#plus if i wasn’t in school I’d be accepted to go care for my dad sooner 😬
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every single day i wish i was brave enough to go on medical leave
#i just need a few weeks months to get my shit together#but the days keep coming and they don’t stop coming#plus if i wasn’t in school I’d be accepted to go care for my dad sooner 😬#boom’s bad days#i don’t know if I’m gonna sleep at all tonight#and I’ve done no homework this break so that bodes really well for tmrw#the little alien from alien could claw its way out of my stomach and I would be unsurprised#I’d actually look at it and be like ‘OH that explains sm!’#cause my cramps are just that bad rn#don’t reblog pls
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Inconvenient Qualities Pt. 1
I do not dance. I was told I look stupid and everyone is going to laugh. I hate my smile. My mom spent so long trying to teach me how to smile exactly right. She showed me what a good smile was like. I never did figure it out. I do not draw or paint anymore. I thought I was getting good, but I mean she was always my biggest critic. I hate my laugh. I hate how loud I talk. I wish I could join in on the stupid little games. I cannot react. You could have just got me tickets to Noah Kahan but I’d be too worried of looking stupid. I do not know how to use my words. I cannot express emotions. I cannot say I love you even when I mean it. She made that such a big deal. Went as far as to get onto me. But dad always encouraged it. But never did he stand up for it. Now I struggle telling family that I love them. I cannot sing. Sometimes if the music is loud enough I will join in. But I over think it. I wanted to write music but that is also on the list of things I’m unable to do. And it is funny. I am a hopeless romantic yet doing something as simple as buying flowers or writing a letter is so incredibly difficult to do. I cannot buy the things I need. So instead I buy things I want. I do not understand that one. Owning more than one pair of shoes makes me anxious, I must be clean. Used to I had to be fully put together even just to go to the store. Luckily this one I have mostly broken. I have learned not to give a fuck. I cannot take pictures of myself. I judge every photo taken so harshly. And that sucks because I love pictures. Sometimes hearing footsteps through the house or the sound of the knob being touch causes me to panic. Sending texts absolutely scares me. I was taught to worry how others perceived me. I was taught defending myself was considered talking back. Finally, my brain took it upon itself to quit trying to calmly explain and go straight into fight mode. I think there is a second side of me living in my brain. But also, I am scared I have made that up just to keep from accepting fault. Which is funny cause like I still accept what I did, and I am still striving to fix it. I have been taught I am not allowed to go to sleep until I have solved the problem. I have been taught my needs come second and they do not get met unless I am needed. I struggle with food. I was told I will get fat and be ugly if I was not careful but also, I was not allowed to leave the table until every bite was gone. My sensory issues was me just being dramatic. My meltdowns was just so all the attention would be on me. I was and still am too young to have depression or anxiety and I never did go to war so there is no way to have PTSD. I am just living in a delusional world out of spite of my mom. She makes sure to remind me I’m not actually trans, but I’m doing this out of spite. Funny. You may wanna be careful, as I only have emotions to try to gaslight those around me. And watch out for the fact that I cannot accept responsibility. That one still cracks me up. I spent so many years trying to be perfect, but it will never be enough. I will never be worth loving. Not unconditionally at least. I do nothing but destroy everything around me just for fun. Not because the fact I was autistic was hidden from me and the mental abuse I endured. I can’t do arts and crafts as that was childish and dumb. Plus, her father always had a say. Could not join any school plays cause as dramatic as I was, I wasn’t good enough to be in theater. I was a slob. Despite me keeping the house and yard perfect. I just did not have time for my laundry after helping put hers away. I do not love my siblings because I could not stand being touched. I am going to taint them and ruin them just because I exist. I will never become anything in life. I will die sad and lonely, living on my parents’ couch. Inconvinent qualities that the trauma formed. So may lies pushed into my brain. Little by little I am taking it back.
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Time pt3.2 [J.B]
Summary: Your mother's will was about to be opened and you decided to travel to hear it. Jacob thinks he's lost you forever, but a call from Edward brings you back to Forks. A sacred promise will bind you to Bella beyond death.
Word count: idk lol
Warnings: angst. Pure angst. Angst series. I love angst lol
A/N: . If you have some wolfpack request you can drop it in my box! :D Same note as ever english not my mother language so tell me if something is wrong. Enjoy!
The pain of the imprinting continued as the weeks went by, but you got used to it. It was already a constant feeling in your day-to-day life, so you could bear it better and live with it. You talked to Charlie almost every night, when he came home from work til you both had to go to bed. You told your father how much your aunt cared for you and how nice your new neighborhood was. You had managed to clear your mind and even though your heart still ached you could handle it. Charlie had a hard time being without you, but he would eventually get used to it. You heard that something was coming up between him and Sue so you were happy for him and that he wouldn't be so lonely at home anymore. Plus Billy took care of him and helped distract him by taking him fishing every weekend and watching the games together. You had lost track of Jacob and you knew it was for the best. You didn't speak again since that night and you were grateful for it. He was serious about giving you some time to clear your head so you could sort things out when you were ready and return to Forks. What he didn't know was that you weren't coming back, you had already made the decision and told your father that very night when he called you to ask how your day was. Charlie was surprised by the news. "Oh" he said "You seem happy over there, don't you?" "Well, that was the whole point, wasn't it?" "Right." You bit your lip as you fiddled with the little antenna on the phone. "I miss you, Dad, but this is for the best, I guess. I've talked it over with my aunt and together we've been reading some brochures, you know? I'll do what you asked, I'll get into college." "Really, that's great! You should have told me earlier, I could have gone through those brochures too". "I haven't made up my mind yet. If you're willing to help me then I'll send you the information from each school and we'll pick one between the three of us, okay?" "It's a deal." "I'd like your opinion on that, Dad, because all the schools look good, but Bobby says i have to check the syllabus thoroughly. The school he attends is the best by far or at least he thinks." "Wait, Bobby?, the same Bobby you've been telling me about for the last month and a half?, the neighbor?" You smiled, thinking Charlie didn't remember him anymore.
Bobby was the guy who lived across the sidewalk and who mowed the yard at your grandparents' house. The first time you saw him was during the second week of your arrival. He was working on the vines in the garden when you went out there so you could read a book under the shade of the apple tree. Bobby was wearing these big gray overalls stained with mud because he had just planted some roses and the hose had ripped wetting his clothes. He saw you and apologized for the mess with an awkward smile. His copper hair glistened in the sunlight and his cheeks adorned with mud freckles made him look very cute. You accepted his apology and asked him to leave work and take a break because the heat was sweltering. Bobby sheepishly accepted, sat down next to you under the tree and noticed you were reading the book he had finished earlier that morning. "You'll love the ending" He told you. You frowned "Don't spoil it."
"Oh, I didn't mean to tell you what happens. Just...if you're a fan of the story like me then you'll love how it ends. I waited a long time for this book to come out because I love the author's work, did you know that the last summer she came to a book signing at my school library?"
You seemed interested
"Really?" Bobby nodded smiling. His muddy cheeks were funny. "Really. He signed my copy and I have it on the top floor of my bookshelf so no one can touch it." "That's too bad, I would have loved to see it." "Well, I can make an exception" He told you. You smiled "Only if you promise not to tell your aunt about this" he said, pointing to the muddy mess in the middle of the garden "That will cut into my month payment." You laughed. "No problem."
From then on Bobby's visits were constant and while he arranged the flowers you went out to meet him and talked about the book and your favorite parts. You would discuss the characters you loved and the ones you hated. That became a routine and over the months you started going out. It wasn't a romantic relationship, that's what you had told Charlie when you first told him about Bobby. You weren't ready to trust again and being permanently tied to Jacob it was hard to be around another guy. Besides Bobby never tried anything more than that, he always gave you your space and respected his place as a friend, nothing more. You didn't deny that he was a lovely guy and that you felt less pain being with him, but that didn't mean that thinking about Jacob wasn't still a problem. You closed your eyes. Charlie was still waiting for an answer. "That one. He told me wonderful things about his school and I think I want to choose that one. He's already a college student and he thinks if I decide now he can talk to the principal and grant me a spot, what do you think?" "I think that Bobby guy is trying something with you." "Dad." "Don't you think so?" "It doesn't matter if those are his intentions. I've made it clear to him the way I see him and he hasn't tried anything weird, so I like to think his friendship is sincere, could you back me up on this?" "Just saying." After that the conversation went on like any other. Charlie didn't mention Bobby again and in return he let you know his concern for Bella. He told you that he hadn't managed to talk to her lately and the last time he did she seemed distressed. "I'm worried, (Y/N)." "Why?, isn't this a normal thing? Bella is a married woman now, I think it's normal for her to want to spend some time alone with Edward. After all it’s her honeymoon." "That's not what I'm saying to. The last time she took one of my calls I heard her differently. I can be paranoid sometimes but I can recognize when something isn't right with my daughters and I know there is something wrong with Bella. Maybe she's sick or had an accident, I don't know. You know your sister is very prone to getting hurt in some way or another."
"I don't think that's the case. She probably caught something during her trip, i can understand that, but I know Edward takes care of her as much as he can." "Yeah, that may be it." "Don't worry too much, okay? Bella is fine, I assure you" "Okay." Yo chatted for a few minutes, then Charlie felt tired and decided to go to sleep. You said your goodbyes and as you were about to go to sleep too a call alerted you. You stood still as you heard his voice. A voice so icy that it sent shivers down your spine. It had been two months since you had listened to him so closely and the funereal tone in which he spoke robbed you of sleep. You clenched the phone tightly and frowned as if he could see your annoyance on the other end of the speaker. "Edward? What the hell, are you out of your mind? You scared me half to death!" "(Y/N), I need you to come back." "What?" "I need you here in Forks. We need you." "In Forks? I thought you were on your honeymoon with Bella?" "There was a problem and we had to come back." "So Charlie's concerns were right? Bella's sick? is he hurt? You didn't take care of her like you should have, did you? What did she broke this time?" "Bella's not sick." "Then what-?" "She's pregnant." You felt the blood leave your body for a second. Then your stomach twisted in a feeling of panic that morphed into one of disbelief. "Yeah, right." "I'm serious. She-" "How is that fucking possible?" "I don't know, I swear I don't know. We had to go back and Carlisle can't explain how it could happen either. I mean...it's not normal." "That word stopped making sense a long time ago. Edward, what the hell-?" "I just...I need you to come over,Bella...she...decided to go through with this and it's too dangerous. That thing is hurting her, it's destroying her from the inside." Suddenly your head spun. You understood that Edward was serious and that this pregnancy was really happening. "Does Charlie know?" "We haven't wanted to tell him yet. If something goes wrong..." "Don't treat it like a reality. She can still be saved. Don't want to treat this like her funeral arrangements, I won't let you." You hung up the call. You were upset and the room began to spin. Something was wrong with Bella, Charlie's assumptions turned out to be true and it was very likely that your sister couldn't handle that pregnancy. You ran out of bed to the bathroom and threw back your dinner. Your stomach felt sick at the news and because your life seemed to want to tie you to Forks. You sat on the bathroom floor and rested your head against the wall, what were you going to do? You couldn't just walk away and pretend everything was fine, you couldn't tell your aunt the truth either because then she would talk to Charlie and everything would go to hell. So you knew your only option was to get out of Tennessee as soon as possible, lie to your aunt about your whereabouts and be cautious so Charlie wouldn't see you hanging around Forks.
God, everything was so complicated that you started to cry. Bella was pregnant, you were going to be an aunt and your sister probably wouldn't survive the birth. Not when what was inside her seemed to want to kill her at every second. You got up and shakily made your way to the phone and dialed Bobby's number. He answered almost immediately and was alarmed by the way your voice trembled. "Help me" you whispered. You heard Bobby get out of bed "I have to get back to my sister's, but my aunt must not know, could you do something for me?" Bobby grunted an affirmation. "Count me in."
The next day you were already riding on a plane, your eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and your stomach growling from nausea. Bobby had done an amazing job with your aunt. Later that evening Bobby called her and explained that his family was going on a trip and that he would like you to go with them so he could get you better acquainted with the place. Your aunt seemed puzzled by the idea, but agreed because she trusted Bobby completely and his family was honest and had known each other for a long time. Plus your aunt thought you needed to make new friends and feel more comfortable with your new life. So she agreed to let you go away for a week, but asked you to let Charlie know so he wouldn't worry. You did and convincing Charlie was easier than you imagined. For him if that trip helped you heal then he would accept it. He didn't know Bobby, but if your aunt did then there was no problem. The next morning you got into Bobby's car, his parents were in the back and together they went to drop you off at the airport (Bobby's parents knew nothing about the lie and to them it was you who would make the trip back to Forks while they went on a cruise together. Bobby would be staying at a friend's house in the meantime). When the plane landed the Cullen's jeep was already waiting for you. Edward met you and with his brother Emmett you got into the car and drove off as fast as possible. You looked out the window, it all seemed like a nightmare. "I thought you were going to change her after the wedding" you said. Edward looked at you fleetingly "Bella and I talked about it, we would let some time pass before that happened." "You decided that for her. Bella wanted to change even before she became your wife" "I couldn't do that to her" "Maybe if you had been brave this wouldn't have happened." "No one could have known this was going to happen." "Not even Alice?" Edward tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Emmett jumped out as they parked behind the house. "Not even her." Without wasting any time you got out of the Jepp and walked inside the house. Your heart was beating fast and you began to looking for Bella with your eyes. You crossed the living room in three strides and followed Rosalie who had seen you coming and came out to meet you. You went upstairs and sitting on the couch covered with the blanket Renee had made for her was Bella, looking like death and her belly about to burst. She looked up at you. Her sunken eyes glistened with tears. "We'll let you talk."
Rosalie came out of the room and with her disappeared Alice, Jasper and Carlisle who greeted you with a lopsided smile. You approached slowly thinking that this was crazy. Bella smiled at you. "Hello." "Hi." "I thought you were in Tennessee, what are you doing here?" "I came to see you." You walked over to her and sat down next to her stealing part of her blanket. Bella snuggled up next to you and your hand touched Bella's belly. It felt hard, cold and doughy. Your mouth went dry. "I always liked Renee's t-shirts. They're so beautiful." "They are. Mom did a great job with the quilt. I actually thought that it wouldn't be very useful in the winter cause the shirts are thin, but Mom managed to put a little extra cotton in between the seams. It's warm, when I sleep I feel like it hugs me." "I’m jealous." "She didn't use all of them on me. She saved a few to make you a quilt too. Mom knows you like her t-shirts as much as I do, so it was a surprise she had in store for you when you got married, so try to act surprised when that happens." "There's still plenty of time." "Charlie told me you traveled to hear your mother's will." "I did." "Was there anything interesting?" "She inherited me grandparents' house" Bella looked at you in surprise. You stroked her belly "The one we always went to, remember?" "Of course, I loved that place" "I was living there. It's... just like before, hardly anything has changed and Grandpa kept our drawings after all this time, can you believe it?" "He was a good man" "He was." "Are you happy there?" he asked you. A lump closed your throat "I think so." Bella kept silent and looked at you sideways. Your heart ached because your sister had never shown herself to be this fragile. You were afraid to move and have her hurt or have the baby try to kill her right then. You didn't know what to do. Bella pressed herself tighter against you "Why?" "Why what?" "If you're happy in Tennessee, why did you come back?" "I wanted to see you." "Even after what happened? After Jacob...?" "No matter what happens between us, I'll always want to see you." You lifted your legs and hid them in the blanket. Bella swooped down on you "I know you fought with Jacob. That was my fault." "We all make choices, Bella. Maybe good or bad but they are still choices after all and that's our responsibility, no one else's. My decision was to stay with him even though I knew he loved you and the consequence of that was getting hurt. I don't blame you, you and Edward are happy together and he was the one you chose." "And now he seems to hate me." "Why do you say that?" "Cause I decided to keep it" she said referring to the baby "The reason we came back was because Edward wanted Carlisle to try to take it out but I wouldn't let him. Rosalie was a big help, but Edward has been upset ever since. He thinks I won't be able to make it, that my baby will end up killing me and that's why he brought you here." "Edward didn't bring me, I decided to come." "Because he told you what happened" "He's worried." "He's trying to get you to change my mind" You looked at her, Bella looked very tired "That's why he asked you to come" "I would never persuade you to stop doing what you think is right. This is your decision, Bella. I didn't object to you going back to Edward after he ditched you, nor did I try to change your mind when you traveled to Italy to save him or when you came back and said you wanted to marry him. They have been your decisions, Bells and I never interfered with them. I didn't do it before I won't do it now." With that Bella seemed to let her guard down and rest on your shoulder. That had been too tiring for her and all she needed was someone to tell her that everything was going to be alright and that her decisions were not wrong but risky. You were silent for a while until Bella raised her head and looked at you. "When was it that we stopped being like this?, when did we stop being so close?" "Since you came to Forks, I think. At first everything was fine, we hung out together and took lots of pictures with dad's old camera" You smiled wistfully "But then you found Edward and everything changed. Your world centered around him and... I don't know, Bella. My aunt told me that maybe i was jealous of Edward for taking you away from me and til now I didn't think about that possibility but I think she's right. I... I just wanted to have you to myself after all this time, that's all."
"I'm sorry." "Don't be. It's silly. It was logical that at some point we would both go our separate ways. And look at us now. I'm going to be an aunt and that's all that matters." "Don't you hate me?, don't you hate me for what happened with Jacob?" "I couldn't. But if you name your little one after me I'll feel a little better." Bella smiled as she caressed her belly. "I've actually thought about that. If it's a girl I'd like her to have your name and mom and Esme's name intertwined..." "That would be nice." "If it's a boy then Edward and Jacob's names." "That's not so much." Bella laughed. "I'll make it work" “I know you will." Bella smiled, this time with less encouragement. "I would’ve liked to see my child growing up." "Who says you won't?" "Apparently everyone" she replied "Edward's pessimistic about it even if he doesn't say so." "I thought he'd change you after you got married." "He's worried about my soul and Carlisle doesn't think it’s possible he can inject me with the poison without killing me. I’m scared, (Y/N) of dying and that in Edward grow a feeling of hatred about our son. I couldn't... I couldn't bear it. At night I think that Charlie could do it, that he would take care of the baby if necessary but if it’s born a vampire or something dangerous to dad then I would be condemning him. I don't know, (Y/N), I don't know." Bella started to cry and your heart ached "I could do it" you whispered. Bella looked at you "Take care of the baby. Edward can change me" "He would never do it" "Why?, he shouldn’t care for my soul. It's my decision, I want to" "I couldn't ask you to do that" "Don't do it, then. And it doesn't matter if Edward doesn't want to change me. I'll ask Emmett, or Jasper, or the Vulturi, it doesn't matter who it is, but that baby will have me by it’s side, Bella, I promise you." Her eyes sparkled with tears. "You would do that for me?" "You're my sister, Bella. I can give you my life and your baby...to your child I will give my eternity, it’s okay, sister, i’m right here ." You embraced. Emotions got the better of you and you cried inconsolably. That was more than a farewell, it was a promise that would unite you beyond death. You were scared, you had never considered living forever, but if Bella needed that to have some peace then you would do it no matter the conditions. The afternoon passed and the Cullens relaxed to see Bella so calm in your arms. Edward was still worried and your conversation had done nothing but get on his nerves. Suddenly you spoke. "I must think about what I'm going to tell my aunt, why I'm not coming back. I think it's best to tell Bobby the truth, ask him to lie about it and tell my aunt that I died during the trip. Maybe I got eaten by a bear or something. Dad will be sad but-" "Bobby?" asked Bella "Who is it?" Your cheeks burned "A boy I met." "Oh." An awkward silence emerge "What about Jacob?" "What about him?" "Now that you and this new guy are dating..." "Oh, no, no, we're not dating. I mean, yes we are but as a friends only." "That's what I meant but you got nervous." "No, I didn't." "Yes you did." "Do you like him?" "Should I?" Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe." "And what would happen to the bond? Wouldn't that be the same as breaking it? "Not necessarily. Jake once told me that imprinting didn't mean a loving relationship in all cases. You can have that same bond but be friends. You know, friends who hang out together and do fun things. That would keep you from feeling pain being away." "Oh." "Yeah."
Your thoughts wandered on that possibility. Was it a good idea to propose such a thing to Jacob? Maybe it was. It would be extremely difficult but it was better that than to be enduring a pain that wouldn't go away with anything. You were about to suggest Bella to eat something when the Quileute man entered the room and stared at you. His jaw was clenched and his fists were tense. Bella waved at him but he didn't replied. "Charlie didn't tell me you were coming." "I didn't tell him." "He doesn't know you're here?" "No and you won't be the one to tell him" Bella glared at you. You didn't want to give her any more worries so you grabbed Jacob by the arm and dragged him outside "Come here" "I overheard your conversation" he said. You sighed "Are you really going to do it?, are you going to let that bloodsucker change you?" "Yes, I'm going to let him do it" "Why?" "Because it's the right thing to do" you lowered your voice not wanting your sister to hear "I want Bella to feel support and gather strength to get through this. Maybe she won't make it, maybe she can't handle it, but at least she'll have the assurance that I'll be there" "You don't mean that" "I'm dead serious" Jacob was desperate "And what will you tell your father?" "I have to think about that. I'll think of something" "Don't" he pleaded and took your hands. He moved closer to you and you felt his warmth embrace you. You tried to pull away but your body was still weak against the bond "Please don't give this up. Stay with me." "Jacob-" "I love you and I understand that you are upset with me for everything that happened. I accept that you need time and I'm willing to stay away as long as it takes, but please..." "Jacob, I don't want you to wait for me anymore" you said releasing yourself from his grip "I already made a decision and even if it doesn't work out...if Bella survives and I don't have to become a vampire...I met someone and I want to know how far that can go." "(Y/N)..." "I know that imprinting works in different ways. That it is not necessary to be in a relationship to avoid the pain of being apart. Soul mates come in many different ways, Jacob and I want to believe that ours are intertwined as friends. Maybe if I had understood that earlier all of this wouldn't have happened." "I can change things, make amends" he asked. His eyes glistening with tears pierced your heart. It was going to be hard for both of you, but you needed to set the record straight before you took the next step. You were doing it for you, for Bella, for your nephew and for Jacob. You stroked his arm showing that even if you had hurt each other badly in the past now everything would be different. "Don't. Forget what happened and... accept my decision. Please." Jacob nodded, wiped away his tears and avoided looking at you. "If you become one of them we'll be enemies." You smiled. "Then there will be a stronger bond that will bind us forever."
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I’m sorry, i couldn’t tag some of u guys :(
#jacob black#jacob black imagine#jacob black imagines#jacob black x reader#twilight saga#quileute wolfpack#quileute wolfpack imagines#sam uley#Quil Ateara#sam uley imagine#paul lahote#paul lahote imagines#twilight cast#wolfpack imagines#wolfpack x reader
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Hi!! Can you possibly write a head cannon where y/n is kurts twin and is dating Quinn? Sorry if this isn’t specific any storyline is ok.
Quinn Fabray x Reader #3
Words: 2,024
Warnings: Mention of Car Crash, Hospital
Notes:
I was reading a story that involved a car crash and just...sort of took inspiration from that for more direction. I hope this is what you were looking for, thank you for requesting (and sorry for spelling mistakes)
———
You got into a car crash.
It wasn’t really your fault, it’s not as if you could have known that some dude driving a truck wanted to push you off a cliff…well, you’re sure he didn’t exactly want to; but that’s not the point, you think.
The point is that you got into a car crash. A car crash (or truck crashing, really) that you should have died from, but you didn’t. A car crash that should have presented lifetime injuries, but it didn’t.
And you’re lucky. That’s the magic word that keeps going around. You’re lucky.
Yeah, fuck that.
You don’t feel very lucky, laying down in your hospital bed and feeling so much pain everywhere, laying down in your hospital bed and not even being able to go to the bathroom by yourself... this doesn’t feel lucky. This feels miserable and shitty and—
Quinn. Quinn is here.
Quinn is sitting in the corner of the hospital room, reading a book with red rimmed eyes and shaky hands.
Quinn she— she wasn’t here yesterday. You wonder for a moment how she could have found out, and then you realize…
Kurt.
Kurt went to school today. You figure he must have relayed the news to the Glee club. If you had been awake yesterday, or even the day before—the night you got into the crash—you would have told him not to tell her.
Quinn doesn’t deserve to find out about this the way she probably found out about this. Quinn doesn’t deserve the worry she’s probably feeling...you know it would have been better for you to text her yourself so she knew immediately that you were fine. So you would be able to downplay the injuries.
Kurt likes being dramatic, and Quinn likes to panic.
“Quinn, you can’t be here,” you rasp out, your throat dry from lack of use. Her green eyes immediately snap up towards you.
“Y/N,” Quinn breathes out, voice full of relief as she sets her book down and moves towards the side of your bed to cup your cheek. “They said you woke up earlier but I had to see it to believe it.”
You give her a weak smile, not able to resist nuzzling your face into her hands. Her eyes watering with more tears almost makes you regret it. “Baby,” you whisper, “Kurt...my dad...what if they see? Where are they?”
Quinn’s face morphs into something guilty and apprehensive. “They both... sort of know about our relationship now…” she rushes to continue when she sees your wide eyes, “they were shocked, but they seem to be doing fine with the news.”
You blink at her, once, twice, and then drop your eyes closed with a wince. “Kurt’s gonna bother me so much about this,” you mumble. “How did they find out?”
You feel Quinn tense before you manage to open your eyes to see it.
“Me yelling at the nice lady up front to let me see my girlfriend probably told them as much,” Quinn says slowly, as if she expects an angry reaction. You don’t feel much anger. You haven’t really cared about them knowing for a while now…
In the beginning it just made sense to keep it a secret from them. Now, not so much.
Plus, nearly dying put some things into perspective for you.
“Does Finn know?”
Now it’s Quinn’s turn to wince. “I’m not sure,” she admits quietly, then adds, “i’m sorry if i’ve made things awkward for you.”
You can’t help but laugh at that, a laugh that turns into a coughing fit, and then turns into a whole bunch of growling while you grit your teeth in pain. “Fuck, fuck, that really hurt.”
Quinn’s hand is trembling again. “Do you want me to get the doctors?” She asks, with no small amount of panic. She’s terrified, and has been terrified since the moment Kurt told her you were in an accident.
“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure her, ignoring the pull of stitches that feel like they’re everywhere, and the hurt in your ribs. “I’m sure Finn will get over it eventually, when he finds out.”
“It’s not as if you two were siblings when I dated him,” Quinn jokes, though her eyebrows are furrowed with her worry.
You give her a smile that you hope is reassuring and try to relax into the hospital bed. Your eyes are heavy with tiredness, and you feel extremely drugged (yet at the same time not drugged enough), but you want to stay awake for Quinn.
Quinn has other plans.
She kisses your forehead, then promises against the skin there, “i’ll be here when you wake up.”
And right before you drift off into the dream world, you hear her say; “please don’t do this to me again,” in a voice that’s so weak and scared that you want to open your eyes again and reassure her.
You fall asleep instead.
——-
Quinn is there when you wake up again, but so is Kurt.
They’re talking. About you, you realize bitterly. About the crash, and the physical therapy you’re going to need to go through for your shoulder.
They’re talking quietly, as if to not disturb you, and it’s weird hearing the two most important people in your life talk. Especially since you know that just a day ago Kurt was terrified of Quinn.
Maybe not terrified...he was intimidated. Everyone is of Quinn.
(Quinn admitted to you once that sometimes she thrives in their fear, and other times she just feels alone. She told you that she doesn’t want to hurt people anymore just because she’s hurting, and that she’s trying to make people comfortable around her again.
The intimidation used to be from fear, now it’s from awe, so you suppose her plan hasn’t really worked. People worship the ground she walks on.
You worship the ground she walks on.)
Quinn is more deep than you expected though, and more deep than you’re sure everyone else expects. She’s more funny, more smart, more self-deprecating, more hurt, more nerdy, more goofy—than you ever realized.
She’s just a person full of surprises.
“Y/N?”
You jump in the hospital bed in alarm, your side and shoulder aching in protest. Yep. Quinn is full of surprises.
“Are you okay?” Quinn asks, giving you a sad smile. “Sorry for shocking you.”
Kurt pokes his head over her shoulder (it’s weird seeing them so close), “you don’t look so good,” he points out, as if you hadn’t already figured that out. The glare you send him has him shrugging.
“I’m fine, babe.” You ignore Kurt’s smirk at the nickname. “Could one of you just ask the doctors for about twenty pills for the pain?”
“And a hairbrush,” Kurt jokes, though his eyes are lined with the worry he thinks he’s hiding well, “got it.”
“You try getting pushed off a small cliff by a truck, see how you look afterwards!” You yell at Kurt’s retreating back.
There’s a tense silence the second Kurt is out of the room. Quinn’s eyes are focused on a spot on the hospital sheets, and she doesn’t look at you, even as she tries to make a joke for some levity;
“Twenty pills is a definite overdose. I hope Kurt isn’t actually asking for that amount.”
You snort, shaking your head. “They wouldn’t give it to him even if he asked.” Then, quietly, you ask; “Quinn, are you alright?”
She shakes her head. “You almost died,” Quinn mumbles, and she says it like an explanation, you suppose it is one.
It was terrifying, those moments when the truck hit, and those long moments after when you were still conscious.
“I keep thinking about what would have happened if you weren’t even a bit as lucky as you were,” she admits, closing her eyes. “You almost died. The only reason you're here now is because you were lucky.”
“Quinn—”
“You can’t die,” Quinn says, her eyes desperate when they snap open to look into yours. “You don’t get to leave me. That can’t be an option.”
But it is, because nothing is really guaranteed in life. Quinn knows this, has known this since a very young age, you imagine.
“I’m sorry,” is the only thing you can manage to say in the face of Quinn’s sadness.
Quinn seems to get a hold of herself after your apology. She just shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair and she’s Quinn again. “It’s not your fault. Just work hard at getting better soon so you can help me get through the school days.”
You nod, then hesitate. “Will you love me if I never drive again?” It’s meant to be a joke but it comes out more seriously than you intend. Quinn’s eyes immediately go soft and loving.
“Yes. I’d love you even if you didn’t even want to sit in a car again,” she says, and you believe her. You believe her.
“Then you’d have to walk everywhere with me,” you laugh, even as tears fall down your cheek. Quinn immediately bends down to kiss them away.
“The more calories burned, the more junk food I can have,” Quinn reassures, and you love her.
You love her so damn much.
——
Kurt is eyeing you and Quinn with something like wonderments in his eyes later that day.
Quinn can’t bring herself to care much though. What he thinks about her relationship with you in the least of her concerns right now. The only thing she really cares about right now is you.
She cares about you looking at her the way you’re looking at her right now, with a dopey drug induced smile. She cares about the fact that you’re looking at her at all. You’re looking at her right now because you’re alive.
You’re alive, Quinn reminds herself. The what if’s don’t matter.
“Quinn, will you marry me?” You ask, words slurred together. It brings Quinn straight out of her thoughts and into the real world.
She blinks at you for a couple of seconds and then nods uncertainty. You won’t remember this anyways, Quinn assures herself, but as she looks over her shoulder at Kurt’s wide eyes she realizes that he will.
Welp.
“One day,” Quinn continues, for appearance sake. Kurt snorts behind her.
She can’t be whipped enough for her girlfriend that she accepts a proposal this young. (She is though. She hates to admit that she’s incapable of saying no to a question like that from you, but it’s the truth.)
“I wanna get married now,” You protest, and Quinn doesn’t really know what to say to that.
“Y/N you can’t force the girl to marry you. Have some respect,” Kurt says, laughter in his voice. Quinn’s thankful for his intervention, though she won’t show it.
You pout at Kurt, and then at Quinn, “Fine. Just tell me when you’re ready, okay?” You ask, and Quinn loves desperately. She loves.
“Yeah. Okay.”
Not even Kurt’s rambling about ‘the disgustingness of love’ keeps her from the lightness in her chest at seeing you smile at her the way you are now.
You’re going to be okay.
The both of you will be, Quinn realizes, when Kurt cuts off his complaints to start planning for your wedding.
“We won’t be getting married for a while,” Quinn reminds the both of them. She gets blissfully ignored after a side glance from Kurt and another pout from you.
She’ll be okay, and even—Quinn realizes—Kurt will be. She wasn’t paying attention to how devastated he seemed earlier today, but in the face of his relief and happiness the differences between his behavior now seem obvious now.
He was devastated, but he’s okay now, because you’re awake. Quinn’s okay now because you're awake.
“Quinn, will you wear a suit for the wedding?” You ask, bringing Quinn out of her thoughts for probably the fifth time today.
Kurt snickers at Quinn’s resounding grimace, and his amusement only raises when Quinn mumbles, hesitantly, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“That sounds like a no, dear sister.”
#quinn fabray x reader#glee x reader#glee imagine#x fem!reader#fem reader#quinn fabray imagine#quinn fabray#fanfic
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Concepts in Action (Glee)
Follow-up to Concepts of Insanity, spawned by a talk with @jwmelmoth
Slighty different mood than that one, but same base principle.
Returning to the loft after skating should be a relief after the awkwardness of doing such a loaded activity with his ex. Except it doesn't feel that good, and he's got some uncomfortable suspicions regarding Blaine's backpack.
“So, dad. You brought Blaine. Exactly when's his ticket back?”
“Day after tomorrow, same as mine.”
“Right. And where is he staying?”
“Well...” His dad's facial expression answers that question in a way that makes Kurt's heart sink.
Fan.Tast.Ic.
“So when you said I could return my present if I wanted to, exactly how was that supposed to work? It isn't, is it? I'm stuck with him whether I want to or not.”
“Kurt!”
His dad's voice is full of surprise and a bit of censor, but Kurt isn't going to let that influence him. His dad's crossed a line, and Kurt's not going to pretend otherwise.
“Remember the first Christmas after mom passed away? How you sat me down and apologized for my presents, before I'd even opened them, because you just weren't good at buying gifts? And remember how I told you that anything you'd gotten me would be perfect, because it was from you and I loved you? Yes?
“Okay. I still love you, but I'm taking the rest of that back. You coming here to tell me you have cancer was bad enough. Finding out you consider my ex an acceptable 'gift' for Christmas goes from bad to really shitty, and I don't know what you were thinking. Especially seeing as apparently you felt it was okay to tell him about your cancer before telling me.”
“I didn't want you to be alone.”
Kurt just stares, unable to process.
“I have cancer, and I knew you'd have a hard time to deal. I brought Blaine because I figured you'd need the support, the comfort.”
“And you brought my ex for that?”
Then again, support wasn't Blaine's strongest suit even when we were together, was it?
“Hey, you're the one who told me he wasn't just your boyfriend, he was your best friend too.”
“Yes, but that was before” he cheated on me “we broke up.”
His dad still doesn't seem to get it and Kurt can't take it.
“You know what, I need some air. I'm going to take a walk. You stay here, make sure Blaine stays out of my bedroom.”
Kurt starts out with going around the block, but he's still upset after and takes another loop, this time longer. It takes half an hour for him to feel ready to go back inside and deal.
Sitting on the couch with his dad and Blaine as they watch baseball is annoying as hell. Any other time, he'd take the closeness and read Vogue, especially now that his dad has admitted to knowing about it. But with Blaine actually watching and interacting with his dad about the game Kurt feels uncomfortable not doing the same. So he tries. Once he gives up and reaches for his magazine he heard his dad and Blaine joke about having bet about how long he'd hold out.
And then the next hit comes.
“So, Kurt, I know that this might be a bit weird for you, and you can totally say no if you want to,” sure, just like I could return the 'gift' of your presence, “ but I'm applying to NYADA for next year.”
Kurt sighs silently. Of course he is. The thing is, he can see it, the way Blaine probably assumes it'll play out. Blaine moving to New York, going to NYADA, buddying up to Rachel just like in high school... Kurt being expected to just take it, regardless of if he had been accepted or not. Any contacts Kurt might have gotten supposed to be at Blaine's beck and call, Blaine talking his way into Kurt's classes trying to replace him, like he had in Glee and with Cheerios... Kurt bending over backwards to make Blaine happy, just like in high school.
Because there would never be a chance of him being allowed to continue to say no to Blaine with them at the same school.
Thank god that's not going to happen.
And really, what was Blaine trying to do here? Pretending that Kurt's opinion mattered? The time for that would have been months ago, before applying.
“Oh really? You know what, I think NYADA might be perfect for you.” Not in terms of actual schooling, maybe, as Kurt's had the blinds torn off regarding Blaine's talent, but for the rest... He imagines Carmen Tibideaux subjecting Blaine to some of her special treatment. The definition of Karma, surely.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. From everything I've heard you'd get along really well with the dean, and well, Rachel seems to thrive. Good luck.”
With no encouragement to keep talking about NYADA Blaine wanders off to grab something to drink and Kurt refocuses on his dad, trying to squeeze out as much of this visit as possible.
“Hey Kurt? What does NUY want with you?”
Kurt turns his head so fast it feels like he's in danger of whiplash.
“Are you going through my mail? Stop it!”
The words come out hard and he can see both his dad and Blaine react. He doesn't care though.
“You know, you going through my personal things wasn't cute when we dated either. Back then I just cared more about keeping the peace than about keeping my privacy. Since that's not a problem anymore, let me just be clear. I might be allowing you to stay here, but that's not an invitation in any way. Not to snooping, not to feeling at home, and not to getting back together.
“This is my home, and you are – putting it kindly – a guest. Behave with the decency I know your mom expects of you. If you can't do that then leave.”
He wishes Blaine would, but knows it's not likely.
“Buddy...”
“Kurt! You can't mean that you'd throw me out. Where would I go?”
Blaine looks like Kurt has done the verbal equivalent of throwing a bucket of ice water in his face. It has no effect on Kurt's resolve though.
“I neither know nor care. You either respect my home or you don't stay in it. This is New York. There are thousands of hotels and hostels.”
His dad just stares at him, as if he doesn't know who Kurt is anymore, and it hurts. Out of all the people liking Blaine better than him Kurt had never figured his dad would be one. And yet here he was, feeling the same way as he'd once felt with Finn.
“Buddy, you're being a bit harsh here, don't you think? Yes, I'll admit that maybe bringing Blaine without warning you was a little...impulsive, but why are you so angry? And don't be so hardnosed about getting back together, for your own sake.
“Like I said earlier, love's important. Holding on to love is important. I don't want you to throw away what you and Blaine have, not when you never know what will happen, or how long you'll have that opportunity. It's a cruel world, Kurt, but having someone to share with makes it better.”
Kurt takes a deep breath and tries, really really tries to keep his bitterness in. He's not doing that great a job.
“Holding on to love is important, sure. But there's such a thing as holding on too long and too hard. Blaine and I broke up for good reasons, and I wish you'd respect that.”
It's like his dad isn't even hearing him though.
“You know, your mom and I found it hard being apart too.”
Kurt did know. As a kid he'd loved hearing about his mom's semester in France, and he'd been told enough to know that it'd been tough. He'd read some of their letters to each other though, and he doubts either of them dealt the way Blaine did.
“So? Yes, being apart is hard. But that isn't an excuse for everything. I didn't want to get you involved in all of this, but since that's obviously not going to be an option anymore, fine. Blaine cheated. He felt I didn't pay enough attention to him, you know, between finding a job and a place to stay, and making enough money to pay the bills, and generally trying to make myself a life here after he practically pushed me to go here.
“And so he went and found someone else to give him that attention.”
He practically spits out the last sentence. It feels good to finally allow himself to say it, but the look on his dad's face doesn't feel as good.
If he was less angry maybe he'd be able to stop himself, worry about his dad's heart. But the anger's been simmering too long for that.
“That's why we broke up, and that's why I find the idea of getting back together objectionable. And you can talk about holding on to love until you're blue in the face, but I'm not the one who needs that lecture.”
He swallows down the lump in his throat, but goes on.
“As for the rest of it, are you seriously suggesting I take back my cheating boyfriend because that's better than being alone? Or because I don't know how long I'll live? Because if you are... What's next, dad? Telling me I should marry him because you and mom didn't get enough time together?
“If any of those things are going through your head you are also welcome to leave. I'll never not welcome you in my home, dad, but I need you to respect me. I need you to not act like you're putting someone else's son above yours.”
That's a warning that hits the target, and it's obvious that Burt Hummel remembers a row of uncomfortable talks about Finn. He deflects by turning on Blaine though.
“You...”
“No, dad. It is over and done with. Leave him be. Just... Just leave it alone. I don't want to take anymore fighting. Please?”
They stare at each other and for a while Kurt wonders if he should have done as he normally does and just backed down. Swallowed down his hurt and anger and frustration, kept quiet about the injustices done to him, and just pretended to be okay. Tried to not upset his dad, and risk his health.
Except he's done that for years, and it's clearly not working. His dad's health has failed again, with the cancer – and no matter how good the prognosis, or the treatments available, a cancer diagnosis is a health failure. Plus his dad is trying to fix him and Blaine, out of some misguided idea that they're going to be the next Burt-and-Lizzie, and he never would have done that if Kurt'd been honest about the cheating instead of blaming distance.
At least Kurt hopes he wouldn't.
“Sometimes, dad, first loves end. They end because of death, or because they're not meant to last, or because of something else. And then you meet someone else, and they make your life amazing. I'm not going to deprive myself of that by holding on to something that's ended. Just like you didn't. You found love again. I will too.
“I just need to be allowed to do so.”
They keep staring at each other, and then his dad nods. Kurt can't help it, he throws himself in his dad's arms, with tears already beginning to fall.
As they hug Kurt hear Blaine muttering in the background about finding a hotel, but he doesn't care. The door to the loft closing feels like it's closing on him and Blaine too, and it's such a relief.
After several minutes they let go. Both need to remove traces of crying, but that's good.
Once they're seated again Kurt searches for something to talk about, but his dad beats him to it.
“So, NYU? Or should I pretend I didn't hear that?”
“No! I have been thinking about things, about school, and I was an idiot for not applying to more schools last year. So, I did some research and then I did something about it. I've applied to half a dozen schools, and I've already been accepted to one for the fall semester. I don't know if there's any school willing to take me for the spring, but if there's not I'll just keep working and try to save up money.”
“And what about NYADA?”
There's no judgment in his dad's voice, and Kurt smiles as he tries to describe the situation diplomatically.
“It's...not looking as good in my research as I thought, so while I did reapply there I'm not sure I want to go there. I really shouldn't have listened to Rachel last year, because as it turns out? NYADA actually isn't the most prestigious school for performing arts, and it's probably not even the best for me. I guess we were both a little starstruck, you know?”
The game is back on, but they ignore it and talk, and it's everything Kurt would have wanted.
O--o---o--O
Months later as classes start up Kurt receives voicemail after voicemail about Blaine starting at NYADA, about how bad it is that Kurt's not been accepted, about them meeting up. Kurt ignores them as he did the calls and walks into vogue.com with a smile.
He doesn't feel the least bad about not getting in. Hell, he didn't even apply for the fall semester.
No, Kurt's happy where he is, with his job at vogue.com, a spot at the New School and a couple of scholarships helping pay the way. Oh, and a new boyfriend, which also contributes to his happiness.
Turns out? Acting in new ways can get you new and rewarding results. All you got to do is try.
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid
Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader
warnings: alcohol mention
a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna
prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!
it was just you and your mom for a long time
pepper and y/n potts
she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark
speaking of—
“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you
“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”
“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”
“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”
“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”
*giggling* “y/n”
“no way! that was my second guess!”
tony wasn’t used to being around kids
he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them
despite a few minor hiccups
“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”
he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair
“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”
dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!
“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”
“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”
she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy
when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office
tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there
“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school
in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close
but tony made up for it
“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”
you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool
and as you grew up, you started to notice more
“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”
“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”
“called it!”
after that you did everything to try and get them together
when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly
no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now
“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”
“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”
“wise words, sir” -JARVIS
when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all
no
and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”
(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)
“my mom missed you”
“oh, i bet she did”
“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”
“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”
tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo
but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)
and just to make sure:
“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”
“man, that’s like, forever away”
“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”
ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence
“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”
“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”
that didn’t last long
not long at all
and soon they FINALLY got together
“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”
“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*
“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”
“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”
sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!
it was completely decked out
king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!
okay you were spoiled
“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper
“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”
“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS
pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family
you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you
“mr. potts, is it?”
“sure”
“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”
“why’d they punch the kid?”
“well, the other student punched y/n first”
“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”
he literally gave you a high five when you got home
“i gave him a black eye!”
“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”
a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight
“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”
“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”
youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours
“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”
your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!
“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony
“tony, you are impossible” -pepper
no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!
disappointed but not surprised
iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer
Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’
Mr. Tony: HE WHAT
Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!
anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end
you met mr. col. james rhodes that day
“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey
“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”
“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”
you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)
“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey
“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust
literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.
“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony
he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot
“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy
then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal
Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?
New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.
Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.
New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap
watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!
“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”
tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common
you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings
Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕
👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you
“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”
legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up
anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!
“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you
ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked
why is the earth always in fucking danger
you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut
“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”
“...hi there, little one”
“what the fuck”
“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”
tony stark has left the atmosphere
you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho
she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared
plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!
only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely
but watching morgan grow up kept you busy
“ahhh, shes so big!”
happy times in bad times
bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.
but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago
you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check
“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”
you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth
best stepdad a kid could ever ask for
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //
#tony stark x child!reader#tony stark x son!reader#tony stark x daughter!reader#tony stark imagine#tony stark#iron man#iron man x reader#iron man imagine#dad!tony#stark!son#stark!reader#stark!daughter#stepdad!tony#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#avengers#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#pepper potts#pepper potts x reader#pepper potts imagine#potts!reader
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The children are our future? | Peter Parker x Male Reader
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Peter Parker x Male!Stark Reader
Summary: (M/N) goes to surprise Peter and pick him up from school. While there a student tries to befriend him and (M/N) may or may not have lost his temper after realizing who it was.
A/N: I’ve been reading loads of fics about Peter and the field trip trope and like...maybe that’s coming… ;)
…
Peter tapped his pencil against the desktop repeatedly. It was obvious the school day was dragging on and he was ready to get out of there. He always wanted to get out of school early but even more so since he was supposed to be working with Tony in the lab today. Of course that would happen AFTER he saw his boyfriend, he always came first.
Peter was brought out of his boredom when he felt his spidey senses going off and no soon after something hit his head. It didn’t hurt and when he looked it was just a crumpled up piece of paper. He shouldn’t pick up that paper, everything in his body said to just ignore it. So he did, he ignored it. Then after a little bit another one hit him. Then another. Then another. He could tell it was Flash trying to mess with him and as much as he hated saying it, it was working. With one last paper ball Peter had enough.”WHAT!?” He glared at the boy who was only smirking at him. “MR.PARKER! What is going on?!” Peter felt his stomach drop. Oh he was in trouble. “I...I was-” “See me after class!” The whole class snickered and Flash smirked at him. Peter hated it here.
Peter stayed after class to get a talking to by the teacher. He was angry to say the least, Flash never got in trouble or anything. It should be him here not Peter. The teacher was going on about respect and not causing trouble, Peter really wasn’t listening if he was being honest. After the rant Peter left the class to be greeted by Ned. “Hey, figured I’d wait for you. How’d it go in there?” Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing important. Just another person who won’t deal with Flash.” Ned nudged him. “At least you didn’t get like, detention or anything. We can deal with Flash another day.” Peter and Ned exited the front door of the school and heard whispers and talk. “Is that (M/N) Stark?” “What’s HE doing here?” Peter looked up and gulped. There he was, his boyfriend...looking absolutely annoyed with a starstruck Flash talking to him. “Or he’s gonna deal with him.”
…
(M/N) Stark leaned against the passenger side of the car. He was there on a mission, Peter had been acting strange for the past week and it was worrying him. He was so worried he got in contact with Ned, who after several minutes of questions, told him about Peter’s bully Flash. (M/N) would have dealt with it sooner had he any name other than a Fake name to go off of. He could have asked Ned but (M/N) had a better idea.
Before Happy could even reach his car, the poor man was intercepted by (M/N). “Sup Happy. You out to get Peter? Well belay that order, I’m picking him up today. Go out and get yourself some lunch you deserve it.” Happy didn’t know what was happening but he watched as (M/N) got into one of Tony’s sports cars and drove out of the parking garage. That’s how he found himself outside of Midtown High.
(M/N) was scrolling on his phone waiting for his boyfriend to arrive. The school bell rang and students started walking out. He could hear people talking about him and it made him smirk. “Holy shit! You’re (M/N) Stark!” (M/N) looked up to see a boy who looked like he was about to faint. “That’s me.” He didn’t say anything else as he returned to his phone. “What are you doing here? Never mind. You have a really cool car! I got a sick ride too! I can show it to ya if you want! Oh! Can I get a photo?” (M/N) let out a sigh. He didn’t want to be rude, but frankly this kid was getting on his nerves. “What’s your name kid?” “Eugene, Eugene Thompson. But you can call me-” He stopped as Peter and Ned came walking up. (M/N) smiled at his boyfriend who was smiling back at him. “Hey.” Peter said but was interrupted by Flash. “Hey Penis! Can’t you see the two of us are talking? Trying to make it seem like that Stark internship is a real thing?” Peter glanced to his boyfriend who was still smiling, but his eyes held the intent to murder. “I bet (M/N) here would just LOVE to hear about it. A loser like you wouldn’t even be able to go through the front doors!” Peter smirked at Flash.
(M/N) started typing into his phone, still smiling. “You know what EUGENE. I would LOVE to hear about it. Why can’t Peter here walk through the front doors when he is one of the best interns my father has ever had?” Flash looked shocked while Peter was smirking, Ned looking somewhat lost and happy. (M/N) was still typing on his phone. “Also I should point out that the very boy you are insulting and calling penis is actually my boyfriend and if you know anything about me...I don’t take kindly to people who hurt the people that I love. And....done.” (M/N) looked back up from his phone to Flash. “You have now been blacklisted from every ivy league college on the eastern seaboard. You’re welcome. You’ll be lucky if even a community college accepts you here.”(M/N) held up his phone and took a photo of Flash’s red face. “What!? Y-You can’t do that!” (M/N) smirked. “I can. You know why? I’m (M/N) fucking Stark and you fucked with my boyfriend. You’re lucky that being blacklisted was all I did.” He stepped closer to the boy and tightly gripped his shoulder. “Because if I wasn’t so good about controlling my anger.” He let some of his powers slip through to let his eyes light up. “You wouldn’t live to see graduation. Now get out of here and don’t let me hear about you messing with Peter, his friends, or anyone else again.” Flash looked like he was on the verge of tears but nodded and ran away. Before he could get too far (M/N) stopped him. “Oh and Eugene! This isn’t over, I’ll be watching.”
With everything that went down it was no surprise that most of the students were staring at them. Some shocked still from the Stark boy being at their school, others for what he just did to Flash. They weren’t sure what he could really do to them so no one dared say anything or take videos. Turning to a blushing Peter, (M/N) smiled brightly at him. “Hey babe.” Peter smiled and looked embarrassingly at his feet. “Did you really have to do that?” (M/N) smirked at his boyfriend and held onto his shoulders. “Of course I did. He was a dick to you and annoying me. He made his bed now he gets to lay in it.” Peter was about to say something else but his boyfriend cut him off by pressing his lips to Peter’s. The sound of gasps and whispers could be heard, but neither of them cared. Pulling apart (M/N) opened the passenger door. “Shall we go? I’m sure dad’s already working in the lab.” He turned to Ned who was looking shocked beyond belief but also smiling broadly. “Thanks again for your help Ned. Much appreciated.” Ned nodded. “Anytime. See ya later Peter. Bye (M/N)!”
Peter said his goodbye before sitting in the car. (M/N) got into the driver's seat and pulled away from the school. “Man...I really hate public school. You sure you don’t want dad to just...pull some strings and get you into M.I.T or something?” Peter chuckled at that and looked at him. “Yeah I’m sure, I’d miss Ned and MJ too much. Besides I have a feeling it’ll be alright now that you’ve dealt with Flash. Don’t think anyone else would want to get on your bad side.” (M/N) shook his head with a smile. “Good. They better not, otherwise I’ll come after them. I wonder if that twerps gonna go run to mommy and daddy. If he does...I’ll end them too.” Peter’s soft smile turned into a glare. “Don’t do anything that you’ll regret or that will be too...bad.” (M/N) huffed a laugh. “TOO BAD!? What are you five? Don’t worry it’s not like I’ll ruin their lives...just make it a little more difficult.” Peter put his face in his hands but smirked. “Sometimes I worry about you.”
“You love me.”
“Maybe TOO much.”
…
The rest of the drive had been pretty uneventful. Just small talk about what each other's day had been like. Peter had made sure to leave out the part about Flash getting him in trouble, if he told his boyfriend that he’d ruin his life even more than he already had. When they had arrived at the tower Peter wanted to do nothing more than to lay down with his boyfriend but Tony wanted his help in the lab.
“So I heard my son single handedly ruined a kid's life today.” Peter blushed at Tony’s words and focused on the project in front of him. “Ugh..k-kind of. I can try talking to him to undo it.” He heard Tony scoff. “Don’t you dare. That kid deserves it and plus...you honestly think we’d be able to get (M/N) to undo it?” Peter laughed along with Tony, at least he didn’t seem mad about it. “The question is kid...why didn’t you tell us? We would have done something a lot sooner and maybe less...intense.” Peter didn’t know what to say. He had wanted to tell them about everything but also didn’t want to at the same time. “Well, I DID want to tell you. I just...didn’t want to bother either of you. I just thought it was something I’d be able to deal with on my own. Figured it wasn’t that important.” Peter shrugged but felt Tony’s hand on his shoulder and he was soon facing his mentor/future father inlaw. “Peter. We both love you. Anything that deals with you is important to us. We want to make sure that you’re okay and living your best life. Asshats like that try and get off on pushing people around thinking they can get away with it. Now he won’t do it to you or anyone else again. Please, if something like this happens again tell us. We’re here for you.” Peter let out a sigh and felt tears building up in his eyes. “Thanks Mr.Stark.” Tony pulled him into a hug. “Anytime underoos. Now...Put away your tools and stuff. I’m sure my kid’s anxiously waiting for you upstairs.” Peter pulled back from the hug and began putting everything away. Tony going back to his own project. Peter was heading out of the lab when Tony called out again. “Also if you two get heated just make sure to wear protection!” Peter blushed. “Mr-Mr.Stark!” Tony waved him off. “Kidding! Kidding! Now go on!”
Peter walked to the common room where (M/N) was laying on the couch watching tv, when he saw Peter he smiled. “Hey. You’re done early.” Peter walked over and sat beside him. “Yeah. Your dad let me out.” Peter leaned his head on his boyfriends shoulder as the others arm pulled him closer. “Doesn’t sound like my dad. Maybe he’s an imposter.” Peter rolled his eyes and sighed. “Did you really black list him from every college?” (M/N) scoffed. “Peter I’m not that cruel. I believe people can have redemption. But I DID block him from the good ones on the eastern side of the us. He can still go to community colleges or to good schools on the other side of the country. It’s not like he’s out of options.” Seeing his boyfriend's face he sighed. “Ugh. If you feel that’s too harsh I’ll undo it. But I think it’s the push he needed to understand.” Peter smiled at him. “I love you.” (M/N)’s breath hitched. “What? I mean I love you too but...how did that come about?” Peter blushed and kissed his cheek. “Because even though he was incredibly rude to me you still were willing to undo it for me. Which I don’t want you to. He’s rich, or at least well off, I’m sure he’ll be able to go across the country. And you’re right, he needs to learn...plus maybe I’m a little salty about the years of bullying he’s done.”
(M/N) leaned in, smiling at Peter. He cupped his face in his hands. “Honey. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I gotta say you’ve pretty much ruined me.” The two boys laughed at each other. “I’ve been told I’ve had that effect on people.” Peter leaned in and brushed his lips against (M/N)’s, who leaned deeper into the kiss. After a while the two separated and laid down together. “So...what are we going to watch?” “Have you seen clone wars?”
“Duh.”
An hour later Tony would walk in to find the two boys passed out on top of each other. Quietly he pulled out his phone and took a photo. “Nerds. But they’re my nerds.”
#marvel#peter parker#peter parker x male reader#peter parker x male!reader#peter parker x reader#peter parker x male stark reader#peter parker x male!stark reader#peter parker x stark reader#peter parker x stark!reader
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I don’t know if your accepting prompts or anything but could you do Harry as a single parent to a teenage daughter and she starts her period and has to go to him for help? Btw I love your writing and hope you’re having an amazing day!!!
Harrys Daughter Gets Her First Period
(Harry has 3 kids/Teddy age 5, Olivia age 8, and Darcy age 12)
Back story-
Harry was a single parent. Well his kids have a mum, but she's a famous actress in Hollywood, and she and Harry have been divorced for years now. While she's away from London filming a movie in Los Angeles, Harry has been keeping their three kids at his London home. He doesn't tour as much as he used to so he has a lot more free time on his hands. That means he can spend some quality time with his children. He loves it. He loves his kids with every fiber in his body. He regrets not being able to spend more time with them when they were younger, but being a popstar requires a lot of traveling. So unfortunately, he was on the road most of their childhood. Now in his late 30s, he stays home a lot more but of course he still writes and sings music. He just doesn't tour those songs unless its the occasional tv appearance here and there. Harry's kids love their father as well. They always have. They always understood his job and never had hard feeling towards him not being around. So when their mum told them they would be staying with Harry for a few mouths while she filmed a movie, they were super excited.
Current time-
It was currently six in the morning. Harrys alarm just went off letting him know its time to wake his kids up for school. He climbs out of his bed and makes his way to his master bathroom to pee and brush his teeth. Once finished, he makes his way down the hallway to where his kids rooms are. He first knocks and opens his youngest child Teddy's door asking him to wake up please. Then he goes to his middle child Olivia's room asking her to wake up for school. Lastly he goes to his oldest child Darcy's room who's 12 years old. Harry knocks on her door and steps inside. He hears what sounds like muffled cries.
"Darcy love, what's wrong?" Harry asked Darcy while taking a seat on the edge of her bed.
"My tummy really hurts dad." she replies.
"What kind of hurt love? Like pain hurt of sick hurt."
"I don't know. I don't feel as though I'm gonna be sick. It just hurts."
"Alright, you can stay home with me today. Once I get Teddy and Olivia ready for school, I'll give you some medicine. I'll call Jack my chauffeur and ask him to take them to school today so I don't have to leave you. Does that sound alright?"
"Yes thank you dad. Love you." Darcy says quietly.
"I love you to my love. Now get some rest and I'll be back in no time with some medicine for you to take." Harry speaks while laying a kiss to her forehead then exiting the room.
Harry gets Teddy all dressed in his uniform and helps him brush his hair and teeth. Then he does the same for Olivia. Once both kids are properly clothed, he goes down stairs to his kitchen and makes them a quick and easy breakfast. While they sit at the kitchen island eating their breakfast, Harry steps away to phone his chauffeur and ask if he could take his kids to school. (yes Harry has a chauffeur but he only uses him for emergencies or for formal events.) Jack agreed and said he would be at Harry's house in just a few minutes.
Jack the chauffeur came and picked up Teddy and Olivia to take them to school. Harry goes back into the kitchen to find some medicine for his daughter Darcy. He wasn't sure what kind of stomach ache she had. All he knew was that she said she didn't feel sick, so upset stomach medicine wasn't the best option for this instance. He just grabbed some generic pain medicine and a glass of water and headed back up to her room.
Waking up a sleeping Darcy, Harry sits on the edge of her bed handing her the pills and water and says, "Here Darcy. Take these and it should help your tummy pain. If not, I might need to take you to the doctors later."
She swallows the pills and replies back, "Thank you for the medicine dad."
"Its no problem sweetie. Just doing what a father does. Takes care of their sick child." Harry calmly states, "Also, I have to go into my studio room to write some songs with your Uncle Niall, so if you need anything , anything at all, please come get me."
"Will do."
Harry leaves Darcy's room and heads to go into his in home studio room to write some new songs with Niall, and Darcy tries to go back to sleep. Though it was difficult, she managed to fall back asleep for about an hour until she felt the urge to pee. She climbs out of bed and goes into her bathroom which is located in her bedroom. She pulls her pants and panties down like she normally would to sit on the toilet. Only this time she sees something different. Something her mum had told her about but she never really payed it any attention thinking she had a few more years to go before it came. Blood. She sees blood in her panties. That means she just got her period. Darcy still uses the toilet like normal, but when she wiped, the tissue was covered in blood. She felt like crying. How was she supposed to tell her dad that she just got her period. Men don't know anything about periods she thought and her mum was thousands of miles away so she is no help.
Darcy finishes using the toilet and makes her way down to her dad Harrys music studio room. Even from up stairs, she could hear her Uncle Niall's guitar echoing through the walls. She loves her Uncle Niall to pieces but what she's about to have to tell her dad, she wants it to be in private. Darcy approaches the door shyly and walks in.
"Umm dad, can I speak with you privately?" Darcy questions her dad.
"Of course." Harry said with a concerned face. "I'll be right back Niall."
Harry walks out of the studio room and into the hall where his daughter is standing.
"Yeah my love, what's wrong? Is your stomach still hurting?"
"Um yeah but I know why," Darcy says while not making eye contact due to her embarrassment, "I think I got my period. I went to the bathroom and there was blood in my panties. Also I accidently leaked a little on my bed."
"Come here," Harry says while wrapping his arms around his daughters body, "It's alright. I have just what you need. Follow me."
She's a bit confused as to why her dad would have period products at his house beings that he's single, but she doesn't think to much on it. Harry takes her into his bathroom and opens the cabinet under the sink. He takes out a mini bag that's got some pads and tampons inside.
"I made this for you knowing you'd get your period soon. There are some pads and tampons inside. But I think pads are better to start out with. Do you know how to use them?"
"I think so." she answers shyly and Harry can tell she's a bit embarrassed.
"Hey, look at me. There is no reason to be embarrassed. I might be your dad but I know quite a lot about periods. Did you forget I grew up with your gran and Gemma who both had periods each month. Not to mention, I was married to your mother for many years. Plus, periods are a good thing. Means you're a healthy, growing female. I'm going to step out while you get situated alright." he spits out.
Harry shuts the bathroom door to give his daughter some privacy and goes to find a heating pad he knows he has. Usually for when his back is hurting. Once he finds it, Harry plugs it in the wall socket by his bed. He figured she could lay down in his big king size bed while he washes her spoiled bedding. Just as he was plugging the heating pad up, Darcy opens the bathroom door.
"Alright, you can lay down in my bed if you want, and I got you a heating pad that should help you tummy pain. Is there anything else you need?" Harry asked Darcy.
"No I'm fine, but umm," Darcy stumbles on her words a bit, "could you maybe have a cuddle with me for a while. I mean when you get done with work that is."
"I'd love to. I'll be right back."
Darcy climbs into her fathers bed and Harry makes his way back to his music studio.
"Is everything alright?" Niall asks.
"Yep. She just got her first period and isn't feeling to well. Do you think we could cut this session up."
"Yeah of course mate." Niall replies back.
Niall gathers his things and heads out the front door and left out the security gates of Harry's home. Harry makes his way to his bedroom where he finds Darcy bundled up in his fluffy duvet sound asleep. He slips off his shoes and crawls in beside her fragile body. Then he scoots her body close to his so that her head is laying on his clothed tattooed chest. Harry runs his fingers in her hair and watches her peacefully sleep. About 10 minutes later, he finds himself dozing off with his daughter in his arms soundly.
Hope this was okay. I don't normally write fanfictions unless it has either Harrys wife or girlfriend as the reader but I made an exception for this request.
MASTERLIST
#ddm#harrystyles#daughter#harrystylesdaughter#sicfic#request#asked#first period#periods#period#hs#singleparent#dadharry#daddystyles
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The rock star life wasn't what Luka thought it'd be, though he supposed he could attribute it to his father constantly talking it up and raising his standards so high that nothing could've competed with them. It wasn't that he hated going on tours or playing for crowds, but there was definitely something wrong that he couldn't put into words.
Juleka at least seemed sympathetic to his concerns once he'd gotten back from his recent tour, and he chuckled when she threw him some money to solve the problem, insisting that he eat his sorrows away for now and worry about details later. They'd both planned to visit their mother to celebrate his return, so it was only appropriate that he be in higher spirits for it.
Rose was happy to give him the address of what was - according to her - "the best bakery in Paris," with Juleka non-subtly implying that the money she'd given wasn't only for him. Thoroughly amused, he complied, leaving to follow the directions to said bakery with his phone.
He felt lucky to have not run into any fans on the way there, hoping that the same would go for the way back. The last thing he wanted was to have his boxes of baked goods accidentally knocked over and ruined.
As he saw the bakery in the distance, he was surprised when he noticed that it had been right next to his and Juleka's old school. He distinctly remembered there being a bakery, but the name Rose had given him hadn't rung any bells. He checked his phone out of curiosity and confirmed that the name had been changed since his sister had been in the school, replacing the "Tom & Sabine" with "Dupain-Cheng."
With that mystery solved, he headed for the front door and opened it up, smiling at the chime of the bell that announced his entrance. There weren't any other customers around, leaving the lone worker to look over and notice him: a woman, probably around Juleka's age, dressed a little nicer than he'd expect and seeming to be in the middle of making something.
At the sight of him, she gasped and covered her mouth. "Y-you're—Luka Couffaine?!"
He flinched, expecting a fangirl moment, but instead, the girl blushed in embarrassment and ran away from him. She went over to a nearby towel, cleaning her hands of flour, then put the towel back and checked over her clothes.
"Sorry," she whined, glancing up at her hair and fussing over it. "I wasn't expecting any customers for a while."
She took a breath, then strutted over to the counter with the fake demeanor of a businesswoman. Placing her hands delicately on the counter's surface, she flashed him a shy smile, blushing as she asked, "Um... how may I help you?"
Oh, she was cute. That was Luka's entire train of thought, and he hadn't been able to catch it before his mind had already put it forth for him to both acknowledge and agree with.
"Ah—" He cleared his throat, only now realizing that he'd never asked Juleka what she wanted to eat.
"Do you need a drink?" the woman questioned, looking at him worriedly.
"Oh, no. Thank you though," he replied with a dismissive wave. "That was—I need to ask my sister what she wants."
"No problem!" She giggled. "It's not like you're holding up the line."
Really cute.
He tossed her a smile, then fished out his phone and quickly texted Juleka, asking her what he should be ordering. He knew he could've called her, but he preferred having something written to hand off instead of having to be the middle man between the Juleka on the phone and the woman in front of him.
Setting his phone down on the counter, where he'd see it once Juleka texted him back, he then turned his gaze back up. "So, you know me?"
"Yeah, I do. I'm actually a huge fan, and I have all of your albums," she replied. "Buuuuut, I've dealt with a lot of... over-enthusiastic people in my life, so I know what it's like. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable." A beat of silence passed, and she playfully added, "Plus, I'm on the clock."
He chuckled, half-wondering if she was actually different outside of work. "And... is this place yours? I saw that the name changed."
"Sort of." She shrugged. "It's a family business. My papa is Tom Dupain, my maman is Sabine Cheng, and I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng."
He was glad she'd told him her name, thankful that he didn't have to non-subtly try to ask for her name now. Marinette.
She continued, "My parents went away on vacation, so I'm in charge." Puffing out her chest with pride, she assured, "I'm proving that I can handle everything myself."
Luka broke out into a huge grin, thoroughly charmed. "I'm sure you can. You definitely have the energy for it."
He tried to hide his amusement at seeing her try not to blush and turn shy from the compliment. She clearly wore her heart on her sleeve and couldn't hide anything if her life depended on it.
He'd never heard a song like hers before.
"S-so!" she deflected in a way she probably thought was skillful. "If you don't mind me asking, how was your tour?"
"Mm?" He was briefly caught off-guard, not expecting to have to talk about himself, though he supposed he should've, given that she was apparently a fan of his. "Oh, it was fine."
She tilted her head, suddenly concerned. "It was only fine?"
Oops. Luka hoped it didn't show on his face that he knew he'd slipped up. He didn't doubt - based on the small amount of time he'd known her - that Marinette would've listened to his worries, but he didn't want her to fret over his career when she was a fan of his.
Thinking quickly, he replied, "Well, I'm just glad to be back home. My family's here."
She nodded in understanding, not seeming to fully believe him - perceptive little thing - but accepting anyway. "That makes sense. I'd never be able to leave my parents for that long. I'd miss them too much!"
He chuckled. She seemed like the kind of person to overthink about people like that. "Yeah. My sister practically threw me onto the plane for my first tour." He grinned. "We still shared a room back then and I think she was desperate for privacy with her girlfriend."
Marinette covered her mouth, trying to hide a sweet giggle that he discreetly stored away in his memory.
"Still," she began, her gaze softening along with her voice. Luka detected a distinct change in atmosphere as she continued, "I don't think it's good if you miss them too much on tour. I think your fans would understand if you kept your them shorter." She smiled reassuringly. "I know I would, so please don't overdo it."
He blinked, staring at her with surprise. It was almost funny to him how he'd hoped not to run into any fans on the way there, yet here he was now, glad to have this particular fan to talk to.
She was sweet. She was cute. She seemed to genuinely care about him, and he was—
His phone chimed with a familiar tone, and Luka figured that it might've been for the best that he wasn't able to finish that thought, already hearing his dad's rambles about fans and attachment and keeping them at a stage's distance.
He picked up his phone, offering Marinette a quick "thank you" for her kind words before opening up his conversation with Juleka.
He blanked at the message she sent.
Hey, here's the list (by the way, say "hi" to the baker while you're there; not suggesting anything but she's cute and totally your type since you're both really lame):
Luka had too many questions all at once. Had his sister sent him there just to try and get him a date? Would she have sent him to the Dupain-Cheng bakery otherwise? Was Rose in on it too?
Did he really have a type?
Luka glanced briefly up at Marinette, who seemed wholly oblivious to his internal conflict. Trying not to just stand there stupidly, he copied the list Juleka sent and put it into a memo app on his phone, not wanting to risk Marinette seeing the rest of the message.
He took a quick look around the display cases and added something for himself to the list, then set his phone back on the counter and slid it over to Marinette. She leaned over, taking a look at the list, then gave him an acknowledging smile and went off to fill the order.
He waited to make sure that she had everything on the list memorized, then picked his phone back up and navigated to the camera app, now all too aware of what Juleka's smug reaction would be when he got back with the absolute dumbest look on his face.
"Luka?" Marinette called after an indistinguishable amount of time. He met her gaze and she added hurriedly, "I-I hope I wasn't interrupting anything, but here's your order."
She slid the boxes across the counter, having put them in a bag for easy carrying. He placed her payment on the counter and smiled at her, assuring, "You didn't interrupt anything. Thank you."
He didn't notice how warm his voice had sounded until after the words were already out, and by then it was already too late to change it. Slipping his hand through the bag's handles, he lifted it up and kept his phone held in his other hand.
"Oh!" Marinette gasped. "Let me get the door for you!"
"You don't have to—"
"It's okay! Your hands are full!"
He wouldn't define them as "full," but she was already rushing to make to the door before he did. He didn't miss how she opened it like a boyfriend would for their girlfriend, even adding a bow just for flair.
The bell chiming seemed to be emphasizing her voice rather than his exit.
"Please come again!" she recited like it was something she told everyone. She paused, then blushed and stood straight, any professionalism gone as she stammered, "I-I'm sorry, is that weird to say since I'm your fan? I didn't mean to, but—well, do come back, but only if you want! So—"
"I do," he cut in, much to her apparent surprise. He maintained eye contact on the way out, adding fondly, "See you later, Marinette?"
"A-ah... see you!"
He immediately had to look away to prevent her from seeing the way he grinned at the squeak in her voice. He heard the bakery door close behind him and held his phone back up to his face. Glad that there weren't many people in the immediate area, he spent probably five minutes trying to make faces at his camera.
Eventually, he had to give up hope that Juleka wouldn't tease him, because the smile wouldn't leave his face no matter how hard he tried.
That didn't mean he wasn't going to visit the bakery tomorrow though, of course.
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Your thoughts on the epi? And the trailers? I'm loving the in love Edser! We've waited so long for this!!!
This episode was so fun and fluffy! I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the tone during this second season. A lot. I don't care how stupid the audition process was for the spot in the school, it gave us some very good comedy and a lot of USTy, sexy, flirty goodness.
And like you, I also love in love Edser!
Thankfully this episode was dominated by Edser, and with Kiraz at Granny's house we even got some alone time. The supporting characters were used to good effect this episode, Engin and Piril were the funniest they've ever been, Kerem and Pina served to poke Serkan about his mentoring style, and it was actually nice to have an excuse for Ayfer and Aydan to share a storyline again.
(more under the cut)
However, we'll start with Burak and Melo. UGH. I mean I love Melo and Elcin has done a really good job of showing Melo's heartbreak and trying to hide her melancholy behind her usual bubbly personality, but I really can't stand that it's over such a dud of a character. I know I'm a broken record here but Melo deserves better than this fool. Honestly, he's such a bland sad sack I don't really get why Melo loves him, Eda wants to be friends with him and Ayfer thinks he's so great she wants him for a nephew-in-law. Well, for Ayfer the only qualification is that he's not Serkan, so never mind that question.
However, maybe there's some hope? Before this episode it seemed certain they were heading in a romance direction, but the way he told her she was like a sister to him? Is there really any coming back from him saying that after he remembered kissing her? On the other hand we're barreling towards the end here and there's not really enough time to introduce anyone new for Melo (and no indication from spoilers that they have) and I'm pretty sure Ayse and the writers want to give her a romantic happy ending (although I'd be fine if they didn't and instead had her go off and do something entirely for herself like go back to school or travel or open a shop). So we'll see, because even with the sister line they left some room open because Kerem was the one who suggested he say that (it wasn't necessarily his own idea) and with Melo he seemed to be coming from a place where he assumed he had forced himself on her and she was angry because she didn't want it. Which we know is not true, so might be a misunderstanding that leads to something more. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to endure whichever way they go.
Personally, I like the Serkan-Kemal father storyline. I think it's a good way to add a bit of drama in the waning episodes, gives Serkan a bit of an identity crisis, interestingly mirrors his own situation with Kiraz, and it just makes sense with everything we know of the characters. Because were we seriously supposed to believe that someone as sniveling as Alptelkin sired Serkan? I mean Serkan is the epitome of BDE, he has an inherent charismatic and commanding presence. Sorry to the actor who played Alptekin, but he didn't really have any kind of presence, however Sinan who plays Kemal, does. They've done a great job of casting, because it just feels true. I believe Kemal and Serkan share genetics.
However, even before that storyline starts in earnest, it's interesting that Serkan was being a big baby, not wanting his mom with a man she clearly loves. I wish Eda would have pushed back at him a little more when he was going off that Aydan shouldn't pursue love at her age! Does he think he'll be out of love with Eda by the time he's in his 50s and 60s? Of course not! I'm guessing Eda, though, is just letting him blow off some steam and come to accept the relationship on his own terms. Don't get me wrong, though, after all the meddling Aydan's done with Edser, she more than deserves to have Serkan's opinion of Kemal negatively impact her!
Loved that Kiraz and Can found out first that Kemal is Serkan's father! Cat is out of the bag, Aydan, you can't make a deal with a 5 year old, lmao. It put a nice ticking clock on the whole thing and gave us some good comedic moments where Kiraz is speaking the truth and everyone thinks she's just really fond of the dude. Hee.
Also I enjoyed the Aydan and Ayfer moments. To be honest, I also used to enjoy their true friendship moments when we got them, like when Kemal first appeared and Aydan was freaking out and needed Ayfer and Seyfi around her, and when they were trying to hunt down Deniz after the fake wedding turned real. After so much animosity, it was nice that Ayfer recognized that Aydan was truly in distress and needed a friend and they were able to actually talk. Also we got some (mildly) funny comedy with the two of them and the school lady. Speaking of Ayfer, thankfully she finally realized some consequences to her actions in pushing Burak at Eda. She hurt Melo! Glad she finally opened her eyes to see what should have been obvious to her (Eda never saw him that way, and Melo obviously did) and apologized to Melo. I'd like it if she would apologize to Eda as well, (and Burak deserves an apology as well because she most definitely gave him false hope) but since Eda wasn't influenced by her we probably won't see that.
Switching to Eda and Serkan this episode gave us lots of good stuff. This was a great episode for showing us where each of them stood. Eda is terrified of getting hurt and trying to hold him at arm's length even while he clearly is inching back into her heart, and Serkan is dreaming of their future together, and taking every opportunity to tie them together. How much did I love Serkan admitting he was poking at Eda, and doig things to make her angry, just so she would talk to him? Interesting that he's doing it and love that he's being honest and admitting it to her. One of my favorite relationship dynamics between them is around "talking." In the very beginning Serkan did a lot of complaining about how much Eda talked and how she never shut up, but starting around episode 18 all he wanted was for Eda to talk to him. And this is just more of that. The thing he wants most is to talk to her.
Plus watching domestic Edser is just so much fun, I could watch their full grocery shopping trip in real time and be perfectly happy, lol. At the age of 35 it's time that Serkan learn how to do a few things for himself, I don't care how rich he is, so it's nice that we see him evolving a bit as he embraces the dad role.
The jealousy gambits, even as mild as they are, are getting pretty eye roll worthy since Eda and Serkan are living together, care so much, and obviously are still so hot for one another. It's a bit more understandable from Serkan since Eda is the one creating the barrier between them, but are we really supposed to believe that Eda is jealous of Deniz when Serkan is so obviously in love with Eda and planning their future together? Especially when he clearly can't stand Deniz and tries so hard to avoid her? I suppose it's to show us that Eda is in a jumbled state, her head is trying to keep space with Serkan, while her heart wants him badly and is scared he's going to take her rejections seriously. Even so it was quite irrational for her to get angry at Serkan for having lunch with Deniz when she ordered him to leave with her. Poor Eda is in emotional turmoil.
It was hard to tell with shaky translations, but I guess Serkan claimed to have been injured while rescuing Eda and that's how he talked his way into her bed? Impressively done, Serkan. Love it because it meant we all got to wake up to snuggly family, snuggling together. This gave us another glimpse into Eda's psyche, she wakes up first, and is clearly enjoying it and feeling at home in his arms, until the sleep clears enough and her head realizes she's not supposed to be enjoying it. But once again Kiraz knows how to handle her parents and their complicated relationship beautifully and fixes everything with a pillow fight. That is one smart cookie.
One of my favorite moments of the episode is when Eda is trying to convince Serkan to go to Aydan about the school. Eda knows that her big eyes still work on him, and they did. He still can't say no to her, another one of my favorite relationship dynamics of theirs. I'm super glad some things never change. Speaking of their visit to Aydan's, how great that they went to meet the horse without a name as a family, and then Serkan finally came up with the perfect name. Definitely a star.
Love, love, love that Serkan and Eda beat Engin and Piril when it came to the 'how well do you know your spouse' game. They may have been separated for 5 years, but they both have a genuine interest in the other, so they remember things, and they always made a much more compatible couple than Engin/Piril who have absolutely nothing in common. Of course I adored all the fake married hijinx this gave us, not to mention all the opportunities for Serkan to touch, kiss, and hold her. SO MUCH UST!
The heart-to-heart on the bench was well done and it finally gave us Eda opening up and telling him what's been holding her back. She's scared. Of course she is, the poor thing. Serkan might have thought he was doing it for her own good both times, but he ripped her heart out twice (not even counting all the heart ripping he did during amnesia) how could she not have fears? Of course she's afraid! Whenever she lets herself love him and be loved by him, it's ripped away horribly, and often in ways that feels like it's him doing the ripping. She can take into consideration the circumstances, which she has or else he wouldn't be anywhere near her, and still need time to be sure she's not just setting herself up to get emotionally demolished again.
For Serkan's part all he can do is keep being there, being honest with her, and showing he's in it for the long haul, which I think he's doing and which is why they are where they are at the end of this episode.
Engin and Piril's dance practice is probably the first Engin/Piril alone scene that I thought was genuinely funny and fully enjoyable. I can't think of another... message me if you think there is one, lol. Elsewhere, I saw some folks saying that Engin and Piril should have won the dance competition, because they actually danced, and Eda and Serkan didn't. LOL, you think? I'm pretty sure that was the point. That Eda and Serkan didn't really dance, all they did was get up there and turn their sexual tension and intense smoldering towards one another up to eleventy and won because it's that powerful.
It's sort of a metaphor for this whole series. Sen Cal Kapimi is 100% powered by their chemistry. Of course they can win any competition by just pressing their bodies against one another! They can turn a ditzy Turkish summer romcom that probably should have gone 13 eps into an international hit that's going on 50 episodes, just by looking at one another.
I'm glad that the school officials overheard their conversations and dismissed them, any organization that requires this of the parents, is going to be a lifelong pain-in-the ass, lmao. Also it was good to see Edser and EnPir make up by the end.
Now, on to that ending. I'm glad the subject of the tatoos was brought up, interesting that Eda kept hers until a few months ago. Also interesting that she moved it... can't blame Serkan for wanting to see it. Was that one great seduction line, or what?
I join with everyone who thinks it was a slightly awkward place to leave the episode. We only have 13 (probably) episodes this season, and we've only had one kiss so far. That was definitely a moment for a kiss. Part of me thinks they were going for the cliffhanger, what will Eda do? Will she kiss him or slam the door in his face? Tune in next week to find out! Except that audiences have to wait no time at all for the fragman and that makes any such cliffhanger moot. So what's the point? Have her pull him in, kiss him, and the show can end with them passionately making out and the door slamming with the camera outside the house.
Oh well, it is what it is, and we can only hope they pick up next week right where they left off. As for the fragman, obviously they are fully back together for this episode which means she lets him in to hunt for her tattoo. (please oh please give us that internet ozel because I don't think I can stand being online in this fandom if they don't. Thankfully I'm traveling next week and will be too busy to spend much time on twitter.)
As I said in another ask, I'm not surprised Serkan is barreling them straight towards marriage. When you know, you know, so why wait? Once they emotionally commit to one another, they need to just get married. No waiting for psychos to interfere, family to meddle, or tragedy to strike!
Seriously can't wait for a full episode of them together and Serkan figuring out how to propose. I'm also looking forward to the Kemal/Serkan stuff, it will be interesting to see how he reacts once the news sets in... should be a great episode!
#Sen Çal Kapımı#Sen Cal kapimi#edser#sckask#sck episode discussion#edser discussion#sck 2x46#serkan bolat#asklizac#architecture
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Willie Headcanons
So I actually came up with this like a month ago and forgot to post it. Anyway enjoy my headcanons about our favorite sk8er boi. Be ready for feels.
Tw: death, car accident mention, emotional manipulation.
...
In my mind, Willie had a good relationship with his parents. They were supportive and everything. They both loved Willie very much.
And Willie has youngest child energy so I’m saying he has a sister who’s 2 years older and a brother who’s 5 years older. Their names are Delilah and Austin.
AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES.
Seriously imagine the worst possible combination of head empty only skateboarding and you’ve got Willie, Delilah, and Austin.
Austin started skating when he was 7 and got Delilah hooked on it a year later.
Their parents kinda didn’t like the idea of it but those two had already started teaching Willie basic stuff by the time he was 3.
But... the other two had other interests. Delilah was into art (painting) and Austin played piano (like, really well).
For Willie, skateboarding was his thing. And it always was.
He had fun with it when his big brother would put his hands on his and teach him to play a bit, or his sister would give him some paint and a spare canvas and they’d doodle together, but it wasn’t like skating.
As far as I’ve seen (which admittedly isn’t that far) it’s widely accepted that Willie has ADHD so I’m leaning into that here.
And Willie inherited his brain from his dad, who had a bad experience with meds and so wouldn’t let any of his kids go through it.
So Willie grew up unmedicated but probably better off for the time period. His dad taught him coping mechanisms. Him and Austin. Delilah didn’t inherit it but she was taught to empathize with her brothers and recognize when they needed her help with something.
She’s a badass who can and does beat up anybody who’s mean to her brothers for missing social cues.
But anyway while Austin had piano (and skating as a side thing) Willie got even more hooked on skateboarding than either of his siblings because his brain latched onto it from a young age and couldn’t let go.
We all have our outlets. The chaos in our brains has to go somewhere. For Willie it goes into skating.
When he’s young he and his siblings will skateboard to school and then after school they’ll skate all around Hollywood for hours.
They do their homework in random McDonalds and Denny’s and tbh become local cryptid customers. Like they’re just these 3 super friendly skater siblings who tip really well and visit every fast food place within a 20 mile radius of their house with varying frequency.
They also find e v e r y skatepark, empty pool, and vacant lot in that 20 mile radius that they can possibly find.
Their parents have to bail them out of jail for trespassing and the occasional vandalism every so often.
Sometimes one of them has stuff to do and it’s just two of them out skating but if two of them are busy the other one never goes out alone cause it’s dangerous. We’ll get back to that later.
So anyway when they’re 17, 14, and 12, Delilah comes out as a lesbian.
And the family is supportive of course because they’re a good family.
But her coming out gets Willie thinking. About how some of his friends have crushes on girls but he just... doesn’t see the appeal.
Like he has a couple friends who are girls and they’re great and he likes hanging out with them at recess but he doesn’t get the hype. They’re just more friends. So he doesn’t really see what his big sister is so interested in either.
In my mind Willie actually is from around the same time as the boys (dying in like 1999) so one day while nobody else in their house is home he and Delilah are watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Willie’s again wondering why people think Leia is so hot cause she’s cool and all but Luke is right there and he looks really good and—
Willie: I think I might be gay.
Delilah: Yeah I know.
They talk about it and Willie does decide to tell the rest of the family but he’s a bit wary about anyone else because he saw how some of Delilah’s friends turned on her after she came out. He doesn’t want that to happen to him.
He does end up telling a few of his friends but he doesn’t quite not care what people think of him the way his big sister does.
Austin is the only straight one and he’s like. So awkward about it but in a sweet way.
Austin: So, Britney Spears is hot, right?
Delilah: Stop.
And
Austin: So I saw you hanging around Chris the other day are you two..?
Willie: ...no...???
Austin: Cool, yeah I didn’t think so. Just had to make sure. Not that I’m doubting your ability to get boys but I’d have to shovel talk him if you were.
Willie: If I ever do get a boyfriend, please don’t.
He tries. He’s a himbo if that wasn’t clear. Where did you think Willie learned it?
So anyway fast forward a couple years and they’re 22, 19, and 17. Austin and Delilah are both in college and Willie’s the last one left at home and things between their parents start getting... tense.
Like they don’t fight exactly but they’ve fallen out of love and things are awkward.
Even Austin and Delilah can tell and they’re only home on breaks and some weekends but for Willie it’s right there and he’s watching it happen. He has no option but to see.
They used to have a rule that they don’t go skating alone because it’s dangerous but Willie just can’t make himself stay home so he goes out skateboarding.
At first it’s never too far from home or anywhere where there’s too much traffic but as things get increasingly awkward at home he goes out farther and farther, chasing the adrenaline high he used to get from going anywhere and everywhere every day after school with his siblings.
Then his parents officially tell him they’re getting divorced and
And it’s not like he couldn’t see it coming, but... it still hurts.
And neither of his siblings are coming home any time soon so
So he goes out skating on his own, way too far from home. He keeps going until he doesn’t even know where he is anymore.
He isn’t really paying attention the way he should but that’s not why he runs into trouble.
The driver of that red pickup is drunk and he rounds the corner out of nowhere.
If Delilah or Austin had been there they could have yelled for Willie to jump out of the way, or maybe up on the hood so the impact wouldn’t be as bad, but he’s alone.
So he gets hit, and the car was going fast enough that he’s dead before he even hits the pavement.
After that there’s a lot of confusion but once Willie figures out he’s a ghost... it’s too painful to think about going home, so he just... doesn’t.
He doesn’t want to see his family mourning him, so he just distracts himself, skating everywhere he couldn’t before without getting busted.
Plus some old routes where he used to go with Delilah and Austin, just for something that’s familiar but not too familiar.
He’s on one of those more familiar routes a few weeks after his death when he’s skating down Sunset Boulevard one night, singing along to Toxic by Britney Spears blasting from a nearby club and a man dressed in a purple suit comments on how he’s got a good voice.
Honestly Willie is just so relieved to have someone to talk to that he forgets about stranger danger completely.
Plus he recognizes an Elder Gay in Caleb and assumes he can trust him because the Elder Gays he met at pride that one time he went with Delilah were so nice and understanding of how reassuring it was to see queer people of older generations who got a happy ending.
Caleb barely even has to try. He just lets this 17-year-old obviously-queer ghost rant at him for a few minutes, asks a few questions and finds out that he also can play piano, and convinces him to come to the Hollywood Ghost Club the next night.
From there it’s not like Willie has anyone to save him so of course he has to join the club.
At first he’s completely alone because the other performers scare him almost as much as Caleb does.
Then slowly, he sees how they give him space because they know he’s scared of them. How they turn a blind eye when he leaves the club without permission. How they don’t critique his mistakes with the same sarcasm they show each other.
Willie starts to realize that the other performers are doing their best to look out for him, and he starts being less afraid.
They’re all too concerned with their own survival to really protect him but if they draw some attention to themselves occasionally so Caleb doesn’t notice Willie being slow to pick up some tricky choreography, that’s not too risky.
The others are all like 21 at the youngest and they really don’t appreciate Caleb tricking a literal child into working for him no matter how talented said child is. (Cause Willie is good at singing and piano. It’s just not his passion.)
The twins are 22 but they died in 1925 and before that they were performing to support a younger brother who they never got to say goodbye to so maybe they see Willie as a kind of second chance.
Lyssa (what I decided to name drummer woman because I don’t know her real name if she has one) is 25 and she died in 1984. She had a daughter who’d be about Willie’s age now and... who knows? Maybe they were friends.
Fuego is 24 and from 1951 and he had a childhood best friend who enlisted and died in WWII that he thought he might get to see when he died but that boy moved on and so... well, Willie’s just a little younger than his friend was the last time he saw him.
In short Willie becomes everyone’s baby brother and they do what they can to look out for him even if they’re just as scared of Caleb as he is.
And the better adjusted Willie gets to (after)life at the HGC and the better they get to know him, the guiltier the others start to feel about him being stuck there.
Eventually a combination of guilt and worked-up courage leads Fuego tells him about the whole unfinished business thing, in hopes maybe he can figure his out and get away from Caleb.
It doesn’t take Willie long to think of his family, how hopeless he felt about the divorce, how worried he was it would change everything and then how scared he was to see his family in pain because of his death.
He realizes his unfinished business is probably seeing them. Letting himself say goodbye.
He almost gets away with it.
Caleb catches up and stops him in the driveway of his house and poofs them back to the HGC.
He convinces (gaslights) Willie into believing that saying goodbye was never his unfinished business and even if it was it’s not like it would matter because Caleb wouldn’t let him do it.
The next morning he ships the HGC out to Tokyo. They stay on the move for a long time and when they are in town, Willie is basically locked in his room.
The next time he’s allowed out in Hollywood, his parents don’t live in their old house anymore and he has no way to find them.
As a coping mechanism, he just starts making the best of a bad situation. Becoming better friends with the other ghosts. Helping soften the blow whenever someone new comes along.
None of that means he stops checking the faces of passing skaters or keeping eyes on restaurants his folks used to like, but it does mean he more or less gives up hope.
That’s what he’s doing when he bumps into Alex.
Look, Willie loves his friends at the HGC. He really does. But there’s a big difference between 17 and 20-something. Like the others will drink alcohol some nights and technically Willie was born over 21 years ago but he still feels weird enough about it that he doesn’t drink.
He hasn’t talked to anyone his age in a long time so Alex is a breath of fresh air.
Also he’s like. Really cute. And sweet. And funny. And shit, Willie’s fallen for him before he even has time to think about it.
He keeps thinking about how Alex doesn’t seem like he’d be physically capable of hurting someone on purpose so Austin would approve and every once in a while there’s that sarcasm that pops out which means he’d get along great with Delilah.
In general Alex is the kind of guy he would’ve loved to take home to meet the family. Them not included, he’s kind of... everything Willie’s missed about Hollywood in the form of one person.
Then they hang out more and Alex is still everything he’s missed but he’s also so much more than that and...
It almost feels like a part of Alex is still alive. And for the first time in years, a part of Willie feels alive, too.
They’ve known each other for like a week tops and Willie is already in love.
Not that he’s admitting that to anyone, because he’s learned the hard way that anyone you care about can be used against you.
Still... when Alex asks for help getting revenge on Bobby, he can’t bring himself to say no because he needs to keep Alex in his (after)life and the only way he knows how to do that (or to make people be nice to him in general) is to be as useful as possible.
That turns out to be a big mistake, because Caleb sees right through him in an instant, targets Alex to confirm it, then immediately starts the process to trick the boys into committing to eternity at the HGC.
Willie feels like an idiot for thinking he could actually get away with it. Doing something good for someone he cares about.
He hadn’t thought Caleb would be interested in them because he’d never actually heard them play. The assumption was that he’d make them do some small favor and then let them talk to their bandmate for 5 minutes. A clean deal where they never have to commit to anything. Willie forgot to take magic into account.
He almost manages to convince himself it was all a bad dream, but when he seeks out Alex and his friends to check on them, he can almost feel the jolts himself, and seeing Alexthem in pain feels terrible.
Willie knows that theoretically they could figure out their unfinished business and cross over, but that all depends on finding it and doing it fast enough and if they failed...
People you care about can be used against you. And Willie does not want to be used against Alex again. He doesn’t want to see Alex used against him.
So he keeps his distance, in hopes Caleb will think he lost interest. He’s pretty sure once the boys find out about the stamp they’ll hate him, anyway.
And plus, as he’s been taught by his friends at the HGC, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Maybe you hurt somebody by not standing up for them, but you can apologize later and hope they forgive you. You can’t apologize if you’re gone, and it’s not like it would make a difference anyway because Caleb is too powerful for anyone to beat.
The thought of how spending eternity with Alex might not be so bad even if it has to be at the HGC does come up, but ironically that’s what makes Willie decide to screw his courage to the sticking point and tell them.
Because he has seen what decades at the club has done to his friends.
They’re all great performers, and they perform happiness well even to each other, but Willie knows them enough to know how tired they all are. How they have been doing the same thing over and over again for decades and they are sick of it.
They’re young, talented tragedies lost to drug overdoses, or AIDS, or accidents, or suicide, and they should’ve gotten to rest after everything they went through in their lives. Instead, they got a curse disguised as a blessing. They got to stay on a stage, got to keep performing and soaking up applause, never got to stop.
Willie has been there a shorter time than most of them and he feels it. The exhaustion, because ghosts are supposed to haunt for a few years then figure out their unfinished business and move on. They’re not meant to be trapped for decades, used as party tricks.
A part of Alex still feels alive and being trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club for years on end would kill that part of him.
Willie can’t let that happen, so as hard as it is...
He tells the boys what’s wrong with them. And by that hurt, betrayed look in Alex’s eyes, he’s honestly expecting him to never forgive him.
But then Alex does. And that almost hurts worse because whether he figures out his unfinished business or not, Willie doubts he’s ever going to see him again.
He honest to God almost cries when Alex hugs him because... shit, he hasn’t gotten a hug since he was breathing.
He goes back to the HGC and tries to go about his day, and keeps replaying how good it felt to have Alex’s arms around him, hoping that memory will get him through the next few decades on his own.
The ghosts at the club do actually gossip a fair amount and by this point all of them know about the 3 dead members of Sunset Curve.
So when Willie admits to Helen (what I’m calling one of the twins) that Alex hugging him was the first time he’d gotten a hug since he died, she hugs him tight for a good 20 seconds, telling him she’s sorry he has to lose him, and if Willie closes his eyes he can almost pretend it’s Delilah.
The next thing he knows, he’s locked in a closet.
Caleb comes to talk to (intimidate) him a few hours later, saying he knows what Willie did.
He’s magically locked in his room alone for a couple weeks after that and it’s essentially psychological torture.
Helen, Anna (what I decided to call the other twin), Dante, Fuego, Lyssa, and everyone else tell him not to test Caleb for the next couple years, but Willie has a heart full of love and a head full of fuck it, so he doesn’t listen.
He gives it exactly one day of being/acting scared and obedient, then goes out without permission again, fully intending to scream in a museum alone to let out all his feelings.
Remember: Willie didn’t see the Orpheum performance. He doesn’t know the boys didn’t cross over but by Caleb’s mood he has a feeling the outcome of that scenario was not in the magician’s favor.
He gets there and it’s literally this comic by the very talented @williessweatycherrysocks
He can’t stay long but he and Alex scream in each other’s faces, talk a bit, maybe sing a duet.
After that, they sneak to see each other when they can but don’t get to see much of each other for months.
It’s hard on both of them but they don’t give up on their relationship.
Through long and complicated events which I will outline later, Willie eventually gets free of the HGC, hugs his friends goodbye already making plans to take down Caleb for good to free them, too, and promptly declines an offer to stay in the Molinas’ garage.
As much as he wants to be close to Alex he’s done being confined to one place.
He still comes and visits like every day tho.
He knows a lot more about ghosting than the other boys do so he and Carlos get along amazingly like:
Carlos: So do you know who Jack the Ripper was?
Willie: No? How old do you think I am?
Carlos: I dunno but I thought it might be Caleb cause that would explain how he never got caught.
Willie, taking notes in his Things To Potentially Use To Take Caleb Down notebook: You’re a tiny genius.
No one was expecting it but everyone is in awe of how well he and Carrie get along. Between the two of them they know so much celebrity gossip. (and it’s definitely a good thing he’s on good terms with her cause she and Alex are close)
On the angsty side, Willie also bonds with Nick over how they both know how it feels to be manipulated and used by Caleb.
Also it takes a long time before he’s able to trust him, but he does get adopted into the Molina clan by Ray.
Ray reminds him a lot of his own dad, once Willie’s able to see that he’s nothing like Caleb.
Ray’s honestly just 100% happy to Dad™️ anyone who needs a dad so it works out great once Julie and the boys figure out how to make Willie visible.
But anyway back to important stuff.
Now that they don’t have to hide for any reason, Willie and Alex can both breathe a little easier. Or... they both feel better. Ghosts don’t really breathe.
Willie can finally let himself get used to feeling alive again.
The whole ghost gang goes (invisibly) to the Los Feliz Homecoming dance and maybe it should make him feel a little on-edge with the kind of club-like environment but...
He’s got Alex there, and they’re dancing to some corny pop love song from the 90s that Flynn probably put on because she knew the ghost boys would be there so how could he feel anything but safe?
For a minute it almost feels like actually being alive and there’s yellow and pink and blue lights coming from everywhere reflecting in Alex’s eyes and Willie is suddenly very aware of the fact that though they’ve been together for a long time now, they haven’t had their first kiss.
Then the Cha Cha Slide starts up and the atmosphere switches and Willie totally forgets about the whole romantic tension thing because it’s the Cha Cha Slide everybody has to dance along.
Dirty Candi performs towards the end of the night and the ghost boys cheer the loudest despite how Julie’s laughing at them. They don’t care that Carrie can’t even hear them, they’re being supportive!!!
Everybody screams even louder when Flynn runs up on stage and kisses Carrie and Willie feels a big burst of affection at how Alex shouts ABOUT TIME!
Then he gives Willie a quick hug and leaves cause he and the rest of Julie and the Phantoms have to go get set up for their performance.
Since Alex was able to flip Carrie’s hair in All Eyes on Me I’m saying that ghosts can touch lifers if they focus and believe it will happen hard enough, so the ghost gang has developed a system for alerting their non-Julie lifer friends to their presence.
So while they’re waiting in the crowd Willie taps Carrie on the shoulder like: • - - one short tap, two long taps, a Morse code ‘W’ and Carrie lets Flynn know that he’s there.
(Nick can see him too but Nick’s off somewhere with his date {one of his lacrosse teammates you know the one})
Anyway so Julie goes out and starts up the song and then the rest of the band poofs in but
Something’s unusual.
Cause it’s not Luke on the lower main vocals.
It’s
Alex
Singing while he plays the drums and fucking killing it.
Willie totally bluescreens for a second but then when he actually focuses on the lyrics...
It’s a new song about beating the odds and being with the person you love in spite of the challenges that come with them.
And yeah there are Julie elements in there, (and she’s definitely making heart eyes at Luke even as he sticks to backup vocals) because of course there are since she has to start the song up, but
But Willie might not have any formal music training, but he was at the HGC long enough to know his stuff about music and recognize different artists’ styles.
And there’s a time signature switch on the bridge that’s a little off from how Luke would write it. There’s a swing to the melody that’s a bit more ‘pop’ than the band’s usual songs. Julie’s harmony doesn’t go as high as it normally would, as if whoever wrote the song didn’t have as high of an upper range to work with as she does.
The song is so unmistakably Alex that no one else could have written it.
Flynn and Carrie are quietly making smug comments on what they bet his face looks like right now but Willie’s not listening to them.
On the last chorus, Alex fucking winks at him right before poofing out.
Willie has whiplash like how did they go from him having to psych Alex up to break into a museum even when there’s zero chance of getting caught to Alex openly flirting with him from the stage?
He poofs backstage right as the boys get back from dropping their instruments back in the Molinas’ garage and he honestly doesn’t know what he even wants to say to convey how amazing that performance was.
Then Alex just smiles at him.
Alex: So I take it you liked the song?
Willie: Can I kiss you right now?
They both kinda freeze after he blurts that out and Reggie goes wow really quietly before he and Luke poof out to give them some privacy and whoops now they’re both flustered but
Alex: Wow, didn’t expect that. That’s... um, wow. But yeah.
They kiss and it’s a total romcom moment.
And the story’s far from over, but to Willie this definitely feels like happily ever after.
#julie and the phantoms#julie and the himbos#jatp#willie jatp#willex#alex mercer#hollywood ghost club#caleb covington#fuego jatp#julie molina#carlos molina#luke patterson#reggie peters#ray molina#carrie wilson#flynn jatp#death tw#car accident tw#emotional manipulation tw#violet’s writing#violet’s headcanons
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right where you left me
A/N: So here it is, a full 3 days after I said I’d post it. Things have been pretty crappy, so I apologize if there was anyone out there who actually cared about this fic. The idea came to me while listening to right where you left me by Taylor Swift. I had this image of like, okay, we know about Lorraine, but what if there was someone back in Texas still waiting for Javi, after all this time? And from that thought, came this. it’s not beta-read in the slightest, so I’m so sorry if there’s any typos or sentences that don’t sound right. Thanks, y’all. Enjoy.
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: maybe some language?? abandonment, Javier Peña
Prom night was supposed to be the best night of your high school career. And at first, it really felt like it might be. Your best friend Javier Peña was taking you, and you had picked the perfect dress. You and Javi were going as friends, but you really thought that this might finally be the night that you worked up the courage to tell him how you felt. You’d been dancing around each other for months, and tonight was the night that you’d finally take your friendship to a new level.
At 8pm sharp, there was a knock on your door. Javi was always right on time. You walked down the stairs slowly, like you’d seen girls do in movies, but Javi just smiled up at you and went, “Hey, you actually look like a human instead of a troll today!”
Needless to say, you weren’t exactly ecstatic at the start of the night. By the time you got to the prom, though, you had calmed down and reminded yourself that Javi was prone to sticking his foot in his mouth. He was probably just not used to seeing you dressed up.
“You alright, squirt?” Javi asked as he helped you out of his truck and started to lead you into the school. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”
“No, I’m fine!” You smiled up at him, determined to have a good night. “Ready to force you to dance with me all night.”
Javi laughed at that. “I’ll give you three dances, alright squirt?”
“Deal!” You beamed up at him. Javi’s heart skipped a beat, like it always did when you smiled at him like that.
In the end, you got four and a half dances out of him. He wasn’t happy about it, but he would do anything you asked him to.
After the prom, you both ended up at the diner you worked at part-time, sharing a milkshake and a plate of fries. That was when the bomb dropped.
“I’m leaving,” he suddenly blurted out, halfway through the milkshake.
“Oh, okay, I’ll go get us a box—” you started to offer helpfully.
“No, I…” he grabbed your hand to stop you getting up, “I, uh, I’m going to Quantico. After graduation.”
Quantico was a conversation that had been looming over the two of you for the last three months. Javi wanted to go, and he wanted you to go up to Virginia with him. He begged you to at least apply to the schools in the area. He needed his best friend.
You’d been denied financial aid from the schools that you applied to.You would be staying in Texas. Eventually, with his father’s health declining after catching a bad bit of pneumonia, it had started to look like Javi might be staying in Texas too. But Chucho ended up making a full recovery, and insisted Javi went to Quantico to advance his career.
It seemed he would be taking his father’s advice. He would be leaving you.
But, you realized, the way Javi was telling you, the way his eyes were pleading with you now… It was almost as if he was waiting for you to ask him not to go. Javi would do anything you asked him to. But you couldn’t ask him to give up his future.
“I’m happy for you, Javi,” you managed to get out, tears collecting in your eyes as you smiled. “You’ve worked so hard to get there, you’re going to be amazing.”
Javi looked almost heartbroken. He had been so sure that you were going to yell and scream at him, beg him to please just stay. Yet, here you were, encouraging him to do the one thing he simultaneously wanted more than anything and didn’t want at all.
He just nodded silently and waited for you to finish the milkshake before taking you back home. You had both been anxious on the ride home. You knew it was now or never, because he was leaving in a week. The problem was that you weren’t going with him. Could you do it, knowing you’d be giving him a taste of what would never be?
You didn’t have time to think too hard about it before Javi had your face in his hands and was planting the sweetest kiss on your lips.
Before you could stop yourself, you whispered, “But, you’re leaving…”
The both of you stayed frozen for a few moments, before the tears in your eyes spilled over and you were rushing inside. Javi didn’t chase you, even though he wanted to.
The two of you avoided each other at school the following Monday. And then, a week later, he left.
Five years passed without much more than a few phone calls and a handful of letters passed between the two of you. You both chose to ignore the way that prom night ended. You needed each other too much. Even if it was a distanced friendship now, you chalked it up to growing up. Of course you weren’t going to be best friends forever, and it was foolish of you to consider that the distance wouldn’t change things.
But then, Javi walked into the diner. The same diner where he told you he was leaving. The same diner you still worked at every night, noon to close.
You couldn’t stop yourself from running up to him and grabbing him in a tight hug. He hugged you back, of course, squeezing you tightly and murmuring sweet nothings into your ear about how much he missed you.
“Javi, what are you doing here?! You’re supposed to be working for the DEA!” You squeezed him tighter, despite questioning his presence.
“What, I can’t visit home every once in a while, squirt?” He smirked that trademark smirk of his. You finally pulled back, crossing your arms over your chest and quirking an eyebrow.
“We haven’t seen you here since Christmas four years ago. And even then, only your dad saw you because you were only here for a night.”
“Alright, alright, I get it, I need to visit more,” he grumbled. His energy shifted into a nervous one. “You know, I’m actually here to, uh, give you this. I wanted to give it to you in person.”
He pulled a small slip of paper from his jacket, and you felt the blood leaving your head. You’d seen so many of these in the past two years, but you supposed you were getting to that age now.
“I wanted you to hear it from me,” he said gently, “because you mean more to me than anything. There’s a plus-one, if you, uh, need it.”
His brow furrowed as he said it, as though he was upset at the idea of you having a plus-one, and you were so confused by his expression that you almost forgot to take the paper from him. The invitation. A wedding invitation. Javi, your Javi, was getting married. You could hear a pin drop in the silence of the diner, mostly empty now, save for a few tables quietly eating amongst themselves.
“Congratulations, oh my god,” you finally exclaimed, quickly hugging him quickly so that he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to overflow. You hoped you sounded excited enough to throw off suspicion.
The two of you caught up over a milkshake and a plate of fries, and for a moment you could almost forget that five years had passed. You could almost forget the wedding invitation burning a hole into your apron.
When he asked you about your relationships, you were embarrassed to tell the truth. But you did, because you couldn’t exactly lie to Javi. He was still your best friend, distance and time spent away aside. You told him the truth, that none of the guys you met were the right fit. It was hard to find a good guy in this small town, you had jested. It was true. The best one had left.
Eventually, Javi left with a slip of, “Lorraine’s waiting for me—,” and you cut him off with a pained smile and a, “It’s fine, no it’s totally fine, I have to finish my shift anyways!”
In the end, you couldn’t make yourself go to the wedding. You picked up an extra shift that night, and focused on polishing each piece of silverware until it sparkled.
You’d learn two days later that Javi left her at the altar. Well, that is to say, he never even made it to the altar. He didn’t arrive to the church at all. He simply turned around, and booked a flight back to Quantico, tux and all. He was on the first plane out.
You didn’t know if you wanted to slap him or kiss him. You figured that it didn’t matter. You’d never get the chance to do either one.
———————————————————————
Ten years passed after that. You saw Javi at some Christmases, and you were sure to give him hell for leaving a woman at the altar, but for the better half of ten years, you didn’t see him. When he went down to Columbia, he didn’t come home for holidays. He didn’t want to bring any trouble back up to Texas. It was understandable, but your heart ached every day.
You tried to move on. You’d been trying for fifteen years. But, if you were honest with yourself, there was just no one for you like Javi. No one could compare to him.
You were still working at the diner, but you’d been promoted. The old owner, when he passed away, left the entire thing in your name. He requested that his estate pay off the rest of the mortgage and overdue bills, and you were gifted the diner, completely debt free. You refused to just accept the free money, though. Along with your new duties as the owner, you still worked at the diner five nights per week. If you were honest with yourself, you didn’t really have anything else to do. Your cat had food and water, your plants were watered in the morning, and you didn’t have anyone waiting for you at home. So, every night you helped serve tables, run food, and even bus if it was busy enough. You were happy to work. It kept your mind off of how lonely you were.
You were working on closing up one cold, rainy night, when you heard the door open. You never got any patrons after 11pm, so you immediately grew suspicious. You subtly reached for the baseball bat you kept behind the counter.
“We’re closing up, can I help—,” you froze. Javi was standing in the diner soaking wet and shivering. “Oh my god, Javi?”
“H-Hey squirt,” he managed to get out through his chattering teeth.
You hurried over to him, shoving his jean jacket off his shoulders. “You’re going to make yourself sick in these wet clothes! Come on, I’ve got some stuff in the employee lost and found that might work.”
You quickly locked up the front and ushered a shaking Javi to the back room, shoving the first clothes you found that might fit him into his arms. He started stripping his shirt off before you could turn around, and you felt yourself going bright red. After an embarrassingly long moment of you being frozen in shock, you managed to spin around and hurry out to the front with a, “I’m gonna make you something warm to drink!”
Your shaky hands somehow threw two mugs of tea together, and you set them on a table just as Javi came out of the back dressed in oversized sweats and a tie dye hoodie. You offered a small smile and sat at the booth, before realizing it was the booth that you’d sat at together so many times. This was the booth that you’d sat at the night he told you he was leaving. And the night he’d invited you to his wedding.
He sat at the other side of the booth, his ears a bit pink as he bashfully avoided your eyes.
“T-Thanks for the clothes. I don’t know why I didn’t grab an umbrella as I left,” he ducked his head.
You just gently pushed the mug of tea closer to him. “So, what brings you here? What did I do to be graced with your presence on this fine night?”
You didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so snarky, but you saw Javi flinch at your words. His hands wrapped around the warm mug as he stared into the tea.
“I’m, uh… I’m back from Columbia. For good.”
That wasn’t what you’d expected. In your surprised state, you took a moment to examine Javi. This Javi was rugged and worn out. He had permanent bags under his eyes, worry lines in his forehead, a thick, prominent mustache on his lip where there used to be only peach fuzz. His shoulders were hunched over and tense, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on them. And he was, you realized.
The man in front of you was not the boy you graduated high school with. He wasn’t even the man who left his wife at the altar. This man was seasoned and hard, well aware of the darkest horrors that the world possessed.
“What happened down there, Javi?” You had to ask. You knew from the way his jaw clenched that he didn’t want to talk about it, but you also knew that if he didn’t talk about it with you, then there was no one else who stood a chance.
And so, he told you. He recounted his struggles finding Escobar, and then Escobar’s escape. He told you about Escobar’s death, and then the rise of the Calí cartel. The things he’d thought he had to do for the cause. The things he would never repeat to anyone else for years to come. The nightmares that plagued his mind every night. And you listened to him. You didn’t interrupt, except to reach across the table and grab his hand, squeezing tightly every so often to remind him that you were here.You’d always be here, and you both knew that. Javi left and came back and then left again, and you stayed planted to the spot he left you in, waiting patiently for him to come back.
Javi finally finished recounting the stories from Columbia around two in the morning. You’d sat there, holding hands across the table for nearly three hours. You knew, in your heart, that it was time to tell Javi. If he accepted you, you’d go from there. If he rejected you, it was time to move on and try to find some semblance of happiness while you still had time.
“Javi, I—”
“I love you, squirt.”
You must have been looking at him like he’d just told you he was growing a third leg, because he burst out laughing. You couldn’t form a coherent thought. All that came out was a broken, “W-What?”
Javi just tilted his head at you. “Well… you can’t be all that surprised, can you? After all this time, you don’t know?”
“Javi… Javi, we’ve been friends for thirty years, but I’ve barely seen you for half of them. You were… You almost got married, Javi! To someone who wasn’t me! And you have the nerve to say I can’t be all that surprised?!” You knew the volume of your voice had risen substantially, but you didn’t care. He had no right to come into your diner and act like, after fifteen years, he had any right to spring this on you.
“Squirt, I…” Javi sighed, getting up and coming around to your side of the table. He sat next to you and picked up your hands, clasping them tightly in his own. “I messed up. I know. I thought you were better off without me, that you were going to go on to do bigger and better things, and you have, but I… I’m going to be selfish, squirt, for one more time. I’m going to be selfish and tell you that I love you, and I need you. With Lorraine… I proposed because she expected it. We didn’t even really get along that well. A month after I proposed…,” his head dropped, ashamed as he spoke his next words, “I said your name in bed.”
If you hadn’t already been frozen to your seat with shock, you’re sure you would’ve fallen over.
“I know it was unfair to her. I wish I’d never asked her to marry me. I should have come back for you, told you how much I loved you and how much I needed you. You’ve been so patient with me, I know you have. You’ve been nothing but amazing, even when I was a shitty friend to you. I wanted you to come to Quantico with me, and when you couldn’t, I thought… I thought that it was the universe telling me that it wouldn’t work. But fuck the universe. I am so sorry that I ever left you, squirt. I love you. And, if you’ll have me, I want to be with you. I want to marry you, if you’ll let me.” He kissed the backs of your hands.
You stayed frozen for a moment. You knew that none of this was easy for Javi. Admitting his true feelings, owning up to his mistakes, apologizing. He was coming to you, with his heart on his sleeve, and begging you not to turn him away. And how could you, if you were honest? You’d stayed in this state, in this town, in this diner, all for him. You told yourself it was just stability and familiarity that kept you there, but deep down you had always known that you were waiting for Javi. Staying put, right where he left you, just in case he ever decided to come back. And here he was, asking you to love him.
“Javi, I love you, too.”
You’d never seen Javier cry. The day he left, he came close. When his arms wrapped around you, you’d felt him shudder, just once. When you pulled back, his eyes stayed averted, and he didn’t look at you again. Except when he left, about to board his flight, and his eyes were just a tad shinier than usual.
Now, Javi allowed full tears to stream down his cheeks, as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him. He spoke no words, he just held you. He never truly thought that he would get to.
You slowly pulled back, reaching up to cup his cheeks and wipe away his tears. “I love you, Javi. And I… I’ll marry you, one day. Let’s see how this goes? I don’t want to spook you by us moving too fast, I can’t lose you.”
Javi shook his head frantically. “No, you’ll never lose me. I’m never leaving you again, I was a fool to have left for all these years.”
You wiped at his cheeks one more time, before leaning up to kiss him. And he kissed you back.
You supposed that, if you finally got to have him, then all of the pain you went through while he was gone was worth it. Your waiting hadn’t been for nothing, you finally had your Javi. He was holding you, right here, right now, in the same place he’d left you. Only, this time, he was here to stay. He was here with you.
#javier peña#javier peña x reader#javi x reader#javier pena x reader#javier x reader#narcos fanfiction#narcos#javier peña x you#javier pena x you#javier pena#my writing
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I Spy
Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales/Fem!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)
Word Count: 1.7K
Warnings: Brief mention of bad(abusive/manipulative) parents, general adult topics, swearing.
Summary: You meet a cute guy at a bar, you date, you fall in love, and oops, it turns out you’ve both been lying about your careers. Classified only stays classified until you get assigned a mission together. (SpecOps&Spies, with Young!Frankie)
A/N: Hey guys, I was bad and started another fic. Whoops. This one is for Triple Frontier because I love that soft boi Francisco. The flavour of this fic, the vibe if you will, is basically the spiderman pointing meme. I’ve vaguely set the timeline to like mid-2000s? so I’ll be trying my best to stay true to technology and aesthetic of the era. There was so much denim. Anyways, that means I’m trying to write for about a 27-33 year old Frankie and a similarly aged reader. I don’t see this series being more than a couple chapters at best, so it’ll be short and sweet. Also, like, very little angst if I can help it; I just want this one to be a good, cute, fun read. Hope y’all enjoy! Xoxo
[AO3][Masterlist]
“So, you’re coming out tonight, right? You’re not busy or anything?”
“Please don’t say it like that, you know how busy work actually is. And I’m a grown woman; if I didn’t want to go to a shady dive bar with you and your very loud friends from the office, I’d say so,” You loved your best friend, and you missed spending time together, but you really couldn’t say the same for her co-workers.
You had nothing against the women she worked with, and you found that they were all perfectly lovely and usually quite fun to be around… it was just that when the alcohol came out, the volume control and verbal filters disappeared.
You wouldn’t say that barhopping was what you’d prefer to be doing tonight, along with more or less babysitting your friend and her friends, but you didn’t know when you’d next be able to squeeze in a night off to just hang out and have fun, so this was happening. You would laugh and smile and keep the drunk secretaries from going home with questionable people, and then you would look back on your ladies’ night with fond memories until you could eventually attend another.
You had known when you picked your career that it would be an around-the-clock, all-day, every-day sort of thing. You never deluded yourself into thinking you would have much of a social life or long-term relationships. Most partners, hell even most friends, would have a problem with you jetting off for weekends, or disappearing for days at a time under mountains of paperwork and appointments.
It just made your best friend that much more important to you. You’d met as kids, went through years of school beside each other, hung out, did stupid teenager things and then stupid young adult things together. You’d cried and laughed and fought and made up a million times, you’d gone to different colleges and still kept in touch, moved away, moved back, and you were still going strong. She was your ride-or-die, your anchor and your parachute and everything in between, so if you could use some of your precious, hoarded, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it time off to see her, that’s just what you’d do.
“You should take some of that fire, and direct it at your boss. Tell him no for a change. I’d love to see his face at that!” She meant well, always trying to look out for you and your health when it came to your beyond demanding job. You weren’t even allowed to tell her a fraction of what you were doing in your professional life, and she knew it, but that didn’t stop her from being ready to throw fists at your employer at a moment’s notice.
“One does not simply tell the über-rich that they don’t need to fly to Paris, again. Being a PA is a full-time nannying gig, except your charge is an adult who can argue when you say no, and you cannot put them on timeout when they’re being a brat. Where he goes, I go, and unless something drastic happens, it will probably continue on like that for a while.” She laughed at your jokes, and your heart hurt a little less at her glee. You knew she would never give up on you or blame you for your work being unpredictable, but that didn’t make the sting of last-minute cancels and missed outings hurt any less, for either of you.
“But it must be nice, just getting on a plane and going somewhere amazing at the drop of a hat. Travelling the world like a superstar, meeting people, having amazing adventures with mysterious strangers…”
“Easy there, Mamma Mia, your wanderlust is showing. And I’d take you with me in a heartbeat if I could. You were born to be a jetsetter, not to be stuck in this town with nothing but the office cubicle beside you to stare at. And I still think you should apply for one of those immersive culture grants you keep mooning over. They’d be fools not to fund your writing expedition!” She was an incredible person, three full degrees to her name in the time it took a normal student to get one, and a brain that could run miles around the rest of the professionals in her field. But she was tethered to this quiet backwater town, and she wasn’t free to fly like she deserved.
“You know I can’t just… go, like you can. My mom, it’d just break her heart… I don’t want to leave her alone, not after Dad,” You honestly doubted that you’d ever meet a woman more horrible and undeserving of her own daughter’s kindness. Helen was a parasite full of lies and manipulations and greed, and she had attached herself like a bad rash to your friend after she’d chased away the rest of her family members.
Your friend searched for the good in everyone, but you wished she’d stop looking for it at that home.
“You deserve your own happiness and freedom, and she should be encouraging you to spread your wings if and when you’re ready.” Politicking your friend was never something you enjoyed. She was the last person you wanted to use your negotiating credentials and sly subterfuge tactics against, but you wanted, needed, her safety and health more. You considered it almost bribery; dangling her dream future in front of her in exchange of being rid of the garbage in her life.
“Hey now, we’re getting way too deep into sad-drunk night conversations, and this is strictly a happy-fun-drunk night. Please leave all baggage and woes at the door, thank you!” You admitted your defeat and surrendered your verbal power point on Why Helen Needs to Disappear. You would get her next time for sure, give her the accelerant to burn down that bridge. “Anyways, the reason I called was to remind you of our haunt for the night. One of the girls, Kelly, you remember Kelly, found this adorable little hole in the wall. A total boys’ club apparently: darts, pool, sports games on the TV, but Kelly’s sister’s friend’s brother Tyler said the place was a favourite of the local army guys. So, if nothing else, we’ll at least have some hunks to look at for a while. It’ll be great!”
You jotted down the directions to the bar as she listed them, and the time you were expected to arrive there.
“Oh! And wear that cute little blue number you bought last spring; I know you still have it so don’t you dare lie. It makes your ass and legs look divine, and I think you could stand to make a new acquaintance tonight.” That Little Blue Number was buried in the back of your closet where you had hoped it would remain forever, but luck was not on your side tonight it seemed. But it did make you look, and feel, fantastic. It was just so… breezy. “And heels! Real ones, not your cute little personal assistant kitten heels. Those black strappy ones would work like a dream!” You just sighed dramatically into the receiver and agreed to her demands.
“I’ll let you go now, and yes, I suppose I can be presentable tonight, dress and all. See-ya later!”
---
Hole in the wall was right. This place was basically underground it was so on the D.L. It was warm inside though, and in the middle of autumn with so much skin on display, you could not be more pleased to get away from the chilled outside air.
You would describe the interior as comfortable with a hint of rustic; lots of warm dark wood and low lights, mixed with the soft Latin music crooning in the background and the few patrons’ conversations adding to the ambience.
All in all, it was probably the nicest dive bar you’d been to in your hometown.
Your party was easy to spot where they had claimed a group of pushed together tables towards the far side of the establishment, and you carefully made your way over to them in your tricky high heels.
You said your hellos to returning faces and introduced yourself to the new additions, and accepted the chair you were pointed to and the drink pressed into your hand.
And so, the hours rolled.
You had enjoyed two fruity cocktails and a flaming shot before you called it quits on the alcohol for the night. You still had a few hours to sober up enough to drive home safely, and you would be able to help the girls get to their rides and ways home too. You appreciated having a social drink or two, but you didn’t care for hangovers and would happily take slightly tipsy over party-hard drunk anytime. Plus, your contract stated you were on-call, always, and you could be required to navigate high-stress negotiations at the drop of a hat. It was just better to cut yourself off, then reap the consequences of your actions later.
You tapped your friend’s shoulder as you walked past and leaned over to talk into her ear. “I’m getting some water for the table; do you want anything else?”
“Mmmm, no I think we’re good for now, thanks!” She was plastered already, but she had a huge grin on her face and was laughing at her co-workers’ stories, so you considered it a win of a night. You gave her a pat goodbye and swayed your way to the bar.
But you just were not accounting for the uneven floorboards, or how much your heels affected your currently less than steady equilibrium, and before you could blink you were teetering over into a nasty fall.
“Whoa there, easy does it, muñequita” Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into a warm chest. “Careful now, don’t go twisting an ankle in those fancy shoes.”
You certainly did not account for the man you turned around to face. Wow.
His hands glided respectfully from where he had caught you around the waist to your still bent and held out elbows, steadying you as you swayed dangerously again.
Warm brown eyes, soft brown curls, and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that it wasn’t left over adrenaline from your near wipeout. He was gorgeous and handling you so gently, and you wanted to spend forever in that moment.
“Hey there, palomita, I’m Frankie, can I buy you a drink?”
[Next Part]
#triple frontier#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales#frankie morales x you#Pedro Pascal#triple frontier fanfiction#pedro pascal x reader
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The Things You Give Part 2 Steven Hyde x Reader
Author’s Note: I hope you really enjoyed Part 1! Here is part 2 and I’ll put a link to access part 1 if it’s your first time being here. Leave a heart and subscribe to my blog if you want more! Thank you and stay safe, folks.
Warnings: None
Part 1 here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/elianamarie-blog
The next morning, Y/N found herself waking up at noon. She cursed at herself because she hated waking up late knowing her day was now gone, but at least it’s Saturday and her day off from work. She dragged herself out of bed and trudged her way down into the kitchen where she was greeted with Red, Kitty, Steven, and Eric eating lunch at the table.
“Well, good morning, sunshine,” Kitty greeted, looking up from her glass of lemonade. “Or should I say ‘afternoon?’”
Y/N yawned as she plopped herself in a chair across from her mother. “I was up late last night.”
“Doing what?” Red questioned like she didn’t have any good excuse.
Y/N eternally cursed herself as her eyes flitted towards Hyde’s wide ones for a split second. She didn’t think this through. “I-I just couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning.”
“Again?” Kitty asked. “This has been happening for the last couple months. You might be suffering from insomnia. At first I thought it was because of your finals and looking for colleges, but this has gone longer than that. You might have insomnia.”
She chuckled to herself, relieved. “Yeah, probably do.” She grabbed a sandwich from the middle of the table and at the bag of chips, dumping it on her plate.
“Eric, what’s your plan for today?” Red asked.
“Well, since I’m on my one year of doing nothing, I’m going to answer with nothing,” he responded with no emotion in his voice.
“Wrong,” Red answered harshly, like he normally does when he spoke to Eric. “You’re going to trim the hedges, sweep the driveway, and fix the dent on the Vista Cruiser.”
“Dad, that’s like eighty bucks!” Eric cried. “I don’t have that kind of money.”
“Then it looks like you’re going to have to get a job!” Red said.
“But that just interferes with my plan!”
“Exactly,” Red responded slowly. “If you’re going to live in my house you will do as I say. Or you can drive around town with that big ass dent.”
Eric thought it over for a split second before pointing at Red. “Can’t Y/N pay for it? She has a job.”
“No!” he said. “She’s not the one who put the dent there.”
“Neither did I!” Eric argued. “Mr. Fitzgerald ran into me.”
“And don’t worry, I already talked to him, but unfortunately our insurance won’t cover it. So it falls on you to replace it.”
“This totally blows, man. I’d rather drive around town with the dent.”
Red rolled his eyes at his son and turned to face him fully. “Why can’t you be like your sister? She got a job straight out high school working at the bridal store, applied for college in Denver, and has her life planned out. While you sit there eating my food, taking up my heat, taking up space, being a no-good bum.”
“Red, honey, that’s enough,” Kitty interjected. “Let’s just enjoy our lunch.”
“Dad, I only stayed because of your heart attack!” He shot back at his ill-tempered father. “You know, to take care of you guys. I could be in Madison right now.”
“And that’s worked out great so far, hasn’t it?” Red spat.
“You’re so ungrateful!” Eric said, clearly hurt. “Why can’t you just say ‘thank you’ for once?”
“I would if you just do something around the house,” he responded, his voice raising. “Pick up on household chores, work and bring a paycheck home, help your mother out, take me to doctors appointments. Anything other than sitting around all day playing you’re your toys.”
“Red, you’re going to give yourself another heart attack,” Kitty informed him. “You need to calm down.”
Red put his hands up. “Fine, fine. But I want those chores done today, Eric. And if you half-ass it, I’m going to make you do it all over again, plus cleaning out the gutters and fixing the leak under the bathroom sink.”
Eric grunted. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
Red nodded, pleased he won the argument and turned back to his meal. It was silent for a moment, the air thick with tension. Hyde and Y/N just sat there, eating quietly and stiffened. Well, not so much Hyde because it was always amusing seeing Red yell at Eric, but for Y/N it was different. Even though she was used to the constant fighting, their argument had never been this intense.
“So,” Kitty said, clearing her throat, trying to ease the conversation. “Steven, how’s work going?”
“Oh, you know, working at the kitchen is great,” he said, taking a chip to his mouth. “Ever since Kelso and Eric left, things have been pretty quiet. We hired a new server so it makes things a little easier.”
Kitty beamed proudly at him. “I’m glad to hear it. What about you, dear?” she asked turned to Y/N .
“It’s good,” she responded. “Helping brides pick out their dresses. It’s nice and easy.”
“Well, good,” Kitty replied and patted her hand. “I’m so proud of you. Although, you’re going to have to leave me to go to Denver.” Her smile turned into a sad one and her voice cracked.
“Mom, I haven’t even been accepted yet,” Y/N responded, trying to comfort her mother. “Who knows, I might end up going to the college in Kenosha or staying to go to the community college here.”
Hyde sat up a little straighter, hope filling him.
“Have you applied to them?” Red asked.
“Well, I applied to Denver first and then if I didn’t get in, I was going to apply to Kenosha. If that didn’t work out, then the community college here since I can just go sign up.”
Red beamed at her proudly. “That’s my girl.”
Y/N smiled up at him. He can be a hard ass, but seeing him smile proudly at her and being the softy he was with her, made it all worth it. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“What are you going to study?” Kitty asked and suddenly all eyes were on Y/N . Kitty was hoping she’d follow in her footsteps and become a nurse, but Y/N wasn’t too sure if she even wanted that.
“Um,” she stumbled, gulping. “I’m not sure. I was thinking either engineering or automotive.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t want to do that,” Kitty said, handing her another sandwich.
“Why not?” Red asked before Y/N could. “She’s knowledgeable about that kind of stuff. Hell, I’ve taught her all about cars and the mechanics. Unlike dumbass over here.”
“Hey!” Eric called out. “We both know that I am not strong enough to hold up a tire.”
“Yeah,” Red said, dragging it out and glared at him. “I know.”
“Mom, why shouldn’t I study those?” Y/N asked.
“Well, you don’t want to work in a man’s place,” she responded. “It’s dirty and hot, and it’s super hard to do. Besides, you’ll just distract the boys from doing their jobs.”
While Hyde’s mind went to dirty places after hearing the words dirty, hot, and hard, he noticed Y/N getting visible angry.
“Really?” she hissed. “You think I can’t handle it because I’m a woman? Or smart enough? If I can do the job, why does it matter? I am not and will not be responsible for the other guys not getting their job done because they’re too stupid to do their job.”
“C’mon, Y/N , you deserve better,” she said. “You don’t have to work there. Why don’t you work at the hair salon? Or better yet, sell Tupperware?”
“No, mom!” Y/N said. “I want to do something meaningful with my life. I don’t want to fit into societal norms. I deserve a well paying job just as much men do.”
“Kitty, let her decide what she wants,” Red spoke up. “We’re not going to be living her life. You didn’t say anything to Laurie when she went to beauty school.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like she has many options anyway,” she responded.
“But I do and you’re trying to limit me?”
“Oh, honey, don’t take it so personally,” Kitty said, trying to deflate the conversation. “You’re the smart one out of all of us and I just want you to have a better life.”
“I’m sitting right here,” Eric whined.
“Yeah, but you don’t what you want to do yet. Figure it out and then come talk to us,” Kitty said and turned back to Y/N . “We just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Kitty, you can’t limit her just because you don’t want to her get hurt. That’s not fair.”
Kitty sighed. “Fine, do whatever you want.”
Y/N rolled her eyes and stood. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going to go check the mail.” She slammed her plate in the sink and stomped out the swinging door.
“Way to go, Kitty,” Red said and stood up tp put his plate in the sink. “You had to anger her by telling her that.”
“What, this is my fault now?” Kitty defended.
Red looked at her emotionless. “Yes.”
“Well, excuse me for wanting a better future for my baby girl!” She cried. “I’m relieved that we don’t have another Laurie and all I wanted for her was to be safe! But. I’m just terrible mother who can’t control her kids. Is a peace of mind for a mother really too much to ask?!” She screamed and finished her huge scene by grabbing her emergency bottle of wine and stomped upstairs to her bedroom.
“Aw, crap,” Red groaned. “Even when she’s wrong, she’s right.”
“Women, man,” Hyde said and put his plate in the sink as well. “From what I learned about women, they’re always right and we’re always wrong.”
“Well, I’m glad my Donna isn’t like that,” Eric spoke up, also bringing his plate to the sink. “She will apologize to me if she did wrong. She’s smart like that.”
“Yeah, but she has you whipped like 99% of the time,” Hyde shot back.
“Not true!” Eric defended.
“Man, you so are!” Hyde said, laughing. “What happened last week? You wanted to go watch Star Wars for the billionth time and she wanted to see a chick flick. And what did you end up seeing? The chick flick.”
“Well, if I hadn’t she wouldn’t have let—” he stopped dead short when he saw Red staring at him. “She wouldn’t have let me kissed her goodnight on the cheek. Like the innocent and responsible adults we are.”
Red rolled his eyes. “Can it. I’m going to check on your mother and if I don’t see you doing what I asked in five minutes, I’m going to put my foot so far up your ass, I’ll be able to control you like a puppet.” With that, he pushed the swinging door open and exited out to check on Kitty.
“Forman, you should write a book ‘Things Red Threatened To Put In My ass.’ Chapter one: His foot.”
Eric could only roll his eyes and exit the kitchen to start on those dreadful chores.
Hyde decided to go check on Y/N once Eric was out of sight. He took the steps two at time until he came across Y/N’s room. He knocked on the door and gently opened the door.
“ Y/N?”
She was sitting at her desk, looking over the college pamphlets. “Hey,” she replied miserably.
He shut the door and sat on her bed. “You okay, man? That was intense what happened down there.”
“Yeah” she replied curtly, but not towards him. “It’s so typical of my mother to try to control everything I do. I’m not Laurie so she feels like I’m not good enough to make own decisions.”
“She just doesn’t want you to be like her,” Hyde defended. “You’re the only child that your parents don’t worry because you have your head screwed on straight.”
She looked at him with a defeated look. “I know, but there’s other ways about it,” she responded and sat down next to him.
“Your mom doesn’t want you to leave,” he continued.
“Well, I need to,” she said without thinking about it. She noticed hurt flash across his face. “I mean, it’s not like I want to, really. I want to explore the world and see what it has to offer me, but staying here is not going to give me that.”
“I know,” he sighs. “It just sucks hearing you talk about it.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” she said and grabbed his hand. Right there, she wanted to invite him to come along with her, but she was afraid. Afraid that he would run away. Then what if she doesn’t get accepted? Then she’s going to have to deal with seeing him everyday and make it harder for her to move on., but little did she know he was secretly hoping for the same thing. Just like her, he was terrified to ask her. He didn’t want to show too much vulnerability. After seeing what his mom went through, he doesn’t want to get into a relationship and then move away only for them to break up. And then what? He’d be stuck there, or worse, she’d see him for who he truly is and run away. It was easier for him to keep everything hidden than to spill it.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” she said. “I’m going to do whatever I want regardless what my mom says.”
“Did you check the mail?” he asks, changing the subject.
“Yeah, nothing yet.”
He stared down at their entwined hands. “I don’t know why this is so hard for us to talk about,” she said. “It’s not like we’re in a committed relationship. “
His heart dropped at hearing that, but why? They were both on the same page. It’s not like it meant nothing, but it meant something. It may have even started off that way, but it definitely wasn’t like that now. They wanted to make it official but the sneaking around and hiding it from everyone kind of prevented it from happening. Even if they did, it would be saying goodbye so much harder.
He knew he was in for it when they started. He had never felt this way about anyone before. And that scared him. He was afraid to lose her which sucked because he never felt that fear with anyone, but she was different. She made him feel at home, at peace. She made him a better man. He was actually happy. Before, he had trouble running in with the law and relatively being a jerk to everyone. Hyde was a good friend, but showed it differently than the average man. When it came to women, he hardly ever got attached. Women would leave anyway once they found out the true him. Or at least, the side that he wanted them to see. She saw his heart, through the wall he built up, and tore it down. With her, he wanted her to tear it down because for once in life, he was able to trust someone that wasn’t within his normal group, but even then this was way different with him. He finally felt safe and didn’t have to be ready to run if he had to.
She knew that if she stayed here, she would have Steven, but her future would be bleak. She knew if she left the state, she would be able to accomplish so much more. But the thought of leaving him was almost unbearable to her, which confused her. She knew what she was getting into when they started seeing each other. She knew it would be just a fling, but the more they did it, the more they connected; spiritually and physically. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. She wasn’t supposed to develop feelings for him, but she did. Even though they clearly like each other, she didn’t want to suggest anything more in fear of rejection. What if he didn’t feel the same way? It’d be easier to leave, but she doesn’t want to forget him and go without him. If more than anything, she wanted him to join her. The only way she would find out is by asking.
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “It’d be stupid of us to do that since you might be leaving.”
“Well, um,” she began, suddenly feeling so nervous that she started shaking. He felt it and held her hand tighter.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, ‘m fine,” she responded and looked into his shades, even though she was trying to look into his eyes. “Maybe, we…we don’t have to split up.”
His eyebrows came together which made her more nervous for his answer. “What d’you mean?”
She took a deep breath. “Maybe…you can come with me.”
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FIC: This Seat Taken? (Seo Changbin/Female Reader)
Literally the only reason I got this done was because I broke my toe and have an abundance of sitting-around time. So... yay, I suppose.
Onward.
Title: This Seat Taken?
Pairing: Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)/Female Reader
Summary: The reader finds herself falling in love with her best friend Changbin.
Warnings: A few potty words but other than that, not much really.
Author’s Note(s): This takes place in a world where A. There have only ever been eight members of Stray Kids (we do not talk about the AT&T of people) and B. Minho’s cats live in the dorms with them.
Which brings up two questions: Why don’t Minho’s cats live in the dorms? And have they fixed that stupid curtain yet??
As per tradition I tag @jisungiesbunnie I keep bringing this up in the Discord lol
The very last thing you wanted was to be part of a cliche.
They were everywhere. The “enemies to lovers.” The old standby “oh my God, they were roommates.” The good old fashioned “best friends to lovers.”
You wanted absolutely no part of it.
So why were you in danger of falling prey to “best friends to lovers”?
And moreover, why were you falling hopelessly in love with Seo Changbin?
**
You met Seo Changbin at a very vulnerable time in your life.
You were sixteen years old, and it was your first day at your new high school. You knew absolutely nobody. And since you were the new kid in school, there wasn’t a soul that wanted anything to do with you. Nobody wanted to sit near you in class. Even the teachers didn’t call on you, which was super unfortunate since you totally knew the answer in your math class. That wouldn’t have stung so much if the kid she called on had gotten it right.
So, at lunch, you found a table in the far corner, nobody around for what seemed like miles. This is as good a spot as any, you thought as you settled in.
You were partway through your cheese sandwich when you suddenly heard a deep voice say, “This seat taken?”
You looked up to find… a boy. He was short - not much taller than you were - but he had a lean yet muscular build and kind eyes.
“I don’t suppose so,” you muttered quietly.
The boy sat across the table from you. “I don’t recognize you,” he said. “Are you new?”
You nodded.
“Ah! Okay. Well, my name is Changbin, Seo Changbin?”
“(y/n),” you replied. “You’re the first person all day that’s actually said more than five words to me. And those five words have usually been get out of my way.”
Changbin scoffed. “That’s terrible. Look, some of these people can be real jerks, I-”
“Hey, Changbin! What’re you doing talking to that loser?”
The voice belonged to a boy who was in your social studies class, one who’d shoved you out of the way in the hallway to get to the lunchroom first.
“She’s not a loser, she’s just new. And she seems really nice. So if you can’t be nice to her, just go sit down.”
The boy rolled his eyes as he walked away.
“Thank you,” you said shyly.
“No problem.” Changbin flashed you a lopsided grin; you couldn’t help giggling in response.
“I have a really hard time making friends,” you admitted. “And my family moves around for my dad’s job, that doesn’t help.”
“Well, I am honored to be your friend. I mean, if you’ll let me.”
You smiled warmly at him. “Of course.”
**
The two of you were thick as thieves after that. It wasn’t long before you were over at each others’ houses all the time - it got to the point where your mom was picking up Changbin’s favorites at the store - and texting each other constantly. You didn’t let a day go by without at least texting each other once.
Even when you graduated from high school and went your separate ways - you went off to college, studying communications and mass marketing; he auditioned for a new K-Pop group that was forming - you made sure to talk every day.
You were there for each other when times were good - when you got accepted to your dream school, when Changbin was selected for Stray Kids. And when times were bad - Changbin was really down when Minho was eliminated, you’d had to have knee surgery right after you graduated college, and let’s not forget every failed girlfriend he’d had and every failed boyfriend you’d racked up.
He helped you find your job, too. You were six months out of college and still hadn’t found a job yet.
“I’m starting to think I majored in the wrong thing,” you lamented to Changbin over coffee one afternoon. “I loved my studies, but I just can’t seem to land even an interview. I thought communications was a growing industry, but…”
“I’m so sorry,” Changbin replied. “Let me see what I can do.”
“What you can do?” you echoed. “What can you do?”
“Give me a week,” he assured you. Shrugging, you turned back to your coffee.
“My mom wants me to join a temp agency,” you said. “If you can’t find something for me by this time next week, I’m going to.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Two days later, you’d gotten a call from an administrative assistant at JYPE. Your resume came across their desk, see, and looking over your credentials they thought you’d be perfect for a job that just opened up. Well, have you ever heard of the new group, Stray Kids? You’d be their assistant, pretty much. JYPE would book appearances and organize tours; you would be responsible for booking flights and hotels and meal reservations and whatnot. You would also live in the dorm with them - you’d get your own room, of course, far away from the rest of the guys (they’re all nice but Chan snores, a lot of them are talkers and Minho curses in his sleep). You might be asked to do a little light housekeeping, maybe cook on occas-
“I’ll take it!” you exclaimed.
The assistant laughed. “You don’t even know how much we’re paying you.”
“Don’t care,” you replied. “I’ve been jobless for half a year, and I have student loans. I’ll take it.”
Later that afternoon, you were enjoying a cup of coffee at your favorite shop, looking over the email from JYPE detailing your contract.
“This seat taken?”
“Seo Changbin! You did it, you son of a bitch.”
“Did what?” Changbin sat across from you and took a sip of his coffee, thoroughly confused.
You chuckled. “JYPE called me today. I’m going to be Stray Kids’ official assistant. I’ll be booking flights and hotels for appearances and the tour, I’ll be living with you guys and-”
“What!” Changbin rose from his seat and ran around to your side of the table, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “That’s amazing! I thought they’d just get you a job in the office or answering fanmail or something, I wasn’t expecting that!” He pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. “Okay, um. Fair bit of warning about the guys’ sleeping habits, uh-”
“They told me about a couple. Uh… Chan snores and Minho swears in his sleep.”
“Hyunjin and Jisung talk in their sleep,” Changbin added. “Felix always has to be hugging someone or something. Seungmin always, just, screams right as he falls asleep. Jeongin’s a sleepwalker, that’s super fun. We had to put like four locks on the door, we lock every other one because he just goes down the line and thinks he’s unlocking all of them. And-”
“You talk in your sleep too,” you finished. “Most of the time you’re looking for something or you’re lost, but I have definitely heard you do it.”
Changbin looked slightly wounded. “I was going to say I don’t think I do anything, but… okay, I guess.”
You laughed. “Hey, um, thanks. For helping me out. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” He squeezed your shoulder again before sliding out of the booth.
**
Some people who fall hopelessly in love with their best friend will tell you they can’t pinpoint the exact reason why they fell in love.
You can, though.
It was a year after you first moved into the dorm… and it was all Lee Minho’s fault.
You were going through the bedrooms, gathering up laundry.
“Just once,” you muttered to yourself, “if these morons could get their underpants in the vicinity of the hamper, I’d be happy.”
“They’re not mine.”
You jumped, nearly bonking the top of your head on the top bunk of one of the beds. “Damn it, Minho, you scared the crap out of me.”
Minho chuckled quietly. “Sorry. How’s it going?”
“Peachy. I’m so glad I went to college so I could clean up after a bunch of overgrown children.”
“Oh, come on. We’re not that bad, are we?”
You laughed. “No. I’m just… I guess I’m grouchy today, that’s all. Didn’t sleep well last night. I actually really do like this job, I’m grateful that Changbin helped me get it.”
Minho nodded slightly. “He's going out again tonight?”
“Yep. This girl he met at the grocery store, Ha-Rin? That might be right, I’m not sure. I can’t keep track anymore.”
“Wow,” Minho said. “He’s been really unlucky in the girls department lately, hasn’t he?”
“He really has, I don’t get it.”
“Do you think… do you think they’re jealous of you?”
You shrugged. “It’s possible. I’m a girl who lives with him and has been friends with him for years. Plus I am a snack.” You made a passing motion over your body. “Who wouldn’t be jealous of this?”
Minho laughed loudly. “I might be out of line here, and feel free to punch me for it, but… but do you ever get jealous of them?”
You wrinkled your nose in confusion. “What?”
“I mean, you guys have been friends since you were sixteen. You’ve never wondered what it was like to date him?”
You scoffed. “No! Absolutely not. He’s my best friend, that would be so weird. Like dating my brother or something, gross.”
Minho laughed again, raising his hands in a sort-of defensive gesture. “Okay! Sorry I brought it up.”
But that night, you had a weird dream. You were at your senior prom (in real life, you and Changbin had skipped it to have a Marvel movie marathon). You were wearing a beautiful royal blue dress, with sequins - not too many, just enough to make it classy.
You were slow dancing with… someone. You couldn’t tell who. It was dark, and your arms were wrapped around their neck, your head nestled on their shoulder; their arms were wrapped firmly around your waist.
“Close your eyes,” a soft, yet vaguely familiar voice whispered.
You did; the person holding you unwrapped one arm from your waist, tipped your chin up, and gently pressed their lips to yours. You quickly melted into the kiss, pressing yourself closer to them as the kiss deepened slightly.
The other person pulled away slowly; you opened your eyes…
...and found yourself staring at none other than Changbin.
You sat up with a start, and you were a side sleeper, so you nearly fell out of bed.
“God damn you, Minho,” you muttered as you pulled the blanket over your head. “I can’t tell him. I can never tell him. I don’t want to lose his friendship.”
So you made two solemn vows: You vowed to punch Lee Minho in the face the next time you saw him, and you vowed never to tell Changbin how you felt about him.
You settled for giving Minho a dirty look over breakfast the next morning. As for the other thing, well...
**
Every time Changbin had a new girlfriend, your heart dropped ever-so-slightly in your chest. And always twice: Once, when he’d first start dating her; and once, when she broke up with him.
It was practically identical every single time: He would meet a girl. He would rush into the living room, a big smile plastered on his face, and exclaim: “I met the most amazing girl!” He would list off her qualities - pretty, smart, funny, ordered the same obscure thing from the Thai place that he liked, etc. They’d start dating. He’d come home after their third date and proclaim: “I think she might be The One, y’know? She’s - oh, wipe that look off your face, Lee Minho; I mean it this time.” Things would go really well for a brief amount of time. The longest was five months; the shortest, two weeks.
And when it inevitably went south, that was practically identical every single time as well. He’d trudge through the door, kick off his shoes, slump down on the couch, and say: “Okay, Minho, you can say I told you so now.”
Minho would always refrain, to his credit, except for when Changbin and Ha-Rin (the grocery store girl) broke up; he did not like Ha-Rin. That was a really long story. But let’s just say if cats think you’re evil, so will Minho; and his cats absolutely hated Ha-Rin. (Especially Dori, and Dori loves everybody.)
Anyway, after giving Minho the chance to gloat (which, as previously mentioned, he only did once), Changbin would give you a Look™ and you would follow him into your room. The other guys knew not to bother you in there, so it was a safe place. He’d slump down onto the bed and smile sadly at you while patting the space next to him.
“This seat taken?” you’d ask, mimicking one of his favorite lines. He would shake his head ever-so-slightly. And you’d sit, and open your arms, and he’d fall into them, sobbing all the while.
Sometimes, he would tell you why they broke up with him. They were all terrible reasons, too: Just wanted to see what it was like to date an Idol. Wanted to make their ex jealous. Needed a date to this work/school/family thing. Just trying to get closer to Chan (twice), Hyunjin (four times), Jeongin (three times), Minho’s cats (once; that girl was weird). In at least one case, it was because of you. (That was why he and Ha-Rin broke up; he never told you that was why, but she did. Seems she made him choose between her or being friends with you and he picked you. Of course, you’d never tell him you knew.)
And every single time, your heart shattered right along with his, because you knew that you would never do this to him. So why didn’t he know that?
**
Those feelings only solidified the night you got dumped.
You had been dating Daeshim for roughly eight months or so. You’d met at the grocery store, and were immediately drawn to him. In hindsight, you admittedly pulled a Changbin: You fell for him, hard and fast. The two of you were practically inseparable. You’d kissed on the third date, he said “I love you” after a month, you were already making plans for you future house (try to find something within a few miles of the dorms), your wedding (he didn’t bat an eye when you said that instead of bridesmaids, you wanted your eight roommates to stand up with you), even your kids’ names (Nabi for a girl, Yu-jun for a boy). He not only wasn’t jealous of the fact that you lived with eight men, he embraced it. “They were here before I was,” he’d said, “so why would that bother me?”
Daeshim was your person.
Until… he wasn’t.
The guys were all at the studio, practicing choreography for their upcoming music video, so you were home alone. Perfect environment for wallowing.
You were on the couch, curled up in a giant blanket, sobbing so hard that at one point you were afraid you’d cry your brain right out of your nose. You were a hot mess - your hair was disheveled, your eyes and nose were red and puffy, your face was wet with tears and sweat and God knows what else. You did not look cute.
And, naturally, that was the moment Changbin came home.
“Oh, no, hey,” he said softly. “Did something happen with you and Daeshim?”
You nodded hastily.
“Want me to make the other guys go away for a bit?”
You shook your head. “They’re okay.”
“Well… do you want to go to your room? We can talk there.”
You sniffled as you reached for the box of tissues. “Okay.”
Changbin helped you off the couch and gingerly led you to your room as the other guys came spilling into the living room. Felix started to ask what was going on, but Changbin just shook his head and silently mouthed I’ll tell you later.
Changbin carefully helped you onto the bed. Reversing the roles slightly, you smiled sadly at him and patted the seat next to you.
Changbin couldn’t help but smile a small smile as he said, “This seat taken?” You shook your head; he settled down next to you. “Okay, what’s going on?”
You opened your mouth to tell him what had happened, but a loud sob came out instead.
“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Changbin soothed as he wrapped his arms around you. “Take your time, tell me when you’re ready.”
You wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your head in his chest as a fresh wave of tears came. Changbin said nothing, just held you as you cried, occasionally rubbing soothing circles over your back.
Finally, you sat up and took a deep breath. “He cheated on me.”
Changbin raised an eyebrow. “He did what now?”
“I caught him,” you explained. “I went to the coffee shop down the street to get a drink and one of those croissants with the chocolate in the middle, you know? And I did a little work while I was there, too, figured it’d be nice to get out for a bit. Anyway, I walked out to come home and… and I saw them.”
“Oh, no.”
Just when you thought you had no tears left, an altogether new supply started welling up in your eyes. “He met someone at work,” you said. “They were put on a project together, they got to talking, one thing led to another. He says he loves me but he loved them too and he couldn’t choose. So… you know… I chose for him.”
“And this person still wants to date him?”
“Went back to the cafe to get my laptop charger, saw them kissing when I came back out.”
“Ugh. Wow, (y/n), I’m so sorry.”
You snorted as you tightened your grip around his waist, resting your head on his chest again. “Usually this is the other way around, I’m the one consoling you after a breakup. Must be nice for you to have the situation reversed for a switch.”
“Actually, it kills me to see you like this. You don’t deserve that, I mean nobody does, but especially you. You are amazing, you know that? You’re sweet, you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, you’re completely hilarious. You’ve done two things that I thought were impossible, you can out-drink Jisung and you can out-weird Seungmin. And, do you even know how pretty you are? Daeshim fucked up, and royally at that. Any guy would be so lucky to have you.”
You couldn’t help but smile through your tears at his words. But, you knew they were just that: words. He didn’t really feel that way about you. He was just trying to make you feel better.
Or was he?
Nonetheless, he only liked you as a friend, as far as you knew, and he was just helping lift your spirits.
He was successful at that, but he was even more successful at making you fall even deeper in love with him. The feelings you thought you’d gotten rid of when you and Daeshim started dating not only resurfaced, but intensified.
You sighed deeply, finally allowing yourself to relax in Changbin’s arms. His grip was firm but not too tight, just enough to make you feel safe and protected. He didn’t say anything else, he just allowed you to relax; occasionally he’d give you a gentle squeeze. Before too long, you were dozing.
It was only slightly weird that it was one of the best nights of sleep you’d ever had.
You woke up late the next morning, alone, but there was a glass of juice and two muffins on the bedside table. Had to go to practice, the handwritten note under the glass read. Sorry I couldn’t be here to have breakfast with you, so I figured I’d at least feed you. They’re blueberry muffins, Felix baked them fresh this morning. Take the day off if you need to, I’ll explain everything if JYP asks. Please call if you need anything.
Love, Binnie
You smiled softly to yourself as you bit into one of the muffins. Changbin was so sweet, and wanted to make sure you were taken care of. Just like a good friend should.
You scoffed slightly. Friend. That was all he’d ever be. Better get used to it...
**
Not long after you and Daeshim broke up, Changbin started dating this girl he’d met… somewhere. You didn’t know. Or, honestly, care. But her name was Min Jee, and she was way different from the other girls he's dated. She was pretty for sure, but she was funny and sweet and everything Changbin had been looking for. (And Minho’s cats? Adored her.)
Plus, she didn’t seem to be threatened by you in the slightest, so that was a definite plus.
You tried so hard to be happy for them. You even went out for coffee with Min Jee a few times, just the two of you, while the guys were practicing. That whole funny and sweet thing was no act - she really was that nice and that hilarious. She was touched that you wanted to be your friend, and you could have been her best friend, except for the fact that you guys had one thing in common: You were both madly in love with her boyfriend.
Two months into their relationship, the dynamic changed.
“You’re home early,” you said as Changbin gently closed the door behind him. “I didn’t expect you back until later, how’s Min Jee?”
“We broke up.” Changbin hung his keys by the door and started into the kitchen.
You sighed. “Oh, Binnie, again? I am so sorry this keeps happening to you.”
Changbin shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, you know?”
For some reason - to this day, you have no idea why - but for some reason, this was the moment you finally snapped.
“You know, you go out with a lot of girls,” you started. “You always fall for them really quickly, and really hard. And you always end up single again after a few weeks. And it - you know what, Changbin? It breaks my heart, it really does. I thought Min Jee was different, but looks like I was wrong, you know? It absolutely breaks my heart to see this happen to you over and over and over again, because you deserve so much better than that. You deserve someone that truly loves you for who you are, not just because you’re an idol. You deserve someone who cares about you, who’s there for you when things are rough, who just… who loves you with every fiber of her being. I can almost guarantee that there’s not a single girl out there who can be even a fraction of those things, who can even come close to loving you as much as I do.”
Changbin’s eyes grew wide as your rant came to a close. He just stared at you for a moment, jaw slack, not saying a word…
...and that was the moment when your brain realized what your mouth had done.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You know that thing you were never ever ever EVER going to tell him? That thing you were going to take to the grave with you?
Yeah, you just realized your greatest fear: You opened your mouth, and out it went.
Look, brain, you said to yourself. You can beat me up in a minute, okay? For now, though…
“I have to get out of here,” you said. You turned around and ran out the door, not even bothering to pull it closed behind you. You ran out the front door of the dorms, down the street, to the park just at the end of the block. You didn’t stop running until you reached the small pond near the back of the park - not too many people knew about this pond. It was small and clean and had a bench off to one side of it, facing the water.
Changbin found it one day, not long after he’d moved into the dorms. It was the perfect place to go to catch a breath of fresh air. He brought you here not long after you’d moved in; the two of you came here often to talk about things you didn’t want the other guys to overhear.
You slumped down on the bench, buried your head in your hands, and started sobbing.
Do your worst, brain, you said. I deserve it.
Of course you do, moron. How could you say that? How could you tell him you love him? There is no possible way he loves you back, you know that, right? You’re probably responsible for him being dumped so many times anyway, they’re all jealous of you. Even Min Jee, she didn’t REALLY like you. She was pretending, for his sake. He just hasn’t figured that out yet. You know what you just did, right? You ruined any chance of a romantic relationship with him, and not only that you’ve completely ruined your friendship. You are such a…
“This seat taken?”
You didn’t answer, instead you kept sobbing quietly into your hands. You thought that maybe if you ignored him, didn’t acknowledge his presence, he’d just… go away.
Weight settling onto the other end of the short bench told you that he did not just go away.
You heard Changbin heave a deep sigh before he started speaking. “Min Jee didn’t break up with me. I broke up with her. Uh, it was the most insane thing that set it off, too. Um, she was telling me all about her day. She always tells me all about her day. And she was telling me about her day, like she always does, and I caught myself thinking: Wow, I really do not care about this even a little bit.” Changbin chuckled quietly to himself before continuing. “I didn’t want to hear about her day. You know whose day I really wanted to hear about? Yours. Min Jee and I were together for two months and I was already tired of hearing about her day. I’ve talked to you every day since we were 16, and I never get tired of hearing about yours. Not even after you started living with us, and I got to see you every day. And I got to thinking: I have dated a lot of girls. But I think about them, even the ones I thought I loved, and I realize something: not one of them would have my back when things would be bad. When my anxiety is too high, none of them would have helped. When I felt like I had a bad performance, they’d just shrug and talk about themselves. Sure, they were pretty, and funny, and smart. But none of them cared about me the same way you do. Not even Min Jee.”
You raised your head, gently wiping your nose. “What are you trying to say, Changbin?”
Changbin gently grasped one of your hands in both of his. “I’m trying to say… I’m definitely saying that I love you too.”
Another tear slipped out of your eye as you stared at him. You tried to wrap your head around the ridiculousness of this situation:
Seo Changbin, the boy you loved and was sure did not love you back, just told you he loved you back.
Take THAT, brain.
“Um… really?” was all you could manage.
Changbin smiled softly at you; your heart fluttered in your chest. “Really. And you… you really love me?”
“Yes.” You were taken aback a bit by how quickly and effortlessly you answered the question.
Changbin’s grip on your hand tightened ever-so-slightly. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, almost shyly.
“I’d really like that.”
He let go of your hand and cupped your cheeks in his hands, carefully wiping your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He leaned in, licking his lips slightly before pressing them to yours.
You had dreamed of kissing him before. But even your dreams couldn’t have prepared you for the real thing, how wonderful and warm and sweet it was.
His lips were smooth and dry against yours; they parted slightly as one of his hands moved down to your waist. His other hand stayed cupped against your cheek, thumb lightly brushing your cheekbone. As the kiss deepened, you could feel him pour every emotion he’d been repressing - love, mostly, but also a sense of tenderness and longing - into it.
Changbin broke the kiss, pulling back from you; he was smiling softly and looking at you as if you were the only other person on Earth.
Not even Daeshim had looked at you like that.
“Uh… wow,” you breathed.
“Yeah,” he replied, “wow.”
You smiled back at him, resting a hand on his knee, and you leaned in to kiss him again when a sudden stiff breeze rustled through the surrounding trees. You shivered involuntarily.
“Cold?” he asked.
You nodded. “Can we go home?”
“Sure.” He stood first, gently pulling you to a standing position. You walked back to the dorms, hand-in-hand; before you left the park, he asked: “So, how was your day?”
You grinned as you told him all about your day. And he was smiling the entire time.
**
When the two of you got back to the dorms, it sure looked like you were alone. Changbin settled down on the couch; smiling up at you, he patted his lap.
“This seat taken?” you asked, a goofy grin plastered on his face. Changbin just raised an eyebrow as he grabbed you around the waist, pulling you into his lap. He lightly tickled your sides as you laughed, trying to settle into his lap but squirming instead.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be nice,” he said, gently kissing your cheek. “I’m so glad I finally get to hold you this way.”
“Me too.”
“You really weren’t going to say anything?”
“Were you?”
“Fair point, I guess… didn’t want to mess up the friendship either, huh?”
“You are correct, sir.”
A short pause, then: “Only one of them broke up with me because of you, you know.”
“Ha-Rin, yeah. She told me. That was totally unfair of her to make you choose.”
“She told you? She swore me to secrecy and then she told you?”
“Wanted to make me feel guilty, I suppose.” You shrugged. “Didn’t work, I hated her guts. I was never happy to see you get dumped, except when Ha-Rin dumped you.”
“Yeah, that was the only time Minho said I told you so, too.” Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “You know what, though? None of that matters anymore, now that I’ve got you.”
You hummed happily, leaning back slightly in his arms. “You’re right. But I am dying to know what that one girl was thinking.”
“Which one?”
“Dating you to get closer to the cats?”
Changbin laughed. “Some things, you just never find out.” He nuzzled the side of your neck. “I love you, you know.”
“I love you too, Binnie.” You turned your head, letting his lips connect with yours. Just as the kiss was starting to deepen, you heard the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat.
You turned your head away… and there were Changbin’s seven band members, all arms crossed, staring down at you.
Changbin grinned sheepishly at them as you waved and said, “Hey, fellas.” Chan started to open his mouth, but you cut him off. “Since I know you guys, and I’m reasonably sure you guys had money riding on this situation, I’ll just settle the main bet and the prop bets. I told him first, extremely by accident but it was me. He broke up with Min Jee because he felt the same way, but that happened before I told him, not because of it. He kissed me first, and… that should settle it, right?”
“Pay up, suckers.” Jeongin held out a hand as the other guys groaned and reached for their wallets.
“How did you know he was going to break it off with Min Jee but (y/n) would be the one to say it first?!” Jisung grumbled.
“I didn’t, I just guessed.” Jeongin shrugged. “Your money, sir?”
“Go buy yourself something nice,” Jisung said. “Anyway, now that that’s out of the way…I’m really happy for you guys, I really am. Even if you did cost me 20,000 won.”
The rest of the guys nodded in agreement, a few offering their congratulations.
“Look, we’ll leave you two kids alone, if that’s what you want?” Chan said, almost awkwardly.
“Nah, you guys have the living room.” You climbed out of Changbin’s lap, offering him your hand; he took it and you helped him stand. “We’ll just go make out in my room.”
Changbin laughed as you led him down the hallway. “Awfully presumptuous, aren’t we?”
“Look, I know what I want.” You pulled your door shut behind you. “And right now, I want to kiss you.”
Changbin smiled as you sat down on your bed. “This seat taken?”
“Just get down here.” You pulled the front of his shirt; he fell onto the bed, hovering over you.
“God, you’re amazing.” He leaned down, closing the gap between your mouths.
You cannot believe you were just never going to tell him how you felt. But now, as his hand slid up to your stomach, you are more than happy you did.
Was that a cliche? Of course it was. But a cliche was making you blissfully happy, so you didn’t seem to mind it so much.
#stray kids#stray kids fanfiction#seo changbin#seo changbin fanfiction#changbin fanfic#changbin#i think i can squeeze eight more tags in here
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Watch me vomit up my thoughts
It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sorry I’ve disappeared on everyone. It’s been... a year. I think that probably goes for everyone, not just me. If you’re interested in a personal life update, then read on. If you’re looking for an update on my writing then I regret to inform you that I haven’t written a single thing this year. Maybe next year, though. There is always next year, right? I think I saw a blurb that we’re getting Sam and Bucky back in March. And Loki shortly after. Maybe that will be my inspiration.
I’m fortunate enough to have a job that lets me comfortably work from home. I’m also fortunate enough to own a home. And my last blessing is that I don’t have kids, so I didn’t have to figure out the nightmare of childcare and home schooling like some of you. My library on the second floor of the house has been my office since mid-March. I’ve been transitioning into the Associate Financial Advisor roll this year and that has been going well. I’m supporting the clients I’ve worked with as an assistant for the past nine years, so it’s been easy-going. I’m able to order my groceries for pick up to avoid going in the stores and I live in an neighborhood where it is easy to get delivery from restaurants. I’m incredibly lucky to have all these things going for me and I am thankful every damn day.
I fell into a bit of a funk this spring and early summer, but managed to pull myself out of it in August. I started planning my meals, walking 2-5 miles every day, and exercising on the Peloton bike I bought a year ago. I also started reading again and zipped through almost 50 books between June and now. By November, I was feeling strong and healthy. I felt like I had found a balance between work and activity and self-care. I was still coming to terms with my grandma passing in March of last year and with Ferguson (my sweet doggo) passing in September of last year. But I was trying and things were getting better. I felt like I had my feet underneath me.
Lemme stop you here if you don’t want to read about death and some general medical stuff. Because that’s mostly what you’re getting from here on out.
On November 21st, my mom texted me at 5:30am. I got it right away because I usually wake up around that time, alarm or not. She said she had dropped my dad off at the hospital because he was having difficulty breathing. Apparently, he’d been feeling bad for a week, but insisted to everyone that it was just his sinuses draining. I called her and began questioning her like I was cross-examining a star witness. I was able to piece together a really fucking shitty story.
My dad always went to a friend’s house on Friday evenings to have a couple beers and hang out. We’d all warned him since March that he needed to stop, but he insisted it was fine. He bought into a lot of the cavalier attitude that the Trump fans have over this virus. Plus, he was 64-years-old and didn’t take any medication so he probably thought it was no big deal. He spent a few hours at his friend’s house on November 6th. Unbeknownst to anyone at the time, he received a call from that friend on November 11th that the friend and the friend’s wife had tested positive for COVID. He didn’t share this info with my mother, my brothers, or my uncle, all of whom had been near him. By November 15th, he was coughing but insisted it was drainage when my mom suggested he take something for it and go to the doctor. By November 18th, he was worse and admitted to my mom that his friend had tested positive but that he hadn’t seen him for almost two weeks so his problems were just sinus-related and not COVID. My mom hates confrontation, so she accepted this and didn’t tell anyone, including me and my brothers. By November 19th, he had a fever and was having trouble breathing along with a persistent cough. He finally agreed to take some cold medicine, but refused to call his doctor’s office despite my mom asking him many, many times. At 4:30am on November 21st, he woke my mom and asked her to take him to the hospital because he couldn’t breathe well. She dropped him off and returned home to text me since they wouldn’t allow her in the building. She also texted my brothers, who admitted that they felt like they’d had a cold for several days. I live 4 hours away and haven’t traveled since March, so I hadn’t seen any of them.
A nurse called my mom a couple hours after she dropped my dad off to tell her that he was positive for COVID and pneumonia and they were admitting him to put him on a bipap. From what I understand, that’s the oxygen mask that pushes air into your lungs. Later that day, the health department called my mom and told her to quarantine for two weeks. My mom cooperated and gave them my brothers’ phone number (they live together), my uncle’s phone number, and the name and number of the person we suspected my dad was infected by (his friend). My brothers opted to get tested and were positive. They quarantined for two weeks and had mild to moderate symptoms (brief fever, very tired, cough, drainage). My mom had virtually no symptoms with the exception of some drainage that she took Mucinex for. She didn’t get tested, but she lived and slept in the same bed with my dad for a week while he was symptomatic. If my brothers got it from 30 minutes in the same room as him, surely she got it as well. My uncle and his son got tested, but they were negative.
My dad was cooperative with the doctor and nurses at first, but as the first day wore on he became irritated. He’d been without his chewing tobacco (yes, I know: eww) for several hours and was going through nicotine withdrawal, but wouldn’t admit that to the nurses or doctor. The next day he was put in ICU, still on the bipap, and even more unruly and rude to the staff taking care of him. They called my mom to ask her to talk to him and convince him to cooperate. They said if he couldn’t recover on the bipap and required a ventilator then “things would be very bad.” My mom tried to talk to him by text and he just continued to insist that he was well enough to come home.
I used to be close to my dad when I was a kid, but we’d grown apart over my adulthood. Over the past 20 years, my dad morphed into someone different. Everyone around him, especially my grandmother, told me they saw this happen the same as I did. The result was that my dad became someone I didn’t like and didn’t want to spend time with. He also didn’t seem to know how to talk to me anymore. To be fair, I didn’t give him much help in that regard. I texted him to see how he was doing and the conversation quickly devolved into him complaining about the care and insisting he was well enough to come home. I tried to reason with him and appeal to his love for my mom by saying that my fear was him coming home and giving her the virus. He told me that he’d decided he was no longer contagious and this was just a bunch of bullshit. This conversation via text continued through Monday and Tuesday (November 23rd and 24th), but it took a turn for the delusional. The doctor can only assume that the virus and the lack of oxygen had resulted in hallucinations and delusions. My dad told my mother and I that he was in an office building owned by a man named Mr. Pritt. He said he was the only patient and that this man was having his workers experiment on him and that they would eventually kill him. He demanded that we come get him immediately so he could recover at home. When we told him he’d die if he came home because he was too sick, he insisted he wasn’t sick at all and became very angry with us. He accused both my mom and I of conspiring to kill him because we wouldn’t help him. One day he told me that I’d confirmed what he’d known all along. I asked him what that was and he said, “That I always loved you more than you loved me.” This really hurt because even though I knew he was loopy, I also knew that he’d probably actually had that though before.
He began refusing treatment on those days and wouldn’t accept the steroids they were trying to give him and raised hell when they tried to take him for a chest x-ray. He also told them he didn’t want to be placed on a ventilator even though he had agreed to one when he was admitted. He was texting all of his friends and telling them he needed a ride home. He attempted to get up and leave the hospital twice, falling in the floor both times because he was so weak from lack of oxygen once he took the mask off. He also told my mom and I that he was secretly removing the mask when the nurses couldn’t see to prove to them that he wasn’t sick. He was taking and sending blurry pictures to us of the room as “evidence.” He told my mom to forward the pictures to “the feds.” The pictures were of his hospital bed, the whiteboard with his nurses’ and doctor’s names on it, his IVs, etc. By the morning of Wednesday, the 25th, I was getting some off-the-wall texts from him. He was begging us to come check him out of the hospital at that point and we were trying to play along and tell him we were getting everything in order for him to come home soon. Eventually, he told me that he wasn’t getting out of there alive and that he loved me. I told him I loved him too and begged him to do whatever the doctor said because the doctor wanted to help him get better.
A few minutes later, the nurse called my mom and asked if she’d been on the phone with my dad. My mom said she and I hadn’t spoken to him by any way other than text since he arrived at the hospital. The nurse said he had been on the phone with a woman, trying to convince her to come get him. The nurse made him put the call on speaker so she could tell the woman that he wasn’t well enough to leave. Because she was concerned that her message didn’t get through before my dad hung up, she called my mom to make sure he hadn’t convinced my mom to check him out against medical advice. My mom assured her that we had no intention of breaking him out of the hospital, but she didn’t know who the woman was. It wasn’t her or me. We called a long-time former co-worker of my dad’s that I’ve known since I was a kid and she said she hadn’t talked to him. We called his best friend and asked if he’d called and spoken to the man’s wife. Not her either. More on this later. I’m sure you know where it’s going.
We were stumped, but didn’t have time to deal with it because the nurse practitioner called and told my mom that my dad was delusional and could no longer make his own decisions. They said he had no chance of survival if they didn’t put him on a ventilator immediately. My mom called me. I told her to agree to it. The nurse called her back and gave the phone to my dad. He had agreed to the ventilator as well and wanted to tell my mom that he loved her and me and my brothers and his dog. His speech was slurred and muffled from the bipap mask, but she at least heard that. They intubated him right after the call. He was on a paralytic for a week. When they backed off on the paralytic, they had to increase his oxygen. A week later, the nurse tried to kindly tell us that he wasn’t getting better and his chances of survival were low. She suggested we start to talk about turning off the ventilator and letting him go. We did talk about that, which was very upsetting for everyone, but the doctor said he’d been on the ventilator for two weeks and we’d give him one more week to see what happens. By this point, he no longer had pneumonia. But the damage COVID did to his lungs couldn’t be repaired.
The ventilator was on full blast (highest pressure, highest oxygen) just to keep him somewhat stable. The days were ticking by and he still wasn’t making progress. Any step forward was followed by a bigger step back. My mom would call and get the update from the nurse most days, but I did call myself a few days. When I’d call and talk to the nurse, I’d get a grim picture that my mom didn’t seem to get or understand. I talked to her on December 12th and asked her if she was trying to protect my brothers and I or if she really thought he was going to get better. She admitted that she’d had a feeling for days that he wasn’t going to get better. We decided to just wait for the doctor to call. The nurse called my mom on Monday, December 14th and told her that my dad’s blood pressure was all over the place and they were struggling to keep him stable, that the ventilator was turned up to the highest settings and it was barely enough to keep him going. My mom texted me and told me she asked them to call me. The doctor called me within about 20 minutes and basically told me that my dad wasn’t going to make it. They’d had him on a ventilator for 19 days and within a couple days his throat tissue would likely become necrotic from the pressure of the cuff keeping the tube in place. They could only continue the ventilator if they could put in a trach and he wasn’t stable enough for that. In addition, he needed more support than the ventilator could provide. I was told he was either going to go into cardiac arrest while on the ventilator and die or they’d be forced to take him off the ventilator because of the damage to his throat. The most damning thing he told me was that he’d removed the sedation but my dad didn’t wake. He wasn’t responsive, wouldn’t squeeze their hands, wouldn’t flinch when they tested his reflexes, nothing.
I was told we could come sit with him and say goodbye when the ventilator was removed. I asked when and the doctor said soon. I live 4 hours from my parents, so I told him I’d leave right away and have my mom call to make arrangements for me to come to the hospital. I called my mom and told her all this and asked her to let the hospital know. I packed a bag and rushed out the door. On my way out of town, the doctor called me back and asked if I was on my way. My mom had told them that we’d come by the next morning and he was worried my dad wouldn’t make it through the night. So, I had to have a shitty conversation with my mom about how we couldn’t schedule my dad’s death for 7am on Tuesday, that it needed to happen at 8pm on Monday. I do not recommend these types of calls.
I got into town around 7pm and picked my mom up because she’d decided she wanted to come with me. My brothers said they couldn’t handle it and decided to stay at my mom’s house. My mom and I were taken to the COVID floor, given gowns, and gloves, told he was COVID positive so we’d need to continue to wear our cloth masks (no medical mask, is that safe?!), and escorted to his room in the ICU. Guys, he looked so fucking tired and so sad. It was heartbreaking. The nurse said their ICU was full and most of the patients were in the same shape as my dad. We talked to him for a few minutes, held his hand and all that shit. He didn’t respond in any way, so I don’t know if he was even there. We stepped out of the room while they removed the tube and gave him some medicine. When we went back in, his breaths were labored and it looked like he was gasping for air. My mom almost lost it because she wasn’t expecting that. I told her she could go wait in the hall and I’d stay with him until he passed. The nurse was kind enough to give him a little more medicine to make it less dramatic, but it was still difficult watching him breathe in that way. My mom sat so she couldn’t see his head to make things easier on herself. We sat there with him for about 40 minutes before he passed away at 8:32pm on Monday, the 14th.
I stayed with my mom last week and helped her arrange a private graveside service and the burial. She wanted to do a funeral and I thought that was the worst idea, so we agreed on doing a celebration of life next year when things are a little better (hopefully). To my knowledge, I haven’t had the virus. I operated under the assumption that my mom and brothers had it and were immune for now and wouldn’t transmit it. So, I was able to be with them without mask, but I did wear a mask when anyone else was around. I can’t say the same for the fucking funeral director and the locksmith’s employee who opened my dad’s safe for us, though. I live in a bigger city and mask wearing is pretty wide-spread here, but I saw so many people in my hometown (a more rural area) who didn’t bother with them.
Anyway, while all these graveside preparations are going on my mom goes through the bag of personal items from my dad that the hospital gave us. She tossed his clothes in the washer and placed his two rings into a bag to give to the funeral home so he could be buried in them. She also pulled out his wallet and his cell phone. His wallet has a picture that was obviously cut from an old driver’s license of a woman named Deb. Apparently, this woman lives in Florida and had attended junior high school with my dad. About two years ago, my parents took a trip to Florida and visited with her for several days. She even friended my mom on Facebook. So, the old driver’s license picture of her was very weird. What was even more disturbing? His wallet also contained a plastic bag of hair that very obviously is not my mom’s. And there was a piece of paper with three phone numbers on it. His phone was locked with a PIN and was set to wipe itself after 20 incorrect tries. I did tried to break into it, but wasn’t successful. My mom admitted that she suspected he’d been talking to someone on his phone for years, but she never directly confronted him about it. She’d just make comments about him always texting on his phone and being secretive. Two Christmases ago he bought her a ring at a store that she has an online login to. This particular store posts the receipts for all purchases linked to the customer’s account to the website. She saw that my dad had purchased two pieces of jewelry even though she only received one. My dad has never in his life bought me a Christmas present without my mom assisting, so she knew it wasn’t for me. She still didn’t confront him, though. She just told him that she could see the itemized receipts online.
I sympathized with my mom because I’ve experienced the infidelity of a partner in a relationship and if I were her then I’d want to know. But I also told her that I don’t know digging into it will make things any better and may not even give her the truth. He’s gone and there is nothing that can be done about that or anything else. While I was running errands for her the day before the graveside service, she messaged Deb in Florida and asked if she wanted her picture back. She also called the three phone numbers in his wallet. One went to Deb. The other two were the cell phone and work phone of my dad’s best friend’s wife, Anne. The same friend and wife who likely gave the virus to my dad. My mom told me when I got back that she’d done this and admitted she’d always felt like my dad was talking to Anne and might have an inappropriate relationship with her. I suspect my mom is right. Gut instinct is usually accurate. She said she didn’t think anything physical was going on with Deb, but she did think my dad was carrying on a flirtatious relationship with her via text. In both cases, he tried to hide it. And if you hide it, then you know it’s wrong. That night Deb messaged my mom back and said she had heard about what happened to my dad and was very sorry. She said that my dad was always clear that he was married and nothing went on that was inappropriate, but that he gave her someone to talk to when her husband was sick and dying five years earlier and they’d always kept in contact. Again, I don’t think my mom can count on anyone to give her the full story without spin or deceit. A couple days ago, she texted me a picture of a receipt from my dad’s truck. It was from last Christmas from a department store. It had two pieces of jewelry on it. She looked them both up using the UPCs listed and found the necklace he gave her last year and a ring she doesn’t recognize. We don’t know if he was giving this jewelry to Deb in Florida or Anne, his friend’s wife. Or someone else we don’t even know about. And we’re probably never going to know. Do I want to call Deb and Anne and tell them I want to full story? Fuck yeah. Do I think it will fix anything? Fuck no.
TL;DR? I finally found some balance in my life late this summer. This balance was destroyed when my dad got COVID and died after three weeks in the hospital. And when you’ve already got a not-so-great relationship with your dad, you get all kinds of feels when he dies in a traumatic way and then you find out he’s been screwing around on your mom. I also have lots of anger toward him for knowingly exposing my other family members to the virus simply because he didn’t want to own up to getting it after doing something we’d all told him to stop doing.
Health-wise? I think I’m okay. It’s been almost ten days since I was with him in the hospital and seven days since his graveside service. I haven’t had any symptoms yet and I think most people show symptoms by now. Regardless, I’ve been at home since I returned last Thursday evening and I intend to stay home until January 2nd. My boyfriend is also home and will be here until January 2nd as well. Just to be safe. My brothers are mostly recovered, but both still have a bit of a cough. My mom never had much in the way of symptoms and seems fine. My dad was 64 and overweight. We found out once he was admitted to the hospital that his regular doctor had told him he was a diabetic and my dad insisted on “treating” that with cinnamon instead of actual medicine. Other than those things, he didn’t have any health concerns. Be careful, ya’ll.
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