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bvidzsoo · 1 year ago

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Grease and Oil

⨳Mechanic!Mingi⨳

TW: cursing, smut wrap it before you tap it

Word count: 5,6k

A/N: I don't think I'll ever let go of bleached spikey haired Mingi. It changed something in me, I'll never be the same. I have nothing to say except...why did I even write this? Song Mingi stop haunting me, thank you. It's not the best, but the best I can write lol. Feedback is very much appreciated!

The smell of grease, oil, and gasoline weren’t something unfamiliar to me, nor were they nauseating. It was something I was used to. These were familiar scents; scents which I have started associating with home. Cars, too, were something I associated with a feeling of familiarity, of something dear to me. Walking inside my father’s car service was like a second home, a place I knew like the back of my hand. I wasn’t huge on fixing cars, but I knew a few things here and there. Despite my father’s attempts at making me a great mechanic one day, I struggled to understand the in-depth parts and mechanism of a car, therefore I settled on appreciating their beauty. Can’t say my father was too happy about it, but his concerns faded away when I found a path for myself. I applied to a college, choosing to study literature as I struggled finding anything else I liked. Perhaps creative writing was a subjected I happened to enjoy too, but I had no idea where my degree would take me one day. I had no intentions of teaching English literature, the children these days were awful and very disrespectful. My short temper would’ve surely gotten the worst of me if placed in a situation where I had to deal with rude kids. And so, I settled on reading my books and pouring my feelings out into short poems when I wasn’t at college. Or by wasting my time away at my father’s car service. It’s not like I had anything better to do—I actually did, but procrastination is my best friend. Besides, most of his employees are above the age of thirty-five, and two of them I have known since I was a little girl, they could be really fun to hang around…and it’s not like I would often stop by because my father has an employee who is barely a few years older than myself. And it’s definitely not because he is the hottest man alive I have ever seen. He’s a tall and lean guy, his posture immaculate with his shoulders always pulled back, his long legs worth envying and shoulders so broad you could hide behind them and nobody would see you. In the summer, he usually wears tight tank tops, showing off his humble muscles, biceps finer than most guy’s of his age. And his pants, which are fireproof, cling onto his body, showing off his narrow waist. This guy was a sight for sore eyes and I couldn’t blame the few ladies who would occasionally stop by, completely taken aback by this guy’s visuals. It wasn’t fair that he had a perfect body, especially when his face was good-looking too. God sometimes had favorites and Song Mingi definitely was one of them with his long nose, sharp eyes and cherry red lips, a singular mole underneath his left eye decorating his flawless skin. His personality also made him desirable and that just made him a dangerously charming and handsome human being. Perhaps my frequent visits to the service during the summer were sort of his merit too, not just the want to spend some quality time with my father as he spent little time at home. I knew he was busy; I couldn’t blame him. His service was one of the best in our little town and money didn’t just magically appear, you had to work hard for it and that’s what he did, he worked his ass off all the time. The fact that he has employed Song Mingi was just the cherry on top, the little motivation I needed to perhaps learn more about cars.

I was settled on top of my father’s working desk, tools pushed to the side, feet dangling as I watched him work on a car’s engine, getting more and more furious by the second as he couldn’t find one missing screw. I watched quietly as his phone rang again, making him sigh loudly before he straightened himself up and took the call, eyebrows furrowed. It was a hot summer day, the AC did little to nothing inside the hot service, and the use of different electrical tools only created more heat inside the spacious room. I had started fanning myself, overhearing my father make an appointment as an obnoxiously loud engine whirled past the entrance to the service, making my heart skip an excited beat. It was lunch break, and Mingi had just returned from eating his meal. He was gone by the time I had arrived; I was rather lazy this morning and thus didn’t bother getting out of bed before 12 pm. My father turned towards me as he finished his call, looking rather irritated. It wasn’t directed at me; however, I still knew a lecturing would follow because I sat on his tool desk…again.

“Get off, Y/N, I asked you so many times not to sit there,” He sighed tiredly as he headed for the exit, “I have to examine a car, are you coming to the front?”

Certainly not before I have seen Mingi, “I’ll wash my hands first, they feel slimy, meet you at the reception, dad.”

He nodded once and hurried outside, phone already ringing once again. Summer seasons were always busy, work pilling up quickly. I started fanning myself with my hands as another heatwave hit me, making me sigh. Not even a tank top and shorts were enough to stop me from sweating buckets. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders and gripped the table, about to jump off it, when the man I stayed behind for finally showed up. He walked through the open garage door, having to duck as it wasn’t raised enough for his towering height. He had his back to me as he walked inside, carrying two boxes, muscles of his arms bulging as a few guys greeted him, instructing him where to place the boxes. However, nothing could’ve prepared me for the wave of shook which rooted me to my spot. My mouth hung open as my eyes remained trained on Mingi, and I could only hope nobody noticed my shameless gaping. Three days ago, when I have stopped by last, the man’s hair reached his shoulders almost and was a faded light brown. Now, his hair was completely bleached blonde and stood up in all places, spikey. A hairstyle definitely shouldn’t have made my tummy do flips, yet I had nothing to swallow as I watched Mingi laugh with a fellow mechanic, explaining something to him animatedly. His black tank top was tucked inside his beige pants, a black belt holding it against his hips securely. A black bandana was tied to his left bicep and I licked my lips as my eyes ran over his frame, stopping for a second too long on his ass. Perhaps crawling onto the wall sounded like the most normal thing to do right now. Just as I was about to look away, the man he was talking to briefly glanced at me and Mingi suddenly turned his head, eyes falling on me. Looking away right now would mean admitting that I had been staring at him, so I forced myself to smile nonchalantly at him and blame the flush on my cheeks on the extremely hot weather—which combined with Mingi’s presence only made my body heat up even more. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I’d do anything to get railed by Mingi while he wore his working clothes with grease smeared on his cheek. My heart skipped a beat as a lazy smirk appeared on his lips as he took off towards me, making me gulp in panic as I straightened my posture.

“Hello, princess.” He called once he was close enough and I rolled my eyes at the nickname, acting as if I totally hated it. It did bother me at the beginning when he started calling me that, but I didn’t mind anymore. And it certainly shouldn’t have made me blush.

“Hi, Mingi.” I greeted him back, smiling as I crossed my legs and leaned forward, holding myself up by my hands. My knuckles hurt from the grip I had on the table, but I ignored that.

“What brings you here today?” He asked nonchalantly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I didn’t want to look, but his biceps were bulging and I’m just a simple woman, “Thought you washed your car when you stopped by last time.”

Ah, yes, the good old excuse of washing my car when it didn’t need washing yet. To be fair, I had a cleaning problem so that was the main reason why I washed my car so often, Mingi being here was just another thing to motivate me to stop by more frequently.

“I did, I’m not here for that.” I admitted, clearing my throat as Mingi’s sharp eyes narrowed slightly, mischievous glint appearing in his eyes. He hummed shortly, the sound deep in his throat, reminding me how hot I found his raspy and deep voice. He had once whispered in my ear as he snuck up on me, wanting to scare me, and I swear to God, I almost reached Heaven that day.

“Are you here for me then?” The cute pout of his lips and the finger he pushed against his cheek definitely didn’t match the sultriness of his words and the look in his eyes. It made me take a deep breath as I forced myself to roll my eyes, embarrassed that he had a feeling I was only here to see him. I mean…I did wear my favorite off-shoulder top just because I knew we would see each other.

“Why the sudden change of hairstyle?” I decided to change the subject, but it only made Mingi smirk as he looked at me almost victorious, almost as if he knew I didn’t answer him because he was right. Mingi ruffled his already spikey hair with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Just wanted something new,” He answered, “besides, it’s so hot these days, my long locks only made me sweat more. I feel like a new man right now. What do you think, do I look nice?”

Nice was little said, I would’ve described him more like: hot, sexy, attractive, gorgeous, mouth-watering, “Yeah, you look nice. It suits you.”

Mingi smiled happily and bowed lightly before his phone beeped. I didn’t understand how a man like him could be so cute while looking like a Greek God. My eyebrows slightly furrowed as I watched Mingi chuckle and smile down at his phone, quickly typing something on it. Perhaps he was seeing someone? Of course, why would a man like him be single? It shouldn’t come as a surprise; I should have thought about that sooner. But then again, he never mentioned a significant other. With a sigh, I jumped off the table and dusted off my shorts, running my hands through my hair. Mingi paused, looking up at me through his long lashes. I forced a smile on my face, suddenly discouraged by my own thoughts, as I grabbed my phone off the table.

“Got to go, dad’s waiting for me.” I mumbled as Mingi’s eyes slightly narrowed, eyes swiftly running over my body. He nodded wordlessly and I turned around, taking off towards the exit.

“That top looks really nice on you.” My steps halted for a second as I looked back at him and chuckled before exiting the garage, walking towards the reception, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach at the simple compliment. I should probably download a dating app and find someone available to obsess over.

The blaring music and blinding disco lights in the living room were becoming too much as my tipsy head swirled around like a disco ball, throat parched up and dry from the lack of water. Certainly the amount of alcohol I have had was enough for the night as I pushed people out of my way, slightly wobbling as I headed for the kitchen, desperately needing water. A super rich guy from college threw a huge ass party and invited some guys over from our college, one of them being one of my close friends. I wasn’t one to turn down a good party, and when the alcohol was free, I would certainly attend it. Seonghwa and I had teamed up and played beer-pong together, kicking Wooyoung and San’s asses, but losing to Hongjoong and Yunho. We should have known better not to challenge those two competitive monsters. All in all, the night was fun and after having lost Sooyoung to some hot guy, I hit the dancefloor with Wooyoung and San, the three of us dancing our hearts out to every song. After a while, I grew concerned and started calling Sooyoung, making my two dancing companions almost take my phone away after six missed calls. But it didn’t take long for Sooyoung to finally text me, telling me she was upstairs with a Yeosang named guy smoking some weed, and that she’d be down in no time. I rolled my eyes at the text, huffing as I handed Wooyoung my phone to take care of. My skirt had no pockets and I forgot to bring a fanny-pack, I have grown tired of holding my phone, Wooyoung’s back pocket would do the trick until Sooyoung returned and I could give my phone for her to put in her little purse. The music wasn’t as loud in the kitchen as it was in the living room and it was also less packed, which made me grateful as I walked over to the window and pushed it open, smiling contently at the cool air which hit my face. I certainly needed to cool down. I grabbed a red cup which looked relatively unused and filled it with tap water, downing it in mere seconds only to fill it up again and again until I felt satiated. I threw the cup away and leaned against the counter, holding my thumping head in my hands as I closed my eyes for a second, thinking it would help. But it only made me more nauseous and I quickly opened my eyes as I massaged my forehead, still leaning slightly over. Somebody next to me asked if I was okay and I quickly nodded, telling them that I just needed a moment to regain composure again, and I’ll be off dancing once again. However, a weirdly familiar deep voice suddenly filled the kitchen, some high-pitched giggle following straight after the ridiculous joke the guy told. My nose scrunched up at the very cheesy pickup line which followed and I snorted, unintentionally catching their attention as they didn’t stand too far away.

“Y/N?” The deep voice asked surprised and my eyebrows furrowed as I finally raised my head, smoothing down my hair as it fell in my face.

“Oh, Mingi.” I muttered just a little surprised by his presence here. I wondered how he knew about the party, however, the black-haired girl by his side was a tell-tale. She was a student at my college and she was pretty as fuck. I sighed, and unintentionally glared at her, unimpressed by her presence next to Mingi. It’s not like I knew her well to form an opinion about her, but personally, I didn’t like her that much. Especially since Mingi seemed to be here with her. My eyes fall back onto him and my brain blanched for a second, never having seen him outside of the car service up until now. Him not wearing his tight-fitting clothes was something new and I couldn’t help but let my eyes run all over his body, taking in the sight in front of me. He wore a loose-fitting white t-shirt, the front slightly tucked inside his grey ripped jeans which were baggy. He wore a black pair of convers, and a black fanny-pack was pushed around to his backside to not bother him. However, what made me take a second to process what I was seeing were his accessories. His necklaces were layered as he wore a red braided like material which sat snugly against the base of his neck, then a silver chain followed, and a silver cross which reached just bellow his collarbones. His wrists were decorated with silver chain bracelets, matching the chain around his neck and he wore various rings, some bigger than the other, his right-hand sporting four meanwhile his left three. If all of that combined with his hair wasn’t enough, his fingernails were also painted black, albeit already coming off in some spots, but still painted black. He was a sight for sore eyes and it took everything in me to not grip his arm and walk us upstairs, completely disregarding the girl he was here with.

And she just had to speak up, “Oh, you two know each other?”

“Yeah, her dad’s my boss.” Mingi answered before I could and I raised an eyebrow as the girl took me in, unexpectedly smiling at me as she placed an arm around Mingi’s shoulders. My jaw tensed subconsciously and I licked my lips as I leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“We go to the same college,” She told Mingi, offering her hand to me, “I don’t think we’ve ever really introduced each other, though. My name is Jennie, I’m Mingi’s cousin.”

“Cousin?” My eyebrows raised as I shook Jennie’s hand, “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Mingi playfully pushed Jennie off himself as he answered my question and Jennie just rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, giant, if I leave you alone with Y/N, will you behave?” She raised her eyebrows threateningly at Mingi and he just chuckled, raising his hands in surrender.

“I always behave.” He defended himself quickly, but sounded like he didn’t mean it at all.

“No, you don’t.” Jennie rolled her eyes then looked back at me, “I have to find my boyfriend, he’s somewhere here around, probably drunk off his ass. If Mingi bothers you, just knee him in the stomach really hard and come and find me, I’ll kick his ass for you—”

“I’m right here, you know.” Mingi rolled his eyes and ruffled Jennie’s hair, “Get lost before I chase you away.”

Jennie scoffed but walked away after she waved at me, leaving me alone with Mingi. My hostile behavior slightly dropped, but I couldn’t help look at Mingi with narrowed eyes. I knew what I heard while I was fighting the urge of throwing up. Why would anyone flirt with their cousin? That was disgusting.

“If Jennie is your cousin…why would you say a pickup line to her?” I couldn’t help but ask him accusingly. It made Mingi laugh as he stepped closer, smiling cheekily.

“Eavesdropping, weren’t you?” I opened my mouth to deny his claim, but Mingi didn’t let me, “First of, ew, that’s literally my cousin do I look like I fuck with family? And second, that pickup line was actually sent by someone whom I have been talking to, and I was just reading it to Jennie.”

“How many girls are you talking to currently?” The question tumbled past my lips before I could even think about it. I only could blame the alcohol for making me so straightforward and embarrassing.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” Mingi chuckled and stepped closer, invading my personal space. I gulped and pressed myself harder into the counter, hands coming to grip the edge of it. A smirk appeared on Mingi’s lips as he leaned down to be eye level with me, eyes searching my face before they settled on my lips briefly. My head was spinning and perhaps I was seeing things, but his tongue poked out for a second, “You look really hot.”

I gulped and let out a quiet breath, looking down at myself. The leather skirt clung onto me like a second skin and the flower decorated corset did little to nothing to cover what I would usually hide. It was Sooyoung’s idea to dress up like this, she wore a matching set except her corset was green meanwhile mine pink.

“Uh, thanks.” I whispered and didn’t dare move as Mingi lowered his head even more, looking through his lashes as he looked me in the eyes. He’s never stood this close to me before; it only now made me realize the height difference between us. And I couldn’t help but faintly smell gasoline despite his strong cologne.

“Dressed up for someone?” He muttered and I felt a warm finger lightly trace the skin of my right arm. I gulped nervously and ignored the goosebumps on my skin.

“I didn’t know you’d be here—” I tried changing the subject, it seemed to be a habit of mine lately.

“But if you did know, would you have dressed up for me?” Mingi’s raspy voice whispered in my ear as he leaned closer, my mouth opening without a sound coming out. My tipsy brain didn’t exactly know how to function in that moment and that meant I had nothing to say. But as he pulled back, we made eye contact, and his intimidating gaze pulled an answer out of me instantly.

“Yes.” I would totally hate myself in the morning for admitting that, but I couldn’t help myself. Not when he was standing so close and saying things like that. A smirk pulled onto Mingi’s lips and suddenly his hand raised as he gripped a strand of my hair lightly and twirled it around, brushing it behind my ear. I watched him mesmerized, body slightly trembling because of different things. The opened window brought in the chill breeze and we stood close to the it; Mingi’s closeness and touch made me want to crash my lips against his, and I was fighting every fiber in my body to stop myself from doing that, thankfully not tipsy enough to lose all rationality.

“I think I know about your little secret, princess.” Mingi’s tone was playful as he suddenly cupped my cheek and tilted my head back, hovering his face over mine, eyes tracing my features slowly. I hoped my red lipstick wasn’t smudged and that it would be smudged in no time.

“What secret?” I asked confused, biting my lower lip as Mingi’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, his fingers slipping towards my nape as his thumb pushed against my cheek.

“About your little crush—” He barely whispered, eyes on my lips as my mouth parted, heart beating like crazy, “on me.”

Before I could answer him, his teeth caught my lower lip between his and he sucked on the flesh, making my face flush as I mewled, hand holding onto his waist for more stability as the counter wasn’t enough anymore. He held eye contact as he released my lip and I felt like crumbling onto my knees and giving him anything he wanted as my grip tightened on him, head pulled closer to his by the grip he had on my nape. Mingi’s lips barely brushed against mine and I tried to close the impossibly little distance between us, but he just tsked and smirked.

“Good girls eventually get what they want, princess, be a bit more patient.” I couldn’t help but groan in frustration as Mingi released me and took a step back, smirking as he swiped his thumb over my lower lip, smudging my lipstick. I threw him a glare, but he just laughed and then turned around and walked off with a cup he grabbed off from the counter. I couldn’t help but lick my lower lip, pressing a palm against my racing heart as I tapped the sweat off my forehead, needing another cup of water to cool off.

And I didn’t even have to wait for too long. Four days after the party, my father asked me to stop by the car service because he couldn’t decide what color to choose for the tuning he was doing for one of his friend’s car. I couldn’t have been happier to stop by as I made it my personal mission to stay away from that place for as long as possible, embarrassed by what happened between Mingi and I at the party, but also because I wanted to torture him a bit too. I could only hope he yearned to see me as much as I yearned for him. My father was out, having to pick up some pieces in the nearest city, which was half an hour away, so that meant he’d be gone for approximately an hour and a half. Everyone was gone by now from the car service as working hours were over, everyone except Mingi, of course. He had to catch up on his work as he had to skip a day for some undisclosed business. And yes, Mingi should’ve been working right now on that old car nobody actually wanted to fix, but here he was, balls deep in my pussy, thrusting into me like his life depended on it. I guess he was just a simple man too, and he fell exactly into my trap as I walked through the garage door wearing my little sundress, high heels elongating my legs. It didn’t take long for Mingi to stop whatever he was doing as he dragged me to the backroom, where there were no cameras, and pushed up on the table, wasting no time in undressing himself and working up the both of us. My head was thrown back from the constant pleasure his movements brought, his length reaching places no one else has before, my right hand gripping his bare waist as I rolled my hips to meet his thrusts. Mingi was biting his lips hard, holding onto my hips as I had to hold myself up with one arm, muscle straining with each strong thrust. Perhaps I should have expected him to be vocal, but the whines he would let out every now and then only turned me on even more, dragging my own moans out of me. Grease stuck to his left cheek, just underneath his mole and his already sweaty body from working was glistening once again, smelling strongly of the substance he has been working with to clean rims of the old car.

“I bet you’ve been fantasizing about me fucking you covered in grease and all sweaty from the long day I’ve had.” My only answer was a loud moan as he hit the sweet spot which made me see stars, and for a second, all I could hear were his own pants and the table squeaking louder and louder with each thrust.

“You have no idea—” I moaned as I clenched around Mingi, mind blanching for a second as he hit that spot again, “How fucking hot you look—like this.”

My fingertips dug into his hips and Mingi suddenly leaned down, pressing my back flat against the wooden table, rotating his hips as he suddenly slowed down. My mouth opened in a gasp and my legs went around his hips, one hand tangling in his blonde spikey hair as the other went around his shoulders to anchor myself. Mingi groaned in my ear as I clenched around his length again, his thrusts painfully slow on purpose, making me try to move my hips, but he had me pinned down by his heavier body.

“Fuck, please—” My whine was muffled by his lips as he pressed them against mine, pushing his tongue past my lips as I kissed him hungrily, wanting to feel more and more of him. Our lips moved messily against each other as Mingi slightly quickened his pace, but it still wasn’t enough. My eyebrows were furrowed as it started becoming unbearable and I whined, pulling my head away and choking on my words for a second, “I’m going to fucking die if you don’t go faster.”

I couldn’t believe Mingi had the audacity to smirk as he bit my lower lip harshly, making me push his head away as he chuckled amused, fake pouting at me.

“Thought I said good girls get what they want—” He completely stilled, bringing tears into my eyes out of frustration as I gripped his nape, trying to move against him to no avail, “And you’re being rather impatient right now.”

But before I could say anything, the slightly stood up and pulled almost fully out before slamming in again, his pace relentless and thrusts sharp as he threw his head back, moaning, making me grip onto his lower arm as he hit my g-spot over and over again, making my back arch as broken moans left my lips, nails digging into his skin. I was going fucking insane as his thumb found my clit and he started rubbing circles on it, making me cry out as I felt my orgasm building up, ready to snap any second as Mingi’s moans got higher and higher, my walls clenching tightly around him, bringing him closer to the edge as well.

“Fuck.” He hissed at a particular sharp thrust, his hips almost stuttering but I managed to meet his movements, desperate for my own release as I clawed at the wooden table, back arching as the pleasure became unbearable and the knot in my stomach snapped, making me let out a high-pitched moan, only for Mingi’s lips to muffle it as his hips stuttered, his own release following mine, filling me up. My body trembled and my lungs heaved for air as I came down from the high, our lips touching with Mingi as we both panted into each other’s mouths. His scent was intoxicating and I couldn’t help but burry my head into his neck and lightly bite down on his perfect skin, making him shudder. He didn’t pull out yet and I felt him twitch slightly, making me chuckle.

“So, I’m hot when I’m all sweaty and covered in grease?” He spoke up, voice raspy, and his words made me laugh as I allowed my head to rest against the wooden table, throwing an arm over my eyes. I could feel Mingi’s smile as he pressed a kiss against the corner of my mouth, swiftly pulling out.

“I said it once, I won’t say it again.” I peeked at him as he quickly pulled up his boxers and tight pants, adjusting his tank top.

“If I knew all I had to do was change my hairstyle for you to finally let me fuck you—” Mingi shook his head as he helped me off the table, smirking when I had to lean against it for support, my legs having gone numb, “I would’ve done it a lot earlier.”

“Perhaps if you weren’t so oblivious,” I threw him a glare and pulled up my panties, adjusting my dress, “You would’ve noticed how badly I wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you, idiot.”

Mingi laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders as he pulled me into himself, “Now that that’s out of the way…do you want to date or do you want us to just fuck?”

His question made me pause as I looked up in his eyes, biting my lower lip in thought, “You want to go out with me?”

“I sure do.” Mingi said it like it was the most obvious thing, then he jutted his chin towards mine, “What about you?”

“What do you think?” I asked with a chuckle.

“That we should go for a second round—”

“Mingi!” I pressed my palm over his mouth and threw him a little glare, “My father could be back anytime, you know. And yes, I do want to date you. Unless you’re always this annoying.”

Mingi fake laughed as he pushed my hand off his mouth, “Aren’t you just so funny?”

I stuck my tongue out at him and he tried kissing it, making me yelp and push him away, which made Mingi giggle as he placed his hands in his pockets, “So, tomorrow at six?”

“But you better shower before you come pick me up.” I pointed a finger at him as we went to leave the room.

“I thought I smelled hot—”

“You can’t smell hot, so just—” I sighed and looked at him, “Just—dress up. You—I mean, you know, you looked really good at the party. I haven’t seen you out of your work clothes before.”

“Aw, aren’t you so shy right now and stuttering all of a sudden?” He cooed and poked my cheek, “As if I wasn’t inside you—”

“Y/N, you still here?!” I heard my father’s voice shout from afar and I threw Mingi a warning look as I pushed him away. He walked towards the car he had to fix defeated, throwing me those sad puppy eyes and a pout as my father walked inside the garage.

“Hi.” I waved at him and he smiled, glancing at Mingi.

“You can fix it tomorrow too, you know?” My father said as he went to put his own utensils away. Mingi hummed but said he didn’t have much until he was done, liar. My father glanced at me and I looked away from Mingi, smiling at my father innocently. He just shook his head and threw his keys at me, making me clumsily catch them.

“Go pick up your mother, I’ll stay behind and help Mingi fix the car.” He muttered tiredly as he walked up to my soon-to-be-boyfriend, oblivious to what Mingi would soon become to him as well. Not just an employee, but perhaps a part of our family too. I jokingly saluted my father as I stopped in the doorway, turning to look at Mingi, who was already watching me.

“Goodbye, Mingi.”

“Bye, Y/N.” Mingi tried to fight the smile off his lips as I turned around and ran off with a giggle, cheeks burning suddenly with embarrassment.

Good girls eventually get what they want, don’t they?

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deepestdelulu · 1 month ago

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Becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡

Honestly I´ve never been an A student, but I always try to do my best, and I´m very proud of myself, at least in this area of my life. So here I let you know my tips for studying, not getting bored (at all) and having great marks.

Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?

Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.

Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)

Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.

Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...

In Class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.

Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3

"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!

Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :) And remember you can always go talk to them privately.

No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...

After class ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3

Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)

Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...

Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)

Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done.

Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.

Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3

Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.

No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.

Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3

Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!

Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.

Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3

Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!

Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)

Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!

Music to set the mood. Make a playlist to study with, I have lots of them :)

Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...

Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

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deepestnightcolor · 3 days ago

Text

✩⁺₊✩☽⋆Kinkmas - 24th of December⋆☾✩⁺₊✩

ᴀ/ɴ: This is it, folks! The last door to open for you in this event. Thank you for sticking around or checking out a story here and there, I appreciate it all! If you celebrate Christmas - merry Christmas! Have some lovely and calm festivities! If you don't - have a lovely day, I hope it is relaxing enough and that you take good care of yourself!

A gentle reminder: when I write "Christmas" here, I am talking about the Feast of The Winterstar. I have to admit, I got a little sloppy after writing "Feast of the winterstar" so often. Please forgive me - and I hope you can enjoy nonetheless!

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: find out, dolls!

ᴡᴄ: depending how much you read

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: hints of sexual content

Sebastian: „The Feast of the Winterstar isn’t really my thing, you know? So many people, so many sounds, and you have to pretend to be…I dunno, a happy a little family, you know? Even though you aren’t really a happy little family, and you feel like an outcast. Look at this, me throwing a pity party for myself. But I promise, it’s going somewhere. I didn’t usually like it because I felt so misplaced, but this year, I didn’t. This was one of the first years where I looked forward to going, because I knew you would be my family, and I dunno, it felt so good. Okay, I have to admit, maybe that blowjob you gave me before helped. And maybe knowing that you were so full of my cum that you had to squish those thighs together in that little skirt did, too. I wonder how many people saw those hickeys, wonder how many knew you were absolutely pumped full…you took my cock so well, even though you knew we had to go, like you always do…I digress. Look at me, writing this card, trying to be all cute and sweet and even now when you are not even around (you are sleeping on the couch right now, I am going to carry you to bed later, promise) to distract me, you still possess my mind. I sometimes wonder if you know how much I love you. Probably not, because I often suck telling you, but I do. So much. You make this life a lot better, you know? You give me this sort of foundation I have always needed, and you know what? I am so happy to build up on it with you. The realization hit me hard today, when I didn’t feel that pit in my stomach when getting ready to go to the town square. When I didn’t just want to turn around and run for it, when I didn’t want to jump on my bike and just get out of there. It hit me even harder when I looked forward to talking to my family, because I could wrap my arm around you, and I knew I would be safe and appreciated. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but, uh, thank you. I love you, you little toad. I will put this card under your pillow now and pretend it was Santa who brought you your gift, because you can’t stop me. I love you. -Sebby”

Sam: “I haven’t written a card in aaaaaaaaaaaaagessssssssss, but I decided today was the day it needed to happen. Because I love you, baby, so, so much. You should have seen yourself in the square, holy fuck did you make my heart swell. That Winterstar sweater looked sooooo good on you, and the way your eyes glistened? Holy shit, you were prettier than the tree they put up, and I love that tree. But you know what else I love? You. You were so excited for your present, too, and I am sorry Clint gave you rocks. I hope my present is better. No, I am not talking about fingering you under the table while we ate, but that was fucking hot, right? You were fucking gushing for me, baby, so fucking sloppy. I know you were struggling to stay quiet, but I was struggling, too. Do you know how fucking hard my cock was? Oh, oops, I think I am getting off topic. I wasn’t talking about that present, I am talking about the one that’s under the tree (if you are not letting me open mine before tomorrow, I am not letting you open yours, either. Those are the rules (I am pouting as I write this)). I think you are going to like it, I saw you looking at it for a while now. And here you are thinking I don’t remember much (true), but if my baby likes something, I am sure as hell remembering. I hope it is going to make you happy. It won’t make you as happy as you make me, but at least a fraction of it? I can’t wait to see your face when you open it, I hope your eyes will keep that excitement you always get when you are opening presents, not like when you opened the rocks. I do have admit though, the look you gave Clint was hilarious. He’s a shitty secret Santa, isn’t he? But you aren’t. You don’t know it yet, but you have already given me the biggest gift possible, baby. I am not talking about the one under the tree. The days you spend with me are the sunniest of my life, and I can’t wait to spend more with you. I love you to the moon and back, you know that, right? Because I do. And I can’t wait to love you forever and always. -Love, Sammy”

Shane: “You know I am not the biggest fan of this. To be honest, I still think it’s humbug (I grew to like that word, though), but Jas told me that you give people you care about a card for Christmas, so. Yeah, surprise, I care about you. I hope you have noticed by now. Why do these cards even need so much glitter? I made you one so it wouldn’t look like a fucking unicorn threw up over it, but the glitter from those flimsy store things is still sticking to my hands, like, the fuck? I pet Charlie earlier and he fucking sparkled, and I don’t know how to get fucking glitter out of feathers. It’s not like I didn’t try. I even fucking googled, and now I get ads about little arms you can put on chickens… Reading back, I think I am trying to avoid getting to the point, but that’s not because of you. No, it’s because of me, because I am scared that if I write down what I feel, realization will kick in for you and have you run for the hills, but I just need you to know. I love you, I really do. I know I have been a little very mean to you in the beginning, so…thank you for persisting and not giving up on me. I honestly don’t think I could have ever gotten so far without you - I wake up and don’t just feel like complete shit. I go through my day without just thinking about getting drunk. When you were sitting across from me at the feast, I noticed that this was the first year I didn’t have some sort of alcohol with me. And when you smiled at me, I knew I wanted it to stay like that. I know I went a little rough with you there when we got home, but I just needed you to know, just needed you to feel how much you mean to me, how thankful I am for you. I don’t know what happened to me there, but it felt so right to just…pound it into you. But hey, the way you have scratched down my back and cried my name, I think you got the message. And if not, don’t you worry, I have enough time to make it stick. But I know you are waiting in bed for me right now, and I really want to join you, so… to cut this shit short (Sam would call it yapping, I think), I love you. A lot. -Shane PS: should we get little arms for our chickens?”

Harvey: “Hello, my love. I have decided that today is the best time to sit down and take some time to write this card for you. After all, winter is the time of consideration and love for others, isn’t it? And I have to say, I have so much love for you. I do not know how to tell you this, but I am simply going to try. You have brought so much new things into my life, it his hard to believe. I have always believed that I didn’t really like change, that’s why I opened my clinic in Pelican Town, after all. It promised me a slow pace and rituals, and, most importantly, rarely any changes. There are barely any people coming, barely any leaving. And then you came along, changing this town completely. And you changed it for the good. Just like you did with me. Hon, you made me leave the comfort of my bubble more than one time and in more times than one. You made me test my abilities, try out new things. I would have never gotten in that hot air balloon without you, for example. Would have never discovered that I love aerobics and dancing, and, to be honest, I wouldn’t know as much sexually about myself as I do know. You have allowed me to explore myself and gave me your safety. I didn’t know I had an oral fixation until I met you, if I am being honest, and I didn’t think I would enjoy going down on a woman as much as I do. Okay, well, maybe that is because of you. Your moans and gasps are just the sweetest, and I love the way you tug at my hair…Hoo, boy, I am blushing just writing this! I just wanted to sincerely thank you for showing me that I do not need to be as scared as I used to be. That it is okay to fall sometimes, to trust in the safety nets. I love you, my love. So, so much. I hope you will never forget this, and I hope you know: although you have shown me that change is okay – my love for you will never change in any other way than that it will grow for you. I love you. Yours truly, Harvey.”

Elliott: “The stars are shining bright upon us tonight, my sweet angel, the air is clear, and so is my head, but my heart? Oh, my heart is full of one of the rawest, strongest and most important emotions – love. And this love, my beautiful little angel, is directed to you. Sometimes I am asking myself how I, a mere commoner, so to speak, is deserving of such a carefully created being as you are. And then my thoughts cease, my tongue ties and my throat closes up out of nothing but the sheer fear that whoever was grateful enough to allow your love to be gifted to me will take this question as an offensive act of ungratefulness and take you away from me. What I am trying to tell you, angel, is, that I love you, wholly and completely, with each atom of my being, with every cell that keeps me alive, with every breath that fills my lungs, with every word I write, with every page I fill – I love you. Not only a day like the Feast of the Winterstar awake these strong feelings within me, no, it could be an ordinary day where I get to wake up next to you, your love-bitten skin just barely covered by a blanket, your hair all tousled, partly because of the sleep that still keeps you wrapped up tightly, partly because you have allowed me to make love to you. An ordinary day where I get to see your smile, get to see you is enough to alight this fire within me. If I am allowing myself to speak freely, even right now, just by writing this, I can feel my the warmth pool inside my stomach, can feel myself craving you in a way that is primal, and I know I could just turn around and please you, distract you from the book you are reading. But my angel, I won’t do so – not just yet. I first need you to know that your love, hopefully just as raw and ready to blossom like mine, is the biggest gift that has been ever gifted to me. No Winterstar could gift me something as dear as you, and I would never even dare to speak out another wish – as long as I have you. Please know, my angel, that you are my everything. My muse, my light, my reason to overcome writer’s block, my safe haven I will always be happy to return to. I love you. -Forever yours and fallen for you, Elliott.”

Alex: "Merry X-mas baby! You prolly know that I really suck at writing but this is our first X-mas together and I wanted to write you a card. because there are a few things I wanted to tell you you know? Like that I fell in love with you the moment you moved here and I fell fucking hard. Cheesy isn't it? But it's true. I don't really know how many nights I spent thinking about you. Okay to be honest, I didn't only think, I also busied my hand a little if you know what I mean ;) Just couldn't resist, you are just so pretty baby. So so pretty. Actually I can't wait to see you wearing that lil gift I got you. I think you are gonna like it but I am SURE you will like what I am going to do to you while you are wearing it. Can't wait to have my cock inside of you again baby it to be honest. I just love the face you make the moment I brush your cunt with my dick. Fuck that I love everything about you baby. Love everything you do when I plow you... I know I know, we already had our fun today, but I just can’t get enough of those moans. They are like my fucking fuel, you are my fuel. I dunno if I should tell you this, because I am actually a lil embarrassed about it, but do you know that audio I made of us fuckin? I sometimes listen to it when doin an especially hard workout because it makes me feel like I can do anything. I am drifting off right now right? I can't wait to spend this X-mas with you and many more to come because you actually make me look forward to it again. Christmas and the whole Winterstar season were so hard on me ever since my mom passed away, but you… you lift that gloomy cloud away from me. You make it feel like it’s going to be okay, and I am so thankful for that, baby. Damn, this season make me cheesy doesn't it? But to put it in a nutshell (I actually read that phrase in a book today are you proud of me now?): I love you, baby. ~Alex I actually did it I actually wrote a card can you fucking believe it."

Leah: “My sweet thing! Did I already tell you how cute you look in your little Winterstar sweater? Gives me the Christmas spirit in a way you wouldn’t believe! I absolutely loved how you told Evelyn what wool you were using to make it, even offering her some. You’ve just got the kindest heart in the valley, don’t you? You know I usually get artist’s block during the winter months, but when I saw down and looked at this piece of paper, it was like I just knew what I needed to do. And here we are, now that your Christmas card has dried, I can finally write in it, and I am going to use it to tell you that… I love you! What surprise, huh? Especially since I have given you that sculpture. But it is true, I love you. When we woke up together and slept together once more before getting ready…phew… I don’t know, I think I have never felt like this before. By the way, while we are at it, I definitely need you on my face again. There is just something absolutely breathtaking ( 😉 ) about you grinding against me so desperately while you are trying to eat me out… Look at me, sweet thing, already rambling and drooling over you again. But that is what you do to me… Sweet thing, you make me feel so genuinely happy and welcome here. I have always enjoyed my solitude in a way, fending for myself, being one with the nature, seeking out company only when I truly wanted it. But you showed me that there is another person I can rely on but myself, and for that I am thankful. You have opened your arms and your home for me whenever I needed either or both, and you are always believing in me, even when I had this dumb idea to sculpt a Winterstar tree with just cans. Yes, I will never drink that kinda wine again and yes, I remember that Shane blocked me because I spammed him trying to ask him for cans. But even though it was stupid and I was behaving like a maniac, you just smiled at me and got on your horse, telling me you’d fetch me some more cans. And you did. Thank you, love, for loving me, my art, and being a masterpiece yourself. I love you. -Leah. PS: I MIGHT HAVE AN IDEA HOW THAT TREE MIGHT ACTUALLY WORK OUT."

Maru: “Well, Christmas cards certainly aren’t my usual way of communicating, but I figured why not try out something new for once? You know I am all for trying out new things, especially if they make the world a better place. And if this makes your day a little better, then I am already one step closer to that goal. Was that cheesy? I think it was. I cannot believe what you are doing to me; ME, a clear-minded, well-structured scientist, being cheesy and absolutely whipped for you. It is true – I am. I do not what you did to me, but it did work. Every single day I wake up thankful to have you, and not only because you are such a willing little guinea pig (which you are, may I add. But you are my favourite <3). I remember when we had slept together that first time. It was NOT that I was a virgin, but… you made me feel things I didn’t quite think I could feel. I was actually feeling like you wrapped me up in cotton candy when you whispered these sweet things to me, and I didn’t think that was humanly possible (just to be clear, it is not!). With every kiss that you placed on my skin, with every thrust of your fingers, I was falling deeper, deeper, deeper and I absolutely did not want it to stop. I still do not. Is that greedy? Perchance. Do I mind that much? No, because it is with you. And here we are, just coming back from the Feast of The Winterstar, and I can’t wait to give you your gift. You had told me you had wanted to wait until the morning to exchange them, like you don’t know how impatient I can get. I just cannot wait to see your face when you open it up. You know, I probably have hidden it so well, but I actually am trying to support your farm with my machines. I build most of the farm helpers with you in mind. I am only telling you this because it is Christmas, though! Still. I love you. I love you really, really much, and I truly enjoy loving you. I know I sometimes might have an odd way of showing it, but now it is here, spelled out clearly, and I am happy it is. Because you deserve to now. Merry Christmas. -Your love loving you, Maru. PS: Did you know that the tradition of the Winterstar has a quite interesting origin?”

Emily: “It’s CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! I can’t believe this beautiful time of year is already supposed to be over again ☹. It always moves by so fast, doesn’t it?! Especially now that I have you by my side – it was like it had gone in a blink! One day we were cuddling on the couch watching this sweet little Christmas movie, and the next we were already at the Feast! Thank you for dancing with me, by the way. I enjoyed it a lot, even though we might have put a little show on for everyone 😉. Do you think they saw that I was not just dancing with you, but basically humping that sweet little butt of yours? Do you think they knew we were all over one another as soon as we stepped through the door. Yoba, you were so wet from just a little grinding! Okay, maybe a more than a little grinding, but your panties were drenched! But that’s okay, I was just as wet as you. I always get like this around you; it is like I just can’t get enough. You are so intoxicating! I have always known that, though, I could feel your vibes the first time we met and they were AMAZING! They still are, of course, but they also grew a lot stronger. I hope you know how happy the spirits are with you, my little butterfly! You just wouldn’t believe how happy I am that our spirits get to intertwine like this! I see them in my dreams sometimes, they are a strong unit. I wish I could take you along into that world more often, but it can be hard to channel all these emotions sometimes… Oh, my butterfly, I am just so happy to have you. I love you so much. It feels like colours are brighter with you around, even now in winter! I just can’t wait to see again what the other seasons are going to look like with you. And I can’t wait to spend another winter with you, another Christmas. I know that’s a little early, isn’t it? But with you, the future seems a lot tastier. Albeit now I would like to enjoy the present, because you are smiling at me, telling me we should share some Winterstar cookies. To many more present moments, butterfly. -Hugs and kisses, Emily.”

Haley: “Babe, thank you so, so much for encouraging me to take my camera with me today. Me being a summer girlie makes it hard for me to see the appeal in winter, but I actually got some decent shots today. You definitely need to check them out later when I developed them! But I have to say, even though those pics are pretty, they aren’t my favourite. No pictures can beat the ones I have of us, they are my favourite and will always be. Actually, well, there might be a set of pics that can beat those as well, hehe… Remember when you allowed me to make you my little model? You looked so pretty in that lingerie set. I am looking at one of those pictures right now, and I would be lying if I said that they didn’t do something to me. You just have a way to pose that makes me a little envious. Not much, though, because those pics are for me and me only. But the one where you grin at me with those hooded eyes…you just knew exactly what were you doing, weren’t you? Who knew a dirty little farmer had it in her? 😉 But look at me, rambling about photos again. I actually wanted to write you a Christmassy card, tell you how much I love you. But you know that, right? I know I was a little…judgemental in the beginning, but you know that you have found your way in my heart? Yoba, that was lame. Okay, you see, I struggle a lot putting these feelings into words because they are such…big feelings (jeewhizz, I sound like Emily), but…Let me try this differently. I am with you. I enjoy being with you. I love every day that we are together. You mean more to me than my camera, sunflowers and pink cake combined. There! I said it! And now I expect you to hold this card dear and never lose it, because I will not say this again. So, maybe I will, if you ask me. Or maybe right now, when you are sleeping so sweetly, your hair falling just right. How do you always manage this, getting your hair to fall like you are starring in an advertisement for freaking conditioner? You know what? That’s it. I am getting the camera, and then I am joining you. Merry X-Mas, babe. I love you. -Haley.”

Abigail: “I just don’t get how you do it. Really, I don’t. I watched you all night, and I am pretty sure your smile didn’t falter even once. Not even when my dad told you that stupid joke – “What did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.” Ha ha, dad, really. See, it’s so stupid I even remember it by heart! Hey, I can’t deny that my parents love you, tho. Well done, I think you can sit at our table until the end of time now, sharing my fate. Fine, it wasn’t all that bad. I was having fun. A little. You made it better, you know? I felt like I finally had someone next to me that actually understands me. You always understand me, and I know you do. Speaking of…Yoba, if my parents only knew that you have taken me to the mines already you would lose that hard-earned spot at that damn table again. Especially if they knew what else we were doing down there… Oh, it gets me weak in the knees to just think about it. You were so rough with me… I know it was because you were worried because I wasn’t careful enough, but being choked against a stone wall? That was definitely something…Actually, I still remember that I had been barely able to walk back to the farm after you were done with me. What do you say? Does the handle of your sword still smell like me? I kinda wish it does… But it’s best if we keep this our pretty little secret, right? So you can keep the spot at our table and so that you can still take me to the mines. And perhaps so they can still let us be together with calm minds. I wish that I could tell you that I look forward to spending many more Christmases with you, but that would be a lie. I do hope to spend many days with you, and that you can make many more Christmases a tolerable experience like today. You know, you mange to make many things that I hate tolerable. So…Thank you. Truly. I know I am a lot sometimes, but please know that I love you. A lot. A crazy lot. And I would do a crazy lot for you. But for now, I am going to crawl in bed with you. See what you say to the present purple-haired Santa will bring you tonight. Good night, bub. -Your Abby. PS: I could have totally beaten that slime myself. PPS: probably.”

Penny: “Do you remember last winter? We weren’t together yet, but we still shared a moment that is still very dear to me, hun. I had dropped my bookmark into the snow, it was a papery one, beige at that, so looking for it was a lost cause. You had come by on your horse and without any hesitation, you had jumped to help me. Of course, we didn’t find that bookmark ever again, and I had been really sad, it had been my favourite. You had told me you were sorry and stroked over my hair oh so gently, as if it had been your fault. Oh, I had already been swooning for you, then! And then the next day you had come by, smiling at me as you held something behind your back. You had told me that Santa had passed by early before you stretched out something, a Poppy, carefully pressed and wrapped in a foil to secure it. I didn’t know how you had done it back then (now I know you like growing flowers in your greenhouse, and I love sitting there), but I kept it dear to me. I like to think that this was the point our relationship got its roots, and that’s why I will always hold that bookmark dear. When I looked at you at the Feast today, the bookmark came back to my mind, and I felt like a realization hit me. Our relationship – it is like a book. A carefully crafted romance by life. The only difference is that, while I love books, I have never been as involved in one as I am in this one. I am here for every single page, and I am eating them all up. No matter if they consist of our little reading ritual in the evenings, our date nights, the things you have taught me about living on the farming, our fights and… the spicier parts of our relationship, hi hi. I haven’t told this anyone, and I trust you keep this secret, but I did actually read some more…passionate books, but it never quite resonated with me. Until I met you. I don’t know what’s happening to me when we are naked, I am usually well composed, I think, but when you let me sit on your thigh, or when you guide our…ehe…you know, to grind against one another, something happens in my brain. It’s like a short-circuit, and I find myself wanting more, more, more. Ever since I have met you, I have also been feeling a lot more…lustful. But only for you! I tried to replicate these feelings you give me by reading books a few times, but I have never managed to do it. Weird, isn’t it? However! This isn’t y main point – my main point is that I love you. I love you more than a library of a million books holds words. I hope our personal book will fill more and more. I hope we will be able to fill our own personal library. I just want you to know: You are my favourite; book, topic, genre. It doesn’t matter. You are my favourite. ~With purest love, Penny.”

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sophrosynesworld · 7 months ago

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With all my love, pt. 3

Part 3 is finally here and *gasp* lore?!

Do you know how hard it is to escape your top 5 pro-hero ex-boyfriend? His voice plays on my radio during my commute. His image is plastered across the news in the lobby this morning before lunch—he’s acting irrationally again. He’s always been too much of a hothead.

His recent heroic deeds have garnered both admiration and scrutiny. My departure seems to have affected him, causing some of his harsher traits to resurface. I never anticipated that he would notice, let alone react like this.

"I don't care if he's a jerk. Dynamite is one of the best heroes of this generation," I overhear one of the news anchors saying. The radio in the small restaurant makes it hard to miss.

"Dynamite is one bad decision away from killing someone," the woman says, clearly frustrated with her cohost. "I don't even know if it would be on accident."

"He has saved more people this year than Deku. How is that not a hero?" the cohost argues back.

"He's also cost this city thousands of man-hours repairing the damage his blasts created."

I set my tablet down, trying to push their argument out of my head. The familiar chime of bells rings, drawing my gaze to the doorway.

A redhead stands there, his eyes scanning the restaurant until they find mine. His face softens as he makes his way over, pulling out a chair and sitting across from me.

"You look good today," he says warmly. "Changed your hair?"

"No, but I did change my relationship status." I roll my eyes at his attempt at small talk. I know my ex-boyfriend's best friend didn’t just call me up to chat.

He chuckles, a sound out of place given the tension. “Look, I know things have been rough for you.”

“Rough? That’s putting it mildly.”

He leans forward, elbows on the table. “I want to help. He’s worried about you, you know.”

I sigh, glancing at the drawing in front of me. “He wasn’t worried when I was crying myself to sleep.”

“I get it,” he says softly. “But he’s struggling too. The hero life isn’t as glamorous as it seems. You know that better than anyone.” My heart skips a beat at the reminder of my early retirement. “The constant pressure, the expectations... it’s taking a toll on him.”

I look up, meeting his eyes. They hold sincerity, a genuine concern I hadn’t expected. “What do you want from me?” I whisper.

“Talk to him. Just once. Hear him out. You both deserve that closure.”

I lean back, the weight of his words settling over me.

“Fine,” I say after a long pause. “I’ll talk to him. But this doesn’t mean anything beyond that.”

He nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “That’s all I’m asking. Thank you.”

He settles back into his chair and picks up the menu. "Why don't we order something?"

I nod, grateful for the change in topic. "Sure. I hear their ramen is amazing."

We browse the menu, tension easing as we focus on the food. The waitress comes by, and we place our orders—spicy miso ramen for me, tonkotsu ramen for him.

As we wait, the restaurant buzzes with lunchtime chatter. Clinking utensils, humming conversations, and occasional laughter create a comforting atmosphere. It feels almost normal, a brief break from the chaos.

“So,” he says, breaking the silence, “how’s work? Still drawing those amazing designs?”

I smile, appreciating his interest. “Yeah, hectic, but I’m managing. Deadlines are killer, though.” He laughs as our waitress places two bowls in front of us.

“I can imagine. But your work is worth it. You’ve got talent, always have.”

“Thanks,” I say, feeling more at ease. “How about you? How’s hero life?”

“It’s... a lot,” he admits, mouth full of food. He swallows. “But it’s worth it, knowing we’re making a difference." I hum in agreement, tasting my food. The flavorful broth dances across my tongue, making me do an unconscious happy dance.

"We really do miss you though," Kiri says, his voice trailing off as he scratches his neck. I feel a pang of remembrance. I've never stopped missing being a hero. I hate not being able to work with my best friends.

"I don't get a retirement package as a hero," I reply, forcing a smile to mask my heartache. But it's clear my facade fails as regret fills Kiri's eyes. Apologies spill from his lips, but I don't listen. Instead, I reach out and gently place my hand on his for a brief moment.

"Eijiro, I promise you I've moved on. I don't blame anyone for what happened," I assure him, pushing another smile onto my face. "I got over that a long time ago."

I withdraw my hand and continue to eat, the conversation flowing more easily after a few moments. We reminisce about our days at UA, share laughs about our coworkers, and for a while, it feels like old times.

By the time we finish, I feel lighter, the past weeks’ weight lifting slightly. It’s not a solution, but it’s a start.

“Thanks for meeting me,” he says as we stand to leave. “and for agreeing to talk to him.”

I nod, a sense of anticipation blooming. “We’ll see how it goes.”

As we step out into the city’s noise, I unblock his number from my phone and watch in horror as hundreds of missed messages flood my phone screen.

#my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #bak #mha bakugou #mha x reader #bnha #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #mha kirishima #bnha eijiro kirishima #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou #mha #bakugo katsuki

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tarotbydelilah444 · 8 months ago

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a love letter from your mother to you

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and new mothers around the world. You are loved and appreciated for all that you do from being a strong woman to being a mother to all, and you do it all with beauty & grace. Thank you for all that you do and that you continue to do. We love you! This message is to meant to apply to everyone, no matter who raised you, or you consider as your “mother.”

pile one • 💐

dearest one, my life was complicated and a mess when you came into my life. I went through a lot of changes when I found out about your existence. I had to come to terms with some harsh realities and learn from my many many mistakes in order to be the best parent that I could be for you, and it wasn’t always easy as I made it seem. You made me a better person. You gave me a second chance to do the right thing when everybody doubted me, and for that, I am eternally grateful for your existence in my life. You taught me valuable lessons and things I never knew that I was capable of. You taught me how to be a mature, patient, humble, and selfless human being and mother. Although I endured a lot of challenges when you came into the world, I do not regret a single thing, and given the chance, I would do it all over again. I am so proud of you and everything you have manage to accomplish in your life. Everybody knows how proud I am of you, and if it was possible I would scream to the top of my lungs, so that the entire world knows how proud you have made me as a parent. Baby, I want you to know that I will always be there to support you whenever you need me, you can always count on me when no one else is there, so don’t hesitate to lean on me when you aren’t feeling too strong. My favorite thing about you is your ability to rise above adversity. You are so resilient and you never allow anything or anyone to keep you down for too long. You just dust yourself off, get back up, and try again and again until you reach the stars. Now at times, you can be a bit of a perfectionist and way too hard on yourself, and I want you to know that it is okay to take a step back and give yourself grace because everyone needs a break every once in a while. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are still the best in my eyes, no matter what anyone says or does. My precious child, the best trait that you inherited from me was your drive and determination to go after your dreams & aspirations. I’ve always known since the day you were born that you were going to do amazing things and be more successful than I ever was. You are truly the best parts of myself, and you are everything I could possibly ask for. I am so proud to be your mother.

sincerely

- your mama

pile two • 🌷 my sweet precious baby, I was so excited when you came into the world. I have always dreamt about how my family would look one day and I always dreamt of your precious face and how much love I would shower you in. You brought so much joy and happiness into my life at a time when I really needed it. Before you were born, I struggled to find purpose and balance in my life. I was constantly juggling my passions in one hand, and my priorities in the other. When you arrived, I immediately felt that you were not only my purpose, but my reason. I knew right away that I needed to make some changes in my life and do things that would make me happy. Your birth taught me how to give myself grace and how to take joy in the little things and never take anything for granted. You are my muse, my inspiration, and my pride and joy. I love you with all my heart and soul. Do you know what I absolutely love about you? I absolutely love your generosity. You have such a big heart and you are always willing to help out anyone that you see, but sometimes, I do wish that you be more careful and aware that not everyone has good intentions, or want the best for you. I also want you to be more comfortable in saying “no” to others instead of always trying to please others. You cannot pour from a empty cup, my dear. I love that you are so determined and goal driven. You never have to be forced nor told to get up and go after what you want in life, and for that I commend you for that. You are not one to accept losses because you understand that life presents challenges and you won’t always win every single battle, but you learn and accept the lessons that have been given to you with each challenging task, which in my opinion, makes you the strongest person I know. Last but certainly not least, I am grateful that you inherited my intelligence and curiosity for all things in life. You can be a bit of a overthinker and tend to worry over the littlest things, but I want you to know that everything is going to work out just fine, and there is no need to worry about every little thing, just enjoy this ride called “life”. I adore that you don’t follow the crowd and that you march to the beat of your own drum. You weren’t created to fit in, but pave your own path, no matter what anyone says, they are just intimidated by your uniqueness. Don’t ever try to fit into anyone box, and continue to be true to yourself. yours truly, - your mama

pile three • 💐

my miracle child, you have no idea how much I am grateful for your presence in my life. You are everything that I could’ve ever imagined and I am beyond honored that you chose me to be your mommy. I prayed so many times for your arrival and I promised that I would always shower you in so much love since the day you came into my life. When I found out about you, I cried and jumped for joy because there were so many people that told me that I wouldn’t become a mother, but I never listened nor did I give up the fight. I pleaded and prayed to the Lord that he would bless my womb and heart with your beautiful soul, and he listened and delivered such a beautiful and wonderful human being. You are my best and greatest achievement in my life, and nothing could ever compare with you. I made a vow to God, that I would always love and treasure you for the rest of my life. I love you with every fiber of myself. I love that you are such a passionate and creative person. Your optimism is so inspiring and refreshing. I absolutely adore that you have such a zest for life, please don’t ever lose it even when life presents its challenges. Your smile and laughter brings me so much bliss and happiness. You manage to bring a smile to my face, even when I am going through a rough time, and for that I am eternally thankful. You are truly my best friend and I am so in love with being your mama. I am so happy that I have been blessed to watch your growth and be apart of every single stage. I am so proud of the person you have become today and you are the greatest child and best friend I could have possibly asked for. I am so glad that you inherited my perseverance. Your ability to keep going despite there being obstacles and difficulties in your path. Your resilience is admirable and you handle your challenges with so much grace. I’ve always known since you were born that you were meant for greatness and that you would accomplish so much life. My angel, I truly admire your independence, grit, intelligence, reliability, and nurturing spirit. with all my love, - your mama

#pac reading #tarotbydelilah444 #channeled message #tarotblr #channeled song #channeled messages #pick a card tarot #tarot #motherhood #mother’s day #mother’s love #Spotify

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sherlockig · 1 year ago

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Hello my little grieving friends (aka my CREW!)

I just want to talk about how much our flag means death has given me. I have not had internet friends since i were a teenager. They all kind of disapeared over time in the same way as high school classmates went away. I have been on this blog on tumblr since 2010 and i have never experienced what ofmd has given me. Not even in my very derranged ca 5 year long sherlock-era did i get to befriend and know this many amazing people who live in my phone. Some of you have come and gone and that is life, but some of you are still here and I hope I get to keep you here for a very long time. Max can not stop us and I want to be here with you until tumblr is put down like the beloved rabid pet it is.

I think we are all taking the news very hard and I think it's important to remember what it is all about really. It's about love and family and above all else the crew so i just want to show some love for my beloved mutuals. And i hope maybe some of you will be inspired to do the same because its what we need in these dark times. We need to be a lighthouse guiding each other to shore.

First of all @gentlebeard - Ella💕 my beloved honey 🍯 I can not explain properly or even believe how lucky I am that I found you and that I get a little good morning from you every day. We have been talking every single day since the first message over a year ago and I don't remember or want to remember how i survived before that. I will treasure the time i spent drinking pina coladas on your balcony in the sun forever and i hope i will get some more time on that balcony this summer. I have found a pirate bar in Sweden so we can continue our expensive pirate drinks theme that we started in Berlin. There is no one else i want to spend 6-8 hours talking to over the phone.💕My partner in crime, lasagna partner and floor person or whatever nicknames we have come up with during this time. You are not just the perfect friend to have, you are also funny, sweet, smart and a expert at making fanvideos that make me cry my heart out and laugh my lungs up - sometimes at the same time 💕💕

@blakbonnet - Meow my darling💕 you were the first one i really started to talk to in the fandom and i am so glad i did. You brighten my days and i love talking to you you brilliant humanbeing (i often find myself thinking i have listened to much to cabin pressure because i struggle to use any other word than brilliant to explain things.. the Arthur runs deep in me) also thank you for being my personal skincare guide in life!! Your fics, your art, your edits, your gifs, your meta the whole you make my dash a better place and we are all happy to have you! There is nothing you are not good at and i am both a bit jealus and impressed by you. Its Meows fandom we all just live in it 💕💕

@youshouldseemeinadeerstalker - Nes my dear💕 We may not be talking very often but I know I always have you there. I loved our vacation together and we had so much to talk about that we didn't even realize that the same song kept playing in my car so long that it messed up my spotify wrapped. It was amazing taking naps with you outside ruins of castles and in botanical gardens and living together in the worlds smallest hotel room. I hope we can get lost together in more cities than Hamburg and Copenhagen. (preferably without rain and sickness and maybe with a map) 💕💕

@darkinerry - Marlena 💕 its a pleasure getting weather and work updates from you and i am always interested in knowing what you have been up to and what you have to say. It brightens my day, please never stop!! Your videos and gifsets can make any day better and you are always kind and funny which are two things i appreciate hugely in my friends!! 💕💕 + You have the coolest haircut out of all my mutuals 😌

@aha-my-villainous-thoughts - Ash my wife💕 my love💕Nothing can make me scream, blush and giggle as much as your fanart. You have this style of everything you make from fanart to dolls to interior design that is so special and breathtaking. One day we will drink so many lattes in a cosy cafe and then sniff lush products for the rest of the day. 💕 You are always there for me - as a online shoulder to cry on or to motivate me with the smuttiest wips ever. I am happy to be mutual married to you 💕💕

@bizarrelittlemew - Ida 💕- my thirsting for rhys brother in arms. I can not imagine tumblr without your gifs or your posts. I love screaming with you over a picture of rhys darbys bicep. I am so happy i got to meet you this summer and i really hope it will happen again. We are not that far from each other, just some miles and a stupid bridge; we can make it. You are always a sweetheart and an incredible friend who write the hottest fanfiction ever💕💕

@dickfuckk - josh 💕 (who I also thought for a long time was called tyler) I dont know where the fandom would be without your bts blog! its a international treasure and a service to humanity. i don't know how you do it. 💕You always have everything i have ever been looking for and as a bonus you are witty and funny like no one else. I am so happy i got to meet you and spend a whole day in your company! 💕

@izzy-b-hands - Holden my absolute darling!💕 I am so glad I got the chance to get to know you! You are smart, funny and kind and my izzy mutual tm. You are always there for me with kind words and I am still forever shipping izzy and the third badminton brother which I think is the best headcanon I have ever helped coming up with. 💕

@funforahermit - Kristina 💕 Your love for Rhys and your gifs are a staple on tumblr and my dash. I know where to go when i need someone to understand how hot Steve is (even if we have agreed that he is yours and Murray is mine which i still think is a fine deal). I very often make or see a picture of Rhys and my first thought is "I NEED TO SHOW KRISTINA THIS" so you live rentfree in my brain 💕

@rainbowcrowley - Addi 💕If i ever start playing wow again you bet i am gonna be talking your ear off about my little frost mages progress but in the meantime i am happy to have you on my dash and even if we don't talk that much are you a beloved part of my dash and brighten it daily.💕💕

@fandomsmeantheworldtome - Maria💕 You were one of the very first people i found in this fandom and your gifs might have helped my rhys obession taking form. You might be into many things I have never heard of but its a pleasure seeing your excitement over everything. You are always a ray of sunshine and i love that so much💕💕

@tabbystardust - Tabby dear💕 You are the kindest person I know who I always get the strongest need to hug and hold close. Your fanart is beyond this world and i adore it like nothing else. Its always both hot and soft in the best way ever💕 I am always excited to get kitty updates and to hear about your ramen receipts. I hope we can still meet at the con next year! I am game if you are!! 💕💕

@hummingbee-o0o - Humming 💕 (i dont know your name sorry) I am always excited to hear your thoughts and metas about everything ofmd related as well as your beautiful art. 💕 it was a pleasure to scream about season 2 after every watched episode!💕

@xoxoemynn - Emy 💕💕 i am so happy to be mutual with you! 💕You always bring joy to the people who get to be around you and fill my dash with the same. We might not talk often but i know you got my back! That is the kind of person you are!💕

@saltpepperbeard - Jodi💕 No one write tags on tumblr dot com like you. There is nothing that can cheer me up more than see that one of my posts has gotten a whole ass novel written in the tags and then i instinctively know that its you who have left your wonderful mark. You are always excited and such a lovely human to be mutual with. 💕 And on top of that you make incredible gifs that make my heart stop!!! 💕💕

@autumnbois - Kai 💕💕 I hope you are doing okay. We might not talk much right now but you were there for me when i needed it most and you are a good friend to have living in my phone.💕💕 I will think of you whenever i see something related to scream and your love for piccrew always make me smile💕

@edsbacktattoo - Jams, jams jams! 💕 We are never online at the same time because of the damn time differences *shakes fist* but you are a staple in this fandom. Your art is incredible and you are the sweetest cookie in the jar. You are funny and always spread good energy to everyone around you and I love that with my whole heart💕💕

@kiwistede - Sam 💕 Your love for stede and rhys is unmet and i love you for that. You are always a good source for some rhys darby insanity and we all know that is what i treausure most here in life! 💕💕

@stedesearring - Kaitlin💕 You are the sweetest and kindest soul out here always spreading joy and love like the sun of my dash. 💕 I always love seeing you and i am happy to have the pleasure to have you as a friend in my phone! 💕💕

@stedebonnets - Ara 💕 Where would we be without your gifs?? without your joy?? without your blog?? without you?? No one knows! I am so happy to call you a mutual and friend and you always bring a smile to my face. Always!!💕💕

@appleteeth - Liz 💕 No one is quite as normal about rhys darby as you and it a pleasure to watch! Speaking of pleasure.. your fic the slightest touch is an all time favorite of mine and i would be embarrassed to tell you how many times i have read it... you are one of my mutuals that i am baffled that they want to follow me. Its a privilege! 💕

@as-a-creww - Caroline dear 💕 You are a beloved mutual and your blog are a permanent part of my dash and i want to keep it like that! you are the friendliest of the friendliest and what is more important than that?? 💕💕

@nandorisms - Ed dear💕 Your shameless reblogs makes the world go around. You are always sweet and a much needed wwdits addition to my life. I count you as a dear friend living in my heart!💕

@londonlock - Londie! 💕💕 The only sherlock mutual i have left and i am very happy to have kept you! 💕 I might have left those days behind me but you know as well as i that sherlock lives in my soul and seeing some sherlock and john love on a daily basis keep me grounded and on top of that are you such a romantic and beautiful human being! 💕💕

@follovver - Tanya 💕 My fellow Swedish ofmd fan! I am very happy to have found you! its nice to be able do discuss it in my mother tongue and i hope we one day can do it live! its to bad we never met when we went to the same uni (or maybe we did but didn't know) Du är fantastisk!! 💕

@wastingyourgum - Al💕(which i always read in my head as artificial intelligence and giggle because it make me feel like you are a robot) My fellow rhys friend. You bring me doses of darby when its most needed and your blog is always on fleek 💕💕

@xray-vex - Xray 💕 100 % one of my funniest mutuals!💕💕 You make hilarious posts that no one else could even dream of coming up with! Always top tier blog content and what more can a girl ask for??💕

@jellybeanium124 - Nina💕 I can not imagine my blog without you! Your posts are always a delight and you are so nice and sweet and funny and incredible (even when you make math mistakes kisses kisses) You bring a honest joy into the fandom that we could not live without! 💕💕

@thunderwingdoomslayer - Nellie 💕 My official rhys darby gif provider who I come to as if i needed a new hit of an illegal substance. I salute you and thank you for your service!💕💕

@forestofsprites - Green my dear 💕You might have gone from ofmd to be the supernatural provider of my dash but that does not stop you from being the kindest forest spirit i know. Your presence is calming in a way i can not explain and i am glad to have you and your love for meg here.💕💕

@cheersmequeers - Kate💕💕 A big puzzle piece to bring my dash together. Always filling it with my favorite gay pirates and i love having you here. Always friendly and full of love.💕💕

@sugashook - Sugaaa💕💕 You know i am in love with your art! Your art is always on top and it bring me back to life every time. I keep the dress i bought from you on the outside of my closet so every morning its the first thing i see and it sets the day right!💕💕 I wear your art on my tshirt to the gym as often as i can hoping to lure in a ofmd fan between the weights but that has not happened yet sadly!! Never stop making your art!! The world would be at loss if that happened 💕💕

@lacefuneral - Jay 💕(should be called YAY because that is what i say when i see a new selfie or fashion post from you) You are a fantastic friend and i love your love for stede and you are always kind and patient in a way that makes me comfortable to ask you questions about something i might not be familiar with. You are forever my moth mutual in my mind 💕💕

@meanmisscharles - Charles 💕 In my head i call you charles but i don't think that is your name but i hope its okay with you! Always friendly and sweet but ready to fight the bullshit the other spread! and such a source for good music recommendations!! 💕💕

@forpiratereasons - Darcy 💕literary no one does it like Darcy! Aways bringing the best ofmd posts to my dash and ensuring i don't miss anything! You are incredible! 💕💕

@blackbeardskneebrace - Miles my dear 💕 You make incredible art both the cute and amazing ofmd art but also the gorgeous historical art you post. Its a pleasure to see you talk about history but also about our beloved gay pirates. Your snoopy ofmd art will live in my heart forever and i think it might be healing me a bit. Maybe even watering my crops and clearing my skin! And those valentine ofmd arts from last year. I am 100 % gonna bring them back this February like beloved decorations you store in the attic. 💕💕💕

@awkward-fallen-angel - Heather 💕 You are one of the sweetest people i have had the pleasure to come across. You bring a big excitement and attention to the things you like and it moves along to everyone near. I mean i have watched long critical role videos just because you spoke so warmly about them and i wanted to know what it meant. I love having you here. 💕💕

@mxmollusca - Mx 💕 (dont know your name so i am just calling you that) I mean you are an incredible writer. I have only managed to read ifwts once because i cried so much that i am scared to open it again because i might just never stop crying. You are creative and funny and absolutely totally normal about rhys darby which in my book is a very good thing to be. And besides that you are a very friendly and nice mutual who is always a pleasure to interact with. 💕💕

@poisonintopositivity - Lilias💕 We have not talked much but we have been mutuals for a very long time and i hope you know that i appreciate you greatly as a mutual and you always but the best posts on my dash!💕💕

@glam-hutchence - Birb 💕💕my dear bird lover! You are a sweet potatoe and i love reading about your love for music and the concerts you go to.💕 Its so nice to take a little part of your life. You are always there for me and i always get happy when i talk to you. You are like a little happy pill! 💕💕

@turtles-on-turts - Turts 💕 Whenever i see a turtle i think about you. Its your brand! You make amazing art! and the ones on canvas always blow me away. 💕💕 Its incredible. You are also so very pretty and i have that picture of you in your depression robe with all the pigeons imprinted in my mind because it such a cute one. You are always very friendly and i love reading your personal posts as well. 💕💕

@vonlipwig - Franky 💕 You bring me lots of normality about rhys darby but these days also a huge bunch of normality about david tennant which i appreciate a lot. You are very nice and i stand by my assesment that you have a very cool aura!💕💕

@haeva - Mar my beloved💕 You bring me my wifes emily and valkyrie and a bunch of amazing posts about everything i can imagine. You are loving and sweet and good at maths which i am always very impressed by. I love being your mutual and doing ask games with you is a pleasure!💕💕

@mykonossalome - Myko💕 When i see moomin i think of you because i know how much you love it. We dont talk as much as i would like but the interactions we have had has meant a lot to me and i love seeing you posting about the things you love! 💕💕

@cottoncandiescupcakes - Cupcake 💕 I love that you are always so excited over our boy the swede and its a pleasure to compare language with you. We can continue fighting if the swede belong to the dutch or the swedes but that is a pleasure!💕💕

@mister-brightside - Andrea my dear💕. Your art is always perfect and whenever i see a picture of izzy giving the middle finger i think about you! Its your brand and its your picture now and no one can change that. You are sweet and caring and a lovely mutual to have. thank you!💕💕

@merryfinches - Kylie 💕 What can i say more than that i ADORE your fanart. The colours the style the softness of it all is exactly what we all need in these times. Every single time it shows up on my dash it makes my heart grows softer and my love grow stronger! I love it so so much. 💕

@ofmd-ann - Ann 💕 You glorious glorious gifmaker! Your gifs are always beautiful and these last days you have saved me with your wrecked edits. As a supplier of rhys darby gifs i love you forever. You are a hero love. 💕💕

@usersukuna - Bia 💕You are a gif magician. Your gifs are perfect and you are also very kind and sweet and i am so glad i can call you a mutual! You light up tumblr like no one else and i am always happy to see you on my dash.💕💕

If you are not in this list it does not mean that i dont love you or have forgotten about you it means that tumblr has put a limit to how many people you can tag which sucks. But if i follow you then it means i love and appreciate you. 💕💕💕 And you know what? We will make it through this hard and trying times of greedy streaming services putting an end to our gay pirates show. I love you all and you know what??

We will make it through as A CREW!

#i might have spent half my work day on this because i am sad and can not concentrate so please dont tell my boss #personal #my beloved mutuals #renew as a crew #i am just very filled with love for you all #for this fandom #💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

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myobsessionsspace · 4 months ago

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Hi! I hope you dont mind this. I recently was informing myself more about bts and their past experiences, and i’m very probably wrong but i noticed how a lot of members (all of them, actually) have talked about and showed more or less some struggles, such as jimin, or v when he looked really numb and lost during official events, or yoongi, except for jungkook (and maybe jin?).

Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time), or others “small” episodes, jungkook himself never expressed a specific period of time where he was struggling for whatever reason, and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say. To me it looks like he maybe downplays/avoids talking about his own hard feelings and times, despite probably being one of the members who struggles and struggled the most (his unreleased song being a good example, in my opinion), but i still came here to get another point of view because i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him. Maybe my curiosity is having the best of me and that’s all this is about🙏. But really, the way he can go through the most gut wrenching moments and still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.

We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.

Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know, and what’s your opinion on him not really sharing it? I hope again my question doesn’t sound inappropriate or rude in any way, i don’t want this to come off as invasive or wanting in any way to force jungkook to express his personal struggles. And really, excuse me if i just missed content and i’m asking things i could easily find myself. I appreciate you so much.

Hi Lovely!

Thank you so much for this ask! It’s sooo juicy 😍

I’ve been mulling over it for a while because it’s something that I could talk about without ever stopping. It’s an ask that could allow me to get into the evolution of Jungkook from trainee days to now, you know.

It’s an ask that I could talk about and ‘compare’ (I hate that though, comparing people 🙈) the members and their different approaches to music when it comes to their group and solo work and how theirs to has evolved.

I’m not gonna lie I felt a bit defensive for Jungkook during his solo era. Something the fandom loves to do is ‘ours are better than yours’ with others, even within their own members, they like to be like ‘our group has the most song writing credits’ which leads to comparison with other groups, which leads to comparisons within the group and members solos etc.

When Jungkook’s turn came around I feel like there was a lot of expectation. I can only imagine what Jungkook himself felt.

Jungkook & Songwriting

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

To this point I think it shows what I’m saying, the expectation and comparison. I think because BTS have always been lauded as involved in their music, because it was something that wasn’t really the standard to kpop for their generation and those before, there’s always kind of been an expectation of them? But I don’t know if it’s because JK is one of my biases, but I feel like he was more ‘vilified’ for an album comprised of songs written by others and solely in English

The thing is though BTS do and have had much more creative control than a lot of kpop groups of their generation and the generations before, it’s not as straightforward as that. I don’t want to diminish anyone’s contribution or years of work, but it would be worth noting how one can get a songwriting credit. The rap line write their own bars, so for any song rap line have a rap verse, that’s an automatic songwriting credit.

Within a song making process there can be so many hands involved and points where tweaks are made, sometimes people can all get together and think tank the creation of the song lyrics, leading to the core group of writers, then through the recording process when tweaks are made more songwriting credits get added etc.

Or someone could write a song and due to the song being their baby not allow for many changes made apart from maybe by one producer, leading to only one or two song writing credits vs 7 song writing credits on one song.

Jungkook’s solo & group contributions

Each song would have a story behind it as to the level of contribution from JK (and other members) but it wouldn’t change the fact that he’d be entitled to a songwriting credit. For example ‘Dreamers’ was a song already done and sent to him for recording, but through tweaks made in the recording process Jungkook earned a songwriting credit.

Songs for ARMY

Whereas we know songs like ‘Still With You’ ‘My You’ were Jungkook’s babies and songs with only credits for Jungkook and the producer.

Isn’t it interesting the songs that Jungkook has the most involvement, if not primary involvement, are the songs about ARMY?

Jungkook has said that he like Jin, don’t hold on to negative emotions. They deal and move on.

However it seems like there’s one emotion that’s always remained constant and true to Jungkook, his love for army. I mean this man was so confident in this that he tattooed ARMY. He grew up with army, they supported his career and cheered him on, he’s said it’s because of being in the group and the group being successful that he’s been able to experience things such as the travels and activities in shows for army and the delights 🥴 of twinkies.

Not only is it easy for Jungkook to speak to army via lives etc it’s easy for him to speak to army via songs. It’s not a feeling he wants to process and move on from.

A Dramatic Shift?

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

Is that all he said?

Where Jungkook talks about wanting to focus on displaying his vocals and focusing on different songs to display them rather than focusing on songwriting

I think I again maybe it’s a combination of comparison and expectations?

He has spoken before of his wish to try singing different stories not his own

If you don’t do anything at all, please have a look at this post and watch the live & video in it, if you want some understanding about Jungkook from Jungkook himself.

Thoughts for Another Time

‘Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time)’

I actually have a whole separate theory about this moment right here. I’ve talked about it with others in the past. It’s something that would need a whole separate post to get into.

Do We Delve Too Deep?

‘i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him’

I think it’s the human condition to want to understand. I think it’s not an issue when you want to understand someone, someone that interests you, someone that brings you joy with their person and their talents. I think where you, myself and others have to be careful, is when we go from wanting to just understand someone to judging someone. Being disappointed in them for not living up to our expectations. When we thought we sussed them out and they don’t follow the path we thought made sense based on their past actions and our understanding of them.

With Jungkook, because we are not privy to the inner workings of of his mind, his emotions, his motivations, his day to day, it’s not fair to him as a human to be disappointed when he doesn’t do what we expect based on what he’s done in the past, based on what his members have done, based on what his fans expected.

It’s ok, I think, to sit and think on topics like this but I don’t think it’s ok to then project feelings onto someone because of it. They are our feelings and we need to understand why and then figure out what good they do to hold onto them? What it means going forward if those feeling hold value to us, do we still support, follow, invest or do we adjust our thinking or involvement? That’s what we have control over.

The kind of person Jungkook is

I’d like to preface this by saying I am one person on the internet. Same as anyone else, with no more or less access to him than the majority of us. The same media I consume is what is available to us all. His lives, his interviews, his songs, festas, memories, bombs, episodes, shows, documentaries etc.

All my inferences are from these, not Jungkoook himself, not a company insider, not a friend of a friend of the members, a sister of one of the members siblings friends 🤡 my opinion and opinion only 😅.

He is who he is. He says what he says. Even the members at times feel like they want to dig soul bearing emotions out of him

They’ve been saying for years

When is Too Much, Too Much?

‘Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know’

I don’t think looking to the past and nitpicking, microanalysing etc to point out where he looked the most miserable etc would do good to anyone. Being there in the moment, if we were, we would be trying to show him our love and support, empathising, seeing it to make ourselves not feel as alone, to see him as human etc.

For me to do that now for no reason as to just point out that…he’s…human? Well I think we should already know that. I do think Jungkook really was vulnerable and as open as he could be as an idol with millions of viewers during his lives of 2023.

That, I think, was one of the biggest windows into Jungkook the person, more as who his is now, the adult and not who he was when he was 19, 22, 24 etc. There were so many nuggets that could easily have been missed amongst the fun of the karaokes and cooking and eating etc.

I would advise you or anyone to, whenever you have free time, just pop in one of his lives, start from Feb and work your way through whenever you have a free moment (I know you said you have been 💜).

‘We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.’

The thing is with this, in my opinion...when have any of the members been completely and utterly specific? We get little sentences or conversations here and there where we can refer to, but if it’s one thing I’ve come to realise about BTS is that they are good at letting us in without really letting us in. The hardships they have shared tbh can be generalised to each of them, struggling with idol body image, tough schedules, dance routines, being in their heads. Yes some members have spoken about their mental health struggles more than others (Namjoon & Yoongi), they’re not learning dance routines as quick as others or being confident with their dance (Namjoon & Jin).

But they’ve also all talked sometimes as a group of struggles, general to the group as a whole. I think if Jungkook didn’t share their sentiments, he would have said he didn’t?

Did we really know that they were on the verge of splitting until they said so on stage and then afterwards. We know of the few fights they tell us about and then those are the only ones they refer to for years after, and we can count them in one hand, vmin dumpling fight, namgi throwing laundry fight, hopekook and banana fight…?

When watching something like their last Festa Dinner, where the others talked, shared, poured out, like it’s been said in the past, when his hyung hurt is when he hurts. Maybe it is that he didn’t/doesn’t struggle with the same things that the other members struggled/struggle with. Being a trainee and an idol is all he’s ever known being with his hyungs, his friends, family, working, travelling, enjoying good food and good drink is Jungkook. Namjoon (David Quinones and producer Tony Esterly) writing a song like ‘Begin’ to capture Jungkook’s essence?

Source: Doolset Bangtan

We know that Jungkook started trainee life in 2010? Born in 1997, ignoring Korean age system he’d have been around 13? I think we can guess the general kind of hardships pre 13.

Then once trainee life started we’ve heard him talk about having to learn to share, having to learn to dance and sing plus schooling where he probably had people either teasing him for thinking his was ‘a hotshot’ or wanting to be his friend because he was a trainee then a famous idol or constantly filming him, picturing him and gossiping about him? Away from home, constantly aching and exhausted, not knowing if he’d make it.

He has done vlogs where he talks about seeing his parents after a long time and how happy he was, he’s shown how happy he was to celebrate his graduation with his hyung and more interested in hanging out with them, than celebrating with his fellow schoolers. He’s talked with Jimin in a live about how after dance training he found a new passion and considered giving up being in the group.

Blog of his time in The US getting extra dance training & Part 2

It seems like with Jungkook he is someone to focus on the good, instead of the misssing his family, he talks to fans about the happiness in reuniting, instead of the difficulties of schooling he talks about the gratitude in having his idol career be successful enough to not be concerned with not being the best at school etc.

So I’d say over the years he has with little sentences here and there talked about his hardships but they probably don’t stand out as much because he, maybe through conscious effort, tells it to fans when there’s a positive to take from it. Like you also noted: ‘still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.’

He Is Who He Is

I wrote this at a point when I wanted people to understand a bit more about Jungkook, yes it’s in relation to his bond with Jimin but mainly focuses on Jungkook’s personality

His MBTI

Introvert, introvert, introvert!

He’s taken his MTBI several times through the years and one thing that has always remained consistent was his introvertion. talking about others, talking about ARMY maybe comes more easily to him than talking, writing and singing about himself?

He himself takes stock in his MBTI and seems to feel it does reflect him.

Music Is His Love & Passion

when all the members got to design their rooms, this was Jungkook’s design. Music is his love & passion through and through

When you want to make Jungkook happy, give him a karaoke mic and leave him be.

Suchwita - Jungkook Karaoke Special

I don’t think we have to worry for a long long time about not getting new music from Jungkook, songs written by others, songs written by him, songs about others’ experiences and songs about his own, we gotta just

‘Let Him Kook’ TD;LR

Jungkook is as complex a human as any other member but more often than not, a typical introvert, one to live in the now and man of few words.

Vulnerable, raw Jungkook. Listening to the song made by ARMY for BTS after their pause in group activities. Jungkook feeling with ARMY on world tour. Jungkook with ARMY on white day.

Ask him to write a song about ARMY and he can give you 10 but ask him to release a body of work that reflects him through and through, the perfectionist that he is, the introvert that he is, the experiences he’s had that he’s moved on from…as he said, there’s plenty of time for more from him in the future.

After his billboard number one’s for ‘Seven’ his debut solo single

He seems to not be someone to dwell on the sad and the hard but to deal with it and move on. He seems like someone who wants to share the good with people, not have people sad for him, in his songs he seems to want to reflect this hence his songwriting being more in that vein.

He like struggles like everyone else, has hardships like the others, has lows etc but his personality seems to not see the point in sharing to the extent some may want or get from the other members.

The reason we love each of them is BECAUSE they’re not the same, right? Right!

There is soo much more I could say (as one of my biases I could talk about him all day!) but tbh I needed to post this as is, because I was starting to obsess over this ask and letting it snowball🙈

Maybe we can come back to some points and tackle each separately one day. Thank you again lovely!

💜

#Anonymous Asks #Jikook #Jungkook #solo music #songwriting #personality #hardships #sharing

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call-me-chips · 1 month ago

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Hey, could any of the christians/christ followers on here please pray for me?

Religious trauma(?) warning

(Idk if this counts as religious trauma or not)

Don't know how to word this, so bear with me

I've decided to stop pursuing a relationship with God, because trying to do so has just been detrimental to my mental health

Every time I go to church, everyone there is putting up their hands, singing, some are even on their knees. And here I am, having never experienced God, and feeling like he's there. I've always felt alone in that sense

He's never answered my prayers, and because of this, I've doubted his existence since I was like, 10. When I was having nightmares and couldn't sleep, I tried praying with mother, but I always had to calm myself because I felt no comfort at all, prayer after prayer

I've really started struggling over the past few years as I've started finding my sexuality and gender identity. Although I feel happy with who I am, I still have a LOT of doubts. I've been told all my life that gays go to hell, and although I don't believe that God would create people just to send them to hell, it's still a prominent thought. I've quite literally been sobbing on the floor dozens of times, begging God to show me ANY sign from him that being gay is either wrong or right, he hasn't answered me at all. It's just been me crying at the wind. Nothing.

I can't change who I am or who I like, and it really scares me that I could be sent to eternal torment because of it. If I could choose to be a normal, cishet person, I absolutely would, no hesitation, just to remove all doubt and fear

I really wanna believe that god exists, but I'm really not sure at this point. Every time I try to pray, I wanna cry because I feel nothing, while EVERYONE ELSE seems to have a relationship with God and is happy. I dread going to church because I nearly cry every time I see everyone in the room worshipping and genuinely enjoying being there. I just feel so tired of trying and done with God and christianity

So yeah, if any of the religious people could please pray for me, that would be very appreciated /nf :)

#christianity #god #queer christian #prayer #pray for me #i am so tired #lgbtq issues #homophobia #tw homophobia #religious trauma #tw religious trauma #tw religion #tw religious themes #chipsvsgod #christ follower #cw religion #cw religious trauma #cw religious themes #i really dont know if this counts as religious trauma or not

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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago

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u don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to or u feel u don’t have anything to say on it (obvi) but how do u deal with jealousy and comparison?

i genuinely just like my shit. i love how i look like, i love my stuff, i love where i come from, i love my family and friends, and i appreciate all the circumstances (good and bad) that have led me to be the person i am today. i've done a lot of esteemable things that have bolstered my confidence growing up, like getting an extremely hard degree and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more than ever before. i treat other people w kindness and respect. i make sure to be a source of support rather than needless negativity. what people think of me (or have) doesn't get under my skin anymore, bc i've already proven my worth to myself. the fact of the matter is, i'll always hold my own opinion of myself higher than i do other people's opinions of me. i'm at a place where i just don't care that much. i've lost the need to correct people on their takes of me a long time ago.

my own happiness is king--everything else is secondary. if i like it, that's enough for me.

i find it pointless to compare myself to somebody else, simply because no two people have been dealt the exact same cards. i wouldn't compare a rose to a lily, so why should i be comparing myself to people who're--no matter who they are, no matter where they're from--never gonna be me? i'm me. the only person i should be comparing myself to is my past self. i am only in competition w myself. that is all.

as for jealousy, viewing people who have things i want as proof of concept has really helped. if another person gets a higher score on a test, i don't get jealous that they outdid me. i just view them as proof that i can get that score if i studied more efficiently. someone else's success isn't a lack of your own--it's just proof you can reach that success, even if the route doesn't look exactly the same, even if it might take longer.

contentment is entirely subjective. i've known wealthy people who're incredibly miserable. i've known people who struggle financially but could not be happier. other people's advantages don't rattle me, bc i don't care about them, bc i'm so eternally grateful for what i already have. i've also never really been that materialistic to begin with, so i've always understood that a person's worth lies in who they are rather than what they own (whether it be things, money, opportunities...). i can say w my whole chest that i wouldn't swap places w the most famous, most rich celebrity there is. i legitimately don't want to. i know that even if i have to work harder for things, i'll have more to say by the end of it all, and that in and of itself is so profound. not to mention the satisfaction from having challenged myself to get there--and i love a good challenge.

i've unleared the idea that i should view other women as competition. life is hard, we all struggle, we'll be living in a man's world for a long time, and it's just not worth the energy. yeah i'm ambitious, but not at the expense of other people. there's enough room for everyone. another woman's achievement doesn't mean less space for mine. we'll all be fine.

w all that said!! there are bad days. no human is just confident all the time, doesn't feel jealous all the time, doesn't compare themself all the time, doesn't let people's opinions get under their skin all the time. don't feel bad for doing it every now and then. it's natural and normal and just part of the human experience. nobody is perfect. just focus on you, view other people as inspiration rather than competition, and compare your progress to nobody else's but your own. it's been a game changer for me :)

#ask

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galedekarios · 1 year ago

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good day! thank you for beautiful visuals and metas of Gale, its great to find fans who care about him so! You got me thinking - for a character so romantic, so delighted to be in love Gale knew little about it with Mystra. He spoke about being her lover like it was a highest honor, losing her favor, being cut off described as fate worse than Netherese Orb itself. Gale agrees to die for her forgiveness no questions asked. All this while he realises deep down even through it was voiced later - he was her plaything, another mortal falling under her spell, no love requited ever could be there, gods don't feel it. It's very sweet and a little heartbreaking, how open and smitten he can be if romanced, how happy he becomes loving and being loved in return.

thank you for your wonderful and very sweet message, anon. 🖤 i really do appreciate it.

yes, that is everything that i find very touching about gale's romancce.

to me, gale is someone who hasn't truly known what love is yet. he has known worship and obedience, wonder and pleasure. i think, considering how young he was when mystra came into his life, it's perhaps no surprise at all that once their relationship changed, he may have thought it was love between them. it was most certainly for him. in fact, i do remember a particular line from early access that always stuck with me and truly showed the imbalance at work here:

Player: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love.

and

Player: Teacher’s pet, was he? Gale: He fancied himself much more than that. He fancied himself favoured above all others. Perhaps it was not quite love, but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. Mystra showed him the secrets behind the veils. The gossamer veils first, draped across the Weave. The delicate veils next, draped across her body. ‘Chosen One’ she whispered, as she slipped them off completely.

and even now, in the full release version of the game, that sentiment still lingers. he wasn't just her chosen, he was her lover - and we learn throughout the game what love truly entails for gale: heart, mind, body and soul.

Gale: I'm many things to many people, but I'm never a man to throw the l-word around lightly. I said exactly what I meant: I love you. You should never, never doubt that. - Gale: We didn't just make love. We bonded, body and soul. I got lost in you.

with mystra casting him away, he not only lost his power, his status, but also one of his most central relationships with the goddess who was his teacher, mentor and love all at once, all at the same time.

but we also know that he had relationships before mystra and before the protag:

Gale: No, you are not the first. Though you are the first since my relationship with Mystra came to its ignominious end.

i think this quote is just so interesting, especially if you pair it with:

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command... None have loved me so purely before.

and:

Player: I love you. But for the man that you are. Not the god you'd pretend to be. Gale: But think what I offer. The vastness of eternity to explore, the Weave at our fingertips... You would really prefer me as I am? Node Context: Genuine, vulnerable - the player just told him they loved him in a way that no one else has

so whatever these relationships before were, it's clear that something was missing from them for gale. something that gale sorely needed.

all of these little puzzle pieces combine to a larger whole of why we find gale as he is when we meet him in the story: someone who very much is struggling to find any worth in the person that he is outside of what he can provide to be useful.

Gale: Let me make myself indispensable. - Gale: I'm indispensable, aren't I? - Gale: My best is yours. - Gale: Please - continue to believe in me. I want to show you the wizard I am capable of being, rather than the poor excuse for a man who's kept you company thus far.

there are so many more of these, following the same vein, even in act iii.

gale is only now learning how to be loved, how to allow himself to be loved, and under that continuous reaffirmation given by the protag, he opens up to it, strains towards it, like a flower to the sun.

Gale: You truly are a soul that steels my own. From all my new-rallied heart I thank you. I stand at a precipice, but if you do not give up hope, neither shall I. I'll fight, I'll resist - as long as I can. - Gale: You give me hope, and I've not had that in some time. - Player: How are you feeling? Gale: Worried, if I'm being honest. I have so much to live for - more than I thought I'd have again, after Mystra. - Gale: It's been so long since I used it. Gale Dekarios cuts a poor figure next to the wizarding prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep'. Player: Gale Dekarios. I think I like him more. Gale: You like so many things about me I'd have sooner discarded... Your generosity is quite wonderful. - Gale: You see me as I am, and do not find me wanting.

he still has a very long way to go, to heal, it's not a process that's completed by the time his quest is completed or the game ends - and depending on your protag, they too have things that still weigh heavy on them as well - but it's a beginning.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #tav x gale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #otp: a soul that steels my own #otp: you give me hope #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3 #text: asks #grooming cw #for the mystra part #to be safe

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prettydeadwriter · 9 months ago

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Bolin x Plus Size!Reader

a / n : in this mini HCS it's mainly just how I think he'd be with a plus size / overweight reader !! I'm personally plus size / overweight n thought this would be a sweet little treat for the other bigger people who love this dork

I will say this is kinda all over the place. it's 4:30 am, I'm sleepy and shaky bc of insomnia n this is mainly just some sweet fluff. most is just them in their relationship too :3

Let's be honest this boy will love just about anyone. doesn't matter looks as much as it does personality.

when he first meets you how you hold yourself — whether confident or shy — he takes interest!! this boy bout falls in love with you when you hug him for the first time months into the blooming friendship.

Bolin can understand insecurity. he sometimes feels he isn't enough either so if you're insecure about your chubby body, or your possibly any part of your body that you've deemed 'too big', he's very understanding and suggests talking to him about it.

he really cares, he wants to be there for you like you are for him so when he notices this insecurity he's quick to tell you he's there.

"just so you know, you can always talk to me you know?"

once you feel comfortable telling him about these insecurities — if you have them — he's listening with a caring stare and a hand on yours as he listens so intently. he never forgets what you said and always tries to pay attention to the parts you're insecure about, said parts becoming his absolute favorites when he looks at you.

if you're not insecure he doesn't mind either!!! he loves that you view yourself so well and that it doesn't affect you!! it makes him extremely happy that you're comfortable in your own skin because it means you're not struggling with this specific part. if you struggle occasionally and Bolin learns of this he's quick to come to comfort and remind you how pretty you are.

dates are fun!! he loves park dates but he prefers a nice date at home. don't get him wrong he loves going out to eat, he loves showing you off even more. but having the comfort of sitting on the couch, eating something homemade or takeout, maybe a mover is put on or you're both listening to the radio while cuddling.

Bolin himself , in my opinion , has a bit of a chub on his belly. it's more like muscle that's soft that looks like chub than actual chub/fat but still. he almost giggles if you like to play with his 'chub', even finds it affectionate when you do it and often will give you kisses in return

his favorite activity ever to do is to cook together. personally I don't think he's a great cook, ask him to cook something and it's likely a little burnt but he can boil water!! though seriously he's an ok cook, he's better at being the one to chop things up and let you cook than being the one seasoning or mixing things up.

he loves to hold you from behind with his hands holding your sides softly while he rocks you both side to side as you'd focus on cooking the meal. he'd finished prepping all the ingredients for you a couple moments ago and now continued his routine of cuddling you, rocking side to side like her always did. it was always comforting and a nice way to spend time together.

he loves to be the big spoon with you!! he loves to hold you close and softly pepper the back of your neck in kisses as he focuses on helping you fall right to sleep.

to be continued maybe :3

uhmmm this is kinda short iggg

please like + reblog if you wanna, I appreciate anything that comes my way

this'll be reposted on AO3 once I get an acc since it'll take till april 14th for me to get the invite so ugh,,

otherwise - ask to repost my works , I may be willing to officially repost them myself but yea!!

hope you all enjoyed this, good night 🫶🏻

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staytinyville · 10 months ago

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Hello! I love your writing so much! I was wondering if I could request a little story of a rather large plussize woman to be found desirable and wanted by Jongho from Ateez? I have been struggling with my desirability and how that isn't connected to my selfworth. I would love for the oc to have light brown hair with green eyes and glasses if possible. Thank you so much. 💖

↣ A/N: MISS/MR PERSON. IF PLUS SIZE READERS ARE NOT MY FAVORITE TO READ. And it’s like a very oddish thing because I myself am not at all plus size. I’m positive it’s just my all around size kink and extreme empathetic ability that cries every time someone puts themselves down. BUT IF I DO NOT LOVE READING THOSE.

Honestly I can create small little snips of how each of the boys gravitate towards bigger people in their own different ways. I can see all of them loving on you with their own affections and love language.

↣ Characters/Pairing: Jongho x Plus Size!Reader

↣ Genre: fluff, angst,

↣ AU/Trope info: idol!au,

↣ Word Count:

↣ Warnings: self conscious about weight, a bit of anxiety,

↣ A/N: I will be honest I was going for tears falling kind of imagine but I felt I didn't portray that enough/well. I also feel that since I didn't add much dialogue it sucked too.

Special Thanks to @saradika-graphics for the amazing banners as always.

Jongho would be one of the boys who would gravitate towards a bigger person because I think he would like someone who is healthy in regards to themselves. He appreciates confidence a lot and while he does enjoy when his S/O is happy to be themselves he also knows that things can be hard sometimes.

Maybe at the start of a relationship you can find yourself having trouble with your self worth and image but once you get to know Jongho you open up and understand that he isn't someone who will look at your physical appearance.

Jongho just gives off so much respect that it leaves you like bawling your eyes out at home because of how great he is. He won't pressure you into doing something you don't want but he for sure will support you and motivate you when he knows that your goal is what you really want in life.

Jongho is just so great that at one point or another, you will in fact be changing your mind about yourself because his respect juice is just over the top and his affections will just have you second guessing any self loathing you might have because that man loves with his entire chest/thighs.

The day had been extremely pretty and the weather finally let up to allow Spring to move in. With the snow all melted and flowing down the rivers, the flowers were starting to grow and bring about the buzzing of bees.

You were glad to feel that the wind was just cool enough to get rid of the humidity that came with the water. And because of that you were more than happy to wear a flowy sundress that gave your legs room to breath while your arms were covered up by sleeves. It was enough to keep you both warm and cool.

Jongho had the day off and asked that you both leave the house rather than be cooped up all day. He wanted to breathe the fresh air for a moment due to being stuck in the studio/company all week. And with the day being so nice, he wanted to take advantage of it.

You were left a bit skeptical about going out because of how you spent so much time inside during the winter months to avoid getting sick. You weren't really feeling confident in yourself but you knew that being stuck inside for longer would only make things worse.

Plus you couldn't tell him no with the way he held your hand and rubbed his thumb along your skin. And you for sure couldn't voice your thoughts as he told you that he had a picnic planned and to dress all nice and pretty.

When you felt the wind on your skin to check the temperature before going out your first thought was to wear the sundress you bought one day while out shopping with Jongho. You could remember the way his eyes grew wide and lips twitch as a smile wanted to overtake his face when you showed him it.

You also couldn't take the giggle that came out his lips when you wore it for the first time.

And so around midday, you sat on a blanket alongside Jongho under a tree that overlooked the river. He had laid down, his arms behind his head as he rested. You had your legs stretched out in front of you, humming to yourself as you read over a book while soft music played in the earbuds you both shared.

Jongho shuffled closer to you, making you giggle as you scooted over, allowing him to wrap an arm around your waist and nuzzle his head into your side.

You heard groups of people starting to make their way into your cozy spot as the day progressed and people wanted to do the same thing as you and your boyfriend.

You heard giggling to your side, glancing up and seeing people snickering. You swallowed thickly when you caught them speaking quietly to each other and kept glancing your way.

You suddenly felt uncomfortable, rolling your shoulders and wiggling as you tried to cover up more with your shin length dress. You pulled your legs as close to you as possible, trying to make yourself seem smaller.

You flinched at the sweat that had begun to form on your legs that were attached to the blanket, trying to use your dress to wipe it away. You didn't notice the anxiety creeping in your body. Not until Jongho moved from you.

Your movements caused Jongho's arms to slip from your waist, making him wake up and frown at your movements. He leaned up to watch your facial expressions. It was subtle but he could see the frown on your lips, the pinch in your eyebrows as you fret over yourself and the things around you.

"My love." He called softly, playing with the fabric of your dress that you had bunched up in your fingers.

He was slow in moving to touch you, not wanting to startle you and make your anxiety even worse. You moved your hands closer to yourself, causing him to follow the path and finally link your fingers together atop your thigh.

Your lips twitch at the, leg beginning to bounce up and down. Jongho finally sat up, moving to sit behind you. He wrapped both of his arms around you, laying his cheek against the back of your head as his thumb rubbed along your hands that he held.

He felt your skin calming down, no longer twitching as you relaxed in his hold. When he felt you go slack, he scooted closer, pressing his chest against your back. His chin rested on your shoulder, breath hitting your ear making you haunch your shoulder from the tickle.

"Are you okay?" He asked you quietly, lazily rubbing his cheek on your skin.

"I'm okay." You whispered, looking down at your book.

Jongho sat up quickly, causing you to turn around to look at him. You felt his fingers squeeze your hand pulling it closer to your stomach. He hugged you tighter to him, making tears well up in your eyes.

"What happened?" He asked quietly.

You knew he already knew. He saw it every time you would fret over your clothing. He knew what kind of anxiety attack you might be having by just watching you. It was how he showed his love.

Jongho didn't need to tell you anything. He always showed his affections in his expressions and actions more than anything. It was the way he held himself. The way he held you that made you realize how much he actually loved you.

It was riveting to watch how much he put into his performances and passion in what he loved doing. And all that passion translated into his feelings for those he loved. If you knew Jongho well enough you would know that with just one look you were going to be safe with him.

He was silent, an observer and only talked when it called for it. He gave his opinions when he felt that others were wrong but he wouldn't try to change their mind if they were stubborn people.

With you he didn't try to change your mind. He only tried to ease it. It wasn't an easy thing to overcome your insecurities about your body image. Especially in this time and age with technology.

But he didn't have to say anything. He just had to hold you and make you feel how much he loved you and your everything. Maybe there were times where you needed to hear him voice that you were beautiful but when he held you like he was now, allowing his entire being to seep into your skin and take your anxiety away you felt like you were on cloud nine.

"I love you." He called out, making you look up at him.

You smiled through your tears, sniffling as he reached up to wipe them away.

"I love you too."

#kpop fanfic #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez x reader #ateez jongho #jongho ateez #jongho #atz #jongho fluff #choi jongho #jongho imagines #jongho x you #jongho x reader #jongho x y/n

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weemsfreak · 1 year ago

Note

One shot with Jane Murdstone where she's being sexualy harassed and reader, her childhood friend, steps in and stops it. The two go to readers house and start talking, eventually confessing their feelings for each other which leads to a long session if love making. Sub!Jane?

Magnetic

Hello! I'm happy to say that this is my first Jane Murdstone fic! I've always wanted to write her, but I didn't know much about the Victorian times, or how to write a lady so metallic yet make her soft at the same time. Anyway, I tried my best to make it Jane as we know her, but in an interesting part of her life. Any tips are appreciated as I'm still not the best at writing smut, enjoy! :)

Warnings: Sexual harassment/assault, knives (no real violence), mention of blood, smut, Sub!Jane, Dom!fReader

(Also, apologies, this became big very fast ~9k words)

You found yourself at a saloon one Friday night, not that you didn't find yourself at one often. Your job was rather, well, emotionally scarring and energy depleting, you would say. Regardless of the fact that you had been doing this job for years, everyday took a toll on you. What was worse than your job, though, was that you felt alone. You felt so alone in this job and in life, and you couldn't talk to anyone about what you did or how you felt, so you didn't really talk to anyone, you didn't connect with anyone.

"Good evening sir, how may I assist you?" a woman asked strictly, staring with a frown at a man who was making his way over to her table.

"I have to admit, you're absolutely stunning, I can't keep my eyes off of you" the man mumbled, as he leaned on the back of the woman's chair.

The woman's face grew red with embarrassment. She was flattered by his statement, but taken back at how forward he was being.

"Well, thank you…I suppose" she said a little quieter.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing here alone, waiting for someone? Perhaps me?" the man grinned and spoke in a flirty tone. The woman's face grew colder.

"Sir, I appreciate the compliments, however, I believe you are being far too forward."

The man chuckled, "Come on now darlin', there is no need to be so uptight, loosen up and enjoy the night. I'm not harming anyone." The woman had grown tired of this man the second he walked her way. It seemed that at times she attracted people easily, for this wasn't the first time an unwanted man was this forward with her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she stood up from her chair and faced the man, towering over him. "Now listen here you scoundrel, if you cannot contain yourself like the gentleman you claim you are, I have no other choice but to remove myself from this situation" she growled, as a lady would. The man was not phased by her words as he moved closer to her and grabbed her waist.

The woman was caught off guard at his bold action, and her stern demeanour dropped slightly, she was nervous. She was always so confident and so sure, she was never one to back down. She was known as the metallic lady, not to her knowledge, though. She was strong and kept her iron walls up, she would never let anyone, let alone a low life man, get to her. Lately though, she had been struggling, she had been faltering.

"Let..me..go" the woman said, trying her hardest to sound unphased as she pushed at the man's arms. He didn’t let go, instead he stood tall and whispered in her ear.

"You are a tall, feisty woman, I like that in the bedroom."

The woman was absolutely disgusted by the man's behavior, and she tried even harder to shove him off of her.

"How dare you speak to me in such a way? I'll have you know that I am a respectable lady of higher society. Now, I said let me go!"

She desperately tried to pull away from the man, but she couldn't move very well. He didn't look very strong, but apparently he was stronger than her. Her blood started to boil at the mans audacity, and a low growl crept up her throat.

The man crept closer to her and whispered again, "Such a shame that an attractive lady like yourself has to play hard to get."

Suddenly, the man moved from the woman's ear to her lips and reached up to kiss her, not giving her a chance to say or do anything. The woman's eyes went wide as she felt the mans lips on hers, and she tried so hard not to gag. She was furious that a gross man would ever think she would want him, let alone take what he wanted without permission.

She pulled away from him with all her strength and hollered, "Enough!"

She lifted her foot and kicked the man in the groin, hoping he would back off. The man was somehow unphased by her kick, and he pulled her back towards him, determined to get what he wanted. Her kick was not hard enough it seemed, and she felt hopeless as she struggled to get away from him. She nervously looked around the saloon. It was a busy spot, but nobody seemed to be paying attention, or maybe they just didn't care. The woman felt helpless and terrified, which she had only felt a handful of times in her life. She wanted to cry as she thought that she may have to do something drastic.

You were lost in your drink, swirling it around and taking a big gulp. Your eyes panned around the saloon, ugh, there were too many intoxicated men. Halfway across the saloon, you spotted a tall woman dressed in black, a woman that you couldn't miss, as if your eyes were drawn to her and were unable to move elsewhere. She was wrapped in a mans arms, but you remembered seeing her sitting with a different man earlier, and then at one point she was sitting alone. Your face knit in confusion. She looked familiar to you, but you couldn't quite place why. She was pale with raven hair, dressed in all black. She had a stern looking demeanour and a confident stature, and yet she looked like she was scared. She reminded you of someone from your childhood. Could it be? As you were lost in your thoughts, the woman's eyes met yours. They were big, blue, piercing, and, terrified? You fell out of your daydream and landed back into reality, hard, as you watched the woman try to push the man off of her. You finally concluded that the man was not wanted by her, it was obvious. He brought his hand up to the woman's mouth and muffled her words, just as she tried to say something. The woman looked to you again with pleading eyes, and you knew she needed help. You abandoned your drink, patting a secret pocket in your dress to make sure you knew where your weapon was, just in case.

You walked over to the woman and the man and looked up at her, then at him. He didn't notice you, but the woman did, as she tried to mumble something to you. You reached up and grasped the mans hand, removing it from her mouth.

"Let the lady talk, sir" you said sternly.

The man turned to you, a shocked and angry expression falling over his face.

"How dare you interrupt me and my lady's fun!"

You heard some men in the back who were witnessing the situation, laughing over the man's actions.

"Your lady?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

The man smiled, "Why of course. We're having a good time tonight, isn't that right, honey?"

The man looked to the woman again, still holding her close. You also averted your gaze to the woman's. Her eyes were now watery, but she wasn't one to ever let someone see her cry, you knew that. She didn't say anything, and she wouldn't look at him, only at you. Her eyes pierced yours, as if she could see inside of you and knew your whole being, perhaps she did. Those eyes brought back memories, joyful memories. You nodded slightly at the woman and proceeded to dig your nails into the mans hands, pulling them away from her waist.

"Ah! What the hell are you doing?" the man gasped loudly.

You stood in between the man and the woman, peering up at the man.

You almost growled at him, "The lady does not want to be around you, sir. Please leave."

The man's expression turned enraged again as he stood taller, he looked like he wanted to fight. He huffed and averted his gaze back to the woman, a smug look on his face.

"Your little lady friend here was enjoying my company" he mused.

Again, you heard people in the back laugh at his antics.

Your fists tightened by your sides in anger, "The lady doesn't want to be in your company" you growled.

You felt the woman's gaze on you from behind, there was a bit of relief and gratitude on her face.

"I think she was very much enjoying her time with me" the man smiled. Your jaw clenched, how stupid was this man?

"Sir, are you oblivious? Or do you perhaps enjoy assaulting women?" you asked.

The man's smile dropped, "Look, it was just one quick kiss! There is nothing wrong with that, ladies love some attention."

Your eyes widened as he confessed to kissing her against her will. You also found his comments to be incredibly insulting.

"Not all lady's like a man's attention" you grit at him.

The man looked at you with a smirk on his face, "I know plenty of ladies who enjoy attention from a gentleman. Are you not taken, pretty one?"

You had had enough, this was so insulting, so tiring, and so god damn annoying.

You rolled your eyes at him, "I'd never let a man touch me, pretty one."

The man laughed as he stumbled towards you, "Please, let lose and have some fun, woman."

A smirk crept up on your face, oh, you'd have some fun.

"I am quite enjoying myself now, actually" you sarcastically replied.

The man, who was clearly way too intoxicated, smiled and winked at you.

"Glad you think so, little miss."

You sighed and rolled your eyes at him as you turned around to face the woman.

You craned your neck to look up at her, "Shall we go, my lady?"

The woman fought back tears as she looked down at you and nodded.

Somehow, she spoke with composure, "Yes, I do believe we should."

You nodded back at her and went to lead her out of the saloon as you saw the man move closer to her in your peripheral vision.

"And where do you think you are going, sweetheart?" he asked hastily.

You moved fast to stand in between the man and woman again, staring up at the man with fire in your eyes.

"Oh, am I interrupting something here?" he asked sarcastically.

"In fact you are" you spat at him.

The man laughed again and smirked at the woman, "I'm sure your lady friend would like to stay."

The woman didn't hold back on giving him a disgusted look, she never would.

You smiled at the man, "Ah. So you are just straight up stupid" you mused.

The man frowned down at you, "You are the stupid one. Clearly, my lady here is enjoying my presence." Your eyebrows quirked up, "and blind" you muttered.

The man chuckled dismissively as he reached to grab the woman by her waist again. You immediately grabbed for your coffin handled bowie knife and pulled it out of your dress, forcing it against his neck before he could reach the woman. The men in the back ceased their laughter as the man froze and slowly looked down at the knife.

"I wouldn't touch her if I were you" you seethed.

The man's face was now filled with hesitation and fear, it made you happy. He looked over at the woman, then back at you, and he slowly retracted his hand.

"I guess I will be leaving now." You held your knife against his neck until he turned and walked away.

You spun around to face the woman and she looked down at you with her mouth open, as if she could not believe what had just happened.

She stuttered, "I… I cannot thank you enough my lady. I do not know how to repay you for protecting me."

You smiled and bowed, "No payment needed, my lady."

You couldn't help but notice the woman blush a bit as a small smile crept up onto her face.

"Well, you are just too kind" she spoke joyfully, but quietly. You looked around the saloon, men were still staring at you both, surprised at the turn of the show.

"Care to take a walk, my lady?" you said, reaching out for her hand.

You could see something in the woman's eyes as she looked into yours, hopefully it was relief.

"I would like that very much, yes" she smirked.

The woman took your hand and you lead her out of the saloon, finally.

You and the woman walked down the dark, dimly lit street in silence. You lead her to a bench under a tall, beautiful filled out tree. You gestured for the woman to sit down, and you followed. There was silence for a moment as you both looked up at the night sky, then you heard her speak.

"Thank you, for everything you did. You were incredibly brave, I cannot thank you enough. When that man kissed me I just, I felt so scared."

She sounded so timid, but rightfully so, she just went through something traumatic. You found it odd though, the girl you knew from your childhood was so cold looking, so serious, so stern, so sure, so metallic.

You couldn't believe that the man had kissed her, oh, you should've put your knife right through him!

You looked at the stunning woman, "Of course my lady, it's my pleasure, truly."

The woman nodded and averted your gaze as she looked up at the beautiful tree, full of small blossoms and the night sky, full of many far away stars.

"I must ask, what is your name?" the woman spoke, unsure.

You had kept your gaze on her, and she finally looked back at you. She had so many questions, you were a mystery to her.

"You can call me Silla" you smiled.

The woman's brows knitted, and she looked away.

"And what is your story, Silla?"

You took a deep breath, pondering over what you wanted to tell her, more like what you could tell her. Although, if she was who you thought she was, she already knew you.

"I go to saloons often, my job is very draining. I'm not very personable, I have my reasons. I live to protect people, it is my duty."

The woman pondered, that didn't tell her much about you, but still, she was incredibly grateful. She looked you up and down, an unreadable expression on her face.

"What is your job, if I may ask?"

You chuckled as you looked down at the ground, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

The woman's face fell at your words, and you couldn't help but laugh.

You continued, "May I ask why you were at the saloon alone?"

You watched the woman's lips perse, before she looked down at her lap.

"I was with my brother. We were talking about…well, something that he doesn't approve of nor want to deal with. So, he left."

Your eyebrows knit together. Something he didn't approve of? That sounded like Edward.

"I see" you said quietly.

You took in the woman's face as she was silent. Her face was long with high cheekbones, she had a high hair line, and she was white as a ghost with a scar on her upper lip. Her hair was darker than the night, she was truly beautiful. You could say that she was magnetic.

You smiled, it was funny really, how you had reunited with a long lost friend in such a way.

The woman caught you staring at her and straightened up in her seat, "What?" she asked.

You smiled wider, "I missed you, Jane."

Jane looked at you like you had two heads, she was so utterly confused. Had you been stalking her? Why would you know her and she not know you?

In her defence, you looked a lot different than you used to. Your hair was light when you were younger, but it had darkened over time. Your build was much more defined than it used to be, and you were way more tired looking than you were at one point.

Jane stuttered, surprised, "You- you know my name?"

You chuckled, "I do. We were such good friends when we were children."

Jane tilted her head at you, eyebrows knitted together.

"Drusilla Hartman" was all that you offered.

You watched as Jane's mouth opened and eyebrows raised slowly, her eyes scanning your face.

"Drusilla?" she said in question, hardly believing that it was really you.

When you were children, you two lived next door to each other. You used to play in the gardens and with the animals everyday, you used to be very close. Jane was always bossy, dominant, and kept most things to herself, but she was a great listener, and you had a better connection with her than anyone else you had ever met. One day, your parents decided to move suddenly, never telling you why. You had a hunch that it had something to do with you, but you never knew what.

You smiled, "Yes Jane, it's me."

Jane licked her lips in thought as she looked deep into your green eyes, yes, yes, it was you. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into her. You startled at the contact, but didn't hesitate to embrace her.

"Oh, in such a horrible way we had to reunite" she mumbled.

You took a deep breath, "No worries Jane, I'm just happy that you're safe."

She pulled back and smiled at you, still holding on to your arms.

"Jane" you heard a man call out, and your hand flew down to pull your knife out again.

"Jane Murdstone" a man yelled, and Jane whipped around to find her brother.

"Edward" she said in a shocked tone.

"Jane, I was searching for you. Why are you out here?" he asked in a controlling manner.

She took a deep breath, "I grew tired of the saloon, so I came out for some air."

Edward didn't say anything, then he glanced over at you and back to Jane.

"I'm retiring for the night, do you wish to come?" Jane looked at you, then back at him.

"I will be home shortly, brother." Edward nodded before looking at you again.

"What are you doing out here with her?" he asked, gesturing to you.

"I'm just reuniting with an old friend Edward. You must remember Drusilla" she smiled.

He looked you up and down before nodding.

"Yes, how do you do Drusilla?"

You offered him a small smile, "Very good Edward, and you?"

Edward nodded, "Very well, thank you."

He then turned to leave, but not before telling Jane he would be expecting her soon.

Jane was quiet after Edward left. You watched as she stared up at the stars, biting her lower lip, a worried look on her face.

"What has you upset, Jane?" you asked quietly and reluctantly, not wanting to pry.

She looked over at you, "I'm worried that my brother thinks ill of me" she frowned.

"I confessed something to him recently, and he hasn't taken it well."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "I'm sorry, Jane."

She smiled timidly, seemingly wanting to tell you more. Everything inside of her was screaming for her to keep her secret, but she knew that you must have found it odd how her brother was so concerned about you sitting with her. Her eyes told you that she wanted to tell you more, they were fearful, but in a different way than they were in the saloon. You smiled at her warmly. Jane opened her mouth, and then closed it again.

You took her hand in yours and whispered, "It's alright Jane, you're alright."

A silent moment went by and you watched as a tear ran down her cheek, before she wiped the evidence away. You knew that this wasn't the Jane that you used to know and love. Yet, she was still Jane, and you still loved her.

She wouldn't look at you as she spoke.

"Drusilla, I- I do not enjoy the company of men" she confessed almost in a whisper.

You tilted your head, you didn't either, but what did she mean by that?

"Yes, I don't enjoy their company either" you chuckled.

She shook her head, "No, I mean, I am not attracted to men Drusilla, I am attracted to women."

Your breath picked up as your eyes went wide and you stared up at her, blinking a few times. You couldn't believe what she had just confessed. She was, the same as you? Jane looked at you before she turned her head quickly, sighing and beginning to stand. You pulled at the sleeve of her dress lightly, hoping she would stay seated. She did, and you cupped her cheek.

"Jane, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you" you smiled, then you pulled her into a tight hug.

You could tell that Jane was conflicted as you hugged her, yet she hugged you back.

"It is?" she mumbled into your hair.

"Of course it is!" you beamed at her.

You took a deep breath, it was time to confess to someone besides your one past love. Otherwise, you were scared you'd be alone forever.

"Can I tell you something, Jane?"

Jane pulled back and gave you her full attention, nodding her head.

"I am attracted to woman as well, but I've only told one person before."

Jane's mouth dropped open as she looked at you in shock.

"You are?"

You nodded your head, but didn't offer anything more. Her lip quivered as she stared at you, nobody had ever confessed something so personal, something so deep and meaningful to her. Nobody she knew felt the exact same as she did.

"Oh Silla" she whispered, pulling you into her. "I'm so glad that I have you again."

You smiled into her shoulder, you were so happy to have her back. You pressed a kiss to her cheek without thinking, and she pulled away slowly to look at you. Your eyes met hers, and they reminded you of galaxies, the brightest ones you'd ever see. They were all consuming, all knowing, they screamed at you to understand. Alas, deep inside, Jane was a mystery.

Her eyes panned down to your lips, and you looked down at hers. She looked so soft, so pleasing, she looked delicious. Without realizing it, your face inched closer to Janes and you bumped noses. You let out a small gasp as you looked back up to her eyes, but she wasn't phased. Her hand moved to the back of your head to hold you close, and for the first time in a long time, you could say that you were scared.

"Jane?" you whispered, your breath warm against her face.

"Yes, Silla?" she whispered back.

You smiled, "You're beautiful, you always were."

Jane's breath hitched and you felt her pull your face towards hers. She pressed her lips to yours needily yet sweetly, a kiss of longing. You melted into her touch, you were right, she was delicious. You brought your hands to her face and kissed her back giddily. You wondered if this was what heaven felt like.

Suddenly, you were overcome with anger over the earlier situation at the saloon. How dare that man touch her, how dare he kiss her. He didn't deserve her for one second, he didn't deserve to feel this good. You pulled away from Jane, eyes going wide.

"Jane, it's not safe for us out here" you breathed heavily.

Jane came back to reality fast, "Right, you're right."

You reluctantly dropped your hands from her face, missing her touch instantly. You looked down at your lap, you wondered if she would want to stay with you for the night.

You looked up at her as she spoke, "I don't want to leave you so soon" she said with a frown.

You blushed, "I would love to catch up with you. Would you like to stay with me tonight, Jane?"

She hesitated, pondering over what she would tell her brother. A small grin soon formed on her face, screw it, of course she would.

"I would love to, Silla."

You unlocked the door to your small house and gestured for Jane to enter. You walked to the kitchen to tidy up quickly and pour yourself a drink, Jane followed.

"Would you like a drink, Jane?" you smiled up at the tall woman.

She smiled back, "That would be lovely."

You handed her a full glass as you made your way to the back of your house, hoping that you both could sit outside and enjoy the warm night. As Jane followed behind you, you heard her footsteps stop. You knew that she had stopped at the open room just next to your kitchen.

"What's this?" she asked, peering into the room.

You turned abruptly and closed the door, locking it and placing the key in your pocket. "Just…collectables" you mumbled, turning away and walking again, hoping that she would follow you.

Yes, you had a room full of collected knives and weapons and what not, it was part of your job, but that didn't mean that anyone had to know about that room. Nobody could know about that room. Your boss had taken you on even though you were a woman. Obviously, women were not allowed to do most jobs, especially highly skilled ones like yours. However, your boss thought that having you on his team was stealthy, an advantage, as nobody would ever expect a woman assassin, and he was right.

You opened the door to your balcony and sat down at a small iron table with chairs. You looked at Jane and smiled, hoping that she couldn't see the nervousness on your face. She sat across from you and looked out into the darkness. You wished that it was daylight so that she could see the beautiful flowers and pond that you were overlooking, you remembered how much she loved nature.

"So, how have the years treated you Jane?"

You thought that they had treated her quite well, considering she was still as ethereal as always, perhaps a bit more broken down.

She looked at you, "Quite well, I must say."

You studied her expression the best you could through the limited candlelight, and you knew that something had taken a toll on poor Jane.

You smiled sadly, "I suppose keeping a secret like that takes a lot out of a person."

Jane chuckled and nodded her head, "Yes, I suppose it did take a lot out of me."

You took a sip of your drink as she smiled sadly back at you.

"I never knew why you left, Silla" she stated quietly.

You looked down into your drink and shook your head, "I never knew why I left either, Jane."

A frown formed on her face, "I see."

You didn't know what to say to Jane, you had thought about her and missed her for so many years. The past few years you had thought about her less and less, but you still missed her more than anyone. You missed her comfort and her sternness, her caring demeanour and her protectiveness. You looked up at the sky and caught site of a shooting star, slowly making it's way across the sky. You reached over and grasped her hand, getting her attention.

"Jane look, it’s a shooting star! Make a wish!" you exclaimed.

Jane chuckled at you as she looked up at the star, and you watched as she closed her eyes. You closed yours as well, wishing for Jane to never leave you again, and for you to never leave her. You opened your eyes and smiled at her as you waited for blue eyes to meet yours. Part of you wanted to hold it all in, to not tell her how you felt, to not let her know that you missed her as much as you did. Another part of you was so, so happy to have her again, to have the old Jane that you knew and loved, to have someone who knew you, who loved you.

You were staring at Jane, and when she opened her eyes she looked right at you.

A smile slowly lit up her face and she chuckled at your wide grin, "What?"

You blushed, "Did you make a wish?"

Jane squeezed your hand lightly and nodded in confirmation.

You let go of her hand and placed your drink on the table. You took two strides over to her and kneeled before her. You brought your hands up to her black bonnet, untied the bow, and placed it on the table. You gently ran your hands over her silky raven hair. You looked up into her eyes and stroked your thumbs carefully over her cheeks, pulling her slightly towards you.

"I really missed you Jane. As pathetic as it sounds, I have never had anyone who I was as comfortable and free with after you, after we parted."

Despite the fact that your confession was quite sad, and the way that you and Jane had reunited was quite horrible, you were still smiling ear to ear, so content and giddy to be staring at Jane's gorgeous face. Jane brought her hands up to caress your cheeks as she averted her gaze to you kneeling on the floor.

She whispered, "I haven't either, Drusilla."

Your smile fell at her confession. It seemed that she was ashamed of that fact, when you were so happy to finally have her back. Perhaps she didn't feel the same way that you did, and you didn't know what to say. Jane looked back down at you as your smile fell.

Her eyebrows furrowed, "What's wrong, Silla?"

As you locked eyes with her again you found innocence, confusion, guilt, and maybe, longing?

"I um- I " you stumbled over your words as you started to pull away from Jane, but she kept her grip on your face, keeping you close to her. She pulled you even closer, her eyes scanning your face for answers. You didn't know if she'd find any, but you took the time to memorize her features. Your gaze ran over her hooded eyes, her thin eyebrows, her defined nose, her small chin, her plump lips, her -"I was there when you got that scar" you whispered.

Your eyes shot up to Jane's, you hadn't meant to say that aloud.

She smiled sincerely, "Yes, yes you were."

Many of your classmates picked on you. You were shorter than them, and a little bit chubby. You were quiet, and you loved talking to the plants and flowers. You also talked to the bugs and animals, and you often built them little houses out of sticks, leaves, rocks, and dirt. You and Jane had met at school, before you even knew that you were neighbours. Jane also had a love for plants, but your quiet, shy, demeanour was the opposite of hers. Somehow, she had taken a liking to you, and she took you, the 'weird girl', under her wing. Of course, Jane was bullied too. When you both got a little bit older, you had learned to stand up and fight back for her, like she did for you. You knew that Jane could fight for herself, but she didn't care very much when kids bullied her, she only cared when they bullied you. Edward was one of those kids who bullied you. Of course, him and Jane made fun of each other, but they were siblings, it was different. One day, you were in Jane's backyard, building a 'house' for the bugs and frogs that were around. You and Jane were a bit older at this point, but you both still loved nature, you loved spending time with the creatures. Jane was planting some flowers in the yard, when Edward walked up behind you. "Why are you playing with bugs, that's gross" he scoffed. You were crouched down and you turned to face him, holding a frog in your hands. "It's not gross, they're sweet, see?" you smiled, holding the frog out to him. "Get that away from me!" he spat, swatting at your hands and making you drop the frog on the ground. You gasped and looked down at the frog as it laid there, not moving. You poked at it gently, hoping it would get up and hop away. When it didn't move, tears filled your eyes and you let out a whimper. "No! Are you okay froggy? Please get up" you sniffled. You tried to stand it up so that it was on it's feet, but it just fell back down. Tears landed onto the ground as you stared at it, and Edward let out a menacing laugh. "It's just a stupid frog. Why are you crying, freak." Jane had heard you crying and had heard Edward calling you a freak. "Edward!" she hollered, standing from the garden and taking long strides towards him. "What did you do?" she asked angrily, looking down at you who was still poking at the frog. "It's just a frog, Jane" he defended himself. You had turned your focus towards them fighting, and watched Jane seethe in anger. She looked at you, "What happened, Dru?" You wiped tears away from your eyes as you spoke quietly, "I held the frog out to him and he swatted at it, knocking it out of my hands. Now it's not moving!" you cried. Jane turned back to Edward, pointing her dirt covered hand at him, "Don't you ever call her a freak you wimp. And don't ever touch her or her frogs!" Edward laughed at Jane, he rolled his eyes at her and mocked her. You turned back to the frog as you started to dig a hole in the dirt for it to lay. You heard Jane and Edward fighting behind you, but you continued to dig through your tears. A few moments later, you heard Jane scream. You quickly stood and faced her, finding her top lip cut open. She was bleeding profusely, staring Edward down with hatred. It turned out that Edward was messing with knives that his father had given him, and he was carelessly swinging them around. When Jane got mad at him, he took one out and 'threatened' her, but she knew that he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. Still, she got too close to him, and he sliced her lip by accident. Jane was in shock and just stood there, holding her lip in pain. Edward didn’t look like he had any mercy, as he stood there with a smirk on his face, not saying a thing. You lashed out at him and pushed him to the ground, ripping the knife out of his hand and throwing it into the woods.

You brought your thumb down to trace over her lip scar, carefully feeling the texture of her skin. She was so warm, so delicate, and you wanted to feel her lips against yours again, you needed to feel her lips again. Your gaze met hers and you saw her blush as her eyes suddenly averted yours, like she had been caught in an act. You giggled and placed a kiss on her nose, making her smile wider. You noticed that she actually supressed a giggle. Perhaps she did feel the same as you, and you decided to take the chance this time. You brought a hand up and tangled it in her hair. You ran your thumb over her bottom lip as you licked at your lips, and you heard Jane gasp quietly. You brought your lips as close as you could to hers without touching, and you waited to see if she would pull away. When she didn't, you let out a breath and smiled, softly pressing your lips to hers. Jane kissed you back immediately, bringing her hands to your neck and holding you close. You kissed her passionately, slowly, kissing her had been long overdue. You forced your tongue into Jane's mouth and she let out a whimper, which turned you on even more. It was so heartwarming to see Jane's walls knocked down, her stern guard dropped for a bit. You were honoured to be able to see her sweet side, to feel her give in. You had to sit up on your knees to reach her, but you brought your hands up to Jane's hair and started to undo the pins. You let her long hair fall down as you brought your lips to her neck, kissing up from what skin her dress wasn't hiding. You nipped at her neck, giving kitten licks and eliciting moans from Jane. It sounded like she was trying to hold them back, but you wanted her to be loud.

"Jane, dearest" you breathed, moving to bite and kiss at her pulse point.

"S-silla" she whimpered, as you brought your lips back to hers. Jane pulled you up from your kneeling position and sat you on her lap so that you were straddling her. She brought her hands to your waist as you continued to kiss, and you ground your hips down into hers. You weren't exactly sure how far Jane wanted to go tonight, but you would stop if she opposed to anything. You pulled away and pressed your forehead to hers, her lips were swollen and parted as she looked up at you. You figured that Jane was tired of being the stern one, the one in charge, the one who made decisions, the one who acted like she was always fine. You wanted her to relax, to feel cared about, so you took a deep breath in. Breathing heavily, you spoke, "Jane, I would like to take care of you tonight, if you want that, of course." She narrowed her eyes in confusion before she understood what you meant. Her eyes went wide and she blushed, nodding her head shyly.

"I would love that, Drusilla" she smiled.

You stood and held your hand out for Janes. When she took it, you walked her inside to your bedroom.

You searched through your clothes, hoping you would have a nightgown to fit Jane. You pulled out a black one and prayed that it was long enough.

"This may fit you Jane" you smiled as you handed it to her.

She smirked and raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean 'may' fit me?"

Your smile dropped and you stumbled, "You are, uh, you are much taller than me" you blushed.

Jane chuckled and placed a hand on your shoulder, leaning down to your ear.

"Perhaps it would be easier to sleep sans clothing" she whispered seductively.

Your jaw dropped as you looked up at her, before a sly grin spread across your face.

You shrugged your shoulders and winked, "Whatever tickles your fancy."

Jane turned and walked to your bed. She placed the nightgown down and began to undo the buttons on her dress. You knew that Jane would have a lady's maid, and you watched her struggle to reach behind herself. You walked over to her and calmly moved her hands away from the buttons.

"May I?" you asked innocently.

Jane didn't look back at you, but you saw her smile before she nodded, "Please."

You unbuttoned her dress and helped Jane take it off, then she turned to face you. She slowly unbuttoned her white collar shirt and untied her petticoat. She blushed as you gazed up and down her form, then you moved behind her again. You brought your hands to her shoulders, lightly trailing them down her arms. When you reached her waist, you began to untie and remove her corset.

"How do you feel Jane? Are you alright?"

You didn't give her any context, but she knew what you were referring to.

She sighed, "Yes, I'm fine. I'm relieved now that I'm with you Silla, and not stuck in the grasp of that slimy man." You couldn't help but chuckle at her tone, full of detest.

Once Jane was stripped down to her chemise and drawers, she sat on your bed. You were too busy staring at her breasts through her chemise, and the tempting pale skin of her long neck to notice that she had picked up the nightgown. You wasted no time as you straddled Jane's thighs and began gently kissing up her arm, to her shoulder and her collarbone. Jane let out contempt hums as you tucked her dark hair behind her ear and nipped at her earlobe, and she let the nightgown fall as she brought her hands to your hips, pulling you closer to hers. Suddenly, you felt a heat of dominance take over you, as you had asked Jane earlier if you could take care of her. You wanted nothing more than to take care of her right now. You got off of her lap and pulled her to stand. You sat on the bed and gripped her hips, pulling her to straddle you this time. She gasped as she basically fell onto your lap, and you smirked when you realized that your eye site was in line with her chest. You ran a hand through her long wavy hair to the back of her head. You grabbed a handful and pulled lightly to expose her neck to you. Jane let out a whimper as this, and you kitten licked up her neck to underneath her jaw as she began to rut her hips against yours.

"May I remove your chemise, Jane?" you purred into her ear.

She let out a hum and breathily replied "Please, Drusilla."

You brought your hands down to lift the bottom of her chemise and your eyes settled on her wet center. You could see her black hair and wet shine due to the crotchless drawers, and more heat travelled through you as you were overcome with the need to feel her against your skin. You almost drooled as you tried to focus on the task at hand. You pulled her chemise off and threw it to the side, bringing your lips to her right nipple and licking. Her breasts were on the smaller side, which was perfect to you. They were velvet in your mouth, and you moaned as Jane brought her hands up to grasp your neck and pull you into her chest further. She arched her back and ground down into your hips harder, and you closed your eyes as you sucked at her breast. You moved to her other breast to nip at her lightly, and you looked up to her face to see her eyes closed and her lips parted, chest rising and falling heavily. You tugged at her nipple and she gasped, "Silla, do that again" she pleaded.

You grazed your teeth over the sensitive spot as she shivered, and you began to kiss down her sternum and stomach, as if you had no way to oppose the gravity that was pulling you closer to her core. Jane's hands landed on your shoulders as she leaned back to allow you to trail lower. You moved down her body, your face close to her center. You looked up at Jane with pleading eyes, and she nodded briskly, pushing your head down. You smiled and stuck your tongue out, swiping it up her folds. You settled at her clit, sucking and licking for a minute as you listened to Jane whimper above you.

You brought your lips to Jane's and purred "You taste divine, my dear."

You then swiftly grasped Jane's ass and picked her up. She gasped as you stood and wrapped her legs around your middle. Jane giggled as you walked and placed her on your bed, and your heart swelled at the sound. You hastily removed your dress, taking your knife out of the secret pocket and flipping it up into the air, catching it. You heard Jane gasp from the bed and you looked down at her. She was wide eyed, staring at you in amusement. You thought you had made her nervous and red overtook your face.

"Sorry Jane, it's a habit" you chuckled. You placed the knife down on your bedside table and removed your clothes, down to your corset and undergarments, which you left on. You slid in behind Jane and let her head fall back onto your shoulder. You took her chin in your hand and turned her face to you as you captured her lips in a deep kiss. You swiped your tongue across her lips and she allowed you to enter her mouth. Jane moaned as your hand caressed her cheek, and it spurred you on to kiss her more fierce fully. You pulled away panting, letting your forehead rest against hers.

"Can I remove your drawers Jane?" you asked, hand reaching down to the waist band.

Jane nodded before helping you remove them. You pulled Jane closer so that her back was pressed against your front, and slowly trailed your hand down her creamy curves before letting it rest on the inside of her thigh. Jane parted her legs willingly and you chuckled, bringing your other hand up to squeeze at her breast.

You buried your head in her neck and cooed, "Is this alright with you darling?"

You heard Jane suck in a breath and then breath out a yes. You wrapped your legs around hers, holding them open as you swiped a finger through her folds. You brought your finger to your mouth and sucked on it, looking Jane in the eyes as you did.

You groaned, "You're so wet Jane, god you taste so good."

Jane moaned at your words and grabbed your face, smashing her lips to yours again. As your tongues slid against each other, you brought your fingers down to her center and rubbed at her clit lightly. Jane breathed heavily into your mouth as she began to squirm beneath you. As you picked up the pace, Jane parted from you and began to let out loud whimpers.

"S-silla" she moaned, and you couldn't help but tease her.

"Yes beautiful? What do you need?" you asked as you kissed behind her ear. Jane was silent besides the sound of her moans, and you figured that she wasn't used to not being the one in charge.

You slowed your pace, "Jane, are you okay with this dynamic?"

She turned to look at you, her eyes glossed over. "Yes" she whispered.

"I want you to relax and give in Jane, I just want to make you happy. How does that sound?" you asked with a smile.

Jane nodded reassuringly and grinned, "I want this, please" she whimpered. You picked up your pace on her bundle of nerves and watched as she closed her eyes and threw her head back onto your shoulder again. Jane stared letting her moans and whimpers become louder and you could feel your own wetness dripping onto your bed.

"Silla, please, I need more" Jane moaned, and you wasted no time in sliding two fingers into her. She groaned as you filled her up and you immediately set a steady pace. Soon you were curling your fingers inside of her and her legs were trembling under yours. You forced her legs to stay open and brought your lips to her ear. "What a gorgeous girl, such a good girl submitting" you purred.

"You feel so good around my fingers love, do you like that?"

"Yes, oh yes Silla!" Jane cried out as you brought her closer to the edge. You kissed her shoulder as you pulled at her nipples, and Jane didn't hold back.

"Please can I cum? God-please Silla!"

You smiled and picked up your pace, "Cum for me beautiful" you breathed into her hair. Jane's mouth opened and she scrunched her eyes shut as she screamed your name. Her legs shook and you kissed her shoulder to help her relax, then you pressed gentle kisses to her head.

Your own desire was too much to bare, so you quickly slipped out from behind Jane and rid yourself of your corset and undergarments. Jane eyed you up and down before she crawled towards you and sat on the edge of the bed. She pulled you into her by your hips and began to massage your ass with her hands. She kissed your stomach softly and you moaned. She reached a hand up and pulled you down to her by your neck.

She whispered in your ear, "You are gorgeous my darling, I need to feel you writhing beneath me." Your eyes went wide. As hot as it was, you didn't like Jane trying to turn the tables here. You grasped her thighs which squished under your touch and pulled her up to you. She wrapped her legs around you and squealed. It seemed she like to be manhandled, or perhaps she wasn't used to being the one that was carried, due to her stature.

"Do you like being handled baby?" you cooed, squeezing at her thighs harder. Jane blushed and wrapped her hands around your neck, her forehead meeting yours.

"Yes! You're so strong Drusilla, goodness you’re so enticing" she breathed.

You captured her lips with yours again, leading her to grind against your stomach. She moaned into the kiss and you felt her slick smear across your skin. You groaned and plopped her down into the bed again, more aggressive this time. You climbed on top of Jane and pried her legs open, placing one of your legs under hers and the other over hers. You lined your wet center up with hers and you let out a loud moan when you felt her heat. You bent over to kiss her neck as you rutted against her.

"Shit Jane, you feel so good against me! You are divine my dear" you whimpered. Jane let out a quiet cry into your ear and dug her nails into your back.

"Drusilla, that was so hot- when you threatened that man. Shit!" Jane breathed between moans.

"He's a wimp Jane…he doesn't deserve you, love" you panted. You pressed yourself closer to her, you needed more friction.

"You're so attractive when you protect me Silla, Oh!"

Jane moaned and her mouth dropped open. You took the opportunity to stick your tongue into her mouth. She whimpered against you and you grinded into her faster.

"Fuck him!" you gritted, holding back a cry.

Jane closed her eyes and screamed, "Fuck me!"

You hid your face in her neck, groaning as you felt your release approaching. You gripped Jane's delicious hips tightly, and her moans became more unhinged. Your pace got sloppier as you whimpered, but you wanted her to come first.

"Cum for me Jane!" you cried, and Jane threw her head back as she tightened her grip on you.

"Ugh, shit!" you muffled your cries into her shoulder. Her body twitched as her wetness dripped onto you and down your legs, and you followed right after. As the both of you laid there breathing heavily, you nuzzled your face into her black hair. Jane smelled of fresh linen, your favorite, and of floral scent and old books. You smiled, she was and would always be the only comfort, the best comfort, that you needed. You crawled off of her and rested beside her as you pulled her close. Jane smiled as you met her captivating eyes, she looked so content, she looked so pure.

"Thank you for taking care of me tonight Drusilla. In more ways than one" she giggled.

You smiled and kissed her cheek, "Taking care of you is my pleasure, literally" you chuckled.

Jane's hand caressed your cheek and she pulled you in for a sweet kiss.

"You were always mysterious, Dru" she smiled shyly.

Your heart swelled at the nickname that Jane had called you when you were younger.

Then your eyebrows furrowed, "Me? I always thought that you were the mystery."

Jane looked away, grinning. "Well, you’re the one with the knife collection."

Shit. Jane saw the worry on your face and giggled, "Don't worry my sweet, your secret is safe with me."

After a long silence between you and Jane, she rested her forehead against yours.

"Sweetling?" she asked timidly.

"Yes Janey?" you breathed.

She paused, "What did you wish for, on the star?"

You smiled as you blushed, and averted your gaze from Jane.

"I um, I wished for us to never live without one another again. I wished for us to never be separated, like we did when we were younger."

Jane's face became even softer and she pouted, she looked adorable. You were so sweet. When you were younger, Jane appreciated having you around to keep herself levelled out and sane. She always felt safe around you, she always felt like she was being pulled towards you by some force. She slowly brought her lips to yours and kissed you gently again, and you thought that you felt her eyelashes wet. She didn't open her eyes as whispered against your lips, "I wished for us, Drusilla. I wished for you." You pressed your lips to Jane's cheeks as you smiled, you couldn't believe that you had Jane back. She had been your person, and you left, but something had brought you two back together. She was yours then, and she was yours now, as if a force brought her back to you and you to her. You brought your hand up and ran your fingers through her hair, scratching at her scalp.

"I adore you, Jane Murdstone."

Jane's eyes fluttered open to find only truth and sincerity in your eyes, and she asked the question that had been bothering her all night.

"How did you recognize me Drusilla? I didn't recognize you. How did you know who I was?" her face twisted in confusion and shame as she trailed off. You chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'd know you anywhere, Jane. You're truly magnetic."

#gwendolineuniverse #gwendoline christie #lesbian #jane murdstone #jane murdstone fic #the personal history of david copperfield #fanfiction #queer #smut

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