#i don’t know if I’m gonna sleep at all tonight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

father-time-and-baby-new-year · 2 days ago

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i show up to the party just to leave

tw: angst, unrequited feelings, dubcon, asshole behavior, degradation, dacryphilia, y/n isn't a great person, neither is anyone else.

a/n: part 2 of seems like the life i need is a little distant. this has been sitting in the google docs since dec 2021....i really hope i haven't already posted this :[ also guys it's been a while, so if i have to add some tw's or whatnot let me know...achieved unc status i fear

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The sheets still smell like him. Sharp notes of mint and sage and the ever-present smell of nicotine that seemed to cling to his body.

You had cried yourself to sleep last night. After Eren had essentially just fucked you and left. All you want to do is stay in bed and curl up in a shell.

But alas, there’s class to attend. And Plan B to buy since the dark-haired boy had insisted on cumming inside of you.

It’s not like he usually slept over so you have no reason to be so dramatic. It’s not like last night was the first booty call, and he’s always been one for degradation in bed. And you especially don’t mind being called a slut if he’s calling you his slut.

But you feel used. Disposable. Like the cigarettes, he crushes under his heel after ashing them out.

You roll over and check your phone, and the screen is filled with messages along the lines of:

Good morning.

I’m at the cafe, just picking up some breakfast. What drink do you want?

Got you a chai latte because that’s what you usually get. And a blueberry scone.

Don’t be late to anthro!

The messages make you smile. Colt Grice is sweet. Tooth-rotting sweet. You look over at the clock by your bedside. If you leave within 15 minutes, you’ll have enough to grab what you need from the pharmacy while making it to class on time.

“You made it! I was sure you wouldn’t.” There’s an easy smile on the blond’s face, beaming and bright. You dramatically sigh, “Praying on my downfall, huh?”

He hands you the brown bakery bag, “Never that.”

You sink into the chair, letting out a sigh. You hadn’t done the reading, and there was a long homework assignment due tonight.

“I emailed the reflection to you.”

You whip your head in surprise, “You did what?”

He shrugs, “I figured it’d help.”

“No, I mean, I know it will. Thank you.” And softer, “But you didn’t have to.”

His hazel eyes meet yours, “You seem tired lately. I don’t want you to strain yourself.”

You wonder if tired is a code word for awful. You look awful right now, dressed in a college sweater with faded letters and a dark stain you’ve never quite managed to get rid of, and sweatpants you haphazardly threw on.

You flick his forehead, “Mean anything by that? Don’t you know you’re not supposed to say a woman looks tired?” Your expression is deadpan but there’s a teasing lilt in your voice that’s specially reserved for him.

The tips of his ears burn red, “What? No, I didn’t say that. You look great. You...a-always look great.” His response makes you grin, and you break half of the scone to offer to him. He waves his hand away, “No, that’s for you.”

He watches as you lick the crumbs off your lips, “Suit yourself.”

You’re walking back from class, side by side with Colt, hands doing an awkward dance as pinkies nearly touch. As the distance seems to close, someone nearly ambushes you as they place their large arms over your and Colt’s shoulders. The blond himself nearly jumps in shock.

“Reiner.” Colt groans, “You have to stop jumping on us like this.”

“Why?” The spiky-haired jock chuckles, “Can’t handle a little-”

“You could have hurt her.”

You roll your eyes, waving his worries away, “I’m fine. What’s up, Reiner?”

“Just was just gonna ask you if you’re coming to Zeke’s party Saturday, Colt.”

Colt wrinkles his nose as if he heard something distasteful, “The one he’s hosting at Liberio? No thanks.”

The taller blond growls at his friend, “Out of everyone, you should really come. Think of everything he’s done for you.”

You place a hand on Reiner’s shoulder, “You know...I could probably get him to come.” You wink before placing a thoughtful finger on your lips, “But I’d have to be invited right? I don’t really know Zeke…”

But you’ve always wanted to go to Liberio, the hottest nightclub in the city, wildly exclusive and glitzy.

Reiner smiles at you, flirtatious eyes zeroing in on your suggestive demeanor, “Yeah, of course, you can come. You can be Colt’s plus one,” You sigh in relief, but don’t anticipate the sneer on his face, “...Or you can be Eren’s. You’re pretty close right?”

Your blood runs ice cold, and there’s surprise written all over your face. There’s no comeback at the tip of your tongue but thankfully your best friend has always been quite perspective.

“Okay, Reiner. Thanks for the reminder. We’ve really gotta go now.” He cuts the conversation short and drags you away to a bench under the shadow of a large tree. You sit, but he stands over you like a disappointed parent.

But here’s the primetime for an awkward conversation.

“You’re close to Eren? I didn’t even know that you knew him.”

You bit your already chapped lips, a habit that the hazel-eyed boy wishes you’d quit. He fishes his pocket for the vanilla chapstick and wordlessly hands it to you.

“We’re just friends.” You grumble under your breath.

He sighs, and you hate that he’s making you feel so guilty. What do you even have to feel so guilty for?

Taking a deep breath, he starts what sounds strikingly similar to a lecture, “Eren Yeager is not a good guy, I’ve told you this before, right-”

“You literally have no right to scold me like this when you’re practically besties with fucking Reiner. And fuck, Zeke? Zeke?-”

The tall blond takes a seat next to you, watching as you rub the salve over your bitten lips, “It’s complicated,” He sighs again, a sound you’re getting tired of, “I’ve just known them for a very long time. And our families-”

A heartbeat. Both of you watch the leaves fall.

“--Shit.” It’s rare for him to curse.

“Colt.” You say.

“I’m kind of dreading it, but...maybe it’ll be more bearable with you there.”

You playfully punch his arm, happy to see him admit he did want you to come, “I think it’ll be fun. I’ve never partied with you, y’know,” You pause, looking at him with wide eyes, placing a piece of hair behind your ear, looking so delectably innocent in the way you know he likes, “Wanna see what you look like drinking shots.”

“I’m not really like that though.” He admits.

The club is everything you imagined. It feels like it’s straight out a scene of the Hollywood movies with the smoke, strobe lights, and beautiful bodies strewn across the dancefloor. You’re grateful you’re wearing your friend’s dress tonight, a silky dark green number that fits your body like water. Nothing in your closet would have matched the caliber of tonight.

Colt gets a lump in his throat when he first sees you. Tries to keep his eyes on your pretty face so they don’t trail after your neckline or the skin left uncovered by the shortness of your dress. But he finds demise there too, he doesn’t want to stare too long at those kissable lips.

Still, he’s composed if not anything else. He’s too gentlemanly to touch you improperly. The hand on your back is feather-light. Doesn’t waver or tease lower.

“Remember, we can leave whenever, okay? If anything’s wrong-”

“Colt” You giggle, “Everything will be fine. Now, go socialize. Don’t you have important people to talk to?” You shoo him away, and he turns around with a look of defeat.

“If anything is wrong, come find me ok?” He affirms, and to reassure (and perhaps fluster) him, you thread your fingers between his, clasp your hands together and press a kiss on your joined knuckles, “Yes, yes. I know.”

The strobe lights shower his face in violet, and he’s grateful you can’t see how red he is.

You weave through the crowd with no particular purpose, dancing on beat to songs you can only remember half the lyrics to. There’s an attractive man who lingers behind you like he’s some ghost haunting you. You humor him because he’s way too cute to not entertain. Tall with slicked-back blond hair, broad shoulders, and an air of cockiness that should register as a red flag.

This song’s pretty. Synth heavy and melodic. The man behind you doesn’t shout his name over the music, he invades your personal space with large hands over your hips and whispers his name into your ear. Porco Galliard. The name sparks an unfortunate chord within you. Colt most certainly knew him, which means he was off-limits.

It’s okay. You didn’t come here to hook up with a new boy toy today. You came here to have fun. You could dance with him a little.

He’s not afraid to touch you, hands all over your hips, pushing you closer. He’s so close, you could smell his aftershave. Minty. If you closed your eyes, you could pretend that his hair was dark.

Porco bends his head to whisper in your ear, “You’re so intoxicating, I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

Your eyes flutter in confusion. It’s cute, the blond thinks. Not minx-like like how you portray yourself, a deer caught under strobe lights. You frown, tilting your head, “Do you know who I am?”

He chuckles, and you could almost feel the vibrations of his deep voice. “Colt never really shuts up about you.” His fingers thrum on your hip, “His best friend.” The way he says those words are mocking, and you can feel your heart sink into your stomach.

You lightly push his chest, “I-I should probably circulate.”

His eyes narrow but he doesn’t press, boldly kissing you on the apple of your cheeks and firmly squeezing your hip with the same hand that felt it was its right to situate itself there, “Come find me later.”

Definitely not, you think. That’s not going to happen.

You leave the dance floor disjointed. Maybe you needed more liquid courage. Your eyes settle on an alcove on the second floor. Tentatively, you climb up the stairs, letting your intuition guide you. You wonder if it’s some kind of VIP room, as you look at the velvety walls and the private bar to the side.

You’re about to turn around, knowing you probably won’t be let in since you’re essentially a no-body but you hear your name echoed behind you.

It’s Reiner, and he gestures you to come into the room. You mutter thanks although you’re not quite sure what you’re thanking him for.

“Some party huh?” He asks.

Not in the mood for conversation, you simply nod.

“Do you want to see Eren? I can take him to you.”

Even at the mention of his name, you could feel your heartbeat quicken, “Oh no, it’s totally fine. I’m sure I’ll catch him later.”

“But he’s right there”. And that dreaded pointer finger points to the large couch behind a table left messy with playing cards, crystal ashtray bowls, and shot glasses. It’s like you’re witnessing a stage with the bright lime-light only shining on Eren.

And the woman sprawled all over him.

Reiner nudges you towards them, even though your feet don’t want to comply. You hate him for forcing you into this situation, no exit in sight.

Eren’s eyes are closed, not like he’s napping, but merely resting. You can see the dark circles but fuck he looks good. He’s wearing a nice black button-up where most of the top buttons are left unfastened, showing off his nicely defined chest and you hate how you can’t tell who the small red marks on his skin are from. A string of pearls is around his neck, fastened like a choker. His legs are spread, his body half-sunken on the couch.

There’s a pale hand stroking his chest. It belongs to one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. She’s sitting with her knees tucked under her, all wrapped up in a short glitzy dress, the shape and fit not unlike your own but you don’t think you can pull off your dress like the way she does. Her hair is dark and curly, framing her shoulders, and she has one of those unique faces you can spot in high fashion magazines.

The way they look next to each other, like Adonis and Helen, like two halves of a whole-it makes you want to eat your insides.

“Whose your friend Reiner?” She asks, the coyness evident in her tone.

Reiner beams next to you, “She’s Colt’s plus one”. You’ve never wanted to punch anyone more, although you’re more than sure you have nothing against the student football athlete built like a brick house.

The dark-haired woman coos, “Isn’t that cute? I didn’t know Colty had a girlfriend.” She pouts, “And I thought he told me everything.” There’s a funny feeling building in your gut, twisting and reacting over the nickname.

Eren opens his eyes, disturbed by the noise. You’re not prepared to meet his viridian eyes. The “we’re just friends” you were about to utter dies in the roof of your mouth.

“She’s not Colt’s girlfriend.” His voice is cold and flat, slightly hoarse. He looks straight at you, “Right?” But it doesn’t really feel like he’s asking you anything.

You jumble over your words, “Yes um, Colt and I are not dating. We’re-we’re just friends,” You finish awkwardly.

The woman’s eyes narrowed into slits as she observes the interaction between you and Eren, your frazzled demeanor giving everything away, “Do you guys know each other?” A question not even remotely addressed to you.

Taking a long hit from his disposable vape, he blows out rings. “Yeah. Same college”

Jesus. You think. All those thoughts and feelings and restless nights spent with him, and he summarizes your familiarity with each other as attending the same school which is funny because you honestly don’t know the last time Eren has attended any of his classes.

She removes his hand from his chest and brings it to you, offering a handshake. “Hello, I’m Pieck.”

You force yourself not to think about how this hand had just rubbed up and down Eren’s chest, likely feeling over the love bites she left on his torso. You shake her hand, introducing yourself with a shaky breath.

There’s no music, no distractions, a hazy dark room filled with smoke and people you were totally out of your element with.

Reiner and Pieck are talking about something, the words not sticking to your ears. Eren is staring right at you, through you. Viridian eyes staring soullessly, no words to fill the void, just him and his pretty mouth blowing out curls of vapor, nauseatingly sweet vapor that almost made you miss the cigarette stench.

You feel awkward, you feel scrutinized, and when his eyes stare at all of you, from the plunge of your neckline, the exposed calves and kitten heels you wore because you were too clumsy for grown-up heels (she wore stilettos), you want the ground to swallow you whole.

Clearing your throat, you cringe as you hear yourself talk, “I-uh, should get back. It was good to meet you, Pieck.” The words come out as a rush.

The dark-haired woman pouts, “Oh but we just met. Though we could talk a little more, you know girl to girl.” She giggles.

Reiner smirks “Let her go, Pieck. Colt’s probably worried sick looking for her.” Eren clenches his mouth at the blond’s words but says nothing.

You can hear your heartbeat thud. No words come out so you merely smile weakly and half-heartedly wave to the trio.

As you leave, you catch a tail-end of a conversation you wish you hadn’t, “Are we going back to your place after Eren?”

You reach the bar at the dance floor with lightning speed, wanting nothing but to dissolve like sugar. You ask the bartender for shots, shots, and shots, doesn’t matter what. You’ll drink the man-shaped loneliness in your heart until it bleeds out. Your throat burns but you’ve long learned to welcome the fire.

You’re about to down your third shot of clear liquid until you feel a warm hand wrap around your shoulder. You turn around, about to give a stern piece of your mind until your eyes find concerned hazel ones.

Colt. Good old best friend Colt.

Good old Colt who loved you so much everyone teased you for it. Good old Colt who wore his heart on his sleeve and would never dream of touching a cigarette.

You’re buzzed, not even properly drunk, but there’s a bubby overexcited feeling bursting out from the seams.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed into worry.

You roll your eyes, so typical of him to always be so serious. “Come on”, you grab his hand, “Let’s have fun!” He lets you drag him away to the dancefloor, fully knowing that if he wanted to, he could just push himself out of your grip.

The song that’s playing is one that you and Colt have blasted multiple times in his car and that song has played so many times in that car, he swore he’d never play it again.

“This is our song” you giggle, and poor, awkward Colt who unaccustomed to dancing merely stands, peering over you with a mix of worry and puzzlement,

“I think you’ve had too much.” He tries to grasp your shoulders but you slink away in time. You’re perfectly fine, he’s just too much of a square to realize what having a good time is.

Batting your eyelashes, you look up at him, “Just follow my lead ok?” You guide his shyly eager hands to your hips. He looks at you like…he looks at you like…

Shit. Is this what Eren sees? When he looks at you? Genuine unadulterated admiration. No admiration isn’t it, this unnamed feeling has more weight.

You intertwined your fingers with Colt’s warm hands. He’s red but he welcomes the touch, moving his body to the beat, and you giggle at his attempted dancing. He laughs too and all is warm and good. So warm and good, but not enough.

You crush your lips against the blond’s and you can feel him go still. But that moment of hesitation passes because he’s crushing his lips against yours too, hand digging deep into your back. You part your mouth, kissing his teeth and his tongue moves against yours. Slowly, sensually, sweetly.

Without warning, he pulls back abruptly.

He’s all flushed, “Wait, why…why did you kiss me?” What an entirely unromantic question.

You give him a smile so wide your cheeks hurt, “You didn’t like it?”

He stumbles over his words, “No-No I did, I liked it a lot” You wish you could kill the pause, “...But…do you like me?”

You tilt your head, “Of course I like you Colt.”

He doesn’t believe you, you realize. And you’re not sure you believe it either.

“N-no you don’t.” A deep breath, “I like you a lot. I think you know that.” Your nails dig into your palms so deeply. What’s he doing? Is he getting himself ready to ride the high horse?

“It’s not that deep…” You cut in.

“No, it is that deep. I like you so so much, fuck I-” A deeper breath, “I like you too much to be used.”

I like you too much to be used.

That doesn’t make sense, does it? Don’t you make yourself dispensable for the people you love?

He takes a step back, voice so soft you want to screech, “I’m going to go home. If you need a ride back when you decide to leave, Sasha can take you home.”

“Colt” your voice is on the verge of breaking, “You don’t have to leave.” His lips are swollen, freshly kissed.

He smiles at you, asymmetric and sad: “I should have left long ago.”

When you find Porco, there is no preamble. You whine not here and he pins you against the walls in the alleyway near the back exit of the club. It’s cold and when you exhale, you can see air. Porco is comfortably warm in his bomber jacket that he’ll never offer you. You didn’t want anyone to see you and the dark blond in the club, but it’s so cold out here.

He moves too fast, hiking your leg up, slotting himself between your thighs. He pulls your dress down without much of a prelude, feeling up your soft breasts with calloused hands. He pulls on the nipple between his teeth, “You like this huh?” Your nipples are stiff because it’s cold, not because of his frenzied ministrations.

He’s three fingers inside you when you push against his shoulder, “S-stop.”

Agitation colors his face, “What do you mean?” As if to emphasize, his bulge presses against your core.

Maybe you should let him have his way. It wouldn’t be too bad. Probably wouldn’t last very long either, but your teeth are chattering and you hate how blond Porco’s hair is.

But this is a situation. You hold on to his shoulders tightly, trying to force over the awkward words, “I w-want you to stop.”

Reluctantly, he pulls his fingers out of you, annoyance etched onto his handsome features, “You’re a fucking tease.”

And he leaves like that. You let yourself slide against the wall, knees tucked to your chin. In a second, you’ll fish your phone out and call an Uber, but for now you just want-

You’re not very sure what you want. A moment to yourself? When has a moment to yourself never been miserable?

You hide your head in your arms, ignoring the goosebumps prickling on your arms.

Your nose reacts first. Those damn cigarettes.

Raising your head up, you see the dark-haired archangel who haunts your dreams and nightmares. The street lamp’s light behind him makes him look ethereal, an angel with a street lamp halo.

Eren simply stands, watching you. You’re not in the mood to break the silence. Awkwardly, you hoist yourself up. Your heart is beating, but you don’t know if you have it in you to make yet another man disappointed. Of course, you could never disappoint Eren because he never expected much, did he? What was there to disappoint?

You forget though. Eren’s capable of apathy.

And cruelty.

“Colt ran off on you so you fucked his friend?”

You grit your teeth, “That’s none of your fucking business. And no I didn’t.”

The corner of his mouth perked up, “That’s good. You should be wary of the diseases he’s carrying.”

“As opposed to what?” You snark back, “How many sluts are you fucking?”

You didn’t mean for it to sound so bitter, but it makes him throw his head back in laughter, “Besides you, I can’t really think of anyone else.”

That’s it. You’re about to leave but a large hand overwhelms your wrist, “I’m kidding. You know that.”

You try to pull away but he doesn’t let you, instead of pulling you into him and against the wall, in the very position Colt had you earlier. But now the chances of escape seem slim to zero.

His slender fingers ghost over your jaw.

“Shouldn’t you be with Pieck right now?” You hate the way you sound, reminded of all the movies written by men with overly jealous and bitchy female characters.

His thumb swipes over your parted lips, “No, I’d rather be much with my favorite girl.”

You hate this, Hate how your heart swims up. Hate the amusement laced in his low voice. Hate how desperately you want to believe him.

“That shut you up huh?” He chuckles.

There’s a rude remark on the tip of your tongue that he swallows with a kiss. You kiss back. Teeth against teeth, mouth against mouth, his tongue dominating yours.

When it’s time to breathe, he swiftly unzips his jacket and places it around your shoulders. You’re too shocked by the gesture to respond properly. You mutter out a thanks, flustered and flushed.

His hands grope your inner thighs, thumb digging into the supple flesh. Slowly he whispers into your ear, “Let’s go back to mine.”

#attack on titan fanfiction #tw dubcon #eren x y/n #tw smoking #tw toxic relationship

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witchygagirlwrites · 2 days ago

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Broken Bonds-Part 34

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x coparenting Reader, Jay Halstead x Hailey Upton

With a date picked and help from your teams everything for your wedding starts to fall in line

Fluff 🤷‍♀️

The date you and Mouse picked was April sixteenth. It was still early enough that the weather wouldn’t be too hot but still late enough that no one would be bundled up. It had taken a few nights, laughing over a calendar to figure out just when you wanted your wedding anniversary to be. Addy was already telling everyone at daycare that she was gonna throw flowers at Mommy and Mou’s wedding.

The venue was proving to be a bit of a harder find than picking a date however. Everywhere you liked didn’t have the date available or it had the date available and you didn’t like it or it just didn’t have the room to host a wedding.

“This place only holds weddings if the bride can prove she’s a virgin going in by having a letter from her priest” you read off the site and Mouse looked horrified “Is there a way we can shut them down? Surely there’s something illegal going on there. Call sergeant Benson. Hell I’ll call around too” you laughed at his tone “Baby I don’t think we can” he shook his head “Even if it’s not illegal they’re still assholes” you shrugged “Hell we don’t even have a priest, We got Kev”

Kevin had surprised you a few weeks before by catching you one morning and asking if he could talk to you. You’d been stressing about finding someone to perform the ceremony because neither you or Mouse was really religious but you didn’t want just some random person that you barely knew either. “Lil mama, I got an idea” the moment Kevin said that you pushed back from your desk and cut your eyes up at him “That could be really good or really bad. What ya got Kev?” he grinned and walked around to sit on the edge of your desk and held out a piece of paper to you. You raised an eyebrow but took it. When you read it you realized it was a certification stating that Kevin was now ordained in the state of Chicago. You felt tears spring to your eyes “Kev, this costed..” “Doesn’t matter. You’re my best friend. You and Mouse have gone through hell to get to this point. Let me do the ceremony” you jumped up and wrapped both arms around him “I couldn’t possibly think of a better choice”

“Good point” Mouse laughed, moving to slip behind you on the bed so he could pull you back against his chest, pulling the laptop out of your hand. “We’re both off tomorrow baby. We’ll get back on it then but for tonight you need to relax” you cut your eyes back at him “And I’m in your arms to relax?” he grinned “Of course” he leaned over to put your laptop on the table next to the bed so you turned to curl up against his chest. “I love you Greg, it’s just…we’ve been looking at this for so long”

He looked down at you “Baby, we’ve only been engaged for six months” you cut your eyes up at him “Not what I meant” a smile slipped onto his face “Oh” “Yeah, oh. I’ve thought about marrying you since I realized I was in love with you. Now I just want everything in place. I fucking refuse to be a bridezilla because to be honest we could do a courthouse deal and I’d be happy”

He shook his head “After everything we’ve been through love? We deserve a full wedding” you smiled “I know, I’m just saying. As long as I get to marry you, I’m happy” he smiled and leaned down to catch your lips in a gentle kiss “We’ll find a place baby. You’ve got to go dress shopping” you grinned “I know. Addy won’t let me forget that” he laughed “Little miss is excited to find her dress” god knows she was. She kept asking you when you were going dress shopping. You had a day planned that you, Kim, Hailey and Stella all had off.

“Well if we’re gonna get back on it tomorrow, can you just hold me please?” you asked and he smiled “I’d love nothing more” and turned so he could lay down with you wrapped up against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the side of your neck “Get some sleep sweetheart. We’ll figure it out tomorrow”

“Mommy, look!” The Christmas decorations were going up around town and Addy was in love with all the lights. You smiled “I see baby! They’re really pretty, aren’t they” she grinned and reached for Mouse “Mou! Look” he grinned at you as he took her from your arms “Want to go get a closer look?” she nodded so you watched the two of them as he walked her closer to the bundle of trees in the center of the shopping complex that she’d been eyeing.

They were decorated with kids in mind. The bright colors and cartoon characters adorning them were adorable. You took out your phone and snapped a couple photos while neither of them were paying attention to you. The amount of photos you had of just different people in your life with Addy was astronomical. Everyone loved her so much.

Mouse’s phone started ringing so he shifted Addy to his other side to answer it and glanced over at you before a smile slipped onto his face. You were curious as to what that phone call was about until he hung up and walked over talking to Addy “Wanna go meet Kat-kat?” she nodded. That was what she’d donned Gwen’s wife when she first met her and Katie adored the nickname.

“And why are we meeting Kat kat?” you asked and he grinned “She may have found a place that had April sixteenth open and she may be nearly positive that you’ll love it” you shrugged “In that case, lead the way Mou” Addy’s head swung around towards you with the most serious look on her little face “You don’t call him Mou” you laughed “I’m sorry baby. What should I call him?” She grinned “Greg or love”

Mouse tried and failed to bite back the grin that was stretching across his face. You pressed a kiss to Addy’s forehead “I am so sorry babygirl. Come on Greg, love. Let’s go meet Kat kat” she nodded with a smile and he winked at you over her head.

____________________________

You followed Katie through the venue and were honestly in awe “This has got to be out of our price range” you whispered and she turned to face you with a smile “Well my father owns it so I would say it’s not considering it’s all yours for the sixteenth if you want it. Consider it mine and Gwen’s wedding present”

It was perfect. There was a large window in the room that would hold the ceremony that had a view of the water, rooms for the bridal parties to get ready and two more large rooms to hold the reception in so one room could be reserved for food and the other for a dancing area. “Katie, are you sure?” she nodded “I’m sure”

Addy wiggled out of your arms and spun around in the middle of the floor and Mouse laughed “Baby, I think that’s a yes” you looked at Addy “What ya think? Should mommy and Mou get married here?” she nodded so you looked back at Katie “Ok, we’ll take it. Thank you so much”

Mouse slipped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek “Well sweetheart that makes the date, the officiant and the venue. Looks like it’s up to you now to find your dress” Addy came running up to you and damn near crawled up you at the mention of a dress “Yeah mommy” you shook your head “Of course you’re agreeing with Mou”

Katie laughed lightly “You three are adorable” you cut your eyes up at her “Should see when me and Hailey are having to duck snowballs from her, him and Jay” she shook her head “I can only imagine” Mouse shrugged “In our defense her and Hailey have a long standing record of starting it”

You heard Hailey call your name so you cut your eyes up from your computer “Yeah babe?” she tapped her desk “We’re going dress shopping saturday, right?” you nodded “That’s the plan since me, you and Kim are off along with Stella. Let’s just hope the bad guys let us have it” she grinned “They better. We have got to find you a dress and Addy a flower girl dress”

You groaned “Believe me I know. I can’t find a style I like. They’ll all either too short and showy or look like I’m going to a freaking ball hoping the prince will notice me” She grinned “Don’t worry, we’ll find you the perfect dress” you nodded “I hope”

Hank stepped to the door of his office and hit the wall to get everyone’s attention “Warrant came down. Gear up, we roll out in five” you cut your eyes at Hailey and grinned “Well that is something I can handle” she shook her head.

You fell in line with everyone else as you all headed down to roll up to get into your gear. This warrant had been close to a week in the making. This guy was rolling in drugs across both borders, why the hell it had taken this long to nail his ass was because he kept paying low hanging fruits to take each and every charge for him.

When you slipped your vest over your head Kevin adjusted the straps then turned for you to adjust his. You nodded to him “All set and don’t forget you have a tux fitting in a month” he nodded “I know lil mama. I got the reminder set in my phone” you grinned “Gotta have the officiant looking good in the photos” and winked at him before taking your long gun from Jay who shook his head “Wedding planning while getting ready to go on a raid and you’re a mom. Multitasking pro aren’t ya there babe?” you laughed “I try honey, I try”

___________________

You ducked down next to Kevin as you both waited for Hank’s go ahead. He cut his eyes at you and you nodded as Hank’s voice came across the coms “Take it”

The house ended up having half a million in cash and probably double that in drugs. A total of six other arrests were made on top of the head guy the unit was after. All in all it was a success considering no one ended up in Med, not even any of the offenders.

You stood next to Kim watching as the offenders were loaded into patrol cars. She nudged your shoulder with hers “So, I heard you found a venue” you laughed at the insanity of your life considering you’d just gotten into a fistfight with a six foot two drug dealer and won now you were talking about wedding stuff like you were standing in line at a coffee shop.

“It found us. Katie’s dad owns it. She gave us a tour and offered it as her and Gwen’s wedding present” she smiled “That’s awesome. Well that means a date, an officiant and a venue. As soon as we get you a dress all you have to do is wait for the day” you nodded “And hope nothing goes wrong” she cut her eyes at you “What do you mean?” you sighed “Just, I’m happy, don’t get me wrong. You know how much I love that man. It's just like I’m waiting on the other foot to drop” she raised an eyebrow “Getting kidnapped and tortured wasn’t the other foot?” you shrugged and she shook her head “You and him have gone through plenty. You deserve a win”

Two wedding dress shops down and you’d yet to find a dress that you even halfway liked. None of them suited you. You didn’t want a ballgown because you wanted to be able to actually move in it but at the same time you wanted a dress that didn’t let your guests see everything that you would prefer leaving to just Mouse’s eyes.

“I feel like I’m dragging you all around town for nothing” you groaned, carrying Addy on your hip considering her stroller didn’t really fit too well in most of the dress shops. Between all four of you she just bounced around if she got too tired to walk. You’d asked Kim if she wanted to bring Makayla but apparently it was daddy/daughter day with her and Adam.

“It is not for nothing!” Stella scolded you with a grin before adding “We’re well I’d say your best friends but I’m your sister, Hailey is the wife and Kim is your favorite partner so there’s that” you laughed “I get the point Stel” she waved her hand “The point is if anyone is meant for each other it’s you and Mouse. We’re gonna find the dress that makes your eyes sparkle because as far as Mouse is concerned you could freaking wear that old CFD hoodie Kelly got you while you were pregnant with Addy and he’d be happy”

You shook your head with a laugh because she wasn’t wrong. Every time you bought up concerns about not being able to find the right dress or not looking quite right Mouse would shake his head and say “You’re gonna look absolutely beautiful no matter what you’re wearing”

_________________

You managed to find Addy the perfect dress within about twenty minutes of being in the store. It was a long gown that had a white lace bodice with long sleeves and the skirt was made out of a flowing blush colored tulle fabric. When she tried it on she looked like a literal little princess. You went a size up to make up for the fact that the wedding wasn’t until April but beyond that it was the perfect choice for her. You, Hailey and Stella all three snapped photos to send to Mouse, Jay and Kelly.

The replies came in tandem She looks beautiful baby, Look at Daddy’s girl, She looks like a little princess

Kim laughed “Those three are wrapped around her little finger” you nodded “Oh two have been since birth and the other one has been damn near since he met her” Hailey shrugged “Hell Addy has Voight wrapped. It’s just her power” Addy smiled at the mention of Hank “Show Papa” you laughed “Baby Papa doesn’t really text like Mou, daddy and uncle Kelly”

“Oh otay” she replied before Stella took her in the dressing room to help her change into her regular clothes again.

You cut your eyes at Hailey and Kim “Ok ladies we can handle the streets of Chicago. We can find a damn dress. Spread out” they both mock saluted you “Yes ma’am”

Your phone went off with a text so you opened it to see it was another one from Mouse but this one had a photo of a rather elegant looking wedding cake. It was five layers, decorated with roses that were in the colors you picked and delicate golden crescent moons. Baby that is gorgeous but the cake can’t just be for me! You texted him and really wasn’t surprised when he texted back Sweetheart, I know your eyes lit up when you saw it. I already ordered it you shook your head and texted You’re ridiculous, I love you so damn much and he texted back I love you too

You slipped your phone back into your pocket and continued down the middle rack, fingers trailing over the gown until you paused on one. Delicate lace covered the bodice, it’s floral patterns trailing up to a soft illusion neckline and three quarter sleeves. The fabric was light, damn near weightless as you lifted the skirt, layers of soft tulle flowing like a gentle breeze. A hint of blush peeked through the ivory giving it a warm glow.

“Hails, Kim” you called out and they both appeared over your shoulder “Try it on, please” Hailey spoke first and you cut your eyes back at her with a grin as you lifted the dress. Stella was back out of the dressing room with Addy and grinned when she saw you with a dress “Did she find one?” She asked Kim who nodded. “Try it on mommy!” Addy giggled.

You stepped into the dressing room and closed the door behind you before quickly stripping your clothes off before slipping into the gown. You turned in front of the mirror and felt your heart flip. The lace hugged your body just right, the skirt swayed beautifully and gave you the range of motion you craved. You looked beautiful, you looked like a bride.

You stepped out of the dressing room and Hailey, Stella and Kim all stopped in their tracks before smiles slipped onto their faces “That’s the one” Stella spoke softly and you nodded “This is the one” “You look so pretty” Addy laughed and you grinned “Thank you baby!” then cut your eyes up at Stella who was tearing up “My little honeybee is getting married!” she moved to pull you into her arms and the other two women laughed, joining the hug as Addy slid into the middle of it.

The saleslady came over with a broad smile “I’m guessing by the group hug, we’ve found the dress?” you looked over Stella’s shoulder and nodded “Yes ma’am”

All that was left now was for April to roll around so you could finally marry the love of your life.

@desimarie12

Part 35

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