#but i needed u to see what i see when i mention him as a dad

[daughterofevil158]

Posting the "Damon has to suffer thru having multiple platonic & romantic soulmates" AU that i've been writing in my drafts for the past 2 weeks because unlearning shame is so cool and sexy of me (if any of these give u inspiration to make something, feel free to use)

mostly imagining it with my favorite Damon ships (platonic or romantic) + platonic Toshiko (get older brother'd, idiot). I'm mostly thinking of putting Damon thru the wringer when i pick the different soulmarks he gets (now he feels a need to become someone worthy of all these people he's connected to on top of all his canon issues)

◊ Ulysses has "what you write on your skin appears on your soulmate's." This, thusly, makes him the 1st and probably only one Damon is in contact with pre-EGA with after one too many times of finding "buy new journals" and other such reminders on his arm. They probably did exchange number at some point, but let's be real, Ulysses is more likely to remember to bring his pen than his phone on a daily basis anyway. Imagine Damon researching for a debate and briefly mentioning the topic to Ulysses, who immediately starts writing several historical that support Damon's topic. (Also, whenever Damon's about to eat/sleep, he writes a reminder for Ulysses to do the same.)

◊ Mark has "music your soulmate is listening to pops into your thoughts" (Damon is frantically searching up the song that's been playing in his head all week with no results. Then Mayhem drops their newest track and he does the Pointing Rick Dalton pose. Mark chooses to believe that the increase in his own songs playing in his head is just himself thinking about them because the alternative would kill him via embarrassment)

◊ Jett has "you feel phantom pain whenever your soulmate gets injured" (I'll be honest, i chose this specifically to be a dick to Damon. Imagine the audience watching one of Damon's debates, and they assume the shaking & stuttering is due to nerves until he collapses mid-sentence. This also leads to Jett feeling even worse about his accident :D) (On a lighter note, every time Damon gets that "seatbelt jerk" pain from sudden vehicle stops on Jett's end, he'll pinch the flesh between his thumb and pointer as revenge)

◊ If it's canon compliant, Eva gets "last words your soulmate will say to you." I initially thought of "soulmate can't lie to you" for the funny irony, but then my brain went "wait. Wolfgang." He has either that or "timer that marks your soulmate's death." In a No-KG version, Wolfie still has "can't lie" and Eva has the "first words" version instead.

◊ Toshiko (this is the only one that's 100% platonic) gets "matching tattoos." It's on the right wrist, a green snake in a heart shape, with a smaller pink snake within also making a heart ♡ (She insists that it's only fair if they get matching flamingo tattoos once she's of age. Damon Does Not Want To. He does anyway.) (Only semi-related, but imagine that Toshiko also has a dimple but on the opposite side of Damon's)

◊ I considered Diana having "greyscale vision until you first touch your soulmate" but i feel that would make her talent like 1,000x harder to do (i don't use makeup) so i dialed it back to "can't see your soulmate's eye color until you touch"

Kai, Cassidy, and Desmond are also Damon's soulmates, but I haven't come up with anything for them yet. In this AU, people normally get 2-3 soulmates, with higher numbers being increasingly unlikely (and making Damon with his 10 soulmarks a freak of nature, even if most of them end up being platonic).

(as an aside, damon's parents are so happy that their son will have so many people who will come to care for him)

[linddzz]

Idk if you've talked abt this before, but how did u think the jayvik divorce was gonna go pre s2? Because I thought i kinda knew were this was going, with Jayce getting involved in politics and Viktor getting sucked into dark magic; and the ominous line "Jayce will understand" (I thought this was an obv setup and that he wouldn't, of course) and then SEASON 2 CAME AND PULLED THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER ME, like whatever i expected it was NOT WHATEVER THIS WAS

I think I've just mentioned it offhand when ranting about how fucking nuts they went but yeah I don't think anyone expected what happened??

My expectations were pretty similar to yours. I figured the attack would get Jayce more radicalized and would build on the growing fear based prejudice he displayed on the bridge, and hextech weapons would be their breaking point. With shimmer being what made Jinx more powerful, and Viktor using shimmer on himself...yeah I also assumed the "Jayce will understand" line was going to become tragically ironic. I actually kind of dreaded season 2 because I liked Jayce, couldn't see things playing out any other way for him, and didn't want to watch him go down a path of embracing weapons and reacting badly to Viktor's self experimentation! I didn't want to see the rift they had just started to repair get torn apart again!

I couldn't guess at all about Viktor though. I had some ideas of how he would end up as the machine herald by increasingly augmenting more and more parts of his body with the shimmer and hextech combo, but couldn't see how he could get there. At the end of Season1 he seemed pretty resigned to death and fully against using the hexcore. I just couldn't figure out how someone as resolute and firm in his principles would change on that decision.

Which ...I guess means I understood Viktor as a character way more than I understood Jayce lmaoo. Turns out I was right! Viktor wouldn't have changed his stance on using the hexcore on himself to save himself! Even with all my jokes about how Jayce couldn't stay out of Viktor's personal space, I did not anticipate "Jayce will understand" being CORRECT and that Jayce would understand so much that he would use Viktor's own notes.

Technically, Jayce making hextech weapons was why Viktor left I guess??? But it took a second attack to make Jayce break on that stance, which made said decision more understandable, and you'd only catch that the weapons were part of why Viktor left if you noticed that he was staring at their blueprints before he said that he needed to leave.

Tbh every act of season 2 had me going "ok I think I know how this divorce may play out now" only for Arcane to go "champ, you have no idea how insane they are about each other"

[somuchforahobby]

crawling back to you (pt. 2 of "how many secrets can you keep")

Second and final part of "how many secrets can you keep" Tags: Bad flirting + lots of angst + fluff Warnings: 1 mention of death / a few ugly arguments / you and nikolai are both jerks and u kinda hate zoya so sorry for that 😭 Word count: 5.5K GIFS belong to @dearemma Read on AO3 Writer's note: i am very happy this exists and I can't get enough of it but this might be my (temporary) goodbye to Nikolai. I hope you have enjoyed this ride as much as I have :)

-----

“Whatever we do next will define how wars are fought in the future. We should think about that.” Nikolai said before the council. He was standing beside the map, their closest advisors on his sides while you sat on your usual spot drinking coffee.

You changed your strategy; if before you avoided Nikolai at all costs, now you were everywhere he looked. You did not miss a single council meeting, breakfast or dinner, and invited him to everything your agenda allowed.

“You won’t win this war with the biggest weapon, Nikolai.” He turned to see you with wide eyes, you continued, “You will win this war with the fear you can inspire. An alliance with Shu Han and Novyi Zem will be enough for Fjerda to drop to their knees.” 

“And how, my dear wife, will I have that?” There was a slick of annoyance in his tone, your smirk deepend.

“When your beloved wife sends word to her daddy to stop supplying steel to anyone but Ravka and its allies.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, love, but that is not enough to make them fear us.” His gaze returned to the army generals.

“It would also be a shame if Kerch pirates sacked Shu Han and Novyi Zem, don’t you think?” 

“That would be very interesting.” Zoya turned to see you with a grin, “how would you reach out to them?”

“Oh well, a Queen can not have any sort of link to lowlifes and scoundrels, can she?” You shrugged, “But it wouldn’t surprise me if Kerch’s organized crime learnt of Ravka’s economic interest with their country and decided to protect them. With the right incentives, of course.” You took a sip of your coffee, feigning innocence.

“I will not pay for pirates nor organized crime to do dirty work.” 

You rolled your eyes, “darling, pay attention here, you will not” your tone was obscenely condescending, “you nor Ravka will encourage them, they’ll do it because it’s what’s best for their own businesses.”

Nikolai sighed, his eyes still on the map.

“Can you make that happen?” Zoya asked, suddenly interested.

Your lips quivered, “maybe”

“What do you need for that maybe to become a yes?” She pressed.

“For the King to ask me very nicely.” You purred with a diabolical smirk.

***

“This is risky” Nikolai said while reading.

You sighed, thinking he would not agree to sign it. “Every reform process is a risk, it is a political decision whether or not to change your country into what you want it to be.”

His eyes remained reading, “but right now? In the middle of a war?” 

“There is never a good time to release women from oppression.” You decided to stand your ground.

His eyes finally raised to yours. “Would you have signed it?” There was a slight sadness in his question. 

The new law stated that all girls should attend school until eighteen years old, and then they could get married as long as they signed a declaration agreeing to the match.

“I don’t fall into that law because I am not Ravkan, Nikolai.” 

“But would you?” 

“I would have” you lied and he saw right through it, a hopeless sigh leaving his mouth. “Well no, not really” he nodded but before he returned his sight to the paper you continued, “at least not until I meet you.” 

That brought a smirk back to his face and air back to your lungs, “Would my dashing looks have been enough?” 

You tapped your finger on your mouth, fake-thinking, “well maybe after meeting you and seeing this place, I mean, look at it!” You turned to look at the walls around you.

“I like this, myshka, I really do” he moved the pages in his hands, “but it will cause us trouble.”

“Nikolai if you’re not gonna sign it just say it.” Your tone was soft and respectful, even if your blood was boiling. “I respect it.”

Without answering you he drew a signature at the end of the final page and extended the pages back to you. “You know what to do.”

Taking them, you rounded his desk until you were next to him, leaning against the wood. “Thank you, Moi Tsar.”

He leaned back into his chair, raising his face to look at you standing, “I’d recommend you learn to like my face better than this Palace darling, because after you have that published we might have to live in the tunnels.”

“I give you permission to throw me to the horde and save yourself.”

He smiled, “Now that is one idea that I won’t ever implement.”

After a minute of comfortable silence and staring, he extended one hand to you, you placed your own against his, which he then led to his lips, kissing your knuckles. 

“Your Royal Highness” a valet said from the door, “General Nazyalensky requested your presence in the war room.”

Nikolai sighed, exhaustion all over his grim face.

“Can I go with you?”

“This appears to be an urgent yet confidential matter.” The man pressed.

Nikolai looked at you, without granting you an answer. “May I please see you tonight?” He said, your knuckles still on his lips.

You sighed, a grimace on your face, “I guess not.” 

*** Every morning you asked for a tailor to make up your face, a slight blush on your cheeks, curling your eyelashes and fixing your hair was the standar. You also chose the tighter dresses with the lowest cleavage, just to torture Nikolai a little. You were the first to arrive at Council meeting and the last to leave, always pitching in ideas and debating the King’s strategies. And you came up with good ideas as well, you wanted to tease him but you also knew what was your goal in Council, but that morning the energy felt different.

It all had started when you walked in, nearly everyone looked at you strangely. Nikolai gave you his trademark smirk, gesturing to a seat next to him.

“Your majesty, the following information is sensitive, we recommend the Queen to leave the room.” a First Army general said after the first half of the meeting

“Excuse me?” you muttered, Nikolai placed a hand on your arm, insting you to calm down.

Your husband walked next to the officer, leaning close to him, listened to a few sentences before nodding and returning back to you.

“Myshka, for this time I think you should not be here.”

You did not give him an answer, you merely stood up and left.

You were waiting in his study when he walked in.

“May I say you look absolutely ravishing when you are upset?” Nikolai flirted with his usual smirk.

“You may but it will not change my mood.” 

“It might lead you to use your energy differently.” He winked as he approached you. “Please, darling, have a seat.” He sat next to you on the loveseat.

“What was that, Nikolai?” 

Leaning back in a relaxed position, he answered, “Ah, love I know my flirting is a bit rusty, but not enough to make you wonder what the hell am I doing”

“I am not in the mood for this, Nikolai-“

“Saints” he muttered,

“Why did you kick me out of council?” Your tone was firm but kind, even if you wanted to kill him right there and then, a part of you hoped he had a reasonable motive to do so.

“Ahh” he sighed, “there are delicate matters in this damned kingdom that I’d rather shield you from.”

“Like your late night buddy?” You pressed with a slight playful grin.

“Indeed” he matched your grin, “this one is a bit more… vulgar and common. It does not require your attention in the slightest.”

You scoffed, “As opposed to the gardens and the Palace decorations that require my intricate and academic dedication.”

“Precisely.” He smiled. “Dear, I wouldn’t have asked you to leave if it wasn’t a truly delicate matter I want you far away from.”

You nodded unconvinced, “Is it dangerous?”

“Not really.” He grabbed your hand and by the way he drew circles with his thumb, you knew it was, “I just think you’d sleep easier without this bit of information.” His fond smile made you trust him.

“Alright.” Your chin was up regally, “but please let this be the first and last time you kick me out of a political matter.”

“Of that you can be certain.” He kissed your knuckles to seal the deal.

***

It wasn’t. Which is why you had chosen a next victim in your war when you were on your way out after some First Army officer kicked you out of Council, again. 

“Count Nerenski, what a pleasure to see you again.” You said with a smile.

The man seemed tortured, a grimace on his face told you enough of how clear Nikolai’s threat had been. “Your majesty, the pleasure is mine.” He bowed awkwardly.

“I was just leaving for a walk, would you like to join me?”

The poor Count turned yellow, “I am here to see his Majesty, The King, I would not want to interfere with your plans for the day.”

“Nonsense!” you looped your arm on his, “Besides, my dear husband is really busy right now with the war council and he would not want you to wait by yourself.” 

He did not stir, he followed your pace easily, but if his slight trembling told you anything, it was that he was terrified. You sent a prayer for forgiveness to the Saints, but it was quickly dismissed when Anton began speaking.

Your mother was right when she said if you want to earn a man’s interest, ask him about himself. The man would not stop talking about his Estate, his hunting, his art; if this did not mean an easy win in your war against Nikolai, you would have left him standing outside the Palace for hours.

“You should visit my Estate soon, your majesty. I am sure we can find some other activities I can join you in while the Tsar is busy.” A flirtatious smile spread through his mouth.

“Perhaps” you fake-smiled and kept walking by his side, “where do you say it is?” 

While he spoke, you guided him to the very place in the gardens you knew was spottable from the war room, and just like magic, a guard appeared requiring Count Nerenski back in the Palace.

When you saw Nikolai standing by the dais, you did not hide your smirk, which he noticed and grinned back.

“Anton, what brings you around today besides flirting with my wife?” Nikolai spat at him as soon as you stepped inside the Palace.

Count Nerenski was appalled; the man was a flirt but you did not want him to be sent to prison. “Oh, love, you’re so funny!” You threw your arms around Nikolai’s neck, placing a kiss on his cheek, “I merely asked him to walk with me to the gardens while he waited for the council meeting to end.” 

Nikolai put a possessive hand on your waist, pulling you to him, the killer stare was still in his eyes. “Well, the council meeting is over so please, Anton, join me at my study.” He gestured to the hall, Anton following his instruction neatly. You hanged to his shoulders, your face inches from his. He turned to you with an amused smirk, “That was low.”

“All is fair in love and war.” You said with a seductive smile.

“Which one is this?”

“Both”

***

“Heading out, darling?” Nikolai asked from the dais of the stairs, your carriage already waiting outside.

“Yes, I have a busy day so if you don’t mind I will get going.” You answered without looking back. Your ladies in waiting, already standing by the carriage.

“I do mind” he approached, “I’m afraid I’ll miss you terribly so I must accompany you.”

You turned to find him much closer than you expected, “I’d be honored, moi tsar.” You gritted the words out.

“Two can play this game, myshka.” He said in your ear.

You visited a women’s hospital. In every room a young pregnant lady would batter her eyelashes at the King while you asked the nurses and doctors for their supply needs.

“Wouldn’t you like one?” The main doctor asked while you walked through the cradles.

Nikolai rushed to answer, “oh, doctor, we can’t wait to get that lucky.” You merely smiled.

“You do know how those are made, right?” You whispered to your husband while the doctor continued explaining the different areas of the hospital.

Nikolai scoffed, “would you like me to show you?” 

“I am just wondering if you actually know?” you asked sarcastically, “since you’re praying for us to get lucky while not getting it done.”

“I can’t have you questioning that, love, now can I?” With a hand on your waist and a winning smirk, he whispered, “I’ll answer you anytime, anywhere, as long as you drop your little hatred act.” He winked before following the doctor.

***

“I respectfully request your majesty to derogate this law that will hurt the Ravkan values and economy.” A Duke stood before you and Nikolai, making his case against your latest project. “Treats must be made over land, products and cattle, you can not take away one of the main strategies of negotiation.” 

“You will have to come up with new ways to negotiate that do not involve the freedom of children.” Nikolai tried to dismiss his claim.

“They are not children, they are women!” He pronounced it like an insult, making your skin crawl.

“They are human beings and wielders of rights, and as such they will be educated until eighteen years old and then, and only then, they will marry if they wish.” You sat next to your husband while he dictated his decision. Proud of him but upset that your ideas had brought him too many problems.

“When women are educated their value as a wife decreases, moi tsar.” The Duke insisted.

“I wholeheartedly disagree.” Nikolai’s comeback arrived with a smirk.

“The Kerch values are not Ravka’s” the Duke turned to you before returning his gaze to Nikolai, “There are businesses, alliances and peace that can only be granted with a marriage alliance, shouldn’t you know that moi tsar? Given you’re so engulfed by a common cunt.” The man spat on the floor, your eyes widened in horror.

Nikolai stood and the twins were beside him instantly, “seize him” he ordered, “take him to a cell, he will face a trial for injuries to the crown and treason. Take him out of my sight.” 

When he turned his body towards you his eyes were closed, his chest moving up and down in rapid motions.

“Thank you” you whispered.

“Do not thank me, a man like that has no place in my country.”

He stormed out of the throne room.

***

Most of the time you were not this anxious, but the festivities had you going ballistics. Back home, whenever you were this anxious, you’d cook, but in the Palace that was not a possibility you had, until today.

You were cutting vegetables when Nikolai walked in with a puzzled look on his face. “Your majesty?” He placed both hands on the counter, opposite from you. “What are you doing here?”

You scoffed looking at him; he was wearing his First Army uniform as always, with his hair perfectly in place, yet he was hunching on the kitchen of the Palace, where -you were certain- he had never been before. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I am looking for my wife, have you been blessed to see her by any chance, cook?” He flirted.

“I don’t think so, no.” 

“Mmm” he sat on a stool, “is that enough for two?” With his chin he pointed at the vegetables you were boiling. 

“Depends”

“Oh?” He smiled, “on what?”

“On whether or not you’ll help me chop that.” You pointed at the onion with the knife. With a smile, he grabbed a chopping board, a knife and one onion. “How did you find me?”

“Tamar told you ran away, I sent a search party to town but the minute I saw Anna the cook sleeping in the gardens I knew where to find you.” He looked up with a grin, “why did you run?”

You sighed, “I was overwhelmed, Nik.”

His eyes widened for a second at the nickname, regaining his poker face shortly. “Overwhelmed by a party?”

“Overwhelmed that everyone knows my husband better than I do.” You did not meet his stare.

“That is not fair, some people here have known me my entire life.”

“I feel like an idiot when someone asks for your favorite color, food or music and I stand in silence while Genya answers everything in a heartbeat.”

Nikolai sighed, “Genya spent the last 15 years of her life with my mother, she knows those things” leaning back and folding his arms he continued, “green, pancakes and sea-shanties.”

A scoff left your mouth involuntarily, raising your eyes you found him smirking. “Thank you.”

“Yours?”

“Pink, the soup I am preparing and” you bit your lip thinking, “ars nova.”

He nodded, “Anything else you’d like to know?”

“Is this the first time you enter the kitchen?” You resumed your work and pointed the knife at his.

Nikolai laughed, denying with his head while chopping the onion, “You must remember I was the second son, and a bastard at that, I ate here all the time.” 

Your head shot up, “really?”

“Yeah, I was friends with the workers’ children, I’d sneak here to have a jam sandwich whenever.”

“And where did you learn to chop onions?” 

“At sea” he raised his eyes to you, “no fancy cooks 24/7 in the Volkvolny.”

“I can’t believe the fancy prince of Ravka would get his hands dirty.” You teased.

“And the King has a taste for getting dirtier, dear.” He shot you a wink and you blushed. He passed you the chopped onion and you put it in the soup, you did the same with your own work and then covered the pot. You turned to him with your arms folded.

“We have a few minutes, what do you have in mind?” 

He raised both eyebrows and smirked.

“Not that, definitely.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Why did you come here?” He asked, leaning forward on the counter.

“I craved normality, for once. And cooking gives me that sense of home.” 

Your confession made him smile, “so you kicked every worker out and threatened them for not telling anyone where you were, very normal dear.” 

You laughed, “I did what I could.” Your eyes wandered the place, “do you ever wonder if all this is necessary?” 

“The kitchenware? I think it is.” 

“No” a scoff, “all of this Nikolai. Thirty kitchen workers, seven gardens, a lake, a thousand rooms—“ 

“A monarchy” he interrupted you.

Your eyes returned to his, expecting to see him upset but he seemed relaxed, “maybe that too” 

Nikolai stood up and rounded the counter to stand in front of you. “Saints help me, my wife will be the leader of the revolution.” 

You looked up to him, just a step from you, and you realized just how big he was; his broad shoulders appearing bigger with the uniform lapels, your eyes barely reached his chest. He could overpower you so easily and yet you challenged him. “If you don’t treat me nicely I might.”

He laughed, extending both arms to the sides, “I will spend my life treating you more than nicely; not to keep my crown but to persuade you to keep yours.”

You turned to the pot, uncovering it to see the progress, in a lame attempt to hide from Nikolai.

“I miss you, myshka.” He put your hand between his gloved ones. 

“I miss you too.”

He pulled you to him, “then please let’s go back to where we were” his eyes were warm and kind on you, pleading.

“We can’t” your own filled with tears, “not until you trust me.”

“It’s me and the monster I do not trust.” His sobbed whisper broke your heart.

“I trust you enough for the both of us.” 

The next thing you knew his lips were on yours, both of his hands on your cheeks leaning you backwards to deepen the kiss. Your barriers were a joke, you gave up every single inch he demanded with his tongue. He pushed you against the counter, guiding you leg to his hip when the sound of water boiling made you push him away.

You gasped for breath while looking up to him, your hunger quickly shifting paths.

“You should take your seat.” You instructed him after regaining your breath.

“As you order, moi tsaritsa.”

***

You had a genuine smile on your face during Nikolai’s birthday party. You even opened the dance floor with him.

“This is lovely, myshka, thank you.” Nikolai said with a gilded smile as he swayed you through the dance floor.

“I’m glad you like it.” You smiled back.

His hands moved to your waist as a slower waltz played, “this is so easy” he whispered in your ear.

“Dancing?”

“Being your husband” Nikolai’s warm eyes sink into yours, “I don’t have to be anybody else, being myself is enough.” 

“Of course” you reassured him, “but I was going to ask which one of you is your favorite?” You asked playfully.

“Oh? What do you know?” One of his eyebrows lifted in question.

“Well, Genya shared a few stories with me today.”

He laughed, “did she tell you how my mother called me?” 

“Yes”

A slight blush crept through his face, “I will fire her as soon as possible.”

It was your turn to laugh, “I forbid you from doing that.”

Nikolai bit his lip, “I hate to pull ranks on you, honey, but I am the king; nobody is above me.” 

“We’ll see about that later” your smug answer erased his winning smirk off his face and replaced it with a blush.

Your dance was interrupted by a man whispering in Nikolai's ear; you spotted Zoya already leaving the Saloon, so this could only mean your husband would be following shortly. Which you confirmed when he looked back at you with an apology hiding in his warm eyes.

“I can go with you” you attempted.

“That won’t be necessary, love, enjoy the party.” He turned to leave but you grabbed his wrist.

“Nikolai, please”

“Stay” He replied in a serious tone. “I will come back later.”

Couples kept dancing all around you.

“Do you not trust me anymore?” 

“It is not that”

“Then what is it? I was meant to be a political advisor.”

He looked around, “Let's not do this here.”

“Nikolai, stop pushing me away.” Your voice cracked at the request.

He took a step back to you, his hands laid tenderly on your face, “everything I do is for your safety, love can’t you see that?” His condescending tone was enough to bring back all your anger, but he kept you in place. “Let’s not make a scene, smile and keep dancing.”

“No” angry tears were already in your eyes.

“Do as I say.” His tone was commanding, then he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, when you looked  back at  him there was a perfect smile on his face.

“I hate you right now.” You said with a fake smile.

He knocked on your door that night, harsher than usual. You opened with a grimace. “No need to prove your rank further, moi tsar.”

You met a strange version of your husband, his hair disheveled and frowning. “Do you want out of this?” 

“Excuse me?” A strong smell of whiskey reached your nose, “are you drunk?”

He sighed and repeated, “Do. You. Want. Out. Of. This?” 

Your stomach turned, you could feel your blood falling to your ankles. “Are you asking me to leave you?”

“I am asking if you’d like it so.”

Your anguish turned to anger. “If I’d like it so?” You took a step closer to him, out of your room. His eyes widened given you were in a nightgown with your hair down, “how thoughtful of you, moi tsar. I do not. Want. Out.” You pointed each word with a finger on his chest. Now you were both standing in the middle of the hall, guards peering through the corner of their eyes. 

“It seems like you do, you’d be happier anyway!”

“Stop with deciding for me, first the marriage and now the divorce. Allow me to make choices by myself for once, Nikolai.”

“You’ve grown to hate me! Forgive me if I offer you an easy way out of your worst nightmare!”

“My worst nightmare is a blue kefta standing outside your door! waiting for you to go to bed, Nikolai. Do not turn this on me when you are the one who has disrespected me over and over!”

He leaned closer to you, “I have told you, there is nothing going on between the General and me.”

“Enough is going on for me to hate it! even if, for once in your life, your dick is not to blame.”

“Alright that is enough.” He turned to leave.

“The truth is all I ask of you, and you cannot give me that.”

“You have the truth!” He turned back to you with a grimace of pain, “I hide nothing from you.”

“Then why do you not let me into Council anymore?”

A cruel scoff left his mouth, “alright, you want to know why? Because I have riots all over the country because of your laws” he pointed a finger on your chest, the touch left a sting of guilt, “guards have been killed, people have been arrested and I wanted to shield you from learning that.” There was an air of arrogance in his tone and movements, like he had been dying to see your face when learning this information.

“I am sorry”

“No, love, I am sorry for prioritizing your feelings while having protesters at our gates just for you to light up this place from the inside.”

“Saints” A sobbed cry left your mouth, “I still wish you would have told me before, so I could have been there for you as your friend, your confidant, your advisor, your wife, instead you kept crawling back to her.” Your tone was lower than before, tears gathering in your eyes.

“I am crawling back to you!” he was practically yelling now, “begging for forgiveness and understanding! Begging you to understand as my queen why I have made such decisions. But if you won’t I will prevail in my place as King, waranteing those choices that have been made for your safety and Ravka’s. I will not apologize for putting your safety first, above everyone else’s. And if you can’t understand that, then you are no queen.” He spatted.

You looked at him with weary eyes, his last sentence had been a knife on your chest, and he had noticed it too, taking a step closer with kinder eyes.

“Maybe I am not.” You whispered, “maybe I am just an idiot who loves you.” 

You walked back into your room and cried until you fell asleep.

***

Since that night you did not leave your rooms. You wallowed in solitude, refusing to let anyone in but an occasional meal a day.

Weeks passed without anyone asking you to go out, but every single night, Nikolai knocked on your door, asking you to let him in and begging for forgiveness.

You did not summon the courage to answer any of them.

*** After your month of solitude, you decided you had to leave. So you got yourself ready, as best as you summoned the effort to, putting on a dress but letting your hair down and not bothering to call a tailor to make up your face.

You finally walked out, everyone in the Palace looked at you with wide eyes before bowing to your confident strut. You let yourself into his study, ignoring his valet’s explanation of who was inside.

Nikolai stood up when the door opened, ready to storm whoever dared to interrupt his meeting. You saw some First Army officials do the same, but the moment your husband laid eyes on you he ordered everyone out with a shocked reaction.

“Myshka” he looked at you with tender eyes, “you look-” Nikolai walked to you, looking like a bull in a china cabinet, cautious not to break anything.

“awful, I figure” you interrupted him with an unbothered tone, he denied with his head. You looked up to him as he stood a step from you. “How is everything?”

“Much better. The riots have stopped although we had to send some incentives to the leaders and work with several communities to reach peace agreements.”

“Did you derogate my laws?”

“It did not have to get to that.” He reassured you with a soft smile.

“Good, thank you.” You cleared your throat. “I want to go home” 

“This is your home” he whispered

“No, it is not.”

“I-” he swallowed, “I am your home” 

You looked away, the tears in your eyes threatening to come out, “I thought that too” 

“Myshka, if you go, we will never go back to where we--”

“Well maybe we shouldn’t, Nikolai. Maybe I should go, and you should declare our marriage null and find someone else.” The cracks in your voice made it clear enough that you did not want that either, yet he asked.

“Is that what you want?”

“That’s what you wanted” 

“No” he quickly corrected you, “If that is what you want I will respect it, but that is NOT what I want and you know it.” 

“I am not fit for the job” you cleared your face with the back of your hand and by the way his own turned into fists, you guessed he was dying to do it himself, “you deserve a queen.”

“You are my queen.”

“I am not, and I will go home.”

“Love, please don’t” Tears started to gather in his eyes.

“We could not make this” you repeated the gesture he did on your wedding day, “work”

“Don’t do this to me, please.” He sank to his knees, grabbing your wrist as he looked up to you with weary eyes.

You knelt in front of him, “you deserve a proper queen, Nikolai.” You laid a tender kiss on his cheek before standing up and leaving the room.

He did not knock on your door that night. ***

You had only been to his rooms on your wedding night, when he had promised to never abuse you. And given the latest events you did not think you’d be getting inside any time near, much less the night before you departed back to Ketterdam, but his screaming made you change your mind.

The second you realized it was his terrified screams in the room next to yours, you jumped out of bed and ran there without even pulling out a robe. With the corner of your eye you saw the twins running to his door as well, but before they could ever say a thing, you opened the door and locked yourself in.

Nikolai was in his bed, screaming in pain, his hands and feet were chained to the posts, while he helplessly pulled and tugged, trying to ease himself from whatever nightmare was clouding his mind.

Drops of sweat went down his face and neck while he frowned in pain, guttural screams and sobbed cries filled the room.

“Nikolai wake up” You sat next to him.

“GET AWAY FROM ME” he shouted with eyes still closed.

“Nikolai” you touched his face and he leaned into your palm; tenderly you continued to call his name repeatedly but his terror was only increasing. You could hear the twins already calling you out and threatening to knock down the door while your husband shrieked in pain.

Out of ideas, you climbed on his lap, pushing yourself against his agitated chest, while your fingers wiped his forehead.

“Easy, love, I am here with you.” You mumbled with your face crooked on his neck, kissing his skin softly. The weight of your body against his helped to lure him just enough to stop pulling the chains. “Nikolai, my love, everything is alright, it is just a nightmare.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you, go” he cried in his sleep.

“You would never hurt me and I would never leave you.” You said in his ear.

The door opened with a loud kick and soon enough Zoya and Tolya were next to you.

“Your majesty, you need to leave this room.” Zoya instructed while Tolya tried to lift you off Nikolai. You slapped his hands off and returned to your previous position. 

“He does not need an army, he needs to wake up.” You nearly yelled.

“He will turn into the monster, this is how it usually goes.” Zoya spatted, “He would want you to leave.”

“Then wake him up before he does!”

“We can’t, moi tsaritsa” Tolya said with shame.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“The King is heavily drugged now, it is physically impossible for him to wake up before morning.” Zoya’s face remained proud, with her chin up and perfect posture.

“HE IS WHAT?” You spat.

“There is a solution but he has never taken it in this state” Tolya explained.

Under you Nikolai kept struggling. 

“Wake him up, NOW.” You ordered.

“Your majesty, with all due respect you do not know what you are aski-” Zoya began but you interrupted her.

“I am not asking, I am ORDERING you to wake him up.”

Where did you summon the courage to speak to her like that would be a mystery for the centuries, because all the time you had been here you barely dared to look at her and now you were ordering her to do something while you hugged your drugged off husband like a koala. With pursed lips, she looked at Tolya, who carried you off Nikolai with an ease you had never witnessed while Zoya took out a small vial and put a few drops on Nikolai’s mouth, it was a matter of seconds when he woke up startled.

“Where is she” he mumbled, still struggling to wake up. 

You stopped struggling at Tolya’s arms, securing you to the spot, looking at your husband while praying internally he would not call out for Zoya. None of you dared to make a move. With eyes still closed, he whispered in lazy words, “my wife, is she gone?” 

Tears spilled from your face freely, you knelt next to him, “I am right here, Nik.”

He barely opened his eyes when he whispered “Zoya”

You moved to stand when he struggled against the cuffs again, “take this off” He instructed while still looking at you, “I need to hold my wife.”

The General uncuffed him efficiently, when she was done, Nikolai ordered to be left alone with you.

“Did you hear what I said?” You did not summon enough confidence to look him in the eyes while you asked.

“I did.” he mumbled, “Come here” He commanded you as well.

You sat next to him on the bed, he rearranged you to lay next to him, an arm on your waist and your back to his chest. “What was that, Nikolai?”

“That was you stopping the monster.”

Both of you were exhausted, so without saying another word you nuzzled in him, falling asleep shortly after.

***

It was all a haze.

Rays of sunshine fluttering in your eyelashes, golden curls against your skin and a strong arm keeping you in place. 

He held you like a kid holding a teddy bear, his head on your chest with your heartbeat as a lullaby.

“Nik” you mumbled, still half asleep.

He raised his head to you, lids heavy and a smirk already on his face. “Good morning sunshine.” He mumbled before tumbling next to you again, nuzzling his face in your hair.

“What am I doing here?” Your slumber fog faded last night memories.

“Saving me.” He whispered in your ear as he laid a lazy arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He laid sleepy kisses on whatever skin he found; shoulders, neck, ear, and when he ran out he turned you to face him and continued his work on your neck.

“Nik” 

“No” he mumbled, “let me stay in this moment” he found a place that made your breath hitch and worked there with his teeth.

“We should ta-ahh” a soft moan caught your voice.

“Much better” 

Next your nails were digging on his scalp and he was on top of you, pulling your nightgown to make room for his trace.

“You’re never leaving this bed, darling.” 

“How, are you gonna chain me?” You joked.

The dirtiest, mischievous grin appeared on his face, “I was planning to keep you myself, but I am always open to comply with your darkest desires.”

You pulled his shirt open, sliding it off his arms.

He returned to your lips with a desperate pace and you felt his desperation between your legs as well.

The door opened with a loud thud and a man’s voice announced in panic “Moi Tsar, the queen is gone!”

Nikolai’s shoulders limited your visibility, and you thanked the saints the announcer could not see your crimson cheeks either. Nikolai bit a smirk, turning to the man without leaving his place on top of you, “I found her, you can go now. And lock the door on your way out.”

Your face was hot with embarrassment when Nikolai turned back to you.

“Now, would you rather have both hands together or one on each post?” He asked you with a grin.

“I’d rather have them in your hair.”

“yeah that’ll do” he leant back down to kiss you.

You pushed him softly, “Nikolai, we should talk about last night.”

He laid next to you, “Don’t you remember?”

“I remember yelling at Zoya” you looked at him, biting your lower lip in regret.

“Oh that will be fun” he mused.

You smiled, your sight and fingers focused on playing with his hair, “And climbing on your lap while you screamed, but then you woke up and everything was alright.”

“I was-uh- struggling with the monster.” He swallowed, his eyes lost on something past you, “I felt it overcoming me and then I heard your voice, I begged you to leave but you didn’t and somehow that… helped.” 

“Well you are very welcome” you joked.

“Since you’ve found the cure I am afraid I will have to keep you by my side forever” He pressed a peck on your shoulder, “if you want?” 

“Do you want me to? And not because I am useful to keep the monster at bay.”

His lips continued to kiss wherever skin could find, “I want you to stay.”

“Then ask me to.” Your gaze returned to his warm eyes.

“I can’t ask you that” he moved his head sideways, “because asking requires a logical process of thinking and certain authority to inquire in your life choices, and with you I have none of that. I can only pray on my knees for you to spare a glance my way.” He kissed your shoulder again, but more intently this time, “for you I only have incoherent beggars and unworthy cries” his lips traced towards your chest, “I save for you my most human pledgaries and I am to you not a king nor a sovereign but a man. This place fooled me to believe myself regal, all mighty, then you came around and turned me into a man, a lame attempt of one, so as one I do not get to ask of you a thing, as such I only get to beg the love of my life to please spend the rest of her nights nuzzled next to me, and her days holding my hand.” He left a wet trail on your chest and neck to fall back into your lips. 

Your eyes weary with emotion, you pulled him deeper into you with hunger. 

“Is that a yes?” He mumbled against your lips.

“I don’t think I can say no to you, moi tsar.” You finally answered before kissing him again.

[lyn31]

Through His Eyes

Summary:

How you see him and/or how he see you?

AO3 link

Notes:

Pairing: Zayne x MC/Reader

College AU, fluff and short.

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Zayne doesn’t know when it started.

The noticing. The lingering. The way you make a home in his mind without even trying. Maybe it’s always been there, hidden beneath the years of familiarity, but lately, it’s been impossible to ignore.

It’s in the little things.

Like the time he was drowning in coursework, running on too little sleep and too much caffeine, and you—without even looking up from your own book—wordlessly slid a snack across the table to him. A quiet offering. You didn’t nag, didn’t tease, just kept reading like it was the most natural thing in the world. He stared at the snack longer than necessary before finally picking it up.

Or the day in class when he was particularly tense, thoughts pulling him in too many directions. You leaned over, playfully whispering, “If you need a distraction, I can fake a dramatic exit. Maybe trip on the way out, make it really convincing.” He huffed a laugh despite himself.

Then there was the time he forgot his scarf. It was freezing out, and before he could even comment on the cold, you were already wrapping yours around his neck. “And now who's the hopeless one?” you tease, shivering slightly. He should have told you to keep it, but the words never left his mouth.

Or the way you always notice when he’s holding in exhaustion. He never mentions it, but somehow, you just know. And without thinking, you reach up, kneading the tension out of his shoulders like it’s second nature. He should pull away—he tells himself that every time—but he never does.

He’s used to you being dramatic. He’s not used to you being soft when it matters.

Like when your hand brushed against his, absentmindedly playing with his fingers while talking about something completely unrelated. Like when you pulled him to a dessert shop after a long day, pretending it was for yourself, even though you both knew he was the one who loved sweets. Like the night you texted him at some ridiculous hour, probably not expecting him to answer—but he did. You talked until your words slurred with exhaustion, your voice growing softer until you finally fell asleep mid-sentence. He lay there for a while, listening to your steady breathing before he let himself sleep, too.

Or the time you walked past a vending machine, and without hesitation, grabbed his favorite chips—without him even asking. Just tossed them at him like it was nothing.

And then there was this moment.

You, ranting animatedly about how the Percy Jackson movies would’ve been fine as standalone films but were an insult as adaptations. Him, watching, something warm curling in his chest. He didn’t realize he was smiling until Caleb nudged him with an infuriatingly knowing look.

It’s the way you see him. The way you slip past his walls without even trying.

And it’s the way he lets you.

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Notes:

I was gonna make it like how I usually write but after a few draft this is what I ended up with! It's a cute little one 🥹 Tell me what u guys think, because I feel like I'm doing a bit experiments with this one ahaha

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[harbingersecho]

grif's surgery but just a little more... obvious?

I actually rly rly ADORE frankengrif but I don't have an in-show reason why he'd have extensive long-term allogeneic skingrafts on his face 😔

[nyxypoo]

dad taiju

[rystiel]

ngl i need jack back on doctor who and i need him to mention ianto. like when he gives his “i had a boyfriend who…” anecdotes but he actually mentions ianto’s name (he kept his promise and never forgot him)

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do

[cosmogyros]

.

[dreamersneverlose]

For the first time in a long time, I haven’t the faintest idea what life is going to look like 1, 2, 6 months from now. How terrifyingly beautiful this will be.

[grieveme]

no one understands how these 2 bad bitches are similar

[sketchtastrophee]

old art again!! this time a rough animation of sawyer and yarnaby 😎 (looks better if u click to view 😭)

im working on a short ppt animation rn. im thinking i should post it to my youtube channel, though im not sure if people here would see it. i think i can link videos on here?? idk

okay I'm gonna talk abt more chapter 4 stuff.. this time about prototype's previous identity.. ch4 spoilers and also a theory below..

hiding the solo yarnaby under here LOL

people theorized 1006 was elliot, which was recently disproven in the chapter 4 tape where poppy refers to elliot as her dad and wishes he were there. in the same tape she addresses prototype as a completely different person. also recall that elliot died in the 90s, meanwhile prototype met theo in 1989. so yeah, they aren't the same person

I've also seen people say rich is prototype, which cannot be true either. in a ch4 tape he speaks to one of the employees under his supervision. the kid mentions his coworkers joking about him going missing. before the bbi, it would not make sense for this to be a common rumor at the company, which means this tape had to happen after harley was hired in 1990; at a time when the company would have a reason to silence people

prototype existed in 1989 at the minimum, but considering he says "it's always been about you and me" to poppy, he's likely the prototype of HER. she's elliots daughter, she died in the 60s, meaning prototype was probably created around that time as well.

this means that rich can't be the prototype because he was human long after prototype was made

if you want my take on who prototype truly is, i'd say his identity doesn't necessarily matter. i don't mean to say his origins aren't important, just that his name and specific role in the past probably doesn't mean anything in the long run. i've never believed he was elliot or rich, and maybe in the future i'll be proven wrong but for now i'll tell you the theory i've had since june of last year

elliot's daughter dies in the 60s. he divorced his wife in 1930, so his daughter is probably in her 30s when she dies. she gets sick or injured, maybe she's actively dying or already dead by the time elliot begins his research. he looks for ways to bring her back, but it doesn't work on the rats (as he mentioned a note in the 2nd chapter)

so what does he do? he tries it on something bigger as he said he would: a human. of course he's not going to try this experimental method on his own daughter, even if she's already dead, so he finds someone else to use it on. we know that elliot wasn't evil or anything, so it's unlikely he killed anybody to use for the experiment. considering the orphanage isn't open yet (it opened in the 70s, not the 60s), prototype probably wasn't an orphan child either. if i run with my simple version of the theory, elliot may have dug up a body in a graveyard and used that. maybe a fresh one, who knows. he tried it, it worked, then he revived his daughter with the same method.

this is likely what harley wanted to know about in the chapter 3 tape (the "i learn something new about you every day" one), and also what prototype is asking harley to figure out in the ch4 tape they're both in. in that case, sawyer never actually figured out how to revive people with the poppy substance. sure, he can transfer people into the toys, but he can't bring anybody back to life

more reason to believe prototype and poppy are of the same "batch" is because it seems they are the only two who don't need food. it's outright stated about him in the ch1 trailer, and insinuated with her saying the "toys will starve otherwise" when she's talking about how nasty them eating humans is. she refers to them, not herself. her and prototype are probably the only 2 who were ever brought back from the dead, which circles back around to his monologue and gives meaning to the "it's always been about you and me, poppy. what we are". when i heard him say that i felt like my theory was lowk confirmed 😭😭

no guarantee this is right, but it's been my guess for a long time

[narugen]

not to be cheesy and gay but breaking up has been the best thing to happen to me. i get to remember who i was before the r/s (less anxious all the damn time and not codependent on one person) and i remember what its like to enjoy being By Myself and not having to overthink what someone is doing without me.

[seonghwaddict]

save a horse, ride your best friend — song mingi

in which your best friend can’t believe you’ve never ridden a dick before, so he takes it upon himself to teach you.

best friend!song mingi x fem!reader. requested by anon. genre. slight fluff. smut. best friends to friends with benefits. warnings. explicit sexual content mdni, inexperienced!reader, thigh riding, fingering, use of a dildo, big dick!mingi, multiple orgasms, unprotected, creampie, swearing, nicknames (baby, angel, pretty). wc. 4k. rating. mature.

lilo’s notes. this was requested a while ago but i’ve been putting it off because… i’ve never written anything about toys being used so uh, i was worried about the pacing and stuff. i wasn’t sure if you meant for them to be in an established relationship, so i went for the fwb route. IMPORTANT!!!! i lost access to my google account bc of a stupid mistake, if you sent in a request through my google form and would still like me to see it, please send it as an ask <33 i remember a few of them, but do send yours in just in case!!

listening to. need to know, doja cat // if u think i’m pretty, artemas // moonlight, kali uchis

masterlist.

it was a regular saturday evening. you were on a video call with your best friend, mingi, talking about anything that came to mind as you each ate a bowl of ramen as if you were really in the same room. he really only lived a couple buildings away, a two minute walk at most, but actually joining you in your apartment didn’t cross his mind until something interesting was brought up.

you weren’t sure what led to the conversation, but somehow it steered into the direction of something less innocent as you found yourself talking about an embarrassing date you’d gone on a while ago. recounting the story, laughing together, soon turned into a conversation about what each of you like in bed.

“oh, it’s just amazing,” mingi laughed as he gulped down a mouthful of water, momentarily pausing his rambling about how much he loves it when someone rides his dick. he ran a his hand through his short, washed-out pink hair, “honestly, my favourite thing ever since it probably feels just as good for whoever is, y’know, riding.”

based on everything he’s said so far, you came to the conclusion that he was more into giving than receiving, that he got off on seeing all the pleasure he can give his partner. so, it made sense he’d choose to mention the fact that riding him would feel good. not that you would know.

“can i admit something?”

he looked up from his bowl, sharp eyes looking almost hopeful as he nodded.

you looked around your kitchen jokingly, pretending to make sure no one sense was listened as you leaned closer a whispered, your hand cupping the side of your mouth.

“i’ve never done that before.”

his jaw dropped at that, letting out a small laugh. “you’re kidding.”

“no, really,” you insisted, going back to eating casually as if you were having the most normal conversation in the world with your best friend, “i really haven’t done… much, so i can’t confirm or deny your theory.”

“huh.” he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment. his head tilted and it was then that you felt how warm your cheeks felt, how your thighs were pressed together under the counter. of course, he was well aware of the fact that you had much less experience than him, only knowing about two people you had slept with. but damn. he clicked his tongue and shook his head ever so slightly. “that won’t do.”

furrowing your eyebrows, you opened your mouth to ask him what he had meant by that. he beat you to it before you could get a word out.

“i can… teach you, if you want?”

you blinked at your screen, resting your wrist on your countertop and gripping your chopsticks a little too hard. a silence followed his offer, though it wasn’t awkward. in fact, he could see you genuinely considering it as you thought it over. eventually, you gave him a tiny nod.

“i mean,” you shrugged, shifting your eyes away shyly, “sure, i guess. why not?”

he grinned, trying to hide it as he shoved a mouthful of noodles into his mouth and shoved his bowl aside. he chewed, swallowed then got up and made sure to bring his phone with him. you recognised his hallways then bedroom as he walked through his apartment. “i’ll be there in like 15, i need to buy something on the way. just wait there, and where something comfortable and… um, accessible.”

you nodded, despite your confusion, and he hung up. accessible? you looked down at your clothing—or rather, lack thereof. since you were home and not expecting anyone, you’d settled on wearing just a shirt you stole from mingi that was too large for him and much larger for you, and panties. you lifted the hem of the worn shirt, assessing how much of your dignity you’d lose if he saw your pink hello kitty undergarments that you only wore if you were doing laundry.

you could already hear him giggling at the sight.

groaning and cursing under your breath, you dropped the shirt and sped to your bedroom to dig through your closet in hopes of finding something a little more appealing. after making a mess of one of your closet’s drawers, you finally pulled out a pair of less offensive panties. they were made of soft cotton; a muted light blue with thin white lace trim, the cut shaped more like a bikini than what you call your grandma underwear.

deciding they were flattering enough, you slipped off your hello kitty pair—ignoring the embarrassing amount of wetness creating a wet patch right where it was pressed against your core—and replaced it with the new pair. as you untwisted the waistband and adjusted it to fit properly, your doorbell rang and you froze on the spot before pulling yourself together and heading to open the door.

the walk to the door felt abnormally long as you stumbled over on wobbly knees. admittedly, you were a little nervous. sure, there have been times where you wanted to do some more than friendly activities with mingi, but you never actually thought it was happen. yet here you were, opening the door for him so he could come in and show you what being a cowgirl feels like.

“hey,” he greeted you softly, stepping into your home and closing the door behind him. you noticed a small plastic bag in his hand, eying it curiously as you watched him kick off his shoes and hang up his coat. once that was of the way, he took one of your hands in your free one and pulled you to where he knew your bedroom was.

once there, he set the bag down on your bedside table and dragged you to stand between his knees as he took a seat on the edge of your bed. he looked you over, lingering on the familiar t-shirt.

“so you’re the one that took this shirt, huh?” he quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at you as he released your hand and brought both of his to your hips. his thumbs caressed the curve of your waist over the shirt. “it was my favourite.”

you laughed softly, “clearly you didn’t care enough if i was able to keep it for three years without you noticing.”

“you little thief.” his nose scrunched as he glared at you jokingly, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“if you really want it back, you can always take it.”

“nah, it’s fine, keep it. it looks cuter on you anyway.” he took a breath and gave you another once over, humming appreciatively when he moved his hands up higher, dragging the shirt with it until he caught a glimpse of your panties. you tensed, caught off guard by how close he felt. “i need you to relax a little, how about i help you loosen up, yeah?”

you nodded, averting your gaze but returning it to him when you felt him pull you onto his lap. he slotted one of his legs between yours, easing you down to straddle his thigh. his hands ran up and down your sides and few times before resting on your bare thighs, your breath stuttered and he held back a smile.

“are you still okay with this?” he asked quietly, absentmindedly playing with the hem of his your shirt. “if i do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and i’ll stop immediately and we can just watch a movie or something, okay?” when you only nodded, he continued, “i need you to say it, please.”

“i’m okay with this,” you muttered in return, resting you hands on his biceps, “and i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.”

“good, now…” without waiting any longer, he leaned forward to attach his lips to your neck, his hands slowly beginning to rock you back and forth on his lap.

you sucked in a sharp breath and clung into his arms a little tighter, your stomach fluttering at the feeling of your clothed cunt on his firm thigh, your panties dragging against your clit with ease thanks to how wet you already were. he lifted you slightly as he pulled you towards him, pushing you down as he pushed, the varying pressure making your lips part in a soft whimper. he nearly groaned at the sound, moving his lips right below your ear.

“you know,” he rasped between the licks and kisses, “i can’t deny that i’ve wanted to fuck you for a long, long time now.”

“r-really?”

mingi chuckled as he pulled back to look at your face, half surprised and half needy. he noticed that if he relaxed his hands, you’d continue grinding against his thigh.

“yeah, really. i mean, look at you,” he glanced down, one of his hands lifting the hem of your shirt to watch you ride his thigh slowly, a dark wet patch forming right where your leaking pussy sat. he bit his lip, “you look so perfect… and i bet you’d feel perfect, too.”

you nearly whined at that, fucking yourself on his thigh just a little faster as he sucked a dark mark right above your collarbone before returning to mutter dirty words into your ear.

“i know practically everything about you and your cute little body, you know. better than anyone else,” one of his hands inched it’s way up your thighs, brushing against the edge of your panties, “i’ll make you feel so good, angel, i promise.”

“mingi?” you whimpered, prompting him to lean back a little to look at you with a curious tilt of his head and a raised brow. “if you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, i might lose my mind so… please.”

his beautifully plump lips stretched into a smile as he wasted no time in practically pouncing forward and smashing his lips against yours. it started a little slow as you got acquainted with each other, despite the fact you could feel a nearing orgasm as a knot in your stomach drew tighter with each roll of your hips, but soon the kiss turned hungry.

he groaned into your mouth as you let his tongue explore, making you let out a quiet moan. mingi knew he wouldn’t be able to kiss anyone ever again. you, his best friend of all people, had the most inviting lips he’s ever felt. so inviting, so perfect and so soft. he thought everything about was soft. his hand slipped just under the edge of your panties as his other one made your grinds slow down.

you didn’t mind the slow pace, knowing just a few more rocks of your hips would have you tipping over the edge. but he evidently had other plans as he finally made your hips still completely. you pulled away from his lips with a pout. if you were trying to make him feel bad, it backfired terribly.

all he could think of as he looks at your swollen, red, wet, pouty lips is how much prettier they’d look wrapped around his cock. but he could save that for another time.

“there’s no need to rush, baby,” he chuckled, wiping some saliva away from your bottom lip.

eventually, when he was sure you had calmed down enough, he lifted you off his lap a little and turned to lay you down on your back, pressed against the comfortable mattress as he kneeled on the edge. he gripped your knees and bent them, pushing them closer to your chest with his eyes zeroed in on where your slick was leaking through your panties.

with one hand keeping your knees together and elevated, he ran his other over the fabric, pressing down on where he knew your clot would be and elicit a sweet little moan as you squirmed beneath him. he thought you were so cute like this, you looked so flustered as he gave you nothing but featherlight touches where you needed him most. for now.

“don’t get all shy on me now,” he cooed as he glanced up and noticed you covering your face with your hands, “let me see you, pretty.”

he didn’t continue his touches until you finally removed your hands, giving him a nice view of your abused lips and round eyes, pupils blown wide with lust in a way that had something stirring in his abdomen. and his pants.

he let down your knees for a moment so both of his hands could slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs. he actually moaned when he saw the strings of arousal clutching onto the fabric as he dragged it away, snapping when he got too far.

“you’re so pretty, baby,” he murmured, watching your entrance squeeze around nothing, making more slick drip out.

after tossing it aside, he wasted no time in getting your knees back to the previous position and running his fingers through your folds.

“oh, fuck,” he groaned, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you let out a moan when he tapped against your clit, “you’re soaked.”

he glanced up at you, wanting to see your face as he slowly pushed in too fingers and catching a glimpse of your hard nipples poking through your shirt. your face contorted for s fraction of s second before relaxing, your head tipping back against the mattress as you let out a whine.

he choked back a moan at the tight walls around his middle and ring fingers, the fingers of his other hand digging into your thighs. “sh-shit… you’re so tight. i’m gonna have to stretch you out first, okay?”

you nodded mindlessly, too distracted by his fingers prodding at your sweet spot to care about any words he may have said. but you furrowed your eyebrows and lifted your head when you felt both his hands leave you, finding him reaching for the bag. your curiosity outweighed your disappointment as he pulled something out.

it was a dildo. about as thick and long as the biggest person you had before, and made of what looked to be transparent silicon. your insides tightened at the sight, somehow the thought of him seemingly buying this just for you turning you on even more.

he returned to kneeling at the edge of your bed, leaning down to loop his arm around your waist and lift you up to place a pillow under your hips before letting lay back down.

“couldn’t find one my size, but this should be fine,” he held the dildo and ran the tip through your pussy, collecting wetness as you shuddered, “my cock will just have to stretch you the rest of the way.”

you breath hitched at the implication of his words. so he was bigger than that? your thighs pressed together at the thought of being completely stuffed by him. he chuckled, separating your knees enough for him to have a clear view of your pussy, pulsing and dripping and begging for his attention.

he began slipping the toy into you, filling you up inch by inch and watching your needy hole stretch around it and swallow it up. the sight had him choking back a moan, biting down on his bottom lip.

the stretch had your back arching and pushing yourself against it desperately, feeling like that alone could get you to finish. it only took a few deep strokes for your pussy to get used to the size, squeezing and writhing around it until you couldn’t handle it anymore. your arousal coated it quickly and seeped out with each stroke, squelching sounds filling the room that shot straight to his dick.

when you finally came, your toes curled and your body twitched as you let out a string of and whines and moans, little curses slipping between. he watched with fascination as you came undone right beneath him, not wanting to wait any longer to be inside you. he shoved the toy deep inside you, leaving it there as he leaned back for a moment to discard his clothes, slipping his hoodie and sweatpants off.

when you were brought back to your senses, you found yourself on his lap again, straddling his hips this time as he sat with his back against your headboard. you felt his erectile straining against his boxers and pressing against your core. you couldn’t help but rock your hips against his slowly.

“do you ever ride your pillow?” he asked suddenly, voice dropped what felt like two octaves lower than his regular tone. your eyes widened at the question but you nodded. he nodded too, his hands finding your ass and helping you grind against his clothes length. “this is a lot like that, except you have something in you… and it’s more of an up and down movement… and i’m obviously not a pillow… still, there’s really no right way to do it, just go slow and you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. plus, i’m here to guide you.”

he gave your ass a squeeze as if to punctuate his sentence, massaging the soft flesh in his palms. when you felt ready, you dropped your hands from his shoulders to his boxers, palming his length a few times before hooking your fingers into the fabric and dragging it down until his cock sprung out.

he definitely wasn’t lying when he said it would stretch you more than the already-big dildo. he was definitely a lot bigger than anyone else you’ve been with, well over average. you nearly dropped at the sight, wrapping your hand around him and jerking him off, eyes fixated on the angry red tip leaking precum as you passed your thumb over it.

the muscles of his abs rippled and squeezed as your worked your hands on his cock, his head thrown back against the headboard and letting out stuttering moans. all the sounds he made encourage you to sit up on your knees, guiding him through your folds and whimpering as you finally sank down on him carefully.

the two of you moaned at the same time, him at how well you squeezed around him and you at how well he stretched you. you stopped when you reached just halfway, unsure whether or not you’d be able to fit more. his hips jerked slightly as his hands squeezed your hips.

“come on, baby,” he moaned softly, looking up at you with encouraging eyes, “just a little more… we can make it fit, right? just breathe.”

you nodded and as you took a deep breath, he used his hold on your to sink you further down until he finally bottomed out. he cursed silently, the back of his head finding the headboard again as you whined and dropped yours onto his shoulder.

you felt his tip pushing against your cervix, the new feeling making a lump form in your throat as you blinked back tears. this time it took a while to get used to the stretch before you tried grinding back and forth. it was slow, almost painfully so. he was amazed that despite stretching you with two different things, you were still so unbelievably tight, hugging him in a death grip as your raised your hips an inch before dropping down again.

your soft noises were muffled by his shoulder as your hands rested on his biceps, panting and squeezing gently as every inch of him dragged against the sensitive spongy patch in your walls every time you grinded on him. soon enough you were able to lift yourself to his tip and drop all the way down, your wetness letting him slip in and out with ease.

still, you kept the pace torturously slow, savouring each bounce and grind. his hands had left your hips at some point, exploring your body under your shirt, massaging your breasts and tweaking your nipples. he lifted the fabric but kept it on your as he watched your tits bounce temptingly, your puffy pink nipples making his mouth water as he pushed himself forward to take one into his mouth.

your hips stuttered as he sucked and nibbled at your nipples, throwing your head back and arching into his touch as your grinds grew sloppy. he felt your decreasing pace, using the hand that wasn’t teasing your other breast to guide your hips once more. he angled you slightly differently in a way that made your clit press against his pelvis each time he bottomed out, the speed of your grinds picking up quickly as his hips bucked up to meet yours.

his lips detached from your bruised breasts with a popping sound as he leaned up to capture your lips in his once again. it wasn’t much of a kiss, more teeth and tongue and moans and groans than anything else as you swallowed each other’s sounds.

you finished first, pushing yourself down hard and stilling, filling yourself with his throbbing cock and pressing your clit against him. he held you tightly, burying his face in your neck to suck at all the spot he knew would get your to writhe. many tickling fights contributed to his knowledge on all your sensitive spots.

your body twitched as you returned to bouncing on his length, your juices looking at his base. the overstimulation burned a little, making your thighs and knees quiver, but you were determined to get him to finish too. and by the looks of it, it shouldn’t take much longer.

“shit, baby,” he said, halfway between a whimper and a moan, fingertips digging into your hips as he threw his head back in bliss, “‘m so close— fuck, you feel s-so good.”

his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, bottom lip caught between his teeth. his cheeks and the tip of his ears flushed a deep red, his plush lips a few shades darker and coated in your mixed saliva from your kisses. as you adjusted the angle of your hips, something in him snapped, grabbing your hips tighter and taking over. he took over your movements, thrusting his hips up desperately as you fell forward onto his chest with the sudden change in intensity. his tip pushed itself against your g-spot continually, another knot tightening in your stomach.

the wet sounds of your cunt and your skin slapping against his egged him on until finally he felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“baby, p-please— fuck— please, can i cum i-inside you?” he begged through a groan, “i— please, angel, i-i can’t wait any longer.”

you nodded against his chest with a whine, you were on the pill anyway. not a second later, he released into you, filling you up with stuttering hips. he pulled you down, flush against him and keeping you there as he emptied himself with softly muttered curses, his head dropping to press open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder.

it felt new to you, the warmth making you squirm until you came again without warning. it was much weaker this time but still enough to make you shake in his arms, panting softly after letting out a strangled moan against his skin.

after a few long moments of trying to recover from the shared orgasm, he lifted his head, one of his hands cupping your chin to tilt your head to look at him.

“so,” he started, lips stretched into a smile, “how’d that feel?”

“fucking amazing.” you rolled your eyes at how smug he looked after your confession, not protesting as he leaned forward to kiss you.

this one was much softer than the previous kisses you shared, much more tender. it was a lot shorter too, he pulled away first to rest his forehead against yours.

“yeah?” he whispered, kissing the corner of your lips, “just wait until i hit it from the back.”

networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet

permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf

[lilacgaby]

‧₊˚ what are we?

...nothing. right?.₊˚⊹

convienence. a means to end. that's all this was for both of you right? when katsuki is fed up with the crazed fangirls who just won't leave him alone, he works out a deal with you. it was just coincidence he had a huge crush on you.

☆pair. 2ndyear!katsuki x reader. tags. fake dating!trope, fluff, reader is academically flopping for a bit, pet names, cursing, fighting (verbal), happy ending wc. 6k

ღnote. sorry that this took so long lol! i wrote this in chapter form if you'd like to read it here, but this one shot is the same thing.

post-war brought troubles for a lot of the students in class 1-A. especially bakugo katsuki.

he had to completely relearn how to write with his other hand, had to learn how to fight without injury to it.

and he had to learn to deal with his crazy amount of fangirls.

his fight had been broadcasted, the manner in which he pushed himself to the very brink broadcasted to the world. his victory brought spoils, though not in a way he expected.

he didn't expect to be chased down the hallways every morning, to have a line of girls wanting his autograph as he ate. he didn't expect to be gifted things, things they just assumed he liked, but couldn't be farther from the truth.

luckily, you seemed to like chocolate. he found refuge these days sitting on the roof floor of U-A next to you during lunch, passing you the chocolate gifts he'd been given.

he hated chocolate. but to be honest, he loved seeing you smile.

"thanks 'suki." you said for the nth time, picking the best chocolates out of the box and leaving the gross ones alone.

"yeah." he sighed, glancing at you occasionally as he moved to support the weight of his head with his hands. he found himself speechless around you often. words failing as he leant into the comfort of your presence.

you were about to say something, he thinks. your mouth was open though the blaring of the bell cut you off. "oh, let's go 'suki." you said, holding your hand out to him.

he took it, letting you pull him up and holding onto your hand for just a second too long. you dumped the rest of the chocolates in a trash can and made your collective way down to 1-A. you laughed at how he seemed to try and hide behind you, eyes darting around for the general course girls who seemed to have nothing better to do than follow him around.

they didn't come though. he saw a group of them but when they saw your proximity to him..

they left him alone.

a lightbulb went off in his head, he mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. as he sat in class, eyeing your seat between momo and jirou, he thought about how he'd ask you.

test papers were being passed out, graded ones. "yo man," kirishima started, looking over his paper, "what'd you get?"

katsuki scoffed. "what do you think? another 100, easy as shit."

kaminari groaned beside him, "you're cheating or something! i got an 80."

"that's high for someone like you!"

"hey!"

"aw man, i got a 70. you're so manly bakubro!"

"yeah, guess i am."

katsuki tried to resist the turning of his head, he really did. but he wanted to know what score you got, if you did well. though from the expression on your face and the way momo patted you on the back,

not to mention the red ink used all over your paper. he knew you didn't.

"man this totally sucks!" you exclaimed, your hands clutching the paper of your test. "i studied and everything, i don't even need math, im a hero for crying out loud!"

jirou's teases and momo's comforts faded into the background as he only focused on you, and the nagging feeling for him to help you.

with another ring of the bell and a sigh from mr. aizawa, katsuki left early to try and beat the crowd of girls who seemed to pounce on him.

he didn't though, he found himself at the entrance at U-A, almost to freedom when the crowd pointed at him, "that's him! i can't believe it!"

"dynamite, an autograph please?"

"hey- don't be so casual. it's lord explosion--"

"who cares? i want a photo!"

at that, they chased him. all his progress down the stairs and through the halls was gone as he was led right back down to class 1-A. he stupidly lead himself right back into a corner.

his head darted around, until he noticed a tuft of familiar hair in the classroom. you hadn't left? oh well, he needed your help and quick.

you were sobbing internally, looking over your horrific test score with a sad expression. a 70? you might as well just drop out now.

as the hours of studying you'd done for waste passed over in your mind, a noise caught you off guard.

he had burst in, making your deflated form jump off the desk. "katsuki, don't scare me like that!"

he rushed over to your side, grabbing your hand off where it was hanging limply on the desk. "be my girlfriend for a second."

the words barely even processed in your brain before you were being manhandled off the desk, your mind rushed to catch up. "wait-- wha-"

before you knew it you were led towards the door of obsessed fan girls. his hand was intertwined tightly with yours, a slight flush on his face.

"listen up." he started, making his fans shush eachother. "my girlfriend hasn't been appreciating all your bullshit. and neither have i, so for the love of god stop it already."

he pulled you alongside him, "move." a path opened for the two of you, letting you two through. he walked you to the entrance, no words spoken between the two of you until you stopped infront of the lockers where you'd keep your shoes.

"[name]-- uh." he took a breath, his heart sped up rapidly around you. it sped up at the simple tilt of your head.

"so. if you help me with this shit, i'll tutor you.

or whatever."

a hand was behind his head, his averted eyes now focusing on you as he awaited your answer with baited breath.

you had an expression of thoughtfulness on your face. your finger on your chin as you looked up to the ceiling to think.

'have everyone think youre dating a cute boy and get a tutor?'

the pinkie of your hand shot out, a closed eye smile on your face. "i'm in!"

a soft smile graced his lips, his pinkie intertwining with yours and sealing his fate in more ways than one.

because you really did have him wrapped around your finger. literally and figuratively.

"let's go to my room so we can talk over it!"

you really were going to be the death of him.

it's not like he'd never been to your room, just not in a situation like this.

not when he'd declared himself your boyfriend an hour earlier, not when his hands were sweaty with his nervousness, and not when you'd agreed so hastily to be his.

he wondered if you'd accept if anyone else asked you. if izuku or todoroki had been facing this situation instead of him.

"'suki?" you patted the side of your bed next to you, "sit with me."

he sighed, the thoughts disappearing from his mind at your words. he really was whipped for you.

"yeah, yeah. i'm goin'" he sat beside you, oddly stiffer than normal. he held his own hands as he waited for you to say something.

"okay, so, we should have like-- a plan or something right?"

"a plan? what the fuck for?"

"like so we don't get caught faking this or whatever. if they find out your fans will just come back running, no?"

he shuddered at the thought. "yeah, don't wanna deal with that shit."

"right? so the first part of our plan, is that everyone has to think we're dating. cool?"

katsuki's mind was racing. cool? more like the best thing that would happen to him. he felt as if everyone knew of his crush on you.. except for you.

being to say he was all yours and that you were all his, even if it was a lie..

"yeah, it's cool."

"great, that's really the only thing we had to establish. we hang out a lot anyways so, we'll just have to be affectionate or something to seal the deal."

his heart jumped at the idea of hugging you, wrapping an arm around you, holding hands with you in public. the ghost of a smile came over him.

"right."

"cool. so nothing else matter--"

"we're starting your studying shit tomorrow. the next test is next week, so we don't have time to play around [name]."

"ughh. i wish you forgot about that." your head fell into your hands. "i hate math, what do i even need it for?"

"advanced math, nothing really. but estimates are important in hero work. estimating time, the abilities of your body, the amount of civilians, all that stuff."

"you're such a nerd."

"hah?"

he continued explaining the importance of math to you despite your grievances. his finger was pointed in the air, you swore you could see the need emoji popping over his face.

your eyes closed, the weight of the day, your grade, and the thought of studying alongside a nerd like katsuki tiring you to no avail. you yawned, laying your head on his shoulder.

you could hear the thumping of his heart, the racing of his blood in his veins. it rocked you to sleep, "wake me up later, m' a take a nap." you mumbled against his shoulder, before falling asleep.

his mouth shut, eyes peeled on your body that now clung to his side. his face grew hot, when did it get so hot in your damn room?

he tried his best to stay awake, to let you nap and wake you up in the morning. but as the clock hit eight o clock, the time he was supposed to head back to his dorm.. he found himself stuck in place.

not by an invisible force, not by some obligation. it was only the thought of wanting to be with you, next to you. wanting to let the comfort of your weight next to him drive himself to sleep.

so he did. he fell asleep, letting his head lay on top of yours, holding your body closer to his. shutting his eyes.

the light of the sun woke him up first, you didn't close your blinds yesterday, and the sun shined brightly,

directly into his face. he groaned, his voice deep from sleep as he peeled himself off of you. he was confused from fatigue, wondering why he was still in your room.

he felt an arm around his waist, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes to see it was you who was holding him close. he thinks you were using him in place of your huge teddy bear, the one laid neatly in the corner of your bed.

his heart rate quickened once again, wanting to go back to his room, but fighting the urge to stay looking at you.

an absentminded hand moved a couple strands of your hair out your face, pinching your cheek when he got bold.

you don't wake up, he sighed a breath of relief. 'til he felt your body start to stir, you pushed your head more into his chest, your eyes finally starting to open slightly.

"oh? g'morning kat'." you were sleepy, your words slightly slurred and muffled from how you were pressed against him.

"you slept here?" you asked, pulling away from him as you moved to stretch your upper body.

"uh-- yeah." he was once again lost for words at the sight of you, your shirt slightly pulled up from how you'd slept, your hair messy from the lack of a protective style before sleep.

"sorry for waking you up then, 'suki."

"no, i was already up. i just didn't wanna wake you."

"well, you failed." you joked. "anyways, you should get out of here soon, if iida sees you he'll probably flip out and tell mr. aizawa."

"right."

"let's walk to class together!" you clasped his hands in yours. "okay?"

you were going to be the death of him once again. "okay."

you let go and he got up, ruffling his hair slightly and looking back at you who sent him a small smirk and wave. before slowly walking out your door. he did his best to keep his movements quiet and minimal.

he was at the elevator, before uraraka walked out. shit. "bakugo? what are you doing here?"

"uh.. got lost."

her face scrunched in confusion, a knowing smile on her face after a second. "right.. tell [name] good morning for me."

".. tell her yourself." he got into the elevator, already seeing the grin in uraraka's face as he went up a floor to his room.

the same grin everyone greeted him with as he went to sit next to you in the common room, having made you some breakfast. he and you were all ready, you had refreshed your hair from when he was playing with it, simple makeup and your uniform ironed. he admired you while he ate his meal.

"ah, thanks 'suki."

"mhm."

you moved to whisper in his ear, "why's everyone looking at us?"

"fuck if i know."

"so you two lovebirds aren't gonna say anything?" denki said, putting his hands on his hips as he looked you two over.

"'bout what?"

"that you two are totally dating!" mina exclaimed, pointing at you. "and you didn't say anything? wow [name], i thought.. we were closer than that." she mock fully cried.

katsuki was about to say something, you cut him off though. "i thought everyone knew?" with a tilt of your head, a question mark almost visible from the blank expression you wore.

the class only sighed, kirishima shrugged his shoulders. "yeah, we should've guessed. i mean bakugo had a obvious crush on you for the longest."

"yeah, good looks man." sero gave him a thumbs up.

"tch. let's go [name]." he sat up, placing his and your finished dishes in the sink before you followed behind him.

"right! bye guys!"

you grabbed his hand as you walked out the door. nobody was around, there was no need to keep up appearances now.

but that didn't stop him from holding your hand tighter.

and that didn't stop you from clinging even more to his side.

it seemed you two were now together all the time. a clingy couple is what you seemed like to your friends, and more importantly his fans.

at lunch he could now be in the cafeteria again, you were stuck his side as you ate, an arm around you as you shared his food, insisting his cooking was better than the U-A food.

you were caged in by his body, you really did just look like a sappy couple to everyone.

during class, he was caught glancing at you. a lot. he'd roll his eyes and pretend nothing even happened, but everyone knew he was far gone.

during training, as you sparred you noticed he was going harder on you than before. some would think that because you were his crush he wouldn't get so aggressive,

too bad katsuki only wanted to push you harder, get you to show the strength he saw you unleash on those villains in the war. he wanted you to be stronger beside him, if he was number one, he'd want you to be ranked closely to him, because he knew you were strong enough.

that didn't mean it wasn't any more hard to fight him, the man was a maniac.

"you can chill out you know!"

"what? can't take it?!"

"no, slow your fucking roll!" you barely dodged his other attack, just barely moving out the way as he threw an explosion in your direction.

you now had met the conditions to use your quirk, comeback. by generating a max of 8 orbs, they'd absorb energy that you could use back for your offense. the only downside?

melee attacks couldn't be absorbed at all.

a kick to your legs sent you to the ground, you dispersed one of your orbs with the explosion stored inside of it.

"be nice and let me win!!"

"no."

he dodged your attack and pinned you to the ground. he won.

"you're so mean 'suki." you shoved him off you, making him grunt. "a good boyfriend would've let me win!"

a nagging voice in the back of his head was telling him he wasn't yours, you weren't his, and that he was only doing this for his convinience.

"well, i guess i'll be a better one next time."

even that voice couldn't deny that the way he cared for you wasn't anything less than real. that even if this relationship was fake, that he was undoubtedly yours. that the way he held his hand out to you, lifting you as gently as he could fathom.

"wanna go again?" he asked, a boyish smirk on his face.

"you know it!"

your plan of tiring katsuki out with exercise didn't work, so you found yourself in his room at his desk. showered and wiping the dew off your neck with a towel, you sat in front of him with a book splayed open.

he was hammering topic after topic into you.. statistics or something? you weren't really paying attention, you were more interested in the bulge of his muscles out of his tank top.

his words were a blur when you suddenly found yourself reaching a hand out to feel his muscle,

your hand squeezing it.

'firm. hm.' you thought, until he pulled you away, an incredulous look on his face. "this is why your class ranking keeps falling [name]. focus!"

"how can i focus with you in front of me? it's like dancing a donut in front of a cop!" you whined, face planted onto his desk.

"you're.. insane."

"you love me though, don't you?" the words slipped out of your lips without a second thought, your face flushing slightly. "oops, sorry! almost forgot you arent my like-- real boyfriend!"

he swore he heard a bit of disappointment in your voice, felt a bit of reluctance in your movements as you pulled away at him, saw a bit of longing in your eyes.

"uh.. yeah. 's fine. let's just.. take a break." he said, motioning over to lay on his bed and do nothing for a little while.

if you would've told him a couple months ago that he'd be sat, face to face, body next to body, hands awkwardly close to each other as you remained in silence. you'd had a movie on in the background, something stupid he thought. not like he payed attention to it at all.

it was comfortable, being around you. he'd be a liar if he said that he didn't like the fact that everyone now thought you were his and vice versa. not just his fans, not just yours, but your mutual friends. family.

"do you wanna try again?" he asked after a while, voice soft and his hand moving to rub his eyes. it was his bedtime, eight o clock sharp, but he'd break it for you.

"hm? to be honest no." you moved to face him. "you look tired anyways 'suki, you should sleep."

he grumbled, his eyes closing slightly as he slowly swatted your hand away from his face, his grip lingering on your wrist.

"right." he yawned. he didn't know if it was the sleep or impulse, maybe a mixture of both. but he pulled you closer to him. making you crash against his chest with his head in the nook of your neck.

"stay." he uttered, his breath flush against your neck making the hairs stand up.

"katsuki?" you thought you were dreaming. you'd move to pinch yourself if you weren't being pinned down by him.

"please?"

"..okay." your words barely matched your actions. you cuddled more into him, pulling him impossibly closer as you melted into eachother.

a blanket was thrown over the two of you. you fell asleep in his arms, the beating of his heart matching yours as you breathed a sigh of realization.

you were horribly in love with katsuki bakugo. and he was with you.

your 'fake' activities as a couple were coming along a little bit too easily to the two of you.

feeding him a snack in his room as a joke, him finding out he kind of liked being babied, him blackmailing you so you shut up.

all couple things. normal couple activity.

you didn't even have to continue those things behind closed doors, but it just came so naturally. it seemed wrong not to do it.

it seemed wrong for him not to sling a hand over you, not to hold your hand when it was so close to him, not to move the stray strands of hair and tuck it behind your ear.

it seemed wrong for him not to save a spot for you at lunch, not to wake up a bit earlier and slip out of your sleepy grasp to prepare you a meal alongside his.

not to make some breakfast for you, light or heavy, depending on what he'd learned you preferred.

not to walk with you to class, even walking with you to go see your general studies friend in the morning, leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face as he watched you rave on about a show you'd watched recently.

why wouldn't he do it if he could? why shouldn't he watch your favorite shows just to have things to talk to you about?

he found himself fighting to stay focused during your study sessions now too. he found himself noticing things about you, the smaller things.

how you'd flip your hello kitty pencil around while you were speaking. how you'd bite your lips in concentration, your expressions of disbelief when you actually started getting things correct.

he'd have to cover his hand with his face. you were just too cute.

sometimes he'd even get distracted mid sentence. he was explaining simple things over again, just to make sure you knew what it meant.

but it was hard even keeping eye contact with you.

"so, in this problem x would be.. uh.." he went silent, his mouth open but no words escaping.

"x would be what? 7?" you showed your page of work to him, with a nervous smile. "if it's not right tell me already! i know im kinda dumb, it won't hurt my feelings too bad i swear!"

he looked down back at his page. mentally slamming his head onto the table, before recovering. "yeah, no you're right. you got it."

you slammed the work onto his desk, "finally! then we can break now right?"

"yeah, 'guess so."

"let's do something fun. take a walk, my legs hurt from sitting." you pulled him up by his hand, dragging him to his door. "hurry up!"

he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped him, you really reminded him of just how young you two were. how he was just a high schooler with a huge crush, how--

"why are you looking at me like that? are you sick?" you placed a hand on his forehead, making him promptly rip it off. a scowl quickly replaced the smile that been on his face moments prior. "no i'm not. let's go."

you walked hand in hand, the sunset the background for your 'date'.

the last few days, he'd been nervous to bring up what was happening between you. he was nervous to ruin the odd relationship you two had, he didn't want to lose you. he thought the things you two had been doing crossed the line between friendship and lovers.

you didn't have to do any of this. though he was sure you knew that already.

"math exam's tomorrow."

"don't remind me! you totally ruined the moment you know."

"you'll pass. i mean, i was your tutor after all. if you fail with me as a teacher? you are a lost cause."

"that's not nice to say." you ripped his hand away from yours, crossing your arms on your chest. "thats really messed up 'suki."

he leant down to face you, the sun goldening you two in its wake as he grew a cocky smirk on his lips. "oh really?"

"yes really."

"n' what're you gonna do about it?" his face was barely an inch away from yours. with a glance to his lips, he moved closer.

he barely pecked you, before he heard a loud, obnoxious idiot speak from behind him.

"[name] and bakugo are totally making out over here!"

denki and kirishima were looking at the two of you, a glare crossed over katsuki's face as he basically dragged you with him back into his dorm. he was about to leave you at your dorm, the hallway empty since curfew was around the corner.

he held your hands in his, running his thumb over the knuckle of yours. he intertwined your fingers, only letting go after a while.

he tilted your head upwards with his two fingers, wordlessly asking for permission. moonlight now struck you two as he moved in.

uninterruptedly, he kissed you. deepening it with a pull of the hand, holding you against him.

he let go after a while, his internal clock signaling it was almost time for curfew.

before he left, he whispered to you. "i don't.. really care what we're labeled. and if this shit is real or not.

i just want to be close to you."

he turned, walking to the elevator. leaving your breathless, with your heart in your throat.

no more words were spoken between you two, not as you screamed into your pillow, and not as he stared up into the ceiling of his room.

you passed that math test. and each assignment that went with it.

the end of the year was now coming quickly, of the school year that is. you and katsuki still kept up your 'act', the activities now stretching to dates after school mixed in with your study sessions.

one's that'd leave the touch of katsuki on you more than the touch of knowledge. but it was working nonetheless.

it was all good between you two, an eternal honeymoon it seemed. after all, by now it had been at least seven months since this began. your class ranking was higher, he no longer had to worry about strolling through the halls, it seemed nothing could get in your way.

well, besides two things.

one: the fact that you two were scared to label in between yourselves yet, too bashful to call him your boyfriend and you his girlfriend in private, yet proud fully admitting it to others.

two, the girl currently straddling him with no regard to you whatsoever. your entire cafeteria table was staring at her, looking at what katsuki would do to move her off.

but when he didn't immediately, didn't immediately curse the girl out and push her off him? you did the job for him.

you yanked the girl by her hair, sending her to the floor with a tray of food falling onto her body. all attention was on you as you stared at katsuki, your mouth agape in anger.

"what the fuck bakugo?" you ignored her, even stepping on her leg slightly as your hands were agitated, your whole body was. you didn't even know why you were jealous. this wasn't real, it never was, he was just playing his role too well.

you should've known katsuki would go too far. he always did.

"babe-- it's not what you think-"

"then what was i looking at? and don't call me that. don't- don't fucking call me anything. we're over."

you knew to him that probably meant something different. you acclaimed the despair in his eyes to the loss of protection, to the loss of ease as he walked in the halls and the lack of paparazzi that'd ask him questions on his love life.

but to him it was so much more.

it was those things, yes. but it was more so the thought of losing you. the thought of the affection over the months being nothing but a memory and not his future. the thought of not having you close to him.

the thoughts of becoming nothing to you, less than a friend.

he didn't know why he didn't move, it was like he physically couldn't. the look in the girl's eyes, the grip she had on him, the weird smile. he recognized her as one of the girls who usually would be in the crowd following him around.

"you don't mean that." his voice sounded more desperate than it had in the whole time he'd met you, more longing slipping through than he intentioned.

but the sun's casting light had moved away from you, casting you in a shadow. "i do mean it. fuck you."

he was going to run after you, to chase you as you slammed your lunch tray into the trash. heading up to the rooftop to he alone.

but a hand, mina's, pulled him back. "i think.. you did enough bakugo."

she went after you instead, promising to bakugo she'd check on you.

fangirls were one thing? but a messy public breakup where you were never really something in the first place? surprisingly worse.

he'd been more snappy lately, his aura making the girls around him keep their distance.

he'd become quieter, closed off. you didn't come to eat lunch with him anymore, obviously. and he didn't go up to the rooftop to join you.

he didn't know how to speak to you, how to explain what happened, how to say that he was sorry.

he ran the scenario in his head a million times, thinking over the girl's quirk that had forced him into place. but it sounded so convenient, like he was lying.

but since your entire relationship was based off of one, he didn't know how to approach the topic in the first place.

a week. a week passed before he could muster up the words to speak to you.

a week of being ignored in the hallways, side glances and being walked off on. a week of not having you by his side, not having you to talk to, to study with,

to kiss.

you were alone on the rooftop, eating silently as you felt a presence behind you. you saw his hair in the shadow and sighed, placing your plate onto the floor next to you. "what?"

"let me talk."

"...fine."

he breathed a sigh, hands balling as he forced the words out. "i know what you saw. and i know it was bad, but listen. that.. girl. she had some quirk on me or something."

he paused, seeing as your movement shifted. he took the fact that you didn't leave as a sign to continue.

"i couldn't move, i would've. you know that. but, it was right for you to be fucking pissed. i'd be too.

and i know, this is my fault in a way. i've been.. a fuckin' loser about this." his hand went up to support his head, his eyes averting from where he felt yours eyeing him.

"i needed to ask you out, officially i mean, a long time ago. it was wrong of me to use you-"

"it wasn't like that and you know it." you moved now to face him, you taking his hands in yours once more.

"what are we? to you i mean."

"right now..

we're nothing, right?"

your eyes widened, his eyes came back to look at yours.

"what?"

the words settled between you, it sent a cold shiver down your spine at the implication.

"wait-- fuck i'm messing this shit up. i mean, we're, not anything right now. we weren't anything."

your heart sank, eyes falling to the floor though your hand still held by him. your bleeding heart was in his grasp too, it was apparent.

"but,

i'd like to be? if you'd have me."

he squeezed your hand tightly. "i, i think i did this all out of order. but, would you go out with me?"

you let out an anxious laugh mixed with emotion. relief? despair? you honestly didn't know. tears burned the corners of your eyes.

"you're-- you're real weird, you know that?"

"is that a no."

"no, it's a yes. i think."

"ya think?"

"you don't get to question me!"

"yeah, whatever." you shared a laugh of relief together. he held you, moving away to bring something out of his pocket.

a small bento box for you.

you gasped at the sight of it, it was so cute. "thank god! i hate this school shit." you sat down, patting the side beside you, prompting him to sit down.

"wow, a heart? don't tell me you like me or something katsuki."

instead of deflecting, of telling you to buzz off, of shoving you lightly, a small smile came over his lips once again. after a beat, he laughed boyishly.

"you caught me."

...

he patted your back as you choked on the heart shaped seaweed.

your first date was cute, a small picnic with the country of musatafu as your backdrop. it was weird, this scene had played out between you two various times. in his room, in public, in private, to everyone else you two had just recovered from a messy breakup. and yet,

your stomachs were filled with butterflies at the affection between you two.

your rank was high, the dates were endless between the two of you now. study dates, just going to cafes, mundane things became more when you were by each others side.

years passed, and your poor dorm was going mostly unused. you'd sleep in his bed most of the time, actually- you'd spent most of your time in his room. he even cleared out a section for you in his closet despite the fact that yours was perfectly fine.

graduation came along, your careers came rushing at the two of you.

you were the top rated woman hero, and he was number one. just like he dreamt, just like he imagined the future would be for the two of you all those years ago.

you were picking out some drinks from the vending machine, a pocky hanging out your mouth as you decided between two flavors.

you finally chose, having two drinks in your hand for you and katsuki when he suddenly dragged you into an alleyway, grunting when he pushed you against the wall.

deja vu? maybe, you felt like you lived through this before, the same mindless stampede of girls rushing past.

"i told you to clip down your hair."

"shut up. don't they even care that we're married now? why do they fucking bother?." he sighed, annoyed as he lightly grabbed the can out your hand, his frustration not matching his actions.

"well, maybe we need something that'd make it even more official." a lightbulb went over the both of your heads. you faced each other, a streetlight letting you see the slight pink tint of his cheeks.

"a ca-"

"a baby."

you laughed, keeling over at the sight of his face that grew impossibly red.

you went home, hand in hand, the photos of the two of you together making rounds in the media again.

but as you laid with his head laid on your lap, your head rested comfortably against the furniture you'd chosen for your home?

you couldn't help but feel like everything worked out perfectly.

and with the new addition of your family laid sleeping on top of katsuki's chest.

tags (can't tag orange :c): @k0z3me @darhinadadragon @maddietries @amayaaaxx @i-the-fluffo @irenne-stans @hisonlyobsession @dead-fish-soup @pretty-sparkle-bomb @matchat3a @yura-4life @djlance-rock @zuzukusna @hiimsaraandyou @uy242c

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