#fuck off and leave tosh alone. and this will work because dean winchester will immediately malfunction upon being kissed by a man because | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quietwingsinthesky · 9 months ago

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if there was a torchwood/spn crossover, jack would get shot in the head so much. i know he already dies a lot, but he’s going to die so many times during this crossover. keeps getting bullets unloaded into him. they stab him with silver and steel and copper and none of it keeps him down. he’s gonna get squirted with borax and that one’s not gonna kill him but it is going to ruin his coat, which is materially worse for him.

#also gwen cooper would wrestle dean to the ground and beat him half to death #ianto is going to get himself possessed. im not saying he doesn’t take every precaution he knows how to against it. im saying he does and it #doesnt work <3 #i think sam and tosh could be friends :) (<- actually means they’re just both stuck in ‘make this conversation go as smoothly as i can by #masking so fucking hard. so that i can leave sooner’ mode.)#and i think owen would kiss dean on the mouth because it would make him so uncomfortable and owen can and will use his ability to be an #asshole without regret for the good of the team. especially if this moment is directly a result of like. Dean hitting on Tosh while she’s #clearly not into it. Owen is going to kiss that man at the risk of getting shot just like jack has 17 times in a row just so that he’ll #fuck off and leave tosh alone. and this will work because dean winchester will immediately malfunction upon being kissed by a man because #now he doesn’t know whether to direct his homophobic impulses at owen (<- unaffected by anything he could say.) or himself (<- guy who #believes being gay works like cooties.)#and in the background you can see jack sort of gently put his hand over toshiko’s and she releases a pen she was holding onto very tightly #and this is the part where you realize Oh She Was Going To Stab Dean In The Knee With That If He Didn’t Stop.#i also think Jack should get to kiss Crowley. i think they’d both be into it and it’d be funny. i think they should reference that they’ve #been off-and-on lovers for years actually. (gwen: you’ve been sleeping??? with the king of hell???? || Jack: see i don’t know why this is #surprising to you.) (ianto has been standing there with his mouth slightly open for a full minute. long enough for crowley to comment on it #and for owen to jokingly try to shut it for him. (cue short impromptu slap fight as ianto bats his hands away and then owen gets too into #defending the honor of his poor slapped away hands.) but anyway. <3 ianto you’re into guys you really need to come to terms with this at #some point sir. jack is *not* your exception this is an all day job.)

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