#i do not want to be affiliated with them or have my art seen as something horrible because of the way i draw a character

[varibean]

NOOOO PLEASE NO TALL VARIAN NOOOO THE PAAAIIIIIIN TAKE IT AWAY!!!

hey i know this is probably you trying to be funny but this is actually really fucking rude and a mean thing to say about a person and their art

i do not appreciate being lumped together with a person who harasses the fandom and says horrible derogatory things to them. it's really shitty to see someone making art for themselves and then responding in this way, as if their art is an awful terrible thing just because it incorporates a headcanon that a rude person also happens to like

don't fucking send this shit to me

[crow-quet]

TO REITERATE: I will NOT be taking any requests that are incestuous or anything that contains an adult x a child. I am NOT a proshipper nor do I support proshippers. I have tried to be polite but firm because I am a public figure here technically and I don't want to abuse any position I have or be mean.

However, that being said, I have been clear in multiple posts that I do not condone that sort of behavior or even tolerate it anywhere near me. I am no longer going to be polite.

Enough.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Avisos cuddle pile

Idea given to me by my wonderful mutual @katy-the-same-as-tsuki, go check her art out, she's amazing.

You were out in Avisos, Bael having ordered that Naberius, Stolas and Amon show you around the country. Compered to Gehenna's cozy atmosphere, Tartaros' opulence or Hades' beauty, Avisos was a lot louder, more visually stimulating than anything you've seen in hell so far. It was as if every building was begging you to pay attention to it.

The three demons you were with were bickering constantly, for God knows what dump reason. They would try to drag you in different directions since they each wanted to show you their favorite part of the country.

Stolas: "We should visit the bird caffee! You love birds, don't you, Mc?"

Naberius: "You only want to go to the bird caffee because you like it. Mc is clearly an intelectual and is more interested in learning about the culture of Hell. We should go to the National Museum of Avisos."

Amon: "I think we should go to that restaurant that serves his majesty Beelzebub's semen, I'm kind of hungry."

Naberius: "Kind of hungry? You haven't eaten in months! I'm surprised you're still standing."

You were starting to get bored of hearing them constantly arguing, so, after circling the same 5 buildings because none of them were paying attention to where they were going, you decide to speak up.

Mc: "I know where I want to go."

All of them at once: "Where?"

Mc: "The castle. I want to go take a nap in the castle."

Stolas and Naberius looked shocked but Amon cheered.

Amon: "I like the way you think."

Stolas: "But we have so many places to visit"

Amon: "You heard them. To bed we go!"

Amon picks you up and rushes you to the castle. He was surprisingly fast and strong for someone that always complains about being hungry. Naberius and Stolas turn into their animal forms to chase after Amon.

Bael was on the phone trying to stop 5 different financial crisises at once. Someone from Hades died in Avisos while in a shop run by someone from Paradise Lost, but the guy from Paradise Lost wasn't affiliated with Avisos, but he was doing business there so now it's a logistical nightmare as to who is trully resposible for the death. Bael groaned as he hit his head to the table.

Bael: "Bell, when I catch you, Bell-"

He's inturupted by his three headaches nobles exquarting the guest of honor, the child of Solomon themselves. Bael wanted to make a good impression in front of you since you could help him with some of the external conflicts (and totally not because he has a crush on you).

Bael tried to put on his most charming smile in front of you, but everyone in the room just looks at him with shock, disgust and concern.

Naberius: "Bael... are you alright?"

Stolas: "Did you eat what you cooked again?"

Amon: "I think his fake majesty passed away and this is his mummified corpse. I heard some demons do that after death."

Amon was getting ready to open the flash on his phone as a way of simulating the lighting of a candle for a dead one, but Bael whipped the phone out of the younger demon's hand.

Bael: "I am not dead. Ugh, how was your outing together? You got back quite shortly. Has anything caught your interest, Mc?"

Mc: "Yes, actually."

You grab Bael by the wrist and drag him from his chair.

Bael: "What do you think you're doing, child of Solomon? I have very important matters to attend to."

Mc: "You need sleep. Think of it this way, if you die of exhaustion, who's going to run the country?"

Bael couldn't argue with your logic even though he wanted to. He just let himself be guided outside the office. The three other nobles followed you to the castle's garden, where you layed with Bael. The three looked at you confused before understanding what your plan was.

Naberius transformed into his Cerberus form and curled up around you and Bael, Stolas nestled on your lap and Amon spooned you from behind while you hugged Bael.

Bael: "This is very sweet of you, but I have a job to do and there's a lot of tension between-"

Mc: "Sleep."

Bael finally gave in and stopped struggling, giving in to his exhaustion. Hearing his soft snors as he nuzzled to your chest and Naberius' fur almost made you want to record it as a souvenir from Avisos. No shop could sell the serenity you felt right now.

When everyone fell asleep, a sole fly landed on your arm. At least in spirit, all of Avisos was here.

[shiny-jr]

I know you probably don't want to talk about this anymore, but I'm still really curious. Genshin Natlan characters have been revealed, and I want to know your opinion

Taking a long sigh. The fact that you seem hesitant to ask this means you probably have an idea of what my response would be like. Just so I don't have to end up making multiple posts about this topic, I'm gonna try to include everything here. If I forget something and someone asks later, I might be willing to address it.

So, heads up. This is a long rant. Shiny rants. Disclaimer, I am Mexican-American, so I believe I have some say on some of the cultures involved in this fiasco. Some of them, not all. That being said, I'll try to handle the others with as much respect as possible, but forgive me if I make a mistake somewhere.

I stopped playing genshin when Sumeru was announced. Despite me not having any affiliation with the cultures represented by Sumeru, I remember being livid as some of y'all might recall. So, let's start off with:

THE AMALGAMATION OF CULTURES. This meaning how very weird it is that somehow the european/east asian cultures get their own distinct nation dedicated to one sole peoples while brown/black cultures get meshed into one unrecognizable figure. Mondstadt is based off Germany, Liyue is based off China, Inazuma is based off Japan, Fontaine is based off France. On the other hand, Sumeru is a mix of south asia, the middle east, and north africa while Natlan takes that a step further by involving Incan, Mayan, Maori, Yoruban, and Hopi cultures (of what we know so far).

Why are all these other nations so carefully crafted and picked, but it feels as if for Natlan and Sumeru, the developers put up a map and grabbed some darts, then decided to use whatever culture wherever a handful of darts landed on the board? In the way they're handling it, it feels like these cultures are nothing but an accessory to them. An excuse to make these "exotic" looking characters, but not even make them properly due to the horrible designs and lack of melanin (these are two topics I will come back to).

It feels like they got lazy, and/or they clearly don't care enough to do in depth research properly as they might've done with past nations. The best example I've seen of this is Yunjin and Ororon. Yunjin is a beautiful example of a character done right and respectfully, as she is meant to be a Chinese opera singer. They even went so far as to hire an actual Chinese opera singer for a song she performs in-game. However, Ororon takes the name of "Olorun" which is a Yoruban deity, but when you look at this character's design, there is nothing that would even hint towards the fact that he's meant to be African.

This brings me to the second part, CULTURE AS COSTUMES. As mentioned previously, nothing about this Ororon character portrays the fact that he's meant to be African. NOTHING. If you do not know what he looks like, the character named after a Yoruban god is quite literally just a pale anime boy in edgy clothing and has some type of dog/cat/animal ears. I am not joking. That is what he looks like. If you don't believe me, look it up.

Do you know what the saddest part about all this is? It's the fact that I guarantee you, sometime in the future when Ororon appears in-game, gets his own quest, then his own banner, all that jazz, the chances of images of him appearing when you look up Olorun are high. In fact, when Sumeru was announced, I vividly remember doing research on the characters there were announced, such as Al-Haitham. When you looked up the name Al-Haitham then, google showed an Islamic astronomer. However, if you look up the name now, you immediately get builds and character guides and art of genshin's Al-Haitham, which is horrible when you really think about it. Because the same thing happened to Dehya (a Berber warrior queen), and it's about to happen to Kachina (Hopi spirits), Kinich (Mayan Sun God), Mualani (a princess of Hawaii), etc.

When you look at these characters, Natlan and Sumeru included, most of their designs don't even look as if they're portraying a culture. For now, I'll focus on Natlan.

Kinich is supposed to be Mayan, however, nothing about his design is giving Latino or indigenous Mayan. As a Mexican, I should be able to look at him and say, 'hey, he looks kinda like me or my cousins! Oh, I recognize those patterns, or that type of footwear/shirt/pants/headwear.' SOMETHING to that degree, but if you had shown me him and I didn't know, I would have never guessed.

Another infuriating design is Murata, the pyro archon. Tell me why does she look like a futuristic biker girl instead of a Maori/Polynesian warrior? The level of disrespect, ESPECIALLY because according to what I've gathered, her name is based off an actual entity/deity.

Time to point out the obvious, and I'm gonna say it but WHY ARE THEY WHITE? Yes, I know the argument about how not everyone from latino/arab cultures is brown, I know. But not everyone is white either, so please, get over it. If the entirety of Fontaine can be white because they're French, by that same logic, wouldn't it makes sense to make the entirety of Natlan brown/black because they're indigenous/african?

It lies well within hoyo's abilities to include colored characters. They have millions of dollars and they say they want a global audience, they just don't do it because there is major colorism there. Saying "but they're a Chinese company!" is no excuse either, because then that would be automatically classifying them as ignorant of anything outside of China when they clearly are not if they utilize strong elements of hip-hop and jazz (both with origins in African American communities) in their other games, want to pick these cultures like accessories on a shelf, and make brown/black npc enemies with locs and other poc features. I won't immediately jump to blaming the designers either, because it's probably that they have tried presenting ideas that do actually cater to the wider audience and poc people, but they were most likely turned down by higher-ups.

Anyways, I've been typing this for a while now and my mind is blanking. I'm sure I had more to say but I currently cannot remember it. I'm glad people are FINALLY speaking out against this, it's about time and actually late because the outrage around this should've happened back in Sumeru but better late than never.

If you don't agree with me or my takes on this, don't even bother trying to look for a response because I'm not gonna argue about this. That's about it for now though.

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hi, there it's so great to find an amazing writer who enjoys Lookism so much! Please keep at it, your HC's are so much fun to read! If it's not too much to ask for the boys like Gun, Samuel, and Vasco with s/o who is a foreign girl, a very capable fighter, and honorable in combat but outside the fight she is quite self-conscious and a bit naive.

Not me reading the first part of this and thinking you're being sarcastic af lol

Thanks for being so kind anon :') I'm glad you're enjoying it, I have SO much fun writing them and putting my stupidity out! Thanks for the ask! I had a little difficulty writing it.... this really isn't very good but hope this hits the spot.

Lookism with non S. Korean S/O

You're from somewhere vague and overseas. Scenario with your partner (Gun, Samuel, Vasco, Jake)

Gun

Your boyfriend was asking you to fight yet again. You're getting pretty tired of it.

You only moved to South Korea not too long ago and ever since he discovered you picked up your skills from overseas, all he makes you do is fight him. And he doesn't go easy on you.

What happened to dates? What happened to romance?

You thought your boyfriend was growing colder towards you, now always in his own head or just studying martial arts.

"...Gun?"

He peers at you over the top of his sunglasses. Your words are hard to say aloud.

"Do you ... do you not want to be with me anymore?"

"What makes you think that?"

"All we do is fight... Literally! I can't remember the last time you even asked me for anything else."

He pulls you into his arms, "You're actually challenging me. Do you know how rare that is? I'm more turned on than ever."

Samuel

You transferred from overseas after helping source partners to help grow Workers into the behemoth it is today.

Back in your field days, there wasn't anything that couldn't be solved with some violence, but your morals and fairness made you stand out amongst would-be enemies.

Even with the 3rd and 4th Affiliate President as your boyfriend, no one could deny your competence or throw around accusation of nepotism.

But you still had to get your head around the working culture in this country.

"Sammy, do I really have to call you Mr. Seo in the office?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that a bit weird? People have seen us together."

"No, I'm your boss. You need to show respect and address me properly here."

"Oh... Do you actually not want anyone to know I'm your girlfriend?"

Samuel pinches the bridge of his nose, can't quite believing he's going to give in on this.

"Fine. You can call me Samuel,"

"What about-"

"Not Sam. Not Sammy. Samuel."

Vasco

You had agreed to meet in the park for a date with Vasco.

The first time you kissed him, he nearly jumped out of his skin claiming that wasn't how dating worked in South Korea. You found out later it was just his eccentricities.

Vasco texted you that he was running late when a group of guys start harassing you.

You threaten to call the police, but when they put their hands on you, you weren't left with many options.

"Y/N?!" Your boyfriend was staring at you in shock.

"No! Euntae, I didn't want you to see me like this!" you hide your bloodied fist from him.

"What! That was amazing!"

"Thank? you?"His compliment made you blush, you knew it wasn't what 'ladies' do but he liked it?

"Y/N! I thought people only had street fights in South Korea! Do they fight overseas too?"

Jake

You think this might be the first time Jake treated you to a meal. A job well done, he had said after you beat up some thugs who were harassing the girls.

Jake's often running off to god knows where to get god knows what done, leaving you to look after the street.

Is this the supposed Girlfriend Privileges? You having to fight in his stead? You reckon you're getting the short end of the stick.

You stare at the violently red pot of stew in front of you, with some unidentified vegetables floating around

"Jake...? What is this?"

"Oh! You've never tried many Korean dishes, right! It's kimchi stew, my favourite. Here." He spoons some into a bowl for you.

With your boyfriend's loving gaze on you, you had no choice but to take a sip.

"ACK!" you spit it out immediately and grab your glass of water to wash the vileness out of your mouth

Jake rolls his eyes at you, "You've got no taste" and takes his own mouthful.

"I know, I'm with you."

[eye-of-enigmatic-thought]

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a good December! These were my contributions to the @welcomehomefanzine winter zine! I managed to do more art this time too! For my contributions I wanted to draw art on various Winter traditions from different cultures, such as also my own! If you decide to colour in any of these, please @ me!!

Also keep in mind, we are not affiliated with Clown or the team behind WH, we are just fans who love the work!!

I wrote more on all the artworks under the cut! Including the traditions they were based on!

First one was a little visual pun on the first verse of '12 Days of Christmas', Poppy is the partridge in the pear tree! Not much to say about this one, it's my only Christmas related thing! Second one was based on the Southern Welsh winter tradition of the Mari Lwyd. The Mari Lwyd is a hobby horse made from a horse's skull and is then decorated. It is puppeteered to go to the doors of various houses where its handlers will sing verses on letting it in to the home, you are supposed to sing back excuses on why you can't let it in, and if you relent, you invite the Mari Lwyd and its handlers in your home, where it will eat your food and alcohol and terrorise your children! The tradition and its true origins and meaning and even etymology is unknown, but it's thought to have ancient Pagan roots! It seems here, Eddie relented in his songs to it and regretted everything immediately after!

Third image is another Poppy centric piece because I love her. Here she is dressed up as a figure from Schnabelperchten! This is a tradition seen only in Rauris Valley in Austria and is a manifestation of Perchta, a goddess from Alpine Paganism that took the form of a old woman who'd punish misbehaving children by slitting their bellies. For Schnabelperchten, on the 5th of January, figures dressed in smocks, jackets, and a beak-like mask will visit various homes to check their upkeep and cleanliness all while emitting a soft 'ga ga ga', in more ancient versions of the legend, if you did not keep your living quarters in good enough conditions, the Schnabelperchten would slit open your belly and dump all the rubbish inside! Poppy would never do that though! No one tell her about that part!! Last but not least is one based on a tradition from my culture! Here you see the entire neighbourhood celebrating Yalda Night and spending time with one anotherThis is a Persian/Iranian festival with Zoroastrian roots held on the Winter Solstice. This day was traditionally seen as ill omened as being the darkest day of the year, the forces of Ahriman and his Deevs were most active, and so much of the day entailed family and friends getting together in good company. They would read stories and poems (especially the Shahnameh or poems by Hafez) with nuts and various fruits from previous harvests being served, watermelon and pomegranates being the most prominent! It was also encouraged to stay well up after midnight lest misfortune befall you! Due to it also being the longest night, it was also seen as the birthdate of the sun deity Mehr (or Mithra), as the subsequent days would get longer.

This was all fun to do and I hope I did all these traditons justice!! I am most likely missing out a lot on my explanations for them, so I hope I at least peaked your interest in these different Winter festivities enough to look into them on your own!

[lumi-istortured-byengstars]

why you must have faith in KoHii/HiiKoha

gonna go on a little ramble, my mind can't stop thinking about this duo specifically (all the time, but this time, i have the power to gush on people about it)

So a little bit of spoiler warning before you go on ahead :3

If you want to add more onto this, don't be shy, I'd love to discuss this with someone

This will be very long i think, so yeah.. ;3

Gonna put a basic symbol line-break everytime i change topics in this post so...

Table of contents on this post's analysis:

Amagi Hiiro

Oukawa Kohaku

In-context HiiKoha/KoHii

Shameless fic promotion

.............♤❀.............

Both of them are seen as pure and precious (by their closest family members, at the very least) who were born and raised in the most fucked up scenario

Hiiro was seen and raised as nothing but an aide (for his brother, the future monarch) in his hometown, so much so that he wasn't even taught common sense or self-worth. He was raised to specifically only act on instinct and to do as instructed, aka he wasn't treated humanly, which he thought was normal. It still shook me when Hiiro said something that basically implied "if I weren't apart of the Amagi family, I might have died when I was little" i forgot which episode it's in but i specifically remember Hiiro saying that fondly after Aira asking him how he can be this annoying without dropping dead (chapter 1).

Maybe that's why Mayoi specifically said something along the lines of "he has a scent similar to mine, how interesting" when alkaloid was made. They have that similarity in which the both of them were treated as less of a human, so they believed it. They just reacted and lower themselves differently. Mayoi trying to avoid people so they don't have to be burdened by him to the point of believing he's nothing but filth and Hiiro, who, as I said, thought it was normal and think of it as basic etiquette to be treated like a stepping stone. (I shall stop myself here before this post digresses to a HiiMayo post lol)

He was even taught on to be a shield for his brother and he definitely knows how to kill someone using his bare hands with that martial art he always trained for. His pure, innocent, and kind mind never saw any of those as wrong. He thought it was right since everyone (the adults specifically) around him acts like it's normal. To put it simply: he was brainwashed since he was little and he's trying his best to think for himself ever since he got out of his homwtown.

.............♤❀.............

The other one, Kohaku, grew up in a family branch specifically treated as a beating stick to the main family tree. A disposable bloody stick, tainting a glorious garden to be precise. A garden called the Suou family. Hell, he wasn't even supposed to be alive. His humanity was denied of him so much so that his family had to hid him for years to keep him alive. His only friend being his cousin Tsukasa and his SNS buddy "Love." He grew up fairly "normal", he worked his dream job for COS PRO, a rising idol agency and even have a place in the Reimei dormitory, a school affiliated to COS PRO.

Maybe he was trained to and have assassinated some people and know the most painful way to effectively torture someone. But he's still most definitely an adolescent. Yknow, the kind to have sweet tooth, getting scared of zombies, and being a sassy teen who roasts people without fail.

.............♤❀.............

These two barely have interactions which is so so painful because of how well their dynamic is between every rare interaction they have. And Kohaku's newest idol story with Hiiro have shed the brightest light of a possibility that they'll add on some more story with them <-me being hopeful.

Now i shall enlighten you with how these two see each other in the story.

Hiiro sees Kohaku as Aira's friend and his brother's unitmate. Despite being older than him, he always tries to be polite with him (as he does to almost everyone) and refers to him by his family name and even put an honorific on it (which would no doubt make him sound a little distant). They barely talked or interact with one another, but it was Hiiro's friendliness that made them to be good enough acquaintances. Being the low-SQ guy he is, of course he doesn't see that as awkward. He simply thought of Kohaku as a friend since he's also Aira's friend. (Please HappyEle i need more Hiiro's POV of their relationship :"v)

Kohaku is pretty much in a similar situation as Hiiro but he thought of it through more (as much as he could at least). He refers to Hiiro like how the rest of crazy: b call him: "Otouto-han" / "Rinne's little brother." He started calling him "Hiiro-Han" after a couple of meet-ups which I can only assume is a result of hearing Aira's stories about him and how he isn't used to be treated with the kind of respect Hiiro gives out to people (Hiiro keeps finding ways to feel inferior to people in a logical way that icks him but Kohaku can't really tell what it is that he feels bad about, do you understand what I'm saying).

To put it simply, he thought that Hiiro was the total opposite of Rinne: way too innocent and naive for his own good. He considered Hiiro as a simple acquaintance until he began to realise that Hiiro seems to be friendlier than other acquaintances he knew (dude the crumbs HappyEle give on Kohaku's POV makes me go insane)

This made Kohaku became more confused about their relationship status (lol) especially after the events in Matrix (will talk about soon) where Kohaku sees for the first time how the Amagi(s) aren't so different from one another in terms of their stubbornness. He saw with his own eyes how Hiiro would go all out to do what he believes to be right, so much so that it scares him how Hiiro can still look so innocent despite of his capabilities. That fear got him thinking "are we friends or not?" Because of how Hiiro seems to be even friendlier after that event. And eventually the two losers (affectionately) finally start to be actually friends and not a mere acquaintance.

(I need more of them please)

.............♤❀.............

P.s. if you haven't caught onto it yet, both of them are idiots (in their own way) and i believe they'll both be perfect for each other once the two actually opens up about how fucked up their upbringing is.

Can you just imagine how Hiiro would casually talk about what happened to him in his childhood and Kohaku just looked at him with mixed feelings between pity and judgement and surprise? I can and shall use it to the best of my ability :3

Coming soon to AO3 (as soon as my account got approved) it'll focus more on the slices of life for these two + aira because aihiiko is perfection. I shall anounce and post the fic there as immediately as I can. If you're interested, I'm planning to name it as "Estranged Youths" so.. :3

[androdragynous]

tell me something about your art. fucking love the recent sharp angles.

thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble I love you. kiss

this is going to be a long post but I think it's important so I'm leaving it as a normal post and not a read more

I wrote more words and changed my mind because I got distracted a bunch of times by talking to myself. Enjoy

my own works in general have always been like. The Way By Which I Interact With The World which I think is a pretty common artist experience. my fan art tended to focus on my own characters in those settings rather than on the existing characters because of that, to my younger self's chagrin at times (the desire to Appeal To Fandom was much stronger in my younger years, which I think is also pretty typical). so there was always that lens of, like, these characters aren't me, but they could have been, in some way, or at least when viewed at certain angles. first guy is dealing with the same shit, second guy is doing some gender stuff baby me won't unpack for another five years, you get the idea.

and then the whole disability thing ramped up a few notches and everything went to shit, which is to say, for a really long time there I couldn't so much as look at art without pain, let alone long enough to create it. I did not have the tools to accomodate that disability or the finances to get them, and so for a really long time I was basically cut off from... what honestly felt like my ability to connect with people.

this sucked very badly in many ways. it's still not back to where it was before things got worse, but I'm happy with where it's been recently. I don't know how much of that is connected to getting a blood transfusion and the affiliated correction to my quantity of blood. I don't know how much of it is just pure desperation to reconnect with a world that I feel estranged from. We will come back to this point because I have a different tangent first:

I really don't like vent art. I don't like making it, I don't like posting it, and I don't like seeing it. I understand why people make it - I understand why I do - but there's a very harsh rawness to it that feels inappropriate as a viewer. It's voyeuristic; it's a look into something incredibly deeply personal hurt and an equally deep and genuine desire to have that hurt seen, validified, comforted.

I do not think vent art is bad to create or share, to be clear. The fact it makes me uncomfortable does not illegitimize it. Could honestly strengthen its reason for existing, to be quite honest.

The line blurs with disability, though, and this is where we come back to the original tangent, because to talk about disability that cannot be cured will innately be seen as venting. It's basically inevitable, in my experience. You're supposed to want to get better. You're supposed to hate existing like this. So if you mention it, to people who haven't either been in the same boat or who haven't taken the time to work through their own baggage about it, it's innately a vent. It's innately a hurt that you're burdening them with, a hurt that you want recognized and helped. My family members have been particularly bad about this viewpoint, but so have friends and medical professionals. So have strangers. I find it akin to arguments against gay public displays of affection; two men holding hands is sexual, using a mobility aid is pitiable. You get me? There's that innate sense that you, as the person watching a disabled person be disabled, should be feeling something about it, and if it's not inspiration porn, obviously you're meant to be sad. If it wasn't clear, this is the description of a train of thought that I believe is entirely incorrect.

Anyways. So disability art ends up grouped as vent art if you talk about it sucking at all, even if the suck is about the barriers presented by society and not the disability itself. I can, of course, only speak for my own experience, which is what this post is about, so my situation is very much barriers-focused.

People really, really aren't good at dealing with the discomfort part, what I detailed as the emotions I feel around vent art. People don't know what to do when you don't want help, or their help doesn't help (for whatever reason), or basically in any situation where you can't actually fix things, which is a lot of Being Disabled. It's hard to sit with that discomfort, especially when it's about a person's vulnerability. People want to help others, generally, in my experience, and it's difficult to not be able to when it's someone you care about.

Which all ties back into the voyeurism; to be visibly disabled is to be a spectacle. This has also been pretty inevitable, in my experience. Being in a wheelchair draws attention. Using a cane draws attention. Wearing an eye patch draws attention. So on and so forth. Sometimes this is great - people will offer their chairs to me sometimes if I'm using my cane, for example, which I appreciate - and sometimes it is less great.

This ties in, for me, with the part people REALLY don't like talking about, which is sex and sexuality. How do you date when you can't go out to many places? How do you get to know someone when you live with others and can't invite them over? How do you look sexy when you feel and kind of look like a corpse? These are all questions I'd love to know the answers to, because I'm shit out of luck on figuring it out so far, and that's not even touching on the actual sex, because I don't want to get this post filtered if I can help it. There's a balance, right, of being visible on purpose by flirting, dressing up, going out, making an impact, that is both directly overlapping with and directly opposed to the inevitable visibility of visible disability. They juxtapose magnificently, in a kind of sun and moon during an eclipse sort of way, you get me? You have to lean into it. You have to make yourself comfortable in that visibility because it's inevitable, and you are going to inevitably be viewed as a spectacle because you've leaned into it, and you're never going to be viewed as sexual because nobody will ever distinguish that there are two kinds of visibility being done, here.

And THAT I think is where my art is at right now, trying to convey that overlap. I do not think I have been subtle about it - it's loud colors, sharp lines, layers of vandalism over the original draft, a kind of intentional obscuration that implies many others were drawn to leave their mark there. You know? But because of What It Is, I do think it causes discomfort in the overlap. It's supposed to. It's inevitable that it would. I think being disabled is overtly sexual in the way being gay is overtly sexual in the way being trans is overtly sexual, in that none of them are but none of them aren't, either, in the right contexts or the wrong ones. People are going to see you exist and come to their own conclusions about how wrong you must feel in existing, and they will be made uncomfortable by that perception, and they will want to fix you. You have to accept that or you have to be uncomfortable right back. There's not really a third option that keeps you alive. This is all connected to the art, because the art is also inherently sexual, for approximately the same reasons.

So the tldr is "op is it weird if I think this is hot" is both the intended response and yes, it is weird, and you have to sit with the fact that both of those are true and you have to be normal about it for the rest of your life forever, and also you should take that knowledge and get weirder about it. It's a complex system. I also may have described none of it. Good luck.

[cak3o]

I'm curious if you've anything planned with the 2nds, I know you include them in a lot of your art but we haven't heard much of them HC wise! Simply wondering if you've got anything planned?

Hi! Thanks for the ask :^3

Hm atm I'm actually kinda running blank with them. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm struggling to really come up with much for them. Maybe it's just cuz I've seen so much of them, it feels like everything's been done haha. But! That's kinda what makes it fun :^3 for now, I'll just run over the little amount I do have!

HCs as a whole:

They're all super dedicated to Wily. Althought the to the softer nature of my AU, it's a bit lighthearted.

If I had to describe them, I'd say they feel more like...hm. A frat house. Just a large conglomeration of dudes lol. But, the AU works on getting them to be closer.

They have a pretty clear anti-Light bot sentiment, but yknow...that'll change hehh

HC individually

Quick is not a leader here and instead a sort of loose canon. He's definitely the strongest fighter, but he's gonna do things his own way. He initially starts off pretty cold. But after spending a lot of time with a certain light bot, a much more curious and playful Quick begins to emerge. It's really fun drawing a Quickman with so much range.

Metal doesn't talk much. He 100% can but decides often times not to. He's actually the second smallest in the 2nd group in my AU. I really need to finish that height chart lol. After the events of the 2nd game, he started getting....pursued by Cutman. He doesn't really understand what's happening, but he genuinely thinks Cut is funny. He just doesn't realize he should be laughing out loud.

Wood, despite his soft personality, does actually enjoy a good fight just like the rest of them. He and Metal are oddly close, mostly due to Wood being one of two bots of the 2nd group that isn't terrified of Metal. Wood would like to get to know his fellow nature bots a bit better, but worries about scaring them off due to his Wily bot affiliation. He finds Cut kind of annoying.

Crash and Heat I haven't worked on as much. I want to write them well so I've been taking my time on how I want to portray them. Bubble is in the same boat. All I know for sure is that they all get into a little bit of trouble on their own time.

Flash works alongside Wily a lot. I really really like the idea that Flash is like. Super smart and capable in regards to repairs and general robotics. He's kept busy a lot due to his usefulness. Wily has assigned him to keep an eye on Quick at all times. This has resulted in Flash knowing way too much about Quick, and Quick thinking that they're a lot closer than they actually are. Flash does actually care a lot about the others, but often times deflects with crude or mean jokes.

Airman is the leader in this group. Responsible, cool and constantly stressed by the rambunctious nature of the 2nds. He's the only other person not terrified of Metal. He, Needle and Bomb share a kinship of being the sarcastic and sensible ones of their groups. I kinda want him and Flash to be close. Need to work on that though.

Phew....so much for little amount lmao....well, I hope that answers your ask :^)

[yukidragon]

For those of you in the Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack fandom who are concerned by the recent rumblings going on, I gently request that you try to remain calm and not jump to conclusions.

This is a situation that is unpleasant and has multiple sides to it, but we do not need to go up in arms. We're an overall kind and compassionate community. I know that it's natural to want to defend someone who is having a hard time, but there is no enemy here to fight. No one wants a war in this fandom or for anyone to be attacked.

Please remember that, at the end of the day, there are real people on the other side of the screen, with feelings that can be hurt and boundaries that can be crossed. Let's do our best to be kind and respectful.

I'll try to summarize what I know of the situation to the best of my ability. Please forgive the gaps, as there are a number of things that I still don't know about. This will be placed behind the cut, as the topics of non-consent in fiction and personal boundaries will be discussed.

Also, I must emphasize to those unaware - I am not officially affiliated with SnaccPop Studios. I am just a big supporter of their work and acquainted with many people involved with the team and the community. Do not take my words as an official statement from anyone on the development team. I am just a fan hoping to clear up the confusion that has made many in the fandom express concern about this incident.

An artist in the Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack fandom has recently shut down their tumblr page and deleted their twitter presence. Before they left, they sent heartfelt private messages to members of the fandom as an unspoken sort of farewell. This, understandably, has disheartened a number of people to see this artist go, myself included.

The artist in question had stated in the past that they were harassed for the content that they created. Their art often involved darker themes, particularly non-consent.

This fact, coupled with their abrupt departure, has led many to the impression that this artist received further harassment to the point that they decided to close down their social medias and leave the fandom entirely.

This possibility in turn led to concern and upset, which were expressed in some posts on twitter. Without full context or information, these posts in turn have apparently led others in the fandom to feel alarmed that something bad was actively happening to members of the community.

I do not know the reason why this artist left so abruptly. They did not give a reason publicly. We do not know if harassment was the cause or some other reason entirely. Their parting messages were ones of kindness and gratitude to individuals in the fandom. I have interacted with this artist in the past, and they showed themselves to be a very friendly and kind individual in all of our interactions.

I do not know the details about the harassment that the artist faced. I have not seen instances of it for myself. That isn't to say that it didn't exist. Accusations like this should not be taken lightly, and the situation must be treated with care to avoid victim blaming. It is vital to have all the facts before coming to any conclusions.

I do know that the artist was criticized for not properly tagging content warnings on their artwork at times. This was something they strived to correct when it was pointed out to them.

Content warnings are not something to take lightly. They are a vital tool to help people to make an informed choice about the content they could potentially access, so that they might avoid subject matter that they find distasteful or distressing.

When tags are absent or are misused, it is important to point this out to the poster in a calm and respectful manner. It's then important for the poster to be gracious and edit their post to add the proper warnings and safeguards so that people can make an informed decision about whether or not they wish to engage with that sort of content.

Asking something be tagged properly and put behind some sort of warning isn't a form of criticism or harassment. This is a matter of informed consent, which is vital, especially in NSFW spaces. This is a matter of respect and kindness.

We do not know if this is the harassment that the artist said they were experiencing. Let's be kind and not make assumptions that this criticism and the harassment are one and the same. Until the artist makes a statement on the subject for themselves, or screenshots surface on the subject, we simply don't know what they had to deal with. It is also not our place to pry if the artist does not wish to go into detail about it.

Aside from the content warning issue is the subject matter itself. There were many in the fandom made uncomfortable seeing the character of Sunny Day Jack in particular depicted as someone who violates consent.

Consent is a big part of the game. The original creator of Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack has repeatedly gone out of their way to state that non-consent is not intended to be part of this game's story. This is stated plainly in the official content warnings for the game as well.

Jack was designed to be incapable of doing anything to the player without their consent. As stated on the official tumblr, Jack will never hurt the player, and he genuinely cares about the player.

The game's script is being modified to make this point clearer, as one route in the demo led to many misinterpreting that the main character wasn't consenting to have sex with Jack. There is even going to be a softcore mode and other accessibility features for the comfort of the players. SnaccPop Studios has also hired sensitivity consultants to try and avoid any misunderstandings in the future.

There are many of us in the fandom who are not comfortable with non-consent, myself included. There are also those who are comfortable with it depicted in fiction who are not comfortable with Sunny Day Jack specifically being involved with non-consenting sexual content. Then there are those who don't mind or even enjoy non-consent in fiction in general.

These are all valid feelings. No one is wrong for the way they feel on the topic. We're all adults in this community, capable of choosing to consent to engage in whatever topic that we enjoy. Consensual non-consent, including in the form of art and literature, is like any other kink, even it isn't for everyone.

We should be allowed to opt out of experiences we don't wish to engage with. This is why giving warnings is so important, so we can decide as an individual if we are comfortable engaging in this form of consensual non-consent.

There is no official statement from SnaccPop Studios about the creation of fan work that depicts darker subject matter than what is contained in the game. I'm unaware of any statement that requests fans not create anything involving non-consent in their fan works. As such, I strongly urge people in the fandom not to jump to any assumptions on that topic. Let's let the team speak for themselves on how they feel about fans creating this sort of content.

We don't have a statement from the artist why they chose to deactivate their social media pages and remove their content. We should not make assumptions on the cause or go on the offense against a potential threat that might not even exist. If the artist wants to make their reasons publicly known, I'm sure they will say so if and when they choose to do so. Until then, we should respect their privacy and simply wish them well.

As for the harassment the artist faced before this, we should avoid making assumptions there as well. Without knowing the extent of it or who was involved, it's not something we should be meddling with. Doing so might cause more unintentional harm than good.

To summarize:

It is important to tag your art/writing/etc. appropriately when there is content that might be cause the viewer distress.

It is important to not make assumptions about someone's motivations or opinions on a topic.

It's important not to harass real people over fictional characters.

A person's boundaries and consent are important and should be respected.

We need to try to remain calm when we see something alarming pop up on our feeds and not rush to immediate emotional reactions.

It's important to take the time to get the facts and properly digest them before coming to your own conclusions about what to do with that information.

I hope this post helps clears up some of the confusion floating around. I'm sorry that I'm unable to give the full story of what is going on, but, ultimately, it is not my story to tell. I can only tell you what I have observed and request that we all try to treat each other with kindness and respect.

Thank you for listening to me ramble. Be good to each other and take care of yourselves. Your feelings matter.

[howlsnteeth]

hi, just wanted you to know that if you ever wanted to like. interest-dump about cotl and your thoughts about the lore/storyline and stuff as ive seen you show in your art, id read PARAGRAPHS. im so curious and love to hear about people's interest in game/story/media lore and the interpersonal relationships within the universe!!! - from an autistic system who has loved your art since like. forever. (u can call us moss)

okay hi moss :3

i'm kind of due for an infodump on my cotl headcanons, so! i'll try be somewhat concise because this is going to be a long post anyway rip. i drew some pictures :D

(i can't really think of any warnings to give outside of usual cotl themes/killed race/dying/blood/etc but let me know)

obviously watching the destruction of your entire race is traumatic as fuck, also because it likely took a few weeks or months to achieve. so they died pretty underweight/weak bodied/pretty shut down. the bishops are gone by the time lamb is revived by toww, and their body hadn't quite made it to a 'body pit' (or food pit). still, they get Their Bell from another of their race on the way out. probably weren't thinking about it too hard and just desperately wanted to grab something while their eyes burned in their sockets and this red crown fit like molded clay in their hand. my lamb has a little notch out of their left ear which was caused while escaping, which ends up never healing because of a few reasons but mostly because i like it.

over the course of the game/story they start to slowly physically change. after revival it takes scars a Long time to fade, considering lamb is technically a walking corpse, and also because of their affiliation with Death (narinder, who has similar i'll mention later). they get dark marked lines under their eyes from that classic 'bleeding eyes' action during rituals/etc. their ears but especially horns get longer and sharper. their way of coping is similar to most lambs, jokes and pulled punches.

by the end of the 'main game/toww fight,' they've already made their choice, and start flexing their control/communication with the red crown itself. it gets harder for toww to view through it, and lamb gets somewhat intoxicated with the idea of an ultimate revenge, having killed all the other bishops. they've done everything they can to stop their cult members noticing signs of weakness, but as things get more stressful this kind of rubberbands around to them seeming extremely unstable. by the time they go to fight toww they're muttering nonstop, barely aware, and also they let their wool get longer and basically end up with a mullet. <3 because it's funny to me

they obviously beat toww and for them it's like a smashing of clarity, like a gripped handle let go, standing up from the river of blood. it's freeing but also the most pain they've ever been in. and instead of killing toww this pit in their stomach spares him. lamb went from a corpse to a god and now, in some sick way, they want to watch a god turn into a living corpse, just like them. because with every other sheep dead, narinder is the only one with a connection to that genocide, the cause of the other bishops doing it.

narinder hates their fucking guts. obvs. he thinks, or knows, that lamb is doing it on purpose. but narinder's body hasn't been normal for far, far too long. even before he was made death (as in artworks i've done with him), his body turned skeletal and rotted away. lacerations open all over his body, but especially down his front torso. when he's first brought to the cult, lamb gives him red robes, also because of this 'problem'. but narinder does every single thing he can against them. he gets white robes and lets them turn bloodied and disturbing to everyone around him.

even washing them stops working, and lamb does resign slightly to letting him sit in his dirty stupid robes. it's the pettiest shit. narinder also keeps his veil, and lamb can't bother with a reason to take it away. let that dumbass keep his yuck robes and veil. you can only stick him the stockade for a week before your other followers get too concerned.

over time, they do end up getting closer, but it comes from a place from both being touched and changed by Death, the red crown, and the choices of the other bishops. it takes a really long time and only after all the other bishops have been recruited (another whole thing). both of them catch themselves enjoying little things, and then having moments of all the pain bleeding through. an example is over time narinder does end up wearing darker robes, but it's fairly gradual. in this piece, it's lamb getting too deep in the countless lives that were taken from their race, triggered by blood (a whole little story thing), and narinder does make the (semi subconscious) choice to wear dark robes.

anyway you're probably looking at that giant shadow in the picture huh. it takes a long time but lamb Does end up truly becoming a bishop.

not 100% done with this design, but it has the basics. their main horns end up breaking off (thinking of a story behind that still). the main thing with them that i really like is they have multiple strings of bells on them. so everyone starts associating the sound of ringing bells as Death. so if you hear them, they're coming for you. that being said, they also have the ability to move completely silently, despite being covered in bells. which adds to the scaring-the-fuck-out-of-everyone factor.

there's a ton more i could get into with the other bishops, ratau, the duck siblings, the crowns themselves, more aym and baal, but i'm probably gonna do more artworks with them so i can talk more then :3 this is already too long lmao

thanks for the ask though!! it's nice knowing people are interested in my stuff :D (it's also worth mentioning that i am also a system and have alters of lamb, narinder, and aym and baal, who all contribute to this stuff)

[piowasthere]

i just got a notif from twitter that a new person followed me which is kinda weird since that acc is dead and i haven't posted there for a year at this point so i wanted to check it out

it was a nsfw sams acc that had my art as their banner now ok, it was Bm in a bunny-suit, sure, i admit i did that

but like- ppl what ppl why

i may get if u use art u found on maybe Pinterest as a banner or pfp or smth, bc that happens fairly often, pin doesn't credit properly, everyone has done it at some point, sure

but to then go out of your way to find that artist (bc i abandoned that acc before i even got into sams properly, so they didn't get it from there), follow them and then set up that art as ur banner? if u do smth like that, at least u'd avoid letting the real artist know, no?

i leave out the fact that it's uncredited, idek if i want a credit in that case

cuz it's nsfw. i don't have a problem w/ it personally, but i myself don't do nsfw art. and having shit like that connected honestly might cause problems. and some ppl might not want their work to be affiliated with it.

i've seen it happen before to ppl, and it can get not so fun anymore, so to say

i'm not gonna do anything about it and i'm not gonna call the acc out by name, but i think it's just a funny(?) thing? i've seen ppl use my art all around, and it's honesty surreal at times to just so randomly see it in places but i must say, i've never seen it in on an 18+ acc time to update my bingo card ig lmao

[deathwords334]

(Disclaimer: This is not my work. I am in no way affiliated with the artist. I just want to show off artists that I think need more attention. I also don't have anyone I can talk to about the rabbit hole I've gone down that is Good Omens doujins. I will supply links to their social media and where you can find the publications (If available))

Phew there's so much to take pictures of... I even found out that there's Helluva Boss doujins! Maybe I should post some of those too... The issue, though, is the majority of them are R-18. Like... Obviously so. Would that even fly on Tumblr? Hm... Well, now for something completely different!

This is After The Happy Ending by Tsukiko

So Aziraphale and Crowley have officially decided to become a couple! Yay! They have their own home and are living together in domestic bliss! Yay! But... How exactly do you... couple? The two try to figure out how to express their love to each other in the most wholesome way possible.

You read that right, this is not an R-18 book! There is some heated kissing about half way through the book, but a good portion of it is them trying to figure out what kissing and touching is to them. If you've seen that meme of two people trying to kiss with the text 'expected a kiss with tongue'? Ya that's this book!

As I mentioned previously, Tsukiko's art style is very shojo-esque and you can kinda see the evolution of their style when you compare the two books. It's kinda interesting I've never seen this in the books I've collected. Still, it fits the story they're telling. On their Twitter they expressed concern that their style wouldn't fit a more 'serious' tone in comparison to Happily Ever After, but I think they succeeded! Besides, they haven't foregone the comedy. But it is definitely more focused on the two being very ace...

The book is the same size and style as their previous book, so the two look very nice side by side on the shelf. Tsukiko has a way with color too! I don't think I ever pointed that out, but especially here and their next book? It's so pastel and cute and it gives me diabetes!!!

Good news is that this book is still available on their Booth! (Link is above). You do not need any prior knowledge of Happily Ever After to read this. Sure it's a nice through line, but it doesn't make any reference to the previous book! Definitely look it up! They deserve more eyes on their work :3 Also, their most recent book Planet Picnic is up for sale! I'm waiting for my order to ship but from the previews, it's a comedic book of the two exploring space! Also, they are selling a keychain that is super cute and shiny!!

[enhashoutout]

Meet Me At The APT (Marcus Lopez Arguello x reader)

Inspired by APT by Rosé and Bruno Mars because the song has been stuck in my head and on repeat since it was released :)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Cussing, mentions of suggestive content, smoking, drugs, domestic violence between Maria and Chico, derogatory terms, fighting, weapons, mentions of death, typical Deadly Class violence (let me know if I missed anything to update this section)

___ used in place of Y/n

I always write my mc/reader with female pronouns and physical features because that is what is easiest for me but if you do not identify with anything that I write please feel free to change that up to fit you!

If you haven't seen Deadly Class before, the show is based off of a graphic novel set in the 80's. King's Dominion is a secret/private school that trains teenagers in Deadly Arts. These kids are basically trained to become a new generation of assassins. Some of these kids come from big crime backgrounds like Yakuza, Cartel, Dixie Mob, etc. Some of these kids just had bad pasts and find themselves at King's Dominion such as Billy who is forced to attend King's by a gang that his dad owes money, or Marcus who tried to expose the owner of the boy's home he used to live in but the plan backfired so now he's labeled as a psychotic child-mud3r3r but he isn't.

Legacy refers to the students at King's Dominion who are a part of a power and established group already such as being a kid who is from the Yakuza or Cartel. (Maria, Chico, Saya, Brandy)

Rat refers to students at King's Dominion who don't have powerful affiliates. (Petra, Billie, Marcus, Lex)

𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕞𝕖, 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪? 𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕞𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕀 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕠𝕨?

The one where reader has a crush on Marcus, the new student at King's Dominion and is being very open but also very secret about it.

It was another day at King's Dominion. Petra and ___ were putting their books into their lockers before class started. Billy rode his skateboard through the halls, a soda in his hand, stopping next to the two girls.

"I am so tired." (Billy)

"Why?" (Petra)

"I spent all night chasing a new student. It was an assignment from Lin." (Billy)

"Did you bring them in?"

"Nope. Saya did." (Billy)

"Go figures. Says is the top student at King's."

"You're not far behind her ___." (Petra)

"In grades not at all, you're best out of Rats and just second right behind Saya. Status on the other hand..." said Billy in a teasing way. ___ and Petra both smacked his arms.

"Owww." (Billy)

"Very nice Billy." (Petra)

"It was a compliment! You are the second in student ranking in terms of grades ___. That's why you're the only Rat that's part of AP Black Arts." (Billy)

"That's good enough for me. I don't think Rats make valedictorian anyways. So who is this new student you were chasing down?"

"Marcus Lopez Arguello. Psycho. Apparently he killed all the other boys he lived with in his old boy's home and then burned the place down. He'll be joining Rats. Hey you'll finally have a friend in AP Black Arts now! Marcus is enrolled into it also."

"Ohh okay," said Petra and ___ as they listened to Billy.

"He's that one right over there," said Billy as he pointed to a boy with curly hair standing by his locker and trying to open it. The trio watched Marcus open his locker and pull out a little plush with a knife stuck into it with a note reading "child murderer" taped to it, he angrily threw it back into the locker with his books. They watched Maria walk up to him, flirting with him.

"How much you guys want to bet that if Maria is here, Chico isn't far behind her?"

"Not betting you anything because I know you're right," said Petra.

Before ___ or Billy could respond, they heard the sound of someone being shoved up against the lockers. The 3 turned around and sure enough, Chico had Maria pinned up against the lockers, his hand around her throat and threatening her and Marcus. Marcus tried to intervene causing a scene with one of the school monks stepping in see what was happening.

"That's our cue to get to class," said Petra. The other two agreeing as they all began walking to their respective classes, unfortunately having to walk past Marcus, and the other Soto Vatos to get to class. As they walked by, Chico grabbed Billy's drink and poured it over Marcus.

"I was still drinking that!" exclaimed Billy.

"Don't care," said Chico as he grabbed Maria and left for class, the other Soto Vatos following behind them.

"I'll buy you another soda Billy," said ___ as she put her arm around him to get going. "Hey, hurry and clean up and change your shirt. There are usually spare white shirts in the closet right by the restrooms. Master Lin doesn't like it when kids are late to his class," ___ said to Marcus before her, Petra, and Billy went to class.

"Thanks," said Marcus.

ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ

Petra and Billy split off to go to their class while ___ entered AP Dark Arts, sitting in her seat. The seat next to her was often left empty because the Legacy kids preferred to sit together.

Marcus entered the classroom, noticing that only two chairs remained empty. He chose what he thought would be the better option, walking up to ___ and tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey, can I sit here?"

"Hey, you made it to class on time. Yeah, go ahead."

"Thank you," said Marcus as he slid into the seat next to her.

"Don't mention it."

"Awww the little rats are sitting together," said one of the Dixie Mob girls sitting next to Brandy.

"Leave us alone Dixie Mob," said ___.

"Or what rat?"

___ reached into her blazer jacket, pulling out her butterfly knife and throwing it at the Dixie Mob girl, the knife landing in the wall and a chunk of her hair falling to the floor. The Dixie Mob girl let out a loud gasp, looking at ___ in disbelief.

"This time it was your extension. Next time it'll be all of your real hair Dixie Mob."

Master Lin walked into the room before the conversation could continue, pulling ___'s butterfly knife out of the wall and walking up to her desk. "Miss ___, it is too early to be throwing your knife around. I don't want to see it again you hear me?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Let's start our lesson," said Master Lin as he walked back up to the front of the classroom. "World war I was started by a teenager with a pistol, a Serbian peasant who chose to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Set in motion the chain reaction culminating in two world wars and today's Cold war. Character is revealed through choice. Consider for a moment-"

Brandy slid a note onto Marcus's desk, Master Lin's cane coming down on the note.

"Sorry, I was just-" began Marcus. Master Lin's cane flew into Brandy's face, making her nose bleed. "Jesus!" said Marcus.

Everyone in the room let out laughs at Marcus's reaction.

"Who would be the recipient of your rage; A thief, a child molester, a world leader? This one decision betrays all secrets and unveils true motive. Ask yourself. On that dark ledge, poised to strike with clean opportunity. Who would you kill?" The school bell rang, dismissing the students to their next class. "Your homework tonight, half your semester grade, will tell me who you really are. Use your training. Search the city for a worthy target. Someone you think deserves to die, and kill them. Discard the body, hide all evidence. Bring me proof," said Master Lin as students began filing out of the room.

"No problem for a killer like you," said one of the boys sitting behind the two.

"Shut up and get your next class," said ___ with a sneer.

"Um, is everyone like that?" (Marcus)

"Yeah. People here tend to not be friendly, don't think too much of it. Everyone who is a Legacy has a stick up their ass because of family relations and a good amount of the Rats drown in self-pity and depression, it's nothing personal."

"You're nice though."

"That's because I think the hierarchy shit is dumb. We're all getting trained to be the next generation of shitty people who disrupt regular civilians' lives. Some of us are gonna be rivals but a good amount of us are gonna be allies once we graduate, might as well start good relationships early right? And technically I don't care what anyone actually does unless we're friends and I stay out of everyone's business unless I have to step in. What class do you have next?"

"Martial Arts with Miss De Luca."

"Same, let's go together. Hurry she doesn't like tardy students either and we have to change," said ___ as they walked to the Martial Arts gym room.

"You said that you only step into things when you have to right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"So why didn't you step in to help Maria this morning?"

"I don't step in for Maria anymore. I did when we were younger, got a gnarly scar on my arm, my torso, and a few on my back from Chico for challenging him though. Maria knows that Chico is a possessive asshole and continues to flirt and sleep with other guys in school. She knows he'll actually harm people because Chico could not care less who lives or dies and she does it anyways so that's on her. I'm not stepping in for someone who continuously makes the same dumb mistakes and gets caught making the same one over and over again. We also aren't friends so... Go get changed and get to the gym. Don't challenge Miss De Luca, she likes to make a student's humiliation to teach the others."

Before Marcus could answer, ___ was off to change.

The class sat kneeling on their knees as they listened to Miss De Luca. "The world respects those who can protect themselves. Every opponent has a weakness. Pick a partner. Find theirs."

Marcus got up, ready to head over to ___ but was stopped by Maria so he paired up with her. ___ paired up with Petra. The two fought and ___ was able to pin Petra down to the mat.

"What's my weakness ___?"

"The fact that you don't actually put up a fight in this class so I could put in no effort and still pin you down. What's mine?"

"The fact that you are scared to put hands on people who are your friends. I know you're stronger than that but you didn't use all your strength because your opponent is me. You should try fighting Viktor next time, I think your results will be better."

"Oh shut up Petra." The two girls laughed when Petra tapped ___'s leg and nodded behind her. ___ helped Petra up and looked behind her to see Marcus and Maria looking at her. Maria said something to Marcus before they went back to fighting.

ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ

Lunch time came around eventually. Petra and ___ sat on the rooftop together waiting for Lex or Billy to eventually show up, the two were laughing at Viktor's misfortune in Poison class.

"Yeah. Billy snuck some into his drink and then his insides were gone to shit." (Petra)

"I wish I had Poisons with you guys to see that happen what the heck."

"What you ladies up to?" said Lex as he entered through the door.

"Nothing," both girls answered him. Lex and Petra engaged in a conversation about explosives while ___ looked out at the San Francisco skyline. Billy and Marcus came through the door, Billy explaining your hang out spot to Marcus.

"Petra, Lex, ___, meet Marcus, the new Rat. Well, I think ___ already knows Marcus but still." (Billy)

"Yeah we had AP Black Arts together and we all had Martial Arts together remember?"

The four of you continued to talk when Marcus made it known that the person he wanted to kill most was the President. The other 3 laughed, deeming the task to be undo-able. Marcus stood next to you by the railing.

"I don't think it's dumb or un-doable."

"What?" (Marcus)

"The person you want to kill. I don't think it's un-doable. I think if you strategize correctly, you could assassinate anyone. I don't know your full story but I'm sure whatever you did at the boy's home was carefully thought out and executed, that's why Lin was looking to recruit you in the first place."

"Thanks... We didn't get to finish our conversation earlier." (Marcus)

"I told you to change for Miss De Luca's class, I don't think that conversation warrants a continuation."

"No. You said that you don't step in for Maria anymore." (Marcus)

"Yeah... what about it?"

"Why not?" (Marcus)

"I remember telling you that Chico fucked me up for trying to step in earlier. Did you want to see the scars to believe me?" ___ asked as she began untucking her white button up shirt.

"NO! No. I'm good. I believe you. I just don't get why people don't help other people in need you know?"

"Because you're at King's Dominion Marcus. These kids are all trained killers and manipulators. No one here is wired to help other people, only themselves."

"But you are. You've been helping me all day." (Marcus)

"I've been helping you today because it's your first day and I remember my first day at King's being shitty as a Rat. It's gonna take me about 48 more hours to determine whether or not I want to keep helping you or completely ditch you and throw you to the wolves."

"Oh...okay. I'm gonna go talk to Billy," said Marcus as he walked away. Petra walked back to ___, getting back up on the rooftop railing to sit with her for the rest of the duration of lunch. ___ continued to take glances at Marcus, the glances not going unnoticed by Petra.

"I know that look. You're plotting. What are you plotting? And who are you plotting against?" (Petra)

"I'm plotting... for myself. I'm gonna get Marcus to come to the apt."

"The apt?! Your apartment?! Why?!" Petra whisper-yelled.

"Because I want him, and the mob that is forcing me to come to King's Dominion in the first place bought me an apartment nearby for a reason, I might as well make more use of it."

"Doesn't it usually take you like 72 hours to decide if you like someone enough to even be friends with them? So how did you determine that you want to get laid by him within one school day?" (Petra)

"One, because he seems to be different from other people here. Two, I have a feeling Maria is after him too... and I want to get to him first."

"You're gonna challenge Maria?!" Petra whisper-yelled at ___.

"Yeah. Why not? It's about time someone challenge the Legacies don't you think?" ___ asked with a mischievous grin and glint in her eyes.

Petra thought about the idea for a few moments in silence before she sighed and looked at ___, "Okay. I'm in."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. I still stand by the point that we as Rats should stay out of the Legacy students' ways for safety, but I want to see someone finally challenge Maria when it comes to boys so I'm down. What should I do to help?"

"Help me put little notes into Marcus's locker, bag, and then eventually get him to come to the apartment?"

"I got you."

The two girls high-fived and giggled to themselves at the plan that was about to unfold.

ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ

Throughout the next two weeks, Marcus began receiving little pink notes in his book bag, his locker, and the notes would even get slipped under his dorm room door once in a while. He was determined to find out who was leaving him little love letters, but was always a step too late to catch whoever was leaving them.

The Rats were sitting on the rooftop during lunch again. Petra and ___ sitting on the rooftop's railing and Marcus, Billie, and Lex sitting in their own spot, huddling over Marcus's love notes trying to figure out who sent them. The kicker here is that Billy knows exactly who these are from. No one else likes pink as much as ___ does within the other Rats, and he recognized her handwriting because he has borrowed notes from her multiple times. Billy had confronted the girls after the first time Marcus showed him one of the notes.

A week ago

Billy was sitting in his dorm doing homework when Marcus burst into his room. "Okay jeez Marcus, don't even knock or anything. I could've been in my underwear!"

"Billy I need help." (Marcus)

"With what?" (Billy)

"These!" said Marcus as he pulled a handful of pink papers out of his book bag to show the other boy. "Someone keeps leaving me love letters and it's driving me insane trying to figure out who is leaving them in my bag and my locker." (Marcus)

Billy took one out of Marcus's hand and looked at it, reading the words neatly written in cursive. "'I'm tryna kiss your lips for real', with little red hearts around it. Awww that's sweet. Someone has a little crush on you Marcus."

"BUT WHO?!" (Marcus)

Billy looked at the boy in disbelief, not knowing how it wasn't obvious who wrote the note. "Are you serious?"

"Do you think I would be here asking you for help if I knew who it was?! Do you know who it is?!" (Marcus)

"No." Billy was lying. He could tell from the handwriting that it was definitely ___ but figured she had a reason behind the notes rather than telling Marcus to his face, so Billy kept quiet. "Do you have any idea who it is?"

"I have an idea of who it isn't from if that counts for anything." (Marcus)

"Let's hear it." (Billy)

"It's not Brandy or anyone from Dixie Mob. It's definitely not Saya. I feel like the pink could mean it's from one of the other Kuroki girls. Those girls like cute pink things right?" (Marcus)

Billy stared at Marcus in disbelief. Marcus was already half way there with the "cute pink things" and was still dumb enough to get the answer wrong. "Absolutely not Marcus. Kuroki doesn't fuck around with Rats."

"Saya talks to me." (Marcus)

"Because you're her pledge Marcus. If she could avoid you all together I'm sure she would. Try again." (Billy)

"Okay so it's not Dixie Mob or any of the Kuroki girls. Is it Maria?" (Marcus)

"I did not think there would ever be a day where someone at King's Dominion out-stupids me and yet here we are." (Billy)

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME STUPID?!" (Marcus)

"Because it's obviously not Maria! For one, Maria's color is RED okay? Not pink. And she's been all over you since you got here with no problem even with Chico trying to kill you both so why would she be leaving anonymous notes?! Even if she was the one leaving the notes, she wouldn't have gone this long without exposing herself to you so that you guys could have sex in her dorm room. Think harder."

"You're no help, I'll go ask Willie," said Marcus as he left Billy's dorm room for Willie's.

Billy waiting for Marcus to be far enough to not hear him, and left his dorm room to visit Petra and ___'s dorm. He knocked on the door, being met by ___. "Hi Billy! Whatcha doing here?"

"I got questions for you," he said as he invited himself in and sat on ___'s bed because if he sat on Petra's bed he would get smacked. ___ closed the door and sat next to him while Petra sat on her bed and looked at her other 2 friends.

"So... why are you leaving Marcus little love notes?" (Billy)

Petra and ___'s eyes widened, both attacking Billy to cover his mouth and shushing him. "You can't just say that shit out loud!" Petra whisper-yelled.

"How do you know it's me?!" ___ whisper-yelled at Billy.

Billy lightly smacked their hands on top of his mouth for them to let go. Once the two girls got up off of him and everyone settle back onto ___'s bed he looked at the two in disbelief. "Hello? The pink paper? The little red hearts? The handwriting? No one writes like that except you."

"How would you know that?"

"No one likes pink the way you do and because I borrow notes from you all the time. I think at this rate, I would know your handwriting." (Billy)

"Okay so how come Marcus doesn't know then? He borrows notes from ___." (Petra)

"Because he's dumb," Billy and ___ said at the same time before laughing.

"He is! He thought it was a Kuroki girl or Maria and I realized that he did in fact out-stupid me for not knowing it was you." (Billy)

"You can't tell him yet Billy. Don't tell him at all actually."

"Why?" (Billy)

"Because our plan isn't finished yet. We're gonna get him to ___'s APT." (Petra)

Billy stared at the two girls, jaw dropped to the floor. "The APT?! Your apartment?!" Billy whisper-yelled back at the two.

"Mm-hmm."

"Why?" (Billy)

"Cause I want him."

"Are we forgetting that Maria also wants him? And that we are Rats who probably shouldn't test a Legacy?" asked Billy.

"That's what I said when ___ first told me. But she's determined so I said I would help." (Petra)

"I just think that if I want something then I should have it. Screw Maria, she can have all the other guys who are begging to get into her bed, I want Marcus," said ___ with a nonchalant shrug.

"I'm in. What do I do to help?" said Billy after some contemplating.

"Steer him away from the correct answer until I'm ready to reveal that it's me?"

"Will do. But why exactly are we dragging out the process?" (Billy)

"That way Marcus gets antsy about who is behind the letters and agrees to meet at the APT no questions asked." (Petra)

"It's a full proof plan don't you think?"

"Yes because he's actually going insane trying to figure it out." (Billy)

"That's good."

Back to the present

Petra looked at the group of boys standing over Marcus's pile of pink love letters, trying not to laugh because Lex has no clue, Marcus is clearly stressed trying to figure it out, and Billy is being of no help to the boys in favor of helping the girls.

"How long do you think it'll take if I just kept this going until Marcus figures it out?" whispered ___ to Petra.

"Too damn long that's for sure. If you want him first we gotta stick to the original plan." (Petra)

"I guess you're right... tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?!" (Petra)

"Ssssssshhhhh!" said ___ as she looked over at the boys to see that they weren't paying attention to the two girls and the noise they were making. "Yes, tomorrow. It's a Friday night tomorrow so we won't have classes the next day and Lin won't look for us because it's the weekend. Plus, Marcus has been hanging out with Maria more often and I want him first."

"What makes you think they haven't already-" said Petra as she made an explicit gesture with her hands.

"Because Chico has been on Maria's ass more often. The only times he's not watching her like a guard dog I when she has classes without him in it."

"Oh okay. When should I deliver the last note?" (Petra)

"Slip it into his backpack during Poisons tomorrow. I'll tell Billy the plan later on the way back to the dorms."

"Okay, I will do that." (Petra)

ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ

Tomorrow during Poisons, Petra slipped the last little pink note into Marcus's book bag on her way to her seat. Class went on as usual, dealing with everyone else who was insufferable.

Class thankfully did come to an end. Marcus opened his bag to see another pink note, grabbing it and putting it into his pocket and then putting his books back to head to lunch.

Marcus stood on the rooftop waiting for the others, pulling out the note to read. He noticed the note was larger in size compared to the others. It read, "Sleep tomorrow but tonight go crazy, all you gotta do is meet me at the APT" with an address and directions how to get there underneath.

"OH SHIT!" yelled Marcus after reading the note.

"BLOODY HELL WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!" Yelled Lex as he walked through the door, the others following behind him. Billy and Lex joining Marcus to see what was going on, and Petra and ___ going to their usual spot on the railing.

"She wants to meet me tonight." (Marcus)

"Who?" (Lex)

"Mystery love letter girl." (Marcus)

"I thought they were love notes, not really love letters, you know what I mean?" said Billy just to irritate Marcus and Lex a little since he already knew what was happening.

"Who cares what they are?! Just go meet her tonight! Tell us who it is after and if she's hot." (Lex)

The three boys celebrated Marcus somewhat figuring out who this girl is and getting to meet her.

"What did you put on that note?" said Petra as she laughed at the boys' reactions.

"'Sleep tomorrow but tonight go crazy', plus my address and directions."

"Are you guys gonna actually..." (Petra)

"Yes. Only if he wants to though, I'm not that mean."

Petra looked at ___, jokingly judging her.

"Hey, hey, hey. You don't get to judge me, you fucked Viktor at the last party."

"Because I was curious!" (Petra)

"So am I!"

"Tell me how it goes afterwards." (Petra)

"If you want my opinion I think it'll go better than you and Viktor."

"Oh shut up."

The two girls laughed at their conversation, pivoting it to a different topic as to not get caught by the boys.

ᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚᰔᩚ

Marcus did in fact arrive at the APT to find ___ behind the door. And ___ did in fact get to Marcus before Maria did... if you know what I mean.

You made it to the end! This is just a small story I worked on during my lunch break today, nothing too serious or well thought out but I hope you liked it anyways. This piece isn't proof-read so there might be typos and grammar errors etc.

I don't own any of the characters from Deadly Class and take no credit for them. All credits go out to the correct people.

© This work is copyrighted by enhashoutout. I only post my work on this Tumblr account. I do not allow people to repost or translate my work without my permission. If you do see anyone doing so, please let me know. Writers work hard on their stories, please don't be a crappy human and take our work. ♡

[speedofsoundsketches]

When it comes to designing fan characters, do you like to stay within the confines of what people consider to be “acceptable” for certain aspects, like powers/abilities, specie choice, overall design, incorporating certain ties and affiliates to official characters, etc? I guess the “unspoken rules” when it comes to making a “proper” oc that fits the overall spirit and lore, rather than an “oc in sonic style” that “doesn’t fit”. Do you think that taking a leap of faith to originality is bad?

This is a thoughtful question Anon, but I find it concerning that there's an insinuation how wanting to be held to any kind of standard is "bad" for originality. In my experience, this is not always the case.

Having self-imposed restrictions can seem unnecessary if your goal for creating is to not think hard about expectations and instead, purely for self-expression. There are no hard rules for how to make fanart. If you want to add a ton of accessories on fan characters, use every color under the rainbow or construct one in a way that breaks the Sonic standard, it's your choice! What's gained from making characters for the joy of it and without the weight of "perceived expectations" looming over you is a reward in of itself.

With that aside, what really matters is what your ultimate goal is with your fan characters. Because when people ask for my insights on designing one, what I believe most are REALLY searching for is a way to get an audience to CARE.

This is a much deeper conversation beyond whether or not your character is "original" and "breaking the rules". Now you're entering uncharted territory where it's no longer about what only YOU want out of your creations. You HAVE to now consider how OTHERS will perceive them and make intentional design choices that gets the audience and reactions you WANT.

Jolt and Strike's Crew were created in the frame of mind that they would be used for a full story line. The ultimate goal is to create an engaging comic that both appeals to my own interest in this series while still drawing in an audience. And of course, this causes me to have to consider what makes a character bring an audience in and KEEP them. It ultimately defines what kind of character it will be!

Having a standard to measure your creations against isn't a hamper on originality. In fact, by HAVING restrictions, you're challenged to think OUTSIDE of the box and find an elegant solution that can be novel but still fit. Not all good ideas are born from having NO obstacles in our way; rarely does it work like that.

When starting Shadow and Jolt, I had zero clue on how to actually make a likeable character. I knew theories, I had read about it and made fan art of established characters that people already liked.

BUT I had never put it into practice from scratch. I had to learn as I went and made a ton of mistakes until the right solution became apparent!

This is a long answer but basically Anon, what is your intention? Do you just want to create for the sake of it,

or are you creating to be seen and have others engage with your work like that of an Author with an audience of Readers? Do you want to BUILD an audience that likes your fan-characters, wants to learn more about them and is EXCITED to see more of them?

That's the real question to reflect on. And it may require asking yourself if you even know what it means to achieve such a goal.

Because believe me, it's not easy. It took YEARS to build what I have now. But, it's also extremely rewarding and for me, worth all those extra late nights spent working diligently to make it happen.

I hope this helps anon. I get that this may not seem like a very fun answer. It's not always fun to create for an audience. Sometimes it's very hard! But if you love it enough and you are open to knowing what you don't know, you can find joy in a healthy challenge. This project is still just as fun for me to do as it was 6 years ago when it began. And I wouldn't change it one bit. :)