#i do everything i can but i cant change it

[from-the-owls-nest]

Well... It's your life. and your personality. so nobody gets to tell you or to decide how they want you to be. They can share how they see you, how they've experienced you, and you get to decide if that still fits, or maybe later again, or if that's a Past You thing, or if you just don't know yet. Transformations and Changes and not knowing are human. And people who love you will love you however you are and want you to be happy over keeping any image they built up of you intact and forcing you into it. *cough* my parents

Also: who someone is has so many different parts. things they like, things they're good at, things they do a lot, things they want to do, traits, memories. There's not one thing that defines all of you. And if something changes or goes missing - sometimes things are just behind a cloud, or like hibernating, and come back when there's space for them, like that or in a different form.

And the other thing... Well. Uh. I don't know what future you will think. I don't know what future me will think. And if I don't know - I try to keep the options open until I maybe will know.

I sorta... this will sound silly. I have an agreement with myself that I'll try to make the best choice with the information I have in a moment, so I dont get to be mad at myself later because I was trying my best. And in retrospect that I try to not make choices future me has to clean up or impacts them badly, especially permanently. Like - it's unfair to future me to give up if good things can still happen, if there's options left to try, and a path to continue on and see if it can get better. I think it'd be more unfair to potential future me and the experiences future me could make if things go well, to destroy them with me ahead of time, before I've tried everything to change and better things, than it is to keep going through the rough times and to keep them around until then or until the criteria have changed.

We'll often also hear to think of others and what you'd do to them and to keep living for others, and - that can be a good reason, but it shouldn't be that guilt trip thing, or make it less of your choice. In the end you gotta decide what feels right to you and what you want. Nobody should make you do something you genuinely fully don't want. Just... remember that you aren't alone, and that there's people who love you and would support you in figuring things out and finding out who you wanna be and what you want life to be like, okay?

(OOC: anyone reading - even if you genuinely feel like theres no hope left, please reach out to a safe person and see if things change with a bit of distance or new options can appear - if it could have been a passing cloud or a storm that will end in time, or something that can be fixed by time or help. uh. before you make choices that cant be taken back and may lead to a lot of suffering. Thanks. And Tumblr please dont get mad at me.)

Love love love characters that present themselves as emotionally open social butterflies but the more you see of them the more obvious it is that they’re the most closed off fuckers in the story. Sure, they want to help you with your personal problems and messy emotions, but if you turn that shit back on them, they’ll shut down or deflect every time. Why are you sticking your nose in their business anyway? It’s not like it matters. They’re not a person, they’re just a role being played. They’re the guy who fixes things and saves people. Please ignore the man behind the mask, he’s fine. Everything’s fine.

[itsnesss]

ik ur requests are close so u can do this whenever if ever u want but can u do something where myung gi and reader hate each other but just cant get away from each other and one time reader couldn’t sleep and saw myung gi awake so u went to his get and sat herself down and got comfortable and hes all confused and is like “what are you doing” and they just talk and soon fall asleep and wake up cuddling each other

i hope this makes sense sorry for the long request 😓

𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | lee myung-gi (player 333) × fem!reader

summary | the request

warnings | angst, confusion, unresolved tension, emotional vulnerability, close proximity

word count | 1.8 k

author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks ᡣ𐭩

The darkness of the room stretches around you, and although you close your eyes, sleep seems to elude you, as it always does when you need it most. The silence is heavy, dense, but it’s not the kind of silence that comforts you. It’s the kind of silence that invites you to think, to remember all the reasons you hate the person so close to you.

You turn in bed again and again, but the discomfort persists. The hatred you share with Myung-gi has never been easy to handle, but there’s something in him that keeps you trapped.

You know he’s awake. You’ve been hearing his labored breathing for quite a while. At first, you thought you could bear it, but in the end, you realize you need something more than that. Something you can’t define. Something that pushes you to get out of bed and move closer to him, without thinking twice.

You approach his bed, your heart beating faster as you draw near. When you reach his side, he turns toward you, his eyes flickering between surprise and irritation. His posture, always so tense, is filled with that arrogance that frustrates you, but somehow, something in his gaze makes you stay, unsure.

Without saying a word, you lie down next to him. The silence that fills the room is awkward, but you can’t help but feel that, despite everything you share, there’s something liberating about being there, close to him, even though you won’t admit it. The warmth of his body beside you feels strangely comforting, as if a weight you didn’t know you were carrying lightens, although deep down, you know it’s a trap.

After a few seconds, his voice breaks the silence.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, his tone low but filled with confusion, as if he can’t understand why you approached him.

You don’t know how to respond, not in words. You decide to be direct because bluntness is all you have between the two of you.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you say, looking up to avoid his gaze. The words seem empty, but it’s the closest to the truth you can get at that moment.

A long silence falls between the two of you. His breathing remains steady, but the atmosphere has changed, as if something invisible has intervened between you. You feel ridiculous for being there, but something tells you that you shouldn’t move. It’s easier to stay still, say nothing, and let time pass.

Finally, he whispers, almost as if he were talking to himself.

“This doesn’t make sense.”

Your chest tightens with a mixture of frustration and something else, something you don’t want to admit. Why does it affect you so much? Why are you still here, close to him, when all you’ve done is fight, despise him?

“I know,” you answer softly. The truth is there, in the air between you two. None of this makes sense, but you can’t explain why you stay.

The conversation fades for a moment, only the sound of your breaths blending in the silence. You feel that what you both share is a never-ending war, one you can’t win but also can’t abandon.

“You know?” you finally say, breaking the silence. You feel vulnerable speaking, but you can’t help it. “Sometimes... I wish things were different.”

You surprise yourself by saying it, but the confession is out of your control. The hatred you feel for him doesn’t go away, but something in you longs for things not to always be this way. Something in you wants him to drop the mask of indifference, that way of not taking a step toward resolution.

He doesn’t respond immediately. You have the sense that he’s thinking, weighing what you just said. When he finally speaks, he does so in a low voice, almost as if it were something personal.

“That will never happen,” he says, and in his words is a tone of resignation, as if he knows it too.

The sound of his breathing fills the room again. The calm overtakes you, as if the fact that you both know it at the same time is enough for the tension to dissipate, even if just for a brief moment. The hatred, the frustration, all seems to slowly drift away.

The conversation continues in small moments, between ironic jokes and comfortable silences, until, without realizing it, you both fall into a deep sleep.

As you open your eyes, you realize something is wrong, but you can’t identify what it is. The warmth beside you confuses you. Your mind is still half asleep, and it’s then that you realize: you’re in his arms. His body is close, closer than you’ve ever allowed it to be. Your heart races and an uncomfortable feeling runs through you, but it’s strangely warm.

You stay still, almost waiting for it all to fade away, for it to simply be a weird dream, but it’s not. The contact of his arm around you, the sensation of his breath near your neck, is real. Somehow, you can’t stop it, but the fact that you’re there, in his embrace, leaves you completely bewildered.

The silence is as heavy as before, but this time, there’s something different in the air. The discomfort begins to grow, and you can’t help but think that all of this is a mistake. It’s then that, at the same time, you both realize the position you’re in, and without thinking, you pull apart in a leap, as clumsy as if you didn’t know how to react. It’s a rushed, almost awkward movement, as if the fear of being so close to the other blinded you for a moment.

You quickly get up from the bed, your hands slightly trembling as you search for an excuse that doesn’t come. Looking at the floor, you struggle to maintain your composure, but you realize how absurd it all has been.

“This...” you say, your voice slightly shaky. “This doesn’t make sense.”

You feel ridiculous, looking for an escape when, deep down, you know there’s nowhere to go. Myung-gi gets up as well, his expression serious, although you can see that he’s also trying to hide how bewildered he is.

“It wasn’t...” he begins, but the words don’t seem to come out of his mouth as they normally do. He stops, not knowing how to continue.

You’re both there, completely out of place, not knowing how to handle the situation. The tension builds again between you, but this time it’s different. It’s not the same tension as before, the one from the fights, from the confrontations. It’s something else, something confusing, that neither of you knows how to explain.

You blush as you realize how close you were to him, how much the simple fact of sharing that space affected you.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” you murmur, feeling the weight of your own words.

Myung-gi doesn’t respond immediately, and you realize that, for once, he doesn’t have an answer either. He pulls away slightly, as if the space between you two is necessary for both of you to process it all, but the atmosphere remains charged, as if something invisible had bound you together unwillingly.

“This doesn’t have to happen again,” he says finally, although he doesn’t sound entirely convinced by his own words.

You, on your part, don’t respond. You don’t know what to say. The words get stuck in your throat because, deep down, you realize that, even though you wish this hadn’t happened, a part of you knows something has changed. And that feeling is what truly scares you.

[deepinthegroves]

HII its viperr sending asks on anon bcs i keep forgetting that you cant send asks on ur alt ,,, anyway for the superhero ask game : 🔍, 🕷 !!! (also the new blog theme EATSSS)

ahh thanks viperr <3 (@viperrf1sh / @viperrshifts)

answering for my spiderverse reality...

🔍 : MARVELOUS MAGNIFYING GLASS . . . who was the first person to discover your secret identity? how did they react to finding out?

the first person to discover my secret identity was peter parker. i had managed to hide this for months, and had even convinced my parents to let me move out because i didn't want them to find out. he was sitting in my living room when i entered via the hatch that leads to the rooftop (it's a penthouse apartment), and i was pulling off my spidersuit to throw in the washing machine when he walks into the kitchen to just see me there, mask off and about to take off the suit. we both screamed when it happened, as is the natural reaction, and i banished him to my living room to wait as i got changed (magically).

[for context, the hatch to the rooftop is linked to my kitchen-slash-laundry area and when i drop down from the hatch, he heard me coming in. the area has windows and stuff but i usually have the blinds pulled down (for situations like these) so my neighbours don't see spiderman dropping into my apartment and connecting the dots.]

i eventually explained everything to him and he was kinda amazed? of course he worried over the fact that i'm putting myself in danger but i took the opportunity to explain to him the whole deal with my family to reassure him that i'm fine and know what i'm doing and he made me promise to include him and allow him to help however he could.

🕷 : SLATE SPIDER . . . what is your hero insignia? what symbol do people know you by? what does your hero suit look like? who created / designed it? what is your color scheme?

my hero insignia is like the typical spiderman one but with a heart in place of the usual spider body. there are a few designs on pinterest and i took inspo from that <3

as for symbols, i'd say as long as it's spider-related? obviously, they'd recognise the insignia, it's all over the news, but if someone were to draw a random spider, i think most people would associate it with me too.

my hero suit is the usual spandex one but a dark red with gold lines. there are swirls around the suit that meet and form spiderwebs, but my entire suit isn't covered in it. i wear belts around my waist and i have a bag/ pouch hanging on the right, which i've charmed to make it bottomless (hammerspace, basically) so i can keep things in it and not lose them. i designed the suit myself, and though it's plainer than the things i'd usually design, it was a choice i made so the public wouldn't recognise my style and figure out my identity (because i have a fashion magazine that i'd show my designs in, alongside other designers that work with me).

for my tech, though the original few were made by me, the rest of it were peter's designs. he's great at tech (though i fear there may be some OSHA violations...) and he constantly helps to create some for me, for it to cover the gaps between what's lacking from my spiderpowers and the need to secretly use my magic if i ever end up in a situation where i need to wield it. some things he has made is an expandable shield as a bracelet, smoke bombs that has some sort of gas that's safe and yet disorientates?, and he installed night vision on my mask so i didn't have to use magic for that.

sorry if this is hard to visualise – i tend to change my suit in my imagination and i'm not the best at describing these, which is my only option since i can't draw lol.

[pansyfemme]

i am so tired of being the only schizospec person i know irl

[yaolmao]

simp

[hinamie]

i mean he's got all the outfits now might as well show them off

bonus:

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

[heal-the-ashes]

I feel like Hershel and Desmond would both be afraid of themselves.

If they stop and look at themselves. If they realize what they're doing came from years of pain. Would it all lead to a question of "Who else am I going to hurt?" "How many people have I unintentionally hurt because I never realized what I was really doing?" "How many things of my life have I missed because of this?" "How many things do I—or will I—regret?"

I feel like Layton self-sacrifices to a fault. That others get hurt trying to protect him. That he unknowingly drags other people through pain to get to where he thinks he needs to go. To solve every mystery there is. To get rid of his pain from outside sources, he needs to make as much of it himself under the titles "Determination" and "Amazing at solving things" and "Helping others" because then, how could those things ever hurt him? How could they ever be seen as pain? They're not like his (other) traumas. They don't cause pain at all. Not to mention what he thinks about danger. Danger? What danger? There's no danger here. Just people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want—Which is very sad and shows their pain and he'd very much like to help them in any way possible, if possible. If they show that they don't want to be helped, then it's better to leave them be.

But then again, nothing can ever be someone's fault other than his around him. I think he goes over betrayals thinking, "There must have been something I could have done." or "There must've been something I did." or "If I learn from this, I can make sure it never happens again." or... ... I think he has a hard time accepting that things really aren't his fault / there's really nothing he can do about some situations. Actually, when it comes time for Unwound Future and the whole Evil Layton arc... The only time in which he actually raises his voice is at himself. Is at the version of him that betrayed all of the morals in which he's held onto for so long. But a part of me thinks that, if he knew things were actually his fault, he'd have a problem with that, too... I mean, look at how he reacts to him getting puzzle answers incorrect in CV. In CV. In the 4th game of experience that he's had with puzzles. And a movie. With all that experience and he gets something wrong... he's disappointed in himself. Going back to the UF/LF thing... "I demand an explanation!!" I don't think I'll ever forget that line. I think, from his journal... We know he was trying to think of reasons why he would do something like this. Idk. I'm. Thoughts are not thinking anymore. Um. Wow I really lost my thought process. I was also gonna talk about Desmond. But I guess that's not happening at the moment.

[officialrickshades]

this literally refused to post for a few solid minutes. i miss him.

[nyxypoo]

dad taiju

[shitouttabuck]

what if i wrote a twisters au……….

[undefeatablesin]

My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[mrmeepsmadmind]

SOCIETY KEEPS KILLING ONE OF THEM BCS THEIR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE INCAPABLE FOR GALAXIES TO HANDLE !!!!!

[risingsunresistance]

sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck

i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"