#i do also think a lot about birth order with the four of them though and how that shapes the way they engage with others

[pynkhues]

What do you think about it is about Kendall that’s it’s like, of course he’s the only one with a real friend?

It's lowkey one of my favourite choices on the show, anon, just because I think it's so revealing in more ways than one. Like, it makes sense, not just because of who Kendall is, but also who his siblings are, and the different ways they navigate their way through the world.

Interestingly, I think Connor and Shiv actually have the clearest boundary (or hurdle, depending on how you look at it) when it comes to fostering friendships, and while I think those things are different, I think they're both steeped in these factors of them as characters that shape their experiences of adulthood.

I think Connor's stems from an extremely disrupted childhood between his mother's mental health, her institutionalisation, his father's absence and reappearance, and then his being pushed into a parentified role to the golden trio at a formative age (canon explicitly tells us that too! Camping trips, fishing trips, fulfilling the father duties at Shiv's wedding before Logan decides to show up!) when he should've been away at college building his own relationships, in order to feel he had any sort of place in his family.

Similarly, I think Shiv has been soaked in hatred for her own gender since she's been born. Her relationship with her mother is strained and seems to have been weaponised by her father, she likely went to an all girls school (Spence, I imagine, which is basically the all girls equivalent of Buckley, the all boys school we know Kendall went to) and her own misogyny hampered any genuine friendship attempts. I think Shiv probably had frenemies, but nothing deeply meaningful, because vulnerability and emotional honesty is something she can't allow herself if she wants to survive in a male-dominated household festering in a male-dominated industry. I think male friendships were off the table in that sense too because Shiv seems to have always sought power in whatever way she could, and the two things she has to exert power are her name and her sexuality and at least her sexuality is hers.

I think Roman's a little harder to put a pin in in that sense, because I think he's a little bit of both of them, and a whole lot his own thing. I think he's experienced a part of Connor's disrupted childhood by having been shipped away to school and for his physical abuse, and I think he's experienced a part of Shiv's self-loathing for a part of his identity he can't face up to, but I also think Roman on paper should have friends. Roman's funny and insightful and (most of the time) the right sort of mean, and he's no more self-defensive than the rest of them, but I think the reason comes down to the biggest difference between him and Kendall:

Roman can be honest without being vulnerable, whereas Kendall can be vulnerable without being honest.

Roman as a character isn't actually particularly duplicitous. He can absolutely be an asshole, but he doesn't play to what people want in the way that both Kendall and Shiv (and even to an extent, Connor) do. His moments of vulnerability though are rare, often private, often, still, fleeting and guarded, while his moments of honesty are more frequent, yet often just ugly and naked and there. He fronts to it, and takes it, and usually tells the other person to take it too, which is what he did with Gerri and Tabitha and even Lawrence way back at the start of the series.

Kendall's not an honest person, but he is someone who's inherently vulnerable, and I think it pulls people to him, despite themselves. We've seen it in real time with Naomi and even Greg, and retrospectively with Rava, Stewy and Frank. He can break, he can curl in a lap or bury a head in a shoulder while still telling half truths or nothing at all. God, probably one of the best examples is in 2.04 when he pulls Shiv into a hug while talking around what she actually wants to hear.

Kendall lets people mop up the blood while he either tries to hide, ignore or justify the wound, and I think that vulnerability lets people feel a degree of intimacy with him and protectiveness of him that becomes muddied as they discover that Kendall is inherently a dishonest person and an addict, as it seems most characters in this show have learnt the hard way. After all, discovering that he's not told you a whole truth doesn't erase the memory of the weight of his head against your shoulder.

[rainba]

Luka gets in heat you say 👀 what is he like when he is in it and how long does it takes? :3 (And also when is it in the year?)

Yesyes,, his heats start in late December/January, and usually they last about 3 weeks! ^^;; ((Sometimes he has to use up all his vacation days during those weeks… Or paid time off, if it’s considered a ‘condition’ of sorts. Either that or he just works from home and files lots of paperwork for job projects and stuff!)) 

And, man,, during his heats he gets clingy. Like, to an insane degree. He completely forgets the concept of "personal space".

When he goes to bed? He’ll cuddle up close and wrap his tail around you, preventing you from escaping him. If you need to get up in the middle of the night for any reason, he’ll be following you around like a lost puppy while always keeping his hands on you.

When he works from home and does paperwork? You’ll be forced onto his lap, warming his cock and giving him all the attention he needs. He’ll occasionally just mindlessly grind against you and might grope your thighs while he works, sometimes leaving love bites on your neck and shoulders… (*/▽＼*)

Showers? You’ll be taking them with him! Watching TV or scrolling through your phone? He’ll be cuddling you the entire time. Etc. etc. Oh, and on top of that– you won’t be allowed to leave the house. Ever. Groceries will be delivered to his front door, essentials will be ordered online, etc! Hope you enjoy being inside 24/7!! (⌒_⌒;)

Also, if you even think about moving more than six feet away from him, he’ll instinctually start growling at you. And if you ignore him? Expect him to sink his sharp fangs into you!! (He is a little obsessed with seeing his bite marks on your body....)

Plus,, really-fun-fact!!: it doesn’t matter if his beloved is a guy, or if his beloved just can’t get pregnant in general, Luka will insist on breeding you. Whenever he gets particularly horny during his heats, his brain will turn into absolute mush and all he wants to do is just. Cum inside you, over and over again… Multiple times a day. All while telling you that he’s gonna make you bear his children. It’s just in his instincts to breed his partner, poor Luka really can’t think straight when he’s in heat!!

However, if his darling can get pregnant, you’ll definitely have to sneak birth control around him… Even though it’d be really difficult, considering how he’s around you 24/7. If he catches you taking it, he'll punish you for it. Gets really hurt by it and becomes all sensitive. Like... 'what do you mean you don't want to have my kids? Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?' (´-ω-`) .... Then he proceeds to fuck you four times in a row. ☆⌒(> _ <)

When Luka's heat is over, he’ll often act reclusive and ashamed of himself for a while. He can’t believe he has such little control over himself during those 3 weeks… All those embarrassing things he said and did… Shudder…

Soooooo he might avoid you for a few days. But he gets over it eventually (´ ω `♡)

[avatar-anna]

The Haircut

just a little (long) blurb about the new haircut! part of the young!dadrry universe, which can be found on my masterlist

enjoy!!

“Hey, Mama?”

“Yeah, H?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

“So, why did you want me to cut your hair? I thought Jeff asked you about it before we left London.”

Harry tried not to move much because his hair was between Y/n’s fingers as she snipped away. “He did.”

“And you didn’t get it done beforehand because...”

“I like when you do it,” he said simply.

Y/n didn’t bother hiding her blush. During lockdown, she took on the mantle of keeping Harry and the rest of the Styles family groomed. Afterwards, Harry went back to getting his hair styled professionally, but she thought him asking her to do it was sweet.

“Your fans are gonna riot,” she said, running a hand through his hair to find the next strand to trim. “Not to mention your children.”

Harry’s fans weren’t the only ones who loved his longer hair. Each one of their kids, from Simone all the way down to little Natalia, loved their dad’s hair, gripping a piece of it in their tiny fists whenever he held one of them in his arms.

He merely shrugged, as much as he could with Y/n still cutting his hair. “I feel like it puts me in the right mindset for a show.”

Y/n and Harry sat in silence after that; she had a feeling he was enjoying having her full attention, a rare occurrence now that they had six children.

Six. Some days Y/n still had a hard time wrapping her head around it. They started their family when they were so young—just teenagers—and now Simone was ten years old.

But the decision to expand their family wasn’t made until Harry and Y/n were older, after Harry wasn’t in One Direction anymore, and the rules weren’t so strict, and they felt like they were ready to take care of another baby—as ready as anyone can be, anyway.

So then came Collette, and then the twins, Julian and Maeve, shortly after. Y/n was sure that four children was plenty, had told Harry she would go back on birth control again when she found the time. He pouted, but agreed, especially since they were now raising two infants at the same time instead of just one. But then lockdown happened, and Harry was around a whole lot more than he normally was, and Geneva was the result. Their last child, Natalia, also came as a surprise, though no one but Harry and Y/n thought so. But she was the perfect addition to their family, and Harry and Y/n couldn’t have been happier.

“Are you all coming tomorrow night?” Harry asked, breaking the silence.

Y/n had moved to face Harry in order to get some of the pieces right at his hairline. “It’s a school night, my love, remember? But we’ll be there Friday.”

Harry nodded, understanding, though Y/n knew he loved when all of his babies watched him perform. Now that Simone and Collette were old enough to be in school, Y/n and the kids couldn’t travel with Harry unless it was during summer or winter break. They’d had lots of discussions about homeschooling so the family could be together more, but ultimately decided their children needed as much of a normal upbringing as possible, and honestly, homeschool would just mean more work for Y/n when she was already juggling so much.

“Can you call the sitter?” he asked.

Frowning a little, Y/n paused what she was doing and tipped her husband’s chin up with a finger. She could sense there was something he was thinking about, but wasn’t saying. “What’s wrong?”

Harry met her gaze, his hair now short and cleared away from his face. Y/n wouldn’t lie, she loved when his hair was on the longer side too, but she did think this haircut suited him as well.

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Nothing’s wrong. I just like when you’re there. You missed the entire last leg of the tour. And I know why, but I just miss having you, all of you, around.”

“I know. We miss you too, H,” Y/n sighed, her heart squeezing at the look on her husband’s face.

Harry was quick to pull her into his lap, content to wait before finishing up his haircut. He tipped forward until his nose was pressed against her chest and breathed in deeply, and Y/n held him tightly.

She knew why he was so down without him having to express himself fully. Since Simone was a baby, he always became anxious about leaving for long periods of time, and the next leg of his tour was booked out for the next few months. It was a long time, especially when young kids were involved.

Raising a family while Harry traveled the world wasn’t easy. There were of course the good moments where Harry was able to spend time with Y/n and the kids, using old tactics to sneak around and find someplace private while they spent the day together. And Y/n loved seeing the world too. She loved seeing Harry perform and point him out to Collette or Maeve or Julian as he danced onstage. “That’s your Dadda,” she would say, helping them dance or clap along to the music.

And so things slowly went back to normal, or perhaps better than normal. They were with life at home and learning the delicate balance their family operated on. He loved music and performing, but all of that could wait.

But then of course there were the more difficult moments, where Y/n and the kids had to stay home while Harry toured. There were arguments about missing recitals and games and whether those tacked on extra nights on tour were really worth it when Y/n felt like she was raising their kids by herself. “I had dreams of my own, you know,” she said once. She regretted it immediately, especially when she would never change her life for a moment. But it had to be said. Y/n felt like she was on an island by herself while her husband travelled all over the world on huge tours. And when he was home, he was working on new music. Things were supposed to be different after One Direction. Harry promised that life would be different, but they weren't, and Y/n was going to keep putting up with it.

Harry came home from tour and more harsh words were shared. He tried to convince her that he could fix everything, but she was way past believing in him, and then they were both alone. Harry eventually came home, determined to make things right. He felt like a part of him would always be making up for letting his family down. Y/n tried to tell him that wasn't necessary anymore, especially when she became pregnant again because she wouldn't be having her fifth child with him if she didn't believe in him, but he wouldn’t hear it. “We’re a team,” he’d said. “We’ve always been a team. Letting you down will always be my greatest regret. I’m sorry.”

But things were a little different now. Half their children were older and Natalia wasn’t even walking yet, though all of them needed stability. With just one look at Harry, Y/n knew what was bothering him.

“You’re a great dad, H.”

And since they were as alone as they could be raising six kids, Harry felt comfortable to shake his head against her. Y/n continued to hold him, letting him get out whatever he needed to.

“I—I don’t want to feel like a stranger in my own home, my own family.”

There were times where Harry would come home from a long tour stretch and Geneva or Maeve or Julian wouldn’t like to be held by him. Because to them, as infants, he was unfamiliar. It killed Harry, the realization that he’d been gone too long that his own children would cry when he picked them up or look at him without an ounce of recognition. It was why shortly after his first tour as a solo artist he decided to take a break from touring and making music. The fight with Y/n was part of it, but at the end of the day, Harry just wanted to be a dad, and wanted to give Y/n a chance to pursue a career after being a full time stay at home mom for so many years. He had been so used to One Direction’s style of working in the industry, which was to say that you never stopped. But it put a strain on his relationships then, and it was doing the same thing as a new solo artist. He wanted a different life, a different approach to his passion, so he decided to slow down, focus on being a dad and a partner. It was how Y/n eventually went back to school and picked up styling hair.

She saw all of it written on Harry’s face, all the insecurity and fear. Each one plaguing him despite how proud she was of his success as an artist and a father. He didn’t give himself enough credit, not nearly enough. Their family had this life because of him.

“I’ll figure something out,” Y/n promised, kissing his forehead.

Harry shook his head, the ends of his hair tickling her nose. “You don’t have to, Mama. I know school is—”

“Family is important too,” she said, knowing what he had been about to say.

He nodded, but didn’t say anything else.

Y/n kissed him once on the lips before standing up again. School would be out soon, and Geneva and Natalia would be waking up from their naps any minute now. As usual, Y/n would pick up while Harry took care of the little ones, as the knowledge of the Styles family remained a secret all these years. Some people knew, of course. The first time the secret had unintentionally been revealed being when Simone gave a report about her family tree, and her teacher called Y/n in for a meeting to tell her that her daughter believed her dad was a world famous musician. That was quite the parent-teacher conference, but she and Harry handled it. So teachers and administration knew, and NDAs were handed out left and right to protect the children’s privacy, but it was easier for Y/n to pick up the kids from school as opposed to Harry.

“And...There! All done.”

Y/n handed a mirror to Harry so he could inspect her handiwork. She’d seen his hair done enough that she knew what he liked, but she opted for something ever so slightly different, leaving a little more hair on the top so it would curl on his forehead some. She thought it framed his face better than when he pushed it back.

“I look younger,” he said, eyes still on the handheld mirror.

“You look handsome,” Y/n replied. “Or you will once you shave that thing off your lip.”

That definitely got his attention. “Hey.”

“I’m kidding,” Y/n teased. She kissed him on the cheek. “Kind of.”

“Come here,” Harry demanded.

He grabbed ahold of his wife’s waist before kissing her all over. His stubble scratched her neck, her jaw, her cheeks, as Harry moved around, planting loud, opened-mouthed kisses everywhere he could.

Y/n shrieked and giggled, trying to push away from him, but to no avail. “Harry! Ha—”

A cry sounded from the baby monitor sitting on the coffee table. Geneva. Harry and Y/n paused, waiting to see if she would turn over and go back to sleep or if she was truly awake.

Another cry, followed by a different one from another monitor.

“I’ll get Natalia,” Y/n said, and this time Harry let her go.

“GiGi,” Harry replied.

Like a team breaking from a huddle, they went to their daughters’ rooms to bring an end to the crying and met back downstairs to change and feed them. By now, Y/n and Harry were practically a well-oiled machine. They moved around each other to fill bottles and strap the girls into high chairs, and finished with singing‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ when Geneva showed signs that she was about to cry. It was a system that worked for many years when they were at home together, and one that was perfected during lockdown. Before long, Geneva was sucking on a pouch while Natalia slowly brought yogurt chips to her mouth.

Harry raised his arm up, and Y/n met him halfway for the high five. Distance or no, they always made a good team.

Once the girls were fed, Y/n began getting ready to pick up the rest of their children. Harry kept the girls entertained, but she felt his eyes track her throughout the kitchen. Once she was done, she went over to him and gave him a kiss.

“How about we go to the venue for rehearsal, stay for the opening act and the first couple songs, and then I’ll take the kids home early,” she said against his hair, rubbing a hand up and down his arm.

“Really?”

She kissed his cheek. “I told you I would figure something out.”

Harry grinned down at her. “You always do.”

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Later that night, the Styles residence was filled with its usual commotion.

“I want Elsa!”

“We watched Frozen last week!”

“Elsa!”

“Mama, can we have chocolate?”

“I want to sit next to Daddy!”

“Move over!”

Harry tipped his head back against the couch and prayed for patience.

He thought a movie would be a fun way to end the night, and while he wasn’t sure why Y/n gave him a look of caution before, he certainly did now. His wife, of course, was upstairs putting Geneva and Natalia to bed while he got the movie set up, though now he guessed Y/n was letting him deal with all the chaos while she hid.

But Harry didn’t particularly care. He loved being home and being part of all the craziness, even the silly fights over what movie they were going to watch.

Julian, the only boy in the Styles family, sat in his father’s lap quietly, almost like he was just waiting for Simone and Maeve to stop fighting over what they were going to watch. His hair was long and curled at the ends, a result of him crying and screaming every time Y/n tried to take him to get his hair cut or do it herself. So they eventually gave up and let Jules grow it out.

“What do you want to watch?” Harry asked his son.

Julian shrugged and curled himself against Harry’s chest. It seemed he was content to just be with his dad, and Harry couldn’t help but agree.

However, when Maeve tried to rip the remote out of Simone’s hands, Harry finally stepped in.

“Alright. Saturday we’ll watch Elsa. Tonight we’ll let Simone pick. Come here, Maeve.”

Maeve was a spitfire like her mother, loud where Jules was quiet. He never imagined a preschooler to be so opinionated, but she always had something to say.

Giving up, Maeve took the spot on Harry’s right. Collette was on his left, tracing the tattoos on his arm absentmindedly. Simone finally settled on a movie, and by some kind of miracle, the house went quiet as the opening credits rolled.

He hadn’t been doing a typical tour recently, which helped him be at home more, but being at home was almost as exhausting as being on the road. He watched the cartoon with Julian on his chest, Maeve and Collette on either side of him, but before long, his eyes began to droop, each blink becoming more prolonged than the last until he didn’t open them again.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Y/n came downstairs once GiGi and Natalia were fast asleep. She had lunches to pack and breast milk to pump before tucking the rest of her little ones into bed, but it wouldn’t take too long.

Half expecting utter chaos, Y/n’s eyes widened at the scene in front of her. Harry was fast asleep, and so was Julian, who rested on top of him, one hand up by his dad’s neck like he was reaching for something that wasn’t there anymore. Maeve dozed beside Harry, and Collette was getting close. Simone was the only one wide awake and watching the movie, her choice by the looks of it.

Y/n went over to her oldest and kissed the top of her dark hair. “How long has everyone been out?”

“Dad lasted about twenty minutes, I think.”

“A record for him,” Y/n mused.

Simone grinned wide. Seeing how long Harry lasted during a movie was something of an ongoing joke between them, and Y/n liked to think her oldest daughter liked that they shared something that was just between the two of them.

“Will you help me get Maeve upstairs?”

Nodding, Simone paused her movie and took her sister into her arms while Y/n grabbed Collette. She took Julian up next, tucking him into his racecar bed before turning on his night light and closing the door. Harry was still out cold when Y/n came back down, but Simone was at his side while she resumed the movie.

By the time the movie ended, Y/n was wrapping up in the kitchen and Harry was stretching his arms after his impromptu nap. Blinking with bleary eyes, he said, “Sorry, bug. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Simone grinned over the top of his head at her mom, who shot her daughter a wink. “That’s okay.”

Harry looked between his two girls like he was missing something, but didn’t comment on it. “Come on. Up to bed then.”

Simone kissed her dad on the cheek, then skipped over to Y/n to do the same to her before going upstairs, leaving Harry and Y/n alone in the dark.

Looking around, Harry realized all of his children had gone to bed at some point. “I swear we have more than one kid.”

“They’re all fast asleep.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm.”

“Well then,” Harry said, his voice low after being asleep. “Might need to take advantage of this rare moment to ourselves.”

Y/n sat herself down on his lap and ran a hand through his short hair. “You know, I can’t help but agree.”

There wasn’t much talking after that. Harry was quick to capture Y/n’s bottom lip between his own, pulling her as close as she could possibly be. Y/n kissed him back, sighing as he brushed his tongue against hers again and again. She kneaded the muscles in his shoulders, gripping hard when a hand dipped beneath the waistband of her jeans.

“Love you,” Harry panted, kissing the spot where her jaw met her ear.

“Love—”

Y/n couldn’t get the words out fast enough before he was on her again, pushing her into the couch until she was spread across it.

They didn’t take it much further than that. Y/n knew Harry was too tired for more, but she didn’t mind. Sometimes kissing and touching took her back to a time when they were younger and only had one baby to look after. It made her realize that even after all these years, they were still crazy for each other.

Eventually tiredness won out, and they went upstairs, though Harry kissed Y/n’s neck the whole way to their room. It stopped, however, when they entered their bedroom and he realized they weren’t alone anymore.

“My money’s on Jules,” Harry said softly.

“Could be Collette,” Y/n countered.

They crept into the room towards the bed, and upon closer inspection, they realized Harry was right. Julian was asleep on Y/n’s side of the bed, his stuffed Mickey Mouse tucked under one arm.

Shrugging, they went about their nightly routines and got into bed. Harry kissed his wife once mumbling, “Love you, Mama,” before setting his head down on the pillow.

When Harry woke up, there were three more children in his bed, one of them on top of him completely. An excellent start to his morning, if you asked him.

[donnalawliet]

Coffee or Tea? (Five x Derek oneshot)

I really didn't like the way they handled Five's "love story" in Season 4. And even though he would have been fine without a romance too, here's my version of a Five experiencing love with a human. Not with Lila, but with Derek, Five's CIA colleague. This is set post S3 and pre S4. This is my personal addition to the Season 4 fix it movement. And even though it's set prior to that last season, I still think it counts.

I mentioned under a post that I would rather ship Five x Derek than Five x Lila. So...Here I am, doing exactly that.

Thank you @tuttle-did-it , @ashes-and-starlight and @xx-blood-lemons-xx for the initial inspiration! I hope you like it, especially you, @ashes-and-starlight . (I‘ll enjoy your Five diner fanfic when it comes out 😊)

I also wanted to thank @lookingforhappy for the post explaining why Five being a member of the CIA didn‘t make much sense. I attempted to explain some plotholes that you mentioned 😅

One last thanks goes to @i-am-tardis-locked for listening to me rambling all day, like always.

Anyway, let‘s get going!

—————————————

Summary: After being stuck in a reset universe without powers or siblings, Five joins the CIA to keep an eye on his family. There, he meets Derek and is suddenly confronted with all kinds of things he hadn't faced in years. Some of them seem uncomfortable at first, but he learns to warm up.

——————————————

Stranded in a new timeline, without his siblings or powers, Five was forced to adapt. Luckily, he was used to doing that. His father had once complimented his ability to adapt and Sir Reginald Hargreeves wasn’t exactly known for dolling out compliments for everyone and everything. In the four decades he had spent in the apocalypse, adapting to his enviroment was equal to survival. That included no longer feeling guilty for raiding corpses or no longer being picky when it came to food. The apocalypse was by no means a five star restaurant. When he transferred to the Commission, he had to adapt once more. New manners, new job, new people.

But through all of this adapting, one goal had stayed consistent. To save his family from the impending apocalypse, to go back for them. Once he left the courtyard without his siblings though, still coming to terms with the fact that he had his arm back…his goal had to adapt as well. This was no longer about actively saving his family. It was about keeping them safe. They came above everything else, not him.

Reginald had taught them a few things that back then, none of the Umbrella Academy members thought would be useful.That included obtaining legal documents, without the legal part. In the Commission, Five had sometimes watched the legal department, how they fabricated fake IDs, court orders or other documents with ease.

And even though he was nowhere near that level, he was good enough. It took him about a week to create an ID, a birth certificate and a high school diploma. All of it was a lot of work. He sometimes had to break into buildings to add himself to their records, but he didn’t care. It would be worth it in the long run.

————————————

Attending college was relatively easy in comparison, bordering on boring. Five’s father had prepared them quite well for that level of learning and in the apocalypse, he had become an expert on math and quantum physics. So a lot of the lectures ended up just being a formality.

Instead of writing things down, Five occupied himself with looking up his family. Allison was in LA with her husband, daughter and Klaus. Luther had found a new place of employment, along with Diego, who had welcomed his first daughter with Lila. Five quickly wiped at his eyes as soon as he read the announcement in the online newspaper. As much as he wished to be an uncle, he couldn’t. Not just yet.

Five finished college in record time. He didn’t attend the ceremony, even though a part of him wanted to. Only the weak need praise to carry on, he remembered his father’s words. And he didn’t have time to be weak. He had a job to do.

————————————

Protecting his siblings required sacrifices and overcoming personal challenges. That was something Five had realised a long time ago. But when he sent his application to the CIA, that realisation hit him like a ton of bricks once more. he roughly knew what a job like that was like. It required absolute loyalty, going undercover, a physical and psychological examination. All of it reminded him of the Commission. He would have an employer again, be stuck in an office instead of enjoying retirement.

Upon receiving his acceptance letter and the request to move to Washington DC for his training, Five slowly walked into his bathroom to look in the mirror. His fake birth certificate stated that he was 18, but in truth his body had just turned 16. Upon looking at his reflection though, he didn’t see himself. He saw an old man, traumatised by years of isolation and lack of things like food or personal hygiene.

“It’s going to be okay“, he whispered to himself, though it didn’t sound very convincing, “As long as they’re alright…it will be worth it.“

————————————

Throughout his training, Five felt an odd sense of numbness. He expected to feel disgusted by how much it reminded him of his training at the Academy or Commission. But there was nothing of the sort. No sense of anger towards the profiler during his psych eval, which he passed with flying colours. He knew what answers he had to give in order to be left alone. Five remembered how much the Commission profiler had bothered him, how he had hated getting his deepest insides get revealed in astonishing detail, until he had learned how to adapt.

But he felt nothing. Neither the obstacle course, examinations by a doctor or profiler really bothered him. He just went through the daily routine, like a zombie with just one goal. There was no anxiety when his test results arrived nor joy when the other cadets celebrated upon passing them. In what felt like a blink of an eye, his training was over and he was assigned jobs. And that was when he met Derek.

————————————

When Director Ribbons had announced that he wouldn’t be working alone, Five had been hesitant at first. Even back in the Commission, he had always insisted on working alone. No partner to bother him or distract him from his plans. But while the Handler had accepted this violation of protocoll, the Director didn’t.

“You’re a new and promising agent“, Ribbons had told him, without offering Five a seat to sit down in, “And despite your maturity, a partner will do you good, I’m sure of it. On undercover missions, you may go on your own, but I don’t see a reason for it in the office.“

Five bit his lip and shifted slightly. He liked being able to wear a suit again instead of the uniform that showed his knees to everyone. In a suit, people were forced to take him more seriously in some way.

“Sir, while I understand what you mean“, he hated having to take on a polite tone like that, “I really do work better alone. I’ll produce good results.“

Five wasn’t a fan of the whole respect game. But in order to stay employed, he unfortunately had to treat his boss with some level of respect, despite being much older.

Ribbons looked him over for a moment. Sometimes, Five had the feeling that his boss saw more than just an agent, but he couldn’t quite place it. Despite his request, he shook his head.

“You’ll be working with a partner. Go to your desk, he’s already waiting for you.“

Five had no other choice but to obey that order. If he protested more, it could result in another psych eval or unnecessary questions. So he simply nodded and made his way towards his desk, pushing the intrusive thoughts on how to quickly kill his boss out of his head. Ever since he had started to work at the Commission a few years ago, these thoughts refused to go away.

————————————

As soon as he entered his room, a young man stood up from his chair. If Five had to guess, he was only a few years older than himself, dressed in a dark green blazer, with a tie and light blue shirt underneath it. More casual than Five’s three piece suit, but still professional. His blonde hairstyle reminded Five a bit of the 1950s, but the glasses and soft facial features broke that illusion. Only a few seconds after entering did Five notice that he had been staring. His mind was really all over the place.

“I’m Derek Young“, his visitor eventually said after no introduction from Five came, “I’m your new partner, pleasure to meet you.“

He held out his hand to shake, a soft smile illuminating his features. Only then did Five regain his senses and shook his hand, making eye contact for the first time. He still wasn’t completely comfortable with touch, the sensation sometimes proved too much.

“Five, Hargreeves“, he replied, keeping it short and with no explanation on why he shared his last name with one of the most well known people in the world. Derek didn’t seem bothered by that cold introduction though, still smiling.

“Our boss told me quite a lot about you, Mr.Hargreeves“, Derek remarked while sorting through one of the files on the desk.

Five froze for a few moments. Not because of the first part of the sentence, he had heard that one many times. But never in his whole life had he been called Mr.Hargreeves by anyone. His siblings had called him Five, his father Number Five, the Handler and everyone at the Commission either those or Mr.Five on the rare occasion. But never Mr.Hargreeves. It didn’t feel like him, even though he was surely old enough to be called that. Still…it didn’t feel right.

“Please don’t call me that, Mr.Derek“, he told him, trying to keep his voice firm, but only being half successful. Five scolded himself for how weak he sounded. Why did a simple name break his mind?

Derek frowned for a moment, then shrugged like it was nothing.

“Very well. Is Mr.Five alright with you?“, he asked, almost carefully that time, as if testing out the waters, “Since you call me Mr.Derek.“

He had expected to not like that way of adressing him either. The Handler had called him that after all. And every time he thought of her, his stomach flipped upside down in not a good way. But surprisingly, Five felt oddly fine with it. Derek’s voice and body language was nothing like his former employer, there was no need to be alarmed in any way. He didn’t have to look up at him like he had always had to do with her and everyone else, they were roughly the same height. Five pulled himself out of his thoughts and shrugged.

“Sure, why the hell not. Do you know where in the building I can find a decent cup of coffee?“

The rush of caffeine always helped Five with distracting himself. No falling asleep, no nightmares, just work.

————————————

At first, Five had assumed that Derek would annoy him. He was much younger after all, there were still things like hope and life left in his eyes. His partner went to work with the genuine intention of helping others. He got Five coffee every morning, while he himself stuck with tea. And even though Five could never understand how one could prefer hot leaf juice over some roasted black coffee, he had to admit that Derek brought him some good coffee.

“Which machine do you go to?“, he asked one morning after taking his first sip, “No matter which part of the building I go to, all coffee tastes like absolute crap.“

Five wasn’t one for making small talk, so Derek was a bit caught off guard by the genuine curiosity. A light blush began to settle down on his cheeks and he cleared his throat a bit.

“I…I bring the coffee blend with me. I can give you the adress of the shop I go to, if that’s what you want, Mr.Five. It’s no big deal, I just thought you might enjoy it more. I can’t stand the tea they give out here either“, he replied and hid part of his face with his teacup.

For the first time in what felt like years, Five’s lip tugged upwards. It took him a moment to realise that he was smiling in  a genuine way, like an idiot. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop, a comforting warmth building up in his chest. He could barely remember the last time someone had genuinely cared about him in such a small way. Derek didn’t even like coffee, yet he brought a good blend of it to work, just so Five would feel a bit happier. The warmth in his chest moved upwards, settling in his cheeks in a similar way to Derek. He was blushing like a hormonal teenager, which he both was and wasn’t.

“Oh, I…Thank you“, he eventually managed to mumble, “That’s very kind of you. I’ll just…Go talk to our boss, he wanted something.“

Five quickly made his way out of the room, taking a few deep breaths as he leaned against the nearest wall. Ribbons didn’t even want anything, but he had needed an excuse to gather his bearings.

“Shit��get yourself together“, he whispered to himself, the taste of coffee still present on his tongue. And like every time he felt upset or overwhelmed, the last words of his former wife, Dolores, echoed through his mind: I want you to enjoy your life, Five. We had good years together, but it’s time that you learn to live without me. You fought so hard for your family, it’s time that you enjoy the results.

Five reached up as a single tear traced down his cheek, quickly wiping it away. He was a grown man, why was he so overwhelmed by this? He decided to avoid Derek for the rest of the day, he needed time to think.

————————————

A few weeks later, Five learned that if he wanted to, Derek could be just as sarcastic as he was. Ever since he had started working there, Susan had been a figurative pain in everyone‘s ass. But because she was a senior agent with a long history, almost no one dared say anything about it. One day, while waiting for their turn on the copier, she began to rant about all kinds of problems plaguing her. Five had to seriously focus on not snapping her neck, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Anyway, my son just introduced me to his boyfriend. Boyfriend?! He’s a man, how can he be attracted to another man? That’s not how it works!“, Susan exclaimed and looked at them, expecting nods or general confirming words.

Derek crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked her up and down. Five knew that look. He had given it to several idiots before.

“So you’re saying one should rather fall in love with a body than with a soul? That’s really shallow and sad“, he said and gave her a fake look of pity before grabbing the files from the desk next to the copier. While Susan still scrambled for words, Five turned towards Derek with surprise.

“Did you…Did you just…?“, he asked, lost for words for once. In response, Derek simply shrugged, a confident smile on his face.

“Somebody had to tell her, she was annoying me. Why, do you have a problem with that, Mr.Five?“

That last sentence had a certain edge to it, as if Derek was either scared or prepared that Five would say yes. However, Five shook his head almost immediately. He had been more surprised than anything else.

“No, not at all. Maybe she’ll keep her damn mouth shut for a few hours“, Five quickly deflected, still processing what had just happened. After that short conversation, they just continued with their day as if nothing had happened.

————————————

Later that evening, while reviewing his family’s files, Five’s thoughts began to wander once more. During the apocalypse, he had never really thought about his sexuality. He had Dolores, but she barely counted as a woman. He had never really felt the desire to have sex, he had more desired to just see a familiar face. Any human face, if he was being honest with himself. And the tough survival conditions didn’t leave much room to think about what he was attracted to. When he closed his eyes, he realised that he could see himself with a woman by his side just as easily as with a man.

And even though he knew how sex worked, the thought of himself having sex with anyone whatsoever left him disgusted. He vaguely remembered telling Klaus in 2019: What a disturbing glance into this thing you call a brain, when he had mentioned the topic.

Before his thoughts could go off the rails even more, Five pulled himself back to the present. He had to make sure his siblings were safe, that was why he had taken the job in the first place.

————————————

After a rather frustrating case that had taken weeks and almost made him bang his head against a wall, Five was exhausted, so was Derek.

“Would you like to catch some drinks later?“, Derek asked him as they both gathered their coats. It sounded so casual, in a way that Five could never do himself. In the last few years, Five had attempted to lower his alcohol intake, but he hadn’t completely succeeded in stopping completely.

“Oh, sure, but…I’m not a big fan of bars“, Five responded, sounding almost ashamed. He had gone to bars before, but had never been completely comfortable there. It had almost always been for work. He half expected Derek to decline as a result, mentally cursing himself for being so uptight. But surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

“That’s fine. We can go to my place, if you’d like. I don’t mind it, Mr.Five“, he said with a wink. That name had almost become a form of teasing that they used with each other. Five smirked a bit and put on his coat, a way of protecting himself from the cold November air.

“Lead the way, Mr.Derek.“

People had different types of reactions when they got drunk. Some got more angry and violent, others sad and melancholic, others happy and joyful. Five got more honest after a few drinks, dropping his walls a bit more. And after a few homemade martinis, he found himself relaxing a bit more.

“You’re quite nice“, he mumbled and took another sip from his glass, “Nicer than my family by a long shot. Why? What do you have to gain?“

Derek frowned and sat down on the couch next to him. His drinks had far less alcohol, so he was just feeling a bit tipsy.

“I’m not nice to you because I have something to gain, Five. Why would you think something like that?“ His voice got a bit softer, as if he felt that there was more behind that drunk question.

Five laughed in response, but it held no humor whatsoever. He was overwhelmed by all kinds of different feelings and thoughts.

“Because I’m a rude old man? Because I’ve never done anything to warrant friendliness from someone like you? You’re young, you could just ask for a transfer with someone who is…more like you.“ Five couldn’t care less that he had just hinted at his true age. If Derek left, it would just confirm his world view.

Derek blinked slowly as he listened to Five ramble. He couldn’t completely make sense of what he was saying, but asking would feel quite rude. So after a few seconds of silence, he set his glass down.

“You may come off as rude, yeah, but…That’s not who you are. Remember how you almost ripped Stacy’s head off because she called me a twink? You didn’t even know what it meant at the time“, Derek chuckled a bit and managed to get Five to smile as well, “I don’t care how old you are or how grumpy you can get without coffee. You deserve to be treated well.“

Five stared at him for what felt like hours, but was probably just a few seconds. He wasn’t even sure what his expression his face was making, he could be crying for all he knew. The last time he had felt close to that safe had been with Dolores in an underground bunker they had found.

He didn’t remember what came after, the alcohol sending his memory to nirvana. The next thing that Five knew, he woke up on a dark green couch underneath a knitted blanket. His head was pounding as if he was Zeus giving birth to Athena and the thirst was overwhelming. At the same time, the thought of moving was enough to make him groan.

“Shit…“, Five mumbled and lazily covered his eyes to avoid the sunlight. With it being November, that meant it must be quite late.

“Here you go“, he suddenly heard Derek’s soft voice right next to him. Slowly, Five moved his arm off his face and blinked up at him. The room was a bit darker now, thanks to the curtains. Derek was standing behind the couch so Five didn’t have to move his head too much, wearing his blue shirt without the tie or blazer. His hair wasn’t styled as neatly, it just looked fluffy and soft. But before Five could think about his hair further, his attention was drawn to what Derek was holding. A glass of water and a pill bottle, most likely aspirin.

“You’re my salvation“, Five mumbled and took both. The act of sitting up alone made him groan, but the feeling of cold water sliding down his throat made up for it. “What happened last night? After that…conversation we had.“

Derek cleared his throat a bit and sat down next to him on the couch, his expression unreadable.

“You had two more drinks, talked about your age, your ex wife, your siblings…then you threw up in my potted plant and passed out on my couch“, he explained and brushed his hair a bit more into place, “That’s it, I think.“

Five groaned and leaned back into the pillow that Derek had provided him with. He felt like he had ruined everything. The first casual relationship he had ever managed to build up with a human being that wasn’t his family or someone he had been tasked with assassinating…and he had destroyed it with alcohol.

“Shit…I really ranted a lot, didn’t I?“, he whispered, but Derek could still hear it, “I…I should go, I understand. I overstayed my welcome.“

He attempted to push himself up, his muscles aching from the hangover and hard couch he had been laying on. Though something inside of his chest ached as well. Before Five could stand up, Derek stopped him. The feeling of a hand on his shoulder was enough to make him freeze.

“Mr.Five, that’s not what I meant. You obviously needed to talk about it“, Derek took a deep breath as he looked him over, “And even though I didn’t understand half of it…You don’t need to feel ashamed.“

His words washed over Five like a wave, most of his focus still spent on the simple touch. He wanted to both pull away, overwhelmed by this simple act of comfort, but also lean into it like a starving man in the desert. So he ended up doing neither, just standing there until Derek pulled away again. Five wanted to say so much, but no words made it up his throat and through his lips. After a long and pregnant pause, he simply nodded and made his way out of the appartment. Derek didn’t stop him that time.

————————————

They didn’t talk about that incident for quite some time. For a few months, they went about their daily routine, making small jokes in between, drinking coffee and tea together in the morning. Until eventually, Five mentioned it again.

“What I said about my age, Dolores and my family…did it bother you?“

They were in the middle of sorting through reports, arguably the most boring part of their job, where it sometimes became necessary to fill the silence. Derek only glanced up for a moment before he grabbed his stapler off the desk.

“Why should it? You always seemed…more mature than others. And I’ve known about your family for months. I go through your files just as much as you go through mine.“

Five blushed a bit at the last remark. It was true, he had searched through Derek’s files on a regular basis. Maybe out of paranoia that he was working for the Commission somehow, even though that wouldn’t make much sense. And to know that Derek was doing the same…it strangely grounded him a bit.

As they continued to work in silence, Five’s mind went back to that morning when Derek had touched his shoulder. It hadn’t been an accidental or manipulative touch, it had just been a simple expression of human emotions. He recalled one time when he had been four years old, still thinking that parents were the heroes children made them out to be. They had watched a movie in which a son had hugged his father and his toddler mind had decided to recreate it. But instead of hugging him back, Reginald had pushed him away and sent him to bed without dessert.

Never trust a hug, he had sternly told his adoptive son, For it’s just another way to hide your face.

Ever since then, he hadn’t attempted to hug another human being. But that had been over five decades ago, surely it couldn’t hurt to…

“Could I try something?“, Five broke the silence once more. He hated how uncertain and young he sounded, like a teenager or child, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Derek noticed his different tone too, but decided not to comment on it. During the entire time that they had worked with each other, he had noticed that some things took more out of Five than the average person. So he simply nodded and stood up as Five approached, his arms hanging loosely at his sides until he realised what the other man was planning. Once the realisation dawned on him, he couldn’t hold back a smirk and lift his arms slightly.

It took Five a few seconds to bring himself to lean into the hug. The second that he did, fireworks went off in his brain. Sparks of colour and noise, all blending together into one picture. It was overwhelming, but he needed more. It was beautiful and hurt his eyes at the same time.

For just a few moments, everything melted away and time stood still. This wouldn’t heal all of his wounds by any means. He was still damaged, maybe beyond complete repair. But it was a start at least, a bandage on his cuts so they wouldn’t get infected. Even though he knew it wouldn’t last, Five allowed himself to feel happy, just for a few seconds.

————————————

During one of his days off, while watching a movie that Allison had recommended to him, Five’s phone buzzed. Strange, his siblings never texted him. They always called, ever since the attemp at a group chat had gone south. So he unlocked his phone and glanced at the text.

Derek: Hey, 5.  The pipes in my appartment burst and it will take a few days until it’s fixed. Would you mind if I maybe crashed on your couch?

For a few seconds, Five contemplated his choices. He could just say no, spare himself the trouble. But on the other hand…he wouldn’t mind not being alone for a few days.

Five: Sure, just stop by. You know the address, right?

Instead of getting a written response, he simply received an emoji of a hand holding its thumb up. Five still hadn’t completely understood the appeal of those modern hieroglyphics. He really was an old man.

Derek arrived not even half an hour later, carrying a bag that held the bare essentials. A few changes of clothes, toiletries and a book or two for entertainment. Five was sitting on the couch, on which he had placed a spare blanket and pillow for him. One cup of coffe rested in his hands and on the small table in front of him…

“You made me tea?“, Derek asked as he set his bag down and went to join him on the couch. The TV was on, playing a movie that he recognised as Brokeback Mountain. Normally he had always been the one to prepare their drinks and he hadn’t minded it either.

Five nodded, fiddling with his own fingers as he watched him pick up the cup. He had been a bit nervous about getting it right. Tea wasn’t his department after all. But the way Derek exhaled after taking his first sip, he knew that he must have done something right.

“Thank you, I appreciate it“, Derek smiled and kept his hands around the warm mug as he inhaled the familiar scent of green tea. It was quite comforting, just like Five’s presence next to him.

As the movie progressed, they both ended up shifting a bit more towards the middle of the couch. Sometimes Derek moved, sometimes Five did, almost like a dance, until they eventually touched shoulders. Five found himself relaxing sooner than the previous timest hey had touched.

When Derek’s hand moved to cover his own, he didn’t stop him, looking forward at the screen. It was slightly overwhelming, but nothing he couldn’t handle. During the climax of the movie however, Five gulped heavily and slowly turned towards Derek, who did the same.

“I’m way too old for you“, he attempted to lighten the mood, but it came out much weaker and desperate. At this point he could see every little detail of Derek’s eyes, the way the colours mixed together, every little imperfection and vein.

Derek cleared his throat slightly, for once not as light hearted. He seemed not as clueless as Five, but hesitant nonetheless. The coffee and tea on the table had been forgotten long ago.

“Your age is the least of my concerns right now“, he whispered back and readjusted his glasses before he repeated the same words that Five had said to him a few months ago, “Could I try something?“

At that point, Five felt like he was drowning. He felt lost, a sensation he had become rather familiar with. He could end this all with one simple word or one shake of his head, for he knew that Derek would respect his consent. But at the same time, he didn’t want to let this opportunity go. So despite not having taken in a breath for almost a minute, he found himself nodding.

Their lips didn’t touch. It wasn’t a desperate kiss like in romance movies meant for teenagers. Instead, it was a soft kiss on his cheek that he felt…warm and without the pressure to do more, not that Five would want that. Like a ray of sunshine warming his skin in the morning, right before the worries of life fully registered in his mind. Derek smiled as Five practically melted into the touch, pulling away after a few seconds.

“Good?“, he asked carefully, just to make sure he hadn’t gone too far. Five smiled a bit and brushed his chaotic hair back behind his ears.

“Yeah, good“, Five simply replied and pulled his legs up against his chest. He wasn’t sure whether he would ever be ready for a proper kiss or saying the three words that seemed to fall from people’s lips so easily. But that maybe wasn’t necessary. They communicated that through other means. Like how Derek prepared Five’s coffee in the morning or how Five’s expression lit up when his desk partner entered the room.

————————————

On the first of October in 2025, they decided to move in with each other. Five teased that it was merely to reduce costs, since they spent most of the time in Derek’s appartment anyway. It had much more life than Five’s place, with small things that made it feel like home. And getting his coffee before work certainly had its advantages. Derek simply smiled at that explanation, not bothering to engage in a meaningless discussion. Instead, he grabbed his coat and handed Five his cup.

“Happy Birthday, Mr.Five“, he said with a wink before heading off to work, leaving a frozen Five behind.

————————————

A few days after his birthday, Five started his investigation into the Keepers support group. Going undercover meant that he had to put on a disguise, so he went for a mix of Top Gun enthusiast and school janitor. The mustache had been his idea, mainly because he missed the facial hair he used to have. It at least made him look a bit older.

Derek chuckled the first time he saw him in disguise. It wasn’t clear whether he was simply amused or making fun of Five.

“What?“

Five couldn’t help but sound a bit defensive. He hadn’t gone completely over the top, right? No, this was simply a cover, for security purposes.

Derek stepped forward, carefully tracing the mustache and making sure it was secure. Five sometimes got figuratively sick at how soft he looked with such simple gestures.

“Nothing. I think it works, Mr.Five“, he responded and looked him over from top to bottom, “You should get going now or you’ll be late.“

Of course, Five couldn’t have that. He still had work to do. By going on undercover missions, he could rise through the ranks and gain more information on how to keep his siblings safe. But despite all of that…At the end of the day, enjoying coffee or tea wouldn’t hurt.

————————————

I hoped you enjoyed this oneshot! I certainly enjoyed writing it, distracting myself from the mess we got in Season 4.

If you liked it, leave a like or a comment. It really makes my day and encourages me to keep going. Also, I would have an idea for a smaller additional chapter, set during Season 4. It would also have some angst. Would you be interested in that? If you are, let me know!

Until next time,

-Donna Lawliet

[mermaidsirennikita]

Which historical romance books would you recommend to someone who would like to get into the genre but doesn't know where to start? So far my preferred genre was fantasy romance but I think I exhausted it completely at this point so I'm looking for something new. I tried Bridgerton but I didn't like, so I would appreciate any other recommendation. Thank you in advance.

Hey! I am happy to offer some recs. Imo, the Bridgerton books are kinda dated and work for a very *specific* reader, so it's not surprising to me that it wouldn't work. We can find something!

Sarah MacLean is a great gateway--I read every single adult historical she had out when I was first getting back into them in the early pandemic days. She typically writes very strong heroines (not always in a "we do battle" way, but always in mind and heart) and heroes who are just.... like, honestly, MESSES. Guys who can kick ass and fuck hard but are actually, deep within their souls, simps. From her backlist, I'd recommend as entry points:

Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake. Her debut, and I recommend it because it's super compulsively readable and very beloved, with good reason. It's the story of a wallflower type who's like, "Jesus Christ, I am so tired of being this person" and sets out to break these nine "rules" and have adventures. She ends up enlisting this known Slut Man to help her (in exchange for helping introduce his long lost sister to society) and naturally, he is soon after her. I will say, MacLean's first series is the most ballroom that she gets? Her tastes are definitely a bit wilder, and they get so from this book. It's funny, it's sexy, it's a romp. My favorite series of hers is the Rules of Scoundrels series, which is about a group of friends who own a gambling club and like getting emotionally destroyed by their lovers. But since you read fantasy romance, I will also suggest...

Wicked and the Wallflower. This is the first in her Bareknuckle Bastards series, which has a very fantastical, fairy tale-like premise. Basically, this guy's wife gave birth to an illegitimate daughter. At the same time, he had three illegitimate sons born together. So--girl not his, sons his. But he claimed the girl was a son upon baptizing her, and decided he'd pick which son was worthy of being his heir in what was essentially an extended CHILD BATTLE ROYALE. Anyway, the books focus on the grown children years later--two of the sons have become rulers of the London Underworld, taking the girl with them. It's wild, it's fun, the stakes are high.

Lisa Kleypas is a classic writer of the genre. She tends to write very emotional books, often focusing on very competent heroes (except that time she didn't and everyone clapped). For her, I always recommend her most famous series--it's a great crowd pleaser.

The Wallflowers. Four friends who are striking out on the marriage mart agree that at all costs, they will help each other find husbands this season. I recommend reading these in order, but the two strongest entries are It Happened One Autumn (book 2, an enemies to lovers situation, he's uptight and she's wild) and Devil in Winter (villainous hero enters into a marriage of convenience with the shy girl, gets absolutely emotionally compromised because she's actually everything), which MUST be read in order for max enjoyment. All the books are good, though, and book 1 is a great start with this kind of indecent proposal angle.

Monica McCarty's Highland Guard series could work for ya! It's a medieval series that centers on this group of knights who do these kind of black ops missions for Robert the Bruce as he's trying to take the Scottish throne. There's a lot of history, battling, Secret Love Shit. The first book is The Chief, which centers on the leader, this cool and stern guy who ends up in an arranged marriage situation with this woman who wants to Know Him Emotionally. These books have tons of adventure.

The Uptown Girls by Joanna Shupe. This series focuses on three sisters of a prominent man in Gilded Age New York, all of whom get into various types of trouble, some of which does involve organized crime. Fun and scandalous~ with a bit of danger. Also, super sexy.

Elizabeth Hoyt's Maiden Lane series is a great one that takes place in Georgian England. Lots of working class characters, walking on the wild side, danger. I'd recommend starting with book 3 (Scandalous Desires) as a starter, as it centers on a river pirate who basically takes this widow woman into his lair~ (he's actually trying to keep her and his daughter, who she's been caring for, safe--but he has ulterior motives, obvi). These books are super hot and often quite daring. Some of my personal favorites.

I think these are some options you can sample and maybe find a match or several with--imo, finding your niche is important. Like, I know Julia Quinn often doesn't work for me because I prefer books that are a bit ... heavier? And definitely with more sex and passion, often with less focus on the marriage mart. With exceptions, clearly!

[enderjo12]

Jonathan Joestar Birth Chart Analysis

Some notes before we start. There are no rising signs or houses bc of unknown times of birth. This doesn't affect any of the other placements, except the moon. Also, you may notice that node, Chiron, and Lilith are included in the chart but i won't be including them in analysis as they are less common and not as present. All the data for birth charts was gathered using Astro Seek. Please enjoy!

⚠️🚨 SPOILER WARNING 🚨⚠️

Born: April 4, 1868 in Liverpool United Kingdom

Sun in Aries ♈

(Self, Individuality, Personality)

Okay! Starting off very strong! Jonathan's sun is in Aries! It suits him very well! Aries is a fire sign and ruled by Mars so you know it's about to be a strong sign. Aries suns are defined as courageous and decisive. They're enthusiastic and have very strong leadership skills and fighting spirit! Very like our first JoJo! Aries suns are also very friendly and merry people! I don't know about you but that sounds like our boy! It's very fitting for Jonathan. He's always cheerful and eager despite his circumstances. He's always ready to take risks and fight for his cause! He EMBODIES fighting spirit! And one more thing! Aries suns are also described as impatient and all I can think of is the scene of him running after Baron Zeppeli and instead of walking on the water he partially sinks because he's too excited / he's gigantic.

Moon in Virgo ♍

(Emotions, Instincts, Roots)

Now Virgos are usually seen as the perfectionists of the Zodiacs. They desire order, cleanliness, and things to go as planned. Now that core value might not exactly be prevalent in Jonathan but it does remind me of how he grew up. He was expected to be a gentleman and perfect in everyway, to the point where it began to hurt him. Now, I can tell you where his Virgo moon is apparent. Virgo moons are very service oriented and Modest. Virgo moon men will also show he cares about people through acts of service. Jonathan has a genuine desire to help others and he thinks like a gentleman. He rushes in to help Erina even though he knows he won't win the fight. He wants to be helpful. He wants to make a positive impact and he does even if he doesn't realize. Which is also where modesty comes in. He doesn't really think of himself as a hero, even though he very much is. He just wants to live a happy life with Erina.

Mercury in Pisces ♓

(Communication, Intellect, Thinking, Learning)

We've reached our first water placement! Before I tell you about his Mercury, Jonathan's chart is very water heavy! He has 11 water placements in total. Four of which are Pisces. Four water placements are in his main planet placements. It doesn't seem like a lot but it is! But it's not surprising considering water signs are seen as the emotion oriented signs. (Also this boy has ZERO air signs....??)

Anyways! Now, Pisces is a very mystical sign. They're in tune with emotions as a water sign too. So, Mercury representing communication, a Pisces Mercury is going to let their emotions through in their speech. Now these people are also very sensitive and absorb a lot of what's around them. This makes me think of how quickly Jonathan was able to learn Hamon from Baron Zeppeli! He caught on pretty quickly and was eager to learn more all the time!

Venus in Taurus ♉

(Love, Sensitivity, Harmony, Pleasure)

Now I'm a Venus Taurus myself and I've also talked about this placement in a different birth chart analysis as well! It's a very interesting placement as Taurus is ruled by Venus. That means this placement is extremely strong. Now I can't exactly go into detail on his love life but I can still get a good bit of information about him! Two things I can point out is they're very good with money and...do I really need to say much. He's a trust fund baby but a good one! They are also very polite and being a gentleman is a pillar of Jonathan's personality! Now as far as relationships, Venus Taurus rely heavily on touch. While Jonathan's giving love language is likely acts of service, his receiving could well be physical touch and we just don't see much of it.

Mars in Pisces ♓

(Activity, Energy, Courage, Assertiveness)

Now, I don't like when people only use Mars placements to describe Anger or Sexual aspects but....I'm afraid I'm going to....and im also going to bring up Dio...I know! I know! Hold the tomatoes, please! Even though Dio was absolutely horrendous to him, Jonathan continued to care for and truly love Dio. He wanted to believe in him and never wanted to kill him. Even after everything, he never could truly hate Dio. I think that really shows his Pisces. His anger was never hot or quick or heavy. It was slow and only showed in brief bursts before passing and leading to forgiveness...

Jupiter in Pisces ♓

(Happiness, Optimism, Expansion)

This is one of those placements where it's just so perfect I can't handle it! I mean the description I'm following literally uses "true angels of mercy" and...you read the last paragraph.... Jupiter Pisces are described as friendly, hospitable, and charitable. It just so him!!! They may also be too obliging and too much may be expected of them. Very reminiscent of how Jonathan's father treated him. Always compared to Dio and expected to do more.

Saturn in Sagittarius ♐

(Restriction, Order, Maturity, Time)

Now were digging into the heavier placements. This placement will probably have strong morals and stick to them. And once again I am reminding you that Jonathan's entire personality is being a proper English gentleman. He sticks to those morals very consistently. Now, Saturn represents restriction and this gentleman ideology is also restricting. It keeps him from making mistakes and exploring certain things *cough cough* homosexuality *cough cough*

Y'all can't tell me jonaeriwagon isn't at least a little likely. STOP BOOING ME IM RIGHT! SPEEDWAGON IS THE GAYEST MAN IVE EVER ENCOUNTERED! ONE OF US!

Uranus in Cancer ♋

(Originality, Freedom, Revolution)

Okay, now we're into the slow moving planets. These tend to represent a long time period and stay in placements for years and may be more connected to a generation rather than a singular person.

....i don't know what to do with this one because it's... like the exact opposite of Jonathan aside from stubbornness? But even that's not exactly a big part of him. He's a soft boy. This placement is described as rejecting traditional family values and that's just not him.

Neptune in Aries ♈

(Fantasy, Illusion, Spirituality, Imagination)

This placement is described as fighting for their ideals and I think it fits. The entire cast was very determined to achieve their goals and stood firm in their morals. Even Dio never strayed far from his morals of being the actual devil.

Pluto in Taurus ♉

(Transformation, Regeneration, Power)

This placement is bold, determined, and stubborn. They're always convinced that they are right and this Also shows in the cast. They never really acknowledge their wrongdoings except Jonathan's father on his literal deathbed. And Dio also shows this placement. He doesn't care about anything around him. He's right.

That's it! I think Jonathan's chart is very accurate and I loved reading it! I love Jonathan's character so much! I'll be doing Joseph and Caesar next. Unfortunately not many characters have confirmed birthdays 😕

[kikokus]

Sanji Since the Time-Skip, Part Eight (Chapters 810-813)

…So it’s been almost nine years. I’ve recently gotten back into One Piece and am caught up with the manga again, and since I’ve had some requests to continue this series (and there’s obviously been a lot of Sanji content in that time!) I thought I might as well go and do that!

This covers the few chapters of Zou but there’s actually a lot of great Sanji character moments within those four chapters so it seemed to make sense to keep it as its own section. As before, standard disclaimers apply.

[Part One] // [Part Two] // [Part Three] // [Part Four] // [Part Five] // [Part Six] // [Part Seven]

Let’s see if I still remember how to do this...

So not only does everyone seemingly accept that Sanji’s the obvious choice to fill the position of captain in Luffy’s absence, there’s actually an entire chapter named after ‘his’ crew which really emphasizes the point that we’re supposed to look at him as taking that leadership role for the time being.

And, because of that, most of the examples in this part have something to do with Sanji stepping into said leadership role, and that starts here once they can clearly see the city’s been destroyed and Sanji’s first reaction is to leave the others behind where it’s at least relatively safe and go off by himself to make sure he doesn’t put them in any danger.

Chopper threatens Caesar a lot during this part as well but with Sanji here you can tell how much emotion there is behind his words and how angry he is because at this point it’s not even a request anymore, it’s just an order. I really do like how this is set up because the reveal with Sanji’s new wanted poster being ‘only alive’ is before this, but there’s really no other indication as to what that means and once you find out more about his birth family it makes sense why he’s able to take charge as easily as he does. 

But for as emotional as he’d been with Caesar, he recovers very quickly here and is the only one to point out that they shouldn’t let their guards down just because it seems like the enemy's gone. Caesar also tries to deter him from deciding to help the Minks by painting them as hostile towards humans and really, all Sanji has to go on right now is Law’s word that his crew is there so he has to make a decision on the spot as to whether trying to save them is a good idea.

Sanji being observant is nothing new but at least in this case we really don’t see what Wanda’s holding until he warns Nami so it’s revealing it to us as readers, too.

I like that this is stated so plainly because the last time we saw Sanji he was very adamant about escaping with Caesar and not letting Big Mom get her hands on him since that was the promise he made to Law, but now that Doflamingo’s been taken care of he sees that as going along with the fulfillment of said promise. He’s also obviously weighing the option of whether or not Caesar’s worth all of the potential trouble both to his crew and to the Minks (and being snarky while doing it, which I always appreciate.)

Though I think he quickly realizes that it’s not quite that simple as just handing Caesar over and being left in peace, and I feel like by this point it’s probably hard to keep track of all the people Luffy’s picked a fight with but Big Mom’s obviously a significant one and Sanji’s not ignoring that.

This is about the most authoritative we see him when it comes to giving orders and it’s very brusque while also keeping Nami and Chopper safe and shutting down any sort of wild ideas Caesar might have. The focus on the panel of him looking down at Bege and giving that little cocky nod is also some pretty great foreshadowing but has another purpose in showing us how easily he can slip into that sort of role when it’s needed.

Sanji doesn’t really have to say this because conceivably this negotiation doesn’t involve the Minks outside of Pekoms being there but once again it speaks to his inherent kindness that he doesn’t want to cause them any more trouble after what they’ve already been through.

This is more just about how well Sanji knows Luffy and knows that he would never agree to becoming a subordinate of one of the Yonko, but at this point I think he’s still trying to find a way for all of them (except Caesar) to get out of there safely. It’s also interesting that earlier we get Brook talking about vaguely about the Vinsmoke family and Nami remembering that Sanji had told them before he was born in the North Blue so it wasn’t as if he was afraid to share that part of his past, but that was as much as he was willing to divulge.

Sanji’s expressions in this chapter are so telling, and I think it’s very effective considering that we don’t know exactly what’s happening but we can tell from his reactions how serious it is and because he’s not saying anything one way or the other that’s all we have to go on. But this is where it turns from him wanting to escape with everyone to him realizing that, now that he’s been told Zeff’s in danger, that’s no longer an option and it’s more about getting the others out instead. There’s a panel directly after where he lights a cigarette which is a very classic ‘I need some time to think’ move from him as well.

That little sad smile says so much…he’s accepted his fate and is saying goodbye in the only way he knows how, and I think he’s being honest here: he never intended to hide anything because, for him, he’s left that part of his past behind and cut all ties with his family so he didn’t consider it a factor or something to dwell on but now circumstances have made it impossible to ignore.

His dialogue goes with what I was saying earlier but I really put this here because it shows him using Observation Haki again and while he can’t say for sure that it’s the Minks, he knows they’re likely the most powerful beings left on the island and he’s willing to take that chance if it means getting the others to safety. I’ll also point out that through this entire section he never even tries to frame it as just ‘getting Nami out’; he wants all of them out of there and goes so far as to hug them (even if it’s with the excuse of making it easier to toss them all out at once).

Sanji’s definitely taking a chance here but even with the little he’s been told about the current situation it’s one he can afford to take because it’s not as if he doesn’t know what Judge is like and he can already infer that Big Mom has some sort of use for Caesar so threatening him is about the easiest way to make his point and gain the upper hand for just long enough to do what he needs to.

And I think Sanji’s also banking on Bege being smart enough to realize that, too (which he does) so while there was a lot that could have gone wrong he’s managed to accomplish his goal of making sure the rest of the crew is safe. If you look closely at some of the panels in this section there’s these little double curved lines around Sanji which are usually an indication of trembling/shivering but even though he’s obviously emotional he’s still holding it together enough to at least make it seem like he’s in control.

I’ve seen some comments that after so long Sanji should know the crew would back him up regardless of what trouble he’s in but Sanji’s nothing if not consistently self-sacrificial and this time, because it’s dealing with a part of his life that’s existed since long before he met any of them, I think he truly does see it as something he needs to do on his own. His smile still hurts me, though.

…And that’s the end of this section! That…probably went on longer than it needed to but I guess it proves that almost a decade later I still have a lot to say about Sanji so please feel free to like/reblog if you found this interesting at all and we’ll…see about working on the next part…

[halfbakedspuds]

OC interview

Thanks to @illarian-rambling for the tag!

Rules: write your OC's response to the questions

I have Hans von Nirgends on my mind so I'll do it for him.

Are you named after someone?

At birth, I was named after my paternal grandmother... no, I will not tell you what that name was, allesficker. When I fled to Neureich, they asked under what name I wished to be registered, and I... panicked a bit, choosing 'Hans Schmidt' (which I'll admit is possibly the most stereotypically Tuitish name ever). Then I joined the Neureich Friedensrichter corps and got assigned to a little frontier town in the Mittelostia territory called 'Nirgends'- which I may have grown a little too attached to since I had my surname changed to 'von Nirgends' after a year and a half of living there.

When was the last time you cried?

Probably after the last Hellstorm I survived. Not necessarily because anything bad happened, they just leave behind a kind of eldritch beauty that you can't help but shed tears at the sight of. The last time I cried out of heartbreak... I decline to comment, that memory remains buried for a reason.

Do you have kids?

That's not really on the table for me due to several reasons- let's just lie to ourselves, say that Hellstorms are sterilising and leave it at that, alright?- and as much as I'd like to maybe adopt kids someday, I'm also far too afraid that I'll turn out like my father. No child deserves that.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What do you think, detective? In all honesty, it annoyed my father, so it became a rebellious habit of mine.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

The way they walk. That can usually tell me whether or not they have a gun concealed that's getting in the way of their movements, but all in all it's just a lesson learnt from experience.

What's your eye colour?

Bluish-grey. Although under... certain conditions, they take on the colour of a dark storm.

Scary movies or Happy endings?

I don't know, maybe my life has just been filled with enough real fear and horror, but scary movies don't really do anything for me. I'm a sucker for a happy ending, though. Probably because I'm still looking for mine.

Any special talents?

What, why do you... oh wait, that's what you mean. I guess I'm a decent-ish marksman. How many people do you know who can take a rifle and put a hole in a coin from a hundred and fifty measures out from horseback?

Where were you born?

Listen here, and listen close. If you tell anyone this, I will find you. Verstehen? Good.

I was born in the Wasserfall family manor in the Grenzenwald barony of Tuitis, near the Tuitis-Lenroux border. Happy? Good, let's move on.

Do you have any pets?

I had a dog named Rufus while I was still a Friedensrichter. Damn good partner, closest I ever had to a friend before I met Anselm and Mariette. Anyways, one day we were on a job, stopping a gang who'd commandeered a cash transit train. Rufus ran in, bit their leader in the soft, and got shot for it.

My orders were to take that gang alive. Well, it's not exactly my fault if some outlaw scum managed to vanish into thin air as if they'd been vaporised. It's also not my fault that I may have done the reasonable thing and... assisted in the emancipation of their molecular bonds.

What sort of sports do you play

In Nirgends they have this sport that the children play where you need to try to get a ball into the other team's goalpost. When I was off duty, I'd sometimes play it with them, though it says something that I as a twenty-four year old man repeatedly got thrashed by a bunch of young teenagers... Bozhe, now I miss home.

How tall are you?

One measure, twenty five marks. In your system that's about 167cm or about 5'5".

What was your favourite subject in school

My father wasn't too keen on the idea of me receiving an education, however there was a guy in town who our family commissioned machinery and other things from who taught me how to read, write, and maintain machinery whenever I snuck out to visit him. My favourite lessons were the ones where he only told me the design specs and left me to figure things out myself. I guess I just enjoyed the challenge and he knew it.

What is your dream job

A musician, maybe. Although if I'm being honest I'm getting tired of a life where something exciting is constantly happening to me. Perhaps I'd like to hang up my rifle and put my talents as a mechanic to use here in Ost-Rietland... yes, that actually sounds quite lovely.

Blank template under the cut

Are you named after someone?

When was the last time you cried?

Do you have any kids?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What is the first thing you notice about people?

What is your eye colour?

Scary movies or Happy endings?

Any special talents?

Where were you born?

Do you have any pets?

What sort of sports do you play?

How tall are you?

What was your favourite subject in school?

What is your dream job?

[oddmawd]

Hey Mawd, is it okay to ask about "The Wife" from The Hunt in these OC asks or not? Just curious! Nway, sending 🎂,💯 and ☕️ for Rei!

hmmmm, The Wife...that should be fine! i left her somewhat abstract for the reader-insert lovers but she has a distinct personality i could use for this DETAILS ABOUT OCs ASK MEME...(also i did base her closely on Rei LMAO so i can kind of default to Rei's characterization for the ask game too!)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE ANSWERING THESE AND YOU MADE MY ENTIRE FUCKIN WEEK, ILY TY!!!!!!

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs?

You put me through my paces with this one because I hadn't actually done any birth chart stuff for Rei, and I'm not very good at astrology stuff! I'm basically just picking stuff that fits the personality I gave her. Her birthday is April Fools Day! This makes her an Aries, and I like to think she was born only a few minutes after midnight, putting her on the cusp of being a March and April Aries. As for her signs... She is an Aries Sun, Virgo Moon, Scorpio Rising. This gives her Aries' ambition and drive but Virgo's desire for order while pursuing her goals, and Scorpio's strong intuition and ability to read emotions. Does she fit these signs? Sometimes, but her past has cooled some of Aries' famous temper, and her Sun and Rising signs further quell some of the impulsivity Aries are known for. She looks before she leaps, unlike the typical Aries, and she's not a selfish person as some people believe of Scorpio. She IS, however, very much a Virgo in how critical she is of herself (especially her appearance). I don't know enough about Tarot or numerology to answer the other questions, but I hope the above is enough. <3

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Fun Fact #1: Rei's favorite emoji, coincidentally, is the 💯 emoji. Followed closely by the ✨ emoji. You'd THINK it would be the winking emoji, but nope. She saves winks for in-person shenanigans. Fun Fact #2: She owns no fewer than 50 wigs. Yes, that's a lot of wigs, but not all of them are top-grade, human hair, hand-tied, or even natural-looking wigs. In fact, the majority of them aren't. Human-hair, hand-tied wigs are extremely expensive, and she only owns a handful (collected over the course of many years) for special occasions. She breaks down her wig collection into four distinct categories: The Queens (her best wigs), the Classy Ladies (high-end synthetic wigs), the Party Girls (mid-tier synthetic wigs), and the Hot Mess Ma'ams (the cheapo costume wigs she happily beats to hell and back). Every category has its time and place. The purple wig she wore to the club in The Sight Unseen was a Hot Mess Ma'am she got on Amazon for like $15. (Bonus Wig Fact: She prefers NOT to glue down her wigs, though she used to do so for ballroom competitions and burlesque routines. Her skin is sensitive and easily irritated, and she enjoys changing up her look on an almost daily basis.) Fun Fact #3: Rei loves reading, and she loves reading nonfiction especially. She volunteers are her local library to read books to kids. She typically dresses up in a costume or fancy outfit that fits the theme of the day's book. Rei is QUITE GOOD at acting out children's literature, and kids love her because she's willing to meet them on their level and never talks down to them. She's very good with kids in general. (That may have been more than one fun fact for this last entry...)

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

Today, Rei is a double espresso kind of person. She drinks it for utility in the early mornings and to power late-night study sessions. A quick slam of caffeine is just what she needs to power through the day. BUT when she wants something she can savor and isn't in dire need of instant waking up, she goes for a London fog with a pump of lavender syrup. That's her cozy drink on Sunday mornings, curled up in bed with a good book in her favorite bathrobe. Please note that in her club-scene-visiting and dance-competition-dominating and burlesque-performing youth, however, she would down sugar-free Red Bulls by the case. Those were darks times characterized by youthful idiocy joie de vivre and complete disregard for the health of her kidneys.

I LOVED ANSWERING THESE OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH PLZ SEND MORE IF YOU WANNA!

[disregardcanon]

woke up and started thinking about the yellowjackets and birth order, so. here’s the Thoughts TM. i did literally every person who’s slightly relevant to the plot other than adam, shauna’s dead boyfriend, so i hope y’all enjoy

our crop of DEFINITELY onlys are- jackie (her parents were and are so obsessed with her. like, they could hypothetically do that if she weren’t their only but they don’t seem like two or more children kinda folks) shauna (her social insecurities just feel like a kid who grew up very lonely before she met jackie, and even though siblings don’t always get along... they would have made her a bit more socially adjusted) natalie (independent in a way that she wouldn’t be if she either had little siblings to protect or older siblings to protect HER), lottie (oh god her parents. they were like We’ll Have One Perfect Princess! and then... well, they weren’t about to try and “screw up” again...) tai (her leadership style screams only child. not in a bad way! just in a way) and then van (it seems like she was an out of wedlock oopsie that wasn’t going to be repeated) and misty (i think that her parents were distant and that she wasn’t really wanted. they were a lot better about making sure it didn’t happen again after misty was born)

i would also add jeff, lisa, and walter to this list. jeff is mainly because i feel like if that guy had any siblings he’d be very clingy with them and have them over like ALL the time. walter just has the vibes. lisa’s mom is obsessive in a way that strikes me as mother-of-an-only.

oldests- travis. we see his little brother and nothing gives us the indication that there’s a secret older sibling off at college. with the exact pressure it looks like his dad puts on him he’s GOTTA be the oldest.

laura lee- i feel like she has one younger brother who’s somewhere 3-5 years younger. they don’t interact a ton but they get along fine

coach martinez- i just have a feeling. i’d say he has a single mom and younger sisters, so he never had much masculinity that wasn’t His Own modeled for him, so when he sees travis he’s like NO YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

middles- mari! i’d say that she’s either the middle out of three sisters or the third oldest out of four. she gives me vibes of growing up in a bit of a dog-eat-dog world with LOTS of girls around fighting, but her being close to the bottom of the pile

coach ben- he just feels like a middle? like, of course his behaviors could be the result of a LOT of things, but i think that both being able and willing to try to take charge but also to just. completely give up and let shit happen around him? feels very much like he grew up with someone who dragged him along and took care of him but ALSO someone who he could drag around and take care of. i’d say he has a brother who’s 3 or 4 years older and one that’s slightly younger, and they’re both Normal Nineties Level of Homophobic, which makes things harder on him with the idea of coming out because he does love them.

melissa- i’d say she has an older sister she doesn’t get along with super well (very stereotypical girly girl) and two younger siblings (a brother and a sister) who she DOES get along with and they do sports together. i dunno, it’s just vibes.

youngests- akilah! we know that she has an older sister with a baby that she’s close to, but she never mentions other siblings so i think that they’re the only two in the family. i also think, though, that akilah had a lot of interaction with a lot of kids growing up too. she probably has a slew of cousins that are both older and younger than her and hung out with some neighbor kids. she’s a very well rounded youngest

crystal- i don’t think that crystal is probably close to her older siblings, but i’d say that she was an oopsie on the far end of her mom’s child-rearing years. her older siblings (i’d say a pair of sisters who are like eight and six years older) think of her as an annoyance and her parents didn’t pay a lot of attention to her once they got her to proper school age, so she got all the downsides of having siblings but few of the advantages.

gen- she’s got one brother who’s basically a year older and they’re very close. that kinda relationship you get when the kids are almost twins but not quite

javi- if javi weren’t the baby, then we would have seen a younger sibling in the brief scene with mrs. martinez. also.. he does not seem like he’s got anyone younger around

allie- i am so sorry to stereotype youngests but... allie is the youngest. i’d say that she’s probably the only treasured girl with four or five older brothers too. a ginny weasley kinda situation.

OH WAIT I FORGOT TO DO DOUCHEBAG COPS

kevyn- i feel like this guy’s the baby. he’s got older sisters so he like, knows how to talk to girls? but he’s also constantly teased by them so.

the cop that groomed callie- an oldest. this guy has younger sisters and he seduced all of their friends.

[mengyao]

3, 5, 6, 22!

3: What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?

my problem is that i can always be arsed to write all the set-up and context and this is how i get into Pickles (all my wips get out of hand.) i'm sure there's something though… OH i know. it's the ling wen/pei ming/shi wudu fic of my dreams, which involves escalating bets/wagers and culminates in a sleazy threesome but they all have feelings about it but the feelings are complex and unnameable. they are not in love but they love each other but also they don't. but they do. you know.

to get the vibe i want, it couldn't just be pwp though. like i would want this to be a trojan horse of emotionally dense 3 tumours character study. but also funny, because they're comedians to me. minimum 5k of buildup necessary, and in order to do that and have it be good i would have to Get A Degree In Pei Ming And Ling Wen And Shi Wudu and tbh the reason i don't write more poly ships is that having to canon review to get two characters' voices down is enough work as it is… you expect me to do more than that……………….

5: What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

i've flippantly posted about this before but i do feel like i have an elevated level of insight into the nhs + nmj dynamic due to the circumstances of my dad's health issues/head injury/death lmao. i would never do all of that though <3

6: What character do you have the most fun writing?

nie huaisang is the obvious answer (assigned comic relief at birth. a font of earnest sadstuck. deserves to go to prison. the swiss army knife of blorbos.) but shi qingxuan is edging up there. i thought my beefleaf sex pollen fic was going to be 3k but it ended up 8k because sqx as a pov character just kept going and going and going and i was having a GREAT time. i used to shy away from writing characters who are talky and have big personalities because i felt like whatever i wrote would turn out feeling fake and/or annoying, or that it would be more obvious if my characterization was off than if the character was more subdued… i guess i'm just more self-confident now?

more than just being extroverted and chatty, i think what's sooo fun and novel to me about shi qingxuan is that they're such a doer. after primarily writing cerebral repressos for the past 15 years it's so refreshing to write a character whose reaction to most situations is to follow their instinct… they keep the plot moving! never a dull moment!

22: Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

ah ha ha ha ha yeah no i reread stuff i wrote in the last ~2 years allll the time. i know what i like! and if it already existed up to spec i wouldn't have written it! there's definitely stuff i find cringe and parts i skim if i'm not happy with them but overall i spend a lot of time on my own ao3 page......

///

you also asked about foowd extras... i still find writing + sharing these kind of mortifying because despite bravado about my trans fanfiction brand, part of my brain is still like "okay but NOW it's cringe because NOW it's not 'suicidal closeted trans character is depressed and makes bad choices' but 'comparably emotionally stable character is a known transgender and has some good things happen to her' so everyone will point and laugh over your SELF INDULGENT WISH FULFILLMENT!!!1!1!!1" because the particular brainworm i find very difficult to remove re: residual shame over writing trans fic is the idea of anything you write being automatically discounted as personal projection basically on par with readerfic rather than coming from being genuinely interested in the canon character(s). and wanting to write about nice things happening to fictional trans people being like, THE WORST MOST CRINGE thing you could ever do. but i persisteth.

it's funny because i WOULDN'T even say they are just fluffy wish fulfillment stuff... the four "chapters" i'm planning on posting have a bit of an emotional arc, and what interested me enough to write them out instead of just leaving them as comfy eyelid movies were questions like "now that it's actually happening, how WOULD nhs actually feel about the prospect of not only stepping down from sect leadership but uprooting her entire life to go join another sect," with the idea that, if that were to actually happen rather than stay an escapist fantasy, she'd probably feel... pretty conflicted about it! it would be weird (even if ultimately worth it)!

so there's that. and then there's the fact that the entire original fic largely sprung out of ideas about sangcheng eventually being in a long-term relationship that looked a certain way, and then reverse engineering the interpersonal arc that would be needed to get them there (and that becoming the main fic.) foowd proper ends when they've only just even actually "become a couple," and you don't get to see much of that... so i wanted to chuck at least SOME of what i imagine about straight married sangcheng's day to day life into the world. (not that it's even at that point yet LMAO. EVENTUALLY!!!) if for no other reason than that there's a strong chance that sometime i'll reference something from the extended foowd lore in casual conversation forgetting that no one has any idea what i'm talking about because it does not exist anywhere except my brain

[ffxiv-swarm]

Would you tell us more about Pavo's weird and traditional tribe? He's probably the OC of yours that I want to examine under a microscope the most (the runner-up being Q'sevet, of course) :3c

OH NO YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

Bullet points in no particular order bc i've Never written this shit down before:

i freely admit this was based HEAVILY on classic maya life/traditions/art but like. bunnies

well, classic maya shit + Fae, But The Kind That Eat You

ritualistic cannibalism my beloved (if you're caught in their woods there is like an 80% chance you will be killed and/or sacrificed to their gods and/or eaten)

but aside from that the Miret-Moor village of Whispering Stars is...surprisingly chill? they have beehives and cassava and probably a variety of chocobo

clothing tends to be very sparse--think loincloths & wraps & leathers--because golmore is Fucking Hot

women and children stay in and around the village, men in a loose perimeter around it

TECHNICALLY they're only allowed back into the village once a year but in practice...wow, it sure is something how those sentries just Happened to be looking the other way

strong tradition of literacy and papermaking but their written tongue is indecipherable to eorzeans

(they actually descend from a Turalian viera tribe who went east during ehhHHH one of the previous astral eras & thought golmore would be a good place to settle)

also a very strong tradition of astrology. like. VERY strong. their current matriarch, aud (pavo's grandma!) is said to hear the voices of the stars themselves. stars tell them when to plant, when to harvest, how their kids will grow up, etc

which means that when pavo was born with the constellation of the Great Tree on his shoulder, they all went "ooooh"

alas, Kalju Happened

boys are supposed to stay away from the village for 7 years after they accept a mentor, learning the ways of men (tracking, various rites & rituals, etc). after those 7 years, they return, there's a big feast, they get facial tattoos, the works. the whispering stars dudes pretty much float around in each other's orbit the rest of the time, but long-lasting relationships aren't uncommon.

they follow the viera male surname system when introducing themselves & it's considered lucky if you're trained by someone who shares your elemental affinity

(ladies are always considered to have Earth affinities, but whether they are Rehw-Setlas or Djt-Setlas depends on whether they have borne children or not)

in the wider forest, though, they use their village name

Whispering Stars members also have day names used in the village, following the number/day of their birth in their calendar. these are used mostly for divination but sometimes they get used as actual names if you decide your given name sucks

typical full name: [first name] + [day name] + [elemental affinity] + [village]

ex: Sigri Ten Deer Djt-Marouc Miret-Moor, Kalju Four Jaguar Rehw-Gilda Miret-Moor

i AM capable of going on about classic maya naming systems for a while do NOT test me

ANYway, they're allowed to go anywhere in golmore!...but not beyond it. once they leave the tree cover, they're considered to have forfeited the protection of the Wood and the Green Word, and are thus too unclean to remain. only blood offerings can placate the wood, and depending on the length of the transgression that might be a hell of a lot of blood

this may have something to do with their dances on certain times of the day or night, dances beneath the stars

...Aud, along with every other high matriarch before her, has been known as the Starsinger. Do they sing back?

say, where did ultima come from anyway?

don't worry about it

at least she's not the only one in charge; the five eldest women in the village make major decisions as a group, and among men the eldest Djt-Marouc leads

yes this means pavo would have eventually been in charge, god help them

speaking of pavo, a fun mutation he has (common among the tribe) is what are called "climbing feet;" they're semi-digitigrade, with high arches and long toes, and so he's more comfortable in heels or sandals than closed shoes. in fact he's the MOST comfortable off the ground entirely, so it's a good thing...

...that the tribe builds their houses in trees! no, not just treehouses. actual giant hollowed-out trees, living spaces carved into or grown out of the wood.

think fanow here

except fanow PROBABLY doesn't have a skull rack outside the front gates as a warning

at some point i need to sit down & come up with a pantheon but Not Today

[shuichi-iguchi-enjoyer]

My OC! I was gonna write a blurb on the side but I have more to say than I had room for so I’m just gonna type the info here. This is a long post, I’m very long-winded. Oh also have you ever made an OC as a joke but then you just kept adding like backstory and personality traits until they accidentally turned into a character you actually like? Yeah that’s what this is. Oh! And I forgot to say but left is one of her casual outfits and right is her villain costume

(TW: mentions of abuse, weapons, murder, I mean this is a LOV OC so yeah)

Name: Chloe (no last name)

Villain Name: Puppy Love

Quirk: Dog (Chihuahua). Grants her the abilities to smell anything within a 12 mile radius (including being able to know a lot about people from just their scent), fast reflexes, good running speed (only when running on all fours though), heightened hearing, as well as dog ears, a tail, big eyes, and sharp teeth. Basically, “she can do everything a dog can do”

Age: 20

Height: 4’8 (143 cm)

Birthday: April 28

Personality: hyper, bubbly, easily excited, naive, obedient, loyal, easily distracted, talkative, ditzy, probably annoyingly overly friendly

Place Of Birth: Los Angeles

Reason For Joining LOV: I’m not going to completely delve into her whole backstory, I’ll do that another time esp since I’m still working some things out, but she was a victim of an abusive pageant company (the pageants were sort of a front for something more sinister) that bought girls with “desirable quirks” and trained them to participate in pageants and then to eventually produce more girls with that quirk. She escaped that system when she accidentally murdered one of the leaders and was forced out of America for her own safety and went overseas and happened to find solace in the LOV, especially since there were heros that were involved in her mistreatment.

Weapon(s) Of Choice: gun because American lol, a long leash she uses as a lasso (mostly to retrieve items and on weak enemies as some enemies could definitely break it)

Likes: meat, hygiene/beauty products, dancing, singing, fashion, everything Y2k, celebrity culture, interesting-smelling things, physical affection, chewing on things (gum, food, toys, people, you name it)

Dislikes: loud noises, I’m trying so hard not to say cats rn it would just be funny, having “no purpose” (like not receiving orders to do something, she has a sort of complex about not having “a purpose” in life), running out of hygiene products especially hair products

What’s In Her Juicy Couture Bag?: her rhinestone-encrusted phone, makeup, comb, Victoria’s Secret body spray, pink bone squeaky toy, gum, beef jerky, dental floss (to get the beef jerky out of her teeth), a rhinestone-encrusted weed pen, an actual pen (one of the ones with a fluffy bit at the end) and small notebook (don’t try to read it, her handwriting is atrocious and if she catches you she’ll probably bite your hand off), cash, and a fake ID

Other Info: I sort of “ship” her with Spinner but like I also don’t think she’d be romantically interested in Spinner at first. For some reason I need her to have a hopeless crush on Dabi for a while while Spinner pines for her lmao. She’d be besties with Spinner, though, and would insist on cuddling with him and stuff which I think would drive him crazy (in a… good way? I think). Eventually she’ll realize that Dabi is an asshole and hates her (although I think she’d be able to sense it all along but just not care for a while) and that the high level of friendship she feels for Spinner has slowly turned into loving him. Idk why my aromantic ass comes up with these cheesy scenarios but yeah lol. Also she gives Toga and Magne Y2k makeovers and they have like girl nights sometimes. I imagine she’s so naive and friendly that the rest of the LOV have to specifically order her NOT to go up to their enemies all like “HI I’M CHLOE WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!?! :3” and she definitely said that exact line to every single one of them at some point while getting up in their face. Most of the LOV have likely never had someone willingly get so close to them (especially Spinner and Shigaraki omg though Shigaraki probably wants to turn her to dust while Spinner’s just a blushing mess)

Ok this post is already way too long so I’m gonna cut it off there bye lol

[impossiblebird]

like all universes, that of Pluto is in constant expansion. it is the beauty of art and literature, isn’t it? no matter how finished a work appears to be, there is always more creation that can emerge from it. i believe we know that better than anyone. here is another glimpse behind the scenes of Pluto! 🪐

- originally, lizzy was supposed to give birth while thomas was there. thomas and newt would have been woken up in the night by her screams. the labour is difficult and lizzy loses a lot of blood, much to newt and harriet’s distress, but thomas uses his three brain cells and what he remembers from a few classes about midwifery to deliver the baby and both lizzy and the baby survive

- lizzy doesn’t know how to name her baby, but thomas remembers sonya telling him her great-great-grandma was called amelia, so that’s what he suggests. like the letter, the name amelia originates from the time loop: thomas suggests it because he knows it’s her name, but it’s her name because thomas suggests it. i eventually cut that scene because i was running out of time. instead i ended up using the name of the baby as the thing thomas used to prove to newt that he does come from the future

- there would have been one or two cute scenes of sonyarriet raising their daughter. but even though those scenes did not make the cut, i can assure you the three of them live happily together, as do brenda and teresa ❤️

- the four of them do come to the conclusion that thomas and newt eloped with the car and they are all very happy for them 🥰

- originally, newt was supposed to live 33 years earlier, in 1857, but I needed telephones to be a thing, so i pushed a little

- you will notice that there are 132 years between 1890 and 2022, which is 4 times 33 years. it was important for me to have thomas travelling 33 years in the past (x4) as an easter egg to netflix’s dark which inspired me for some of the time travel (notably regarding the elements that only exist within the time loop, like the letter)

- another obvious inspiration was back to the future (thomas makes sure newt NEVER hears about this movie, he just knows he would get absolutely roasted for being stupid enough to copy the delorean)

- i remember you saying you weren’t the biggest fan of using edison as thomas’s last name, so i took that opportunity to make fun of that trope! it would have been even more fitting with the whole “newt having electricity power” thing, but i think it also works pretty well as it is (did you know thomas edison got married on christmas day? now that’s about to give another thomas some ideas)

- as it turns out, some academics also believe edison inspired h.g. wells to write the time machine. fitting, isn’t it?

- newt only learns thomas’s real name weeks later when the mailman shows up to their apartment with a package for “mr. murphy” and newt almost tells him to get lost before thomas intervenes (good call; the package was the starry light projector he ordered for newt!)

MORE BTS FOR ME?! 🥺

thomas was gonna help lizzy give birth omfg…….. thank the stars for those three braincells and his midwifery classes 😳 (VERY glad to here they would have both survived, but who delivered the baby if thomas wasn’t there?!)

oooooooooooo the name would have originated from the timeloop too!!! i do love what you did the names on the wall though, it was SO cool and so clever to read and that was exactly what i imagined this vague time travel au to look like when i put it in my wish list 🥺

sonyarriet and their daughter and brenderesa all living happily ever after :’) except omg i didn’t even imagine what they must have thought happened to newt and thomas…. but lmfao them just being like yup, must have left with that weird futuristic tin can makes me giggle

omg YOUR MIND… i haven’t seen Dark (although i am now tempted to) but hearing about that easter egg from your inspiration is SO COOL. you’re next level, honestly

SKDJSKDJSKFHFKBDM well now i’m picturing a few-years-later where newt finds out about back to the future before thomas can stop him…… he deserves the roast tbh 😭

i actually LOVED the making fun of thomas edison in this, honestly it was completely brilliant. and weirdly fitting as it is lmfao. (christmas wedding ?!?!?)

WOW okay that’s scarily fitting actually…. and i love how much research & thought you’ve put into this 💛

crying over the fact that newt just didn’t question thomas’ real surname until that point 😭😭😭 (IT WAS THE LIGHT PROJECTOR OMG)

the universe of pluto has been expanding so much more with these beautiful bts and fun facts and i honestly cannot thank you enough for taking the time to do that for me :’) a reread is definitely due asap (so i can also write up my guess as to who i think you are 💛)

ily santa <3

[thekingdomoftrolldinnia]

Notes on Calliope vs. Vantas

When we first came up with Calliope and Vantas, the fact that they were two sides to the exact same coin was completely by accident. Originally, they were going to a couple already pretty far along in their relationship, but I voted against that. I was pretty sick of the Love Saves Everyone narrative and wanted to try something at least a little more different. After that, they were going to end up as a couple half way through the campaign and I still consider their brief relationship canon. I didn't make Vantas aro/ace till about a third of the way into the story. A lot of that was coming to terms with my own identity but a good chunk of it was, admittedly, I felt like their relationship was playing into the Love Saves Everyone trope again, and no matter how I tried to subvert it, Calliope kept dragging it right back.

Now that the campaign is over, I've got a pretty unique perspective on them. I genuinely believe their relationship would have been impossible, that there was no way they were ever going to last as a romantic couple. I think this for two reasons.

Firstly, Calliope had everything handed to her prior to the campaign. Yes, she suffered immensely at the hands of her birth parents, but all of it was soothed by being adopted and doted on endlessly. The only reason she ended up as part of the party was because she was too selfish to obey the only command her parents ever gave her, all for her own safety might I add. Because of this, she had no reason to notice that her behavior was starting to mimic her abusers'. Why would she even bother to notice the pattern when she was given everything she ever wanted? She was completely allowed to resume her childhood and had free access to parental approval and affection.

Where as with Vantas, he never got any comfort at all. From four years old he was forced to make life altering choices, and at twelve he was expected to carry on a rebellion he wanted nothing to do with. He was robbed of his childhood and any kindness he would have developed with it. Had he and Calliope been a long standing couple, they would have destroyed each other. Vantas would have become so resentful and cold, whereas Calliope would have become demanding and petulant.

Secondly, Vantas being aromantic was a massive issue for Calliope. Its canon that in order to feel included and validated, she needed everyone in her social circle to either love her like family or romantically, with no grey area. Vantas did, and will always, love Calliope but he won't ever be in love with her. And that's an issue. She can't classify him as family without invalidating his feelings for her, and making the fact that they've had sex weird. And she can't classify him as romantic either because that's more than what he's experiencing.

I think this is also the reason she never bothered attending Vantas and Leon's wedding. I think the pain of seeing what she could of had would have been too much for her. And by the end of the campaign she was so resentful and bitter, I don't doubt that she would have ruined the wedding to feel validated.

According to what Calliope's creator has said about her in the afterstory, I don't think Calliope has matured at all. I think she's shoved all her harmful behaviours to the back of her mind and expects that using the Ashblood people as props in her narrative and starting a relationship with Isis has fixed her. But it hasn't at all, she's still extremely selfish and sees nothing wrong with appropriating a culture she is not welcome in.

Vantas isn't perfect by any means, but he has very much changed. I will admit I am very biased though. But he's not angry anymore, all the hate has physically caught up with him and forced him to reevaluate himself. Even if he never married Leon, that would still be the case. He knows he'll never get his childhood back or undo his mistakes, he's accepted that and is doing good for himself and the people around him. He's not going out of his way to be a saint, he's living rather quietly and peacefully. He's being gentle with himself, something I not once envisioned for him.

Vantas healed, Calliope didn't.

[vitos-ordination-song]

Birthday of the World is really so good, so many thought provoking stories. I read it first in 2020 when I was teetering on homelessness and other stress but damn. Idk Le Guin has always helped me find clarity and sanity in the darkest times, she brings me back to the source and to my zest for life. Birthday of the World didn’t speak to where I was at the time—it helped me think of things beyond myself and my struggles. I think about so many of the stories in it weekly. Must reads:

“The Matter of Seggri.” Set on a planet where women outnumber men 16 to 1. The result is kind of the oppression of men, though it’s a bit more complicated than that. Le Guin manages to flip many of the stereotypical gender dynamics on their head in a way that feels realistic and grounded rather than silly. There’s also a lot of pathos in it. I like it most for how it brings to the forefront things not often thought about wrt gender. For instance, the men in the society are considered precious commodities (benevolent sexism most often directed towards women in the real world), and yet their society contains a parody of the extreme brutality and competitiveness of male gendered socialization on earth. The men are constantly vying to reach the top of a hierarchy through games and sexual prowess. Some reach the top and reinforce the system, while others are forced to take part against their will. The society of the women is fascinating as well—there’s lots that will be said, but the most interesting thing to me is the part where a woman says they would have destroyed the men were they not segregated away from them. It made me think—are women afraid of men? Would we dominate them if we could?

“Mountain Ways.” There are two stories set on the planet of O in this collection. I also like “Unchosen Love,” but consider “Mountain Ways” to be one of the highest quality short stories Le Guin wrote. It’s about a complicated relationship in a world of complicated relationships. O marriages are between four people and require both homosexuality and heterosexuality. In this one, two women wish to get married, but there aren’t enough men around to complete the marriage. So one woman disguises herself as a man in order to marry herself, her partner, a man, and another woman. Crazy stuff. The marriage begins with deception, and one of the partners is more dedicated to making the four-way marriage work than the other. I really felt the love between the women. So much of Le Guin’s writing centers on the importance of heterosexual monogamy, and I do like how she writes that 95% of the time, but it’s so nice to see her branch out.

“Solitude.” One of those Le Guin personal narratives about growing up at the crossroads of culture. A girl’s mother is a scifi anthropologist studying a planet’s culture. She involves her children in her study. As she learns about the culture, she senses that it is backwards—it is not accepting of the new, it is anti-social, and it endangers her children. She seeks to withdraw from it. But her daughter has grown up as part of the culture and understands it—fits in perfectly to it. Thus the mother and daughter must be at odds with each other. It’s about their struggle and about, as the title says, solitude. The planet is inhabited by people who keep to themselves. They fear social power, the mere attempt to influence another’s thinking, which they refer to as magic. Really great one.

“Paradises Lost.” A story about a generation of people who were born on a space ship in between earth and a new home. It’s one of the longest in the book and full of amazing detail. It’s influenced my own writing—for instance, a fascination with our relationship with earth and what would happen if we were cut off from it. There’s also the birth of a new religious movement in this story which is fascinating.