#i do still drive sometimes for my own sanity

[analogboii]

today we were talking about the wackiest things we've gotten offered for tips when delivery driving. and i realized just how fucking wild some of mine are.

here's what ive been offered (whether or not i took them, you can guess lmao):

a 30 pack of natty lite

to be iced

some form of sexual favor

proposed to not once, not twice, BUT THREE DIFFERENT TIMES

weed

heroine

meth

a random shirt off someone's floor

a casserole their wife made them and they didn't like

shots

just straight up syringes

a cool pen

an entire bag of Halloween candy

teeth

bones????

a handful of sand

been serenaded

offered a role in their home made horror film

there's more but that's just all the ones I could recall lmfaooo

[keendaanmaa]

💿

[beefycupcakes]

I watched the Cars trilogy recently and with that came a wave of nostalgia and a strange desire to make my own designs for the cars as humans. Aka taking all the charm out of Cars but scratching the brain itch.

So, no need to drag out the intro any longer, I have some notes written out about em for those who might be interested or just bored.

Lightning McQueen:

I tried to make his suit look as professional as possible, with references pulled straight from McQueen's paint job/stickers, while also keeping in mind that I do intend to draw him more so I didn't want to go too crazy with the design. In a perfect world I would've let my maximalist cravings win, but alas let's keep it digestible for my sanity.

I feel like everyone's kinda on this unspoken agreement that McQueen as a human would pretty much look just like Owen Wilson, and that's the big picture here. I used Wilson as inspiration while tweaking and exaggerating a few things to my preference. (Okay, well not everyone, lmao.)

The chevron markings on the front cut off at the side seams not wrapping around the entire suit as to not clash with the sponsor logo on the back.

Also, he's wearing special gloves to help him grip & have control over the steering wheel. I think sometimes that looks a little weird when his sleeves are down & cuffed, but I just feel like he needs to have the gloves there— especially when he comes out of the top half of the suit. (It's also lowkey supposed to mirror his 4 tires when you consider his shoes are also black.)

So yeah, that's basically all I have to to say regarding Lightning McQueen's page. I feel like a lot of my design choices are self explanatory and, honestly probably shared universally... I mean, he's really cut & dry. (But I love him ⚡︎)

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Mater:

I'm not gonna lie, Mater was a bit challenging for me. I definitely had to step out of my comfort zone but I wanted to stay true to the character and not butcher anything.

My first thought was to give him a fishing pole to substitute for the tow hook— but then the more I was thinking about it, the more that felt so... out of place? Radiator Springs is in Arizona, which is (not entirely, but mostly depicted in the movie as) a desert. And even though there are beautiful bodies of water in Arizona, in the movie I don't recall seeing any prominent ones, at least in relation to Mater. So, scratch that, instead I gave him a lasso, which isn't supposed to entirely substitute for the tow truck— no, he still drives a tow truck, but the lasso is so he can grab people/things similarly to Tow Truck Mater (very cartoony). My explanation for this is the cattle ranch. Yeah, Mater is a tow truck driver but perhaps he has a side hustle, or hobby, if you will.

Also, I didn't want to make him... dirty(??) Like, yeah, of course, Mater would obviously get a bit filthy from time to time, it's just in his nature, but that is NOT going to be the core of my design. In regards to the rust happening on him, I felt like instead I would substitute this with being very tan. Again, Arizona is a desert. Because of this, he would take off his shirt often, and this would substitute for the missing hood like on Tow Truck Mater. The removal of the shirt also reveals just how tan Mater actually is.

It's his uniformed overalls that have his original aqua color, but from years of wear & tear they've been patched up with brown patches, this would also reference the rusting. The one strap is supposed to mimic the one headlight being broken, and I know that's a stretch, believe me, I wanted to do something with his eyes but eyes are not the headlights in the Cars universe..... think about this. Think about it really hard... if you know what the headlights are in the Cars universe then this actually makes perfect sense.

He is taller and wider than McQueen, which is a reference to the literal frame of their vehicle counterparts. (A little hard to picture with these images, but eventually I'll draw them together!)

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That's all I have to say really, but do let me know what you guys think! Gas it up and it might encourage me to make a part 2 with some of the other characters! Who would you like to see next? ♡ Thank you so much for reading & have a great day, Kachow!!

[lost-in-fandoms]

This is inspired by my own post. Don't even look at me.

It's a long shot, and Daniel is perfectly aware of it as he rides the elevator up to Max's room, but he refuses to think too hard about it, afraid he will reconsider the sanity of it and turn back.

You see, they used to have this...thing, back in the day. It didn't happen often enough to give a name to it, but when Daniel got pole or won a race, Max would find him and get on his knees for him.

It had started in 2016, Max fresh faced and wide eyed, pulling him into the bathroom of the club they were in. Not in Monaco, not even Max was bold enough for that, but in Malaysia. It had been hot and wet, and Daniel had tangled his fingers in Max's sweaty hair, pulling hard enough to make tears spring in his blue eyes, before coming down his throat.

Their thing had always been one way only. Max had been the one getting on his knees, and Daniel had never offered to get him back. It had been a relief, when Max had started winning more than him, he didn't want to owe blowjobs that often. Not that Max would have hold him to that if Daniel didn't want to, but it would have been a matter of pride, and justice, or whatever.

Daniel has spent a lot of time in the last couple of years thinking about it. Not much about the act itself, even if he has gotten off to the memories of Max's mouth more times than he can count, but about the whole concept of it. He had started wondering if it had been Max's first (debatable, kid had been too sure of himself, but again Max always was), if Max had wanted more (probably, he had seen the looks he would get on his face sometimes), why Max had never tried to talk to him about it. Why Daniel, arguably the more mature of the two, hadn't done it. If Max still thought about it too. If he thought about it as much as Daniel did.

The last time they had done this it had been Monza, in 2021. Max had shoved in his motorhome, flushed and furious, and had sucked Daniel off with such a passionate drive it had felt like maybe he was trying to get Daniel's soul too. Or like maybe he was trying to suck Daniel's P1 out of him through his dick. It had been one of the best blowjobs of his life, had left him dazed and panting on the couch while Max had bit out a congratulations and stormed out again, his shoulders just marginally less stiff.

And now Daniel is in front of Max's door, with a P5 that feels like a P1, feeling like he's going to be taking a step right out of a plane.

He hears shuffling when he finally knocks, and it's only when he hears Max open the door that the uncertainty hits him in full force. He has not thought this through at all. Or well, he has, just not further than this. How do you ask someone "hey it's been almost three years but I would like to cash in a blowjob"??

Max looks...soft. He has a pair of sweats on, one of his white tshirts, hair freshly washed and unstyled. The blank expression and small polite smile he's sporting when he opens the door, as if he was expecting to have to send someone away, immediately morph into a blinding smile when he spots Daniel. It's always been so easy, at least for Daniel, to make Max smile like that.

"Daniel!" he says, eyes crinkling, moving to the side to let Daniel in without having to be asked.

"Hello, Max."

His room is fairly tidy, his luggage open in a corner with a few team shirts spilling out just as it had always been, but the blankets on the bed are all askew, a comfy little nest around Max's open laptop.

"Am I interrupting something?" Daniel asks, motioning towards it. He never knows when Max is working, watching something, or playing with his friends, but he hopes it's nothing important. If it's something important and Max sends him away, Daniel knows he will never find the guts to do this ever again.

"No," Max starts, then turns, smiling more, "well, yes. I was watching Lando's onboards. But they are not important now."

It hits him unexpectedly hard, the casual acknowledgement that Daniel's presence is more important than whatever Max was already planning for his evening. It's nothing new, but it's been a while since Daniel has felt it, the way Max loves him so simply. Since he has felt deserving of it.

Something must show on his face, because Max's smile turns soft as he sits down on the couch near the window, patting the space next to him for Daniel to join him.

"Why are you here?" From anyone else, it would sound rude, but Daniel has been used to Max's bluntness since day one, misses it sometimes these days, now that he's a little more careful with it, so he knows Max only means exactly what he's asking.

Daniel also knows this could be the moment to bring it up, his request, but it feels wrong to just barge in on Max's evening, get an orgasm and leave. Back then he would have done it, but they're both different people now.

"I wanted to see you, Maxy," he says, aiming for joke and hitting fond instead. It's not a lie, but the way Max goes all pink and pleased feels too dangerous for his heart, so Daniel redirects. "P2, yeah?"

It's enough to set Max off, talking about corners and turns and steering and this car. Not my car, Daniel notes. He's not surprised by the difference, but he wonders if Max means to make it so obvious, how he feels about this year's car. Or maybe Daniel is just really versed in Max-speak.

He also notices the tension around his eyes a couple of times, when Max mentions the team, and if it was another night he maybe would have asked; it never took much for Max to tell Daniel things, especially when he was unhappy about something. But today he got P5, and something about the blush growing on Max's cheeks as he gets more and more animated, making his eyes looks even more blue, firmly sets him back on jumping off the plane and send it plans.

He waits for Max to slow down a little, then nudges his calf with his foot, enjoying the way Max immediately reacts by jabbing a finger into Daniel's side, tension disappearing from his face.

"P5 is not P2, but it's still pretty good, right?"

Max's smile is his best one yet, all bright and proud as he nods, reaching for Daniel again to squeeze his shoulder.

"Of course, you have been very good today, Daniel! I am glad you are again feeling the car right."

Always so sweet and earnest. If he hadn't already teared up a little before press, face hidden in Blake's shoulder, Daniel would have probably done it now. As it is, he just smiles back, lets Max talk through his lap, quietly pleased by the knowledge that Max had obviously watched his onboard already, before Lando's. Maybe, if he dares to hope it, even before George's.

It's probably that, feeling like he's still important to Max, what gives him the confidence to throw things into motion.

"Feels like a P1, mate."

For a split second, he doesn't know what to expect. Will Max understand what he means? Maybe Max has not been thinking about their past times together, maybe saying P1 will mean nothing to him, maybe he will just go on another rant on how different P1 is of course from P5. Or maybe he will understand Daniel, and he will just slide off the couch and onto his knees, and Daniel won't have to say anything else.

Max, obviously, because he's Max, does neither thing.

His expression changes, something focused and pinched, as he tilts his head a little and stares at Daniel, lips slightly pursed.

"You want to feel like P1?" he asks. To someone else it would sound like a perfectly normal question, but Daniel knows that Max has understood, because somehow Max always gets him, even now. He also knows that he will not get out of this without talking about it at least a little. They're both different people, he has to remind himself. He's not the only one who's changed.

He nods, because he's not one to go back on his steps when he's already decided to send it, but he doesn't say anything else.

Max still looks deep in thought.

"We..." he starts, then immediately changes trajectory, "I can. If that is what you want."

As if Daniel might have walked all the way over without wanting this, without wanting Max. He nods again, watches as Max shifts a little, eyes flicking down to Daniel's lap, then to his own hands. His ears are red.

"Why now?" he blurts out, fingers twisting together. "You have of course got P5 before, but you have never come to me."

For a second, Daniel feels breathless with the knowledge that this whole time, Max would have been willing. This whole time, he could have asked and Max would have said yes, even after all these years, even after his championships, even after 2022.

"It didn't feel the same," he answers, before adding in a whisper, a belated confession, "I missed you."

He sees the way Max's shoulders jolt, his head snapping up again, eyes wide and surprised. Daniel doesn't get it, they have said it before, but he doesn't get time to dwell on it before Max is smiling again, grabbing a pillow and gracelessly following it on the floor.

Suddenly, just from seeing Max on his knees, Daniel is half hard. No wanking memory could hold a light to the real thing, to Max, broad and solid and real.

He lets Max get his hands on his legs, spreading them gently and shuffling forward, fingers sliding up to his thighs. It's hard to swallow now, the air in the room suddenly heavy with anticipation.

"I have missed you," Max rasps, kneading at Daniel's legs, not even reaching for his waistband yet. "I have missed doing this for you."

Daniel closes his eyes, lets his head fall back, but he regrets it immediately when he realizes it means not looking at Max anymore. Max, who's now looking up at him, pupils blown and lips red. For a moment, Daniel wishes things were different, wishes this thing was one where they kissed too, where he got to drag Max in his lap and get to touch him, feel all the way he's different now.

"Up," is all Max says, breaking his dangerous train of thought, and Daniel just obeys, lifting his hips and letting Max take down his pants, leaving them pooled at his ankles.

He's sure he's imagining the sigh Max lets out, the way his fingers are trembling a little when they reach just barely inside his underwear, grazing the top of his thigh.

And then Max leans forward and licks over one of Daniel's tattoos.

The sound Daniel lets out is a mix of a yelp and a moan. He can feel the little shit smiling against his skin, right before he does it again, adding a bite at the end, followed by an apology kiss, and this too is different from how they used to do it, quick and dirty, straight to the prize. Daniel is not going to complain.

Max takes his time, kissing and licking his way up his tattoos, until his nose hits the side of Daniel's clothed dick, now well on its way to fully hard.

"Hello," Max whispers, like a nerd, flashing a cheeky smile up at Daniel, who's tempted to swat at him until Max opens his mouth and wraps his lips around the head of his cock, underwear and all.

Daniel barely has time to squeak out a curse, hips bucking up in surprise, before Max steps back, smile gone. When he looks up again, he looks so intensely hungry Daniel struggles to swallow, and for his next revelation of the day, he understands that the gangly and overenthusiastic teenager who had drooled all over his dick in a club in Malaysia must have gained quite a lot of experience since then.

He refuses to analyze how that makes him feel, at least for now.

Max doesn't waste any more time, luckily, since Daniel is now hot and straining, making quick work of Daniel's boxers and of putting his mouth on him. For a second, with Max's lips around his tip, Daniel gets thrown back in time, and maybe things are not so different after all. Then Max takes a breath and sinks all the way down.

"What the...shit!" Daniel swears, scrambling for something to hold onto and finding Max's shoulders, as his brain goes completely blank, fuzzy with static and pleasure.

Yes, Max has definitely gotten more experience, because what the fuck is this. He's still enthusiastic, moaning and drooling around Daniel, tongue swirling as if his dick is some sort of delicacy, but the technique is different now. It's like he graduated in cock sucking or something, like he's trying to prove he's not only a racing champion, but a sex champion, or maybe like he's trying to kill Daniel. Or all three together.

Daniel knows he's being loud, moans and swears tumbling from his lips without hope of being restrained, but it seems to only spur Max on, as he fucking deepthroats him again with no sign of gagging. What the fuck.

"Max, Maxy, babe," Daniel tugs at Max's hair, struggling to string enough words together to let him know that, embarrassingly, he's already close, but all that does is make Max moan, the vibration of it feeling like sparks up Daniel's back.

Luckily, Max seems to still get the message though, because he lets up a little, gently suckling at Daniel's tip, pressing a kiss to it before pulling back completely to look up at Daniel.

He's like a vision, cheeks red and eyes bright, mouth spit slicked and a bit swollen, hair falling on his forehead, and Daniel's desire to kiss him comes back in full force. Again, almost as if he was reading it on Daniel's face, Max stops that particular train of though.

"Can I swallow?" Max asks, voice rough, as if it is a totally normal question and not a way to make Daniel feel like he's going to die on the spot.

"Do you want to?" Somehow, Daniel's voice is worse than Max's, all breathy and fucked up, and he can see Max being pleased about it. Menace.

"I always want to."

Max always used to, even back then, but Daniel had never questioned if it was because he thought that was how it was supposed to be or because he wanted to. Having the answer now is devastating. He groans, letting his head fall back and nodding weakly, hoping Max will just have mercy on him and finally kill him, but it doesn't seem good enough for the other, who reaches up to grab Daniel's chin, gently but firmly pulling his head back down.

"Yes?"

Daniel is acutely aware he had never explicitly asked for consent before, and neither had Max.

Things are different now.

"Yes."

It doesn't take long after that, Max throwing himself back into it like a man starved, and Daniel falling apart under him, unable to control his hands, his hips or the volume of his voice. He swears Max moans when Daniel finally comes down his throat, shaking and twitching as Max sucks him through it. He's still dazed and out of it while Max helps him back into his clothes, fondly patting his dick before tucking it in, and he can only watch as Max hauls himself to his feet again, wincing slightly, and dropping back on the couch next to Daniel.

"Good?" Max asks, because he's a nerd and a little shit.

Daniel limply hits him with his eyes still closed, feeling himself smile in response to Max's laugh.

This is different too, he distantly thinks. Usually it was Max coming to him, and he would always leave immediately after, never hanging out for Daniel's comedown. Now, when he finally opens his eyes, Max is curled up next to him, still looking flushed and happy. Still obviously hard.

Things are different now, Daniel reminds himself, checking with himself for a second as he reaches forward to tap on Max's knee.

"Want help with that?"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for banning gum and chips from my car?

I'll keep this simple. I (24F) have misophonia, and chewing sounds are among my worst triggers. I often physically recoil and twitch from the sound of it, involuntarily.

For safety's sake and the sake of my sanity, I've decided that "loud" food like chips, gum, taffy, etc. is banned from my car (I only recently began driving and now own my very first car).

My older sister thinks this is a mean thing to do, but I think it's reasonable, considering that it's my car and I feel it may pose a safety hazard. To be honest, even if my reactions didn't make me physically twitch, I think it would still be reasonable because I shouldn't have to be in unnecessary mental pain while I'm driving.

Is this a dick move? Should I just put up with the chewing?

(Nobody relies on me for rides currently, the only person I regularly drive around is myself. Family members sometimes willingly come with me when I decide to take a random trip to the store, and other stuff like that. Nobody is forced by circumstances to be in my car when they don't want to.)

[1000sunnygo]

Saw someone trying to claim that cora secretly resented his birth dad (too lazy to correctly spell the man’s name) and like nah dude. That’s the main reason he ran away. He still loved his dad and never blamed him. Because I think despite everything he saw his dad as good hearted and correct, just painfully naiive. I sometimes wonder if doflamingo ever truly hated their dad. Resents the hell out of him, hated his actions, blames him for his childhood miseries and stone cold in his murder. But their dad was never presented in a hatable way, at least from my reading.

Agreed, Homing wasn't presented in a hateable way. Oda designed him as an elegant-looking fellow in spite of being a regular Tenryubito and that says enough. The Donquixote couple were the only Celestial Dragons who couldn't be brainwashed into becoming egocentric psychopaths even though they were born and raised at Mariejeoise, they owe some respect.

The criticisms of Homing's personality comes from our own judgement of his character and not from canon narration, shoutout to @eroguron0nsense for this meta summarizing his flaws. Frankly speaking, I think Homing was doomed to die. Being killed by his own son just adds a layer of irony, it wasn't a dignifying way to go.

As for Rosi, he clearly held a high opinion of his father:

"How was such a monster born in the family of such kind hearted mother and father? I don't get it. He's not a human."

.

In fact, I doubt Rosi ever pondered about his father's naivety at all. There's no point in digging the faults of a humble father who died long ago, considering that a greater evil (still) existed in their bloodline who inflicted much bigger pain in his childhood. Rosi's most severe loss in his childhood was his parent's deaths, not the lavish life at Mariejeoise.

Point to note is that a six year old's cognitive development is still underway, a ten y/o on old on the other hand, has evolved a lot. Rosi wasn't be able to judge his parent's character the same way his brother could. I've wondered, if Rosi were around Doffy's age, would he be influenced by Doffy's ideas a lot more, like most younger siblings? Probably not, since Rosi's thought process is fundamentally different from Doffy's. He's hotheaded and impulsive, but he's not vengeful. Rosi enlisted as a marine to save civilians in spite of being poorly treated as a child, and knowing that they'd hate him if they knew about his bloodline. I can't imagine Law or Doffy doing the same. Rosi is a humanitarian who held a deep sense of justice (passed from Sengoku and kindhearted parents) - that neither of those two had.

Having a bit of thought experiment, if Law as a child were in Doffy's position, I can see him resenting his father - not for losing the family status but for endangering his family's life (and the death of his mother). But I don't think he would've been manipulated by bad adults into killing his father. I see Rosi's driving force his morality (returned to his brother to stop him to save the civilians), Doffy's is self importance (would throw away anyone for his own cause), and Law's is love (extreme protectiveness of those he loves). No matter what, Law wouldn't be risking the safety (and sanity) of his younger sister.

Back on track... does Doffy truly hate his father?

Yes, he does.. in a complex way. Doffy still considers Homing's actions to be the source of his miseries. But I believe "family" means something profound to Doffy. Regardless of what happened or how much he hates him, Homing is HIS father, and that by default means he's a human of a higher value.

Doffy made this particular way of execution, to shoot with his flintlock, somewhat ritualistic and specific for those he deems as his family. As he said in chapter 769, he sees it as a form of redemption.

"But, I shall forgive you! The same way I forgave my real father and brother: with death!!"

He doesn't want to hate them, so he 'punishes' them and forgives them, which in his self centered mind is a form of entitlement.

The answer got a lot bigger than I expected shdhd thanks for reading my rambling though o7

[wannaeatramyeon]

HIII how are u doing girlie😍🤞🤞 Anyways can u pls write a scenario where ur classmates (htf characters?) find out ur dating seong taehoon and their reactions?? You dont need to if u dont want to ofc<333

Hey Anon! Thanks for the ask <3 I'm doing great!! Brain rotting away as expected but HAPPY FRIDAY! Hope you're doing well too and having a good start to the month :)

Don't you agree that there's a disappointingly small amount of writing for our lil nutjob?

Please enjoy the whiplash of my change in tone!

HTF discovering You & Taehoon dating!

Things were tentative between you and Taehoon. You've only been dating for a couple months, and you're still getting to know this side of him. Well. You say this side but it's still the same old Taehoon that you've come to grow very fond of.

The one that tells everyone to piss off but comes running, no, sprinting when one of his friends need his help. Who threatens to beat everyone up, but will come to your defence with no hesitation. This prickly, insufferable little shit.

Sometimes you worry about your own sanity for liking someone like Taehoon, but then he gives you a look in the middle of the company meetings and your feel your entire body flush and your heart palpitate. And you think about just being alone with him, the way that he looks at you like he wants to devour you, the way his hand runs all over your body and god bless his pale skin because it's so obvious how crazy you're driving him despite how cool he plays it- "Huh? Sorry Rumi, I missed that question. What did you ask?"

You know already this guy has no respect for other people's personal space, but since you've gotten together, a complete and utter lack of personal space has become the norm. At least when no one else is around.

Taehoon corners you in the company house.

"You got 500 won?" He's leaning casually on the wall, blocking your path of exit. He wears a smug smirk as his face moves closer to yours.

You roll your eyes, "Get your own 500 won, I'm not lending you any more money you bastard."

He glances down at your lips, "How about a kiss then?"

Bastard indeed. You blush, but with him so close by, with his lidded gaze and goddamn pretty pink lips slightly parted... you couldn't say no if you tried.

You lean forward to kiss him, and Taehoon deepens it before you have a chance to move away. His arm circles around your waist, pressing your entire body against him. You put your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer and his hands start to roam your body. Perhaps you and Taehoon should move this somewhere more private-

A glass shatters. "OH MY GOD!!"

You both turn and see the entirety of Hobin Yu company frozen in shock.

Fuck. This was why you shouldn't be making out in the living room.

Hobin: Very happy for you! Congrats Y/N!!! But then after a moment... wait. Hold on. The reality of the situation sinks in. What?! That psycho Taehoon managed to bag you???

Yeah Taehoon has a nice face but his personality STINKS. How can anyone stand him? AND MOST important of all: how did you guys beat him and Bomi getting together?! Life is so unfair!

Snapper: similiar reaction as Hobin. Who tf can put up with that nutjob. Side eyes you a bit cos surely you must have a few screws loose too. But... the opportunities for a newtube channel! Couple dates, couple vlogging! Ok, maybe this isn't such a bad development.

Gaeul: completely clueless. Even Gyeoul has commented on you two getting closer. This innocent little chick just thought... well, she didn't know what she thought - maybe you guys were just close friends? "You fellas, I'm so happy for you. Now don't you young whippersnappers get up to no good!"

Rumi: Oh Y/N I'm so happy for you! Hold on- let me just text Wangguk to set up a double date. What you doing this Saturday?

Mangi: another cinnamon roll. Gives you and Taehoon the biggest hug, squeezing the life out of you whilst Taehoon is just glaring, gearing up to give him a kick. So so happy for you, wishes you guys a lifetime of happiness (woah, steady on Mangi we've just gotten together!!) and that you are as happy as him and his girlfriend <3

Yeonwoo: You've always been nice and sweet to him. So you and Taehoon? Together? You're making this lil genius's brain hurt. Of course he'll congratulate the both of you, he's too polite to do otherwise. But his protective side flares up to make sure Taehoon treats you right.

Gyeoul: Who fucking cares

Taehoon finding out about everyone finding out: Headaches all around. What the fuck is wrong with these losers? Gets inundated with questions about you and their relationship. "Bastard that's none of your business", "Ask more questions if you want to die".

Temporarily wonders if this is worth it, but then looks at you and ok. Maybe it is. "Fuck, I'm so cringe I'm going to kick my own ass"

[sweetmage]

I was talking to my friend about DAI's treatment of Anders the other day and how it drives me INSANE. This game is SO cruel and uncharitable to him! Firstly, the only time we EVER see his manifesto in canon (as far as I know) is in the house of a crazed murderer with a pile of bodies in his basement. Every single mention is placing the blame firmly on his shoulders. I know some people subscribe to the "Varric is distancing himself from their actions for his/their safety" which I subscribe to as well simply for my own sanity, but it does sometimes become hard to swallow when it's been revealed that (assuming you romanced him) he knew where Hawke and Anders were the entire time yet he continues to let others trash Anders while he chimes, etc. And I DO understand and sympathize with Varric in a way, Kirkwall was his home and when the war broke out there was mass death and destruction and he had to leave. Anders did play a role in that, but he only sped up the process, he was not the root cause and they were heading that direction anyway. Also, he saw Meritdith's red lyrium nonsense firsthand, he saw the cruelty that preceded it, and everything she did aligned with what Anders was so concerned about. The Thedas-wide fighting is not "blondie's mess". I originally had my imported Hawke set to "supported Anders" but I had to change it to "didn't support Anders" in my next playthrough because the supportive Hawke straight up calls him a "monster" so I found the alternative to somehow be the lesser of two evils. In the end, I guess that's more accurate to my Hawke anyway because he was upset that Anders went behind his back and didn't tell him first, he would have liked the time to prepare for the aftermath and all that. But yeah, the "I don't know if there ever was an Anders" from a conflicted but still loyal Hawke is easier for me to roll my eyes and ignore than "he wasn't a hero or a monster, maybe he was both" from a supportive Hawke. But ugh, I digress... As for the other main characters, I do understand that none of them knew Anders personally, they only know him from the big action he took with the chantry and nothing more. So I think it makes sense that they don't necessarily have a favorable view of him, some of them seem rather confused if anything. Not to mention a lot of them did not personally endure the circumstances that led Anders to do what he did. But I really would have loved for there to be more NPCs that supported him, especially when DA2 introduced "The Resolutionists" who seem to align pretty damn well with Anders.

And we got a character that supported Loghain which is a 10+ year old topic but not a single one that supported Anders who seems to be a hot-button issue atm? At the very least, I wish there were at least some people that questioned the whole "Anders did this, this is all his fault" narrative (especially once DAI itself revealed that the war did not, in fact, start because of Anders) or at least SOME differing opinions on him?? As far as I can tell, the only person who has been remotely charitable to him is Solas in this conversation (the thing my friend sent me that got me talking about it):

And the only other mention I could find of people that may have supported him is in the Annexing Kirkwall wartable mission where Sebastian mentions "Anders's associates" who he believes might know where he is. But then again, this is coming from the man who wants to march on a city of innocents for to find a man who probably isn't even there so should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

FWIW I now play with the mod that makes Aiding Kirkwall trigger every time because it better aligns with my HCs for Seb and I will never in my life kill Anders so... I actually like Sebastian even though I don't agree with him most of the time. I get his immediate hurt and betrayal at the end of DA2 because he effectively lost his family again, but I'd like to after 3 whole years of being prince he'd have cooled down enough to uhhh... not march on a bunch of innocents??? Which seems very antithetical to his character and development in DA2?? Annexing Kirkwall is silly, so I do not see it. But I digress, this is an Anders post!!

Anyway, I know I am not saying anything that hasn't been said to death by this point. I love each and every DA companion in their own way, regardless of whether or not I agree with them. But I feel like this is less an issue with them and more an issue with how the writers chose to frame the narrative. I do have to wonder if the fact that so many people hated and were averse to Anders made them think that this is what the people wanted. I have quite a few issues with Anders's writing and handling in DA2 as well, don't get me wrong, but at the very least I enjoyed the ability to support him all the way through.

[lunar-serpentinite]

very incomplete thoughts because im just pulling shit out of my ass at this point but honestly i feel like dark!harry would be dangerously nihilistic. the stress and heavy burdens of being the Chosen One who is also being unheard by the rest and slandered every other day or so would drive him to one final breakdown before he decides he has finally had enough

we know that harry is the type to feel a lot. he is regularly driven by his emotions and his morals and his wishes to actually help. so when he's had enough, he could just straight up not feel anything. after all, his feelings dont really matter in the big picture. why should he bother anymore ?

now we know that suppression of Magic, whether through conscious choice or to cope with abuse, can result in an Obscurial so it won't be too far of a stretch to say that excessive suppression of emotions can also result in something as dangerous for wixen.

so picture this : harry's had enough. he wants out of literally everything he's going through right now. and in the midst of his distress and slowly fraying sanity, he wishes hard enough to "stop feeling anything" that his own Magic obeys

harry goes from feeling too much to feeling nothing at all . there's a void in his chest where his emotions should be, and he finds that it really doesn't bother him at all. he feels the most peaceful he has been in a long, long while. the void in his chest grows larger still and slowly, he begins to think that nothing really matters in the end.

he thinks about everyone. they tout and scream to the rooftops that hes the chosen one, that hes supposed to stop voldemort, that he is destined for greatness. but then they treat him like a child, like a fragile little thing who cant do anything right. they dont believe a lot of what he says, and would rather be swayed by the words of dumbledore or the prophet or skeeter. he doesnt really matter all that much to them, he supposes. hes just their little symbol of hope, there to sit pretty and wait til the final duel.

well. none of that anymore. they can deal with voldemort by themselves. doing anything for or against them would mean nothing anyways. he's an immature child in their eyes anyways, so an immature child he will be.

harry doesn't notice that the void hes been feeling in his chest has started to affect him and his surroundings as well. it's like he has become a small black hole, draining the life and the magic of everything around him. and if someone comes close enough to him, he'd be draining their emotions as well.

he and his magic have effectively squashed any and all feelings he has besides apathy. all he cares about now is getting the rest he deserves and letting the world fall to ruins. they can figure it out, he thinks, not like they ever needed him anyways. and i feel like with the absence of his emotions and morals, he'd be more inclined to using crueler spells just to keep his peace.

he still has a bit of his dramatic flair so harry probably lays himself to rest somewhere like beneath the rubble of his family's home, which is the closest he can be to "resting with his parents beneath the snow". he pulls a bella swan, lays there all numb and uncaring, and lets the world pass him by

meanwhile, the void in his chest grows larger and stronger still. it feeds from the remains of harry's emotions and the vitality of the environment around them. eventually, it grows enough that it becomes capable of manifesting outside of harry and it becomes somewhat like an Obscurus, shapeless and near invisible but capable of dealing large amounts of damage. however, it stays in place and only acts when it perceives a threat to harry's rest, which is pretty much anything that moves within their vicinity

potter cottage becomes a little bubble of nihility. it eats at anything that comes near and people become horribly numbed if they come too close. sometimes harry can hear his friends call out to him from within, but hes getting the rest he has been wanting for so long. they can figure things out by themselves.

so

yeah

that's the thought

[major-toast]

Alternative Rosekiller Playlist - pt. 1

Since this blog is purely for my entertainment, I thought to go ahead and list some songs I connect to either rosekiller or Evan and Barty as characters respectively. Of course, I'll explain my reasoning with each song.

Gauze - Deftones It's a mistake, but go ahead and take a side. But watch how you choose, or be headed for a ride.

Barty, especially canon compliant Barty. To spite his father, he chose to follow the lead of Tom Riddle, seeking thrill rather than logic. Manipulative as he is, it had been an easy thing to convince Evan to join their side, promising this is how they'll escape those, who oppress them. Untimely, it had been also the decision that would lead to their demise.

Entombed - Deftones From the day you arrived I've remained by your side. In chains, entombed.

Evan. Although he didn't necessarily like Barty at first - deemed him too obnoxious, too nosy -, Barty remained persistent. Essentially, Evan took a liking to him, remaining by his side even though their relationship was far from healthy. Barty is possessive, and no matter how hard Evan tried, he would have never gotten rid of him. His loyalty ended in his death.

Spine - WesGhost You're always in my mind, can I see you tonight? I'll meet you anywhere you like, I'll be over in five. It's only for the night, baby, is it alright? If I pretend that you're mine.

They are keeping their relationship secret at first. Evan pretends to be straight to avoid suspicion, but Barty knows his dirty little secret. One ghosting touch of his hand over Evan's waist, one breathed kiss into his ear, and Evan will grow pliant between his hands. Barty always wanted him, and he gets everyone he wants. Seeing Evan with other people only fuels the rage, the spite. He'll have him one day, and if he has to fuck him in love.

Waste My Mind - ThxSoMch Keep track of it all, replay every fault. My words are fake. Are you proud of me? 'Cause I choke before I talk.

If rosekiller is something, then it has to be toxic. Their communication is poor, and Evan withdraws into his mind rather than talk things out. He's scared of commitment, fears the consequences, what it could do to his freedom. But Barty clings. With no one there to love him, Barty would give his all to keep Evan as close as he can. If he had to, he would bury himself inside of Evan's bones, eat him whole. He'd follow him everywhere, but Evan's mind is the only place where he's being kept out, and he hates it. Losing him drives him insane in every universe, so no matter how often they break up, replay their own faults, they will always end up together again. It is simply how their fate works.

Always You - Depeche Mode My love, life's too absurd. My love, I could not explain. My love, why insanity reigns. And then, there's you, there's always you. The light that leads me from the darkness.

This one is an ode to Barty's dependency on Evan, and how possessive he grows over time. Especially within the last chorus, the line 'always you' grows more demanding, manic even. After Evan's death, Barty lost it all. Over the course of the war, Barty's mental state had deteriorated, and Evan had kept together what little had been left of his sanity. I believe, during his time in Azkaban and all those years later, Evan never fully left him. He felt the constant need to avenge him, felt his presence closer than ever. It was daunting, eery, but Barty would have rather died than lose even the last thing he could cling to. Sometimes, he'd talk to him as if he were still there, alive. With every breath he took, his grasp on reality slackened until the thought of the only love he ever felt - no matter how much of it had never been real love to begin with - consumed him whole. Shame, they never got to meet in the afterlife.

[thisbarbiereallylikesbirds]

The Phone Call

Shen hated a lot of things. The anti-aging industry. Smudging her makeup right before she was done. Soft boiled eggs. Just to name a few.

But just because she expressed her opinions on her long list of dislikes didn’t mean she was a completely negative person. There were plenty of things that she liked too. Like autumn, and really artistic films. Tiny ceramic cats. Vintage coats.

Her friend, Lou Jitsu, had parkoured between the two lists with all the grace of a headless chicken during the time that they’d worked together. But even at his worst, when he made her want to tear her own hair out, she’d never wanted him dead. Especially not so young.

Now she knew that he wasn’t technically dead. He was missing, having disappeared the very night he’d promised that he was finally gonna propose to his long term girlfriend, Kana. But, if she knew him (and after nearly twenty years she certainly hoped she did) he wasn’t the type to just up and vanish. Not without telling her, at least. 

For her own sanity she’d allowed herself to come to the conclusion that he had died. It was better than spending the rest of her life thinking about the alternatives. Despite her best efforts though, she could never fully extinguish the thought that he might still be out there somewhere. A small part of her still craved to know what really happened.

And one day she got her answer.

She had been working on the script for her newest movie (unsurprisingly, another short film about the horrors of aging in Hollywood) when she’d gotten the phone call.

Now, Shen liked to consider herself to be “with the times”. She knew enough about internet safety to not go about posting her location and other ridiculous things. But at her core Shen was an old lady. So despite the fact that she didn’t recognize the number, she still answered.

“Shen?” the voice asked before she’d even gotten the chance to say hello.

“Yes?”

“I-it’s me,” the voice said.

“It’s…who?” Whoever was at the other end of the line sounded vaguely familiar. But she couldn’t quite place it.

“Yoshi,” he said. “Um, Lou Jitsu.”

Shen almost hung up right then, right there.

Other people had surfaced online, claiming to be the long lost star, of course. Shen had never even considered any of them had been telling the truth. But this time, hearing his voice over the phone, Shen knew that he was telling the truth. It was him.

And she was furious.

“You’re late.”

“...Late?” Lou Jitsu asked.

“Yeah by maybe 20-ish years? You promised that you’d call me after your date was over and tell me how it went.”

“Yeah I sort of was busy—”

“I assumed you were, but days after? Weeks? You better have a good explanation.”

“I think I kinda do—” he said.

“And I don’t wanna hear it! Do you know what it’s been like without you? The waiting for you to show back up at set, the cancellation, the finding a new career. I cried over you, you jerk!”

“You did?” he said, sounding flattered.

“Yeah, obviously! I lost my best friend that day, and now you just show back up?”

“Shen?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Do you want to come to New York?”

“Why would I want to come to New York?”

“I could send you a plane ticket. Or maybe you want to drive? I just figured it’d be better to try to explain everything in person.”

“Yeah, maybe it would.”

There was pause.

“So…are you gonna come?”

“Of course I am, babe, you’re not getting out of an explanation that easy.”

“Good,” he said, sounding relieved. “I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Stuff’s…boring on set sometimes.”

“What I’d give for boring sometimes.”

“Pfft, you couldn’t live with boring.”

“That’s true.”

“Speaking of, I think I’m owed an update on Kana. How’d that proposal go?”

“The proposal went fine, it was after that things got weird.”

“But you two are actually done done now?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“And I assume you want to explain it in person?”

“There are a lot of things I want to explain in person, but there’s something I should probably tell you before you come down here. Just so you aren’t surprised.”

“Nothing that you could say will surprise me, Lou.”

“Shen, I’m a rat.”

“Yeah I know.”

“No, like a real rat. I—have you seen what’s been going down in New York?”

“What, with the invasion—did, did you do that?!”

“No! Well, I was involved—we are getting off topic, I mean before that.”

“With…the mutants?”

“Yeah.”

“So…a mosquito turned you into a rat?”

“Not quite.”

“I don’t follow.”

“You know what,” he said. “Maybe this should wait until we meet up in person. Does this weekend sound good?”

“This weekend?” Shen laughed. “Babe, I’m leaving today.”

[crownmemes]

Fringe Sentences, Vol. 5

(Sentences from Fringe (2008-2013). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"God has a far more disturbed sense of humour than even I could have imagined."

"I've seen some pretty disturbing things in my time working with you and I think I've handled them pretty well, but this? I don't think I can do this."

"Are you sure you want to do this? Submit yourself to these experiments?"

"There are times when the only choices you have left are bad ones."

"You're trying to create a wormhole into another universe?"

"There has to be a line somewhere. There has to be a line we can't cross."

"Please. I need you not to doubt me."

"You're not my father, are you?"

"When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth."

"You know, this past year is the longest I've ever stayed in one place."

"I may not be the gumshoe you are, but I've got some skills!"

"I've been a little foggy as to your motives."

"Grief can drive people to extraordinary lengths."

"I need a corpse. Any corpse will do, but it shouldn't have been dead for more than two days."

"It's important to take control of one's life."

"What kind of doctor are you? You're not even trying!"

"You probably don't believe that love at first sight exists, but I assure you, it does."

"Why not bring a little life to the dead, I say!"

"It must be nice to know who you are - to know your place in the world."

"Don't you know? All good stories start with 'once upon a time', and they end with 'happily ever after'."

"What is it that makes you special?"

"I'm not hallucinating, and I'm not paranoid, and I'm not questioning my own sanity!"

"What if he won't forgive me?"

"I can't ask them to do something that I'm not willing to chance myself!"

"What I'm about to tell you is classified, but I think it's about time you knew what you were dealing with."

"You've been asleep for three days!"

"They have absolutely fabulous drugs here! I feel great!"

"I know what you did to me! I know that you cut out pieces of my brain!"

"When I'm nervous, I cook, and I've been making pies for over a week!"

"Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in one of those bad buddy cop movies."

"Your tie - I think you have a little bit of brain on it."

"You've forgotten what it's like to feel emotions!"

"I can't answer that. There is no answer. It's a mathematical question without a solution."

"If he has no pulse, then why is he still breathing?"

"Don't worry, I do some of my finest work self-medicated!"

"You're in over your head. You're not fully committed to this task, and because of that, you will fail."

"You can keep on telling yourself that you're fine, but you're not fine!"

"Nature doesn't recognise good and evil. Nature only recognises balance and imbalance."

[velvetvexations]

Hello! Hope your day is going well ^^

I remember reading this ask you answered (I think it was the "how come i" anon) and your response + your general attitude re: trans intracommunity discourse really resonated with me

I might be a trans man but long before that I was an artist and I specifically came back to Tumblr because I was having a hard time making my art on twitter after a certain someone took over - _ - (and of course, the rampant transphobia), only to find out that a small but vocal minority of queer folk here insist that I'm privileged for... [checking notes] having he/him pronouns and identifying as a man, despite being pre-T, and facing all sorts of transphobia, misogyny and transandrophobia (mostly from my parents, I'm lucky to go to a uni that's accepting of trans and genderqueer people)

I tried speaking up for us, but all it did was turn me into an unhealthy, paranoid mess, constantly checking my phone instead of focusing on things that mattered like my study, art, and relationships w my friends and my fiance, and I deleted that side blog after a few days.

I know you said it's fine to vent in your inbox but I still wanna keep it short - I still feel like.. I'm betraying the cause, or whatever because I don't actively make posts on transandrophobia on Tumblr, despite being 100% behind the term as another facet of transphobia - purely based off of my own lived experiences.

Anyway, I'm slowly transitioning (heh) my blog into something less "trans man with an art blog" and more "artist that happens to be a trans man", and I feel... right, despite the aforementioned guilt, because there's so many stories I want to tell, so many scenes I wanna capture with my stylus. I don't believe in vocations in the spiritual sense, but art feels like home to me, and I wonder if that's the same case for you with your writing.

And finally, I'm sure you've heard this plenty of times, but thank you for standing in our corner, despite getting so much shit from other blogs (this also goes for starryjoy and other transfems and trans women that have supported us transmascs + men! Thank you all so much <3)

Your fellow artist,

🖋️

(P.S. I was considering using a paintbrush but I like the fountain pen emoji more lol)

It's always my pleasure to help, anon. <3 You don't have an obligation to engage with discourse. Do what's best for your sanity and maybe see how you might be able to help out causes here or there that don't cause you anxiety or takes more from you than you can give. I had the same guilt not being able to engage with most issues (me even mentioning potential consequences of the election earlier should be taken as a sign of how angry I was when I made that post) but I was able to find a niche I can operate in. Even if you can't do that much or don't have money to donate, even just supporting your friends and the people around you adds a lot to the world.

I do feel that way about my writing, also. i have so many characters, so many scenes, so many themes, arcs, stories, it drives me crazy sometimes. I really hope eventually Velvet Nation will get to read them.

[modern-inheritance]

That Galbatorix Won AU that will not be written

I love how like 6-8 or more of yall individual people liked my Galbatorix Won AU post things while those posts also state that y'all are probably never going to see it in full.

Like it's not even fully fleshed out. It's word vomit on a drive doc that I can't really look at right now because the dissociation is real jesus fucking christ. Maybe I SHOULD ask a psychiatrist about this depth of method-writing(???).

I will say this is the gist. There are themes of self deletion, implied nasty things, and it's just not a happy thing really. No reread, we die like women with migraines.

Arya convinces Brom to flee to an unknown location before the Urubaen start. He does so. Galbatorix wins. Eragon eventually snaps in an unexpected way after Arya is broken due to being essentially forced to mercy kill Glenwing after she was subjected to let's just say Galbatorix level abuses on all levels of physical and mental planes and she, mute and carrying around her dead Battle Mate's arm, nonverbally asks Eragon to kill her to end this, as she's being used to hurt the people she loves and her continued existence is more harmful than good.

Eragon's snap is to use formless magic to essentially separate Arya, as a whole, from the magic of the Ancient Language. Don't ask me how nor the repercussions in full. But she is essentially 'dead' to magic. Galbatorix cannot use the name of names now to have hold over her and what she does and can't even scry her. She cannot cast magic, but magic cannot be casted on her either. Spells targeting her do not produce results. She is a void and dead in the eyes of the Ancient Language.

Somehow, don't ask how, Eragon gets Arya out of Uru'baen and naturally forces himself through some fun psych to believe he did indeed kill her. Everyone else believes him.

Arya wears the pieces of Glen's arm. Just wanders Alagaesia until she wanders into the Spine to die. Turns out it wasn't that, it was more mystery forces at work and/or her subconscious thinking that it would be a safe place, and she finds, SURPRISE! Brom living with the Urgals that managed to slip away even further north into the Spine. She's mute, dissociates every couple of hours to just sorta wander off, Claustrophobic/domaphobic so she never goes inside Brom's hut or urgal tents, and still can't even get herself to not bolt backwards if Brom comes within 10 feet of her. She is not the same person Brom saw last. There's bits and pieces of the Arya he knew, but she's unable to hold those pieces together longer than maybe a handful of hours at a time and still can't speak when she does. At most she can touch his hand during those moments, try and mouth words, and write things down in frantic attempts to preserve her sanity and memories of her life before. These moments get longer and longer over time, eventually until she's 'back,' but she never fully regains speech and still has much of her problems with buildings and has to be the one to initiate hugs or walk towards Brom rather than the other way around. She's never again really, truely, the same person.

Brom and Arya convert Riders signs to their own homesign and just start living. Arya frequently hallucinates Glen and 'speaks' with him through sign, spends days staring off hugging her Glenwing-mech-arm encased forearm to her chest, and has lost most of her fight. Brom takes his new mission on as taking care of her, helping her heal and find her fire again, and to once again be the last Old Guard to remember true history rather than Galbatorix's fucked up version.

There is no happy ending. Only Brom and Arya, the way MIC started.

And no, this will not be fully written. Ever. You guys may sometimes get little bits and pieces that will be labeled as such but haha I cannot take the weird fugue/dissociation this version of Arya brings over me and the absolute trauma of losing everything twice and being powerless to stop it that Brom's internal voice brings. Garzvog is cool though. I like this version of him. He's surprisingly nice.

[mixedcontents]

Since I've been so sick and injured and depressed I've been getting back into the Warriors Cats books (thanks to a loved one who got me many of them for my birthday) and I forgot how much I loved them and I was scared bc I was worried I'd go back to them and not like them or having outgrown them and it's different so different but in good ways I love the series still but I'm coming at it with a different perspective all these years later I devoured and loved the books as a kid and stuck with them as they came out through my first year of college i bought them as they came out sticking them on my to be read pile for when I was done with college and had the time and energy to devour more reading but for fun (between taking a load and a half my first year working volunteering being disabled and driving a 2+ hrs round trip five days a week sometimes more it was a lot!) And then when I got around to being able to read them I was so burnt out and my health was acting up and I needed a break so I didn't read them and by the time I felt like it and was able to again I was like oh no it's been so long i feel like i need to reread the entire series and just kinda let it go and then most of my books got ruined too and now all these years later I'm just diving back in and loving them.

That is to say as a kid I always had a thing about villians and the bad guys I just find them so interesting and complex and if well written my favorite characters (even if I don't want them to succeed) and Tigerclaw this time around I find even more intriguing like in my brain I see his grasping for ambition and power no different from any other cat in the series who wanted it at least at first. And like I imagine before fireheart joined the clan he was seeing Bluestar's grasp on her sanity slipping and getting older and I think maybe that drove him to wanting it more bc his grasp for power really did start out as him wanting to make his clan strong and safe (tho it descends into him wanting power for powers sake at the cost of everything really and then like racist shit that he jumps through hoops fo ignore when it comes to him and his descendants but I digress more than I have already) and i just see him losing his own grip on his sanity the more he grasps for power and the more power he gets but it kind of breaks my heart when he gets kicked out of the clan (for attempted murder like he did it to himself) but when he tries to get his friends to go with him and they all turn their backs on him even Darkstripe and then after when they have Darkstripe constantly watched (before he does anything to betray his clan) and we see that isolation within the clan drive Tawnypelt out later too and Darkstripe eventually joins Tigerstar and then when he's killed by Scourge Darkstripe is just so sad the only cat mourning Tigerstar really and he dies not long after and then later meets Tigerstar in the dark forest where he's been wandering alone and afraid and searching and hoping for Starclan and finally here's his friend and leader and Tigerstar turns him away (I think reluctantly maybe having no use for him but I like to think turning him away he thought his friend might find his way to starclan again) idk it just kinda breaks my heart to think how Darkstripe just wanted to be loyal and loved and a part of things and got constantly turned away and ends up as alone in death as he was in life I always hoped somehow he'd find his way to starclan and they'd forgive him and welcome him and finally he would get to be safe and warm and loved again a part of a clan again

Idk just I just always found Tigerstar and Darkstripe interesting and how Firestar (and other cats in thunderclan) really helped fulfill his own fears by isolation and mistrust and drove cats away like Tawnypelt and Darkstripe and he even says himself that their doing that is what causes it and tries to warn the elders about doing it to tawnypelt but by then it's already too late

Idk I'm only into the start of the third series but I will say that tigerstars death and Darkstripe and hawkfrost still haunt me like poor Hawkfrost I imagine his father learned his powers around the time he was becoming an apprentice and brought him to the dark forest in his dreams to teach him early on too I don't think he ever stood a chance with his father always in his ear Hawkfrost was really never more than the ghost of his father's ambition and anger haunting the lake and he died in a brutal way (though not as brutal as his father's death) but it was so poetic bc he literally kills himself with his own anger and ambition had he not tried to kill his brother finally impaling himself on the fox trap he would have lived instead of drowning in his own blood

It is heartbreaking that Hawkfrost really breaks his sister and her faith in starclan and I always wonder does that mean she'll never walk with her ancestors when she dies then? Will she walk a different place like those that believe in different ancestors or will she walk nowhere bc she believes in nothing ?

I still stand by Hawkfrost and Mothwing as two of the coolest clan names in the book

Anyways this has been a long rambling migraine fueled post to say I'm having such a good time with the series the series

[leqclerc]

hi hola hello!

first of all i wanted to apologize for the veryvery intensive spam 😭 initially i was looking for a specific moment/gifset and thought i'd have more luck finding it on your blog 'cause you're kinda one of my # charles archives tumblrs but i had no idea where to start looking (picture me typing in random '/page/20' 'page/100' thinking it'll just magically appear) so i just gave in and let myself be distracted by your content

(and went down a painful memory lane) (browsed through some of your posts pointing out ferrari's fucked up strategies and lack of critical thinking and it's good to know that they're still in the trenches) (rip)

which ,, know that your edits really are: everything

they're genuinely premium quality and creative and so well made and you're a blessing to this fandom okay

i enjoy the regular gifsets from races and vlogs and all like a lot but your quotes/lyrics/themed edits are just fucking beautiful (annnnd painful like if i were crazy about sebchal i definitely would have 10 mental breakdowns a day because of you) (but like your pinned drives me insane)

you deserve some charles &seb content as a treat to your contribution to this fandom (and for your sanity most likely) (and as payback for hurting everyone with your talent and ideas)

anyways i'm very sorry again i hope you do not have your notifications on for likes 🙂‍↕️ (and sorry in advance for when i’m gonna reblog all of it!) and lastly your icon is the prettiest ever

Hello, hello 👋🏻

This is soooooooo 😭❤️ *prints this ask out and hangs it on the wall* Thank you for taking the time to send this in, it's genuinely so lovely to receive asks like this ❤️

Second of all, okay, in this house we love and approve of mass like/reblog spams👏🏻 So no worries there!! Honestly I love seeing which posts of mine people have liked or reblogged, especially if it's an older gifset or something and it makes me rediscover it as well and I'm like "oh yeah that was a thing, let me go back to that real quick."

🫱🏻‍🫲🏻Same, my pinned also makes me go insane. Sometimes I feel a bit silly for still having very emotional visceral reactions or deep intensive thoughts about something that happened four or five years ago (the passing of time is cruel and unjust) but then messages like this make it all worth it ❤️ Thank you for your kind words 😭 I'm very, very, very happy you enjoyed your stay and also 👀 looking forward to the reblog spam!

Also, if there's ever anything specific you (or anyone else tbh, this is a general PSA) might be looking for, feel free to shoot me an ask and I'll see if I can help! Like please, I literally have '/page/20' 'page/100' and various random tags and/or words in the search bar of my own blog 😭😭😭 Not to mention the gigabytes upon gigabytes of clips and screen recordings and interviews and an assortment of Youtube videos just sitting on my drive; some stuff I've edited, some stuff I meant to use for edits and haven't gotten around to it yet, and some stuff I just want to keep around for reference or to enable my own insanity ajsdfk So if there's ever anything, I'd be happy to help in any way I can!

Anyway, thank you again, hope your day is wonderful, hope your pillow is cold on both sides, etc etc etc❤️