nymphofnovels

[nymphofnovels]

i can't be the only one who's just straight-up ... bored with women hating themselves. my mom keeps lamenting to me how upset she is about her gray hair. my friend stares at her laugh lines every day in agony. my sister loses sleep over the horrible unbearable thought of looking fat. and every time these women i love open up to me, i can't help but think ... then stop staring at yourself? stop drowning yourself, narcissus, and just fucking live your life instead of sitting in front of a mirror obeying cosmetic corporations' lies. just stop it. this is getting ridiculous. you're too smart to be falling for this bullshit. "oh no but these men who hate women told me that if i'm ugly i'm worthless!" girl if you actually believe that then good luck. but i am getting worse at being supportive of people whose nonsense worldviews keep them trapped in pain. stop looking at yourself start fucking living i am pleading you deserve to be happy and it is stupid that you disagree

[nymphofnovels]

*If you were put in a room with Gollum from Lord Of The Rings and told that if you have sex with him there is a 10% chance that this version of Gollum will be your perfect partner (all the traits, money, and emotional intelligence you have ever wanted in a partner) but that there’s a 90% chance that this is just normal canon Gollum and you have to live with that experience for the rest of your life.

For the entirety of the sex he will sound and behave like you would expect canon Gollum to sound and behave (which is, badly). He will reveal to you if he’s the 10% version only after the sex happens, think of it like a fairytale scenario where he’s testing your loyalty.

[nymphofnovels]

[nymphofnovels]

[nymphofnovels]

Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

[nymphofnovels]

First off, click here.

The wheel just assigned you one of the Worldwide Box Office Winners from the past 35 years. (No 2024 because we don't know that winner, yet.)

[nymphofnovels]

when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning

[nymphofnovels]

Wicked is a musical based on a book based on a musical based on a movie based on a book.

THE WORLD’S MOST SUCCESSFUL FANFICTION

[nymphofnovels]

People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.

[nymphofnovels]

i’m not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs

[nymphofnovels]

tom animal crossing nook made you work for like 3 minutes and you spit on him like this god damn

[nymphofnovels]

DOCTOR WHO SPECIAL The Star Beast

[nymphofnovels]

"u don't know my alphabet" is changing my brain chemistry as we speak i will start saying that every time someone wants me to label my sexuality despite me saying i don't fw that

[nymphofnovels]

I think toy doctors are so nice actually like i remember being a little heartbroken kid when one of my beloved stuffed animals got old and torn up and my mom just threw him out. And i know what it would have meant to me, to have someone lovingly stitch him back up instead so i could love him just a little longer. And I’m really glad there are little kids out there who get to see pictures of their stuffed animals and dolls with little fake hospital beds and casts as they “rest & heal” before returning to them good as new. Like what a sweet thing to do with your life.

[nymphofnovels]