#i do not have the spoons

[tervaneula]

(This is an edit of the pic I drew for chapter 15)

Maybe in another universe? 😭 I wish NQK was this, but it's not, and I have no idea why I had to hurt myself (and Leonardo) like this. Oh my gohdfsjdvdhdhfjgj. Screams falls down on knees cries throws up etc

[nelkenbabe]

if i wrote 3k a day i could potentially finish writing Ivy & Twine before veilguard comes out

I can’t, for the record

👀

[gatoburr0]

I HATE how this turned out WITH A PASSION.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[chaoticsonder-mw]

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Do you know what's really wild? We never actually learned how Dark Dan was created.

I mean, we have Vlads side of the story of course but trusting the word of a lying liar who LIES isn't exactly the best idea even before you realize the story makes no sense.

I mean, Danny's ghost has always been pure and good when it's been removed from his body in the past and the thought that he would willingly let Vlad go anywhere near him with expiramental ghost tech is laughable, but to claim it was Danny's idea?

I'm calling BS. What do you guys think happened? Cause I think Danny was constantly trying to run away from Vlad or "Misbehaving" and Vlad came up with some evil scheme that blew up in his face. Again. And then he lied about it. Again.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[arrowheadedbitch]

New idea: Shinsou is supposed to be babysitting Eri but he has to do something so he leaves Denki in charge for a little bit, he comes back expecting the house to be burnt down but instead he finds Eri begging Kaminari to let her re-dirty up her room so they can clean it together again

[yuwuta]

you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but he’s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shit’s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happened like he’s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel

[stealingyourbones]

Never will I stop with the steadfast notion that folks in the DPXDC fandom should interact with at least some form of canon DC media.

There are comics, tv shows, radio dramas both old and new, podcasts, movies, magazines, so much shit that intentionally avoiding the media is simply preventing yourself from spawning new ideas and gaining a new appreciation for a fandom that you’re already in.

The Superman Radio Show has episodes 11 minutes long. A lot of the TV shows don’t have episodes that surpass 30 minutes and most are nearly fully clipped on the official DC YouTube channel. The amount of fan made motion comics is astounding. The amount of fanmade animations is equally as incredible.

[sunshine-zenith]

Oh so Jayce is bisexual bisexual, got it

[2boldlyqueer]

Listen, I know we're all exhausted, but we gotta get better about adding image descriptions to disability related stuff. Everyone should be IDing everything anyways, but there's a particularly cruel irony in disability related stuff not being accessible to folks with low/no vision.

[munequitta]

　 　　 　𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋　 　ℬ𝖾𝗌𝗍　 　𝖠𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗇　 　𝖦𝗂𝗋𝗅.

[beau-rebloga-coisas]

The thing about being fat is that you could be climbing a mountain everyday but if you're still fat people will be like "hmmm have you tried starving yourself?"

[day-dream-fever]

hal coming to comfort bruce after a bad day

[enixamyram]

I truly do not get the "Angel sexually harassed Husk!!! He's awful and it's gross the writers never addressed it!!!" mindset some of the anti's have. Especially when the show very much did address it very clearly in a way that I, personally, believe was very well done:

"Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real, and not some bullshit version of yourself. Always pushin' my boundaries."

Husk openly calls Angel is a jerk for the way he treated him. He (and the writers) make it very clear that Angel's constant sexual advances bothered him. And this isn't a revelation moment either since it's obvious during every moment prior that Husk doesn't like the way Angel behaves with him, even if he puts up with it. He physically expresses his discomfort and dislike for it each time and you'd have to be blind to miss it.

People like myself may find a line of Angel's to be funny, but it's the same way we find other lines funny. (Like Val's: "Not off camera you're not!") As in, it was amusing the way the line was said. But that doesn't mean we're ignoring or missing the seriousness behind the issue in reality. (I mean, some people might be, but in general I think most of the audience is not like this.)

More importantly, all of this is literal Character Development. In all further episodes, Angel stops acting this way with Husk entirely. And only after he stops acting this way, is when Husk and him start to genuinely get on as friends.

I've seen some people complain that Angel never officially apologised for his actions. And yes, while we don't seen an on screen "I'm sorry for what I did to you", it's very clear that there has been something based off of the very next shot of them:

Even if he hasn't said those exact words, Loser Baby was an entire song about how they understand where each other is coming from, why they act how they do and how they can now change that by leaning on each other for support instead. Loser Baby is, in its own kind of subtle way, an apology between them. Just because we're not spoon fed scenes doesn't mean they didn't happen off screen.

Anyway. You don't have to like the ship. But can we stop trying to find problematic reasons why no one else should like them either and just grow up and say it's personally not your thing?