#i don’t know if i like it

[pinklemonslices]

wrote a little hurt/comfort thing because of the cancellation and the fact that i won’t see my glorious queen niko ever again, ft. a very sad edwin & established payneland :’)

—

“I miss Niko,” Edwin says one day, barely louder than a whisper, when there are no cases to be solved and the rain pouring outside the office is particularly heavy. And, it’s one thing to think it — god knows he’s always thinking it — but saying it aloud is another thing entirely.

There is a feeling of grief that hangs over him like the rain clouds outside, that never really leaves, always eating away at his soul like the awful, hungry thing it is. Sometimes he worries that, eventually, there won’t be anything left for it to eat, and he will simply cease to exist.

The grief is always there, but today, it’s worse than usual. It’s unbearable.

If Edwin needed air, he would be short of it. His chair is the most uncomfortable thing in the world, at the moment, as his hands clench into fists around the fabric of his trousers repeatedly. His mind focuses solely on the grief, in a way he rarely ever allows.

“I know,” Charles tells him finally, and “I do too,” is communicated just as clearly. Charles gets up from his spot on their sofa — that really is too low to the ground for either of them — and makes his way over to the desk.

For a moment, Edwin thinks he is going to perch on the edge of it, as he usually does, but instead he steps closer, leans down, peppers gentle, sorry kisses on the top of Edwin’s head. Edwin takes ahold of Charles’s burgundy polo shirt, and clings to it like a lifeline. But that’s what it is, isn’t it? Charles is the only thing keeping him from falling completely apart.

Charles wraps strong arms around Edwin, pulling him into an embrace, so tight it feels like he’s trying to somehow crush Edwin’s pain, and that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Edwin has never been one to cry, not outside of Hell, at least, but Hell was something entirely different. Now though, his tears spill over as if he had just been torn to shreds again, as if he were still stuck in the worst place, with the worst people, as if he were still being tortured, as if crying was something he did regularly.

Niko would have tried to cheer him — them — up, if she were here, but if she were, well they would not be sad at all. Edwin wishes sorely that he did not have to be sad.

It is unfair, is what it is. It is unfair that Niko is dead. Someone as kind, and caring, and charming as Niko did not deserve to die, to be killed.

It is unfair that Edwin was given a friend, only for her to be ripped away from him. Only for him to have to watch it happen.

Edwin holds onto Charles a little tighter.

He doesn’t keep track of how long they stay like that, but at some point Charles starts crying too, and at another, the both of them manage to stop. Sometime after that, Edwin is able to let go of Charles’s shirt, and Charles pulls away enough to see Edwin’s face. He is sure it isn’t a pretty sight to behold.

And yet Charles smiles a sad sort of smile, and presses a kiss to Edwin’s lips. Edwin’s stomach swoops and his still heart flutters, the way it always does when they kiss. He does not think he will ever get used to it, but he is alright with that.

Niko would have cheered. She would have grinned so wide, and lamented about her inability to take a picture of them. Edwin’s eyes sting, but the tears don’t return.

“She would have loved this — us,” He says, when they eventually break apart. The sound of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard. “She would have been so happy. I told her of my confession in Hell, you know. I wish I could have told her of this. I wish she could see us now.” I wish I could see her now.

Charles kisses his nose. “I bet she can, love. Bet she’s smiling.”

Edwin opens his mouth to say something, once, twice, too many times, to no success. Instead, he offers a small nod.

He recalls something he told her on the roof of the Tongue & Tail, the day everything happened. The day he lost her. “No one is ever gone,” He had said. Maybe she is looking down on them. Maybe she really is smiling.

It is a proper nice thought, but it doesn’t fix the part of him that longs to see her again. It doesn’t fix the part of him that longs to watch Scooby Doo with her, and solve the cases before the characters manage to. It doesn’t fix his longing to hear her voice again, to hug her again, to be with her again.

He kisses Charles once more, and misses Niko still.

[adorabledrugl0rd]

Warm up @tangledinink Swanatello

:/

[whfrt0]

What do we think?

Bro looks so done w everything 😭

[aurademortt]

[odi-the-oddity]

Truck up against the porch for loading apples <3

[weirderworld10]

Trading hats

[callmerobbie]

I don’t like to post on here but I have been obsessed with @bluepeachstudios works for a while now. I did a redraw of their artwork from the first chapter of Nini which I love to no end. Hope you like it…

[macaroni-rascal]

i got lozenges i’ve never tried before and they having some sort of numbing thing because the back half of my tongue is numb as hell but my throat feels wonderful so pros and cons

[a-dorin]

finally something interesting

[maomoaw]

I may or may not be (trying) to make a dsaf fan game

first look at the version 1 of the logo design- i don’t know if like the designs of the mascots—-

I kinda have the base of the story down but I’m having a bit trouble with the fleshing out of it-

I have made a game before but it was a text story based game made with twine so working with RPG maker MV will be a different experience…

[imactuallyagiraffe]

Personally, I suffer from chronic knees.

[bongwateriero]

got my hair cut and i look like fabienne from fucking pulp fiction. WHATEVER

[shutupdevvie]

Hi! I just wanted to stop by and say I love reading your fic reviews. Do you ever review new greta writer's work? I know you're probably super busy with all the others, I was just curious ☺️💕

hi !! thank you so much !! i’ll read and comment on stuff from basically anyone :)) it isn’t like i pick from specific writers. i’ll just read the stuff i come across and if i decide i want to write a comment, then i will !!

i have had people send me fics in the past (either their own or fics written by other people), so if you want to send me or tag me in a fic to check out then you can absolutely do that !!

i do have some fics in my drafts right now and i usually work in order of when i saved them so it might take me a minute but i will get to it eventually :))

[briarrolfe]

Sometimes I think about my old manager at work who, in order to prove that the organisation was safe for trans people, told me about a fellow trans employee—a woman who was passing! who wasn’t out to me or to anyone else!—and about how chill everyone in management had been about her needing to take time off TO GET VAGINOPLASTY. He was not her manager! He was not her friend! He did not work in HR! There was no way he could have come into this PRIVATE MEDICAL INFORMATION without being told by another manager who had gossiped. And even if there had been, why the fuck was it any of my business!

Likewise, a friend of mine was just told by a school principal about how a prospective school was safe for trans kids… because a trans girl whose parents don’t affirm her at home is able to be affirmed at school. This information about this child’s gender and home environment was relayed along with her FUCKING GRADE LEVEL. This incredibly vulnerable kid was wheeled out as a selling point by the school with way more than enough information to figure out who she was.

In order to make the argument that a place is safe for trans people, cis people are wayyyy too happy to give out private information about trans people. With allies like these, who needs enemies!!!

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

[vaperarmand]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️