#i do its fine im just freaking out

[hearty-an0n]

been studying for two hours still dont know anything i might be cooked guys

[ef-1]

🍷<3

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

With the reveal of Abel now outside of leaks, unless people are right about the crackship idea that Lucifer knocked/got knocked up by Adam and is the secret father, I feel like the implication is that Eve is white.

Lilith, Adam, Eve, Abel and Lucifer are all white. All of the first humans are white. All of the royals are white, all of the people in power are white. Excluding a few characters, like Sara and Emily(who are still gray, and not black btw), almost the entire governing systems are white people.

I don't understand why Viv acts like her being Latina is the reason people don't like her work, or that hating on a successful Latina woman is all anyone is ever doing, when her representation is terrible???

I'm not special for saying this, cuz this has been a problem since day one and plenty of people complain about it. But every brown/black isn't ya know.......BROWN. Velvette is the only character I can think of thats actually black.

Alastor, Val, Vaggie, Carmilla are all either gray or purple. And Alastor doesn't even have a good excuse like Val or Vaggie have with being bugs. Deer are usually brown anyway, and he's the most humanoid of all the furry characters so him having a more human skin tone wouldn't be that odd of a design choice.

I'm probably missing some other characters because Viv is awful at conveying that a character isn't white. Husk doesn't count, he's only black because Keith David is playing him, he was never intentionally written to be black. (And neither was Alastor so, ¯\_(:/)_/¯) Niffty is only Asian because her pilot VA could speak Japanese, and Viv was like "yeah sure, whatever. she can be Japanese" without any further thought being put into what that could mean for her character. Vassago may or may not have been originally intended to be Latino, idk, but again he's still being played by a irl Latino so it could just be the same problem with Husk.

There's nothing necessarily wrong with the first humans all being white, but there's also nothing wrong with stopping to ask yourself "Why is it that my first instinct is to make Adam and Eve white? Is it my own bias? Is it because this is what society pushes as biblical canon?"

Almost everyone has racist or uncomfortable biases. It's normal when you live in a racist society. You grow up hearing things or absorbing information from your peers and the people around you. The best way to avoid that, is to sincerely question and understand why you feel and think the way that you do. Asking, "Why is it that when I want to convey that this character is evil and scary, my first instinct is to use symbols and words from a foreign religion? Is it because I'm genuinely interested in this religion, and want to explore it? Or is it because I've been taught to think that foreign cultures, especially black cultures, are inherently more scary and monstrous?" Is how you actually figure out if what you're doing is something to be concerned over, and if it's something that's hurtful or mean and thus should be corrected.

But Viv doesn't ask these questions. She uses being Latina to deflect her racism, or claim that people engaging with her art in a way she doesn't like is just them being the racist ones.

(Or homophobia, or hating SA victims, or just being mean to her for no reason. And I get it to a certain extent. She's been dealing with anti's and people fucking with her over being a furry FOR AWHILE NOW LMAO. Sometimes its hard to tell when something is a REAL genuine critique or complaint, and who's just bitching again because they can't handle a pop song about SA, or a bathtub of snakes, or the fact that valangel exists at all. Some people are out to be actually fucking awful for no real reason, but she tends to lump everyone who doesn't like her work as the same when thats not the case. People are also stupid, and genuinely in their very, very dumb hearts think that Snakes In A Bathtub is on the same level as like, racist appropriation and will treat Both with the same Severity because they're stupid)

She panics, and doubles down instead of actually thinking about what she's doing. "Uh, uh, uh, HE'S ACTUALLY MIXED. SO ITS FINE." Isn't helpful. That wasn't the problem. She treats race like its a toy that she doesn't even want to use. There's no sincerity behind anyones design or backstories. It's literally not relevant to her.

Anyway, rant tim. Viv needs therapy. She's definitely too mentally ill and immature to be handling this shit on her own. She is in soooo far over her head and it not only results in a bad show, but probably isn't good for her either.

[f1owermoon]

why do i have to have the nervous system of someone who's being hunted for sport

[quietwingsinthesky]

if supernatural was any good, they would have had mary and lucifer sleep together in the apocalypse world. this would have solved zero problems with the show, but it would have created a hundred more interesting ones than they already had.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

A weird thing about reading ATB is definitely how relatable Tobio's "power" is as an epileptic person. Like just this description is like yeah that's exactly what its like when a seizure is coming on (and since auditory hallucinations are part of my seizures I can interpolate that from Tobio "communicating" with others)

What I kind of like about it is that sometimes Tobio will experience one of these "communications" and within seconds go back to what he was doing, basically unbothered. Which is sometimes just what seizures look like (and sometimes they don't even 'look' like anything and go completely unnoticed!) I'm sure they aren't deliberately going for epilepsy when writing this narrative but even so seeing a character experience relatively muted and unobtrusive "seizures" is kind of nice for a change

[artanogon]

thinking more about being trans

[alexanderpearce]

essay writing in bed day today

[swag-system]

2 people co fronting and one is a baby and one is a teenager and theyre botg trying to cooperate to get food from the kitchen but theyre both really really fucking scared

[alaydabug2]

JESUS CHRIST

SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW

PLEASE 😭

Ok ok ok so

I'm at a 4h camp rn

It's a week long

And my friend Peyton has been playing matchmaker with everyone in our cabin and has been very successful with helping them get with cute guys for the dance on Thursday

Well I wanted to try my luck with this really cute nice guy from gaga ball (below the knee dodgeball)

Well we approach him while we're at the beach and my friend says to him

"Hey you know my friend Alayda"

He said "OH YEAH I kicked her butt in gaga ball"

She goes "I think you two would be cute together"

He went "Oh HECK NO"

Me taking offense cause he was so nice to me earlier before

My friend gies over to him bout to beat him up and talk to him

She comes back and says

"He doesn't like girls"

HELPPPPP

HE GAY

HES LITTERLY GAY 😭

SHOOT ME PLEASE

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

[possum-tooth]

kills myself please please please respond

[ableedingpromise]

God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????

[kissingarthurclaus]

Ourggghhhh good morning everyone I'm thinking about Sportacus comforting me through my anxiety spirals 🥺💖💘💖💘💖💘💖

[itsalwaysdark]

rearranged my room a bit to hoooopefully help.my heater be more effective

[bitegore]

getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now