#i do everything i can but i cant change it
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Kissin’ and hope they caught us!
Part two | spotify playlist
PAIRING (📖) . loser!collegeau!jake x fem!college!reader
A/N (🖊️) . I'm crazy over loser Jake (he's so cute 😕) my obsession with the headcanon abt Jake being a loser trapped in a hot man's body is concerning in the name of feminism. he has me gripping my hair like im going insane or smth
ADDITIONAL INFO (💻) . W/C is 2.2k! porn with little plot. Reader is smitten with Jake!! Jake is a little oblivious but it's okay, his geek charm makes up for it (and for the fact that he's PACKING). These two are FREAKS and PERVS. No p in v, oral (male received), Jake cant help himself from cumming inside, public sex!! everything about this fic is just so filthy and nasty 🫣
You recalled all the times when you dreaded going to college. It would be a new chapter of your life and you didn't know if it would turn out well.
But that would change as soon as you stepped into your campus's library and laid eyes on such a greek god of a man who sat at a table surrounded by books. Looking past the round frame of his glasses, you can see his big doe eyes that held a blend of curiosity and intellect. But that innocent look to him would only fuel your desire as you take in his features. His plump, soft pink lips curling up into a warm smile complimented his chiseled jawline. You don't know how a man could look so handsome yet so cute but you knew right then that college would be the best time of your life.
Midterms were nearing and what does a studious girl like you do during these times?
Eye-fuck your best friend who's taking the time out of his day to help you study.
"Y/n?" His soft-like-butter voice brought you out of your daze. "Do you understand this?" Jake asks, bringing your attention to the section in your notebook where his.. long, slender fingers are pointing.
You tug your bottom lip between your teeth, biting back the whimper that threatened to slip out when you watch him pick up your pen and skillfully swing it around his middle finger till it sits perfectly on his ring finger. You can only imagine how his fingers could feel inside of you. Curling just enough to reach that spot that makes you see stars. Yeah... he's getting it tonight.
“I uhm— I don’t understand, sorry.” You reply with a lack of sincerity. You knew damn well what you were doing. You like to say that hearing it from Jaeyun would make studying fun.
Jake grins, letting out a soft chuckle. Who’s he to turn you down when you’re seeking his help. Because in reality, he’s had an eye on you for a while. He will never forget the day when he first met you.
It was a Tuesday, and Heeseung came literally begging (almost on his knees too) him to do his paper that he forgot was due at 11:59 PM that same day. And what does sweet, caring Jake do? You guessed it, he manages to cram a 6-page essay into his already busy schedule. He remembers sitting at a table in the library, books about whatever Heeseung was researching were scattered around him. He was on the brink of calling it quits and letting his friend fail (which was most likely not gonna happen) and quite literally started praying for a sign of some sort to encourage him to continue on.
And as if he had his own personal angel watching over him to hear his prayers, the sound of your boots clicking against the smooth, wooden floorboards drew his attention from the book sprawled out in front of him. There you were, strutting through the double doors with a smile. The confidence that oozed out of you had reached him even when he was across the room. He watched you talk to the lady at the front desk, in awe when you tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear as you focused on something. You were like a shot of espresso and he drank in the sight of you. You were everything he had ever dreamt of in a girl. From the hair to the way you dressed, hell, even your smile. He was too lost in his thoughts to realize you were walking up to him. It wasn't till you spoke that snapped him back into reality, "Hey, is this seat taken?" You ask, pointing at the empty seat next to him.
He just stares.
Holy shit. You were talking to him. Holy shit. Holy fuck. shitshitshit. C'mon, Jake. Say something.
His voice slightly cracks when he mutters a quick, "No."
You bite your bottom lip, smiling at his reaction. "Great. I'm Y/n, you are..?" You ask, sitting down in the chair beside him.
His eyes dart around the empty seats surrounding the two of you. Why would you want to sit directly next to him? Do you think he's cute? Well, you're definitely cute. You're really hot. Drop-dead gorgeous even. Wait. Why are you staring at him like that? Did he- OH-
"Jaeyun! Sim Jaeyun!" He almost barks out, cringing into his seat when he gets shh'ed at by a random student.
You giggle quietly, slouching down to match his level. "Nice to meet you, Jaeyun. I hope we can be friends."
Friends... Yeah.. I can do friends! (he def cannot do friends and neither can you)
"Hey Jake," You calling his name startles him. "Hm?" He really needs to stop dozing off in front of you.
"There's this book that I couldn't reach earlier. Could you help me with that?" You chuckle, giving a moment for the boy to process. And as if on cue, his head perks up to look at you. There he goes.
You guide him towards the very far back of the library, specifically a corner that had students unlikely to come by. It was shielded off by another shelf of books, allowing for you two to go unnoticed.
"Where was it again?" Jaeyun asks, his height easily granting him access to the tallest shelf.
"Right.." You point at some random book, "There."
Jake, too immersed in his determination to find the said book, fails to notice you sinking down onto your knees right next to him. "Y/n? What's the title of the book? I can't really..." He finally goes to look at you. But he's confused when he's met with an empty space that was once occupied by you. He looks around until his gaze travels downwards where he sees you looking up at him with a smile.
"Y-Y/n! Wh-What are you doing?" Oh god. He can feel himself twitching inside his sweats. This is a very dangerous sight to see you in.
"I wanted to repay you for helping me, Jaeyun." You calmly explain, batting your eyelashes at him.
He's dreaming. He has to be.
"You're such a sweet guy y'know..." Your hands snake up his legs, "And I was thinking 'How could I ever repay him' but then," You lean in to plant a kiss on his prominent bulge, "This idea popped in my head not too long ago."
Jake could only lean against the shelves of books to steady himself. His hand glued to his mouth to muffle any sounds that slipped out while you pulled down the waistband of his pants.
This is exactly like his wet dream but so much fucking better.
"Y/n— oh fuck.." He moans into his hand when he feels you pulling his cock out from its confines. The cold air hitting his warm dick makes him hiss.
"Holy fuck, Jake. You're huge." You gawk, staring at his cock that you were lazily stroking. It was average in length, but fuck, the girth makes up for it.
"Fuck. Please, Y/n." The way he moaned your name sent waves of heat straight to your core. You swore you could feel your slick seeping through your panties.
Your hand feels so much better than his by a long shot. It's so soft, so warm. If it feels this good in your hand, he wonders how it would feel to be buried inside of you.
As pre-cum oozes out from his tip, you couldn't help but circle your thumb around the head of his cock. This must've been a sensitive spot for him by the way he abruptly thrusts his hips forward. "F-Fuck. I need to feel more, please." He begs almost pathetically, eyes hooded in need. Need to feel your mouth around his dick.
"You have to stay quiet, Jaeyun. Don't want people to find out what we're doing back here, do we?" You question, giving his cock a tug that makes him whimper.
You're so hot when you're manhandling him like this. So so hot. "No." He answers shakily, his chest heaving up and down.
You smile at him. So obedient. So cute.
You flattened out your tongue, slapping his head on the pink muscle. He tilts his head back, jaw slacked and mouth open, but no sounds come out. Only heavy breaths and quiet whimpers. Your warm breath fanning over his cock feels so good. But nothing will prepare him when he then feels you licking up a long stripe from the base of his dick to the very tip. If it weren't for the shelves supporting him, he'd be on the floor right now.
You moan before lapping your tongue at his tip, collecting his pre-cum. "You taste so good, Jakey."
You felt daring all of a sudden. Having the man of your desires stand here, letting you suck his dick was hotter than any fantasy you had. You relaxed your throat, giving yourself a moment to prepare for what you're about to do.
Jake could sense something coming from you. The way you looked up at him, he can see in your eyes what you're thinking about. He didn't really know exactly what to expect, but he brought one hand to cover his mouth just in case.
A guttural moan rips out from Jake when you suddenly try to take him whole into your mouth. His eyes widen as he realizes that he was louder than he anticipated it to be. He just prays that no one comes snooping around. Especially not when he has his dick down your throat because not only would that be petrifying, but he can not let you stop. Now now. Not when he had spent countless nights fucking his hand, hoping that it'd be your mouth one day. Now that it's happening, he can't let a second go to waste.
You gagged around his length, feeling the head of his dick hit the deepest parts of your throat. And what's crazy is how he isn't even fully in your mouth. There was still a couple inches left. That fact alone was you clenching around nothing. You could only imagine how he'd feel inside of you. He'd make you feel so full, so stuffed. You moan at the thought, sending vibrations into his dick that makes the boy rolls his eyes to the back of his head.
Jake, on the other hand, was reeling in the pleasure of having your warm, wet mouth around his cock. He moans into his palm, teeth sinking into the flesh to the point where he almost draws blood. It's surreal how your mouth makes him go fucking crazy. His head feels so light yet so heavy.
Your hands gripped the back of his thigh to steady yourself while pushing more of his dick down your throat for merely a couple of seconds before pulling away. You're gasping for air, perhaps you overestimated how much you could take him.
Jake nearly cums at the sight. Your chin is glistening while a string of saliva connects your lips to his raging red tip. He isn't sure what came over him at the moment, but he needed to feel your mouth around him again. He finds himself sliding a hand into your hair, grabbing a handful of it before shoving his dick past your swollen, pink lips and down your throat. "Fucking take it. Holy shit." He groans, mouth open with a mantra of your name spilling out.
You're blinking away the tears that pooled in your eyes, trying to focus on breathing through your nose while your best friend manhandles your mouth. This was a total 180 of how he usually is, and you loved it.
Everything about this was so lewd. The sounds of you gagging around his dick mixed with Jake moaning was music to your ears. You look up at him through your lashes, taking in how cute he looked in his specs while moaning your name.
"This mouth feels.. fuck. Feels so fucking good." Jake mutters, hips snapping against your face as he feels his high nearing. "G-Gonna cum down your throat. Sh-Shit, you're gonna take all of my fucking cum." He's just rambling now. Mind is too fucked to even think about anything else but cumming down your pretty little throat.
With one final thrust, his pelvis is flush against your face as he feels himself emptying his load down your throat. "Holy fuuuck.. Oh my god, Y/n."
You could only sit there and swallow everything he gave you. This is your way of repaying him.
He doesn't pull out till he feels himself going soft in your mouth. And he's quick to start apologizing once he does, "I-I'm so sorry, Y/n. I didn't even ask where you wanted me to cu–"
You're swatting your hands around, shaking your head as you swallow hard. "It's okay. I wanted it." Your voice is hoarse due to his assault on your throat. But you loved the result of it.
He helps you stand up before combing out the knot in your hair that he caused. "Well, the library is about to close for the night. We should get—"
"Do you want to come over to my place, Jakey?" You ask, holding his hands in yours.
He nearly chokes on his own saliva. "Uh,, y-yeah! We can!" He agrees, nodding almost frantically.
"I need help with biology. Specifically anatomy." You smile, trailing your finger down his chest.
"Yeah... I-I can help you." He whispers out.
"Yeah?" You giggle, pecking the corner of his mouth.
He'll help you with whatever it is if it means you'll repay him by giving him head.
#nana'shardhours'🌹#i need to get this man pregnant.#i need him#jake enhypen#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen jake sim#sim jaeyun#jake sim smut#jake sim#jake x reader#jake smut#enhypen jake#enhypen scenarios#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#smut#female reader#fem reader#x reader#jaeyun x reader#enhypen jaeyun
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never let it be said that shen yuan doesnt fight for his man with bloody teeth
he started off already risking being sent back to his dead body to protect baby binghe the best he could on his first meeting and then continued to do so once the ooc shackles came off, made sure he felt loved and safe and at home on cqm, gave him every advantage he could think of (and then wondered why binghe got out of the abyss 2 yrs early, honey...), but bc those scum villain blinders were on so tight, he doesnt accept that he (the man shen yuan inside the character shen qingqiu) can change his own path enough to not be killed, and plans his own death accordingly bc he wont ever fight against binghe again if he can help it, i just...
this man loves binghe so much that he couldnt even conceive of a world in which binghe loves him back - and thats not just the comphet olympics in his brain talking, sy genuinely believes he's unlovable and only maybe sort of likeable by his fellow peak lords, and part of that comes from being forced into a scum villains role and not knowing the bigger picture behind sqq's actions (not even touching on how sy barely saw the entire cast of pidw as people until binghe actually looked hurt to him), but the rest was already preprogrammed before he transmigrated, and i want to know who hurt him so bad - bc all sy could imagine is that the whole world should love binghe, bc thats howmuch sy loves him the story is supposed to go, but all he could imagine for himself was gratitude at best and his demise at worst, until the very moment that it becomes clear that lbh has done everything, fucking EVERYTHING, to get sqq to love him back and i just SCREAMS
i cant imagine that sy would just let binghe go if he should ever decide to love someone else, the possession goes both ways with these two, and sy would fight tooth and nail to keep binghe for himself
#svsss#bingqiu#ur honor in unwell about these men#what im saying is i want more content of sy going absolutely feral over lbh being in distress#i want to see sy tearing entire civilizations down for daring to not love his binghe#someone mentions that lord luo is looking at adding more consorts to his castle and sy loses his entire shit about it#confronting lbh the only way he knows how with cold cunning and strategic marriages of those rumored beauties to someone else in the court#before saying some shit equivalent to 'i dont want to share you' but in sqq-ese to lbh#listen im promise ill get back to hatman au eventually but this has been digging at my brain for a week straight now#any world where sqq even gets a WHIFF of lbh suddenly showing him slightly less affection is not a world he will abide by#will he actually use his words to say so? no cuz theres no plausible deniability that way#but will he take action about it??? oh with spiteful glee
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Au where eating the demons desire makes Laios immortal
Demons Curse
—
WHYYYYY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHYYYY SNIFF SNIFF IM SO SAD. IMS O SAD. I DREW THIS WHILE FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS. uaogh okay let me get my thoughts out about this
i originally was sorta happy in a bittersweet way cause i thought, well at least marcille has company, they have eachother to lean on now!
...but then i realized marcille isnt immortal. shes gonna live LONG, but shes not immortal. AND I GOT SO EXTREMELY SAD
can you imagine, trying to convince your friend not to extend everyones lifespans to a scarily long degree. and then having to help her deal with that fear and grief of losing her loved ones. AND THEN REALIZING YOURE IMMORTAL AND OUTLIVING ALL OF YOUR LOVED ONES INCLUDING HER. imagine being marcille as she gets older watching laios experience the same exact fear and grief she knows so well and knowing she cant do anything other than reassure him itll be alright. imagine being so scared to die and now suddenly you know someone who CANT die and realizing thats SO MUCH WORSE paces in circles. AAAAAAUGH
additional thought of this au, what if this was part of the demons curse to never allow laios' greatest desire to be granted? i mean laios is a very simple guy with simple wants, he wants to be loved, to eat good food, to study monsters, to be around his friends, and generally just live a normal life. being immortal would definitely complicate things... he'll be able to see and experience so many things but he wont be able to do it with his loved ones, not for long.
and also, being king, he'd probably be in that position for a long long time - maybe he'd willingly retire at some point but even after that where would he go then? what would he do? he cant go and find monsters to study, they all avoid him. i guess, explore the rest of the world? watch everything move on without him?
speaking of, imagine if he lived up until a time like modern day. so many years so many friends (gained and lost) and so many changes... that would be insane. THIS IS SPIRALLING INTO ME JUST GOING "WOULDNT IT BE FUCKED UP TO BE IMMORTAL" AJDNSJXBAH
anyways, final note, im reminded too of this "hand my my shovel, im going in!" animatic that haunts my mind forever AUGH its so good, and captures my immortality thoughts perfectly
#ARE YOU HAPPY... IM SO SAD. THIS FUCKED ME UP#I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE#i was originally gonna do chilaios/whole party angst but then i was like ���wait. marcille.” and got so fucked up about it that i had to do i#AJ. GRIPS YOUR SHOULDERS. WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO SAY SOMETHING SO CRUEL TO ME.... (<- silly)#but no yeah frankly i was really (pleasantly!) surprised to see this ask#anyways as someone who is both scared of death and scared of immortality i had many thoughts about this#thank you! i will be haunted by this forever#marcille#marcille donato#laios#laios touden#dungeon meshi#<- tagging just cause i need to hit people with psychic damage#im proud of this one! it looks pretty even though i struggled with the anatomy#big shout outs to that hand me my shovel im going in animatic by the way. crazy. i love it so much#dungeon meshi spoilers#I FORGOT TO ADD THAT
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as wwdits rounds out its final season, i cant help but think about how the movie ended. as in, the first movie, the one that started this, before the tv show, the one that put forth the idea to have a tv show for it.
which is, if you know how wwdits the movie ends, you know it ends disappointingly. viago reunites with his lover, yes, and transforms her into a vampire, but this is also the only real closure or straightforward happiness we get. vladislav got back together with his ex in a relationship that was unrewarding and harmful to both of them, the ex-familiar immediately makes her husband her new familiar, petyr is dead for good, and what we see of the werewolves is still tense, still clearly not the best situation nor what stu wanted, who went through something traumatic without a lot of closure. its a point being made about cycles repeating, about the disappointment of eternal life and being unable to escape all the same problems that you had as a human, about vampires never changing.
and i kind of worry, because i feel like this kind of disappointing "let down" ending is the kind of thing that would also be appropriate for wwdits the show. the vampires dont change. they try, and they attempt to break the cycle that theyve been following ever since they were made vampires, but they just cant. in essence, they all feel deeply depressed in a way that they cant actually name and refuse to acknowledge, and everything weve seen suggests that vampires will do everything they can to REFUSE to acknowledge that.
but its also the ending that i think people will hate. i think people want them to be happy and they want nandermo to be happy and a couple, they want everything to work out, but i dont think it will. and i dont think the show is any worse if it doesnt work out, if it doesnt end happily, if it continues the cycle of dissatisfaction, if it feels like theyre all just treading the same water. it doesnt make it any less impactful queer media, it doesnt undo the pride parade episode, it doesnt make what its done go away, it doesnt take away anything it already has.
i dont know. i worry a lot about people feeling like they are owed happy endings in media thats fundamentally disinterested in there being a happy ending.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#like. if we dont get a nandermo kiss or confession or whatever. i think its fine.#i think thats an actual thematic choice that i think they can make here#i think vampirism in wwdits is very good for looking at all of the ways you could have been happy#and feeling bitter and enraged about it and saying that youll do it better THIS time#instead of actually thinking about what might make you happy now#its a comedy because the vampires. for all their boasting and posturing. are kind of pathetic.#dont get me wrong im not saying ''wwdits is perfect''#im saying i just think theres trying to be a theme here that people arent paying attention to
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i am so tired of being the only schizospec person i know irl
#besides highschool friends i havent seen i years#theres probably someone else. theres got to be someone who understands this. there has to be#but i just cant find anyone#im tired#im tired of the looks i get if i so much as mention it#im tired of the weight of the room changing#i do everything i can but i cant change it#and i am sick of no one knowing what im going through#i just want someone to understand
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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i mean he's got all the outfits now might as well show them off
bonus:
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: illust#lmhs#listen . i would have done cool action poses for all 4 elements i had every intention to do all of them on one page#but there just..... arent any good kicky airbending stances i scoured high and low :((((#2 be fair i mean waterbending ws also tricky to make Leg-centric but i had a vision so i think i made it work :>#but by the time i got to air i got tired ! i gave up ! sue me !#everything is handstands and arm motions smh dont they know i have an Agenda. didnt they read the lore scroll.#im sending a strongly worded email as we speak#plus yuuji doesnt like airbending so when u rly think abt it im doing it for him <3#i think this pose is more in character than him using his airbending in combat#sorry 2 airbender yuuji enjoyers ! i do not like drawing him in the outfit !#the air acolyte robes only look good on toge and yuuta change my mind . u cant i will die on this hill#anyway earth and water r fine buut him firebending looked cooler in the sketch . th outfit looks better from the front but what can u do :/#also i wld like 2 thank those japanese pose catalogues of schoolgirls doing martial arts and Also the cinderace pyro ball swsh animation <3
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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instead of nightmare approaching horror to recruit him for the gang i think it would be cooler if he talked to undyne about it. because she would not hesitate TWICE to ship horror off to fuck knows where in the multiverse
like booo booo boring horror would never cooperate and agree to join nightmare without him doing some extra work that he cant be bothered 2 do bc its doesn't benefit him enough 4 the effort put in. AND THAT METHOD DOESN'T EVEN GIVE HIM MORE NEGATIVITY!!!!! nonono the king deserves a show :3 so he goes to undyne who's the craziest of everyone in horrortale and yk yk does some stupid mind manipulation. maybe in exchange for horror he makes up some bullshit lie about how he could save alphys (is she even alive atp) or the rest of the underground and provide them food (like the same deal that nightmare WOULD offer horror) and undynes like 70x more fucked up than horror so of course she's accept in a heartbeat. shes the queen!!!! shes supposed to provide for her subjects (even tho shes kinda. erm. making them all suffer)!!!! and all it would take was a sacrifice of the guy she lowkey doesn't like??? undyne has more reason to accept a deal like that from nm than horror ever would. and it wouldnt be the first time she sacrificed horror anyways lol
idk she sends royal guards out to snatch up horror in the middle of the day (nightmare told her to make it dramatic and tense :3) (all of snowdin would probably follow in concern because OMG WHERE IS SANS GOING????) and then yeah. just like that horrors gone! nightmare probably didn't even give him a chance to say bye to paps. undyne never ends up getting the food nightmare promised because hes a bitchass like that (and papyrus probably ends up taking up the full leader role of food provider for snowdin (if undyne even lets snowdin stay out of her control) good luck for him!)
if horror had a nickel for everytime he got forced to be a sacrifice he'd have 2 nickels. which is actually 2 too much in his eye HES PISSED!!!!!! rightfully so become man ☹️ taken away from his world without even a choice or a reason (to his knowledge) or anything to benefit him??? and now hes STUCK in this disney movie castle with two freaks who look like him (what the FUCK) and then the most annoying THING he's ever had the misfortune of getting kidnapped by. he is in misery. it sucks. he IS infact bitter. if he ever came back to horrortale (which he literally would never get to without dying or losing his stolen eye) he would 500% commit anarchy and finally get rid of undynes annoying ass ‼️‼️
#horror gets to join killer in the forcefully kidnapped into the gang group#would horror lose hope of ever getting back to horrortale???? yeah probably :3#unlike dust he doesn't have dt so he would NAUGHT be that persistent#dust would die trying getting back to dusttale. horror would just want to die after not being able to get back#unlike dust (debatable) or killer (he's done all he can do to help his world and wants to move on) horror still has attatchments in his au#i KNOW the constant thought that snowdin is starving without him HAUNTS him like a plaugue#im like 80% sure horrortale would not survive without horror. it would implode without horror to keep undyne somewhat in check#NOOOO because like what if it was after Aliza manages to help all of horrortale???? like undyne#like she manages to get through the undyne somehow and everything seems to be going up slowly#horror FOR ONCE has hope for everyone again and then nightmare comes in and undoes ALLLL of aliza's progress!!!!!!#THE HOPE GETTING RIPPED AWAY FROM HORROR AFTER SEEING THINGS RECOVERING WOULD DESTROY HIM (maybe idk)#can just imagine killer having to be on suicide watch for horror bc nm can tell he's in a bad mood bc of that hope#killer doesnt have to be on suicide watch for dust bc he wont let himself die if his human still exists but horror?????#horror would not have the same will that dust and killer do. he tries to jump off buildings every mission#horror leaning off a ledge and killer's just holding onto his hood like man stop it this is wasteful and pointless#why does he keep trying to kill himself and have to make killer deal with this. cant horror just like get the fuck over it and do his job#anyways dust and horror exchanging stories about their aus and reminiscing about things before it all went bad#horror gets pissy anytime dust makes an offhand comment tying his story about the genos#dust completely ignores him when horror mentions something about the famine and how it fucked everything up#they rather just take this moment to pretend everything is alright in their memories#in that moment its almost like looking into a mirror. ok triglycercule getting a bit TOO poetic there#horrordust seeing sans in eachother only when they talk about their pasts and making it a way to deal with all thats changed#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#nightmare's gang
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this literally refused to post for a few solid minutes. i miss him.
#epithet erased#epithet fanart#rick shades#wizard.png#BROTHERRRRRR#something that pissed me off sm while drawing this#while coloring i use a color to fill in everything#and go over it l8r#so i grab a random purple i think vibes close enough to his color#im thinkin#it should be fine to color over i probably wasnt that close#i grab an image of rick shades to colorpick from to kinda get my colors together#like i havent drawn this man in forever i cant remember the last time i did#literally fucking#like 1 degree of hue and saturation off from the purple of his hair#i had to change my fill in color#which like cool i guess i can do that??#made me so mad man#tbf i play what the hex for funsies#and spend like half my time alive staring at color palettes#anyways i gotta. sleep.#i have work and it is 6am LOL
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what if i wrote a twisters au……….
#storm chaser eddie diaz loses his wife trying to capture tornado data realises it’s too dangerous now that he’s a single parent#packs up his life and son and moves from north texas tornado country to LA takes a desk job#one of his old buddies calls him up tells him they’ve got new tech and can really study tornadoes now#but. they need someone who Knows storm chasing to do it#it could change everything it could keep people safe he just has to get them the data. one week.#enter: hotshot cowboy scientist tornado wrangler evan buckley#with his stupid hat and stupid sunshine smile and stupid heart of gold under all that nonsense#is he taking risks for the hell of it. putting himself in danger for internet clout and attention#or if eddie looks a little closer is that all going to fall away. someone smart and silly and only wanting to help#because buck and his friends are there Before During and most importantly After every disaster. making sure everyone’s taken care of#and maybe with him in eddie’s corner eddie can figure it out this time#can make it so he doesn’t always have to worry about his family being in danger of natural disaster#and maybe he can keep buck with his dumb jokes and giant heart and boneheaded bravery#ok sorry i’ve seen twisters three times in the last week i cant stop thinking about it#will maybe scribble some of this down when i have a minute#n
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My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️
#sin scribbles#bloodborne#good hunter#good hunter bloodborne#hunter bloodborne#bloodborne oc#bloodborne oc ; ruza#(ITS DONE CAN U BELIEVE IT I SURE CANT!!!!)#(yes. i repeat. this was largely inspired and enforced by me playin d/m/c5 again. LOL.)#(look.......is it my fault my favourite games happen 2 both be about monster hunters with cool swords???)#(anyways whatever AHEM *shuffles notes*)#(i do rly like ruza in the knights garb tbf its fun and flashy. especially in game where everything is dark af)#(very fun to draw. but i prefer her in the actual hunting garb so THATS WHAT WE STICKIN WITH.)#(at least for now idk my mind changes like the weather sis thats largely why i havent given her a new ref sheet)#(or posted her new bio bc tbh im cursed!!!)#(as soon as i post a ref or a bio i immediately want to change it all. so. i just wont LOL)#(if yall still curious about her u can just send an ask or a dm or smth i dont bite 😂)#(this was supposed to be a sketch sheet can u tell i lied deceived played myself to filth)#(bonus cainhurst armor look bc i love that set SOOOOO....much)#(watch out yall sin is back at it with her nonsense cloth physics again)
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
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you are expendable, you are not expected to return
#i know i said id try to keep pressure stuff in containment but this is more of a vent piece than pressure fanart#and it felt wrong posting it on the side blog since thats really more of a fandom space than a soap space#kinda need the catharsis of strangers knowin whats goin on with me bc ive been kind of MIA on all platforms in terms of new 3D art..#i had something really insane happen that was a major permanent change to my life in september/august (cant talk about it) and#i havent really been handling it well at all#pressures been like the sole thing thats kind of keeping me above water mentally#but simultaneously like the level of obsession im at is insanely unhealthy it is ruining everything else in my life. but i just dont know#what else i can really do to stay sane. log on roblox think about my gay fishes and then go to bed#normally i try to ride out little mental health bumps like these and get back to work but its been like 3 months now and#im still struggling to be able to focus on client work. i can take it easy on myself just fine but i really dont want to let clients down#anyways thats whats been going on with me if anyones noticed the absence#soap talks#my art#roblox pressure#hopefully that doesnt put it in the main tags i try to tag fandoms so ppl are able to block them#raine
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oh yea.. its all coming together
#now i just have to code the stupid thing#idk why my brain is procrastinating thatpart bc once i get started its pretty smooth from there. i just Dont Wanna#i mean i guess i could make the graphics before actually coding it but i should probably do the code first#i need extra time to make sure everything is laid out the way i want it before i start decorating ugh#i know theres a way to like hide and show an element without redirecting to another page so it doesnt have to reload all the time#but i cant remember how to do it..... i wanna use that for my journal entries so i dont have to manually update the entries section#each time i post a new journal entry. either that or i can have smth that lets me change the content without opening the html#all pages should link back to the homepage cuz i wanna keep the nav in one place..#cursor should have a neutral and hover sprite which should be easy.. and i was thinking of using dither me this for images#to give it an old win98 effect + the vhs overlay#yapping#diary#wip#oh shit and i need to make smth to redirect to the oc hub
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