I have had these thoughts bubbling away in my head for like...eighteen months or so now (it will become very obvious why shortly) but the discussion in this post has pushed me to write them down: I think societally we HUGELY underestimate how motherhood for primary caregivers, particularly first-time motherhood, can be a source of vulnerability to radicalisation.
There is obviously huge cultural variance here, but for a lot of cis women becoming primary caregiver to an infant in a capitalist Western society represents a time of immense vulnerability because in general you are:
Incredibly sleep-deprived (which has well-documented knock-on effects for your judgement, mental health, etc)
If you gave birth, recovering from a significant challenge to your physical health (even in the best-case scenario)
Isolated from your previous networks and communities of people in full-time work
Completely separated from the context of your prior career goals and achievements
Under huge amounts of stress to learn how to care for an infant (don't get me started on breastfeeding)
And on top of this, you are also be experiencing a huge amount of messaging about how all this is natural, wonderful, something you're meant to do, something you should love doing, and something that you must do for the welfare of their child. It's a huge amount of pressure and life change even when everything goes right and there's very little cultural space to express negative feelings about it.
Any group of people who offer community, support, and affirmation to cis women in this situation are going to have a really good shot at radicalising them into some very weird and dangerous headspaces and in fact we see this happen all the time - think antivaxxers and TERFs. It flies under the radar because of the hazy positive glow that associates with motherhood and babies and also because we don't take the radicalisation of women seriously I guess because they rarely shoot anybody, but...yeah. It is such a vulnerable time!
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Low level/continuous pain tips for writing
Want to avoid the action movie effect and make your character's injuries have realistic lasting impacts? Have a sick character you're using as hurt/comfort fodder? Everyone has tips for how to write Dramatic Intense Agony, but the smaller human details of lasting or low-level discomfort are rarely written in. Here are a few pain mannerisms I like to use as reference:
General
Continuously gritted teeth (may cause headaches or additional jaw pain over time)
Irritability, increased sensitivity to lights, sounds, etc
Repetitive movements (fidgeting, unable to sit still, slight rocking or other habitual movement to self-soothe)
Soft groaning or whimpering, when pain increases or when others aren't around
Heavier breathing, panting, may be deeper or shallower than normal
Moving less quickly, resistant to unnecessary movement
Itching in the case of healing wounds
Subconsciously hunching around the pain (eg. slumped shoulders or bad posture for gut pain)
Using a hand to steady themself when walking past walls, counters, etc (also applies to illness)
Narration-wise: may not notice the pain was there until it's gone because they got so used to it, or may not realize how bad it was until it gets better
May stop mentioning it outright to other people unless they specifically ask or the pain increases
Limb pain
Subtly leaning on surfaces whenever possible to take weight off foot/leg pain
Rubbing sore spots while thinking or resting
Wincing and switching to using other limb frequently (new/forgettable pain) or developed habit of using non dominant limb for tasks (constant/long term pain)
Propping leg up when sitting to reduce inflammation
Holding arm closer to body/moving it less
Moving differently to avoid bending joints (eg. bending at the waist instead of the knees to pick something up)
Nausea/fever/non-pain discomfort
Many of the same things as above (groaning, leaning, differences in movement)
May avoid sudden movements or turning head for nausea
Urge to press up against cold surfaces for fever
Glazed eyes, fixed stare, may take longer to process words or get their attention
Shivering, shaking, loss of fine motor control
If you have any more details that you personally use to bring characters to life in these situations, I'd love to hear them! I'm always looking for ways to make my guys suffer more write people with more realism :)
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this is a friendly little post to say: if you find that doing stretches for wrist/shoulders/back/whatever either 1) don't help or 2) seem to make your pain worse, then please stop doing the stretches. the answer here is not to keep doing them becuase if you push through the pain eventually it'll get better, right?
listen to me. listen. stretches never did anything for me and at age 25 i learned i had hEDS, which meant 1) most stretches would never help me 2) depending on the stretch, could hurt me, so please. if they aren't helping. please do not keep doing them hoping that they will "eventually" help.
look into whether or not you have a hypermobility disorder or EDS or smth, great resource here: www.ehlers-danlos.com
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Wherefore dost motivation hold deep hatred for me?
As the heading probably implies, I am currently lacking a lot of motivation, which is truly sub-optimal because I literally have my Italian GCSEs this week and I literally have not revised. Moreover, my End of Years are fast approaching and I have my French GCSEs in three week's time. Help.
Consequentially, even though my history teacher still refuses to believe that it is a word, I have decided to turn this into one of those posts where my dopamine literally just relies on the number of notes that I recieve. As promised, @the-red-planet-mars, the floor is yours you have been tagged.
Rules:
Please don't spam the comment section.
You can tag a maximum of 5 people.
Please don't spam reblog.
10 notes: I will actually plan my English homework so that I can then do it without having to ask for an extension. It is due on the day on which I have two of my Italian papers.
15 notes: I will update my 'Aeneid' notes so that my virtual document is up to date with the translations that we have done in class. I should technically also revise the themes and how Juno is portrayed, but we don't talk about that right now.
20 notes: If I haven't done this yet, I will create both a Spanish Quizlet with all the vocabulary I need to learn and I will create a Latin one for all the vocabulary from 'The Aeneid' that I need to know.
25 notes: I will plan, in English, different things that I could say for the picture for my French IGCSE oral. Also, this is a picture I will be using for my Spanish End of Years, so that is doubly helpful.
30 notes: I will do an Italian listening paper though I will listen to it at a faster speed than what is asked because otherwise I will literally get so bored and lose all will to live.
45 notes: I will finish researching Virgil and the historical context.
60 notes: I will practice Latin and Greek vocabulary on Quizlet every day after this week, for at least 10 minutes each day for each language.
75 notes: I really need to do this. I will make a poster with how to form different tenses in Italian.
100 notes: I will do an Italian Writing practice paper. This is going to cause me so much suffering. Help me.
120 notes: I will actually write down different expressions, including idomatic phrases, that I could use to describe the picture for my French IGCSE oral.
130 notes: I will make physics notes on energy.
140 notes: I will make notes on quantitative chemistry.
150 notes: I will make a poster with how to form different tenses in French.
155 notes: I will watch the AQA videos on the Cold War and make notes on them.
170 notes: I will do a practice Spanish listening paper.
200 notes: I will practice Latin and Greek vocabulary on Quizlet every day after this week, for at least 30 minutes each day for each language, including a written vocabulary test.
230 notes: I will do a practice Spanish reading and writing paper.
250 notes: I will do a practice Latin translation and ask my teacher if she happens to have a mark scheme.
270 notes: I will do a practice Greek translation and ask my teacher if she happens to have a mark scheme.
300 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Crime and Punishment.
350 notes: I finish my Biology notes on reproduction.
380 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Religion and Life.
430 notes: I will look through my history notes on Germany and finish them in accordance to the AQA book.
520 notes: I will do a practice Greek language paper.
530 notes: I will do a practice Latin language paper.
605 notes: I will actually write down different expressions, including idomatic phrases, that I could use to describe the picture for my Spanish End of Year oral.
720 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Buddhism.
850 notes: I will make full notes on the Cold War.
Honestly, if you have even bothered to read through all of these, you have absolutely earned more respect that I thought I was capable of giving to a single human being. I technically have a lot more things I should do, including re-reading Things Fall Apart and actually making complete maths notes, as well as notes for the sciences, but I doubt I will never get this many tags anyway.
Edit: It has been five minutes and I already got 14 notes. I am actually terrified of this site. What in Tartarus? Y'all are crazy and I love you so much.
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Book Publishing Resources
Well, since a few people said they were interested and/or that posting about it on here occasionally was a decent idea, here we go!
I'm MC Calvi, a freelance editor specializing in self-help, psychology, spirituality, paganism, workbooks, and LGBTQ books.
You can find out more about me at my website, where I also offer free twenty-minute book/publishing consultations, in addition to regular editing services.
I am also now offering some pay-what-you-can resources on my website and on Gumroad. I'm committed to offering pay-what-you-can resources because the odds are already so stacked against marginalized authors, and publishing shouldn't be pay to win.
I have two new booklets I'm actually super happy with! They both draw on my eight years of experience in the publishing industry to give authors a leg up.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming as I hit "publish" on another good news post!
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