#i do everything i can but i cant change it

[mossycakes]

i talk a lot about the absolute horror that daniel went through in s2ep5 and how, all twink and gay jokes aside, just imagining that night and the 5 subsequent others from his perspective is CHILLING. but the other night i was thinking about nicki, and how his entire life was pretty much an absolute horror story, complete with the idyllic happy relationship at the start that completely dissolves into horror.

think about it, one morning you wake up and your boyfriend is just GONE. the only trace of him is the open window and the bedsheets thrown back. you wonder, what the fuck happened? did he leave me? surely not, we're on like, the third story? but the door is still locked... is he dead? your friends tell you not to worry, and that this is just lestat, especially when a few weeks later lavish gifts sent in his name arrive for you and your friends. they take it at face value and suggest he just got bored, as he so often does, but something just isnt right. and to make matters worse, you feel haunted by him, by his presence, you can up and down SWEAR you keep seeing him around.

and then one day he returns, and hes fine...? and everyone is so happy to see him but hes a bit. weird. and they push him out on the stage and the next thing you know the audience is fleeing and your ears are ringing. you cant make heads or tails of this, so you follow him as he runs into a box, only to see him get shot. your ears are still ringing but youre pretty sure you screamed, and he didnt even flinch. he just stands there, like a walking corpse, and smokes vaguely from the wound. and then hes gone again, and youre still not convinced it wasnt a horrible dream, still not convinced youre not being haunted by a vengeful spirit in the shape of someone you loved.

well maybe you could get passed that. (not really). but maybe. maybe your life could possibly return to some sense or normality, shrouded by grief but nothing that you cant recover from. and then something worse, YES, WORSE! happens. something beyond nightmares. something passed describing. as youre taken kicking and screaming by a horde of... what even are they??? corpses??? husks??? suddenly this starts to make a little bit of sense, in the way that you were trying to be reasonable about this entire situation, and theres absolutely nothing reasonable or sane about it in the first place. and your boyfriend is, predictably, at the centre of it (because he always is) and now whatever hes got up to, whatever supernatural fucked up bullshit hes been dealing with, has started spilling over into your life and may just be the cause of your death.

well finally, after that fuzzy but harrowing ordeal, he takes you... home? to a dark and cold stone tower on the edge of paris? and holds you and talks to you and you think he still loves you, you think he thinks nothing has changed and that youre fine and this is fine and everythings fine, and that just pisses you off. but he holds you and talks to you and maybe you nod and agree with something. maybe you shouldntve, because then shit gets WEIRD and after everything, EVERYTHING youve been through your emotions start to spill over, and youre a vampire now, and you didnt really want to be, oh and vampires are real, and you didnt want any of this, you wanted to play violin in the theatre with your boyfriend, but now everythings fucked and youre the tragedy of a gothic horror. youre the tragic waste, you were doomed from the start, from the moment you stepped foot in paris or picked up that violin, it was already over.

and sure enough, after misery and torture and more misery and madness, long after youve accepted your position, accepted his, you make up your mind and seek out ways to bring the immortal to mortality. maybe you can finally find peace in this insanity. and the only way to do that is to leap into your own funeral pyre.

[noxxuniverse]

What do i do for my journey

I always try to stay positive but i dont know what to do. Ive had a few dreams of shifting and i think a mini shift but never a full shift. Ive been trying since 2021 and tried everything

Reprogramming my mind, loa, subliminals, scripting, lucid dreaming, hypnogogia, wake back to bed, sleep methods, awake methods.

I actually dont know what to do, it makes me jealous that some people are able to do it like why cant that be me, we’re both human so what gives them an advantage over me💔

First things first, you are trying way too hard. Take a break like damn. You shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. + All of these things you've just said are methods (apart from LOA which I'll get to in a moment.)

Secondly, your assumptions are what are reflected into your external world. You haven't shifted yet, because you have the assumption, that you can't shift. So change that and stick to it. I think you've put shifting on a pedestal, bring it down. You can manifest anything.

Thirdly, LOA can never fail you. It will only fail you if you've done something wrong. All you have to do is, decide, affirm, persist. Don't waver, don't let anything tell you that you aren't in your DR. You simply just ARE. You have shifted!

It's really not complicated, so de-tangle all of the complications you've put shifting in, and realize how simple it is. You're just becoming aware of your DRself in your DR.

[pansyfemme]

i am so tired of being the only schizospec person i know irl

[yaolmao]

simp

[hinamie]

i mean he's got all the outfits now might as well show them off

bonus:

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

[heal-the-ashes]

I feel like Hershel and Desmond would both be afraid of themselves.

If they stop and look at themselves. If they realize what they're doing came from years of pain. Would it all lead to a question of "Who else am I going to hurt?" "How many people have I unintentionally hurt because I never realized what I was really doing?" "How many things of my life have I missed because of this?" "How many things do I—or will I—regret?"

I feel like Layton self-sacrifices to a fault. That others get hurt trying to protect him. That he unknowingly drags other people through pain to get to where he thinks he needs to go. To solve every mystery there is. To get rid of his pain from outside sources, he needs to make as much of it himself under the titles "Determination" and "Amazing at solving things" and "Helping others" because then, how could those things ever hurt him? How could they ever be seen as pain? They're not like his (other) traumas. They don't cause pain at all. Not to mention what he thinks about danger. Danger? What danger? There's no danger here. Just people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want—Which is very sad and shows their pain and he'd very much like to help them in any way possible, if possible. If they show that they don't want to be helped, then it's better to leave them be.

But then again, nothing can ever be someone's fault other than his around him. I think he goes over betrayals thinking, "There must have been something I could have done." or "There must've been something I did." or "If I learn from this, I can make sure it never happens again." or... ... I think he has a hard time accepting that things really aren't his fault / there's really nothing he can do about some situations. Actually, when it comes time for Unwound Future and the whole Evil Layton arc... The only time in which he actually raises his voice is at himself. Is at the version of him that betrayed all of the morals in which he's held onto for so long. But a part of me thinks that, if he knew things were actually his fault, he'd have a problem with that, too... I mean, look at how he reacts to him getting puzzle answers incorrect in CV. In CV. In the 4th game of experience that he's had with puzzles. And a movie. With all that experience and he gets something wrong... he's disappointed in himself. Going back to the UF/LF thing... "I demand an explanation!!" I don't think I'll ever forget that line. I think, from his journal... We know he was trying to think of reasons why he would do something like this. Idk. I'm. Thoughts are not thinking anymore. Um. Wow I really lost my thought process. I was also gonna talk about Desmond. But I guess that's not happening at the moment.

[officialrickshades]

this literally refused to post for a few solid minutes. i miss him.

[shitouttabuck]

what if i wrote a twisters au……….

[undefeatablesin]

My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[mrmeepsmadmind]

SOCIETY KEEPS KILLING ONE OF THEM BCS THEIR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE INCAPABLE FOR GALAXIES TO HANDLE !!!!!

[moonlume]

tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything

[dailykugisaki]

Day 355 | id in alt

I was out here just "Wow I should color this so they know I'm gonna put air Jordans on Kugisaki Nobara fortnite tomorrow" then I didn't and just slapped some random shit on. She looks nice though.

[puppppppppy]

oh yea.. its all coming together