#i can’t stop writing in the tags. i think it’s because i’m hesitating to post this lmao

[soulfullives]

marauders era unpopular opinions, once more

i really don’t like fanon regulus. i don’t like him being helpless and kind and a sirius variant. he’s morally grey, leaning towards morally dark, he’s selfish, he agreed to his parents’ and voldemort’s ideologies, having joined the death eaters most likely by his own will (unlike draco malfoy). but obviously, everyone is allowed to characterise characters the very way they want to

and while we’re on it, i don’t like evan and barty either, for the same reason. maybe i would, if they were realistically characterised (i LOVE reading morally grey or morally dark(er) characters), and once again, i believe that just because one likes a character, that doesn’t always mean that the character is a good person

and continuing on the same topic, the sunshine james potter, although being a topic that i like and delved deeper into myself, is nice, but i would also love to see more of arrogant, spoiled james potter, too

not liking severus snape and peter pettigrew but liking evan, barty and regulus is kind of hypocritical

i don’t like jegulus

i also don’t like the casanova, bad boy characterisation of remus, and the helpless, needy characterisation of sirius either. to me, they’re out of character, overly done and absolutely not enjoyable

and because i earlier mentioned severus snape, i think he’s an interesting character, actually. that doesn’t make him a good person (once again, i believe him to be morally grey, too) and i can’t call myself a lover of his, however i find his story and character very interesting and compelling

i don’t like a lot of the wolfstar dynamics in current fandom

“we need more content about the girls!” literally do it yourself. please. whenever i write content about the men, i get a wave of new followers, and whenever i post about the non-men, suddenly i have tebs of people unfollowing me. oh, and my posts about the men have twice or thrice the notes of the other ones

sirius > regulus

and speaking of which, sirius is such an interesting character, and he was reduced by many people to nothing, or whatever is relevant to the plot

james would pick sirius over regulus any time, with literally no hesitation

i don’t care about popular fics (read or don’t read, i generally don’t read popular fics to be honest), however i do care about the way creators, especially writers, are treated in this fandom. i made a few posts about this topic, feel free to ask me to link them to you, but the way some people feel entitled to fic and fandom content is horrible

“x is the female version of— !” please stop. i’m going to stop you right here.

stop tagging jegulus and wolfstar and other mlm ships with wlw and nmlnm tags, for god’s sake. you’re just clogging the tag, and if i came looking for a certain ship, that’s what i’m going to expect to find. besides, why would you tag jegulus with, say, pandalily, when jegulus is by far more popular?

jegulus < jily

[irisintheafterglow]

No Prey, No Pay (opla!zoro x you)

summary: after steering him to a successful bounty, zoro can't stop thinking about you. he decides to do something about it. (Part 2 to Parley)

wc: 1.67k

cw/tags: domestic zoro crumbs, idiots in love but they don't know how to express it, canon-typical violence, zoro is so himbo i love him

note: thank you for all the love on my first two zoro posts!!!! i'm so so so happy y'all liked them; this is one of the first times in a while i've actually been super giddy writing a character. i really hope he's not too ooc, i tried to keep his himbo-ness intact. hope you enjoy!!!

likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated <3

“Here to try killing me again?”

“Oh,” is all he can sputter out, frozen on the doorstep of the Lady’s manor. The stout, shriveled old woman before him was not who he was looking for. To make matters worse, the flower he’d picked from the hillside on his way up the driveway suddenly seemed like a gargantuan beanstock in his fingers. His face was warming but, for the life of him, he could not figure out why. “You’re not–”

“Nope. They’re in the Farmers’ Market,” she deadpans without hesitation, eyeing him with all the amusement of a PhD candidate reading a children’s book. “The Farmers’ Market I created, by the way.” 

“Right,” he replies shortly, turning abruptly on his heel and letting his eyes widen in pure horror when she can’t see his face. He tosses the flower into a nearby planter, well aware that she can still see his every move. After several misguided attempts to navigate back to your isolated piece of land in the East Blue, he approached the ornately decorated door with a little more excitement than he expected. Having the Lady whom he’d tried to kill a few weeks prior be the one to open the door was another funny twist of irony that caused him an odd feeling of embarrassment, like he’d dropped you off after a date ten minutes past your curfew. “Thank you for your time.” 

“Tell me, pirate hunter,” she called to his back patronizingly. “Why grace us again with your oh-so-menacing presence?” 

“I’m wondering the exact same thing,” he mutters, irritated at his failed attempt to find you on the first try. 

“When you find them, tell them to pick up more sweet potatoes. I thought we had enough for dinner, but we could use a few more now that you’re here,” the Lady instructs him and her words take a few seconds to register in his mind. But, by the time he’s turned around to ask her what she meant, the door is already shut and he’s too proud to knock again. 

As if the mortification on your porch wasn’t enough, it’s nearly impossible to find you in the milling swarms of people in town. The people part naturally for him as he passes, sneaking anxious glances at the three swords on his hip. Whispers of his occupation and intentions float around his ears but he pays them no mind, determined to spot you. Again, he wasn’t sure what he was doing there in the first place; but, no matter what anyone else said, he did know one thing. By some unexpected turn of Fate, he missed you. 

“Shopping for produce while you hunt? I didn’t know you could multitask.” The teasing lilt of your voice appears behind him and he can’t help smirking. You’d found him before he found you, even though it was his job to find people. “Word to the wise: the vendors will upcharge you because they know you’re not from the island.” 

“What if you’re there with me?” When he finally turns to face you, his eyes flick to the canvas bag slung over your shoulder. It’s stuffed with fruits and vegetables, along with a jar of honey from the beekeeper just up the road from your house. 

“They’ll upcharge you more and insist you pay for my stuff,” you reply nonchalantly. “Now that I think of it, maybe we should walk around together.” You brush past him and re-enter the bustling square like he was the last thing on your mind, when really he was the only thing for the past week. You’re certain he’d follow behind you and your theory is confirmed when his voice comes from over your right shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

“You’re wearing the bracelet,” he observes, easily slipping into place next to you as if it was natural to be by your side. With the sword-clad bounty hunter next to you, it was much easier to navigate the market without bumping every resident of the island. 

“Mhmm, I told you I liked it,” you say absentmindedly, stopping at a stand and picking up a vibrantly colored fruit from the stack. Observing it for bruises and finding none, you signal the seller that you’d like to buy the piece in your hand. His farm-worn hand stretches out to you and you fish around in your bag briefly for coins. But, before you can place the money in his hand, Zoro’s fingers are already dropping an unnecessarily large quantity into the shocked farmer’s palm. You gape at him and his unchangingly blank expression, shaking your head in disbelief when he glances at you, eyes shining arrogantly. “Where’d you get all that money and why did you do that?” 

“Bounties,” he answers plainly, “and ‘cause I wanted to. Next stand?” You’re still slightly frozen from pure surprise, but he shrugs carefreely and tilts his head toward the rest of the vendors.

“Feel like enlightening me on why you’re here again?” It’s the fourth or fifth stand he’s accompanied you to and, at this point, you were just window-shopping. Since he joined you on your errand, you hadn’t spent any more money; before you could pay any of the sellers, they were already thanking you profusely for your generosity with a pile of shining coins in their hands. Zoro proved to be a very patient companion, respectfully giving his opinions on which piece of produce looked bigger or more appetizing. With most of the required items on your shopping list successfully in your bag, you find yourself drifting over to the stalls of mundane things like pretty flowers and colorful crystals. 

“There’s a Marine defector turned intelligence smuggler hiding somewhere in the area. Thought I’d knock out two birds with one stone.” You turn over a piece of aventurine in your fingers, admiring it from different angles in the sunlight. Your breath hitches slightly when Zoro’s face dips down next to yours, watching the crystal from the same angle. 

“What’s the other bird?” You glance at him from the corner of your eye. 

“Visiting you,” he replies without hesitation, plucking the crystal from your fingers and tossing more coins at the vendor. You don’t stop the laugh that escapes your mouth and you swear his smirk gets more self-assured as he drops the rock into your bag. At a point when you aren’t looking, he swings your bag onto a broad shoulder as easily as if it was a piece of paper. “Also, we need sweet potatoes.” Your eyebrows raise in amusement at his slip. 

“We?” You have to fight down another giggle when his face becomes slightly pinker, imperceptible if you weren’t already staring at him. “Since when were we anything?”

“Your boss said she needed more sweet potatoes. Don’t shoot the messenger.” 

“I wasn’t aware that you went to go see her.”

“I wasn’t either, and then she opened the door instead of you,” he admits and you chuckle at his expression of distaste. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have–get behind me.” Before he can finish his thought, his arm shoots out in front of you, effectively halting you a split second before a knife darts across your vision, embedding itself into the wooden post next to you. The surrounding market-goers break into chaotic panic and you have no choice but to press your back against Zoro’s to prevent getting swept away. Emerging from the crowd, a lethal-looking group of fighters encircle you two and your hand finds the hilt of your saber. 

“Pirates?”

“No. Bounty hunters.”

“Friends of yours?” You eye the group warily as the marketplace empties, people running into the nearest building they could find to spectate the upcoming battle. 

“I’d call them ‘occupational competition’ on a good day.”

“Ah, great,” you huff sarcastically. “What’d you do to piss them off?”

“Exist,” he deadpans and you hum in assent. 

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” you mutter and you start to pull your blade from its sheath, anticipating the fight ahead of you.

“Don’t.” The single word halts your movements and your stomach drops in fear of what he’s sensing.

“What?”

“Let me handle this,” he says in a low tone that makes your skin break into goosebumps. “Can you hold the bag while I deal with them?”

“You sure?”

“Yep. This won’t take long,” he says irritatedly, scowling at the rival hunters that interrupted his day.

“Alright. I’m gonna go get sweet potatoes, then.”

“Third one down on the left. I’ll meet you over there,” he promises before moving faster than you can comprehend, whirling and downing the two attackers in front of you without even drawing his swords. They howl in pain when you stab your blade into their feet for good measure before leisurely making your way further down the street. As you walk, Zoro clears the path for you, mercilessly incapacitating every enemy with ease. By the time you find the sweet potato stall, there’s only one persistent fighter still giving the swordsman problems. You don’t feel any ounce of fear, however, as you pick through the salvageable gourds while the clashing of swords rings out behind you. Eventually, the street quiets and Zoro returns to your side as if nothing happened at all. “Good?”

“I’m fine,” you say truthfully, running your thumb over the bruise of an otherwise good potato. “You think this one’s still okay?” After peering at it and deeming it safe, he nods.  

“Yeah, it should be fine. If anything, you can just cut off the ugly spot.” There’s a splattering of red just under his eye when you meet his gaze. Your fingers unconsciously come up to wipe the speck of blood from his cheek and his skin feels just as electric as the first time you touched him. 

“Cool. I’m done shopping then, so we can go back home.”

“We?”

“You’re staying for dinner. It isn’t a request,” you command lightheartedly and smile when his steps fall into line next to yours. 

“Mmm, I can’t wait.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[stars-and-inkpots]

Greetings, I'm hoping you're having a great day and or night😊 I love your writing, you're talented! If your requests are still open, can I request Tav (female please) being insecure that she doesn't live up to Gales standards because he was with Mystra? Tav just tells him "I'm in love with you, but I'm nothing. I'm no Goddess" I love my romance with some angst🥲❤️

I finally have a little time this week to write!! I loved this request, thank you so much. I actually had two versions of this planned out, one where you aren't yet together (this one), and another set in post game when the two of you are together in Waterdeep (I might finish this version and post it at some point too) ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy!

With You | Gale x Reader

You were nothing when compared to a god, and Gale certainly wasn’t blind to that. 

So you keep yourself at a distance. You convince yourself that this is for the best. 

Of course, Gale notices.

Pairing: Gale/Reader

Tags: Love confessions, hurt/comfort, fluff and angst, first kiss, comfort, self-esteem issues, low self-worth issues

Ao3 Link: Baldur's Gate 3 Requests

Word Count: 1,037

Realising you had developed feelings for Gale was a complicated discovery on its own. Knowing that Gale’s previous partner had been none other than a literal goddess complicated it even further. 

The two of you had grown close, and both of you would be fools to not admit that there was something between the two of you. But you hesitated everytime the opportunity to take things any further than friendship arose. Not because you didn’t want to, no; Gods, you wanted to so badly. But it was exactly because of Mystra that you hesitated. 

Gale had been with a goddess before. A goddess. And you were just… well, you were just you. You were mortal, and you could never hope to possibly compare to the divine. And what if he was just settling for you? Was he simply lowering his standards? What if Mystra, for whatever reason, decided to return to her affections for Gale? Would he, despite everything that She had done, go back to Her? You were nothing when compared to a god, and Gale certainly wasn’t blind to that. 

So you keep yourself at a distance. You convince yourself that this is for the best. 

Of course, Gale notices. 

Not immediately at first, but after a few days of you barely speaking to him, he can’t help but worry he’s done something wrong. There are no more late night talks by the fire; no walking just a little too close to be simply friendly during the day; no stolen glances. Nothing. Where there was once undeniably something, there is nothing. He curses himself for not saying anything sooner, for hesitating. 

At first, he wants to assume it’s because you suddenly realised that he’s dangerous, that he’s volatile. Then he worries that you’ve realised he’s just not as impressive as you thought he was. Maybe his skill no longer impresses you, and if he doesn’t have that then what else is there? The thought that you look at him and see only what he thinks he is, a pathetic shadow of a man who once was. 

Maybe it’s desperate on his end, but he’s not willing to just let this go. As much as he’s ready to wallow in self-pity, he needs to know. He can change, if that’s what you want. 

---

“I want to talk to you, if you have a moment,” Gale says before you can duck into your tent for the night. 

“Alright,” you relent. “Let’s go for a walk then.” You lead the two of you out of camp, and Gale follows beside you. You can’t shake the anxious feeling that only grows with the silence between you two. Once you’re far enough away, Gale speaks up. 

“I’m going to be perfectly transparent here; and if I’ve misread anything, do stop me before I embarrass myself too much.” Gale takes a breath, as if he’s already waiting for you to object. When you remain silent, he continues. “You mean a great deal to me, and I care about you a lot. In all honesty, I have feelings for you, very strong feelings. Now, a few days ago I had thought that you returned and shared my affections. But you’ve been quite different with me as of late. I know I am not owed an explanation or an answer, but I will still ask for one all the same.” 

You freeze. Even though you knew this conversation would come eventually, you don’t know what to say. He’s here. He’s here and he just admitted that he felt the same way as you did, and yet you can’t bring yourself to answer. 

“I just want to know if it was something I did. Did something change? As I said, you don’t have to answer, of course, I just… what happened to make you change your mind?” You can hear the nervous self-consciousness in his words, but it confuses you. How could he ever think it was something that he did when he had been with a goddess? How could he want you? 

“No, nothing changed. It was nothing that you did. I promise.” You sit down, and Gale follows, sitting beside you. 

“Then why have you been so cold with me? It isn’t fair to tell me I did nothing wrong when you go from spending so much time with me to barely even looking at me, let alone speaking to me.” He sounds frustrated, and you don’t exactly blame him. It was cruel of you to treat him so differently without an explanation. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally bring yourself to look over at him. Even through his slight annoyance with your behaviour, there is hurt. “You deserve better than me,” you say finally. You watch his expression change to one of confusion. “You shouldn’t lower your standards for me.” 

“What?” For once, you seem to have rendered him nearly speechless. 

“Gale, I’m in love with you, but I’m nothing. I’m no goddess.” 

A sudden understanding crosses his face. 

“Yes, you are. You most certainly are.” He takes your hand in his. “And you are more than I deserve, I assure you. If you truly wish to remain no more than friends, then so be it; but if those worries were all that were holding you back, I assure you you need not entertain them any further.” Every word sounds so completely genuine. 

“Are you sure?” You ask, despite yourself. 

“Completely.” He lifts your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles. The act and the way he looks at you is enough to push your worries aside for now. You can tell he means everything he says. 

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, in a rush of newfound confidence. 

“I would like nothing more.” 

The hand not holding yours rests against your face, thumb brushing along your cheek. You brush your fingers through his hair, and you feel him shiver. It’s a soft kiss, the beginning of things. When you part he rests his forehead against yours and both of you are smiling. 

The walk back to camp is quiet, but comfortable. Gale doesn’t let go of your hand until you kiss once more and retire for the night to your tents.

[clockwork-ashes]

All You Have Is Your Fire - Part III

Find Part I here :)

Summary: 'I can hear your heart beating through the stone.' For the briefest of moments, Lucien wondered if his mate would know exactly when his heart’s steady rhythm came to a sudden stop.

Note: A huge, huge thank you to the lovely @bettdraws who literally deserves all the credit and whose post inspired me to start writing this. I could not stop thinking about this head canon, and it was so kind of you to let me try and make a story from it :)

Tag List: @anishake

Part IV >>

The smell of copper, bitter and sharp, lingered in the air. 

It took Elain a moment to realise that it was blood, and it took her even longer to realise that it was her own. She released a shaky breath, loosening her clenched fists. Her nails had cut into the skin of her palms, perfect crescent moons, already healing.

The suite was poorly lit, as the whole of the Hewn City seemed to be, but in the dim faelight, Elain could just barely see her blood. Her brown eyes tracked the scarlet drops as they left small trails along the inside of her hands. 

Elain frowned as she watched the skin on her palms knit back together, her pain muted, unnatural when compared to her human aches and injuries. Elain was still in the Night Court, and already she was feeling incapable, useless. 

Eris had been very clear in his assertion that no other member from the Night Court would be allowed to join her, certainly neither one of the Archeron sisters. It had been enough for Elain to reconsider leaving with the Autumn prince, but she had not voiced her doubts out loud. 

“You can just as easily change your mind,” Azriel said gently. “No one would think any less of you for it.” His wings were tucked close to his body, making him smaller, less threatening. Concern was evident in the pull of his brows and in the tension of his shoulders. 

Azriel’s words were meant to be a comfort, Elain was sure, but the suggestion was enough to annoy her. She flashed him a friendly smile, her response simple. “I know.” Elain could tell that it was what he wanted to hear, that Azriel wouldn’t push her to further explain. 

“Why are you pacing?” Nesta asked from the Illyrian’s side. The tone of her voice was somewhat reproving, like she was catching her younger sister in a lie.  

Elain froze, pausing her movements. She hadn’t even realised she’d been walking in a constant back-and-forth. She straightened the fabric of her gown, settled her nerves. “I’m not pacing,” she argued. 

“I don’t understand why all of this can’t just be resolved with a letter,” Nesta snapped, her arms crossed, not convinced by Elain’s reassurances. She was in her fighting leathers, Ataraxia at her back. Elain knew Nesta wouldn’t hesitate to use the sword on Eris if he provoked her. Nesta had been the one to help Elain pack for the trip, and then she had insisted on waiting with Elain in the Hewn City until Rhysand and Eris arranged her departure. 

Elain turned to face her eldest sister,  “Probably because it’s all very complicated.”

“I think it’s very simple,” Nesta’s words were sharp as a knife’s blade. “Lucien is our emissary, Autumn has no claim to him.” 

“Blood means nothing to you, Nesta?” Azriel asked. Elain could hear the ghost of amusement in his voice. 

Nesta responded, but Elain missed it, her whirling thoughts a storm within her mind. Elain knew she owed Lucien nothing, that no one expected her to uproot her life in Velaris and run to his side, but she had become tired of all the bloodshed. The war had drained her, she told herself, she couldn’t bear another death, another loss. 

What did it matter that Lucien was her mate, Elain had declared as she and Nesta packed away her most beautiful dresses, she would do the same for anyone. She was worried, of course, but only in the sense that Lucien was Feyre’s friend. Feyre had hugged her tightly back home, close to tears. Elain knew her sister was grateful, but she wished Feyre would have come to the Hewn City to see her off.

Elain breathed a sigh, her shoulders raising in a shrug. She was about to respond to Nesta, to once again try and persuade her sister that she knew what she was doing, to have Azriel understand that she was confident in the choices she was making. Elain was growing tired of the constant coddling, how everyone in her family just assumed they knew what was best for her. 

A spark of anger, resentful, came to life inside her, and Elain was glad the doors to the suite opened and Rhysand entered. He had been the only one who hadn’t questioned her decision, who had understood Elain’s resolve from the start. It had come as a surprise to Elain, but she was grateful for whatever support her sister’s mate offered.   

Rhysand, though, had not come alone. Walking a few careful paces behind him was a woman, dressed in Night Court black. Elain took in her simple and modest attire, and she raised a brow in question. 

The woman didn’t respond, her dark eyes flashed to Nesta and Azriel before she clenched her jaw and stared straight ahead. 

Elain would have spoken to her if Rhys hadn’t captured her attention instead. “You’re ready?” 

As soon as the sun’s last rays disappear behind the horizon, I’ll return for you. 

Eris’s last words to Elain rang clear in her head. She glanced to the window, to the quickly setting sun as the sky turned a deep violet, a pink hue still visible behind the mountain range cutting across the territory. 

Elain placed her hands in front of her, fingers laced so that no one could spot the nervous tremors. She nodded once in understanding, “I am.” Her voice was firm, convincingly unafraid. 

Elain wondered if Rhysand was looking into her mind, searching for answers that she would never freely give. She snapped out of her thoughts when Rhysand spoke to her once more. “Allow me, Elain, to introduce you to your lady’s maid,” he gestured to her with his hand, “Cora will be with you for as long as you’re in Autumn.” 

The woman, Cora, didn’t even bother looking at her. Elain questioned if it was because she had not wanted to join her, or if it was because that was to be expected of the woman’s position as a lady’s maid. Elain knew very little, still, about Prythian and its people, but she could have sworn that the woman was Illyrian. If not for her lack of wings and sharp ears, Elain would have bet on it. Her beauty was shocking, enough to give Elain pause so that she could admire the other woman. 

Her focus once more entirely on the High Lord of Night, Elain could feel as her back tensed, unsettled by the obvious disregard for her opinion on the matter. “I thought maybe one of the twins—”

Azriel interrupted Elain in the middle of her sentence, his words suggesting the decision was final. “Nuala and Cerridwen are needed here.”

Elain hadn’t even gotten the chance to say goodbye, and while she was irritated, she chose to respond in a pleasant voice. “Then tell them both that when I’m back in the city, I’ll be expecting them to pay a visit to the River House.” 

Azriel offered her a small, genuine smile in return. His expression was quick to turn serious, though, as his shadows whirled from their hiding spots to his shoulders. 

It was then that Elain glanced at the arched windows on the room’s opposite end. The sun had finally set and stars now seemed to wink at her in the distance. Elain faced the doors, expecting them to open, but she gasped in surprise as Eris neglected to use them. 

The heir to the Autumn Court stepped into the room as though he were entering into the small space from a rip in the fabric of the universe. The flames in the fireplace flared at his presence, whether he had done so on purpose was unclear to Elain, but he definitely seemed like the type.  

“Not a moment past the agreed time,” Rhysand drawled 

“I’m nothing if not punctual,” Eris barely looked at the High Lord in front of him, choosing to bow slightly at the waist in Nesta’s direction. “Lady Death,” he greeted. 

Nesta merely glowered, her eyes flashing silver. 

Eris did not seem afraid, but rather impressed at the swirling flames in Nesta’s gaze. He was quick to turn his attention to Elain. “Last chance to change your mind.” A dare, like he was expecting her to be inconstant, unreliable.  

Elain could see why Azriel disliked Eris so much. She looked straight at him, “My mind won’t be changing.” 

Eris flashed her a grin, “Good.” 

“You can winnow more than one with you to Autumn?” Rhysand asked, and Elain nearly sighed in relief when embers came to life in Eris’s observant eyes and he paid her no mind. 

“Why?” Eris questioned, so much distaste in that one, simple word. 

“Elain will be needing a lady’s maid,” Azriel bit out. 

Eris hummed in response, facing Elain once more. “You’re bringing a friend?” 

“Will that be a problem?” Elain lifted her chin, ready to argue on Cora’s behalf. The woman took a few small steps closer, her black skirts brushing Elain’s light blue ones, as though she too was ready to make her case. 

Eris frowned, “My father won’t like it.” 

“You can’t expect me to go alone,” Elain snapped, not bothering with upholding pretences any longer. 

Eris raised his auburn brows, amused. He took a moment to inspect Cora, seeming to examine every inch of her. His eyes trailed assessingly from the fabric of Cora’s dress pooled along the marble floor to the elegant braid of her dark hair twisted in a crown. “At least she’s nice to look at,” Eris finally commented, a dismissal. 

Elain knew it was an understatement, that Cora was lovely, but now that Elain had gotten what she wanted, she kept her mouth shut.   

Cora scowled, but she did not utter a word either. Elain gave her a look that she hoped suggested that they were now in this together. 

Elain watched as Eris raised his hand, beckoning the two of them closer. Elain’s eyes flicked to his palm as she raised her own hand tentatively. 

Eris’s nostrils flared with his next breath, flames flaring in his eyes. Elain wondered if he could smell the dried blood on her palms, whether he would remark on it, but he remained silent. 

Elain’s hand shook as she placed it in Eris’s much larger one, and quick like the harsh strike of lightning, her world went dark.

[amethystfairy1]

I rewrote my novel. Admittedly I deleted it because it felt like it was me ranting and you wouldn’t enjoy it, but it made me feel good that you wanted to read a random person’s analysis.

To get out of the way first is the potential wild card invisible stalker. I saw some people speculating it was Mumbo because that seems like a rogue ability, but there’s no reason for him to have been stalking this group he barely knows instead of be with his own. I think it’s a new character, which you didn’t tag either for spoilers or because they don’t truly appear in this story. The latter is my guess, and their purpose is to be another thing hanging over Gem’s group as they go into the fight. As to who they are, because of that recent post on spoilers and the ninja thing, I’m going to guess Etho. The “why” for whoever it is is “to be revealed” information.

Next, the bird reunion. Based on that summary, they have to fight and it’ll definitely be intense. My guess is either during the pre-fight banter between the others or when they first come in contact and a failed sneak attack, the twins will recognize each other, hesitate, but go into the fight anyway because that’s what their friends/masters want. Major cognitive dissonance. I predicted one would get the upper hand and almost, but not quite, finish the other, but more specifically I think Grian will beat Pearl because she’s still injured. If I was writing it, he’d notice the injury, target it because that’s what a good killer does, and simultaneously hate himself for it. And then more delicious angst because a good avian would finish her off, but he can’t do it.

Meanwhile, I think Gem would be fighting the other two. She says in the first chapter that she’s low on magic, but she’s scary enough without the spirits. If I had to guess, I’d say she could normally solo everyone in the other group (not without difficulty, but would win in the end), but it would be the combination that could get her. Scar is also running low on magic, but we don’t know how the two compare. I don’t think we’ve seen Scar fight without magic either, so he could quickly empty his reserves. Mumbo is a very scary opponent and has the element of surprise, but I’m not sure how he’d stack up in a brawl. Judging by that summary of him nearly dying, I’m not optimistic. Scar has previously detected enemies with the spirits, but it’d be interesting to see if another nature elf can go undetected with their own magic. Then it’d be up to Grian to notice them when they’re pretty close, if he’s in a state of mind to do so effectively.

Speaking of state of mind, that was just them physically. Mentally no one is doing well. Mumbo and Scar are worried about Grian and are probably mulling over the target they painted on their backs. Gem is stressed out about the stalker, always worried about Pearl, and her guilt and frustration are turning to rage. That could all cloud her fighting abilities, but so could that empathy she’s trying to shut down. Recognizing Mumbo could give her pause, as could seeing Pearl in Grian and herself in the other boys. A vision just came to me of Grian using his wings to protect one of them from Gem and that causing her to stop. I could also see her stopping if she thought Pearl was about to die again. Both sides would stop if one of the avians admitted they’re siblings, but I can’t see them forcing that information out in the middle of a fight. I think the fight will end with one side recognizing themselves in the other and choosing not to continue. Then we can get a more wholesome birb reconnecting.

The thing I’m less sure about is Impulse and Skizz. I don’t quite know if they’d even participate in the fight or how that would go. I can easily see Impulse deciding not to participate because it’s not his job and he wants to protect Skizz, or him going with the group and being worried about Pearl with this job. If they do participate, that weighs things more in the favor of the Soup Group. From what we’ve seen, Impulse is strong and can tear through normal adventurers. Of course the boys are much stronger, but I’d expect him to hold his own. Skizz is a little more tricky. If he fully fights, I’d expect he’d be a beast. He was nearly retained, so he had serious skills, the only concern would be how much fighting he’s done since being sold. Granted, that didn’t seem to hold Grian back. I doubt Skizz’s heart would be in this fight though, and he’d be looking more to see if Impulse will die or if he can kill him. That won’t happen of course. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if a moment comes and Skizz either saves Impulse or doesn’t take the kill, and later has to ask himself why.

So, yeah. That’s my thoughts on what I think is being set up for this story. You don’t have to respond to this. Now I know that even if you don’t, you still enjoyed it. I look forward to seeing if I’m right or be proven wrong. Doubt I’ll be disappointed either way.

I

LOVED

THIS

SO MUCH

RAHHHHHHH

This is so so so so sooooo cool!?

Obviously I'm not gonna super in-depth respond to any of your predictions because I don't wanna give any tells because spoilers but I need you to know that I LOVED THIS.

I WAS BEAMING THE ENTIRE TIME I READ IT

It just makes me SO happy that my stories have the moving parts that make someone able to think it through and come up with theories about what's gonna happen, and that you enjoy the story enough to do so just makes me so very glad! Thank you so much for retyping your novel because I ADORED IT and I will be saving it and I love it very very very much!!!

I'm so glad you're looking forward to this fic, I have so much planned and lots is gonna happen, I'm just SO excited to share it all and it's so wonderful to see everyone is trying to figure out what's gonna go down!

Thank you thank you thank you for sharing!!! 💖💖💖

[theraggedygirl11]

Baš ja, koji nisam verovao da za nekim biću lud

Bojan's POV

Kris' POV: AO3 - Tumblr

SUMMARY: In a world where Heaven and Hell exist, angels and demons are constantly fighting and killing one another. What if a demon easily dominated by his emotions falls in love with a stoic and cold angel trained to kill demons?

PAIRING: Bojan Cvjetićanin/Kris Guštin

WARNINGS: swearing, blood, implied violence, hurt/comfort, implied suicide, emotional rollercoaster, enemies to lovers, hint of jance in the background

WORDS COUNT: 5.094

LINK: AO3

NOTES: Hello! Welcome to my first ever BoKris fic. It all started from this post by @arctixout and that damn tag (for reference: #stoic angel!kris and demon!bojan who's slave to his emotions and then they somehow fall in love wait who said that). And what could I do? It was too juicy to not write something out of it! So here we are.

Besides, as you can see from the title, I used Bluza (Youtube video and lyrics+translation) as my inspiration (and background music while writing), and this songs plays a role in the plot too 👀 yeah, I know we all think this is a BoJere song, but in this fic it's a BoKris fic, you'll understand why

Also, thanks to my beta @anxious-witch!

Last but not the least, I did this aestethic/moodboard trying to match @arctixout gifs

“You should talk to him.”

“Why? He's a demon. He's impure, a damned soul.”

“And you love him.”

“Angels can't love. He started corrupting me.”

“Angels can love and they must love. It's not corruption.”

“How can you tell it's not his corruption, Jan?!”

“Because I fell in love with a demon too. And I accepted it. Go to him, speak to him. He’s singing for you.”

When humans think about demons, the mental image they have is that of a terrifying creature, maybe with huge bat wings, a tail with an arrowhead at the end, claws, horns, red skin, maybe even hooves instead of feet.

Well, we do have a tail, and wings, and claws, but nothing alike of what you see in those pictures, and not every demon has them. We own a human form, just like everyone on this planet, that we use to roam among mortals. We have feelings, desires, hobbies, friends and families. Our only drawback is being born a demon from demon parents. We are guardians in Hell, we just watch over the damned souls who doomed themselves to suffering.

Heaven knows this, angels too, but they deliberately chose to not see this, to hate us, and they kill us with no hesitation when they find us on Earth. They think we are impure beings that don’t deserve to live.

And this is what led me, a demon, to meet the most beautiful creature ever seen on every plane of existence. I fell in love with an angel, I don’t even know his name, but I will discover it.

He almost killed me, I was terrified for my life, but he stopped when our eyes met, the sharp point of his dagger barely touched my throat. Something exploded in my chest, my heart was beating so fast. I've never felt something similar to what I felt at that moment.

And since that night I find myself staring at the sky so often, during both daytime and nighttime. Am I a hopeless romantic that waits for his angel to come and get him? Oh yeah, you can bet on it. And I'll wait for him to appear for eternity, if necessary.

* * *

“Bojan, come on!” Shouts Nace, one of my dearest demon friends. “We are late!”

I turn my eyes in his direction. I was staring at the sky, again. As always, no signs of my angel. He will appear, I’m sure of it, but this is not that day. I sigh, then reach Nace and Jure.

“Still looking for that feathered ass?” Jure asks.

“I…yes. I’d like to meet him again.”

“It’s better if you forget him, he will try to kill you again the next time he sees you,” says Jure while looking me in the eyes.

“He’s different. I’m sure of it. He didn’t kill me.”

“No, but he was about to,” replies Nace. “You know better than us that those winged assholes can’t be reasoned with.”

I lower my eyes, aware of the truth behind Nace’s words. We lost so many of our demon friends because of angels. But maybe…maybe he’s not like the other angels. I saw something in his eyes, something different, this sparkle.

With this thought in mind, I followed Nace and Jure to our destination: there’s a concert of a human band we all like, so we decided to go. We enjoy music so much, we also joke about forming a band together and tour together on Earth, among mortals, but that would put too much attention on us. It’s too dangerous. But at least we can enjoy concerts and gigs!

I’m dancing, taken away by the rhythm of the songs, when my gaze meets familiar eyes in the crowd, two amazing blue-green seas. I completely stop, and so does he. The music and every other sound disappears along with the people around me.

We stare at each other for moments that seem to last decades, blue into brown, light into darkness, Heaven into Hell, a perfect but forbidden combination, something that should never exist.

This magic spell breaks when I feel a hand on my shoulder and immediately after a tight grip. I turn and see Nace on my side, who is harshly staring at my angel. Jure appears on my other side.

I turn again towards my angel and I see two other people near him, one of them with dark and long messy hair and a beard, the other one with shorter hair but well combed and a trimmed beard. They are definitely angels. And they know we are demons.

The guy with messy hair steps in our direction, but my angel stops him, raising his hand and using it as a barrier. The dark-haired angel steps back and quickly glances at his friend. No one says a word.

“Bojči, let’s go,” Jure whispers into my ear, then grabs my arm and pulls me away.

I keep looking at my angel until I can no longer see him in the crowd.

In the next weeks Nace and Jure forbid me to go to the surface, but I sneak out. Every other demon could tell that my self-preservation instinct got fried because I want to talk to that angel, at all costs.

I keep looking at the sky, searching for him. Waiting for him to show up. And every single time nothing happens. But I’m stubborn, I won’t give up.

Tonight the sky is clear, stars are shining bright, and there's a small crescent moon. I'm lying on a patch of grass in the middle of nowhere, around me only trees and mountains. 

Suddenly a shadow partially covers the sky above me.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

I startle and stand up immediately, recoiling scared. When I recognise the person in front of me, I wide my eyes and open my mouth in surprise.

“Angel,” I whisper.

It’s dark, but I can sense his piercing blue eyes on me. He’s tall, taller than Jure and Nace too. His cheekbones are prominent, I can for sure cut myself while stroking them. Maybe I’m a masochist, but I want to touch them and feel them under my hands and bleed for him. He’s standing straight, rigid like a soldier, or maybe a general, I can’t tell his celestial rank.

“I repeat, since you seem to not understand my words, what are you doing here all alone?”

Shivers run down my whole body, his voice is…ok, this might sound cheeky, but yes, his voice sounds angelic, a slow caress of a lover on my back down to my waist. 

“I was looking for you.”

“For me?” He’s surprised.

“Yes, for you. I wanted to talk to you, angel.”

Now he’s confused. Well, not every day a demon comes looking for an angel. I go closer to him, moving slowly.

“I’m not armed,” I show him my hands. “You can check on me. This is not a trap.”

His eyes follow every single movement I do, even more carefully when I’m in front of him. I stare at his face, stunned by his beauty. I lift a hand to touch it, but I stop mid-air. No, I can’t touch him, my dirty hands can only ruin his perfection.

“Why do you want to talk to me, exactly?”

“I…I want to know you, angel.”

“I beg your pardon, you want to know…me?”

“Yes,” I nod. “You are amazingly beautiful, angel,” I let slip this comment, without realising. 

I notice a weird red-ish colour on his face. Did I just make him blush? I chuckle, he replies with a shy smile. Oh, he’s so wonderful! That smile almost made me melt on the spot. 

“Would you like to…I don’t know, come grab a coffee or anything else to drink?”

Who said that angels and demons can’t get along well? They must have never met an angel, then.

My angel, whose name is Kris, is a pleasant company. Well, he’s still a little bit rigid, but since that night when we had a couple of drinks together in a bar he became much more open and relaxed and he smiles so much now! Oh, I adore his smile. And his laugh too! 

We started going out together here and there, but every time it happens, my heart almost explodes out of joy. I can’t wait to see him again and again and again. Jure and Nace are worried for me, but I feel safe around Kris. He’s not like the other angels.

Our “dates” are pretty diverse. Sometimes we just hang out in some park or in the middle of wild places; once we sat on a cliff for hours, we talked and we observed the environment, at least Kris, I was too busy looking at him with heart eyes. Some other time we choose a city and we explore it, we can just appear anywhere in the world, a perk of being supernatural creatures!

This night though is special. Tonight I will confess my feelings to Kris. By now we have been seeing each other for some months and I’m completely sure about my love for him. Yes, I, a demon, fell in love with an angel, I’m not afraid of saying it, I want to shout it from the top of a building.

I’m putting on some makeup. I’m in front of the mirror in the bathroom of a small apartment I rented for when I’m roaming around on Earth. Jure and Nace are with me in the room, they are still worried for me.

“Are you sure of what you are about to do?” Nace asks.

“Yes, never been so sure in my long demonic life,” I reply.

“But he’s an angel, Bojči,” Jure whispers. “He’s dangerous. What if he’s playing with you?”

“He’s not, Jurček. I see how he looks at me, he…I think he’s in love with me too,” I glance at him through the mirror. 

“Angels are sly creatures, you can’t trust them,” Jure adds.

“They say the same stuff about us, you know?” 

I smile at my reflection. That black eyeshadow with glitter is perfect for me, my eyes are shining. “I love him, I’m going to tell him this. Tonight will be a special night, nothing can change this.”

We hear the sound of wings in the living room. He’s here.

I almost run in the room, a huge smile appears on my lips when I see him. He’s wearing beige trousers, a shirt with light colours and floral designs and a silver jacket. He’s from Heaven, no one can be mistaken. And his clothes collide with mine: I’m wearing black trousers and a black t-shirt, when we’ll go out I planned to wear a bright red leather jacket. He’s the good boy, I’m the bully, the bad boy.

“You are stunning, ljubavi .”

“You…too, Bojan.”

I notice his eyes passing over me. I turn and I see Jure and Nace.

“Oh, yeah, these are my dearest friends. This is Jure,” and I point to the blonde demon. “And this is Nace,” I move my hand towards the tattooed demon. “They are safe, they won’t hurt you. I ask you to do the same.”

“...fine,” he grants. His eyes turn back to me. I notice hesitation in him.“You put on makeup.” 

“Yes, just for you. Do you like it?”

“You…look good.”

I grab his hand. “I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

I practically pull Kris to the bathroom, where I make him sit on the edge of the bathtub.

“What are you trying to do, little demon?”

“I told you, it’s a surprise,” I reply while I take the palette I bought the other day. I start putting makeup on his face, I chose a wonderful golden eyeshadow for him. I admire my work.

“You are otherworldly, ljubavi . Open your eyes.”

Kris opens his eyes and looks in the mirror. I observe his reaction: I can read astonishment in his face.

“Gold is your colour. It suits you perfectly.”

“I-It does,” he whispers.

I smile and kiss him on the cheek. “We can go, then. I have other surprises for you, my angel.”

Our first stop is at a wonderful restaurant where we had already eaten so many times because it’s Kris’ favourite. I let him order whatever he wants and then pay for the whole dinner. We talk about many topics, but Kris is weirdly more silent than usual.

“Is everything ok, ljubavi ?” 

“Yeah, sure, don't worry. I…had a rough day in Heaven, that's all.”

I smile fondly at him, then gently grab his hand and slowly stroke its back.

“Now it's time for you to relax, then. Enjoy this night out.”

Our eyes lock. I see him relaxing a bit, the shadow of whatever happened retreating.

Once dinner is finished, we take a long walk into the city centre. It's almost summer, the temperatures are pleasant, so many other humans are around. We blend in, looking like a proper couple, even because we are holding hands.

When we arrive at our final destination of the night, I bring Kris to the top of a building, so we can be alone and closer to the sky, his home.

“Why did you bring me here?” Kris asks.

I shake one hand in the air, around us many candles appear and some slow music starts spreading, embracing us. I turn towards my angel and offer him my hand.

“Would you like to dance with me, Kris?”

He looks at me, confused, but then takes it. I lay my other hand on his waist and smile at him. We start dancing, slowly. My angel is a bit embarrassed, but he tries to follow my lead.

“Just let the music flow over you. Hear it inside of you and allow it to take control over your body,” I whisper to him with a tender voice.

A few seconds later Kris is more relaxed and we are dancing more fluidly, following the rhythm and the melody. I can’t stop smiling while I look at my angel. He’s so beautiful, so ethereal, so perfect. I can see stars reflecting into his eyes, an entire galaxy in which I could lose myself, bewitched by its beauty.

We keep dancing along with the music, but the more we dance, the more I see a shadow coming back in Kris’ eyes, until he leaves my hands and takes two steps back.

“We can’t go on doing this, Bojan.”

“Why not? I don’t understand.”

“Because we can’t! You are a demon, and I’m an angel. We are not supposed to…mingle.”

“We are not mingling, ljubavi . This is a romantic date between two creatures who have feelings for each other.”

I grab the angel's hands and look him in the eyes.

“Kris, I'm not the monster Heaven teaches you to despise. You saw me, you got to know me.”

“You are still a demon, Bojan, no matter how you behave or what you do.”

“And so? What does it change between us?”

“I'm a freaking angel! We are supposed to fight each other, not…doing this, dancing alone like two teenagers in love!”

“Only because we are not human teenagers? Because we come from two different places? Because others tell us that we should hate each other?” I clutch his hands between mine. “You know me,” I repeat. It’s the truth, we have been seeing each other for some months now. I bring one of his hands on my chest, right over my heart. “This heart is yours, ljubavi , and no one else’s.”

“Bojan, this is wrong .”

“Kris, I love you. What's wrong with that?” I feel my heart sink into my chest. “You…don't love me?”

“No, Bojan. I don’t love you. Let’s stop pretending.”

My heart stops beating in that exact moment and I feel my head spin. The ground under my feet is crumbling. I’m falling even if I’m right in front of Kris, my angel. I struggle breathing.

“I-I’m not pretending.”

“Don’t lie, Bojan. You are a demon, all demons do is lie. You know who and what I am, you saw weakness in me because I didn’t kill you that day. You are corrupting me because you want me to lose my wings!”

“I know you are an angel and nothing else! I-I don't want you to lose your wings!” There’s panic in my voice, and maybe it’s showing on my face too. “I’m not lying!”

“You want to bring me to the path of perdition! You want me to fall, just like Lucifer.”

I let Kris' hands go and recoil, stuttering. My heart is clenched, it can’t beat.

“I-I’m not, Kris. I-I don’t want to-”

“Stop lying!” He shouts and his eyes begin shining out of celestial power. “You are a filthy demon. You don’t change, you just want to destroy us.”

I recoil again, scared, I even fall on the ground. I stand up then turn and run away as fast as I can. Tears sting my eyes violently, they want to come out and a few seconds later they manage to do so. My makeup is for sure ruined and dripping down my face. 

I feel like an idiot. I hoped that Kris would be different, but what was I thinking? He's an angel, those creatures are heartless killers when it comes to demons like me. Their hatred for us is blind, almost innate. I just got another proof.

Nace and Jure were right. Angels and demons are not meant to be together. Then why did I, a demon, fall in love with an angel? If we are supposed to be mortal enemies, then why was I destined to lose my reason for a celestial creature that would slaughter me just because I am what I am? Just why? Will I ever get an answer? 

I’ve been locked in my room in a building in Hell for…who knows how much time. I don’t want to see anyone, neither Nace nor Jure. I keep crying, stopping the tears coming out of my eyes is difficult, or dare I say even impossible. My heart is shattered.

Why are demons born with such intense feelings? Why can’t we control them like angels do? Or are we cursed to be dominated by our emotions exactly because angels don’t have them?They teach us that the universe needs balance, so if angels can’t feel, someone else must feel double the time. 

I wrap my body with my arms, trying to look smaller. My tail is out, wrapped around my leg. It’s a pathetic endeavour to not feel so alone and abandoned. 

I wince when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Nace sitting by my side. He’s visibly worried.

“Bojči, what happened?”

I sob. “Y-you were right about him. He-he’s a heartless angel, just like anyone else of them,” I stutter, my voice is trembling.

Nace lays on my bed, facing me, then pulls me over to hug me. I plant my face against his chest. I feel his hand running up and down my back.

“Not every angel is heartless.”

“He is, Nace!” I shout, utter despair in my voice. “He is! I showed him my love and he accused me of trying to corrupt him! I-I gave him my whole heart and he laughed at me, he stabbed it with his ice dagger and killed me-” I stop. I can still hear his words in my mind. “H-He called me a filthy demon, Nace. After all I did for him and showed him, I-I’m still a filthy demon to him.”

My friend says nothing, he just stays there and cuddles me, attempting to make me feel a little bit better. 

And since that day I kind of started feeling better. Well, it’s more of a euphemism. Let’s say that I was barely surviving. I came back to my chores as a demon, but now I don’t smile anymore, or very little. I’m quiet. I prefer to stay alone than in the middle of a crowd. With me I have a small notebook in which I write my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and also lyrics. I can’t be a singer in the human world, but no one can stop me from writing what I feel, what I experience. 

This is how I wrote a song about my angel and how I fell in love with him. It has a stupid name too. I can write good songs, but I’m not able to name them. I will find a better one, one day. Hopefully.

“What are you writing in that notebook?” Asks Jure while sitting next to me.

We are in the human world, more precisely in a park. We needed some fresh air and some sunlight. 

“It’s nothing…” I answer.

Jure leans forward to read. “Is this about him?”

I nod. There’s no one else in my mind. I don’t like his presence, he’s haunting me, my mind is working against me. 

“It’s really intense,” Jure whispers. “Do you really love him?”

I nod again. “I know I’m a stupid demon. I should move on, forget him, but I can’t. He doesn’t love me back, he said it,” I sigh. “I’m just hoping to forget him as soon as possible. Maybe writing this stuff will help me process this stupid feeling.”

“Love isn’t stupid!”

“My love is absolutely stupid. An angel, Jurček! I’m a freaking demon and I fell in love with an angel.”

“You are not the first one.”

“Yeah, and how many of them survived? Are they here to tell their love story? No, Jurček, because angels killed them. I’m lucky I’m still alive.”

Jure pushes me with his shoulder. “Don’t lose hope, Bojči. There’s always time to change.”

I look at him. I don’t believe his words. Months have passed since my last moment with my angel, his shiny eyes are still impressed in my mind. He was about to kill me that night. 

No, he won’t change. Kris is an angel, full stop. He’s born to despise demons like me. I just need to accept that, but it will take time.

Is this despair that is guiding my actions? Possibly. Will I regret my decisions? Almost certainly. But if I can’t be with my angel, then I’d rather be dead, maybe slaughtered by him directly. That would be pretty ironic, wouldn’t it? A demon executed by the angel he’s fallen in love with. There’s poetry behind all of this. Maybe demons will use me as an example to the younglings to warn them to not fall in love with angels if they want to live.

I tried to forget him, move on, but every time I close my eyes, I see him. He's haunting me. And with him also the lyrics of the song I wrote for him. 

I’m in the middle of an abandoned industrial area. I prepared an amplifier with a microphone and a computer. I recorded some music for my song and I will perform it for the first (and last) time here, hoping that my angel is listening to me and will come to…I don’t know, to do anything. I’m ready for whatever he will decide to do to me. Included death.

I test the volume and the music. Everything sounds good, so I play the music and I start singing, looking directly at the sky.

“ Stolicu primakni, ruku mi dotakni, noćas ti si moja muza, ja u ritmu tvoga bluza ću da plešem bez prestanka .”

Nothing. The sky is blue, there’s not a single cloud, not a single sign of feathered wings. I continue singing.

“ Soba nam je mala. Ja ko pijana budala, a ni čaše nisam popio. Ja mislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe. Baš ja, koji nisam verovao da za nekim biću lud. Za tebe, kao u pesmama i filmovima ljubavnim, staviću zvuk .”

Still nothing. But I won’t lose hope, I will keep singing for him. He will show up, eventually. I just need a sign, Kris, please, I’m begging you.

“ Samo se okreni, baci pogled prema meni. Preći će tišina sama kilometre među nama dok jednom srce otkuca .”

Now it’s again time for the refrain. Some tears started running down my face, but I continue singing, I must, even if he won’t appear. I need to take these feelings out of my heart or it will explode. Maybe it will be my heart to kill me and not my angel.

“ Soba nam je mala. Ja ko pijana budala, a ni čaše nisam popio. Ja mislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe. Baš ja, koji nisam verovao da za nekim biću lud. Za tebe, kao u pesmama i filmovima ljubavnim, staviću zvuk .”

I see something in the sky, then the clear sound of wings hits me. I lower my eyes and I find Kris right in front of me. I see his three pairs of wings. A seraph, I should have guessed. Of course, I fell in love with one of the most powerful angels in the sky. When I do something, it’s always something big or I’m not happy with the result.

I kneel in front of him. Now I’ll sing the last part of my song.

“ Ne palite još svetla, još samo jedan tren da se nagledam lepote te. Ne palite još svetla. Ne prizivajte dan. Spasite me, smislite neki plan. Ako svane sunce, ostaću sam .”

The music stops. I’m looking at my angel, finally here for me. I’m breathing deeply, my heart is racing in my chest. My hand that’s holding the microphone is shaking. I’m afraid of what might happen, but at the same time I’m relieved. 

“You came,” I whisper.

“You called.”

Silence falls again between us. Kris slowly approaches, his facial expression is cold, hiding every emotion. I have pure angelic power in front of me, a deadly machine trained to kill my kind, and I’m looking at him in adoration.

“You know I should kill you right now because you are on Earth and not in Hell, right?”

“Then do it. I won’t fight, I won’t run away. If I can’t be with you, I’d rather be dead.”

Kris averts his eyes and presses his lips together, then talks. 

“You are an idiot, Bojan.”

“Yeah, I know, ljubavi . Love made me lose my mind in a way I didn’t think possible.”

“You said that in the song.”

I chuckle. “Maybe it’s just one of the many flaws that make us demons so imperfect in front of you angels. I was so unlucky to fall in love with you, but I don’t consider myself unlucky. I had the best moments of my life with you, I don’t want to change this for anything else in this world, not even a place in Heaven, if this means that I will lose my ability to love so strongly.”

I let the microphone fall on the ground and grab Kris’ sword, he has it in his hand, then I lay his sharp point right on my heart.

“You are here for this, no? Killing another impure soul that doesn’t follow the rules.”

Kris looks at me, finally. I smile, those eyes are so cold and so beautiful at the same time.

“Don’t make me do this, Bojan.”

“It’s ok, ljubavi . It’s ok. It’s…it’s your nature, you have been trained to do this your whole life.”

My voice trembles with emotions. Tears keep running down my face. No, I realise I’m not ready to die. I want to live, to be with him, but I know I can’t. It’s not allowed.

I feel the point of his sword pressed against my chest. In a few seconds it will reach my heart, and it will stop beating. I close my eyes.

But nothing happens. I’m still here, alive, breathing. I hear a metal sound against the ground, then two hands cup my face and I feel warm and soft lips pressed on mine.I open wide my eyes. Kris is kneeling on the ground in front of me and he’s kissing me.

I close my eyes again. I kiss him back, desperate to feel him, to make him feel my love through that act. I gently grab his wrists. 

When we interrupt the kiss, I touch Kris’ forehead with mine. I keep my eyes closed, trying to process what just happened.  

“Please, let it be real,” I whisper, without even realising it. “Please, please, let it be real.”

Kris chuckles. “It’s real, Bojan.”

I open my eyes and part a bit from him, just to look him in the eyes. “Real-real kind of way or…real-I’m-in-some-sort-of-Heaven-for-demons-because-I’m-dead kind of way?” I ask.

My angel gently strokes my cheeks, then leans forward to kiss me again. 

“This kind of way, my little demon,” he whispers against my lips. I shiver thanks to that lovely nickname. I hate being called little because it reminds me of my lack of height, but I’d let Kris call me whatever he wants, just to hear his voice again and again.

“I’m your little demon, then?”

Kris nods while looking me in the eyes. He caresses my lower lip with his thumb. His touch is so gentle, shivers run down my spine again.

“What made you change your mind?”

“Your song. I had feelings for you, they developed pretty early, but I…wasn’t acknowledging their existence because I never had the chance to fall in love with someone.”

I jump on Kris to hug him, sending us both falling to the ground, so I end up on top of him. I burst out laughing.

“Well, now you have someone right here.”

My tail appears behind me and shakes in the air, showing my happiness. I kiss him on the cheek, then giggle when I see him blushing. A couple of tears run down my face, but this time they are out of pure and simple joy.

* * *

I've been a demon my whole life. I grew up fearing angels, but nothing could have prepared me for what fate had planned for me. I fell in love with Kris, an angel, a seraph. Our relationship began with the worst scenario possible, with him trying to kill me. And yeah, I might be dumb, because I fell in love with him in that moment, but now we are happy together. And I wouldn’t change a thing about us.

Heaven and Hell finally united thanks to the love between an angel and a demon.

[mairitess]

ebbs and flows pt. 2 // jaya

a/n: i wrote this bc i got back into ninjago and i needed to write something for them bc i'm not caught up enough to be able to read the current fics + also on ao3 in caps

words: 1.5k, part one here

tags: angst, fluff, post-skybound, post s10 ninjago: masters of spinjitzu, jaya, no beta we die like kings, they r so traumatized after nadakhan, minor violence mentions from skybound, kiss kiss rated t just in case

preview:

she might’ve missed it, if she weren’t so keyed up already. “you’re my yang, nya.”

the ninjas returned to the temple absolutely beaten. they’d defeated the latest ninjago city menace, but it took more effort than usual. their entire way home, jay was tapping his foot incessantly.

“can you stop that?” cole said, irritated. “you sound like a walking time bomb.”

jay started to apologize. “i’m sorry! i can’t help it. i’m…”

“nervous? anxious? stressed?” the suggestions came in a popcorn chorus from zane, pixal, and kai.

jay put his head in his hands. “yes,” he sighed, defeated.

cole put his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “what happened…?” to you and nya?

“i have no idea.”

everyone was quiet until they got to the temple. they knew jay was doing his best, and they knew how stubborn and guarded nya could be, too — much like her brother. when they landed, jay filed out last, worry troubling his stomach.

“you got it, jay,” lloyd said, clapping jay on the shoulder. “it’ll be okay.” he turned from jay to look at cole, also unsure. they’d known nya had been different recently, as much as she tried to hide it. but they didn’t know what they could do, especially if jay wasn’t able to fix it.

with heavy heart and steps, jay made his way to nya’s room in the early morning hours. misako and wu were standing just outside her door, making jay even more nervous. he rushed over.

“what happened? is she okay? where is she?” he couldn’t keep his voice down, his lightning energy rushing into his veins again.

“she’s fine,” misako said, placing her hands on his shoulders. “she’s okay. but…” she trailed off, as nya’s door started to open.

it was the first time she’d really looked at him in weeks, and jay’s heart dropped as he saw her bloodshot eyes and dark circles. as much as he was exhausted from their fight in the city, she had been draining for far longer.

“hi, jay.”

—

he followed her into her room, gently closing the door behind them. when she sat on the edge of her bed, he sat a foot away, careful to keep some distance. he didn’t want to make things worse.

“i missed you,” he said, unable to keep it in. “i miss you. i love you. i…” jay suddenly felt too loud, too brash, and worried he’d scare her away again.

“i love you too,” nya replied, tears brimming again. “and i think i’m ready to tell you what happened — or, what’s been happening, and i’ve been so worried to tell you before because i’m scared you’ll hate me and want to leave me but i love you and if that’s how i make you feel then i just want you to be happy and safe and secure and i’m scared when i tell you this you’ll —“ nya cut herself off, too scared to speak into reality one of her biggest fears. “you make me feel more special and confident and myself than anyone i’ve ever known,” she whispered. “and i’m scared you’ll throw me away when i tell you.”

sometimes, even when jay wasn’t talking, nya could still hear the lightning coursing through him. this time, she couldn’t. she was scared to break the silence. she needed to know if he even wanted to hear what she had to say.

and she might’ve missed it, if she weren’t so keyed up already. the quietest he’s ever been, the most hesitant yet gentle and kind.

“you’re my yang, nya. nothing you could say could ever change that.”

jay knew nya well enough to know she was struggling with not feeling like she was doing their relationship “right”. a perfectionist through and through, as soon as things started to dissolve, so did she. but jay needed her the way the moon needs the tides, the skies reaching for the waters beneath. she knew ebbs and flows, but so did he, because he yearned for her throughout.

nya told him of her nightmares, and how she thought she was dying that day. she drew in a deep breath, before she told him that his hold felt the same way. she thought she was angry he wasn’t upset like she was. she wasn’t angry anymore.

he was quiet, processing, until he asked, “do you really think i’m not upset like you?” nya stilled.

“all our friends died. i had just seen you in a wedding dress, and you were about to marry someone else, even if not by choice. and then you started to die in my arms, by a tactical choice i made. it would’ve been all my fault, if you…” he paused. “you’re the love of my life, nya. and i held you as i cried because i don’t know what life there is without you.

“i made my last wish holding you. and everything was good again when we went back and you took my hand. i know that right now my touch feels like… death, but i need you to know that to me, touching you gave us a new chance at life.”

nya was stunned; all she could do was sit there, his words ringing over and over again in her head.

“i love you, nya. i just… need some time to think about it, too. okay?” jay said, standing up. he smiled, but it was small and somber. nya couldn’t help feeling like she’d hurt him, that she’d thought so little of his actions. she nodded, and it wasn’t until her door closed again that she was able to mumble, “i love you.”

—

nya didn’t leave her room all day. she was feeling better, but she didn’t want to step out. kai brought her dinner and they sat side by side as she ate.

“how’s jay?” she asked, and kai shrugged. “he’s been in his room ever since we got back. so i don’t know. but it was a pretty bad fight, so maybe he’s just resting. though normally he’d rest by playing some video games,” kai joked, nudging nya lightly with his shoulder. she quieted again, looking down at her food.

“i think i messed up,” nya said, swirling her spoon in her congee.

“i don’t think you could with jay, sis. he loves you.”

“i know. but that doesn’t mean… that doesn’t mean things will always be okay.”

“sure. but it also doesn’t mean you two can’t be okay, either.” kai paused. “uh, let me say that again. you guys will get through it. that’s what love is. love is about getting through things together, not keeping things perfect all the time.”

nya smiled, genuinely, for the first time in awhile. “when did you get to be wu number two?”

kai laughed. “probably when i realized how much you and jay love each other.”

nya understood it was time to stop fighting the flow. it took the master of water long enough.

—

it was just after 10, and nya needed to see jay. but as soon as she opened her door, there he was, hand poised to knock. he jumped back. “gosh, nya! you’re quiet.”

they stood in her doorway, just looking at each other, not quite sure what to do next. they started speaking over each other in a flurry.

“nya—“

“jay, i—“

nya laughed, and jay could feel everything start to lighten. “come in.”

they lay down on nya’s bed next to each other, closer than they’d been in weeks past.

“i’m sorry, jay,” nya mumbled, drawing circles with her finger into her pillowcase.

“no, i’m sorry, nya. i shouldn’t have left the way i did earlier.”

“it’s okay.” jay raised an eyebrow and nya nodded. “i promise. i’ve… been thinking about it longer than you have. it’s only fair.”

he smiled, and nya kept looking between the freckles across his face and his brilliant blue eyes. how could she have ever been so afraid of what he would say?

“so…” she started. “what now?”

“i don’t want to rush you into anything,” jay said. “i love holding you, and you know how much that means to me, but we don’t have to touch or anything until you’re ready. but i do think it could help,” he offered.

nya shook her head as he talked. “you could never rush me. and i want to fix things. so maybe… we start here?”

she gently grabbed his hand, and placed it on the side of her face, holding him there. nya nudged closer to jay until they were a breath apart. she tilted her head up and gazed at him, waiting.

“i missed you,” nya said, and jay met her halfway, their lips melding into each other where they belonged. softly, first, then as nya grew more incessant, jay matched her, and it was like breathing and drowning in confessions of love all at once.

jay was careful not to move his hand from her cheek, but as they kissed, she moved his hand down to her back, and he pulled her ever closer. nya broke their kiss first to breathe.

“i missed you too,” jay said, one arm behind her back, the other under her neck, cradling the back of her head. they laid there for hours, and just as nya was starting to doze off, jay asked, “nya… what do want me to do if you have another nightmare again?”

she thought about it before, but wasn’t sure what would work until they tried. “just don’t let go,” she mumbled into his chest, and he held her tighter.

[endofradio]

FRAGMENTS OF FEAR — PROLOGUE

WARNINGS: not really any except for alcohol consumption

NOTES: sooo i’ve decided to rewrite the ao3 fic (fragments of fear) i was working on because i felt like the current draft i was writing could’ve been better and i’m a perfectionist sooo i am trying something different here! let’s see how writing this on tumblr goes. i’ll make a custom hashtag for this work on here that way the chapters are more easily accessible. in the future i’ll make a new work on ao3 and post the rewritten chapters there too. i’ll have to think about it.

while obviously this version is going to be a rewritten version therefore tweaked and all that, i’m still going with the idea of having everything set in the 80s. i already plan on writing a sequel to this shit and i’ll try to make the whole 80s au thing more obvious there. for now, i’ll try to make it work 💀 i just think an 80s abigail au would be interesting, at least for this fic.

SUMMARY: it’s been five years since frank’s last seen sylvie, yet somehow he can’t bring himself to stop thinking about her. how can some random woman he arrested affect him this much?

turns out, he’ll be crossing paths with her again.

WORD COUNT: 1,497 (i have a headache okay)

TAGS: @shawsfinalgirl @reclaimedbythesea @creelmalfoylaufeyson69 @atcarpenter @blackwolfstabs @witchy-weve-monbebe @simpingforclaudette

Tonight was just another night — another night of bad decisions for Adam. There were plenty of seedy dive bars to get wasted in, and of course, he had planned to take full advantage of that. Anything to drown out his thoughts, right?

Unfortunately for him, even the strongest liquors couldn’t keep his brain quiet. With every shot of whiskey he did, he was still thinking about her — that damn fucking brunette. Adam could still picture her big, brown eyes that always stared at him with that look of defiance that was simultaneously infuriating, yet… encouraging. He had loved visiting her jail cell just to tease her and get her all riled up. She never hesitated to snap back at him with that feisty, snarky attitude of hers. It pissed Adam off, dealing with someone with such a stubborn attitude who refused to back down to him. He was a man who thrived on power. He craved having a sense of control over somebody, and that girl refused to give it to him, that sense of control.

As much as it bothered Adam, it also… intrigued him. Plus, he thought she was even more attractive than she already was when she was pissed off. Right from the minute he met her, he knew he was going to be giving her a hard time.

A few months later, she was able to go home, and… strangely enough, Adam felt a tinge of disappointment. The fun was over.

Five years later, he wasn’t a detective anymore, now a criminal. Five years later, he was a deadbeat father who had abandoned his now ex-wife and his son, sitting all alone in his pathetic apartment and drinking. Five years later, he was driving himself insane over some woman he’d most likely never see again.

What was her name again, anyway? Sylvia? Yeah, Sylvia… or, as he liked to call her, “Sylvie.”

After a period of time, Adam managed to return to his apartment, but with an excruciating headache from clearly drinking too much. He felt lightheaded and had a tinge of nausea. It didn’t help that he hadn’t really eaten anything at all today. Alcohol and an empty stomach — a very poor combination, Adam.

He stumbled into his apartment drunkenly grumbling and swearing, and eventually managed to take a seat on the couch. His surroundings were blurry, even despite wearing his glasses.

Adam’s apartment was quiet and lonely. Once upon a time, he had a family. He had a wife, he had a son. Now, he was alone again, and he had brought it upon himself. He had decided that being a family man wasn’t the life he wanted. Another bad decision, Adam.

He could only hear the sound of the clock on the wall ticking, and it only served as another bitter reminder of the fact he was alone, leaving him to struggle with his thoughts by himself. Sylvie ended up in his mind again, and it was only making him increasingly agitated.

“Fuckin’ damn it…” Adam grumbled, massaging his temples in an attempt to try and relieve his headache. He didn’t even really give a fuck about Sylvie, so why was she stuck in his mind? He couldn’t recall the last time somebody had gotten under his skin like this, really under his skin.

There was a knock on the door, causing Adam to flinch. He was tempted to get up and answer it, see what the fuck it was about, but he couldn’t do it in the drunken state he was in. He simply just remained seated until the knocking ceased, and that was when he decided to get up and investigate. Maybe it was mail. That was usually the only reason why he’d get somebody knocking on his door.

Sighing, Adam forced himself to stand and staggered over to the door, desperately trying to keep his balance as he reached for the doorknob, his unsteady hand trembling just a little. Then, he turned it, carefully opening the door.

Sure enough, there was a plain white envelope waiting for him in his mailbox. “The fuck…?” He murmured, snatching the envelope. Quickly, he closed the door and headed back inside, placing the envelope on the kitchen counter. Sure enough, it was addressed to an “Adam Barrett” — him. When he saw the address information of the sender, his eyes slightly widened. Lambert?

Adam tore open the envelope, revealing a piece of paper inside. There was no “dear, [NAME]” or any other formalities, just a simple, to-the-point message. He tried to focus his gaze on the letters, trying his best to decipher what had been written.

“Adam — I’ve included a list of five addresses. I need you to deliver a message to each of these addresses by mail. Tell them that they’ve got a bit of a job offer for them — kidnap the daughter of an incredibly wealthy man, and they’ll all be rightfully rewarded. If they accept, I’ll call them individually. — Lambert.”

Adam narrowed his eyes. God, he hated being told what to do, but he knew damn well that Lambert wasn’t a man who was meant to be crossed. He also knew Lambert well enough to know that if he needed something, it was urgent.

“I’ll do this shit tomorrow…” He muttered, and he tossed the piece of paper aside. Right now, he didn’t feel like fucking doing anything. However, as frustrated as he was right now, he’d undeniably do anything with the incentive of money.

“Why didn’t anyone say we were kidnapping a kid?” A dark-haired woman muttered as the group headed inside the mansion in front of them. A taller, more muscular man was carrying the kid in question over his shoulder.

Adam turned around to shoot the woman a sharp, cold glare. “It doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s a kid. Fuckin’ deal with it.” He snapped, before turning back around. “Alright, get the fuck inside.”

Once everyone was inside and the doors were closed, they all looked around, gawking at the place. The guy who had been in charge of driving the group to this place seemed especially impressed, a smug smile tugging at his lips. “Damn!”

“Like it, huh?”

Everybody turned around, and sure enough… Lambert was standing there, a smirk on his face.

“Find a room and get the girl situated. Set up a lookout position. Meet back here in five. For those of you who don’t know, I go by Lambert. You all came highly recommended, and so far, those recommendations are paying off.”

Lambert’s eyes surveyed the group, and as they started to disperse, he narrowed his eyes. Something wasn’t… right. He could’ve sworn there was supposed to be another person amongst the group. If he had forgotten to mention her, he remembered now. He’d wait until the group had returned.

Once they did, Lambert continued to speak. He gave the group members new names: Joey, Sammy, Peter, Dean, and Rickles. As for Adam, he was now “Frank.”

“The only one to be allowed in the room with the girl is her,” Lambert gestured to Joey, “so the rest of you… make yourselves comfortable. Any questions?”

“Who’s the girl?” Joey questioned.

“You don’t need to know her name,” Lambert responded.

“I don’t care about her name. Whose kid is she?”

Frank rolled his eyes. “The fuck’s that matter to you?”

“A very wealthy man who’s about to be $50 million poorer,” Lambert answered matter-of-factly. His eyes then darted between Frank and Dean. “Frank, Dean. Come over here.”

Frank rolled his eyes as he followed Dean over to Lambert. “The fuck is it now?” He asked, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

“We’re missing somebody.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Frank questioned, his tone one of confusion. “You gave me five addresses. I brought five people.”

“There’s one address I forgot to write down. 7871 Lantern Drive. You know where that is?”

At the mention of that address, Frank felt as though the wind had been knocked out of his chest. Wait a second… it couldn’t be the same person, right?

“Yes, I do.” He responded, attempting to keep his voice steady.

“Good. Track her down and bring her here. Don’t hesitate to use the tranquilizer if you have to. She’ll be referred to by ‘Ava’ while she’s here.”

Before Frank and Dean could say anything, Lambert turned around and began to head for the doors. He gave the group a final look before speaking one last time.

“There’s clean bedding and lit fires in the rooms. Kitchen’s fully stocked, so is the bar. See you in 24 hours, my lovely pack of rats.”

And just like that, Lambert was gone. Frank exchanged an annoyed glance with Dean.

“Jesus Christ…” He muttered, before leading Dean out the entrance.

“Where are you both going?” Sammy called out.

“Don’t fuckin’ worry about it.” Frank curtly responded. “We should be back in a few. All of you, behave.”

[thegreatobsesso]

wooooooo working on something exciting!!! ;D

The fellow who walks into the room is even more delicious than his profile picture, but Octavius recognizes the gentle eyes, chubby cheeks and perfect blonde curls that initially stopped him browsing. If there’s a single word that could sum up his appearance, it’d be, simply, sweet.

Octavius likes sweet things. Fancy little cakes, two hundred year old port from the Douro valley, and darlings like this who shuffle on their feet, unsure of themselves in the presence of a superior.

He’s got no choice, really, but to toy with him. 

“Well,” he says experimentally, looking him up and down. “Jules must’ve been having an off day, sending you up.”

It works a little too well - the boy can’t even hide the way his face falls, and Octavius can’t bear to see him suffer so, sap that he is. He takes his guest’s chin in his hand.

“Surely he knows better than to send me someone under the age of eighteen.”

Milo McKenzie huffs a little relieved laugh and blushes impossibly, vibrant as a cartoon character. “You’re a decade in the clear there,” he says shyly, which of course, Octavius already knows. “And a bit on top of that.”

“Good,” he says, tugging the man closer by his shirt. “That’s very good, because I like what I see.”

He’s thirty-two, a baby, really. A mental health professional, has an office space in Notting Hill and a modest flat of his own in Ealing. Caucasian, five-foot-five, blood type O positive, no major chronic health problems, single, and an Eighth Sin regular able to provide reliable references.

He relies heavily on these references; he wouldn't be caught dead in his own club. 

“Open your mouth.”

The boy complies without hesitation - and yes, Octavius will call him a boy in his own mind, and perhaps later out loud. But he’s got a solid four inches on him at least, so it’s the simplest thing to tip his head back and descend upon him.

Milo’s got to break for breath and that’s just fine - there’s more of him to kiss. Octavius turns his head to the side and sets upon his porcelain little neck, eliciting a beautiful whimper.

“Are you quite alright?” hums against soft skin.

“Yeah,” the boy gasps. “God. You’re. I wasn’t expecting, uh, this.”

“Mmm. Did Jules make me out to be some kind of untouchable ice sculpture?”

“I. I don’t. Oh.”

How adorable; the path of Octavius’s hands under his jumper has already disabled his ability to complete sentences. 

“So responsive. What do I call you, love?” He twists the boy’s nipples while looking straight into his eyes, delighted by the way he squirms under two different kinds of calculated attention.

“Milo,” he manages. “Milo’s good. That’s my name, so.”

He repeats the name out loud to see how it tastes. “That’s a very nice name,” he concludes. “I’m going to take you apart, Milo. Find all the secret little mechanisms that hold you together and snap them off one by one. How does that sound?”

He doesn’t think much in these moments, just lets the words tumble out like he’s communicating with a dear little animal who can’t really understand him anyway, but the boy exhales with a heady sort of pleasure that lets Octavius know it’s working.

“Fucking fantastic.”

“I’m sorry, what was that now?”

The corner of Milo’s mouth quirks up. “Fucking fantastic, sir.”

He withdraws his hands from under the jumper and ruffles his blonde curls, enjoying the tousled effect it provides. “Well done,” he praises. “Now, go lay on the bed.”

“Oh. You mean...?” The boy glances down at himself.

“Yes, in your clothes.”

He’s already sized up the fabric and knows it will stretch up and over the back of the boy’s head once his wrists are tied to the headboard. He’s in that sort of mood to ratchet up the tension very, very slowly - keep this one around for awhile.

--

✨ WIP intro

🔖 tag list: @winterandwords // @foxboyclit //@revenantlore

@space-writes // @indecentpause // @words-after-midnight

comment to be added or removed!

📝 all posts from WIP: gay crime bdsm story

[imagionationstation]

Hi! I read your TMNT 2012 separated au that you made with ellestrade and it really gave me brainworms so I wrote a small one-shot for it! The characters kinda ended up writing themselves haha.

anyways, wanted to share it with you and also make sure that you're okay with it. Not sure how you feel about other people taking inspiration from you ideas, so if you would like me to take it down, just let me know!

Thanks for sharing such fun ideas. Here's the post (I've also tagged you in it but sometimes tags are weird and don't always show. Also its on my fandom specific sideblog, but I am the same person haha)

Gotta love those brain worms! (Ironic statement from a 2012 viewpoint, actually-) HOLY CHALUPA, BRAIN WORMS IN THIS AU UNIVERSE, WAIT WAIT ACTUALLY WAIT-

*background rambles and spazzing*

Okay, I’m back.

I’m always a-okay with whatever fan things anyone wants to create with inspiration from something I made or helped make. As long as it isn’t containing some stamp that says “this I deem canon” when neither me (nor my partner) deemed it canon, no one ever has to worry with me getting upset over some story/comic/art.

I’m going to give some thoughts and I want to disclaimer.

When I discuss my thoughts on your POV of events in the AU, I will never, in any way, intend to diss or attack the story. I think the flow was excellent and Raph’s analysis of the events occurring was intriguing. I loved it! And nothing I say will be a statement otherwise.

But, since I have a distinct inability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to turtles and you asked, I have thoughts 🧐

My brain is now turning and ya’ll have to deal.

Characterization:

Donnie: Much distrust. Much sass. A strong sense of duty to defend his brethren turtles who don’t deserve it but he’s doing it anyway.

Very on point. Much approval 👌

Mikey: Could not be more perfect. I love him. Sweet soul ✨

Leo: He’s a bit less… Forceful. Cold and calculating. Than I envision.

I’d imagine that he had to learn to shut feelings down in order to survive. Fidgeting/smiling/visibly hesitating is out of the question. Staying in Shredder’s graces meant learning to play the game. His silence is what earns Raph the ability to be loud. The only times that he’s himself is when him and Raph are alone, outside of the sight of cameras, or when someone in is danger and fear/fury overwhelms all else. He seems bland to outsiders and it takes the Hamato brothers a while to see that that he’s just a scared little boi at heart that’s just trying his best in a cruel world.

He’s also set in his beliefs, so he’s going to assume that they’re being tormented mentally, if not physically. There’s no place in his mind that wonders if they were actually safer elsewhere.

I do like your POV, though. Plenty for me to play with.

Raph:

He’s ABSOLUTELY the first to question the differences between how Shredder treats them and how Splinter treats their brothers. He doesn’t jump the gun, but as devoted as he is, he’s never really liked Shredder. I love the implications that he’s been filing away concerns subconsciously and his brain keeps poking him like “HELLO?!”

He’s very deep. I can’t decide how I feel about that 🤔

Shredder would have wanted to fan that temper into something unforgiving and vile. Or course, that doesn’t mean he stops being a sensitive soul. It could… Have something to do with Shredder manipulating him into being angry when he wills it (basically all the time) and solemn and still when he doesn’t (such as during lectures, punishments, etc).

His brain registers this situation as one where he’s not meant to be loud and angry, and so he’s kinda… Shut down. Sassy, but mellow. Processing. Adapting. Letting what happens happen because he’s not meant to stop it.

It’s a reason that Leo gets so defensive when punishments come into play. It forces Raph to feel small. It make him vulnerable.

HOLY MOTHER OF MUTATIONS- I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW TAKE ON THE AU @ellestrade TELL ME IF I’M ONTO SOMETHING

Anyway, commentary:

“in one of Takeō's strategy books he couldn't care less about”

It’s like Space Heroes. He claims so and YET he read, recalls, AND clearly has DEBATED the passage so I call sus vibes.

I get giddy when I think of Takeō discovering Space Heroes-

“Junkō and Kōta— or Donnie and Mikey, whatever false name they’d been given—”

My brain made connections. I don’t know if it was intended, but I always believe that they knew them by Shredder’s names through the beginning of season one, end of season one/beginning of season two they were associating them as both, and then by the time that the City is under attack, they’ve adapted to using their real names. (But the Saki brothers still keep their Foot names.)

So, now I assume this is somewhere in that middle plot.

Fun little Easter egg~

“Takeō and Akihitō were the offense, and Donnie and Mikey were the defense” “They held their own. In fact, they dominated.”

I’m in love with Raph’s simple acknowledgment of their roles in battle. It’s a very practical outline of exactly how their dynamic on the field plays out and he's so certain of his place.

On the other hand, I’m a bit uncertain about whether they’d dominate. I do believe that they are trained and can hold their own, but I don’t know about them being as impressive as Raph&Leo, simply because Splinter trained them to defend and Shredder trained them to kill. The Hamato brothers haven’t had much time to practice in the offensive, especially since that’s Leo&Raph’s job. (In non-AU canon, they are all offensive/defensive.)

I think Mikey might learn that kinda strength at the farmhouse after being taught by Leo&Raph, and Donnie will step back from that, finally finding his place not as a fighter/leader, but as a scientist.

Definitely an interesting take, tho 🤔

“Only now does he think that, perhaps, there was a reason their master made their primary weapons blunts and not blades.”

I am chewing on this line so hard. It’s so powerful.

I can’t even tell you why. It just is.

“Akihitō knows that Takeō isn’t lying. He’d already tried to take tonight's blame all on his own shoulders, spare Akihitō of the punishment. But Akihitō knows all his tricks and he won’t let his brother suffer alone. Again.”

100% behind Raph learning to butt in when Leo tries to take the fall as they get older and punishments get worse.

“Seeing the situation, the evidence glaring at him, Akihitō cannot deny that this wasn’t exactly a great sell. Takeō and him are tied to the ground, trying to convince these two strangers that they would be safe with them. That their clan would not hurt them while that same clan was just about ready to beat them to a pulp.”

I was thinking the same thing 🤣

Leo, dude, seriously. Look around. Think for a second. You are not selling your point. You are doing the opposite.

In the end, it doesn’t even matter. Sensei will always find them no matter where they run. It was better to follow than be chased.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE KIDS THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL MOTIVATED TO STAY WITH DAD BECAUSE HE WILL FORCED YOU TO REMAIN OTHERWISE. BRUH. RED FLAG.

These were Foot Ninja binds made specifically to hold them. Mutant strength and all.

It makes sense that Shredder would make these. But.

But man. He made those. For them.

Takeō tries to take control of the situation again, the bossy oldest sibling coming out in him.

HA. Got him. Leo is Leo in any universe.

“His name is Mikey.” Donnie glares. “The rat is lying and he has—” “Donnie, its fine.”

Absolutely how they view things. Mikey doesn’t care what they think or do as long as no one he cares about is paying the price. Donnie feels it is a manner of principle that they accept logic and truth.

Leo talking over both of them is valid. This kid, I swear.

“Then tell your older brother to shut up about—”

LEO IS IT OFFICIAL YOU HAVE BEEN DISOWNED

“Sounds like a you-problem.” Donnie stands. “Mikey, we saved them. It's time to go.”

Donnie would die for them <3

A hand lands on his shoulder, and he recognizes it. Takeō always knows when to give support. He’s a good brother. He hopes Donnie and Mikey will know that one day too.

OH. OKAY. WELL. 🥺

THOSE FEELS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE-

He loved his big bro sm hjkhkjhkjhjkkjhkjhkjhku

If Akihitō didn’t know any better, he’d say it was longing.

Oh, don’t worry, he is dying to have other people in his life who genuinely care for him, but as long as you guys are with the enemy, you’re a threat to his baby brother and daddy and not to be trusted

And, just maybe, it could be their world too. 

Oh, so that’s what pain feels like. Glad to be reminded.

[sichore]

Also 23 for the otp prompts!

tagging @nightklok because they asked for this prompt too! it got away from me a bit... like 2K words a bit.

23. Write about your ship supporting each other through a hard time.

MagJam | mention of MagCharles | 2271 words | post s2. ep. 19 Black Fire Upon Us | non-explicit sex

Mordhaus is attacked and the first thing Magnus feels is worry, sick and gnawing in his gut as he tries to go about the shop as usual. Are they okay? Did they make it out? And the anchorman goes on to say no, they did not. 

All the money and fame in the world didn’t stop them from being infiltrated, invaded like the micronation of shit that they are, and now Charles is dead.

Charles is dead.

Time passes in a haze, swirled and blurred images of life moving on regardless. Nairi notices and asks what’s wrong and he can’t bring himself to tell his daughter the truth. “Nothing. I’m fine. How was class?” And Nairi’s furrowed brow is a mirror of his own, but eventually she stops asking, her hands no longer hesitating as she tells him about her day.

Charles is dead and the hate and resentment that’s built up over the past decade is numbed by a wave of grief so deep that Magnus finds himself visiting the liquor store more and more because he can’t bring himself to touch the bottle of arak in his cabinet. He’s far from sober, but he usually doesn’t let beer bottles collect in his recycling bin this fast. They gather like his regrets and dreams, empty and dusty and sometimes broken before he tosses them out, and then the pile grows all over again.

Two weeks go by. Maybe a month. And then Jimi comes back.

“Oh, hey!” She greets him in a scene like an echo of a time past and it takes his breath away. Jimi, standing in his kitchen with Nairi as they put away groceries, smiling as brightly as she did the first time they did this so many years ago when Nairi was much smaller.

“We were gonna make dinner, but we got a bit carried away at the store,” Jimi apologizes, shrugging, and holds up a takeout container. “How’s Italian sound?”

“Good.” Magnus swallows down the lump in his throat and hopes that eases in the hoarseness in his voice. “I didn’t know you were back.”

“Some stuff came up at work, so…” Jimi shrugs, doesn’t exactly meet his eye. “Here I am!”

Dinner comes from a local Italian spot that Magnus and Jimi had gone to once, together, the evening they decided that no, this probably shouldn’t be a thing. The bread is still soft, the pasta exquisite, and the sun-dried tomatoes far, far sweeter than Magnus remembers.

“There were some changes,” Jimi says, once Nairi retreated to her room for the evening to leave the two of them to polish off the bottle of white wine Jimi had picked up ‘for fun’. Her gaze stays focused on her stemless glass, swirling around her drink. “So I’m finally back here for the time being.”

“For how long?” Magnus ventures, trying not to think about how much his world has shrunk since Jimi started spending more time away at this mystery job than her apartment. Since he was left behind, three times now.

“Mmh, not sure.” And Jimi sets her glass down on the coffee table, curls a leg up onto the couch so she can face Magnus. “How ‘bout you? How have you been?”

Terrible. “Fine.” Spiraling. “Same as usual.”

“You look tired, Magnus.”

He doesn’t have an answer for her.

Jimi is home a lot now. His home, which could have been hers, too. Magnus doesn’t realize how much he’s been slacking on groceries until he starts coming home to the fridge constantly being stocked with more than takeout, leftovers, and beer. Nairi is bright and cheery the following weeks after Jimi takes her on a shopping spree, and frequently sports a colorful jacket from one of her shows.

One evening, Magnus comes home after closing shop to find Jimi asleep on his couch, having been in the middle of folding laundry. She’s not even that good about putting away her own clothes from what he recalls.

He reaches down to brush an errant curl, stops himself, and instead moves her glasses to the side table. It’s enough to wake up the artist.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” she says hastily, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. “I was just –”

“Jimi, what are you doing?”

The way she pauses and her eyes widen in embarrassment makes Magnus kick himself for his lack of tact, but he can’t bring himself to stop. “I mean, you’ve been –”

“Weird, ah, I know. It’s weird. Sorry. I’ll just go–”

“No. Shit, I’m sorry, don’t –” Don’t go, please. She starts to rise and he places his hand on her shoulder and the way Jimi looks up at Magnus makes him jolt. A dormant urge sparks to life and he’s not so quick to snuff it out. “I’m sorry. I appreciate everything you’ve done, really. I know I’m not great at showing it.”

And he pauses, the words sending him down a completely different train of thought. He redirects. “And Nairi’s been really happy to see you again.”

Ignoring the protest in his knees, Magnus kneels down to be more at Jimi’s level, and he sees the way she sucks in a breath, hands clasped in her lap. He tosses his hair over his shoulder with a jerk of his head. “You’ve just got me worried, is all.”

The way Jimi presses her lips together and her eyes harden, he expects her to challenge him right back, because he knows the bags under his eyes haven’t gotten much better since she first asked about them. That the recession is hitting everyone hard, the shop hasn’t been doing its best, and Jimi just seems to be biding her time while making sure Nairi has everything she needs.

And Magnus is grateful, even if his pride is wounded a bit. It’s really not a talk either of them wants to have. “Listen, if you need to come back to the shop for a bit, it’s not a problem–”

“It’s not that,” Jimi interrupts, then sighs, looking away. Her hands twist in her lap and this time Magnus doesn’t hesitate to take one. He watches Jimi’s shoulders sag, and the fight leaves her body, replaced with an emotion he can’t identify that’s gone as fast as a ripple. “I’ve just got a lot of time on my hands. Maybe I should go back to school. Actually finish this time.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Mmh.”

He forgot how small her hands were compared to his, long and knobby and weathered as they are. Jimi holds his hand much more carefully than he handled all those bottles he knocked back. She looks at him now and her eyes are dark as midnight in the summer. He can see the glitter of stars, feel the warm breeze in his hair, the blades of grass on his skin.

“... hey, Magnus…”

“Yeah?”

Jimi squeezes his hand, worries her lower lip with her teeth. Soft, plush lips that he remembers should be treated delicately. “... Lemme finish up here.”

He’s not sure what he was expecting. He should be used to disappointment. “Right, yeah. Okay.”

Weeks and months pass and Magnus remembers feelings other than grief and monotony and apathy. Even tragedy can’t stop Dethklok from flaunting their wealth before the world and that familiar sneer of disgust curls Magnus’ lip, before he changes the channel away from news of that damn statue.

Charles is dead and Jimi’s back and the need for revenge still burns in his chest and Nairi is healthy and well. It’s not exactly his normal, because he’s missing more than he usually is, and maybe some part of him really did believe that negotiating his royalties wouldn’t be the last time he spoke to Charles. It was the band, the rest of those selfish assholes who cast him out, and Charles wasn’t much better than himself, casting away his heart in favor of reaching his goals.

Magnus feels like he’s on the verge of waking from a dream, like maybe he’s getting to the acceptance phase, when Jimi turns to him and says Nairi’s gone for the weekend.

And he snaps out of whatever haze he was in. “Oh?”

“Yep,” Jimi chirps, shrugging. She’s more relaxed as of late, did actually take up classes again. Went to see her family. Said work had slowed down, but it was fine, apparently. “Told her and Haséyá to go have some fun.”

That would explain the text he got from his daughter. “I see.”

“She won’t be back until Sunday afternoon.”

Jimi smells really nice today. “Uh huh.”

“So… I thought we could watch movies, or something.”

“... Oh.”

She does not want to watch no damn movies.

It’s Friday night and Magnus is not alone and he doesn’t really need to concern himself with opening the shop tomorrow. Or for the whole weekend. Jimi is dressed simply in a shirt and sweats and what seems to be little else, now that he takes a good look at the dips of her chest. Jimi is turned towards him on the couch, same as the first night she returned, only this time she’s not asking how he’s doing.

The offer has stayed open all these years and now she gives him an answer. Yes, now, because if not, when? Magnus’ breath catches, and her fingers brush his knee, and the walls he had started building up again atop his mound of grief come crumbling down.

Jimi’s hand is small against him. Her skull, too, feels tiny cradled in his hands as he threads long fingers into her thick hair to draw her face near. Magnus only sees half as well as he used to, yet he plainly sees that beneath the care and sweetness that is Jimi is a pain he can’t identify. He asks if she’s sure and she nods her consent. The last time they kissed outside of the holiday season was on that doomed date. Kissing her feels like tasting the rain after a long drought, only it pours, and pours, and pours.

Magnus pulls back from the deluge and the whimper Jimi lets out takes the rest of the air from him. He takes her hands in his own, kissing her palms and fingertips, unsure if they are promises or apologies. Jimi accepts them all the same. She accepts his touch everywhere; rough calluses over smooth skin, a vice grip on her soft hip, and his longing into the aching core of her.

For her, he tries to be a gentle lover, but Jimi doesn’t let him. She doesn’t look at him much, but they both have a lot of hair in the way, and with him having only one eye, Magnus isn’t sure if he wants to glimpse anything other than whatever pain drove her back here. This, at least, is familiar territory to him, so when she claws at him and holds him tighter, closer, he ducks his head down, and gives it back tenfold.

He buries himself in her and with it he tries to bury that grief, that guilt, the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘could be’s’ that haunt him every time he looks into the mirror and sees that pale ghost staring back at him. It’s far less than she deserves, but Jimi takes it all the same, and in turn does not allow him to ride the bliss that follows release. No, she drags more from him with biting nails and pleading cries, with a voracity that shatters any illusion of innocence he may have still held towards her.

Jimi’s arduous cries turn to shouts, turn to sobs, and eventually, their mingled, labored breaths. In the wake of the storm there is stillness, and silence, and for a while, there is no loneliness.

It’s been twenty years or more since Magnus has shared a bed with anyone through the night. He never did with Mari, and the last person he remembers doing so with is dead. But Jimi stays with him until morning and it’s not as strange as it could be when he wakes up and she’s smiling at him. Wearing his shirt. Pushing his hair from his face and chiding him for not tying it up.

He doesn’t ask if she was thinking of someone else, too, in the dark. In the morning light, she’s looking at him, kissing him, swinging her legs over his hips and sinking down onto him. Jimi moves like the waves and Magnus lets her pull him under.

Afterwards, once she’s cleaned up and he finally manages to rouse himself from bed and do the same, he finds Jimi in the kitchen. The tea she claimed she’d make is unbrewed. Instead, she stands at the sink, the water running over her fingers as she stares with an unreadable expression.

It’s the crack in the otherwise perfect image of her standing in his kitchen, in his shirt, still wearing his scent. Maybe this will only last the weekend. Maybe this is all he’ll ever have. But he had nothing before, has nothing with Charles dead, so he’ll hold onto what little he has, however long he has.

“Hey,” Magnus says softly, jolting Jimi out of her trance.

“Oh, hey.” Her smile is weary. “Sorry, I guess I just kinda zoned out there.”

Magnus says nothing at first. Just closes their distance and wraps his arms around her. With their height difference, her face presses to the center of his abdomen. “It’s okay.”

Jimi’s arms wind around him, too. For a moment, he feels the gravity of a collapsed star, and his raspy voice fills the void. “It’s okay.”

[Soft OTP Prompts]

[lamuradex]

Friday Kiss Tag ❤️

Thank you for the tag @the-golden-comet. Always appreciated.

Rules: From Your Story/WIP, share a kiss. It can be any kiss, from familial pecks on the cheek, forehead kisses, platonic smooches, to full-blown makeouts.

And for excerpts without a kiss, you can use this post as a writing share! :

Rules: Share a snippet of your writing!

Haven't done in tag in over a week. Been buried in trying to keep the momentum up to get Ninth Realm finished.

A lot of fun so far with a lot more romance in it than I initially planned, but that isn't a bad thing. So, let's have a kiss.

Barely a kiss, but we do later find them in bed together, so yeah.

Anyway. Here we go:

-

Some time on the rowing machine, and then onto the treadmill. He was a half a mile into his run when he became aware of someone else. Hunter was waiting in the doorway in sports gear.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked.

“I’ve never minded before,” Mike answered, slowing his run so he could talk.

“I know. It’s just things feel different now. Didn’t know if maybe you wanted to be alone.”

“Do you know what? I think I’ve been alone enough recently. I can’t think about all this shit anymore. False memories, evil scientists, aliens, Reggie…” His voice cracked but he swallowed and soldiered on. “I need to do something. And if it isn’t hunting down those creeps responsible, then it’s this.” He stopped the machine so he could lift some weights instead.

"You should have a spotter,” Hunter agreed.

Mike shot him a small look. He was only doing dumbbell curls.

“Sorry, clumsy metaphor,” Hunter explained. “What I meant is, you don’t have to do things alone. You know that, right?”

“I do. It’s just difficult. I can never just ask…”

“I get that,” Hunter smiled. “Pride cometh before the fall though. I used to hate asking my parents, or anyone for that matter, for any kind of help. But then I realised something. Your friends want to know how to help you. They want you to tell them.”

“It’s just…” Mike hesitated, formulating the thought. “I don’t really know what to do anymore. Without him.”

“Hey, welcome to the boat. We’re all in it,” Hunter patted his shoulder. “We’ll find a direction though. We’ve got one for the moment, hunting Solace. After that… we’ll work that out too, I’m sure of it. People have work, we’ll do jobs. Simple.”

Mike didn’t looked convinced, but he did smirk. “You ever thought of being a motivational speaker, Hunter? Because I’d advise against it.”

“Ouch!” Hunter said cattily. “All I mean is, we’ll keep doing stuff together. We’re a team. We’re all friends. More than that in places, but we’re all together. You understand that, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t walk out on you guys.”

“Always good to hear, but you don’t need to do it alone, is all. You don’t need to do anything alone." Hunter came and sat beside him. “There are things people can do together.”

Mike curled an eyebrow alongside his arm. “Another clumsy metaphor?”

“Less a metaphor, more a… double-entendre.”

“A clumsy one,” Mike chuckled. “But, before we do anything else, let’s get a workout in.”

“I can think of a good workout.”

Mike stared over his shades at him.

“Alright, that was a clumsy metaphor,” Hunter admitted, putting a hand on Mike’s shoulder and leaning in to kiss his cheek.

-

And there we go. Having a lot of fun with this book, so I'll still be pretty quiet until it's finished most probably. I'm 80K words in and still have a way to go.

Anyway tags:

@wintherlywords @stephtuckerauthor @fayeiswriting @mikathewriter @sableglass @agirlandherquill

By the way, if anyone doesn't want to be tagged, or alternatively would love to be tagged, feel free to let me know. Currently I'm just tagging Writeblr mutuals, as best as I can work out.

[penny00dreadful]

WIP Weekend! 🎺🎺🎺

Thank you for the tag @nburkhardt I'm excited for this! 😘🖤

The Rules:

In a reblog (or a new post w/ rules attached) post up to five (5) file names of your wips. Not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We're posting progress here. If you haven't made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you've posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That's it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

The WIPS:

(I'm usually much more organised with my file names)

Assistant Steve Harrington

Comeuppance

DND

Through The Valley

Return of The King

The Snippet:

From Through The Valley

“Munson, if she has something over you that makes you think you can’t switch to the better team then you’ve got to know we can help you out. No matter what it is. You have a lot of respect in this community, we could use that. And you wouldn’t be stuck acting as some little girls guard dog-”

Eddie swung around, pressing the barrel of his rifle into Chester Hagan’s neck, backing him into the wall. Hagen immediately threw his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide with fear, looking like he was about to piss himself.

“What if I like being a little girl's guard dog, what then?”

Hagen swallowed, shifting the muzzle ever so slightly around his throat. “S- so is it a sex thing? Because I’m sure we could find-”

“For the sake of your own head I’m encouraging you to stop talking now.”

“Right, right. Yeah. I’m… I’ll stop talking.”

“Good. Now listen to me very carefully. Under no circumstances whatsoever will I be persuaded, coerced, bought or bullied away from Nancy’s side. This town voted her their leader and unless the majority no longer wants her overlooking things, it’s going to stay that way.” He pushed the barrel of the gun in harder, right under his jaw. “But if I ever get approached by you or one of your goons trying to get me to switch sides or go behind Nancy’s back for information again, I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your eye. We both know I’ll do it and I won't lose a wink of sleep over it."

😳🥵

No pressure tags! I'm sorry if you've been tagged already, my brain is ✨liquid✨ @augustjustice @mentallyundone @hardboiledleggs @every-aj-needs-an-angel @scoops-stevie @estrellami-1 @grimmfitzz

[omniblades-and-stars]

ROY G BIV tag

tagged by @outpost51 and thereby inciting a panic but also I want to play.

Rules: Search your your writing for the colours of the rainbow and post the excerpt.

this is me tagging whoever wants to play!

look under the cut because this is bound to be out of control

RED

From: The Last Time (A Game of Cat and Mouse)

The door cracked open and the first thing out of it was a slender, human, woman's foot. It was clad in a precarious, ruby red high-heeled shoe, a thin strap buckled around a delicately arched ankle. Her legs, shapely and well-toned, were covered by sheer black stockings. A pronounced seam ran up the length of her calf, disappearing behind her knee and beneath the hem of a charcoal gray skirt so tight, it could have been a second skin.

ORANGE

From: following the current, circling the drain

Something burns in my leg and my stomach, but I can’t stop moving. If the krogan gets his hands on me, I'll die. I leap onto his back, I nearly drop the assault rifle, it’s too big for me. I launch myself from his crest plate and fire down into his neck while I’m still in the air. It's sloppy, it's messy, it's too fucking loud. He’s still coming, and I just keep firing. It's over. I'm covered in blood, indigo, cadmium orange, and my own emerald. A cruel painting in brilliant organic color. I run to Tertus. He's already dead. Honey eyes glassy. Jaw lax, mandibles hang limp next to his dear, sweet face. I scream, everything hits me all at once. The fear, the anger, the heartbreak. But I have no time, I hear more boots on the ground, and I am surrounded by bodies and covered in blood. I don't hesitate. I leap into the river and follow the current to somewhere new.

YELLOW

From: Suck It Up, Buttercup

"You gonna walk in front so that bright fucking armor of yours draws all of the fire?" "Says the man wearing sunflower yellow! If you wanted to look at my ass, all you had to do was say so. Now, enough dicking around, let's move out." Frankie pointed above her head and spun her hand in a tight circle. "After you, sweetheart," he said with a touch of sarcastic daring. "Gonna have to work harder than that to get under my skin, bounty hunter. Keep trying, I like seeing you struggle.” She smiled and took her place at the front of the squad. Miranda and Zaeed fell in quietly behind her without further comment.

GREEN

From: Torment Me Until Dawn (Dragon Age)

He shuffled forward, one shoulder stooped severely, sword hanging limply from his hand. His movements were those of something not quite human. His skin had taken on a green tinge, and his face had a skeletal quality. Skin clung to his cheekbones as if there was no longer any muscle or fat to separate it from his skull. He had no visible wounds, except . . . Oh, Maker, his eyes! They were gone. Dark, brutalized and empty sockets existed where bright, light brown eyes had once been. The skin around them looked as if he had scratched his own eyes out - harsh, uneven grooves rent into his flesh. There were little trails of blood where tears might have been.

BLUE

From: Under the Rays of an Autumn Sun

I have always had a weakness for beautiful eyes. Humans have a saying, "The eyes are the windows into the soul." It's a sentiment I wholeheartedly share. Hers are a light brown that I am unused to seeing in humans, but they are heavy. I can see the weight she carries within them, evident in the red lines lightly spidering over the white space around her iris. Blue tinged glass presses to soft, bare lips, and she coughs as the liquid burns down her throat. A warm chuckle bubbles up after it, and she sits next to me. "I don't know if I'll ever learn," she shakes her head, chestnut waves brush against the sun-kissed and freckled skin exposed on her back. "Eden Shepard," she says and offers me her hand to shake. She is named after the holy garden of one of Earth's many creation myths. It suits her, I think, but the thought passes before I can fully understand why I feel that way.

INDIGO

From: The Way

It's in the way she can be so boastful without being arrogant. She calls herself a biotic bomb. At first, he thinks that smirk as she says it is cocky, and it is. But then he sees her in action. With biotics like that, she doesn't even need a gun. He knows the smirk isn't cocky, it's knowing. She's earned being cocky, the way she wields the forces of physics themselves. How the air shifts around her body just before she ignites brilliant indigo. The sudden change in air pressure around them as she reaches out to pull an enemy towards them takes his breath away. Or maybe it's just her that does that.

VIOLET

From: Tipping Point

Except that Commander Shepard was the one who wreaked this particular havoc, was still wreaking actually. She was standing dead center of the cargo deck, bathed in violet energy so intense it had pulled her hair free, it floated up around her as if she were underwater. She was wreathed by a glowing halo of her own power. It was terrible and it was beautiful all the same. Oh, shit.

[beautyofattolia]

Jake and Lo’ak (Avatar: The Way of Water)

Warning: this post contains spoilers for Avatar: The Way of Water! Do not read if you haven’t seen the movie yet, are planning on watching it, and you want to go into it blind. I will be discussing a LOT of things that go on in it.

This post is going to be a discussion/exploration of both Jake and Lo’ak as characters with a deep dive into their relationship. I loved a lot of the character development that went on in this movie and wanted to pick apart Jake’s arc in particular. I also thought the relationship between him and Lo’ak was one of the most interesting and well-developed ones in the movie and wanted to not only examine it closer but also make some predictions about where it’s going to end up in future movies.

Just to warn you now, this is going to be a LONG post (I have SO MANY THOUGHTS Y’ALL), so I’m including a “read more” tab. I don’t want to see this entire monster on my dash every time I look through my tags and I especially don’t want people who have no interest in this topic to have to deal with my ramblings while casually scrolling.

For those of you who want to come explore with me though…let’s dive in.

(I am so sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Introduction

I do want to start by saying that I have seen the movie twice. This analysis/exploration came to mind after the first time I saw it, but I wanted to watch it again with this idea in mind to double-check myself. I wanted to make sure I accurately remembered all the scenes I’m going to be discussing in this post. I’m not perfect and I’m sure there are things I have still managed to misremember or misquote, so please feel free to let me know if I’ve made any mistakes!

Honestly, I would love to see the movie two more times, AT LEAST, but I have no idea when that is going to happen and I wanted to get this done sooner rather than later.

There are also a few things I want to make very clear before I start. First, I absolutely adore both Jake and Lo’ak, so if you don’t and you’re looking to read something that completely bashes either one or both of them…this is not the post for you. Second, this post’s goal is not to convince you that you SHOULD love them or that how you feel about them or their relationship is wrong if you don’t agree with me. It’s not! Your feelings and opinions are completely valid, whether you like them as characters and their relationship with each other or not.

This post is simply a deeper exploration into why I think these characters behave the way they do in this movie and why I believe their relationship is the way that it is. I have seen people claim things like “Jake doesn’t love his kids” or “Jake doesn’t love his sons” or “Jake doesn’t love Lo’ak” and I, personally, think all of these statements are false based on what the movie presents to us as viewers and this post is an explanation of why I believe that.

All that to say, if none of this is up your alley, please stop reading now. I’m not here to hate on anyone’s feelings or thoughts or opinions. I’m only here to share my own, explain why I think the way that I do, and break down and explore two characters I love and the relationship they share (which I also love), in a movie that I adore. I deeply enjoy engaging with and analyzing media that I love. I can’t make fanart and fanfiction is very hit or miss for me (when I’m writing, I love reading it), so this is kind of the only way I have of showcasing my love for a fandom and series that has held my heart captive since I was fourteen.

“Jake Doesn’t Love His Kids”

I think this claim kind of goes hand in hand with the “Jake is a military dad” claim. While I do think Jake does have military dad moments in the Way of Water, I would hesitate to consider him 100% a military dad. Mostly because there is clearly a huge difference between him as a dad before the humans return and him as a dad after the humans return. I will be the first to admit that we don’t have a lot of footage from those first fourteen years, but from what we do see, it is clear there is a difference between pre-humans Jake and post-humans Jake.

Now, I consider pre-humans Jake to be who Jake really is as a dad. He’s much softer, much warmer, and overflows with love for his family. Every single moment of that sequence shows that. The look of awe when Kiri grabs his finger, how patient he is while teaching Neteyam how to fish, the way he holds Lo’ak against him when he and Neytiri tell the story of how they met, how he measures his kids’ heights on a pole in their home, even the way he breaks up the fight between Lo’ak and Kiri. It’s all consistent behavior that shows this is who Jake is as a dad naturally, without the world falling apart around him: soft, warm, loving, gentle, patient.

Then the humans come back.

Sometimes, when reading what people say about Jake as a dad, it feels like they don’t understand why there’s a change between pre-humans and post-humans. Why after a year of war, there’s a difference in how Jake parents his children, and how he behaves as a dad. Why he has become harder, someone who falls into moments of the military dad mentality.

And I don’t think the movie could be any clearer about why this happens.

They are now in the middle of a war and Jake is scared out of his mind.

Fear changes you as a person. You are not your best when you are scared, instead, you often become a version of yourself that you do not recognize and do not like. And the truth is that Jake is terrified out of his mind after the humans return. In order to cope with the fear he is now feeling, he falls back on the marine mindset because he thinks that is what is going to protect the people he loves.

Remember, that’s his whole thing. “A father protects his family. That’s his one job.” That statement is literally Jake’s core belief about what it means to be a parent and what his responsibilities are to his kids.

Now, I’ve seen this statement criticized for being sexist. Like, “oh fathers protect, but what do mothers do? Stay home and twiddle their thumbs?” and I think this misses the point entirely. Jake is not saying that at all. He does not think Neytiri is weak or somehow lacking in her ability to protect their kids because she is their mother. I mean he literally goes to her at the end and is like “I need you. I cannot rescue our children alone.” He needs her because they are mates and partners and these children are THEIR children and she is the most badass badass to ever be badass on Pandora and probably in the universe. And Jake knows that! He loves that! The man looks at his mate slaughtering people and is like “oh my God babe YES!” His statement is not that fathers are the only ones who protect. He states that it’s the parents’ job to protect their children, but he is making it personal for himself. His role in this family is the father. He refers to himself because he is making himself focus on his failings as a parent. He’s basically saying to himself “your one job as their father is to protect them and you are failing it.” He is judging himself, saying he himself has fallen short and failed, not saying that mothers can’t or shouldn’t be focused on their children’s protection.

This mentality, that a parent’s one job is to protect their kids, is why he is terrified when the humans return. Or at least one of the reasons. I think Jake is a really complex character with a lot of baggage and while not all of it is explored in the Way of Water, I think most of it is and the rest is at least hinted at. The movie focuses on his fear of the humans hurting his family, but there are other reasons why Jake is scared too.

When you think about it, Neytiri and the kids are the only family Jake has left. They are all Jake has. He has no one else. Tom is dead and while we don’t know much about their parents, we know they aren’t in the picture for one reason or another because Jake doesn’t consider them at all when he leaves. The life he has built with the Na’vi is the only life that he has. They are his whole world: his family, his friends, and his people. And the humans have the power to take that away, to hurt the people he cares about more than anything else in the world. I can’t help but think back to the first movie, in the extended version (the BEST version), where Jake says “all I’ve ever wanted was a cause worth fighting for.” And guess what? His family and the Na’vi people are now his cause!

So we have his fear of losing his family driving him, but I think we also have his fear of letting down the Omatikaya people as well. I think Jake deals a lot with guilt and I think part of his desire to fight the humans comes from feeling like he still has to make up for what he did in the first movie. Like he 100% loves them, but I do think he is still trying to prove that he belongs, that he is sorry for what he did, and that he is on their side. Jake is afraid of losing his place with the Na’vi, of not only losing the people he loves, but the life he loves too. The community he loves. The world he loves.

He is full of fear and the humans returning brings all of that fear right to the forefront of his mind. And as a result, he lets that fear take over and whenever you let fear take over, you become a lesser version of yourself. And Jake’s lesser version of himself, the one ruled by fear, is harder, colder, and not the kind of dad his kids needs or that he wants to be.

I want to make it very clear that the movie does not present this behavior as healthy or right. In fact, the movie makes it clear that Jake is making mistakes in how he handles his children, specifically Lo’ak (we’ll talk about that specifically in a bit). Neytiri herself is the voice of reason for Jake when she tells him “you are too hard on them” and “this is not a squad, it is a family.” I think this again provides a little more evidence that this is not how Jake was as a dad before. If Neytiri is troubled by his behavior now, there is no way she would have let Jake parent their children like this for fourteen years. Neytiri is not afraid of speaking her mind, especially not with Jake. She would never sit back and let something she disagrees with happen, especially not for YEARS. I do think in this instance, she understands why Jake is acting the way he is (they are bonded after all), which is why she reminds him throughout the movie of how he should be behaving gently and not flying off the handle at him. 

Back to the “family, not a squad” scene though, Jake answers he was afraid they had lost Neteyam and Lo’ak, and again that shows how scared he is of losing the children he loves. It highlights Jake’s fear. The movie is saying “Jake is making a mistake but this is why he is making the mistake.” That’s Jake’s whole arc throughout this movie! Him making mistakes with his kids and then realizing he was wrong the whole time. The movie makes that very clear! So I do get a bit frustrated when people criticize the movie for having Jake be a military dad when the movie very clearly shows that lots of Jake’s parenting choices are wrong.

But just because he makes mistakes doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his children. In fact, the reason why he makes those mistakes is because he loves his kids so freaking much that he is consumed with the fear of losing them and that fear turns him into a person who is so bent on protecting them that he pulls away from them emotionally and becomes someone harder and colder than he was before.

I also want to take a second and mention how much I appreciate that Jake is never physically hard on his kids. I think one of the stereotypes of the military dad persona is corporal punishment and that is honestly never a thing for Jake, which is a huge relief to me. Obviously, he is much more physically affectionate in the pre-humans era, but even in the post-humans era, he is still physically gentle and warm with his kids. He holds Tuk when she asks for it, he is physically supportive of Kiri when she tells him how she feels, he hugs Neteyam and Lo’ak when he saves the two from Quaritch at the beginning, he cups Lo’ak’s cheek at the end, he hugs both Lo’ak and Spider after the battle. Even when he is angry with Lo’ak and grabs him to pull him away from Tonowari and Ronal, he is still gentle. His touch is never shown to be aggressive or painful or a punishment. His kids never flinch away from him. Even when Jake is upset with them and leaning into the scared military dad persona or the angry commanding officer persona, his kids do not fear his touch. And I think that is so important because it shows how much he loves them, how much they love him, and how Jake really is a warm, gentle dad who is just scared out of his mind and desperately trying to protect his kids. The movie shows him making a lot of mistakes in this movie, but the way he is physically there for his kids is not one of them.

I think the movie does an incredible job at comparing and contrasting the dad Jake really is (pre-humans) and wants to be with the dad Jake becomes when he lets fear consume his life (post-humans). He isn’t a military dad because he doesn’t love his children, he loves his children so much that he thinks becoming a military dad is the only way to save them. And the movie straight up says “no Jake, that’s wrong and here’s why.” Parents are people who make mistakes and who have to grow and change to be better people and better parents. Loving your children doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes, but it does mean that you need to constantly be aware of how your choices are affecting your children and make changes when needed. And I think Jake’s entire arc throughout this movie is him realizing he is wrong and then making that change at the end of the movie to be better.

“Jake Doesn’t Love His Sons”

A lot of people have been commenting on the fact that there is a difference between how Jake treats his daughters, Kiri and Tuk, and how he treats his sons, Neteyam and Lo’ak. Specifically, they claim that Jake loves his daughters more than he loves his sons. Again, I do think this is proven wrong by the movie. Now, I will say, there is definitely a difference in the post-human treatment of the girls vs. the boys, but I don’t think it has anything to do with how much Jake loves them. I don’t even think it has anything to do with their gender!

I think it’s the direct result of Jake being Olo'eyktan and the one leading the Omatikaya into battle since Neteyam and Lo’ak are both young warriors. After all, Jake has no pattern of treating women differently than men throughout the movies. He doesn’t look down on Neytiri in the first movie because she is a woman. In fact, he is totally okay with her being his teacher and while they do fall in love (something that probably wouldn’t have happened if it had been like Tsu’tey teaching him instead), there is no point in which he views Neytiri less of a warrior because she is a woman. Jake also doesn’t respect Grace any less as a scientist than Norm or Max and he doesn’t think Trudy is any less of a marine than Quaritch or the other male marines. Jake even shows the same level of respect to Ronal as he does to Tonowari, similar to how he shows the same level of respect to Mo’at as he does to Eytukan in the first movie. Jake is not sexist. He has never had a problem with women in positions of power or authority. He does not treat women any differently than he treats men in any situation.

So no, I don’t think the reason why he treats his sons differently than his daughters has anything to do with sexism or even toxic masculinity, another thing I see people mentioning and which Jake has no history of ever displaying. I think the reason why he treats them differently is because his sons have roles that require him to approach them not as their dad, but as their commanding officer. The girls do not. THAT is where the difference lies.

Being a warrior/hunter is an important part of being part of the Omatikaya clan and Neteyam and Lo’ak are the only two children who fall into that category. Kiri does not, even though she is old enough. Much like Mo’at, who also doesn’t seem to be a warrior/hunter and instead seems to be more focused on healing (although being a Tsahìk doesn’t seem to mean you aren’t a warrior since both Ronal and Neytiri are, but throughout both movies we never see Mo’at assume a warrior role), Kiri seems to be more of a healer. A spiritual leader. There is never a moment where she appears to have any interest in being a warrior/hunter the way Neteyam and Lo’ak do. I do not believe she has gone through that process the way the boys have. She doesn’t even have a weapon at any point during the movie even though the boys have both bows and knives and even Tuk has a knife at the end. Tuk obviously isn’t a warrior/hunter either as she is still too young. That may be in her future, but at the moment it is not.

But Neteyam and Lo’ak are. Or at least becoming? Someone can correct me if I am wrong, but it looks like maybe they both have completed their Iknimaya since they both appear to have their own ikran. I’m a bit iffy on that since there is no real confirmation either way, but the evidence does seem to lean toward the fact that at the VERY LEAST, they are warriors/hunters in training close to becoming full-fledged warriors/hunters. Regardless of official status, it is clear that they both are given some responsibilities when it comes to fighting alongside the older warriors. And as Olo'eyktan, Jake is their commander. He is the one who leads the warriors into battle and I think this is what causes him to treat the boys differently.

He is no longer just their father, he is also their commanding officer, and I think he struggles to find the line between the two. He tends to lean more into the commanding officer side, ESPECIALLY when it comes to chastising them for disobeying his requests as their father and his orders as their commanding officer. And again, I think the movie shows that this is a mistake on Jake’s part. He should be more focused on being their father than their commanding officer. I think in his desire to protect them from the horrors of war that they are very much involved in as members of the clan, he is falling back into treating them how he was treated as a marine to try and prepare them. Train them. Give them, in his mind, their best chance of survival. Again, I think it’s important to remember Jake’s background and that the only knowledge he has of how to be a commanding officer is the ones he had as a marine. That’s his entire fighting background! That’s what he knows and understands and can pass on to his sons. So that’s what he gives them.

I still don’t think he ever goes all the way there. I think about how he ALWAYS checks with Neteyam and Lo’ak to make sure they’re okay before anything else every time something happens to them. That’s the dad part of him coming out, making itself known and fighting against the commanding officer side that comes out when he is upset with the boys when they make mistakes. This is also where I think the “sir” comes from. You never hear the kids refer to Jake as “sir” in the pre-humans era and you don’t hear the girls use it at all. But the boys do. And the boys only do it when Jake is in commanding officer mode, giving them orders or chastising them for disobeying. For the majority of the movie, they refer to him as “dad.” It is only in those specific situations that “sir” comes out. I think the movie again leans into this being a mistake on Jake’s part, a way that he has failed the boys in the post-human era by disciplining them not as a father, but as a commanding officer.

One interesting note about the “sir” thing though, Ao’nung and the boys also use it in reference to Tonowari as well. This makes me wonder if it is the English translation of a word in Na’vi that is being used to show deference to the Olo'eyktan. I don’t know enough about the language to say for sure either way and I think my point above still stands either way as it is still Jake being more of a leader to his sons than a father, but I think it’s an interesting detail. One I would love to have some other thoughts on!

The main point is that Jake loves his boys as much as he loves his girls, but because his boys are warriors/hunters there is definitely this line he has trouble treading between being their father and being their commanding officer in a way he doesn’t have to worry about with the girls. He doesn’t have to balance two roles with them, they are simply his children while Neteyam and Lo’ak are older and have more responsibilities. They are warriors/hunters fighting alongside the other clan members whether Jake likes it or not because that is their right and duty as members of the Omaticaya. And so Jake struggles, losing sight of who he needs to be with them because he has to take on this extra role to keep both them and the other fights under his command safe. Because this is the only way he knows how to fight and he is scared that if he doesn’t prepare them, they are not going to survive. It is not an easy line to tread and while it does not excuse Jake, I think it makes it easy to understand why he is the way he is with Neteyam and Lo’ak vs. Kiri and Tuk.

“Jake Doesn’t Love Lo’ak”

And now we get into the main part of this post, which is insane considering how long it took to get here. I’m sorry. Except, you know, I’m really not. I had fun discussing the rest of it! And I am freaking excited to discuss this part too. This is the relationship that made me want to write this post, the relationship that I personally think is one of the most important ones in the entire movie.

The relationship between Jake and Lo’ak.

Now, I do want to first mention that how well you get along with someone is not always an indicator of how much you love them. Or more like, you can love a group of people equally but get along with each of them differently. For example, I have two sisters and I love them both equally, but I get along with my youngest sister better than my middle sister. My middle sister and I have personalities that clash more often so we fight more than I do with my youngest sister. But I would still die for either of them. And that’s the thing, you can love someone and still not always get along with them. That’s just part of being a person.

And I think that applies to parents and children as well. Parents can love all of their children equally, but that doesn’t mean they are going to get along with them all equally. There are going to be some that they clash with more often than others simply because every personality is going to be different and relate to each other in different ways.

And that’s the reason why Jake gets along differently with Neteyam than he does with Lo’ak. It has nothing to do with how much he loves them, it simply has to do with the fact that Jake and Lo’ak’s personalities are way too similar and they clash way more frequently as a result of that. That’s the heart of why Jake and Lo’ak have the kind of relationship they do: Lo’ak reminds Jake of himself in a way that none of the other kids do. And to a man who is already scared out of his mind for and about his children, seeing himself in Lo’ak scares him even more. 

They do such a great job throughout the movie showing the similarities between Jake and Lo’ak. There are so many scenes that draw a direct parallel between them, emphasizing their similarities. From the scenes played back-to-back in this movie showing Jake and Lo’ak trying (and failing) to ride the water creatures in the same determined (and cocky) way, to Lo’ak being attacked in the water in a way that parallels Jake being attacked by the thanator in the first movie. Then there are the little bits like Lo’ak flipping off Quaritch and the little speech he gives before decking Ao'nung that are so very much things Jake would have done himself. Even the parallels between Lo’ak bonding with Payakan as an outsider and Jake bonding with Turok also as an outsider to the way Lo’ak falls for his teacher, Tsireya, in a similar way Jake fell for Neytiri. The movie is purposefully and repeatedly showing us how similar Lo’ak is to his father.

They are both impulsive, headstrong, and quick to anger. And Jake sees all that, sees all the negative traits because at this point in his life, with all of his guilt and fear swirling around inside of him, that’s all he can see in himself as well. He has trouble seeing the good in himself, the strength of character, the desire to protect those he loves, and a heart open and willing to fully give for those he loves. All of which Lo’ak has as well, but because Jake fails to see the positive traits he himself has, he has trouble seeing the positive traits Lo’ak has, and therefore Lo’ak struggles to see the good in himself as well.

And I don’t say this as some kind of “Lo’ak is exactly like Jake” or something, because he’s not, but the movie does a lot to show how they are similar and how those similarities are the driving force behind why their relationship is the way it is.

I say all of this to explain why there is more tension between Jake and Lo’ak than between Jake and Neteyam. Lo’ak scares Jake more than any of his other kids because he sees in Lo’ak the same things he has in himself, things that led to him hurting others and, ultimately, himself. And I think Jake is terrified that Lo’ak is going to make the same mistakes he did and so he is harder and stricter with Lo’ak as a result. Again, I don’t think it has anything to do with how much he loves him. If anything, Jake loves Lo’ak so much that he’s determined to protect Lo’ak from his own faults and to prevent his son from following in his footsteps, and doesn’t see how that is hurting Lo’ak.

It’s so interesting to me that Jake tries to use the same tactics on Lo’ak that were used on him in the first movie which directly led to him rebelling against them even harder. And I know some people are going to be like “isn’t that stupid? Shouldn’t Jake KNOW those things won’t work on Lo’ak because they didn’t work on him?” And that’s what makes it so fascinating because it emphasizes the thing I think to be very true of all people: we are never more blind than when it comes to ourselves. Jake doesn’t know how to deal with Lo’ak in the way Lo’ak needs because he has no idea how to deal with himself. Because all he can see are his mistakes, his failures, and the way he has hurt people, and as he looks at his son whom he loves, all he can see are those things being repeated, and that terrifies him. And that fear once again, as is the continuing arc for Jake in this movie, overwhelms him and blinds him to what he needs to do.

Jake gets along better with Neteyam not because he loves Neteyam more, but because Neteyam’s personality is much calmer and steadier and because of that, Jake trusts him in a way that he can’t trust Lo’ak because he cannot trust himself. He’s still scared for Neteyam, but not because he’s scared Neteyam is going to do something stupid. He trusts Neteyam to think things through and be logical in a way he doesn’t trust Lo’ak to be because he himself isn’t logical. And I know that’s not fair, it’s not supposed to be fair. But here’s the thing: relationships aren’t always fair. We are constantly bringing our baggage and insecurities and personal failings into our relationships and even though it is so important to try to be fair and not let those things affect us, the truth is we are all people and we are all going to make mistakes. And this is one of Jake’s. One that the movie very clearly points out. It is not necessarily fair that Jake trusts Neteyam more than he trusts Lo’ak, but he does. And I think that lack of trust is what drives Lo’ak to act out and then results in Jake trusting him even less. It’s a cycle built on them seeing themselves in each other and failing to realize how to deal with it.

Now, bear with me for just a moment because I’m going to go a bit off-script and discuss a headcanon of mine. None of this is canon and while I think there is evidence for it, there is no proof or confirmation. My argument works perfectly fine without it, but I do think it is interesting to bring up simply for conversation and thought.

I think that Neteyam reminds Jake of Tom. And I know we have no real evidence of what Tom was like or what his relationship with Jake was like, but I’m sure James Cameron does and while he may not explicitly say it in a movie that is already super filled with information, I wouldn’t be surprised if he sprinkles in hints here and there. And I personally think Tom and Jake had a relationship very similar to the one Neteyam and Lo’ak have. Again, there is no proof of this, but it would make sense thematically from a movie standpoint for this to be the case. Since there is such a heavy emphasis placed on how similar Jake and Lo’ak are, it makes sense to me that Tom would be like Neteyam, the one who attempted to keep a younger Jake under control. Since Jake is twenty-two in the first movie and had been discharged from the Marines for a least a while, he would have had to have enlisted pretty young. My guess is right at eighteen. I also think Tom probably tried to talk him out of it and Jake, being Jake, refused to listen. This would be a direct parallel to how Neteyam tries to keep Lo’ak out of trouble and Lo’ak refuses to listen. This would be another reason why Jake encourages Neteyam to watch out for Lo’ak and tells Lo’ak to listen to his older brother. Another way he tries to keep his younger son from making the same mistakes he did. Again, none of this is canon, but it is a very interesting idea that I personally really like and I think fits really well with the story being told about these characters.

Another reason Lo’ak believes his parents, and especially his father, love Neteyam more than him is because he thinks they see Neteyam as the perfect child. While I don’t think they think of him as the perfect child, I do think they see Neteyam through rose-colored glasses because he is their firstborn child. Canonically, Neteyam was what gave Neytiri hope again after her home was destroyed and her father was killed. I want to dive deeper into Neteyam in a separate post (he deserves his own), but it’s definitely something I want to mention here because it does play into why Lo’ak sees himself as a failure and Neteyam as perfect. He’s not and I don’t think Jake or Neytiri think he is (or love him more) I simply think he is a symbol for both of them of redemption and hope and proof that after something terrible happens, good things can still happen too. Definitely not an easy thing to live with for either Neteyam or Lo’ak, but something that I think is relevant and needs to be discussed when dissecting these relationships. 

Again, this is not fair. But again, relationships aren’t fair. Parents are people too. They are not perfect. They are flawed, they make mistakes, and they stumble. The movie does not glorify this behavior, it simply explains why it is happening and then shows its negative effects.  

I think it’s ironic that Lo’ak talks about feeling like an outsider and tells Tsireya that his dad wouldn’t understand when I believe Jake is the only one who would ever understand. Mostly because I believe Jake still feels like an outsider, still feels like he has to earn his place among the people and that’s another reason why he is so filled with fear and even guilt. From what I’ve seen from the movie, even in the pre-human era, I don’t think Jake talked to his kids much about what it was like to be human. I think Jake is so determined to prove that he has left all that behind that he doesn’t help his kids understand that part of their heritage. And while I personally think that comes from a place of love and a desire to protect them (he doesn’t want them to feel different or like outsiders the way he does), it only serves to confuse Lo’ak who has the most human qualities. He doesn’t understand why he’s different and Jake hasn’t taken the time to teach him how to deal with and embrace those human qualities. Again, I don’t think it’s done purposefully, in fact, I very much believe that Jake thinks he is helping Lo’ak, but this is another way that the movie shows us that while Jake’s heart is 100% in the right place, he still makes a mistake. He still cannot understand how to give Lo’ak what he needs.

Jake struggles with guilt and is constantly trying to prove himself to the people. An example of this is when Neytiri argues with Ronal about how Jake was Toruk Makto and lead the people to war. Jake is clearly embarrassed by this and noticeably winces. He doesn’t like being referred to like that and I believe it’s because he still feels guilty. It would be like someone praising you for building them a new house when you were the one who burned down the original. You didn’t rebuild the house out of the kindness of your heart, you did it to fix the mistake you made. It is penance. And I think Jake views his time as Toruk Makto not as some great thing he did, but as him simply trying to fix his own mistake. Penance. Redemption. Correction. And I think it is so ironic that both Neteyam and Lo’ak are trying to live up to his ideal of the perfect warrior, the great Toruk Makto, that they see in their father and yet it is something that Jake is ashamed of. He doesn’t want his sons to follow in his footsteps, he wants them to be safe. But there is this critical lack of understanding between him as a parent trying to protect his sons and his sons as children trying to be like their father, not realizing that is the last thing he wants for them. It is a standard they can never meet because they are striving for the opposite of what Jake wants for them and it causes friction, especially between Jake and Lo’ak. It is another reason why Lo’ak constantly feels like a failure and Jake is so hard on him. They cannot See each other properly.

Their entire relationship and its push and pull comes to a head when Neteyam dies.

I know there are a lot of people talking about Jake blaming Lo’ak for what happens to Neteyam, especially since Jake tells Lo’ak “you’ve done enough” when telling him to stay behind. I want to make it very clear that I do not think it is ever okay to say that kind of thing to your child. And I 100% believe the movie makes a point of showing how that was totally not okay of Jake to say. But here’s the thing: I don’t think Jake ever for even a moment actually blames Lo’ak. Jake blames himself. He failed to protect his children, his whole family really, and Neteyam dies as a result. To add insult to injury, the only reason Neteyam was on the ship was to save his siblings because they were being held in order to capture Jake. That I think this is driven home when Quaritch literally tells Jake it’s his fault Neteyam is dead AS HE STANDS OVER HIS SON’S BODY! I also can’t help but think about Neteyam saying “I want to go home” right before he dies and how horrible Jake must feel about being the reason why his son was taken away from his home. And what is Neteyam’s last word? “Dad.” I believe Jake wonders about that last word and if it was a plea or an accusation, both of which would be heartbreaking for a father to consider.

Jake blames himself, in so many different ways, for Neteyam. For failing Neteyam. For not protecting Neteyam. For not being the father Neteyam needed. And that blame that he heaps on himself oozes out onto the person he sees himself in: Lo’ak. Again, this does not make this behavior okay. It simply explains why this behavior is happening. 

All of this leads us to one of my favorite scenes in the entirety of the movie: the scene where Lo’ak rescues Jake. I absolutely adore it because I think it’s the climax of everything that these two have been through together and individually.

Before I get into it, I do want to make a note about the beginning of the scene when Jake calls out Neteyam’s name. I’ve seen some people use this as evidence that Jake loves Neteyam more, but I disagree. I think this is the direct result of Jake thinking he is dead and waking up in Ewya with Neteyam. Once Lo’ak tells him who it is, you can see Jake snap back to reality and realize he is still alive and stuck in a sinking ship. And I want to talk about this next bit very carefully. Lo’ak apologizes for Neteyam’s death and even says something along the lines of “I’m so sorry, Dad” and then corrects it to “I’m so sorry, sir.” I believe the “sir” makes an appearance here because he is, in this moment, appealing not to his father, but to his commanding officer who he feels like he failed. You can see his shift from talking to Jake like a son to talking to Jake like a soldier and yes, this scene is heartbreaking and it’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to hurt you. It’s supposed to make you recoil a bit. It’s showing you how exactly Lo’ak is feeling and how exactly Jake has failed him as a father in the last year. Lo’ak is not reaching out to Jake as a son who has just lost a brother, but as a soldier who has just lost his fellow soldier. I’ve seen some people say that because Jake doesn’t tell him “it’s not your fault” he still blames Lo’ak. I disagree with this. Jake tells Lo’ak to “focus” and to “not think about the past” not because he still blames him, but because he is going into protective dad mode and is realizing that he is in danger of losing the only son he has left. And Jake is not going to let that happen. His next words are asking if Lo’ak knows the way out, showing that he is thinking about his son’s safety and his life. He doesn’t want Lo’ak to focus on something he cannot fix or change, he wants Lo’ak to focus on getting out and surviving. At this point, Jake isn’t planning on surviving as well, but he has to make sure that his son will. He is refusing to let another one of his children die. You can almost see the thought running through his head that he may have failed to save Neteyam, but he is not going to fail to save Lo’ak.

The next bit where Jake basically tells Lo’ak to leave without him and let him drown is also absolutely heartbreaking. I think Jake has given up at this moment because he thinks he has killed Quaritch and is sacrificing himself to pay for his sins. Again, Jake blames himself for everything that has happened and I think he believes that he deserves to die. For failing Neteyam, for failing his family, for failing the people. For not being enough. I’ve always viewed his taming of Toruk in the first movie as Jake being willing to die to make up for his mistake. The taming of Toruk was dangerous and could have easily gotten him killed but he knew it was the only way to prove to the people that he was on their side 100%. And once again, after putting his life on the line to save his kids, to kill the one hunting them down, he is ready to die to pay for his mistakes. This whole movie has been, on Jake’s side, an exploration of how he has tried and failed to keep everyone safe to the detriment of his relationships with his children, Lo’ak specifically, up to this point.

And then here comes the moment that made me well up and cry (again) in the theater. Lo’ak tells Jake he cannot lose him too. I think this is a purposeful word choice on Lo’ak’s part. He doesn’t say “the family can’t lose you too” or “the people can’t lose you too.” He says “I cannot lose you too.” What a powerful, beautiful moment where Lo’ak is vulnerable with Jake and admits that he, personally, needs his father, especially after losing his older brother. And you can see at that moment Jake SEEING Lo’ak and realizing that while he may have failed Neteyam, he can be and do better for Lo’ak. That is what makes him fight. That is what gets him going again. He decides at that moment to be there and be a better father for Lo’ak.

I know some people are going to be like “but he didn’t say that!” And to that I reply, it’s freaking subtext bro. Not everything has to be spelled out to be true. It’s in the way the characters act, the decisions they make, and the things they say. It’s the way that Jake chooses to fight after Lo’ak says that. The way he listens to Lo’ak as his son teaches him how to breathe. The way he puts his life in his son’s hands and finally does what Lo’ak has been wanting him to do this whole entire movie: trust him. Honestly, it is such a powerful moment of non-verbal storytelling, of Cameron showing us how their relationship is starting to change and evolve and become better. It’s that moment of trust between these two that allows Lo’ak to save Jake and then when Payakun shows up and saves both of them, Jake gets to see his trust in his son pay off. It is confirmation that Payakun is on their side, that he taking care of Lo’ak and the people, and that Lo’ak was right about him the whole time. 

And I’m sorry, but if you didn’t start to cry when Jake cups Lo’ak cheek and tells him “I See you, son” then you may not have a heart. Like, damn, that one really hit me. What an incredible, beautiful parallel to the scene in the first movie when Neytiri saves Jake and they tell each other “I See you.” Absolutely gut-wrenching in the best way. I know some people are going to say “that’s just a catch-all phrase!” And I mean, yeah, it kind of is, but it’s been set up to be that way. It was always used to express heavy emotions that were hard to put into words in the first movie and it is being used in the same way here. It is a moment of apology, of acknowledgment, and of acceptance from Jake to Lo’ak. A moment where Jake finally Sees his son for who he is, that he is more than the parts of himself Jake sees in him. That he is his own person, strong and capable and worthy of trust. Yes, Lo’ak pulls some stupid stuff, but it has always been because he is trying to prove himself to his dad and now Jake Sees him and accepts him and loves him.

I’m getting kind of emotional just thinking about it, holy hell. 

I think this moment is Jake apologizing for how he has treated Lo’ak, acknowledging that Lo’ak has grown and matured and become his own person, and accepting the person Lo’ak has become. Jake is giving his son his love and his trust and his pride. He is so proud of his boy, y’all! You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that there isn’t a stupid amount of pride in Jake for everything Lo’ak manages to do. He was proud of him for beating up Ao’nung, even though he didn’t want Lo’ak to know, and he is proud of him here at this moment. I think this moment is also about Jake realizing that he needs to do better. He needs to be better, for Lo’ak and the other kids. That he may have lost Neteyam, but he still has children left that he needs to be there for. Be better for. That he can no longer let his fear consume him because by letting fear rule his life, he lost one of his children. Not that it’s Jake’s fault really, that 100% rests with Quaritch and the other humans who are trying to slaughter people and take over an entire world, but I definitely think this is what he feels. And gosh that family hug at the end, with Jake holding on to Lo’ak, and then later when he pulls both Spider and Lo’ak close for a hug once again shows how much he loves his kids. All of his kids.

To kind of wrap up this section, I do want to mention the really interesting parallel that’s set up between Spider and Quaritch and Lo’ak and Jake. Spider and Quaritch start the movie on shaky ground and then grow closer throughout the movie. Then the village burning, the Tulkan hunting, and the final confrontation happen and their relationship is put to the test. Spider still chooses to save his dad, but he leaves him afterward, choosing to sever their relationship, at least for the time being. In comparison, Lo’ak and Jake start the post-human era of their relationship off to a shaky start and throughout the movie, it is strained more and more. Then Neteyam dies and their relationship is put to the test. And like Spider, Lo’ak chooses to save his father. But instead of their relationship being severed, Jake chooses to embrace Lo’ak and there is a beautiful moment of healing and acknowledgment that things need to become better. A direct contrast to how Spider and Quaritch’s relationship ends in this movie. 

All this leads to what I think is going to be coming up next, specifically for Jake and Lo’ak. 

The Future Movies

Considering we left with Jake realizing that letting fear rule his life has hurt his family and he can no longer live that way, I think we’re going to see a return to a more pre-human dad Jake. I believe he is going to go back to being softer, warmer, and much less of a military dad. I mean don’t get me wrong, Jake is still going to be fighting the humans and kicking ass, but his entire arc was him realizing how he failed Neteyam as a father and now he will be striving to be better for all his kids. Especially Lo’ak. 

I definitely think we’re going to see them become closer in the next movie. Since the Way of Water focused on the strife in the relationship, I think we’re going to see the next movie focus on the healing in their relationship. The way they complement each other in comparison to the way they clashed in this. Jake has accepted Lo’ak as his own person and while their similarities are still going to cause some tension (because they are people who make mistakes) I definitely think we’re going to see them grow stronger and Jake really take Lo’ak under his wing. I would also love to see Jake help Lo’ak come to terms with his human heritage and what it means to feel different from everyone else. I think it’s possible since this movie focused on how Lo’ak feels like an alien and focusing next on how he isn’t alone in that feeling would be an incredible way to complete his journey to understanding himself. I also really think these two are going to bond over their grief about Neteyam and I would LOVE to see them discussing the guilt each of them carries and work through it together. I know that’s a lot I want to happen and I don’t know how long the next movie is going to be and how much it’s going to have to cover. I am confident about them getting closer and their relationship being a cornerstone of the next movie, but as for how much we see of Jake and Lo’ak discussing being “other” or their guilt is harder to say. I think it would be great though and would fit so well with the story Cameron is telling about these two characters.

I also think we’re going to see more comparisons between Spider and Quaritch and Jake and Lo’ak. I think Jake and Lo’ak are going to be the positive father/son example, not because they’re perfect but simply because they have come to an understanding in the Way of Water and are learning to be better together. I’m not sure if Quaritch is going to get a redemption arc or not (I kind of don’t want him to since the things he has done are pretty unforgivable) but with Spider added to the equation it does give him a reason to try to be better. If he does, then I imagine their relationship will parallel Jake and Lo’ak’s. If not, then I think there will be a really interesting contrast between the two. Especially with how much Quaritch mimics Jake during the Way of Water, which is setting them up as foils to each other for the rest of the series.

But those are just a few thoughts about what I think will happen in regard to these characters in particular. I’m considering doing a theory post that contains all my theories about the future movies, but that would be a separate thing if I end up doing it. I’m just really curious to see where we go from here. I think they are setting up a lot in this movie in regard to these characters and I’m honestly so excited to see it pay off. This is kind of where I think it’s going to go after everything this movie set up, but I am well aware I could end up being dead wrong. Either way though, I am so excited to see what Cameron has in store! Especially since it’s almost all but confirmed that the Way of Water made enough money to greenlight movies four and five.

Woohoo! 

Conclusion 

I love these characters. Like, seriously, Jake and Lo’ak are two of my favorites in this whole series. And I adored their relationship. Not because it was perfect or even good most of the time, but because it was complex and interesting and real. I’m always going to be a sucker for a good romance (Jake and Neytiri literally have my whole entire heart and I’m a big fan of Lo’ak and Tsireya), but I enjoy familial relationships the most. Their complexity fascinates me. The way family members, whether blood or not, choose each other and would die for each other but also sometimes tear each other apart. The way they showcase the idea of legacy and inheritance and how we are shaped by those closest to us. The way they exemplify the idea that we can love people with our whole entire hearts and still hurt them more than anyone else. People always bring their own baggage into their relationships with others, but I think that baggage affects our family members more than anyone else. And I believe that to be especially true between parents and children since our baggage often is what makes us who we are and who we are affects who our children become, for better or worse. The way our parents shape us and the way we shape our parents. The burning, ripping, tearing way we love each other. How there is nothing a parent wouldn’t do for their child and how often children are blind to that. The way that love can also be so healing, so warm, so soft, so gentle. The duality of it. I just…ugh. I wish there were more complicated, real, powerful parent/child relationships in media like this. Ones that aren’t completely negative or completely positive. Ones that are a combination of both because that is so often how actual relationships between parents and children are.

I am so glad this movie had it.  

But listen, I’m not here to tell you that you have to like these characters. I’m not here to tell you that you have to think Jake is a good dad. That is a loaded opinion and everyone is going to have different ideas and beliefs regarding what it means to be a good parent. I personally think a good parent is someone who protects their children at all costs and puts their children’s needs above their own. And I think Jake does that. But the movie clearly shows us that there are problems with how he does it. He makes mistakes. He is flawed. And that ends up hurting all the kids, especially Lo’ak. And Jake’s big character arc is learning that and realizing he has to do better. And choosing to try. To change. 

I know some people are going to be frustrated with the fact that Jake never verbally says the words “I am sorry” or “I will be better.” But I truly do believe that “I See you, son” included an apology. And the decision to be better is subtext from watching him at the end of the movie. Watching him choose to trust Lo’ak. Watching him embrace his son. Watching him grieve and mourn Neteyam. And hearing him talk about how he can’t live in fear anymore. And since that fear was what was pushing him to be harder on his kids, harder on Lo’ak, then deciding to no longer give in to that fear shows him making that first step to being a better father to his kids. I believe Jake thinks he failed Neteyam and he is determined not to fail his kids anymore. The first step of fixing a problem, after all, is admitting you have one that needs to be fixed. Jake will be striving to be better next movie and I firmly believe Lo’ak will be right beside him the entire time. This is a duo I think is going to play an important role in all the movies to come. 

So yeah guys. This is my post exploring my thoughts on these characters and dissecting how they grow and change throughout the movie. Looking at how the movie presents them and how it explains the decisions they make. I’m just here to interact with a film I adore and characters I would die for. And yes, I am here to hit back a bit against the “Jake doesn’t love all his kids equally” rhetoric. Because I do believe it to be false. And this is my insanely long-winded explanation as to why I think that.

I have a few more posts in mind. The one I mentioned about Neteyam and his role in the movie as well as the one I mentioned about all my theories about what is going to happen in the next movie. I also would like to do one about Spider and maybe even one about Kiri. I also think one just going over the parts of the movie I loved would be a lot of fun. But I haven’t settled on anything yet! I’ve been working on this monster since I saw the movie for the first time on December 15th so who knows when I’ll be ready to do another one, ha! We’ll see what ends up happening. 

Anyway. After an INSANE 10,000 words (a total that is more than any essay I have ever written), we are finally at the end. That’s how much I love this movie, these characters, and their relationship. So much so that I wrote this monster for absolutely no reason than my own enjoyment. I regret nothing. My English major self really came through strong here. For anyone who managed to get to the end of this…holy hell, my friend. You’re the real one! I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings and exploration as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Till next time.

[larrydoinglaundry]

2022 writing self-evaluation✍️

Thank you @greenblueish for tagging me 💜

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 189 907 (woah)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Larry

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: love is a word, you gave it a name

Bookmarks: love is a word, you gave it a name

Comments: love is a word, you gave it a name

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I mean it has to be love is a word you gave it a name because that was a journey and somehow I finished it😭 and obviously because I took a biiig bite with that. The whole gender aspect, internalized homophobia, mental health issues, falling in love... there was a lot going on and three chapters in I wanted to give up so bad. But I didn't !

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

this does in no mean I am not proud of this work, I just wish I would have been able to write more for it. so it has to be I'm insatiable it's all your fault

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I love every single comment on ao3, I am beyond grateful for every single person who reached out in dms on twitter, and everyone who keeps hyping my fic up.

I can't share a favorite, I have so many.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Chapter 3 in love is a word. It was constant writing, deleting, crying, writing, deleting, crying... 💀 there wasn't even anything particularly difficult to write in that chapter ! It just didn't seem to flow at all. I had never wanted to give up so bad.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Didn't really surprise me per se, but I finally dared to put cunningulus and vaginal sex in my abo 😂 I had been hesitant to be very descriptive about it before, being too worried it turns my readers off. But I loved every second of it ! Pussy, folds, lips... 🤭 and judging by the comments and kudos, people didn't hate it.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

"I won’t forget you. And that you were, will always be, my first love, and my baby. My sweetest dove," Louis murmurs, fingers softly digging onto Harry's jaw. With a soft smile, he whispers, "Will always be my bumblebee."

Harry should be able to say something equally sweet, something just as beautiful, but he can’t, because his brain is short circuiting, and his throat is burning again with the sobs that will probably never end.

Much to his relief, Louis sees it all, and chooses to kiss him to spare him from having to come up with something to say.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

hmmm. I think my general skills as a storyteller developed a lot. I feel like on some parts IIIAYF is written way better than LIAW. And while I haven't published my wip yet, I think for the most part it's a lot better than anything I put out this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope, again, that I could stop being so hard on myself but that will probably never happen.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@stylesthebrave my beloved, and everyone I met on twitter this year.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

hehehehe. Always. Yes. Something. One shall never know what.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don't worry about cliches, stories that have already been written, authors that are getting more attention... The story that's planned in your head is unique, and no one else can write it the way you do. Your mind is beautiful.

And most importantly, your worth is not measured by statistics.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Finish the sequel to LIAW ! Hallelujah ! And starting my cliche fic heheh.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has already done this so I don't know :(