#i don’t have like an Actual Fear of or Dislike dogs i like them a lot. but most dogs make me incredibly anxious because they’re just like

[carsickcrow]

man i would actually be so fucking scared of werewolves in real life. it just occurred to me that since i am slightly afraid of regular actual dogs when they’re too close to me that would be worse with wolves and even worse with wolf monster things. hm. well obviously most people would be scared of a werewolf in real life. like they are literally known for killing people indiscriminately. what am i saying

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Scars

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.3K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: mention of smut but nothing too vivid, Tav history but nothing horrible, kinda funny in some ways, really enjoyed writing this one and if you don't like it - I hate to tell you but you are wrong (I don't make the rules here sorry (I def do make the rules)), I'm so sleep deprived lord help me

-------------------------

You laid across from Astarion, enjoying each other's company as the early morning rays of golden sunshine cascaded into the tent. It was the first night you had slept together of Astarion’s own volition. After defeating Cazador, he decided to try living again and he wanted to indulge in every way possible, including indulging in you. It was sweet, gentle, thoughtful lovemaking. Ensuring you were both comfortable and consenting was at the forefront of both your minds. You laid on your combined bedrolls nude, your lower halves covered by a thin blanket. Astarion traced over your face deftly, his fingers subconsciously tracing over the scars that crossed your eye, cheek, and lips. 

“How did you get these?” he asked suddenly.

Your eyes opened completely, waking from their sleepy haze to find his.

“Forgive me, that was rude… you don’t have to tell me.” he said, shaking his head. 

You smiled at him, kissing him briefly. “I’m just as old as you, I have quite a few scars if you’d like to hear the many tales.” you smirked.

He let out a relieved sigh, worried he had offended you somehow. He nodded at your question, finding the raised blemishes to be quite beautiful against your skin. 

“These,” you said gently moving his fingers across your eye and cheek, “are from a devil. My very short stint fighting in the Blood War gave me these.” 

“And this,” you said tracing over your lips, “from a dog. Bit me when I was 7.”

You moved his hand to trace over the large scar that spanned across your neck, “A near death fight with a Bhaal spawn. Nearly took my head off, thankfully I had quite the healer with me.”

Astarion grimaced at this scar. He couldn’t imagine that kind of pain. Being bitten by Cazador had felt like a shard of icy glass being plunged into his neck. Having your throat sliced open by someone as vicious as a Bhaal spawn, he could imagine the immense fear seeing all the blood seeping from you, your life slipping away slowly. He thanked any gods who were listening for the healer who saved you long ago.

“How old were you?” he whispered.

“For my neck?” you asked, “I was 80, my first time in Baldur’s Gate actually. Quite the welcome.” you chuckled. 

You carried on with your little tour of your body. “This one,” you said, tracing a very faint scar of three little dots on the top of your chest, “I gave to myself. Turns out forks are quite dangerous if you trip with them in your hand.” 

Astarion scoffed, a breathy laugh coming out after. As gifted of a fighter as you are, you are also the most accident prone individual he has ever met. 

“Lets see…” you continued moving his fingers to your upper ribs where a deep, jagged scar lay, “A worshiper of Loviatar “blessed” me with that one.”

“Blessed you?” he said, quirking an eyebrow with a hint of confusion in his eyes.

“Let's just say Loviatar worshipers enjoy all manner of things in the bedroom.” you blushed. “It was truly a blessing though, the knife they so graciously stabbed me with was infused with magic. Makes me harder to kill since I “embraced” Loviatar.” 

Astarion smiled at that one. He had noticed how slashing didn’t seem to have much effect on you in battle, now he knows why.

“This one,” you said, moving his hand to a scar that spanned from your belly button to your hip, “Particularly brutal - a Lolth sworn drow and a drider came after me while I was knocked down. Turns out spider legs are sharp as fuck. And the venom? Lord, I have yet to feel a sting quite like that again.” 

Astarion frowned, he always despised spiders. Now he has even more reason to dislike them.

“This,” you moved his hand to your upper right thigh, “Another self-inflicted accident. Swam in the Black Lake, which is forbidden and for good reason too. Giant eels leave quite the electric burn.” 

“Why were you in a forbidden lake?” he asked, thumbing over the patchy scar.

“Why not?” you winked at him with a smirk.

Gods he loved your rebellious spirit, quite matched his own. Trouble seemed to find you both all too easily and yet, you always managed to make fun out of it. 

“This,” you said as you dramatically slapped his hand to your ass cheek. He felt for a moment before feeling a raised “X” shape. “An arrow of Ilmater from a particularly pissed off dwarf.”

“And, pray tell, why was he pissed off?” he said with a smirk of his own. 

“I may or may not have been trying to steal a particular magical necklace.” you grinned.

Astarion hooked his finger under the golden chain around your neck that always had a slight ethereal glow to it. “I’m assuming you managed to steal said necklace?” he said before tugging on it to pull you into a kiss. 

You giggled when you pulled away as his lips followed yours, you pecked them again before continuing. “Yes. Well worth it though, it prevents me from being poisoned. It’s come in handy more than once.” 

You moved his hand to your knee but not before he gave your ass a final squeeze. You squealed as you leaned into him. He would never get tired of your toothy grin, it was like sunshine to him, he loved to bask in it. 

“This one,” you said as you moved his hand to feel over two parallel scars, “from a mermaid. She tried to drown me so I kicked her off, but not before her scales dug into me.” 

“Why was she trying to drown you?” he asked.

You gave him a sarcastic look, “Have you ever met a mermaid? They don’t need a reason, they do it for sport.” 

Astarion nodded, making a mental note to not venture too far into mermaid infested waters. 

“Kept the scales though! Worth a fortune since they make elixir of water breath.” you said jovially, finding the positive in said situation.

“Elixir of what?” Astarion asked, searching his mind for this unknown elixir. 

“Water breath; you can breathe underwater for quite some time once you drink it. Rather rare though, getting scales off a mermaid is a pretty deadly task.” you shrugged.

“Any more?” Astarion said, his eyes running over all the scars that littered your body. So many stories, so many emotions. 

“Just two…” you said as you raised your foot up so his hand could feel over the top of it. A “Z” shaped scar. “This one is from a Zhentarim, hence the “Z” shape. Got caught trying to break into one of their hideouts. Left me with a lovely little scar to remind me not to try again.” 

Astarion traced the shape, you jerked away at the ticklish feeling. 

“Finally,” you said moving his hand between your legs right where the plush of your thigh meets your groin, “this one is from the best lover I have ever had.” 

Astarion felt for a moment but couldn’t feel anything. He looked up at you confused, “There's no scar here?” he said, waiting for you to guide him to the proper spot.  

“Not yet. I suggest you get to it, fangs.” you smirked at him. 

Astarion gave you a wicked smile when your words clicked in his head, “I’d be honored to add to the collection…” he said as he trailed himself down your body, leaving feverish pecks and little nips as he descended before licking over your thigh and sinking his fangs in. 

You arched your back while you carded your fingers through his white curls. You never wanted to leave this bed, this tent, or him. And luckily, you didn’t have to, not now. Not ever. He would alway be yours, and you his.

------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello! :D I am so fucking tired but also very awake right now working this overnight. I fucking love this piece so I hope you all do too! Fun fact, the fork scar is an actual scar I have because I am, in fact, a clumsy bitch lol. This felt very fluffy to me and just generally made me feel better so I hope it was comforting to ya'll as well. Talk soon, thanks for everything!!!!!!!! TTYLXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Feb 20th

~*~

1. Hello, when you do the next itmf could you please rec some fics that shows wangxian’s relationship progressing? And I don’t mean like friends to lovers or rivals to lovers or whatever, I mean like the actual relationship. Like them both at the start being all shy and giving each other gifts and learning what the other likes and dislikes, and then slowly gaining confidence in their relationship (in the physical aspect but also in the emotional aspect)

Thank you !!!

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 762k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) it’s not focused on the relationship but it’s a good part of it and they get together in the second chapter and it’s SUCH A GREAT STORY

💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX not adopted by Jiangs, developing friendships, miscommunication, misunderstangings, nightmares, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, WWX’s fear of dogs, slow burn, cultivation world bureaucracy)

~*~

2. itmf fics that people refer wwx as lan er furan but it's m/m fics. thank uuuu.

Baby, You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by TriviasFolly (E, 132k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Omega LSZ, Mafia, Crime, Sects are Clans, Feral WWX, Feral Omegas, Nurse WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Possessive LWJ, feminine WWX, wwx's cannon desire to be a sugar baby/trophy wife, Breeding Kink, Mpreg) Technically it's "mxy" being called Lan furen (bc wwx is hiding out as mxy) and it doesn't happen until a little later in the fic but it does show him trying to learn the furen duties and things

~*~

3. any unrequited fics from lwj's side? not really unrequited more than works, but i just wanna see the pining.

temporarily unrequited.

not actually unrequited.

the tag search on aot doesn't really have a lot from lwj's side and even if it does, it's very minimum so i'm looking for some which are slightest bit heavy on the angst.

like lwj resigning to being his friend/enemy/stranger so he doesn't force his feels. just angst, possibly with a happy ending but also works if it isn't.

thank you so much!

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending) I'm not sure if this is what they want but When the Words Stop Coming has LWJ reject WWX at first, then when he comes back, WWX rejects LWJ (kindly, but there's still a lot of angst). Happy ending tho

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm (E, 170k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed LWJ, sex worker WWX, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Background ChengQing, background NieLan, background XuanLi, Nonbinary NHS)

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX) are both good modern AUs from LWJ’s perspective where he PINES for a good portion of the story until they work things out!

~*~

4. hi!! thanks for everything u do here!!! for the next itmf: canon divergence fics where wangxian get together early (eg, during the cloud recesses lectures, before/during the war or anytime before wwx's death) but wwx still dies (and gets resurrected) like in canon. arranged marriage, a/b/o, mpreg, all/any settings are fine!!

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

~*~

5. thank you for all your hard work! any modern setting fic recs where wwx has a modern setting equivalent of the golden core transfer for jc? can be an organ donation, can be him being a scapegoat for smth jc did, can also be a golden core transfer still as long as it's in a modern cultivation setting, etc. thank you in advance :)

🧡🔒 Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 160k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP) I am absolutely feral about this one and cannot recommend it enough!

💙 the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, modern culitvation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Sort Of, Getting Together, Confessions)

❤️ All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 52k, wangxian, modern, reincarnation, sugar daddy, kink negotiation, gentle dom LWJ)

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

❤️ the best of you by sysrae (E, 41k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, slightly undernegotiated kink, but in a very soft and consensual way, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JFM and Madam Yu's A+ parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health Issues therapy is good actually, the most tender of railings, Reference to animal attacks/animal cruelty, descriptions of past violence)

~*~

6. Hi thanks for all the work that you guys do !! I was just in the mood for fics where the juniors get to meet YLLZ!wwx !! I saw a fanart on twitter and since then I’ve had a massive craving for this :) thanks so much again !!

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

~*~

7. hi! do you guys have any fics to rec where jiang cheng is the one who finds a-yuan and raises him? i don’t mind if lwj is there tbh but i really wanted to read a-yuan growing up in lotus pier. thank u! no jiang cheng/lan wangji shipping please! i’ll take them as friends, co-parents even qpps but no romantic relationship between them if possible @thwispsings

The Accidental Baby Acquisition Club by nerdzeword (T, 26k, jiang cheng & lan wangji, wangxian, Found Family, as in they find kids, and then they're family, JC and LWJ as reluctant best friends, coparenting with your brother in law, a surplus of bunnies, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Autistic Character, Nonbinary Character, Fluff)

none lives forever, brother, and nothing lasts for long by eena (M, 38k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ raised at Lotus Pier, JC found him first, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation)

So Reluctant To Part by quietellen (Sociofemme) (G, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, accidental resurrection, JC raises LSZ, Golden Core Reveal, Grief/Mourning, Injury, Recovery, WQ Lives, JYL Lives, NMJ Lives, XY Dies, JGY doesn't marry QS, Enemies to co-parents)

~*~

8. hi! ITMF fics focusing on the Twin Jades of Lan? I just read “Turn Left” by kianspo and loved the focus on the brothers. Bonus points if Wangji and Xichen are described as actually looking like twins, but it isn’t necessary! Thank you!

and he sang about the stars by nenyanaryavilya (M, 29k, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death)

~*~

9. If there is any fix where wwx was harrassed by jin guanghan and then his family preferably lwj goes all feral @itzweiwuxian

~*~

10. Hello! Thanks for your work! I am in the mood for fics exploring LWJ PTSD from the Sunshot War.

I was reading “Take My Breath Away” by MajiLovePrincess (E) and it’s briefly mentioned he gets startled by fireworks, and the concept fascinates me!

Thanks for you help!

~*~

11. I'm itmf a good railing. Any new fics out with top LWJ and bottom wwx?

~*~

12. Hiii, I’m looking for fics that are Jiāng Yànlí critical but don’t have the tag “Jiang Yanli bashing”

I reread the “A Matter of Time” series and I just need it lol. @kyuubikuroba

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 46k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Time Travel Fix-It, JC, Bashing Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing Jiāng Family Bashing, YZY Bashing, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, Wooing, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, frankencanon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gūsū Lán Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

~*~

13. hiii! i'm itmf some wangxian get-together during cr era? idk if that's too broad but idm if it's a oneshot or multichap. i just want wangxian realising their feelings much much earlier lol

Just Say Yes Series by edenwolfie (T/M, 338k, WangXian, Matchmaking, Pining, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Fluff, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Humor, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Good Uncle LQR, Engagement, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It)

💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons by starandrea (G, 2k, WangXian, Accidental Marriage)

~*~

14. Hi there! I am looking for fics where Wei Ying gets discouraged from pursuing Lan Zhan because he is not showing any reciprocation. I absolutely need there to be a happy ending because as much as I want to be in my feels for my Wangxian I don't want my soul crushed. Thank you! @professional-fangirl75

🔒a flower beyond the edge of the clouds by RoseThorne (T, 531, WangXian, Soulmates, Character Death, Red String of Fate, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Misunderstandings, Angst, Rejection, Loss, 16 years of mourning, Regret, POV Third Person, POV LWJ)

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You're an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, Porn with feelings, College/University)

~*~

15. Hello! In the mood for fics where Wei Wuxian takes back his core from Jiang Cheng? Preferably in a big dramatic scene that reveals he gave it away in the first place? Thank you~!

Return to Sender by Thesaurus_with_no_words (M, 72k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Temporary Amnesia, Slow burn) there might not be dramatic scenes but here are some fics where JC loses WY's core

🔒 Flawed and Free by Vrishchika (E, 18k, wangxian, major character death, time travel fix-it, dark LWJ, dark LXC, dark gusu lan, temporary character death, not JC friendly, angst, hurt/comfort, WIP)

Having Enough (of your foolishness) by makexianxianhappytoday (T, 18k, wangxian, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, Wangxian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Not Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Friendly, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, (but what are the consequences), not JC friendly, Not Cultivation World Friendly)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

~*~

16. Hello! For the I’m in the Mood for a Fic, I recently read "say it's here where our pieces fall in place" by Lirelyn, where one chapter had an awesome poem quote. What other fics have poetry? They could be quoted in the beginning of the story, in the middle. I'm looking for anything, canon, modern, etc. I once read a fic that had a poem that gave the impression of a leaf that is uncurled to resemble a fist, but I don't remember what it was. @ihavetothinkofaname

❤️ Where the nightingales are singing, and a white moon beams. by Moominmammashandbag (M, 52k, wangixan, jin zixuan & lan wangji, no powers au, grief/mourning, aftermath of war, angst w/ happy ending, reunions, fluff & smut)

Chapter 5 of The Wild Geese's Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (T, 66k, wangxian, LXC/JGY, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, all women live no women die)

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon, Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, past 3Zun, past SongXiao, background WangXian, background SL & WN, & LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell)

~*~

17. Hi! I have a request for the next ITMF- I'd love to see LWJ as plant parent! "Lavender Blue" from Anaphoricae and "in the blossom season (in the pouring rain)" from Varnes are a few of my favourites. Completed modern AUs, or Modern with magic are preferred, but I'll check out anything. Thank you for the work you do :D

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[cookii-moon]

Introducing… the Perfectly Neurotypical Ninja!!!

(I had an idea and thought it’d be funny)

our first incredibly neurotypical ninja is…

✨ JAY! ✨

Has zero volume control whatsoever

He can NOT be quiet for the life of him

There is no way he doesn’t have some form of anxiety disorder

Like his entire panic and fear definitely seem like anxiety to me

Has a plushie he still sleeps with for comfort and is emotionally attached to (which is super real of him honestly)

Panic attacks

He DEFINITELY has hyperfixations

Have you just seen him in general

That one short where he just starts running around on the roof

Also that one time he and Kai were supposed to train and got distracted by competition (Actually this could probably apply to all the ninja because they do this type of thing all the time)

Got so hyperfixated on dancing games that he learnt how to dance

I don’t think he can sit still it just doesn’t seem possible to me

(I’m not a Jay fan so I can’t point to much else off the top of my head but we’re all in agreement there’s no way he’s neurotypical right?)

Okay never mind, our FIRSt neurotypical ninja is…

✨ COLE! ✨

Talks to himself. A lot.

No seriously he talks to himself so much

Professional school dropout

Gets along great with animals and people who don’t fit in

Probably has owned a pet. Or five. (Probably a cat or a reptile) (he came around to them eventually and now he loves them) (dogs are too energetic and loud)

Most likely has depression

Definitely has sensory issues there’s no way he doesn’t

That one time he nearly had a breakdown from being overwhelmed. (Points to core shorts)

Dislikes metaphors (canon)

Wears the exact same hoodie without fail in every single episode where he has to wear civilian clothing (I think it’s a comfort thing at this point)

Probably taught himself several different ninja things he had no need to learn (why can he fight with a sword and nunchucks when he never uses either of them outside of a single special) (this also applies to shields and staffs and throwing stars but those are at least practical)

He says it’s to prepare but really he did it for fun

Has somehow not discovered his ninja special interest yet

(he physically can’t do anything else it’s too boring) (even when he’s not ninjaing he needs to practice once a day minimum or else he explodes)

Dances when happy/excited (definitely not a stim)

Immediately starts telling Jay about dancing when he enters the contest in a very excited manner (definitely not infodumping)

Has caused several misunderstandings due to bad social skills (he can NOT read the room for the life of him)

His best friend is Jay.

(even if he’s not autistic there’s no way this guy is neurotypical.)

(these are not the actions of a neurotypical person we’re all in agreement of that right)

Whoops… uh…never mind…our FIRST!!!! Neurotypical ninja…

✨ NYA! ✨

Terrified of failure

Like it haunts her she does NOT want to fail she has an entire arc devoted to it

Has a hard time letting go of things (she holds grudges A LOT)

This also includes things of sentimental value like Samurai X

Change is difficult for her just in general

SUPER stubborn

Definitely has a schedule that she envisions in her head but forgets to tell everyone else

(that short where she planned to spend time with Jay but he was going to the arcade)

Short temper especially on bad days

The more I write this the more I realize how little characterization she actually gets for most of the series

Justice for Nya honestly

(I’m assigning her neurodivergence I don’t care how short this is)

(I think autistic. But spicy.)

(probably also anxiety or OCD)

(do you see the vision)

….Okay so maybe not that one either- Uh… our FIRST!!! Neurotypical !!! Ninja!!!

✨ KAI! ✨

Has anger issues. Probably.

Super impulsive

No like incredibly impulsive. Ultra impulsive.

Craves attention but has really bad self worth issues

Hinges his worth on his powers (not healthy)

Wanted to be useful so badly that he convinced himself he’d get powers if he drop kicked Garmadon (it did not work)

Did I mention anger issues

Wants to be useful so he can protect!!!

That one time he and Jay were supposed to be training and-

Has zero patience

(I don’t know what flavor of neurodivergent he is but he’s neurodivergent somehow)

(once again I don’t pay attention to Kai there’s definitely more)

…Okay so this time for sure. Introducing FOR SURE our FIRST neurotypical ninja….

✨ ZANE! ✨

Do I even need to say anything

The entire episode “Home”

Social skills

Taking things literal

That one canon (?) book where he apparently has flashbacks to the ice emperor (im calling OCD or PTSD on that one Zane)

Also that one time he locked away bad memories in decoded (decoded is canon to me and the reason for that is mainly because it actually references ghost Cole (iirc) which is a miracle)

Yeah I think he has PTSD

that one time he hyperfixated on and roleplayed as a detective and then a pirate

probably more. Maybe.

That one’s a robot he’s disqualified. The FIRST, FOR SURE, NO MISTAKES, neurotypical ninja is…

✨ LLOYD! ✨

The fact he apparently has so much of starfarer memorized that he can nearly win a quiz contest thingy and the only thing that stopped him from doing that was that he hadn’t read a brand new limited edition issue

starfarer in general he is not normal about starfarer

Way too trusting for his own good

I would be more surprised if he didn’t have some sort of disorder considering everything he’s gone through

hes got to have at least something related to his trauma right

(This one is way shorter because. Again. Not a Lloyd fan. but. I think the starfarer thing is enough to push him into probably not neurotypical territory.)

(most kids do not know the entire plot and all the fun facts to a long running comic book series by heart)

Are you kidding me none of them are neurotypical?

Okay ne- what do you mean the last one

there’s those ones over there!!!! *points to Arin, Sora and wyldfyre*

Oh wait they’re also neurodivergent?

…..uuuuugh shows canceled then…. Sigh… Guess I’ll start up the Incredibly Neurodivergent Ninja show instead.

(disclaimer this is a joke)

(but they are all neurodivergent that part isn’t)

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs take Y/N to a nearby carnival in the badlands

WARNING: Chaos ensues. Why the fuck would you take them anywhere?

Scout:

- He’s fine with this. He used to love going to carnivals. It was all him and his family could afford on weekends.

- You’re somewhat bothered by the heat but he’s resilient as fuck. “You want me to grab you some water, babe?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer. Returns in fucking milliseconds with water. You don’t know how he’s so damn fast.

- Sits on the fariswheel with you, he had planned this to be super romantic but he feels awkward. He tries to lighten the mood by standing up in the car and whacking his ball into the poor crowd of people. “Watch this. This is for you, babe.” The sandman ball hits a guy in the face and probably kills him. You’re pretty convinced he’s not alive anymore. “Home run!” He calls out. “Woooo!”

———————————————————-

Solider:

- EXCITED. EXCITED. EXCITED. If he were a dog he’d be wagging his tail. For all the wrong reasons. You know full well you’re in for a ride. It’s not a thrill ride.

- He takes the shooting games way too seriously. Gets mad when he doesn’t get the plush toy prize and pulls out his actual stock rocket launcher to rely on pure splash damage. (Where the fuck did he even hide that?) They’re forced to hand him his prize in fear for their lives.

- If you lose a game, he beats the shit out of the person running the stall. He insists it’s their fault and the game was rigged. Your shot is flawless.

- You leave him alone for TWO SECONDS and he’s already harassing a random bird on the fence he believes to be a Russian drone. Children are staring at him. You can’t take this man anywhere.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- He’s not used to this. He went to the Highland games as a kid. Never really had a carnival around his village. He experiences a bit of awe and intrigue as you walk the streets with him. He’s still in his vest and the people of Tuefort are heckling him. They know he’s one of those annoying mercenaries. He thinks this is fucking hilarious.

- He hates the food though. Eugh. He discovers pretty quickly he has a dislike for fried chicken. Insults America’s tastes to hell and back. Almost fucking vomits when he tastes the mac and cheese. What the fucking hell is wrong with you people?

- “Err.. Dontae think those rides are a bit dangerous?” He asks, jutting his thumb behind him. He doesn’t notice the kiddy rollercoaster breaking into pieces behind him followed by screaming families. He’s probably too used to that sound to process it coherently.

- Suspiciously eyes the men setting up the fireworks for tonight. He glares at them while sipping the cheap alcohol he begrudgingly bought at one of the food stalls. Nitpicks them for setting them up wrong. He sets them up himself but the fireworks nearly kill everyone. Turns out he made them more efficient. By that I mean deathly. “No, sweetheart. they’re FIREWORKS. FIREWORKS.” you tell his drunken stupid ass.

—————————————————————

Engineer:

- Oh fuck he’s excited. He had good memories going to carnivals as a kid. Eats like a fucking beast and doesn’t hold back. You watch this man consume more than his own body weight.

- Goes straight to the mechanical bull. Asks you to hold his cowboy hat he wore on the way here. “Sit back and let a big man like me show you how it’s done, darlin.” He doesn’t even fall off once. It looks like he’s barely even moving. He stands up on the fucking bull and flips off the last guy who ate shit on it. Embarrassing him in front of his kids.

- As you’d suspect he’s sort of insulting the lack of regular maintenance on the rides. Whilst in line for the Zipper he shakes his head like a disappointed father and scraps the rusted paint off the ride with his glove. Crushing it to dust between his fingers. Shakes his head some more and sighs.

- Congratulations. The state of these rides have broken this poor man. He can’t take it anymore. Take him to the petting zoo with the farm animals right now before he suffers a brain hemorrhage.

———————————————————————

Heavy:

- “What did little baby say about carnival?”

- He’s heard of carnivals in plenty of books but his life of isolation has prevented him from ever experiencing such a thing. The concept is almost alien.

- Well, he goes with you and he hates it. He looks like an incredibly discontent kitten the entire time. As you ride with him in all the kiddy rides, he looks even more pissed as he just so happens to break one of the rides upon sitting in it. The consequences of being a giant mass of muscle are truly unfortunate on this day.

- His face brightens up a little bit as you buy him a footlong sandwich. He’s never seen a sandwich this big before. He eats the entire thing within’ minutes.

- Finally you find a place in the carnival he somewhat enjoys but pretends not to. He hits the high striker so hard the bell fucking breaks and goes flying. He complains that this game is too easy — until he’s handed a cute little toy bunny of course. “I have been gifted rabbit?”

- Everybody is now batshit afraid of him.

��——————————————————————-

Pyro:

- YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bouncing in the car the entire way there. Miss Pauling had to drive you two there because Pyro doesn’t own a vehicle. She sighs in exasperation and asks pyro to“please quiet down, sweetie. Pauling is thinking.”

- You have a massive dog jumping off the walls of the car right now. They can’t sit still. Pauling is miserable. In other words, water is wet.

- Once she drops you off she makes you both swear to not catch anything on fire. It’s bad for business and doesn’t give them a good look. Pyro has no intentions of listening to her and heads straight for the fire eating performance. In their point of view; these people are somehow consuming rainbows.

- They do all sorts of things with you. Allowing you to lead the way to any attraction you felt drawn to. Whether it be trying to get dolls or getting on a ride. They seemingly want to do as much as possible before the sun goes down.

- after you tell them it’s late, they groan in despair but nod obediently. Prioritizing your guys’ shitty adulthood of work was sadly something that had to be done. They held your hand on the way back. Carrying a shit load of plush dolls in the other massive glove.

- “Did you two have fun?” Miss Pauling asks, you swear she puts on a motherly voice just for pyro. He excitedly claps his hands and agrees with her. She blinks though and sees the chaos behind you. You trace her gaze with confusion, wondering what she was gawking at. For some reason the entire carnival was on fire and you didn’t even notice on your way out that it spread to pretty much every corner.

- You both look back at Pyro. They’re holding a match. Of fucking course. Miss Pauling rubs her face. “I’ll call the firemen..” She sighs in defeat.

————————————————————-

Sniper:

- “Carnivals are stupid.” He says, a lit cigarette between his teeth. “Jus’ mediocre entertainment. Not even good. Believe it or not I have standards for my own personal pleasure as well. I’m not going to some stupid thick headed colonel sanders’ freakshow to eat hot grease n’ Emu legs.” You have to correct him that it’s technically turkey legs. “Whatevea mate.”

- You somehow manage to convince him anyway. But he was doing this only for you. He growls as you drag him by the hand onto the carnival grounds. Wishing he was back in bed. He glares at everybody who even dares breathe in his direction.

- He likes the farm animals well enough but quickly diverts his attention away in slight intrigue upon seeing the shooting gallery. You are thrilled and BEG him to win a prize for you. “There’s no way in hell i’m doing that, love.” You want to see this guy in action and the look of shock upon everybody’s faces as Sniper beats multiple children.

- Well.. Okay. But only because you keep inflating his ego with your compliments. He goes up, gives the person in charge his money, and brings the scope to his eye. Multiple kids are in the gallery next to him and missing every single shot on the fake cardboard animals. He mutters an insult to their ineptitude. He doesn’t even have to look to know they didn’t land a shot.

- Sniper takes down literally all the targets within’ seconds. Including the ones that the poor children were shooting at. Every. single. cardboard animal.

- The person running the stall begrudgingly gives him the biggest teddy bear they have. The Teddy bear that multiple families present were wanting to get in the first place. Kids are complaining and parents are complaining. Life’s suddenly great. Sniper looks amused at the amount of attention and cracks a smile at you. He wonders how you knew this would make him happy.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- “Ack! what complete nonsense! I am far too busy of a man for such boyish games!” He acts dramatic about it. Crossing his arms and turning up his nose.

- “Yeah but— what if somebody dies on the broken ass rides? That’s like free organs right there.” You say.

- “Hoo. Well, you do have a point. Alright! I’m convinced. But only this once.”

- Medic is actually rather terrible at the gun related games. He can’t aim precisely. At one point you found a crossbow related game and he held his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Realizing he had managed to hit everywhere but the desired target. You joke that hey— at least a life isn’t on the line this time. He passive aggressively slaps you over the head lightly with his glove and moves to the next game.

- You go to the bathroom and come back to see him dragging a bloodied dead body into his car. “Ah, I’d explain but it’s a rather long story!” he says enthusiastically. Accidentally holding up his equally bloodied ubersaw, and then immediately hiding it behind his back.

- He won’t go on the rides. He’s bold and brash but he isn’t an idiot. He knows full well those things aren’t structurally sound. He stands up tall in his usual thinking pose. A finger to his chin as he takes in the sight of the rides. “What are you thinking?” You ask him. He grins at you. That disgusting, devilish, i’m-making-an-evil-plan grin. You are now scared.

- He steals an entire fucking carnival ride for less than moral medical purposes. The ENTIRE FUCKING THING is in the back of his car and the car is chugging along. Wheezing and trying to get this thing back to the base. He’s going to break it apart and sow the parts onto a Frankenstein-like creature.

_________________________________________

Spy:

- Mother of god, can’t you guys go on a more relaxing date? One with less screaming, noisy music, and people? What about a nice five star restaurant? Or the park?

- He refuses to eat any of the food. At all. He’d rather starve in a ditch than eat such filth. Not even bothering with the alcohol. He avoids people like the plague and you’ll turn to ask him a question and WHOOOOSH! he won’t even be there until you reach your hand out and blink his invis watch by poking him. “Stop cloaking, pussy.”

- He literally begs you to choose another place. PLEASE. End his suffering. You swear you’ll find something here he enjoys though.

- You were standing in line for a ride and once you got to the front he had stepped out of line and said “Oh! after you.” In typical gentlemen fashion. Letting you go on the entire ride by yourself. You glare at him from the ride and he’s smirking mischievously. Waving his fingers to greet you.

- For the rest of the night he takes it upon himself to mess with you. You offer him some cotton candy and he hands it to a little boy in a stroller instead while nobody was looking. You saw that in the corner of your eye. “Im not fucking blind, Spy.” You say. He puts his hands behind his back innocently. “Oh, what? I consumed the wretched morsel like you asked!” “No, you didn’t Spy.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for kicking a puppy?

So, I (20M) got bit by a dog as a kid. I still have the scars on my hand and arm. This led to a really bad fear that I am now mostly over, but I still have a pretty fundamental dislike for dogs. I don’t say anything when people are gushing about their precious fur baby, but I do not want to be around them. The vast majority of people don’t have well trained dogs, and having a random dog come up to me and jump on me will make me pretty damn upset.

Of course, a week ago I’m doing schoolwork at a cafe when a woman comes in with two little poodles. They’re both on leashes/harnesses, but they’re not well trained- both are barking and one jumps up on her. I consider this a ‘not my circus’ situation and pointedly ignore them. (I have no idea if the cafe actually allowed animals inside or not; I don’t remember seeing any obvious signs claiming either)

Unfortunately, I’m sitting close to the counter, and as the woman is standing by the register and trying to pay there’s enough slack in the leashes for one of the dogs to come investigate. I’m staring at my laptop screen as if sheer denial will resolve the situation. It jumps on my leg. I make a weird squeaky sound like a crushed children’s toy and half-kick it away from me- not very hard, but there’s a noticeable thud and a yelp. It goes back to its mom, who is staring at me like I… well. Kicked a puppy.

In my infinite wisdom, the best defense I could muster was “Sorry, I hate dogs.”

This did not endear her to me and she quickly paid and left.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ask-olive-huchers]

just for funnies, I'm gonna do a relationship chart thingy realll quick with the characters Olive has interacted with (plus maple, Chris, Ditch, and pebble bc they technically have met but there's so roleplay for them-)

Olive and Bailey: close friends, kinda like siblings! Olive definitely sees him as a big brother, though! And (don’t tell anyone!), They definitely look up to Bailey a lot

Olive and Sora: close! Sora is like the mother of the group, so naturally Olive see's him as a role model!

Olive and Zaria: they know she helped Rowan with her plan. So. hate.

Olive and jasper: ehh, neutral (ish). Just has fun messing with him most of the time. So I guess possibly another brother figure idk

Olive and Rowan: despises. Hates. Would kill. Could kill. It’s their fault. Or, that’s what olive thinks anyway.

• Olive and Finn: neutral. Not much to say in this in, olive just doesn't really know Finn that much.

Olive and Jay: ZERO OUT OF TEN. HATE EACHOTHER, DEARLY. WOULD PUNCH THIS MAN FOR A CRUMB OF BREAD BRO. ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM SHUT UP.

Olive and Skipp: do I even need to explain this one? ok, fine. Olive definitely "likes" Skipp. Let's put in simple terms for now, shall we?

Olive and Yuki: Dislike. Only bc bro was in a bad mood when they had met. Then again Olives kinda always in a bad mood, so..-

Olive and Ray: sorta dislike. Only because they had a bad first impression as well. But all of Olive's first impressions involve anger so..no hard feelings?

Olive and Quinn: a like for sure. I mean, her dog had already won them over! Plus she was pretty nice!

Olive and Stone: neutral. I mean, he's okay I guess.

AND NOW, TIME FOR THE OTHERS THAT ARE CONTROLLED BY ME!:

Olive and Ditch: hate. Hate. Hate. Pure annoyance. If given the chance, Olive would stab him in the neck and stomp on his body. They'd throw his body into the ocean. Plus, Olive would tie giant rocks to his body so he'd sink to the very bottom. Where no one could find him. But he's too important to the story so that'll never happen! Perhaps in another universe...

Olive and Chris: neutral. Not practically close, but Olive does like to call him out for anything he's done wrong. They find it funny how ironically clumsy he is.

Olive and Maple: neutral. That's all I have to actually say but, I don't reallly think they'd have have a straight bond. It would probably be from their friend group, if you know what I mean.

Olive and Pebble: I guess sorta like? I mean, he must be cool if they're dating Bailey. Right? Though I think they've only met like, once..-

AND BONUS: OLIVES RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS!! And Adi!

Olive and Calvin (their father): hate. I thought that was obvious..? But yeah. He's a pretty shitty dad who was verbally abusive and physically abusive. What was worse was it was only olive that WAS being abused, so it was favouritism for sure.

Olive and Charolette (their mother): Strong disliking. Not much as a hate, though. Their mother was fairly nice to them when they were younger. And the only golden child to appreciate. But once Their sister was born, Olives perfect little world had fallen apart.

Olive and Adi: let's get something straight. Olive hates a bunch of people. Like, a lot. But Adi takes the number one spot on the leaderboard. Olive absolutely DESPISES HER. I mean, she RUINED their life! If you were to ask olive how they ended up on the streets, they'd probably say their father. And little sister. If they could torture anyone until the end of time, Olive would 100% pick Adi. I mean, that's the whole reason they had murder their mother. To strike fear into the child, and to get the message clear for her small little mind.

And yeah! I think that's everyone? Question mark? Well, that's everyone olive met! I think? I'll probably put this is the masterpost, and it'll probably change over time as well!

Last updated : Aug 4th, 2024

[pastaghostt]

Literally just Chuuya and Scaramouche:

Chuuya: Something as sophisticated as a heart wouldn’t suit me.

Scaramouche: Seems like a you problem, can’t relate. I’ve never met a ginger with a heart anyways, so it’s good to know that you’re self aware.

(Also Scaramouche: Once again.. I have lost my heart..)

Chuuya: Your hat is atrocious. It looks like an umbrella.

Scaramouche: Look who’s talking.

Scaramouche: *In front of the ocean hued clam domain.* This is where my mother betrayed me because I was too different from what she had envisioned me to be.

Chuuya: Same!! Sort of- (The situation and person who betrayed them are both very different, but I think they’d bond over it anyways.)

Scaramouche: The only friends i’ve ever had are dead.

Chuuya: First time?

Chuuya: I have to deal with my annoying ex-partner with a death wish regularly even though we’re on opposing sides now.

Scaramouche: Just erase yourself from existence, you’ll never have to see them again because they’ll forget you.

Scaramouche: *Is 5’3* You’re short as fuck.

Chuuya: I’m average height, the only reason you can’t tell that I’m taller is because of your giant hat. *Is also 5’3*

Chuuya: Yeah my boss is a doctor, I don’t know if he’s really qualified though, he traumatizes a lot of children regularly, but that’s pretty normal for the organization i’m from.

Scaramouche: Run while you still can, you will get cast away like dirt.

Scaramouche: I am not human, I’m a puppet, created to hold the power of a god.

Chuuya: I was created to contain a god that now resides inside of me, it brings me a lot of power, many people fear me.

Scaramouche: Sharing is caring.

Scaramouche: *Has an awful teenage mental breakdown haircut.* I should mention, I did not choose this.

Chuuya: *With an arguably less awful haircut that’s still atrocious.* Me neither.

Scaramouche: THAT PATHETIC WORM!! *compares people he dislikes to insects and bugs.*

Chuuya: THAT STUPID MACKEREL!! *compares Dazai to a fish.*

Scaramouche: *Very angy, but also very capable of being calm and collected. Despite that people always seem to think that he’s so unreasonable and has anger issues even though he’s actually very intelligent.*

Chuuya: *Angy, but only ever at Dazai. Is also very capable of being calm and collected, but people always seem to think he’s an idiot who has anger issues, even though he’s actually very smart and a reasonable person.*

Scaramouche: *Has a soft spot for the weak.*

Chuuya: *Has a soft spot for the weak.*

Scaramouche: *Canonically appears as a cat.*

Chuuya: *Canonically appears as a dog.*

[livingfast04]

Monster Au? - Part 2

part one II part three I’ll post a snort snippet of Part three when I get ready to post this on ao3, or I might post this as just a tumblr thing. I’m not sure yet, I have kind of an idea of what I want. but also not really. However I also don’t want to conflict with “An Untuned Piano” (which if you haven’t read before you should totally go and do that-) and this was just a little break for my messy brain.  TW for Vomit- and a little body horror- (this hardly scrapes the surface of the terrible, terrible ideas I have. My poor little Hurt No Comfort Brain is mean)  ---

Steve hated how much he identified with the creature, with Frankenstein’s Monster. It made his skin prickle, that was his threshold for, for relating to a character. A creature whose creator turned on him- a creature that kills every person who had the capability to love him, and then himself.

Even now, tucked against the couch watching his friends pile together, touching in some way. Steve felt sick to his stomach, knotted and messy. He wasn’t sure what to think. His belly ached, and he wasn’t even sure if it was rebelling food he couldn’t process or if he felt like an outsider in his own space.

After everything, after 83’, after the Junkyard, and the Tunnels- the Demo-dogs, after Russians and the mall. 

After Vecna. 

Of the kids getting attached to Eddie, Eddie who is a vampire- Eddie who only lived because of that fact. Came out of the bats almost completely unscarred, unscratched- with a mouthful of blood, and fear in his eyes. 

Steve envied that, the quick healing, the way Eddie bounced back faster than any of them really, right next to Max and her single broken arm. The wolf sleeping in her bones pushing her further than Vecna could even dare to go.

Now they push into Steve’s space, into his house with little care for what Steve thinks. It’s their space, pack space, coven space. And Steve shouldn’t care because he’s human. Not wolf like Robin and Hopper, not Born-Witch like the Byers-Hopper Clan, not Made Witch like the Wheeler Siblings, not Dragon as the Sinclar siblings are, not Gremlin like Dustin or even remotely close to being a Vampire like Eddie- not, not- 

Steve was human, and it was just his house, and it shouldn’t matter if they want to stay in it for hours. It shouldn’t matter if Steve said no, if Steve didn’t want them there. It was their space now. He should enjoy having people in his house after being alone for so long- but the way they treat it, as if Steve’s the interloper.

It was driving him nuts. 

He couldn’t keep anything down, processed foods he wasn’t supposed to eat filled the tables- foods that Joyce cooked, or Hopper when he made breakfast. It was twisting around in his head, curling his stomach and turning it over.

It was his space, and he couldn’t mark it as his own. No, scratch that it was his father’s space. 

Why Hopper had no sway over him, why every forceful remark from Nancy stung. Steve wasn’t a part of whatever kind of pack had collected in his living room. He wasn’t allowed to be, not until he had his Father’s permission, or they recognized him as a part of it. 

And they hadn’t.

They probably never would. Not with the way they all seemed to dislike that Steve was even around half the time. But it’s fine, it’s okay. His skin crawls, all the perfect edges, the ones that he shapes, molds, covers up how bad the scars around his neck actually look, about how his stomach isn’t fully healed. His skin is struggling to stitch itself back together with the lack of proper care. 

Steve’s missing chunks, muscle, skin, fat- his body moves and changes. There’s limits, and caring for himself as he’s supposed to is hard when he’s supposed to wear human skin. He’s not supposed to wear it for one- he can’t heal like this. 

So all imperfections are covered, hidden away. Bites his tongue and hopes he can keep down whatever processed meal he’s eaten. Avoid Eddie’s imploring Vampire snitching gaze every time he tears a stitch. 

His stomach knotted painfully another time. And Steve was on his feet, don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic- It wasn’t discomfort this time, not with the saliva pooled on his tongue. He stumbled slightly, bile rising in his throat. His head spun as he stood, and his knees threatened to buckle-

---

Eddie watched with sharp eyes as Steve stood from his place on the couch, part of him wanted to coo, call out the other to join the pile. Curl around him and remind everyone that Steve was Eddie’s.

He worked his jaw as the younger boy shuffled out of the living room and down the hallway to the bathroom. Eddie’s sharper ears heard the sink turn on almost as soon as The door shut, which was unusual. Eddie twitched, disturbing Dustin who was sprawled across him.

Under the sound of water running was the sound of retching. Eddie’s face screwed up in sympathy. Oh damn, how long had Steve sat there feeling bad? How did Eddie not notice? Over everything, all the little things. With the way anxiety made Steve’s pulse beat far to fast- 

Eddie tapped Dustin’s side “Up.”

Dustin grumbled, a long drawn out why, as he wiggled around for a moment, but ultimately flopped off Eddie. Right on to Mike who let out a groan at the sudden impact to his ribs. Eddie ruffled his curls, pushing the boy's head around a little bit.

“Going to go check on Harrington.” Interrupting bonding time, the displeasure was loud in the air, but Eddie could hear Steve’s heart kick, thumping anxiously. And he couldn’t just leave it. Not with the way he’d watched the boy slightly stumble before all but bolting for the open bathroom door.

Not with how in tune he had accidentally become of the human. “He’s just in the bathroom-“ Nancy’s voice was rough, half asleep from where she was tucked between Robin and Jonathan. Eddie looked over the gathered group with raised eyebrows. He knows that some of them probably could hear Steve over the water running.

Eddie snorted, a little bit of a bitter sound. “Yeah Puking.” That startled Robin who jerked up right. Her ears weren’t completely useless like this, but there was a small chance that she wasn’t used to recognizing Steve as much anymore. The human had pulled back some from the group, Robin had been almost inconsolable for over two weeks over it. 

That she couldn’t recognize his footsteps, or his breathing patterns. That Steve was hardly around outside of work anymore, and it was devastating. They’d been bonded, they were bonded, a pair. Eddie had been sympathetic, but he remembers asking if she’d even talked to Steve about it.

Nancy had been more vocal in her displeasure for Steve’s actions. Eddie wanted to ask them if they knew that Steve smelled like blood, and healing. As if there wasn’t a clotting heavy smell of skin stitching itself back together. Maybe Steve was retreating because he was hurting, and uncomfortable. 

That the smell of blood wasn’t going away and it was making Eddie anxious.

“I’ve got him, Buckley. Lay back down.” Eddie moved around the pile of sleepy bodies, eyeing the adults in the kitchen as he passed, and then paused in front of the bathroom door. His feet quiet on the floor.

He tapped softly on the door, knocking his knuckles just slightly against the wood. The Retching hadn’t stopped, if anything the closer Eddie got he could hear just how painful it sounded. The smell of blood was underlying, and it set him on fire. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t. “Harrington? You alright?” The toilet flushed, not quite covering the gag that Steve made. Eddie knocked on the door again, leaning against the door frame.

“‘M fine, Ed’ie,” he didn’t sound fine. Eddie hummed under his breath.

“You don’t sound fine.” There was a pause, the water hadn’t stopped running, and Eddie was starting to get nervous. Steve’s pulse was jackrabbiting hard. “Can I come in?” He pressed his palm against the doorknob, the metal was frigid. Steve was quiet, and then Eddie hears another gag- and then what sounds like dry heaving. 

Fuck, okay- that’s, “I’m coming in Harrington.” Eddie pushes open the door, not locked- which is good, he really doesn’t want to break a door. The light isn’t even turned on, and it takes his eyes a minute to understand the difference. He steps fully into the space and shuts the door behind him.

Steve is hunched over the toilet, legs curled uncomfortably. “Go away Munson.” Eddie reaches out to turn the sink off, the handle squeaks. Before sinking down to sit on the small bathroom floor next to the other.

The smell of blood was thicker now that he was sharing the space. Eddie worked his jaw, pricking his lips slightly with his teeth. “Steve.” His voice is hard, and it draws wet hazel eyes to his face, they dart around slightly, before falling back to look at the toilet. “Are you bleeding?” Yes, Eddie knew this, could all but taste it, and it was making his skin crawl because it was wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Steve’s whole form shuttered, curling tighter around the toilet. He retches again, and doesn’t respond. The bathroom didn’t smell like healing, and the blood that comes with it. It smelled like distress, vomit, and blood.

Eddie reached out to touch Steve’s shoulder, his body curled away from the outstretched touch. His creature hissed low in his belly, angry at the rejection, Steve was his. God he hated imprinting on Humans.

But this didn’t feel like flinching away from Eddie because he was well, Eddie. But rather a curl away because he was uncomfortable and touch wouldn’t help. So Eddie pulled back. He could hear Steve’s heart jackrabbit, the anxiety heavy in the air. “What can I do to help?” 

“Go away.” Eddie blinked, well fuck you to then. He huffed, standing up, offense now filling his chest.

“You are literally vomiting in your toilet- and you want me to just leave?” Eddie lowered his eyebrows, looking at Steve’s shaking form with something close to a glare. Steve didn’t even bother to look up. 

“I didn’t ask for your help, just go back- to, to the living room, and the pile of people who don’t live in my fucking house.” Eddie jolted, echoed into the porcelain and muffled as it was, there was almost a growl to the tone, low and sharp. Maybe Steve was spending too much time around them. Eddie hissed, mind realizing Steve was claiming their space-

He jerked up to stand, “Fine then, suffer by yourself. And it’s your house, but it’s our space.” 

Steve’s body was shaking harder as Eddie turned to leave, hands curled around the toilet seat, holding onto it. “Fuck off Munson.”

Eddie slammed the door behind him. Chest heaving, his whole body giving a hard shake, trying to rid himself of the smell of blood. He wandered back into the living room, flopped down in his spot, and curled around Dustin. “Eddie?” 

Robin’s voice was hesitant, he lifted his face slightly to look at her, “You okay?” Was Steve okay? She was anxious, that was telling from the way she was clinging to Max who had burrowed into her side. 

“Fine.” He bites it out, the word feels too sharp, but he was hot, and angry. 

He can hear Steve leaves the bathroom maybe 20 minutes later, and he goes upstairs instead of coming back to the living room. Maybe it’s for the better.

---

[minjix]

trouble→ jj maybank x kook!reader

requested! Hey! Can i request for jj? I'm back to my jj era but there's so little fics of him, and most of them are smut, and i want some angst with fluff too ya know!!!!

Anyway, I'd like some season 1 vibes, so could we have kook!reader helping the pogues to steal that water drone thing (dont remember what that was) and she runs with jj when the dog follows them and then you get the rest

I really just need more jj 😭

summary: in which you’re a troubled kook.

a/n: i gotchu <333 also I made the group split up simply to get more jj x reader time :))) love this request btw <333

warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse and criminal activity, also went of script cause this bitch was too lazy to pull up the actual scene :) also didn’t want to exaggerate the fluff, but I can easily write a part two if requested :)

masterlist:

You stood waiting by your car, waiting for the pogues to turn up. You had been relaxing at home when Kie had texted you, asking for a favor.

And out of boredom; you agreed.

So there you were, leaning on your car, waiting for the group to turn up, and they did with a pissed of JJ Maybank.

“What are they doing here?” He glared at you, his heated gaze locked onto yours. You knew who boy was, heck, everyone knew of him. He kept to his friend group and his dad was an abusive asshole.

You weren’t phased, being quite used to not being liked despite being a kook. You parents and teachers called you a troubled teenager, and you wholeheartedly agreed. You got into fights, and you were quite known for stealing shit and getting away with it, which why Kie needed you.

“Hello to you too, Maybank.” You smiled at him, taking step closer to the hesitant group.

“We need them.” Kie said, looking at the three unsatisfied boys. “They’re good at being sneaky.”

The blonde haired boy never took his eyes off you, “they’re a kook Kie.” He spat venomously.

You could take being disliked but being on display in front a group of people who hates you simply because of where you’re from made a lump grow in your throat.

You turned to Kie, fidgeting with your fingers, “maybe I should leave,” you trailed of, walking backwards to your car.

“No! We are going to do this,” she glared at her friends, “or I swear to god.”

Pope sighed and slapped Jj’s arm to get him to stop glaring at you. “Kie’s right man.”

And that’s how you found yourself trailing next to pissed of Maybank.

“Have I done something?” You hesitated to ask, the tension thick. He ignored you. You sighed. “Okay, look,” you grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Can you be more mature? I haven’t done shit to you or your friends,” you glared at him. He was quiet for a few seconds, and a sarcastic chuckle came from the blonde haired boy.

“You’re a kook, that’s enough reason for me.”

You snorted, a bit relieved actually. “That’s it?” A smile grew on your face. It made JJ confused. You continued, “it’s just, nobody really likes me, with reason of course, I’m an outcast I guess, and i thought it would be different when Kie needed my help, because I’m the last person people choose to trust.”

“Why?” He whispered his blue eyes softening after your rambling. You shrugged your shoulders. “I do shitty things, I steal and break things, I fight people when I’ve had too much to drink.”

The blonde haired boy laughed as you both started to walk slowly. “You’re a kook and you steal?”

You laughed yourself, “yeah, can’t help it.”

He gave you smile, “you sound like a pogue.”

That’s win, you thought to yourself. Your took a quick glance at his lips and immediately looking away, your face warm.

You laughed, “yeah, I guess that’s why the ‘kooks’ don’t like me.”

His smile was still present, growing more relaxed by the second, “welcome to our side.”

Not even a second later you both heard barking, ensued by Pope yelling out in fear. The blonde boy beside you immediately took of into a sprint with you running after.

You grabbed Maybank once again, almost letting go when your hand latched onto his instead of his forearm. And the dog made its appearance. It skidded around the corner, it’s eyes set on you and JJ.

“Shit!” You shrieked and pulled JJ away from the animal who’s drool was dripping onto the sandy ground.

It felt like you had been running for years when the blonde haired boy made you stop. He immediately pushed you towards a ladder, connected to a boat, urging you up first.

You both collapsed on the deck, breathing heavily all while the dog below kept barking. And then a man’s voice and you swore you heart leapt out of your chest in fear.

JJ heard your breathing quicken and slapped his hand over your mouth to both help and silence you.

“I know you’re there!” The man yelled over barking and you took it as a sign to remove JJ’s hand. “If I get arrested again, they’ll send me to juvenile detention” you eyes, wide with panic was stuck on his blue ones, less panicked as he thought of what to do. “Do you trust me?” He asked in a whisper.

Your face scrunched up involuntarily, “trust you? Dude, I barely know you.” He chuckled, nodded his head in agreement, “yeah, I know, but for now, do you trust me?” It was quiet as you thought it over. It was well know that JJ Maybank was loyal, no doubt about it. “Yeah, I trust you.”

He gave you a smile which turned forced as he stood up, his hand grasping yours, and you found yourself trying to force him back down before you realized that this was the moment where you put your trust in him.

You both stood, and JJ let you go to raise his hand in surrender. “I’m Luke’s kid!” The guard below became quiet as stared up at you two. “He said he’d beat me if I didn’t get shit for him. He’s still pissed that he got fired.” You stared at the boy beside, who’s hand once again connected with yours, giving a squeeze.

You watched as he sniffled and his eyes turning red. You found yourself frozen in shock. Kie never went into the reason of why she needed your help and you felt an ache in your chest when you thought about this being the reason. The tears that rushed down the flushed face of Maybank told no other story. He was being serious.

The security guard looked emotional too as he sighed, “it’s okay kid, come on down.” JJ helped you down, his hand immediately grasping yours while the other wiped the onslaught of tears rushing down his face. “Thank you,” He sniffled, your eyes now staring on the ground, not knowing what to do. You felt helpless and you hated it.

“Now leave.” JJ thanked the man once again and quickly dragged you away, still wiping his tears. And then he smiled.

“What the fuck.” He glanced your way, looking way too smug but the look in his eyes said something different. He wasn’t exaggerating.

“And that, Y/n is how you lie.” And despite the emotions rushing through your head in a dizzying pace, you found yourself smiling too.

You all gathered by Kie’ van, having successfully stolen the drone for whatever the group needed it for.

You stood, watching them as they all jumped into the van before JJ peaked his head out, “you coming?” He smiled at you, and you found yourself in the van with no questions asked, simply satisfied to be included even though you knew it was only for the moment, when they needed you.

JJ sat beside you with a grin, his hand once again making its way to interlace itself with yours, and you couldn’t help matching his grin.

“Wanna help us steal 400 million dollars?” The blonde boy asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Seriously?” You look around to the van to see everyone nodding, “you may be a kook, but you’re trust worthy,” John B said and you watched as they all nodded along.

“Then, count me in.”

[sapphosdickandballs]

Two can Play your game, friend. And I choose to play on a ground most familiar to you. Let me challenge you.

Red (TIHYLTTW). Blue (TIHYLTTW) (be mindful of spoilers ig). And for some others, because these will be rather short-

Masha (toh)

Janis (mean girls)

Signed,

Yours truly,

-kiekebe

Lmao okay

4 reference

Red-

I don’t like her as much as blue but I do think her letters are very like. They’re catching. I want to talk with her for hours and see what she has to say, what her mind spins up. She’s captivating.

Blue. Likewise for Blue, she gets shipped with Red. The only ship that matters. Purple ftw

Er. Are there even other characters lmao? There’s garden and commandant but screw both of them. Uhhhh idk. No answer for this one ig

I haven’t interacted with fandom much for TIHYLTTW but ig I’d say she should’ve known that Blue was gonna do what she did. I mean I knew it and I’m a dumb bitch. Like I feel like she should’ve expected that. Maybe she did cause she wrote the letter but clearly not enough to do anything about it. Tho what would she have done? Idk.

Literally cannot answer this one publicly if you want me to avoid spoilers lmao o7

Blue -

She’s so eiaijosoekskfkwj got me barking like a dog istg. That’s. Yeah. Need her to say some of the things she says to red to me cause like damn. Lemme think w my head for a second tho uh I do think she’s simultaneously a dumbass for what she did and also very brave. Very thin line between stupid and brave I fear.

Okay onto the ones I can actually talk ab in detail

Masha -

Fantastic character who was ROBBED. They deserved an hour more scenes and a spin off cause they were ROBBED. I think they’re great I also think if you make a character nonbinary I automatically love them (blowing kisses at raine)

Vee! Veesha is the goat absolutely.

I feel like them and luz would’ve gotten along great. I can’t remember, did they really interact much? I don’t think so. So I’m going off vibes

I feel like they recognized vee when they saw her come in to the shop they just didn’t say anything. Basing this off vibes and nothing else (or maybe I saw a mark comic about it)

Veesha, ofc. Want it to be canon, wanted a season just about them, etc. Fuck Disney

Janis (2004 one)

Hooboy. Okay guys. Pls don’t hurt me 4 this one. I’m not a big fan of her in the 2004 movie. I really think she’s a dick. Which everyone knows. But I think she also doesn’t really redeem herself in my eyes? Like idk I just wasn’t a big fan. Is she an icon? Yes. Do I like her? No

Literally her and Regina I fear. They can be toxic together ❤️

Her and Damian are incredible he makes her more likeable 4 sure (ily king)

I don’t ship her and cady. I just don’t see it idk why. Also the aforementioned dislike of her

Consequences for her fucking actions

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

For the ask game:

Micah: 12, 22

John: 6, 8

Oh boy!!

Micah

12- What's a headcanon you have for this character?:

Far too many. I have the bad habit of only giving interesting headcanons to my comfort characters.

A half baked headcanon I have in mind is that Micah doesn’t like dogs because his father would use the threat of being eaten by dogs to whip Micah and Amos into obedience, especially if the kids ever tired on long stretches of walking and fell behind. If Micah Bell Jr ever found a guard dog, he would shove Micah precariously close to the dog, maybe even walk Micah to the perimeter of where the dog’s leash ends so the dog will be barking and snarling a foot away from the kid.

Micah stomachs most of his fear of dogs, coming off as him being an asshole and not liking dogs to look aloof. He will yelp and get away if a dog suddenly gets in his space or barks.

22- If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?:

Woof this is a tough one. I am pretty happy with any fan fic with Micah. I have yet to read a LOT a lot of fan fics on ao3. I’ve read a few on Tumblr (the yn x Micah kind of fics).

I really like when writers accept / lean into Micah being an imperfect, unsexy, sexy man. @amrass is really good at nailing what I mean. He is a bad man! He is fat! He is unhygienic! He is old for the era! He is contradictory and sly! He is somehow a sex god yet also shy as incompetent as a virgin when it comes to genuine flirting! He slouches! I love him for all his flaws and love it when writers find a way to incorporate them instead of brushing them under the rug to make him more conventionally attractive.

John

6- What's something you have in common with this character?

!!!! Hm. I suppose it is being the “middle sibling” , having a parent who loses your trust, and “golden child” feeling.

John and Arthur have always been compared to one another (no matter how much Dutch or Hosea would deny it). Arthur will always be more accomplished because he is older. That is how I feel with my older sibling. I used to be the eldest sibling and I used to be the accomplished golden child (I still am. I still get all A’s) but with me being an adult, I am now expected to reach all these milestone and suddenly have my shit together. John is much the same, being in his 20’s and being forced to be a family man and a pillar of his gang. him disappearing from the gang was bad and foolish, but some days wish I could do the same thing. John gradually becoming disillusioned with Dutch too. This might be more fitting of Arthur, but I was raised so much by my biological mother that I struggled to see her without rose tinted glasses. It was only after she was in the hospital / died that I was able to live without her in my life and unpack what she did. It helped me realize how neglectful and emotionally abusive she was to me and my sibling. Me and John, I think we both had a realization during our long absences.

8- What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I don’t know. I haven’t been around the fandom (rdr1 and 2) long enough to get an idea of the ins and outs of how characters are treated. From what I can tell, John is treated like a troubled rascal of a man. I feel most interpretations are faithful to the material and have value.

If I had to grab at sticks and pick something to say “this. This is what I dislike,” then I’ll say it is when John is infantalizing in Morston media. Infantilizing characters is my biggest pet peeve in fandoms. John is an adult and much of his story is about maturing. I especially hate when it is used in Morston media because it presses on a bruise when it comes to the fetishization of gay men. Strong dom / sub gay stuff where one guy is treated like an incompetent shy virgin while the other is a buff sexy sex machine makes me frown. It’s mainly just boring to interact with.

Very very few things actually go as extreme as I make it out to be. Most Morston media is fine (I assume). I’m making a strawman loosely inspired by read stuff I’ve interacted with in the past.

[thetavolution]

I'm bringing my Tav-related stuff over here to not overload my regular tumblr haha.

First up is Tessa! More info:

I did borrow a lot of this profile layout from elfinbloodbag.

TESSA

Full name: Theresa Siân Chastain Name meaning:  Theresa: late summer; Siân: God is gracious; Chastain: chestnut Pronouns: She/Her  Race: Human Age: 35 Orientation: Pansexual Romance: Gale Dekarios Class: Rogue Monk Subclass: Thief / Way of the Open Hand Origin: Criminal  Theme song:  I Deserve to Bleed — Sushi Soucy / Used To Be Young — Miley Cyrus

Personality Despite being a professional thief, Tessa is a kind-hearted person. She always overflowing with joyful enthusiasm. Tessa is outgoing and funny. She’s the "mom friend" even if she hates it when people say that. She’s the one who takes care of everybody and tends to them physically and emotionally. Some say she missed her calling as a cleric.

She has a big heart and it’s easy to take advantage of it, especially with a good enough sob story. She has a good-natured sense of humor, but she's not averse to dark humor either. When she’s angry or hurt, or just talking to someone she hates, she can be particularly cold and scathing.

Tessa is far from morally perfect, of course. She’s made peace with stealing, focusing on targets that “deserve” it. That said, she doesn't believe in hoarding wealth. She keeps what she needs (with some left over as a little treat) and spreads the rest of it around to those who might need it.

She can get stuck on things, like an idea or desire. She'll become obsessed with it and remain laser focused on it to a fault.

Once you’re in her good graces, she is ride or die. While intelligent, she can be impulsive. She’ll realize how stupid her actions were after it’s too late to take it back. Going back to her motherly tendencies, she can also go full mama bear when loved ones are threatened.

She’s a romantic at heart and she’s looking for true love. Unfortunately, due to being so eager to find love, she’s jumped into some terrible relationships. Those closest to her will often acknowledge (or joke about) the fact that she overlooks a lot of red flags in the early stages of a relationship. (For Tom Cardy fans, she would be the one to date the person whose favorite film is Human Centipede.)

In her younger years, she was much more of a wild child which often comes back to bite her, especially when former lovers and enemies reappear in her life.

History Tessa was born in Bryn Shander, the largest of the Ten Towns in Icewind Dale. She and her twin brother, Leander, are the youngest of Edgard and Sibyl Chastain's six children. She’s technically the youngest since she was born five minutes after Leander. 

Tessa was raised from birth to be a proficient thief. Her father, Edgard, is a renowned member of the Zhentarim. They mostly focus on stealing and smuggling. Tessa grew up learning to live life in the underbelly of the city. She never knew anything else, even though she always wished she could have the life of a “normal girl.”

She came to Baldur's Gate with her father on Zhentarim business when she was abducted and infected with a tadpole. It was their first time in the city, so the Chastains aren't a familiar face to the local Zhentarim members.

Likes: The thrill of stealing, fighting, helping people, taking care of the poor and the sick, reading, writing, animals (especially dogs/wolves), nighttime, rainy mornings, adventuring, music, and cold weather

Dislikes: Hot weather, hurting good people, nobility/the wealthy, bugs, abuses of power, and cruelty 

Fears: She’s afraid of ending up alone. She’s also afraid she deserves to be alone. She questions if she’s actually a good person on an almost daily basis. She's terrified of growing older and having a life full of regrets. She feels as thought a lot of it has already passed her by.

Quirks: I don’t know if this counts as a quirk, but her left hand is her dominant hand. She likes to tap her foot like a rabbit, even when she isn’t nervous. People often mistake it for a nervous tick. It’s just something she’s always done. She has a loud laugh that she’s insecure about.

Mental Health: Tessa has daddy issues. Her father takes advantage of her and she’s desperate to earn his approval. She ties her self-worth to other people’s opinion of her. She often falls for terrible people because she’s so desperate to be loved. Her father never really showed her what it’s like to be properly cared for, and it shows. She doesn't even realize how bad her self-esteem is.

Favorite Foods: Sun-Dappled Paella and Cranberry Cake

Favorite Drinks: Tea and Brandy

Favorite Flower: Roses

Height:  5’7”/173 cm 

Skin: Beige.

Hair:  Brown but with a slight ginger tint.

Eyes:  Green.

Color Scheme:  Generally, she wears whatever lets her hide in her environment. She wears a lot of blacks, greens, and browns. Back in her hometown, it’s not unusual for her to don white colors to blend into the snow.

When she’s dressing just for herself, she’ll wear blues and greens.

Fashion Sense: She’s mostly practical when it comes to her clothing. As a thief, she can’t really afford to be too gaudy or flashy. Everything she wears has a specific purpose. She is usually hiding behind the Shadow of Menzoberranzan cowl.

In the rare occasions she can dress for the sake of looking nice, she does like to wear intricate gowns. If you’re going to be a criminal, why not enjoy the fruits of your labor and have a nice dress or two?

She does have tattoos, including a rose tattoo on the left side of her neck.

Family: 

Blue — 5. He’s Tessa’s pet winter wolf. He’s intelligent and cunning. He was orphaned by a hunter as a pup before Tessa found and adopted him. Her love and care led to him to be a big teddy bear of a wolf. He's back in Bryn Shander.

Edgard Chastain — 60. Edgard is Tessa’s father and the one who led the entire family down the path of crime. He’s a charismatic guy, but he has his struggles and insecurities. He is plagued by self-loathing and depression, often acting on his worse impulses.

He wants to be liked, but he also wants to be feared as a criminal, putting him in conflict with himself. He can be selfish and self-serving, leading him to betray his loved ones or hurt them deeply. He’s corrupted his relationships with his ex-wife and children over the years. Tessa is desperate to believe he'll change.

Sibyl Lisette Chastain — 60. Sibyl is Edgard’s ex-wife and the mother of Tessa and her brothers. After Edgard cheated on her, she left him. It’s clear Tessa takes after her mother. Sibyl is cheerful, optimistic, and excited to live life. She’s heartbroken when her children repeat Edgard’s mistakes and she can’t stop it from happening. 

She had dreams of becoming a writer, but she fell in love with Edgard when they were both 17. Within months of dating, Sibyl became pregnant. After that, Sibyl became a criminal, losing the ability to pursue her dream career. She continues to write even if she never shares it with anyone.

Conrad Chastain — 40. He’s the eldest Chastain child. He has a somewhat normal life. While he does work in the black market, he has a loving wife and two children. He’s a loving father, calm, and level-headed, but he has a very dad sense of humor.

Flynn Chastain — 38. Flynn is the flirtatious brother and he has several lovers. It’s also likely he has bastard children out in the world he’s never met. 

Gavin Chastain — 37. He’s intelligent, but irresponsible and self-sabotaging. He fears being rejected and failing, so he engages in self-destructive behavior.

Emile Chastain — 36. He’s the quiet Chastain child. He’s not happy with his lot in life, but he doesn’t complain. He always wants to do the right thing, but he’s often scared to say anything that goes “against the family.”

Leander Chastain — 35. He’s Tessa’s twin. He and Tessa grew apart as they became adults. He’s a bard rogue who loves music. Leander is repeating a lot of his father’s mistakes, even if he thinks of himself as better than Edgard. He’s a great thief, but he’s been burning his own bridges and fighting his own demons. He’s a charismatic social butterfly. He hides his demons from Tessa and the rest of his family.

Marta Chastain — 39. She’s Conrad’s loving and doting wife. She works a normal job, keeping the family with one foot in respectable society. She’s a teacher and hides the fact she’s married to a criminal.

Tem Chastain — 11. Tem is Conrad and Marta’s oldest child. He’s a silly and goofy kid who has no idea his father is a thief.

Kara Chastain — 8. Kara is Conrad and Marta’s youngest. She’s a sweet little girl with a mischievous streak.

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

I’m gonna be completely and utterly biased when I say that I am 100% a Tori defender. Yep, I said it and I’m gonna stand with it. Listen, do I think it’s wrong that he just assumed the worst about Persephone around the time and spread rumors about her? Yeah 100% I don’t support him with that he’s on his own there, but what I mean by defending him is really understanding why he assumed so much in the first place. I get where he’s coming from besides the rumors.

Basically, we all know about LO and it’s constant harassment and disregard for employees/workers. There’s multiple times in this comic where a god has used their title to intimidate and even insult beings who “stand in their way” or become an obstacle for them. The way everyone lets it slide is kinda disheartening for me because it feels like what happens in real life too, hard working employees of various stores, restaurants, retail centers, etc. get either harassed, berated, insulted, and even mistreated on the job either by their employers or the customers themselves. This is literally JUST like how LO treats people who work middle class and I’m only saying middle class because that’s the dynamic that LO itself has set up for its world.

Knowing this though, you can also see why there’s some gods (Hera, Hades, Aphrodite, etc) who think lowly of the nymphs and other beings who are forced to work for them and be at their every call. I’m not saying all nymphs and other mythical beings are just plain workers obviously but the ones who are seem to always get overlooked or verbally abused or insulted by those they have to serve. The gods I’ve named have the nerve and absolute gaul to really talk so much incredible shit about these beings almost all the time and interact with them with such terrible intent, it’s genuinely angering how they just blatantly mistreat them and Rachel herself continues to use these themes and implicate them with every single interaction we see between them. I understand that they’re gods and the beings are not but you do not get respect with fear and I know that Rachel is probably trying to show us how respected the gods are but this honestly isn’t the best way to go for me personally.

But again, knowing how the gods treat beings like Tori on the daily it makes sense that he believed that Persephone was also someone just like them. She was around Hades and I’m pretty sure everyone knows of his terrible behavior and inappropriate work ethic so he probably believed that she reflected things such as that. That’s really all I excuse him for because I know he was doing his job but the rumors were completely unnecessary and mean spirited.

I wish though, instead of Hades impulsively pulling out his eye and being creepy and possessive. I say this because around the time he did that she was still his employee and they barely hit the talking stage, it’s weird that he got so attached and obsessive with her without actually knowing her that well and stuff like that is not healthy having someone literally almost kill for you even though you’ve known them for a couple of days shouldn’t be something we romanticize or even want in our lives. But instead of Hades making a life changing decision for Persephone I would’ve much rather either a conversation between them that led to him taking the newspapers down or Persephone handle it her own way. It’s unnecessary that Hades feels the need to do everything for Persephone, it’s not exactly showing that he respects her opinion or judgement.

But this whole exchange really rubbed me the wrong way and made me really dislike Persephone even more. Technically you’ve got your revenge and at the hospital I guess you already made amends of some sort, no need to literally drag a dead dog on a leash just do the account stuff and leave. I know this was her best attempt at standing up for herself and all but really it just makes me roll my eyes because for so long she never had half of the balls to say anything to any of the gods who’ve wronged her in a real way. Persephone always seems to do this thing where she unleashes hell to someone who’s already suffering and plays the victim, she never lashes out on anyone who genuinely deserves it and she basically turns a blind eye to them. She only punishes those she doesn’t think are worthy of her forgiveness even when there’s so many people she keeps around her who deserve it far more, those people are just used as jokes and gags but let a nymph or any being talk bad about Persephone and she’ll literally ruin their life.

All I’m saying is that if she can harass Tori at his work and intimidate him, I better see absolute fucking hellfire to anyone, and I mean anyone who does something worse. Because I’m tired of this shift of energy to some characters and not to others, it doesn’t make her seem like she’s badass just sorta like a cowardly bully in my eyes.

[cambria-writes]

it certainly is december 24th! sorry for taking so long to update; i’ve been in a writing slump for a few weeks, and though the next few chapters of honey are already written, i just. completely forgot about them?

anyways i’ll be posting a nice lil winter/holiday special later today or tomorrow, depending on how i feel. for now at least you have the next chapter!

pairing: patrick jane x reader word count: 2,852 rating: T, each chapter rated individually warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, reader goes a bit heavy on the wine lmao, implied homophobia

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓: 𝔐𝔦𝔵𝔢𝔯

It’s simple enough: have a nice dinner, get drunk (or, at least, look very drunk), approach the broody paranoid-looking rich boy, get him to follow you...

And then it gets a little vague.

“You’re still worrying about it,” Jane comments, sipping at the same glass of wine he had twenty minutes ago.

“Whatever gave it away, darling?” The smile almost hurts your face. It’s a struggle to keep your voice just this side of sickly-sweet. Jane gives you a toothy grin that nearly makes you shiver. The resemblance to a starving fox isn’t lost on you.

“Just use your womanly wiles. You’ll be fine, you’re not at all hard on the eyes.”

He takes a careful sip of his wine while you nearly spit out the mouthful of salad you’re trying to choke down. You can feel the burn spread from your face to your chest. You hate it.

“Don’t do that,” you mutter, washing everything down by finishing whatever wine was left. You wave down your waiter; you’re far too sober for any of this. You ask for a cocktail; you don’t care what it is as long as it’s sweet and strong. The waiter gives you a look but walks off to a small bar somewhere off to your left.

“Do what?,” Jane asks, and you hate the innocence in his tone. Everything about you says what.

“Fli-flirt with me,” you whisper, stabbing the remains of your salad with more vigor than necessary. You keep your eyes down. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Ah, but you don’t dislike it.” The victory is his voice makes you want to scream. You look up at him incredulously. There’s a retort, but it dies on your tongue when the waiter drops a crystal blue highball glass in front of you.

He rattles off its name and contents but you don’t care. Chug half of it in one go and finish your salad. You can feel the alcohol singing in your veins like fire. You raise your hand to down the rest of it, but... stop.

Sharpen your fear into a knife. That means you need fear to sharpen. Though arguably you are slightly inebriated, you are still a good, healthy measure of terrified. You’re in a restaurant too nice for your bank account. You’re sitting with a man you hardly know pretending to be his newly wed wife despite the fact that his actual wife is Very Dead. You’re expected to approach the handsome and paranoid son of a Russian mob boss like you have no idea who he is.

And you got shot at for knowing a dog a few days ago. Terrified probably doesn’t actually cut it.

The more you think about it, the more paralyzed you feel yourself become. Jane places a hand over your glass and forces you to lower your arm. The look he gives you is confusing.

“All you need to do,” Jane begins quietly. He never breaks eye contact. Somehow that unnerves and challenges you to do the same. “Is bring him to an empty table and talk to him. See the most you can in him.”

You notice that he noticeably doesn’t remove him hand from yours in a noticeable way. You start to think maybe you drank too fast.

“...I can do that,” you say slowly, losing track of the words as they exit your mouth. Your resolve doesn’t solidify so much as it coagulates. You look back to the paranoid brooding man by the window. Look back to Jane.

This’ll be fine. You’re technically single. You’re playing house with a handsome not-detective. And you’re closer to drunk than you’ve been in a while.

It’s fine.

There’s an extra sway to your hips as you make your way to the Window Man. His family eyes you cautiously but otherwise say or do nothing. You’d sigh if you had the presence of mind to. As it is, you feel nervous and flushed and a little bit breathless. You look over your shoulder to Jane, whose face displays everything from “look at my beautiful wife” to “look at all these sheep thinking there isn’t a wolf in their midst”. You swallow the bubbling giggles rising in your throat.

You stop a few feet away from Mr Brooding and lean forward to the side a little. Thank your stars you chose to wear the dress that shows at least a little cleavage. You don't touch him, and firmly hold your hands behind your back.

"Excuse me..?," you ask tentatively, and almost jump out of your skin when your target does. He whips around to glare daggers at you. Until he isn't, and his eyes follow your dress' straps down your neckline. Could use more class, but it's all whatever at this point.

"Wha—,” The man starts, but his voice sounds choked. Clears his throat and starts again. “What do you want?”

Can’t help but notice that most of the tension has left his shoulders. Was it really as easy as playing the part of the drunk bimbo?

“Sorry, gosh, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Place a hand low on your chest for emphasis and lean back on your heels. Ignore the slowly growing soreness in your feet. “My name’s Magda Wi—ah, Stephens!” Pretend to forget that your maiden name is gone. Seems to work; Brooding Man doesn’t seem to catch it.

The fake names roll off your tongue better with the alcohol. At least you hope; sounding believable while drunk is hard. How were you expected to ace this, again?

Brooding Man still eyes you suspiciously. You look over your shoulder and wiggle your fingers at Jane. He wiggles his fingers back at you. He makes a good show of looking far more inebriated than you know he is.

Turn back to the man in front of you with a dumb, apologetic grin on your face.

“Truth is, we just got married right? But I’ve always been kind of wild, you know, and he lets me get really crazy, bless than idiot, but—I’m sorry, geez, I’m rambling. Do you mind if we sit down? The wine’s getting to my head a bit but I really hope you can hear me out. Please?”

Clasping your hands right under your chest seems to work a charm; Brooding Man can’t help but look back down before looking back up at your face. Your very flushed face. It’s a miracle the people of Singapore can’t hear how hard your heart is beating.

“Sure,” Brooding Man answer’s smoothly. His entire demeanor changes. He offers you his arm to guide you to one of the few empty tables. The wait staff give you a look. The Family give you a look. Jane looks on wordlessly but with the starved attention of a predator.

“My name’s James Madore.”

James—Jim, Jimmy, Jamie—takes to you like a fly to honey. He hangs after your every word like they’re gold as soon as you mention you and your “husband” are looking for a +1 to your first honeymoon night. You rattle off the name of a hotel Jane had given you, and James seems pleasantly satisfied. Must be high-end, then. Not like you’d know.

You talk about yourself like the most self-absorbed, vapid girl on the planet. Your work in PR, you’re, like, so good with social media. You’ve worked with the Kardashians and Kanye and even Madonna for a little bit. You like the modest ring your husband have you because the chunky garbage is so overrated. You like indie music like it’s your lifeblood.

You make yourself sound like the worst hipster you’ve ever heard. And for whatever reason, it’s actually working. James is absolutely enthralled—both by whatever incoherent mess falls out of your mouth and by your cleavage.

You place a chilled hand over his on the table. He doesn’t flinch or pull away. He leans in closer. You’d almost be attracted to him if he wasn’t so, just. So arrogant.

“But geez, Jamie! You’re letting me do all the talking here!” Laugh like you’re pretending to be self conscious. You’re still not sober enough to know if you’re doing a good job of it. “What about you! What do you do? Is that your family over there? They look nice!”

They don’t look nice. When you wave at them, the older woman—presumably James’ mother—looks three seconds away from murdering you just for thinking about touching her son. Tough.

James tenses. Oh, that’s new.

Tilt your head to the side to feign ignorance rather than sudden intrigue.

“They’re alright,” James starts slowly, looking quickly over his shoulder before turning back to you. “Family business is rough though. My dad’s been trying to groom me to take over for years and my mom’s already decided who I’m supposed to marry. Can you believe that shit?”

A gasp. “Oh no! You’re kidding me! Seriously? Arranged marriages in this day and age?”

“Christ, right? It’s like they live in the 1700s!” James throws his head back in what looks like pure, unadulterated relief. You almost wish you could say you understand. When he bring his head back down, he looks... dismayed. You’d even say hopeless.

“Oh no,” you start, look around and lean in. Lower your voice. “You got your eyes on another girl?”

James looks stunned for a second, and then slowly shakes his head. You’re about to ask what, then, when it clicks.

Oh. Oh no. There’s a clear picture forming in your foggy mind and you’re not sure you like it. Force yourself you grin like a Cheshire Cat through your empathy and lean back in your chair.

“Well, if you don’t mind it, I’m sure you and my husband would get along just fine.”

James actually looks like he’s considering it for a minute. Looks back at his family—barely a fraction of a second—and then snatches his hand away from yours like it’s made of burning embers. Hide the confusion under a layer of what you hope is carefully crafted concern. You open your mouth to ask what’s wrong, or offer reassurances, but silence yourself when you see James’ hands. His fingers are nearly white from how hard he’s gripping he table.

“Look, no offence, I’m sure you’re some decent folk, but I’m not interested,” he says sharply. You can’t help yourself from grabbing at his sleeve as he gets up. Do your best to shake the wine from your head long enough to think before you speak.

“Please. I honestly started out just wanting to pick you up for a threesome—“ James’ face turns about five shades of crimson. “—but you seem like a good kid. I just—I want to help you. Even if it's just giving you a night to relax, no strings attached. Just one night of fun where you can forget who you are.”

James' face is impassive for a little bit, but you think you can see him considering the offer. Considering you, at the very least; his eyes are fixed on your face. It's a little unnerving, honestly. The more you watch him, though, the more he seems like he's faltering. And somehow, though your mission wasn't really to woo him or even reel him in, you find yourself determined to do something.

You catch yourself fidgeting with the pendant around your neck when the young man's eyes drift down to it. He has the decency to snap his gaze right back up to your face. Your hand wraps around the teardrop pendant—clear and blue—and move to take it off.

"How about this," you start carefully. "I'm kind of a fortune teller on the side sometimes. How about you ask some questions and I try and get some answers for you?"

Jane's grip on your hand is almost bruising as he pulls you along behind him. You don't really have the time to say anything. You don't really breathe, either. Your hand comes up to your bare neck. You kind of wish you hadn't dropped your pendant in Jane's haste to get you out. You kind of liked it.

"Quick, come on, get in," Jane orders calmly, but his tone betrays the set of his eyes. You swallow thickly. You don't even have time to buckle up before Jane tears out of the parking lot. Confusion, mild panic and inebriation make it impossible to actually tell and remember which direction he's heading towards.

"Okay," you breathe, finally snapping your seat belt in place. You let your head fall back and stare blankly at the car's roof. "Can you tell me exactly what just happened? Because I think I'm still too drunk to actually process."

Jane makes an ugly sound that's probably somewhere between choking and laughing. Great. Fantastic. This is absolutely not how you'd planned your evening and night to go.

"The Madore family's been linked to some pretty shady stuff for the past few years," he starts explaining. You vaguely notice that this is the first time he refuses to tear his eyes off the road while driving. You don't comment on it.

"James isn't so keen on following in his brothers' and father's footsteps. He's been trying to distance himself from the family business for a while now."

"Yeah, okay, makes sense that his family would seem like god damn flies in a soup then." Jane chuckles and continues.

"Exactly. They're trying everything to make sure James keeps the family business going, but he keeps sneaking right past them every other time. Like when he was spotted with a 'guy friend' at a bar last week."

You snort. "It's a dude in his twenties going to a bar with a friend, wha—," I cut myself off when I turn to look at Jane. While he's got half of a smirk plastered on his face, he looks... almost sad? Apologetic? "Oh.That kind of guy friend. The kind of guy friend who makes a man turn down a drunk girl propositioning him."

Jane laughs out loud and throws his head back. Your mind goes blank for a second; the column of his neck when he laughs is... You shake your head and shudder. Not entirely sure you like where you mind is wandering right now.

"Right, exactly. James hasn't been able to get a single minute to himself since that photographer caught them. Those pictures haven't been made public either, so you can guess what happened to the one who saw them." You make a face; yes, you can guess, and you would much rather not. "It's James' boyfriend who send me an email a few days ago to try and find out why he hasn't heard from James since their last date."

You make a sour face. The boyfriend has no idea, then? Who James Madore is? Did James lie about who he is? Or did it just never come up in conversation?

"Wait." You grab Jane's right arm in sudden realization. You don't mean to stun him the way you do but the way it makes him look at you makes your mouth go dry. The words get stuck in your throat. He's quick to look back at the road ahead.

"Yes?"

"I—you had asked me to—I never got him? To come back with us?" You're starting to think that maybe you aren't as drunk as you think and maybe there's something else entirely wrong with you. Your hand is still wrapped around Jane's elbow. You try desperately not to notice how his arm feels deceptively muscular.

"I didn’t, actually," he replies with a smirk. It almost makes you want to scream. “But don’t worry about it. I got what I needed from watching you.”

Oh come on, there has to have been a better way to word that. You can feel heat scorching your cheeks and neck. That's just not fair. You take your hand back like the contact with him burned you.

It probably did.

"Okay, so, what now then?" There has to be something else to be done after this, right? It can't just end with a single night of pseudo-investigation and being chased out by an angry mob family because you tried to touch their son's face after having answering a particularly sensitive question, right?

Jane shrugs like doesn't care. "I have some ideas, but it's not something you need to bother yourself with."

You let out an indignant scoff; all of this so you don't need to bother yourself with the end result?

"Beg your pardon, but what the fuck?"

"Language," Jane gasps, putting a hand to his chest in mock offence. When he turns to look at you and notices that your face still clearly displays shock and anger, he makes quick work of backtracking.

"I'm sorry, what I meant to say is that I have a backdoor for James if he wants one. There's just a lot of questionable paperwork and people involved, so..."

"Plausible deniability, huh? How kind of you," you mutter, shifting in your seat to rest your head against the window and watch the road go by.

The rest of the drive goes by in silence.

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

please comment to let me know if you’d like to be added!

@fucklife-or-me @yearningforsappho @mamacakeishereforfun @newavenger

[thatndginger]

OC Deep Dive Tag

thank you very much @pandoras-comment-box for the tag (their answers for the fantastic Cal and Finder here!)

Rules: answer the following questions for your OCs!

I used a random die roll to pick which character got to answer these, and apparently the universe really likes Warrick right now, because he's the winner~

What uncommon/common fear do they have? 

Warrick is scared of heights, and also of outer space. His reasoning for that last one is that it is a near-perfect vacuum devoid of anything except for bullshit fake-but-actually-not stuff called ‘dark matter’ and ‘dark energy’. Of course he should be scared! Also: aliens.

Do they have any pet peeves? 

For someone who doesn’t really care about germs, he really hates it when people don’t wash their hands before putting them anywhere near their mouths. Or any orifice, really.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? 

A duffel bag full of spraypaint cans. A poster for the “4th international motorcycle speed event” of 1964. A white, sheer silk shirt with a floral pattern.

What do they notice first in a person? 

Confidence, or lack thereof.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? 

For minor injuries 3/10. For major injuries 8/10. He’ll whine to hell and back about a stubbed toe, but will try to play off a dislocated joint like it’s no big deal.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? 

Usually flight, unless he’s been backed into a corner.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? 

Yes, because Warrick considers the Pack to be his family. There are roughly 20-30 people who consider themselves Pack (the numbers fluctuate some as people come and go) which is a big family. And while he’s kind of flighty and forgetful Warrick’s end goal is to make sure they’re safe.

What animal represents them best?

…. Well, he is a werecougar. But if I had to pick another animal, it’d be a labrador retriever: friendly, loyal, sometimes kind of dumb, and 10th most dangerous dog breed in the US statistically.

What is a smell that they dislike? 

Banana.

Have they broken any bones? 

Yup. He’s broken a couple toes and fingers, and once one of the bones in his tail while in cougar form.

How would a stranger likely describe them? 

Cute in a gangly goofball way, flamboyant, fantastic hair, a little spacey.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? 

Night Owl 100%. His preferred schedule is staying awake until 5am and sleeping until 2pm. Or later.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? 

Hate - sweet potato. Love - Fenugreek

Do they have any hobbies? 

Graffiti art, urban exploring, fleecing unsuspecting fools in games of pool.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? 

After he manages to restart his heart, Warrick is so fucking jazzed. People want to celebrate him? And they went to the trouble of planning a surprise party? This is the best thing to ever happen to him. Will try to pretend that this doesn’t make him want to cry happy tears, but is going to hug every single person in the room at least once and will be smiling like a loon the entire time.

Do they like to wear jewelry? 

Oh my god, yes. In addition to being a fashion disaster when it comes to clothes, Warrick loves accessorizing. He’s got a couple ear piercings and an eyebrow piercing that he’ll change out regularly, and always has some assortment of rings, bracelets, and necklaces. He doesn’t stick to one material either, so it’ll be a mix of gold, silver, leather, shell, or whatever else he’s found. It shouldn’t look good but somehow usually does.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? 

Messy. So messy. Which is hilarious considering his graffiti writing is usually very neat and stylized. But give him a pen and it devolves to chicken scratch.

What are the two emotions they feel the most? 

Excitement and boredom.

Do they have a favorite fabric? 

Silk. Followed closely by linen. He’s a fan of natural fibers.

What kind of accent do they have?

A generic American accent with a bit of that northwestern accent (saying egg like “aygg”, caught as “cot”, pawned as “pond”)

I shall gently tag @sliceoflifeshepard @aritany @half-hell @a-crystallen-author if y'all would like to rant about an oc or two!

Here is a handy list of the questions to make it easy for you:

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Do they have any pet peeves? What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? What do they notice first in a person? On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? What animal represents them best? What is a smell that they dislike? Have they broken any bones? How would a stranger likely describe them? Are they a night owl or a morning bird? What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Do they have any hobbies? Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Do they like to wear jewelry? Do they have neat or messy handwriting? What are the two emotions they feel the most? Do they have a favorite fabric? What kind of accent do they have?