I even living for at this point#and it just pisses me off. And at the end of the day I get treated like shit and blame on it myself and still love them#I just want to be wanted. And like actually wanted not fake wanted.#I want to be thought of I want to be invited I wanna get told that someone loves me#I want to not fear that I’ll be completely forgotten (already am)#I want to be a first option. I want to be loved. I want someone to return the effort I put into every fucking relationship#because I actually get nothing in return. In fact I get the opposite in return I get to be treated like I don’t exist by the people I love#just. what the fuck. I hate life#and I hate myself so fucking much ughhh#okay sorry if you read that whole thing mwah 🙏❤️
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
if there was a torchwood/spn crossover, jack would get shot in the head so much. i know he already dies a lot, but he’s going to die so many times during this crossover. keeps getting bullets unloaded into him. they stab him with silver and steel and copper and none of it keeps him down. he’s gonna get squirted with borax and that one’s not gonna kill him but it is going to ruin his coat, which is materially worse for him.
#also gwen cooper would wrestle dean to the ground and beat him half to death#ianto is going to get himself possessed. im not saying he doesn’t take every precaution he knows how to against it. im saying he does and it#doesnt work <3#i think sam and tosh could be friends :) (<- actually means they’re just both stuck in ‘make this conversation go as smoothly as i can by#masking so fucking hard. so that i can leave sooner’ mode.)#and i think owen would kiss dean on the mouth because it would make him so uncomfortable and owen can and will use his ability to be an#asshole without regret for the good of the team. especially if this moment is directly a result of like. Dean hitting on Tosh while she’s#clearly not into it. Owen is going to kiss that man at the risk of getting shot just like jack has 17 times in a row just so that he’ll#fuck off and leave tosh alone. and this will work because dean winchester will immediately malfunction upon being kissed by a man because#now he doesn’t know whether to direct his homophobic impulses at owen (<- unaffected by anything he could say.) or himself (<- guy who#believes being gay works like cooties.)#and in the background you can see jack sort of gently put his hand over toshiko’s and she releases a pen she was holding onto very tightly#and this is the part where you realize Oh She Was Going To Stab Dean In The Knee With That If He Didn’t Stop.#i also think Jack should get to kiss Crowley. i think they’d both be into it and it’d be funny. i think they should reference that they’ve#been off-and-on lovers for years actually. (gwen: you’ve been sleeping??? with the king of hell???? || Jack: see i don’t know why this is#surprising to you.) (ianto has been standing there with his mouth slightly open for a full minute. long enough for crowley to comment on it#and for owen to jokingly try to shut it for him. (cue short impromptu slap fight as ianto bats his hands away and then owen gets too into#defending the honor of his poor slapped away hands.) but anyway. <3 ianto you’re into guys you really need to come to terms with this at#some point sir. jack is *not* your exception this is an all day job.)
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tattoo appointment is set! Justice cross tattoo is happening in a few weeks from now!
#I’ve been literally waiting for years to get this#I don’t know why I put it off for so long but o had a moment a few weeks ago of “you know what? I’ve put it off for too long -#I need to get the tattoo now it’s been years’#I’m so excited! the artist does amzing line work so the tattoo is going to look so good when it’s done#justice band
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry for saying I was going to do things and even starting them and then disappearing from this website entirely for three days. It will happen again
#Nothing new. Tbf I’ve done this a lot#I would say I’m focusing more on school and my personal writing but that’s more of a fucking lie than full truth#I genuinely have felt sick to my stomach posting here for whatever reason#Guilt shame anxiety paranoia etc etc you get the point. I feel like shit with no valid reason as to why#So for now I’m going to stop doing the thing that makes me overly emotionally sick to the point I have actual physical reactions????#Yeah that’s the logical course of action. Might post small personal anecdotes and doodles and such to give off the vague energy that Im fin#But beyond that I quite literally can’t. I sat down and thought about writing this post and immediately broke down#I don’t know why I feel guilty over having inconsistent motivation for putting up shitty writing on a website for strangers to see#But I do and k think the only good way to get past that is this. Gotta stop acting Impulsively it’s ruining my fucking life man#There’s only one other thing that I’ll thank Eloise for#and it’s for getting me off of tumblr long enough to realize that I desperately need to get help#This is fucked I fucking hate it. I might be online if k can bare the possibility that people can see this#Namely people I’ve grown attached to in concept#Idfc at this point. it doesn’t change much about how things have been going for the past year#Vent#S.K explains that things never really got better they would just suck less for short periods of time
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Half-Life: Blue Shift if Barney commentated it and also he talked like Spamton G. Spamton
Part 3! (The Final Part)
Part 2 / Part 1
#sorry it took me well over a year to post this last part#I don’t know why I put it off for so long#I’ve had the screenshots I just had to post them#barney calhoun#half-life#half-life: blue shift#hl1#barney c. barney#<- new name for this spamton barney au#newmann server hijinks
10 notes
·
View notes