#husbandtalks

[isdilsu]

Funniest thing with my boyfriend is that he usually doesn't have the knowledge or mental bandwidth to isolate what changes and how it affects things

(also because he's a creature and somehow always does things in ways I've never even heard of)

Which leads to a problem I'm calling Snow-bawling, where even though the theory insists there should be an upgrade, somehow, we're witnessing a downgrade

[thekursuns]

Another anniversary story...

We stand where we did stand years ago. Still together, still with love...

Today is the first day, just as it was three years ago today.

First days have always been a reason of motivation for me to write my feelings down.

I decided to write, but only some short passages this time, just like I did two years ago. Two years ago when we experienced that adventurous journey from my motherland to yours and back. This time it will even be simpler...

I know this is only the beginning of our story. If you ask those who have already come a long way in marriage, perhaps they will laugh at us and say some words which will probably mean “You are still young and have a long way to go” etc. The only thing I’d like to tell them is “Tell me about it!”. Please don’t get me wrong. It is not a complaint about my life. Who knows where would we be if not here in this situation? Who knows what would we do now? Would we be together or they take us apart? Anyway, we are still together, still free and still lay back on the same pillow every night. And this is enough to be grateful for the Almighty Allah!

However, it is sure a turning point in our lives and it cannot be simply misprized as a period of rawness. God knows, would those (somewhat) outsiders put up such resistance if they went through the same we have been going through since the beginning of these three years? Would they go on struggling or give up just like some others who got tired even before the beginning of their stories?

How about those claiming to have the same story as us? Do they really know our story? Do they really feel what we feel?

No way I can or dare to belittle stories of others. Each story is unique. And, so mine is…

Today is a gladsome day for us. But it also is a little bit blue…

Gladsome as we have put three years behind us with all its ups and downs, blue as we have been passing through maybe the hardest time of our lives in this wild world.

I know I did not start with heartwarming words to this writing which was supposed to be simpler. At least I claimed so in the beginning but it again turned to be a complicated one. Okay, no problem I think... I remember those words I wrote for you when we sometimes were over the moon and sometimes up in the clouds with the hope to touch each other during that painful long distance time. What beautiful days they were! But isn’t today as beautiful as those? I think it is. And it is only in our hands to make it even more beautiful.

Ok…

This nonsense talk is enough I think. Now let me tell you something, my life, my wife, my everything…

You are stronger than I was thinking before and I know you will be more.

You are getting more beautiful in my eyes every single morning and night.

You are the only one who stays beside me in this hard period of life. I sometimes think like, “How can she stand such a problematic man in her life?” but you do and you are still with me, as my best and biggest supporter.

You are my love. I love you, baby. Just like the first time I wrote to you, I want to sing it out loud that I love you so much!

Please forgive all of my mistakes for these three years’ sake.

I know well that you’ve never lost your hope, but let me tell a story to you which I lived just two days ago. It was one of the strangest moments of my life.

That day (night actually) I met one of the purest humans living on earth. He is probably about 40 years old and if you don’t really know him, you may think he is a dangerous man. His face is a little bit scary and his body is strong enough to harm anyone weaker than him. But when you see the smile on his face, all these iced prejudices start to melt down.

Believe me, I told nothing to him about my past and future! He just heard that we are planning to go to that peaceful place we wish to live. You know where I mean…

But he was so sure when was expressing these words just at in the beginning of our conversation, “You will be very successful soon. Just in three years!”

I was shocked to hear this. What did he mean? How could he be so sure like he was?

Then I started to ask questions to him. He insisted on saying same words to me. “You will go to that country you want. You will stay there three years and start to be successful in the first year.”

I felt really strange and wanted to cry. But I held my tears as I was too shy to do that there.

Then I asked him again: “So, when I will leave here? What do you think about the time?”

His answer was as strange as his first sentence, “Only in three months you will leave here and go there. And you will be successful there in three years. I know you have some problems in your country now. But this is only a little problem. Don’t worry�� he said. But he also warned me, saying “When you go there and become successful, don’t forget this country, these people and us. You must come back to here”.

Can you imagine how sure he was talking about my future?

Then again without hearing any words from my mouth, he said, “And you will have a baby soon. And when you have your baby, something will change…”

I will keep this “something” as a secret until that time comes. Please don’t ask anything about that? Deal? :)

Let me give two simple predictions of him to help you believe these words more strongly.

I asked him the reason why I got too many little accidents in only one week.

He said “It is because you have more jobs than before now, your economy is getting better and this is a warning for you. It says ‘Don’t forget sadakah!’ to you”. Then my friend asked him, “What do you think? Is the way going to his home safe now or not?” and he said “There is no problem. It is so safe”.

I thought about these words whole the way going home. The road was strangely empty and there was no problem until I came to the city center. And you know the end of the story and the miracle which saved me thanks to a friend waiting there with the others. No need to give more details I think :)

I was so excited to tell all of these words to you when I came back to home. But I decided to wait until this special day of us as I couldn’t prepare any beautiful gift for you this year. So please accept my simple gifts and these exciting wishes from that pure heart.

So,

What are we waiting for?

Still, I’m (putting up a resistance) I’m gonna work it out You know I’m (putting up a resistance) I’ve got to work it out Lord, I’m (putting up a resistance) I’m ah gonna work it out You know I’m (putting up a resistance) I’m gonna work it out, Lord!

Got to fight it! Got to fight it!

Just listen to this song, say a prayer and relax.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkTwyi4qfqY

Allah has the best plan for us :)

Note: By the way, I will not share this to the public until you privately read. After that, you decide. To share or not to share...

[tonggeretdimusimpanas]

A: sayang nanti kalo kita udah punya anak kamu mau g gantiin popok, nyuci bajunya, mandi in gitu?

S: mau, aku kan rajin

A: mmm iya juga sih

S: kamu bukannya seharusnya mengkhawatirkan diri sendiri?

A: 😒

#wifetalk #husbandtalk

[aiming-for-the-afterglow]

You guys my husband has a rough time getting me gifts. So he always tries extra hard to listen to what I talk about to get ideas. Today we had a fight and we are finally coming down from the arguement and he goes...

“ There’s only one thing you want that isn’t Taylor Swift.”

“Otherwise it’s all 4 albums to have her diaries..”

“To watch the movie CATS...”

“I wish Taylor’s Documentary was in theatres, I would take you to it.”

I about died. Hahaha I promise I have other interests 🤣🤣🤣

@taylorswift

[thekursuns]

How small is the world? (2)

Do you still remember this picture?

If no, please see my previous writing before (How small is the world? 1): “http://mylongdistancestory.tumblr.com/tagged/husbandtalks”

If yes, let’s go on!

In my previous blog I started to tell a story of a picture. Beginning with the book fair held in Jakarta, a book that impressed me a lot, going on with our journey in Malaysia... And then I felt it as it was going to be too long and boring to read, and decided to leave the rest for my next piece of mind :)

Let me tell some more about our backpacker day in Malaysia, as I am wrapped up in our failure to eat some fresh Uighur dishes we had been craving for. To say in short, we just couldn’t find the restaurant. We had another address that I had found on Internet and a phone number. After walking up and down on Jl. Langkawi (street) of Kuala Lumpur city, we resorted to calling them in order not to spend time and money again for searching another place. But the answer we got helped us end this pursuit of belly politics! The man on the other side only told “Kami tutup hari ini!” that means “we are closed today”. Well… Chinese New Year seems like a golden opportunity for the Malay and other nations living there, except for the Chinese who have to pay much effort for preparations. But the Malay even close their restaurants!

We finally gave in against this grim reality. As my wife had already started to complain about this long walk up and down the street, I offered her to enter to one of those spice paradises of Indian people rowed the roadside. The offer was accepted! We barged into a “Nasi Kandar” restaurant and ordered, or tried to order some big portions of rice, cooked in different ways. My wife asked for a portion of “nasi goreng” with meat, and I asked for my favorite Indian dish, “Biryani”. Why I told “we tried”? Because it is sometimes hard to communicate with Indian waiters at restaurants, just like we experienced when then. We asked for two glasses of iced “teh tarik” but got two heated cups :) It’s ok! At least we could eat our fill for only a few ringgits. Others are only details.

The photo taken in Batu Caves by a stranger who I think cannot speak any languages on earth! He didn’t react and respond to all our questions but just changed his gestures showing that he can’t understand anything :)

After this early dinner, we headed to the cheapest shopping places of Kuala Lumpur, some shopping malls in city center where you can find delicious Malaysian chocolates and streets of China Town which are full of street vendors. We bought some souvenirs and went back to the Commuter Line station, where we began the journey in the morning, to commute back to Selangor, to our hostel (a home-stay-like room actually, but so nice). We walked a long way again as I couldn’t see the path extending to the station but finally caught the last commuter train. Farhan picked us up at “Bangi” station although it was about 11pm and he had a wedding ceremony the following morning! It was the last part of that tiring backpacker day and the next day we were going to be special guests of the bride and groom and follow the couple for their post-wedding photoshoot in a beautiful side of KL, Putra Jaya. What a pleasure for us!

Let’s leave Malaysia experience aside and go to another world now!

We had arranged everything one month before Emel and Farhan’s wedding ceremony, booked our tickets, ordered a creative gift and planned our journey there (including a short visit to Singapore). Here I have to extend my gratitude to Farhan and his family again, who did not let us put our hands in our pockets to pay for accommodation, transportation, food, even snacks and many other things. But the most important side of their help was the hospitality we saw on their constantly smiling faces, which made us feel at home. Thank you once again, family of Uncle Murtza!

After the day of wedding, we had to leave them and Malaysia to realize our plan to see maybe one of the most modern cities (and a country as well) in Asia. There you may enjoy a lot of attractions, travel easily by only using public transportation, see differently shaped and colored faces and hear four different languages anywhere. Yes, you know that “city-state” (or “polis” for ancient Greeks)… That is the Lion City, so-called Singapore (or Singapura, the Sanskrit phrase from which got its name, or Temasek, as Malays call).  The reason for rather well development of this city-state is implicit in history. A colonial passion ruling most of the region for a long while, under different hegemonies, independence together with others but without equality and independence again but this time as a doorway to prosperity… Thanks to the sedulous figures in its recent history, there is nothing more to say about this successful model of unity in diversity (although that’s the official motto of Indonesia’s “Pancasila” policy, we may use for Singapore as well). Now it’s time for both its residents and outsiders to enjoy beauties of the city.

The famous Lion Statue in Marina Bay, Singapore.

Some may find Singapore as a concrete jungle populated by coldfish workaholic people (looking at its highly competitive business environment) and luxury junkies on the other side. If you have already visited this country and don’t think the way round, it means you have never seen the beauty it bears inside. I’ve had lots of Malaysian and Indonesian friends so far. I see most of them as my brothers and sisters. And you know one of them is my lovely beautiful wife and her family is my family as well. Time and again I told that Indonesia is my second home, second nation and family. And most of them are my coreligionists. You know how Muslims feel when they see other Muslims in any part of the world. Happiness and warmth… What’s the connection between these words about already known facts and the Lion City?

Let me give an example to elaborate it.

With my kind Singaporean friend, at Marina Bay, Singapore during Chinese New Year Celebration.

You may be aware of the recent unrest among Indonesian people, either related with politics or economic activities thought to be invaded by the so-called “other side”. There is an increasing intolerance between two different ethnic and religious groups (though there are many others taking a hand in). To say more clearly, that’s the intolerance between some Muslim groups and ethnic Chinese and Christians. Although it is not yet that big of a deal, it’s still a vexing problem for the society. People have still a long way to get over in this aspect. And there’s a lot to be said. Let’s delay discussion of this matter to another writing, which I plan to be about a great figure of Indonesia’s history, who has a big influence on me.

Although “Bhinneka Tunggal Ika” (Unity is Diversity) is Indonesia’s motto, it more fits to Singapore (in my opinion). I will introduce you with a nice Chinese-Christian Singaporean whom you see on the picture above. I met him at the “Appreciation Program for Winners of Indonesian Speech-Essay Contest” in Jakarta. There were about 40 or more people there with who I felt peace up to the bone. They had different colors, different languages and maybe different ideologies and religions. But we were all together in peace and loved one another. Please check one of my previous blogs titled as “Where can we find the peace?” to read more about that experience.

In Yogyakarta part of that program, I was surprised to see that we were going to stay at the same room, as we built a nice friendship in Jakarta. He was a real gentleman and a warm, helpful man. Later on I met him again when I went to Singapore to extend my visa to stay more in Indonesia.

Sorry, I forgot to mention. His name is Choon Hong.

He picked me up at Changi Airport, where I made him wait a long time as the immigration officers did not let me get inside easily, he took me for a lunch after kindly asking me whether I prefer some halal food or not and showed me round the city center before taking me to China Town where the hostel I was going to stay at was located in. Though he was busy for some family reasons, he promised to me to come back at night and travel together again. And he did so. He came back at about 10pm and we saw some more tourist attractions of Singapore, also drank two cups of Turkish coffee in a Turkish restaurant near Arab Street. He gave some advice to me for the following day I was going to spend there and took me to my hostel again, to China Town.

Both at night of the same day and the following morning I could find some time to experience Singapore’s unity in diversity. Just for an instance, please visit China Town and see how many temples of different religious groups are built there. I posted a photo there to say what a great tolerance people have in Singapore. See that here, please:

An Indian temple just beside a Moslem Mosque. Eventhough their worshipping program is rather musical, no one shows unrest.

My next trip to this beautiful city was with my wife, after the first part of our journey in Malaysia. This time we took a bus to go there from Kuala Lumpur, thus having a unique experience by passing a border by bus. It would be the next meet of us, Choon and I, this time together with my wife. He could come to see us at night as he had to join a family dinner for Chinese New Year celebrations. Look how similar it is with Muslims’ culture! Having dinner with relatives, visiting elders of the family and many more… We met at Marina Bay where they had already arranged every detail for celebrations and a street food where I had already eaten Turkish “döner kebap” cooked by a Turkish chef living there, just after we arrived to Singapore’s city center. Choon accompanied us a long time there again, with a nice conversation and took us to our hotel at night, treating some Indian bread and two cups of “milo” beforehand. We left him with good wishes until the next time comes to meet again. So what’s the specialty of this gentleman? Let me say to you what happened or not happened after we met and left. We didn’t be Christians, nor did he become a Muslim. We didn’t argue for any reason, but only had a nice conversation about the unity in Singapore. He told as that they celebrate holidays and holy (!) days of all different races and religions here. Muslims, Christians, Hindu, Buddhist, Chinese, Malay, Indian… Thank you Mr. Choon for showing us the beautiful side of Singapore… Wish to see you again, anywhere in the world. Hopefully in my country, to have the pleasure of greeting you, this time not as the guest but the host.

Me, Indian-Singaporeans and Mustafa Center :) Glasses belong to my wife...

Let’s come back to the picture I put here and the previous blog, not to ruffle you more. Actually the story is already written by wife, where she admitted being a “trouble-maker”. Yes, that’s the secret of this picture. Trouble-making… A recent example of “troubles” made by my first-lady happened in our short honeymoon in Carita Beach, which is actually near our home in Indonesia, at Coconut Island resort. We went to the pool for swimming after checking in and went back to our room which seemed like a village house made by bamboo and some kinds of wood. It was a nice place to relax, enjoying sunset in the evening and walking by the sea. Let’s come to the trouble in this beautiful short holiday! The room was a small one for two, even did not have a couple-bed inside but two separate beds placed on the floor. We put them side by side and slept there at night. As we swam in the afternoon, we had some wet clothes to dry. And my wife had a big shawl, a gift from our crazy friend, Dara :) For prayers, she put it on those two beds which were covered with pure white bed sheets. Guess what happened after a while! When we took the shawl back from the beds covered with white sheets, we were shocked to see that its red color had already migrated on one of those pure white sheets! Once we checked the paper on which terms and conditions are written, we saw that we had to pay one million rupiah for any problem with beds and bed sheets! That was not the only trouble I had at that time. I also had (and still have, of course) a woman as my wife who easily gets flurried! Luckily she has a smart husband (hehe :D ) who can pore on every situation regardless of its severity and find reasonable solutions. We just went to a market opposite the entrance of our resort, bought a bottle of bleacher; put the sheet inside the trashcan after filling it with some water and bleacher. Consequence: it turned to be pure white again! The next step was only to put outside to let it dry!

Let’s come to the other trouble you have been waiting for…

Going back to our journey; that day at noon we arrived to Singapore, after a long bus trip from Kuala Lumpur. Of course Singapore’s immigration caused some trouble for me again and we had to wait there for a while, more than other travelers. I have no clue why they do this every time they meet me… Maybe they like me and want to keep me there a longer time to have a nice chit-chat, or because of my poor Turkish passport (not to insult my own country but this is the reality that it is not strong enough). Thanks to my wife, this time they did not question me more and let me go back to bus, though they followed me till there to check my passport again.

The first place we visited with my wife was the Marina Bay area as it was within walking distance from the last stop of our bus, the Plaza business center. We witnessed the beautiful and small artificial lake surrounded by concrete sky-scrappers, but well organized and good-looking ones. We realized the food street and a stand where some men were cooking Turkish döner kebap. I approached there and ask some of the men thinking they may be Turkish, “ne kadar?”, which means “how much?” in English. I realized that the man I asked the question was not Turkish, but he got that I was speaking in Turkish, calling the other blond man, the owner, to say there is a Turkish costumer. He greeted me well, he had a short conversation together and he made some discount for a chicken döner wrap.

The nice Turkish man with his super delicious chicken döner which I had been longing for.

Then we went to our hotel in Little India, using Singapore’s perfect subway line. We had a short walk until our hotel and went up by a lift to have some rest before going out again. Everything was going nice and smooth; we were enjoying our back-packer trip, except for a little unrest caused by the small room they asked us to stay at which didn’t seem similar with the one I had seen on the booking application. We had a rest for few hours and went out to further explore the Lion City and meet our dear friend, Choon again. First we had a walk in Little India, being lost in the throng of hundreds of Indian men! I still don’t know the reason why they were hanging around where there was nothing interesting. I had a chance to see my business center there (just kidding :D ) named as Mustafa Center, you may see on the picture above :)

Then we went back to Marina Bay area where we were in the afternoon as my wife wished to see the Gardens by the Bay which she had heard that had a wonderful view at night. Using the subway again we got there and saw that it really has a beautiful view at night! We met Choon near the Marina Bay, had some chit-chat together; I found another kebap seller and ordered a “pide” (a kind of Turkish bread) for 18 Singapore Dollars!!! And this man didn’t give any discount too! I punished him by not asking any photo :D (hehe). We spent some time there as I mentioned above and went back to hotel with Choon, before leaving him there.

Next day we woke a little bit late as we were really tired due to the bus trip from Kuala Lumpur and backpacker trip in the city. We started the day with China Town, where I had stayed in my first visit to the city and did some shopping there. We had a bus back to KL at around 2pm and had to hurry up in this very last part of our Singapore journey. After I showed the mosque I had prayed at before to my wife and some other nice places of China Town, we headed to another place near to the Plaza where the bus was going to set out from. We only had 15 Singapore Dollars left and had to eat nothing that could cost more than fifteen. We choose the Zam Zam restaurant near Arab Street, where I had eaten before with Choon. It is a Muslim-Indian restaurant that serves some Arabic and Indian halal food. We ordered a “biryani” and “murtabak” as they are my favorites and of course two cups of “teh tarik”! And guess what we saw on the receipt given by the waiter at the end of our meal. It was 15 Singapore Dollars! So we had no money after that meal, except for some chicken feed…

Last one hour of our journey… We, in deed, did not need any money too after that moment. If you have thought that this could be the trouble we had, you are mistaken! The trouble caused by my wife, again… :) We left the restaurant to pray at Sultan Mosque that we arrived only by crossing the street. I performed an ablution and went inside the mosque. As it was the time for the noon prayer, the others prayed together while I did not join them as I had no time and had to leave early to catch the bus. Before I entered the mosque, I told my wife to wait me in front of the fountain. But as you may have already guessed, when I went out she was not there! Darting about inside the mosque courtyard, I started to think that we would miss the bus! I had no money, and even didn’t know whether we could find another bus or not! There were only 20 minutes left and we had a 10-minute-walk to the Plaza. I waited 5 minutes, looking around the mosque. But I saw no one. Another few minutes, but she still didn’t appear! It was just when I completely lost my hope for catching the bus that she showed up from a different side I was not expecting her to be. I was mad as hell and couldn’t help myself shouting her “where have you been?? Didn’t I tell you to wait here?? We just have ten minutes, how can we catch the bus??”… But I had to calm down and think clearly. I checked the map I already captured on Google Maps and tried to figure out the road going to the Plaza. But this time we had to run! So we did. But helter-skelter we couldn’t realize the Plaza which was actually just in front of us, as at the previous day we did take another way to go to the Marina Bay. Batting around there I asked few people where the Plaza actually was, but they had no idea as well. I ran to a wrong direction when I saw the place on my left but had to run all the way back to get to its entrance. Finally I caught the bus and luckily they had not yet left the terminal. I asked them to wait until my wife arrived and bought a bottle of cold water with the chicken feed I had in my wallet. Let’s finish this blog with the last words I told to my wife: “You really want to kill me! This time you really planned this to kill me!”…

See you in next adventures :)

[thekursuns]

How small is the world?

Every picture has a story. So what’s that of this above? I will tell you later on this blog…

I’m back again. I guess you will say “Enough man! We’re bored of hearing your struggle with your own mind for writing a piece of nonsense!”. Or maybe it’s just my bad suspicion. But that’s a big matter for me. To write or not to write; that’s the question! Finally I beat all the hitches, my old netbook which is full of lags, my own laziness to begin writing, my annoying hand phone that doesn’t let me move the pictures easily… By the way, we also decided to write a book that’s going to tell our story from my own and lovely wife’s perspectives. Just wait and see… Don’t forget to follow us until the time comes.

Actually I was thinking to title this blog as “Waiting!” as a novel of a great Chinese author impressed me a lot. Please let me tell some about that.

“Sweatheart, will you wait for me? I will come back to you soon. We are still, still one family, aren’t we? Don’t leave me..” said Lin Kong…

I heard tell of a new author, during a class of mine which is about Asian societies, but through literature. I had no idea who he was and what he had written. As it was my task for one of the classes on Chinese literature, I read only a short story of his. To be honest, I felt disgusted as he gives too many details. Though all those details are the life itself and all of us may witness such incidents, it was still (partly) disgusting to read. Sorry, I forgot to tell the name. It was a book that contains some short stories of a well-known Chinese author (who has moved to USA to make a clean break in his life and decided to use only English as his new adopted language to write), named as “Ocean of Words”. My and Ha Jin’s was a short-dated friendship and I’ve never heard of him again till I encountered his other works in a crazy book fair as its name also suggests: “Big Bad Wolf”. Yes, it was really like a Big Bad Wolf with hundreds of bookworms rambling inside him.

She offered me the book “En(She)Klopedia”. But of course I don’t need a book to understand her!

As I have a bookish wife, we visited this fair (whereby all the books were on sale with at least 50% discounts) two times, first of which was for my wife and the second absolutely for me. During that second visit, while I was bogging down inside the books in every moment and not many things appealed me among those huge book stands, my lovely wife exhumed me from that confusion and showed me a book, which has only a pigtail on its cover. She asked me “do you know this author?”. I said no, without even looking at it carefully (sorry my wife, sometimes I can be uninterested :) However, later I checked that again and realized that it was him, Ha Jin. Later on we found some more books of his and at the end of the tiring journey, being aware of the fact that we can only afford to buy one of them, we chose that “pigtail” which is tied with a red ribbon.

Few days later I opened its first page and you will not believe that I finished it in less than five days. I said you will not believe as I’m not a good reader at all! But its flowing story simply mesmerized me. (Well, I should remember that one of the reasons was my wife got cross at me and kept silent for almost two days! Thanks babe for letting me read the book in such a short while :) The setting was a military hospital (in many of his works Ha Jin tells military stories), the story was about a young doctor (at least young at the beginning), his prearranged marriage with a countrywoman and second love story, and of course his “waiting”. He feels he’s fallen in love for the first time in his life and decides to divorce his wife, who has been taking care of his old mother and father, and later on his own daughter, all the time he’s been away for work. He comes back to his town every summer, but cannot succeed in his action for the divorce. He waits, so his lover does. Until he finally muddles through all obstacles… 

Waiting… 

For about eighteen years… 

For the whole story, please find and buy that book. You will never regret!

Waiting… 

It sounds familiar to me. I know that feeling. Ok, I’ll not wade into my long distance story now, as I did that many times in my previous blog writings. Please have a look at them if not yet you have. Just a few words… We know what is “waiting”. We waited a couple of years for each other, for seeing alive, for touching “halal”. Then we waited to make things right. And we waited for our little prince or princess, though we are still waiting. We waited to move from our lovely home, just because of people’s blindness, fanaticism, bigotry… We are waiting to go back. We will wait for new adventures. Does “waiting” have an end? I think it doesn’t. We will still wait even after we completely move from this earthly earth.

Lunch at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport and my dear teh tarik!

Well… Not only are we waiting in this world. Many others also do. They wait for their dreams. They wait for their lovers. Mothers wait for their sons. Guns wait for a hunt. So does darkness, for a light… Yes, I’m finally getting back to the main point, my title, “how small is the world?”. Heroes of “waiting” find fellows everywhere in the world. Also we’ve done. We had a couple of familiars few years ago. Yes, they are Emel and Farhan, whom you see in the picture above. Last year, when we visited them for their first wedding held in Tosya town of Kastamonu just ahead of a doomsday hitting my country, Farhan’s father, Uncle Murtza insistently invited us for the next party in Malaysia. I still remember his words… “Come to Malaysia. Please, welcome to Malaysia!”. The moment, I couldn’t deem it likely as it would be too hard for us to buy tickets to Malaysia, find enough time in January and join their second wedding ceremony there. I just graciously answered him as “InshaAllah. If Allah gives this opportunity to us…” Yes! HE did. He gave us the chance to see these warm-hearted people again. Uncle Murtza, his lovely wife, my fellow Farhan and sister Emel, Farhan’s super brothers (one of them is a virtual pilot!) and other members of his family… I can’t find words for their hospitality, amidst all the “wedding hoo-hah”. They hired a room for us for one week, took us travel in Kuala Lumpur, even bought our tickets to Singapore and bid a farewell with really nice gifts…

I also shared this photo on Instagram and wrote a caption saying “Dünya küçük…”, which means “the world is small”. The world is really small. I know we will meet them again in the future. They are still waiting for each other. May Allah let them fulfill this longing for an eternal life.  And I also know we will meet for other beloveds of ours, in a good time and place…

That looks too short to tell everything about a good fellowship, but I can’t fit all inside this blog. I would like to tell more about them in the next pieces of my mind and fingers..

A nice conversation once again with the family of Medic Mesir :)

So, we were in a part of this small world. Just one day we set aside some time for our backpacker journey, leaving Farhan and Emel for the arrangements of their wedding, which was going to be held the following day. In the morning, we met some other nice people in a luxury (sorry, they took us there :) hotel, for a breakfast. They were Mr. Ahmad Rodzi and his wife Ummi Medic Mesir :) It’s not her name but she is well-known with this ekename. They manage a non-governmental organization that helps Malaysian students to study medicine in Egypt and countries nearby. I met them for the first time in my own country, to help them arrange applications of students, to universities in Ankara. We had that breakfast and left the hotel together with Mr. Rodzi. He took us to the nearest station of commuter line where we headed for our first destination, “Batu Caves”, which is a huge Hindu temple on a hill. Once we arrived, we encountered an endless staircase beside a gigantic sculpture painted in gold. We climbed till the peak under the rainfall, watched covetous monkeys and innocent chickens, took some selfies before leaving the place and asked a strange man to take our photo (whom I think cannot speak any languages available on earth!) from behind to show our hoodies combining the words of “Together-Since-20-14”.  We ordered a grab car, whose driver was a Hindu, and headed to a new place in the hope of finding an Uighur restaurant as we had been craving masterpieces of this unique, peerless cuisine. Unfortunately we couldn’t find it as Google Maps cheated us but also didn’t say no to some biryani and other Indian tastes (teh tarik too, of course). Well… I feel this story is getting too long. To avoid irking you, I will leave the other part of this story, for another blog.

“But how about the picture you put at the beginning. Won’t you tell what its story is?”. I think I will blow the gaff in the next blog. Hopefully soon… But just a clue for you: that picture clearly depicts “innocence” of my real “trouble-maker” wife :)

See you next time! Arrivederci! Or sampai jumpa! :D

[thekursuns]

Missing you...

"Death would mean nothing without seperation"

This sentence does not indicate the hardship of death, but shows the impact of seperation brought together with it. Every people near to death are afraid of leaving some beloved people behind, and some left behind are full with the sorrow of sending off the beloved one.  No... No one has died recently :) My words are not for the death.. but for an other point. Almost one year ago... 18 August 2013... An international airport. I had a feeling I'd never lived before. My eyes had never been full like that. I remembered the words of my "distancer" friends... "Once you go, you will understand..." "The price of ticket is not important. You can find the money you need and pay. But how can you pay for the ticket for coming back?"... At that moment I understood them very well. That feeling was so different than all others. I told this to a friend I've never seen alive... Her answer was so clear to understand the reason. "Of course Mustafa... You leave half of your heart behind..." So would it be possible to hold tears anymore? I let some of them go down... Almost one year... since I saw her alive last time, the last moment we were so close to each other, at an airport... Playing with a trolley, singing songs in Turkish language, although she did not understand anything. Last moments of ten dream days.  We have a deep word in our language. It is "hasret". It means missing, longing, nostalgia... A feeling for a beloved who is far away... And the title of the song I listened many times throughout the time I spent in Indonesia. We slept in two houses beside each other. She went to her house, I went to my room everynight. Those nights were so long for me. I was listening the song "hasret", looking forward to see the sunlight and hear her voice calling me... You can say "your times is coming again. you are so near to see her again." But as the time gets closer, this feeling hurts me more. I feel as if at the same airport, those tears filling inside my eyes again. I'm trying to hold for a while but can't stop some of them going down... Hey Audia! My beloved... Yes you seem so near to me on this screen. But that doesn't satisfy me. I saw you once, I will feel this "hasret" until the next time... I hope this upcoming Ramadhan can let us make a more clean break for our love and bring us closer to the real beloved Allah (swt)...

[thekursuns]

Let me tell you something...

"Writing again? :) Actually at the first glace, the desire inside me to write seemed highly weak... But it was so determined and didn't lose its hope even when I realized I'd already forgotten our password of tumblr account. I didn't act lazy and searched whole our whatsapp conversation history and got the password. Alhamdulillah :) Having this desire again is a special feeling. Ehemm ehem... Ladies and gentlemen... Mustafa is reporting from Ankara, on a sweat night, after spending all his phone credit in order to call another phone on another country, another place of the world, highly far. However, the voice on the other side of the phone was worth of every earthly things, the voice I haven't heard for a long time and missed. There is fact that is known by everone. And many use this fact as a sentence within their daily lifes. "Life is not going on as you planned". That's highly true. You make some plans, have some dreams but cannot make it true or they may be made true in a better form. There is something to learn here that all plans are made by Allah and its hard for you to predict it exactly. I had some dreams, but HE gave me the better. A different life, a perfect spouse and an adventure. She had some dreams, but HE gave her more than she expected. We had some dreams, made some plans... So, what was the result of our common dreams and plans? I even don't know yet. I just know that once again HE will give more and more than we expect. A few weaks ago, I learned that someone will come from Indonesia to Turkey. She was in contact with Ms. Greenie, I think you all know who Ms. is :) This news relieved me of paying huge amounts for sending my birthday gifts for her. Just check other posts of this blog to see the stuff I sent, she already shared. I chose all especially for her. But there was another thing in that packet which may be the most special one. I call it the most special, because it has the potential to make our dreams come true earlier than we ever expected." These are my sentences... about one normal and one small-sized cards I sent to my future mother-in-law. In order to ask her permission about our marriage, encourage her to let it become soon and ensure that her daughter will be a queen for me. You can ask the reason why I didn't completed my sentences. I don't know actually, just didn't want or didn't find what to write or didn't guess the future. But today something happened... Our stubborn mother decided to read my letter :) And with her husband, my future father-in-law. (I love them both :) ) we decided to live this moment together on skype, waited so long for father to come... more nervous as the time passed... Finally he came, I was looking in the eyes of my love. She was nervous too, maybe more than me. It took so long to finish reading, I wrote so long, with whole my heart and with my bad handwriting... My second mom also thinks so :) They read it together, my mom and my dad, silently... We kept waiting... waiting nervous... until she wrote a word... "agree..." "accept!" "What she mean?" I thought inside... All feelings stopped working, just like the first time I saw her alive. I was in shock, maybe she too... Some tears came from the eyes of mom, dad was ready too, so their daughter too, looked at me with full eyes... They are not a rich family, they just spent much money for going to hajj, they have some problems, have 4 children still studying. But they accepted, let us marry soon. They don't have money, I don't have too. But we have a good intention, we call it "niyet" and they call "niyat". The only thing that make us different, the difference of us is just like this one letter. Maybe I told before, my feelings at the time she said "yes" to me. Be sure that I'm feeling the same, I'm feeling the same burden on my shoulders. I thought like "what will I do now? How will I go so far, to indonesia. How will I find the money for ticket?". Many questions on my mind... It's really like that time. Just with some harder questions... "How will we marry? How will pay all expenditures for our wedding? Where will we live? " and many others... But I believe, everything will be good. Like the first time I felt this burden, I will do my best to make our dreams true. I will ask help from Allah, not anyone else. He will give the best for us and for our families. Inshaa Allah... Just keep hope. Just be patient. Just love more... I love you Audia, I will love you for an eternal life... I love my parents and my second family... Keep calm, we will marry soon... Inshaa Allah... Mustafa

[thekursuns]

About her...

I’m writing on a night. A night we both couldn’t sleep… The reason of my insomnia is her, while hers is laziness :) What’s that laziness? She preferred just adding hot water to some Turkish coffee... In a big mug :o Made her awake for a whole night…  A night made me cry twice, watching a short movie about long distance relationship. I praised to Allah… Our distance is just in this world… What if one of us were in the other world?

This story began so long ago… in the first assembly of existence, bezm-i elest…  Where Allah Almighty created the souls. Her eyes touched to mine just for a moment, when she was looking around… That’s why I feel the same every time I look at them.

There’ll be no action in this writing of me; it’ll just be about her. The woman changing everything, at least, changing me. So how was she? How was I before? How am I now? How she made this?

She was a young girl, from Indonesia. More brown than her friends. Because she is a backpacker, and doesn’t carry an umbrella everywhere she goes :) She is short actually, but her height is enough in Indonesian standards. She is really active, loves climbing and backpacking, taking responsibilities although she sometimes does not find the strength to hold them. But she is strong enough to cope with all.

She loves nature. All beings created by Allah, except for the dogs. Maybe because of her mazhab, she is syafeii. She loves flowers, especially roses, but tulips more… She is in love with tulips. She loves smiling, sometimes laughing.

She loves children, especially orphans. She sometimes visits them, prepare food for street children in some special days, her birthday for example. That may be the reason, she has a child inside.

She loves ice-cream. But she is so easy to get sick. She has a thin body, and weak. She is like a tulip actually… a weak one, fragile…

She is a little bit narcist as the phrase goes. She loves taking her own photos. She has many of them :)

She is thrifty, doesn’t have a passion for expensive things or luxury. She can turn simple things to a beauty, with her beauty inside and hand skills.

Sometimes she is changeable… gets angry, cry, smile, be happy… in a while that’s not really long. She is so sobby, easy to cry.

She is a good muslim… has a strong faith inside, prays 7 times a day. Believes in the magic of duha prayer, and loves praying tahajjud, in the darkest times of the night.

She loves music, especially in English language… She learned some of her English from songs, that’s why she has a bad English J

She loves green. She says it’s the color or jannah, where we believe we will live an eternal life. The color of my eyes too :) But she is friend with all other colors too…

She can be brave if needed, so frank sometimes… can tell easily if someone insisting on doing something that disturbs her kindly but striking sometimes.                                                                                                           

 She knows that her family comes before anything else. She is in love with them, studying for them, will work for them.

She loves my country, Türkiye… Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia, dondurma, tulips, people… She has a dream to fly here. She has many dreams actually. She follows them, never gives up. That makes her different than others around her, good or bad….

So…

Her love for my country made us meet, gave a start to our journey already planned by Allah…

Her dreams… brought her into my dreams and made us have the same dreams one day, made her a good dream for me, never to forget…

Her love for green made us seek an eternal life, in a green world following a colorless one…

Her bad English… gave us a chance to have our own language. Bahasa Dea I call it, the best language we understand each other.

Her faith made me closer to Allah, whom we both pray every day, to accept our love.

Her talent for creating beauties with simple things… It really made me, a simple man like me, build a beautiful love for her.

She is easy to cry, sensitive…. So am I. I promised to her, I will cry whenever she cries and I will smile whenever she smiles.

She loves children. That’s why I discovered the child again, who was deep inside.

Her love for a tulip, made me fall in love…

She is the woman who changed me, who made me a better man, who will complete the other half of my deen…

  Our story began with the existence of our souls, so will end with their evanescence…

If there is any…

[thekursuns]

Oh baby baby it's a wild world, I'll always remember you like a child, girl.... #catstevens

[thekursuns]

Our story from my point...

Distance...

Long distance...

Impossible?

How can I call our story? I can find many words if I think for a while... Forget it; I just want to share some feelings. Just feelings... I've been thinking for a few days about what would I write. I had a desire to write, but I really don't know what happened to me after translating and reading all of Dea's post... You know I also just learned something about us, from that post. I don't know what happened to my desire, but I didn't feel like writing tonight... I won't post it maybe, just send to her...

  Has been more than one year. I saw a pair of eyes. Shining.... With a smile, as beautiful as the eyes.

  I couldn't realize the feeling at that time. I was just amazed by her eyes and smile. A brown girl. From Indonesia... Yes, it's her... Added me on facebook, just for fun maybe. To some extent, she achieved her goal. We enjoyed a great fun together. If we forget our hard times. She knows it well, because I wrote to her before, when I declared my love. I don't like one kind of people who add every people on facebook, just to have many friends. Add (want to be friend) but never talk. It was just nonsense for me.

  Actually that year, second year of my education in Ankara was highly busy and I didn't access to internet every time I needed, and I used facebook just rarely. One day when I wanted to check my fb account, I saw a friend request, from a foreigner girl... Who was she? I was a little bit surprised and tried to guess the reason why she added me. I saw we had two mutual friends. But I didn't find a reason. I looked at her photos... WOw! There are many... I started to look... look... look... looked so much. Many of them were with friends. Most of them were cute girls wearing hijab. But... One smile and a pair of eyes... Yes, there was something different with them. I don't know what but I know so well that they were different from the others, maybe just for me...

  I waited for a while. Maybe she could tell the reason why she added me. Waited for about 2,5 months :) Then I started to greet... She'd written "Knows Turkish Language" in her information. So I guessed she could speak Turkish and decided to greet her in Turkish;

"-Merhaba"

"-hello Dea or what your friends call you... I just wanted to talk in order not to imprison you only to the "friends" frame and I’ll be pleased if you reply."

"-hei mustfa”

I sent a few more messages but she was busy or LAZY to answer me :)

  "I understood that you'll not answer unless I ask twice I think the Indonesian don’t like talking much"

  We talked just a few more sentences... Until something happened. I really don't know the reason, really don't know. But I saw a dream. We were sitting on a floor with some Indonesian and Turkish boys and girls. I don't remember the faces well. But I felt one of them was her... Dea. She called my name in my dream "-Mustafa"... But there were two Mustafa in that place. I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know why I saw such a dream. Really couldn't understand the reason. And I really don't know how I found the brave to tell this dream to her... Maybe she would think I was lying, maybe she would think I liked her... So the second one happened :)

  This dream... really changed everything. Everything in my life, in her life. She started to talk more with me. Asked about my dream, what I saw? Why I dreamed about her? I didn't reply well, because I also didn't know the reason. I just told "subliminal"... She said the same sentence two times "Maybe you like me" and laughed... Actually I got angry at that time. "uhh... what a brave girl! we just met and started to talk, how she could say this to me?!" but I replied her kindly. I didn't say "I don't like you" because it would be a lie :D I just said " :) what made you laugh such way. I didn’t say I like you. And I think it would be not funny even if I had said. Would it? :) "

  The turning point in my life, and in our friendship. We started to talk more and more, day by day...

  Knowing her better made my feelings stronger and deeper. A cheerful girl knowing how to enjoy this life, and having a faith inside. There is a different word in Indonesian language: "kepo". The meaning is like being curious about someone and trying to know every detail. I really "kepo" about her so much. I looked every photo, try to understand every status she shared. First on facebook, then on twitter. Everything was going well, I liked her more and more as the time passed. But there was another thing that made me really fall in love with her... It was her desire to touch a flower, tulip. She was so innocent, so pure. In love with a flower, tulip. My country's... She made me fall with her words and innocence. You may find it strange but I spent many hours searching international florists to find a tulip to send her... But I couldn't, I just promised that I would give her one if she comes to my country.

  We started to share many things... Watched same movies, listened same songs, talked about love, marriage, even polygamy. I know it was obvious from my attitude towards her that I was in love. But I was so shy to tell her. Sometimes I felt she was so close to me, and she also liked me. But if it was just a delusion? If there was someone in her heart? If If If If... There were many questions in my mind. They were hard times for me, I wanted to be sure about her, but I was so confused. We grew our friendship... And I found two counselors for me :) My dear friends Enise and Sefa :) They were my oceans to pour my heart out...

  She was in love with Turkiye, I was in love with her. She had a dream, to marry a Turkish. My dream was marrying her. Six months as two close friends... All our experience was so exciting, step by step...

  Every time I saw a message on my Facebook, I hoped it was her... "Dea!". I was happy like a child when she sent sms to me. Just a selam from Indonesia :) One day I sent a message to her on fb, as usual. She said "Hey! Use whatsapp". "Whatsapp??" what was it??  She wanted me to greet her saying "whats up?"... I was confused.

  "Ok. Whats up?"...

"Use whats up Mustafa..."

"Ok whats up then?"

"We can connected :) "

  I really didn't understand anything. I made a search... Omg :D It was a chatting software working on smart phones. But I didn't have a smart phone :/ So...? I was dying to talk with her every time... So I had to buy a smart phone! I decided.

  "Ok wait. I will buy a new phone and use in a few days"

  She was shocked to hear this and asked "Just for me or your wish?"

I can swear that it was just for her. But I said "Both" :)

"Oh my god :o" she just said...

I bought a smart phone. Samsung. Looking like hers :) We started to chat on whatsapp... She said "use Line"... "So?", "We can talk" ... Ok. I downloaded and started to use. One morning, she called me via Line. Oh Allah! I was so excited! I just woke up! My voice was so really bad! I didn't up her call... She called again and again. I up :) But we couldn't hear each other... There was something wrong. We tried another time, failed again... But there was another feature of this software :) Sending voice message. I sent my voice to her. She replied... I cannot explain my feelings. Really exciting, beyond limits. My hands were shaking, my heart was about to go out of my chest! Oh Allah... I felt that she was also excited! You can't guess my feelings when she recorded a video for me, nor I can explain...

  All was well. We were sharing many things. We were three close and good friends now. She, I and Sümeyya :) Her little cookie :) So my oceans? What was their opinion? They forced me so much, encouraged. But I was so afraid. If I was wrong? If I was just a normal friend for her? "Who can share such things with a normal friend!" said one of my oceans :) But I was still confused. Because everything was not good actually. What was the problem? Other men... And an ex... Just a tweet, and a man who wrote a poem for her. "Ok I failed! There is another in her heart!". My oceans... Where were they? What happened to their advices? All didn't work. I lost. So I got a helping hand. It was my ocean again. "Ok! You go on not talking with her... So another man can win!". Oh Allah... What could I do if such a thing would happen? Just because I'm a coward! But I was still confused...

  My feelings got bigger and bigger inside. A burden on my shoulders... I couldn't feel the strength to hold this anymore. I remembered a conversation between us. A sweet conversation that made my heart ready to fly...

  "boys must be brave enough"

"woman must be strong to wait"

"are u strong enough?"

"insyaAllooh"

  She was strong. But was I brave enough? Yes I was... I decided to tell... Tell everything, tell I love her, I wanna marry her... Now the question was "when?" and "how?"... I had to choose the best time and way. It was so near to her birthday. Yes! I found the time! Her birthday... I decided to tell, although my dear friend Sümeyya drew a desperate picture for me, about this :P :) And although she found a Turkmen studying in her campus, just for fun but making me confused... I met that man later in Indonesia. Really nice man sharing the same world-view with me...

  A few days before her birthday. I asked help from my dearest friend, Birol :) He accepted. We would meet and do something for me, maybe a video, maybe another thing. I searched for a bouquet of tulips in Ankara. But it was not tulip season. So I bought roses, different colors... I looked so strange with a bouquet of roses in Kızılay, walking alone... I went to Birol's house. It was an awkward scene :D His friend opened the door, saw me with flowers and a pepee doll :D was really funny :D we spent some time... Ok! It was time to write something. I took a paper and a pen, went to another room. Just wrote what I was feeling... From the beginning. So simple but they were all what I felt. Ok. Just this...

  The most exciting times of my life. Waiting for her birthday to come. Yes, it came finally. But I couldn't find a time to write my letter in a better form. There were just a few minutes for her birthday to end. I wrote, and sent to her. She was sleeping and I was busy. I came home late, thinking about her answer... I was so ready for a "no" but hoping for a "yes". Just a "yes" would make me the happiest man ever.

  The time came... She woke up. Read my letter. "So brave this time"... Yes! I was brave, I found the courage to tell everything. She just said "I accept your feelings to me"... So?? What does it mean?? Oh Allah! Did she say "yes" to me? Yeah, I can say it was "yes"... She was just afraid about our distance. She was right. It was impossible for her to wait for me forever...

  So what would I do? I never planned this before. I never thought what would happen if she say "yes" to me. I really didn't know what to do. We just went on talking, trying to know us better.

  But... Those sweet times, the happiest times of my life got bitter. There was a sentence she repeated every day. "Don't hope too much". How? How could I do this? We were so far. She was afraid of a new scar from another man. she didn't want to hope so much in order not to be sad at the end. And one day, another man came out. Maybe in love with her. He wanted to spend time with her. She asked me permission. I gave some advice. Just this. she did another way. She said "yes" to me, but it was not like we were in relationship, not like I dreamed before. Sabar... The only thing that showed us these is my sabar (patience) at that time. I don't know how I found that strength to be patient like that. I shared my feeling with a friend, Sümeyya, her cookie, my friend. "I think it will not last for so long". "There is nothing to do then..." she said. She had to give a decision. A man from a country, far away... And another, so close to her, and serious.

  But some things started to change... Maybe I prayed so much. Allah gave her love to me. She changed. Really changed. I was about to cry in front of my friends during a class, when she said "I love you" to me for the first time... In an unexpected time. All was becoming better. My patience gave its fruits. And the climax. Our first skype call. I was travelling, waiting for a bus. I went into a restaurant, ordered some food and opened my laptop, to see her. For the first time. It was a dream night. We were so shy. Smiling to each other. Everything was so nice... so sweet. We closed the skype, but opened a new page in our life. She cried, I don't know why. She cried for me. We cried, in another time, together... I was on the bus, a stranger beside me, my hands full of tissue... We cried so long, looking at each other. We cried many times. We had many memories, although just on skype... Although we just lived all in a screen.

  As our love grew, either the challenges along with it. We had bigger problems now. Families, flight, money, marriage... Both the families were reluctant at first. So what could help us again? Patience... Patience helped us again, to struggle against all problems. I collected money, she convinced her family, step by step. Many people didn't believe us. Didn't believe we will meet one day. Some didn't want us to be together. But we were determined. We had already built our future. Gave the names of our children. We both knew that we would kill this distance, we just tried to keep calm.

  The time came. All arrangements were done. Passport, ticket, money and support of some friends, families. Gifts for my second family, and some money to buy two rings that will show we belong to each other, we promised to each other. We call it "söz" in Turkish language. When a man proposes to the family of a woman, if they accept him, they give promise to each other, and wear a ring to show that.

  I was so excited the night before my flight. I booked my ticket from Düzce to İstanbul for an early time. I couldn't sleep that night. The last sahur night of Ramadan. I don't remember how many times I jumped out of my bed. I cried listening a song. "Hasret". It's a special word for our people. That's the feeling when you miss someone, someone far from you. Someone who you love. Would this "hasret" end? Would we meet just a few hours later? I didn't sleep, nor did she. I took my bus to Istanbul. I arrived so early, waited many hours, and completed all the process. I was on plane. For the first time, for a long journey. For her...

  I got a new friend on the plane, a nice man whose name is Ömer. He just married with a Malaysian woman. We were about to arrive at KL. Kuala Lumpur. Now I was closer to her. I remember the words of two of my friends. "Go once. You will understand me..." "How would you pay the cost of returning?". My new friend would say something similar. The hardship of a long distance relationship. Now it was the time to fly to Jakarta. Just 2 hours to see her...

  We landed. A different place, full of green. I felt the moisture and hot weather when I got out of the plane. Passed the controls, took my visa from a rude policeman. Everything was done. A boy came near to me, when I was looking for my baggage. He was so happy to catch me, and looked at his friends like saying "I found one bule!" to them. Bule is the name Indonesian people say for foreigners, especially who have a white skin. Ok, I let him help me. we took my bag. Passed another control. I tried to give his money and send him. But he insisted on accompanying me. Tried to say something, but his English was so bad that I didn't understand anything. I was so confused at that time. I gave some money to the boy, but he wanted more. "Ok" I said. I gave more. He was still bringing me somewhere... I was looking for her. A green dress and a cream color hijab. I didn't see. I became more concerned, until suddenly I saw her in front of me.

  She had a long green dress, with a cream colored hijab. As she told me before. That was a strange time. I couldn't feel anything, or didn't understand that feeling, was unique. She was not short as I thought, her skin was really brown. We couldn't talk. Just some strange sounds...

"Heiiii"

"Aaaaa"

So awkward...

We walked towards the car, her aunty and uncle greeted me. We sat together on the back side. She gave me some coffee. Cold... She knows that hot coffee makes me sick. We talked until we arrive home. It was like a dream. So strange. we were sitting beside each other. There was no screen. No skype. No computer...

  So, that was the beginning of 10-dream-days... I found my Aisyah, he found her Fahri. Just like in our favorite movie... We lived many things in those 10 days. But it will take much time again to write, maybe another time...

  She is climbing the highest mountain in Java now,

Semangat sayang :) Aku sayang kamu Audia...