#i do have plans for another klaus fic but we all know how slow i am

[andreal831]

The pacing for season 4 and especially season 5 seemed extremely rushed to me. I’ve always thought the show could’ve used a season in between season 3 and season 4 to pace it better.

What are your thoughts about this? What do you think would’ve and/or should’ve occured had this of happened?

I couldn't agree more.

In fact, all of the fics I've written in the TVD universe have been fixing that period, (subtle plug for my fics) so I can tell you exactly what I would have done. This will have spoilers for my fics so feel free to go over to AO3 or Wattpad and read there first!

They could have done something so amazing. As someone who watched the shows from a young age, it almost felt like we grew up with the TVD gang, and then were watching Hope grow up which would have made Legacies so special to watch her come into her own. But we didn't get that. Instead, Hope grew up in the blink of an eye off screen. For a show about family, it seemed to constantly put the family aspects on the back burner.

They did all of these major time jumps simply because Julie Plec wanted to move on to Legacies. She liked the idea of what I just described but didn't have the patience to actually do it effectively. From what I've heard, The Originals was supposed to be like 6 or 7 seasons. Instead, we essentially got 4.

If they wanted to shorten the seasons, I would have scrapped season 5 completely. It was honestly a mess and didn't add much to the overall story. If you want to read how I would do that, I've written a story called The Last Sacrifice which shows season 4 as the series finale. SPOILERS for my story. Essentially, instead of splitting the Hollow in four, Elijah takes it all and sacrifices himself. To me, this gives Elijah a kind of redemption arc while allowing his family a chance at happiness.

Now my current work in progress, The Great War, starts in the beginning of season 3. I love season 3, but I think this is where things start to get messy. We see these constant character arcs and then destructions throughout this season. Deep traumas are brought to light and then quickly moved on from. The characters are all going through massive trauma but as an audience, we don't have a second to truly feel the impact because the next thing is already happening.

Then the show does a 5 year time jump and we don't even get flashbacks of Hayley trying to save the family or raising Hope on her own? It wasn't just the Mikaelsons missing out on Hope's life, but the audience as well. We finally get them reunited for about a week and then they are all forced to go their separate ways. And they cave in so easily. The Mikaelsons I know, especially after being separated for so long, wouldn't have gone down without a fight. Hayley sending Hope off to boarding school makes no sense. She fought so hard to keep her child with her only to send her off? Also, why couldn't Rebekah and Marcel have stayed in New Orleans than since Hope would never be there? Or Klaus for that matter? Elijah erasing his memories made no sense. Freya not working endlessly to destroy the Hollow and reunite her family for 5 years made no sense.

Then finally we get the mess of Season 5 and they all just give up. There's nearly no fight in them. Why can't they all just split up again? Why can't they send the Hollow to another realm? If you want to see how I would have written season 5, check out Don't It Just Break Your Heart. Essentially, how did Klaus not just force Elijah's memories back when everything started falling apart?

The last few seasons were rushed and poorly written because the writers were done, the actors were done, and Julie Plec didn't care.

But if you're interested, The Great War is planning to follow a lot of the cannon events but slowing things down a lot. I do have an added character to try and control the Mikaelsons slightly, but I'm trying to keep it true to how I see the events actually taking place if the characters are staying true to their character arcs.

As for the season between season 3 and 4, this is a little bit of spoilers for TGW, but yes, there definitely needs to be a season there. The time jump is ridiculous and we miss so much good character development.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry some of this is vague but I don't want to spoil TGW too much!

[orionwhispers]

Only 4 More Chapters!!

wow.... I’ve planned it all out and I’m sad but excited to say DLM has only four more chapters till we reach our final conclusion. This has been a hell of a wild ride and I have got to say the best is yet to come! I’m already starting the next chapter and I hope you all love it, and I promise it won’t take me as long.... I hope! 

This was my first ever leap into writing fanfic and has grown my confidence and made me so many friends, I love ya’ll!!! 

Devil Like Me will end on chapter 20. xoxox 

[klave-fucktober]

Klave Fucktober Fest - Info Post

Hello Party People, the Hargreeves’ birthday is nigh and what’s a better present for our lovely Number Four (and us) than getting him and his main squeeze thoroughly wrecked? Without further ado...

Welcome to Fucktober! A prompt fest dedicated to creating mature fanworks for The Umbrella Academy pairing of Klaus Hargreeves/Dave Katz.

Details under the cut…

Cool! So, who is it that’s hiding behind the curtain?

Your fest runners for this event are CriseCardiac (@thistlemoth) and Teddy  (@yeah-klave), just a couple of friendly neighborhood smut enthusiasts dying for some content in these dark, dark interseasonal times. Any questions, you can find us on tumblr or, more often than not, hanging out in Elliott’s House.

Okay, how does this work?

You can submit a prompt here from now until September 17th. The submitted prompts will be posted on September 19th, on which day claiming will open and participants can begin working on their submission(s). Multiple claims are allowed on prompts, and you can claim as many as you want. Collabs are great! We don’t want to be restrictive – the idea of this fest is to encourage as much smutty Klave creation as possible: we want ALL THE SMUT.

Once you have completed your work, you can either: (1) add it to the AO3 Klave-Fucktober Collection - “Klave Fucktober 2021″; and/or (2) submit it to the Klave-Fucktober tumblr page. The AO3 Collection will go live on 30 October and any works submitted to the tumblr page will also be posted at intermittent times throughout the day on the 30th October, and, depending on the number of entries, the following days.

Alternatively, you can post your work to your own tumblr, however, if you’re doing this, we ask that you don’t post your work until 30 October, please. If you’re posting to your own tumblr, please remember to tag your work #fucktober. Also, if you tag either @klave-fucktober, @thistlemoth or @yeah-klave, one of us will reblog on the official fucktober tumblr page.

Please note, if you are creating nsfw art, you must adhere to the rules of the site you are posting your work to.

What can I prompt?

It’s a free-for-all baby! Want to see Klaus and Dave having sweet, sticky Saigon sex? Prompt it! Want to see them getting down and dirty in the jungle? Prompt it! Modern AU lazy Sunday morning lovemaking? Angsty, post-argument make-up fuck? Gender-swapped klave (i.e. our lovely Klesbians) princess/stable girl illicit love affair? Office co-workers enemies to lovers? Sex dungeon? Semi-public? Trans? Threesome? Moresome? Full on orgy? First time? Prompt it, prompt it, prompt it!!

So, in summary, as long as Klave is the main pairing and it involves some form of sex, you can prompt anything and everything. This could be as simple as a particular kink or you could submit a detailed scenario. Whatever you’ve been craving, this is your opportunity to get it out to potential nsfw Klave content creators.

Are there any exclusions?

No rape and no underage, please. And absolutely no kink-shaming.

Can I submit a prompt if I don’t plan to contribute?

Of course. As a prompt fest, there’s no commitment. Often the prompts are a gift in themselves. Your prompt may inspire something wonderful – so please, prompt away!

What can I create?

Anything you want, as long as your creation is in some way fucktastic! Write something, draw something, use those graphic-design-is-my-passion skills. Know some songs you think the boys would get down and dirty to? Make a playlist! All fannish talents are welcome and encouraged. We’re here for a fun, adult time together. Go wild.

As a note for fics: there are no word count restrictions. You can write a sexy bite-sized drabble or a slow burn epic where all that antici-- pation and build-up doesn’t come to a tingly, pulsating climax until chapter 10. Multichapter fics do not need to be completed within the fest window.

I’ve made a claim but I’m afraid I won’t finish my submission on time. What happens now?

No worries, it happens! Neither of us will run screaming after you in the night. Claiming is mostly to give us an idea of what to expect and allow your potential audience to get excited about what might be to come. Allowing multiple claims means you can be as ambitious as you want without preventing other submissions.

If you change your mind about a claim, decide to fill a different prompt instead, create something that hasn’t even been prompted, post only the first chapter, post later than the fest window – that’s all fine!

I’ve never created anything nsfw before – I’d like to participate but I’m nervous about the theme.

This is not an exclusive environment. We know there are many smut veterans out there who will be eager to participate in this event, but we also want to use this as an opportunity to encourage as many new participants to get involved as well! Whether you’re new to creating nsfw content for this pairing, or just new to creating nsfw content at all – we would LOVE for you to get involved!

There’s no getting around it, posting smut can be very daunting. Maybe you’ve always wanted to create something nsfw but have always felt too exposed or nervous to post it? Maybe you’ve created something in the past but have always thought it was not good enough or not sexy enough to share? To all you lovely people, we beckon you over, throw our arms wide and invite you to join the smut club.

Smut comes in all shapes and sizes and styles. Just like kinks. Just like people. Everyone has different tastes and preferences – there is no right or wrong way to create smut. What works for one person might not work for another, but that’s part of the fun of it!

So whatever your previous smut experience level, we would love for you to take part. And remember, if you’ve got any questions, concerns or you just need a little positive encouragement, you can always reach out to one of the event runners – we’re very friendly and we’re both smut-writers, so we’d be happy to chat with you. Feel free to drop us an ask or a DM.

Any warnings?

This is an open prompt fest, where just about anything goes, so please be aware of this when reading prompts and fills.

We ask our creators to tag all works accordingly, so nobody gets any nasty surprises, i.e. any potential triggers, unusual kinks or non-klave pairings (particularly any sibling ships). However, we caution everyone to read/view/participate at their own risk.

I am underage, can I participate?

Sorry, but no. This is a smut fest, 18+ only please.

The Timeline

Sept 4th -  Prompting begins

Sept 17th (noon PST/ 7pm UTC) - Prompting ends

Sept 19th (midnight PST/ 7am UTC) - Claiming opens

Oct 30th (Devil’s Night) - The revelry, I mean posting, starts!

[honestgrins]

Hi I have a propt for u if u want , I just want to read a kc fic where caroline is a badass but mature and she puts hayley in her place and gives klaus shit for sleeping w her but not the whole baby thing she is not pregnant more like a alpha wannabe write it IF u want and like the idea if u dont want is ok thank u , tho its just my first birthday alone and I want sth special its kinda selfish but pls write even sth small ill be grateful thanks.

Petty

Elijah poured himself another cup of tea, politely ignoring the crash of furniture coming from upstairs. “Miss Forbes,” he offered, holding the kettle toward her.

Too busy poring over the textbook open beside her breakfast, Caroline gave a small grin of apology without looking at him. “I’m more of a coffee girl, thanks.” 

Glass shattered somewhere above them. “Perhaps some blood, then? I believe it will be a trying day. Best keep up your strength.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I think I could pass a freshman bio test while hallucinating from a wolf bite. I’ll be fine.”

He arched a brow, barely stifling his amusement. “I meant—”

Sighing, she finally met his intent gaze with exasperation. “I know what you meant, I just don’t have time to indulge his mood swings. Part of the deal of me living here is that I get to maintain a normal college experience, regardless of whatever world domination he has in mind.” Another crash of splintered wood broke her train of though, and she grimaced at the ceiling. “Or when things don’t go to plan. Why do vampires even keep wood in the house? Sure, you guys can’t exactly die as easily, but it seems impractical.”

“Noted,” Elijah said, just as Hayley stomped into the dining room and helped herself to the spread they’d barely touched. As she bit into a scone, he offered her a cup of tea as well with a concerned eye to her visible pregnancy. “I assume the meeting didn’t go well.”

“Your brother is an ass,” she snapped, frustrated. “Apparently, marrying the father of my child is an affront to his ego.”

Caroline groaned, slamming her book shut. “Oh, please. I’m as tired of his power trips as the next person, but we all know you and Jackson getting hitched bolsters your claim to lead the pack. Kind of goes against the agreement to live and let live without declaring a winner to the alpha war you guys are having, don’t you think?”

Hayley rolled her eyes. “Of course, you’d take his side.”

Glaring at the ceiling again, she forced her fangs to stay tucked away. “I’m so tired of this damn town. How’s anyone supposed to study when everyone is bickering over fake hierarchies?” With her enhanced hearing, she caught the offended huff coming from the studio. Letting out a slow breath, she gave her best fake smile to Hayley, then a more aggrieved expression to Elijah. “Please excuse me, I have a hybrid to admonish for petty disruptions.”

When she made it up to his studio, however, she was the one with her back pressed to the door. “A petty disruption, am I?” Klaus asked, his lips a distracting inch from hers as he pushed into her space. “Pray tell, sweetheart, the sins for which I need admonishment.”

With a sharp grin, her hand dug into his hair and tugged, baring his throat to her teeth. “I have a test in two hours and no patience for your tantrums over Hayley.” Her fangs tested the edge of his jaw, and she mused, “Unless it’s not about the pack at all.”

Klaus pulled back at that, brows knit as his eyes couldn’t leave her mouth. “Caroline—”

“You’re not just acting out of jealousy, are you?” she asked, trailing her lips up to his ear. “Did you want to be the one to knock her up, claim their little wolf dynasty for your own?” She shoved him back then, her stare hard as he glared. Worse, he looked a bit scared. A bit of tough love was in order, but she didn’t mean to make him question her. Speaking more gently, she leaned back against the door to show she wasn’t leaving anytime soon. “I get it, it sucks that New Orleans and all the vampires, witches, and wolves won’t fall in line behind you.”

“They’re not even trying,” he complained, running a hand through his mussed hair. “And now, she—”

“Hey.” Putting her hand up, Caroline refused to up with the pity party any longer. “You’re the one who told her about the Crescent pack and its likely connection to her, which you noticed at time she clearly didn’t bother you so much.” They both winced at the reminder of his tryst with the wolf, a past that couldn’t be buried back in Mystic Falls as easily as they’d like. “You break it, you buy it, and all that. Can’t we just...move on with our lives? Maybe have some fun while we’re at it? Without the supernatural warfare, preferably.”

His head tilted to the side, and she saw the predatory glint in his eyes half a second too late. Before she could argue, he lifted her into his arms and had her pressed against the door once more. “Now,” he said, his voice low through his fangs as he brushed his nose along hers, “where’s the fun in that?”

She kissed him with bruising force, tugging his lip with her own fangs. “You have one hour,” she warned, working his shirt out of his jeans. She tore it, though, at his challenging expression. “I mean it, Klaus, or else I will find somewhere else to live. Someplace with fewer distractions.” Her nails dug into his sides to emphasize her point. “My study schedule has been ruined enough.”

“Not quite,” he smirked, “but an hour will have to do.”

“For the time being,” she agreed, laughing when he lifted her back into his arms to carry her toward the lone sofa not destroyed.

[wasabimia]

cuddles in the kitchen/klaus hargreeves x fem!reader

summary: after a long day reader spends some quality time with her partner klaus a/n: hello, hello! this is my first fic, so excuse it if it’s too bad :) hope you enjoy reading! <3 pairing: klaus hargreeves x reader category: fluff warnings: mentions and usage of drugs word count: 1070 masterlist

requests are open

cuddling was something klaus loved about your relationship. and after a long day at work the only two things you wanted were joint and cuddles with klaus.

"bonjour darling! how was your day?" klaus asked with spatula in his hand. "it was a long, exhausting day, yours? by the way, why do you have spatula in your hand?" y/n asked and put her shoes off. "it's not spatula, it's my microphone and i missed you." he came closer to y/n and hugged her. "i missed you too." y/n mumbled into klaus's chest and hugged him back. after a while klaus gave y/n kiss on her head and backed away.

"y/n?" klaus started and looked at his girlfriend. "listening." y/n mumbled back. "i'm going to bake some cookies, you are going to sit your little pretty booty on the couch, maybe take nap and after i finish, we can cuddle in our bed and maybe smoke something. how does it sound?" klaus looked at his girl and smiled. "sounds awesome, but klaus, please don't set our kitchen on fire. understood?" y/n booped klaus's nose and went to sit in the couch. klaus only giggled and came back to kitchen, starting to make cookies. "i'm going to change, i'll be right back." y/n stated and went to bedroom, looking for something to wear.

after few minutes y/n came back in her pyjama pants and one of klaus's t-shirts. she laid down on the couch and watched klaus as he danced around the kitchen in purpose to find all of the ingredients. unfortunately, y/n got bored really easily so after minute or two, she stood up and decided to hug klaus from behind. "hello there!" klaus smiled and placed one hand on y/n's two. "hi!" y/n whispered and put her head on klaus's shoulder. "y/n, i really appreciate that you are this touchy today, and i'm really sorry, but you have to get off of me because, with my luck, i'll hurt you one way or another and you know i don't want that." klaus stated and y/n just pouted and started to walk away. klaus immediately knew that y/n is going to be sad, so he turned around, took y/n back by her wrist. "klaus, what are you doing?" y/n squeeked when klaus lifted her up and sat her on the top of the kitchen counter. "see? much better." klaus chuckled and gave y/n small kiss on her forehead. "what's so much better?" y/n rolled her eyes playfully and kissed klaus's nose. "well, now you're not pouty and sad." klaus stated and opened the cabinet next to them. he pulled out a pack of chocolate chips and mixed it with a dough he already made. "hey y/n! i wonder if you could pass me salt?" klaus asked and looked y/n's way. "yes, of course." y/n said as she reached for the salt and almost fell of the counter. "wow, y/n, be careful!" klaus said as he reached out for her, "are you okay?" he asked as she steadied herself. "yeah, I'm fine." "okay, I'm glad." klaus smiled as he put one of his hands on y/n's waist and pulled her closer to him.

"it's so silent in here. i don't like it. i'll be right back." y/n stated and jumped off of the counter. "hey y/n! where are you going?" klaus turned around and pouted. "just going to put some music on. don't worry I'll be right back." y/n kissed klaus's nose and walked away. "and what are you going to play?" klaus asked curiously, but not even ten seconds later, he heard first tones of lady gaga’s judas and knew what was about to happen. "seriously, y/n?" klaus smirked when he saw his girlfriend dramaticaly lip-sync to the song.   "what? i can't hear you because of the lack of good music taste you have." y/n giggled and klaus gasped dramatically and put his hand on his chest. "what did you just say? i think, you will pay for this." klaus dramatically pointed finger at y/n and started to run towards her. "and by what?" y/n smirked as klaus picked her up and basically threw her on the couch. "by tickle torture." klaus let out devilish laugh, pinned y/n to the couch and immediately started to tickle her. "klaus, no!" "klaus, stop!" "no, stop please!" "so who has bad music taste?" klaus asked, stoping his torture. "well, you. but i need to pee, so get off me." y/n said and tried to get klaus off of her. "you are lucky girl right now, darling, 'cause i have to put cookies into the oven. run, but be right back." klaus pecked y/n lips and went back to kitchen.

after a minute y/n came back and put on some slow music. o children by nick cave & the bad seeds started playing and y/n walked to the kitchen. klaus already put cookies in the oven, slowly rocking from side to side. "so slow song, huh?" klaus smirked at y/n and came closer to her. "of course. at least one thing can be romantic in this relationship. exclude eating me out high and getting high together." y/n smirks and put her hands around klaus' neck and starts to slowly rock with. "ouch! this one hurts!" klaus whispered and put short, sweet kiss on y/n lips, hugging her around her waist. "you know, i didn't mean it, don't you?" y/n mumble and put her head on klaus' shoulder.

"i like this. we should do this more often." klaus smiled and closed his eyes, happy to have his girl around. "what exactly? listen to more music, bake more cookies or dancing on slow songs from harry potter." she smiles at him, slowly turning klaus to small pirouette. "i am supposed to turn YOU around, not the other way around." klaus giggled and turned y/n around. "yeah, but i liked it that way." y/n bit her lip and kissed klaus' nose. "you have no idea, how much i love you, n/n." klaus said with adoring look on his face. "i love you too, klaus! to the moon and back." y/n whispered and kissed klaus slowly.

suddenly, timer went off. both of them flinched, panting. "jesus christ! i almost had a heart attack!" y/n exclaimed. "cookies are ready!" klaus said happily and pulled them out of the oven. "so what are the plans?" y/n asked and hugged klaus from behind. "you. me. our bed. two joints. cookies and cuddling. how does it sound?" "too good to be truth. let's go!" y/n takes klaus' hand and drag him into their bedroom.

[fandomlit]

two man party (klaus hargreeves x reader)

requested by @sokkasdarling “hiii can i request a klaus hargreeves fic where he gets jealous over the reader and diego getting close but rly the reader is going to diego bc he helps her with her feelings for klaus??”

summary klaus is convinced that you and diego are a thing, but his fears soon vanish after a two many party on the roof with you.

warning underage drinking and smoking, jealousy (if that’s even a warning)

a/n y’all season two is SO CLOSE 

gif cred belongs to @ravenclairee​

“what’s that look for?” ben laughed at klaus, taking his side where he was leaning against the balcony.

“what look?” klaus attempted to question him innocently. ben shook his head and followed his gaze, letting out a loud laugh that made klaus purse his lips and blush. down in the foyer, you and diego were hugging and whispering. when you pulled apart, diego kept your hand in his and continued to talk as you smiled.

“oh my god, klaus,” ben snickered, rubbing a hand over his face. klaus ignored him, watching as you laughed and diego dragged you off.

“do you think they’re dating?” klaus asked, looking to where you two once stood. ben rolled his eyes, turning to his brother.

“honestly, no,” ben said. “they’d destroy diego.”

he looked over to see klaus smile dreamily. “yeah.”

“hey, klaus!” the two looked over to see diego had dragged you up the stairs, still gripping your hand. you gave him a smile and a wave, which he returned easily. then diego pulled you into his room, and he was left staring like a dazed idiot.

ben shook his head in almost disbelief at his love-struck brother. “you’re gone, man.” he dragged klaus off with him to his room.

“alright, my dad gets back in three hours, so you have until then to kiss klaus,” diego smirked at you as you sat down on his bed.

“you’re awful!” you laughed, face flushing. he laughed with you. “even if i... tried or whatever, i’d immediately be pushed, yelled at, and above all else, embarrassed!”

diego shook his head as he sat at his desk chair. “you act like he doesn’t just stare at you every time you’re within one hundred feet of him.”

“because he doesn’t!” you retorted.

“maybe you should find out!” diego challenged, leaning forward. 

“there’s nothing to find out,” you sighed, dropping your head into your hands. “im stuck crushing on a guy who’ll never consider me as nothing more than a friend and distraction from his weird superhero life.”

diego bit his tongue, knowing he’d be killed if he said any more. so instead he just slid next to you on the bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you moped.

about an hour after you had arrived at the manor, klaus was searching through the unattended liquor cabinet. when he heard footsteps patter into the kitchen, he immediately slammed it shut and turned around, calling out a pre-prepared, “nothing!”

you laughed at his frightened expression, making him blush but offer you a sheepish grin. “continue. i just needed some water.”

he watched you walk over to grab a glass before turning back around to the cabinet, a little tenser than before, knowing you were also in the room.

“got any special plans with your father out?” you hummed as you filled your glass with water.

“a one man party,” klaus sighed, presenting a bottle from the cabinet. you giggled, making him smile as you trotted toward the exit of the kitchen. he watched after you, his smile not leaving. then he heard diego’s voice teasing you from the top of the stairs, and the smile was gone. he looked back down to the bottle before slamming the cabinet shut.

that night, klaus sat on the roof of the house with the stolen bottle of liquor gripped in one hand, the other supporting his head as he stared blearily at the night sky. what if you were in love with diego? even if you two weren’t dating, you both spent so much time together. maybe you liked him.

“i know you said one man party, but that’s just no way to spend a friday night.”

klaus turned around to see you had climbed onto the roof. he offered you a smile and a lazily said, “i thought you left hours ago.”

“five hid me in his room,” you explained as you sat next to him. he offered the bottle to you, but you held a hand out to refuse. he gave you an odd look before you whipped out a pack of cigarettes.

“oh my god, you’re perfect,” he dramatically sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to give you a side hug as you laughed. he then opted to keep his arm there as you lit a cigarette and held it out for him. he took it in between his teeth from your hands, making you smile and blush as he took a drag and sighed in content. “seriously, you’re the best.”

you smiled again, resting your head on his shoulder. he swore his heart leapt and he smirked to himself. “no, you’re the best,” you smiled. he rested his head atop yours with a content smile, closing his eyes. the image of you and diego holding hands earlier flashed in his mind, and he almost scowled. instead, he removed the cigarette from his mouth and offered it to you.

when you took it, he asked, “so what did you and diego end up doing?”

after you took a drag, you said, “we just watched a movie and hung out.”

“did you cuddle?” he teased, though it caused a pang in his chest.

“no,” you laughed, hitting your hand to his chest. “no, uh... i don’t like diego.” he watched as you quickly took another puff to avoid any further explanation.

“but you like someone..?”

you nodded in confirmation, holding the cigarette back out to him. but he wasn’t paying attention to that anymore, gaze trained on your flushed face.

“who do you like?”

you shook your head with a short laugh, not looking up at him. “no, klaus.”

“no?” klaus repeated, offended. he lifted his head from atop yours to give you an incredulous look. “how dare you!”

you laughed and lifted your head from his shoulder (much to his dismay), throwing the burnt out cigarette down to squish under your toe. “im sorry!”

“i guess it’s alright,” he sighed, ever so dramatically. “you can make it up to me by telling me who you like.”

you hit his chest again. “you’re not gonna like the answer.”

“i like anything you say,” he admitted, giving you a determined look. you prayed he didn’t see your blush growing as you lit another cigarette and held it out to him. he did the same move of taking it between his lips from your fingers, looking dead into your eyes as he did so. you gulped.

as softly as you could, you said, “it’s you.”

his eyes never left yours as he took what seemed to be an extremely slow drag of the tobacco-loaded stick. when he took it from of his mouth, he said, “see? i liked that answer.” you gave him an incredulous and confused look. instead of saying anything else, he threw down to newly lit cigarette, ground it under his shoe, placed a warm hand on your cheek, and pulled you into a long, warm kiss.

your hands gripped at his shirt, tugging him as close as possible to you before he pulled away, leaving the taste of whiskey and nicotine on your lips. he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes closed in bliss.

“i liked that answer, too,” you breathed, grinning. he chuckled, throwing his other arm around you and pulling you into another kiss.

[cupcakemolotov]

Wild Hunt

I think I promised @goldcaught a Klaroline Fae fic years ago. This one has been in the works for a while, let's not talk dates, but 2020 definitely slowed production down. I promise, the second half will not sit languishing in my WIP for too long! The biggest, most heartfelt thank you to Kiry, who has been both a cheerleader and a kick in the pants as needed to get this thing on track to being finished. Kiry doesn't sleep, but I can't complain too much, since they have kindly listened to me complain until the wee hours of the morning. (And also my girl @klarolinedrabbles who saw a super early version of this and was kind enough to be encouraging.)

Edit; And I failed to tag @kirythestitchwitch directly, but you know, today was a trip.

A couple of notes to avoid confusion:

Fae: A word used in this fic to generally reference a type of European mythological beings. Sean O'Connell: Cami O'Connell's Twin.

Synopsis: Killing Tyler Lockwood starts a chain of events that put Caroline exactly where she's always dreaded and longed to be: in the arms of Klaus Mikaelson.

Warnings: Alternate Universe; Alternate Universe - FaeAlternate; Universe - Soulmates; Fae!Caroline; hybrid!Klaus; Minor Character Death; Blood and Gore; Mild Gore; Implied/Referenced; Torture; Psychological Torture; Canon-Typical Violence; Compulsion; Blood and Injury; Blood Drinking

Hand pressed tightly against her side, Caroline took several careful breaths, her lungs burning and her pulse a steady thump in her ears. Her senses were hyper alert, magic straining to catch the faintest hint of a disturbance. All around her, humans slept soft and cozy in their beds, and the night had gone quite. As the silence continued to hold, she allowed herself to relax, letting the cold of the concrete at her spine cool her flushed and fever warm skin. For the moment, she was safe.

Reaching up, she rubbed her breastbone, lips curling into a small, pleased smile at the burn. Her father was angry. If she survived the night, that alone would make the pain of her injury worth it. Thankfully, the knife wound felt like it had finally stopped seeping, and her glamour would hide the blood. It was the iron poison that was going to cause her complications. The black spider web crawling up the line of her ribcage hadn’t made it close to her heart, she was her mother’s daughter too, but it weakened her all the same.

It left her in a magical disadvantage.

Grimacing as her phone buzzed silently in her pocket, she pressed a little further into the concrete behind her and looked around. There was nothing to suggest her cousins had been able to track her, though that was just a matter of time. Thankfully, even suffering from iron, she had enough control of her magic to hide the glow from her phone, though she didn’t quite dare to risk more.

Not yet.

Pulling it free from her pocket, she winced at the number of missed calls and quickly scanned the texts that had accumulated.

Bonnie (12:45 AM): Hello???

Bonnie (12:46 AM): You’re not dead.

Bonnie (12:46): Are you ignoring me?

Bonnie (1:10 AM): I swear, I’ll put Enzo on a plane. With the time differences, he’ll be there before dawn.

Bonnie (1:10 AM): Then you’ll have to listen to him complain about airplane food while he tries to kill people.

Bonnie (1:11 AM): I might do it anyway. I could use the alone time.

Wincing, because Bonnie Bennett did not bluff, she hurriedly tapped out a response.

Caroline (1:11 AM): I’m alive.

Bonnie (1:11 AM): What happened?

Caroline (1:11 AM): It was a trap.

Bonnie (1:11 AM): How bad?

Caroline: (1:12 AM): I’ve mostly stopped bleeding and Tyler is dead.

Very dead. She’d made sure of it. There was a lot someone like her father would do with a dead body, so she’d made a point to separate his head from his body so he couldn’t be resurrected. Baba Yaga spells were rare and costly, but if anyone could get their hands on one, it would be her father. It was why she’d then dumped her stash of holy water on the body and then carefully dusted him in iron shavings, rendering his body and his blood unusable.

The little dots below her conversation on her messenger app popped up and died several times, and Caroline closed her eyes, letting her head fall back as she waited for Bonnie’s response. She’d know that coming to Chicago was a risk, for a number of reasons, but even at her most pessimistic she wasn’t sure she could have guessed just what she’d find here.

What could possibly have led Tyler to be so desperate that he would trust her father? Tyler, who was one of the few people who knew the truth of her origin, who had hugged her when she’d said goodbye and told her he would always care about her. Tyler, whose blood she now wore beneath her nails, who had stabbed her with an iron knife and who had died with hate in eyes.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced down.

Bonnie (1:13 AM): Klaus is in Chicago.

Caroline stared at her phone, surprise and a shot of adrenaline leaving her momentarily breathless. Klaus. Here. In Chicago. The city where Bill had set up his most recent plots, where Tyler had attempted to betray everything that had once made him a good man. Sliding her teeth along her lip, she very carefully typed her reply, her fingers shaking.

Caroline (1:14 AM): You said he was in London for the next month. What changed?

Bonnie (1:15AM): I don’t know.

Bonnie (1:16 AM): Do you need an exit?

Bonnie (1:16 AM): He owes me.

Caroline was shaking her head even before she started typing. Being anywhere near Klaus was a terrible idea, and Bonnie knew that. That her friend would never make the offer unless she thought it necessary left dread sitting low in her stomach.

Caroline (1:16 AM): What’s got you spooked?

Bonnie (1:17 AM): Someone is blocking my scrying spells.

Caroline (1:17 AM): Bill?

Bonnie (1:17 AM): If we’re lucky. We both know what it means if we’re not.

Caroline’s fingers tightened on her phone case, her pulse loud in her ears. Bonnie was right. Very, very few things blocked her from seeing what she wanted to see. Bill could do it thanks to the blood bind but it wasn’t easy, and he never managed it for long periods of time. Grams probably could have done it. But the list of powerful witches who remained alive in the United States after the purging of New Orleans was short.

There was only one reason Bill would use the blood connection between them to block out any outside magic from interfering tonight. She hadn’t just pissed her father off, she’d actively disrupted his plans, and thanks to Bonnie’s magical brilliance, he couldn’t track her easily. But there was another way to drag her to a Fairy Court, and she would have to move very quickly to avoid it.

Baring her teeth in a mimicry of a smile, she gave herself a moment to feel a sharp burst of satisfaction. She had a list on her phone of her father’s potential means of retaliation, and Wild Hunt was right there at the top as the worst possible outcome, but it also meant Tyler must have been far more integral to his plans than she’d guessed. Even knowing that her chances of survival had just taken a serious dip, it did little to dim her pleasure. If she was very, very lucky her father’s precious Queen would feel the need to take out his failure on him directly.

A girl could hope.If she survived the night, she was going to find a fancy bottle of wine and pick up a cupcake. Maybe two cupcakes. She deserved the mini-celebration.

Caroline (1:20AM): I spotted half a dozen of my cousins tonight. I don’t know who holds their allegiance but it probably won’t matter. If Bill is super pissed, he’ll call them all.

Bonnie (1:21 AM): Fuck.

Bonnie (1:21 AM): If it goes bad, don’t be an idiot. Use Klaus.

Caroline (1:21 AM): No.

Caroline (1:22 AM): Favor or not, I killed his hybrid. He doesn’t strike me as forgiving.

Bonnie (1:22 AM): He’s not.

Bonnie (1:23 AM): You don’t have to tell him.

Caroline (1:23 AM): Uh huh. I’ll call you when I’m safe. 🤦😘❤️🏃

Shoving her phone back into her pocket, Caroline exhaled slowly at the bite that was her warning that her magic was nearly tapped dry. Giving herself another half-a-dozen heart beats to celebrate her first major victory, she turned her mind to her problem at hand.

Bonnie had good reason to be worried. It had been almost thirty years since the Queens had summoned a wild hunt to drag one of the half-Fae home for punishment. Bill had made a point to tell her in great details the torture that had awaited her cousin, the way the Queen had plucked his body and his mind apart for his treachery.

Caroline doubted she had become enough of a problem that the Queens would send the hunt, which meant that Bill would be expending a great deal of power to collect her. Her lips twisted, finger tapping silently against the side of her phone. Fae magic was powerful, and so was her father, but it could be circumvented. She needed to concentrate on that, put together her plan.

Pissing her father off twice in one night would normally be her highest priority, but instead what she wanted to think about was the message Bonnie had given her.

 Klaus Mikaelson was in Chicago.

Anticipation was a tantalizing thrill in her veins. She’d hoped the truth of New Orleans would have helped her grow out of her strange obsession. Instead, it left her wanting to know more. It was a struggle, when all she had to do was text Bonnie and ask for a location. She could then finally indulge in the bone deep curiosity that had been part of her life for as long as she could remember. Maybe figure out the cause of her obsession with a monster she’d never met.

She might’ve, if only doing so tonight wouldn’t put everyone she cared about in danger.

Caroline slid her lip between her teeth, letting the small hurt ground her. If she thought her father hated her enough to call down a Wild Hunt now, exposing the Fae’s secrets to Klaus would make his rage burn even more bitterly. She’d honestly have done it years ago out of spite if such a move would only put her in the crosshairs of the courts, but it wouldn’t.

Bonnie and Enzo would also be marked.

The High Courts currently considered her rebellion to be a family matter, though one Bill was unable to control adequately. She could not risk a Queen deciding she was her enemy in truth, not yet. Not when she was so close to figuring out how to banish her father permanently to the otherside of the Veil.

She’d be thrilled to just killing him, but she long since accepted that might not be possible. Tyler had been right, when he’d called her a monster. When he’d called all of them monsters. He just hadn’t understood that for all of the terrible things in this world that there were worse fate’s hidden behind the veil in between the worlds, horrors lovingly encouraged in Underhill that could break a human mind merely with their existence.

Earth had pushed the Fae back with their iron and religion all those years ago, had sealed the veil with witch magic, and humanity considered themselves victorious. But the truth was all they had done was defer the fight for the territory the Fae claimed as theirs to own to a different day.

The Fae hadn’t forgotten humanity nor had they forgiven them for their defeat. Banished behind magic, the Fae watched and watched and hungered. They had waited for the time that they had truly passed into myth, until the world forgot how to defeat them with a dangerous patience. But the nature of the Fae was as capricious as it was violent, and not all agreed on waiting.

Some had altered their plans and plotted a different course of action.

The Great Experiment.

Caroline supposed she should be grateful for that impatience, it was the reason for her existence, but all she could muster just then was a familiar anger. For six hundred years, members of the High Courts had mingled their blood among humans, hoping to breed children with resistance to both iron and the religion, the tools that had locked them away from the world that had once been theirs. And their plan had produced some success, though not always how they had hoped.

She was one such success.

Elizabeth Forbes had never been comfortable with her half-Fae child, but she’d also refused to abandon her to a world filled with monsters. Instead, she’d taught her daughter the good and the bad of humanity, had shown her the world as it was and what it could be. Her father saw her as a tool, a means to an end. Her mother’s love had been gruff and uneasy, but she’d tried.

She would never, ever forget that.

Or forgive Bill for her death.

Caroline had defied her father and his magic, had pitted herself against his will as she vowed vengeance for killing the one thing she’d ever claimed as her own. Her mother.

Hunting Bill required care and a meticulous eye for detail, and a particular stubbornness she had in spades. His magic was more powerful than hers, but he had always underestimated his only child by Liz, brushed her off as not powerful or clever enough for his schemes. It’s been a deliberate decision of hers to hide what she was capable of, hoping that such a ploy would save her mother. Now, she used her magic against him with the same ruthlessness he had taught her as a child.

But she was just one half-breed among hundreds, and so she’d learned to be careful. She wasn’t even the most powerful of those born on this side of the veil and underhanded ambush tactics had always served her better than brute force. A disruption there, a few dozen murder’s here. Just enough to skew her father’s chessboard while she worked to uncover the truth of his plotting. The fewer of her cousins who were able to carry out the will of her father and his fellow full blooded Fae’s plots, the safer humanity was from a terrible strike.

But she couldn’t kill them all, though she’d certainly tried. Her family did not die easily, and magic lingered in places of terrible violence like fingerprints. Each kill was a risk that could lead to her death. Over the years, it’s become clear that if she wanted to destroy her fathers plots, she couldn’t do it alone. The tie that connected them, the thread that burned so clearly now in her chest with her father’s rage, meant that she’d never be truly safe from him. Blood ties were not easily broken.

But Caroline knew witches, so she’d returned home, to the place where the only people she trusted still lived. Tyler had already been gone by then, lost in his need for vengeance, but Bonnie had been there, lingering in the ashes of conquest almost as if she’d been waiting.

It was then that Caroline had learned that humanity's greatest monster had become its potential savior. That the true potential of Ester’s terrible offspring had finally been unlocked. Klaus Mikaelson had broken his curse.

Her fingers curled into her palms, the strange, bone-deep curiosity that ground her joints together every time she thought of his name a familiar sensation. Klaus had broken his strange Sun and Moon curse in the forest she knew so well, had cut a bloody path through everyone who tried to oppose him, and laid the foundations for the army of hybrids he was determined to build. His perfect army that feared neither sun nor death and were unnaturally loyal.

Hybrids that Bonnie had helped create.

Her best friend rarely spoke of the events that led to the creation of the hybrids, refusing to give Caroline even the smallest detail of how a hybrid was made. Even tucked away in her home in Maine twenty years later, hidden by both Fae and witch magic. Caroline might not have the hows involved, but she knew the whys.

It all circled back to Bill.

Liz hadn’t been the only causality of her father’s hunger for power, just the first in their small town. Murdering Sheila Bennett had been a mistake in that it had set Bonnie against Bill, but it fit the pattern Caroline was starting to see in her father’s plans. Liz had been human, but one whose family had been deeply entrenched in the supernatural for generations. Sheila Bennett had been powerful, but she’d been born of the witch line that had created the Otherside. Gram’s had made sure her death had cost Bill, but it hadn’t been enough to stop his plans as Tyler’s presence tonight had proven.

Sometimes, Caroline wondered why Bonnie didn’t hate her. Bill was a scourge that returned time and time again, because her blood allowed it. Maybe if she’d been stronger they’d have been able to protect their families. But what she couldn’t protect, she could avenge.

Bonnie had agreed to help. Had been working on her own plans for years. The first real foothold into Bill’s master plan had been with the Augustine Society. Bonnie had been watching them for months before Caroline’s return, humans who had relentlessly experimented on vampires. They’d staged a rescue for the vampire that had been imprisoned, and it had been Enzo who had known of Tyler.

Tyler who had been the first of Klaus’ successful hybrids, whose loyalty was a shaky thing despite whatever magic bound him to his maker. Her childhood sweetheart who yearned for freedom from the yolk he had chosen. It’d taken months to go through the society’s notes they’d managed to save, to dig into the texts they had been experimenting with.

They’d known so much but understood so little.

But one thing had become crystal clear.

Bill was trying to bring down the Veil. Not unexpected, as most of the Fae worked to destroy it. But Bill also worked to understand what had led to the banishment of the Fae, so he could break it better.

It had been humans, werewolves and witches who had originally created the veil, blocking the Fae Lords from returning in great numbers after their banishment, forcing them to squeeze through cracks when the veil between worlds was thin or use now defunct gates. When iron had slowly lost its grip on the world, they might have managed more but for Qetsiyah.

Bonnie’s ancestor had been clever. When she’d bound the otherside, trapping Amara in stone and Silas forever out of her reach, she’d sunk the power of those souls into the Veil between humanity and the Fae, creating a second anchor. An additional failsafe to guarantee that no Supernatural would be so foolish as to undo her work.

Witch. Vampire. Werewolf. Hybrid. When they died, they were shuffled into Qetsiyah’s chosen afterlife, and their souls protected humanity. Humans were spared that fate, but their very existence acted a detriment to the Fae, as it was humanity who embraced iron.

The fastest way to destroy the Veil would be to free Silas. For a while, she and Bonnie had worried that he would succeed. But no one knew where Qetsiyah had hidden Silas’ body, and for all of her father’s attempts to restart Silas’ little cult, he’d always failed. The last real surge in members had ended when they’d been slaughtered, setting her father back decades.

The only other way to destroy what Qetsiyah had put into place would be to destroy the Veil at the root. And while no one understood the magic that had cast out the Fae so many years ago, her father didn’t need to understand the magic of the Veil to break it. He just needed dominion over it. But that was no easy task. Humans and witches could be bribed or fooled. Werewolves hovered at the brink of extinction. But the children of Esther, the hybrids that now walked the earth, defied every master but one. And so her father gathered his pieces and worked to subjugate Klaus’ creations in secret.

Caroline had tried to save Tyler.

She’d tried to talk him out of the part that Bill needed him to play. He’d refused. And the betrayal had burned like acid in her gut.

It had been Tyler, who had helped her dig Elizabeth Forbes’ grave. Her friend who had given her his gloves when her palms started to bleed, had said nothing when her tears had made her clumsy. It had been Tyler who sat with her and Bonnie, listening as Grams told them of the dangers in the world after Caroline had announced she was leaving. But her friend had died long before Caroline had killed him.

She shivered in the wind.

She knew Klaus played his part in that. It was impossible not to. It had been because of Tyler that she’d ended up in New Orleans, after all. The whispers of the destruction of the city, of how entire witch lines had been lost to madness and death had not adequately captured the horror of it. She’d seen what Klaus had left behind: werewolf packs left in ruin, the survivors turned and bound to his will. Broken witches and terror ridden vampires.

But rarely death. Klaus was not so kind to let his true enemies escape him in such a way. Instead, his wake left behind living ghosts. At least in this, she had done her best by her old friend. Whatever had driven him, whatever horror he had witnessed that had turned him so fully against her, she hoped he could find peace from it now.

She wasn’t so sure she’d be so lucky. Klaus was a spector in her life that she didn’t know if she could escape. And tonight, she’d killed his first hybrid. She grimaced. Klaus would not take to that news kindly. Best if she was long gone when he learned of it.

She wondered if she could manage it. She already felt the pull in her chest, the need to see, to touch, burning through her. It has always been like this. When Grams had first mentioned his name all those years ago, she’d felt the smallest of pulls, a jolt of curiosity. A tug she couldn’t explain. And everytime she thought his name, every time she heard another whisper of the night terrors he created, the tug to search him out grew stronger.

She’d deliberately chosen to look for those horrors once, hoping the truth of his nature would terrify her into running away. Instead, the monster that she had cultivated since she was seventeen and covered in her mother’s blood had approved. The more she learned, the more she wanted to know.

It was why she’d helped Bonnie disappear. Whatever happened between her and Klaus, she was determined to protect her friends from the fall out of it. But she was not the only Fae who hunted for information about Klaus, and Bonnie Bennet had helped create his hybrids.

Her people would destroy Bonnie, if they learned that truth. That a witch from Qetsiyah’s line had once again worked great magic against them would light the fires of their impotent rage for a long, long time. As long as Klaus and his hybrids roamed the earth, it made their chances of winning a war that much harder.

Fae magic was powerful, but given forced limitations by the rules they had to follow. Klaus and his creations were bound by no such things. And they were swallowing the world.

It had been nearly five years since the first hint of a hybrid returning to the US since New Orleans had raced through the Supernatural community. Over the decades, the US communities had watched from a distance as Klaus had bent Europe to his will, his creations breaking across city after city like a wave, choking out any dissent in their paths.

London, Paris, Milan. They all fell at Klaus’ feet with little more than a whimper.

The first real sign of his return had been when he turned New Orleans into a witches' graveyard, and then his gaze had turned to Chicago. Her father was no fool, he had to have known that Klaus had made this city the seat of his power in the States. Bill was far too cunning to risk catching Klaus’ attention unless he had a plan, and not knowing the exact details of what that plan was worried her.

Though she could guess part of it.

A sharp whistle cut through the air, and Caroline’s gaze cut along the rigid angles and sharply jutting corners of the builders around her, but she maintained her hiding place. She had no intention of being flushed out of cover like a bird they intended to net but she needed to come up with a plan.

Glancing at her watch, she grimaced.

It was nearly two in the morning.

If her father had chosen to call a Wild Hunt, she had roughly sixty minutes until the witching hour of three A.M. struck, and the Hunt was let loose. The blood tie to her father might have eroded to the point that he could no longer use it to force her obedience, but they had never managed to break it entirely. Fae magic was tricky. Blood ties more so. Instead, Bonnie had done her best to cloud it, to thin the connection to a single, potent thread.

A Wild Hunt would cut through the witch magic hiding her and return her to her father. Caroline was certain the only reason Bill hadn’t tried to do such a thing before was because of the cost. Calling a Hunt took a great deal of personal power. She would only have one shot of slipping away, and the risk of being caught by her father’s soldiers was dangerously high.

 Klaus was in Chicago.

Her fingers clenched, and Caroline put her phone away. She wouldn’t risk Bonnie or Enzo by going to Klaus, not yet. Not with Tyler’s blood fresh on her hands. But that didn’t mean she still couldn’t use his presence in the city to her advantage. In a game of half-breeds, it always came down to who was the better gambler.

Supernatural cities always had seedy vampire nightclubs and supernatural friendly bars littered throughout. When Klaus had taken over Chicago, he had commandeered several for his own use. But there was one club in particular that she’d pinned down as potentially being part of his stomping grounds; the number of bodies that were secretly removed from the club gave credence to her theory, though she supposed it could just be a place that attracted excess stupidity.

If she was going to have a chance tonight, she needed to go into that club and stay just long enough to let the scent of mingling supernaturals hide her trail so she could slip away undetected and find a place she could hide from the magic seeking her. If she was lucky, Klaus’ potential presence would act as a deterrent.

It was a risk.

Not only because she needed to keep her own blood-lust in check, but because she had never before let herself venture close enough to Klaus to risk catching a single glimpse of him. She was magically exhausted and wounded, the slow crawl of thirst thick in her throat, and her bones ached with the insistent need that made no logical sense.

She would have to be so very careful. Still, for now, her glamour was holding. Setting her teeth, Caroline turned and headed to the heartbeat of the city. Tonight, she’d find a way to live and tomorrow she’d call Bonnie and they’d work out a plan for her to escape. And she’d have to do it without indulging in a curiosity that had no name but was a pulse in her blood.

The rest is here: A03

(I’ll add the link to FFN once I get it posted.)

[tickle-bugs]

Rumor Has It

Summary: In the process of rediscovering her powers, Allison gets a tad carried away. Thankfully, her siblings are there to keep her in check.

Okay this is so self-indulgent but I’ve been wanting to write a fic about Allison’s powers for forever and I never got around to it. Don’t think too hard about the timeline on this one, I was going to end it with the dinner and then I realized I didn’t want to. Also, Lila is here because I love her. 

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 AHEAD!!

Allison could confidently say she was the most patient of the Hargreeves siblings. With the boys, there was no contest—they were all volatile loose cannons with something to prove—and even Ben had fallen prey to the excess testosterone. Years of following Klaus around had brought back out Ben’s snarky side, which he had all-but-smothered in his younger years. A wise person would argue Vanya was patient, and their argument would have merit, but Vanya wasn’t so much patient as she was used to being forcibly subdued. She was kind and sweet, but she would never wait for anything again. She simply acted now. Allison could appreciate the sentiment, but that wasn’t how she operated—no matter how badly she wanted to. 

She was always the moderator—the only one who could reign in six other unruly supers without losing a limb. So, when Reginald invited the seven of them to dinner, she had to call upon every ounce of her patience to keep from strangling one or all of them. 

“I still say we kill him.” Diego stabbed a mango in the fruit bowl and pulled it towards himself. He started carefully peeling the skin, leaving the shavings in a little pile next to his plate. 

“That solves nothing.” Allison sighed.

“It saves the president. I’d call that solving something.” Diego didn’t look up at her, but the aggressive way he sliced a huge chunk of skin off of the mango almost felt personal. 

“I agree with Diego. I think it’d be fun.” Lila pulled Diego’s arm towards her so she could take a bite of the mango. He glared at her and she tweaked his nose, taking another large bite just to piss him off. 

“See?” Diego gestured at Lila.

“No one is killing Dad. Let’s hear what he has to say, then we can figure out a plan.” Allison folded her hands on the table, relieved when everyone else seemed to be in agreement.  Klaus handed her a tiki cup and she took a grateful sip. It’d been a while since she’d had a good piña colada.

“Why? This whole thing could be over so quickly!” 

“Yes, it could, but it won’t be.” She gave him one of her patented fake smiles, taking a pointed sip of her colada. 

“Why? Because you’re in charge? Because you’ve got this under control?” Diego scoffed. He offered Lila a piece of his mango before she could steal another bite. 

“Oh boy, here we go.” Luther muttered.

“Do you want a drink? No? Well, I do. I’m gonna go get a drink.” Klaus stood and stumbled over to the bar, taking his second margarita of the night with him. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She crossed her arms.

“What authority do you really have, Allison?”

“I would say her powers are a pretty good authority. Plus, Allison’s a good leader.” Vanya piped up, smiling softly at her. Allison gave her hand a quick squeeze.

“Team Zero has no leaders. That’s the whole point.” 

“Kinda hard to be Team Zero when you still want to be number one.” Five took an apple from the fruit bowl and took an innocent bite. Diego pushed his chair out, knife in hand, twirling it between his fingers.

“Diego, sit down! Now.” Allison didn’t stand. She wouldn’t sink to his level. Or, rise, rather.

“Make me.” Diego fixed Allison with a withering stare, but it paled in comparison to the one she gave him. In fact, she relished in the way he shivered when he met her eyes. Good. He should remember his place.

“Diego-” Luther tried, but one glare shut him down.

“Shut up. Allison, you want me to sit and behave? Make me.”

“Come on. Don’t do this,” Vanya whispered, trying to grab Diego’s knife hand. He simply flicked the knife behind his back and into his other hand. For a moment, it looked like Vanya’s pleading eyes would work, but Five chuckled and sealed the deal.

“Dinner and a show! Predictable as always.” Five folded his hands beneath his chin and stole a generous sip of Vanya’s cocktail.

“Shut up, twerp!” Diego pointed at him with the knife.

“Or else what? You’ll stab me?” Five was grinning now, goading Diego on purpose. 

“Five!” Allison growled, and he rolled his eyes, falling quiet. At least he knew not to test her.

“Keep talking. Let’s find out.” Diego flipped the knife once, then twice, and each time it stayed in the air just a little too long. 

“I’ve got ten bucks on Diego,” Lila said, kicking her feet up on the table. She took the liberty of finishing his mango for him, peeling away little bits of skin with her messy nails.

“Guys, stop it!” Vanya latched onto Diego’s arm, trying to force him down into his seat. He pulled away and she ended up jabbing his side. He flinched and glared at her, but did not budge. Allison’s lips quirked into a momentary smile.

“Allison,” Vanya said quietly, gesturing at the brewing fight. Allison rolled her eyes and threw up her hands. 

“Okay! Just remember you asked for this!” Allison smirked, and the room suddenly felt a bit colder. She could feel everyone’s attention on her, but she had Diego’s eyes, and that was all she needed.

“I heard a rumor that you started tickling yourself.” Allison’s voice echoed through the room, the sound waves capturing her brother. Just before his eyes turned white, she could see the look of minute panic, that look of ‘oh shit’ that he always made before being put in his place. Allison smiled, curled her tongue against her teeth, and dropped the winning blow.

“Coochie coo, Diego.” She couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out on the end of her sentence. Diego’s hands raised towards his body as if they didn’t belong to him, fingers wiggling in that way that had always ruined him as a kid—slow, methodical, and teasing. Both hands dug into his sides, just below his ribs, and he yelped, quickly consumed by his own high-pitched laughter. The sight was strange—90% of Diego was squirming up a storm trying to escape himself, but his arms and hands kept him pinned exactly where Allison wanted him.

“How does that work?” Lila laughed, unable to hide her snickers when Diego squealed. She fluttered her fingers over his neck and was delighted to find that he couldn’t fight back—what with his hands being so busy, and all.

“Her power shuts off the sense of self-awareness in the brain, I think. You can’t tickle yourself normally because the laughter is a panic response. Your brain knows it’s you, so you can’t make yourself laugh, unless you’re ridiculously ticklish, or something. Allison’s power is making Diego’s brain think his hands aren’t his, even though he knows they are. It’s really interesting, actually.” Vanya beamed, unable to resist poking him in the ribs a few times. He threw his head back in his chair and somehow found it in himself to giggle louder when his rumored hands found a home underneath his arms, drawing unbearable shapes and driving him up the wall. Everyone, excluding Diego, turned to stare at Vanya.

“What? I like science.” She shrugged.

“It is...creative, I’ll say.” Five crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, as if he didn’t trust his own hands.

“Yeah, I haven’t heard him laugh like that since we were kids. He still sounds like a kettle.” Klaus chuckled.

“Shut up, Klaus!” Diego squeaked out, tossing his head side to side. He puffed his cheeks out, trying to rein in his laughter, but it only lasted until his left hand hit that spot just above his top rib that made him fully cackle.

“Aww, this is cute.” Lila ruffled his hair, knowing full well she wouldn’t have gotten away with it had Diego not been testing the range of his vocal chords. Lila shot Allison a look she couldn’t quite read—something akin to a thoughtful expression, as if she was taking a mental note—and smiled. 

“Diego? I think your legs could use some attention.” Allison watched with delight as Diego’s hands dove for his thighs. One hand started squeezing while the other wiggled up and down, and the rate at which he plummeted into desperate belly laughter was almost alarming. He twisted off of the chair and onto the floor, eyes screwed shut.

“Allison, stohop!” Diego squealed, absolutely hysterical. Jesus Christ, no one had ever been this ruthless with him before. Her powers were hitting spots he didn’t even know he had, and each fresh discovery sent him into a wave of overwhelming, giggly panic. Every time he tried to take command of his hands, something blocked him, like the wires in his brain weren’t quite connected. 

“Nope! Not until you apologize for being an asshole. And agree to be nice.” 

“I can’t—noho!” He arched his back and drummed his heels on the floor. Watching his own hands wreak havoc on his worst spot set off all kinds of butterflies in his stomach. His hands kept digging in infuriating patterns, completely overwhelming his nervous system with tickly sparks. 

“Sure you can! It’s very easy.” Allison winked at him and he growled, but it dissolved very quickly into giggles.

“You’re all a bunch of children,” Five sighed.

“Five, why don’t you join him?” Allison asked sweetly, stirring her drink with the straw. Five’s look of confusion melted into a brief flicker of white eyes, and soon his cackles mingled with Diego’s rich laughter. He hit the floor much quicker than his brother, but that might’ve had something to do with his borrowed hands flying straight for his knees. Five squealed and kicked his legs, rolling around on the ground as he tried and failed to escape.

Watching Five and Diego writhe, so tangled in their laughter that they couldn’t threaten her if they wanted to, her heart skipped a few beats. Sure, the power was going to her head a bit, but it’s not like her brothers didn’t have it coming.  She was doing a public service. Speaking of public service, Diego was starting to turn an interesting color.

“If I let you go, are you going to be nice tonight? I will embarrass you in front of dad, I don’t even care.”

“Y-Yes! Lemme goho!” 

“Fine.” She waved a hand and Diego went limp. He lifted his hands to his face to muffle the last few giggles trickling from his lips. With some difficulty, he pulled himself to his feet, stumbling back into his chair with an arm wrapped around his torso. Sparing Diego brought a softness in Allison, and she smiled at Five.

“You can let your knees go. I always liked your giggles more anyway.” He disappeared in a flash of blue and reappeared behind her, arms outstretched and ready to strangle, but Allison sighed. He was so...predictable. A creature of unfortunate habit.

“I heard a rumor that you tickled your ribs silly.” 

“Noho!” He hit the ground in seconds, tripping over his own feet as he went. 

“Really?” She turned and arched a brow at him. 

“I hate yohou!”

“You’re lucky I didn’t mention your hands.” She scoffed, then flinched when Five shrieked. One of his hands started going to town on the other, scratching so gently that Allison almost couldn’t believe how loud he was. He squirmed so violently that she was sure he’d’ve punched her if she’d been close enough.

“Oopsie.” She grimaced, biting her lip. 

“Allison, hey.” Vanya smiled, obviously amused, but tilted her head towards the elevator. The up arrow was glowing red and, yeah, it was probably, regrettably, time to stop. 

“You can stop, Five,” She murmured, and he wheezed, scrubbing his palms against his jacket to erase sensation. The feeling of the fibers sliding against his palms sent him into another flurry of giggles as he clenched his fists.

Some cruel, playful itch at the back of Allison’s mind had been thoroughly scratched—so much so that when Diego still took a jab at her for not using her powers, she made him punch himself instead of embarrassing him.

She liked using her powers. The force with which they held her was sometimes scary, but for harmless instances like this? It was what she had been missing growing up. Everyone else got to mess around with their powers, but she was never really allowed to. Being the responsible and patient one meant being the buzzkill in her siblings’ eyes, and buzzkills didn’t often get roped into the intense, multi-floor, super-tickle-fights that had dominated what few happy memories that the Hargreeves had as children.

She started slow with reintroducing her powers, not wanting to overwhelm or scare anyone. She was still trying to get past the look on Patrick’s face when he’d caught her rumouring Claire. Allison knew her siblings would never look at her like that—in fact, they were the only people who ever wanted her to use her powers. She started with simple things: convincing Five to get some rest after refusing to sleep, ending an argument between Luther and Diego that was quickly spiraling out of control—even on Klaus, who would not stop fighting with Ben during the night. That last one wasn’t truly necessary, but the walls were thin and their rooms shared an unfortunate border.

“What color are you thinking?” Klaus dumped his armful of nail polish bottles onto her bed, just barely catching a few before they clattered to the floor. 

“Yellow?” She gingerly picked one from the pile. 

“I love it.” He beamed and took a seat in front of her, unscrewing the cap. The brightness and warmth of the polish made her smile. It was the color of her favorite dress from the decade they’d left behind—the dress that Raymond had always loved. Klaus took her foot and laid it on his leg, sticking his tongue out to concentrate.

Someone softly cleared their throat and the two of them looked up to see Vanya hovering in the doorway. Allison smiled and waved her in, and she plopped on the ground next to Klaus. Vanya leaned over to watch Klaus work.

“You like the color?” Allison asked. Things between them were still fragile. 

“It’s lovely. Sissy’s favorite, actually.” Vanya smiled softly, fiddling with her shirt sleeves a bit, and Allison knew things were okay, for the time being. 

Three pairs of stomping footsteps echoed down the hall and Allison looked up, catching her brothers lingering in the doorway, though seemingly not on purpose. Luther and Five had cornered a brooding Diego who looked like he was a few seconds away from impaling one or both of them. 

“Diego, quit being such a grouch.” Luther shoved his shoulder lightly.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Diego grumbled, arms crossed.

C’mon man, it’s been days. No one likes when you sulk around. Just lighten up a little.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Diego held a knife up to Luther’s throat.

“Five, a little help here?”

“Oh, I don’t care.” Five stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled.

“Diego. Dude.” Luther shook Diego’s shoulder again and he growled, grabbing Luther’s meaty hand and wrenching it backwards.

“I heard a rumor that Luther and Five tickled you until you admit defeat,” Allison piped up, giggling at the look of absolute betrayal on Diego’s face. Five cackled of his own volition, happy as a clam to have a reason to torment his brother.

“Allison, no!” He bolted, Five and Luther hot on his heels.

“Have fun!” She called after them.

“That was mean.” Klaus chided, wiggling his fingers over her sole. She squeaked and tried to pull away, but his grip was tight on her ankle.

“Klaus! I’m gonna mess up the polish!” She whined around a giggle, hiding her face in her hands.

“No you won’t. Just stay still.” Klaus chuckled, continuing to apply the polish with one hand. With the other, he kept scratching gently 

“Yeah, Allison, just stay still.” Vanya took hold of Allison’s ankle and fluttered along her arch, taking note of which spots made her curl in on herself and paying them extra attention. 

It was then that Allison decided they were no longer exempt from her wrath. Everyone was fair game now. Though, maybe she could show them a little mercy, since they definitely could be a lot meaner.

They only stopped once they made her squeal—Klaus scratched his nail repeatedly over her big toe until she nearly fell on the floor—and even after, they wouldn't stop teasing her about the noise she’d made. She filed away her large-scale revenge plan and settled for tickling them both once Klaus had finished her nails. 

There was a lesson in quitting while you’re ahead, but, pinned to the couch and screaming, Allison was starting to think it had gone over her head.

It had started with Lila throwing a movie night—her way of apologizing for, well, everything without having to say the words. Lila had set up a sort of nest situation with pillows and blankets, allowing the siblings to choose their seats freely. Allison and Vanya snuggled on one end of the couch while Luther claimed the other, and the rest of them piled on one another in front of the couch. Lila laid with her head in Diego’s lap, and Klaus and Five were cozy next to them. They hadn’t existed this way in years. It would’ve been nice, had the tension not been so thick.

All of them were almost afraid to relax, as if they’d all simultaneously remembered how long it’d been since they’d properly been together as a family. Five looked like he would explode if anyone touched him, Diego was far too occupied with his box of Thin Mints, and Klaus’s knee was shaking far too much not to be distracting to everyone present. 

A smile tugged at her lips. If any situation called for an intervention, it was this one. Possibly even more than her previous abuses of power. 

“They need to lighten up, don’t you think?” Allison murmured, stealing a pretzel from the bag Vanya was holding.

“They are a bit..tense.” Vanya chuckled. Allison took the pretzels and set them safely aside before gesturing for her to lean close.

“I heard a rumor that you started messing with Klaus,” Allison whispered, munching on another pretzel. Vanya fixed her with a ‘really?’ face and she shrugged in apology. Vanya started nudging Klaus with her foot, waiting just long enough between gentle shoves that it was annoying. After about the eighth time, Klaus whirled around and grabbed Vanya’s ankle, skittering his fingers up her leg.

“Vanya!” He gasped in mock offense, spidering his nails in random circles. Vanya simply slid down the couch cushion like a pile of jello, the fight already drained from her body. Allison had been hoping for a more explosive reaction, but this would do as a start. She leaned forward and put a hand on Diego’s shoulder. 

“I heard a rumor that you started a proper tickle fight.” She finished the command with a quick flutter at the back of his neck. Diego snatched her hand and yanked her forwards, using the change in momentum to grab her foot and go to town. She snorted and shoved at the back of his head, anything to get him to let go.

“Not with me! Nevermind, I heard a rumor you stole Five’s marshmallows.” She shoved him off of her and grinned when he immediately lunged for them. In that moment, Five was indistinguishable from a feral racoon as he dove for the treats. Lila managed to roll out of the way just before she was crushed.

“Give them back!” He screeched, reaching for the bag just out of his grip. Diego took advantage of his long arms and stretched as far away as possible.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Diego dropped a marshmallow into his mouth, making direct eye contact as he chewed and swallowed. Five trembled with rage.

“You’re dead.” He pounced onto Diego who yelped before dissolving into frantic giggles, arms flailing about as he tried to dislodge Five. He squirmed right into Klaus, who took hold of his legs and dug in wherever he could reach. Vanya made a game of poking Diego’s stomach as many times as possible while dodging his hands. She could see the moment where her rumor dissolved, the four of them effortlessly carrying on the playfulness without aid.

Allison snuck a glance at Luther. He was still crushed into his corner of the couch, looking unbelievably uncomfortable but at least amused at the struggle going on beneath him. He deserved to smile as much as them.

“I heard a rumor-”

“That you were wildly ticklish, all over,” Lila said from behind her, and holy shit, when did she get there? Lila poked her side and a bright giggle bubbled out from her lips before she could stop it. Dread and anticipation tangled in her stomach. She’d never been that sensitive there before.

Uh oh.

“Lila, we can talk about this.” Allison raised her hands in surrender as Lila vaulted over the couch, straddling her before she could escape.

“That’s the problem, Allison. You’re still talking, not laughing.” Lila kneaded her thumbs into the sides of Allison’s stomach and she squealed, trying her damndest to grab the offending hands.��

This was uncharted territory for her. She was used to teasy hands grabbing her neck or for roughhousing to turn into a mad grab for her feet. She knew exactly what it would feel like every time. This was technically the same, but radically different. Her body just didn’t know what to do. It was like being tickled for the first time ever, before her body knew what was going on. Every single part of her was sending up flares of tickly panic as she squirmed underneath Lila.

When someone—Klaus, judging by the cold shock of a few rings—grabbed hold of her feet, it dawned on her how what she’d put Diego through might’ve been a little mean.

“Lehet goho!” 

“Hey, Allison? I think your legs could use some attention,” Diego said in an annoying mockery of her voice, but she was far too indisposed to reprimand him for it.

“I-” She started to plead, but verbal communication flew out the window entirely when Vanya started tickling lightly under her chin and down the column of her throat. It was so gentle and clearly loving, but the contrast between Vanya and the fiends going to town on the rest of her body only doubled her desperation to get away.

Diego hooked his fingers behind Allison’s knee and she nearly launched Lila across the room with how hard she thrashed. Her nervous system whited out for a minute as she squealed louder, doing everything she could to wrench her feet from Klaus’s grasp so she could kick Diego in the face.

“No! Stohop!” Great, she was snorting now. 

“Uh-oh! Bad spot?” Klaus drawled, scribbling over her feet. Lila wormed her fingers into the crevices of Allison’s ribs, making sure to pinch and prod every so often, just to draw out little squeaks and hiccups. Diego found a spot on the side of her thigh where if he wiggled his fingers, Allison’s giggles would turn wheezy, and he was having far too much fun with it.

“Ihit tihickles!”

“Does it? Are you sure?” Lila vibrated a claw into Allison’s stomach and she threw her head back into the couch with a loud cackle. That was definitely new. Vanya giggled somewhere above her, dragging her fingers over the shells of her ears.

“Yes, oh my god-” She clamped her elbows to her sides when Lila tried to sneak her hands under her arms. Her brain sent out about fifty warning signals, essentially begging her not to let this happen, and while she had no clue where the knowledge had come from, she wasn’t about to question it.

“Alright, I’m sorry!” She tried to curl around Lila’s hands but that only made things worse.

“Damn straight.” Diego scoffed, (surprisingly) the first to let her go. After a few other quick pokes, the others released her, watching as she heaved in sweet oxygen. Every inch of her body was fizzling as she came down from her laughter. She covered her face, hiding her recovery, until two very mean hands darted into her exposed armpits. Allison bucked up hard, loud and bright laughter overcoming her as she thrashed on the couch. A few seconds felt like hours, and when Lila finally did stop, Allison wheezed before mustering the energy to glare.

“Lila!”

“Sorry! I just wanted to see what would happen.” She smiled, sheepish, but not at all apologetic.

“I hope I didn’t ruin movie night,” Allison murmured, looking up and around at her siblings. 

“Au contraire! I think you made movie night. Everyone, grab your snacks. I want to see this kid fuck up some robbers.” Klaus started the movie without waiting for the others, earning groans of annoyance and panicked scrambling as everyone tried to find their seats. Lila stayed on the couch, pulling Allison’s legs across her lap, while Vanya adjusted so Allison’s head would be more comfy. Klaus laid across Diego’s back and Five propped his legs on top of them, popping marshmallows in his mouth like popcorn. 

A success, if ever there was one.

[spookyfbi]

Untitled, Unfinished Commission Dave fic

This premise wouldn’t leave me alone but I have NO idea where to go with it so I offer this up to the void with no strings attached if anyone wants to take it and run with it, because I’d sure love to read more! Hit me up if you want to chat about it, or don’t, up to you. If you want to change anything here, feel free. Honestly I just had to get this idea out of my head and onto digital paper and now I have, whatever happens next is just gravy!

———

1963

Dave looked around his bedroom as he lay on his bed. It wouldn’t be his bedroom for very much longer, soon he’d be shipping out. Dave wasn’t really sure how he felt about joining the army, but he supposed it was about time he did something, so it might as well be this. He wasn’t a coward, he wasn’t a… well, he wasn’t a coward. He was willing to die for his country if that’s what it took. It was the right thing to do… wasn’t it?

Dave’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. He grinned when he saw who it was and, quick as a flash, he jumped up and raced to hug his sister.

“Liz!” he exclaimed, then he leaned back from the hug and looked her up and down. “Wow, you sure look fancy!” She looked about as elegant as Audrey Hepburn. “How’s New York treating you?’

“New York is amazing!” Liz gushed. “It really makes Dallas feel like a drag.”

“I’ll bet.” Dave sat down on his bed, while Liz took a seat on his old toy chest.

“I just got a lecturing from Uncle Brian.” Liz rolled her eyes and Dave pursed his lips sympathetically. “You’re never gonna find a husband if you keep being so high and mighty about this career of yours.” She repeated their uncle’s words mockingly. “Like I’d want to marry a man who’s intimidated by my success. I’d rather be a spinster! The right guy should be proud of me for my accomplishments.”

“Well, I’m sure proud of you!” Dave told her. “My sister living the high life in New York City!”

Liz beamed. “Thanks, Dave! I knew there were enlightened men in the world.”

“It’s really good to see you, Liz. It’s good to be reminded that Uncle Brian’s opinions aren’t the only ones out there.”

The mood in the room shifted and after a moment, Liz said: “He told me you enlisted in the army.” There was no pride in her voice, the way there was whenever Uncle Brian talked about his decision, and it made Dave feel even less certain about it. 

Dave nodded, but he found himself unable to look her in the eyes. She looked at him and said nothing and after a while Dave found the silence deafening so he filled it with what little he had of an explanation. “You heard about the President? Uncle Brian said it’s gonna make America look weak. He said the Commies might invade and the army will need every man they can get.”

Liz shook her head. “You’re so young…”

“I’m eighteen!” Dave shot back. “I’m an adult!”

Liz got up and sat beside him. “I just meant that you’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. I don’t want to see you dying a young man in some war. I want you to fall in love and get married and have kids and live a long life.”

Dave raised an eyebrow at her. “The same life Uncle Brian wants for you?”

“Or find a career that you love, or travel the world, or… whatever makes you happy, Dave. And the army isn’t it, is it?”

Dave looked at Liz, knowing she could tell how unhappy he was with this decision. He collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh. Liz lay down next to him and he was suddenly reminded of their first night at Uncle Brian’s house after their parents had died, when he’d crawled into her bed because he was scared and she’d told him not to worry because she’d always look out for him. “I can’t stay here.” He said softly, and for all his talk of heroism and the right thing, deep down he knew that was the real reason he’d enlisted.

Liz hummed in agreement, then she nudged him with her elbow. “Why don’t you come stay with me!”

“What?”

“Yeah!” Liz sat up, her eyes sparking with excitement. “I could probably pull a few strings and get you a position with my company. They’re always looking for new recruits. You’d probably have to start at the bottom but it’d be better than the army.”

“I don’t know…” Dave said cautiously. “If I back out now after enlisting, Uncle Brian’s for sure gonna think I’m a coward. Or worse… And I’m not a coward!”

“Who cares what Uncle Brian thinks? You never have to see him again if you don’t want to. Why do you think I haven’t been here in 5 years?”

Dave considered for a moment. Then he sat up. “What exactly does your company do anyhow?”

Liz turned to face him. “Okay, this is gonna sound real batty. The company I work for is called The Commission.”

———

Somewhere outside of Time and Space, 11 years later

…Dave? Dave!

…Medic!

…Stay with me, Dave! Stay with me!

Dave bolted upright. Klaus’ cries ringing in his ears, the sharp pain in his chest, the blood… He was panting and sweaty and confused. The memories felt distant. Where was he?

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty!”

Dave looked at Liz, sitting in a chair next to the… hospital bed? “I was shot.” Dave touched his chest where he was sure he’d felt searing pain only moments ago. There was no wound.

“Yeah, and I had to call in a shitload of favours to get you all patched up.”

Dave lay back down on the hospital bed. So he had been shot, but the Commission had saved him. Liz had saved him. She looked pissed. He took her hand in his own. “You’re the best.” He gave her the most charming smile he could muster. “I love you.”

Liz withdrew her hand and rolled her eyes. “What the hell happened, Dave? You were in Vietnam for 10 months! Did you get your mark?”

“Yeah, I got my mark!” Dave replied indignantly. Of course he got his mark, he always did. Like a good soldier.

“So what happened?”

Dave closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t want to work for the Commission anymore, Liz. You know I never wanted this, I only joined so I could avoid the army. But how is this any different?”

Liz looked at him for a moment, her expression softening. “It’s not that simple. You weren’t shot by an enemy soldier. It was the Commission.”

“What?!”

“You should’ve told me, Dave. I could’ve talked to my bosses and we could’ve worked something out. The way you handled it, it just looks like you abandoned your mission.”

Dave sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t plan this.” Liz didn’t respond, just looked at him expectantly. “I met someone. He’s another agent, at least I think so. We didn’t talk about it, I don’t know why. But he had a briefcase. I think maybe it was his first mission or something. He looked so scared and confused so I stayed for a bit to help him adjust to the time period. I swear that’s all I meant to do at first… Every day I kept telling myself I’d go back to HQ tomorrow, but…” Dave felt one of the corners of his mouth pinch into a smile. “I really liked spending time with him.” He looked at Liz and shrugged wistfully. “I fell in love with him. And before I knew it we were making plans to get an apartment together in San Francisco once our 12 months in Vietnam were up and Liz, I’ve never wanted anything in my life more than I want to live in that apartment with him, or anywhere with him.” Suddenly Dave remembered. The blood, the pain in his chest, the panicked cry. Medic! Dave! Stay with me! He scrunched his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh god… He probably still thinks I’m dead.” He looked back at Liz frantically as he started to sit back up. “I have to find him, I have to let him know him I’m alive!”

Liz put a hand to his chest. “Slow down, Romeo. Look, I don’t think you realise how serious this situation is. They wanted you dead, they still do. You need to lay low until this thing blows over. Do a few more missions, show them you’re willing to toe the line, and then when you’re back in their good graces we can talk about you leaving to go find this Sweetheart of yours, okay?”

Dave sighed reluctantly. He wouldn’t even know where to begin looking for Klaus anyway. “Fine, but then you’ll get me some time with the Infinite Switchboard and help me find him, right?”

“I’ll do what I can.” Liz said with a tiny smile. “I gotta meet this guy who finally lit a fire under your ass.” Dave grinned and then Liz handed him a canister. “Your first mission, and it’s a doozy. There’s six on that list. I think they’re a family though, so shouldn’t be too hard. Hopefully they’ll all be in the same place.”

Dave felt sick as he unscrewed the lid. “There’d better not be kids on this list.”

“If there are, you’ll do as you’re told.” Liz said firmly.

Dave ignored her and looked at the order he withdrew from the canister. His blood turned to ice when he read the order.

TERMINATE LUTHER HARGREEVES DIEGO HARGREEVES ALLISON HARGREEVES KLAUS HARGREEVES NUMBER FIVE VANYA HARGREEVES

Terminate. Klaus Hargreeves. Klaus must be in the same trouble Dave was for going off mission, only he didn’t have a sister in the Commission to bail him out. Dave didn’t know who the other names on the list were. Klaus didn’t talk much about his family, and Dave knew what it was like to be on less than stellar terms with a family member so he hadn’t asked. He looked desperately at Liz. “Klaus Hargreeves.” he said, showing her the order. “That’s him.”

Liz glanced at the order and then closed her eyes, letting her head fall into her hand and massaging her temple with a sigh. Dave searched her face for any indication that she had a way to fix the situation. Finally, she looked at him and spoke with an eerie calmness. “Dave, if you don’t kill everyone on that list, the Commission will kill you, and I won’t be able to save you this time.”

“Liz, I can’t!”

“Yes you can.”

“I won’t.”

Liz looked at Dave for a moment, and he couldn’t read her expression. She took the order from him and cupped his cheek. “Okay. I’ll fix this, don’t worry.” 

Liz stood up and started to leave and for the first time in his life, Dave was afraid of his sister. He knew she was ruthless. He also knew she would do anything to protect him. And that was exactly the problem, because apparently it was either Klaus or Dave. Dave knew who he would choose. And he also knew who Liz would choose. Dave leapt out of the hospital bed and put himself in her path. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to fix it.” She said, and it would sound so innocent if Dave didn’t know her better.

Dave’s mind raced. If she really had a way to fix this without Klaus being harmed she’d tell him. He knew exactly what she was going to do and he could only think of one thing he could say to get her to back down. “No, I’ll fix it.” He said, taking the order back from her. He walked around her back towards the bed and faced away from her because he wasn’t sure if he was a good enough liar to pull this off if she saw his face. “I got carried away. It was exciting, being with someone, but I’m not gonna die for this guy. I’ll get back into the Commission’s good graces, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He still didn’t turn around, but Liz came to him, and he knew it would be suspicious if he avoided her now so he looked at her.

“Alright.” She agreed. “But if you bail on this mission I will finish it for you. I’ll always look out for you, Dave.”

Dave nodded, remembering a time long ago when the though had made him fee safe and loved.

———

2019, the next day

Dave looked around the alley that the briefcase had landed him in. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected to land in 1968, but this place was much more modern. He started walking aimlessly trying to get his bearings, then he stopped at a phone booth. He took out the phone book from the shelf underneath and opened it to H. “Hargreeves, Hargreeves, Hargreeves…” he muttered as he searched.

Hargreeme, Olga Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves, Vanya Hargref, Kenny

No ‘Hargreeves, Klaus’ or even ‘Hargreeves, K’. Damn. Dave looked at the Commission order again. Vanya Hargreeves was the last name on the order, and it seemed the only one of these listed in the phone book. If they really were a family, perhaps this Vanya Hargreeves would know where he could find Klaus. Having nothing else to go on, Dave tore out the page and folded it up. Now, he just needed a map.

———

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent); i

Chapter One - But do we really have to?

rating: its a gen fic for The Umbrella Academy

words:6.7k

chapter:1/10

warnings: nothing atypical for the umbrella academy

AO3

a/n: I blame @sam-writes​ for pretty much all of this!

Summary: In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

The young women gasped in pain. Her stomach hurt so much. She didn’t know what was happening and her new husband wasn’t around to help her. She started bleeding and her stomach ballooned outward. She lay back on the bed, her stomach bulging out in a massive dome, while the blood continued to seep out of her. She could do nothing but cry as she felt the urge to push.

Hours later, with an outraged and confused husband in tow, she looked up from her new daughter when she heard the knocking on the door. She had a bad feeling about it.

Only 30 minutes later, the eccentric man left with her daughter. She had just sold her daughter away.

She started to cry again.

*

Charlie sighed as she locked her doors. Another good day on the books. She was glad that Mr. Johnston had stopped by again - she always liked to hear from her regulars and she was glad his mother was doing better from her hip surgery. She had had a small group of young teenagers - Sam, Lena, Jonathan, Rachel, and Georgie - come through today and grab some fruit and camp out in her side room to work on their homework. She had wandered through occasionally offering help but receiving it more often than not. She could now say she knew what the mitochondria was and that apparently it was the powerhouse of the cell. Cause apparently that was a thing.

Thanks, dad for all that stellar education you gave us.

She continued her walk through the downstairs, absentmindedly picking up Knickknack - a stray that she’s pretty sure she can’t actually classify as a stray anymore - to check up on her plants. She was encouraging them to grow bigger, to grow stronger, removing the death within them, giving them nutrients. This was truly the best part of her day. To sink herself into the Green, the living, the growth. To let herself feel the Life thrumming through the plants, through them even deeper into the Earth, and the people, and the animals.

For all the grief that these powers had given her - a father that never loved her, siblings who now hated her, missions that almost destroyed her - she couldn’t bring herself to ever hate them, not the powers, not the Green, themselves.

Not with all the good they gave her, the good she could give to other people because of them.

As she was working, the TV caught her eye. She dropped her watering can.

Billionaire Reginald Hargreeves Dead.

She couldn’t breathe. Was it actually possible that he was dead? She moved closer to the TV, reading the subtitles. She couldn’t contain her grin if she tried - which she didn’t.

Ding dong - the wicked witch was dead.

Charlie was walking. Whenever she had to come in this direction, she walked. She didn’t want to give those men any more power over her than she already had.

Now that Allison and Luther were back in New York, she knew that the funeral was going to happen today. None of them were all that comfortable staying in close quarters for all that long. They’d get the funeral done as quickly as they could so they'd be able to disperse across the country again. She’d say they only see each other for funerals and weddings but Allison was the only one married - to her knowledge anyway - and none of them had been invited to her wedding. So they really only saw each other for funerals, apparently.

And as much as she didn’t want to be back in that house, among siblings that hated her, she did want to see Mom and Pogo again.

Also, she felt if she didn’t go, then she’d always wonder if the bastard was actually dead.

She slowed down when she saw that she was getting closer to the academy. She really didn’t want to get there too early and have to deal with the entire family for longer than she had too. Not anymore.

All too soon, however, she made her way home.

bleh. Too nice of a thought to have for that place.

She crept into the house and made her way into the upstairs library’s balcony. She planned to stay there until the last possible second and they could get the whole farce over with.

Laying in the upstairs library, Charlie had a front-row seat to the comings of her siblings. She had gotten here early (too early honestly) and planted herself in a dark corner then just didn’t move. At all. She had spent her teenage years learning the best way to go unnoticed amongst a group of people that spent their life in the spot life or had the utmost wish to do so. Her? She had no wish for more cameras, more attention, than what was needed.

Luther was the first. He had come down the main stairs soon after she had arrived so Charlie guessed that he was actually staying here and had arrived before she had. Diego stomped in just before lunch and immediately made his way to the kitchen (and Mom, based on what she could smell coming from the kitchen) so she had 3 guesses to what he would spend the day doing but she only needed 1 of them. Allison swanned in just after lunch and she was seen up and down the hallways. Klaus pranced in and went off on a scavenger hunt, so Charlie guessed he was looking for something to pawn for his next hit. Vanya had crept in the middle of the afternoon and Charlie could see that had set off some sparks. Allison seemed to like her presence well enough but Charlie didn’t need her hearing to know that Diego went for the soft spots when they actually interacted.

Luckily her hiding spot was good and she didn’t actually have to interact with any of them yet. She wondered how long it would take them to notice. She wondered if they would. Or if they would even care.

She finally moved from her hidden corner and laid out on a couch so as to announce her presence whenever her siblings deigned to come back to the library.

She made sure she stayed away from the area where she was injured. She wasn’t going to test fate. She also made sure that she could see all the seats in the area well enough. Most of her charade counted on her being able to read lips and guess what was happening.

As she settled down on her chosen chaise, she watched as Vanya wandered in from the atrium. Vanya glanced at her but then proceeded to ignore her as she? apparently searched out and found her book. As Pogo made his way into the room and engaged Vanya in a conversation - one centered on the book and dad’s indifference - Charlie switched her attention to Five’s weird-ass portrait.

Which was just hilarious because like hell Reggie actually cared about any of his child soldiers. Charlie always thought that he had placed that portrait (and eventually, Ben’s statue) to remind them of the ‘failures’ of the family. She didn’t believe for a second that Reggie had actually brought himself to care about any of them let alone the one he couldn’t control or the one he couldn’t stand.

“16 years, 4 months, and 14 days.”

So the subject was Five? She wasn’t really surprised - before he disappeared, Five and Vanya were almost always in each other's pockets. Her siblings had really paired off when they were young - One and Three, Two and Mom, Four and Six, and Five and Seven. She had floated between the pairs whenever she wanted really - she was well-liked between all her siblings. She always thought it was because it was hard to hate the person who kept you fed when Dad was being a dick. Charlie had tried to actually connect with any of her siblings, to form better closer relationships between them - more than what they had actually wanted to have, apparently. And when Five did disappear, she tried to be there for Vanya. She joined her during their scheduled free time, she taught herself some musical terms so she could talk to her about her violin lessons, she reached her hand out again and again. But Vanya didn’t seem all that interested in reaching back. And while she kept trying, Vanya seemed less interested as time went on.

And then her book, Extra-Ordinary, came out and apparently Vanya thought Charlie had been mocking her the entire time. She couldn’t see that Charlie, allegedly the popular sibling, was just trying to be her sister. No - Charlie was just making fun of her for missing her best friend.

*

“Where’s the cash, dad?”

Allison was jerked from her memories of standing here 17 years ago, wanting her dad to finally just acknowledge them for even something as little as a goodnight, by Klaus. She strode over to the ridiculous deck that dominated the room and peered at Klaus pawing through Dad’s drawers.

“Where’s the cash?”

“Klaus? What are you doing in here?”

“Oh! Allison! Wow, is that you?”

Allison could only smile as she looked at Klaus. He was, as always, one of a kind. She knew that he was only trying to get cash for his addiction but she was still charmed by him.

“Hey, come here. Long time. Too long. Hey, I was hoping to see you, actually, because I wanted to get your autograph. Add it to my collection!”

Despite the fact Klaus was mocking dad and the fact that he was dead, Allison was still smiling. She was just glad that she decided to come home. With everything that was happening with Patrick and Claire, she hadn’t been sure it was the right decision but she was enjoying herself. And with everything that was happening in LA, she knew that she wanted to reach out to her family. She wanted to be close to Luther again, her best friend, like when they were kids. She wanted her brothers - the entirety of them, Diego in his weird leather BDSM gear and Klaus with his unique fashion sense and drug habits. She really wanted her sisters back as well. Loving, caring Charlie and sweet, gentle Vanya. Charlie who had tried so hard to love all her siblings. Vanya who just wanted to be seen and known by them. Allison wished she could go back in time to fix things but she couldn't. She was determined to start now, however. It might be 30 years late but she was going to make positive relationships with her siblings if she had to kill them. And really, based on previous experience, she would have too.

“Get out of his chair.”

Allison stiffened slightly as she heard Luther speak from the doorway. This was going to be the first time she saw him since she left at 18. When she turned to look at him, she was surprised to see him. He was so much larger than he was 10 years ago, almost grotesquely so. But he was still very much her best friend.

As Klaus babbled in a panic at being caught, Allison looked Luther over. He was still the towering figure she remembered but his muscles had grown and bulged in weird spots. He also appeared to have ditched the all-black mission uniforms and even those awful Academy uniforms that dad had made them wear all the time. Instead, he was bundled up in a, frankly, ugly turtleneck, a large overcoat, and fingerless gloves. She wondered if this was normal from before the 4 years spent on the moon or if this was something that had happened because of the moon mission.

Klaus dropped his treasures and made his retreat, and Allison had to laugh. She was really glad she was home.

*

Luther was frustrated but not surprised. Of course, Klaus was trying to steal from Dad. Even on the day of his funeral. Pair that with Diego disregarding his thoughts on why Dad was dead - someone took his monocle and it really meant nothing to anyone outside the family, of course that implied something - and he was tired of dealing with his brothers already. It had been less than an hour - which was on point for them, honestly.

“So, Klaus is still Klaus, in case you were wondering.”

“You know, after all these years, I find it strangely comforting.”

“Did you see Diego?”

“With his stupid outfit?”

“Oh, I know. Do you think he wears that thing in the bathroom?”

“Like in the shower?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, Absolutely!”

As Allison laughed, Luther looked down. He was always happy when he could make her find joy. And it had been too long since they had seen each other in person. He had gone to see each of her movies, she was amazing, but they hadn’t talked since she left a decade ago. And Luther had missed his best friend.

“I-is Charlie here? Have you seen her yet?”

Luther paused in his thoughts about how to keep the conversation going to look up at her.

“Charlie? Why do you want to talk to her? You do remember what she did, right?”

“She did nothing but support our other sister. We snapped and snarled at Charlie because we were angry with Vanya but she wasn’t there for us to do so. Charlie has, since the very beginning, been nothing but kind and loving towards all of us. She wanted nothing more than for us to actually be a family. Instead, we shot her down time and time again.”

“That book was completely awful to all of us!! And she didn’t care!”

“She cared! She cared about what was happening with Vanya that she felt like she had to write that stupid thing! And regardless of all of that - Charlie is still our sister and I want to see her!”

Luther took a deep breath. He had forgotten that, despite the fact that Allison was his best friend, she was still his sibling and that included the ability to completely infuriate him in only a couple of words.

“I haven’t seen her yet. And I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Me either.”

*

The one main downside to the spot she chose was that she couldn’t see the door. On the other hand, with her laying down - people didn’t see her so they generally didn’t try to talk to her before coming in.

Diego was the first in the room. As he came around her couch, he spotted her from the corner of his eye and his hand went automatically to his BDSM gear and the multitude of knives he kept there. It took more than a second for him to release them. Charlie raised a very judgmental eyebrow in his direction. She knew he was still thinking of using one of those things - but against her instead. She dared him to try. He flicked a look up and over her shoulder where she knew the giant ferns, trees, and vines that were placed against the inside wall were growing and moving in the nonexistent wind. He was surrounded by Green things.

Who would be faster?

He scoffed, released his hand, rolled his eyes, and dropped into his chair by the fireplace.

Good. At least with him choosing to ignore her, this wouldn’t progress into a fight like their family meetings usually did.

Vanya was the next into the room and the tension racketed up again.

Klaus was the third into the room and, other than a flippant wave of his Hello hand, ignored them to survey Dad’s very extensive liquor collection. He was kind enough to bring her a whiskey when she peered over at him. Thank God - she would definitely need the alcohol later. And she was glad to see that he was still wearing her keys around his neck. She wasn’t sure if he had ever used them but she was glad that he had kept them, nevertheless.

Allison and Luther finished up the collection, and while it looked like Allison wanted to talk to her, Luther walked her over the seat across from Diego. He took the seat across from Vanya. His sitting down seemed like a call for the official meeting to start. He was always so dramatic.

Despite Luther apparently calling to order the meeting, nobody actually said anything for a solid couple of minutes. They were all just sitting around, pointedly not looking at one another.

“Um...I guess we should probably get this started. So I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at Dad’s favorite spot.”

Of course, it was Luther, the golden boy, who knew that dad had a favorite spot. Nobody else was close enough to that human icebox to know that kind of information.

“Dad had a favorite spot?”

“You know, under the oak tree. We used to sit there all the time. None of you ever did that?”

The rest of us just sort of pursed their lips and avoided looking at Luther. While it sort of wasn’t his fault that Dad was a dick and favored him over them, it still stung something awful to be reminded of that fact.

Fucking Dad

Thankfully Klaus, with his usual spectacular timing, interrupted Luther.

“Will there be refreshments? Tea? Scones? Cucumber sandwiches are always a hit.”

He looked around hopefully. Charlie decided to help him and grew some fruits and nuts near him, making a big cucumber near his seat - kinda mockingly.

He almost flinched away before he shot her a delighted look and picked up a peach.

“Danke Schwester!”

She gave him a thumbs up and turned back to Luther cause she just knew that he was going to have some sort of fit about something that just happened.

“What? No. And put that out. Dad didn’t allow smoking in here. And get rid of the fruit. You know that Dad didn’t allow that sort of thing outside of training.”

She flipped him off and Klaus very pointedly turned around.

“Is that my skirt?” Allison cut off whatever response might have come when she questioned Klaus’ newest fashion choice.

“What? Oh, yeah, this. I found it in your room. It’s a little dated, I know, but very breathy on the bits. ”

Luther proved his place as Number One Ass within the next couple of minutes.

“Listen up. Still, some important things that we need to discuss, all right?”

“Like what?”

“Like the way he died.”

“And here we go.”

“I don’t understand. I thought they said it was a heart attack?”

“Yeah, according to the coroner.”

“Well, wouldn’t they know?”

“Theoretically.”

“Theoretically?”

Charlie had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going.

“I’m just saying, at the very least, something happened. The last time that I talked to Dad, he sounded strange.”

Yeah, her bad feeling about this conversation was correct. She had an idea about where he was going to go with all this lead. By the looks on her siblings’ faces, only really Diego knew where Luther was going with this. Everyone else just looked surprised.

She started to mostly ignore what they were saying. She knew that Luther was implying that one of them had killed Dad because Luther couldn’t rationalize the fact that Dad was, supposedly, human as well. That Dad could die from something just as common as a heart attack, instead of a portal to hell opening up to take him back.

“Look, I know you don’t like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad.”

Everyone looked at Luther in disbelief. They all knew that Klaus was high as fuck. And even if he wasn’t, there was no way he would ever want to summon that monster here.

After Klaus soundly shot down the theory of summoning Dad from his brunch with Mussolini, Stalin, and Hitler, Luther was finally ready to move on to why he suspected them of offing the old bastard.

“Then there’s the issue of the missing monocle.”

“Who gives a shit about a stupid monocle?”

“Exactly. It’s worthless. So whoever took it, I think it was personal. Someone close to him. Someone with a grudge.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Oh, isn’t it obvious, Klaus? He thinks one of us killed Dad.”

And with that, the silence fell. Or so she assumed. The looks on everyone’s faces though. She knew that none of them were extremely sad that he had died, but to have Luther accuse them of killing him? That hurt.

“You do?”

“How could you think that?”

“Great job, Luther. Way to lead.”

And with that, she was up from the couch and headed out of the room. She didn’t really feel like staying near him. For him to think, after everything that he had done, that she would kill Dad?

She knew that she shouldn’t have come here today.

*

As she was walking out to the courtyard, she thought of the first mission they went on. The Capital West bank - 17 years ago. Robbers had taken hostages and were threatening them. Sir had taken them there to deal with the problem. Number Three and her had entered first, Three so she could Rumor someone and her so she could have time to spread some seeds and Grow some plants to have a base to start off from.

As she and Three started wreaking havoc, One dropped in from the glass section of the roof and started throwing some of the robbers around. Two came in from the front and started his work with the knives. Soon she was using her Growth to help shield the hostages while Two, Three, and Four were mocking and messing with the guards near the front desk. Five dropped in with his signature sass and took down those guys.

One was finished with his targets and was searching for some more people. He found them in the vault and she knew it was Six’s turn. He never liked any of the work but he especially hated having to release the Horrors when they could be a target. This isolation of robbers was just the kind of thing Sir would insist on Six handling.

They finished with the robbers in the main room and she and Two released the hostages while One and Four prompted Six to finish off the people in the vault. She hoped he hurried. She was growing weary and needed some sun and sugar to regain her energy.

After Six exited the room, she went to help him wash off the blood and to make him look more presentable. Sir was going to come down and give a speech, introducing them to the world and he wouldn’t be pleased with them if the first look at Six the world had was him covered in blood.

After the seven of them gathered on the front steps, Sir joined them from wherever he was when they were completing the mission. He had them lined up in front of the cameras and reporters while he gave his prepared speech and answered some of their questions.

“Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted seven such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy.”

*

Minutes after she sat down outside, she could feel vibrations coming from the plants closest to Luther’s room. She sat up and concentrated some more. Luther had the biggest vinyl collection in the family, and whenever Dad had to leave he’d place something on the machine and let the music play throughout the entire mansion. And it seems like he was going to continue the tradition. She wondered what was actually playing now. She’d place money on it be I Think We’re Alone Now. He usually started with that one as a signal.

She stood up from her seat and started to sway around the courtyard. She may not be able to hear the music but that song was imprinted on her very being. It was one of the best things from their childhoods - freedom, as much as they were granted back then.

Just as she was getting into the groove, everything went suddenly dark and ominous. Lightning flashed and she could feel the thunder boom.

She quickly went from being semi-carefree Charlie to serious, trained Number Eight. She placed herself up against one of the walls and sunk herself into the Green. A blue portal was opening up above her and she was determined to stop whatever it was here in the courtyard before it could gain ground towards the Academy.

Her jewelry, few as it was, pulled in the direction of the portal - but most of her free attention was dragged towards the door where Number Two was exiting. She made her way towards him by routine memory. She was always near the back of the Academy - where she could see everyone and could also protect their backs. Over a decade later and it was still the position she was going to take.

Seven, One, and Three were on Two’s tail when she finally slid up to them. They quickly set up in their positions. One and Two in front, where they had the most space to move and could make up the physical wall that Three used before she could figure out who to actually Rumor. Seven was pushed into a spot so they could protect her as well. Eight stayed back a couple of steps so she’d have space to Grow. Four, who was running from the house, broke through the ranks with a fire exti-- a fire extinguisher?!? Why? Which he then used on the portal to no effect. When it very obviously didn’t work, he threw it into the portal.

When Eight glanced towards the portal, she saw a man. He was old and grey and she had never seen him before in her life but still. Her heart gave a particularly hard thump and she could swear she knew him. As she continued to watch him, she saw that he was screaming. And that he was getting younger? As the waves of blue were flashing over his face, he went from the original old man back through the ages, flashing back into a young teenager. After his final transformation, he fell face-first onto the ground - as he hit the ground the portal disappeared.

But before he hit, Eight could have sworn…

*

Fucking fuck. That goddamn hurt.

Five was hoping that he had actually made it because he really didn’t want to have to do that sort of jump again. Nor did he want to attempt that sort of landing again.

As he slowly stood up from where he slammed face-first into the ground, Five took stock of where he was. And while he didn’t necessarily recognize them, he was reassured when one of them said,

“Does anyone else see little Number Five or is that just me?”

Then the actual words the other man uttered registered and he looked down.

“Shit.”

*

Well, Eight supposed there were weirder things than their 13-year-old brother, who disappeared 17 years ago, popping up on the first day they were all together again from a glowing blue portal in the sky.

She couldn’t think of anything weirder currently but she was sure they existed.

After they collected themselves from his reappearance, they all moved towards the kitchen, slowly trailing after Five.

She was sitting with her back to the door - half an eye on her older siblings, half an eye on her little brother, and trying to calm herself down from the absolute adrenaline rush the last 10 minutes had been.

“The 24th.”

“Of what?”

“March.”

“Good.”

“So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?”

Of course, it was Luther who started the aggressive questioning, like he didn’t remember what an absolute little shit Five was. He was going to take this line of questioning really well.  

And there they went, the tallest brother squaring up against the shortest brother.

Despite only catching half of the conversation, she was doing her best to follow along. They were arguing - like usual - about what had happened to Five when he left. She had the hardest time tracking what Five was saying with his tendency to Jump from place to place instead of using his legs.

“- jumping through time is a toss of the dice. Nice dress.”

“Oh, well, danke!”

“Wait, how did you get back?”

“In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time”

“That makes no sense.”

“Well, it would if you were smarter.”

She had to roll her eyes. Even 17 years later and apparently some time travel, and he was still a colossal ass. Then again, her siblings made it super easy.

“How long were you there?”

“45 years. Give or take.”

Well. Holy shit. 45 years…he was 58? Well, he was always an old man in a young body.

“Delores?”

“Guess I missed the funeral.”

“How’d you know about that?”

“What part of future do you not understand? Heart failure, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Hmm. Nice to see nothing's changed.”

And with that glowing review, Five left the room. She wasn’t too surprised. He never really had the temperament to stay long in voluntary family gatherings - especially when the extra-thick duo were really living it up to their title.

When Allison turned back towards the table, she assumed that Five really had left and she shifted to better face the rest of them to keep them in her sights. They were all trading looks.

“Well…”

“That was interesting.”

Idiots.

*

After that disaster of a full family meeting, she retreated back outside to hide amongst the Green. She most definitely didn’t want to deal with any more people bullshit than she had too and they still had to do the actual funeral. She decided that some meditating was in order and she had made it very clear years ago that to interrupt her meditating time was at their own peril. Of course, that only stopped the lower numbers but the first 4 learned quickly, for the most part.

Too soon really, the rest of her siblings and Mom joined her outside near Ben’s god-awful statue. The weather seemed to mirror the general situation with a rainstorm finally breaking. She moved to stand near Mom to share her umbrella but slowed when Diego’s hands got real close his stupid leather harness.

Instead, she felt Allison come up beside her to share her umbrella with her. She tensed slightly with the close contact but soon relaxed when she realized it was harmless. She moved a little bit closer to her and relaxed as much as she could.

Huh. She still wore the perfume Charlie got her for their 17th birthday. That was…nice.

“Did something happen?”

All of them turned to Mom when she asked that. Charlie felt a pit form in the bottom of her stomach. Mom shouldn’t sound like that and she definitely shouldn’t be questioning what was happening

“Oh. yes, of course.”

Charlie really hated that look on Mom’s face. She never wanted to be the reason why it was put there and she found some more hate for Dad, because of it.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine. She just needs to rest. You know, recharge.”

Pogo finally joined them outside and it signaled the start of this shebang.

“Whenever you’re ready, dear boy.”

With a look around at them, Luther took Dad’s urn and upended it...where it piled up on top of the wet ground. Gross.

“Probably would have been better with some wind.”

She only raised an eyebrow at him.

“Does anyone wish to speak?”

She aimed the flattest look she knew how to at Pogo but stayed where she was. Does anyone wish to speak? Of course, she did but could she? Hardly. And none of her siblings offered.

“Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master...and my friend and I shall miss him very much. He leaves behind a complicated legacy--”

“He was a monster. He was a bad person and a worse father. The world’s better off without him.”

“Diego.”

“My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it.”

“Would anyone like something to eat?”

“No, it’s ok, Mom.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the kind of man he was.”

“You should stop talking now. I'm warning you.”

And here we go, One vs Two funeral style. She was worried they weren’t going to follow their script. And of course, Diego was the one to actually start the fight. She pulled Allison back to give them some more room to try to bash each other’s heads in. She’d place money on Diego, he’d always been jealous of Luther and could fight at a distance. Luther, despite everything about him, didn’t really like fighting against the family.

“And there goes Ben’s statue.”

Ben’s statue hit the ground with a thud that she could feel and she and Allison turned to go back inside. She had had enough of this crap. They were only in the kitchen when Luther ran past them. Vanya was close behind him. As her siblings streamed past her, she went to the cabinets. Mom always kept some cookies at hand in case any of them needed a case of pick me ups. She didn’t really know when else they would need them. And there they were - chocolate chocolate chip. She plated them and grabbed some milk and glasses. As she sat down at the table, she was surprised by the familiarity of it. They always had their assigned seats and she had just taken her normal spot.

*

“Nietzsche once said, ‘Man is as a rope stretched between the animal and the superhuman. A rope of the abyss. It is a dangerous crossing, a dangerous looking-back, a dangerous trembling and halting.’”

After dad finished his quote, Seven blew the whistle and the rest of them started their run up the stairs. She was slower than the rest but she was reaching for the Green on the top floor. As soon as she got a good grip on it, she pulled it towards herself and used it to pull herself up. As she was rapidly going up, she saw the tell-tale sign of Five’s Teleporting.

“That’s not fair, Five and Eight are cheating!”

“They adapted.”

*

She felt bad for her siblings, but she was loving the feel of the tattoo gun. It was a very soothing feeling. But she could see her siblings were hurt from their tattoos or were scared for their turns. She wished that they could like it more or that they didn’t have to get one.

*

After she sat down with her cookies and milk, Diego led Mom past them - probably towards her charging station. He barely glanced at her and she told him - using her face alone - to fuck right off. She was almost ready to fight him.

Klaus flounced in and sat at the head of the table. He grabbed a couple of cookies from her plate and then drank her milk. She just frowned at him prompting him to flap his Hello hand. With a roll of her eyes, she just refilled their glass. Soon afterward, Five came in and started going through all the cabinets.

“Where’s Vanya?”

“Oh, she’s gone.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Yeah.”

“An entire square block. 42 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee. And you can shut up.”

He pointed at her and her raised eyebrow. She only shrugged and made a point to use her eyes to point out the fact he was 13 again.

He just rolled his eyes back at her.

“Dad hated caffeine.”

“Well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us.”

She really hated to admit that Klaus was right.

“I’m taking the car.”

“Where are you going?”

Both she and Five turned to stare incredulously at Klaus. He was just talking about not having any coffee. Where else was he going to go?

“To get a decent cup of coffee.”

“Do you even know how to drive?”

“I know how to do everything.”

He made another face back at her, cause like hell he knew how to do everything.

The arrogant ass. And then he was gone.

“But then again, I also just kinda want to see what happens.”

“All right, I guess I’ll you guys in, what, ten years? When Pogo dies? You, hopefully, longer still. Or never.”

Diego made his way into the room talking and pointed at her at the end of his sentence. She flipped him off and leaned back in her chair.

“Not if you die first.”

“Yeah, love you too, sis.”

“Good luck on your next film. Hope it turns out better than your marriage, huh?”

She kicked at his ankles for that asshole comment. He flinched back from her and went for his harness. She steadied herself and narrowed her eyes. But then Allison left back into the house and Diego and Klaus went out towards the back door.

She just leaned back in her and closed her eyes. She was so fucking tired of being in this stupid house. She finally decided to just leave. There was nothing, well almost nothing, left for her in this place.  

She stood up and washed her dishes, then went to find Mom. She didn’t want to leave before she said hi and bye to her.

As she was walking through the main lobby, she saw Mom’s shadow on the upper levels. As she reached the top of the stairs, she looked around and saw Mom sitting at her charging station. She made her way over to her and sat down next to her.

She held onto Mom’s hand and they sat together staring at her paintings. This, this right here, the calm evenings with Mom, were her favorite parts of this house. She studied Mom’s paintings. She did have some pretty ones. But she knew Mom’s favorite was the portrait of the young lady in the black dress. She sat with Mom until her eyes started to flash blue, signaling her recharging.

She stood up, gave Mom a kiss on her forehead, and left the house.

*

She arrived home and she could finally relax. Once she was in through the front door, she locked it and slid to the floor. That was...exhausting. She sincerely wished her siblings long lives so she didn’t have to see them again, soon. Knickknack climbed up into her lap. She started to comb her fingers through their fur. She really should take her to get checked out soon, cause she was pretty sure she’d been adopted by this grey cat.

She heaved a sigh and stood up sometime later. She felt like she’d feel better if she completed her evening routine. She grabbed the watering hose, tucked Knickknack up on her shoulder, and started her circle around the store. The Green and Growing would help settle her down. Maybe some actual supper and then a rosewater and lavender bath before she went to bed.

When Knickkack rubbed her head against her chin, she took that as an agreement that it was a good plan.

Hopefully, things were going to go back to normal in the next couple of days.

Next Chapter

[hermitreunited]

🎉🎉Happy Anniversary to me!! 🎉🎉A year ago today, I posted my fic tua fic, which started off a really productive creative year, and helped me make a bunch of super amazing friends. I wanted to post a new fic today in celebration, but I just don’t have anything ready for that yet (it was a really productive year, by which I mean 5 fics. I am quite a slow writer).

BUT I thought I could still share a bit from a multichapter fic I am currently working on - my stab at a prospective season 2 fic, that I’ve been referring to as the 1963 fic because it takes place then, after they hop back in time at the end of season 1.

Hopefully I can get it written before an actual season 2 comes along and makes the whole thing moot, but for now, here’s a piece from the first chapter, wherein 23-year-old Dave is working as a rookie bartender when two weird looking guys come into the bar late at night. One is covered in knives and the other is wearing dog tags and his big green eyes are looking at Dave like he really does think that this drink will change his life...

It flows off his tongue so easily. Calling this other man ‘dear.’ It makes Dave notice how the collar of the shirt underneath Klaus’ vest swoops so low, so revealing. His loose posture, the thick dark lines bringing out his eyes. The spark shining in those eyes when they slip slowly from the whiskey swirling in his glass up to meet Dave’s gaze.

Dave flushes. Suddenly his palms are sweaty and his mouth is dry. He grabs a towel to wipe down the already clean counter, needing it more as a prop than anything else.

Klaus takes another sip. He takes an expectant inhale, but hesitates, just blows the air out in a sigh. The Penguins are doing a poor job of filling up the otherwise empty bar.

A good bartender is a good listener, can team up with the alcohol to get a heavy story out of a burdened man and send him on his way lighter than before. But Dave hasn’t even been here for four whole months. He’s not that good.

Klaus picks up the slack. “Nice fellow like you, probably you’ve got a girlfriend.”

Dave nods. “Annie.”

Klaus nods too, like he was expecting this. “But you’re planning to propose to her soon.”

Yes. Dave doesn’t know how something like that can be obvious to an outside observer. There’s no rings, no actual proposals have happened yet. But it’s true, what Klaus is saying.

“That’s what you do when the girl you took to prom stays with your sorry ass for this long, right?” he says.

Klaus looks thoughtful. “You’ve really got to be sure that it’s the right thing to do, when you do that.” His gaze cuts to Dave, much more piercing and clear-eyed than he’s used to seeing in this place.

No one could accuse Dave of not devoting enough thought to popping this particular question. Most of his classmates didn’t wait near as long as this to get married, actually. A couple of the guys from marching band are fathers already.

Annie is nice. She’s lovely. She’s got a beautiful singing voice, and she’s kind to everyone. Kind enough to go to prom with Dave, and to stay waiting for him for this long. There’s being a gentleman, and then there’s whatever Dave is doing.

What he’s doing is nothing. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t deserve the credit he gets for being ‘such a respectful young man,’ since it’s not like he is responsibly overcoming his baser desires. He just hasn’t felt like that about Annie. Not yet. So he hasn’t proposed yet, either.

He knows he’s supposed to - he’s known that, for a while, but it’s been weighing on his mind even more lately. Since his dad’s accident. Life is short, and his mom could really use some good news now, and Annie is nice, and somewhere buried in all of that must be the reason why it’s the right thing to do.

He really is the worst bartender. This conversation is all turned around. He tries to get things back on track. Be conventional. “Do you have a girlfriend, then?” His voice comes out sounding odd, for some reason Dave can’t place.

He’d be shocked if this guy was single. Not with a smile like that.

“No, I’m - ” Klaus’ voice is strangled and strange, too. “I was close with someone. But he - we couldn’t make it work.” He’s looking at Dave like he’s wishing for an answer, but it’s not even a question. Then he blinks the suspended moment away, and grumbles off to his side, “I get that.”

Dave didn’t miss the pronoun. He shouldn’t focus on it, Klaus was quick to correct it. But he can’t stop hearing it. There’s only the three of them in whole bar, but something about the close weight of the air makes it seem like they are enclosed in the same small space.

“She made me want to be a better person,” Diego says into his empty glass, “because she was just a good person. Now I’ll never see her again.”

Klaus smiles wryly. “You never know, it’s 1963. Depends how long you stay alive.”

[ontowanderlust]

How to say I love you?  (2)

A/N: Another one? Really? Gosh. Bear with me, I’ve got like six more to go. I haven’t started writing the third one so if you guys are waiting for the next one- I’m gonna be frank with you, it will take me a long time before I publish it out. I would like to give this fic to the anon who had requested a different Five Hargreeves fanfic- (I tried writing your prompt, dearie, but I just couldn’t find the inspiration to recreate the magic of the song. That, and I am not really familiar with the song itself and tried googling it but I really cannot replicate the magic.) so instead, this part is dedicated to you whoever you are, anon.

Special thanks to: @grimpower-s you are awesome and amazing and I might pop out sooner or later depending on my motivation so yup.. I love you, my beta.

One of the reasons why I haven’t posted this was because of the sucky title. Let me know if you guys have better ideas. The other reason was just I’m too lazy to post this. My betas knew that I had a name written here but I had to revert to second person since… this is tumblr. (Though, the last name is predetermined already, don’t fight me on this.) Let me know if this sucks or if you guys like it.

Also some reminders:

Five is eighteen in this fic

The apocalypse had already happened

(Spoiler) They are sent back in time

And there are some of the 43 involved in this fic- there are 16 actually. Find them all and hit me in my asks if you knew the reference of the names.

Alternatively: 7 times he confessed and the 1 time she accepted his confession / 8 ways to say I Love You

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Prompt: This prompt is brought to you by R. McKinley (you write beautifully, may I just say) and @chickenshit​‘s photo edit. I did say that I’m gonna write something about this, right?

=Masterlist=

For as long as Y/N can remember Tuesdays had always been allocated as a day where she and her brother, Crutchie gets to be “special” (or so as people in their household says.)

Coming from a rich household, their mother had given them Tuesday as a time for reprieve from the whirlwind of studies from their different tutors, (seriously, why do they need to learn the 14 different uses of forks?) she and her brother would have a mock battle with each other- her, usually making her brother pause at mid-action while he retaliates by setting off a series of events at her misfortune. 

As much as she loved spending time with her brother, back then, it always felt as if Tuesdays are nothing more than the only day where she felt extraordinary and that if Tuesdays were removed, she would be… nothing more than some girl who got lucky and was born to wealth.

She hated how Tuesdays dictate her worth. She hated it so much that she had to resort to all kinds of excuses.

That is until her mother brought home the foster kid who would eventually become her big brother, Jack. 

Despite their initial distrust with each other, she learned that there is a purpose why her mother is adamant with their Tuesday routine. There is a purpose why she let her children discover what their abilities can do and make up for the loss of what the others can’t.

And right now, she couldn’t be more thankful to her mom than ever.

Throughout the years, Tuesdays with her brothers had somehow evolved with having more company- the kids she and her brothers had encountered on their run from their relatives- and their neighbors who were all born the same day as them. 

Crutchie liked to call it predetermined. Fate, if he will. She and Jack simply would scoff at their brother’s belief. Although, deep down, they all knew that having these kids make up for the space their mother had left them. In a way, they are all what they have, they are family.

When the Umbrella Academy showed up on their doorstep a few months back, she knew her twin had been right all along. (She never doubted him in his predictions. She just hated how optimistic his way of thinking is.) 

And so here they were Tuesday morning, in the middle of a massive courtyard-turned-grassy field courtesy of Katherine’s ability, about to face these superheroes. And since the Academy is massively outnumbered, Jack chose seven people from their team to battle the opposing team. 

“Heads up, mi hermano!” She heard Klaus holler at Five as she saw JoJo swooping down from above, grabbing the fifth Hargreeves child as if he weighed nothing before dropping him 30 ft from the sky.

She watched with interest as Klaus tried to levitate to save his brother, failing when Katherine touched the grass, willing some blades to transform into vines as it wrapped around the unsuspecting seance’s ankle, pulling him to the ground.

“We’re being floored,” she heard Diego deadpanned at Five as he spatial jumped back beside him. “We need a new plan.”

Five rolled his eyes as she watched him search the field for what she presumed would be the victim of this boy’s ire.

Having spent her time with them, she knew the Academy had somehow built this holier-than-thou attitude- a result of their glorified superhero days.

It’s no surprise that their hubris is their downfall and her family have no qualms in kicking their sorry asses.

Good. She scoffed inwardly. Someone has to teach them some humility. She thought as she absentmindedly reached up to steal Henry’s popcorn, ignoring his protests as her attention went back to the battle in front of her. 

Her family had adopted the strategy of keeping the Academy from each other while they keep themselves open to assist their own should the need arise.

Davey is managing on his own after he had borrowed Vanya’s ability, facing her by himself as he isolated her from her siblings, Katherine and JoJo teaming up to confuse Klaus and Diego, messing with them, Mush steeling himself well against Luther’s strength while Elmer and Romeo are fighting off Allison and Ben side by side. Crutchie, on the other hand, is providing all the assistance from every corner, setting off one series of unfortunate events to another, simply cast on the side as an open target.

Apparently, Five is thinking the same thing as her as she saw his gaze fell upon her twin, his fists started to glow blue.

She stood up abruptly, startling Race who was using her shoulder to sleep on, jumping off the bleachers (graciously provided by Katherine, “for your entertainment, losers”) prompting the rest to ask where she’s going. 

“He’s going after Crutchie!” she called over her shoulder, eyes locked onto Five’s running figure, trying to concentrate on him in order to slow him down. 

“Y/N, get back here!” She heard Jack yell but she had already entered the field, running as fast as she can, barely dodging JoJo as she shook her head, irritated at her lack of control over her ability.

Just as she ran past Elmer, she vaguely heard his panicked tone, voicing his worries to Romeo. 

“Time out!” Romeo yelled, stretching his arm as he wrapped it around Allison and Ben, easily trapping them. “Time out, Jack! Elmer’s lost control of his portal!”

What.

Too late now. She thought as strings of profanities left her lips. True to Romeo’s statement, Elmer’s portals had been emerging from different places and so she used her momentum, dodging the stray portals, her eyes searching for the spatial jumping boy, not noticing the portal that appeared beneath her feet. 

Having grown up alongside Elmer, there wasn’t a Tuesday where she hadn’t accidentally gotten sucked into his portal so why would this Tuesday any be of different?

Perhaps, the fact that she entered the void, momentarily disorienting her as she fell from above, her arms outstretched in order to brace herself, instead she found her hands colliding with a body part- a shoulder? She’s certain it was a shoulder since arms immediately wrapped around her waist as the person braced for the impact.

She couldn’t be any more grateful at Katherine for making today’s landscape a grassy field as the grass soften the impact of collision of the back of the person who had grabbed her to the ground while her knees were the ones that caught her weight, accidentally straddling the person.

Y/N couldn’t care any less for the pain that is engulfing her.

She shouldn’t care except… because of the force from the gravity, her head had collided with the person’s face, her lips effectively planting exactly on the person’s lips.

What the fuck.

Instinctively, she pulled away faster than she could utter a profanity, glancing down as apology is ready to leave her lips.

Only, the apology died as her eyes widened at the sight of the boy she is seeking out, sprawled beneath her, groaning in pain.

What the fuck.

She opened her mouth, about to sputter out apologies- anything to save face- when Five’s eyes creaked open, his face morphing into quick panic as his arms around her waist tightened before flipping them both easily, shielding her as stray objects that entered the portals (stray branches, small pebbles, handful of dirt) rained upon them. 

The vague smell of coffee overwhelmed her senses as she opened her eyes only for her breath to hitch as her eyes met the bluest pair of eyes she had ever seen. 

Time slowed down as flicker of blue lights enveloped the two of them momentarily. Is it even possible for someone to possess such fascinating eyes? She wondered silently as conflicted expression graced Five’s face before leaning down, softly brushing his lips against hers before fully capturing her lips.

Have I mentioned what the fuck already?

She is vaguely aware of her surroundings, the blue lights flaring for a bit as time alternated on freezing or slowing down everything around them and yet, that didn’t stop the warmth spreading on her ears, her hands tapping slightly on the grass as she could feel his lips moving against hers as if he was muttering something.

If she weren’t the type to pay attention to the littlest detail, she might’ve missed it but surely, the stoic Five Hargreeves hadn’t muttered those three words on her mouth now, would he?

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Authors notes: There are brief descriptions of violence against a minor and brief discussion of Olaf's sick intentions with Violet. Read with caution. It isn't the main focus of the chapter but it is mentioned here and there. So read with caution.

Also, sorry if this chapter is super long I just kept adding a lot of shit and I honestly like how it turned out.

Notes:

First off I just want to apologize for how long this chapter took. Time has gotten away from me but I can promise that part three will be a day to day posting schedule like part one. Carnivorous Carnival might still have a couple days in between each chapter cause I am in the process of finding a new second job, still dealing with two jobs, and even moving. So updates won't take this long but they won't be day to day. I am hoping for the first chapter of CC to be posted in three days. Maybe even Thursday. I do appreciate the support this fic has gotten and I can't wait to wow y'all with part three.

That being said, we are at the last chapter of Hostile Hospital and I am feeling very emotional about that mere prospect. This just means we are close to the end of part two and near the start of part three. during the time in between parts two and three I will be posting a number of random one shots cause I don't plan to post until I have finished writing Grim Grotto to it's completion because Slippery Slope might be as long as Hostile Hospital has been.

So thank you all again for the support. Hope you enjoy the ending of HH.

-Sue

__________________________________________________

                                   Chapter Fifty-Seven:

The One With An Unhinged Madman and a Very Flawed, Daring Escape

Olaf smiled happily down at the film that was now in his hands. The Snicket File? He thought as his smile grew bigger. All he could think about was who he expected to be in this film. He had believed it would’ve been the love of his life, Kit Snicket. He glanced from the film towards Esme. Esme was looking at the young orphan boy with a cold, murderous expression. He stole a glance towards the unconscious girl that laid limp and lifeless on the cutting table. Then he slowly turned his gaze to the young boy and hidden toddler who stood before him. He smiled viciously at them as he secured the film into his pocket.

The villain’s smile widened when Esme had helped him reveal the orphans’ true identity to the crowd. He watched a terrified Klaus slowly begin to panic. The villain reveled in his young adversary’s fear. He glanced around. Bored with his plot. He was curious to know what was on the Snicket file and to tell the truth, he was eager to see Kit’s face again. Olaf glanced at Esme while Klaus and Sunny were too distracted by the audience to notice. Olaf was signaling for Esme to take care of the orphans while he dipped out momentarily to investigate the file. Esme gave a slow nod as she focused on causing the orphans more turmoil. Olaf looked around the stage for a way to escape undetected. But he didn’t have to think for too long because the blind old man who was in charge of the Library of Records had entered the room accusing the children of theft.

Olaf took this golden opportunity to leave the operating theater of Heimlich Hospital as he walked excitedly down the halls towards the Library of Records. All the while, he had taken the film out of his pocket and was staring at it with heavy eyes the entire duration of his walk. As he walked further and further away from the operating theater, he could faintly hear the desperate voice of Klaus Baudelaire asking where he had gone, he smirked with triumph as he rounded a corner finding the door to the library. He stepped inside the Library of Records smiling at the damage that his girlfriend had done when she was in pursuit of those awful orphans. He quickly found the area of the room where the projectors had been placed.

As he began to play the film, his face turned from happy to one of pure confusion. As he stared speechless at a ghost. Olaf was visibly upset. When he was told about the Snicket file, he hadn’t expected to see a Snicket brother on film. He grabbed the film’s case scanning it for a date. Of course, in good VFD fashion, there was no date of production, just the broad name. He slammed the case down in pure annoyance.

His eyes widened as he stared emotionless at Jacques Snicket. “But, before I do, I have an important update,” Jacques explained but Olaf couldn’t help but be merely distracted on who he could see. Olaf knew for a fact that he had murdered Jacques Snicket. He cocked his head to the side as he stared at Jacques, a volatile mix of emotions causing him to groan in annoyance as the volunteer spoke. Olaf had expected to see Kit Snicket, not her pesky, meddlesome twin brother who he had recently slain. He leaned his chin in his hand, feigning a yawn. Trying his best to mask his complete and utter discomfort for this situation. He scoffed aloud as he rolled his eyes, confused as to what he was feeling exactly.

It couldn’t be guilt. I’ve sunk too low to ever feel guilt and have empathy for another soul. He had thought with another quick eye roll. He had half a mind to turn off the film.

What information could Jacques Snicket possibly have that could be useful to me?

But as Olaf reached for the switch to turn it off. Jacques Snicket said it. Jacques said the haunting secret that the three orphans had learned moments before Esme Squalor burst into the library and successfully kidnapped Violet.

The vile man’s demeanor was calm, like the air that filled the Library of Records. But his cold demeanor was also very chilling. Anyone who knew Olaf well would take one look at him and accuse the man who sat in the Library of Records to be an imposter. He chuckled nervously, but in a low whisper as if he were afraid of others hearing him. For a brief moment, Olaf simply stared blankly towards the film. Jacques Snicket spoke on but Olaf paid him no attention. As if Jacques’ initial statement had frozen him in time. Jacques’ secret replayed in Olaf’s head in a continuous loop not allowing him a brief moment of peace. Olaf shook his head violently, but other than that his motions were bare, his demeanor was still calm.

After another few moments like that, Olaf stopped the film, rewound it to the very beginning, and turned it back on. Again, he listened to Jacques’ revelation about the recent fires. This time when he heard Jacques' theory, his heart stopped. A chill was sent over him.

It can’t be. He thought to himself desperately. Quickly succumbing to anxiety and paranoia that was now creeping in on him, he glanced around the empty library. He stood up from his seat to get a better look around. He wasn’t sure why but he could feel his heart beating in his chest as he surveyed the area for his older enemies.

Olaf wouldn’t admit to anyone that he was afraid, even though he was. He knew that if the kids knew that there was a survivor; and he had a strong feeling that the children did, in fact, know what was on the film seeing that Klaus was hesitant to hand it over to Esme, only handing it over because he thought it would be a good bargaining chip for Violet’s life. But if the kids knew there was a survivor and they somehow got to the survivor first, before Olaf could, he knew that that would only mean terrible things for him. Who knows what Beatrice, Bertrand, and Lemony would do to him if they ever found out just what he had done to their children and even some of the vile things he had planned especially when it came to the eldest orphan. His breathing was slowly going back to normal as he shook his head again.

He scoffed as he turned off the film again. He waited for it to rewind as he kept shaking his head defiantly. “What does Jacques Snicket know? Nothing. That’s what.” he tried to convince himself. “He was always a know-it-all with no way to back anything up.” But no matter what he said aloud to himself, nothing was convincing him that he was safe from the parents’ wrath.

He ran one of his hands nervously through his disgusting, grey hair. “No. No. Lemony is dead.” he said shakily. But then he remembered how a struggling violet was desperately crying out for her father when he was using the anesthetic to subdue her. “Remember...you...you killed him. You set his apartment building ablaze!” the vile man began to nervously laugh at this statement. He was hoping for his laugh to come out shrill and villainous, as it usually does, but it came out nervous and unenthusiastic. “Killing him...and whoever else was unfortunate enough to die,”

His eyes widened when he remembered the young teen girl that was strapped to a gurney in the middle of the operating theater. How did she survive? How did she escape the fire? That question now haunted him more than it had when he had first laid eyes on her at Prufrock. When he immediately recognized her as a miniature Beatrice with Lemony’s blue eyes. Olaf remembers when he had set the fire it was in the early hours of the morning or late hours of the evening (depending on how you look at), surely Violet would have been sleeping or inside her home when he started the fire.  

So if an untrained fourteen-year-old girl could escape the fire I set….who’s to say, Lemony Snicket, a man who has had a lifetime of training in a cult, couldn’t escape as well? He thought to himself. He rubbed the side of his face anxiously.

“Get a grip, Olaf.” He told himself as he stopped the film. “She only escaped because that brat is lucky,” he smirked as he remembers her lifeless, limp body laying on a gurney in the operating theater. “And her luck is soon going to run out.”

He took a small breath. “Besides, there’s no way he survived...he would’ve shown his face by now.” The vile man reasoned, but to be honest, he wasn’t too sure. Olaf did not think it made sense for Lemony to risk his life for two children that weren't biologically his but not even try to rescue his own child. He also highly doubted Bertrand and Beatrice wouldn’t have shown their faces in an effort to save their kids. He began to nervously laugh as he shook his head. “Maybe...I misheard Jacques. He always played that stupid hearing game with Lemony…” Olaf stated, still trying to find some logical way to debunk what he heard Jacques Snicket say.

As he rewound the film once more, Olaf took a deep breath and played it again. Olaf’s eyes fixated on Jacques as he listened attentively as Jacques explained that Lemony was either dead or on the lam. Olaf’s eyes widened as he shook his head defiantly. “No. Lemony Snicket is dead,” he told himself. He hoped that if he said it out loud enough times then it would stay true. He desperately wanted that statement to stay true. He wanted Lemony Snicket to be dead.

Olaf glared slightly at the vision of Jacques Snicket. Grimacing, groaning, and growling as the ‘noble’ man spoke. It was like Jacques Snicket had come back from the dead to deliver Olaf some bad news. Jacques was always the bearer of bad news when Olaf was still working alongside the Snickets. He grabbed the file’s case once more and threw it to the ground when he couldn’t find a date. Even with the film’s metallic case cling ing on the ground as it bounced from being thrown, Olaf could still hear every word Jacques was saying loud and clear.

 “It seems there may have been a survivor of a recent fire,” Jacques said again. Olaf grumbled as he kicked the air in front of his feet. Even while sitting he managed to stomp both feet as if he were a child throwing a temper tantrum and not simply a very highly unstable grown man going through his seventh midlife crisis in the last several months. As his hand ran through his hair again, he took a firm grip, slightly pulling in anger and desperation.

“Of course…” he cried, mockingly. “Of fucking course!”

His breathing became sharp and quick but not from fear as it had only a few minutes ago. Now his breathing was irregular because of his anger. He felt a tear or two form in his eyes as he thought about how the people who have wronged him could still be alive.

“No,” he cried out. His voice was somewhat desperate but mainly defeated. “No! This isn’t fair!” He screeched as he rewound the film again, not caring to turn it off. The film rewound although this rewind had slightly distorted the video. But Olaf didn’t pay it any attention. “ Nothing ever goes my way!” He barked, his voice still dripped desperation even if he was trying his best to mask it. He thought of each and every scheme that had failed since his pursuit of Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire, this revelation caused him to growl. It was bad enough that the kids were surviving him but now their hypocritical parents?

“I can’t believe it,” Olaf whined. “ This changes everything!” The vicious man grabbed at his hair again, pulling at it aggressively as he growled inhumanely. His mind flashed to the unconscious girl on the cutting table, the bespectacled boy who was desperately trying to rescue her, and the simpering infant with the sharp teeth.

“ They’re supposed to be orphans!”  He growled, shaking with each word.

As he yelled that last sentence, he shut his mouth abruptly. His expressionless face slowly growing into a Grinch-like grin as his eyes shone with an idea. He began to laugh lightly as if he had just remembered a joke that Esme or one of his troupe members had told him.

Olaf’s world was currently spiraling as his happiness about getting his revenge against Lemony Snicket may not have actually happened or that his second-hand revenge against Bertrand Markson and Beatrice Baudelaire didn’t occur either and this revelation sent him in a frenzy. The mere idea of a survivor had his entire soul heated up.

His face grew dark as he thought, once more, about their three plucky children. A cruel, vicious smile appeared on the man’s face. “ It would be fun to deal with the survivor and their precious children.” He said aloud, his light laughter turned into full-grown villainous howling as his dark mind began to imagine cruel scenarios for the survivor and their children. A cruel smile appeared on his face as he began to fantasize about how he would ‘take care’ of these orphans in front of their parents.

He thought first about little Sunny, and how he would rip the infant limb from limb, listening to her screams and cries of agony and her parents and siblings horrified pleads. He then thought about Klaus and how he would cut the bookworm in such a way where the young boy slowly bled out agonizingly slow, somehow surviving through to the very end of Olaf’s madness, only to be killed the last second when Olaf finally decides to put him out of his misery with a quick slit of his throat. The sick man reveled in the screams that the survivor and Klaus would be making. He already knew how fun it was to carve up the middle orphan as if he were a pumpkin in October and he was very eager to do it some more. But then finally, he thought about Violet, the girl who laid unconscious and restrained on the cutting table. A sick smile laced with the cruelest of intentions appeared on his face as he began to imagine all of the dark and twisted things he had planned for little Miss Snicket. The mere prospect of even having an audience to be forced to watch as he breaks their little girl in the cruelest way imaginable made Olaf smile wickedly.

 He could finally cause the survivor more pain than they had caused him and he would use their own children to do so.  Maybe he can twist the cruel reality of a survivor of a recent fire in his favor. It would only take postponing murdering the brats until he found out who was the survivor and then brutally torturing their children to death in front of them. Olaf shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t what he had initially planned but this gave him more time to torment the children and that always made him feel a little happier.

Finally, Olaf stood turning to leave. He felt as though he had been away from the operating theater for too long and he was beginning to worry that the others couldn’t handle the Baudelaires and an unconscious Snicket girl. He would be so fucking pissed if Esme and the others lost his little pet. But as he turned his back to Jacques Snicket for the last time, film Jacques said it once more. “There may be a survivor of a recent fire.”

Olaf took one deep breath as he stood motionless for a second. Jacques’ words hitting Olaf slowly as if Jacques were standing right in front of him, stabbing him cruelly.  “I know!” Olaf hissed, his hands slowly tightening to white-knuckled fists. He let out a vicious growl that caused his whole body to shake aggressively.

Olaf turned towards the projector rapidly as he shoved the projector that played the film down onto the table. In a fit of blind rage, Olaf gripped the projector and began to beat it repeatedly against the table. “ Baudelaire!” he hissed as he continued to beat the projector against the table. “ Markson!” He growled again as he turned towards the chair that he had sat in and kicked it with all his might. As the psychotic man hissed, “ Snicket!” the chair flew across the room only stopping when it collided with one of the filing cabinets that had survived Esme’s rampage. He turned back towards the projector continuing to slam it against the table, eventually shoving it down and then pounding on the table with his fists. “ NOOOOOOO!” He bellowed in the empty library. His voice echoing and bouncing off the walls

He gripped onto the projector one last time and rapidly smacked it against the table once more and carefully watched with curiosity when a small flame had illuminated. Olaf instinctively tried to swat it out but then as his eyes shone bright with an idea, his face went dark with no emotion besides cold ruthlessness.

He slowly bent down towards the flame, his face darkening as his sick thoughts danced around his head laced with cruel intentions. He softly blew at the flame, nurturing it, allowing it to grow into a full-fledged fire. As he gazed at the intoxicating orange flames, reveling in the intense high he was feeling, he merely shrugged his shoulders.

What’s one more fire?

________________________________________________________________

Klaus gazed up at the crowd nervously as he and Sunny jumped when they heard a familiar laugh, far above them. The two younger orphans glanced at one another nervously and then focused their gazes towards the intercom speaker that was above them. The siblings had heard this laughter when Olaf had first captured the Quagmire triplets and Sunny, and when Esme had successfully pushed Klaus and Violet down the elevator shaft at 667 Dark Avenue, and when he had trapped the two older siblings in a locked Deluxe Cell or trapped Sunny and the Quagmires in a small cage at the bottom of an elevator shaft, a statue of a red herring, and a fountain. It was the triumphant laughter of someone who has cooked up a fiendish plot and succeeded, although it always sounded like the laughter of someone who has just told an excellent joke. Because he was laughing over the scratchy intercom, Olaf sounded as if he had a piece of aluminum foil over his mouth, but the laughter was still loud enough to help wear off the anesthesia only slightly, and Violet murmured something and tried to move her restrained arms.

“Oops,” Olaf said, interrupting his laughter when he noticed the intercom was on. “Attention!” Olaf cried as Klaus cried out a desperate ‘no’ in response. “This is Doctor Mattathias Medical-School with some very important news. A terrible fire has broken out in Heimlich Hospital.”

The crowd around the children gasped as they all stood up from their seats. Even the troupe and Esme glanced at one another nervously. “The fire was set in the Library of Records by that Baudelaire murderer and his baby accomplice!”

“ Toddler!” Sunny corrected as the crowd began to glare at her and her brother.

“Sunny, not the time,” Klaus whispered as he continued to gaze up at the intercom, silently pleading for Olaf to stop his treachery. He shook his head as Olaf spoke and continued to mouth the word ‘no’.

“The fire has spread through a number of wards. The orphans are still at large, so do everything you can to find them, arrest them, and bring them to me. ” he hissed into the intercom.

“No,” Sunny whimpered as the crowd around the children glared intensely.

“Oh, and you might want to evacuate the building...or move the patients...or something,” Olaf said nonchalantly. “Thank you. That is all.”

Their enemy’s voice disappeared in a matter of seconds. Klaus looked around desperately. “We...we...we couldn’t have started the fire! We’ve been in this operating theater the whole time!” he reasoned.

“Get them!” One nurse cried. “Somebody tell Mattathias we’ve captured the children!” she turned to Klaus and Sunny. “You three brats are in big trouble. You’re murderers, arsonists, kidnappers, and now spurious doctors.”

“Don’t forget thieves!” Hal cried, holding up the fake key ring.

“They get that from their mother!” Esme cried angrily, glaring daggers at Klaus.

“That’s…” Klaus began but then he looked towards his sisters. “Not...not all of that is true...I only disguised myself...to save…” But as he looked around, he feared that no one was believing him. He looked at the spurious keyring in Hals’ hands that he and his sisters had used to sneak into the Library of Records. He looked at his ripped medical coat, which he had used to disguise himself as a doctor and he looked at the rusty blade in his own hands, which he had just been holding over his unconscious older sister. Klaus remembered when he and Sunny lived with Uncle Monty, and the two siblings, with some help from a disguised Lemony Snicket, brought several objects to Mr. Poe as evidence to Olaf’s treacherous plot. Because of the small objects, Olaf was placed under arrest, and now Klaus was afraid that the same would happen to him and his sisters.

“Surround them!” The Hook-Handed Man cried, pointing at the children with a curved glove. “But be careful. The bookworm still has the knife!”

Olaf’s associates spread out in a circle and slowly began walking towards the youngsters at all angles. Sunny whimpered in fright and ran behind Klaus’ legs as Klaus was trying to guard both his sisters. Klaus quickly picked Sunny up and put her on the gurney.

“Capture those orphans!” a doctor cried.

The two white-faced women smiled wickedly at Klaus and Sunny. “We’ll perform surgery on all three of you!” one of the women shouted causing Esme to facepalm.

Hal looked to them in disbelief. “What?” he asked. “No, the children will go to prison, of course.”

“Well, technically they’ll be in juvenile detention until they come of age,” the henchperson of indeterminate gender explained.

“Ridiculous!” the bald man cried. “They should be tried as adults.”

“Murderers should get the chair,” one white-faced woman argued.

“We’re talking about children,” Hal complained.

“Very small chairs, then,” the other white-faced woman commented as the troupe took another step towards the children.

“We can discuss the details after we arrest them,” a volunteer fighting disease cried.

“Yeah! Stop arguing and arrest them!” another cried.

“That’s what we’re doing, you fool!” Esme cried impatiently, but when she turned her head towards the two Baudelaire orphans and the drowsy Snicket girl they saw her wink. “We’re going to capture only one of you,” she said, in a quiet voice so the audience couldn’t hear her. She had her eyes focused on Klaus, who backed into Violet’s gurney causing the Snicket girl to shriek slightly.

Sunny turned towards Violet. “Shhhh, it’s okay,” she whimpered to the drowsy Violet as she pets her hair softly.

Esme smiled as she glanced down at her stiletto shoes. “This in footwear isn’t just useful for making me look glamorous and feminine,” she explained as she took one of her heels off and pointed it right at the children. “These stilettos are perfect for slitting children’s throats.” she hissed under her breath, taking a small step closer to Klaus, who adjusted the large, rusty knife in his hands. “The two bratty girl orphans will be killed while trying to escape from justice, leaving the one bratty, little Baudelaire boy to give us the fortune.”

“You’ll never get your hands on our inheritance,” Klaus cried. “Or your shoes at my sisters’ throats.”

Esme merely shrugged. “We’ll see,” she cried, as she swung her shoe at Klaus as if it were a sword. Klaus ducked quickly and felt the whoosh! Of the air as the blade swept over him. He glanced at Esme confused. She had just explained her intention to kill his sisters not him, so why was she swinging her shoes at him. It didn’t take Klaus long to realize what Esme was doing as he jumped back up onto his feet in hopes of protecting Violet and Sunny.

“ She’s trying to kill us!” Klaus cried desperately. “Can’t you see? These are the real murderers!”

“No one will ever believe you,” Esme said in a sinister whisper and swung her shoe at Sunny, who moved away just in time.

“I don’t believe you!” Hal cried. “My eyesight may not be what it used to be, but I could see that phony medical coat on the ground.”

“I don’t believe you either!” a nurse cried. “I can see that rusty knife!”

Esme swung her shoe towards the drowsy Violet this time, Klaus maneuvering Violet’s gurney out of the way in the nick of time. “Why don’t you surrender?” Esme hissed. “We’ve finally trapped you, just as you trapped Olaf all those other times.”

“When did we ever…” Klaus cried as he jumped back away from Esme’s attack.

“Now you know what it feels like to be a villain!” the bald man yelled. “Move closer, everyone! Mattathias told me whoever grabs them first gets to choose where to go for dinner tonight!”

Klaus looked at the group of villains in disbelief. He scanned towards the crowd looking for any friendly or helpful face. He frowned when he realized that no one was going to help them or stick up for the children. Esme could literally slit one of their throats and no one in this half-emptied crowd would bat an eyelash.

“Is that so?” the Hook-Handed Man asked. “Well I’m in the mood for pizza.” he swung a rubber-gloved hook at Klaus, who fell back against the gurney, rolling himself and his sister out of the evil man’s reach even if it was only a few inches.

“I feel more like Chinese food,” one of the white-faced women said. “Let’s go to that place where we celebrated the Quagmire and Baudelaire kidnapping.”

“I want to go to Cafe Salmonella,” Esme snarled.

Klaus pushed against the gurney again, wheeling it in the other direction as the circle of associates closed in on him and his sisters. He held the rusty knife up for protection as he listened to the whimpering of his younger sister and watched the restrained struggles of his elder sister. Klaus did not think he could use a weapon, even on people as wicked as these. Even if that dark thought had crossed his mind more than ten times in the last five minutes. He frowned when he realized that he was thinking just like Count Olaf. He shook his head slightly, he refused to be anything like Olaf. He knew if Count Olaf would have been trapped, he would not have hesitated to swing the rusty blade at the people who were surrounding him, but despite what the bald man had said, Klaus did not feel like a villain or rather, he didn’t want to feel like a villain. He didn’t want to feel a thing like Olaf. He refused to be the thing he hated the most. What Klaus did feel like though, was someone who needed to escape.

“Klaus...what do we do?” Sunny asked in a terrified whisper as the troupe and Esme took another step towards the kids.

“I...I don’t know, Sunny…” he admitted as he backed into his sister’s gurney again, he glanced down at Violet and then at Sunny, giving his younger sister a small smile, because he knew just how the three siblings were going to escape. “But a great mind once told me... there’s always something, ” he said as he smiled down at the drowsy Violet, who merely looked up at him with a face full of fear, disorientation, and confusion.

“Get back!” Klaus cried as he focused on the villains. “This knife is very sharp!”

“You can’t kill all of us,” the Hook-Handed Man replied. “In fact, I doubt you have the courage to kill anyone.”

“It doesn’t take courage to kill someone,” Klaus replied. “It takes a severe lack of moral stamina.”

“That is a wonderful way to describe your parents,” Esme commented, smirking.

“Wait...what…?”

“But I’m afraid, your fancy words won’t save you now, you twerp.” Esme snarled mockingly.

“That’s true,” Klaus admitted. “What will save me now is a bed on  wheels used to transport hospital patients,”

Without another word, Klaus tossed the rusty knife to the floor, startling Olaf’s associates into stepping back. Esme even dropped her stiletto shoe in shock. The circle of people with a severe lack of moral stamina was spread out a little more, just for a moment, but a moment was all the Baudelaires needed. Klaus gripped Violet’s gurney tightly and began to roll his sisters off the stage. Before he had a chance to jump on the gurney himself, he felt something sharp prying at his skin.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Esme hissed as she gripped Klaus’ arm tightly. Digging her stiletto nails into his skin as roughly as he could. The young boy cried out as the vile woman smirked. Klaus desperately tried to push the gurney that held his sisters away but Esme kept him in place.

“Please…” Klaus pleaded, forgetting that Esme was like Olaf and she had absolutely no humanity left within her.

“ Please…” Esme mocked, beginning to chuckle. “ You three aren’t going anywhere!” she hissed into Klaus’ ear as he continued to struggle to get the vile woman to let him go. Olaf’s troupe just stood stupidly around unsure of what to do. While more of the crowd had decided that exiting a burning hospital was a better idea then capturing three falsely-accused orphans. Although some of the crowd did stay to help capture the kids. “Olaf and I have plans for each of you…” Esme snarled as she glanced towards a terrified Sunny who sat at the foot of Violet’s gurney. “Ain’t that right, babylaire?”

Sunny looked to the confused and struggling Violet to the terrified and struggling Klaus and then at the smirking bitch who held them in place. Sunny grimaced and shook her head, a faint attempt to get Olaf’s and Esme’s voices out of her head as she began to remember the cruel, vicious details of the villain’s plot to murder her and her siblings. Sunny began to shake where she sat as Esme gripped Klaus’ arm tighter. Klaus grimaced and groaned in pain as he glanced towards Sunny with pleading eyes. Sunny felt a knot in her stomach, knowing the last time that she had used her teeth to help someone it had ended badly for her. She remembered the muzzle, the beating, the drugging. Even the time she bit Olaf to get him to release Klaus which resulted in her own kidnapping. Fear was paralyzing her to her core. But then Sunny remembered what Olaf told her about what he had done to Klaus and she took another look at Violet, who was bruised and tied, and those factors alone shattered Sunny’s fear and replaced it with pure hatred.

“ Let’s go, brats. Maybe if you’re lucky, we’ll wait until the girl wakes up to dispose of the brats we don’t need,” Esme hissed in Klaus’ ear, loud enough for Sunny to hear. Sunny glared at the woman before shakily standing up on the gurney and running towards the vile woman with each wobbly step, she caused the gurney that held her and her older sister to shake.

Violet shook her head from side to side, faster than before but still, her movements were halted by the anesthetic. “The...earth’s...ending!” Violet shouted.

Sunny reached her destination as she bit Esme’s wrist as hard as she could causing the woman to let go of her brother and scream in pain.

“ You vile beast!” Esme hissed. “ The baby bit me!”

Sunny quickly sat down as Esme gripped her own arm. Klaus took this opportunity to turn towards the villainess, giving her a rough shove which caused her to plummet to the ground, effectively breaking the stiletto shoes that she was still wearing. Esme crashed into the ground with a growl as she reached for Klaus’ pant leg. But it was too late, she gripped onto the air because the children were already running out of the operating theater.

A cry rose from the remaining audience as the Baudelaires sped past Olaf’s associates. Esme screamed a high pitched shriek causing several people to cringe and cover their ears. “ AFTER THEM YOU IMBECILES!” she screeched to the troupe who then realized what had just happened and began running after the children in hot pursuit.

“They won't get away from me!” Hal cried as he gripped the side of Violet’s gurney.

“Hal... please.” Klaus whimpered as the gurney slowed to a halt.

“You destroyed my library!” Hal cried defensively.

Both Klaus and Sunny glanced behind them and then Sunny glanced back at the old man. Butterflies fluttered in the youngest Baudelaire’s stomach as Hal glared at her from behind his tiny glasses. Unlike Olaf’s associates, Hal was not an evil person, well as far as they know. My research says otherwise. He merely was someone who loved the Library of Records and was trying to capture the people he believed had set it on fire, and it pained Sunny to see that he thought she was an evil criminal, instead of an unlucky toddler. But she knew she did not have time to explain to Hal what had really happened. She scarcely had time to say a single word, and yet that is precisely what the youngest Baudelaire orphan did.

“Sorry,” Sunny said to Hal and gave him a big smile. Then she opened her mouth a little wider and bit Hal’s hand as gently as she could so that he would let go of the gurney without getting hurt. Which is the exact opposite thing she did to Esme.

“Ow!” Hal whined. “The baby bit me!”

“ Join the club!” Esme screamed as she began to stand up. Klaus rolled his sisters out of the door, he stopped pushing as Violet shook her head left and right trying to move the hair out of her eyes. Sunny looked at her brother with confusion but then understood what he was doing when he grabbed a mop and successfully barricaded the door to the operating theater. Klaus gripped onto his sister’s gurney once more as Olaf’s troupe reached the door and were trying to use their combined weight and strength to break Klaus’ barricade. Klaus didn’t stick around long enough to find out just how handy this idea was because he began racing down the hallway.

“Oh no no no,” Klaus cried as he took a quick glance behind him. He tried to run faster than before, he glanced down at Violet who was shaking her head still. She squinted up at him, her face was unreadable. Klaus could see that his sister’s eyes weren’t focusing. Sunny leaned closer to Violet to brush her sister’s hair from her face gently.

Klaus was running fast enough to when he reached the first corner, he skids around it rapidly, nearly losing his footing. He glanced towards the direction that he had just come from and he could see Olaf’s troupe running and chasing him.

“Don’t let them get away!” The hook-handed man yelled. “Tackle them!”

“This is like PE class all over again!” The Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender whined.

“Tell me about it!” Klaus called back to them, remembering Olaf’s cruel scheme back at Prufrock.

“Stop! Murderers!” a doctor behind the troupe called out.

“Weeeeeeeeeee,” Violet cried as she jerked her wrists up trying to clap in excitement. Violet’s wrists made a harsh, loud impact as her restraints caught her limp arms. Her eyes rounder her sockets as she looked at Klaus confused. “Where….what….am I….?” she asked, her voice ringing of utter confusion.

Klaus and Sunny glanced at one another worriedly. “Sunny, start biting through her restraints,”

Sunny merely nodded as she began to chew through the leather belt that was around her sister’s wrists and ankles.

“Attention!” announced Olaf’s voice.

“ Oh, would you just shut the fuck up! ” Klaus yelled towards the intercom as loudly as he could, utterly frustrated with Olaf’s bullshit.

“This is Mattathias, the Head of Human Resources! The murderous arsonist orphans are escaping on a gurney! Capture them at once! Also, the fire is spreading throughout the hospital! You might want to evacuate!”

“Hurry!” Sunny cried. As Sunny broke through one of Violet’s restraints, the two Baudelaires watched happily as Violet slowly lifted up her wrist, but their happiness soon turned into horror when they realized she was unable to hold it up for too long and the two younger siblings watched as their older sister’s wrist fell limp on the side of the gurney, dangling lifelessly.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” Klaus cried, trying to increase his speed. Klaus steered the gurney and ran as fast as his legs could carry him while Sunny held on for dear life as she worked on freeing her older sister. “ Violet, wake up, please! ” he cried, his voice thick with tears of desperation. “ I can’t do this…”

“I’m...try...ing….” Violet muttered, squinting around her. The anesthesia made everything seem faint and foggy, and it was almost impossible for her to speak, let alone move.

“ Try harder, please.” Klaus pleased. “You can help push.”

Sunny just glanced at him with bewilderment. “She can’t push,” Sunny told her brother, Klaus merely rolled his eyes and ignored Sunny.

“Violet…” Klaus called out as he continued to push the gurney. Violet’s eyes flickered open and closed. “The hospital’s on fire…and I don’t know what to do!” he cried in a panicky voice.

Violet only smiled a goofy smile up at him. “Y-you...came...back...for...for me?” her own voice was drowsy from the anesthetic but she was choking on her own tears.

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another and then at her. “Why wouldn’t we?” Klaus asked.

“Sister!” Sunny yelled.

Violet, still a bit woozy from the anesthetic, slowly glanced around as Sunny freed her other wrist, she put her gentle, limp hand on Sunny’s head, smiling at her. Tears falling from her eyes. “...you...you both...came back,” she said happily, her demeanor immediately changing to sadness. “B-b-but...but...O-Olaf...s-s-said you...left…” she cried, trying to use her limp hand to wipe away her tears, but every attempt was slow and never truly wiped away the entire tear. Sunny smiled at her big sister and leaned closer to wipe Violet’s tears from her eyes.

“Fuck what Olaf said!” Klaus shouted. “We would never leave you!” Klaus felt a little insulted that Violet would believe Olaf when he had told this blatant lie but he also could fault Violet, who knew what she had been through and for how long she had been drugged. Maybe she is only believing what Olaf had said because she was high on the knockout drugs. Klaus was cautiously running through the burning hospital, still panicked beyond belief. He understood why Violet was a bit distracted but he would much rather have this discussion when he and both of his sisters were out of danger.  

Sunny smiled down at her sister. “Ohana.” the toddler stated and Klaus knew that this needed no translation even to a very disoriented Violet. Violet smiled at her baby sister as Sunny pulled Violet’s locket from around her neck. “We love you, too,” Sunny said, as she put the locket around Violet’s neck gently.

The troupe was hot on their tails as the children passed another group of confused nurses and doctors. “Those must be those murderers Mattathias was talking about!” one cried. “Let’s help those other doctors capture them!”

Klaus steered the gurney around a corner, as several more hospital staff joined the chase. “Violet...we’re in trouble…”

“I...get...that…”

“Wake up,” Klaus begged Violet, who was looking around her in a confused way. “ Please, Violet!”

“Door!” Sunny shrieked as Violet limply grabbed Sunny in hopes of shielding her of any danger as Klaus pushed the gurney through the doors. Once the children were through the doors, Klaus was about to go down a specific hallway until the children caught a glimpse of bright orange flames.

“...what’s...that…?” Violet asked confused, gazing towards the bright orange flames until she couldn’t see them anymore. Sunny took this time to carefully crawl down to Violet’s ankles where she could see her sister had also been restrained. Sunny quickly began chewing through a third of Violet’s restraints until she heard a snap! Of the leather fabric. Sunny smiled as she crawled to the other side and began working on the final restraint.

“I told you there’s a fire and I need your help to escape,” Klaus pleaded.

“F...fire?” Violet repeated. “...where?”

“Here. In the hospital,”

“W-why...are...are we...in...a hos...pital?”

“That’s a rather long and depressing story,” Klaus said. “It’s also not important…” Klaus smiled at Sunny when he saw her sit up and give him two thumbs up, her way of indicating that Violet was no longer restrained.

“Get back here you brats!” the bald man yelled.

Klaus continued to push the gurney that carried his sisters as he watched frantic hospital staff run right past him, more concerned about finding safety than capturing the children. Klaus pushed every empty gurney he passed behind him in hopes of slowing down the angry mob.

“Stairs!” Sunny yelled, pointing to a staircase. Klaus turned the gurney in the direction his sister indicated. Sunny’s eyes widened with fear once she realized what her brother might be doing. She quickly crawled back closer to Violet and him, preferring to be on that side of the gurney if she was right about what Klaus was planning.

“Sunny, hold on,” Klaus cried as he jumped on to the back of the gurney holding on for dear life as Sunny took the opportunity of grabbing onto both Klaus and Violet, her way of attempting to keep them from falling off. The children began to roll down the stairs, bouncing up and down with each step. It was a fast, slippery ride that reminded Klaus of playgrounds that he would visit with his parents when he was younger. At a curve in the staircase, Klaus scraped his shoes against the floor to stop the gurney, and then leaned over to look at one of the hospitals’ confusing maps.

“I’m trying to figure out if we should go through that door,” he said, pointing at a door marked ‘Ward for People with Nasty Rashes’. “Or continue down the staircase.”

“We can’t go down,” Sunny cried as she pointed a finger downward. Klaus looked and even Violet managed to focus enough to look down where Sunny was pointing. Down the staircase, just past the next landing, was a flickering, orange glow, as if the sun was rising out of the hospital basement, and a few wisps of dark black smoke were curling up the staircase like the tentacles of some ghostly animal. It was an eerie sight that had haunted the two younger Baudelaires in their dreams, ever since that fateful day at the beach when all their trouble began and had only haunted Violet since she had been sent to Prufrock. For a moment, the three children were unable to do anything but stare down at the orange glow and the tentacles of smoke, and think about all they had lost because of what they were looking at.

“Fire,” Violet cried faintly.

“Yes,” Klaus sighed. “It’s spreading up this staircase. We’ve got to turn and go back upstairs.”

From upstairs, the orphans listened to Olaf’s troupe members arguing.

“No up,” Sunny said.

“I can see that,” Klaus replied. He gave a low growl as he turned his sisters’ gurney towards the door marked ‘Ward for People with Nasty Rashes’, having made this rash decision, Klaus turned the gurney and wheeled it through the door, just as his favorite person began speaking over the intercom.

“Fuck you!” Sunny screamed at the intercom.

“This is Mattathias!” he said hurriedly. “All associates of mine, continue to search for those children! Everyone else, gather in front of the hospital! Either we will catch those murderous orphans as they escape, or like their pesky parents ... they’ll be burned to a crisp! ” The children shuddered as they all listened to the unhinged madman laugh into the intercom microphone once more. Laughing as though he was a Disney villain who had just momentarily won against the protagonist.

Klaus and Sunny looked at each other worriedly when they watched Violet shudder. She slowly wrapped her arms around herself. “I-I...I don’t….l-like...fires,” she admitted softly, not looking either sibling in the eye. “...I...lost...m-my....dad...in a….f-f-fire,”

Klaus frowned as Sunny merely nodded. “We know. We did, too, sis.” Klaus cried.

“Have each other,” Sunny explained.

The children’s eyes got wide when they heard Olaf’s troupe members once again approaching. Klaus rolled his sisters’ gurney into the Ward for People with Nasty Rashes and saw that Mattathias was right. The gurney was racing down a hallway, and the children could see another orange glow at the far end of it.

“...no…” Violet whimpered. The children heard another brief argument behind them as Olaf’s associates lumbered down the stairs. The three siblings were trapped in the middle of a hallway that led only to a fiery death or Olaf’s clutches.

Klaus started breathing heavily as he was trying to weigh his options in his head. While Violet wrapped her limp arms around Sunny. Klaus leaned down and stopped the gurney. “We’d better hide,” he said, jumping to the floor. “It’s too dangerous to be rolling around like this.”

“Where?” Sunny asked desperately, as Klaus helped Violet sit up on the gurney. Klaus quickly took Sunny from Violet’s arm and set her on the ground.

“Someplace close by,” Klaus said, grabbing Violet’s arm. “The anesthesia is still wearing off, so Violet can’t walk too far.”

“I’ll...try…” Violet murmured, stepping unsteadily off the gurney and leaning onto Klaus. Sunny glanced around nervously for a hiding place. Her eyes quickly caught a door that read ‘Supply Closet’ and even if Sunny Baudelaire wasn’t the best reader, she still pointed her small finger towards the door.

“Over there!” Sunny cried as she raced towards the supply closet and opening it up.

“I guess so,” Klaus said doubtfully as he leaned Violet up against the wall. Violet began sliding down the moment that she was left to stand on her own. Klaus quickly turned towards the now empty gurney that Olaf had used to restrain his older sister. He gripped the gurney and waited until he saw the angry mob running towards him. He pushed the gurney with all his might towards the crowd that was trying to help Olaf capture the children. The gurney hit Brandon with enough force that it caused him to fall to the ground, wincing at the pain that had been afflicted on him.

Klaus hurried back to his older sister, who was practically napping on the floor. “Come on, Vi. This way. This way.”  He dragged the limp Violet towards the supply closet as he gripped the doorknob with one hand while balancing his sister with the other. “I don’t know what we can do in a supply closet, but at least it’ll hide us for a few moments.”

Klaus helped his older sister through the door, immediately slamming the door behind him and locking it. Except for a small window in the corner, the closet looked identical to the one where Klaus and Sunny had hidden to decipher the anagram in the patient list. It was a small room, with only one flickering lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, and there were rows of white medical coats hanging from hooks, a rusty sink, huge cans of alphabet soup, cases of surgical tubing, and small boxes of rubber bands, and a small chair. But as the two younger Baudelaires looked at these supplies, they did not look like devices for translating anagrams or impersonating medical professionals. Klaus and Sunny looked at all these objects, and then at their older sister. To their relief, Violet’s face was a bit less pale, and her eyes were a bit less confused, which was a very good sign. The eldest of the three orphans needed to be as awake as she could be, because the items in the closet were looking less and less like supplies and more and more like materials for an invention.

You see, when Violet Snicket was five years old, she won her first invention contest with an automatic rolling pin she’d fashioned out of a broken window shade and six pairs of roller skates. As the judges placed the gold medal around her neck, she could remember her father saying, “I bet you could invent something with both hands tied behind your back.” and the judges agreed while Violet smiled proudly. She knew, of course, that her father and the judges did not mean that they were going to tie her hands behind her back and watch as she tried to invent something, but merely that she was so skilled at inventing that she could probably build something even with substantial interference, a phrase which here means ‘something getting in her way’.

The young Snicket girl had proved the judges and her father right dozens of times, of course, inventing everything from a lockpick to inventing a way to get herself and her younger brother out of jail back in the Village of Fowl Devotees with the substantial interference of being in a hurry and not having the right tools. But violet thought she had never had as much substantial interference as the lingering effects of anesthesia as she squinted at the objects in the supply closet and tried to focus on what her siblings were saying.

“Violet,” Klaus cried worriedly, watching Violet shakily push her hair behind her ear. Klaus couldn’t tell if she was shaking from anxiety and fear or if she was cold seeing that she was now barefoot and all she wore was a hospital gown. “I know that the anesthesia hasn’t completely worn off, but we need you to try to invent something...I can’t...last time I...I invented...something...he…he...” Klaus said as he closed his eyes slowly beginning to shake, placing his arms across his chest.

“Shhhh…” Violet cooed for longer than she wanted because her brain felt like mush and she forgot what she was focusing on. “...I...know,” she said faintly, rubbing her eyes with her hands slowly in a desperate attempt to focus her eyes.

“We’ll...we will...help you all we can,” Klaus said as he slowly began to calm down.

“My teeth are at…” Sunny chimed in, showing off her sharp teeth. “At your service.”

“Just tell us what we need to do,” Klaus cried.

“T-tell me….again...wha...what’s hap...pen...ning?” Violet asked, her head spinning as she slowly slid down the wall she was leaning on. Klaus ran to Violet’s aide hurriedly standing her up and sitting her down in the chair that Sunny had pushed towards her older siblings.

“The fire is consuming this entire hospital, and we have to get out of here quickly!,” he cried desperately as the henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, Brandon, and a few others from the angry mob began to knock on the door. “Oh and not only is Olaf after us, but another angry mob who thinks we’re criminals are right outside this door.”

Klaus ran towards the door to push his back against it, hoping to keep the mob out of the supply closet. He was well aware that he had already locked the door but he felt more secure pressing his weight against the door.

“Open up in there!” the Henchperson cried as the knocking ceased.

“What? No!” Klaus cried, giving an incredulous face towards the mere thought of surrendering now.

“Please,” the henchperson cried as they began to knock on the door once.

“ Violet! ” Klaus cried. “Right now would be a really good time for one of your plans!”

“Brain blast!” Sunny cried desperately.

“Wait, I thought I was Jimmy Neutron,” Klaus asked confused.

“Eh, you both are,” Sunny replied, with a shrug of her shoulders.

Violet slowly leaned back in the chair, pointing a limp finger at the window. “Open...the window,” she directed as Klaus gazed from the locked door to the window. He sighed as he ran towards the window opening it.

“Now what?” he asked.

“H-how...high...are we?” Violet asked, giggling slightly.

The middle orphan glanced outside. “It looks like we’re on the third floor, maybe the fourth. That’s probably around thirty or forty feet, I think,” he responded. “There’s so much smoke in the air, so it’s hard to tell. We’re not so high up, but we’re too high to jump.”

“Climb?” Sunny asked.

“There’s an intercom speaker right below us,” Klaus explained. “I suppose we could hang on to that and climb down to the bushes below, but we’d be climbing in front of a huge crowd…”

He turned to Violet, whose eyes were slowly closing, he could tell by how she strained her face that she was desperately trying to keep her eyes open. Klaus looked to Sunny worriedly. “ Vi, please,” he cried. “I hate to pressure you...but...I can’t do this without you,” he felt tears forming in his eyes.

“Can you invent something that can make us fly?” Sunny asked slowly.

Violet frowned and closed her eyes, slowly shaking her head. “S-sorry...no...fairy...dust here…” she cried.

“Violet?” Klaus called out, after a moment of watching his sister keep her eyes closed. “You’re not falling asleep, are you?” he asked gently but frantically.

“No,” she replied. “I’m...thinking.” she sighed. “We...need...to distract...the crowd...before...we...climb down,”

The two younger orphans nodded as Violet pointed a finger towards her brother. “Open...those...boxes...of rubber...bands. String them...together...to make...a cord,”

Klaus looked down and watched the volunteers giving evacuated hospital patients balloons. “But how will that distract the crowd?”

“I...don’t...know…” Violet admitted and looked to the floor. “I...I can’t...do this,”

Klaus and Sunny’s eyes widened when Violet said that. “Yes you can,” Sunny cried.

“I’m having...trouble...focusing...my...inventing...skills,” she admitted as her eyes filled to the brim with tears. “I’m...sorry,” Violet shakily tried to reach into her pocket until she realized she didn’t have any pockets. She began to shudder as she sat. Remembering her time as Olaf’s captive and how he had forced her to change from her overalls to the hospital gown. “He...he...he...he took my...last...ribbon…”

“Help,” Sunny said, as she walked over to her big sister.

“Don’t cry for help, Sunny,” Klaus said miserably. “No one will help us,”

“Help,” Sunny insisted as the youngest orphan grabbed a hold of one of the medical coats that hung on the coat rack. She opened her mouth wide and she bit down on the fabric, ripping a small strip off the coat with her teeth. Then she held up the strip of white cloth and handed it to Violet. “Ribbon,” Sunny explained as Violet gave her baby sister a weary smile. With unsteady fingers, the eldest orphan tied her hair up to keep it out of her eyes, using the thin strip of fabric instead of her hair ribbon. She closed her eyes again, and then slowly nodded.

“I know...it’s silly…” she admitted. “But...it helps,” she placed a shaky, pale hand on Sunny’s head. “Thank...you...Sunny,”

The eldest orphan sighed as she strained her face still trying to overcome the effects of the anesthetic. “Klaus...get to work...on the...rubber...bands. S-Sunny...can you open….one of these...soup cans?”

“Yes, I opened some,” Sunny began. “Earlier to help Klaus.”

Violet smiled at the toddler. With her hair up in a ribbon, even if the ribbon was spurious, her voice sounded a bit stronger and more confident than it had before, although both siblings could tell she was still disoriented. “We need...an...empty...can...asap,”

The three siblings worked quickly. Klaus opened a box of rubber bands and began tying them together using the Devil’s Tongue Knot. Sunny began to gnaw at the top of a can of soup and Violet slowly scooted her chair towards the small sink and splashed water in her face to try to make herself as alert as possible. Finally, Klaus had a long cord of rubber bands curled at his feet like a snake, Sunny had taken the top off a can of soup and was quickly pouring the contents of the can down the sink, and Violet was staring anxiously at the bottom of the closet door, from which a very thin wisp of smoke was crawling through.

“The fire...is...getting...closer,” she alerted her siblings. Even with the fire closing in on the orphans, the crowd outside the door hadn’t left and continued to bang on the door. Klaus imagined if it were any other henchperson who had found the children, that door would be torn off the hinges by now so Klaus was happy that it was the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender who was leading the angry mob.

“The cord is all ready,” Klaus cried. Violet merely frowned.

“Not...long...enough,” she cried, looking around.

“Tube?” Sunny asked as she pulled a long piece of surgical tubing out of a bin that was placed on a few of the shelves in the supply closet.

Violet merely nodded. “It’ll...have...to...do. Klaus...tie...our cord...and the...tube...together,”

Klaus looked at his sister confused but followed her orders. “Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough? How can we distract a crowd with an empty soup can?”

“Incompetent,” Sunny chimed in which meant, “I mean I know they are all incompetent and unhelpful as Mr. Poe but I don’t think they are all stupid enough to be distracted by an empty soup can.”

Klaus quickly translated for Violet. Violet gave a light giggle. “It’s not...an...empty...soup can. Well...not...anymore,” she explained slowly. “Now...it’s...a spurious...intercom. Sunny...poke one...hole in….the bottom...of the can,”

“Wha?” Sunny replied in complete and utter confusion, but she did as her elder sister asked because Sunny trusted Violet wholeheartedly even if she didn’t understand the point. Sunny knew that Violet’s inventive skills had helped save her, herself, and their brother before. So she quickly poked a hole in the bottom of the can using her sharpest tooth.

“Now...Sunny and I...are going...to hold...this near...the window…” she explained. “But we...must...make sure...the crowd...doesn’t see it…”

“I don’t follow,”

“The crowd...has to...think your...voice...is coming...from the...intercom.”

“My voice?”

“I...can’t...I’m too...drowsy...and I...sound...nothing...like...Olaf,”

“I don’t either!” Klaus cried defensively.

Violet put a limp hand on Klaus’ shoulder. “I know...but...the crowd...will know...something’s...up...if I do...it,”

Klaus sighed but nodded his head. Violet and Sunny held the empty can near the window, and Klaus leaned in and stuck his head inside it as if it were a mask. The middle orphan took a deep breath to gather his courage, and then he began to speak. From inside the can his voice sounded scratchy and faint as if he was talking with a piece of aluminum foil over his mouth, which was precisely how Violet wanted him to sound.

“Attention!” Klaus announced. “This is Mattathias Medical-School, head of Human Resources.” he rolled his eyes as he continued. “The murderous orphans have been spotted in the unfinished wing of the hospital.” Violet smiled as she and Sunny gave him a thumbs up. “We require everyone’s assistance in making sure they do not escape. Please rush over there right away. That is all!”

Klaus pulled his head out of the can and looked at his sisters. “Do you think it worked?”

Sunny opened her mouth to answer but she was interrupted by the voice of Brandon Spats. “Did you hear that?” the children heard him say. “The criminals are over in the unfinished wing of the hospital! Come on, everyone.”

“Maybe some of us should stay here at the front entrance, just in case,” the children heard Hal suggest.

Klaus sighed as he stuck his head back into the can that his sisters were holding. “Attention! This is Mattathias! No one should stay at the front entrance of the hospital! It’s too dangerous! Proceed at once to the unfinished wing. That is all.”

The three children snuck glances outside the window as the crowd slowly began to walk away from the front of Heimlich Hospital.

“It...worked,” Violet cried in disbelief. “We...fooled them…”

“We’re as good at tricking people as Olaf is,” Klaus commented, a frown forming on his face. “And at disguises...we fooled everyone but him,”

“Anagrams,” Sunny added.

“And lying...to...people,” Violet cried, thinking of Hal, the shopkeeper at Last Chance General Store and all the Volunteers Fighting Disease.

Klaus sighed. “Maybe we’re becoming villains after all,”

“No!” Sunny shrieked. “Don’t say that.”

“We’re...not...villains…” Violet countered, even if her gut feeling was saying something completely different. “We had...to do...tricky...things...in order...to save...our lives.”

“Olaf has to do tricky things,” Klaus countered. “To save his life,”

“Different,” Sunny argued.

Violet merely frowned. “Maybe...Klaus...is right. Maybe...it’s...not...different.” Violet said sadly. “Maybe…”

Violet was interrupted by the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender sighing angrily and now using a fire extinguisher to break down the door that separated them from the three terrified and morally grey orphans.

“We can discuss this later,” Klaus said. “We have to get the fuck out of here!”

“Climb?” Sunny asked, looking at the rubber bands and surgical tubing.

“We’re not...climbing...we’re...bouncing,” Violet explained.

“What!?” Klaus cried.

“Bounce?” Sunny asked doubtfully.

Violet merely nodded. “Klaus, tie...our rope...to this pipe,” she said, pointing to a pipe that was located right next to the door. “This way...it breaks...our fall,”

“Is this safe? ” Klaus asked, taking another look out the window and feeling anxious about his sister’s plan and how high they are.

“Plenty...of...people...bounce from...high...places on long...rubbery...cords...for fun,” violet said. “So...we can...do it...to escape,”

Klaus sighed. “I don’t know...this sounds risky,” he cried. “For one...I doubt the cord is long enough.”

“Look...it is... risky,” Violet admitted. “But...not...as risky...as a fire,”

“Or Olaf,” Sunny added nervously.

The Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender continued to pound on the door of the supply closet with the fire extinguisher. Black smoke was beginning to pour through the crack as if the henchperson was pouring ink into the closet. Even the air outside was unsettling and filled with smoke. Klaus sighed and hurriedly tied the cord to the pipe and then tugged on it to make sure it was secure.

“Okay...who’s...going...first?” Violet asked drowsily. She was leaning against the wall again since she didn’t have all the feeling in her legs back yet.

“First?” Sunny asked, confused.

Klaus merely gave her a look of utter disbelief.

“Fine...you two...are nervous.” Violet cried, shrugging her shoulders. Assuming that her siblings’ issue was the invention’s safety and not her insisting they take turns. “I...invented...it, so I’d...better...test it.”

“No,” Klaus said simply.

“Then...go first,” Violet said.

“We’re not taking turns, Vi!”

“Together,” Sunny explained.

“If we...all...go down...together,” Violet said. “I’m...not sure...the cord will...hold,”

“Tough shit,” Klaus replied.

“Fine,” Violet cried. “ Sunny, will...go first...then,”

Klaus growled and rushed over to Violet, seemingly irritated with his older sister. He grabbed her harshly by the shoulders, she fell slightly in his grasp which made him instantly regret rushing up to her. But he knew he had to drive a point across. He gripped her shoulders and shook her a bit. The way she was limp from the anesthetic made it look like Klaus was harshly shaking his sister but Sunny knew that wasn’t the case. “ Listen to me very carefully, Vi!” he hissed. “ There is no first! We are not separating ever again!” Violet stared back at him, he could still tell that she couldn’t entirely focus on anything. “ This family sticks together!” he yelled causing her to start to tear up. “ We are not splitting up!”

“But...but...b-but…” she sniffled. “Snickers...Snick...S-Snickets...take care...of...their own.” she reasoned as she put a shaky hand on her locket.

Sunny merely looked up at Violet. “So do Baudelaires.”

Violet only shook her head. “B-but...Olaf...Olaf said…”

Klaus jumped when it sounded like the Henchperson was finally creating damage against the door. “Goddammit, Vi! Fuck Olaf! I hope he fucking burns to death in this fire!” Klaus cried as he released his grip on sister but kept a gentle hand on her shoulder. “ Especially if he hurt you.” Klaus frowned as he said it, purposely emphasizing the word ‘hurt’ to try to hint at Olaf’s disgusting, vile behavior towards Violet that was different from his behavior towards Klaus and Sunny. Violet looked towards Klaus and then to Sunny, eventually frowning and softly shaking her head and giving a small shrug in response.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the three siblings until Violet turned towards both Klaus and Sunny. “It won’t...support all...of us,” she explained.

“We’re not leaving anyone behind,” he said firmly. “Not this time. Either we all escape, or none of us do.”

“But if...none of...us do,” Violet said tearfully. “Then there...won’t be...anyone left...Olaf will...have won.”

Klaus shook his head as he reached into his pockets and pulled out one of the old photographs that he and Sunny had retrieved back when they lived at their Aunt Josephine’s. Klaus unfolded it and his sisters could see it was a photograph taken some years before Violet was even born. In the middle of the photograph, just like the one hidden in the depths of Lemony Snicket’s wallet, stood three people. All smiling and holding each other's hands. Klaus pointed first towards the tall, skinny man with glasses, then he pointed to a brown-haired woman who wore a fierce smile as she held the hands of the men she loved, and then finally he pointed to a man who wore a frown on his face, and a fedora and trenchcoat in hopes of masking his identity. “Jacques Snicket...your uncle...said there was a survivor of a recent fire ,” Klaus explained, his voice thick with tears.

Violet’s eyes widened. “The film...do you...still...have it?”

“No...we had to give it to Esme to save you,” he explained. “But that’s not important.” he looked from his little sister to his big sister. “We have to survive and find them. All of us . We all deserve to see who the survivor is. We all deserve that happy ending we’ve been wanting for a while now.” the middle orphan began to tear up. As his guilt began to surface. “and I’d rather die than lose either one of my sisters... again.” The bookworm quickly wiped away a few of his tears. “I can’t...I won’t let him take either of you, again.”

Klaus looked down at Sunny and then to Violet. She stood shakily before him in a mere hospital gown and she was bruised. Her cheeks were still red, her wrists and ankles had severe chafing from her struggling against her restraints, that they were either raw or simply pink. “I’m so sorry, Violet.” Klaus cried.

“Not your fault,” Sunny said as she watched Violet struggle to speak.

He looked down at Sunny. “I’m so sorry to you, too, Sunny. He only got you because you were protecting me. You both...were protecting me when he took you . ” he cried.

“Not your fault,” Sunny reassured. “I’d do it again...in a heartbeat,”

Violet nodded slowly in agreement.

The three siblings were tearing up as the Henchperson created the beginnings of a hole in the wall.

“Go time,” Sunny cried. “Escape now. Feelings later.”

“Agreed,” the two older siblings cried, although Violet sounded dizzier than Klaus.

Klaus picked up Sunny as Violet held the surgical tubing up so Klaus could spin himself and Sunny, effectively wrapping the tubing around the two siblings. He glanced towards Violet. “ We are going to survive...and find out what happened. We’ll find the survivor and either bring Olaf to jail...or kill him.”

“Down for murder,” Sunny cried.

“I...still...think if...we take...turns,” Violet protested frantically. “There’s a...better chance...that one of us...will survive.”

“All or nothing,” Sunny cried.

“We’re not leaving anyone behind,” Klaus said firmly. “ That’s what makes us different from Olaf and Esme.”

“ Ohana,” Sunny cried as she reached out and pulled the front of Violet’s hospital gown. The eldest orphan was still so limp that her minuscule effort succeeded and Violet now leaned on her and their brother. “ Just us,” she told Violet as Klaus wrapped a tight arm around both of his sisters as he slowly spun Violet around with them as he inched towards the window.

Violet didn’t fight. She didn’t struggle. She leaned in closer to her siblings feeling their warmth against her cold arms. “You’re right,” she said finally.

The hole in the door got even bigger as Violet shrieked.

“Don’t worry, Vi. We’re not leaving you behind again,” Klaus told her. Violet nodded as she did her best to wrap her arms tightly around her two younger siblings.

“I’ll...hold...on...to...you,” she explained.

“Same here,” Sunny cried as she wrapped her tiny arm around the arm that carried her and forced her tiny hand into her sister’s.

As Klaus carried his sisters to the window, he looked down once more, immediately regretting his decision. He glanced at the rubber band cord that Violet had him make and then at the surgical tubing he had tied it, too, and had now wrapped a good chunk of it around the three siblings.

“If it’s forty feet, we won’t make it.” He predicted.

“If it’s...say...maybe...thirty…,’ Violet began as she followed Klaus’ gaze down.

“We might,” Sunny shrugged.

The three children carefully made their way out of the window onto the small platform that lay alongside the window.

The huddled siblings barely fit on the ledge as the siblings looked down. This was at the same time as Olaf’s henchperson had successfully broken a hole in the door.

“Here I am, Nurse Lucafont.” the Henchperson called inside the empty supply closet. Utterly confused as to how the supply closet was empty. The children could hear the henchperson’s voice and look at one another nervously and then looked back down.

“I’m scared,” Violet admitted drowsily.

“I’m frightened,” Klaus cried.

“Sheer terror,” Sunny chimed.

As if they were thinking the exact same thing, each of the siblings gripped onto their two siblings as tight as they could. Violet managed to shout, “Hold on tight!” as the three siblings leaped out of the window of Heimlich Hospital.

STOP!

I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of several cruel twists of fate, a phrase which here means that nothing has happened the way I thought it should. Once I was a content individual, with a comfortable home, loving family that I loved very much, and a plethora of bedtime stories that were too strange to have been true...but...all of those things have been taken away from me, and now the only trace I have of those happy days are the photos I store in my pockets. As I sit in this very tiny room, printing these words with this very large pen, I feel as if our lives have been nothing but some dismal play, and that the playwright who invented these cruel twists of fate is somewhere far above me, laughing and laughing at their creation. This is not a pleasant way to feel, but this is how my story goes.

Now, despite my extensive research and my associate’s knowledge of abandoned VFD libraries, there are many things in this world that I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike. I do not know why people start or join cults and I do not know how some people let revenge consume them to a highly unhealthy degree. I do not know how some people are brave enough to follow their passion in a world set out to destroy them. And I sadly, do not know how to stop the disastrous domino effect or fucked up twists of fates that seem to be plaguing several lives.

As such, I do not know where Violet Snicket or the Baudelaires are now, or if they are safe or if they are even still alive. But there are some things that I do know, thanks to the extensive research I’ve done investigating these cases, and one of them is that the window of the supply closet in the Ward for People with Nasty Rashes of Heimlich Hospital was not thirty or forty feet off the ground, as Klaus had guessed.

It’s twenty, which is exactly one foot higher than the length of the cord, so when the children leaped into the smoky air, clinging to each other for dear life, Violet’s invention worked perfectly. Like a yo-yo, the children bounced gently up and down, brushing their feet against one of the bushes planted in front of the hospital, and after a few bounces, Sunny released her grip on her siblings, although they kept theirs, and chewed through the elastic surgical tubing, biting through it just in time to smack Olaf’s henchperson in the face as they looked out the window. When the surgical tubing broke, Violet and Klaus fell the rest of the way to solid ground, Violet nearly toppling over. Klaus quickly put Sunny down and focused more of his attention and strength on Violet.

“We...made...it,” Violet cried.

“It was a close call,” Klaus agreed.

“But we survived,” Sunny argued.

The three siblings looked behind them at the hospital and saw just how close of a call it had been. The building looked like a fiery ghost, especially more so in a few places, with great bursts of flame coming from the windows, and oceans of smoke pouring from great gaping holes in the walls. The children could hear glass shattering as the windows burned away, and the crackle of wood as the floors began to fall through in some areas of the hospital. It occurred to the three children that their own homes must have looked like this on the day it burned down, and the three siblings stepped back from the burning building and huddled together as the air grew thick with ashes and smoke, obscuring the hospital from view.

“Where can we go?” Sunny asked.

“I don’t know. But any minute now someone’s bound to recognize us or realize that we’re not in the unfinished half of the hospital.” Klaus cried.

Klaus, with one hand holding Sunny’s and the other dragging Violet, began to walk away from the forming crowd. As more and more people pushed passed the children, rushing out of the hospital.

“Act casual,” Klaus told his sisters, noticing that Violet was adding more and more of her weight on to him.

“I’m...trying.;.”

Klaus glanced towards an empty ambulance. He tried to drag his sisters towards it in hopes of hot wiring it and driving far away from Olaf. But EMTs had beat him to it and began loading patients aboard.

“Keep your eyes open for those murderous brats!” one nurse yelled.

“I’ll find them. I know I will.” a volunteer fighting disease assured.

Klaus heard this and redirected himself and his sisters as he hurried behind a small half wall behind a few bushes in the front of the hospital. He was thankful for all the smoke in the air, it made this pitiful hiding place better.

“Stay down,” Klaus explained. “In The Encyclopedia of Escaping Arson, the author wrote that there’s more oxygen closer to the ground, so we can breathe more easily down here. But we need to get to some kind of shelter right away.”

Violet and Sunny scooted as close to Klaus as they could. Hoping to shrink themselves. Klaus and Violet both edged their heads up, Violet slowly beginning to focus better, as they gazed around for any way to escape. Klaus looked towards the left and Violet glanced towards the right, the smoky air was making it a bit difficult to see everything clearly.

“Where is there shelter?” Sunny asked. “Hospital is only building for miles.”

“...and it’s burning to the ground…” Klaus cried sadly.

“You!” a voice called out in the smoke. The three orphans froze. They did not freeze because a random passerby had recognized them and was pointing them out. They froze because the voice that had called out from the smoke was a voice all three siblings heard in their nightmares. Klaus gripped tightly to both of his sisters as Sunny let out a whimper and Violet let out a soft squeal as she and Klaus ducked their heads back down.

“He...didn’t...see...us, right?”

“I hope not,” Klaus cried.

The three children stayed as low as they could as they listened in on the madman’s rage.

“You!” Olaf called again, this time slamming his hand on the hood of his car. “Hooks for hands!” Olaf barked. “This way!”

The siblings breathed a quick sigh of relief, realizing that Olaf had not been referring to them but instead one of his henchpeople. With this newfound knowledge, Sunny slowly crawled over Klaus and Violet to etch her head around the edge of the half wall. Where only one eye could see Olaf while the other’s vision was obstructed.

Sunny watched a long, black shape emerge from the smoky air, and she could see it was an automobile, pulling up in front of the hospital. Not too far from the children. An automobile is somewhat like a shelter, but the siblings froze on the ground and dared not crawl an inch farther toward that car.

“Hurry up Esme!” Olaf yelled. “Hurry up! Or I’ll leave you behind!”

“We’re coming, darling!” Esme cried out as she hurried towards the car.

“Can you see the car in the smoke?” he asked.

“Yes, darling,” she replied. “Open the trunk I’ll throw the costumes in.” The three children held their breath as they listened to her odd footsteps as she walked right passed them, towards and around Olaf’s car.

“Oh, alright,” Olaf sighed, and Sunny watched in silence as the tall figure of her enemy stepped out of his vehicle.

“Wait up, Olaf!” the bald man yelled.

“You fool! I told you to call me Mattathias until we leave the hospital grounds!” Olaf growled as he opened the trunk. He watched as Esme threw the costumes in. He merely glared at her.

“What?”

He sighed angrily. “You lost my pet and the Baudelaires!” She opened her mouth to argue but he merely shook his head. “ But... it’s not only that! ” he yelled as he punched the roof of his car angrily. Esme rolled her eyes dismissively as she rounded the car and took her seat next to Olaf.

“You know this is horrific!” Esme whined. “We never found the sugar bowl after that stupid librarian told me it would be here!”

Olaf rolled his eyes at the mention of the sugar bowl.

“It’s worse than that,” he hissed.

“I know, and the bratty orphans escaped again,” Esme said rolling her eyes.

“Oh, it’s very, very worse than that,” he hissed in annoyance.

Esme looked to Olaf confused. Olaf slowly turned towards Esme as he took a deep breath, grasping the steering wheel tightly. “ There may be a survivor of a recent fire,” he hissed as her eyes widened, and then her expression shifted to match her fiery glare as she thought of the woman who had stolen everything from her.

“ Beatrice…!” Esme cried through gritted teeth.

Violet gasped as she heard sirens approaching. “The...police...and fire...fight...ers are here,”

“If they already thought we were murderous kidnappers, now they’ll think we’re all arsonists.” Klaus reasoned. “We need an escape,”

“Do...you...do you trust...me?” Violet asked after a moment of staring hard at Olaf’s trunk. The trunk was opened to where Violet could see that the lid of the trunk was peppered with tiny holes, bullet holes, it looked like, undoubtedly from being pursued by the police.

“...yeah?” Klaus answered back hesitantly. It was no lie that he trusted Violet with his life but her asking worried him for a number of reasons.

Violet leaned as close as she could to her siblings so she could whisper to them without being heard. “We’ve...got...to go in...there,” she said.

“Where?” Klaus whispered in reply.

“We... need to get...in O-Olaf’s...tr-trunk,” Violet reasoned.

“ Wha?!” Sunny shrieked in a horrified whisper.

“Are you still that high off the knock out drugs?” Klaus asked as he and Sunny glanced at one another in disbelief as if there was no way Violet had suggested for the three siblings to voluntarily stuff themselves into Olaf’s trunk.

“Oh yeah,” Violet said giggling. She placed her hand in Klaus’ hair. “You’ve got...rainbow... hair.” She gently slapped Klaus’ face. “Like...a clown,”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or serious,” Klaus replied in an annoyed tone.

“Doesn’t....matter. But that’s not...the point. We...have to avoid...getting cap...tured,” she said, her eyes rolling back slightly in her head. “and...find out...who the...survivor...is.”

“Getting in that trunk is getting captured!” Klaus argued.

Olaf took a deep breath and then glanced at one of his henchmen who stood outside of the car, looking around aimlessly. “Get in this car this instant! I’m leaving on the count of three! It’s been splendid setting this fire, but we’ve got to hunt down a certain...survivor...before those brats do!”

“Or VFD,” Esme added. “You know, the real VFD full of hypocrites, not those idiotic singers!”

“Just one second, boss. We’re waiting for Ainsley,” the Hook-Handed Man explained.

“I’m not going to wait around to find out if that fool lived or died!” Olaf yelled. “One!”

The Hook-Handed man tapped his hook worriedly on the roof of his boss’ car as he gazed around. Violet unknowingly lifted her head a bit until she felt as though the henchman had seen her and she ducked down worriedly.

“Y-you said you...trusted me,” Violet whined.

“I’d rather die than get into that fucker’s trunk!” Klaus hissed.

“Don’t you want to...bring him to justice?” Violet asked. “Don’t you...wanna find the...survivor? And clear...our names?”

Klaus looked to his sister, frowning. “Of course, I do. But I don’t want to die before we can!”

“No, no,” Sunny cried as she shook her head. “Been there...done that.”

Violet frowned as she placed her hands in her siblings and she held their hands as firmly as she could, to the point where it hurt to hang on to them. “Think of... everything... we survived together, ” she whispered, looking from her burdened brother to her scared sister. “We’ve lived through countless...unfortunate events...only to find ourselves... alone. ”

“Just us,” Sunny reminded her.

“I know…” Violet replied, smiling at Sunny. “But if one of...our parents...survived. It’ll all be worthwhile!” She released her grip on her siblings. “We have to find them...if it’s the last thing we do.”

Sunny sighed as she gazed at the gaping trunk, which looked like the mouth of some dark and smoky beast, eager to devour her and her siblings. As it had once devoured her and her friends, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, not too long ago. But she knew her big sister was right and she trusted Violet to get her and her siblings out of danger, not in it. “You’re right,” Sunny murmured finally. “Getting in that trunk is our only hope.”

Violet smiled as she looked towards Klaus, who merely shook her head defiantly. “You’re right. You’re right about all of that. But I’m sorry, I’m not getting into that trunk.”

“Klaus...come on,” Sunny pleaded.

“What choice do we have?” Violet asked. “Trust me...I wish we had another escape...but we don’t, Klaus.”

“Violet, I am not getting in that trunk and there’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise,” Klaus folded his arms across his chest. “You aren’t thinking straight, obviously. So I guess I’ll think of something.”

“ Two!” They heard Olaf shout to his henchpeople as the Hook-Handed Man smiled and rushed Ainsley into their boss’ car.

Klaus continued to shake his head at the sound of Olaf’s voice.

Violet rolled her eyes, tapped her finger on her chin deep in thought. She glanced at Sunny and a wicked smile grew on her face. “I...know..how to get...you in that trunk,”

“What did I just say?” Klaus asked. “I’m not getting in…” he began before Violet stood up shakily, picking up Sunny in the process and running stealthily towards Olaf’s trunk.

“No, you did not just…” Klaus cried angrily. “Dammit, Violet!” he hissed following her quickly, continuing to look behind the siblings to make sure that no one was following them.

Violet stumbled as she reached the trunk. She fell to the ground, shielding Sunny from the pavement. “Whoopsie,” she whispered.

Klaus catches up to his sisters and merely glares at Violet as the three crawl a few more inches to the trunk. “Of all the dirty handed tricks you could pull…” he started, in a hushed whisper.

“It got you over here...didn’t it?” Violet asked as she opened Olaf’s trunk slowly. The children ducked down low as the trunk lid stayed opening welcoming them inside with a damp, terrible odor that had Violet having second thoughts.

Violet stumbled awkwardly as she tried to maneuver herself into Olaf’s trunk while still kneeling down. “Give me a hand, please,” Violet begged her brother. Klaus sighed as he reluctantly helped Violet into the trunk.

“We’ll be able to breathe, right?” Sunny asked, worriedly as Violet rolled as far as she could allowing her brother and sister room. Violet felt her knee slam against something but she didn’t pay it any attention as she felt the shuffling of Olaf’s troupe member trying to get situated in the back seat.

“Yes,” Klaus whispered as he picked up Sunny. “Air will come through the bullet holes,” he explained to his baby sister as he laid her atop of their big sister. The second Sunny was laying down on Violet, she began to squirm and shake as if she were having a panic attack. Klaus frowned as he glanced down at Violet, who merely frowned back. Violet hastily unclasped her locket and handed it to Sunny.

“Sometimes when I’m scared…” Violet admitted. “The only thing that calms...me down. Is our Mama.” Violet shakily moved her hands to open the locket but she was having slight difficulties. Sunny reached up and opened the locket for her. Both sisters gazed up at the picture of their mother, smiling down on them.

Klaus sighed as he grabbed hold of the trunk. “This is not the sort of shelter I had in mind,” he said begrudgingly. “But...I guess it might do.”

“It’ll have to do,” Violet whispered to him. And with that, the middle orphan maneuvered himself inside his enemy’s trunk, beside his older sister.

“ Three!!” Olaf shouted as Violet simultaneously closed the trunk just as the bald man slammed the passenger back side door shut. Once Violet had closed the trunk, the siblings were left in utter darkness, and their shelter rattled and shook as Olaf started the engine and began to drive across the landscape, which was as flat and desolate as ever. But the children could not see outside, of course. In the blackness of the trunk, they could not see anything at all. Sunny whimpered and handed Violet back her locket.

“We’re right here, Sunshine,” Klaus whispered, trying to hide the fact that he, too, was terrified. They could only hear their long, shivering breaths as the air rushed through the bullet holes, and feel their shoulders tremble as they shivered in fear.

Klaus pulled Sunny a bit towards him so that she was now laying on both him and Violet and not squishing Violet entirely. Violet’s head rolled around as Olaf drove.

“Here,” Klaus whispered, prompting for Violet to lift her head. He placed his arm underneath his sister’s head giving her some comfort as Sunny grabbed onto Violet’s hand. Violet snuggled closer to her siblings still high on the anesthetic.

“You...guys came back...for me,” she cried, tears flowing.

“That’s what siblings do,” Sunny explained.

“You’re our sister,” Klaus agreed.

“Where to next, boss?’ the children could hear the Hook-Handed man ask.

“How the fuck would I know!?” Olaf yelled as he reached outside his window to remove a flyer that was obstructing his vision. “I’m not…”

He stopped once he read the flyer. “...a fortune teller. But I know who is,” he said wickedly as he began to laugh maniacally.

The children shifted slightly when Olaf slammed his foot on the gas. The three siblings huddled together as tightly as they could. Both Violet and Klaus held one of Sunny’s tiny hands. Both older siblings could feel their sister tremble as she laid on them inside Olaf’s trunk. They knew that she was having flashbacks of her time in captivity with the Quagmires. They were trying to do all they could to relax her.

As the three gazed outside the bullet holes of Olaf’s car, it was as if they were stargazing, although the siblings were all falling victim to their thoughts. Klaus sighed, breaking the silence.

“I guess...we’re still on the lam,” he whispered.

“We’re alive and...we’re together,” Violet countered.

Sunny held on tightly to her siblings’ hands trying to stay calm and not freak out that she had once again found herself inside Olaf’s trunk. The bitter stench was bringing back memories that Sunny would rather stay buried away from her psyche. She knew circumstances were slightly different, this time. She wasn’t forced into the trunk against her will, she had been persuaded by her elder sister to voluntarily enter the trunk. She had her siblings and she knew they would never let anyone hurt her and the biggest difference is that Olaf and Esme had no idea that she and her siblings were hitching a ride in his trunk.

Klaus’ eyes slowly began to fall as he slightly shifted. He was exhausted in more ways than one. But as he felt Violet shift her head slightly on his arm and Sunny grip tighter to his hand, he knew it was what he had to do. He didn’t know exactly what had happened to his sister during her time in Olaf’s clutches and he was scared that she might not know the answer and it pained him to know that Olaf was the only person that could give his sister closure on that topic. He sighed as quietly as he could. He wasn’t the happiest about how Violet convinced him to get into Olaf’s trunk but he would have to deal with it. Klaus was fighting the urge to sleep because he refused to be asleep if the children were discovered and he wouldn’t be able to fight for his sisters. He felt like he’s failed them so many times already, that he needs to step up his game and be there more for them. That’s what he vowed to do for his sisters and whoever the survivor was.

Violet held onto Sunny’s arm as she began to silently sob. She was still scared that they were now in the trunk of the man who wants to do nothing but harm them. She was still contemplating everything that had happened to her or what she suspected happened. Violet was unsure of a lot of things right now and how close she was to her siblings was one of them. In her head, Olaf and Esme’s words ring endlessly on a tiresome loop that was continually driving Violet insane. Violet still had huge insecurities but she was starting to doubt a few of her insecurities.

If what they said was true...Klaus had every chance to take Sunny and run...but they stayed. They rescued me. He kept himself and his sister in danger to save me . Why didn’t he take Sunny and run? She pondered to herself. She desperately hoped, Maybe just maybe Olaf was wrong and Klaus did see her as a sister, not just a protector.

Violet sighed, still coming down from the amount of anesthetic Olaf had administered to her. “What’s...that stanza...again?” she asked hastily.

“What?” Klaus whispered back, confused. His eyes were closed as if he had lost his fight against sleep.

“The Snicket lad?” Sunny whispered in the softest of whispers, terrified to see what Olaf would do if he heard the name ‘Snicket’ and then opened his trunk to find one and two Baudelaires.

Violet nodded. “You know...you guys are gonna love him,” she replied in a whisper.

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another both knowing what their sister meant. Although both younger siblings had different predictions when it comes to the survivor, they allowed Violet the courtesy of being able to freely share hers.

“If you drive away in secret,” Klaus whispered. “You’ll be a volunteer,”

“So don’t scream,” sunny whispered.

“When we take you…” Violet whispered.

“ The world is quiet here…” the three siblings recited simultaneously as they held on tighter to each other.

It was not the sort of shelter the children had in mind, never in their entire lives, but as they huddled as close together as they could, they guessed it might do. For these three orphans, if indeed they were still orphans, the shelter of Count Olaf’s trunk would have to do, until something better came along.

[mithranqueersmusings]

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XXV

Chapter: 25/28

Rating: T (Violence Warning)

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

John and Paul had been the first ones to jump into the shower, despite John's suggestion that the four of them could fit 'easily'.

"You're insane, John." George chuckled sleepily, himself and Ringo were lying under the covers.

"I think we're a little past pretending there's any boundaries between the four of us." John walked happily over to the bathroom naked.

"I'd like to keep you out of my shower time, thank you very much." George was leaning up on his elbows.

"Suit yourself, its your loss." John grinned before he shut the door behind himself and Paul.

Ringo felt pretty exhausted from the whole ordeal, both physically and mentally, he only hoped that John and Paul wouldn't be long in the shower so that he could refresh himself but something told him they were only getting started. The silence left behind was comfortable, and Ringo felt himself slipping into a light sleep as he felt George's warmth close beside him.

"How are you feeling, love?" George asked in a quiet voice.

"Exhausted." Ringo mumbled, he was curled up to George's chest. "Wasn't expecting it to get like that."

"Me neither." George smiled against Ringo's hair, his lips pressed against the top of it "John can have that effect on people sometimes."

"Hopefully that's released some of his tension at least." Ringo pressed a kiss against George's bare skin "Less likely he'll kick up a fight later tonight."

"Hopefully." George repeated "Try not to worry too much, it should be fine."

"Well if you die just know..." Ringo started "I'll be really, really pissed off."

George laughed and Ringo felt it moving his chest, it was a comforting feeling he'd gotten used to "And we can't have that, can we?"

They lay exchanging lazy conversation for a while until John and Paul finally decided to vacate the bathroom; judging from the looks on both their faces Ringo was fairly certain they'd only continued their debauchery in there. Ringo hadn't quite gotten used to the idea of showering with George, or anyone for that matter, but he was far too impatient to wait for George to finish and would feel too rude insisting that he went in alone first. It gave him a chance to just ogle at George for a while, using the guise of washing as an excuse to touch his skin, so it wasn't a bad thing by any means.

By the time they were done, Paul and John were almost asleep lying on their bed and Ringo gladly followed their lead. They slept for an hour or two before waking up and passed the remainder of the time rather idly, listening to the radio or joking around with one another. One thing Ringo learned very quickly about hanging out with those three was that there was never a boring moment, of course there were quiet times or instances where they'd just sit around talking but it was never truly boring. They headed out for dinner early enough to give Ringo time to get to the club promptly; the conversation around the table was never as grim as Ringo might've expected it to be. Perhaps they'd decided not to discuss any plans too much in front of Ringo, perhaps as to not worry him, and if that was the case he was certainly grateful but he also didn't like the idea that he was being left out of what was really going on. The only acknowledgement really made was by George insisting that Ringo kept his knife on him tonight, and that he head straight back to the hotel without looking for them.

The walk to work was lonelier than it had been the previous time, Ringo only hoped that this would be the final instance and in the morning everything would be solved and they could head back home - or spend a few crazy nights in Hamburg, if John got his way. All in all the shift wasn't incredibly exciting, Ringo once again denied the pills from Klaus initially as he believed that if he was able to manage it once then he would again. Unfortunately his resolve failed him and after three hours of playing, and two more to go, Ringo was struggling to keep his eyes open at points and conceded.

"I told you, didn't it?" Klaus laughed proudly as he offered Ringo one of his pills; it was more than enough to get Ringo through the remainder of the night.

It was the end of the shift where things began to get interesting, as the band collected themselves in the back room they were joined by an unknown presence. Ringo was trying his best not to get completely enveloped by the feeling of the preludin, when he noticed the figure standing in the door who was currently speaking German to one of the band members. He was fairly short, wide and had dark black hair - Ringo assumed he must dye it - and was currently passing around the thin, silver cylinders which Ringo had come to recognise as the containers of the drug. So this was Stefan, Ringo thought to himself, as he struggled to focus on his features. Klaus seemed to be explaining that Ringo couldn't speak any German to him, in his extensive knowledge Ringo was able to pick out the word 'Engländer', but he didn't seem too interested in Ringo at all. He merely offered him a tube of the pills, which he declined at first and lead to a confused reaction from Stefan, partly to be polite and partly because he knew John would appreciate it, he accepted them in the end. Stefan then left without much engagement in their conversation and the rest of the band got ready to head out for the night.

"You were right about the weird vibe." Ringo said to Klaus.

"Yeah... I don't know what's wrong with him, but hey - free drugs!" Klaus grinned, demonstrating his point by popping one of the pills into his mouth after he spoke.

"Does he stay until the club closes?" Ringo asked in a quieter voice.

"I don't think so, usually when he comes to see us he seems to go home after. At least, whenever we head out we usually see him." Klaus explained, he was talking a lot faster than a sober person would "Why?"

"Just curious." Ringo said simply, but that wasn't the case.

"Are you gonna come out with us this time?" Klaus had packed away his bass and was currently fiddling with his outfit in the mirror.

Ringo paused for a moment and looked up at Klaus, this was the time to make a decision: he wasn't entirely sure if it was the drugs spiralling his brain into thoughts he wouldn't normally have, but as soon as he recognised Stefan the idea arrived in his mind of following him home. He wasn't entirely sure where this plan concluded, if it would just be a fruitless decision which resulted in merely finding out where he lived. Yet the idea of George, Paul and John being out there somewhere didn't sit right with him, and he knew that he couldn't just simply go home and sleep, he wanted to do something - even if that something ended up being nothing.

"Oh, well... I need to meet my mates back at the hotel, but maybe we'll see you out there?" Ringo's words felt heavy as they left his lips, he was really going to do this.

Klaus didn't seem to notice any change in Ringo's temperament, he instead just listed the array of clubs that they would probably be at that night. Then with manic goodbyes Klaus left with the band, leaving Ringo alone in the room. Now was the time to act, the weight of the knife against his leg was only a reminder of the danger George might be in at this very moment. He waited a few moments before getting up and heading out of the back entrance, he looked around for any sign of Stefan but saw none, all he could see was Klaus running madly down the street with his friends, so he decided to wait. He leaned against the wall of the building, positioning himself so that when the door opened it would somewhat hide him, and lit a cigarette.

Ringo smoked nervously, he kept tapping his foot in anticipation but he wasn't sure if that was the nerves or the drugs. He'd got almost to the end of his cigarette when he started to consider going home and just praying he could get some sleep, but then the door opened. And there Stefan was, exiting the building and barely passing a glance to Ringo as he walked by. He'd gotten to the end of the back alley and went to turn onto the street when Ringo's body began moving seemingly by itself, as he began to follow him.

His mind was a strange mixture of subdued panic and wavering confidence, as he began to question his behaviour yet he didn't stop moving. Luckily at this time of the night the streets of Hamburg were bustling, meaning Ringo could follow Stefan at a relatively close distance without looking too suspicious or even being seen at all. He walked down the main street for a while before turning down a quieter road, which made Ringo a little uneasy but he just figured he'd started this insane quest now he might as well see it to its completion. The side streets were nowhere near as exuberantly lit as the Reeperbahn, which partly panicked Ringo but was also a reassurance that he couldn't be seen as easily.

Stefan never looked behind him, or seemed to even know Ringo was there, for the entire walk. They hadn't been walking for that long before Stefan came to his destination, a somewhat decrepit building which looked like it might once have been a family home, but certainly hadn't been that for a lot time. Some of the lights were on, contrasingly greatly the buildings beside it which Ringo could only assume were abandoned judging by their appearance. Ringo slowed his pace when he noticed Stefan slowing his own, then stopped entirely when he saw Stefan begin to enter the building. He paused for a few moments to collect his thoughts, then cautiously began to walk closer in an attempt to see through one of the windows.

Ringo could clearly hear an array of loud voices coming from inside, but nothing sounded especially hostile. He wondered whether this was the place George had spoke to him about, and wondered further still what he should do now. Ringo could hear his heart beating like it was in his head, and he was almost certain he was breathing louder than usual. He'd pressed himself against the adjacent building in a patch of darkness but couldn't arouse the confidence to move any closer. Then, everything went silent. Eerily silent. Ringo couldn't help holding his breath in fear that the sound would betray him.

Then the muffled sound of conversation began, rather quiet at first but then erupting rather suddenly in an aggressive shout. It sounded familiar, perhaps it was Stefan. The shout in response was even more familiar and it made Ringo go cold - it was George. Shit. Ringo only had a few moments to make a decision, he could either go home now or commit to helping the rest of them; but there wasn't really any choice at all, Ringo couldn't live with himself if he abandoned them all now, especially if things seemed to be getting heated, and if anything awful happened he knew he'd blame himself. In the end he decided that it was better to regret something he did than something he didn't do.

He took a deep breath and grabbed a hold of the knife in his pocket, pulling it out and extending the blade in preparation. What he supposed he was going to really do, he wasn't sure, but he assumed it would be best to at least be armed. The muffled conversation had continued somewhat, and Ringo could pinpoint it to the back of the house and so he began to move carefully to get a potential view of what was going on. He ducked below the windows of the buildings as he went, not wanting to know what would happen if he was seen, and got to the back of the building which opened out into a small alleyway which ran along the bottom of all the houses. There were windows beside the back door which allowed Ringo to at last catch a glimpse of the situation.

He could see Stefan somewhat in a room that must've once been a kitchen, surrounded by a few other men who were all positioned to face the other side of the room. By moving himself, Ringo could see that George, Paul and John stood on the other side although he couldn't see their faces, only their clothes. The conversation seemed tense, it was certainly passed pleasantries, but it wasn't massively worrying to Ringo just yet. He retreated to a space which wasn't particularly lit, and remained there while he tried to suss out what to do next. From where he stood he could see that the back door was unlocked, it was left half-closed - Ringo wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, as it meant this group wasn't being particularly calculated or that they didn't have a fear that the boys would be able to escape, should they have to. It at least let Ringo know that he had some way to get into the building, or a potential avenue of escape which he could highlight to them.

Just as Ringo began to calm himself, deciding that he wasn't going to intervene unless it was absolutely necessary, things began to heat up again. Stefan began to shout, but received no response - at least not one Ringo could hear - which led to him laughing. Then everything seemed to happen at once: Stefan nodded his head to the men beside him who pounced on the three of them without issue, and suddenly the back door was being sprung open. Ringo witnessed the three of them being carried out into the alley, by the men with Stefan following behind with a gun in his hand. Ringo felt like a spectator of his own life, like he wasn't present in the situation at all. But he had to very quickly remind himself that he was very much present and that this was happening. He was still hidden in darkness somewhat by keeping close to the adjacent building, and he decided to make use of that advantage.

George, Paul and John were all forced down onto the hard ground by their respective captors, lying flat with their faces against the rough floor, facing away from Stefan who Ringo could finally hear speak.

"It's only business boys, I'm sure you understand. Things are changing, and there isn't room for people like you anymore." He had a thick accent.

Ringo felt the adrenaline rushing through his body as he swore at that moment to not allow Stefan to say another word. As Stefan chuckled once again to himself, beginning to move his hand to aim the gun at Paul, who was struggling desperately against the grip of the man above him, Ringo moved. It didn't feel like his own body doing this, but then he was behind Stefan easily and so was his knife. When Ringo had first been given the weapon, he'd worried he wouldn't know how to use it when the time came, but he learned very quickly that it didn't matter. He stabbed into Stefan's back in a swift motion, then another and another; he wasn't going to take any chances. In the commotion, Stefan cried out in pain and shot his gun in an instinctual act of self-defence, but it just shot out into the air.

Everything seemed to move slowly from this point, yet also instantaneously, as Stefan fell to the ground shrieking in pain and the other men faltered somewhat in surprise as Ringo's presence was altertingly made known. That was the only opportunity they needed, as George acted without a second to think, jerking his body upwards and escaping from the larger man's grip for a moment. The moment allowed him to grab his own knife from his pocket and stab it upwards as best he could. Ringo felt his vision blurring somewhat, only realising now that tears had been welling up in his eyes. George managed to lodge his knife in the man's throat, and the sight was haunting as blood began to spurt aggressively down onto him. John hadn't been as lucky, his attempted stab resulting in his arm being bent back brutally, he yelled out in pain, but he was still able to get out of his vulnerable position as panic quickly set in amongst them all. The man who had been restraining Paul abandoned his task altogether and made a dash for the gun that Stefan had dropped in his collapse.

A shot rang out, and Ringo felt the haze of the situation overwhelming him entirely as he only seemed to see frames of what was happening: Paul had stabbed John's attacker easily with his sudden release, then turned to the third man and froze for a second. George shoved Ringo sideways, making Ringo realise that the man had been looking at him defiantly. He then collapsed onto the floor, and he couldn't figure out exactly why he'd been shoved or why he'd been so easy to knock over like that. The man with the gun shouted out loudly, but his words were cut off by John launching his knife into his chest, and he too fell to the ground. That was when Ringo felt it. A sharp, deep pain in his stomach; had he landed on something when he fell? He moved his hand, which he realised he strangely didn't feel in control of, onto something warm and wet. Blood.

Not just blood, but his blood. The last thing he processed was the sight of George, wide eyed and shouting something which Ringo couldn't quite make out despite how close he was.

And then...

Nothing.

[likeshipsonthesea]

Klaus and Dave for the fourth sarcasm prompt

from this list 4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” i really do want to try to write something for tua, like an actual something but i want to be secure in the characterization. the fics i’ve read so far haven’t done it for me, so i wanna do this right, for all the characters, so please feel free to send in other prompts, from the list or not, with any of the characters from the show (preferably one of the 7)

thanks for sending in this prompt! i hope you like it. another tua fic i wrote can be found here

“I don’t know about this, Klaus,” Dave says, whispered, from behind Klaus’ right ear, and for a moment, he isn’t in the middle of some town he doesn’t know, decades before he was born, turning around a corner to watch for guards. Instead, he’s in the Academy, watching for Reginald, or Mom, dragging Ben behind him in pursuit of the sweets Mom keeps in a “secret” cabinet in the kitchen. Ben was always behind him, whatever he did, from the time they were kids until– well, until Klaus time traveled here, really.

Klaus swallows and glances back at Dave, grinning. “Don’t sweat it, sugar-lips,” Klaus says, just to watch Dave blush in the hazy light of moon. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

Dave laughs, too loud and then muffled when he remembers they’re supposed to be quiet. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says, when the laughter has been successfully corralled underneath his tongue. “Why would a non-English speaker and a deaf person be on an American MASH base?”

Klaus waves a hand. “Irrelevant. Just don’t get caught.” He turns back around to check if they’re clear and Dave huffs another laugh, this one caught in the short hairs on the back of Klaus’ neck. He inhales shakily. Stay focused, Hargreeves, he thinks, and steels himself before looking again.

“We’re clear,” Klaus says. “Let’s go.”

They run quietly up to the locked door of the colonel’s office. The corporal is off getting plastered at the officer’s bar with the rest of the platoon– thank Santa for their drunkard brothers in arms– which means Klaus and Dave can sneak into the colonel’s office and drink the primo booze there, have their own little party.

“How’re we gonna get in?” Dave whispers, glancing around quickly, panicked.

“Chill, babe, you’re with me.” Klaus grins and Dave pauses his worrying to shake his head back. Klaus pulls out his standard issue pocket knife. Dave sighs as Klaus begins to work the tip into the keyhole.

“How do you know how to do that?”

Klaus shrugs. “Diego had a book about it, I think. He left it in the bathroom once and I read it while I was in there.” He’d spent hours locked in the bathroom, reading away. Dad– Reginald had come looking for Klaus for training and he’d been so tired, that morning he’d ran into a ghost coming back from the park who had screamed and screamed and– Klaus shakes his head of it. The book is helpful. The memories are not.

Within a minute, the door’s unlocked, and they slip through quietly despite knowing there’s no one here to hear them. The booze is stashed behind another lock, but Klaus makes quicker work of that and turns to show Dave his prize, grin pointedly manic.

Dave shakes his head and leans in to press his lips against the corner of Klaus’ mouth, instinctual, like he couldn’t help it, like Klaus is something to be drawn to instead of run away from.

“Let’s toast,” Dave says as Klaus tugs out the cork. Klaus offers the bottle to him, as he’d never been any good at toasting and shit. Why wait for the high? That’s what he’d always thought. It wasn’t until he met Dave that he learned how good the trip there could be too. Dave takes the bottle with a small smile, lifting it slightly. “To the war ending soon,” he says, faith shining in his eyes.

Klaus never had much of a formal education, but he remembers some things from the lessons Mom gave them in between training. The Vietnam War was one of the longest, he remembers. Didn’t end until well into the 70s, he thinks. Still, he smiles when Dave drinks to his toast and kisses him quick after the bottle is lowered to taste the whiskey from him. It’s always better that way.

They drink sitting on the floor, backs against one of the make-shift walls of the office. Dave is a fun drunk, slowly getting more giggly with less reason. Their fingers brush, Dave giggles. Klaus whistles, Dave giggles. Klaus leans in to mouth at the join of Dave’s jaw, where he never gets all of the stubble when he shaves, and Dave giggles a sound low in his chest, a moan but almost unbearably happy.

Sometimes Klaus wonders what Dave would be like high. Not hard stuff, no needles or noses, but a simple joint, maybe. Dave would never, Klaus knows, a good Jewish boy, hardly smokes except to calm his nerves. But imagining it, a Dave slow and smiley, the worries of the war dropped far behind him. Klaus wouldn’t mind a Dave like that.

Not that he minds the Dave he has now. He doesn’t wonder too much about the drugs, not about Dave taking them and not about him wanting them. There’ve been pangs, of fucking course there have. When they lost Hamm, when Klaus had to wear his blood on his hands for a day until they found a stream deep enough. When he mentioned Ben, off-hand, and Dave asked about him and halfway through a story about playing The Floor is Lava by climbing around the living room, precious artifacts and all, Klaus realized that he would probably never see Ben again. Klaus wasn’t planning on going back, even if they got sent home. 

What does he have to go back to? Ben, yes, but Ben is dead, and the rest of Klaus’ siblings aren’t– He doesn’t want to say they’re not worth it. He knows they care about him, in the same instinct kind of way he feels for them, he knows that they’re family at the end of the day and even when they fuck up and hate each other and even want to kill each other, they’re still the same kids that used to sit out in the yard and tell each other what the clouds looked like.

Ben and Vanya always had the best ones. “It’s a train,” Ben would say, and suddenly the blob would make sense to Klaus. “It’s a banana,” Vanya would say and Klaus would ask where and Ben would already know. Vanya would point her small finger up at a mash of white cotton balls and say, “Look, it’s a bunny,” and Klaus could see the damn thing hopping.

Diego always went violent. “It’s a bunny with its head bashed in,” he would say, and snicker when the others would protest.

“It’s a bunny with a hat,” Allison would retort, sniffing, haughty, and then she’d tell them what brand it was, how expensive it was.

“Where’d a bunny get money for Gucci?” Klaus would snort and Allison would knock her foot into his ankle and he’d laugh.

“I think it has a tie, too,” Luther would say, quiet. He was always quiet around them when they weren’t on a mission. He only really felt comfortable speaking out when he was following Allison.

They would all murmur in agreement, even Diego, and then Five would say, “It’s a collection of water droplets light enough to float. It’s not anything but a cloud.”

At the time, Klaus would stick his tongue out at Five and tell him he was a buzzkill, but as he thinks about it now, tipsy, on a floor, thigh pressed against the only man he’d ever loved, Klaus wonders if it wasn’t condescension but defensiveness. Did Five ever see the bunny in the cloud? Could he? What were smarts when he couldn’t relate to anything but a book?

Klaus snorts to himself. No wonder the kid fell in love with a mannequin. Makes absolute fucking sense.

“What’re you giggling about?” Dave asks, slurring a little.

Klaus hums. “Clouds.”

“Hmm.” Dave leans into Klaus’ side, warm and heavy and smelling of shaving cream. They’d been out for weeks, using their knifes to make their stubble manageable, but they’d stumbled upon the MASH station earlier that morning and reveled in the luxury of mirrors and razors. Dave smells cleaner than Klaus ever remembers him being, and though Klaus typically hates change, it’s nice.

“What’re you gonna do after the war?” Klaus says, and he hiccups, realizing instantly that it’s the kind of sappy question optimists ask, and he really shouldn’t be entertaining notions of after when he knows the war isn’t ending for a long while, but the words are off his lips and he can’t take them back.

“Go home,” Dave says, easy. “Teach music again, maybe. That was nice.” He turns his head into Klaus’ shoulder and looks up at him, blue eyes wide and innocent. Klaus marvels at how he still looks like that after all they’ve done, all they’ve had to do, to survive. He thinks that Dave could do it. Go back home, be himself again. He’s retained more of it than any of them have. Dave is so good, fuck, sometimes Klaus doesn’t know what to do with it.

“What about you?” Dave asks, quiet, and Klaus blinks back into awareness and hums, questioning. Dave clarifies, “What will you do after?”

Klaus thinks about the briefcase stashed under the cot they assigned him that morning. He doesn’t know how the thing works. In all likelihood, he could open it again only to end up in California during the Gold Rush or some shit. But if it could bring him back right where he left, bring him home to whatever measure of home that time was, would he do it?

Klaus never answers, because at that moment there’s movement outside and they hear someone saying, “Is the colonel’s office open?” and Klaus and Dave scramble out the window, breathless, stifling their giggles, and they run back to their shared tent as fast as they can.

They stop outside the front flap, panting and leaning their hands on their knees. They meet eyes and laugh, too loud but alive, and it feels so good to be running from something that doesn’t want to kill them, and Dave steps forward, hardly even looking around to make sure they’re alone, and cups the sides of Klaus’ face to pull him into a breathless, blood-thumping kiss.

This is why, Klaus thinks, as he curls his hand around Dave’s wrist to feel his pulse against his fingertips. This is why he won’t go back. Because as much as he loves his siblings, when it comes down to it, he doesn’t feel safe with them.

Dave doesn’t make the ghosts go away, and fuck knows there’s a lot of them in a war zone. But when the screaming gets too loud and Klaus panics like a shell-shocked soldier, Dave holds him close and whispers roughly into his hair, tells him it’s alright, they’re dead, Klaus is alive, they only have as much power as Klaus gives them.

Dave, for all his giggles and smiles and optimism, understands the trauma Klaus’ power brings him more than any of his siblings– even Ben– could understand. They will always be strangers who grew up together. They will always see different things in the clouds. Klaus needs someone who, when he says, “I need a fix,” hears, Help me.

Klaus kisses Dave back and doesn’t worry about whether or not Dave can taste the I love you on his lips. It’s fine. Klaus knows he does.

[dr-mizmix]

My sunshine(part 1/?)

Many people have already written about this but I couldn't help it. This fic follows the headcanon in which Five kills Dave.

TRIGGER WARINGS

warzone/mental breakdown

Word count: 1500+

13+

Enjoy!

“It's just another name, it's just another mission” Five never thought about who he had to eliminate. It wasn't worth the time thinking about their lives and getting involved in an emotional level. That would be irrational and compromise the mission. It didn't matter if they were innocent, guilty, men, women or children Five just wanted to get the job done so he could move forward to the next one until the day he finished his equations or his contract whatever came first.

“Eliminate Dave Katz at all costs”

As soon as Five read the name, it made him wonder “Huh, this is weird. I wonder what this soldier soldier must have done for the temp comision to send me instead of letting him die at warzone.” He then looked to Dolores who remained motionless “............” Five then tried to act unbiased “You are right Dolores, that's none of ours business," he read again the name and location “we should get going.”

After that he packed for his unusual destination, even for a time traveling hitman like himself 1968 Vietnam.

While Five was onto his grim mission Dave Katz, his future victim, was having a great time with another time traveler who happened to be a Hargreeves too, but whose plans of what to do with him couldn't be more different.  

At the disco Klaus was killing it the dance floor when discretely he winks Dave who has been watching him from the distance. He takes this gesture as a signal and starts to slowly approach him while dancing “Haha, you have some nice moves” Klaus decided to cautiously flirt with him trying to see where he could go “Really? I could teach you some of them if you wanna” Dave followed Klaus’ game “Oh, and how much would it be for the lessons?” he wished this was 2019 and not 1968 “Well, I would usually charge a lot to know the secrets of my moves.” Dave kept getting closer to him “Oh really?” he said with a playful smile “Yeah but because you are obviously desperate I'll make you a deal. I will lower my price to just one shot of whatever it is your favorite drink.” he knew that if he said to anyone else he could get in trouble. But not to Dave “Then it's settled. Bartender two shots of whiskey please! My treat.” After that they danced together all evening with the excuse of teaching each other dance moves.

“Klaus” Dave called him in a really low tone but he caught his attention “Follow me” They went together to a secluded area. “Are we allowed to be here?” Klaus tried being cautious but Dave made his thoughts disappear in less than a second “What, what are we?” Klaus didn't know how to answer. “I don't know, what am I to you?” Dave thought for a moment “I feel like I can trust you with my life, I would say that you are my friend but that would be lying to myself” Klaus closed his eyes “Keep going” Dave closed his eyes too “You are the most kind,wonderful, brave and handsome person that I've ever met” Dave felt like his heart was about to to leave his body, when Klaus wrapped his arms around him “You are very wrong, because you are the most handsome, strong, brave and vulnerable person I've ever met and you clearly know yourself” Dave got as close as he could to Klaus and when their lips were almost touching he whispered “May I?” to which Klaus responded “Yes you can” They shared a long kiss, when they separated Dave was incredibly blushed “Did I do it wrong?” Klaus giggled and started playing with Dave's hair “No! Why would you say that” Dave looked kind of embarrassed “I'm kind of new to this thing” Klaus then gently grabbed his face “Don't worry, we can do whatever you want” Dave hugged him and a slow song started playing “I've, I've never danced to anything like this before” Klaus smiled and placed their hands on the position for a slow dance. “Hey remember I told you I'd teach you how to dance” Dave shaked his head smiling and they continued dancing through the whole night.

Several months have passed since the night Dave and Klaus shared their first kiss. Since then they've been secretly dating. So far no one noticed anything more than them being really good friends. That or they prefer to ignore it. They even got themselves some matching tattoos which Dave chose. In their way to the front, at the bus, Dave seemed distant “Today it's going to be tough” Klaus puts his arm around him “You always say that, and look at us! We only get so emotionally scarred for life!” He tried to joke around it to see if Dave would relax a bit “Right, right” Klaus started to get worried “Are you ok?" “Well It's just that I heard that my squad is going for the front line this time and I I…”Dave couldn't continue. There was a pause “Is that all?Then I will be going with you”Dave shaked his head with a sad smile “Come on Klaus you know that we can't do that. We are in different squads” Klaus though for a moment “Well then tell someone from your squad that today is their lucky day because I'm not letting you go alone.” Dave laughed “You are going to make some lucky bastard very happy”

Five loaded his trusty rifle and waited for the perfect moment when nobody would notice him. It was weird to witness all those people dying in front of him but Five had to constantly remind himself that it was none of his business. Chaos arises in the trenches and Five decided to shoot his target, knowing help wouldn't come. He activated the trigger and the job was done. A man starts screaming with a somewhat familiar voice. Five feelt startled by it and decided to take a closer look. “Something feels wrong”

Meanwhile the in the trenches Klaus was screaming for help “Medic! Medic!” He held Dave in his arms “You're going to ok Dave, you'll get through this” Dave placed his hands behind Klaus head “I'll be ok Klaus I know I'll be” Klaus cried even harder “Stay with me Dave please, I'll take you with me” Dave closed his eyes “Sing for me” Klaus couldn't think of any song until words started flowing almost automatically from his mouth “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Dave grabbed his hand “You make me happy when skies are gray…” Klaus tightened his grip “You'll never know dear how much I love you…” Dave's hand relaxed a bit “Please don't take” Dave opened his eyes “my sunshine” they both smiled “I love you” Dave lost all his grip “Away… ” Klaus looked at Dave, he didn't move “Dave? Dave! Medic! Goddammit I need a need a goddamm medic!”. As he realized that help wouldn't arrive, he looked Dave's lifeless body and laid on it crying. “He's dead. He's dead” his mumbling kept going until it became unintelligible.

Dolores in his back as always stayed silent. “Is just the screaming, he shouldn't have found him so fast. We are in the middle of warzone.” He made a pause to get Dolores perspective. “It's just” he squinted his eyes in an attempt to see the man's forearm, Five sighed as he saw the man wore long sleeves and looked back at Dolores “You are right Dolores, I have no family anymore” He closed his eyes trying to forget the familiar pitch. “What would they be doing here anyway?”He picked up his stuff and left as he never had been there. He was now awaiting for his next assignment.

“Eliminate President Kennedy at all costs”

When Five found himself asking “is it worth it? Is it worth killing l so many people to go back knowing that the future is doomed?” He remembered Vanya and the rest of his siblings and found a reason to keep living.

But this was not the moment to think about his siblings, this was a moment of action.

As Five used his briefcase for the last time he thought of his siblings, and while it was kind of hard to admit, he started questioning if they would accept him. They only knew him for 13 years and he is now 58. What is he going to tell them? He'd been alone for 40 years and now the feeling of being able to come back to his family terrifies him. But it didn't matter now, the apocalypse doesn't wait for anybody.

He arrived at his destination, there he started apply his equations to time travel back his family. He'll show Dolores she's wrong. He knew his arrival would probably cause a huge anomaly so he expected his family waiting for him. What he didn't expect was that one screaming man from his last mission in Vietnam. The first face he saw “Klaus” It suddenly became clear. He got distracted over that fact. So much so that his body started morphing into his 13 years old self.He finally went through it.

“Shit”

I will continue this fic in the near future so stay tuned!