#i don’t know if i like it
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wrote a little hurt/comfort thing because of the cancellation and the fact that i won’t see my glorious queen niko ever again, ft. a very sad edwin & established payneland :’)
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“I miss Niko,” Edwin says one day, barely louder than a whisper, when there are no cases to be solved and the rain pouring outside the office is particularly heavy. And, it’s one thing to think it — god knows he’s always thinking it — but saying it aloud is another thing entirely.
There is a feeling of grief that hangs over him like the rain clouds outside, that never really leaves, always eating away at his soul like the awful, hungry thing it is. Sometimes he worries that, eventually, there won’t be anything left for it to eat, and he will simply cease to exist.
The grief is always there, but today, it’s worse than usual. It’s unbearable.
If Edwin needed air, he would be short of it. His chair is the most uncomfortable thing in the world, at the moment, as his hands clench into fists around the fabric of his trousers repeatedly. His mind focuses solely on the grief, in a way he rarely ever allows.
“I know,” Charles tells him finally, and “I do too,” is communicated just as clearly. Charles gets up from his spot on their sofa — that really is too low to the ground for either of them — and makes his way over to the desk.
For a moment, Edwin thinks he is going to perch on the edge of it, as he usually does, but instead he steps closer, leans down, peppers gentle, sorry kisses on the top of Edwin’s head. Edwin takes ahold of Charles’s burgundy polo shirt, and clings to it like a lifeline. But that’s what it is, isn’t it? Charles is the only thing keeping him from falling completely apart.
Charles wraps strong arms around Edwin, pulling him into an embrace, so tight it feels like he’s trying to somehow crush Edwin’s pain, and that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Edwin has never been one to cry, not outside of Hell, at least, but Hell was something entirely different. Now though, his tears spill over as if he had just been torn to shreds again, as if he were still stuck in the worst place, with the worst people, as if he were still being tortured, as if crying was something he did regularly.
Niko would have tried to cheer him — them — up, if she were here, but if she were, well they would not be sad at all. Edwin wishes sorely that he did not have to be sad.
It is unfair, is what it is. It is unfair that Niko is dead. Someone as kind, and caring, and charming as Niko did not deserve to die, to be killed.
It is unfair that Edwin was given a friend, only for her to be ripped away from him. Only for him to have to watch it happen.
Edwin holds onto Charles a little tighter.
He doesn’t keep track of how long they stay like that, but at some point Charles starts crying too, and at another, the both of them manage to stop. Sometime after that, Edwin is able to let go of Charles’s shirt, and Charles pulls away enough to see Edwin’s face. He is sure it isn’t a pretty sight to behold.
And yet Charles smiles a sad sort of smile, and presses a kiss to Edwin’s lips. Edwin’s stomach swoops and his still heart flutters, the way it always does when they kiss. He does not think he will ever get used to it, but he is alright with that.
Niko would have cheered. She would have grinned so wide, and lamented about her inability to take a picture of them. Edwin’s eyes sting, but the tears don’t return.
“She would have loved this — us,” He says, when they eventually break apart. The sound of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard. “She would have been so happy. I told her of my confession in Hell, you know. I wish I could have told her of this. I wish she could see us now.” I wish I could see her now.
Charles kisses his nose. “I bet she can, love. Bet she’s smiling.”
Edwin opens his mouth to say something, once, twice, too many times, to no success. Instead, he offers a small nod.
He recalls something he told her on the roof of the Tongue & Tail, the day everything happened. The day he lost her. “No one is ever gone,” He had said. Maybe she is looking down on them. Maybe she really is smiling.
It is a proper nice thought, but it doesn’t fix the part of him that longs to see her again. It doesn’t fix the part of him that longs to watch Scooby Doo with her, and solve the cases before the characters manage to. It doesn’t fix his longing to hear her voice again, to hug her again, to be with her again.
He kisses Charles once more, and misses Niko still.
#sillygirlwriting#honestly really nervous to post this#i don’t know if i like it#please be nice but tell me what u think 😣#fanfiction#i’ve never posted writing on here like this woagh#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#niko sasaki
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Warm up @tangledinink Swanatello
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#swanatello#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#I use to do a lot of dance drawing studies and swanatello reminded me of it#I don’t know if I like it
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What do we think?
Bro looks so done w everything 😭
#francis mosses#thats not my neighbor#milkman#thats not my neighbour milkman#thats not my neighbour francis mosses#thats not my neighbour fanart#i don’t know if i like it#i’ve actually never drawn a man before#so…
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Truck up against the porch for loading apples <3
#I don’t know if I like it#But have some buff af applejack#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#artblr#illustration#mlp art#mlp oc#mlp#my art#digital art#mlp fim#mlp g4#mlp fanart#my little pony#applejack
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Trading hats
#south park#south park art#those hats are definitely musty as all heck#they literally sleep in those things#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#also a little bit of an art style change#I don’t know if I like it
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I don’t like to post on here but I have been obsessed with @bluepeachstudios works for a while now. I did a redraw of their artwork from the first chapter of Nini which I love to no end. Hope you like it…
#tmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt ghost in the shell#tmnt the eldest brother#tmnt nini#i don’t know if i like it#did i do this right?
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i got lozenges i’ve never tried before and they having some sort of numbing thing because the back half of my tongue is numb as hell but my throat feels wonderful so pros and cons
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finally something interesting
#this is in reference to tales of the empire#mostly because of thrawn and vader#the whole barriss inquisitor storyline they’re pitching is insane#i don’t know if i like it#we’ll see#tales of the empire#tcw#star wars
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I may or may not be (trying) to make a dsaf fan game
first look at the version 1 of the logo design- i don’t know if like the designs of the mascots—-
I kinda have the base of the story down but I’m having a bit trouble with the fleshing out of it-
I have made a game before but it was a text story based game made with twine so working with RPG maker MV will be a different experience…
#dayshift at freddy's#dayshift at freddys#dsaf#jack kennedy#dave miller#dsaf dave#dsaf fanart#dsaf dee#dsaf oc#uhhh#i don’t know if i like it#i don’t know if this makes sense#E-DOODLES
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Personally, I suffer from chronic knees.
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got my hair cut and i look like fabienne from fucking pulp fiction. WHATEVER
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what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.
#aelan speaks#fornax cain#fun fact i used to think imposter syndrome was more literal#not so much “i don’t deserve this good thing and i’ve somehow tricked people into thinking i do”#but more like “i am straight up not a person and everyone knows it”#“and i am TRYING to be a person but i can’t get it right and they all KNOW and i should not be here but i don’t know where else to go”#anyway i was a normal child
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hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️
#jillian.txt#believe it or not there is not an active vagueposting situation happening so you don’t have to worry i’m doing the vagueposting here#100% serious about this btw i will keep your secrets and hype you up. i just like to know what’s going on
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
#lol good luck finding all of the photoshopped versions in the rb history. ‘manatee restored’ is still my favorite of all time#misc#I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped#it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially#the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm#which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water#as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun#it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here#I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances#also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential#so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export#but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image
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