#i dislike him more than i ever did bella

[cbrownjc]

Hi, Fun question I had while waiting for episode 6

Do you think Lestat, Daniel, Armand and Louis would like the twilight movies? Why and to which character would they relate the most?

Have a nice day!

Hi!

Well, first I should admit to you that I don't like Twilight. I've always disliked it since I read the first book before the first movie even came out. (And that is the only book in the series I've read BTW, though I have seen all 4 films -- only the first one in theaters though). So I actually don't know how objective I can be about this question . . . but I'll try. 🤔

And oh, you know what? I think Anne Rice herself commented on what Lestat and Louis thought about Twilight in a Facebook post back in the day, even though I don't have a copy of it. Which probably has a nicer reaction to it than I would give them about it. Or, at least what their book versions think about the series.

But I'm assuming you asking about the show versions of the characters and what they think, and with that? Well --! 😈

IMO, Lestat, and Louis both would find the whole movie series mostly hilarious IMO, just like they did Nosferatu. I can also see Lestat needling Louis a little bit wrt the whole "Bella has visions of Edward" thing if Lestat knows about Louis having visions of him during his first few years in Paris, and Louis being annoyed by that and insisting it was a totally different thing when it came to him -- given that, for one he was an actual vampire at the time unlike her and "vampire bond" and all of that -- and he is nothing like Bella Swann thank you! Anyway, Lestat saves most of his snark and laughter for The Volturi however because, as far as a coven that is supposed to be the head of the vampire world, how ineffective are they!?

Louis is also the only one out of the four who's even bothered to read all of the books in the series, even the most recent ones like Midnight Sun. He thinks they are less funny than the movies, but that's more because he didn't have Lestat in his ear making comments or laughing along with him as he read them. And hey, he can admit he does relate to the "not wanting to eat humans" thing of the Cullens though, sadly, the way that works in their world doesn't in the real one. 😔 Louis also knows that if Jasper Hale was real, he would purposefully antagonize the hell out of him on sight for that Confederate Army stuff (because if you think the issue of slavery wouldn't come up at some point --!)

Armand, being the true cinephile of the group would, IMO, find the films terrible just as films. And he thinks Bill Condon fell off as a director once he did that series, which is sad because Condon's Gods and Monsters is a film he greatly likes. However, he couldn't help but wonder if Stephenie Meyer was used by some ancient vampire -- via the Mind Gift -- to write this series of stories for the mortal world that gets so much of real vampire lore so very wrong on purpose (he read the first book and that was enough); and that maybe she was used by some ancient vampires to do so to hide something from the mortal world about something that was going on in the actual vampire world at the time. He looked into that idea very much at the time and, even though he didn't find anything, he still looks into it on occasion from time to time still, years later. But look, as far as the main story itself goes, Armand gets Edward not wanting to turn Bella. He just thinks Edward went about it all wrong. And he lowkey also gets Jacob obsessing over Bella too -- but he doesn't want to look at why he does too much.

Daniel was forced to watch all 4 movies with his younger daughter -- one of the few things as a deadbeat dad he did do with her when she would spend time with him after the divorce. (Same reason he's seen all the Harry Potter movies as well.) He thinks they're okay -- not the best thing he's ever seen, but not the worst. And he weirdly understands Bella's obsession with Edward for some reason -- he even feels a kind of sympathy toward her about it, though he of course logically knows she should just get over it because it would be the healthier thing to do.

If you are a fan of the Twilight series I hope you weren't too offended by this answer to the question. Because yeah, I can't pretend to like that series, and so my answer was going to have the characters snarking and critiquing it in some way, if not just mostly indifferent about it (in the case of Daniel).

[victoriaplaysims]

i gave the goths the makeover they deserve

i think i'll always see the goths as i did in ts2 (except mortimer is younger and bella is yk, not kidnapped). i did my best to represent them that way. this includes giving them all new traits, interests, likes and dislikes, jobs, skills - everything.

by: @victoriaplaysims

cc links and character presentations under the cut

bella goth: growing up, bella constantly daydreamed of glamour, fashion, paparazzi, the biggest stars in del sol valley - and of course herself, being right there in the center of it all. bella loved the years she had spent in the city, surrounding herself with the hottest it girls and heart throbs. she had it all; the perfect life, the perfect clothes, and the perfect top ranked soccer player fiancé - until she found him in bed with his personal assistant, that is. bella left del sol valley that night and never returned. she moved back in with her parents and six months later, she ran into a childhood friend at bella's mom's art gallery, and as they say, the rest is history.

hair, makeup, lashes, dress, skin details: one two three

mortimer goth: coming from a long line of succesful ceos, scientists and world leaders, mortimer had his life planned out since before he was born. there was no choice, no option other than to always do better, do more, change the world of both business and knowledge. all he has ever known is hard work, scientific break throughs and black tie events as a member of the board of the goth institute of science. he often stays late at the lab, working on his special, very classified project. rumour has it he is optimizing and redefining what it means to be a sim today - but is there such a thing as the perfect sim? and is perfection always a good idea?

glasses, pants, skindetails: one

cassandra goth: yes, she has grown up in an old haunted mansion and yes, her dad is a weird science guy, but cassie is more than just a goth. she's the perfect mix of both of her parents - she inherited her mom's charisma and her dad's brain power. cassie refuses to acknowledge her future as a member of the goth board of blah blah and locks herself in her bedroom as soon as mortimer starts talking about the future. for now, cassie just want to be a normal teenager, doing normal teenager stuff, and focus on her book club simstagram. she has the rest of her life to worry about her future.

hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, glasses, sweater, skirt, skin details: one

alexander goth: from an outside perspective, alex might seem too young to be involved in what it means to be a goth -a future leader and all the pressure it brings. but his father has been preparing him for over a year already. "one can never start too soon, when there's much to do" mortimer always says, and then goes on and on about things alex never understands. so he just nods along and tries to keep an attentive smile on his face - but that's only on the outside. on the inside, there's a big, scary monster in his stomach that's trying to eat him alive. alex is lucky to have simon by his side when he starts feeling this way. simon is a boy around alex's age, he says he has lived in the goth mansion for a very, very, very long time and he can walk through the walls. alex, however, can not.

hair, eyelashes

thank you to all the cc creators: @simstrouble @oshinsimblr @miikocc @kijiko-sims @sentate @tamo-sim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @lamatisse @imvikai @twisted-cat @johnnysimmer

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

it seems really unfair that the movies made edward's religious baggage come from carlisle. surely they could've put the "vampires have no souls" thing on someone else, like, idk, esme? her believing vampires are soulless might explain her whole head-in-the-clouds deal. if it's carlisle that thinks vampires have no souls then it makes him turning the others really questionable imo.

Believe it or not, I understand why the film team made this decision and in their position I probably would have done the same thing.

Adaptations, Films and Profits, Robert Patterson, and a World Without Risk

Let's start at the beginning.

The goal of the Twilight film series was to capitalize on the immense popularity of the books just as much (if not more so) than to tell the story of Twilight. Stephanie Meyer was decently involved and was pleased with the direction (as opposed to the original draft of the script, which Meyer strongly disliked, which is rumored to have featured among other things Bella as an FBI agent shooting vampires) but she seemed to have accepted it was an adaptation and things had to change for it to make sense in the transition. So long as the spirit of Twilight was captured, she was happy.

And here's where we run into an interesting dilemma.

In the novels, we see the characters through Bella's eyes. We hear what Bella thinks and understands why she does what she does (without this, Bella's not only very quiet but borderline incomprehensible). We're attracted to Edward because Bella's attracted to Edward, she finds his terse frowning and dark moods Byronic and romantic, she finds his arrogance and pride charming and sexy, she finds his vampiric nature dark and sexy. Bella puts on the greatest rose colored glasses imaginable to frame Edward in the way we're supposed to see him.

Films don't have that.

Even if they went full narration (which they did not), we would still see both Edward and Bella from a perspective that's not Bella's. We have to see him on camera, interacting with Bella in real time, and Bella can't tell us what we're supposed to see.

Which is a problem because Edward per his dialogue and actions towards Bella is not likeable.

He's constantly frowning, constantly in dark moods and a deep depression, and while he has his moments of happiness which shine for it, for all he says he's very interested in Bella he doesn't express it well. He says fucking bizarre horrifying things like his plans to murder all of Biology, or his plans to kill himself should Bella ever die, his comparisons of Bella Swan to ice cream and then uh heroin, his casually confessing to having planned Mike's murder in gruesome detail for the crime of talking to Bella Swan.

Now imagine if you saw this on screen.

Bella and Edward aren't in a cutesy teenage romance, they're not flirting (and when they are it's fucking weird), Edward's frowning all the time and is too interested in being miserable to be interested in Bella, Bella in turn is just sitting there not saying anything or doing anything, this is dark, boring, and... not something teenagers actually want to watch.

I don't know who exactly this was, my thoughts are likely the producers, but they took a look at the script and went, "Holy fuck, this won't sell tickets."

(Hilariously, this is where Robert comes in, as in I know why he did what he did in doubling down that Edward's this brooding mess, but he made a mistake explainable as it being early in his career: he didn't realize the production staff didn't want Edward at all. Edward better fucking smile.)

Both Bella and Edward had to be greatly changed from their novel counterparts without uh... changing the plot at all despite making them entirely different people.

Which means that we have to change things that are less important to make sure the plot still happens.

Let's Get Back to the Souls Thing

In the book, the only reason that really weathers the storm of why Edward won't turn Bella is that she'll lose her soul.

That she'll lose her human life is a weak argument when in Twilight, Bella had to go on the run anyway and was nearly tortured to death because Edward wouldn't turn her. Edward, in fact, risked her life and nearly killed her just so that she wouldn't become a vampire.

That she'll eat humans doesn't stand up without admitting (and not glossing over details) that most of the Cullens have accidentally eaten humans and Edward really did go on quite the bender. That's not something the production team would want to focus on in order to make Edward and the Cullens likeable. (Which is why the films spent about 0.05 seconds on both of these details).

On the other hand, if Edward has deep religious convictions that Bella will become a soulless husk and abomination on becoming a vampire... that's starting to sound reasonable.

Except that it isn't.

Because if vampires are soulless husks, then how are we supposed to like Edward and the Cullens. In the books, we get around this by characters like Carlisle denoting that he himself, a very religious person, believes differently but that he understands why Edward believes what he does and that he once did too as well as Edward realizing vampires do have souls upon Renesmee being born.

But the problem is, this makes Edward look overly dogmatic and unhinged in a way that you just don't want your romantic teenage lead to be in what's supposed to be a generic romantic teen film.

It makes Edward seem unrelatable to the teenage audience.

However, if Edward's beliefs are the product of somebody else, then the audience can safely remain enamored with Edward and treat him as a poor woobie whose tragic self-hatred is fueled by a) being a vampire b) his parents.

Teenagers get being fucked up by their parents.

So, Why Carlisle?

A few reasons.

One, the films really want us to like Esme. Like most the characters, Esme got a complete makeover in a positive direction. Esme is now the mom figure who's a mom appropriate age and acting like the cool mom we'd all like to have. She's a great character.

However, they don't want to make her unlikeable/as weird as she was in the books. They want you to like the Cullens, remember? Add onto this that Esme never was religious in the books and didn't have any meaningful conversation with Bella. They would be adding weird, unlikable, aspects to her character that weren't there originally. So, it can't be Esme.

Alice, while Edward's best friend and favorite sibling, has also gotten a makeover to chique cosmpolitan girl best friend who will gladly take you shopping. She can't be Edward's wingman to the same degree she was in canon because she's not. Also, see above with Esme, she was never a religious character so it'd be weird coming from her and nobody would like it.

Well, a vampire on the side of the road can't have told Edward this, as that would just make no sense and be a cop out.

Carlisle, however, is already a religious character and better yet gave the first half of the speech he gives in the film to Bella in the novel. He explains that Edward believes vampires are damned creatures who don't have souls. There's a "however" though as the part that was cut is Carlisle explaining he once believed the same, but in time came to see that vampires could be worthy of the afterlife and were not inherently damned. He notes that this is something Edward's struggling with and just how he views vampirism.

So they already took what Carlisle had said in the novel, they just cut out the last bit.

But isn't it a Problem Making Carlisle Unlikeable?

Not really.

Carlisle's a relatively minor character in the series. Certainly, far less important than Edward. No one really cares if Carlisle looks like a hypocrite or his motivations have changed.

He already said half of what he said in the books and nobody would blink if he left the second half of it out.

And, frankly, nobody did blink.

People wondered what the fuck was up with Carlisle turning people if they had no souls and were damned, but for the most part fans were fine with him being less than ideal if they thought him less than ideal at all in the films.

He's vampire dad, he really has very little bearing on Edward and Bella's love story, which is what the film was there to sell tickets for.

TL;DR

To make Edward look better in the films, they had to make everyone else look worse.

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 5

In which yet another YT video comes out about how Twilight hate isn’t misogynist, actually, and so I must eat. Om nom nom

“Twilight Is Illogical!!1!1”

We literally have an in-canon explanation for how Bella’s shield works in Eclipse AND Breaking Dawn. Her shield only works against illusions and anything mental. Anything physical she is vulnerable. Jasper affects you physiologically, not mentally. Alice sees actions; she doesn’t actually get into your mind. Jane and Edward’s powers are mental, so they do not work on her. It’s literally the same logic as Harry resisting the Imperious Curse in Goblet of Fire.

(Also, Bella does have a Quileute relative, Molly Swan. Just strengthens my Jacob-as-socially-determined-mate headcanon).

“Twilight Is Pro-Life!!1!1!”

This is where Twilight clownery really delves into full-on deranged.

Every vampire in the Twilight Saga is harmful or potentially harmful to humanity, EVERYONE. The majority of the cast is (potentially) dangerous to humanity in some way, shape, or form. Calling Bella selfish for wanting her (wanted) child to be born is the height of misogyny. No mother who actually wants her child would choose differently. Bella had a plan to survive the birth—a very risky one, but she was willing to do it. And nobody and I mean nobody knew how Renesmee would turn out. This shit was unprecedented and über rare.

Bella was not willing to die for a baby. She was willing to risk her life for Edward’s child.

This was made explicit when Jacob in desperation (following a crazed Edward’s idea) offered to father her children in exchange for Bella aborting hers—only to have Bella LAUGH at him in his face. Bella dngaf about having children per se. It was because the kid she was having was Edward’s.

(Also. Rosalie wants more than a baby. Rosalie wants to be human, which to her basic-ass traditional 20th century mind includes getting married with children. A baby is part-and-parcel to that mortality. What is interesting to me is that, despite the fact that Rosalie is very trad wife and even pro-baby, the narrative still frames her as selfish and self-centered in her vicariousness. Jacob is absolutely disgusted with her for caring more about the baby than Bella, and Edward feels exactly the same way. That is one reason why Breaking Dawn is not pro life propaganda—it is above all a romance, in which Renesmee acts both as an obstacle and consummation).

Everyone was sympathetic to Leah until she became a werewolf and not only brought her baggage but would deliberately bring it up to hurt Sam. Yeah, no shit the Quileute boys would hate her, ditto Jacob. Only when she joined Jacob’s pack did she lighten up (because she was free from Sam!) and Jacob realized she wasn’t bad, just dealing with a broken heart. And honestly a very capable werewolf.

As for Rosalie, nobody hated her for her backstory either. Bella disliked her because Rosalie hated her and wouldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her! Edward hated her as a brother “hates” his sister with two very different personalities. Rosalie’s backstory was very much meant to humanize her.

Twilight Is Racist Round ♾️

Literally every major character is magical. This is a fucking fantasy romance novel! Had the Quileutes been the only magical entities, Clown OP may have had a point. But not in this literal supernatural romance where even regular humans can have magical powers! What is this deranged clownery?

Twilight Is Sexist Round ♾️

“I’ve only ever watched the movies, but—” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Bella didn’t feel like she fit in with her peers because she was essentially raised as a parent to take care of her mother. As in, paying bills. She didn’t have a normal childhood; that was denied her. Getting out of her parentification is part of her arc and drives a key part of her desire to be with Edward. Edward she never has to parent or take care of in the same way as her parents or even Jacob.

Also, her friends were canonically fake (Angela excepted). Jessica only was friends with her because of Mike’s interest and of the boys only Mike, Ben, and Tyler were interested. Lauren straight up didn’t like her.

“Twilight Is Mormon!1!!111”

Clown OP was this close to getting it. This close.

“Twilight Is ~~~So Ridiculous!!1!!”

Or it could be just basic-ass standard tropes for supernatural/paranormal romance. Y’know, since Twilight is a supernatural/paranormal romance.

…Yeah, this clown definitely hasn’t read enough romance novels, lol. Because let me tell you, Twilight is super sane compared to the shit I have read, i.e. bodice rippers.

And all those bodice rippers were nothing compared to the telenovelas I grew up with. Nothing.

[sofoulandfairaday]

Hello! I absolutely love your Delphini headcanons, I feel like her character in the Cursed Child did such an injustice to both Voldemort and Bellatrix >:/

If you don't mind, can you do a pt 2 about Delphini in an AU where the Lestranges and Voldemort live/win + raise her to be just as amazing!!

Hi! Thank you for the ask, anon ❤️

I'm glad you like them, since she's a character I personally really disliked in the play (not even her as a person, but she's just so horribly written- TCC as a whole makes me cringe so bad).

For reference, they are talking about this post especially and also this one about her conception & birth and this one too (for good measure).

Warning: anon, I know you want fluff. But you're not getting it from me, I'm an angsty bitch, and the following is angst.

So. The only way I can see Voldemort wanting for a child is for his own personal gain, to have a backup plan in case his body fails. A sort of dark magic experiment. Perhaps he knew his time in his own body was limited (and he did go for the Stone first).

Boy or girl, the sex of the baby doesn't matter to him, it's just a body, just a clump of organs and cells and blood and power - do not get attached, Bellatrix.

She tries to obey his commands but fails miserably the more time she spends with the child, which is more than you'd think, seeing as she's been punished and put under house arrest.

Bellatrix's desire for a little boy, a little Master, one who actually loves her, is indescribable. Voldemort is the one who would prefer a girl. He gets his wish.

The Battle of Hogwarts is somehow won. How? I'll go ahead and say that Draco never disarmed Dumbledore on the Astronomy Tower, ergo Snape was the Master of the Elder Wand, ergo Voldemort manages to kill Harry, but all his Horcruxes are destroyed, Nagini included. As for Bella, deus-ex-machina doesn't work here, so she defeats Molly.

Narcissa did still lie, so the three Malfoys are sooo fucked.

Rodolphus and Rabastan both live. The latter goes down a spiral of hedonism in Ibiza, the former is just so done. In the last year, he escaped from Azkaban and was promptly shot out of the sky, was publicly cucked, his Gringotts' Vault was broken into and he has now been through a battle to the death in his former high school. Little Cissy, who he's known since he was a child, was killed before his very eyes and his wife is hiding her obvious pain and betrayal.

As for the relationship between Bellatrix and Rodolphus, I can see a few things happening. In this AU, I feel like Voldemort would ultimately make Bella his official concubine. I accept a variety of headcanons on what happens next because I ultimately accept a variety of different (conflicting) views on what the Lestranges' marriage is like.

(1) Nothing changes. He's still her husband, whether he still loves her or not (and I think he does). He stays with her because of the position & power her closeness to Voldemort grants him.

This, I feel, depends on whether or not she is allowed to share his bed, how possessive you think Voldemort is (and his whole relationship to sex & intimacy), and Bellatrix's own ambitions. If she sees the option to be seen as a wife to the Dark Lord, even if not in name, she would take it. But I don't think Voldemort would ever grant her that, so in turn Bellatrix wouldn't let go of the title of Madame Lestrange that easily. Rodolphus can sleep with other people, but can't get rid of her, especially of his own volition.

Or maybe she's just greedy. Rodolphus wants a divorce because he wants an heir of his own and a wife he can sleep with and she goes "Nope, nu-uh, too bad", and tells herself it's not because she deep down needs his love.

(2) They get amicably divorced and are still friends/have a good relationship. Bella has lost both her sisters now, and Voldemort is still Voldemort.

This happens especially if he wants children of his own. But realistically, I think he just starts pestering Rabastan until he gets married (“To a woman, Rab, a WOMAN!”) and has little Lestranges to carry on the family name.

Delphi has her mother's eyes. Dark, and entrancing. Rodolphus wants to hate her, he really does, but he cannot bring himself to. She's the spitting image of little Bella, and looking at her is bittersweet.

I think he avoids her in the beginning (this also depends on Rod's characterization - whether he doesn't care about children and never wanted them, or he desperately wished he'd have one with Bella - the answer exists on a spectrum).

But Bellatrix and Voldemort are not parents of the year. Also, they have such a unique relationship, one so unhealthy and all-encompassing, that it shuts out the rest of the world, their daughter included. And Rod can't help but feel bad for this lonely girl.

The really tragic thing is that - and I'm sorry but this is the truth, and it sucks - Bellatrix would never love her daughter more than she loves the Dark Lord. This knowledge is a trauma factory in itself, but to make matters worse, this child's father is Voldemort, who has no concept of what selflessness and selfless love are. Since Rodolphus is clearly the most emotionally intelligent of the three (the bar is low), some part of his dark little heart must recognize this.

Also, the Dark Lord is a man with a plan. He has no more Horcruxes left, he needs another one. Guess who?

The downside to this is that he needs to anchor his child to life - no matter, she is just an extension of him, after all. Children being their own people? Nah. - but more importantly this means he's paranoid now. More than he was before. His soul is so unstable that he cannot make new Horcruxes, Delphi is his last one, so he needs to protect her with all that he has.

When she's a child, she doesn't see him much. She lives a sheltered life, with her mother who loves her very much and gives her as much affection as she can, but who ultimately follows the Dark Lord around like a puppy, and Uncle Rod. Uncle Rod is the only reason this poor girl's childhood even resembles a childhood.

She isn't allowed friends, and Papa (Voldemort cringes every time he hears this, and teaches her to call him My Lord, the way your mother does when she's about five) won't allow anyone near her.

He's also very particular about her health, and her studies. He gets updates on how her magic is manifesting (violently; Delphi is immensely powerful) and decides he will teach her personally when she turns seven.

He demands she spend her days training and studying: grammar, math, history, the basics of potion-making; her mother insists that she learn her ancestry (the whole of the Black Family, and the Gaunts, and even some Lestranges, for good measure), Abraxan riding, the basics of etiquette (I hated it too, Delphini, but that's not a good enough reason for you to conduct yourself like a savage!, while Rodolphus shakes his head incredulously, wishing Druella was there to hear it). Rod teaches her how to dance and wants to teach her Quidditch, but both Bella and the Dark Lord grumble what a waste of time, so he settles on teaching her how to fly a broom (Voldemort still grumbles because he can fly without a broom and will eventually teach Delphi to do the same, but Bella is mollified and allows it).

Her flying lessons with her father (she can get away with calling him her father and takes advantage of that) are some of her most cherished memories, actually. He has granted no one else this honour, not even her mother. (She doesn't know about Snape and no one ever mentions him anymore, so...)

Bella gives her her very first magic lessons, when she's seven or eight, but soon grows bored with it (powerful as Delphi is she needs to start from the most basic Wingardium Leviosas, spells that Bella now performs nonverbally and wandlessly, without even thinking about it, and revisiting the movements and theory behind them bores her to tears). She leaves it to her father who - surprisingly - has much more patience than she does.

He was her teacher too, after all.

By the time Delphi is 11, she could sit a Charms N.E.W.T. and pass with flying colours, and she's very good at Transfiguration too.

Voldemort sees no reason for her to ever go to Hogwarts.

Are you surprised? I bet you are.

After all, Hogwarts was his first and best home, the only place he ever felt was his own, the best experience of his life. I doubt he loved anyone or anything as much as he loved Hogwarts, the symbol of being a wizard to him. Denying anyone that experience, especially his own daughter, reads as an unspeakable cruelty. But he's never said he wasn't cruel. Granting her that - fundamental, wonderful, life-changing -experience would be selfless, it would be the right thing to do.

But Delphi is his Horcrux, his key to immortality, and quite plainly... his. He doesn't give a flying fuck that she has very few social skills, no friends, has no idea how to talk to people her own age. He doesn't trust her to meet other people, to make connections, to fall in love, basically to be exposed to anything that might turn her against him, or endanger her (him).

Being a manipulative bastard, he tells a tantrum-throwing Delphi that she can choose: go to Hogwarts and spend seven years revisiting stuff she already knows, surrounded by people who aren't worthy to lick her boots, and I cannot deny how disappointed I would be, Delphini (and this just ends the conversation because Delphi would kill herself before actively choosing to disappoint her father) or she can finally come and live with Bellatrix and him, and they will teach her the Dark Arts and whatever else she wants. Most of all, it's the promise they'll be there, that she'll have as much access to them as she wants.

By the time she's an adult, she's much more powerful than Bellatrix ever was. (And I won't lie to you, Bella doesn't particularly love this.) But still, she cannot beat her father. What sets them apart is the source of their power. Delphi, despite the ache she feels for her parents' love and affection, was born coddled and cared for. Her mother especially would never shut up about how she was a literal princess, royalty, the heir of Slytherin, etc. She never had to fight for it. She didn't hear bombs falling on London, didn't starve in a cold orphanage in the East End, was never tied to a bed and exorcised as the Devil's spawn- she was never truly hungry.

For all that they can teach her, they cannot make her ambitious. If she had gone to Hogwarts, she would have still been a Slytherin, based on her heritage and values, but she is nothing like her parents, character-wise. Bellatrix fought against the contraints of her society and her gender, Voldemort fought against his blood status and his fear of death.

The source of conflict in Delphi's story, on the other hand, is the family dynamics between the three of them. (You can make them as horrifying as you want, there is really no limit to the worst, as we say in Italy).

Delphi was born in the cage, loves the cage, and doesn't want to be free. If anything, she wants to be pulled further into it. I think there would be some sort of weird rivalry there, between her and Bella, for Voldemort's affections because they really are that scarce. But it would also come wrapped in a thick layer of guilt - what mother hates their daughter when she is overshadowed? What kind of daughter hates the only parent that actually loves her?

(Voldemort doesn't even realize he pits them against each other, half the time. He does that to people, it's almost subconscious now.)

She's deeply alone, by design, and only wants to be close to her mom and (especially) her dad. That is literally the only character trait she has in that dammned play, so I'll keep that as part of her personality.

Voldemort definitely did that on purpose. And as soon as he finally notices tensions rise between her and Bellatrix (I think Delphi's teenage years were even more rebellious than Bellatrix's) he puts a stop to it immediately - if you drive the girl away from me, from us, Bella, I will make you pay personally.

I can see Delphi running away from home and getting into trouble because of her complete lack of awareness on how the world actually works, begging (through the Dark Mark or whatever else) her father to come rescue her, and Tom (who obviously watches from afar, to make sure his Horcrux isn't truly destroyed) saying no, deal with it. She gets out of most of it because of her immense power, but these brushes with real life leave her rattled.

Can you imagine a boy trying to hit on her?

If he knows who she is, she can never truly trust him: they're all trying to curry favour with her father (it's possibly the worst way ever to do so- trying to take something from him). If he doesn't, her absolute lack of social skills and general arrogance put a dent in her physical attractiveness. (She is a beautiful girl; after all, her parents are Tom Riddle and Bellatrix Black.)

Delphi is more powerful than Bellatrix, her position in society is higher than Bellatrix's and still, her father trusts her mother more than her.

By the way, no, she isn't his named heir, she isn't the commander of his armies or anything of the sort. Voldemort does not share power, that's the whole point of his character. The Minister is still a puppet minister, he is the commander of his own armies, and Bella is a close second.

She also doesn't make that many public appearances; people know of her by now, but they aren't granted access - the image of Nagini, his last Horcrux, in that magical cage resonates with me. It takes years before the war is truly over.

She grows up to be a wonderfully intriguing mix of arrogance and insecurity. Much like Bella, she grows up with the burden of being told she was destined for greatness because of her blood, her family, and not because she herself is great. Unlike Bella, Voldemort has no intention of setting her free, not even in the half-hearted way he does Bellatrix (guys, as much as we love them, she is very much his slave, however willing, in canon). She's the ultimate girlboss: beautiful, smart, powerful... 2/10 personality.

You can do what you want with her story from here onwards. One more tragic than the other. Or you can give them a happy ending, provided that Voldemort's brave new world knows what therapy is.

I don't think this is what you wanted, anon, but alas it's what I genuinely think would happen. Delphi's """"character traits""" in the play are her cunning (that she developed to survive, and that she wouldn't necessarily need in a world where she grows up a pureblood princess), her loneliness and the bone-deep need she feels for her parents' love. Since she wouldn't be herself without those... yup. This is my view.

(Sorry.)

[not-psychotic]

i wanted to reblog, but then i figured i didn't want to take up space in your notes in case this is an astronomically bad take, but. regarding the hannibal liking/disliking bella discourse.

i think one of my favourite aspects of the episodes involving bella is the nuance with which her relationship with hannibal is treated.

on her part, she trusts him and considers him if not a friend then an ally. she likes him enough to be willing to die in front of him, enough to bring him a token of her gratitude.

hannibal feels about her the same way he feels about a lot of people on the show: indifferent, but faintly amused. there's like a distinction between the humans he considers no better than pigs, humans he only deems worthy of his time because he can play with them/enjoy what intellectual stimulation he can get from them (think jack, bedelia, abigail, alana, and yeah, even bella), and finally people like will.

he throws a coin to decide whether he wants to save her or not precisely because he feels so ambivalent. if he had disliked her the same way he did... i don't know, franklin? he probably would have poured himself some wine and just let her pass. i think he betrayed his indifference in throwing the coin, and when it landed on the "right" side, he was acting in a way that would protect him from any judgement, as is his usual.

after all, a doctor is morally obligated to give first aid to anyone in need of it – it's literally in their oath. if questioned about it, he could have defended himself by saying that while he respected bella's freedom, by choosing to die in front of him she had put him in the position to save her.

i think the best part about his manipulative skills is that he always, always covers himself by making it sound as if he were in a corner, forced by circumstances apparently out of his control to act in a certain way. he had to kill tobias, or he would have died. he had to save bella, or he would have betrayed what all doctors stand for. no one can question him, so he acts undetected.

at the same time, i wonder how much bella actually trusted him. she didn't seem too friendly with him, almost as if unnerved by his presence. she knew he was a doctor, knew that he would be obligated to help her, so why choose to die in front of him? she says she didn't want jack to find her, but i'm sure there must have been plenty other ways to go about that without involving hannibal. honestly i'm curious to know if maybe she also wanted to know what hannibal would do.

sorry now, this has become a GIGANTIC ask and i don't even know how i got here. but yeah, that's just my twopence on their dynamic, because it's really interesting and criminally overlooked. anyways. hope you have a good day!

yeah he flips the coin because he doesn’t care to make the choice himself. as to their relationship, we only ever see bella in scenes with jack or with hannibal or both. she wanted to die, she didn’t want jack to find her so her only other option was hannibal. which is extremely sad. saying that hannibal saving her was one of his “nice” “selfless” moments is insane to me. bella wanted to escape and hannibal plunged her right back into the miserable life she tried to escape from, now more trapped than before. and we shouldn’t act like the hippocratic oath is important to hannibal in any way

[saintsenara]

You are both hilarious and insightful, so…I’ve created a second edition of my ship ask:

Classic: Neville/Luna

Niche: Snape/Narcissa

Tastefully deranged: Voldemort/one of his horcruxes

Deranged: Umbridge/Filch

Crack: Fudge/Margret Thatcher, who canonically tried to throw him from a window (quite an enemies to lovers opener…)

thank you for the ask anon! these are amazingly deranged...

neville longbottom/luna lovegood

i have the toxic trait of really disliking fanon!luna. my girl is not a dreamily misunderstood clairvoyant, dispensing pearls of folksy wisdom. she's a conspiracy theorist.

which is to say, show me a neville/luna where they're both being sweet and taking edibles and talking about, idk, how plants are our friends, and it's a no.

show me neville returning to his pre-war awkward passivity and therefore unsure about what to do in the face of luna coming home with "evidence" that seed oils destroy the magical core and the battle of hogwarts was a hoax, and i'll tune in.

narcissa malfoy/severus snape

i sincerely think this is implied by canon - how do you know where he lives, eh, narcissa? - and that it's probably one of the better relationships either of them ever have. after all, they are aligned on how children should be raised [not as death eaters], what relationship to have with your in-laws [bella and wormtail, you are not wanted here], and what to do with a toxic boss [lie to his face]. all things that matter.

and let's be honest, lucius malfoy has selfish-in-bed vibes, but severus "i will sacrifice everything for even a crumb of your regard" snape? oh, he fucks.

lord voldemort/his horcruxes

this one obviously has several potential manifestations...

voldemort/the non-living objects the horcruxes are made from:

if you can find a way to fuck a tiara, full respect to you.

voldemort/nagini:

nagini's a lesbian, so she ignores all advances and flirts with the malfoys' peahens instead. importantly, she has only ever been a snake and the fantastic beasts films don't exist.

voldemort/harry:

canon.

voldemort/the victims

i have a soft spot for the potential of tom riddle/myrtle warren, because i was also an annoying and dramatic teenage girl, and sometimes those girls should be allowed a little crush on the hottest boy in school at a treat.

tom riddle/tom riddle sr.? well, voldemort does have unbelievable daddy issues...

voldemort/hepzibah smith? only if he got a payrise for doing it.

voldemort/unknown locket and diadem murders? why not.

voldemort/lily potter? hot, but he was too busy simping for james [no he did not face you "like a man, straight backed and proud", he ran into the hall without a wand, flailed, and then died] to notice the potential.

voldemort/frank bryce? i'm not entirely sure that soul baby had the ability to fuck, but if there's anyone who knows enough magic to try...

tomcest:

tomcest should appeal to me - and frequently does - because if there's anyone who would consider the only suitable partner for himself to be - well - himself, it's lord voldemort.

but.

i am someone who is quite critical of the default sexual dynamics in a lot of voldemort-centric slash [especially tomarrymort], which i often find to replicate a lot of heteronormative ideas about queer sex. voldemort is generally written as exclusively topping, largely - it seems - because many authors and readers equate taking that position with being in control of/more powerful than the bottom.

i prefer a dark lord who'll try anything, because enjoying getting railed doesn't make you any less capable of being a terrorist. and, luckily, there are lots of fics which feel the same way, and i've had lots of great conversations with other voldemort enjoyers about it.

but, one thing i think is worth being aware of is that a significant percentage of bottom!voldemort fics are tomcest, which - in my opinion - kind of defeats the point of saying that bottoming doesn't automatically require a relinquishing of power or a choice of passivity - obviously voldemort would be prepared to be passive with himself.

what i'd like to see more of is a voldemort who doesn't think the way he likes to get fucked reveals passivity at all, whether he's with himself or not, but atm i'm finding tomcest isn't entirely bringing it to me.

argus filch/dolores umbridge

i reckon this would be quite mutually fulfilling, actually. they do caretaker/headmistress role-play. i.e. their jobs.

cornelius fudge/margaret thatcher

fudge is elected in 1990, which means he gets to meet thatcher while she's on her way out, seeing betrayal around every corner. hurt/comfort for dayysssss.

[whydoistilllikethehost]

I just reread The Host and I found your blog! I have no one else to spill to, so I’m going to go on a rant in your inbox lol. Ignore if it’s too much!

I too have a few points of contention with the book. I dislike how nothing is ever addressed, like the dissonance between the Souls being horrified that the living flowers on the Fire World had human-like sentience and then the simultaneous justification of erasing humans when inhabiting their bodies. (No offense to the rebels, but I think Melanie and Lacey were outliers, and it wasn’t because they were particularly strong or stubborn. I think they got lucky and if their Souls had remained with them for longer, they too would have been erased. Also would have added some urgency to separating Melanie and Wanderer IMO.) Whether they’re being erased or eaten, two sentient things are disappearing, so why is one murder and the other isn’t?

What makes Seekers so different? Why was The Seeker able to kill Wes when Wanderer was unable to ‘kill’ Kyle by leaving him behind? I wonder what the difference in compassion was, whether The Seeker’s experience during the occupation made a difference.

I also think it’s so weird that Wanderer was a virgin? Like she’s thousands of years old and I totally get that she’d never fallen in love, but I think it’s wild that it’s implied that Jared and Ian have had sex because they’re grown men but Wanderer hasn’t because she’s Delicate Fragile Woman? Ah, gender roles.

I wish we’d gotten more of Ian’s POV because I want to know how he fell for Wanderer and not Melanie’s body specifically. I believe he did, but I also believed that Edward genuinely fell for Bella, but in Midnight Sun it was revealed that he fell for her bc he could project a personality onto her silent mind. My main complaint is, if all souls are as kind and considerate as Wanderer is, then Ian could have feasibly fallen for any soul. What makes Wanderer special? I wish the book had covered this.

Obligatory more Shannon and Maggie, more of Doc and Shannon, and more of why Jeb is so okay with Jared dating Melanie other than an apocalypse.

I also wanted a bit more of Wanderer’s experiences as other beings. She told the humans in the caves about the planets and the life there, but very little about her own personal history. I fully believe she’s a bad bitch and the Rides the Beast story plus the entirety of The Host confirms this.

In terms of Kyle’s redemption, I really wanted him to examine why he was so kind to Sunny. Maybe it was because he’d gotten to know Wanderer, but I can’t help but feel like it was because she was in Jodi’s body. Some reflection would be nice, is all I’m saying. Like, what if Sunny had showed up to the caves instead of Wanderer? Would he have killed her?

I have more thoughts but these are all I can think of at the moment. Again, sorry if this is too much! I just got excited at seeing your blog.

Literally ALWAYS feel free to message me about the Host!! I love talking about it.

These are super valid imo. Maybe it’s just smeyer’s writing style but I do feel like she occasionally drops interesting lore/character hints that don’t get fleshed out (or, often, that are contradictory. See rant ahead.).

The one that’s the worst for me, personally, is that she establishes Wanda as this character who really values strength and resilience in the traditional sense. Like literally Wanda cares about being perceived as strong and being assertive and self-sustaining, as we see in the entire first half of the novel.

Then, at the end, she ends up with this super weak (underaged) body that is ultra teeny-tiny. This isn’t a problem in and of itself (other than the UNDERAGE thing). The biggest issue is that everyone around her then infantilizes her to an absurd degree, and somehow this doesn’t bother her??? Plus, it’s not written like her character developed, or anything like that, it’s approached like smeyer genuinely forgot a huge aspect of Wanda’s character?? Like smeyer I’ve said this once already but literally. READ. YOUR OWN. BOOK.

[cjbolan]

What's your favourite scene in any of the Emily Windsnap books?

Mary Penelope regaining all her memories of Jake! From Book 1. It’s my favorite for several reasons…

It’s such a wholesome mother-daughter moment, where she opens up to Emily more than ever.

It’s such an intense and emotionally satisfying moment. After all the BS Emily went through to help her mom remember. Especially after Emily’s first failed attempt. The moment Mary P. regains her memories , she says everything I’ve always wanted to her say!!! First she furiously tells off Mr. Beeston, tells Emily the ENTIRE truth about Jake, and so passionately supports Emily being a mermaid ❤️

It’s THE moment ALL of Emily’s questions — and my questions — are answered. Did her dad really love her and her mom? Why exactly don’t her mom and grandparents get along? How did her mom react to her dad being a merman? So how would she react to her daughter being a mermaid?

It’s the most accurate account we hear of Jake. From someone who loves him and has no reason to lie or hide the truth. Until this point, all we’re told of Jake is that he’s a criminal and a deadbeat dad — from 2 people who clearly dislike Jake, making them unreliable resources. One of those 2 people lied.

We learn just how much Jake and Mary P. sacrificed to stay together. He risked a lifetime of imprisonment for her, she cut all contact with her family for him.

Jake&Mary P’s first meeting has this Romeo & Juliet /Little Mermaid/Pocahontas vibe that makes me instantly root for them for the rest of the series. They also remind of Odysseus and Penelope. Jake&Mary P. were my Edward&Bella.

I just love the imagery of the Rainbow Rocks. I tend to love any scene with them.

They’re probably THE first merman/human romance ever in pop culture. At least the first one I ever read about or saw. Seriously the only other examples I can think of came afterwards (Mabel/Mermando, Elisa/The Amphibian Man, etc.) Which makes me wonder if/why there were any before them.

You can tell this scene is my favorite by how many times I drew it 😉

[owengrose]

Shipper tag game

tagged by my friend @sunriseverse (hi friend!!!!!)

What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

johnlock. listen. i'm aware. i am aware. Thankfully I've grown as a person and now I don't care about anything or anyone associated with that mess of a show.

Which ship would you consider your first one?

uhhhhhh aang/katara maybe? I really wasn't interested in romance that much until like middle school, but I do remember thinking katara and aang should get together as a kid.

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

probably destiel. Actually wait no, guaranteed destiel.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

i was in middle school when Twilight came out, so I can almost guarantee you somebody drew Bella and Edward fanart and showed me. I don't actually know this for sure though, this is just a guess. The first fanart I actually remember seeing was Percy/Annabeth.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

lmao no. it's just not worth it literally ever

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

mmm not really. i have ships where I just don't see it, but I don't usually feel all that strongly about it.

Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Sam/Jack from Stargate! This is entirely @kbunny10 's fault, she got me into Stargate and now I have Feelings.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I mean, always. The biggest ones are probably Morgwen, Sam/Jack, destiel (i thought i was free but then nov 5 happened so......). But I'm not super actively a shipper these days

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

no bc everyone i've ever wanted to get together did so in my heart. Sam and Jack should've gotten together on screen, but In My Heart they did get together so it's chill.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

not that i can think of! my romantic tastes tend to be relatively consistent honestly. maybe the gay ones before i became not homophobic (and then not straight! yayyyyyy!!!!! :D )

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

again, none that i can think of! I'm kind of a normie tbh

What is your favorite crack ship?

so this isn't actually a crack ship but like. Captain Hook and the daughter of Snow White/Prince Charming on OUAT got together. That was a real thing. They really said "you know who we should pair with our main character, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming? Famous villain Captain Hook. Yeah we're gonna make him young and sexy so it's fine." That was a real thing!! It aired on television and I was REALLY invested!! Man OUAT was such a wild ride lmao

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

i thought it was destiel but i checked by ao3 bookmarks and apparently newmann are still unbeat!! shoutout to the year where i was obsessed with those gay little scientists, i went absolutely NUTS for them. My newmann fics that I bookmarked are more than the #2 and #3 ships COMBINED.

What do most of your ships usually have in common?

there's usually an earnestness or a sincerity that either one or both of them has. where one person is just like very open about how much they like/admire the other, or where they engage with people so trustingly, or something along those lines. sometimes its sincere4snarky, sometimes its sincere4sincere, and sometimes its "i'm only earnest around you"

What you absolutely hate in a ship?

lack of communication. it drives me INSANE. unless they're miscommunicating about their feelings for each other, then it's great. but otherwise i hate it bc like, this is your partner!! talk to them!! what the fuck!!

Tagging: @kbunny10, @inesathammar, @cawfeeann, @lacigarra, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[bookwyrminspiration]

…I thought Renesmee was part of the werewolves or was like one of Edward’s family members (like his mom or something). Doesn’t she get with the guy named Jacob or something? (And is Jacob an actually important character or no?)

I know that Edward has an egg outfit, the thing about vampires not being able to change forms, and that someone in the family has the ability to see the future. Oh, and that there’s a character named Alice who someone thinks is pretty

I have to admit, I have a bad memory so I don’t remember everything.

I’m sorry for offending you, and the other twilight fans with my lack of knowledge. (/lh)Anyway, I hope that you are doing well.

-⚙️

Oh boy where to even start--you're close, but not quite there. You've got the details, but they're not quite connected. But no worries! I can help with that!

I'll first say it's Emmett, not Edward, who has the thing with the eggs. Which is unique to the movie and not from the books, and is mostly a fandom joke. Emmett is one of Edward's adopted brothers and one of my favorite characters. And Alice, who Roisin (and I) think is pretty, is the one who can see the future--but conditionally. There's rules to it, which are actually really cool and interesting in my opinion

Back to Renesmee: she is one of Edward's family members, she's his biological daughter with Bella, though her name is similar to his adoptive mother's, Esme. Which is, like I said, because her name is literally a combo of Renee and Esme. Bella named their daughter ship names of their parents.

And yes, she is connected to the werewolves as well, which is another very significant thing in book 4. And yes, Jacob is an incredibly important character--he's the other point of the infamous love triangle. Have you ever heard of Team Edward vs Team Jacob? That's typically the one thing non-twilight people know about it, aside from the sparkling skin. I don't even have the space to get into all the reasons why's he's important here. But like, Bella, Edward, and Jacob are the trifecta of Most Important Characters

Alright, buckle up, I'm about to throw a lot at you. In the twilight universe, there's this thing with werewolves called imprinting. When a werewolf lays eyes upon the subject of their imprinting for the first time (they don't get to choose who, it's kinda like a soulmate situation?), their entire world shifts and this person becomes the center of their universe, they are irreversible drawn to and infatuated with this person. They are bonded, and the wolf becomes whoever their person needs them to be, completely devoted to their service.

It is not inherently romantic, as the imprintee may need a platonic partner more than romantic, or a caretaker, etc. And the wolf will fill that role without complaint and completely willing, not wanting anything more than what their imprintee wants.

It is also not limited by age. After a werewolf has shifted for the first time, any member of the opposite sex can be their potential imprintee. Which includes children. There are two instances of children being imprinted on in the saga--first by Quil (no, I did not name myself after him, that was a coincidence) upon Claire, who is a toddler, and second by Jacob upon newborn Renesmee.

This is why Smeyer clarifies the not inherently romantic part, saying that in a situation like Quil and Jacob's case, that's not at all what Claire or Renesmee need from them, and they instead serve brotherly/caretaker roles. However, it is also said that their relationships will change as the imprintee ages to suit changing needs, and at one point the question is raised as to "who would reject that level of commitment?" (paraphrased). Which is in reference to romance, implying that once the kids are older, it's assumed it will become romantic. And yes, even though werewolves also don't age so long as they're routinely shifting and will remain young, that is very fucked up and creepy. It's one of the most discussed, disliked parts of the series, and almost no one's happy about it. Like the entire fandom lives in fear that one day Smeyer's join to write a Jacob/Renesmee book

So Renesmee is a human-vampire hybrid, and she's tied to the werewolves. Which is really important to the plot for a variety of reasons. Werewolves and vampires don't get along, so having one as part of both worlds builds a bridge between them--and on a more personal level, allows a relationship between Bella and Jacob after her transformation, when they'd previously thought they'd never see each other again (because vampires and werewolves hate each other). And finally puts an end to Jacob's pining after Bella, because now he's not focused on her. They solved the love triangle by setting up the third with the other two's daughter...Also, Jacob's former pack intended to kill Renesmee because she's a creepy fucked up half-breed and breaks the truce, but the most sacred werewolf law is that you cannot kill the object of another's imprinting. So since Jacob imprinted on her (mere minutes after birth, there truly is no age limit) she's now save from being killed by the other werewolves.

There's more I could say, and this probably also raises even more questions, but I hope that helps clarify some of it! And that you're also doing well!

[plumbogs]

ohoho i do have hcs for this. loosely based on existing implied lore and things i made up for fun (mostly ts2 era):

- The Goths and Landgraabs are generally at odds. Not nearly the level of Capp/Monty but there's still a sort of mutual dislike. Under Gunther the Goths did do a lot of property investment type stuff, but Mortimer toned that down a lot because that's not really his thing. The (theoretical because I imagine they're a larger family) Landgraab youths like to pretend there's still some kind of tension but the Goth kids could not care less (except for that time the bluewater village Malcolm asked Cassandra to a dance in high school and she gleefully turned him down publicly and it was embarassing). In contrast the Goths are literally just the small single family lines we see in the games.

- I am too attached to the Goths being immigrants to have them be super mega "here since the dawn of time" old money personally... like Gunther wasn't poor by any means in the Old Country and he did marry a Crumplebottom so it's not like they ever struggled but he did luck out majorly by being in the right place right time when Pleasantview/SimCity was found to be an ideal place to urbanize, which made them actually wealthy in the modern sense.

- Bonus: The Bachelors came into enough money that Bella and Michael had an easy enough life if they wanted to coast along, but nothing impressive. Bella became a Goth so it doesn't matter anyway, and Michael liked to flash it around (and winning over Dina before dying and making her realize he wasn't actually that rich, just had an inheritance and spent every last penny of it on luxury lifestyle)

- The Altos are still newer money. When Mortimer began selling off a lot of the Goth assets they basically went in like vultures. Less of a proper rivalry to the other families, more of an annoyance. Kinda assholes about it. Whatever.

- The Capps are super closed off and stick to themselves but they aren't necessarily outwardly aggressive (besides Tybalt). They generally don't mess with the other families besides the Montys. I hc them as have a lot of inter-family turmoil that they wouldn't dare let anyone else know about. They're good at keeping up appearances. Like none of the other families consider them close but it's almost given that if you're hosting some kind of highly important event you're inviting Consort and the crew.

- The Montys are involved in culinary and agriculture, so besides the farms and restaurants they don't really serve a threat to the other rich families. Beyond the Capps, of course. I know the mob comparisons are common with them but I've never really gotten that vibe beyond the fact that they're pretty tight-knit. They do get to use the restaurant to host just about any important rich people garbage the non-Capp families want to do, which sometimes gives the Capps something to be bothered about but they know better than to tell the other rich families to stop.

- The Crumplebottoms are essentially an ended family line by the time the TS2 timeline comes about, but they were definitely the oldest money of the whole group. Like, descended-from-fuedal-lords level.

- The Summerdream wealth is sort of like. Titania and Oberon are a sort of immortal to me and so of course they have a decent amount of money. They just move around a lot (in search of the drama usually) and don't really even know or care that they're particularly wealthy, they don't do much to expand it, they're just throwing their little parties and happen to never run out.

Have you ever wondered if the rich families in The Sims knew each other what kind of relationship they would have with each other? if they would do business?

Like the Landgraabs, the Altos, the Goths, Crumplebottoms, Capps, Montys, Summerdreams

Bonus: Vandermorgan (idk I always had this thought that Lyla's family is noble or something like that) ...and The DeBateau? (the DeBateu as "nouveau riche")

[amusewithaview]

Amuse Reads the “Life and Death: a reimagining of the classic novel” (aka TWILIGHT GENDERSWAPPED) Chs. 3-5

Chs. 1-2

Let me just say, re-reading 1-3 again to refresh, that she sheer number of little snide digs at Renee make me so annoyed.  It’s so pervasive and toxic.  UGH.

Also, did I mention that the main character’s full name switched from Isabella to Beaufort?  Not even Beauregard, Beaufort.  WHERE DOES S. MEYER FIND THESE NAMES???

Ch. 3

So, first off, I was wrong and the excerpt only contained the prologue and (I believe) the first two chapters.  I’m not going to go back and edit the original post because it’s old enough that I just don’t care.  MOVING ON WITH THE PATERNALISM SHOW, I MEAN SHOW.

Seriously, all of the digs at Renee’s parenting are continuing and they are so much worse with Beau than I remember them being with Bella.  Honestly, what S. Meyer is describing is neglect, essentially.  I can’t tell if that’s what she was going for or not.

The Collision (yes, it deserves the capital) happens differently.  Beau actually does hit his head pretty hard (he appears to have a mild concussion he does not have a concussion but he is clearly very dazed).

Also, Beau keeps describing Edythe’s eyes as ‘long.’  I have never before heard someone’s eyes described as ‘long’ and I’m having a hard time picturing this.  Does S. Meyer mean wide?  Does she mean they’re big like anime eyes?  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I need a more detailed description of Edythe’s eyes and their proportions with respect to the rest of her face.

Is Beau’s middle name Hannibal, or something?  “...more beautiful than any movie star I’d ever seen.  Like someone sliced up Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, and Marilyn Monroe, took the best parts, and glued them together to form one goddess.”  Are you going to ask Dr. Cullen about her skin care regimen, Beau?  Are you going to advise her to put on lotion or else she’s gonna get the hose again?

Beau has his first she’s so pretty when she’s angry moment.  Why, S. Meyer, why.

We end the chapter with Renee again ‘hysterical’ over her child being in danger.  Like, look, if somebody called my mom and told her I’d been in a car accident and that was it, then left her to stew in fear and concern for several hours, SHE WOULD BE UPSET.  LIKE MOST MOMS.  NOTHING HYSTERICAL ABOUT IT.  I just.  The language used to describe Renee bothers me so much.

Ch. 4

Beau comes off as actually a stalker when he talks about dreaming about Edythe and watching Edythe (but only from afar)?  But he acknowledges this?  It seems comparable to Bella’s level of creepitude (and she totally creeped on Edward).

Oh my god, Beau has mentioned that his attachment to Edythe and obsession with her might be unhealthy.  I am so proud of him.

I find it interesting the way S. Meyer has changed all of the characters’ canon heights to ensure that the boys are all taller than the girls.  Granted, a certain amount of sexual dimorphism is accurate, but basic genetics would dictate that most of the kids in a family would usually be of a similar height.  She’s reaching, in my opinion, and I’m not sure why this was so important to her.

Beau is upset and also chopping onions.  Is this connected?  Is he secretly crying but also onions?  Was this deliberate on S. Meyer’s part?  Did someone hand her a pamphlet on literary techniques?  More impressive, did she read it?

Forks has been upgraded from ‘prison’ to ‘purgatory,’ dear god, I had forgotten how melodramatic this character was.

“I didn’t get my balance issues from my mom.”  I find this line puzzling because we never see commentary about Charlie stumbling or tripping or otherwise being clumsy.  Also, he’s a goddamn police officer.  A klutzy cop would literally be a walking, talking safety hazard.  I take back what I said about S. Meyer learning things about writing.  I mean, I suppose we could attribute this to the POV character being oblivious to anything not directly affecting them (and BS very much IS OBLIVIOUS), but still.

Pages 64 and 65 are kind of hard to unpack.  A lot is happening here and it’s sufficiently different from the original that I’m thrown.  In a nutshell: Beau is convinced that Edythe is mocking him with her hot and cold act and gets angry at her, her beauty, and the situation (angry at her beauty = yikes).  This leads to him standing up for himself a bit more than Bella EVER did and actually walking away from Edythe, putting her in the chasing position.  Edythe is actually chasing him, as in, she offers to drive him to Seattle for his big ‘avoid the dance’ book trip.

Basically, Beau has more self-esteem than Bella in some respects.  S. Meyer has described it as Beau being less angry than Bella, but it’s honestly the exact opposite: Beau allows himself to be angry with Edythe and her treatment of him in a way that Bella didn’t at this point in their interactions.  Also, Edythe is actually seeking Beau out openly in ways Edward didn’t.

IDK, it’s interesting.  Weird, too.

Ch. 5

Genderswapped names, human edition!

Jessica = Jeremy Mike = McKayla Lauren = Logan Angela = Allen Eric = Erica Tyler = Taylor

Seriously, S. Meyer, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET EDYTHE AND ROYAL?

Again, why are Edythe’s eyes described as ‘long.’  What does that even mean?  Is this longitude or latitude, how big are Edythe’s eyes?

Beau is much more open to believing that Edythe is dangerous.  I’m not sure how this fits into the overall depiction of Beau as different-from-Bella, but I think he’s more aware, in some ways.  He has a broader perspective?  Mind you, he’s still the most melodramatic teenager in existence (Zuko comes to mind as a more stable, less dramatic teen).

Edythe is unnaturally strong and it’s more obvious than Edward’s strength because S. Meyer made Edythe short instead of letting her keep Edward’s height.  Also, Beau is significantly taller than Bella was.  Beau is, in fact, almost as tall as Royal and Eleanor, for some reason.  I really wonder why S. Meyer made the choice to make Beau so tall, or give him blue eyes instead of brown.  These are the things that I look at and go, ‘This was a conscious decision, unlike some of the weird bias things that were probably just slipped in.  WHY, though?’

WHY DOES S. MEYER THINK IT’S ABNORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SMELL BLOOD?  SHE’S A WOMAN WHO HAS HAD CHILDREN, PRESUMABLY SHE HAS EXPERIENCED MENSTRUATION.  COULDN’T SHE SMELL THAT?  IF NOT, SHE SHOULD GET HER NOSE CHECKED OUT BECAUSE THE INABILITY TO PROPERLY SMELL CAN INDICATE OTHER PROBLEMS.  All caps because this point frustrates me for its sheer illogic.

Beau acknowledges that da little woman is stronger than him, but it doesn’t bother him because she’s probably stronger than everyone.  Oh, and he’s secure because he’s big and strong enough to make people leave him alone now, as opposed to when he was bullied when he was younger (and significantly shorter).

Beau just described his mother as his ‘best friend?’  And I’m.  What?  You complain about having to talk to her at all, let alone offering her comfort when you have legitimately been in danger.  If that’s how you treat your ‘best friend,’ then I wanna pull Edythe to one side NOW and tell her to fucking run.

Carlisle = Carine Esme = Earnest

Also, we’re at two more counts of backhanded ‘Renee was the adult on paper’ and Renee is ‘very young for her age’ and I am so done.  I want like 50,000 words of Renee-centric fic right now.  I just want her to be okay and away from her judgmental shitstain of a son.

That wraps up chapter 5, we get to meet lady!Jake in the next one!

[therealvinelle]

What would be Bella’s/cullens’ reaction if Victoria turned Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Lauren, Eric for her new born army? Would the cullens hesitate? Would Bella feel sad?

Well, I don't think Victoria would choose Bella's friends.

She went out of her way to keep the newborn army hidden. She selected Riley as the face of the operation, made him the only leader the newborns ever knew and the decision-maker who'd circumvent Alice. She chose Seattle, the nearest city that would be large enough that people wouldn't notice right away that people going missing or bodies turning up. All the while, she was regularly running around Forks, keeping the Cullens and the wolves on their toes.

Not that she was being Miss Cautious about this whole thing, that newborn army was out of control and she doesn't come across as having been in a good place mentally at all during this whole thing, but she did take steps to disguise her objective.

But, let's say Victoria goes for it anyway.

The Cullens wouldn't hesitate. The humans in Forks are no more to them than the humans in Seattle were. Edward would be the exception, he developed a mild fondness for Angela and Ben and a petty dislike for Mike, but he wasn't present for the battle so I imagine he simply mourns for their humanity that was lost, and moves on with his life.

I think, too him, the most arresting part would be that this would be one more nail in the coffin of Bella's human life. Her human world that he wanted her to remain in is no longer a human world, Victoria has taken that from her. That, I think, as well as the pain this causes Bella, would piss him off and in turn have him blaming himself.

Bella, I think, has a real moment of 'Nam gaze as she realizes that her boyfriend is immortal, her boyfriend's family is immortal, her best friend is immortal, and now her classmates are immortal too. Everyone gets to be immortal and have superpowers except for Bella Swan. What the actual hell.

Moment after she feels guilty for thinking that, and she then feels... bad, but not bad beyond "Well this sucks."

She still tries to insist the Cullens shouldn't kill her old friends, surely if they talk to them and explain they'll calm down. Okay, so maybe Lauren is a lost cause, but surely they'd get through to Angela, or to Mike? Ben?

I don't think she would understand that the Cullens don't have the resources to save her classmates.

The Cullens end up promising they'll try to talk to them (that is, Carlisle will stand on a big rock and yell "We can work this out, guys!" while Jasper stands ready to pull him down), knowing that this will most likely fail. Bella realizes as much, and comes up with a plan to save everyone. The plan is to put blood in a fire hose and spray the newborns with it so they're too distracted to fight, and the Cullens can dismember then piece them together one by one.

Jasper tries to point out this will at best mean the Cullens now have a newborn army of their own, Bella is adamant. The Denali can take a few!

Bella is less adamant when it is pointed out to her that the Cullens won't be able to turn her for several years, they'll be busy with their fuckton of newborns.

How about just Angela live, then? Angela is nice. She'll be a vegetarian, Bella is sure.

The Cullens try not to wonder about why Bella changed her mind just now about saving the lives all of her friends.

The fire hose plan ends up being carried out anyway, they have nothing to lose and Emmett already stole the blood.

Jane arrives to a clearing that looks like the set of "Carrie", newborns divided into neat sections of limbs, torso, and head with Bella avoiding eye contact with those heads, and the Cullens looking distinctly sheepish. Jane promptly has all of them burned, and the Cullens can't even say anything because... yes.

[theinheriteddutchess]

I woke up to an answer :)

And then it was an essay :D

You could've taken my ask the wrong way and instead became so enthusiastic, i love it.

This all sounds what twilight could been.

But what made me laugh was

Is basically not edward, you had to change almost everything about him to make this work, and that's not criticism to you but how meyer wrote him. I don't mind assholes in stories, but written like they're the best thing and it's so healthy and loving, what's wrong with pointing that out they're not sane and yet are in a romance? Anyway, i also agree with @blurry-walker as i talked about before, it's nice to see an actual person on page. Meyer said she wanted other girls to be able to see themselves in bella wel she isn't y/n, and i was never able to see myself in bella. I just disliked her too much.

So I'm intrigued.

And James and Victoria! I don't know why i care but I'm so curious about them! I find their weird relationship so intriguing, where she really loves him and he never did. I mean what's to unwrap there. So yeah, live that you mentioned it.

And also fairytales (originally) are horror stories mostly. I know Disney doesn't think so anymore but some of them are incredibly disturbing😂

I'm still tempted to reread twilight, i hate myself for that thought already, but i found reading over the first chapter/ prologue? of it, i already started ranting and got mad. I don't think i will have better reactions to it than i had the first time reading it. (It wasn't good then either)

Anyway I'm more curious than ever, and i have strong intentions to read it, i don't know when will be the time, it needs to be a mood or stumble upon it randomly and just start (I'm a weird reader about that unfortunately) and i know the wiring will not be the problem because i've read a snippet and was so amazed.

And no you didn't sound arrogant, you sounded enthusiastic and loving and just with a codependent bond with your writing that is completely understandable. ❤

Thank you so much for replying, I'm always excited to see you say something but it was especially nice with an answer!

Ok so I follow you because of your amazing analyzing and theories of twilight, but it's gotten to a point I have to consider reading your stories, and besides a Paul lahote story here or there over the years, I haven't really read twilight stories, especially ones that aren't about the Wolfpack.

I'm scared. So I wanted to ask about yours, what is it like?

Is it crazy like full of plot twists and insanity and madness covered into brilliance (the good kind) or crazy in a way that I start liking bella and edward (the terrifying part)?

(If you answer this, please consider the fact it might actually make me reread twilight (the original) and start ranting worse. For both our sanities, is it smart?)

Is it crazy like full of plot twists and insanity and madness covered into brilliance (the good kind) or crazy in a way that I start liking bella and edward (the terrifying part)?

both! liking Bella & Edward is THE biggest plot twist of this saga LOL. i'm not really one to hype my work so bear with me. here's the difference between Twilight & In The Afterlight:

the familiar:

setting. rainy rural PNW vibes

rough plot. girl meets vampire. vampire wants to kill her. love ensues. it starts you off in familiar territory, then slowly peels away as the story progresses. you'll find enough of the "iconic" scenes to keep you oriented in nostalgia, but not so much that you feel chained to the original book.

characters. no OCs. Bella & Edward are somewhat OOC, but their core traits are still intact.

the unfamiliar(ish):

Bella's personality. i think it was @blurry-walker who made this excellent point: we're supposed to like Bella because of how she's described, not by how she acts. Bella is not really selfless, mature, observant, compassionate, intellectual, or self-aware. which would be fine... if that were the author's intention. i've tried making Bella a mix between how she's described & how she acts: selfless, contemplative, & stubborn, with a sense of humor. & i threw in a backstory & hobbies - i.e, drawing, music, reading - so she has a life besides Edward. (she can still act like she's 18 tho. as a treat.)

Edward's personality. no stalking, no anger issues or mood swings, no misogyny, no invalidation of Bella's choices, no militant chastity. just a vampire who's lost his way & startled to discover he is every bit a part of this world as Bella. more humorous, more overwrought/ romantic, more contemplative.

the result is a relationship that's rooted in mutual respect, common interests & values, & genuine companionship. they talk about philosophy, they exchange mixtapes, they tease each other, & have slightly less self-control when it comes to sexual intimacy

James/Victoria plotline

twilight is less fairytale, more gothic horror

deeper thematic discussions (bc i think they're neat! :D). what does it mean to be you? how do you find yourself again when you're lost? what's the secret to keeping your humanity in death?

vampire/Cullen lore. what's the difference between a golden-eyed vampire and a red-eyed one? what are "la tua cantantes" and "mates"? why are the Cullens going to high school? what's the Cullen-Volturi relationship like? who are the Cullens, really? i'm trying to paint them as grayer characters & have their personalities/backstories make sense for who they are.

werewolf lore. i *hate* canon imprinting - how an imprinter loses him/herself to the imprint, how the imprintee can't say no, the fact that they imprint on CHILDREN when the theory behind imprinting is to "find the strongest genes"... NO. i hate it all. i hate that smeyer appropriates the legends of the Quileute tribe & how stereotypes/ tropes of Native people are perpetuated in this series. i especially hate the double-standards Bella puts on the pack vs the coven. justice for the wolfpack or bust

since you mentioned liking the wolfpack (same), the sequel, Come Nightfall (aka New Moon), has way more wolfpack content than the original, & we see a lot more interactions between Jake & Bella. (and Bella & Sam!)

i don't feel it's my place to tell you whether you should read this or even whether it's good. if it helps, this is what other people say:

"This… Was incredible. It was the kind of fanfiction that should be praised along the classics of the fandom, the kind you would want to print and put in the shelf in between Twilight and Life And Death."

"This is, to me, the epitome of great fanfiction--you took the story idea and characters and tweaked them to how you imagine it would be better as well as adding in your own flare, AND you have the story telling ability to back it up."

"You've managed to write something that not only surpasses the source material, but flies so far beyond it in nuance, craftsmanship, raw emotion and SMUT that it travelled through space and time continuum and shows no signs of stopping. Every time I think it can't get better, it does."

"I read both of your books in like 2 days; I couldn’t put them down. This is some of the best writing I’ve ever read on here."

"What a gem of a story. I read it in one sitting, the best canon rewrite I've ever read. Very very clever writing, engaging plot, and the most real Bella and Edward relationship I've ever seen. Everything about it, Bella and Jacob, Sam, Alice and Bella's dynamic, Billy and Bella, everything added so much colour to this story. I can't believe this came from Meyer's twilight and New Moon. Absolutely genius."

[mrcowboyhale]

୨୧ jasper hale x fem wolf reader 🐺 ୨୧

✿ you had heard about vampires before, you’d researched them before, made jokes about them with jacob - heck you even went to school with a few! but you never would’ve thought that one would become your true mate

✿ your mate,

✿ - jasper whitlock hale.

✿ and you were a werewolf!

✿ this instantly complicated things between your already feuding families

✿ sam and carlise would’ve never expected something this wild and unheard-of to ever occur

✿ your wolf pack was instantly furious with the news — rambling about how they had lost you to a filthy bloodsucker and about how you were way too good for them

✿ it was similar at the cullen house, emmett, rosalie and edward had such conflicted feelings towards the whole situation; to jasper, that he could not seriously be with you - you were for a wolf and he was a vampire! you should hate her.

✿ and so jasper tried

✿ jasper tried to hate you

✿ he tried to ignore you, he tried to stop thinking about you, he tried to dislike you

✿ he wanted to be like the rest of his family

✿ but deep down jasper knew that despite all of his fruitless efforts, he couldn’t help but love everything about you

✿ and that meant that he had to come to terms with the fact that;

✿ he loves your fur whenever you’re in wolf farm; it was always way more softer and fluffier than a regular wolfs’

✿ jasper loves the warmth you emit regardless whether transformed or not,

✿ jasper loved your scent - conflicting with most vampires’ opinion - he didn’t know if it was a mate thing but he loved your scent it was like the smell of the forest, wood-like mixed with warm vanilla. it was so homely.

✿ he loved your eyes. they were always so full of emotion. without even using his powers - he could always tell what your emotions were because of your passionate eyes, very much in contrast to vampire’s emotionless ones.

✿ he had loved everything about you since the day he first laid eyes on you in biology class and realised that you were his mate.

✿ & jasper loved all of your wolfy you!

✿ and as time went on he found his already useless efforts had become a much harder chore

✿ he couldn’t ignore you even if he tried, he thought about you all the time and even remotely disliking you was out of the picture

✿ and so jasper had acted upon this, talking to you in classes, in-between classes, giving you small gifts, asking you out.

✿ of course it had taken some time for you to warm upto him, i mean, when you both found out you were mates his first instinct was to start ignoring you??

✿ but of course jasper had apologised for that over a million times - with his pout included - meaning naturally you had to forgive him

✿ and as the ice between you thawed; you started accepting his gifts, accepting his proposals to go out, talking to him in the classes you guys had together and in between the classes you guys had together.

✿ of course both your families acted like you two had personally offended them with your sudden change in relationship manner - and maybe you did - but jasper didn’t care, neither did you! you guys loved being with one another.

✿ as time passed both your families had realised that things like these were unavoidable, you two loved eachother and thats all that should matter.

✿ the cullens had managed to get over their unnecessary hatred for wolfs after you started to hang around them more - solely for jasper’s sake but regardless.

✿ bella would confide in jasper when she heard the news about the two of you “im so happy for you jas! trust me, i know what its like to be in love with a wolf.” in which edward would raise a questioning eyebrow to.

✿ you had even managed to become friends with emmett and rosalie, things were swell.

✿ but of course there were still some complications here and there

✿ paul had taken it to heart when jasper first started showing his affection to you after trying to avoid you

✿ paul and jasper had even gotten into a physical fight over that and since then they had continued to have these ridiculous fights - over you.

✿ it was as if they were sworn enemies! they probably are tbh

✿ you had always sighed when this happened,

✿ “jas why did you do that - get into another fight with him? people were watching!”

✿ jasper would smile deviously. “he started it, its not my fault he gets jealous that im the one you’re in bed with every night.”

✿ at this you would blush and furrow your eyebrows, attempting to glare at him.

✿ “is my little wolverine coy because its true?” he would tease, noticing your red hue.

✿ “…shut up dracula”

✿ “whatever you say ma’am”