#but it was in all honesty a very horrific situation

[girl-bateman]

Fun (not so fun) fact (yes, its worth reading to the end): when I went to the mcr concert last summer I somehow convinced my "old money lana del ray aesthetic" sister to join me in the 8 hour long line of fellow emos. my sister had borrowed my dad's concert pass so that she wouldn't have to pay but there was one crucial problem- my sister is not a 50 year old man like on the photo. this isn't the fun fact tho because the guy lets her pass with nothing more but an amused look. the fun fact comes several months after the fact. because my dad, being the jokester he is, actually picked a picture of him AND his colleague for the concert pass. as faith would have it this is the same colleague who turned out to be an murderer and chopped up another fellow colleague of his. so yeah, a convicted murderer was a essential part of my first mcr concert.

[akutasoda]

hi! It’s been awhile and I was playing a game and got an idea! How would Bsd men react to an enemy whose ability is with every time they kill a person the reader themselves can move faster..and every attack they do will hurt more? Reader is a hazard is basically laughing their head off while gaining kills left and right

-🌀 Anon!

what are you?

synopsis - what happens when the enemy is as dangerous as could come

includes - atsushi, dazai, chuuya, verlaine

warnings - gn!reader, heavy violence/mentions of killing, descriptions of blood, slight dehumanisation, wc - 1.8k

a/n: hi hi! it has been a while, hope your doing okay however?

atsushi nakajima ★↷

an easy mission was what he had been told. a simple situation diffusion along the ports, one that had occurred between the port mafia and some underground gang. why the agency was involved made no sense but from a reasonable perspective perhaps it was just to keep peace.

no matter the reason, he had been assigned the mission as it wasn't to take long and no one accompanied as it was just seemingly a few low grunts. so he had no reason to be as nervous as he was, yet he couldn't shake the pit of dread tightening in his stomach.

something was off and he couldn't quite figure out the reason. even arriving on site the situation seemed very insignificant and meaningless. diffused within a short while. but it seemed off, like someone was watching him. and before he knew it more mafia members made their way over.

they seemed to off horribly misinterpreted the situation, assuming the agency was the reason for whatever had transpired. now instead of low ranking grunts, he was faced with higher ranking grunts but that wasn't the only issue. members of the other underground organisation had also arrived.

but worst of all, he could finally pinpoint the source of his dread. the first sign came in form of the still mafia grunts watching as a member of the other organisation was killed in a couple fell swoops. atsushi turned around just in time to watch another fall in less time. and another. and another.

the group ensued into panic at the termination of it's members and tried fleeing, forgetting any petty argument. tried. atsushi's hairs stood upright as he heard a rather horrific laighter echho throughout the port. each member being slaughtered in less time and effort than the last.

he'd never quite seen anything like this. and in complete honesty it was horrifying. laughter seemed to ricochet off the surroundings as blood coated the floors. he couldn't move. as much as his instincts told him to run, to seek safety he couldn't. fear grasped each and every one of his limbs rendering him immobile and only able to witness the execution happening before him.

what scared him the most wasn't the bloodbath, wasnt the laughter but the following silence. the same pit of dread now rising in his throat. his eyes locked in place of the figure standing over the graveyard of bodies. he locked eyes with you and that's when he could finally take off. the fear activating his flight and he'd never ran faster.

the only thoughts occupying his mind was how vile an ability you possessed and how sinister you were to weild it in such way. he'd prefer never seeing you again.

osamu dazai ★↷

he'd like to think he was prepared for every situation. he knew he wasn't but that wasn't for others to know. and being prepared meant that going into battle he would know exactly who the enemies were. another extent of his planning considered the fact that he thought he could never encounter an ability that shook him. afterall he could just nullify any.

but that could change rather quickly with a moving target, getting faster still. so when the agency threw him and a few others a new case that would most likely end in conflict, he thought he would be prepared. especially with his colleagues at side.

yokohama territory was a rather complex thing. it seemed simple but it really wasn't, the port mafia didn't have 'port' in the name for nothing. but some really couldn't understand that and even so it seemed weird that the conflict involved a different group at the ports.

while it was weird it wouldn't be solved by sitting around and thinking about it. so with confidence, he and his colleagues welcomed the conflict when no other option was viable. but there was something different. something was off, an outside factor looking to disrupt.

but no matter where he looked or what happened, he couldn't find the reason for it going wrong. they weren't noticed at first. bodies of the enemy dropping seemingly due to exhaustion - afterall the agency would rather not kill opponents. but it wasn't until red soaked the area that they stopped.

both sides looking equally confused but the opposing group looking more horrified at the deaths of their members. then another fell. dazai and his colleagues immediately went on guard but dazai could feel dread building in him. for the first time in ages.

and as another fell in quicker time he knew exactly what was up. this was now life or death for the agency so it was most tactical for him tourge his colleagues away into safety. not the graveyard the area was about to become. and he was right, bodies dropped left and right within inhuman time.

now it seemed more logical. this was port mafia turf, of course any conflict would be resolved by them. but he didn't think they'd so quickly resort to you. every urge in him knew he'd never be able to nullify your ability in quick enough time to stop you slaughtering everything around you and so he and his colleagues took off.

he knew a fight he wasn't destined to win and while he did like the idea of dying he knew you'd make it painful for him. and even in his rare state of fear he couldn't help but look back. loom back just in time to meet your gaze riddled with bloodlust as the sound of your bone chilling laughter echoed the now desolate land.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

he'd always appreciate a good fight. he enjoyed being in them aswell. a new way to test his skills and yet still show silent awe at the skills that could rarely impress him demonstrated by opponents. and plus, fighting for him was rather fun.

that's why he never really had issue with being sent on guaranteed conflict missions. while he did sometimes roll his eyes or scoff at being sent on so many, he did always enjoy the conflict in them. and he wouldn't say he was arrogant, but he was rather confident.

and that always shone through in his fights, he had confidence in his skills and ability and that rarely wavered. he'd read somewhere in the file that the group they were meant to experience conflict with had some sort of secret weapon. something that brought them a terrifying reputation, one that chuuya scoffed at.

he doubted that it could be something truly terrifying and that was what he was wrong about. and he knew he was wrong, he knew the minute he watched a handful of port mafia grunts fall in no less than a few moments. an event that was followed by a maniacal laughter that truly put fear into chuuya.

his body no longer wanting to fight, well he still did as he rarely backed down from one but he was happy to make an exception as something felt off. another group fell in less time and he could see the smirk of the original opponents as they fled the scene.

he heard the laughter yet again and thsi tome narrowly doged what would've been a fatal blow as the group of grunts behind him fell in a small movement. corpses now mostly made up his backing group and he knew he'd have to flee. but he really couldn't.

the fear demanded that he run but his fight or flight was still saying fight. even as your laughter sent shivers down his spine as he finally caught a glimpse of you slaughtering the rest of his group. even as he finally locked eyes with you standing opposite him. would it of been cruel for him to call you inhuman?

paul verlaine ★↷

the king of assassins. a title bestowed to him and a title he took seriously. no job that he was given would be taken lightly when he had that title. he prided himself on being good at his job, quite a bit of his confidence also came from that and therefore he would always prove that he was worthy of such a title.

against better judgement, he always looked to take the best action appropriate when a new job was tossed his way. he needed to know the ins and outs of the person or people involved and aware of any outstanding abilities that could cause an issue. so when your file was tossed at him he acted the same.

but it became apparent bery quickly that you're job was entrusted to him for a reason. no information. just a loose alias and last know location. that's what he was given and from that he had to still fulfill his job and if anything he saw it as a challenge. call him arrogant, but no regular assassin could perform such a job.

he had very quickly tracked down a lead. a lead that led him to your next expected location. he had no clue what ability you held, he had a hunch you had one however, nor did he know much about you. but he didn't care or atleast he didn't. not until he started waiting for you.

an unusual sense of dread filled his very being and no matter how much he tried to shake it off, he couldn't. he tried pushing it to the back of his mind but he really couldn't. and it only worsened even though everything was going as intended.

the group you were confronting had arrived yet no signs of you. the only sign of your arrival was the swift execution of a quarter of the group. verlaine was caught off guard, there was no way that was your doing. but he was corrected when you performed the same action yet seemingly quicker.

your laugh made his blood freeze. he understood now - why you had no information, why he was entrusted your file. and so he acted quicker than he'd like, but you were quicker. avoiding his attack and slaughtering the rest of the group in seemingly the same action.

you laughed again and it felt more of a direct laugh at him. you were no human anymore. your ability made you nothing but a weapon. he dared call you less human then he was and yet he still had a job to do. he had no doubt you're horrific ability and mind could end him swiftly but he didn't care. you weren't human anymore, so why should he treat you like one?

[nagito-kissmaeda]

if it isn't real, why does the sun still burn?

Chapter masterlist

Summary : Like most people visiting this tag. You have always dreamed of meeting Nagito Komaeda for real, what you would do, what you would say? Things don’t go as planned.

AKA: Reader from our universe ends up in danganronpa and is just trying her best to keep everyone alive. and maybe to make komaeda kiss her.

Contains: she/her pronouns, explicit sexual content, voyeurism

Read on Ao3

“Basically, we have an update.” Naegi says through Monomi’s face. 

You had only just gotten home from the beach when the rabbit teleported herself into your room and Naegi started speaking to you in serious tones without even so much as a hello. You hadn't even had a chance to properly dry off, but things had turned so serious so quickly that you could hardly spare a thought for your slowly dampening carpet. 

You push some of your salty hair out of your eyes, trying to ignore your racing nerves, “What kind of update are we talking?”

The almost immediate jump between your gentle flirtations with Komaeda to this incredibly serious conversation with the survivors of the previous killing game has you more than a little discombobulated. In all honesty, you had been planning to get home and jerk off about the Komaeda situation, so that only adds to the concoction of very confusing emotions that you are currently saddled with.

In a move that does not help your already electrified nerves. Togami decides to take the wheel for the first time ever , and hearing his voice come out of that rabbit makes you want to combust, “We are currently unable to get the second island open.” He begins, “It appears that upon ascertaining your goals, Enoshima has rerouted a substantial amount of her power to ensure that the island stays closed for good.”

That feels good. For all her posturing, you are getting to Enoshima. She is scared of you, at least a little.

“Luckily, this rerouting means less effort is being put towards keeping the other islands sealed. We should be able to open one of them.” A beat, “Based on the work you have been doing, we’ve all agreed that you should be the one to choose which one, if any.”

“Jesus, um, this isn't really an easy choice.” You say. Worrying your lower lip and beginning to pace back and forth. This is both good and bad news, in a weird way. Monokuma is absolutely going to take advantage of whichever island you open, but progress is still progress, no matter how you look at it. 

You stop mid pace, suddenly remembering the quandary you had been puzzling over this morning, about how to handle despair disease should it actually be released. With a nervous smile, you turn to face Monomi where she still stands in your room, arms crossed over her chest in a Togami-like fashion. 

“Before I make a decision…” You begin, “If, theoretically, Enoshima was planning to release a terrible, deadly and highly contagious disease with unpredictable symptoms and horrific implications for survival on this little slice of paradise.” You laugh, for some reason, “Could you do anything about it?”

Togami only says, “What.”

“That’s the next motive.” You clarify, “Monokuma calls it despair disease, and unfortunately it’s not really something I can handle from my end.”

Togami thinks it over for a moment, and then Monomi shakes her head, “We can’t easily prevent something like that with nothing to go off. Unless you can tell me what that disease looks like as code, which I’m assuming you can’t, then we are shit out of luck as always.” You don’t appreciate Togami’s tone. There is little to appreciate about Togami when his legs are out of view, “Okay, then…could you reverse engineer it? Once the code activates, find a way to… un- activate it?”

Togami scoffs, “You have such a way with words.”

“Yeah, well.” You cross your arms, “I like Imposter Togami-san better.” Monomi raises a tiny fist in your direction, and her eyes look as angry as the plush can manage, “You take that back! You-” “Byakuya.'' Kirigiri chides from somewhere in the background and Monomi returns to her default pose. Togami clears his throat, “Theoretically, yes. If the code is active, we could then order Alter Ego to counter it with some code of their own rendering Enoshima’s manipulation obsolete. Though, as with anything in an OS as complex as the NWPs, it would take some time.”

You sit on the couch, not even thinking about how the salt water might ruin the fabric, “I could stall for time, that’s the only thing I’m good at really.” you chew on your lower lip for a moment, “Could you make certain people immune to the disease, maybe?” Monomi shakes her head, and Togami says, “That would be more fine tuning than ending the code at the root, a waste of time.”

“Okay.” You say, more to yourself than to Togami, “In that case, I think we should open the third island. There’s a hospital there, and I’m certain that with a bit of foresight I can encourage Tsumiki-san to be more preemptively vigilant. Luckily I have foresight in spades, it’s kinda the only thing I have going for me.” 

“It will take us a few hours to get the island open, we can try and have it done by breakfast tomorrow morning. Usami will let you and the others know when it’s done.” 

You nod and then let your head hang loose. You’re tired, and there is going to be so much work for you to do tomorrow. It feels strange to thank the coronavirus for anything, but it is the reason you know anything at all about preventing the spread of infection. That, and a recent obsession with everyone’s favourite plague simulator: Pathologic. Regardless, you presume that the first three infected will always get the disease no matter what, even with all the protection in the world, so there is little you can do on that front. You can, however, make sure Tsumiki doesn’t catch it, and that will be the most important thing. 

“Um, excuse me?” It’s Naegi’s voice coming from Monomi again. You lift your head to look at the rabbit, “I think we’ve been very patient with you until now, and I don't want to be pushy, but we’d all like some answers, you know?” You swallow thickly, “Answers…about what?”

Monomi nervously rubs her cheek with a paw, “Well, about how you know everything. We’re far beyond expecting any sort of betrayal from you at this point, I mean, we’ve been watching you almost all the time and we can tell you don’t want anyone inside the simulation getting hurt, but we’re still curious.”

You feel sick. It must show on your face, because Monomi takes a few steps closer and Naegi says, “You don’t have to tell us right now” then, from somewhere in the background Togami corrects, “Yes she does , Makoto.” 

That makes you laugh, which is nice. You dismiss Naegi’s concern with a wave of your hand and take a deep breath to try and eliminate the nausea, “No no, it’s okay. I should tell you, I just don’t really know how to explain it myself and uh, I’m kind of not even sure you’ll believe me.”

“We are quite used to believing impossible things.” Kirigiri says, “I’m sure it will be fine.” You inhale a breath through your nose, and clasp your hands together to stop them shaking, “Alright…well, a lot of this is going to be speculative, I honestly don’t know all that much about how I got here but I’ll try my best. I um, I think that I am from an alternate universe, or something similar.”

Monomi nods slowly, even though she doesn’t speak, you get the sense that Kirigiri is still at the helm. 

“In my universe, Ultimates as you have them, aren't really a thing? There are certainly people who are talented, and scouted to specific schools for that talent, but there isn’t like, one big school where all the talented people go, and these people aren’t really designated titles or anything.” You take a breath, wondering how much you actually need to explain, “Also the tragedy didn't happen, that’s a big thing. How I got from there to here is the part I’m a bit lost on, as far as I remember I just fell asleep and then woke up in the program.” “Alright, then.” Kirigiri replies, “Obviously there is no real way for you to prove any of this, so I suppose we will have to take your information at face value for now.” Monomi cocks her head to the side, “Though you still haven’t actually answered the question Mokoto originally asked you, how do you know so much about the future?”

“Hah, um. Well, I just wanted to explain the other stuff first, so this part wouldn’t seem as certifiably insane.” you laugh again, it’s a bad nervous habit you have only recently developed, “Where I’m from, this , meaning you guys and the NWP and Enoshima and the tragedy and literally everything ever. Is from a video game.” you stare at Monomi for a moment. You can hear some sort of ruckus in the background, but Kirigiri’s voice remains surprisingly even when she says. “Go on. How much do you know, tell me.”

“The first entry covers your killing game, from start to finish. You play as Naegi-san, so I only really know about how things went from his perspective”

“WHAT?” You hear Naegi exclaim, and then some shuffling as he takes over control of Monomi, “Can you prove it? Say something about me that the others won’t know.”

“You wet the bed until 5th grade.” you say without even thinking.

Naegi lets out a very loud yelp, and from somewhere in the background you can hear Togami chuckling to himself.

You wince, “Sorry Naegi-san, it was just the first thing that came to mind.” “No it’s fine, I understand.” He squeaks, “I guess that proves you aren’t completely lying or anything, please, tell us what-” “Hey wait! ” a new voice calls from the background, “Let me have a turn!”

Your brow creases, “Oh my god. You guys have Hagakure-san in there with you? Why do you have Hagakure-san with you?”

“Whoa! You totally knew it was me right away!” He is much closer to the mic now, but you can tell that Naegi has not allowed Hagakure to get his hands on the controls, “Tell me something about me!”

“I know you spent a few really gross days with Kuwata-san’s really gross cousin.” 

You hear the sound of Hagakure getting shoved quite hard, and Naegi being told to shoo out of the way before Togami finally returns to the mic, “We don’t have time for any more parlour tricks. Explain everything you know up until this point, quickly, skip the unnecessary details.”

“Alright…” You say, and begin.

It still takes some time, even with you trimming the fat as much as possible. Togami asks a question every now and again, and he occasionally lets Kirigiri ask one as well, but otherwise, you just talk and talk and talk. It comes to you quite easily, part way through it stops feeling like you are talking to fictional characters and instead like you are just infodumping to one of your friends. You’re very good at that, so most of the words string together without you even thinking.

When you finally finish, Togami hums aloud, “This seems stupid and impossible, but you know far more than you should otherwise, and importantly, you also seem to know more than Enoshima does.” he huffs, “At the very least you can’t be working with her, or else you would have told her all of this before you told us. So that’s a comfort.”

“I really am trying to help.” You promise, “I know that it’s weird to hear, but from my perspective I’ve known you for years and years. I care about all of you, and everyone in the Neo World Program very deeply, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, I swear it.”

“Sorry, can I ask one more question?” Naegi says, “Scoot over, Byakuya.”

There’s a bit of shuffling, and then Monomi is back under Naegi’s control, “This is going to sound dumb, but it’s going to kill me if I don't ask.”

You shrug a shoulder, “Go ahead, I guess.”

Monomi wrings her paws together and then Naegi asks, “Do you think we’re…real?”

Togami scoffs in the background, “Of course we’re real, Mokoto.”

Naegi makes a panicked whining noise, “But if what she’s saying is true, then we’re just videogame characters, which means we aren’t really real , right?”

“I mean, I don’t even 100% get the semantics of this situation myself but I think you must be at least somewhat real?” You cringe, “Sorry that probably wasn't very comforting, what I mean is that while I know the way things play out, there is still stuff that isn't exactly how it was in the game. A lot of the remnants act more like real people than caricatures and things are able to change in ways the game would never allow. I guess that’s why I suggested that alternate universe theory. In my world this is a video game, but here it’s real. That’s the only conclusion I’ve been able to come to.”

“Then, I guess that’s all we have to go on for now.” Kirigiri adds, “You must be tired, get some rest. We’ll attempt to get the second island open tomorrow, Monomi will update you and the rest of the Remnants if we succeed.” You sigh, “Thanks everyone, I was worried you would think I’m losing it.” “Oh, we do.” Togami replies, and you hear what sounds like him taking an elbow to the gut.

“Don’t worry about it!” Naegi chimes in, “If we find time, we’ll see if we can figure out how you got here, there must be something for us to find in the code. We can ask Alter Ego to look too.” You reach out and pat Monomi on the head, she’s very soft, “Thanks guys, but don’t stress too much about it. Just focus on helping the remnants, I’ll be okay.”

“We’ll do what we can.” Kirigiri says, “You’re just as important as they are.”

You laugh quietly to yourself, “I’m not important, I’m just…unlucky.

---

You try to take Kirigiri’s suggestion to heart and get some rest. It doesn't come easy, after a very long shower where you spent the majority of the time with your forehead pressed against the cold glass, you dried off your hair and collapsed onto your bed to sleep. You had only been intending to take a short nap, but as it often goes, when you woke up again the sun had already set and checking the time you realise that you have also well and truly missed dinner.

You huff and swing your legs over the side of the bed, rubbing at your temples. You have a headache, which is just neat and you really can’t be bothered walking all the way to the market for painkillers, so you’ll just have to live with it. At the very least, you should get something to eat. Standing from the bed, you shove your feet into a pair of sandals and head out the door, not bothering to change out of your pyjamas. It’s been a weird day, emotionally, mostly. You had an uncharacteristically good time at the beach, but now you were saddled with the stress of an upcoming motive, one that will potentially get multiple people killed if you screw it up. 

It’s still warm outside even though the sun has well disappeared beyond the horizon. You’re starting to yearn for winter, for cold, for anything other than the endless heat of Jabberwock island. There’s a warm breeze in the air, and apart from that and the waves crashing on the sand out behind the hotel, the only sound you can hear is your own feet hitting the boardwalk, it is nice outside at night, quieter. 

Just before you turn off the boardwalk and start heading towards the restaurant, a light on in one of the cottages across the way gives you pause. It’s well past Monokuma’s announcement by now, and there’s little reason for anyone to be awake. You only need to walk a few steps closer before you realise that it’s Komaeda’s cottage, the light isn’t all too bright, likely just his lamp, but you’re always too curious for your own good and start heading in that direction anyway. 

You freeze a good few feet away when you hear a sound . For a moment you think that you’re imagining it, but then you hear it again . 

Is he…

You have to get a better look (well you don’t have to, but you do want to) so you scoot over closer to the cottage and drop down into a crouch under his windowsill. His blinds are still about halfway open and the window is cracked just enough that sound is escaping. For a moment you consider closing the window for him and leaving, just to make sure no one else overhears anything, but out of an inadvisable curiosity, you peek up just over the windowsill and affirm that yes , Komaeda is jerking off.

You cover your mouth to hide a yelp, spinning around and pressing your back against the wall of his cottage, trying to calm your breathing. What did you think you would see if you looked? You knew what was happening in there. God why is he so loud ? You cover your ears and squeeze your eyes shut.

It’s only when your legs start to ache that you realise you have been crouching below the windowsill for far too long, frozen in a mixture of shame, fear and something you are too embarrassed to put a name to right now. Readjusting yourself a little, you turn to face the wall and grip the edge of the windowsill, debating pulling yourself up for another peek. Why did he leave his window open anyway? He isn’t stupid. 

Edging yourself upward just enough that you can see the top of his head, and then his eyes squeezed shut, his open mouth- 

Is this lucky or unlucky? 

The question enters your mind unbidden and you cannot stop thinking about it. If Komaeda turned his head and saw you creeping outside his window would that be good luck or terrible luck? This thing you are doing is terrible, but how Komaeda might feel about it is another matter entirely, and you have been confused about it to say the least, especially after he went down on you that one time. 

You still don’t understand why he did that. He clearly doesn’t have any feelings for you apart from a passing interest, and you know that is only because he thinks you possess the ability of foresight.

He did seem to enjoy himself, but maybe he was just horny and you were there or-

He gasps aloud, ripping you from your internal monologue and back to the very real sight in front of you. Komaeda’s hand moves up and down in lethargic strokes, slow and deliberate. His free hand is tangled in his hair, loose strands of it clinging to his sweaty forehead. On one particularly firm stroke his hips jump up to meet his hand and a squeaky moan breaks loose from his lips. 

Breathing hard, he removes his hand for just as long as it takes for him to spit in his palm, and then it’s back on the length of his cock, moving faster than before. You can feel yourself growing warm just watching him, practically glued to the glass despite knowing that you should not be here. His chest heaves with each breath, shirt pulled up high enough that you can see the way his stomach clenches when he rubs the pad of his thumb over the sensitive tip of his cock. Komaeda is very pretty, you’ve always known this. But here, now, with the thin line of moonlight reaching in through his open curtains casting a bright light across all his sharp, jutting angles, he looks like an artist has carved him from marble. 

His mouth hangs open on a shuddering moan, lips moving to form the shape of a word that he ultimately decides shouldn’t be uttered, biting his lower lip hard to keep himself quiet. There is something balancing on the tip of his tongue, and he is afraid to say it aloud, to solidify it, to make it real. 

You wait, for some reason, crouched below the windowsill, hoping to finally catch a glimpse of just what is on his mind. To understand him, to understand why he treated you the way he did despite it not being in his best interest. He keeps his mouth shut though, not a word escapes, nothing more than moans that grow louder and louder. You finally regain your senses and wrench your eyes from the scene. What Komaeda thinks about when he jerks off is none of your business. No matter how much you wish it was. You at least have the decency to push his window closed the rest of the way, so no one else walking by will hear him and try to put the memory of what you saw behind you.

Food is the last thing on your mind now, so you instead return to the lonely comfort of your cottage, knowing a restless night awaits you.

[dsaf-confessions]

CW discussion of suicide

Oh yea, Dave's pure insatiable desire to live. I'm insane about that. No matter what, he's persisted, he's lived through poverty and homelessness and abuse and so much fucking pain and hatred and heartbreak and suicidal ideation is never mentioned in the storyline, and in all honesty, I think he never considered it as an option. His pure disposition has coerced him to stick to life like a cockroach, and truly, there's a question of knowing when to quit with that, taking davetrap into consideration. I think this is something so interesting to reflect on, his vivacity and love for life, pure inability to not stick around, it's truly impressive. But why? God, it's truly difficult to get to the bottom of, is it his entire personality from birth? Was it the environment he grew up in? The pump and grind of the New Yorker streets as a homeless young boy, freshly kicked out of a horrific orphanage, did that need of daily survival recontextualise his entire life? I think that's something to consider, that system of finding food, water, shelter, and simple plesures formed him thoroughly, there's no other option than to work through the grating times as you simply need to get it done. Higher thought about what it's all about wasn't particularly an option, that deadish boredom with life wasn't there to linger on, and I think that it was a mix of Dave's personality firstly pushing him to simply keep going then that pushing working to form him as a person. I don't think he holds contempt for suicidal people as I see in some people with that vivacity for life, the idea of ending it all is simply so unreachable and unviable that if he knew someone he was close to genuinely considered the thought it'd be just frankly terrifying. Terrifying in the way the vacuum of space is, this thing so uncomprehensable and unhuman, yet experienced by someone you love. It'd certainly take some elbow grease to get Dave to realise that someone's suicidal ideation was serious, but when he does, he's just down right scared. I don't think he'd be the best source of comfort, Dave's way of comfort is very centric around him, because at the root of it he's simply expressing his fear of the matter. 'It'll break my heart, don't leave me, don't leave me like Henry did, I'll miss you so much'. I think Dave views the world as a him first situation, he's very selfish, and I think that's fair, I think everyone should be a little selfish. The environment he grew up in reinforced the idea that to stay alive, he had to put his own preservation first, and literally everything else afterwards, even his own comfort and joy. I truly think Dave, not even sane Dave, would truly put Jack first in a life or death situation. I think he'd spend an eternity finding a way to beat the system, and 10 eternities on top of that, and finally decide to put his own survival first. To him, living is truly a blessing, and the only blessing he's ever received. He'll claw and bite to sustain it. Quite literally, as well, im sure in any street squabble he'd poke someone's eyes out and kick them square in the nuts and scratch all their skin off. I really don't think he's ever thought of the gravitas that comes with his insatiable lust for life, that it's not something many people share, that other people might simply wanna blow their brains out instead of being springlocked 100 times and coming back as well as ever. He truly a one of a kind, Davey, I'm sure he'd boil himself in magma 1000 years if it meant to live 10 more.

-the pink anon

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[fxshigurosbae]

ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

now playing ► KINKTOBER 22, second week.

OVERVIEW. he is much worse better than you thought.

♫ SONG DURATION.

0:00 ——◦———— -2.5kwords

parental advisory ! explicit content

LYRICS. boss!employer, office, clothed sex, semi-public setting, enemies to lovers, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, rough, manhandling, size kink, fingering, stockings, creampie, pet names, sound restraint, unprotected, strong language.

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

— the playlist

fear of men, more like a desire to avoid them, there were comprehensible reasons. that included, more specifically, directly and shamelessly honesty in wishing to stay away from that man, the one in charge of you, kento nanami. what a complete cold, rude and snobby attitude he has, you thought. he gives me so much work, it’s impossible to finish on my shift!, you complain. fuck him, such a jerk. you insulted on your head all over again, in a very constant and, perhaps daily, trail of thought. that blond-hair that whenever you saw, sent horrific shivers down your spine, followed by a not very discrete sigh from your lips, a snort or even maybe, clicking your tongue. nanami, your boss, surely was a man of few words, choosing ambiguously wisely, well, in a very direct way — maybe a little too straightforward — and so, coming off as an asshole sometimes, which infuriated your nerves. definitely, your efforts were higher than most of the workers there, yet, he did not recognize it, ever, no one’s efforts — it is your duty, if you’re unsatisfied, resign. yeah, harsh, his word. with a pile of never-ending papers of data, skimming through the numbers, letters and symbols with a dizzy head, stiff fingers from the repetitive typing, working overtime, again. throughout the day, with the same rhythm, no accumulated tasks and even so, you had to work until late at night, watching your workmates leave, with dark circles under their eyes but still, sharing how much they were going to eat after that, ramen, beer, rice, something as small as an oniguiri made your mouth salivate — curse him, making you go through that suffering, that torture. now, the lights were off, only the city outside, the hallway and your bright, blinding screen were a part of the scene, making the space a bit more visible, barely. worse was, being so focused on the priorities, thinking the other person across the cubicles of the office wasn’t anyone important…

“y/n, please, come here.” jolting at the sudden break of the silence — exempting the sirens and horns from outside, keyboard, air conditioner and the machines — a voice, a familiar one called. your curious eyes peeking over the white low walls, standing up fully, taking steps at the direction of the speaker, high heels tapping, echoing lowly. i thought he hated working overt—

“you do know i hate working overtime.” effortfully, attempting to contain yourself from rolling your eyes back.

“yes, i am well aware of that matter.” if someone could see your face, they’d say you must have woken up on the wrong side of bed. he took off his glasses, cleaning them with a cloth, then staring back at you with that same old quite angered expression, like yours, a very tense atmosphere, as usual.

“then, tell me why haven’t you been able to finish your work? you do know i am your supervisor, if the important tasks, given to you, are not done, those become my responsibility.” rude. even standing a bit farther from him, from a higher angle, that made yourself feel so much smaller, intimidated.

“well, if you hadn’t given me so much to d—

“it’s your work, i have mine, if you do yours, we will avoid this situation.” putting his glasses back on, he focused on the screen in front of him, typing for a few seconds. “don’t get your personal feelings involved on this matter, be a professional.”

“i’m sorry?” you question, confusedly mad, making the man pause, glance at you with his head titled slightly towards your direction.

“i acknowledge your dislike for me.” good, at least he’s self-aware. “i am simply doing my job, i see you take my sincerity as an offense.” you restrain yourself, doing the upmost to keep quiet, to be mature.

“well, nanami, if you weren’t such a— beep beep

the fax machine starts, gosh, that thing saved your job. watching the blond stand up, walk towards the big equipment with slow movements, seeming tired, perhaps. doing whatever was needed, heading to where you stood, without a care in the world and, setting the paper on his desk, yet, not sitting back down.

“what were you saying?” his almost adenoidal voice asked, as if teasingly, he knew where you were getting at. supporting himself with a hand on the surface, staring at you, expressionless.

“nothing.” stares, the eye contact was intense. a few seconds later, his head looked down, hearing a sigh come from him, his fingertips removed his glasses for real, now, laying them on the table. Your breath hitched as you noticed the distance between you both had been way closer than you’d thought.

“you surely are a piece of trouble, it even feels like i am your enemy,” crossing his arms and legs. “mrs. y/n.” because you are.

“are you done lecturing me, again?” there was a twitch in his lips, almost like a curve forming, your heart skipped a beat.

“no.” simple like that. it wasn’t fair, how he approached you, even if you felt rage inside, that could not be enough to make you push him away. closing in, inch by inch, putting you on a narrow spot, where you have your lower back against the desk, holding onto the borders, his body so proximal, yet not touching at all.

“what are you doing?” you nervously question, feeling your cheeks warm up.

“i have no sentiment of hatred against you, even if it seems like it,” such a calm voice. “in fact, what i dislike are your methods, more so, who you are at work.”

“that didn’t change anything.” the air felt heavier.

“it did, i never said i hated who you really are, since i don’t know her,” his breath was fresh, burning against your skin, a very noticeable difference in heights. “but you,” he paused. “you can’t say the same.”

“that’s right,” oh, a chuckle from him. your heart skipped a beat, again, dammit. the blond leaned down, a tiny bit, getting closer, so close his eyes felt like devouring you, until you noticed his hands beside your waist, but on the desk, enclosing your body even more. “i, hate….” lips so very close. “you…” touching barely. “nanami.” softly kissing, yet harsh at first, the contact was a perfect fit. the kiss had endured a few seconds, those seconds felt like nothing, until you were the one pulling away.

“doesn’t seem like it.” if you could, you’d punch him in the face, never even wanting to think about how red your cheeks must have been, because you know they were burning. his mouth leisurely moving close to your ear, both his hands latched onto your waist delicately, shivering as those same palms brought your hips against his crotch. “will you let me fuck this hatred out of you, darling?” whispering so very softly, it damaged your poor heart — which beat sped up even more.

“want to see you try.” words slipped out, slightly feeling his smirk against your skin, suddenly being put to seat on the desk, where there was an empty space and, nanami swiped off whatever could be in the way. another kiss, a fierce one, the man fondled your ass, with a gasp you left, then, he could easily slip his tongue inside your mouth and start leading. his fingers snook under your skirt, having your legs wrap around him, it was easy to lift you off the table and, unexpectedly, rip off your stockings, having you choke. “those were my favorite!” you complained breathless, in between pecks.

“i’ll buy you a new one, sweetheart.” feeling a breeze against your skin, you sinked back down the surface. those long fingers of his right hand, now instead, made their way to your shirt, still supporting yourself on the border of the wood below you and, all while he almost devoured your lips. unbuttoning so skillfully the small dots of your white collared shirt — the one that fit perfectly, made your body look absolutely even more gorgeous — until your lacy black bra was on sight, having him pull away for a second and, shamelessly stare at your chest, smiling truthfully, not taking off your shirt entirely, but was open enough to expose your torso. “that’s sweet.” you couldn’t decipher what he truly meant and, even if you could, he did not let you, after joining your lips once more, passionately. those digits now finding their way under the fabric, pushing it down, letting your breasts free over the bra, playing with a nipple surprisingly and, spontaneously letting out an unwanted moan. you were the one pulling away now, too ashamed to stare back at him, head to the side, covering your eyes with your forearm, noticing how the bulge on his pants was in contact with your inner thighs. he decided to stop, spreading your legs further apart, loosening his tie with a heavy breathing that made his features soften, unzipping his pants with the other hand. nanami reached now to your thighs, running his hands until the hem of your panties, since your skirt had been lifted to your hips quite some time ago, finishing to rip off the pantyhose you wore, as well as, pushing aside the cotton fabric of the lacy underwear matching your top and, your own hand flew to his wrist as soon as he played with your folds. “are you embarrassed for being this wet?” the blond questioned, noticing how you tried to stop him.

“shut up.” he smirked softly, again. lubricating his fingers enough and, so quickly, that it was easy to slid two of them inside your pussy, without warning, clenching your walls and attempting to squeeze your legs shut, however, he kept them open. your mouth morphed into an o shape, throwing your head back in ecstasy. “don’t tell me you’ve came already.”

“i-i didn’t.” liar, what a silly lie, you haven’t had sex in years. pushing them deeper in, you tried hard to keep quiet, it worked, for now. still tightly gripping onto his arm and wrist, so ashamed of the situation, your toes curled and heels were about to fall off from your feet, while nanami’s chest was heavily and seductively going up and down. thrusting those in and out painfully slow, curling them when he was all the way through, calloused wide and long fingers, he acted as if prioritizing your own pleasure first — he would never do that, would he? he’s just a selfish prick that… fuck — hitting that one spot led you to the edge, lips parted again, a low, very very low whine escaped and your grip tightened, yet, he knew he had found it.

“you’re very sensitive, mrs. y/n.” don’t say my name or i’ll… his tired eyes had an unexpected warmth to them, differently than usual, there was even this strange feeling that he was so needy and caring, his cheeks were faintly red, even if the lights were low, you could see that. with a more than perfect thrust of his fingers, such a pretty whine left your lips, so lewd, meanwhile, so innocent, not a hint of fakeness, nor dislike. and, with your back arched a little more, biting onto your lower lip, discrete trembling legs, you had came once more, a bit harder than before, squelching noises becoming louder, but before that, nanami’s head fell onto the crook of your neck, his nose against your skin. “i can’t take it anymore,” pulling out of you, he grabbed onto the sides of your hips, slowly leaning back, inches away from your face. “i need to fuck you.” with that, kissing again, like it was familiar already, like he was famine, with insatiable hunger for you. nanami, once more, like before, spread your legs apart, getting in between them, your arms wrapping around his wide shoulders. so very suddenly thrusting inside, with a cock you’d never imagine could be that big, immediately failing to keep silent, yet you kept on trying. pausing to take each breath, he faltered, with chopped short breaths, recomposing and pounding for the first time deep enough to maintain your legs shaking. one of his hands rested against your lower back, the other, held one of your thighs, bringing it closer to him. those were harsh, long pounds, ones that could easily break you in half if you were a porcelain doll. the pace was rough, but even, with a slight hint of gentleness. his groans were audible, your ego was flushed down the sink, which meant your whining was all over the place now, you gave up — he was treating you nice, there was no reason to stay quiet — and those sounds were soft, so sweet, so pretty, his cock seemed even bigger inside, your gummy walls clamping him tighter, hardly letting him breath.

“you fucking b-bastard,” dizzy, breathless, aroused and with tits jolting along your entire body at each of his forceful and precise thrusts. “it feels s-so good.” praising rudely, in between the pecks of his lips against yours, finding his way into also kissing your cervix.

“i know, sweetheart, i know.” his voice soothed your anger, which made you even more irritated, which contrasted with the puppy expression in your pretty face. pulling your body closer, with a more concentrated, methodical pace, the one that led you to moan even louder, to hear this man whine so desperately, to have you repeat a number of no!no!ngh-n-no!s, trying to convince yourself this was not the best fuck in your entire life — who would have thought, your boss, the one you hated, that treated people so badly, could do this to you. your nails digging over his social shirt, the one unbuttoned to the top of his chest, seeing a droop of swear rolling down, making his fragrance stronger. instinctively, arching your back, while being both penetrated by his cock, balls deep, jolting body, embraced by his arms pulling your hips at each slapping contact. a familiar feeling on your lower belly, clenching down even more, moaning so loudly it echoed, being kissed all over your neck, with his soft lips.

“‘m gonna cum!” effortfully advising, trembling.

“go on, please, do it for me, darling.” gripping the back of his hair, pulling him into a last kiss before his sloppy pounds made you cum another time, so good that it sent electric sparks all over your body, beginning to get so dumb for his cock that if he kept it that way, you’d even tell blurt out you loved him. followed by you, repeated fucks left nanami’s mouth, very serenely and lowly until there was just this sudden warmth filling you up, thrusting one last time, and a white ring on the base of his cock, staying in position for as long as he could last. in an instant, it flew by, only noticing his missing comfort as he slid out of your cunny. but, well, the man was not hesitant to push two of his fingers inside you, keeping his cum stored safely inside. “consider it your salary advance.”

🔖: @ryumiii @shi-thats-kiera @witheldclouds @jeanswife101 @doumalover @drpepperlov3r @bontensbabygirl @cozydeku @simp-lauren @fatenpara @cookieempress2 @call-me-pretty-and-nasty

[heliads]

So, Before You Go Chapter One: First Call to Arms

Hellas is gone; so too is your life as a cartographer. You and the Darkling must quell Alina Starkov’s attempt at an uprising in order to protect the Grisha of Ravka. However, your gods are not as dead as they seem, and that which you have taken for granted will soon prove to be quite unpredictable indeed.

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Once, a very long time ago, a girl named Psyche wielded beauty as her power. Envious, the gods foretold that she would be exiled with a monster as her husband. Psyche feared the monster, but soon she realized that he was not the demon others claimed. Still, as he only visited at night when the shadows hid him from her, she was tormented by the idea that he truly was horrific. One night, Psyche spied upon his face as he lay sleeping. She broke his trust, and they were separated until Psyche could prove that she did love him, and wanted no shelter but him until the end.

You wake slowly, painfully, aware of what could have been a dream slipping away from you. For several minutes, you cannot entirely tell if you are still asleep or awake. The air is warm, a breeze blows lazy circles of air across your face. Tell me, child, when was the last time you felt enough peace to trust it was not an illusion?

Someone shifts by your side, and one glimpse of your lover’s face is all you need to know that this is no dream. For all your nightmare’s best attempts, they cannot perfectly replicate his image. Perhaps it is because he is not of their kind, the man you love, but a monster of his own creation. Your people and your spells can only do so much. They cannot fully recreate something of the Small Science, something like him. You would know. Absence made you try.

Aleksander opens his eyes slowly, dark pupils scanning the room until they land on you. Every time he wakes, you can see him start to tense until he sees you again. That is what you get for running so many times, you suppose, it makes him too knowledgeable of how easy it is to lose you.

You were never able to stay away forever, though. The longest the two of you were apart was centuries, and although those cut like a poisoned blade, they ended. You made your way to the Little Palace under the guise of Y/N Stassov, First Army cartographer and good friend of Alina Starkov, and from there on out, you were under his watch again.

In all honesty, some part of you had known from the moment your paths crossed the second time that you would not be able to leave him again without revealing yourself. Sure, your face had changed since you were the Hecari he knew in the past, but he was Aleksander and you were Y/N and you would never allow anything to part you for long. He had made mistakes, and you had tricked yourself into thinking that anyone with as many centuries under your belts as either of you could be perfectly blameless, but you were still the same couple you had always been.

In the end, the result is plain. You showed your hand and the two of you reconciled. Sure, part of that may have had to do with Alina Starkov attempting to murder you whereas Aleksander saved your life, but sometimes love needs a slight bit of motivation to pick up the pace.

The two of you are on much more solid footing now, though. If anything, you will always be united in your wrath, your protective spirit. Aleksander watches out for his Grisha, his people, and you mourn your Hellenids, your kin who have already slipped beneath the sands of time. There is no one like the two of you, and there never will be. Alina can try, but she is young, foolish, full of hopes that have yet to die. Only you and Aleksander understand how time dulls any blade. Only you and Aleksander will ever be able to complete each other.

That does not stop this whole situation from feeling somewhat impossible. You spent centuries running from him, after all, and suddenly waking up in the morning to find him sleeping next to you feels unusual. Good, but unusual. It’s what you’ve secretly been missing since the very moment you left him, but still something you never thought you would experience again.

This change in your day-to-day life could explain why you woke up so disoriented, but in truth, you fear that it might be more than that. It has been getting more difficult to tell what is real and what is fiction. Reality blends into myth into memory. What happens here and now is only a slim shade of an idea when compared to the vastness of past experience, both yours and that of your people, the Hellenids.

You had assumed that the whispering of your ghosts would trickle off into ash and nothingness when the Shadow Fold engulfed you whole, but no. If anything, it just made it worse. You were hesitating on the banks of the River Styx, so close to crossing over into the Underworld, and then Aleksander pulled you back from death and kept you there. You cannot tread that closely to your end without bringing a little part of it back with you.

You are not the only changed one. Aleksander, too, is not the same man as he was when he set out on that sandskiff. As you look at him now, you watch the early light of dawn play on the dark slices in his face, the scars from his time in the Shadow Fold after Alina Starkov abandoned both of you to die.

It had taken every ounce of your combined abilities to make it out, but both of you are changed forever now. You cannot go a moment of your day without hearing the whispering of your ancestors increased tenfold. Aleksander used merzost and is haunted by shadowy demons of his own creation.

You both had dark, deep wounds when you emerged from the Unsea, but when yours disappeared after your natural healing had run its course, Aleksander’s injuries stayed the same. You can sense how they hurt him constantly, even as he tries to hide the full extent of it from you in an attempt to maintain strength. You know him well enough to both guess that he would try to put on a brave face, and can read his body language enough to recognize the stiff movements for what they hide.

His physical appearance matters not to you. He is still yours, the man you loved centuries ago and the one you do now. If the shadows that usually billow inside of him have now decided to carve out a more visible place for themselves, so be it. You only wish that he would not have to suffer so in the process.

That is why the two of you have been scouring the Ravkan countryside in search of Grisha. The practitioners of the Small Science have been left in upheaval after the ill-fated attempt to take back control from the Lantsov king. There are few things in life you despise more than a failing, useless, greedy monarch, and not a day goes by in which you regret that the otkazat’sya fool was not already dead.

He does, however, provide you with a good opportunity to build your ranks again as the elder Lantsov son cracks down on Grisha. You and Aleksander launch venture after venture to save Heartrenders and Healers, Summoners and Durasts and everyone you can find. They’re all terribly grateful to not be dead, which only gives you more allies in this fight.

Of course this will end in a fight, how could it not? You have seen plots like this play out before. Every story runs the same course, even if the players themselves do not realize it until the end. To build a war, you must have soldiers who will die for you. Aleksander will sacrifice himself to save you, but he is one man. You want hundreds.

Until then, you have moments like this, slow glimpses of what could be a far more peaceful future if this all plays out the way you wish it. For now, you are alone with the man you love, and for this brief instance, there is nothing in this world that can bring you down.

Aleksander leans up slowly, carefully, disguising his slow hiss of pain with a question directed to you. “Did you sleep well?”

The question isn’t just a pleasant nothingness. You’ve been having nightmares as of late, snippets of what could either be memories or prophecy. If this keeps up, your mind will start to shatter. You can only hope that you’ll be able to stop that before it happens. Madness and witches do not well mix.

You sigh. “As well as could be expected. I’m still on edge from yesterday.”

Yesterday had almost gone quite badly. A group of two dozen or so Grisha had been chained in a long line and forced into the Shadow Fold at gunpoint by cowardly First Army soldiers. By the time you and Aleksander had gotten wind of what had happened, the volcra had arrived at the scene as well. 

You had fought them off, but such close proximity to the beasts had made you uneasy. Everything reminds you of what it had been like in the Shadow Fold when Alina’s light had left the two of you, how the darkness had come swooping in and left you bloody.

Aleksander had called for you to leave them, but you had insisted on saving who you could. You were jittery for the rest of the day, he could tell, but you had sworn you were fine. Perhaps he can see through you a little too well just like you with him.

Aleksander arches a brow now, likely thinking along the same lines. “So will you listen to me next time, my love? Will you let them go when it hurts you, or at least try not to disguise it from me?”

“I’ll make a deal with you,” you say as innocently as you can, “I will stop disguising my torments from you when you stop trying to pretend that those scars don’t hurt as much as they do.”

Aleksander smiles even as a fresh bout of pain turns the expression into a wince. “You drive a difficult bargain.”

“I’m known for being difficult,” you grin.

“Perhaps,” he admits, “but I like that best about you.”

It is easy, on mornings like this, to pretend that all might be well, that the two of you are not fighting a war that could be lost over something as simple as one Sun Summoner somewhere you cannot find. You have no idea if Alina Starkov has even survived, but if she did, you hope that for all the peace you wish to find with Aleksander, she will have none of it with Mal.

You and Aleksander leave your temporary shelter some time later that morning, leaving no trace that you’d been there except shadows in the corners of the rooms that fester slightly more than before. You’d heard rumors that the First Army outpost here was planning on making an example of some more Grisha near the boundary of the Shadow Fold, so that is where the two of you will be stopping first.

As dusk settles upon the area, you and Aleksander arrive upon the scene, lingering back so as not to draw unwanted attention. The two of you are technically still believed to be dead, although you doubt any smattering of soldiers could actually do so much as harm a hair on your heads. You keep your hoods up anyway. It would not do to be revealed now, not before your plan can fully come to fruition.

You narrow your eyes, straining to pick out the details in the dark night. The soldiers have put Grisha in cages, their hands bound so as to not use their abilities. The sight makes your stomach turn. Those blessed with magic should not have to die just because others are jealous of their power.

As your gaze roves from face to face, you see only weariness, fear, desolation. Aleksander had built a marvel of a world at the Little Palace, a place where all the Grisha could practice their gifts in safety. Alina claims she wants to make a better world for the Grisha, but look what she’s done. She ruined the best thing Ravkan Grisha had at peace.

You’ve almost finished scouring the captive Grisha when you notice one particular face stand out amongst the rest. It’s one you recognize, actually. It’s one you’ve been hoping to find for a while, both you and Aleksander.

You suck in a breath. “That’s– That’s Genya.”

Aleksander’s eyes harden. “It is.”

One stray glance his way and you already can guess at what he’s thinking. “We need to get her. Even if it costs us the rest. Genya can find David for us.”

Aleksander inclines his head once. “And David can fix me.”

You make a tsking sound in the back of your throat. “Men fix toys, not gods.”

He looks amused at that. “We are not gods, Y/N.”

“No,” you decide, “but we are the closest anyone will ever get to seeing them.”

Aleksander laughs, evidently pleased. “I missed your ferocity, my little soldier.”

You look at him askance. “You made me a member of your personal guard within two days of meeting me again, even before you knew it was me. I don’t know why you’re acting like this is the first time you’ve seen my ferocity in a while.”

You can just see the shadow of his smile under his hood. “And yet I still didn’t see enough of it. You left, as you might recall.”

“Yes,” you admit in a whisper, “but I came back.”

He takes your hand, interlacing your fingers with his. “I know. You always do.”

It is a statement spoken in complete calm, no trace of malice or accusation. In your eyes, it is the final proof that he has forgiven you, just as you have in turn forgiven him. Like calls to like. The two of you were never meant to be separate for long. 

Aleksander turns his gaze towards the captive Grisha once more. The First Army soldiers are watching the Shadow Fold rumble ever closer, and you can feel the terror of the Grisha prick upon your skin like needles.

“Shall we deliver them from harm, then? Shall we take back what is ours?” He asks.

You nod once. This is it, then. From this point forward, there is no going back. Everything in the past was temporary, a step in the right direction without making enough of a scene to commit to your cause. When you save these Grisha, you’ll have enough to start making real changes, to find the people you truly need and hunt down those who have betrayed you. The war will be reborn.

.Aleksander raises his arms in time with yours. Shadow monsters of merzost stalk out of the Shadow Fold, sending the First Army fleeing. Those that run are only met with spells of your creation, which pierce through their hearts like daggers. In her cage, Genya Safin fearfully raises her head, expression changing from immediate terror to slow, dense horror. She knows what the dying soldiers do not:  this is only the beginning.

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[docholligay]

Yellowjackets S2E2: Lottie

Hello! This is about up to Season 2, Episode 2 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY that of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond this spot, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

Okay, so let’s start this off with my own honesty. I HATE Lottie. Lottie is pretty much everything I hate about a person, I hate her impractical, woowoo, honor your own heart, feel the rhythm cult leader bullshit. I want to note that is most defintiely informing my read of this situation. Despite all that, I ask you to pleas please please not attempt to inform me of nayhting or spoil me. Okay. 

I do not for one second believe that Lottie ended up fucking…accidentally killing Travis because of a BUTTON MALFUNCTION. I could go into how she could have lifted up his legs and put his feet on her shoulders to help keep him from FUCKING DYING, and ALSO how he didn’t actually need to be more than an inch off the ground, but this isn’t about what Lottie failed to think of in a moment of desperation, because I don’t believe in the moment of horror and desperation.  

Remember, when she’s weaving this splendid little tale, SHE IS WEAVING THIS SPLENDID LITTLE TALE. She is the framing device for what happened with Travis. She even sets the stage, with a bunch of candles in a dimly lit room, covered in soft furnishings, as if it were a sort of confessional, and she the priest, communicating the will of God. 

THis is a story, that she is telling to Nat, a woman who has proven she is willing to severely hurt someone, and who is deeply entangled with Travis. Why WOULDN’T she frame this in a way that a woman who is absolutely haunted by the choices she made in the woods would understand? Travis wanting to make it all make sense, Laura Lee showing up and horrifying Lottie*, a moment that had horrific consequences, Travis saying --a nd of course POOR Lottie would never say this unless directly asked--that Nat would just make things worse. This entire story is being cast with the sort of lens that Nat would relate to IMMEDIATELY. It has great fucking narrative flow. 

Lottie might believe her own bullshit, but I’m not sure I think she does. The show is tipping its hand to the fact that Lottie enjoys her position of power, the way she fucking corrects her little follower about her healing smoothie, and corrects Nat about the specific color they use (which in itself is something else--heliotrope is the answer to a riddle in Finnegan’s Wake, a very confusing novel altogether that requires a lot of patience and untangling, and I think there’s something in that but I can’t really get it set in my head right). She doesn’t wear heliotrope, she wears goldenrod, or whatever she would call it. Lottie thinks herself above the people she leads, and I think that was true even back in the cabin. Maybe Lottie can commune with something, but she’s ALSO a fucking grifter. I want all of it to be true. 

“Sharing is in session” eat my entire dick, CHARLOTTE. 

I mean in fairness, Nat doesn’t believe her either, and I do think that is a great impulse. 

*I concede it is intentionally played ambiguous whether or not this is a part of the story Lottie tells. I, obviously, think she does, but again, I’m admitting my anti-Lottie bias here. 

[madnessofthespirits]

2, 9 and 17 about Diar and Alter for the character ask game 👀👀👀

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

cu alter: ummmm i'd die for anything. for example:

he's not lancer but he is very much cu chulainn

in EPU (and to a certain extent post-EPU too) he's basically just a guy trying to give himself agency in a situation where he's been robbed of his agency. this makes him act really weird

nothing about him has anything to do with warp spasm cu, even on a meta level

he's got that dissociative ptsd

whenever he's kind or caring i find it moving because he's quite literally been altered to suppress those parts of himself, which goes to show that they're actually too strong to be suppressed completely at all, and that he's fighting extra hard to be that way

(i may be interpreting this question as an opportunity to just share random opinions but hopefully that's okay)

diarmuid: the worst things that ever happened to him were ultimately the fault of awful old men with too much power and if fate would actually notice that and try to do something with what that might mean about him i think that would be a much more interesting thing to explore in regard to his character in fgo (or any other post-f/z media he could potentially be in) than well, most of the other things they've done with him post-f/z instead

also *straight guy voice* he's way stronger than either canon or fans usually treat him as being. urobuchi (or someone else on the f/z staff, i forget who) said he might have won the grail war if it weren't for kayneth being a fuckwad. all of the stuff he's done in his legends is at least as impressive as anything cu has ever done.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

cu alter: honestly i think it was during the scene where he fights nero and she's trying to understand his motives and nothing he's saying really makes much sense and she points out that he's not even enjoying what he's doing, which he implicitly agrees with, and then tells her that his only goal is to just keep fighting until he's dead. i remember thinking to myself stuff along the lines of "wow bro that sounds Bad what's your problem" and "oh he's like Fucked Up fucked up i can't not care about him" and really it just made me want to understand him so bad

and then there's the finale scene where he finally admits that he's being forced to do what he's doing because medb used the grail to place him under a geis and it's like sad as fuck because he's been forced to sacrifice the parts of himself that feel joy and love just so he can maintain his honor, and therefore it's also heroic at the same time (this is what i'm talking about when i say that though he may not be lancer he is very much cu chulainn). also the part where's he kind to medb while she's dying in spite of having little reason to be and actually holding clear dislike for her is very touching

diarmuid: i definitely liked him from the start - like he so clearly just wants to do the right thing and have fun at the same time in spite of the fact that he has this horrific past and got saddled with this shitty master - like how could i not care about him? but it's definitely the last couple of scenes he appears in that sealed the deal for me. just seeing him walk away from that shitty encounter with kayneth and turn around and decide he's not gonna let that stop him from enjoying an epic fight with his best friend - and then he experiences one of the most awful fictional deaths i can think of and we learn that this whole time while he's been smiling and taking the high road at every turn he's actually been building up this whole volcano of grief and resentment. the whole thing is just as brief as it is powerful. it's a moment of honesty, it's touching, it's relatable, it's the closest thing to justice he's allowed. it contrasts so starkly with the side of him the audience sees up until then that it comes off as genuinely shocking, and it shows that he is just as glaringly human as he is a perfect knight, and therefore what makes him such an interesting and lovable character. can't imagine how hard your heart has to be to see all that and not care for him at least a little

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

cu alter: i think you will either get it or not, but out of all the songs i associate with him, of which there are many, i think of this one as being the most "his" of them all

diarmuid: i know i've already brought this one up before but:

"when i choose to see the good side of things, i'm not being naive. it is strategic and necessary. it's how i've learned to survive through everything." -- waymond wang in everything everywhere all at once (excellent film btw if you haven't seen it)

also:

[its-a-me-mango]

(Two Cents Anon) Glad to see we got a response about the workplace allegations! Imo it seemed pretty solid and I kiiiinnda understand why he remained quiet for awhile.

HOWEVER, I still find it odd that Kevin or Luke haven't said anything about the whole situation with Celeste, which, iirc, was what started all of this. I hope they speak up about that soon- I just want her to get a real solid apology :( Also, speaking of the Celeste situation, it really does feel like the result of just. Assuming and jumping to conclusions. Still makes me feel... weird in regards to watching SMG4/Glitch Productions, so I'll continue abstaining from it.

Oh god hi anon so sorry for taking forever to answer, I've been mega busy the past week so everything's been slow as hell </3 I was also waiting at first to see if anything else will happen but things seemed to have quiet down a bit so I'll say something now.

I agree, Kevin's response was a pretty solid one, acknowledging what Glitch's current working situation is like while also acknowledging how it was in the pass definitely show some growth and change since then. I feel that a more dishonest approach would be to completely deny everything and worse yet, not address it at all. I do think the past criticisms are valid and shouldn't be disregarded now, but having a more even distribution between good and bad experiences really helps balance things out.

However I do agree though, the lack of a response to Celeste is definitely disappointing, I get the main focus of Kevin's response was to address the working conditions allegations, but this would've been the perfect time to say something. I mentioned before that Celestes' situation is probably more of a private matter unfortunately, in that any conversations are going to be between Celeste and Glitch privately.

It'll be up to them if they wish to share it publicly again, if they do or don't is up to them, I can only hope that Celeste gets a proper apology and some kind of closure privately at least, it's kinda one of those things that is more personal and therefore doesn't have to be shared publicly. I'm just glad she doesn't hold any ill will towards Lottie, as we know she's innocent in all this, I'll respect any decision that they make in regards to who keeps voicing Tari.

It's sad to think this whole situation started from poor communication, we can all sit here and say how easy this was to avoid because in all honesty, it was very easy to avoid. We can only hope that Glitch learns from this, but it sucks that this comes at the expense of loosing one of their first VA's, and subsequently all the others who quit too. I still genuinely wish all of them the best and that they can move onto greater things.

I do think Jasmine's apology is all we'll get unfortunately, but it's at least something.

I get what you mean about still not feeling comfortable watching Glitch, I'm still not entirely comfortable with it, but for me personally I'm probably gonna go back to watching them soon, even if this never gets fully resolved. Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset and disappointed with Glitch over this, but I do genuinely believe they can improve from this, I'm willing to give them another chance basically.

Part of my reasons to stop watching was because of the workplace conditions, I was under the assumption every single employee was horrifically overworked and underpaid, and I would take no comfort in watching something I knew was made under those conditions. But now that we have clarified that those claims are not entirely true (again maybe for in the past but definitely not as much now), I can take some comfort in that.

I will still 100% keep myself and everyone else here updated incase any new developments happen, but I do genuinely think this is all we're going to get unfortunately. Wether you can continue to watch Glitch or not is entirely up to you and as I've always said, I hold no judgement towards anyone, if you're not satisfied enough to keep watching them, thats fine and understandable.

I don't want anyone to think I'll be forgetting about this just because I'm gonna go back to watching and making content soon, and neither should anyone else forget about this, I just genuinely think Glitch can improve and change from this and I'm willing to give them a chance. Obviously if something like this happens again then I'm done, but I've seen enough accountability this time around (albeit kinda weak) to keep watching them for now.

That's all I'll say for now, I'm still happy to keep hearing from people about this, I don't want this to become "old drama", it's literally 2/3 weeks old now that's not old, I'm old, my back aches.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Imposter (2012)

On paper, The Imposter sounds like a jazzed-up episode of Cold Case Files. It’s got archival footage, interviews, re-enactments and a real-life mystery that’s so wild its honesty seems dodgy. The mystery is compelling, the scenario is unusual but it doesn’t feel like something that needed to be on the big screen. That’s until the film drops a bombshell of an idea on you. At that point, you forget this is a movie and not a live news broadcast. You keep wondering if the case will break wide open before your very eyes. Then, there’s another big revelation that makes you question everything you saw previously. This is the kind of documentary that sticks with you long after it’s over.

In 1994, 13-year-old Nicholas Patrick Barclay vanished. Three years later, Frédéric Bourdin, a 23-year-old living in Spain contacted the police, claiming to be Nicholas. Inconceivably, Bourdin was accepted with open arms by the boy’s family.

You can understand why this is one of those true stories that feels like it was made up. Early on, we see Bourdin talk about what drove him to pretend to be Nicholas. You buy it but for him to fool everyone the way he did? It seems impossible. Nicholas was a blond American with blue eyes. Frédéric speaks with a French accent, has black hair and brown eyes. He’s also 7 years older than Nicholas would be and living in Europe. Even with all the techniques he used to make himself look like Nicholas, how could Bourdin deceive everyone? You have to know.

After seeing the interviews with Nicholas’ family, you can sort of understand what happened. When a child goes missing, you eventually accept that you will never see them alive again. You know they’re dead but a part of you wants to know what happened, no matter how horrific it might be - because that void is so much worse. Even so, was Nicholas’ family really convinced, or did they convince themselves that they were convinced so they could leave the agony of the unknown behind? As crazy as Bourdin fooling those who knew Nicholas sounds, you can understand how grief might’ve blinded them to the obvious. What’s just as bewildering is that he also managed to fool police officials and even FBI agents.

I don’t want to say too much and risk spoiling the later surprises. The initial situation is crazy enough but then, it gets even loonier because you learn certain things about Bourdin, the family that adopts him and about Nicholas that turn this fascinating real-life case of Catch Me If You Can into a white-knuckle thriller. It shouldn’t be as intense as it is because you know who’s still alive/free in 2012 but in the moment, you forget that you know. Once the credits finish rolling, you better hope you were watching The Imposter with someone else. You'll be compelled to turn to ask “So… what do you think really happened at the end?” when you do, you'll have an epiphany. “What a second, am I doing exactly what they wanted me to do?” There’s a particular line that Nicholas’ sister says about what this spotlight brought to the family that really stuck with me. You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you see it.

The Imposter is a real-life story you can never forget. You also won’t forget the way it makes you feel. For a long time, you might think you’ve cemented your feelings towards this one person, only for your thoughts about them to make a complete 180. The testimonies are moving and thought-provoking. The re-enactment footage is equally effective. Adam O’Brian plays a younger version of Bourdin and he’s got his mannerisms down to a tee, particularly his facial expressions. I didn’t even realize they were different people until I watched the special features.

Like many documentaries, I don’t know if The Imposter would have the same impact on you upon a re-watch but I can imagine myself seeing it again, if only to see how others react to its big questions. (September 21, 2023)

[augment-techs]

So, in Digimon Adventure we have these things called "Crests", which are symbols that represents the most strongest qualities that each of the protagonists had. With that in mind, I was wondering, since there are nine crests, out of Jason, Billy, Zack, Trini, Kimberly, Bulk, Skull, Matt and Tommy, which crest do you think goes to each character?

We have the following Crests:

Courage (understanding the stakes and being able to assertively stand up against them for the sake of others) Friendship (being able to trust, connect with, and work alongside others) Love (caring for others and providing them proper emotional support and warmth) Knowledge (inquisitiveness, and a desire to know and understand more) Purity (being true to one’s feelings, simply keeping one’s feelings and intentions straightforward, not being underhanded, and, most importantly, not having malice, acting without any trace of evil or selfish motives) Honesty (doing right on principle – keeping one’s word or promise, not deceiving others, doing things in good faith, an understanding one’s duty to others) Hope (being able to endure hardships and not breaking when faced with impossible odds, holding tight to the bitter end) Light (treasure all life and the right for one to live) Kindness (being perfectly capable of not handling things kindly, but chooses to anyway and understanding when one must take feelings into account and treat things with that consideration)

.....Well, this is something I can play with, actually~

Light: TRINI. It's Trini. There is no contesting this in any universe except the Coinless--and even that Trini, while traumatized a little...not great at sticking to treasuring all life...cares about everyone at least getting a CHANCE at life. *Points directly at Scorpina and Kiya* Knowledge: Billy. But was there ever any doubt? The man collects facts and observes everything and defied Zordon just to SEE if he could get the Green Dragon Coin up and running again. He's a small badass with a brain and we love him. Courage: Jason gets this in any and every universe (including the Coinless, even if he is damaged horrifically because of it). His Primary Color is Red, but this works with Gold, too. It's largely just the rules, but also...he stood up and called his dad out on his bullshit in GGPR. This is his. Honesty: This could have gone either way between Matt and Zack, largely because they both exhibit this trait, but Matt won in the end because of his identity reveal in the Under the Dome Arch in Mighty Morphin. Also it seemed--and still seems--rather important to him in GGPR and most times after that (including this Darkest Hour bullshit). It suits him. Kindness: And moving right along, Zack gets this crest because...well, he IS the Kindest Ranger. In all dimensions, and timelines, he's never been cruel and considers things and people and situations from a very...soft place. And people love him for it--otherwise he wouldn't have seventy-billion acquaintances in Angel Grove. Friendship: Look, I'll level with you, Tommy is a pain in the ass to consider in any way, shape, or form from any dimension or timeline. BUT, BUT, BUT this is his crest. This is his one and only absolute from the second he came into contact with the Power and will probably continue on until he dies. Even Drakkon has a scintilla of this and he's a fucking psychopathic narcissist. *pats the young man with a ponytail on the head* Purity: ....Kimberly is Pink and meets, like, 98% of the above criteria for this crest. Do I really have to going into reasons why? Even Ranger Slayer--if we keep in mind the obedience spell--fits here. Love: *drags out a giant, five story neon arrow and points it directly at Bulk* People can whine and bitch about his og Season 1 bullshit all they want. I do not care. After they get that out of their system, I will simply point to his EVERYTHING involving Skull, the Rangers when he finds out about them, Spike, his personality in GGPR and the rest of the comics and then circle him in shiny gold gel pen ink when I get to the Coinless universe version of this darling man.

Hope: *starts counting off* Probably got dumped by Billy when it became obvious that they were just too different to be close friends anymore, but still tried to look out for him. Steered Kimberly away from making a really stupid mistake after her breakup with Matt. Helped save civilians in a monster attack and gained a (technically fake, but I digress) girlfriend that saw that humanity was worth saving which earned the Rangers an ally. Kept looking everywhere for Candice/Zelya even after weeks/over a month (??). Believes too much in Bulk and Earth to just abandon them when Zelya offered to take him to Eltar. Is trying to improve himself in the aftermath. And this is not including The Sentry Coinless Spy version of himself that survived until the last day before Drakkon became a god--which, by the way, ended with him dying STILL believing in the Rangers. It's Skull.

[pollyendings]

A Letter of Warning

Dearest Readers,

My name is Polly Endings. 

It is not my given name but it will be the name you and the rest of many worlds shall call me as I tell you my Horrific and Gothic Tales. I have given myself this name in memory of my dearest friend, who with her companion, has traveled around many worlds like I have and seen a tremendous amount of things no other lifeforms from many worlds have ever seen like royal lions and battles with many creatures you would believe could only be seen in the world of fantasy in enchanted kingdoms. So, this name means very much to me as it is the name I believe truly describes who I am and what kind of person I dream to be.

But my name is not why I am composing this letter to you all.

This is nothing but a WARNING!

A WARNING to be cautious of my tales of travel through worlds for they are very graphic and violent with some fowl language and actions that will haunt the dreams you once depended on to lift your spirits up. There will be many lives taken in ways you couldn't imagine dying in, with situations that seem impossible to escape from.

And the monsters...

Oh, the monsters...

The monsters I have seen with ugly descriptions and horrific intentions with many human beings (mostly death and destruction). And these monsters I have seen were not always from the depths of many underworlds, but they were many of them in human forms with hearts darker than the night and horrifying. I still cannot believe many of them still exist in the world I come from and many more.

And with these tales of mine there will be many tragedies, betrayal, torture, and forms of revenge for many injustice acts that can never be forgiven by anything holy. Tears will be shed and mixed with fresh blood still flowing out like rivers and seas that will never stop flowing.

Some of these tales I will write as short stories that will only take 5-25 pages to horrify you but many I will write in Poetry for traveling through worlds there are horrors you see that you mustn't tell through stories but through poetic words to make it seem as honest as you can make it. That is what my form of storytelling is: Honesty. 

If you are considered cowardly or faint-hearted or easily offended, then I must ask you - not beg or plead - that you only read this letter of warning and never take a single look or read a single word from the tales I will soon start writing. They will bring back all the creatures of the night you once feared as a child and they will never go away. I promise you that you will never know what normal is ever again.

But those who are courageous and brave-hearted, then I welcome you all to read my tales and know all I have seen in different worlds other then the one you are reading this letter in right at this moment. So, come one come all to what you will want to read. Come with me through a journey of what really lies inside the dark. 

Let your eyes be open by the beauty in the Gothic, Horror, and Terror.

I WELCOME ALL!

From yours truly,

Polly Endings.

I will start posting my dark tales a week after I posted this letter.

Poetry will be posted twice a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Again, I must specify that this is adult content and I ask very much that you read my warning about what I create.

Thank you and I hope you all will like what will be coming out soon.

[llycaons]

ep 32 (3/3): BRUTAL

in the book it was said that wwx was 'half-dead with fear' when he heard this. I loved the phrase

oh NOW you're telling him to play? lwj you're at some kind of crisis here you don't know WHAT you want

on my first watch I remember so clearly thinking 'oh teehee I've seen the spoilers there's nothing to surprise me only to GASP when this shot happened

I can tell it's su she's stupid upper lip and stupid nose too. he has very distinctive lower facial features

I was fully sobbing by this point so idk if I have any more commentary beyond *whimpering noises* look how terrified they are...that's their big sister

pretty fucked up that he's a jiang sect member

oohh, this shot is devastating. seeing him from across the battlefield, in this one instant, they're together again, and then-

this shot KILLS me. I know I talk a lot about wwx but jc loves jyl so much. he loves her so much. that's his big sister too. part of the reason the estrangement is so painful is because I get it. I get his anger and his violence and his bitterness. I don't agree with how he handled it, but I understand it

ohh this shot

honestly it looks a little wonky. there have been several shots this episode that have looked awkward. but who cares

I've been looking forward to the postres arc because it's not as relentlessly sad but I'm going to miss jyl SO much. look at her. she deserved the world

this is another line that slaughters me. she refers to wwx earlier at jinlintai, but this can also refer to their entire relationship. despite his closeness with jyl, wwx has often avoided true vulnerability or honesty with her. especially recently, for political reasons - stepping back, offering formality, running off, slipping away, bouncing her questions back to her. even with this person who's the closest he has to a mother, he couldn't sit down with her and entirely be with her in the way she wanted them all to be. and that hurt her! she wanted that closeness for all three of them, for the rest of their lives. oh jyl im so sorry you all couldn't make it in this lifetime

and this. fuck

oh! that WAS the brother of the archer! it was mentioned in the book but I couldn't remember if it was canon to here as well. ugh, how appropriate it was for revenge

HEY. DON'T PLAY THAT

I've seen a really angry post (in the lwj tag no less) trying to put this situation into a modern context and it characterized wwx as super careless and irresponsible and uncommunicative, who was directly the cause of jyl running into 'a gang fight' and 'getting caught in the crossfire' idk it was super defensive of jc punching wwx but I think it misrepresented a lot of details unfairly. like this is a really complicated and painful situation for EVERYONE that wwx does bear some responsibility for, even if it happened due to other people's decisions besides him. and also he was trying to save innocent people from being murdered, idc how little info jc had about the state of wwx's core he DID know that and he simply didn't care or like try to extend some sympathy and support for him? that's like one of the most understandable goals...ever

anyway saying that wwx was directly responsible for jyl's death is simply untrue. she chose to come to the fight (HOW DID SHE GET THERE??? HOW DID SHE KNOW ABOUT IT??? WHERE'S HER GUARDS??? UNIMPORTANT). she came to look for him, sure, but he never wanted her anywhere near it. she was injured by something they thought was under wwx's control, true. but she died because she chose wwx over herself

that's not something he had any control over. and to hold that over his head when there was nothing he could have done once he realized what was happening, for someone who already bears a lot of guilt for simply surviving/being loved/being taken off the streets, it's just a horrifically cruel thing to put on him. and hey, grief doesn't always make sense. but I understand completely why wwx did what he did next. and after he comes back to life, it's even more obvious how much he needs his close relationships to be with people who don't hold anything over him or blame him for simply being alive or demand things from him that he simply can't give

oh....

wwx kills this guy with his bare hands but like. who cares, right? no focus is on this man at all, curiously. jc could have blamed him instead. but he seems wholly convinced that every single bad thing that's ever happened to him was wwx's fault. to be fair, they don;t know about the second flautist yet so it doesn't look great for him, but also...you know how much your sister and brother loved each other! dude!

anyway i feel wretched

personal hightlights (what a joke. no this was a good episode)

god. "I want to stay with him a bit longer" and jyls' face when she sees wwx

madam jin breaking down and sobbing once she leaves the room

the heroic music setting wwx up as the villain of the story is a REALLY good touch

white paint on wwx's face <3

the cry-laughing

all of his lines on the roof but especially the ones about how he has to be careful who he hurts even though anyone can try to kill him with impunity and 'your hatred and admiration both come so cheap!' + the significance that has for wx

pulling out the arrow and killing the archer with it was BALLER

jc holding jyl in his arms is an unforgettable image

[kahin]

rebecca chambers is one of two protagonists in the game Resident Evil 0. she is a STARS agent medic tasked with investigating murders in the Arklay Mountains and later locating fugitive billy coen, our second protagonist and former US marine second lieutenant who is soon to serve a death sentence. from her first introduction, we don't really get to know her personality. she tries to be professional, follow standard procedures, the classic "identify yourself" &c &c. but she does feel awkward around her teammates. stiff almost.

when rebecca stumbles upon billy for the first time, she stills keeps up the same demeanour as mentioned before, even saying she'll take him into custody before he just shrugs it off and walks away. he is also untrusting of her, obviously, proved by his line, "No offense, honey, but your kind doesn't seem to want me around."

after they separate, rebecca is then contacted by her captain enrico, who gives further information on billy's history. now, rebecca is someone who believes she has to be self-sufficient; in addition, her learning of billy's supposed crimes makes her carry a very blatant air of hostility / distrust towards him on second meet and gives her a high inclination to refuse working with him. despite being trapped in a nightmare situation, she still believes she has to do her job and take him into custody as if it 1) would matter in the slightest and 2) wouldn't significantly decrease her chance of survival, later proved as the story progresses.

on the other hand, billy is now somewhat willing to put aside their differences and work together to survive (although it was initially met with stuff like "Cooperate? With you?"). his first face-to-face appearance gives the impression of him being somewhat slick. calculated, perhaps.

when the train begins to derail, in either scenario of who goes to fix it, they both advise the other to take caution. this implies one of two things: that they both are starting to care and actually collaborate for a common goal; or that it could probably just be them needing the other to survive so that they, in turn, could survive too and doesn't necessarily imply any kind of feelings for each other (non-romantic). however, as their relationship seems to progress further past this point, i'm willing to say it's the former.

later in the training facility, after rebecca is attacked and falls into a pit, barely clinging on, she's saved by billy who says he just wants to "keep his word" because they promised to cooperate. rebecca is contacted by enrico again, and he asks if shes located coen yet. now its her turn to keep her word. so, does she? yes. she lies for him and says she hasnt been able to locate him.

back on topic, its in this specific situation where rebecca laments the fact she's disobeyed orders on her first mission and also hints she may have lost hope of survival, evidenced by her saying:

[text: I probably won't live long enough to worry about it.]

rebecca shows curiousity whether billy did kill 23 people or not. this, i believe, shows that she finally is beginning or wants to trust him. billy's response? of course, its telling the truth to her.

see, this specific part is what gets me and is in all honesty one of the the biggest yikes in the entire franchise. i mentioned earlier that billy coen is a second lieutenant for the marine corps, right? well, as it turns out, billy was sent to "intervene" in an african civil war. his team died from the heat and killed off by guerilla forces, leaving only 4 left to raid the hideout of said forces lying deep in the jungle. except, surprise, surprise: the hideout wasnt there. it was a village. billy's leader at the time decided to round up the villagers, kill them, and frame billy, who asked the leader to stand down before being knocked out by a rifle.

this whole part about intervening is portrayed as right. even after billy speaks about the horrific murder of those villagers. what he says is:

"The idiots in charge had us operating based on wrong information. But we couldn't just go back home empty-handed, oh no. Our leader ordered us to attack an innocent village."

so its chalked up to just wrong information, implying that them intervening in another country's civil war is perfectly okay as long as they were killing the right people. supposedly. i think this speaks for itself enough. this can be simplified a bit more as: its just a few bad apples committing the atrocities and going unpunished.

now, putting the ethics of that aside, rebecca is now aware of the fact that billy was there when those people were killed but not whether he killed them. not wanting the obvious to be true, presses him on this matter. so, he becomes dismissive and says that his only options are running or dying.

some shared traits i've noticed over the different scenario cutscenes are that they start off with a more simple "be careful" and evolve to feeling almost laidback around each other and distressed when the other is injured or in harm's way.

in rebecca's case, im not sure if its exclusive to billy since she seems to lament never having seen enrico again after she said she'd catch up with him later after finding billy (missing context: billy fell down a railing). she feels great relief finding him alive, of course. by this point their relationship has already reached its peak.

after escaping, billy and rebecca walk outside as billy throws away his handcuffs and rebecca takes his dogs tags, signifying newfound freedom for billy as rebecca would later go on to fake his death and ask for a suspension of his case. billy lies on the grass for a moment, finally able to breathe. neither seem too happy to part, but as they do, they share a salute. rebecca walks off, and billy quietly thanks her and mimics her signature thumbs up.

To summarize is that their relationship evolves from one of hostility and tension to mutual respect and could have even been friendship had they been around each other longer.

rebecca's standalone personality is that of wanting to help others. she's less serious in this title, although she tries to be. she's smart, bold, loyal, gentle, unsure of herself but still willing to put herself at risk to help those she cares for, she's not quite as strong for sure like other women in the series, but i think it's to be expected since she's a rookie. in contrast, billy is more serious, intimidating, confident, a bit aloof, and strong. despite that, they both consider each other equals. im not in the mood to clean this up anymore ifyou notice mistakesin my proofreading or whatever no you DONT khalas. im done estaweeet

[thecondemnedangelgabriel]

O

THIS IS ALSO TO EMILY REYNOLDS'S BOYFRIEND

There are aspects to This Situation

And to My Artwork and Personhood...

That may be difficult for you to Initially Comprehend or Decipher

Emily is not always a Good Guide to The Situation

And UNFORTUNATELY the UK POLICE have not been, either...

But that is soon to CHANGE

Because I was left to Die as a Victim of an Organised Powerful Ring

And MY CHILDREN also left to be Attacked by these Criminals...

And SOMEBODY THAT I LOVED AND CARED ABOUT was messaging me and communicating constantly about their Horrific Entrapped Situation and Experience... but ALL HELP WAS DENIED

Because the Police... have been Corrupted in the UK by the WPR

I have been through something Very Extreme

It is VERY EXTREME

It has been Denied by the Unknowing and those without Understanding and by the Manipulated...

It has also been Denied by CRIMINALS like Tregonning...

It WON'T BE DENIED BY THE POLICE IN THE FUTURE...

The Police and their Ability to Bring Justice and even to PERCEIVE CRIME

Has been at the Mercy of Corrupt People in High Ranking

Influencing Policing

And even in Cabinet, Historically...

That is being Addressed

O

Tregonning works hard to make TRUTH seem like a Delusion

Tregonning works with Catfishing and AI

Tregonning is a Wealthy Criminal who has Properties Abroad...

Tregonning doesn't need people's HELP

Those who HELP TREGONNING are assisting WPR Criminality

O

And it has Affected ME... Increasing My Spiritual Sensitivity O O O

And I have been able to SEE O O O

That Emily kept making Very Bad Choices Indeed

EVIL CHOICES

Leading Emily towards a Horrific Fate

THE WAY OUT IS TOTAL HONESTY AND CONFESSION EMILY

V

[innocence-impulse]

@ofimmortalis cont. 🎶

As she rode in the carriage toward her destination, she couldn't help but think that this mission was cursed from the very beginning. It seemed to her like she was the only exorcist sent to investigate the case of rising dead people, which sounded more like a part of a horror story than something real. Not for the first time, Alice thought that the heads of the Black Order were simply trying to get rid of her.

The task she was given sounded similar to what the Millennium Earl did when he resurrected a soul, forcing it to come back into a metal body instead of a live one. However, if the rumors were true, there was something even more horrific going on ��-- an actual dead person coming back to life. It seemed barbaric and unforgivable. No one should be allowed to toy with the concept of life and death, and the idea of a living dead walking was difficult for Alice to comprehend.

Upon finally arriving at her destination, she contemplated where to begin and decided to take a leisurely walk down the street. It didn't matter to her whether it was day or night, as she was prepared to defend herself with her weapon and golem by her side.

It was then that she noticed an undertaker's salon. Who better to know about death than someone who encounters it daily? It took a lot of courage from her to enter, and to her amusement, she found a man very quickly. Not being able to speak up first, instead, she tapped him on the shoulder lightly, but his reaction made her confused and even stand back a little.

«Oh, I'm sorry. I never thought a person like you could be so easily scared.»

The way Alice shuddered, and her body language showed how uncomfortable she was in the entire situation, but she tried to keep up the facade no matter what. Pointing to the rose cross on her chest, despite the shyness and awkwardness of their first meeting, she continues.

«...I was sent by an organization called the Black Order. I'm an exorcist, we are investigating everything connected to death. I heard a rumor that there are some cases of living corpses, do you know something about it?»

Furthermore, there's no sense in hiding the truth. After all, her rose cross was revealed, so anyone would ask questions, but it's not for everyone alike she opened up in all honesty. Then she adds more silently as if telling a secret.

«The Black Order is a secret organization, so don't worry. If there's truly something like this happening here, in the heart of Britain, not a single soul outside of the head of organization will know about it.»