#i didnt mean for it to be this detailed but then i kinda just didnt stop whoopsie
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you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care
#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly#but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know#what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them.#what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role#but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned#maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age?#silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry#considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad.#i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents#espio i dont really question as much#becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life#or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know#but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive#i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though#because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff#to be clear im talking about game canon#i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members#or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing
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face
#i draw kalsit but she ends up looking kinda like siege; i use her face i look like jessica i cant win#sadge#its her 90's hair air vents -n-)#arknights#arknights kal'tsit#arknights doctor#also very happy mspaint doesnt erase transparent anymore!#i mean i cant draw with the eraser like before but the change in size for the pen is nice so not that bad#also idk if mine just glitches but i'd go to color erase (turn a color a diff color by singling it out w/eraser)#and it just deleted parts of my picture as if i held erase and moved screen (i was zoomed in so i didnt notice)#and i couldnt undo it. idk what happened but i guess i'll save more often and color erase zoomed out#anyway back to kaltsit: i hate her clothes its easy when simple but so so hard when u wanna draw it on...whats the word#on file? on chart?? when you draw them with the details a character is supposed to have. on reference????#anyway idk how things connect ;;0;;#edit: ITS CALLED ON MODEL!!! it hard to draw her clothes on model
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enjoy this armand while he lasts cus im boutta hit him with the fairy ray gun
#i didnt mean for it to be this detailed but then i kinda just didnt stop whoopsie#lol u can see my curser in the corner whoops#my art#doodle kinda#vampterview#armand iwtv#the vampire armand#idk how to tag him#iwtv
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>How big is that dick
>> Small
>>>Leave me alone
Work at Encom is only ✨professional✨
[Image ID in alt]
#graedari doodles#tron#tron 82#kevin flynn#alan bradley#digital art#ipad#apple pen#procreate#hnng#listen- alan and flynn can be so friend shaped#also poly shaped#flynn is so fucking funny#and alan just wants to get work done#flynn interrupted alan's programming with a spam program to run his chat on alans screen only#alan is going to break his computer monitor and make flynn pay for a new one#also i guess jet and sam are also implied to already be like in the picture here#because i realize adding details of jet into alans office means sam is already around too ahsfjhajfjak#we can pretend that i knew that and i definitely didnt forget alan and flynns wedding rings 💀💀💀💀#i was so tired of trying to finish this drawing that i kinda gave up on small details#rip flynns freckles too omg i forgot his freckles NOOOO#please just take this and let me run 🏃♀️💨#graedari tron#slight nsfw?
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What if Luxord was Keykiid's apprentice? I believe this because they both use cards (in Chi, before the medals, cards were used) they both use darkness and light, in addition to ludor, one of the possible names of Luxord's somebody, which means playing, what do you think?
it's an interesting theory! i've been thinking of the possibility that player themself could be luxord (though it's a bit of a stretch since we don't know what the exact rules for reincarnation are yet), but apprentice seems plausible too — especially since in the jp dialogue for the final dark road cutscene, xehanort calls player "master" (not necessarily indicative of them having apprentices, but interesting to note either way)
related to their similarities, i also keep thinking about that kh3 remind scene between luxord and xigbar, specifically where luxord says, "yes, that's what i've always done. i followed the orders from above without question." obviously this could just as easily be me picking out coincidences and making connections where there aren't any, but i have to admit that it just makes me think of player's line in the clock tower when they confronted their foreteller: "i've done everything that was expected of me without a second thought."
which also reminds me of luxord saying "the game isn't over until it's over" in the caribbean, which seems to be becoming something of a reoccuring line — it's said once in the loading screen of xehanort and eraqus's chess game with the exact same wording, ephemer says a variant of it in the khux finale ("it's not over till it's over, skuld."), and even player sorta says it right before they fade away though it's a lot more truncated and could be handwaved away ("it's not over yet."). it's interesting to me to see who gets those lines, and out of all of those luxord's sticks out like a sore thumb to me; sure, games are kinda his thing, but it seems like a line that's gaining some importance, so to give it to luxord of all people feels suspicious — all part of him becoming more important in the story moving forward supposedly
(and this probably isn't related at all so i'm just slipping this in last, but in that dark road q&a there's a question about odin where nomura just says "Naturally, Master Odin also had a master to mentor him. Said master entrusted Odin with a mission, which actually ties in with the identity of the blue-robed individual." and it just . it hasn't left my head because there are so many things you could extrapolate from it. does this imply player and odin had the same master? or is player odin's master? are they completely unrelated and the mission is the only thing that connects them? it keeps me up at night)
anyway i'm rambling but tldr; i think there's a lot of tiny details that link player and luxord together and it's fun to think about what their connection could possibly be, and i'm more than excited to see what gets revealed about them in the coming installments !!
#kingdom hearts#can u tell i have very normal thoughts abt this /j#all these tiny details and similarities Could just mean nothing bc u can find connections w Anything if u look hard enough#but goddamnit until im proven otherwise im sticking them up on my corkboard and keeping tabs on them#i was also gonna point out luxord saying specifically “black/white goat” in his confrontation w xigbar bc its a symbol associated w MoM iir#but then i remembered its also associated w xehanort so i changed my mind#(i could also just be misremembering that and MoM was never associated w a goat)#another thing i didnt mention was player2's default design looking similar to luxord#mostly bc thats kinda more on the iffy side#either way. i have Eyes on luxord#and to a slightly lesser extent demyx but rest assured im staring at both of them#asks
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
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Had a friend ask me the other day if I “notice that people seem to be very protective” of me.
And I said, “no, usually I’m the protective one.”
And I have receipts to back that up but I was not about to start trauma-dumping over it.
And he says “I guess since I feel somewhat protective of you, others might too.”
And like. Here’s the series of issues I have with that:
1) he’s the same age as my immediate-younger brother,
2) Which means I’m older than him by 4 years, and
3) Literally what kind of protectiveness do people think I need?
Like sure, I’m cool with people being protective of me, and I kind of have to be okay with that considering that I AM so protective of others. I don’t let people talk shit about others or themselves, I’m constantly trying to lift people up, and when people vent to me about issues they’re having with others, I’m waiting for an excuse to squeeze myself into the drama and tell people off. Nobody is allowed to hurt my friends.
But I also make the point of reminding myself that my friends are capable people. I remind and sometimes encourage people to eat or sleep or do other self-care tasks, but not because I think they can’t do it alone; I wait until there’s at least an inkling that the need isn’t being met, like if someone messages me at 3AM, or when someone brings up that they’re hungry af.
So I’m careful about how I remind people to take care of themselves. Or at least, I try to be.
But also, there’s this bitter voice inside that’s just like “oh how great, people are protective of me NOW. Where was that energy when I was being abused or bullied or talked down to?”
They didn’t know me yet. And it’s not their job. I want to believe that if shit got bad I’d have help but. I don’t. I want to.
But my closest connections outside of my household live over a thousand miles away. My friends in state? I haven’t known them long enough to expect anything from them. Not even advice.
I just. It’s been bugging me since it was said. And I guess it was a lie, since people are generally trying to help me with things and offer advice. I just didn’t really think of that. Because I know I’m smart, capable, and can handle myself for the most part.
And I have two school friends who really seem to get that balance. The balance of “I know you’re smart and capable, BUT you don’t have to do shit alone.”
They’re the two that I’m closest to, shocker. There’s no feeling that I’m being infantilized. Any defensiveness that relates to me is from a place that I’m comfortable with.
Because ultimately, I’m fine with people feeling protective of me but I’m still a whole entire adult and I can manage my own triggers and most of my own responsibilities. And if I need help I’ll probably ask.
But this kid saying he felt protective of me kind of felt weird, because what could he really do?
#come to think of it#that COULD explain why he made that comment about that joke QB said last semester#but it was misguided because I actively Didn’t Give A Shit#TAG EDIT TIME:#WHEN I SAY I ACTIVELY DIDNT GIVE A SHIT#i mean here’s what basically happened#i made a joke about eating lead or iron filings#I do not remember why#it was a Bit. i was joking#And QB. as I call him online.#said something relating to one of his special interests/his main area of study#and the word ‘eunuch’ was used in relation to this historical detail. and I actually thought the whole thing was interesting#i was fine with this comparison/relation/whatever you want to call it#and the Protective Friend I guess made a comment about how the eunuch part was unnecessary#BECAUSE I’M NONBINARY#HERE’S THE THING: IN MY MIND THATS A RELATION TO TRANS IDENTITY AND I FOUND IT FUNNY AND COOL#I FOUND IT REALLY AFFIRMING ACTUALLY#BUT QB MESSAGES ME MERE MINUTES AFTER WE ALL PARTED TO APOLOGIZE AND SAY IT WASNT A GENDER THING#ITS JUST THAT THEY WERE PROMINENT IN THE BIT OF HISTORY HE WAS MENTIONING#AND I FIGURED THIS WAS THE CASE. I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE IT ABOUT GENDER#I have a lot of thoughts all the time and it’s kinda killing me but I’m fine
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i kinda forgot how mochizuki does expressions so well that they speak more than texts in an image
esp for someone like oz who has identity crisis going on for him that he doesn't really care who he is as a person so long as it makes others happy (the way later he could care less if people see him as jack the hero rather than just oz)
but the shock in oz's expression as though he had been read so clearly by sharon's words.
also idk it never crossed my mind while i was rereading, but i love that this is just in chapter 2 -- that things would go bad if oz should ever lose sight of himself
bc that's the gist of oz's whole character arc, inching away from just being whatever people want him to be, shying away from his emotions, and accepting himself and what it means to be himself - emotions and past - alike.
#'avil why are you reading pandora hearts again' girl's depressed. turns to comfort media.#tbh im kinda surprised though that i can still pick up new stuff with oz bc oz is my big comfort character#however i also feel like i know /enough/ that i didnt think id pick up more#the treasure lies in the little details lol#also yeah im just liveblogging/trying to infodump to cheer myself up lmao#feel free to block the liveblog tag idk how long ill be reading ph today before i switch to things i should probably be working on#anyways#the thing about oz is that hes always rejected himself#you see it in the way he talks to break about himself#or like. he hates himself so much that he rejects alice and gilbert later down the line when he finds out the truth about himself#to lose sight of himself like that means the end#i guess for me his story has always been about growth from that and it feels nice to fall back into that and watch him grow#anyways if i turn into an oz blog. you know lmao#avil reads ph#i always wanted to reread ph again but the starting chapters are kinda too slow for me alksjdfalkh#just throw me straight into the isla yura arc and beyond#you know another thing though. that rejection of oz himself. parallel that with leo's rejection of self later that he hides away and allows#oswald to take over blahblah#*i dont think this makes sense im just blabbing now*
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“nooooo why are kokonoi and inui separated” believe it or not a person is an individual creature and you can live just fine and content without constantly being around someone else. the people you are close to will inevitably change over time, sometimes you are close to someone and you drift apart and maybe you never drift back and thats fine that’s a part of life etc. etc.
#tokyo revengers#i didnt even care about kokonui b4 i went on tumblr and saw how irritating people are about it#no one even thinks about kokonoi and inui without immediately going to smash 2 barbies together#it gets to the point where important details of their relationship are ignored/twisted to fit into some archetypal romance#its literally one of the things i think is done alright in the ending#they're different people now you move on.#in the manila timeline they were still working together and they absolutely were not happy.#shit doesnt get fixed just because you have a relationship with someone romantic or not#idk this is kind of pointless considering the story itself is kinda stupid#so what im saying contradicts it. but love doesn't automatically erase the pain someone puts you through#misc and non art tag#lets be annoying im not deleting this post#also just because they don't work together doesn't mean that they're strangers like#everyone has old friends they don't totally connect with. or maybe they do connect just not shown idc#it's a weird reaction to the chapter either way
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i was already thinking earlier about how im starting to see my personal artstyle developing, then i started drawing a new thing today and it looks totally different like ???????? ok wig i guess
#i mean im not complaining bc one of the pros of being a beginner is that i dont have to be consistent and can try all kinds of stuff#and nobody bats an eye lol#but then again i think the style that i thought i had mostly applies to the headshots that i draw#(ok i mostly just mean how i like to draw eyes nowadays with the kinda cartoony shiny lids and how i do the top lines khdfjgd)#(everything else is still a hot pot of things i snag from the references i have at that time that i think look nice and want to replicate)#im currently drawing a full scene so i gotta let go of some details i guess#idk how to explain it but im sure yall know what i mean#i didnt go to art school i dont know what im talking about i just Do Stuff that i saw on the world wide web#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk ive had a couple drinks so im feeling talkative today lol#personal
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i think the villa diodati speech probably had a big effect on how yaz approached the doctor in flux and after
#not necessarily that it /changed/ how she approached her but like. 13 revealed a Lot abt how she thought abt the dynamic#like the fam were already like......lower down the ranking right? they already let her take the lead they already followed her orders#they werent TRYING to be like on her level like clara they understood very well how the dynamic worked#it was just the doctor that was holding onto the pretense#and i think they knew that but they probably didnt know Why exactly#but villa diodati revealed like a lot of sort of ingrained beliefs#suddenly it makes a lot of sense why shes keeping this hierarchy even if they dont know the details theyre all intuitive enough to get it#and that recontextualises the pretense too. it recontextualises the pretense in that like#okay so what she Says and what she Does keep not matching up. and what she Does is now-evidently trauma informed#so what she Says must be - well not Must be but with the rest of the context they have - what she would Like to be true#it's not they all know it's not but she really wants that to be true#i think that really informed how yaz approached the doctor afterward and maybe paradoxically helped them become way more of a team in flux#the doctor is still in charge but if yaz approaches her with the understanding that she needs to be in charge#then that creates the safety needed for the doctor to let yaz in a little bit#and i think thats also why yaz didnt push in sea devils - i mean lots of reasons obvs but#'i want to but i cant' is like. yaz has Seen that. yaz has seen what that looks like she understands what that means. very lived in#she has lived in the doctor's 'i want to but i cant'#idk am i making sense#i think that speech was a revelation and actually kinda helpful. after she got over the shock and hurt of it
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...
#Jesus. just finished my interview. no idea how it went#i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions#ugh hopefully i didn't look like a completle moron. the guy was sorta inscrutable so no idea what he thought#and he was like hmm whats ur competition here? and i dont give a fuck abt competition and also it doesnt really matter#fuck. i should have said. it would b fine if they were doing the exact same project bc we would b evolving different strains and it would b#interesting if they evolved even the exact same traits. fuck#i think objectively i probably looked like someone who halfway knows what theyre doing without the specific knowledge#which is exactly true. like mother fuckers ive got a full time job to be overworked in. i dont have time to memorize details of every#pathway change in every desert cyano#uuuuugh its just annoying bc my brain doesnt work well in the moment. i need time to process and knit together an answer#so i wouldnt b surprised if i was ranked low. oh god i was told the interview was prob a formality unless it goes terribly#itll b real embarrassing if i dont get passed this stage now#whatever it was a bit chaotic on their end too bc one guy didnt show up until halfway thru so i kinda had to go back and say things twice#uuuuuuuuuuggh. well that kinda sucked. at least its done. out of my hands now.#i was getting too excited abt it anyway. this will reaffirm my: obviously im not gonna get it vibes#i mean thats what i get for trying to join a very competitive program. like i am not a competitive person#rip to my lab mate who im gonna whine at all day abt this. i have to meet him in less than an hour#welp. there r other schools. god i hope at least one of them accepts me#ugh i just think its kinda annoying they they want u to be perfectly qualified for things lol. like i would need someone to step thru the#lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go#like maybe a couple hours of someones time to remind me. thats it. humans r adaptable#i can obviously carry out a project to its conclusion and i have a lot of passion. not that they asked. but yeah#oh well. i should have breakfast before i freeze in the desert all day#unrelated
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Fun (not so fun) fact (yes, its worth reading to the end): when I went to the mcr concert last summer I somehow convinced my "old money lana del ray aesthetic" sister to join me in the 8 hour long line of fellow emos. my sister had borrowed my dad's concert pass so that she wouldn't have to pay but there was one crucial problem- my sister is not a 50 year old man like on the photo. this isn't the fun fact tho because the guy lets her pass with nothing more but an amused look. the fun fact comes several months after the fact. because my dad, being the jokester he is, actually picked a picture of him AND his colleague for the concert pass. as faith would have it this is the same colleague who turned out to be an murderer and chopped up another fellow colleague of his. so yeah, a convicted murderer was a essential part of my first mcr concert.
#i mean my dad obviously didnt know the dude was a murderer at the time of taking the picture#technically he wasent even a murderer at the time of the concert (i dont think ?)#but yeah this just occured to me that the random dude on my dads concert pass was the same guy who...#and btw yeah i know i sound very light hearted abt this but my dad was kinda messed up from what happened#we joke abt it bc he is a jokester and laughter is our family's way of dealing with stuff#but it was in all honesty a very horrific situation#dont think ive ever talked abt it on here before but now that the trial is done with i think its chill#ok i looked it up and yeah the murder had NOT taken place before the concert lol#it happened like one or two months after (they couldnt pinpoint it exactly but the dismembered guy was last seen in august)#(and the concert was in june)#not that it makes it better 💀 but i got a little curious#i havent looked into the details of the case that much before tbh#bc its felt a little weird#but yeah isnt that seriously a little crazy ?
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i think some ppl dont understand the difference between being full on consciously bigoted + going out of your way to harass a minority and someone who heard phrases from their friends and family while not actually holding any ill will towards whichever minority
#i was both best friends with a black girl in middle school and also had my sister showing me racist videos and stereotypes#did it make me say things that i totally shouldnt have and didnt know i shouldnt say? for fucking sure- regardless i still never personally#saw her as bad or less than or anything at all. it probably helped that my childhood friend was filipino bc i was already exposed to#different people. its like the whole words vs actions thing. ppl would say words to me and i would parrot them thinking i was being#funny like my brother or sister but ultimately i never saw anyone as different than me and never really treated anyone differently either#i was a child who didnt understand the weight or meaning of things i parroted and trusted those around me to know better#since i was literally a fuckin' child. thats kinda what they do. and no one ever really countered me if i did something wrong?#there was one time in like 2nd grade where i had just come from a really christiany catholicy school to a different better cooler school#that was less oppressive and DIDNT require me to participate in church shit and wear a uniform-#and i was still not very exposed to black people at that time yet#so when i was in second grade there was a black kid (different person from my friend in middle school) and we were sitting at a table#and i was just kinda making an observation like 'you're black!' not a negative thing just like 'oh! i understand what this is! i know what#this is ive heard of ppl like this before and maybe met one or two black ppl previously!' lmao and then i followed it up with 'like martin#luther king!' bc he was probably one of the only black ppl i knew about and i literally learned about him when i visited the school for#the first time to try it out in first grade and then apparently everyone thought i was being super offensive??????????????????#??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#i dont really remember the details and my gma remembers an entirely different thing so idek whats the truth but thats how i remember it#going down. i wasnt trying to be rude or offensive i was just like 'oh you're this! like this person ive heard of! neat :)!' and apparently#it got interpreted as a really bad thing that i said and idk. that was probably one of the weirder experiences i had growing up#like maybe its not always fun to be known for the minority you are bc of a famous person whos of the same minority...?? idk#i still to this day dont know what i said wrong really. i just wasnt exposed to very many black ppl#i knew of like one black girl once at a gymnastics thing i did sometimes and we were friends and i was a tiny tiny child all of this#happening way before 2nd grade and all i remember is her dad and my dad talking and me going to her fancy house to swim in her pool#once. and then i stopped doing gymnastics for whatever reason. so i wasnt exactly super exposed to black ppl frequently.#esp since the christianty-catholicy school was full of rich white kids. and so was my neighborhood at the time.#so i wasnt trying to be mean or offensive to this guy in 2nd grade but it got interpreted that way and then everyone treated me different#bc ig they thought i was a certain way bc the teachers were overreacting a bit. i have no idea. i really just think that one white#girl just liked to bully me and didnt actually have a good reason why and im tired of trying to humor ppl thinking its bc i was a bigot 😒#like i wouldnt be surprisedif nowadays that how she tries to justify it but NONE of what she ever did was calling me out or anything#it was ALLLLL treating me different for being 'weird' in her eyes. but i digress.
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Yeah hi this post was about a fictional character and the amount of people tagging it as a standard for Real Men. Scares me a little? Which I'm sure a decent amount of it are just people who have it as a fantasy and know it isn't realistic and know it's not actually all that Healthy (which is fine in the realm of fantasy bc like...its a fantasy) but. I'm Worried for some of yall.
get you a man who despite his literal decades of practice repressing and hiding his emotions to survive physically cannot hide how smitten he is with you
#idk the reason i posted this at all was bc i didnt expect it to breach containment and everyone who knows the source knows#the relationship in question is like. Relatively healthy? Still new and kinda fumbly. But healthy#(also that if anything the problem is the Opposite of what plexxaglass said.#Peter Nureyev talk to your partner abt your feelings instead of pouring it all somewhere you cant see him react to it and then#dip before you have to be vulnerable about the things he now knows Challence. Epic Fucking Fail)#but that context gets lost and suddenly what was meant to be a dig at a character we all know is a disaster#becomes something that romanticizes that disaster#and its like this is. this is the opposite of what I meant#anyway. girl help lack of context is causing people to misinterpret my Funny Meme abt the series Wife Guy#WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT CONTEXT#the guy this post is about? not brooding! not unemotional! not unaffectionate!!!#but hes a known master of deceit so when literally Everyone can tell that his love for his partner is Genuine. That Means Something.#and hes good at Displaying emotion hes just not good at Examining it in Any detail#idk its just. lays down#if i could go back and word it differently i Would but idk what id even reword it To
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