#i do basically forgive them of all their sins
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autumn0689 · 2 days ago
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Something that gets me about Midnight Mass is about John Pruitt’s relationship with religion and himself. Now I’m not going to suggest that he isn’t religious, he absolutely is, but it’s so interesting how, in my opinion, he’s not as devout as he tries to present himself as.
His confession to Mildred that he would have stepped down if she had asked him, how he doesn’t perceive his brief relationship with Mildred as a sin, and that his daughter is not a sin is so interesting. It circles back to him not feeling guilt for killing Joe (which i can analyze because he seemed like he was in shock and basically shut down until Bev came in) how he claims that he was spared of it, how he tried to justify it, and yet he isn’t in denial that most would consider what John did to be a sin, and he knows that, but he states that no, they are not a sin, and its so interesting seeing how… human he is.
Obviously we saw how much he cared for others, but he was first and foremost a priest, helping others and granting them ‘miracles’ but all his walls come down when Mildred was with him, and we already knew he was flawed, but learning the subconscious reason (because I do believe he brought the Angel because he wanted to help others, but it all comes back to the subconscious, in my opinion) why he brought it is… devastating.
He has a fear of death, but, now you may feel free to disagree with me but this is how i interpreted it, it’s not much to do with himself, but with others. Now I do think he is scared of dying, but with how he described himself in episode 3, how Paul Hill talked about John Pruitt seemed so distant, and how it wasnt until the end that he began using first person rather than third person. It’s interesting how his identity is because he does think highly of himself, but also thinks somewhat negatively. He sometimes comes off as superior, and yet his sense of identity is… fractured, and it makes sense, he was deaged, so he lies, lies about his identity, about who he is, and in episode 6 he confesses that he is John Pruitt, but I don’t think its until Mildred is with him that it fully hits him, and that’s when he realizes his subconscious reason on why he did what he did.
His fear of death drives him as well. He doesn’t want Mildred or Sarah to die, and it’s devastating because of what he did results in Sarah dying before him and Mildred dying alongside him. It then reveals that they are so important to him, he lets the church burn, he removes the collar, and he asks Mildred for forgiveness. I don’t interpret it as him losing faith, but him symbolically letting go and being with Mildred.
Just… having John, a character who is a priest, openly admit that he would have left being a priest for Mildred does something to me. If you disagree then please let me know what you disagree with! My interpretation of his character may differ from others, and if I got anything wrong do let me know!
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glimblshanks · 9 months ago
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It's so difficult, because I genuinely do want to understand what the whole deal with Christianity is, but Christians are so apposed to any line of questioning about their belief system (in a way that no other religion is) that if you say anything they don't like they shut down and accuse you of being a sinner.
And it's like bro, I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm trying to understand why this religion is even appealing to you. How do you manage to get so many converts when you're not even willing to answer basic questions about your theology?
Everyone I've found who's actually willing to discuss Christian theology with me is an ex-Christian which is super unhelpful, because ex-Christians are people who have deconstructed Christian belief and come to the conclusion that it doesn't work for them. They're always very cynical about the whole situation. That's not what I'm looking for.
I want to talk to someone who's still into it. I want to understand what actually draws people to this religion ( I do not want to be trauma dumped at - I don't know what aspect of Christian belief confuses y'all into thinking that trauma dumping is an appropriate substitute for theological discussion, but it absolutely isn't).
Like you would really think for one of the most popular religions in the world finding answers to this stuff would be easier. Why can't you guys just talk about your beliefs?
#Christianity#religion#like I just don't understand#if the basic conceit of the religion is that God sent his only son down to Earth so that he could relate to and better understand humans#then I have a lot of questions#because a) if he's a all knowing god why does he need help understanding humans anyway?#b) if you're taking the Bible literally. Why would he then require Jesus to be celibate and die at 30?#like aren't sex and aging and relationships all parts of the human experience that god would want to know about?#and c) if you're taking the Bible metaphorically. The meaning of this story seems to be#that the divine will never truly relate to or understand you. That you are infact so different from the divine#that if an aspect of god came down from the heavens to interact with the people#your sins and the sins of your community as a whole would kill that divinity before it could live out a full human life#which is a genuinely interesting concept! like I would read a novel with that plot#but I don't understand why that's appealing from a faith perspective#is the appeal the act of forgiveness afterwards?#like the divine are so fundamentally different from us that we would kill them but they would forgive us for that difference anyway#why is difference something that must be forgiven rather than accepted?#like do you see why I'm confused by this stuff?#anyways#posting to this blog because a surprising number of Christians follow me here#maybe one of y'all can help me understand
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acid-ixx · 7 months ago
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villain au concept: brutus (again &. again series)
tw: flashing lights for the video
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this but with a neglected! reader who had tried to take a shot at fighting and discovering their potential. they're especially good with guns, the very weapon batman has sworn neven to use.
you were born to be a heartless killing machine— if not for your mother shielding you away from the sins she had bared, you would've been more than just a bounty or a target costing millions.
you would've been the topmost hired hitman at the age of ten, but you had only found out about your skill at that age.
simply being adopted into the family had delayed your development; turning you into a human, who yearned for love and attention yet never having it reciprocated. you had brainwashed yourself into thinking that if you could reach the same level as them then maybe, just maybe, you could stand by your family's side.
your father, batman, should've noticed the signs sooner.
that in the manor, it houses a cold blooded beast, too far gone into the world of lusting.
lusting for blood, lusting for condemnation, lusting to satiate their hunger.
the way your eyes lit up whenever you successfully hit a target from miles away, or the way your tantrums and fights with damian leads you to ripping apart practice dummies with murderous intent— they were detectives for god's sake! how could they have merely ignored the heavy thumps that cloak the night?
alfred had tried to address the sudden shift in your behavior. he had tried to point out your calculated stares during family meals, the bandages that began to litter your body, your bedroom doors now bolted; how every night the smell of blood seems thicker and more concentrated in the manor.
you didn't just grow up. hell no, you were an entirely different being.
instead of you being led to the light, you were further drawn to the darkness; the picture perfect scenario of what bruce should've been had he ever not picked himself up and fixed his ways.
but you weren't bruce, fucking wayne. no, you were (last name)'s child, and you would never forgive him for even trying to wipe out your own identity.
the neglect that had built up and the anger that was left of you— you turned it into determination; motivation for you to stealthily sneak through the batcave and steal his devices, transform it into weapons made for just for you.
yet you do not use bullets for justice nor reason just like jason, no. but you had died just like him, lost your hope for the very man who you once thought of your father.
it is all a means for you to quench your thirst.
you couldn't wait to see their faces.
maybe then they'll bond with you through fists and bruises, through gunshots and bullets.
and the best part of it all?
you don't need to ask for anymore for their attention.
not when you have all the other criminals willing to give the world in the palm of your hands.
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a/n: do you know of fanon! jason who was said to be an aggressive kid? in this au, it's basically you; drowning in contempt lmao. anywaysz, this is just a concept that i randomly thought about, it's basically a "what-if" you had found out the truth sooner about your mother other than the rumors? (lore still redacted lmao) bec if you did, then the end result is this au hehe. again, in the main series there's a lot of false narratives on your part, i love utilizing the faulty narrator trope.
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mjbarrosart · 1 month ago
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My Dragon Prince Boards season 7, episode 705, part 2: The Moonberry Surprise.
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It's true, the Moonberry Surprise moment, it is my fault
I hope you can forgive me for my sins. Hahahaha.
Ok, let's talk about this little sequence. But first, some... context?
Ok, so, Dragon Prince was my first job as Storyboard Artist, before coming to DPR I was working as a Storyboard Revisionist in Lego NinjaGo Crystalized. So I applied to Dragon Prince with not hopes that they will hire me, and when the offered my the job I was in awe.
So basically, I arrived to work in season 4 as a Junior Storyboard Artist. They gave me little sequences during season 4 (I was mostly helping my unit director with revisions) they gave me more during season 5 and 6, working on my strengths, emotional moments, long talking sequences and some combat. You know what was not there? comedy, because it was not one of the things I knew well how to do. But after a year and a half working in the show, I was seasoned enough to be a proper Storyboard Artist, not a rookie anymore. So they finally assigned me a comedy sequence.
I was terrified. Today after years in the industry, I can say that I am not scared of comedy anymore. But when I read the script and I realized that they were expecting a big comedy moment from me , I knew I was in trouble. But as they say, "you fake it until you make it" I took a deep breath and smile to my unit director like "Of course I can do this!"
But ok, lets talk about the sequence. We start nice, with the moon fam enjoying some time together. Was an opportunity to work with Runaan and Ethari, and that is always cool! I love how Ethari is just happy of everyone being there, and Runaan just wants to kill Callum (in an affectionate way, like he is just a protective dad, you know, a no nonsense dude)
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So yeah, they talk a little and Rayla handles Callum a slice of Moonberry Surprise. Is like this almost mythical dessert that is said tastes like nothing else in all Xadia. And Callum is so excited to try it!
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So, the script did not call for anything you saw in that sequence. The script instructed to reveal the Moonberry Surprise like something out of this world, and then have Callum almost having an epiphany when he tries it. My first idea was to have Calum almost levitating on his seat while eating it, while the rest of the moon fam looked at them in confusion. But during the launch of the episode (this is the stage where directors and in the case of DPR writers, tell SB artist what they want for every sequence we will board, we pitch ideas, and so on) was more clear to me that they were expecting something more of an "out of this world experience". Like the "I love books" moment that Callum had on season 5, episode 2, but on steroids.
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So I was ok, lets make it as trippy as possible. So we have this fast zoom in into Callums face, that lead us into this "dimension of flavor" he is being transported to.
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And he opens his eyes and he is floating in this space of color and flavor, his spirit being lifted by this experience.
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He is experiencing all this flavors, eating this huge blue berries (this was my Unit director idea, Thanks Katherine!!), when something catches his eye. A figure, looking to him from the above, almost like a god.
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And Callums looks up, revealing... this:
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So, I have a really particular sense of humor (not unique, because I feel a lot of people share it, particular because really specific things make me laugh a lot). I was born late 80's grew up on the 90's with all the weird cartoons and anime of that time. For me adding muscular arms to things is the best joke ever.
This is peak humor to me:
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So I was like, what if, Callum does the Titanic spinning thing, with a muscular slice of pie? So I did that... And I was SURE they will reject it.
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So I finished my roughs, and I sent them to my Unit Director. She was "this is so stupid" (in the best way) so, she added some placeholder music, and send it for review from the directors, while both of us were expecting to have it rejected.
A couple of days after, our Storyboards Supervisor was like "WHO DID THE MOONBERRY SURPRISE SEQUENCE??" And I was like "me?", and he was like "Aaron LOVED IT!" and I was like "?????" so, yeah, was approved.
So yeah, that is my legacy, I guess. I am Runaan in this shot:
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So well, those are all my sequences in episode 705.
Sorry again for being responsible for the birth of that thing. But that is my son now, and I kinda love him, even if he looks like that....
Next post will be my last! So yeah, stay tunned for my last post about my boards in The Dragon Prince, episode 708!
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bamfkeeper · 6 months ago
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NSFW Headcannons: Nightcrawler // Sex
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a/n: I'm almost out of ideas for headcannons, I wanted to pump out a few more just because they're easy for me to write and get used to writing specific characters. I promised more of our favorite blue teleporter so, here he is. These are fairly basic, for more descriptive or specific things they won't be in this format, more as actual fics instead of quick headcannons. Written as a gender-neutral reader. I hope you enjoy <3 Not edited please ignore grammar mistakes.
Minors DNI. 18+ under the cut.
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Whether it's your first time in general or not, the first time sleeping with Kurt is something he takes very seriously. He wants to make sure you enjoy yourself, and he wants to make sure he doesn't hurt you.
He likes to make sure the set up is all done before you even come into the room. He goes all out for your first time, no hasty habits. He will keep in mind any preferences, but he will probably do something along the lines of candles or any scents you like in the room, soft mood lighting, and making sure everything is perfect.
"I did my best, liebling. Perhaps I have gone overboard..." he would mutter, a little embarrassed, but it was from the good of his heart.
Kurt likes to take his time with you, he begins with massaging you, wanting you to completely relaxed with him. His hands are soft yet firm and know just the right amount of pressure to do when he rubs you. "Relax, I will make sure you enjoy yourself tonight...just melt into me, ja?"
When he turns you on your back, he will lean down, softly kissing you. His lips are gentle and slow, feeling yours without the need to rush. Sensual kisses fill your senses as he continues to press into yours, his tongue shyly caressing your bottom lip before he pushes it inside.
His tongue explores your mouth, your tongue fights his with little force, you let him take the lead. He smiles against your lips as you try to playfully press against his tongue, finding it cute.
When he pulls back, those kisses increase and begin to travel down your body. He leaves hot kisses along your jaw and neck, suckling and biting lightly where he can, but being mindful of his sharp teeth.
The foreplay lasts a long time, he makes sure you have at least one orgasm before moving on to the main event of the night.
His cock is beading, gently rubbing himself up and down your entrance. "Are you ready for me?" he questions, placing a kiss to your temple, his cock head positioning and slowly pressing into you.
He inches slowly, hissing at the tightness, his cheek pressed against yours while his arms hold onto you. His tail cradles you as he sheaths himself to the hilt, he twitches and throbs inside you.
"Ah - mein Gott! You are squeezing so tight..." he rasps softly into you, his hips staying still for a few seconds so you can adjust to him before he pulls back and experimentally gives you one thrust. When he hears you moan, he takes that as encouragement and continues his thrusting at a steady speed.
His hands caress your hips and hold them as his own snap into yours. He lets out soft moans and pants, his thrusts are slow enough for you to feel every inch of him moving in and out of you. The feeling of him stretching you as he moves at such a perfect speed is intoxicating.
He leans over you, his legs press into the back of your thighs as his hips are driven a bit more, his cock pushing inside at a slightly rougher pace. He will go rougher and a little harder after a few minutes, or if you as him to.
"So needy, you have a gluttonous hole, you swallow me..." he looks down and watches himself disappear with each thrust. "You know, mein kleiner schatz, gluttony is a sin~"
He grins as he finds himself driving more and more into you, "Fret not, for I am a priest and I am more than capable of forgiving you of your sins..." he purrs, his fuzzy body gently grinding into yours as his thrusts increase.
He may flip you to a new position, he may not, depending on how intense the sex is becoming. For the most part, he does like to watch your face contort in pleasure, watching you blush and whine for him. He also likes getting the opportunity to kiss you whenever he can.
He makes sure you cum first. He will rub you or jerk you however he can. His hands gently massage your body and find those sweet spots that make you jerk beneath him. He goes until those pretty whines come from your lips and then he keeps it up until you are shaking through a powerful orgasm.
When he finally orgasms, he buries himself inside you and releases there, his jaw slack and his curly hair messy atop his head, his indigo cheeks blushed purple. Those pretty yellow eyes barely open as he stiffens with his orgasm, his back straining as he becomes rigid.
Two panting bodies, he looks down at you and smiles. His nose brushes yours as he shows you affection and love. "Ich liebe dich." he whispers, slowly pulling out and wrapping his arms around you, carrying you to the bathroom.
After some heavy clean up, he gives you a moment alone to do anything you might want privacy for, and he will make sure to ready the bedroom and clean up anything.
"This way, liebe...you were so wonderful...let me take care of you now." he whispers, guiding you to a clean bed and laying you down. He loves to hold you after everything is done, his hands rub up and down your body, any sore muscles taken care of by his gentle massages.
He can be quite fussy after sex, asking if you need a drink or something to eat, if you're comfortable, if you need anything at all. But you like how he is, it makes you feel all the more loved.
Eventually, the evening ends with you two sleeping with one another, you are tucked into his body as he holds you, his arms keeping you cradled against him, his nose buried in your hair or crook of your neck, and of course that tail is always wrapped around you somehow.
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Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
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dividers by @/adornedwithlight
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inbabylontheywept · 6 months ago
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So I found one of your (nonfiction) stories and read the one about the refrigerators, and it made the librarian part of me very curious (and a bit horrified) and I have so many questions!! (Feel free to entirely ignore this, and I really don’t intend to ask anything classified) Are there still refrigerators being used for document storage? Did the refrigerators keep reasonably consistent temperature/humidity? (Because those are both things you want in anything resembling archival storage) How long were documents stored in refrigerators? Do you have any actual document storage/retention guidelines?!
Thank you so much for sharing all your stories, they are hilarious!!!
Naw, it's surprisingly difficult to even ask questions about classified material. We're encouraged but not technically required to be vague about the tests and their purposes, but the fridges are fair game.
Anyway, from the top:
Are there fridges still being used for document storage? At the time that I wrote the fridge piece, we were down to four (4) file storage fridges. At present, we are down to a single (1) file storage fridge, and parts to repair it are on backlog. Then we're going to have to build another filing cabinet. Not looking forward to that.
Did the refigerators keep things reasonant consistent for temperature/humidity? Yes. The temperature in the building does not fluctuate very much (they have relic computer systems that are absolutely, terrifyingly irreplacable) and keeping them happy is a major concern. The fact that it preserves paper is just a convenient side benefit. Humidity is likewise kept low in the basement (like, single digit percent low), for the benefit of some machines that dislike it strongly. We do occasionally raise the humidity in certain location while handling ESD sensitive materials, but those tend to be far from the fridges.
How long were the documents stored in refigerators? We have some facility documents that date back to 1972. We do occasionally have to reference those documents to answer such thrilling questions as "Why does overloading the machine hydraulics downstairs sometimes cause the microwave clock to reset upstairs?" (The answer is that, for reasons no one can explain, they ran 125 feet of wire off the test cell's breaker specifically upstairs, to the one outlet that powers the microwave.) (Seriously.) (And then they recorded this, as if their confession could expunge this kind of sin.) (Engineering does not follow Catholic God's rules- we do not have to forgive someone just because they fessed up.)
Do we have any actual document storage/retention guidelines? Sorta. The guidelines for disposal of documents refers to both positions and specific people that have been gone for years. In theory, someone could take it upon themselves to champion a new disposal process, but that would be boring bureaucratic work whose reward would be doing more boring bureaucratic work, and the machines that we work on here are the coolest shit in the world. Everybody loves working on the machines. Nobody likes sorting through papers. So we just kind of keep punting that one down the road. We'll probably do that until we get someone in who actually prefers doing paperwork to badass science (basically impossible), we get someone from outside the group who arrives to assure document compliance (theoretically possible, ridiculously arare) or until we run out of space (actually impossible, we add space more quickly than we can fill it with papers). We do have guidelines on storage safety. I do not know a lot about what they are. I'd be surprised if the fridges weren't kosher though. The official cabinets have some parts flimsy enough to put through with a can opener. Those fridges could be dropped from an airplane and not get a dent. They're beautiful devices.
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starstruckgoateepuppy · 5 months ago
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looking like anne hathaway
sana x f!reader
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sypnosis: you have christian parents and dont support your choices but oh how could you not love someone like minatozaki sana
warnings: death, abuse, suicide, homophobia, not proofread
genre: angst
wc: 1.4k
a/n: i read too many poetry on tiktok with sailor song 🙁 this one was actually inspired from a poetry “bloom.” by wavespoetryinc on tiktok pls read it ❤️
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dating a girl as a christian girl yourself has to be the most painful experience ever. having to be super careful is not a choice.
you knew it was the biggest sin and secret you have ever done to God and your parents. you felt so guilty but it just felt so right dating her.
sana, your beautiful girlfriend has always cared for you, not caring that you were christian. you saw her in the rightest way, a way that no one else could see her.
she was so special to you, you couldn’t even imagine your life without her.
however, every good thing must come to an end.
-
you sneaked out in the night going to meet your girlfriend, sana, to take a walk. you have done things like this many times, you were basically a master at it.
your parents are extremely strict and would never let you leave the house without them knowing. you wished it was easy to go out, you wish life was easy. you just wanted to live your life freely, not be like a caged dog.
sana was the opposite of you, carefree and loved by everyone. no one would have guessed that she was into girls. every man that tried hitting on her failed. oh how they wished they were you. but sometimes you wished you weren’t yourself.
at first, you wouldn’t admit at all that you liked her. “just a small feeling, just friends it should be fine. the feeling will go away.” you thought to yourself.
it didn’t, it didn’t go away.
now you are doing the most unimaginable sin that you could ever do, dating a girl. you can’t imagine the looks on your parents faces if they ever find out you were dating, not just that but a girl.
somedays you begged for forgiveness, you wanted to have a less heavy heart. the guilt was creeping up to you, but you just couldn’t let go of sana.
-
you were carefully walking with sana around the neighbourhood. hoping no one from your church was nearby and recognised you. for sure they would tell your parents.
you two acted like the closest friends ever. sana understood your situation and felt horrible for you, that just made you fell more in love. you wanted to kiss her, wanted to give her all of your love.
you looked her in the eyes, she looked in yours. you admired every feature of her, no wonder you loved her at first sight.
you bought something for you and her from a convenience store nearby and sat down at a park to eat together. you couldn’t explain how much you adored her. she was so careful with you, you were like clay in her hands. both of you loved each other very much and would always do in every universe.
“click” the sound of sanas camera as she took a picture of the both of you eating a club sandwich with a bottle of sweet tea.
“y/n! this picture is soooo cute! im gonna post it on my instagram” you put her hand on her lap, ruining her enthusiasm which you wished you never had to do.”sana, my love…” “ oh. right..”
you wanted to ask her that it’s alright and she could post it with her favourite songs. “i know baby, im so sorry. one day..”
you hated the fact you had to hide your relationship with her, you hated to hide the fact that you are in love with her. having to hide your love and feelings for each other.
“don’t apologise lovely, i understand” you saw her faint smile in the shallow light. so many things you wanted to do with her, without being scared.
most of the times you felt guilty for sinning, times like this, you felt like she should leave you, like you don’t deserve her. you wanted her to leave, you wanted her to have a better and happier relationship. not to struggle hiding your relationship with her from the world because of you and your parents.
her parents weren’t supportive of their daughter being a lesbian too. they didn’t like it that much but yet sana took the risk and dated you, you don't deserve her.
-
you went out with her once again, this time your parents knew. they were furious, raging with anger, you knew how much they would hurt you but that didn't matter. the most hurtful thing they could ever do is take sana away from you. no matter how many bruises they would give you just wanted to be with sana.
at night once again, you were in the park with sana eating. the tracking app they put on you brought them standing right in front of you as you cuddled sana. the fear in your eyes as you started thinking about everything they would do to you. sana was terrified for you too. she knew how your parents were and was scared of losing you.
you wanted to kneel down in front of your dad blazing with anger but you couldn’t. your mother grabbed your wrist tightly, letting you fall down and forced you to get up. you couldn’t look behind you as you walked away with your parents from sana, but you could hear the screams and sobbing from her. you wanted to tell her that it's okay and she doesn’t need to worry about you. but you just couldn’t bare to see her face anymore.
-
weeks passed, you were never seen by sana for weeks. no text, no message. she cried for days and days, she felt helpless. she wanted to go to your house and take you out of the abusive household, she knew if she did it would just get worse.
nothing seemed right anymore to sana, she stared laying on the grass for days staring at the moon for what seemed like hours.
the moon didn't seem as bright, but she knew you were staring at the same one. she felt guilty for leaving you alone. what could she do? she started imagining the things she used to do with you, she missed you. she remembered when she kissed you for the first time, catching you off guard and looking around frantically for church members.
on your side, slaps and punches were made. bruises formed on your bare skin. cuts and scars appearing, reminding how your parents wanted to kill you. all of that trauma and abuse but you still loved her.
-
“buzz buzz”
a notification on sanas phone.
“hey, can i come over?”
it wasn’t like your usual happy messages, but sana didn't think too much about it, just happy you were okay, or so she thought you were.
“yes! please come baby”
you wanted to tell her not to call you that anymore, but you loved it, you missed how she called you with that adorable voice.
you were in front of her door, waiting for her to open it. when she opened the door, her eyes started welling up and she cried hard, you didn’t look like yourself, you looked like someone that she would never want to see. how you were covered in bruises and cuts, she cried.
“baby…”
“im sorry i never let you get the ability to post us and letting us hold hands and do all those things in public-“ “y/n, don’t please baby the last thing you should do is apologi-“ “no, please let me say what i wanted to tell you for forever. i love you, and you will be the only person that i will love this much. you are the only person that has made me feel like i have shown my true self. all the love, kindness, joy you have given me. i love you so much and if i could say it on the top of a mountain i would.”
she sobbed, she looked into your eyes, wondering why you were saying all this. you could see her confusion, you wiped her cheek with your thumb. “ baby i love you, and in all of the universes ever existing, i loved you and only you. but this just won't work out in this universe. i love you, im sorry” you couldn’t bare seeing her cry, you turned your back on her and left. she screamed, she wanted to run to you but her legs felt weak and numb. she didn’t know what you were gonna do.
after a week, she was at the burial of your body. she wanted to stop everything and get in with you but she sniffed and shed tears. everyone there was crying, she was crying the hardest. she loved you, but you couldn’t love her.
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channelinglament · 2 years ago
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When you hadn't logged in for a few days
Ft. Diasomnia (💀)
Summary: Basically you hadn't logged in twst for a while now (could be 2 days or more) for whatever reason. But sadly you didn't know, that your game is sentient.
Tw: yandere, bad grammar, death, murder, religious themes.
🐀 (it's me, the anon-) @writingforatwistedworld
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Lilia
Plz forgive this world that is full of sinners-
Fr prays and slays (people)
Alright, let's begin on how it happened:
Lilia was as always waiting for your return. He made himself look presentable, and stayed nearby ramshackle to greet you when you log in (aka when you get weekly stuff like gems and etc)
You didn't come back that day, sadly.
So what does our dear fae do?
Pray. A lot.
He is afraid that he or someone has somehow wronged you.
We're you busy?
Were they not praying hard enough?
Did he need to kill someone-?
And like that, he tried to sleep.
The same was on second day.
But when the third day (afternoon actually) comes, oh he is going insane.
This world is so full of sin! It is filled with sinners to the brim isn't it? That's why you aren't coming back, he's sure of it!
So, the massacre started. You can't tell me otherwise. He prays that you come back, while he slays those, he deems sinners.
If it's for you, he's ready to starts/wage a war again.
Malleus
Congrats, it's the end of the world!
Trust me, if you logged in right at that moment, you would have the longest log in in your history.
Unlike Lilia, he immediately panicked. While you weren't around, the weather was terrible.
A few people probably died because of the thunder
He prays, and prays hard.
On the second day he tries to use his magic to see what you're doing (your camera)
If you're playing another game then he immediately destroys(burns) the world.
If you're busy, tries to wait.
If talking to someone, the first option happens aswell
On third day it's the end of the world. Literally.
Unless you decide to log in, at that exact moment, say bye-bye to everyone alive except a few faes and maybe people.
Silver
Understands that you may be busy.
But still prays nonetheless. (He was raised by Lilia, a cute lunatic after all)
Honestly is afraid that someone might've hurt you. What if you're in danger and he doesn't know about it??
He's supposed to be your knight in shining armor, protect you with his life. What if you're in danger rn and he cannot do anything about it???! (Not like could've helped even if you were, he's in game. But he could've told Malleus or Lilia, then you'd be in game sooner than expected)
Similarily to Lilia, starts massacring people calling them sinners.
But I feel like it's at the end of 2nd day? Stealthily btw
He was sleeping, then heard noises. People were talking about you and how they thought you abandoned them.
He was angry and uhh
Made ketchup for Lilia to cook.
Even if you did abandon them, it's not your fault! But he's sure you didn't, they probably just needed to get rid of sinners that have wronged you and made you upset!
Sebek
Screams
Shocked
Prays
And then
Starts giving you offerings.
Since the day 1
He definitely needs to try harder! Everyone needs!
The reason you're not here is because they're not praying hard enough! They're not offering you what you would like! Of course you won't come back if they won't!
Literally kills everyone left and right.
And offers them to you.
Negative two out of ten, would not recommend.
Fr, he doesn't think that it could be 'cuz you're busy. Probably you're offended that they haven't devoted themselves to you completely.
He wishes that everyone would be like them, on valley of thorns. But sadly, some see you as an equal or just an all knowing entity. Or even worse, but he doesn't talk about Shaftlands. At least some nations are good.
But he still thinks they're wrong in thinking you can have flaws too.
It's their fault for you leaving them!
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mulletmitsuya · 3 months ago
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Toman Groupchat (Final Timeline)
Warnings: suggestive, dark humour, mentions of abuse (kazutora's dad) in a serious and non serious way
Desc: so uh, it's not exactly like this (the request), but this is the basic format of events. the founders know kind of but Smiley and Angry don't. 🍎anon, forgive me if you hate it 😓🙏
Side Note: all the dark topics i'm making fun of (homophobia, abuse etc) are things i've personally gone through! i'm not just an asshole who jokes about bad things✋️😪!
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Angry: i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with our friend
Draken: be more specific
Baji: that's literally all of us
Baji: ESPECIALLY Mikey
Mikey: ?
Mikey: you can't prove that
Baji: there's a deep sadness in your eyes
Baji: *madness
Mitsuya: tbh, both work
Mitsuya: sorry
Mikey: what do you mean
Mikey: i'm perfectly fine
Mikey: everyone in my life is alive and no one is dead
Mikey: i haven't committed any unforgivable sins
Mikey: see? i'm fine
Mitsuya: what are you ever talking about dude
Baji: see? he's crazy
Baji: i'd say something's wrong with Takemitchy but he's just ugly. does that count
Takemitchy: my wife would think otherwise😒
Baji: idgaf
Mikey: i also think otherwise just btw
Draken: bro let it go
Mikey: let what go😁
Mikey: it should've been me walking down the isle fr but like, i don't mind
Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i can't tell if this is a joke 😂
Chifuyu: Mikey you're making him uncomfortable😒
Mikey: Chifuyu, did you know that in another universe, i shot you in the head?
Chifuyu: yeah i bet, fucking psycho
Takemitchy: Mikey-kun😐
Anrgy: i mean Kazutora
Angry: there's something wrong with Kazutora
Draken: can't argue with that
Mitsuya: yep
Mikey: oh yeah definitely, but we all knew this?
Chifuyu: he should be admitted to a psych ward, in my personal opinion
Smiley: he has a few screws loose, but that's what makes him funny
Smiley: he threatened to kill me the other day and i genuinely didn't know if he was joking or not. i love that guy😁
Takemitchy: i'm sure he was joking. we all joke like that🤣
Chifuyu: he probably wasn't and we all know it
Draken: why did he threaten to kill you
Draken: did you do that thing where you intentionaly trigger people to get a reaction out of them
Draken: cause then i can vouch for Kazutora and say that Smiley would deserve it
Smiley: i only do that with you, Draken. it's really easy
Smiley: you're hot when you're mad
Smiley: i love seeing that vein pop out of that big ass head of yours
Smiley: makes me wonder what else is veiny
Angry: ew😠👎
Mikey: do you mean his penis?
Mikey: cause yeah it has like one vein
Baji: how do you even know that
Mikey: Emma has pictures
Draken: i'm gonna hurt you, Smiley
Smiley: see?
Smiley: easy
Angry: can you please stay on topic😐
Smiley: fine
Smiley: he tried to kill me cause i beat him at UNO
Smiley: insisted i cheated🙄
Mikey: did you?
Smiley: yeah
Angry: you find new ways to disappoint me big bro😡
Smiley: it's just a game lil bro 😁
Draken: one day, i'll do something i can't take back
Smiley: what, you'll fuck me?
Draken: enough
Angry: before you hurt Smiley, can we please talk about Tora
Angry: since you guys are super close
Angry: i really am worried
Chifuyu: he's fine
Angry: how do you know
Chifuyu: i'm with him like 24/7?
Chifuyu: okay maybe he's not fine fine, but Baji-san and i are dealing with it
Baji: he's going to therapy, so it's not like he's not getting help
Takemitchy: but what's wrong with him?
Takemitchy: oh, nevermind, i remember
Baji: how would *you* know🧐?
Takemitchy: uh
Takemitchy: i don't
Takemitchy: i just didn't want to look stupid!! yeah, that's it haha😅
Mikey: dude, you're gonna blow our cover
Mikey: when you could be blowing me instead 🤣🤣😭💔😂🍆💦
Mikey: anyway
Takemitchy: i don't know what to say anymore 😄
Angry: GUYS
Angry: PLEASE
Draken: see, idk if we should be disclosing why Kazutora's the way he is
Draken: isn't it like, super personal?
Baji: his dad used to beat him, real bad
Baji: his mom too. they'd fight all the time and they'd make him pick sides and shit
Angry: his mom also used to beat him🙁?
Baji: no, his dad would beat Tora and his mom
Baji: i set his dad's car on fire once 🔥
Draken: ...😐
Baji: what? it's not like he keeps it private. if you ask him, he'll tell you
Draken: yeah, we should have asked *him*
Baji: you don't get him like i do fr
Chifuyu: wait 😌🤚
Chifuyu: they don't love you like i love you 🫵
Baji: ?
Baji: i love you too?
Chifuyu: it's... it's a trend
Chifuyu: yk, on tiktok
Chifuyu: nevermind
Mikey: you look so fucking stupid🫵😭
Draken: why do i ever bother
Draken: i'm gonna leave this group for good
Mikey: you've been saying that for the past 10 years 🥱
Angry: oh😕
Angry: is there any way we can help him?
Smiley: man i feel like we should have known this
Smiley: that's why he gets so mad at "yo mama" jokes
Smiley: i feel bad now 😬
Baji: just don't talk about dad's or mom's or families at all
Baji: he's not gonna do anything, but i'm sure it hurts him inside
Mikey: we should find his dad and kill him
Mikey: amiryt guys
Draken: why are you so casual about murder
Draken: but i agree, this once
Mitsuya: you literally always agree
Kazutora: who are we killing
Kazutora:
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Draken: why does it look like that
Kazutora: hang on, let me catch up
Draken: don't do that. we weren't talking about anything
Baji: we were talking about your abusive parents
Draken: 😐
Kazutora: ...
Kazutora: i thought i was hiding it well
Smiley: hiding what?
Kazutora: mental illness
Smiley: oh
Smiley: you weren't
Mikey: dude
Angry: there's something wrong with all of us! so it's okay
Smiley: yeah but it's more obvious with Kazutora
Draken: are you good tho?
Kazutora: yeah i'm fine. my dad came to the pet shop the other day and i guess i've been freaked out
Kazutora: but i killed him👍
Angry: 😧
Takemitchy: SHIT
Mikey: oh god, please tell me you're joking
Baji: dude😐
Kazutora: i'm joking lol
Kazutora: i just hit him several times in the head with a crowbar
Draken: ...
Draken: so you, killed him?
Kazutora: he's in the hospital. he's fine
Kazutora: well, he's in a coma, but he's alive
Smiley: dude, you're gonna go to jail?????
Kazutora: nahhh
Baji: fym "nahhh" ???
Kazutora: no evidence
Kazutora: i followed him home and he didn't see me
Takemitchy: what about camera's??
Kazutora: i have an alibi
Draken: holy shit you're gonna go to jail man
Draken: ok we need to have a meeting or something. plan of action
Mitsuya: Kazutora why would you do that man
Mikey: Kazutora
Mikey: do you know the amount of work you just undid😟
Mikey: why do you like bashing people's skulls so much holy shit 😓
Angry: what do we do
Kazutora: guys it'll be fine
Kazutora: my dad has so many ops. he's the worst guy ever. people hate him
Kazutora: and i stole some stuff so they'll just rule it as a mugging
Draken: ...or as an attempted murder😐
Kazutora: you guys are bumming me out😒
Draken: us????
Takemitchy: ok you know what
Takemitchy: let's all meet at my place
Takemitchy: we'll eat and drink and uh, discuss the situation at hand
Takemitchy: in a normal, non bumming out way
Mikey: we're cooked
Baji: i'll take the fall, if necessary
Mikey: holy shit i'm going to kill myself
Draken: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU
Mikey: YES IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Takemitchy: we're cooked
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edenfenixblogs · 1 year ago
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Thank Your Jewish Friends Trying to Educate You Right Now
If you’re a leftist, and you have had a Jewish friend reach out to you to try and tell you that you’ve said something alarming or harmful or antisemitic: listen to them, learn, and say thank you.
I am VERY lucky in that all the friends I’ve personally reached out to have taken the opportunity to learn and grow and adjust their behavior. I have never told them that they should not advocate for Palestine. I have told them I want to advocate for Palestine WITH them, but I need to feel safe in order to do so. I need to feel like the people I’m advocating with don’t want me and my loved ones dead. Thank HaShem that they have listened to me. From the bottom of my heart, my friends are a blessing.
But I’ve seen an incredibly disheartening number of fellow Jews who have had the opposite experiences—being expelled from their queer communities and activist communities and book clubs and any space they once found community. This is horrid but it’s especially horrid for Jews. It’s a reminder that we are only accepted if we conform. We are only accepted if we accept abuse. Our presence is always tolerated, never wanted. Our views are not to be trusted. Our opinions are always suspect. Our motives are always sinister. Our acceptance is always conditional. And I think that hurts even more for us than you’d imagine, because our own spaces are no longer safe. We are already in diaspora. And now our synagogues and homes and other community buildings are being vandalized and attack. We are cut off from our own cultural community and now many of us are being cut off from our personal communities as well. It is a loneliness that most people outside of a diaspora will never know.
Im willing to bet that if you have/had a Jewish friend who you considered close but who seems to have disappeared from your life, it’s because you either didn’t reach out to them after 10/7 or you have failed to acknowledge the stochastic threat to Jews or the Jewish connection to Israel. Why is it important that you do this? Because we are your friends and loved ones. And when friends and loved ones tell you they are hurting, you should listen. When you say you care about someone, you should be willing to listen to them when they say you’re hurting them and then you should apologize. It is more hurtful than you can possibly imagine to watch people you thought cared about you decide to listen to people across the world who they have never met rather than simply have a conversation with a friend, because they assume that friend will dismiss the pain of Palestinians.
Many of you are assuming what your friends are feeling about Israel and Palestine, but you haven’t actually asked them. Many of you think that expressing sorrow for Israel or jews in the world, that means we cannot care about or want a better future for Palestine.
If you are lucky enough to have a friend who has tried to reach out to you, that means they are willing to forgive you for neglecting them in this time. They are willing to talk with you and try to explain their emotions in good faith. They want to find a way to advocate for progress with you. They want to keep you in their lives. They want you to understand our culture and history—not at the exclusion of anyone else’s culture and history—just at the inclusion of our own.
Because here’s the other thing: they won’t forget that you denied them understanding and respect and the benefit of the doubt. That’s not a threat. That’s a cultural feature of Judaism. We have famously long cultural memories. We remember the people and places we can trust and those who refused to give us peace and safety and basic kindness. We remember the people who targeted us, your friends and loved ones, simply because other Jews who we have never met behaved in ways you don’t understand and of which you don’t approve. You are blaming the sins of others on people you claim to love.
If someone is giving you the chance to undo the damage you have done on this, you should take it. And if you have expelled Jews from a space you once shared or failed to acknowledge their pain in this time—find them and apologize.
I am not Muslim, but I wouldn’t doubt that something similar is happening in Muslim spaces. Islamophobia and antisemitism are at terrifyingly high levels right now. And if you think you can’t support Jews without condemning Muslims or you can’t support Muslims without condemning Jews, you’re not only part of the problem—you’re the biggest part of the problem.
What we all need right now is unity, peace, solidarity, understanding, and education above all else.
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wetwork09 · 2 months ago
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— "Be not afraid, sinner. Your devotion to God shows goodness in you; plentiful indeed. The heart is willing but the body must rest, lest you squander one of the Lord’s creations."
ㅤ ㅤ "Radiant is Gabriel, for he is the ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤlight in my darkness." —
I think that FerryGabe is one of the most beautiful and poetic relationships in the whole ULTRAKILL, no matter if you see it as platonic, romantical, sexual or religious.
I believe that Ferrymen are former soldiers, having to exist in Wrath and drown in regretful sorrow of their past. But which soldiers? Those, who were defending their Motherland, their people, themselves. Not the ones who were attacking. I'm sure they were scared, and that developed in both apathy and inhuman anger. And to have at least some kind of hope while fighting against machines, they turned to religion.
So of course, their soul is purer than one of just an aggressive and spiteful person in the past. They deserve to be much closer to Heaven, through their holy clothing and, even if not planned at first, personal contact with one of the Archangels.
"Suddenly, there was a light as brilliant as the Lord himself, ushering me from the darkness with mighty arms that held me with such compassion and warmth as I have never known..."
"His gentle words eased the pain and mended my wounds. My face wet with tears of relief, my words muffled by the weight of my duty. I could only lay in reverence, carried in the embrace of majesty."
Just read in these words of one of the Ferrymen. They describe their saviour, Gabriel, the only Archangel that at least somehow cared about the damned ones, as some sort of miracle. Someone more than saviour and just a holy figure. He basically twisted their view of their life in Hell to all 180 degrees. He gave them motivation to keep helping other sinners, to keep defending those threatened, like they used to do back in the days as a soldier.
And the mere fact that they are in Wrath, layer of Hell just before Heresy, sinners of which even God himself will never accept or forgive (as I believe), and yet they deserved such mercy and tender care from someone like Gabriel, it probably blew their mind. I'm not even deeply discussing the fact that they literally tore off their skin to be closer to the divine, while they're on edge of being unforgivable and even Sisyphean Insurrectionists have more chances to one day ascent to the Skies' Kingdom than them.
No wonder they would make sculptures, holograms, paintings of him. He is one of the reasons why they continue standing every day. A reason to continue living and not drown themselves. His words are not a simple compliment, they're like a well remembered prayer, a sweet and desired melody in mind of this Ferryman that always plays to keep them happy and hopeful.
Considering how sinful Gabriel is in his nature, as minimum from the pride he took in defeating Minos and Sisyphus, there is a possibility that they could be together more personally than a believer with an angel. I honestly think that they can even participate in lustful actions, at least after Gabriel would wipe out the Heavenly Council.
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This is my perspective and anatomy practice. And a text composition practice too, English is not my first language, but I'm really interested in writing. I'll appreciate all kinds of support.
(please dont look at the date i barely had ±30 minutes every 2-3 days to draw because of school (a full art of mine takes approximately 20 hours or more to finish because i suck))
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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 3 months ago
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I love being a wild card in this fandom.  
What I love about Sauron/Mairon x Galadriel is that their dynamic isn’t some basic Light vs. Dark nonsense. Because this is Tolkien, not some Hollywood digested cr*p, as the professor says himself:
Some reviewers have called the whole thing simple-minded, just a plain fight between Good and Evil, with all the good just good, and the bad just bad. Pardonable, perhaps (though at least Boromir has been overlooked) in people in a hurry, and with only a fragment to read, and, of course, without the earlier written but unpublished Elvish histories. But the Elves are not wholly good or in the right. Not so much because they had flirted with Sauron; as because with or without his assistance they were 'embalmers'. They wanted to have their cake and eat it: to live in the mortal historical Middle-earth because they had become fond of it (and perhaps because they there had the advantages of a superior caste), and so tried to stop its change and history, stop its growth, keep it as a pleasaunce, even largely a desert, where they could be 'artists' – and they were overburdened with sadness and nostalgic regret. Tolkien, Letter 154
This is what I've been telling you guys. The Elves are not hopeless victims of Sauron, nor are they the "heroes" of the story. Tolkien lore is complex, it's not "pure Good vs. pure Evil" like the "lorebros" or the Peter Jackson fanboys claim. Stop believing their nonsense, they don't know what they are talking about. The battle of “good vs. evil”, in Tolkien legendarium, ultimately, happens within each character.
When they first met, Mairon and Galadriel both turned their backs on literal heaven (Valinor) because of their pride: Galadriel wanted the glory of seeking and destroying Sauron for herself; Mairon couldn’t bring himself to face judgement from the Valar. Mairon was the repentant sinner, while Galadriel was on her way to become one.
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Galadriel is a literal ticking bomb, ready to explode and turn Dark at any moment, in "Rings of Power". Mairon was drawn to the darkness within her, and not to her “light” (this is another way he self-deceives himself). Her “light” (= Two Trees of Valinor) is merely aesthetic. She doesn’t have that light, and that’s why she’ll use Nenya, and her Mirror and her Phial to harvest purest Light, and become the “Lady of Light”.
In “Rings of Power” there is a clue that Mairon might be blood bound to Morgoth, and, so, he’s always unconsciously seeking his former master, and that’s why he wanted to serve Galadriel. Because he's a Maia, he was created to be a servant to a Vala. The deal, wasn't her becoming his servant, but the other way around.
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And we are talking about Sauron, here: his whole character arc is not one of redemption, so he the interest he believes he has on "Light" is not real, it's one of his self-deceptions. And for Sauron to never stop grouping Galadriel’s mind, thousands of years into the future, when he’s already officially the “shadow of Morgoth” it’s because he recognizes her potential for darkness, not her light.  
This doesn’t mean that he’s unredeemable, mind you. Tolkien’s work is infused with Christian doctrine (mainly Catholicism), and in this religion one can always find redemption and forgiveness if one actually repents for their sins, and makes amends for them (which will be Galadriel's case). And this is also present in Tolkien lore: no character is unredeemable on his world. But in the legendarium, after refusing to stand trial before the Valar, Sauron never truly repents, and becomes the "a reincarnation of Evil" aka Morgoth come again.
And there is Sauron. In the Silmarillion and Tales of the First Age Sauron was a being of Valinor perverted to the service of the Enemy and becoming his chief captain and servant. He repents in fear when the First Enemy is utterly defeated, but in the end does not do as was commanded, return to the judgement of the gods. He lingers in Middle-earth [Halbrand]. Very slowly, beginning with fair motives: the reorganising and rehabilitation of the ruin of Middle-earth, neglected by the gods', he becomes a reincarnation of Evil, and a thing lusting for Complete Power – and so consumed ever more fiercely with hate (especially of gods and Elves). All through the twilight of the Second Age the Shadow is growing in the East of Middle-earth, spreading its sway more and more over Men – who multiply as the Elves begin to fade. Tolkien Letter 131
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Sauron was of course not 'evil' in origin. He was a 'spirit' corrupted by the Prime Dark Lord (the Prime sub-creative Rebel) Morgoth. He was given an opportunity of repentance, when Morgoth was overcome, but could not face the humiliation of recantation, and suing for pardon; and so his temporary turn to good and 'benevolence' ended in a greater relapse, until he became the main representative of Evil of later ages. But at the beginning of the Second Age he was still beautiful to look at, or could still assume a beautiful visible shape – and was not indeed wholly evil, not unless all 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization' are wholly evil, even before pride and the lust to exert their will eat them up. The particular branch of the High-Elves concerned, the Noldor or Loremasters, were always on the side of 'science and technology', as we should call it: they wanted to have the knowledge that Sauron genuinely had, and those of Eregion refused the warnings of Gil-galad and Elrond. Tolkien Letter 153
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Halbrand was repentant Mairon. Annatar is Mairon falling back into evil.
Galadriel is not yet the “repentant sinner” Tolkien described her to be, in his legendarium, either. In Season 2, she doesn’t own up to her actions, and is still making excuses for them: “I was deceived”; “Sauron used me”; “Under his harp I was played to a melody not of my choosing”, bla bla bla.
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She’s still in self-denial about her actions in Season 1: she’s the one who tempted Mairon with promises of power and, pretty much directly, caused him to choose deception over redemption, and condemned Middle-earth to Sauron’s tyranny (this is also somewhat compatible to what Tolkien wrote, because in the lore the Elves are also to blame).
And I’m almost certain she’ll have to f*ck up even harder in order to have a “eye opening” moment. Because one can’t really be a “penitent” (using Tolkien’s words) unless one takes ownership of one's actions, and makes the conscious decision to atone for them. 
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sufferu · 1 month ago
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Hey pookie bear first of all love your work keep at it! Second of all can you tell us more about your RE:forgotten IF please?? Would love to know about how the other characters react to and feel about what happened to subaru (much love anon)
Okay so I don’t actually have a big outline for a Re:Forgotten Spinoff plot, but what it would basically be — if I were to write it — is an exploration of Subaru’s tendency to forgive truly monstrous crimes committed against him. In canon, that sort of thing largely goes unnoticed because of the whole time travel part of the equation, but Re:Forgotten’s setup is unique in that it allows for all of that to be out front and center-stage for once, and that’s the sort of thing I’d love to take advantage of.
Subaru has not died once, in this fic, even though he has attempted to do so on a couple of occasions. Instead, he has been captured, tortured, neglected, and otherwise abused within the full memories of the people responsible. As such, when their memories of who he is return — well.
Some individual examples of how people react:
Subaru still sees Wilhelm as this amazing older mentor figure who he aspires to become, on some level or another, while just — tactfully ignoring the massive elephant in the room. Wilhelm is getting more and more freaked out by the realization that this is GENUINE. Wilhelm was actually very personally responsible for a lot of Subaru’s abuse here, and now he’s not only being denied a chance to atone for his sins, but the fact that he committed those sins in the first place is… How does he even begin to approach this?
Ferris had to choose between his oath to his Lady and that same Lady’s life, and now he’s facing the realization that his decision to pick the latter was apparently completely useless all along, because torturing Subaru was never going to do anything anyway. Also he nearly drove this man to suicide several times. He is not well. Subaru is openly concerned for his sake, and that makes it even worse.
Subaru refuses to let Ferris or Julius retire from knighthood. It was Julius’ suggestion — the most obvious first step on the path to atonement, given what they just did — but Subaru learned what they were planning and fiercely objected, and — I mean, can you really make a symbolic apology like that if the person you are apologizing to is so adamantly against it? So now Julius is stuck with a title he feels he does not deserve, and also Subaru keeps trying to play fight with him like he did BEFORE Julius — was complicit in abusing him in a dark cell for months on end. Julius does not know what to do.
Emilia said some really mean things to Subaru before he got locked up. Beatrice, too. Subaru won’t even let the two of them apologize for any of it.
Was he always like this…?
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superfallingstars · 6 months ago
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Personally I think jily is supposed to be idealized (like how James and lily were idealized) to Harry. James gets knocked of his pedestal in swm and so does jily by Harry questioning if his father forced his mother into marriage. Later when talking to lupin and Sirius James and Jily get a slight defense and Harry is back to feeling alright but with the knowledge that things weren’t perfect.
I personally don’t read Jily as abusive (even though I read James as being abusive to snape at school, but I don’t think that violent, physical behavior was extended to Lily) but I definitely don’t read them as a “good” couple (whatever that means). I think you can read it in many different ways given there is so little of them and I think an interpretation that their relationship wasn’t the healthiest is perfectly plausible with the scant information we’re given.
Yeahhhh that’s probably what JKR intended. James and Lily are the fridged parents who are dearly mourned and missed, and as a result, their flaws are completely smoothed over in everyone’s memories. But in Snape’s Worst Memory, Harry learns the hard lesson that things aren’t always what they seem, and that nobody is perfect, not even his dead father. Hurrah.
My problem with this is that I think it’s very boring, LOL. Like it really is probably exactly what JKR intended (given her middle-of-the-road takes on every moral and political question that happens in these books), but man, it feels like such a cop out. James basically ruins Snape’s life for no reason, and the conclusion we’re meant to draw from this is just, well, people are complicated! NO!!!! Bad answer!!! Like, Snape also did some terrible things, but at least he spends a ton of pages actively suffering/atoning for his sins. But James, on the other hand, is only somewhat implied to have changed maybe slightly a little bit somewhere off-page, and we just have to take #1 James Potter fanboy Sirius Black and serial understater Remus Lupin at their word. So if James was supposed to be “redeemed” – or even just excused – wow, it really doesn't work for me. You can't go as dark as "protagonist questions if his father forced his mother into marriage" and then just brush it off like no big deal, Joanne! And it’s so frustrating, because all it would've taken to fix this would've been to show James being a good person instead of just telling the reader that he was one (proof: trust me?). Ugh.
So because of all that, I agree that from what we’re given, it’s quite difficult to read Jily as “good.” We rarely see them interact, and when we do, James’s behavior is wayyyy too similar to the trope of “terrible guy eventually gets the girl even though she seems to hate him with every fiber of her being because his persistence and not taking no for an answer is just toooo romantic to resist.” Which sucks, lol. It feels like JKR is basically being like, “eh, James was young and dumb, whatever” and giving him a huge out for all the grief he caused Snape (and Lily, for that matter) – and she expects that the reader will agree that that is a legitimate excuse for his behavior, and by extension think that it's reasonable for Lily to forgive and eventually marry him. And man, I am just not sure if that is enough to convince me. (And evidently, I'm not alone, considering the “Jily is abusive” meta post that likely sparked this ask!)
With that said, I agree that it’s a stretch to say that James was abusive (or even implied to be abusive) toward Lily. It’s not a completely unfounded take – it could probably be written well in a fic, and even be canon compliant – but you would really have to extrapolate that dynamic from the little information we’re given (as you pointed out). And more importantly (at least, re: that meta), I don't think JKR intended that interpretation at all.
Personally, I just don’t think it makes sense for the narrative for James and Lily to have been in an abusive relationship. And by the narrative, I mean Harry. If Jily is an abusive (or even just bad) relationship, that would have massive ramifications for the way Harry sees his parents. Ideally he would have to come to terms with that at some point – I don’t think it makes sense for James’s and Lily’s relationship to have been this way and not have significantly affected Harry – but imo JKR clearly does not want to deal with that. Like you said, the point of SWM – aside from foreshadowing Lily and Snape’s relationship – was to knock James off his pedestal and basically go, See, nobody’s perfect. <3 And the story is not interested in engaging with James’s behavior on a level any deeper than that lol. Which ok, I don’t love it, but if we’re not going to spend time dealing with morally gray James, then it doesn’t make sense for him to be even more morally gray (or rather, have him fall face first over the line into becoming a downright despicable person) by making him abusive toward Lily.
So that's my Doylist analysis: no way in hell did JKR intend Jily to be an abusive relationship, but she also didn't do a good enough job defending and/or redeeming James after SWM, so we're just left to speculate about how much he really changed. Still, I don't think "JKR is a bad writer" is a very satisfying answer. After all, the only reason that I'm engaging with this text in the first place is because I'm a fan of it, so I think it's also worth looking at it from a Watsonian perspective – or at least, to accept the events of the book as they're written and try to fill in the blanks. (Imo so much of the fun of fandom is trying to fill in those blanks in a satisfying way, to expand upon a character and try to reach a more interesting conclusion than the author did... And I would be remiss not to mention that, because it undoubtedly influences the way that I (and probably also you, if you're on this side of tumblr) engage with the text.)
So for me, as a Marauders era fan, I’m faced with: ok, I don’t really like the idea of these two characters together, but they canonically got together, and I think the story is better because they got together, and it’s better if they genuinely like each other, and it all had to happen somehow – so how can I explain it in a way that both makes sense with the story and is satisfying to me? And my answer to that is twofold.
First, I imagine that James was not always quite such an awful guy (as in, not always as showy, combative, and cruel as he was in SWM). After all, there is a glimmer of goodness in him when he chooses to save Snape’s life during the Prank, revealing that somewhere deep down, he does in fact have a moral compass. And second, I think that he has to have changed. And I mean a genuine change – one that might not have resulted in completely different behavior (after all, he was still hexing Snape through his seventh year) – but regardless, something that makes him seriously reflect on his actions and reconsider his motivations. His behavior in SWM is just too inexcusable for him to get with Lily – partly because Lily is generally framed as a Very Good Person, and partly because regardless of how she is framed, James was still awful to her – without any self-reflection or growth. Of course, the problem then becomes explaining this in a satisfying way!
And I have some ideas in mind – but they’re definitely more speculation than fact, and omg this post is long enough already. Luckily, I received another ask on this topic, so I will save my self-indulgent headcanons for that.
There is one last thing I want to mention, which is (part of) my reasoning for why James may not have been such a bully all the time and why I think he has the capacity for change, and it's been nagging at me ever since I read that meta post (which again, presumably started this whole thing). I think one thing that bothers a lot of people (including me!) about James is that it seems like he chooses to pick on Snape in SWM because of Lily’s presence. He wants to show off to her, so he keeps looking over to the girls by the water, he ruffles his hair, he deepens his voice, and he tries to get her attention by targeting Snape. Following this logic, we can presume that James wouldn’t have done any of this if Lily hadn’t been there – and that’s the part that got me thinking. I have to wonder if Lily was perhaps not the only person who James wanted to impress in that scene… in fact, I think it’s incredibly likely that James would have acted differently if the Marauders hadn’t been there! (Harry has "the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off," and Sirius saying that he's bored is the inciting incident for James spotting Snape...!) Yes it’s going to be a James masculinity analysis because this is what happens every time I talk about these fucking characters apparently. So idk, stick around if you’re into that.
And of course, thank you for the ask!
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sad-ghost-of-garbage · 7 months ago
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Nicknames with the Lost Boys
Affectionate and Goofy nicknames for and from the boys
Author: SadGhostofGarbage Warnings: this is a crackfic! It’s only semi serious. There is some NSFW headcannons so MDNI!
David:
David’s nicknames for reader: Kitten, Kitty, Kit Cat, Doll face, Beloved, and My Queen (Yes even as a male reader, David believes himself the King so naturally his partner is his other half despite gender. He regards his partner as the chess Queen to his King; here is a lil blurb of how I see the conversation going, the first time it happens.
Male reader x David: “Um David, why did you call me your Queen? I am a whole grown ass man?” “Beloved, you are the most important piece on my chess board, since I'm clearly the King, you are my other half.” The bastard has the audacity to say condescendingly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You do realize that means I should be protecting you right?” That wipes the smirk right off his face, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Absolutely not happening”. He says with teeth grit in a firm line. “You are not putting yourself in any danger ever.” “Then by chess standards that makes you the Queen”. It was your turn for the shit eating grin, the expression on his face was priceless. It is definitely one of your favorite ways to tease him from that moment on. If however it causes you discomfort he will refrain from using it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still tease him with it. You will be punished accordingly after every instance you jokingly call him “my Queen”, but teasing him is half the fun. Side note, Paul tries to help by suggesting you combine the two, “One of you can be, Quee-ing, and the other can be Ki-een. BOOM! Problem solved, you’re welcome!” Spoiler… It does not solve the problem.
Things that David secretly loves being called, its a “secret” because he “doesn’t do nicknames”: Handsome, Cowboy, My King, My one, My love, basically anything that has a possessive edge implying that David is readers everything (Daddy loves to be needed)
Things reader (and the boys) call him that he “hates”: Daviey (Paul’s go to mostly), Marko calls him Daddy as if he were confessing to a Catholic priest during confession; “Daddy I’ve been naughty” instead of “forgive me father for I have sinned”. Chaos ensues and you will catch David chasing Marko around the cave on multiple occasions for this very reason. David won’t admit out loud that he’s okay with his partner calling him Daddy but he does prefer Sir, but if it revs your engines then he will graciously allow you to call him Daddy. Moral of the story… David is a butthead.
Names David actually hates being called: Baby, And any nickname that is overly obnoxious like : Stud muffin, or Pookie.
Dwayne:
Dwayne’s nicknames for reader; Darling, Sweetheart, Baby/Babygirl/Babyboy (if it is Babyboy, just know Paul is jealous), Mama or Nobi for a non gendered version (of a parental name that both he and Laddie call a parental figure reader), Prince/Princess/Princex
Dwayne’s nicknames from the reader and the boys, they are all fair game for D-man: Papa, Big man, D, Snuggle bear, Big Cat, Baby Daddy
Nicknames that are affectionate when it comes from reader, and jokingly when coming from the boys: Gigantus, Tall Dark and Dracula, Skater boy, Dork
Paul:
Paul’s nicknames for Reader: Sugar, babe, bug, Beautiful/Handsome/Gorgeous, Hot Stuff, My cute lil capri sun! If you're still human. Bit will continue to call you that after you become a vamp as well, he just likes biting. (fun fact I looked up when capri-sun came out, the answer? 1969! its cannon!)
Paul’s nicknames from reader and the boys: Paulie, Puppy, Pretty boy, jellybelly~ Paul got high af and cried because his blood wasn’t jelly bean flavored after he ate 12 bags of them. “I wanna be a jellybean damn it” 😭 NSFW: I saw a post going around about sucking Paul’s dick and my brain went… ah a Paulie pop… and now it lives rent free in my head so have that too
Marko:
Marko’s nicknames for reader: Angel, Dove, Love, precious one, Sunshine, Tesoro / my treasure (if you headcannon him as an Italian, as many do 😉) the Juliet to his Romeo if you're a fem reader (until you point out that Juliet was like 13 and Romeo was 16. And comparing your love to that of children was not as romantic as he assumed it was. Those names quickly get abandoned)
Nicknames for Marko: Cassanova, Italian Stallion, Stud, Angel (the first time reader calls him angel you both argue over who gets to call the other angel, and it ends with an intervention from David. “You are both little devils, you brats!” you both continue to call each other angel, and David continues to call you both little devils.)
Nicknames that will get get you (or the boys) in trouble and not the good kind: Cherub, bird boy.
side note, I'd love to hear what nicknames you guys think the boys like being called and call their partners
Taglist: @ria-coolgirl, @britany1997, @henhouse-horrors. If you want added to my Lost Boys taglist lemme know!
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inphront · 10 months ago
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y’know i’m writing this fic and it’s making me think that maybe we don’t recognize enough as a fandom that a lot of harrow’s guilt and shame, which make her light years more sympathetic as a character, are a.) not actually that moral, b.) directly caused by the ninth, and c.) probably shared with her parents, the only characters in the whole series that i’ve never seen a single post trying to humanize/analyze as complex. like. harrow hates herself for what her parents did and honestly? the most likely reason for this is just that kids subconsciously recognize themselves as extensions of their parents, and *her parents probably hated themselves for what they did.* regularly explaining your crimes against humanity to your five-year-old but only being willing to discuss it in the terms of it being a horrible sin and having to take a ritual cleansing bath every single time is the action of a very guilty person. i have to imagine that those saltwater baths probably included some really intense self-flagellation on the part of harrow’s parents that she internalized. i’d venture so far as to say that their suicides were motivated by guilt over the massacre just as much as by shame over the opening of the tomb.
harrow’s sense of constant guilt is so often seen as proof of her having overcome the imperial morality pushed by the houses, and that makes sense given the fact that she *has* taken a viewpoint by the end of the series that opposes imperial morality, but also, guilt is like the main export of the ninth house. harrow’s relationship to it, even once it stops being something she projects onto gideon or otherwise externalizes, is fundamentally ninth and ties her to what she herself acknowledges as “the worst flaws of her house.” ultimately it is something she inherited just as much as the 200, which to me provokes a lot of questions about how her parents actually coped with the consequences of their own fucked-up actions. gideon experienced that coping as just straight cruelty, but we know that harrow got a much more complex window into their feelings and behaviors, and my guess is those behaviors bore distinct resemblance to hers.
i have to wonder what sorts of systemic pressures were falling on them and their house that led to them killing off a whole generation, and what sort of transformations they underwent. how *do* you live with yourself knowing that the blood of so many innocent people, people you were responsible for *protecting,* is on your hands? how could you possibly raise a well-adjusted child when she’s basically a mirror into an atrocity you could’ve hardly fathomed up till the day you committed it? do you think they tried to? i think they probably tried to, but ultimately being a good parent doesn’t change being a mass murderer, and it’s impossible to pull off at all when the mass murder is so directly tied to your hopes for your child. the ninth’s entire purpose within the empire is to carry the weight and memory of one of the most horrible things john ever did, to *inherit the mass death and necromantic subjugation of the earth.* in this capacity, harrow’s parents are *victims* of the empire and its doctrine around death who proceeded to perpetuate both the mass death and necromantic subjugation AND the task of bearing the burden of shame onto their next generation. i don’t really know where i’m going with this aside from “the ninth’s cycle of violence is based in shame and is an extension of john’s disbelief in forgiveness, which means harrow can’t break it without forgiving something unforgivable; it’ll be interesting to see how she manages such a difficult task,” and “i think we oughtta talk about the politics of guilt as it applies to the entire reverend family dynamic”
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