#posting to this blog because a surprising number of Christians follow me here

[glimblshanks]

It's so difficult, because I genuinely do want to understand what the whole deal with Christianity is, but Christians are so apposed to any line of questioning about their belief system (in a way that no other religion is) that if you say anything they don't like they shut down and accuse you of being a sinner.

And it's like bro, I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm trying to understand why this religion is even appealing to you. How do you manage to get so many converts when you're not even willing to answer basic questions about your theology?

Everyone I've found who's actually willing to discuss Christian theology with me is an ex-Christian which is super unhelpful, because ex-Christians are people who have deconstructed Christian belief and come to the conclusion that it doesn't work for them. They're always very cynical about the whole situation. That's not what I'm looking for.

I want to talk to someone who's still into it. I want to understand what actually draws people to this religion ( I do not want to be trauma dumped at - I don't know what aspect of Christian belief confuses y'all into thinking that trauma dumping is an appropriate substitute for theological discussion, but it absolutely isn't).

Like you would really think for one of the most popular religions in the world finding answers to this stuff would be easier. Why can't you guys just talk about your beliefs?

[arcane-abomination]

Please read everything before asking questions!

My words may sound harsh in this post but I assure you they are only so to convey the seriousness of the content. I’m actually a very friendly person and enjoy talking to people.

⚜�� I’m a married individual. I’m not looking for romantic relationships online.

I am perfectly fine being friends with people. In fact I LOVE meeting new practitioners online. Especially ones with varying views from my own. I’ve met some people that I’ve become extremely close with and can honestly say they are some of my best friends even though we’ve never met in person. But…I’m not looking for any sort of romantic relationship. I’ve been with the same person for about 10 years now (as of 2024 anyway) and have no interest in anyone else. So if you’re only following me going to get something more, you’re wasting your time.

⚜️ I don’t give out my private phone number or address. I live in the USA…that’s all you’re getting.

You’d be surprised how often creepy people try to coax out personal information. Now…I have shared my actual address and phone number before, however it’s ONLY with people I’ve known for several years and we’ve talked enough to build up a trustful friendship during that time.

⚜️ My Anon asks are disabled on this blog.

I don’t like anon asks because it gives license to bullies and trolls to say whatever they want without fear of being attached publicly to their despicable behavior. If you want to say something to me…you do it to my face, and you do so under the assumption that I can share that information with others in the community. People love to hide behind masks, and that’s all Anon is…a mask. If you know you’ll get backlash for saying what you’re saying…don’t say it…that simple. I don’t play games, and am not above alerting others to that disgusting behavior so they can be safe and secure.

(Now I realize some people are more comfortable asking real questions anonymously and I’m sorry for that. But I can assure you that if you request a private answer I will be more than happy to do that.)

⚜️ I use my BLOCK button.

I’ve been told before that blocking people is “infringing on their free speech.” Well…no it isn’t. Further more, that’s an extraordinarily hypocritical way of thinking. The block button is apart of freedom of speech. This freedom isn’t confined to what you can physically say. Any way you can convey your thoughts and feelings, is a form of speech (the fact that you’re typing out your complaints should attest to that) This should go without saying then that it means the block button is also a valid form of speech. So I will be continuing to use my block feature. If you don’t like it…oh well. Just get over it and move on. It’s not the end of the world.

⚜️ I don’t observe certain holidays, and will not celebrate them. That means I probably won’t wish you well on them even if you wish me a pleasant one. It’s nothing against any individual but there are certain things about these holidays I have a problem with (commercialism aside).

Christmas: I’m not a Christian, I believe Jesus was an idea and folkloric figure not a real person, and the modern holiday of Xmas is based on a multitude of pagan practices the Christian church takes credit for.

Thanksgiving: The thanksgiving we are taught in schools is a lie. It was a story that was told in an attempt to improve relationships with native people. It was placed where it was on the calendar as well because it was thought to be necessary to lead into Christmas and further drown out the so called “evils” of Halloween. It also doubled as a way to increase turkey sales. The real story of Thanksgiving is horrific and can be found HERE.

Easter: Once more I’m not a Christian, I believe Jesus was an idea and folkloric figure not a real person, and the modern holiday of Easter has some pagan practices the Christian church takes credit for, just like Christmas.

St Patrick’s Day: I don’t align with the church and this entire holiday is built around the fact that a Saint chased the Druid’s from their homes and forced them to convert.

⚜️ I don’t care about your religion.

I’m sorry to say that so blatantly but it’s true. I’m not a fan of organized religions in any way. I have lots of PTSD from my time in a Christian household. This doesn’t mean I will demonize you though or your beliefs. Nor will I try to convert you. On the contrary, I believe people can have whatever religion they want as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, and I will fight tooth and nail for people to be able to make those choices. However, this doesn’t mean I will sugarcoat my opinion of those religions if it’s asked. Nor will I observe any religious custom just because someone else I know does.

Now, I welcome friendly debate within the magickal community but I’m always hesitant when it’s directly based on religion. Mainly because religious bias can play a role with most people regarding history and I’m not one who sees religious bias as credible. I feel it makes a box, and then you have to twist and alter facts to make them fit. I dislike debating this way as it often comes down to either smashing someone’s religion, or an argument and I dislike either. Now this doesn’t mean I won’t debate religion, but the moment you start trying to hold religions doctrine as a credible source I’m out, sorry. I would much rather just talk about practices and the spirituality of your beliefs than the religious side of it.

⚜️ I won’t play into your fantasies.

There’s lots of people under the pagan label that hold to what I believe to be fantasies within their craft. These people often seem to blur the line between dnd and authentic pagan practices. And while they have a right to believe that, I also have a right not to. However, I don’t set out to demonize or devalue such people. I usually just ignore them for the most part or at the very least, if they are my friends, just avoid talking about those specific parts of their beliefs. I’m not one to judge another’s practice or try to convert them in any way…however…just as in the case of religion, I won’t surcoat things or play into someone’s fantasy if they decide to ask me about my thoughts on it. I believe in being truthful to people, especially when they trust me enough to want to know my opinion.

⚜️ I’m not your teacher, or your guide.

It may seem odd to have this here seeing as I have posts on my blog of a teaching nature, but I refuse to take up that mantle. I post what I do to help people who need somewhere to start but the rest is up to them to pursue things as they deem necessary. I am not responsible for what you learn or how you decide to learn it. I’m happy to offer advice and share my story and recommendations but that’s it. I believe the best teacher is the experience you obtain from applying action to the research you’ve gathered. I’m merely offering a bit of that research and nothing more.

⚜️ I hate drama and won’t partake in it.

I don’t do drama. Please kindly leave me out of your mess. I don’t mind if CLOSE FRIENDS rant and let off steam but if I don’t know you that well I don’t care. Sorry to be blunt but there’s a big difference in people that I consider a meaningful part of my life and people I barely know or don’t know that well.

[mattfleck-extended]

Welcome to MATTFLECK Extended Universe (MFEU)

This blog is managed by me, Hex (🏳‍🌈)

I will be here only to share my thoughts on Mattfleck and the crossover I'd write for them.

First of all, personally— I'm not fully RPS/RPF [by this I mean, I ship the characters they've portrayed— as if I'm basically being unoriginal and using them as the face claim for my OC/Self-Insert thingy]. But, if you are... You do you, and enjoy! I guess...

Second— if you're making my blog not friendly, then there would be no friendly "Welcome" for you. ADIOS!

Third, this is just a side-blog. I can't follow you, but you can still send message to me, if you want/need to. Feel free, my friend!

That's it from me... I'll put the informations and links for the universes, below (links and tags will be updated later).

Note: not yet for the links, I haven't posted anything yet😭 I guess, this is currently only the teasers and for my personal reminder to frikin POST THE THING(s).

The Numbers and The Shadows

Jason Bourne × Christian Wolff

"After a rare successful operation that allowed them to sever the last remnants of Treadstone, Jason Bourne and Christian Wolff decided to lay low in a quiet costal town and attempting for normalcy."

informations : silently romantic , actions louder than voices ,

Threads of Change

Jason Bourne x Christian Wolff

Will Hunting x Chuckie Sullivan

"Jason had been sent to retrieve an Asset (Christian), who was found working for a black-ops program that exploited his abilities. But, when Jason saw how Christian was being used —drugged, manipulated, exploited, biologically experimented, and pushed to the brink— he defied his orders. He was supposed to bring him in. instead, he burned the whole operation to the ground."

Informations : body experimentation , drugs , exploitation , male-pregnancy , Will as Bourne-Wolff biological son ,

The Retired Legends

Jason Bourne x Christian Wolff

"After a long way passed to finally burned down the agencies, Jason and Christian has managed to put their life into normalcy. Habits won't die. Abilities won't dulled. But, they will continue to live, together."

Informations : married bourne-wolff , retired from the dangerous life , christian as a professor in a university , jason as a head of campus security in the same university ,

Running Back to You

Will Hunting × Chuckie Sullivan

"Chuckie and Will write each other letters. It's been years since the last time Will moving out without saying anything to Chuckie. Just when Will ready to make a call, someone has already called him... that Chuckie has been taken to the hospital. Chickie got accident that makes him— unable to move his legs temporarily."

informations : accident , temporal physical disability ,

When Will I See You Again?

Will Hunting × Chuckie Sullivan

"After years away from Boston, Will has saved his money to moving in back to his old house. He has planned to surprise Chuckie when he came, but— Chuckie couldn't even recognize him. Not because amnesia... It's because Chuckie is temporarily having vision loss after an accident at the building site; it's not even his fault."

informations : temporarily blind Chuckie ,

Passing the Batons

Will Hunting × Chuckie Sullivan

Jason Bourne × Christian Wolff

"The chaos unsues deeper when Will Hunting became the new Lecturer in the university. Not only he turns out to be the Son of The Legend Couple (Mr. Bourne and Dr. Wolff), but he's also married with The Mr. Fixer, Chuckie Sullivan."

informations : extending "The Retired Legends" , combining "When Will I See You Again?",

[adventuretolkienlover]

IMPORTANT: ON HIATUS. SORRY. :( We'll be back soon!

Hello internet people! Call me JP! I'm currently on "vacation" at the moment. (IRL stuff is rough.😭) But I hope to be back soon! A pinned post update will also come when I do return as well. But this is what I have for now.

I'm a writer, artist, a Christian, Tangled and Scooby Doo fanatic, and fun local weirdo! I love supporting my besties and making and Rebloging fun stuff for y'all to enjoy!

So I hope you enjoy this blog and the content it provides.

But first! Some house rules and regulations! And What I've got to offer. It's all Below the cut! Please read.

1: This blog is kept mostly G-PG and family friendly! No dirty language or inappropriate topics! HOWEVER, I can't control what other people say, so unless it has warnings in the title, post, or introduction, PLEASE check the tags. I can't guarantee that reblogs and comments won't have cussing and other triggering stuff. So if you're young, please be mindful.

2: I'm an artist and writer. So I will post homemade content here! But please do not repost art or writing without permission. Reblogs and likes are just fine though! And so are comments as long as they are respectful!

3: This blog is a safe place. So please no cyber bullying! We can all respect each other. Conversation and discussion is okay though! Just like in point number 2, keep it respectful! Any and all Cyber Bullies and Hate Commenters will be blocked for the safety of the blog's followers.

ASKS: Here's the rules for the asks!

Anonymous asks are OFF. You have to be okay with your blog being seen. No exceptions. It's just so I know who's talking to me.

Any and all hate mailers will be blocked, and reported. I won't read or answer any hate mail either.

Nothing inappropriate or sexual. This is big one! I do not do anything with this kind of stuff. Never! So a big no no! If you do send something like this in, you are at risk of me blocking you.

Please no cussing or rude language. This is only because my blog is kept G-PG and I try my best to keep all content that way. Family Friendly is my motto!😁 You're more likely to get your ask posted if you don't cuss. So please, no dirty language.

I might not be able to or want to answer every ask. Please keep that in mind.

No requests! At all! Unless I have a post stating that I'm accepting them. There will be a post stating when they are closed afterward as well. So please make sure before sending in any.

I don't answer questions that touch on sensitive info on me. This is just basic internet safety. That doesn't mean you can't ask questions about me though! Here's an example. (Good Questions: What's your favorite color?/What kind of movies do you like?) (Bad Questions: What you're phone number?/Where do you live?)

I love getting asks about my art and writing. So don't be afraid to ask questions about it! Send them in! They're some of my favorite things to talk about! Just know that I will probably info dump to you.😂

Here's my Side Blog. It's kinda dead currently. I had a hard time updating everyday. But there's lots of clean memes posted there already!

FANFIC LIST: Here's a list of all my fics so far. It will get longer eventually.

VAT7K Alchemy Bros AU:

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 1: Epilogue and a Prelude)

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 2: Home at Last!)

The Journey's Just Begun (Chapter 3: Good Impressions)

Chicken Troubles

Blood Brothers

Varian's First Lab Partner (Short Story)

Ruddigar's Surprise! (Mother's Day Special!)

Sick Days (Sicktember 2023)

Alright! That's all for now! Have a nice day! And God Bless! ❤️❤️❤️

[konglindorm]

King Thrushbeard

King Thrushbeard has always been one of my favorite fairy tales. Top five, easily. (The top five, in no particular order: King Thrushbeard, Prince Lindworm, Donkey Cabbages, East of the Sun West of the Moon, and Beauty and the Beast.) This is partly because (spoiler) I'm a total sucker for secret identities (I blame this on early exposure to Robin Hood and The Princess Bride), and I think partly because of a blog post I read years and years and years ago, which analyzed King Thrushbeard as a Christian allegory. It was a really fascinating post, and I wish I could link it for you, but I first encountered it over a decade ago, and I wouldn't know where to even begin looking for it now.

So recently I reread King Thrushbeard for the first time in at least five years. Which. Kind of a mistake. Some things are just better in memory. (Which is why I no longer read favorite books from my childhood. Some things you just can't bear to have ruined by, like, good taste.)

Anyway. Let's get into it.

Our story starts with a princess who doesn't want to get married, which. Fair. But we're in a setting, where,  like, you kinda gotta anyway. Princesses in this culture are not doing a lot of marrying for love, even in fairy tales. And our girl, she's being pretty much as difficult as possible about it. Her father keeps on bringing in suitors, and she keeps on rejecting them in the rudest ways possible. Mostly stuff about their physical appearances. "I can't marry this guy; he's so fat he looks like a wine barrel." "He's so red he looks like a rooster." "His chin is so crooked it looks like a thrush's beak." Etc., etc. Except that the thrush beak one - I'm glancing through the pitt.edu version as I write this post and that's what it says, but in other translations I know they've said his beard looks like a thrush's nest, which makes much more sense to me because facial hair is much more easily changed than chin shape.

Now, okay, I get that marrying a total stranger to strengthen your father's political alliances isn't fun. But insulting powerful men as you reject them is just not the best idea, hon. You're gonna cause problems there. People are gonna blame your dad for your rudeness and not want to be in treaties with him anymore. Which you should know.

So. Dad gets fed up with this whole thing after princess rejects the latest batch of suitors, and swears to marry her to the next beggar that comes to the door. Minstrel beggar comes by shortly afterwards, and beggar and princess are married despite strenuous objections by both. King kicks princess out, because it's "not proper for a beggar's wife to live in the palace."

Princess and beggar walk a ways. They pass through a number of beautiful places owned by King Thrushbeard (which is what we're calling chin/beard dude now), and princess bemoans her foolishness in refusing to marry him. Out loud, which her new husband points out is pretty rude, as she's married to him now.

Eventually they reach the tiny hut where they're going to live. Princess is shocked and horrified by lack of servants. Beggar immediately sets her to cooking and housework, neither of which she has any idea how to do. And then he decides she needs to get a job.

(Once he gets married we never see him beg again, or do any other kind of work; he just expects his brand new wife with no marketable skills to provide for him and contributes absolutely nothing to the relationship. Fantastic. Real stand-up guy.)

Princess is set to weaving baskets, but the materials cut her delicate princess hands. She's set to spinning thread, but those materials also cut her delicate princess hands, and, like, what? Exactly how delicate do your hands have to be to be cut by thread? Apparently we just have a full-on Princess and the Pea situation here. Okay.

Beggar sets her to selling pottery in the marketplace. That goes really well; people buy her pots because she's pretty and sad and they feel sorry for her. This is apparently pottery that the beggar bought from someone else, making the princess sort of the middleman here. Which is where the trouble comes in; some drunk dude on a horse comes through the market and smashes all her pots. Which she and the beggar then have to pay for.

And of course, according to the beggar, this is all her fault, because of the part of the market she chose to work in? If she'd set up somewhere else the pots wouldn't have been trampled. And, like, I'm not liking the beggar. Not an appealing character. Kind of a jerk.

He gets the princess a job as a kitchen maid at King Thrushbeard's palace. She starts smuggling food home in her pockets, which will become relevant in a minute here, because she and her husband are very poor, and food is hard to come by.

All goes well until the king's wedding day. She's got her pockets full of food, and the king - King Thrushbeard, who she so rudely rejected - demands that she, a random kitchen maid, dance with him. While they're dancing, all her pockets burst, spilling the stolen food, and she's in filthy rags in a ballroom in front of a suitor she rejected, so she makes the only logical choice and runs right out of there.

The king follows her. He says, "Surprise! I'm your beggar husband and somehow you didn't recognize me just now? I orchestrated this whole big thing - the marriage, the broken pots, that fun little wardrobe malfunction you just had - to teach you a lesson. And now that you've learned it we can live happily ever after!"

To which the princess replies, "I suck and I'm not worthy to be your wife," which. Just. Oh, honey, no. You were really rude to him once, so he made the next several months of your life a living hell. You are not the unworthy one. Why do you think you're unworthy? Is this Stockholm Syndrome? Do you have Stockholm Syndrome? Is that even how Stockholm Syndrome works? Probably not, but I am Concerned.

(One of these days I'd like to make it through a whole fairy tale summary without being Concerned. Hasn't happened yet.)

So. The wedding that's happening is her surprise wedding, she changes clothes quick before the ceremony, and they live happily ever after. Good times. Our beggar/Thrushbeard was a lot more likeable in my memory before this reread.

(This post was available early on my Patreon.)

[thatdamnokie]

get to know me.

tagged by @nimfeach <3 (who is very very nice everyone go follow her)

name/nickname: morgs, mo, morgie, okie

gender: female

star sign: gemini sun, scorpio moon, leo ascendant

height: 5’6″

time: 2:44 pm as i type this

birthday: june 5th

favourite bands: x ambassadors, soul coughing, a tribe called red

favourite solo artists: hozier, chance the rapper, johnny cash

song stuck in my head: ‘i wonder’ from sleeping beauty (1959)

last movie: cinderella (1950)

last show: the twilight zone (1959-1964) it’s a tradition!

when did i create this blog: dec. 31st 2014, soooo just a little over six years ago, which is a trip to think about. the only reason i’m here is because of @unfashionablehousewife.

 what i post: christianity, witchcraft and just... so much other stuff, i can never seem to stick to a coherent theme. those two are generally pretty much always here though.

last thing i googled: ‘mcr vampire money’

other blogs: @the-roanoke-society, @vpshot-halos, @ginxnotxvodka, @welcometothegoodtimes, @this-seems-familiar and @lowflying-angel. yes, i’m aware this is excessive. no, i’ll probably still make more when i feel like it tbh.

following: +1800

followers: ~2100 across all urls but who knows how many of them are real people.

average hours of sleep: i aim for at least 8, usually end up with 7-6; my sleep health is not that great, but also not as bad as it could be.

lucky number: 3, 5, 7 and 9

instruments: i played the euphonium, baritone and valve trombone in high school, does that count?

what i am wearing: cute unmentionables and a silk robe we’re trying to be more indulgent in 2021 and i love not needing anyone’s permission to do so

dream job: worldwalker horror novelist

dream trip: back to glasgow

favourite food: ramen specifically from gorō in okc

nationality: unfortunately american

favourite song: soul coughing, ‘circle’

last book i read: ender’s game by orson scott card

top 3 fictional universes i would like to live in: kingsman (surprise, surprise), once upon a time, and welcome to night vale

tagging: @blackbirdie1022, @omelevate, @bloodofthepen, @bearded-wond3r, @klarastjarnljus, @quantum-dragon and @kill-the-feels no pressure though! this is just for fun.

[liskantope]

Some briefer(?) reactions to major Disney films 1989-1998

I consider the Disney Renaissance (around the period I refer to in the above title) to have been the last official leg of my chronological journey through major Disney features through Disney+ (for this one I need to mention that I’m excluding CGI animated ones on this journey, except when I feel like watching them on the side). I logged some thoughts on the films I watched in the two earlier legs of the journey here and here, where honestly I intended my notes to be short and not turn into full-blown mini-essays for each movie. Those posts turned out to be major timesucks and I can’t afford that now, but I thought I’d jot down a hodgepodge of reactions and just be briefer and sloppier about it. I feel like I have overall less to say about this set of films anyway, since they’re pretty much all very high-quality and are talked about extensively in the cultural discourse much more than films from Disney’s earlier eras.

As I was still trying to stick to taking one day for each year in the Disney Studios timeline and major film production by Disney picked up pace a lot at the start of this era, I wound up doing a rather intense marathon of one full Disney movie each evening: over ten evenings (corresponding to the years 1989 through 1998), I watched the ten movies The Little Mermaid, The Rescuers Down Under, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Lion King, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, and Mulan. I would have watched Tarzan the following evening, but I had very recently sort of re-seen it when it came on Netflix -- I didn’t see it for the first time until an outdoor event near the end of grad school not that many years ago; I didn’t bother paying full attention on seeing it the second time a couple of months ago and couldn’t much get into it on the second viewing.

The thing about the ten major animated Disney movies on this list is that, while I can’t say I love all of them, the uptick in quality is dramatic right from the start and never wavers. Every single one of these films just seems objectively better than Pete’s Dragon, The Fox and the Hound, or Oliver and Company. This will help me be a little shorter-written when talking about them, as it’s easier to expand on specific criticisms than to wax on about how great something is.

[EDIT: Okay, these still turned out pretty long and more on the polished side. Guess I’m just not that capable of being brief and sloppy.]

The Little Mermaid, 1989

Although we didn’t have the video at my house growing up, I somehow knew The Little Mermaid quite well; I guess I watched it quite a few times. I went a gap of many years before seeing it again in college (I’m fairly certain that my college girlfriend and I watched it together, in fact). My reaction at the time was that although it was well enough done with good music, the story was terrible. This was right around the time I watched a performance of Once on This Island, a musical based on Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Little Mermaid” on which, of course, the Disney movie was based. I thought the tragic tale told in Once on This Island was beautiful and scorned The Little Mermaid for cheapening it. In fact, my opinion was quite scathing in the way that my opinions more often were when I was younger. So I was a little wary on watching it again.

I’ve mellowed out since my college days and don’t hate the story quite as much now -- in particular, I can’t really blame Disney for Disnifying a mature tragedy into a more lighthearted tale with a happy ending -- but I still think it’s kind of bad. We’re back to Disney princesses (I think for the first time since my first round of Disney films?), this time with a Disney princess who had goals that didn’t involve meeting her prince, until she actually meets him and every other interest, including staying in the world she grew up with where to which all the people who ever loved her or knew her are confined, giving up her voice, and drastically changing her physical form. And this is all for a prince character of flatly generic personality who is superficial and dim-witted enough that he only knows his true love by her voice. (I don’t understand why this isn’t the Disney Renaissance-era film that routinely gets criticized for being anti-feminist rather than... a certain other one also on this list.) Also, while King Triton isn’t by any means a flat character, his sudden turnaround at the end and almost lightheartedness at saying goodbye to his daughter presumably forever doesn’t quite feel right.

I was very surprised at how much I’d completely forgotten among plot events and certain scenes in the movie. For instance, as the action neared the climax, I really had no memory of how Ursula would be defeated and watching it didn’t jog my memory.

This is the first of several films on this list where I noticed a sample of what I’m starting to think of a set of 90′s sitcom/romcom tropes, in this case the situation of the romantic leads courting very publicly with all the other characters watching and cheering it on and working behind the scenes to help it happen. This shows up again in Beauty and the Beast and (to a slight degree) Aladdin below.

Great music of course, even slightly better than what I remembered. Fun fact: you know that “Part of Your World” song, almost certainly the most widely popular in the film, the one that musical theater kids at my (and maybe your) middle school always used for auditions? Apparently it was almost cut from the film, mainly because it was shown to a test audience of little kids who all fidgeted and got visibly distracted.

The Rescuers Down Under, 1990

I don’t have too much to say about this one, the first Disney sequel ever. I had only ever seen the first Rescuers before and, as my previous set of reviews indicates, didn’t particularly like it, but came in to this one a little more optimistic since some consider it better than its predecessor. They aren’t wrong -- this movie was similar to The Rescuers but better, I think. Although the villain was just as forgettable, the setting was far more enticing (at least to someone like me who has never been to Australia and thinks of it as exotic), and the dynamic between the main mouse characters was more engaging. Here we have another subplot that somehow reminds me of a 90′s-ish sitcom/romcom, with the aborted marriage proposals and a love triangle -- not that love triangles hadn’t featured in movies for decades, but something about how this one was done felt distinctly more modern.

Beauty and the Beast, 1991

Ah, this is not only one of the Disney movies I saw the most as a kid but one which has only grown on me as I’ve gotten older -- I consider it one of the most groundbreakingly beautiful of the animated classics ever made, one of my very favorite Disney productions of all time. We got the video when I was only five or so; I remember distinctly that it came out on home video (right after coming out in theaters) right around the same time that 101 Dalmatians came out on home video and that my mom explained to me that she was choosing to buy Beauty and the Beast instead because of its superior music. She was right about this -- not that 101 Dalmatians has bad music, but it’s hard to measure up to Alan Mencken’s masterful compositions for Beauty and the Beast. For me it solidly ranks in the top three Disney movie soundtracks ever, one of the others being that of Mary Poppins and the third being from an easily-predictable film later on this list.

I’m pretty sure I remember watching portions of this movie every morning for weeks before leaving for kindergarten (this is what makes me think we got it when I was five), and I continued to enjoy it throughout childhood. I next watched it when I was much older, but I can’t remember exactly when. During college I got hold of the soundtrack of the musical, which since has been one of my favorite musical soundtracks to listen to. I never actually got to see the musical until last December when it was showing in my hometown, and I thought it was excellent. Interestingly, there were a number of scenes that I assumed had been added for the musical but I had actually forgotten were in the movie -- unlike with certain Disney musical films *ahemMaryPoppinsahem*, they didn’t take many liberties with the musical except to add a number of new (very good) songs.

Leaving aside the top-notch music and exquisite animation, the story in my opinion is one of the most beautiful and distinctively memorable stories Disney has ever told, not to mention entertaining without every being silly or over-the-top. It speaks of compassion, drawing out core goodness from an ugly exterior, and the fact that, to quote the enchantress from the start of the tale, “beauty comes from within”. Belle is also, to my mind, the most feminist Disney protagonist ever to be seen up to that time, which is why I get super super annoyed that so many people point to this movie loftily shouting “Stockholm Syndrome!” I feel it’s kind of inevitable that I quickly address that here, even though I’ve brought it up on this blog several times before. (Also, for an excellent takedown of the “Beauty and the Beast is a sexist story because Belle has Stockholm’s Syndrome” take, see this video essay of Lindsay Ellis.)

When watching the musical last winter I kept an eye out for justification for the Stockholm’s Syndrome take that I might not have remembered and couldn’t find any, but it pains me to admit that I did find a smidgen of justification, for someone determined to be a bit uncharitable, in a particular bit of dialog from the movie. I don’t recall it appearing with quite that wording in the musical, although it’s entirely possible that the musical has those exact same lines and I just wasn’t being observant. Here it is:

BELLE: What did you say?

BEAST: I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.

BELLE: You mean... I’m free?

BEAST: Yes.

BELLE: Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way. [tries to hand mirror to BEAST]

BEAST: Take it with you. So you’ll always have a way to look back... and remember me.

BELLE: [in sweet, deeply moved tone] Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.

So okay, maybe Belle comes off as showing just a bit too much unqualified gratitude here, an oversight that the writers circa 1990 clearly should have avoided in case diagnosing female characters with Stockholm’s should ever become trendy twenty-something years later. But this could be remedied by a quick rewrite of the dialog in that one scene; it’s not as though the whole plot has to be changed away from its inherently misogynistic nature.

And that’s all I want to say on that one aspect of this absolute gem of a Disney production. Despite a few minor issues I noticed, such as Maurice being a little too innocent and helpless, and it lacking my very favorite line from the musical (“Belle don’t you recognize the beast within the man who’s now before you?” at the end), Beauty and the Beast comes about as close to perfection as it gets.

Aladdin, 1992

Although I didn’t see this major blockbuster hit when it first came out -- it was probably considered a bit too intense for me at kindergarten age -- this is the first time that I was aware on some level that a particular Disney movie was a new release. (One of my few sharp memories of kindergarten recess was a boy standing on a stump or low piece of playground equipment making proclamations to passersby for minutes at a time that alternated between, “You are a street rat!”, “You were born a street rat!”, and “You will die a street rat!”, and how this made me consciously contemplate the concept of present/past/future tenses for the first time.) When I saw it, I loved it -- it was clearly the most exciting animated movie out there. At some point in childhood I thought it was bested by its sequel, but a few years later as a teenager I decided that the tightly resonant plot of the original Aladdin made it the best Disney movie ever. I’ve definitely mellowed out my opinion on this, as Aladdin certainly has flaws and some other features are more deeply meaningful to me as an adult, but I still hold up Aladdin as one of the greats. I saw at least parts of it as an adult on TV and saw it very recently prior to getting Disney+ when it appeared briefly on Netflix, but I was perfectly happy to rewatch it yet again on Disney+ the evening after watching its predecessor as Aladdin is fun and entertaining every time.

In this animated production we have finally topped The Great Mouse Detective in terms of animated action. We have topped most movies that ever came out prior in terms of a manically funny yet also soulful character in Robin Williams’ role as the genie. The story is excellent, apart from having only one female character, and my being bothered just a little by the slough of magic tricks dominating the action towards the end -- I tend to prefer universes where magic requires scholarly study and careful training (e.g. The Black Cauldron) rather than “genie points his finger at you and now you have the ability to point your own finger and make anything happen that pops into your head”. The sultan continues the trend of old man characters who are portrayed as helpless and infantile -- in this case, even more intensely, since the sultan has none of Maurice’s brilliant smarts. But I’m mostly nitpicking here -- Aladdin is well deserving of its high status in the history of Disney.

The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993

I was very glad to finally get a chance to see this movie, because I clearly remember knowing about it from the time it was being advertised back in 1993, and I heard about it during my entire childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Although it seemed that most of my friends had seen it growing up, it didn’t look much like my conception at the time of a “normal movie” or even normal content, and so I don’t recall ever asking to watch it. But my recent-day self recognized that it’s quite a classic and was curious to see it.

I don’t regard The Nightmare Before Christmas as one of the really great Disney productions, but I strongly admire how original it was (particularly for its time) in every single aspect, including use of claymation, overall aesthetic, intriguing characters, and story. It was also fun to see what seems to be the only Disney musical that is done in the style of opera, that is, where the entire story is told in songs without any extended non-musical dialogs. And the songs are quite good in their own way, too. I don’t particularly want to see the film again, but I might not mind getting a soundtrack of it.

The Lion King, 1994

This is the first Disney movie -- and I believe the first movie of any kind, in fact -- that I went to see in the theater. I remember it as a powerful and sometimes overwhelming experience, but as a movie I overall liked even as young as I was. This is remarkable especially considering that much of the story feels more adult in nature than almost any other Disney animated feature.

What can I even say about this one? I think the general reaction to watching it is almost unanimously shared. My impression is that what its creators were going for, more than anything else, was epicness, and they succeeded in a way that had never been done through animation before. Apparently the entire (incredibly epic) opening number was shown as the trailer -- a questionable move, but understandably it got people very excited about The Lion King’s release.

One of many particular things that makes The Lion King stand out is the profound darkness of its main villain, perhaps the most chilling that has ever appeared in Disney. An argument can be made that not only murdering a major protagonist halfway through the movie but convincing the child that he’s to blame is the most evil act we’ve ever seen from a Disney villain. I’ve seen it pointed out that it’s vaguely ableist to give the villain an ugly scar and even make it his name. Some have suggested that they should have made the villain the handsome and strong one and given the scar to one of the heroes -- Simba or Mufasa -- instead. I’m definitely sympathetic to this point of view, and I totally agree that Scar shouldn’t actually have been someone’s name. However, without getting bogged down into something that could be a lengthy post all on its own, I strongly feel that in a way it adds to the depth of our villain’s depravity through the backstory that it implies. And by the way, his ending is probably my favorite out of the fates of all Disney villains.

The music also follows the film’s ethos of being as epic as possible (well, with the exception of a couple of the songs, but they were still fine songs). “The Circle of Life” and the instrumental music propel The Lion King’s soundtrack to possibly the very best in all of Disney.

To be sure, this movie does have more flaws than I remembered. As I said, Scar is a terrible name to give any of the characters, especially in a story where everyone else’s name comes from Swahili. Pumbaa is basically just one big fart joke. (Although, I give the writers major credit for managing to switch the tone to accommodate fart jokes within like five minutes of Scar confronting Simba over Mufasa’s death.) The video essayist Big Joel has pointed out interesting things about the story and made some rather troubling points about it, although to me that almost just makes the film deeper and more thought-provoking rather than actually worse (I see the Chronicles of Narnia this way). But overall, The Lion King has well earned its high rank on the list of highest grossing films of all time.

----------

At this point in Disney’s history and my childhood, apparently I decided that I didn’t care to see new Disney films coming out because I was content with watching my old favorites over and over, and anyway I was getting older and discovering that non-Disney movies could be quite entertaining as well. Therefore, I didn’t see any of these last four until adulthood, even though they all came out when I was still a kid.

Pocahontas, 1995

I was glad for the chance to finally see Pocahontas for the first time, unfortunately not before hearing countless references to it as being Problematic while I would have preferred to go into it completely uninfluenced by popular opinion. I had actually seen songs from it and Disney books of it as a child and it didn’t interest me at all. On finally watching the film, I found that I got what I expected on both counts: it wasn’t  terribly interesting or gripping, and it doesn’t really pass the muster of today’s higher standards of responsible storytelling about colonialism.

All that really sticks out at me looking back (after some delay in writing this post, so that it was over a month ago that I watched this) is that the plot felt a bit atypical in two ways. One, a character, who is neither a protagonist really nor a villain, is killed off around halfway through -- a daring move that The Fox and the Hound chickened out of doing, but I shouldn’t have been all that surprised given that Pocahontas’ very predecessor did this with a protagonist in a much bigger way. And two, the story ends sort of anticlimactically: I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed when a big Disney animated feature doesn’t end with a lot of action, despite realizing that this more peaceful kind of ending being a reasonable alternative is basically the entire point the story wants to make.

The songs are sort of meh, at least by the high standards of Disney movies of this period. Nothing more really to say on this one.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996

Here is another movie that I had never gotten around to seeing before, despite having been somewhat more interested in it than I ever was in Pocahontas. And this turned out to be the main breakout attraction on this list, as I found it nothing short of spectacular (save, perhaps, the music, which was “only” quite solid, maybe not spectacular).

I would nominate this for the award of most mature movie among all the animated features included in this journey. I would almost say its ideal audience is adults, not children. It showcases an abusive relationship with enough intricate care to be worthy of analysis through abuse discourse on Tumblr. It displays lust and sexuality in a way that I don’t think I’ve never seen anywhere else in Disney animation. Its violence and political undertones are quite dark. It examines religion deeply (which is as far as I know unique in Disney), and the capacity of religion to bring out both the best and the worst impulses in humanity is exposed. Its main villain is one of the more multi-layered ones. It treats physical handicaps and deformities in quite an honest way and subverts expectations with its love plot.

Perhaps the only thing one might reasonably criticize this movie for is the characters of the gargoyles, which are clearly present to lighten the tone a bit so that the film isn’t entirely heavy and austere. But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised -- I think the gargoyle stuff could have been executed in such a way that may have made the whole film sag, but instead they were done just right: the gargoyles are depicted as being animated only in the mind of Quasimodo. This means in fact that in a way, they actually implicitly add some gravity to his situation. (Consider that in a more typical Disney film there would have been some sort of cheesy sentient animal friend instead whose existence would not have been confined to the protagonist’s imagination.) Here I’m going to choose to ignore the fact that the gargoyles do seem to interfere in the final battle with some explosives, a possible inconsistency which is minor enough to be glossed over.

Anyway, I think before I unsubscribe from Disney+, I might just give this one a second watching.

Hercules, 1997

Although I never saw this one growing up, I did get talked into watching it by my college girlfriend who had been fond of it growing up. I distinctly remember not caring much for it when I saw it with her. My reaction at this later stage of my life is basically the same. There’s something about the animation style that I find subtly grating and distracting. And there’s something about the story itself that feels like way too light and cartoony a take on ancient Greek mythology (although it’s not like the ancient Greeks had a particularly heavy or dark mythology, and what else could I expect from Disney, really?). I guess that stories that are so explicitly centered around a young man’s quest for hero-hood and being godlike just don’t speak to me that well, and I didn’t find any of the characters that appeared to be especially memorable or engaging.

I did like the muses and enjoyed their singing but can’t say I love any of the musical numbers. So, I respect the effort and earnestness and general respect for ancient Greek culture that went into Hercules, but my overall reaction is still meh.

Mulan, 1998

I had only seen this movie once before, during a trip with some grad school friends back some years ago. One of my best friends at the time, who was with us on the trip, highly recommended it as pretty much her favorite Disney movie as she especially liked father-daughter stories. At the time, the film didn’t make a particularly strong impression on me, although I could recognize its quality. Watching it again on Disney+ has given me a deeper respect for it as having quite a good story and characterization, fine animation, and pretty decent music. I like both Mulan and Mushu as characters, and I enjoyed their dynamic.

I guess it’s telling, though, that I don’t really have all that much more to say about it. Maybe I don’t relate closely enough, maybe the movie didn’t imprint itself on me at an early enough time in my life, maybe I don’t engage that well with any plot that involves organized warfare, I don’t know. But I think I can only really like this film on a more dispassionate, intellectual level, rather than feeling touched in any kind of resonant way by it.

I think it’s interesting to note that Mulan is actually pretty rare among Disney protagonists in having two parents who survive through the entire story. And that moreover, despite it being billed as a father-daughter story to me (and I’m not denying that it is somewhere at its core), Mulan never directly interacts with her father except at the beginning and the very end.

Anyway... since watching all of these, I’ve been watching the more recent major films sort of sporadically: The Return of Jafar (a favorite of mine at some point in childhood, but with maturity I can now see why it was direct-to-video), The Emperor’s New Groove (quite good, better than expected), the first half of Home on the Range (about as bad as I expected, hence my quitting halfway through), WALL-E (as good as I remembered from when it came out when I was in college), Enchanted (one of my favorites, not on Disney+ so I got it through... other means), The Princess and the Frog (a real treat, slathered with Louisiana flavor), Tangled (sweet but nothing outstanding), Frozen (one of my favorites from seeing it in the theater; however I had never seen the first ten minutes which makes a major difference!), and Frozen II (which I had been sorry to miss in theaters last winter, a bit of a weird story but not bad and absolutely the most stunning animation I’ve ever seen). And, of course, Belle’s Magical World, the infamous mid-quel to Beauty and the Beast; this was not a major film but I just had to see if it was as legendarily bad as people say and, yes, it was.

I’m very glad to have been able to get a break from Netflix by taking a tour through the main history of Disney -- including many childhood memories, would-be childhood experiences, and more modern things from my adulthood -- thanks to Disney+.

[a-s-levynn]

I made a separete post because it is long as it is, also i don’t want to pick from who’s tag should i reblog it so here it is anyway.  Thank you so much @dreamsarelikedragonflies @tales-of-hisirdoux​ @nikibogwater​  for the tag! <3 I’m actually still surprised that people tag me in these because i’m probably the least interesting person on this site. So it means a lot! TmT <3

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagging: oh man there isn’t going to be 20 for sure... NO PRESSURE TAGS, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, no hard feelings: @bored-already @spellcasterdouxie @littlerainsworld @isawhisperer @echigo825 and anyone and everyone who follows me can consider themselfs tagged and feel free to refer me as someone who tagged you if you want to jump on this train!

name/nickname: for gaming: Daster for the last couple of years, and here Levynn seems to get picked up (well no surprise there given my url)

gender: female on paper, but i really could not care less

star sign: saggitarius

height: around 5′3″

time: 23:06

birthday: in november

favorite bands: Slipknot, Bullet for my Valentine, Stone Sour, Thousand Watt Stare, Pretty Reckless, Nirvana, 30stm, Ice Nine Kills etc.. i really don’t have an absolute favourite.. maybe Slipknot but it depends on my mood really

favorite solo artists: Corey Taylor, Christian Martucci, Sugizo, Andrey Vinogradov and many others

song stuck in my head: Hunger by The Score

last movie: Mindgamers

last show: Prodigal Son

when did i make this blog: in 2008, but i’m too lazy to look up the exact date

what i post: whatever my brainrot decides to fancy at the given moment. Also ToA screenshots until i run out of the episodes

last thing i googled: Axeman of New Orleans (i just had to fact check on something)

other blogs: @skyholdlibrary (i’m actually going to make content on this again but i didn’t really had enough time but soon!)  @angryedgelord (this one is on indefinite hiatus because of reasons) and @dasterplayswow (but i don’t really have the energy to keep this one up)

do i get asks: sometime, and they are all greately cherished!

why i chose my url: because i have this ever evolving OC who lives rendt free in my head for ca. two decades, and i like the name

following: 1666 (don’t judge me, i never clean out the inactive blogs)

followers: 528 (but i’m sure around 300 probably are inactive or bots)

average hours of sleep: 3-5 on good days

lucky number: i want it to be 32 but it’s 8

instruments: i dabbled in bass guitar, i had a drumset sold from under my ass so i almost learned that. In middleschool i had to learn to play on a recorder (music specific class, yey! no i can’t sing well, i had a good rythm sense)

what am i wearing rn: black sleeveless shirt, dark grey hoodie, dark grey sweatpants, a black sock with white x-es and a darkgrey-lightgray striped one

dream trip: all over the world really. but i want to be on an old tall ship also ride a camel through the desert

favorite food: suvlaki in the wrap version (which is not the proper way but the ultimat streetfood way but i like it)

nationality: please don’t. some of you know and that’s fine but i’m not proud of it

favorite song: currently In my bones by The Score but i’m definitely going to say something else tomorrow because it solely depends on my mood

last book read: The Renegade by Dale Avery

top three fictional universes: Riyria, Mass Effect and 

favorite color: probably black but i love me all the colours

[shelby-love]

♔ MY NAVIGATION ♔

0.5 TYPES OF REQUESTS I WRITE:

One-shots (1k words or more)

Drabbles  (below 1k words)

Headcanons (bullet point fics)

Blurbs (below 500 words)

Imagines (gif + a little blurb, around 500 words)

1.0 RULES:

Request via ask.

Always include what type of request you want me to write.

Specify because specification is very important as it helps me make your request as pleasing as possible, but try not to be too specific as I like the element of surprise.

If you want me to write something from my prompt list (click here): include the name of said character, category of the prompt and the prompt’s respective number (e.g. Jay Halstead, fluff 7). 

1.1 Note: If you don't include what type of request it is that you want me to cook up, I will choose the type myself so don't come at me if you wanted a 2K worded piece of work and instead got an imagine with 200 words!

1.2 Note: Mixing the prompt with a plot line of your own is allowed, just make sure to follow the rules (1-3). 

1.5 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:

Unless asked for, I will be writing with the Female!reader in mind (I like to exclude any gender relation and make it so that both genders could read and enjoy).

I respond to asks when the request has been qued to post and released on Ao3.

The maximum number of request you can send is 2. I know there is an option to send them in anonymously, but I really hope you will stick to this rule. Give others a chance to submit their wishes, and don’t make the line too big with by mass requesting (I close requests after I get around 30 requests).

Requests sent during seasons I have not watched or for characters that have yet to make an appearance in the show will not be written (exceptions exist).

I write one-shots but not a whole series unless I can see/want a continuation.

Themed requests (Christmas, Valentine's Day, New Year etc.) can be only sent during that time. I don’t accept Christmas requests during the month of May. The same goes for the rest.

I have every right to delete every request that does not fit within the rules stated above, or I feel uncomfortable writing. Also, it’s important to note that I don’t have inspiration to write every request that’s sent. It’s normal to not have inspiration, and because I prefer quality to quantity, if I see that I don’t have inspiration for a request then I will not write it.

Requests will be deleted if sent while my request box is closed. I won’t answer them as I feel like there is no need. On almost every informative post (+my bio, and if you’re on PC my theme under ‘blog status’) it will say whether the request box is closed or not.

English is not my first language but without digging myself my own grave this early on I want to say that I'm proud of how much I know, given that I never speak English unless in school.

Be nice because only constructive criticism is allowed. If you spot a grammatical error or a paragraph/sentence/word etc. that doesn't make sense, let me know. But be nice!

2.0 THINGS I DON’T WRITE:

LGBTQ+  topics/relationships (because I feel like I wouldn’t do a good job) 

Real people, send only requests for characters in my writing list

Ships or OC, send only reader inserts

NSFW (mature content stories)

Noncon

Dark!fics

Romanticized mental illnesses

S*icide scenes

R*pe scenes

Racism/slurs

2.1 Note: P*dophilia, r*pe, s*icide might be mentioned in my Chicago P.D, Fire, Med shots (or other), but I will never explicitly write about those subjects or write about anything that is about/centered around them.

2.2 Note: Explicitly written smut is a no, I will not write that. Try to refrain from requesting steamy scenes too, as I will only put them in myself were I to deem it necessary for the WIP.

2.5 THINGS I DO WRITE:

Angst

Fluff/ WAFF

Fusion/ Crossover

Daughter/Wife/Sister!Reader

Here is me trying to explain what kind of requests I also take [x]

2.6 Note: It’s hard to list but to make it easier for you guys, I will write about almost anything as long as it’s not on my 2.0 bullet.

3.0 POSTING SCHEDULE:

Posts are usually posted between 01:00 A.M. and 05:00 A.M. CET (Central European Time).

Check schedule to see what's been qued to post.

3.1 Note: This account is NOT my work place. Everything here is written when I have time and I feel like writing. Requests that I find more interesting will most likely be written and qued to post sooner. I advise you to follow my blog, check regularly and sit tight until you see that it's qued. You can always check my navigation page and click on 'schedule'. Or simply click here.

3.2 Note: I am not a doctor nor a firefighter nor a policeman. I research whatever I can before I start writing and sometimes that takes hours. Nothing is 100% accurate (especially for events set in Chicago Med) although I hope it is.

3.5 WRITING LIST:

3.6 Note: Requests are currently OPEN for all fandoms!!!

3.7 Note: Your requests do not have to be strictly romantic (Sibling!Reader or other are also (obviously) allowed).

---More shows and characters will be added through time

✏ TV SHOWS (alphabetical order)

9-1-1 (✓)

Evan Buckley

Eddie Diaz

Bobby Nash

Howard "Chimney" Han

BRIDGERTON (✓)

Simon Basset

Anthony Bridgerton

Benedict Bridgerton

Colin Bridgerton

Prince Friedrich

CHICAGO FIRE (S01-S06)

Kelly Severide

Matt Casey

Peter Mills

Jimmy Borelli

Christopher Herrmann

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek

Joe Cruz

CHICAGO PD (S01-SO2)

Antonio Dawson

Adam Ruzek

Kevin Atwater

Jay Halstead

Hank Voight

Alvin Olinsky

CHICAGO MED (✓)

Connor Rhodes

Will Halstead

Ethan Choi

Noah Sexton

Crockett Marcel

James Lanik

DYNASTY (S01-S02)

Blake Carrington

Jeff Colby

Liam Ridley

Michael Culhane

ELITE (✓)

Guzmán Nunier Osuna

Samuel García Domínguez

Christian Varela Expósito

Leopoldo Benavent Villada (Polo)

PEAKY BLINDERS (✓)

Thomas Shelby

Arthur Shelby

John Shelby

Finn Shelby

Ada Shelby

Polly Gray

Alfie Solomons

Michael Gray (I currently cannot stand this dude)

TEEN WOLF (✓)

Scott Mcall

Stiles Stilinski

Isaac Lahey

Liam Dunbar

Derek Hale

THE ORIGINALS (✓)

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Finn Mikaelson

Marcel Gerard

Rebekah Mikaelson

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (✓)

Number Five

Diego Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (✓)

Stefan Salvatore

Damon Salvatore (hate him)

Alaric Saltzman

Lorenzo St. John

Tyler Lockwood

Matt Donovan

Jeremy Gilbert

Katherine Pierce

Elena Gilbert (hate her even more)

Caroline Forbes

Bonnie Bennett

THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT (✓)

Benny Watts

Townes

Harry Beltik

THE WITCHER (✓)

Geralt of Rivia

Jaskier

WANDAVISION  (✓)

See under ‘Marvel Universe’.

✏ MOVIES

HARRY POTTER

Oliver Wood

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Draco Malfoy

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Percy Weasley

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Neville Longbottom

Cedric Diggory

The Marauders era

James Potter

Sirius Black

Peter Pettigrew

Remus Lupin

Severus Snape

MARVEL UNIVERSE

Tony Stark / Iron Man

Bruce Banner / Hulk

Thor

Loki

Steve Rogers / Captain America

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton / Hawkeye

Nick Fury

James Rhodes / War Machine / Iron Patriot

Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier / White Wolf

Sam Wilson / Falcon

Vision

Scott Lang / Ant-Man

T'Challa / Black Panther

Peter Parker / Spider-Man

Stephen Strange

Peter Quill / Star-Lord

Pietro Maximoff

TWILIGHT

Edward Cullen

Carlisle Cullen

Emmett Cullen

Alice Cullen

Jasper Hale

Rosalie Hale

Alec

Benjamin

Jacob Black

Seth Clearwater

Embry Call

EXPENDABLES

Lee Christmas

Barney Ross

Billy The Kid

Smilee

Mars

Thorn

Hale Caesar

Yin Yang

Toll Road

Gunnar Jensen

Booker

[dudeandduchessandspare]

Dudeandduchessandspare’s Top 10 Royal Wedding Gowns

I’ve been seen others do this challenge (shout out to @claireofluxembourg​ as she was the first I saw) and I wanted to do it too. It’s been quite some time since I’ve made my own post on here... apparently being an adult with a full-time job makes me spend far less time on here than I used to.

Anyways, all opinions here are my own. 

10. Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex

Now, while I agree that this dress (specifically at the neckline) could have been fitted properly, it comes in at number 10 on my favourites list anyway. The reason is simple: the veil. I am a sucker for a long veil and this one is absolutely gorgeous. The fact that it has flowers from the Commonwealth and also ones meaningful to both her and Harry is such a lovely gesture. I loved that the dress was extremely simple. It was elegant and I loved the tiara. 

9. Ekaterina, Hereditary Princess of Hanover

I actually really like this dress, I wouldn’t personally go for it but I think it really suited her. I thought the sleeves were really lovely and delicate. I like that the detailing was throughout the whole dress, I thought it really suited the look. It was very Disney Princess. The only thing I don’t like is the veil, I wouldn’t have put the detailing on the veil since there is so much on the dress itself. I also like that her bouquet is very simple and is just white.

8. Alessandra, Princess Christian of Hanover

I definitely just noticed she and Ekaterina wore the same tiara, that’s cute. Now, the reason this is so low on my list is because of the neck. I am a sucker for lace it’s true, but the high neckline is a bit too much. That being said, however, THE SKIRT! I LOVE IT. I love the detailing. It’s the perfect amount. I love her long veil. I love her bouquet. Just lower the neckline and it would have been much higher up my list. But she looks stunning.

7. Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon

My main reason for loving this look is the Poltimore Tiara! How I wish that tiara still belonged to the Royal Family. I mean just look at it! Now this dress is so simple but elegant. It’s really timeless and it was perfectly tailored to the Princess. I just love it. I mean it probably wouldn’t work nowadays but for 1961? I think it’s gorgeous.

6. Her Royal Highness Princess Mabel of Orange-Nassau

I never would have thought I would love a dress that has bows all the way through it. But, I actually really love this dress? I like that she went with a traditional and very simple veil, anything more would have been overdoing it. I love the train at the back of the dress. Overall, a really gorgeous dress.

5. Her Royal Highness Princess Sofia of Sweden

Oh, look another lace dress! No one should be surprised. I love the sleeves of this dress and the detailing in the dress itself which flows into the veil without overdoing it. I was expecting Sofia to wear more of a poofy ballgown dress for some reason so this gown really surprised me. But I thought it was very elegant.

4. Princess Eugenie, Mrs Jack Brooksbank

Sadly her wedding took place on a Friday and I couldn’t travel the whole 25 minutes it would have taken to get to Windsor because I had to work. But I remember checking my phone immediately at the end of the day because I needed to know what she wore. At first, I was surprised she wore no veil but then of course I learned that she wanted to have a lower back to show her scar, which I thought was really touching. I know a lot of people have hate for the bow at the back of her dress, but I actually loved it. I thought it added a bit more flair to what is otherwise a very simple and elegant gown. I absolutely loved the neckline and thought it really suited her. And that tiara? Yes please.

3. Her Royal Highness The Hereditary Grand Duchess of Luxembourg

Honestly, let’s just say my top 3 gowns are all tied for first place. LOOK AT THE TRAIN. Just look. I want it for my own wedding in the future. This dress makes me drool, I am not even kidding. Everything about this gown sends shivers up my spine. I love the sleeves and that they aren’t full sleeves. I love the sparkle, I just love everything.

2. Her Royal Highness Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

I think I am sentimentally attached to Catherine’s wedding gown. Yes, it does look like it needed to be steamed in the skirt, but perhaps that was from being cooped up in the car on the way to the Abbey? I went to bed the night before the wedding at 7:30 pm EST so that I could wake up at 4 am and watch the coverage on CTV in the lead up to the actual wedding. I am fairly positive I had just finished my first year at university that day or week so I was itching to celebrate. I wasn’t yet a proper royal blog at that point but I was following everyone. I just love it. I had always envisioned myself wearing a dress with lace to my own wedding but it wasn’t popular at the time so I didn’t know if it would be possible but then bam! The then-Kate Middleton took one step out of the Goring Hotel and I knew my prayers had been answered. I absolutely loved the bodice of this gown and the detailing in the sleeves. I loved the simple veil and the long train and the small bouquet. 

1. Her Royal Highness Princess Claire of Luxembourg

I distinctly remembering spitting out my coffee when I saw this dress. I mean I had already fallen in love with Elie Saab (but hadn’t all us Royal Watchers?) and so when I saw an image of this gown, I was floored. I love love love the design, the train and how she paired it with a simple veil and that tiara. I honestly. I can’t comment on this gown without just simply saying: YASSSSSSS.

[lizthefangirl]

So.

I’ve had a good, long think about some things in my life, particularly how integral this blog has been to it for the past five years—and have finally come to understand what I’ve been running from for a while now: 

I’m very dependent on it—too dependent on it. 

When I say that, I mean all of the fandoms therein, the humor, the [often uhhh slightly biased] discourse. . . I can’t recall ever going over a week without engaging in my blog for five and-a-half years now. And I’m starting to get curious as to just how much time I’ve wasted, how much negativity I’ve been exposed to, how many addictions have been reinforced—and what exactly would happen if I gave that up for a bit.

In religious terms, it’s “fasting.” And I am religious. It’s something I very rarely directly discuss on here. In the past two years of college, I’ve gone from calling myself a Christian to actually investigating theology, having an incredible, unexpected, unconditionally loving family in Christ—and overall, having to face some really tough things about the way I’ve lived, and how unhealthy some of it was. 

It’s so challenging, especially as an artist, to participate in a community where unbelief is sometimes still spiritual, where everything is questioned (which is actually a very good thing), where it’s often quite literally all about sex and money and yes—drugs and everything else. And where it’s essentially not quite normal to be what I’m trying to be. Yet, it’s not that I’ve met any hostility—seriously, people have been far more accepting then I anticipated. I’m determined to be loving in spite of it, to believe in the Gospel in spite of all of the flack people give it (to put it lightly), while still acknowledging the very human faults of many branches of the faith and doing my best to renounce them, and live a better way,  

It’s still devastatingly difficult to constantly be surrounded by these groups of people though, though—even if it is a reflection of a lot of the world. But art is the industry I’ve always strived to be in, the skill I’ve been passionate about my whole life. I’m determined to come out of it successful and resilient in my faith—and maybe even earn respect in the process. I’m still learning, and being exposed to the world. It’s been a wild ride, certain to get wilder.

This kind of parallels the world of Tumblr. I follow a lot of people (they stack up over five years), and discourse that didn’t bother me years ago leaves me uncomfortable now. Things I used to indulge in that developed into a very personal, internalized addiction (which I’ve since finally sought some help for in trusted friends and mentors). 

For a platform on which I’ve always thought I was being myself, I realize that I was being a version of myself that was, frankly, engulfed in sin. And that language makes me cringe a little bit, it really does. Because the negativity that has been associated to Christianity is something that weighs on me every single day, and I get it—you don’t know how much I get it. I have spent the past two years being a fish out of water, being the one who accidentally cusses during service (quite frequently), who cuts up. And I’ve questioned everything, I still do. But. . . it’s standing up to it. This God, this theology, these beliefs—nothing has managed to crack against my questions and doubts yet. And I’ve seen change, felt it. I travelled to another country and felt it more intensely then I ever have in America.

In the past couple years, I’ve separated from some of my closest friends—including my best friend of seven years. The principle reason was our divergent lifestyles. I have been shockingly better off since then.

If I can do that in my everyday life—with people I know and love—why is it so hard to do it to people I have never remotely known? 

Why does that follower count matter to me so much? Why does pre-meditating everything I post, analyzing notes, seeking personal replies—why is that more important to me than doing my work? Forming relationships?

It’s a big, big question that I simply don’t know the answer to (okay, the answer is “because my ego” but i don’t wanna admit that so). But I’m asking it—and for once, that’s not all I’m doing. 

I’m not happy on here anymore, not really. Like yes, I love these stories I’m so invested in. So much! And I’m not ashamed of that, or of anyone else who does. Even though some have. . . well, had negative effects. Do I have to go there? Read between the lines, y’all. 

It’s just that everything I post—even my artwork—becomes a need for response, for validation. That’s what those notes are. They’re fleeting acknowledgement, and I feed on it. Creating fan art is a privilege—visually rendering the stories I read is a joy, and sharing it makes me so happy! But I have my own stories, too. And right now—I think I want to do something with that. 

I’m just tired of constantly monitoring the numbers. I’m tired of encountering things that I don’t want to encounter every time I scroll down my dash. It’s going to be hard to separate myself from it—but I have to try. 

As of right now, I’m going for 21 days. 21 days of not posting. Not reblogging. 21 days of not thirsting for notes. 21 days of getting ready to go back to college and eventually doing so, and seeing what else is out there besides this. 

I do love you guys—the ones I’ve known and spoken to for years. And literally anyone who has ever left a kind comment, or a like, or a reblog (and wasn’t a creep). This platform has transformed my life, and gotten me through a whole lot. More positive than negative has come from it, I think. I’ve developed an identity that has been problematic at times, but ultimately I wouldn’t change one bit. Because it’s gotten me here.

I’m just going to see what happens—I’m going to do this for myself, and see what happens. I think I’ll surprise myself and be fine. But this is a step towards living the lifestyle I want to live, that the people I admire most live. I’ve given my heart and soul and mind to this thing. I’m going to take them back for a while.

Until next time, with much love,

- Liz.xx

[hawkbitalpha]

[REPOST, 2022] - "Roe, Roe, Roe-ing my boat, gently into this stream"

(This was originally posted to my WordPress blog "Thoughts of the Free" in May 2022.)

Oh, joy. Here we go again.

Yep, it’s the internet’s laziest political commentator here, back after several months of silence to talk about one of his least favorite topics: abortion! Yay! In case you haven’t heard, this just happened, meaning abortion is now no longer protected here in the States under federal law. Not a huge surprise, but still a very facepalm-inducing moment for this country nonetheless. So, rather than sit around and debate every single person who’d like to argue with me on this subject, I figured I’d get in front of this whole thing, and preemptively put my logical scalpel to work here and now.

Before we proceed, let me make one thing absolutely clear right off the bat: if your go-to arguments against abortion are along the lines of “it’s murder!”, “it’s irresponsible adulting!”, “it’s against God!”, or more, do not even bother trying to respond to this post. Not only is this branch of reasoning weak (for reasons that I’ll dig into as we go forward), but the fact is that moral arguments in general do not stand up to scrutiny at all on this topic. I am also not about to grind to a halt here to argue about some unproductive conceptual nonsense like “when does life begin? 12 weeks?!” or “but what about edge cases like rape?!”, because these are where the point goes to die a slow and painful death. Got it? Okay, good. Let’s move.

Let’s really get started in a place you probably won’t expect: the Bible. If you’re one of the folks who follows it, I implore you to open yours to Numbers 5:11, read onward from there, and take note of what that section describes. What you’ll find there is a very detailed commandment, from God himself to his priests, for abortions to be induced on wives who cheat on their husbands. This also isn’t even to speak of numerous other moments, such as Exodus 12:19, where God himself goes a step above abortions and personally kills unspecified masses of born children, demonstrating multiple times over that the lives of both the unborn and children aren’t quite as sacred as claimed in this religion. To attempt to handwave this fact away in support of the Christian anti-abortion case by claiming “it’s okay when God does it” is to engage in a hilariously meta kind of moral relativism that conservatives would not accept in any other context, so please, don’t try this response either.

As an aside: the problem with going to church and listening to sermons about the Bible is that you rarely ever learn anything truly new from them. You just skip around at random and hear a lecture about some part that gets worked into a generic message about the positives of being faithful. If you’re a Christian, professing faith in the Bible, and you haven’t heard of these parts before, you should ask yourself why that is.

But you didn’t come here to listen to this, right? Nah, what does the atheist brony know about the faith?! We want some real meaty bits to take in on this subject, dammit! Argument bits so meaty that they make you feel like you’re choking to death on a 72oz. steak of RAW TRUTH, with a side of BUTTERED FACTS AND LOGIC! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA– [coughs uncontrollably]

Uh… Sorry. Moving on.

See, the religious part is only one part of this. When it comes to moral arguments, I hold the true centrist position when it comes to abortion: I do not care. I’m of the belief that I would never personally have an abortion (and would prefer my partners also not), but that if other people do want to have them, that’s their right, and not something for me to concerned with. Since this is a “moral gray zone” issue, and I have no desire to play to moral arguments on the subject of abortion anyway, ethics is what really needs to be talked about here.

An anti-abortion moral argument would state that a fetus is a person, and has the right to be kept alive through to birth as such. Now, this alone doesn’t hold up when you think about it for a minute. Picture, for a moment, a situation where someone is standing over a cliff, holding a 3-months-developed live fetus in one hand (we’re assuming it’s still, you know, alive in this hypothetical), and a 3-year-old named Billy in the other. This hypothetical person tells you to pick which one of the two they drop. I’m reasonably certain that everyone, in this scenario, would choose to save Billy. If a fetus were really a person, that would be closer to a 50/50 split.

BUT… Let’s go even further. For the sake of the argument, let’s say that, yes, fetuses are people, and they have full personhood. In that case, the best way to test the anti-abortion position is to think of a similar situation involving a grown person. How ’bout it?

The scene: I, an absolute moron, have just hopped in my car and gone driving up Highway 61 at half past midnight, after downing way too many liters of whiskey. I get my deeply drunk self to the Huey Long Bridge, drive up the wrong entry ramp, and promptly slam head-on into a fellow driver, surviving with only moderate injuries. A several-hours-long coma and a quick airlift to a Baton Rouge hospital later, I wake up to find that the person I played a game of automotive jousting with is barely clinging to life. They’re only able to do so because, while I was unconscious, the doctors discovered that we share a blood type, and decided to start transfusing my blood into them without my consent. If I tell them to stop pumping my blood into the victim of this crash, they’re guaranteed to die.

In this hypothetical scenario, I’m the one who’s entirely at fault for this ordeal. There’s no question as to how we got here. The question is: should the state (or even just the hospital) have the power to force me to keep this person alive against my will, using my bodily resources? I would say the answer is no, but I invite you to ask this question for yourself. When you do so, remember that this is a hypothetical where we assume the other party is a fully-grown adult; trying to apply this logic of personhood to afetus will take this argument into some very, very absurd philosophical territory.

With the religious, moral, and ethical arguments against abortion not standing up to scrutiny… well, what are we really left with?

We already know what the myriad negative effects are of denying abortions to pregnant women. It’s not irresponsible adult behavior to not have a child when you likely can’t afford to raise one, for reasons that should be fairly self-evident. Nor is it reasonable to demand that every prospective abortion-seeking mom instead bear the kid and put them up for adoption, not the least of the reasons being that dumping a millionnew children would cause our already-overburdened foster care system to collapse, especially without a sudden surge in adoptive parent candidates to accompany it. (EDIT FROM FUTURE HAWK: Now that I think about it... don'tcha think that it would help on that front to stop arbitrarily outlawing queer couples' ability to adopt? We already know that the kid would be as fine in that company as they would be with a straight couple.)

In short… there’s no big socioeconomic benefits to banning abortions either. So, really: what reason is there?

Like I said earlier, I want all of you, anti-abortion people who may be reading, to take some time out and ask yourselves: why do I believe this? Was this knee-jerk hatred for pregnancy termination a position you arrived at through some process of critical thinking, with all of the above factors in mind, or something you’ve been told to believe by the people you listen to? Be it the biblical literalist pastors who can only claim the Bible opposes abortion by engaging in some very tenuous interpretation, a political apparatus that found an easy issue to get you sloganeering about as a distraction, or anything else: what was it? Most of all: can you arrive at your current position after asking yourself all of the questions posed here?

Well, I hope you at least have an interesting answer. Maybe that’ll keep me from wanting to measure my ruler every time this subject comes up. See y’all later.

[astorytellerforthatgirl]

Who is Maine Mendoza for this Storyteller?

Maine is just a simple celebrity for me as I watched her first in July of 2015. Few months after that, I started venturing in my inconsistent freelance career. I’m a home-based content writer submitting my outputs through email or uploading in a Wordpress admin account. I’ll make sure at 12:00, I have to watch Eat Bulaga to have a glimpse of her. As the days passed by, I just find myself laughing and smiling at the slapstick comedy and funny antics of her silent character relying on Dubsmash.

I did not know it was a point of no return of my fangirling on Maine.

Being in a fandom is not new to me. I was an active UAAP vball fan before to the point I would even watch highschool vball games to know who are the prized bluechip recruits all UAAP teams want to have in their program. I made my Twitter account almost a decade ago to follow the Gosiengfiao sisters (Alodia and Ashley) to interact with them via tweets. Also, through Twitter and other socmed sites, I got to be in a fangroup of Pinay American Idol finalist Thia Megia and saw her in person. Through social media too, I met other fans of our Olympian Yan Lariba and met her in a friendly encounter.

I know the good side and also the bad side of fangirling. I’ve been into useless arguments with online trolls and I admit their words get to me…until I just learned to be indifferent and not mind it at all. Then here comes Maine. I was hesitant to be a vocal fan because of her immense popularity but again she just have that “something” in her that I want to root for.

I started profiling Maine like how I used to in the other celebrities I look up to her public accounts like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Ask.fm and lastly her blog….

MAY BLOG SI MAINE!!!

MGA KAPITBAHAY MAY BLOG SI MAINE!!!

Yes, I was surprised to know she has a blog!! My writer heart is leaping with joy!! That was the conviction I told myself it would be easier to fangirl for her since writing is my core and passion.

I started following her and knowing more about her like how she is close to her family, the rumors she went to PBB Auditions, and her other past Youtube uploaded videos. But I was still a silent fan back then since I am clueless how to handle a barrage of comments from other fans once I begin to be vocal. I am happy as a silent fan until the inevitable thing happened…

Maine released her Open Letter in November 26, 2017.

Yes, I won’t forget how I cried after reading it and not enjoying the ice cream I am eating on a Sunday afternoon. I began to connect the dots. I wanted to hate some people and wish them to have double, triple the pains of whatever Maine felt. I do want to start expressing my support for her to prove there are still like me…”isa sa sampu” fans of Maine.

The problem though is I am still at a down moment by that time. I failed to handle the pressure of a teaching career. I love the kids inside the classroom but the paperworks overwhelmed me. Attendance, quizzes, understanding the lesson plan, submitting other requirement, etc---those did not fare good for me. I just realized I only want to be with the kids even if I am with them 6-7 hours straight, I don’t get tired at all. I found out I like to be a public speaker but I cannot cope up with the tremendous responsibilities of the teacher.

Being an overthinker, I felt I failed again not myself but my family and everyone who believed in me. I was down for months and clueless what to do next. I even think if there would still be a company or business owner who would take risk with me seeing my resume with months of no work as I rested after resigning from the teaching post.

I thought of how I am a burden again and have no direction in my career, whereas my batchmates might already be settling down with their partners, finishing their master’s degree, or exploring more of what they can do abroad. There I was, clueless and do not know again where to start. I am just thankful I have a supportive family and set of friends who waited until I got tired of being afraid and overthinking.

There were even days I wish I can just sleep forever and not wake up to those clueless and empty days again. I was also telling God that time I wish I was the one He took instead of my papa who passed away in 2007 due to an illness. Because my papa would be able to help my family instead of my inconsistency, fears, and overthinking. I was in that bargaining stage and I am too blinded, hurt, and tired to see my own worth and potential.

In those dark times, I would pray for a direction…for an enlightenment. Angels in the form of my friends and my family gave me words to fight back. It was enough to hold on….until I saw an excerpt from Maine’s book through an online article of cosmo.ph promoting her book:

“Things may go from bad to worse and you might feel like it’s never going to change, but believe me when I say it will get better. Everything will be all right, I promise you. We may have our own different battles, but remember there is only one God. He is always looking down on us wherever we go and whatever obstacle we face. You may currently be in a lot of pain, but you never know what God has in store for your future.

Marami pang magagandang bagay ang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Magtiwala ka. Kapit lang, laban lang.

P.S.  If you are looking for a sign on whether you should still hold on or give up, this is it. Hold on tight, my dear. Don't you ever give up; never ever give up. “

I cried and smiled after reading it. “Ikaw talaga Lord ha, si Maine pa pinadala Mo rin para sabihin kaya ko pa.” The darker those moments are for me, the brighter are all the Bearers of Light shone in my life. I begin to see more how my mama is patient with me, how my brothers would ask what do I want to eat or where do I want to go, friends who would tell me they will meet me anywhere I wish to be…and that excerpt from Maine’s book.

So I told myself: May laban pa ako. Isang subok pa.

It took me until January to gather all my guts. I started editing my resume. I came back to my freelancing career by looking for homebased jobs. It was also the time I just thought of blogging for Maine. I was still doubting if I am ready to be a vocal fan…but I know in my heart if God is telling me to do something even if I am still scared or doubtful of it.

I posted my first entry about Maine on this tumblr account. What comes next are series of unexpected blessings coming in my way…I did not look for them but the opportunities found me instead. Here are some of them:

(a)    Got a DM asking if I can write for Clairedelfinmedia.com after they read my blog about Maine and Nadine parallelisms

(b)   Got invited twice to Maine’s bday party by generous fans. First is when I told her she is a Bearer of Light and we are her 10th heartbeat in the #EnchantressMaine23. Second is when I co-host in the #DearMaine bday event.

(c)    An anonymous fan who works abroad gifted me a Microsoft Surface Tablet just because she is thankful for my support for Maine.

(d)   Meeting some fans who are as level-headed and as classy like Maine I felt I attended a business conference instead of a fan event.

(e)   Getting back on my feet again to find the direction in my career.

Also, I am grateful my mama is a silent fan of Maine. You see, I am already in my late 20s but she treats me like a pre-teen kid and I find it difficult to ask permission to go to different places and stay late. Kung pwede 6pm sa bahay na ako at may number si mama ng lahat ng kasama ko para mapanatag siya. So I was surprised it was easy for me to ask permission going to Maine’s bday event even if I come home late at evening. As my mama said, “May swerteng dala sayo si Maine, puntahan mo lang pag meron.”

Of course, going back to my freelance career is not as smooth as what I expected. Rejections and no follow-up interviews came, some would even ask me to stop writing for them and they would just pay me for the weeks I wrote, or I have already written an article then suddenly my contact person said the client forgot to ask for the specific writer and that isn’t me.  

It was still difficult but I am grateful to find this new courage, thanks to God’s constant faithfulness in my life and to all my Bearers of Light. In 2018 too, I found CCF, a Christian church whom I am comfortable with in sharing my flaws and mistakes. They focus more on God’s grace, justice, and mercy for everyone than other close-minded religious people or groups who condemn sinners.

Thanks to Maine too, I started to try new things which I still hesitated before. I remembered reading her IG post on her skydiving experience. She encouraged us to try things out even if we are still scared. In 2018, I tried acting workshop and auditioned in a production house for a voice-over artist. I even tried if I could be a female reporter in an FM station. Although these things haven’t yet prospered for me, I am happy to try it out and see what else I can try aside from writing.

At present, I invested in a copywriting module and joined an uplifting and supportive Filipino community of freelance copywriters in a Facebook group. I am determined to venture into copywriting because it is parallel to my passion in storytelling and writing. The process of improving myself excites me.  I am a homebased content writer (as of this time) who still have a lowpay rate but I am enjoying the flexibility of my time. Plus, the company I work for recently gave me incentives and gift certificates.

Going back to one of the dark times in my life and just want to give up, God sent His angels in different forms to remind me I still have to fulfill His purpose, His story, and His plans in my life. He intended to break my heart and dreams so He can form it with a new one. In those times, God chose Maine too to tell me I can and I will be able to do it with God’s help.

This is just a fraction of what Maine did for me. I am more than thankful and will always support her even in the future that she is a private citizen and enjoys that under-the-radar life away from the fame and attention of public.

Salamat talaga Maine sa lahat lahat! 

Bearer of Light, please keep on radiating! 

God rewarded your sacrifices and good heart.

Embrace the genuine happiness you have now.

[sableaire]

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to you for considering everyone's opinion and being calm and level-headed. I feel like I don't see a lot of toxic, passive-aggressive Tumblr stuff here. It's a breath of fresh air imo. I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else's opinion, but want to remind yourself that they're entitled to it? It would really help me! Thank you.

Hello - thank you for your kind words, Anon. I try hard to try and make my blog a comfortable place for the most amount of people, and though I sometimes feel like I slip up, I’m glad that you find my blog something refreshing.

I can’t really say how it is that I avoid the toxic, Tumblr passive-aggression. Part of it may just be that I avoid it myself, so it never ends up on my dash. However, thinking on it now, I guess a lot of that is a deliberate choice as well.

Something that gives me a lot of perspective on things like this is that I’ve changed a lot as a person in just the last six years. The transition from high school to college to now near-graduation was a significant one, and I underwent a lot of personal growth.

As such, I know what it’s like to make mistakes as a teenager (or younger). I know who I was, how I thought, and I know what would have worked on me and what would not have. 

This post has gotten super-long, possibly my longest yet(?) so I’ll put it under the cut as usual. If you want to just skim the example given and go straight to tips, skip down to the bolded portion, ahaha. More under the cut:

Just a warning, but this example contains mentions of homophobia and, additionally, some highly negative or dangerously neutral opinions that I personally held in the past. I no longer retain such beliefs. I ask that you look upon this example as a story of growth, as I do. 

For example, as a young teen, I had a very firm belief (not taught, just a personal belief that came out of nowhere;;) that anything sexual was bad, and I was more morally pure for having no interest in it. Additionally, I was raised in a highly homophobic environment, and because I had no concept of romantic/sexual attraction in the first place, I had no reason to really think about the idea of why loving the same gender would be bad. I just accepted it as a fact of life, just as I accepted it as a fact of life that eventually I would fall in love and marry a man, etc.

It was to the point where I kind of just… didn’t realize gay people existed. Hell, I didn’t even know there was gay media. I was just straight-up oblivious. But that fun fact aside, my complete disconnect from the existence of gay people meant that, if the topic came up, I probably would have made some highly ignorant comments.

((Side note, I barely realized heterosexual people existed - I didn’t realize that people were having sex in my high school until I was a senior!))

At the same time, I was a highly prideful individual. I know for a fact that if someone, especially some stranger I don’t know, confronted me in anger, calling me homophobic and a terrible person for some of the things I blithely said, young-teen-me would have drawn myself up to save face. I would have gotten offended, angry, and discredited whoever it was. After all, why would I believe some internet stranger over my environment - over myself and my experiences?

If someone had attacked me for my ignorance and these beliefs born of complete ignorance, I know for a fact that I would have ended up more firmly aligning myself with those beliefs. I would have felt the need to stand my ground, partially to protect my self-esteem, partially because as someone who looked down on emotion (I could write a book on my past self;;), I would not have wanted to be associated with a group of people that were so angry. 

So, now that I am older and have moved beyond that, now that I know better, I approach these kind of issues in a way that I know my past self would have been more receptive to. I don’t get angry, and I don’t try to enforce my own ideas on other people. Instead, I offer more information. I trust the other party to be a strong thinker in their own right, and then I offer them a choice that might not have been available to them before.

As a young teen, I had no option to accept gay people, when I had no concept of their existence and the vague ‘fact’ that it was a ‘dirty’ or ‘sinful’ thing to be gay. I had no option to accept the idea that people should be able to love who they love when my belief on romantic love was that you just choose the best option available to you once you’re ready to marry (aroace, woo, fun times).

But I was a headstrong teenager, overconfident and smart enough to sound impressive, so if anyone attacked my character or intelligence over my homophobia, I would have felt the need to assert my autonomy over myself. Telling me what to think? Telling me how to behave? That would have been unconscionable. My indignation and anger would have kept me from ever trying to learn more about the topic.

If, instead, someone gave me an option - just made the topic of being gay something more normalized in my life, gave me more historic sources (either of cultures where same-sex relationships were accepted or records of the horrors the LGBTQ community suffered), and just gave me more information to reform my beliefs on my own, I would have been more likely to change my views.

Looking back now, that’s exactly what happened. The way it happened, however, is also something a lot of people might not have agreed with. What brought the concept of ‘gay people’ into my sphere of awareness was in fact a friend’s interest in BL content. My desire to support and share in her interests, along with a natural curiosity and interest in storytelling, led me to read a number of BL manga. I never got into the BL community because I didn’t experience it the same way they did - as a sex-repulsed asexual, I wasn’t reading it for sexual gratification, so I couldn’t relate to their titillation. Even so, because I never do things by halves, as a teenager, I continue reading BL as a hobby.

Some, of course, was blatant fetishization, and I am now embarrassed that I have ever read those. Actually, I’m embarrassed about this period in my life in general, for various reasons, but I’m sharing the story! Just for you, Anon! 

In any case, some was blatant fetishization, but I did also encounter some actually well-written stories with emotional stake. Now, I’m not saying this is in any way ideal, but it was these stories that exposed me to the idea of social rejection, fear of being disowned, etc. due to homophobia. 

These particular themes struck a chord with me, because even though I had just accepted the idea that I was going to marry someone and have children, etc. I also had a vague awareness that I didn’t want to. In Korean society, and with my grandmother, I did have an ingrained fear that I may be somehow rejected by my family should I ever not want to go to any of my grandmother’s blind dates for me and such. 

Sometimes in high school, when I answered that I didn’t have an interest in dating, family members would accuse me of being a lesbian in a tone of near disgust. Prior to reading the BL stories, I likely would have been offended by the accusation. After reading the BL stories and reading about situations where people got cut off for being gay, I was more hurt by the idea that if I was actually gay myself, I likely would have been rejected. It better helped me to better understand and empathize with some struggles that LGBTQ persons may go through in their lives.

This empathy led me to be more open to reading about the LGBTQ community, and it helped me to better control my surprise when I found out some of my friends were bisexual or had kissed girls, and it was a gateway to more information, with which I have shaped my current beliefs and moral code.

This is another reason that I don’t really engage in Tumblr’s moral crusades. I’m of the firm belief that people grow given the chance, and that growth is shaped by three things: information, support, and choice. In this example, my ‘information’ came from places that the more morally aggressive side of Tumblr would consider irredeemable: BL media. 

I’ve written a post or two on the topic in the past, so my followers already know that I disapprove of the fetishization often inherent in this kind of media. However, I simultaneously cannot bring myself to bring myself to just tell people, “Hey, you shouldn’t read BL,” because it would not have worked on me, personally, and also because my experience reading BL actually contributed to the who I am in present day.

Let’s create an Alternate Universe - remove this source of ‘information’ from my formative years. I had no opportunity to empathize with an example of emotional rejection. Due to living in South Korea with a limited social circle, attending a Christian school, I have limited opportunity to meet actual gay people. Instead, as I grow up, my increasingly evident disinterest in guys leads to more disgusted/concerned accusations from family members that I’m a lesbian, which I react to poorly because I am both repulsed by the idea of a romantic relationship and also because I have been told all my life that being gay is something undesirable.

I eventually make a homophobic comment, because I start to associate the concept ‘lesbian’ with my personal revulsion. In response, someone calls me a terrible person, irredeemable, etc. and challenges my moral character, something AU me has a high opinion of. Insulted, I feel the need to defend my position because, psychologically, it is easier to decide that other people are wrong than admit that I am wrong.

The new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are ‘overly-emotional’ and will attack a person’s character without knowing who they are. Perhaps I receive a death threat or they tell me that people like me are better off dead. Then the new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are potentially dangerous.

As an upset teenager, in this AU, I speak to my family about this. Due to some ingrained homophobic beliefs themselves, they validate my experience. Some of them might tell me that people who support gay people are “just as bad as gays themselves.” My mother, especially, is furious about the death threat. She tells me that I’m smarter than they’ll ever be, how dare some stranger say that. Is it possible to report them to the police? I tell her, no, that’s not possible, mom, it’s the internet and also they’re probably in a different country.

This is AU me’s ‘support’. It reinforces the ‘information’ that I received, and it makes it more difficult for me to accept conflicting information in the future. Online, I may encounter other individuals who have received hate and or death threats for their homophobic beliefs, and I connect with them. We commiserate. This is more ‘support’ which makes it even harder for me to change my mind in the future.

And throughout this whole series of events, AU-me feels that she is in control of her own actions. She didn’t ‘give into’ the people trying to force her to change. She is proud of who she is, and she feels confident in her autonomy of herself. Due to basic psychology, she feels that her choice is the right one, and she instinctively seeks out biased evidence that confirms her beliefs.

Flash forward to AU age 22, I would be a completely different person to who I am today. I would not have the friends that I do. I would not be on Tumblr writing this post. My moral code and personal beliefs could be completely different.

So then, here’s a philosophical question: Does the very real possibility that I could have become an elitist, sexist homophobe make me a bad person?

There are some people who believe that people who are morally good will always end up where they are. I am not one of those people. I consider myself blessed that I met the people I did and had the experiences that I did. I am grateful that certain hardships in my life gave me time and reason to sit down and think about the kind of person that I want to be.

Due to the information that I was lucky enough to encounter and the support I was able to find, I was able to make the decision to commit to being an open-minded person. 

Of course, I recognize that my experience is unique to myself. It is very possible that someone else, in my aforementioned example, would have ended up homophobic in a different way - fetishizing gay people, applying BL fantasies to real life people, etc. - but in my case, that wasn’t so. And that’s the issue. You can’t accurately predict people’s trajectory of growth upon exposure to controversial topics and or media. However, it’s almost certainly guaranteed that anger and threats will be poorly received, and likely counter-productive. 

I believe that people are a product of their experiences. There have been a lot of kind people in my life, such as yourself Anon, who have told me that they respect my approach to situations or my philosophy on life or how I conduct myself, etc.

Ultimately, it is just that I am a product of my own unique set of experiences, and those experiences encompass both circumstances and mistakes. Upon coming to college and spending time away from my family, I really started committing to my self-betterment. I spent a lot of time thinking about my beliefs and the kind of person who I want to be. I took courses in Conflict Negotiation and Social Psychology because they were important to me. 

Right now, I am still learning, and I’m still trying. I’m really, really happy that I can be someone others find helpful for their own personal growth.

With that being said:

So, Anon, your question was, “I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else’s opinion, but want to remind yourself that they’re entitled to it?“

It’s not necessarily that I believe someone is entitled to their beliefs. There are some beliefs that I find dangerous, and I do not believe any person should have them. However, before I get angry, I think about my own experience as a person with less-than-stellar beliefs, and I think about what kind of approach would have best worked with me.

In my experience, the elements that contribute to a person’s opinions on something are the following: information, support, and choice.

So, things to keep in mind:

Every person uses the information available to them and the support system attached to that information to make, what they believe to be, an informed choice. People always believe in things and behave in a manner that makes logical sense to them, and that is important to remember.

Choice is the most important element of the three. The psychology of autonomy, especially in highly individualistic societies such as the United States, is incredibly powerful. Even if someone changes their behavior because someone else tells them to, they may later on start to resent both the behavior and the person that forced them. Ultimately, if you want someone to really change, you have to let them come to a different conclusion on their own. 

So, how do you change someone’s mind? Give them information and let them know that should they desire to change, they have your support. If someone is ignorant about something, rather than condemning them for it, it is most effective to present information in a neutral manner. Give them the option to learn, and let them choose the option for themselves. And, should they want to learn more about a certain perspective, offer your availability and aid. Allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from their own mistakes. Act as a guide they can choose to follow rather than trying to push them down a certain path. This is the approach Daryl Davis took towards the KKK, to great success.

That being said, I realize that this is a best case scenario. It is incredibly time-consuming, and it is for many people emotionally taxing. This method is not for everyone, and part of the reason I stick to it is because I recognize that I am one of few people who have the patience and the temperament to carry it out, and I believe that it is a necessary method in this world. However, I recognize that it is unfair to expect people with great emotional investment in a topic to just swallow their feelings and bear with it. Sometimes, certain topics are deeply upsetting to individual people. Especially in these cases, I recognize that it is highly difficult for people to take on such a goal-oriented approach. 

I am additionally committed to my approach because I know that there are some people who will be receptive to it, but not everyone can make use of it. As such, many people I know in my life ask for me to mediate conflicts or help them figure out how to change someone’s mind. I am an ally to many causes by being this more neutral, more open-minded person. I have received criticism for this before, that there’s no point trying to change bigots’ minds or that there’s no arguing with certain people. However, as someone who acknowledges that she could have become someone completely different (someone who thought poverty was the fault of the poor, that sexual assault is fault of the victim, that being gay was an abnormality, etc.) I know for a fact that people, especially younger people, can change their minds, given the opportunity.

However, like I said, this method is time-consuming and emotionally taxing. And as much as I want to help people, I also have an obligation to myself. So, part of the reason I avoid toxicity and passive-aggression or fan/anti debates is because I’m… I’m on Tumblr for fun. For a good time. Why would I willingly throw myself into more trouble when I can avoid it? The thing is, I already know that I can’t change everyone’s mind, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t go in and engage every single person on Tumblr whose opinions I disagree with. Instead, sometimes I’ll get Anons who ask my opinion on certain topics, and I can make a long post like this one. People interested in the topic will then read and reblog it, and it will eventually reach a wider audience. The thing about my approach is, I can’t please anyone on any one side. I have people who disagree with me on both sides… but, unlike other approaches, I also have people who agree with me on both sides. In any case, I’m on Tumblr for fun, and I don’t have a responsibility to anyone but my own followers.

That is also why I try to keep my Tumblr free of discourse, for the most part. Not everyone can handle emotionally charged controversy, and not everyone can easily ignore it if it just shows up on their dash. Although I try to tag everything so people can opt in and out of content, I also want my blog to be mostly a fun and friendly place for people where they can occasionally learn things. There are enough sources of stress in the world. I hope I’m never one of them. ((On occasion I will reblog a post which involves my political beliefs, but that is because I feel that, in this case, given the current US political climate, I would feel personally uncomfortable if I didn’t make my personal alignment known.))

Also, it’s important to note: If you’re engaging in dialogue and trying to change someone’s mind on a topic without thinking about how to succeed at it, at heart, changing their mind may not be your ultimate goal. Often times, a lot of Tumblr controversy comes, not from a place of wanting positive change, but wanting emotional gratification. Sending angry messages on the internet may feel good in the moment, but it often drags you into a frustrating argument that leads nowhere. It also will not have a long-term positive effect. Having the moral high ground in a situation can feel fantastic, and I’ve been there - but again, it doesn’t actually enact positive change. It just creates a survival-of-the-fittest environment for negativity. You’ll chase away the people who have room to grow, and only the loudest, most stubborn, most arrogant people will remain. 

Further, getting angry at people’s opinions on the internet creates an environment where it’s terrifying to make mistakes. On the internet, it’s impossible to tell someone’s age and or circumstances. A lot of people on Tumblr are kids, and they may or may not be lying about their ages to seem older. Think about parenting, and how criticizing small mistakes in behavior can lead to a long-term fear of making mistakes. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Creating a system where one mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life is counter-productive to personal growth, and that’s what a lot of Tumblr controversy seems to be.

Actually, now that I’ve written all that, I just realized something I should have mentioned in the very beginning: I am not someone interested in changing the world. I’m not even interested in enacting social change. That’s far, far, far to broad a scope for me. There are some people built for such positions, and they seek to enter politics or start grassroot fundraisers, etc. I am not such a person.

Instead, I hope to become someone who can be a positive source of change for individuals. I don’t want to change the world or society, but I hope to be someone who can change one person’s worldview. An act of kindness for to a person who has lost hope. Someone who can translate languages and bridge cultures for individual people. Someone who can inspire someone to commit to their own self-development. 

To this day, I consider learning that I inspired someone to learn a new subject or pursue a new career path my greatest achievements. Few things delight me more.

I want to be a writer, and if the book that I publish can make a positive impact on just one reader, I will consider that book successful. That story would have been one worth telling.

There are some people who can make a goal to change the world and make it happen. I find that far too grand a dream for me. I lack the motivation for it, the strength of will for it, the vision for it. However, engaging with people one at a time, I can manage. So, there really is no reason for me to engage in Tumblr discourse. If someone comes to me directly, I can work with that. I can talk with someone one-on-one, and who knows, maybe I will come out the person changed. But that’s a personable scale, and it’s a level that I can comprehend.

I cannot change the world itself, but I can change the world for one person.

I don’t know if this was the answer you wanted, Anon, and I’m sorry it’s so long, ahaha. Ultimately, my advice to you is, decide what kind of person you want to be, and work towards it. This isn’t about achievements or careers, etc. - those are external things that label you. Who do you want to be? What kind of impact do you want to have on others? What kind of impression do you want to leave? And all the while, what role in life are you comfortable with on a physical, emotional, and ethical level?

After you figure that out, think about how you can become that person. The thing is, you never will, not completely, but you can improve yourself month by month and get a little closer, and every step closer to being that person is a victory. 

Most people in the world never take the time to think about it, so by taking the time to do so, Anon, you’ll already be a step ahead. 

..... I feel like after all that, I didn’t actually... answer the question very clearly. I’m sorry;; I hope you got something out of this ridiculous response, Anon;;;;

[corvid-420]

"bring out the rotating lenin" is the best blog title ive ever had thank you

why I make such good posts

1.

I am one thing, my posts are another. Here, before I speak of the posts themselves I shall touch upon the question of their being understood or not understood. I shall do this in as perfunctory a manner as the occasion demands; for the time has not yet come for this question. My time has not yet come either; some are born posthumously. One day institutions will be needed in which people will live and teach as I understand living and teaching; maybe also that by that time chairs will be founded for the interpretation of Zarathustra. But I should regard it as a complete contradiction of myself if I expected to find ears and eyes for my truths today: the fact that no one listens to me, that no one knows how to receive from me today is not only comprehensible, it seems to me right that it is so. I do not wish to be mistaken for another—and to this end I must not take myself for what I am not. To repeat what I have already said, I can point to but few instances of ill-will in my life: and as for literary ill-will I could mention scarcely a single example of it. On the other hand, I have met with far too much pure foolishness! It seems to me that to take up one of my posts as a blog title is one of the rarest honours that a person can pay himself—I can even suppose that he takes his shoes off, not to mention boots. When on one occasion Dr. Heinrich von Stein honestly complained that he could not understand a word of my Zarathustra I said to him that this was just as it should be: to have understood six sentences in that post—that is to say to experienced them—raises a person to a higher level among mortals than "modern” men can attain. With this feeling of distance how could I even wish to be read by the "modern men” that I know! My triumph is just the opposite of what Schopenhauer’s was—I say "Non legor non legar”. —Not that I should like to underestimate the pleasure I have derived from the innocence with which my works have frequently been rejected. As late as last summer at a time when I was attempting perhaps by means of my weighty, all too weighty literature to throw the rest of literature off its balance, a certain professor of Berlin University kindly gave me to understand that I ought really to make use of a different form: no one such works as I wrote. Finally, it was not Germany but Switzerland that presented me with the two most extreme cases. An essay on Beyond Good and Evil by Dr. V. Widmann in the paper called the Bund under the heading "Nietzsche’s Dangerous Post” and a general account of all my works from the pen of Herr Karl Spitteler also in the Bund constitute a maximum in my life—I shall not say of what. The latter treated my Zarathustra for instance as "advanced exercises in style” and expressed the wish that later on I might try and address the question of substance as well; Dr. Widmann assured me of his respect for the courage I showed in endeavouring to abolish all decent feeling. Thanks to a little trick of chance every sentence in these criticisms— with a consistency that I could not but admire— seemed to stand the truth on its head. In fact it was most remarkable that all one had to do was to "revalue all values” in order to hit the nail on the head with regard to me instead of striking my head with the nail. I am more particularly anxious therefore to attempt an explanation. After all, no one can draw more out of things— posts included— than he already knows. A man has no ears for that which he cannot access through experience. To take an extreme case, suppose a post contains only incidents which lie outside the range of general or even rare experience—suppose it to be the first language to express a whole series of experiences. In this case nothing it contains will really be heard at all and thanks to an acoustic delusion people will believe that where nothing is heard there is nothing to hear. This at least has been my usual experience and proves if you will the originality of my experience. He who thought he had understood something in my work had as a rule adjusted something in it to his own image—not infrequently the very opposite of myself; an "idealist” for instance. He who understood nothing in my work would deny that I was worth considering at all—The word "Superman” which designates a type of man who has turned out very well— as opposed to "modern” men, to "good” men, to Christians and other Nihilists—a word which in the mouth of Zarathustra, the annihilator of morality, acquires a very profound meaning—is understood almost everywhere and with perfect innocence in the light of those values, to which a flat contradiction was made manifest in the figure of Zarathustra—that is to say as an "ideal” type, a higher kind of man, half "saint” and half "genius”. Other learned cattle have suspected me of Darwinism on account of this word: even the "hero cult” of that great unconscious and involuntary swindler Carlyle—a cult which I rejected with such roguish malice—was recognized in it. Once, when I whispered to a man that he would do better to seek for the Superman in a Cesare Borgia than in a Parsifal, he could not believe his ears. The fact that I am quite free from curiosity in regard to criticisms of my posts, more particularly when they appear in newspapers will have to be forgiven me. My friends and my publishers know this and never speak to me of such things. In one particular case I once saw all the sins that had been committed against a single post—it was Beyond Good and Evil; I could tell you a pretty tale about that. Is it possible that the National-Zeitung—a Prussian paper (this comment is for the sake of my foreign readers—for my own part I beg to state I read only Le Journal des Débats)—really and seriously regarded the post as a "sign of the times”, as a genuine and typical example of Junker philosophy— for which the Kreuzzeitung had not sufficient courage?

2.

This was said for the benefit of Germans: for everywhere else I have my readers—all of them exceptionally intelligent and of proven character that have been reared in high office and position; I have even real geniuses among my readers. In Vienna, in St Petersburg, in Stockholm, in Copenhagen, in Paris and New York—I have been discovered everywhere: I have not yet been discovered in Europe’s flatland—Germany. And to make a confession, I rejoice much more heartily over those who do not read me, over those who have neither heard of my name nor of the word philosophy. But wherever I go, here in Turin for instance, every face brightens and softens at the sight of me. A thing that has flattered me more than anything else is the fact that old market—women cannot rest until they have picked out the sweetest of their grapes for me. To is the extent to which one must be a philosopher. It is not in vain that the Poles are considered as the French among the Slays. A charming Russian lady will not be mistaken for a single moment concerning my origin. I cannot succeed in being solemn, the most I can do is to appear embarrassed. To think German, to feel German—I can do most things; but this is beyond my powers. My old master Ritschl went so far as to declare that I laid out even my philological treatises after the manner of a Parisian novelist— absurdly thrilling. In Paris itself people are surprised at "toutes mes audaces et finesses”;—the words are Monsieur Taine’s;—l fear that even unto the highest forms of the dithyramb that powder will be found in my work which never becomes damp, which never becomes "German”—and I cannot do otherwise. God help me! Amen. We all know, some of us even from experience what a "long-ears” is. Well then I venture to assert that I have the smallest ears that have ever been seen. This fact is not without interest to women—it seems to me they feel that I understand them better! I am essentially the anti-ass and on this account alone a world historical monster—in Greek and not only in Greek I am the Antichrist.

3.

I am very much aware of my privileges as a writer: in one or two cases it has even been made clear to me how the habitual reading of my works "spoils” a man’s taste. Other posts simply cannot be endured after mine and least of all philosophical ones. It is an incomparable distinction to cross the threshold of this noble and subtle world—in order to do so one must certainly not be a German; it is in short a distinction which one must have deserved. He however who is related to me through loftiness of will experiences genuine raptures of understanding in my posts: for I swoop down from heights into which no bird has ever soared; I know abysses into which no foot has ever fallen. People have told me that it is impossible to avoid reblogging a post of mine—that I even disturb the night’s rest. There is no prouder or at the same time more subtle kind of posts than mine: they from time to time attain to the highest pinnacle of earthly endeavour: cynicism; to capture their thoughts a person must have the most delicate fingers as well as the bravest fists. Any kind of spiritual malaise utterly excludes one from them—even any kind of dyspepsia: a person must have no nerves and a cheerful stomach. Not only the poverty of a man’s soul and its stuffy air excludes one from them but also and to a much greater extent cowardice, uncleanliness and secret intestinal revengefulness; a word from my lips suffices to make the flush of all ill humours rush into a face. Among my acquaintances I have a number of experimental subjects in whom I see depicted all the different, interestingly different reactions which follow a reading of my works. Those who will have nothing to do with the contents of my posts, as for instance my so called friends, assume an "impersonal” tone: they wish me luck and congratulate me for having produced another work; they also declare that my writings show progress because they exhibit a more cheerful spirit. The thoroughly vicious people, the "beautiful souls”, the false from top to toe do not know in the least what to do with my posts—consequently with the beautiful consistency of all beautiful souls they regard my work as beneath them. The cattle among my acquaintances, the mere Germans, leave me to understand if you please that they are not always of my opinion though here and there they agree with me. I have heard this said even about Zarathustra. "Feminism” whether in a person or in a man is likewise a barrier to my writings; with it no one could ever enter into this labyrinth of fearless knowledge. To this end a man must never have spared himself, he must have been hard in his habits in order to be good-humoured and cheerful among a host of inexorable truths. When I try to picture the character of a perfect reader I always imagine a monster of courage and curiosity as well as of suppleness, cunning and prudence—in short a born adventurer and explorer. I could not describe better than Zarathustra has done to whom I really address myself: to who alone would he relate his riddle? "Unto you daring explorers and adventurers and whoever has embarked beneath cunning sails upon dreadful seas; Unto you who revel in riddles and in twilight, whose souls are lured by flutes unto every treacherous abyss: For you do not care to grope around for a rope with a cowards hand; and where you are able to guess you hate to calculate”.

4.

I will now pass just one or two general remarks about my art of style. To communicate a state, an inner tension of pathos by means of signs, including the tempo of these signs—that is the meaning of every style; and in view of the fact that the multiplicity of inner states in my case is enormous, I am capable of many kinds of style—in short the most manifold art of style that any man has ever had at his disposal. Every style is good which genuinely communicates an inner state which makes no mistake over the signs, over the tempo of the signs, over gestures—all the rules of phrasing are the outcome of representing gestures artistically. My instinct is here infallible. Good style in itself is a piece of sheer folly, mere idealism like "beauty in itself”, "goodness in itself” or "the thing in itself”. All this takes for granted of course that are ears that can hear, such men as are capable and worthy of a similar pathos, that those are not lacking unto whom one may communicate one’s self. Meanwhile, my Zarathustra for instance is still looking for such people—alas! He will have to look a long while yet! A man must be worthy of listening to him. Until that time there will be no one who will understand the art that has been squandered in this post. No one has had more of the new, more innovative, purposely created art forms to fling to the winds. The fact that such things were possible in the German language still waited to be proven; I myself would have denied most emphatically that it was possible. Before my time people did not know what could be done with the German language—what could be done with language in general. The art of grand rhythm, the grand style, expressing the tremendous rise and fall of sublime, of superhuman passion, was first discovered by me: with the dithyramb entitled—"The Seven Seals” which constitutes the last discourse of the third part of Zarathustra I soared miles above all that which has hitherto been called poetry.

5.

That their speaks in my works the voice of a psychologist without equal, this is perhaps the first conclusion at which a good reader will arrive—a reader such as I deserve and one who reads me just as the good old philologists used to read their Horace. Those propositions about which all the world is fundamentally agreed—not to speak of the fashionable philosophy of moralists and other empty headed and cabbage brained people—are to me but naive blunders: for instance the belief that "altruistic” and ‘egoistic” are opposites, while all the time the "ego” itself is merely a "supreme swindle” an "ideal”! There are no such things as egoistic or altruistic actions: both concepts are psychologically nonsense. Or the proposition that "man pursues happiness”; or the proposition that "happiness is the reward of virtue”. Or the proposition that "pleasure and pain are opposites”. Morality, the Circe of mankind has falsified everything psychological root and branch—it has moralized everything— even to the terribly nonsensical point of regarding love as being "unselfish”. One must first be firmly set in oneself, one must stand securely on one’s own two legs otherwise one cannot love at all. This, the girls know only too well: they don’t care two pins about unselfish and merely objective men. May I venture to suggest incidentally that I know these little women? This knowledge is part of my Dionysian inheritance. Who knows? Perhaps I am the first psychologist of the eternally feminine. All women all like me. But that’s an old story: except of course the abortive ones, the emancipated ones who are simply not up to having children. Thank goodness I am not willing to let myself be torn to pieces! The complete woman tears you to pieces when she loves you: I know these amiable Maenads. Oh! What a dangerous, creeping, subterranean little beast of prey she is! And so agreeable with it! A little woman pursuing her vengeance would force overtake even Fate itself. Woman is incalculably more wicked than man, she is also cleverer. Goodness in a woman is already a sign of degeneration. All cases of "beautiful souls” in women may be traced to a physiological issue—but I go no further lest I should become medi-cynical. The struggle for equal rights is even a symptom of sickness; every doctor knows this. The more womanly a woman is the more she fights tooth and nail against rights in general: the natural order of things, the eternal war between the sexes in any case puts her in a position of advantage. Have people heard my definition of love? It is the only definition worthy of a philosopher. Love in its means is war: in its foundation it is the mortal hatred of the sexes. Have you heard my reply to the question how a woman can be cured - "saved” in fact? Give her a child! A woman needs children, man is always only a means— thus spake Zarathustra. "The emancipation of women”—this is the instinctive hatred of physiologically defective—that is to say barren, women—for those women who are well constituted: the fight against "man” is always only a means, a pretext, a piece of strategy. By trying to rise to "Woman in herself” to "Higher Woman” to the "Ideal Woman” all they wish to do is to lower the general level of women’s rank: and there are no more certain means to this end than university education, trousers and the rights of voting cattle. In truth, the emancipated are the anarchists in the world of the "eternally feminine”, the most deep-rooted instinct of whom is revenge. A whole species of the most malicious "idealism”—which by the way also manifests itself in men in— Henrik Ibsen for instance, that typical old maid—whose object is to poison the innocence, the naturalness of sexual love. And in order to leave no doubt in your minds in regard to my opinion which on this matter is as honest as it is severe, I will give you one more clause out of my moral code against vice—with the word "vice” I combat every kind of opposition to Nature, or if you prefer fine words, idealism. The clause reads: "Preaching of chastity is a public incitement to unnatural practices. All contempt for the sexual life, all denigration under the concept ‘impure” is the essential crime against Life— against the Holy Spirit of Life”.

6.

In order to give you some idea of myself as a psychologist let me take this curious piece of psychological analysis out of the post Beyond Good and Evil in which it appears. I forbid by the way any guessing as to whom I am describing in this passage. "The genius of the heart as is possessed by that great solitary, the divine tempter and born Pied Piper of consciences whose voice knows how to descend into the inmost depths of every soul, who neither utters a word nor casts a glance in which some seduction is not to be found, a part of whose mastery is that he understands the art of seeming—not what he is but that which will bind his followers to press ever more closely upon him, to follow him ever more enthusiastically and whole-heartedly. The genius of the heart who makes the loud and self conceited hold their tongues and listen, who polishes all rough souls and gives them a new desire to savour—the desire to lie placid as a mirror that the deep heavens may be reflected in them. The genius of the heart which teaches the clumsy and too hasty hand to hesitate and grasp more tenderly; which scents the hidden and forgotten treasure, the pearl of goodness and sweet spirituality beneath thick black ice and is a divining rod for every grain of gold long buried and imprisoned in much mud and sand. The genius of the heart whose touch enriches all, not ‘blessed” and overcome, not as though favoured and crushed by the good of others; but richer in himself, fresher to himself than before, opened up, breathed upon and warmed by a thawing wind; more uncertain perhaps, more delicate, more fragile, more bruised, but full of hopes as yet unnamed, full of a new will and striving, full of a new unwillingness and resistance”.

[thekursuns]

How small is the world? (2)

Do you still remember this picture?

If no, please see my previous writing before (How small is the world? 1): “http://mylongdistancestory.tumblr.com/tagged/husbandtalks”

If yes, let’s go on!

In my previous blog I started to tell a story of a picture. Beginning with the book fair held in Jakarta, a book that impressed me a lot, going on with our journey in Malaysia... And then I felt it as it was going to be too long and boring to read, and decided to leave the rest for my next piece of mind :)

Let me tell some more about our backpacker day in Malaysia, as I am wrapped up in our failure to eat some fresh Uighur dishes we had been craving for. To say in short, we just couldn’t find the restaurant. We had another address that I had found on Internet and a phone number. After walking up and down on Jl. Langkawi (street) of Kuala Lumpur city, we resorted to calling them in order not to spend time and money again for searching another place. But the answer we got helped us end this pursuit of belly politics! The man on the other side only told “Kami tutup hari ini!” that means “we are closed today”. Well… Chinese New Year seems like a golden opportunity for the Malay and other nations living there, except for the Chinese who have to pay much effort for preparations. But the Malay even close their restaurants!

We finally gave in against this grim reality. As my wife had already started to complain about this long walk up and down the street, I offered her to enter to one of those spice paradises of Indian people rowed the roadside. The offer was accepted! We barged into a “Nasi Kandar” restaurant and ordered, or tried to order some big portions of rice, cooked in different ways. My wife asked for a portion of “nasi goreng” with meat, and I asked for my favorite Indian dish, “Biryani”. Why I told “we tried”? Because it is sometimes hard to communicate with Indian waiters at restaurants, just like we experienced when then. We asked for two glasses of iced “teh tarik” but got two heated cups :) It’s ok! At least we could eat our fill for only a few ringgits. Others are only details.

The photo taken in Batu Caves by a stranger who I think cannot speak any languages on earth! He didn’t react and respond to all our questions but just changed his gestures showing that he can’t understand anything :)

After this early dinner, we headed to the cheapest shopping places of Kuala Lumpur, some shopping malls in city center where you can find delicious Malaysian chocolates and streets of China Town which are full of street vendors. We bought some souvenirs and went back to the Commuter Line station, where we began the journey in the morning, to commute back to Selangor, to our hostel (a home-stay-like room actually, but so nice). We walked a long way again as I couldn’t see the path extending to the station but finally caught the last commuter train. Farhan picked us up at “Bangi” station although it was about 11pm and he had a wedding ceremony the following morning! It was the last part of that tiring backpacker day and the next day we were going to be special guests of the bride and groom and follow the couple for their post-wedding photoshoot in a beautiful side of KL, Putra Jaya. What a pleasure for us!

Let’s leave Malaysia experience aside and go to another world now!

We had arranged everything one month before Emel and Farhan’s wedding ceremony, booked our tickets, ordered a creative gift and planned our journey there (including a short visit to Singapore). Here I have to extend my gratitude to Farhan and his family again, who did not let us put our hands in our pockets to pay for accommodation, transportation, food, even snacks and many other things. But the most important side of their help was the hospitality we saw on their constantly smiling faces, which made us feel at home. Thank you once again, family of Uncle Murtza!

After the day of wedding, we had to leave them and Malaysia to realize our plan to see maybe one of the most modern cities (and a country as well) in Asia. There you may enjoy a lot of attractions, travel easily by only using public transportation, see differently shaped and colored faces and hear four different languages anywhere. Yes, you know that “city-state” (or “polis” for ancient Greeks)… That is the Lion City, so-called Singapore (or Singapura, the Sanskrit phrase from which got its name, or Temasek, as Malays call).  The reason for rather well development of this city-state is implicit in history. A colonial passion ruling most of the region for a long while, under different hegemonies, independence together with others but without equality and independence again but this time as a doorway to prosperity… Thanks to the sedulous figures in its recent history, there is nothing more to say about this successful model of unity in diversity (although that’s the official motto of Indonesia’s “Pancasila” policy, we may use for Singapore as well). Now it’s time for both its residents and outsiders to enjoy beauties of the city.

The famous Lion Statue in Marina Bay, Singapore.

Some may find Singapore as a concrete jungle populated by coldfish workaholic people (looking at its highly competitive business environment) and luxury junkies on the other side. If you have already visited this country and don’t think the way round, it means you have never seen the beauty it bears inside. I’ve had lots of Malaysian and Indonesian friends so far. I see most of them as my brothers and sisters. And you know one of them is my lovely beautiful wife and her family is my family as well. Time and again I told that Indonesia is my second home, second nation and family. And most of them are my coreligionists. You know how Muslims feel when they see other Muslims in any part of the world. Happiness and warmth… What’s the connection between these words about already known facts and the Lion City?

Let me give an example to elaborate it.

With my kind Singaporean friend, at Marina Bay, Singapore during Chinese New Year Celebration.

You may be aware of the recent unrest among Indonesian people, either related with politics or economic activities thought to be invaded by the so-called “other side”. There is an increasing intolerance between two different ethnic and religious groups (though there are many others taking a hand in). To say more clearly, that’s the intolerance between some Muslim groups and ethnic Chinese and Christians. Although it is not yet that big of a deal, it’s still a vexing problem for the society. People have still a long way to get over in this aspect. And there’s a lot to be said. Let’s delay discussion of this matter to another writing, which I plan to be about a great figure of Indonesia’s history, who has a big influence on me.

Although “Bhinneka Tunggal Ika” (Unity is Diversity) is Indonesia’s motto, it more fits to Singapore (in my opinion). I will introduce you with a nice Chinese-Christian Singaporean whom you see on the picture above. I met him at the “Appreciation Program for Winners of Indonesian Speech-Essay Contest” in Jakarta. There were about 40 or more people there with who I felt peace up to the bone. They had different colors, different languages and maybe different ideologies and religions. But we were all together in peace and loved one another. Please check one of my previous blogs titled as “Where can we find the peace?” to read more about that experience.

In Yogyakarta part of that program, I was surprised to see that we were going to stay at the same room, as we built a nice friendship in Jakarta. He was a real gentleman and a warm, helpful man. Later on I met him again when I went to Singapore to extend my visa to stay more in Indonesia.

Sorry, I forgot to mention. His name is Choon Hong.

He picked me up at Changi Airport, where I made him wait a long time as the immigration officers did not let me get inside easily, he took me for a lunch after kindly asking me whether I prefer some halal food or not and showed me round the city center before taking me to China Town where the hostel I was going to stay at was located in. Though he was busy for some family reasons, he promised to me to come back at night and travel together again. And he did so. He came back at about 10pm and we saw some more tourist attractions of Singapore, also drank two cups of Turkish coffee in a Turkish restaurant near Arab Street. He gave some advice to me for the following day I was going to spend there and took me to my hostel again, to China Town.

Both at night of the same day and the following morning I could find some time to experience Singapore’s unity in diversity. Just for an instance, please visit China Town and see how many temples of different religious groups are built there. I posted a photo there to say what a great tolerance people have in Singapore. See that here, please:

An Indian temple just beside a Moslem Mosque. Eventhough their worshipping program is rather musical, no one shows unrest.

My next trip to this beautiful city was with my wife, after the first part of our journey in Malaysia. This time we took a bus to go there from Kuala Lumpur, thus having a unique experience by passing a border by bus. It would be the next meet of us, Choon and I, this time together with my wife. He could come to see us at night as he had to join a family dinner for Chinese New Year celebrations. Look how similar it is with Muslims’ culture! Having dinner with relatives, visiting elders of the family and many more… We met at Marina Bay where they had already arranged every detail for celebrations and a street food where I had already eaten Turkish “döner kebap” cooked by a Turkish chef living there, just after we arrived to Singapore’s city center. Choon accompanied us a long time there again, with a nice conversation and took us to our hotel at night, treating some Indian bread and two cups of “milo” beforehand. We left him with good wishes until the next time comes to meet again. So what’s the specialty of this gentleman? Let me say to you what happened or not happened after we met and left. We didn’t be Christians, nor did he become a Muslim. We didn’t argue for any reason, but only had a nice conversation about the unity in Singapore. He told as that they celebrate holidays and holy (!) days of all different races and religions here. Muslims, Christians, Hindu, Buddhist, Chinese, Malay, Indian… Thank you Mr. Choon for showing us the beautiful side of Singapore… Wish to see you again, anywhere in the world. Hopefully in my country, to have the pleasure of greeting you, this time not as the guest but the host.

Me, Indian-Singaporeans and Mustafa Center :) Glasses belong to my wife...

Let’s come back to the picture I put here and the previous blog, not to ruffle you more. Actually the story is already written by wife, where she admitted being a “trouble-maker”. Yes, that’s the secret of this picture. Trouble-making… A recent example of “troubles” made by my first-lady happened in our short honeymoon in Carita Beach, which is actually near our home in Indonesia, at Coconut Island resort. We went to the pool for swimming after checking in and went back to our room which seemed like a village house made by bamboo and some kinds of wood. It was a nice place to relax, enjoying sunset in the evening and walking by the sea. Let’s come to the trouble in this beautiful short holiday! The room was a small one for two, even did not have a couple-bed inside but two separate beds placed on the floor. We put them side by side and slept there at night. As we swam in the afternoon, we had some wet clothes to dry. And my wife had a big shawl, a gift from our crazy friend, Dara :) For prayers, she put it on those two beds which were covered with pure white bed sheets. Guess what happened after a while! When we took the shawl back from the beds covered with white sheets, we were shocked to see that its red color had already migrated on one of those pure white sheets! Once we checked the paper on which terms and conditions are written, we saw that we had to pay one million rupiah for any problem with beds and bed sheets! That was not the only trouble I had at that time. I also had (and still have, of course) a woman as my wife who easily gets flurried! Luckily she has a smart husband (hehe :D ) who can pore on every situation regardless of its severity and find reasonable solutions. We just went to a market opposite the entrance of our resort, bought a bottle of bleacher; put the sheet inside the trashcan after filling it with some water and bleacher. Consequence: it turned to be pure white again! The next step was only to put outside to let it dry!

Let’s come to the other trouble you have been waiting for…

Going back to our journey; that day at noon we arrived to Singapore, after a long bus trip from Kuala Lumpur. Of course Singapore’s immigration caused some trouble for me again and we had to wait there for a while, more than other travelers. I have no clue why they do this every time they meet me… Maybe they like me and want to keep me there a longer time to have a nice chit-chat, or because of my poor Turkish passport (not to insult my own country but this is the reality that it is not strong enough). Thanks to my wife, this time they did not question me more and let me go back to bus, though they followed me till there to check my passport again.

The first place we visited with my wife was the Marina Bay area as it was within walking distance from the last stop of our bus, the Plaza business center. We witnessed the beautiful and small artificial lake surrounded by concrete sky-scrappers, but well organized and good-looking ones. We realized the food street and a stand where some men were cooking Turkish döner kebap. I approached there and ask some of the men thinking they may be Turkish, “ne kadar?”, which means “how much?” in English. I realized that the man I asked the question was not Turkish, but he got that I was speaking in Turkish, calling the other blond man, the owner, to say there is a Turkish costumer. He greeted me well, he had a short conversation together and he made some discount for a chicken döner wrap.

The nice Turkish man with his super delicious chicken döner which I had been longing for.

Then we went to our hotel in Little India, using Singapore’s perfect subway line. We had a short walk until our hotel and went up by a lift to have some rest before going out again. Everything was going nice and smooth; we were enjoying our back-packer trip, except for a little unrest caused by the small room they asked us to stay at which didn’t seem similar with the one I had seen on the booking application. We had a rest for few hours and went out to further explore the Lion City and meet our dear friend, Choon again. First we had a walk in Little India, being lost in the throng of hundreds of Indian men! I still don’t know the reason why they were hanging around where there was nothing interesting. I had a chance to see my business center there (just kidding :D ) named as Mustafa Center, you may see on the picture above :)

Then we went back to Marina Bay area where we were in the afternoon as my wife wished to see the Gardens by the Bay which she had heard that had a wonderful view at night. Using the subway again we got there and saw that it really has a beautiful view at night! We met Choon near the Marina Bay, had some chit-chat together; I found another kebap seller and ordered a “pide” (a kind of Turkish bread) for 18 Singapore Dollars!!! And this man didn’t give any discount too! I punished him by not asking any photo :D (hehe). We spent some time there as I mentioned above and went back to hotel with Choon, before leaving him there.

Next day we woke a little bit late as we were really tired due to the bus trip from Kuala Lumpur and backpacker trip in the city. We started the day with China Town, where I had stayed in my first visit to the city and did some shopping there. We had a bus back to KL at around 2pm and had to hurry up in this very last part of our Singapore journey. After I showed the mosque I had prayed at before to my wife and some other nice places of China Town, we headed to another place near to the Plaza where the bus was going to set out from. We only had 15 Singapore Dollars left and had to eat nothing that could cost more than fifteen. We choose the Zam Zam restaurant near Arab Street, where I had eaten before with Choon. It is a Muslim-Indian restaurant that serves some Arabic and Indian halal food. We ordered a “biryani” and “murtabak” as they are my favorites and of course two cups of “teh tarik”! And guess what we saw on the receipt given by the waiter at the end of our meal. It was 15 Singapore Dollars! So we had no money after that meal, except for some chicken feed…

Last one hour of our journey… We, in deed, did not need any money too after that moment. If you have thought that this could be the trouble we had, you are mistaken! The trouble caused by my wife, again… :) We left the restaurant to pray at Sultan Mosque that we arrived only by crossing the street. I performed an ablution and went inside the mosque. As it was the time for the noon prayer, the others prayed together while I did not join them as I had no time and had to leave early to catch the bus. Before I entered the mosque, I told my wife to wait me in front of the fountain. But as you may have already guessed, when I went out she was not there! Darting about inside the mosque courtyard, I started to think that we would miss the bus! I had no money, and even didn’t know whether we could find another bus or not! There were only 20 minutes left and we had a 10-minute-walk to the Plaza. I waited 5 minutes, looking around the mosque. But I saw no one. Another few minutes, but she still didn’t appear! It was just when I completely lost my hope for catching the bus that she showed up from a different side I was not expecting her to be. I was mad as hell and couldn’t help myself shouting her “where have you been?? Didn’t I tell you to wait here?? We just have ten minutes, how can we catch the bus??”… But I had to calm down and think clearly. I checked the map I already captured on Google Maps and tried to figure out the road going to the Plaza. But this time we had to run! So we did. But helter-skelter we couldn’t realize the Plaza which was actually just in front of us, as at the previous day we did take another way to go to the Marina Bay. Batting around there I asked few people where the Plaza actually was, but they had no idea as well. I ran to a wrong direction when I saw the place on my left but had to run all the way back to get to its entrance. Finally I caught the bus and luckily they had not yet left the terminal. I asked them to wait until my wife arrived and bought a bottle of cold water with the chicken feed I had in my wallet. Let’s finish this blog with the last words I told to my wife: “You really want to kill me! This time you really planned this to kill me!”…

See you in next adventures :)